#I'm also convinced he knew when all my brain stuff was going on

[whelpimnauthuman]

There's a special kind of love between a person suffering from a kidney stone and the cat worriedly following them to and from the bathroom

#he sits outside the door then immediately hops in my lap with the heating pad and purrs gjdjrjgj #Quil's KNOWN to be like. the Medic Alert cat #if I'm about to have a (really bad) seizure he cuddles EXTRA HARD and won't let me up/move #and if i am actively having one he screams and cries and does whatever he can to get someone's attention #mom has/had uncontrolled diabetes (she doesn't live with me anymore so idk if she still does)- #and he used to bite her awake when her sugar crashed #I'm also convinced he knew when all my brain stuff was going on #just based on his behavior and timeline stuff #he's the sweetest boy too! #his purr is loud enough you can hear him from the other end of the room #he's got really bad anxiety but once you get to know him he's sweet and cuddly #everyone thinks he's mean tho bc the anxiety and kinda rbf #he's getting older (he's like. 12?) and tbh i have. NO IDEA what im going do without him whenever he dies #rambling in the tags #listen im stuck trying to pass this thing may as well right?

[some-pers0n]

I'm gonna be blunt and say that I really don't think a lot of people kinda get these two characters. Sure, yeah, there'll be people like "Psshh no?? Me?? I know exactly who these guys are" and like, yeah maybe you do. Maybe you'll read this while nodding your head and whatnot. Maybe you won't.

Either way, I think there's a decent amount of people who don't...get Qibli and Winter. I mainly see it in shipping stuff. I know it's kinda idiotic to go looking for character stuff in shipping-- you know what?? No. I think it's perfectly sound logic to try and look for meaningful character writing in ship stuff, especially with fanfics. I've got that aroace mindset where I can only comprehend a ship if it has a clear and exact thematical and character-driven purpose.

Anywho, I think there's something to be craved with how Qinter is talked about in the fandom. I think there's something in general to be desired when discussing Qibli and Winter in general (or, hell, most of the characters) or other ships they're in, but I want to discuss Qinter mainly as a means to view them through the lens of a relationship. Some sort of duo and pair. Two young dragonets trying to survive.

Winter and Qibli come from incredibly similar backgrounds. That sounds ridiculous at a first glance, but when you think about it, they do. They both were raised with terrible parents who held them to an unrealistic standard that neither really wanted to be.

Winter was forced to become a child soldier and be the best of the best, despite his best rightfully not being absolutely perfect and having a ton of heart and soul in him. Ironically enough, his sheer loyalty to his friends that he displays later would be commended in the IceWing army, but is only looked down upon because he's showing anything other than pure apathy at existence and disgust when confronted with the other tribes. Winter is a kind soul who was shaped and twisted into becoming somebody far meaner to fit the idea of what his parents wanted him to be. It's a mask he wears to fit in. To be at least be tolerated by the dragons he only wants the approval from.

Qibli was raised in the slums of Scorpion Den. The back alleys and dark, seedy streets that are avoided. He had to fit the build of a thief. A petty pickpocket that lurks around like his family, doing nothing more than swiping whatever goods they could get their hands on. Qibli was kind and sweet, which obviously was a terrible sin in the eyes of his family. Like Winter, this planted a seed of wanting to be loved, although to a significantly larger extent than Winter felt. Qibli became obsessed with the idea of being loved as he hated being seen as nothing. He wanted nothing more than to be praised and admired because of just how neglected he was. So, he pretends to be somebody likable. Somebody who others care about. A mask to conceal the dragon he feels can never be loved.

Because of their backgrounds, they feel at odds when they're introduced to one another. Qibli is the laid-back jokester type while Winter is snarly and angry. Thanks to Moon's powers though, we get a look into them even before their book.

We see that Qibli is paranoid and his brain is constantly trying to predict others. He's always in a state of stress and fear, putting on a performance to try and be liked and see which dragons are the biggest threats to him. He's never gotten used to living outside of the crime-filled Scorpion Den, and the memories of childhood where he had to lay awake thinking that some dragon who his mother stole from will murder them all in their sleep remain. He's scared and afraid.

Winter managed to convince himself that he is this mean and nasty dragon, but really he's not. There's moments of hesitancy in MR from him. He's also just. generally not really that much in the wrong in the book. Sorry my Winter Apologist side is coming out but y'all hate too much on a character who was just kinda mean for some random dragon he only knew for a couple days at most by then doing stuff that was very suspicious. Yeah obviously Moon is the protagonist and we like her and know the full context, but Winter?? He doesn't know anything!

I digress however. They're in. not the best of states. Sure, yeah, Qibli had ran from Vulture and Cobra and was now Thorn's adoptive son of sorts, but he was obsessed with Thorn to the point of almost blind worship. He hailed her as some grand dragon because he had never been loved before. Being loved by somebody felt incomprehensible. He wants to repay it since he feels like he doesn't deserve it.

Winter on the other hand has just gotten away from a terrible situation, where his family more or less just hates him. They hate him so much it's not even funny. Winter had gotten Hailstorm, somebody who Winter loved and admired, was stolen away by the SkyWings and presumed dead for years because of him. He blames himself. He constantly thinks that he should've been the one taken away instead. He doesn't see himself worthy to live, especially not compared to Hailstorm. Hailstorm is charming, smart, strong, and better in every capacity to Winter. How could he ever live up to that?

Their shared flaw is that they feel inadequate. They feel as though there's something inherently flawed with themselves, something that they need to hide away. It was shaped because of their similar backstories, where they were neglected and abused and put down because of them never being able to meet the unreasonable expectations placed on them. Because of this trauma, their personalities in the present are shaped to try and fit in.

It's only by being with the Jade Winglet do they begin to unlearn those habits. I would imagine that, in moments where they chat with each other for the first real time (not fighting or anything), they...notice how alike they are. Like holding up a mirror to themselves. Despite how differing their personalities are, they feel one in the same. The other side of the coin.

It's why I think Qinter really works as something more than a cheap means for comedic relief. They bounce off each other really well and in an interesting way, which makes for their interactions feeling a lot more meaningful when they put away the act and show and are genuine. I honestly think that they would want to help each other out. They see themselves in the other and don't want them to feel like they have to do this, but they can't even save themselves.

It's only with time however. Healing is a process. It's sure as hell hard to do it all alone. It's why I love a lot the themes of friendship and togetherness in arc 2 especially. All of the POVs learn how to be more confident and sure of themselves through their friends. I just wish that Qinter was talked about in a more intellectually stimulating way than "yellow boy laughs at blue boy for being angsty teen"

#I wrote this mostly for the Wiki to see since I'm about ready to start tearing flesh from people's necks with my teeth #over the sheer amount of Qibli hate that ultimately amounts to “he's annoying and an overthinker :/” #You guys don't unNnnNNDERRRRSTANNNDDDD #sp-rambles #wof #wings of fire #qibli wof #winter wof #qinter

[thatdeadaquarius]

Okay so-- i was reading some sagau posts and came across this one where the reader was an army vet and my brain just Did Its Thing--

So now I'm here to inflict this on to you--

Would guns be considered as catalysts. And would they only do Phys Damage.

Me reading this ask:

😶 😐 🤨 🧐 🧐 😰 🥲 😭😭😭 💀

STOP YOU'VE INFLICTED ME WITH PSYCHOLOGICAL DMG FROM THIS ASK 😭

(Also srry took so long to respond, when i didnt realize how short this was/was just sitting over here 😓)

^ For the sake of gun imagery being a lot/maybe staff might hate me for it,

we'll put this gay shit instead (i almost mispelled to "gay shot" lmao)

☆

Sun: Army Veteran Reader, Gender neutral Reader (you/they/them)

Orbit: SHORT Headcanons

Stars: everybody bc i think itd be funny

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: gun stuff, mild violence, mild cursing & Trigger Warnings: Gun fun everywhere

THIS ASK HAS ME GIGGLING TO MYSELF LIKE A MANIAC

You're out here having a whole gun they let you take for off-base

And u ofc have a license so u can conceal carry

(idk how non-american gun laws work, but tbh ours are so fucked idk how they work here either, just that an army guy i knew once could have his gun when he got back home)

And ofc ur just paranoid enough (more like it just makes u feel safe)

That when u get yoinked into a portal to a silly little brightly colored gacha game fantasy world, the gun comes with 💀

Id like to add in my silly little "ur in a video game, so video game rules" AU version of genshin so:

The only other gun (ish) wielder (Mika) has unlimited bolts

Sooo I'd think your gun would be the same jfc lol

NO BC YOUD SCARE THE ACTUAL SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE IN UR VICINITY IN A BATTLE

BC GUNSHOTS ARE A DIFFERENT TYPE OF LOUD

When u first stumble into abyss monsters/hostile creatures of the realm, u nearly scare off a Lawlachurl bc every shot's like thunder to these bitches😭

So not only the monsters but the vision holders think u fucking summoned lightning

OMG THE BULLETS ARE SO FAST THEYD PROBABLY NOT SEE IT

ESP BC DISTRACTED BY GUNSHOT LOUDNESS

SO U AIM THIS LITTLE BLACK CROSSBOW (???) AND THINGS JUST DIE (OR GET RIDDLED WITH HOLES) WITH NO CLEAR ARROW STICKING OUT

STOPP- you're becoming a witchy god or smth to all of Teyvat bc it just looks like hella high level magic atp to them LMAOOO

Rumors of you get out of hand and say u just point or snap ur fingers and things get wounded/just die on the spot 💀

Oh another difference between Teyvatians seeing ur gun vs. crossbow (what they know)

Is that guns are wayyyy more destructive

Like an arrow would get shot but it'd bounce off of things like rock or wood or metal, maybe dent a little depending on how close

But a bullet goes thru that shit so easy, and leaves a whole little explosion behind, once again depending on range

(I once saw a Mythbusters episode? of them proving bullets would definitely go thru car doors, like movies lied to u, this is why drive-bys acc work like for gangs)

Lmao, the image of you in like full armor with a Teyvat made automatic gun after showing it to blacksmiths

Makes u just more convincing as a god, esp bc military training

(Ppl like Gorou and Kokomi begging for military tactics/training ur world has done)

...

....Ok.

I'll address it.

But only so u dont think im stupid later.

Yes, the Fatui have guns.

No, this not the same as having a glock LMAO

End of story.

(Also, urs runs on bullets, whereas the Fatui rely on magic/delusions to power theirs, plus they dont seem as fast or destructive as urs, more "explosions aimed at you" than real bullets)

Which,,, u leave the managing of ppl copying ur gun to ppl like the Qixing or smth, but make sure to give them advice on good gun laws if teyvat accidentally revolutionizes bc of ur advanced gun that anybody can wield (non-vision users)

Thats the best ive got abt that

Oh, also enjoy being praised as a War god now.

:)

☆

... dammit i had smth i was gonna tell u guys-

Uh what tf was it, it was important

OH

Next post is the Eldritch God Oneshot! Look out for it :) !!

☆

Safe Travels Kid,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

#lookie i made my first border image guys!! 🥺 #a little rough but eh #i used a stock image and then added that little moon #also this gun shit takes me out i could write just a whole crack oneshot abt ending up in teyvat with a gun lmao #genshin sagau #genshin impact #sagau #genshin isekai #genshin imagines #my asks #gender neutral reader #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin #✨️forgot all my tags again✨️ #uh #genshin harem #i mean what #genshin x reader

[arrenkae]

Some final thoughts on the Emperor:

I fucking love the guy. He is SUCH a manipulative asshole. He straight up catfishes you and when you find out about his true nature he just goes ahead and proceeds to be all like

"No dude you can still trust me, I'm just like you. I totally have Normal Human feelings. I never lied to you (except when I did). Go look at my basement with all the sentimental trinkets I keep there. I had a dog, does it make me sympathetic enough? Let's have another Heartfelt Convensation, but I'm shirtless now. Will you trust me more if we bang? Yes good so are you ready to turn into a mindflayer yet"

And boy he is REALLY good at this and sounds very convincing

But if you refuse to fall for is act he gets SO pissed off and changes his tune instantly and straight up shows you that this woman he told you about? How he cared so much for her and he is so totally sad that she's dead and do you feel sad for him as well now

Yeah he totally mind controlled her all this time

(which tbh I picked up on way too early because duke Stelmane having brain damage from being controlled by a mind flayer was a big plot point in one of our d&d games and I knew that it was a canon thing in forgotten realms lore even before bg3 came out)

And he's like WELL AREN'T YOU GLAD THAT I AM NOT MIND CONTROLLING YOU

(and by the way I reloaded my save to try those dialogue options; but in the end I played my character as someone who leaned into trusting him, maybe being just a bit wary but still considering him a necessary ally)

But you see

The best part is

That he is SUCH an asshole and keeps giving off more and more sinister vibes and when he asks you to give him the stones to control the elder brain it 100% feels like "oh yeah. this is it. this is the part where this obviously evil guy betrays you"

And then he just

Doesn't

Idk I fucking love it

Because yeah he is totally manipulating you. To do the same the same thing that you also want to do, which happens to be something that is good and beneficial for the realms

But still all he cares about in the end is self-preservation

This game really does well to show that a mind flayer doesn't have to be "evil" in the usual sense but they are beings that are fundamentally different from us and they feel and see the world differently, even being released from the elder brain's control and having some semblance of their old personality and memories doesn't make them just misunderstood humans with tentacles

I would totally kill him, but unfortunately Lae'zel died in my playthrough (the roll for saving her was SO HIGH and I just. decided against savescumming. it is what it is)

And without her my character didn't care enough about saving the githiyanki prince

Maybe next time. And of course another playtrough with a different character, who would stuff all the tadpoles into their brain and become a half-illithid and romance the guy because this is way too amazing not to try

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #playing bg3 #my screenshots #the emperor #txt

[sumaneun-stars]

'Birds Nest'

Pairing. Sunghoon x Fem!reader

Genre. Established relationship, fluff

Warnings. None!

Synopsis. Just a normal day with the love of your life, Sunghoon. He had come back from football, all sweaty and tired- and he got mad that you refused to hug him. But he can't resist those warm hugs you give him as an apology, so he had no choice but to forgive you!<3

A/n. Just a lil drabble because I needed comfort:> (tmi: Zuko is from 'Avatar: the Last Airbender')

Sunghoon had just come back from the football court with the boys. To be honest, you didn't feel empty without him because gosh, he was so dramatic before he left. He kept clinging on to you and whining that he'd miss you, and you found it adorable yet annoying.

So you opened the front door, only to find 7 boys greeting you as if they were drunk. They stayed for a while, had tea and all that stuff. As soon as they went, you saw your boyfriend, spreading his arms- waiting for a hug. As you ran towards him, you stopped midway.

"Oh my gosh- Sunghoon you smell!" You said, backing away.

"But- I want a hug" he pouted.

"Go shower and then I'll hug you"

"But-"

"Go go go" you gestured him towards the bathroom.

You knew Sunghoon got mad for the most unreasonable reasons (which you found entertaining), so you predicted he'd throw the ball he was holding at you. You chuckled as he turned to see if you were alright- only to see his girlfriend raising an eyebrow at him with the ball in her hands.

— — — — — — — — — — — — —

You decided to make ramen for him because- why not? He was your boy so you had to spoil him.

As you washed the dishes, you felt two arms sneaking around your waist. You gave him a peck on his ear as he rested his chin on your shoulder. You reached your hand to caress his hair, but then you found his hair wet.

"Sunghoon, your hair is wet!" You yelled, making his head shoot up in shock.

"Where's the hairdryer?"

"Sunoo borrowed it"

You sighed as you made your way to the bedroom, to take a towel.

"Oh no" he mumbled to himself, looking at you stomping towards him with a towel in your hands.

"Sit" you said. He did, and then you took the towel and started aggressively wiping his hair.

"Ouchhh" he whined.

"My brain is vibrating, it hurts!"

"I don't care if it hurts, I don't want you getting sick"

"That's a myth" he tried convincing you.

"I'm not taking any chances- also, I made ramen for you" His face lightened up as he found his way out of your grasp and ran to the dining table, where his ramen awaited him.

You sat next to him, and asked him about his day.

You looked at him with heart eyes as he explained in detail.

Once he was done, he then remembered that he was supposed to be mad at you. He turned away from you, crossing his arms. You were confused at his sudden action.

"Hoon- what-"

He tilted his head away from you even more; pouting. You chuckled as you gave him the hug he wanted.

"Happy?" you asked once you wrapped your arms around him.

He adjusted himself to make you sit on his lap, his head snuggling into your neck. You two stayed like that for a while, until you felt him yawn in your grasp.

"Are you sleepy?" You asked softly.

"Tired," he mumbled.

"Why don't you get some rest hm?"

"Hm"

You led him to the bedroom and tucked him in, giving him a kiss on the forehead as if he was a child. He gave you a soft smile as you left the room.

— — — — — — — — — — — — —

4 hours passed, and you were watching your all time favorite show when you were a child.

You thought Sunghoon was still sleeping until a figure, hugging a pillow, with a hairbrush in his hand, stood in front of you.

You burst into laughter. He furrowed his eyebrows, confused.

"Y-your hair! It's like a bird's nest!" You said as you gasped for breath.

He rolled his eyes as he placed the pillow on your lap. He lay on the couch, resting his head on the pillow, watching tv as his girlfriend brushed his hair. It was peaceful- until,

"Holy sh- oh my god Zuko!" You screamed in a high pitched voice as the villain of the show appeared on the screen. Your sudden action made Sunghoon flinch in shock.

"Calm down, woman," he said.

"How? Look at him, he's so damn hot!" You replied.

You were too immersed that you didn't realize that you stopped brushing his hair. He sighed as he turned the other way, his head buried in between the pillow and the oversized hoodie you were wearing.

He groaned, in hopes that you would continue brushing his hair. He couldn't believe he was jealous over an anime character. He got an idea though.

He sneaked his hands under your hoodie, raising it a little. He gave you a peck on the abdomen. He knew how weak in the knees you got for this.

You flinched.

He smirked.

"Did I make you nervous?" He asked, his voice now deeper than ever.

"I-"

End.

#enha scenarios #enha x reader #enha fluff #enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fluff #enhypen oneshots #oneshot #sunghoon fluff #sunghoon #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon imagines #sunghoon fanfic #hoon #enha imagines #enha #engene

[unsaidthingsj2e]

that one good cologne, that you bought when we were fighting

Summary : Memories of the night Jude broke up with you are flooding back as you smell his perfume in the bus.

a/n : once again, ignore any spelling mistakes, english is not my first language,

this is inspired by memories by conan gray (<3) and most specifically by the lyrics i put as the title of this fic!!

this is just angst but also i don't know if anything i ever write has any value so don't get your hopes too high, tho i would love to know what you thought ab it!! love ya

It annoyed you, how memory worked. How the sight of a picture, the sound of a melody, the taste of a pastry, the texture of a shirt, the smell of the air would make you remember stuff you tried so hard to bury deep inside your mind.

You hated how it would hit you at the most random moments, taking you by surprise and sending you into memory lane without your consent.

Because you just entered the bus, eager to finally go home after a long day at uni. You had to run in order to catch the bus and not wait for another 10 minutes in the rain. For once, you spotted a free seat that would relieve your back of the heavy weight of your backpack, the bus ride would, for once, not be living hell.

Quickly making your way to the back of the bus where you saw the seat, you sat and sighed, letting the stress dissolve. After taking quick breaths in order to allow oxygen to course through your veins again, it hit you.

You found yourself physically unable to move as the smell of the air hit you. Your brain only took seconds to catch up, pairing the smell of the cologne the guy behind you wore with what you still describe as the worst period of your life.

Too vividly for your own liking, the scene seemed to play in front of you.

You usually weren't the confrontational type, always preferring hiding your feelings deep inside you, convincing yourself you overreacted when something seemed off.

This is something your boyfriend, Jude, made sure to change throughout your relationship. He made sure you knew he would not react like your parents and past partners always did when you brought up an issue.

You loved him, and this part of him, that was making sure you felt safe, was your favorite. He clearly cared for your bond and wanted you to be able to express whatever was on your mind.

Him reassuring you did not make the process less stressful, as you usually fell back into old patterns, but after a year of dating him, you were beginning to get more comfortable at the idea of openly communicating your feelings.

That's how it started.

"Jude? Can I talk to you please?" you said before you could chicken out of this

"Hi love, I didn't know you came home already" he left his spot in front of the TV to come greet you with a kiss, "sure, what's on your mind?"

This display of attention, that became so rare lately, made you pause, wondering if you were indeed making it all up. But when you made eye contact with the boy, you could still see all the space between you two, that wasn't there before.

"Can we go back on the couch maybe? I'd like to be sitting to discuss this" you tried to create an environment that would lessen the pressure on yourself, not trusting your knees not to break right here and there.

You used to be so sure Jude would be your lifeline, having been friends for so long before dating, and now, knowing how good he could treat you as his girlfriend, you could not help but be confused at what he was becoming.

His eyes grew cold and distant, the time he dedicated to you kept on reducing, the affection behind his nicknames seemingly gone. You wondered if you did something to activate this slow and agonizing descent into your personnal hell; a life without him.

You could see worry creeping up in his eyes, vector of so many emotions, or lack of thereof, he could never hide, "Whatever you'd like, is something wrong?" Jude asked.

"Maybe? I don't really know if i'm making all of this up but you're the one that always insisted I don't let myself spiral with my thoughts right?"

"Yeah, always love, I want you to be comfortable around me"

"Okay, uhm, I couldn't help but notice you slowly slipping away? It's just that you're not around as much, you don't seem to long for the physical touch you usually crave from me and, I feel like you don't even care about me anymore, like you've seen all that was to see and you've just grown bored"  you spit out in a single breath, worrying you could change your mind if you didn't say it fast enough.

It's the way the worry in his eyes shifted to a shade closer to annoyance that was the exact reason why you hated doing this, "Hey, I don't know where you think you saw that, but I still love you as much as I did yesterday and all the days before, none of what you said reflects what I'm feeling for you" his honey slicked voice tried to reassure you, but it just didn't seem enough this time.

Engulfing you in a hug to shut down any answer or further explanation you may have had, Jude started kissing your face everywhere he could, "My pretty girl spends her time worrying when she's the only one I see"

You let it slide only because coming up with this took all your energy and you still were unsure whether or not you made everything up,

but the next month just further proved your points

You did try again, multiple times, to bring it up. When you did, he would shut you up with physical attention, hugs that smelled of a new, foreign cologne he bought, and pretty words. Other times, he would straight up avoid the topic. The drastic change in his behavior concerning conversations came with a return of every insecurities he once erased, you stopped trying and just let it eat you from the insides.

A month ago, you had tried to surprise jude by going to his place before he could arrive, and prepare a romantic evening that would serve to cover up your broken relationship. Cooking his favorite meal, baking the desert that he could not get enough of and putting on your guys' favorite playlist, you were happy with your work.

While you were finishing cooking the main dish, your phone vibrated, indicating a new text from your man

"we should talk, come by my place in an hour?"

Not knowing what it could mean nor if you were supposed to reveal your surprise, you did not answer.

10 minutes later, Jude entered his appartement, not expecting to see you here already. You could tell he was about to ask why you showed up so early when he told you to come in an hour before he noticed the music, the smell, the state of the dining table.

"Hi, we should probably talk before doing all of this" he said while gesturing to all the stuff you prepared. the lack of kisses and "thank you"'s were not unusual but still stung as if it was the first time.

"Yeah, sure, what do you wanna talk about?"

"I'll go straight to the point to make it fair to you, because I haven't been. I met a new girl."

Time stopped

"I'm sorry that you were right about all these things you used to hold myself accountable for, but I found myself falling for her and it had to come with putting space between us. I wish things were different but I have to break up with you in order to make things fair for both of us, we just aren't made for each other and it's time we accept it"  he said, still filled with confidence and when you dared to look in his eyes, shades of honesty and the lack of empathy or sadness felt like just another knife being thrown into your back.

He was so convinced he was being the good guy, coming clean and acting as if the relationship was a burden to both of you. You wondered how long he has been feeling like that, what triggered the need to be fair now, when he hasn't been for at least a few months, if he said your accusations were correct.

You felt dizzy, confused, hurt, but neither tears nor words were coming out. You could only bet your face was one of stone, with pain all over it written in capital letter with glittery paint. All you knew was that you had to leave, so you did.

Jude had anticipated the shutting down part, knowing you well enough to know this many emotions and facts to process would send you into overdrive, so he did the talking, "As much as I appreciate you and I always did, I doubt a friendship between us would work again. It would, this time, not be fair to my girlfriend, I'm sure you can understand."

The word girlfriend being used for someone that wasn't you made an unexpected sob rip through your chest. You had an hard time believing the man in front of you was the man that used to be your best friend and lover. Such hard words used carelessly, no matter what you felt was so unusual for him.

That cologne, so foreign, caused an headache. Or maybe it was the wave of intense emotions, the contained tears and the broken promises. You made your way to the door, opening it and freezing.

You considered saying a snarky comment about dinner, attacking him about the trust you had put in him, asking about this new girl, but you just couldn't.

You'd look for closure later, when your mind was not foggy and threatening to shut down as well, but for now it's you leaving the double of the keys he gave you behind. More than a key, it was ornamented with keychains from places you had visited together, mostly places where he played with his team. And the key of the heart shaped locker you two had put on the infamous love lock bridge in paris, when he would insist you keep it instead of throwing it in the water, because you would always be the key to his heart.

All hope of a peaceful bus drive was gone, as you still found yourself glued to your seat, paralyzed by the scent of the cologne.

It caused you the same headache it had back then, accompanied by the tears you had held back when last confronted to this smell.

part 2 right here <3

#jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham

[bubuslutty]

MIKE WITH A PISS KINK PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

tbh I've never really wrote for piss kink before the other post. but I'm exploring and dipping my toes very slowly into stuff (am I being slow? idk? anyway. who fucking cares.)

Mike is a nasty little freak and nobody can convince me otherwise. he likes having some power over at least certain aspects of his life, he likes being in control of things he chooses to control. not like paying the bills and going to work. cuz he has to? to live?

but he can have control over his gf. her body. her bladder. Just because he can.

so when he first was plagued with the image of his gf just pissing on him, his brain chemistry changed and he kind of wanted to make it a reality, trying without freaking his gf out and also without really telling her.

maybe it was him convincing her to let him fuck her when he knew she drank a bit too much water today and felt like going on the middle of him fucking her. maybe he'll let her go, maybe not, maybe he'll ask her to hold it in until he's done, she can wait, right? She can do it, she's a big girl <3

and maybe he'll hold onto her waist, dig his fingers super close to her belly button, press down a bit where her bladder should be in guise of him just holding her up, but really, he just loves her little squeals of panic and flinches, and not once does she tells him to stop, just whines and whines and moans while getting rocked on his cock.

And as soon as he's done and at this point, his baby is shaking and overwhelmed, he'll help her to the toilet, and help her sit and relieve herself while she's still. panting. and he's there, standing over her with a hand on her shoulder, so she wouldn't somehow slip and fall?

he's just a good bf after all, he has to make sure his gf is safe and taken care of <3

and then obviously Mike will take care of her, hop in the shower, wash her body for her and all, dress her up in some comfy clothes and lounge in their bed together <3

perhaps this keeps happening for a long time, his gf needs to go, but he needs her more than she needs to go, and how can she say no to those eyes??? and the cycle repeats until she realises that maybe he really, really, want her to let go.

So it happens then, for the first time, while in the shower, because its the perfect place to make a mess, and it starts off pretty innocent, just showering in silence, together, then washing each other's hair, giggling and slowly getting touchy until her back is to the wall and he's moaning in her neck with the sound of his hips snapping against hers echo in the shower.

And she doesn't tell him she needs to go, she just holds him tighter, wraps her arms around his neck and presses herself closer, he moans, and then he feels something, he's confused at first, terrified that he somehow hurt her because why the fuck is something hot dripping down her thighs, and when the smell hits his nose he absolutely loses it.

"Hah- Had to go, hm? Couldn't hold it in? Hm, baby? Fucked you so good you just-- Pissed yourself? Fuuuuuuuuuccckkk... Yeah. Yeah, you're mine. And I'm yours, yeah?"

his eyes almost roll to the back of his headand his rythm stutters and he snaps them harder, tries to get himself deeper, closer, all the while making the most debauched and pathetic noises he's ever made, he's so unbelievably horny he cums in no time.

and from that day on, everything changes.

#bubuslutty ask #bubuslutty writes #mike schimdt x reader #mike schimdt smut #mike scmidt fnaf #mike schmidt smut #mike schmidt #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt x you #mike schmidt x y/n #mike schmidt x fem!reader smut #mike schmidt x fem!reader

[lauraroselam]

So I wrote this weird book about queer dragons. It came out the same day as the other dragon book everyone talks about. It was a Sunday Times bestseller in the UK, though, which was incredible!

However, I'm not sure how to continue to promote this book--people either seem to really like it, or not quite get it. Or it just wasn't what they expected. Which is fine, no book can please everyone, and I knew I'd made some unusual craft choices that was going to make it more marmite. (Or, as my brain tells me at midnight, I'm just a bad writer). However, there's that librarian saying "every book its reader" and the people who love this book REALLY love it, and that makes me so happy. So I decided to write this post and explain its weirdness and lay out what you can expect if you do pick it up. Maybe you're my kind of odd, too. :-)

Short pitch: 800 years ago, dragons and humans were bonded, then humans were dicks, stole the dragons' magic, and banished them to a dying world. But humans have short memories, forgot, and now worship dragons as gods. The dragon "gods" remember, and they do not forgive.

Thief Arcady steals their grandsire's stone seal (which helps them funnel magic) from their tomb. Their grandsire supposedly released a magical plague that killed a proportion of society, and Arcady is locked out of society as a result. They perform a spell to rewrite the seal to have a new identity as they want to go to university at the Citadel and also clear their family's name. Problem? The spell also accidentally calls through Everen, the last male dragon, trapped in human form. Everen has been foretold to save his kind, and now he has a chance: he just has to convince one little human to trust him mind, body, and soul, and then kill them. Then he'll be able to steal the human's magic back, rip a hole in the Veil, and the dragons can return. Good news for dragons, less good news for humans. As you might expect: this does not go to plan. Because emotions.

Grab it now. (Note: there's still a contractual delay so it's not available in US audiobook yet, annoyingly. Hopefully soon). (If you are like "weird queer dragons?! Sign me up" but aren't interested in hearing why the author has made certain decisions and want to go into the text cold, stop here! Death of the author/birth of the reader, etc. Otherwise, carry on.)

You should pick up Dragonfall if:

You like experimental narrative positions! It's all collected by an unnamed archivist who has access to both first person narratives (Arcady, the genderfluid human thief, Everen the hot dragon) and can scry into the past and draw out third person narratives (Sorin, hot priest assassin. Cassia, Everen's sister, who is also hot. Spoiler: everyone in this book is hot). Then to make it even weirder, Everen's bits are technically in first person direct address, so he's writing it all to Arcady (the first chapter ends with: "For that human was, of course, you. And this is our story, Arcady.") I ended up writing it this way for a few reasons, even though it probably would have been simpler to just stick to straight up third throughout, like most epic fantasy does. The big one is that Arcady is genderfluid and uses any pronouns (I tend to default to they when I talk about them outside of the text), and constantly gendering them in the text felt wrong whether I used he, she, or they. This way bypasses that a lot in the first volume, so it's up to the reader to make up their own mind. I also just really love first person direct address as a narrative position. It can be a little confronting, and it makes Everen the dragon sound a bit more predatory at the start. But it's also quite intimate. Is he writing his sections as an apology, or a love letter? Both? You find out at the end. So if your green flag books are: The Fifth Season, The Raven Tower, or Harrow the Ninth, this might also be your jam.

You love classic 90s fantasy. This is in many ways an homage to all the stuff I read growing up: Robin Hobb and the Realm of the Elderlings (the book is dedicated to Hobb in particular), the Dragonriders of Pern, Tad Williams, Lynn Flewelling, Robert Jordan, Mercedes Lackey, Tamora Pierce, etc. But I wanted to give it a more modern twist. I'm NB and growing up I didn't see a lot of queerness in fantasy, and I clung to the examples I did find (Vanyel, the Fool). Also, not 90s fantasy, but I also freaking loved Seraphina by Rachel Hartman and Priory of the Orange Tree, so those were influences too.

You're not put off by Worldbuilding(TM) and a slower pace. Probably because I grew up on the likes of Tad Williams, I honestly love slow-paced fantasy. I love to luxuriate in a world and take my time getting to know a made up world. In Assassin's Quest it takes over 100 pages for Fitz to leave the forest. Love it. I have a more lyrical writing style, I guess, and I'm pretty descriptive. My stuff always tends to start off slower, set the stage, and then ramps up the pace as we get further along. So yes, my book starts out with some infodumping, depending on your tolerance level of that sort of thing. I worked with a linguist and they made a conlang for the dragon language (hi @seumasofur). There's a map by Deven Rue (cartographer for Critical Role). I got nerdy.

You love queernorm fantasy! This is set in a world where it's considered rude to assume a stranger's gender and so you tend to default to they/them. If you consider someone much higher in status than you, you'd capitalise it to the honorific, such as They/Them. Once you get to know someone, you tend to flash your pronouns to them with a hand signal, since a sign language called Trade is also a lingua franca in the world. 99.95% of all the dragons are also lesbians, BTW. Everen is the last male dragon.

You like frankly silly levels of slow burn. Everen and Arcady can't physically touch without it causing Everen pain while they're half-bonded. They may or may not find creative loopholes. But it's not mega mega spicy, if you're expecting that. I expect the spice levels will gradually go up as the series progresses.

Alright, I think that's more than enough to give you a sense of what you'd find in Dragonfall. If you're open to sharing this post so it reaches more people outside of my little corner of the internet, I'd really appreciate it. Whenever I do any bit of self-promo, I'm always so anxious and worry it'll get like, 2 eyeballs on it anyway or that I'm just annoying people by mentioning that my art even exists. And if you end up liking it, please tell a friend.

I'm loving the recent dragon renaissance! Long live dragons.

#dragonfall #fantasy books #epic fantasy #fantasy romance #robin hobb #farseer trilogy #samantha shannon #the raven tower #priory of the orange tree #micah grey #pantomime #lr lam #laura lam #gay dragons #sexy dragons #I never know what to put in tags #post this before imposter syndrome makes me implode #lgbtqia #pride books #queer books #queer fantasy

[reallyromealone]

I sure can!

You're very welcome!

Also in this Mikey is still friends with his old friends

@kodasstar

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

(Name) was quiet as he sat up front with Takeomi, their son currently getting chewed the fuck out from the rest of the pack as the eldest alpha rested his hand on (name)s thigh, rubbing gently as he drove them home.

"You come from an Omega and yet you disrespect them?! Have we taught you nothing!" Koko said heatedly as (sons name) shrunk more, trying to make himself invisible from his parents lecturing because fuck did it hurt.

They were disappointed and angry with him but (name) still said nothing to him.

That's kind of what terrified the tween the most.

Mama hadn't said anything.

When they got home the alphas led (name) to the sitting area and made sure he was comfortable and smooched his forehead before going to sons room and literally taking everything that could possibly bring him entertainment out of his room as Ran ordered Omega rights books and books written by omegas (basically this universes version on feminist books and women's rights) and Rindō looked up classes that were sure to take up all his spare time outside doing homework "when these books come we want a report on what they were about and what you learned from them"

"B-but--"

"Do you really think arguing with us is the smartest move right now?" Mikey's voice was cold and thankfully (name) was away from earshot.

He knew (name) didn't like that voice even though it's never been directed at him.

Their son shut up at that and just silently fumed at this.

This made him hold a grudge against not just the student but omegas, he didn't understand why omegas were put on a pedestal and why his mama got away with Yelling at his dad's like that.

It didn't make sense for his dumb tween brain.

After all his stuff was locked up in the basement he was sent to his room for the night, dinner would be brought to him.

"Now..." Mikeys voice was soft as the men went to their mate who was fidgeting slightly "why didn't you tell us baby?"

"Which thing"

"Well first the whole Omega thing and then the pregnancy thing preferably" Ran said as they all got comfortable around their mate who looked down "You guys were really busy with that project and I didn't want to add more stress... I chose to stay at home so I could handle this...." (Name)s voice was meek as he avoided eye contact.

That 'project' aka drug trade was six months ago.

"He's been acting like an ass for that long?"

"I-I thought it was a phase ya know? Edgy teen stuff... He's apparently hanging out with these other elitist alphas and I don't know what happened "

The alphas watched (name) crumble and stepped closer "baby no matter how busy we seem you can always come to us... He's our kid too even if he's being a complete dick "

"Speaking of kids, bow long have you known about this one?" Mochi said pointing at (name)s stomach and the Omega blushed a bit "since my doctors appointment two days ago..."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I was already stressed, I didn't know how to bring it up" (name) slowly looked up "I'm sorry alphas..."

"Just talk to us when you're dealing with stuff, ok?"

(Name) just nodded and the alphas were reluctant to let him cook dinner especially after the events that transpired but (name) managed to convince them so long as they could supervise.

They didn't want their pregnant omega lifting anything heavier than an egg.

Dinner took considerably longer with the Alphas trying to help him though none of them could cook by any means.

"I'm gonna take (sons name) his portion" Ran said grabbing a plate and a cup before going to their sons room, Mikey nosing at (name)s neck when he smelt the slight distress coming off him "don't worry baby, we will get him right"

"I just miss my pup..." (Name) mumbled and the family began eating, the Alphas trying to feed (name) more with the new information of a pup on the way.

Ran walked to their sons room, he was still pissed with him.

Treating his dam like that?

The person who loves him unconditionally and would die for him, just to turn around and belittle and treat them like a second class citizen.

Disgusting.

(Sons name) was stewing in his room, doing homework as ran set the food down and stared at him "you know despite your shit show, your dam still loves you" Ran said simply as he looked around his sons room before looking at the tween "even tried to have us go easy on you"

(Sons name) said nothing as he continued working "breaks coming soon, we will decide what you will be doing with your time off"

Ran left without saying anything else, returning to the others and smiling at his omegas much better mood.

When (name) went to bed the men gathered around the sitting room as now they would discuss the real punishment that would come when their pup would be on break.

They loved their kid, thus why they are sending him to work under the most terrifying Omega they all knew outside of (name) when they fuck up.

Nahoya Kawata.

Everyone in the room agreed he was not to be fucked with and maybe a few weeks with him and Souya would prove to show (sons name) that omegas weren't weak and definitely not to be fucked with.

Mikey would be making the call come morning as they went to go change for bed, smiling as they looked at their mate who was snuggled in the Alaskan king bed in one of their shirts.

They stopped buying (name) sleep attire unless it was for non sleep activities.

#tokyo revengers x male reader #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers fluff #bonten x reader #omega male reader #omegaverse

[totally-a-different-person]

Could you do future tomxtordxedd?

Sure why not, also I'm only just realizing this now that I've finished it but I should stop writing smuts that take place in red leader's office, I don't know why it's like my brain's go to every time he's mentioned (nsft past this ploint proceed at your own risk)

Edd scoffed, leaning back "you're kidding." It was an accusation, not a guess. "Why in the world would I ever want to stay with you?" "Because it's that or prison, Edd."

He sounded frustrated, and desperate "I just- I don't understand why we even have to have this debate" the norsk opened his hands, but Edd just rolled his eyes "You're too dangerous to let go, you know that, but please don't make me lock you up. You could rule with me, by my side, imagine the power you'd have, don't you want that?"

"No, Tord... I don't" He looked away, crossing his arms tight over his chest. He didn't even want to make eye contact with Tom. Edd thought he had been killed when he was captured, but he was just like his secretary or something?? Is that what Tord wanted him to do too?

He just didn't understand why Tom wouldn't try to find a way to contact him, or escape, just anything. Tord sighed, putting his hands together again and sitting back in his seat. "Please don't be like this, what can I do to convince you? You can have all the cola you want, you don't have to participate in any of the army stuff if you don't want to"

Edd glared at the ground, no longer really crossing his arms but hugging himself now. Tord was obviously beginning to get frustrated looking at Tom as if asking if he knew what to do. So finally, the tallest of the three did speak up "Ringo can come, and she'll be kept completely safe" "of course! I would never let anything happen to her-"

"I don't want her anywhere near you! She's not coming, and neither am I." Tord threw his arms up "you would rather go to prison than have to work with me!? Even if it meant you could live like a king, you don't care??" Edd felt tears starting to well up in his eyes, quickly squeezing them shut and shaking his head.

Tom seemed to wilt slightly at this, frowning softly and taking a few steps toward Edd and gently putting a hand on his shoulder "hey-" "I just- I don't understand how you can expect me to after everything" his voice cracked slightly. Even after all this time it still felt the exact same to be comforted by Tom as it always had, and for a moment Edd totally forgot he was upset with him too.

"I know it's a lot, and I'm really sorry it has to be like this, Tord's been trying to keep you from getting hurt since he started all of this though, and you keep almost dying because you won't stop fighting back. I told him I wouldn't let him lock you up- but if it's between that or you getting killed I don't have much of a choice" he spoke softly, his voice was a little more horse than it used to be but it was always a bit raspy.

Edd huffed and leaned away from him "You never should have joined him in the first place, I wouldn't be in so much danger all the time if I wasn't alone" he retorted, sort of snapping, but he still just looked sad, and Tom couldn't bring himself to be angry.

"Edd I'm so sorry" he hugged him, which was sort of a surprise, Edd had known the other since sixth grade and could count the number of proper willing hugs from him on one hand. That could have been part of why he was so quick to melt into it, hugging back and burying his face in Tom's shoulder as he sniffled. That or the fact that it was one the first actual conversations they'd had since he left.

Tord watched in silence for another few seconds while Tom squeezed the little brit, letting him cry. "You understand that we just don't want anything bad to happen to you, will you please come with us?" He went out of his way to include Tom that time, since Edd seemed to want him back so bad.

The demon moved away from the hug only by a step so he could speak "I... I don't know..." He seemed very hesitant, but that was still much better than before, and now Tord had an idea.

He got up and came around the desk and Tom took another step back from him so he was just looking at Tord.

"Come here, how about this, ok?" He sort of guided him to stand next to his desk. Edd seemed confused, and even slightly hesitant to let Tord touch him when the man gently grabbed his arm.

At least he used his human one, Edd couldn't help but be relieved. He still wasn't used to the robot one. While he was in thought about that though, Tord simply leaned down to kiss him like it was totally normal and something they had done a million times before. It wasn't though, so obviously Edd was startled and quickly leaned back, but effectively pinned himself between Tord and the desk when the leader just took a step closer as well.

The artist's face was bright red, staring up at him confused and considerably shaken up "what are you doing??" He asked, voice cracking slightly. "Ah, perhaps I should have been more clear"

He said that, but in truth his actions were all very intentional. "If you stayed with us, you could act as our husband, and you wouldn't have to worry about anything else. That would be your job, and I'd do everything in my power, which is just about everything" there was a sort of sick twist to his grin as he said that part "to make you happy here and get you whatever you want"

He leaned in again, not kissing him but getting very close. Edd seemed very very taken back by this. He looked from Tord to Tom, who didn't seem phased. His whole face was bright red and he looked away from them. This was weird... Wrong. He shouldn't be actually considering this, not after everything.

He was just tired, that had to be it. He was so exhausted, the idea of giving in was starting to appeal to him. "You wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore, we'd take care of everything. Wouldn't it be nice to relax?" It was as if Tord had read his mind, gently taking Edd's chin and making him look into his eyes. The shorter blushed deeper, playing with his hands a bit.

"I-I mean... Of course, but I'm not sure..." He mumbled, averting his eyes. Tord smirked a bit "that's fine Edd, how about I show you what it'll be like, and then you can decide?" He placed the robot hand on Edd's hip and glanced back at Tom who nodded.

The brunette seemed a little surprised, cheeks burning deep scarlet "ah... I guess" he spoke softly and Tord grinned "fantastic" he kissed Edd again, moving his hand to cup the boys cheek which was slightly more affectionate than holding his chin.

Edd still seemed sort of hesitant, at first he did at least, though soon slowly melted into it. His lips were so soft, they tasted like cola and cherry chapstick, it was adorable and honestly Tord already wanted to bite and bruise them, but he had to be very careful with how he went about this. So he would wait.

The kiss slowly became heated, Tord pushing his tongue into the boy's mouth and tilting his head slightly as Edd grabbed the desk behind him with one hand, the other holding onto Red Leader's jacket. He was admittedly a little taken back, having thought it would be a simple kiss. He wasn't surprised though, it was Tord after all, he shouldn't have expected anything less. He was more surprised by how good he was, really, the sweet kiss almost left him light headed.

After just another moment Edd would have to pull away, taking a few shaking breaths as he looked away, face bright red. It was embarrassing how much he enjoyed that, the metal hand holding him only slightly tighter as Tord looked to Tom, nodding to the other side of the desk then turned his attention back to Edd, mumbling "come here" as he scooped him up, much to his surprise.

"Hey!-" "Relax." He set him on the desk "Just thought this would be easier if you were a little closer in height, you haven't exactly grown much since I last saw you" the norsk teased with a dark chuckle, pushing some of the papers off of his desk.

Edd blushed a bit and glared at him "well you haven't either, you just started wearing platform boots" he spat back and it actually seemed to strike a bit of a nerve, Tom trying to stifle his own laughter as he gently helped Edd slip his overcoat off.

Tord sighed, his expression of mild annoyance fading as ran his hands up under Edd's sweater, the boy flinching at the cold metal against his soft warm flesh, causing him to shiver a bit, getting goosebumps. Tom leaned in to gently kiss his neck, letting his teeth graze the skin as Edd gasped softly. He hadn't expected it but seemed absolutely fine with it, leaning back slightly to press against him a little better.

Tord watched with a little smirk, the brunette helping a bit as Tord took his sweater off as well as his shirt, just letting them fall to the floor with a soft thud. As Edd was focused on the fact that Tord was letting the robot hand fall lower, down to between his legs. But Tom took advantage of his guard being down and bit into his neck with his abnormally sharp teeth, earning a gorgeous noise that was somewhere between a squeal and a moan.

He was quick to cover his mouth, whole face bright red. Tord laughed and gently moved his hand away, Edd whining a bit. "no no" the taller spoke softly, smirking as he switched the vibrating function in his hand on, which honestly seemed to startle both the other two. He grinned proudly.

"Pretty cool yeah?" Chuckling as he rubbed and palmed Edd's number through his pants, watching him fall apart so quickly, desperately grabbing onto Tom's arms while the man continued kissing and nibbling his neck, licking the fresh bite marks as the sub gave a high pitched moan.

"Wha-what is-" he choked, looking at Tord in confusion and the man just hummed, using his other hand to unzip the boy's pants so he didn't have to stop rubbing him "yeah, made this thing myself and thought it might come in handy" he said it like it was the most simple thing in the world, slipping it into his pants to stroke his member directly, as well as turning the vibrating higher.

Edd gave a loud, broken moan and hid his face in Tord's shoulder. Tom rubbed his sides in a comforting manner as he completely slipped his bottoms off, letting them fall as well leaving the brunette naked. He seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself though, spreading his legs some and trying to rock his hips into Tord's hand as he panted and moaned.

"That's a good boy~" the younger coed as he continued to pleasure his friend, looking down at him lovingly before his eye flicked up to Tom as the man opened up his drawer, getting one of the small bottles of lube the leader kept.

Tord hummed softly and looked back to Edd "hey, I need you to tilt your hips up a bit for me kjæreste" he whispered, watching as the artist took his face from his shoulder, clearly trying to not make as much noise as he had been but Tord wasn't exactly giving him a break. He did as he was told, making it much easier for Tom to access his hole, said man opening the bottle of lubricant as they spoke. "Like that...?"

Tord nodded and kissed his head "yes that's perfect, such a good boy for me" he purred giving his member a little squeeze and turning the intensity of the vibrating up again for a good few seconds as he rubbed the tip with his thumb as a reward for being so obedient.

Edd moaned out loudly as he did, leaning back into Tom and nuzzling into his neck with a whine. He was starting to get close to his first orgasm.

Tom chuckled softly, his eye lights mostly focused on the sweet little brunette's face as it contorted in bliss while he gently pushed two of his now lubed up fingers inside of him, pressing against his walls as he slowly pumped them in and out. The cola lover gave a light gasp before biting his lip to muffle a sweet moan.

Edd was making nonstop noises, slowly increasing in volume and pitch as he continued receiving so much attention, his hips occasionally bucking or twitching, Tom adding another finger. Tord realized he was getting close, and honestly part of him was very very tempted to stop, make him beg for the right to cum, but he had to be patient. Play the long game.

This was about giving Edd exactly what he wanted and making him want to stay. So once he was more comfortable, he could indulge the part of Edd that loved being controlled and dominated, but so much had changed and even if he knew that was still what Edd wanted deep down, he didn't want to try too soon and scare him off.

So he settled for something safer and just as effective in terms of melting the sub's brain. He leaned in to kiss his cheek before nibbling his on his ear a bit, electing a soft shaking breath from Edd, then whispered "go on vakker, I know your close, be a good boy and cum for me~" the leader spoke very sweetly.

He wondered briefly in the back of his mind how many orgasms Edd could take, as well as how many it would take for him to break and want to stay. Hopefully he could find the answers to both very soon.

His words had the exact effect on Edd that he hoped they would, the boy giving a broken whine, shutting his eyes tight and melting into Tom. Tom let him, rubbing his hip sweetly while his other hand pressed into the brit's prostate with three fingers causing him to jolt and cry out as he came on Tord's hand, panting and mewling softly before being kissed again by red.

This time there was no hesitation in kissing back, holding onto his shit tighter he did, feeling the metal hand switch off and let him go. Edd panted softly as the kiss broke, again leaning back against Tom. "You ready dove?" Tom asked softly, eye lights gazing down at him as he nodded pretty quickly.

He kissed the brunette's cheek as he took his fingers back, having him spread his legs as Tord took his belt off. He dropped it and slipped his own jacket off before unzipping his black jeans and taking his already hard dick into his hand, pressing it gently against Edd's hole, watching the sub flush bright red. "Let me know if you need me to stop or slow down, ok?" He whispered softly, Edd nodding in response.

It was sort of embarrassing how quickly he'd fallen victim to their advances, he hadn't meant to at all. It had just... Been a long time since someone else had touched him, he was... Sensitive. It felt so nice, he was ashamed thinking about it, but he couldn't deny that he really really wanted this.

Tord was honestly a little bigger than Edd would've guessed, having to bite his lip a little as it was pushed inside of him, wincing quietly and trying his best to relax. It felt so good to be filled through, even with the slight stretch, he was panting and whining as it pushed deeper.

Tord didn't waste a second, he did initially push inside pretty slow but didn't even slip the whole thing in before pulling back and starting to thrust in and out of Edd, who was now moaning loudly. He would give sweet, very content sounding moans every time it was shoved back inside of him.

Tord wasn't going too fast, but was still thrusting hard, setting a nice rhythm and giving a breathy chuckle as he watched the brunette. "Awe, you like that?~" he punctuated his words with an especially hard thrust causing Edd's voice to break as he quickly nodded, tears starting to well up in his eyes.

"I told you you would," Tord grinned, going faster now as he pounded the shorter "and just look at you, such a good boy, taking it so well~" Edd gasped feeling the leader's human hand take and gently started stroking his weeping cock. He gave a broken moan, cute little dick twitching at the attention, he could feel a second climax building.

"Do you want more baby?~" the norsk purred, glancing at Tom as he did. Edd followed his look and quickly nodded, giving the soldier a pleading look. He seems hesitant though, not sure it was a good idea "I... Don't know, are you sure he can take that much?" His eye lights flicked from Tord down to Edd as he spoke.

Said man huffed softly "I can take it, please Tom?" He begged softly, and Tord was ecstatic.

This was perfect, it literally possibly couldn't be going better. He kept his overwhelming joy to himself, but was very proud of himself and his plan. Tom's face went pink as Edd spoke, the man giving him puppy dog eyes as he leaned into him a bit more. "I guess it'll be alright" he spoke sort of softly, the lights now looking to the side.

"Fantastic" Tord smiled and started thrust again without any kind of warning, making Edd nearly jump out of his skin, surprised moan getting caught in his throat.

Edd could feel his climax rapidly approaching a second time, moaning and whimpering loudly as he was fucked. He could hear Tom fiddling with his jeans behind him as he got his dick out. "I-I'm-" was all he managed to mumble before he came, whining and squeezing his eyes shut tight. Tord didn't give him a break to catch his breath, if anything it felt like he was purposely pushing it deeper.

That wasn't going to be allowed at all once Edd agreed to stay, cumming without permission, but there was time for that later. You have to earn something before you can be in charge of it after all.

Now lubed up Tom grabbed Edd by the hips and positioned himself to start slowly pushing in. Tord did stop to let him, the shortest of the three panting heavily. Tom was even bigger than Tord was, both of them at once left him dizzy as it slowly pressed inside.

It honestly hurt a lot, Edd sort of wiggled as he tried to adjust. Tom very sweetly and gently kissed their sub's neck as he pushed deeper, he whispered "stay still for me Eddie..." The way the brunette squeezed around him was so fantastic.

Finally they were both completely inside of him and it felt so fantastic, it was by far the most he had ever taken at once and it definitely kind of hurt, but he felt so unbelievably stuffed and Tom was pressed right into his prostate. He couldn't even think, just whimpering and panting, giving quiet moans.

Once he was adjusted enough Tord started moving and Tom followed. It was a really weird sensation at first because it was almost impossible to get used to, Tord went right back to plowing him, even harder than before even. Tom on the other hand started fairly slowly, giving long thrusts to give Edd lots of time to adjust to his length.

The artist let his head fall back as he cried out, moaning loudly and arching his back slightly. Tord pushed his legs a bit further, holding the underside of his thighs as he pounded the shorter man who was sobbing at this point just giving little strings of incoherent nonsense and please for more. Tord had been close before but had to stop to let Tom in safely, it only took moments for his climax to build back up, panting as he thrusted, watching Edd melt for them.

It was perfect, he leaned a bit with a wide smirk on his face "you could... feel this good whenever you want," it was a little hard for him to keep a steady voice as he spoke "We'd take such good care of you, just say you wanna stay~" he instructed sweetly, Edd giving a desperate little whine.

"That's a good boy, go ahead and say it. You wanna stay here and be our cute little husband to fuck and use?~" Edd nodded quickly, mumbling "m-mhm!~ I do!~" he moaned sweetly, it was all he could muster.

"Good boy~" Tord grinned, pushing as deep as he could before cumming inside of him, Edd screaming as he was filled, Tom getting hard and faster all the while, he was getting closer to another orgasm himself by the second.

Tom felt a little weird about Tord getting Edd to agree to stay like this, he very obviously wasn't thinking clearly, but he didn't say anything. They could talk about it later.

Edd came again, starting to feel the overstimulation as they continued, starting to feel the dull pain in his hips. They pumped a few more rounds into him, just going until he said he couldn't take any more.

So, Tord had Tom help clean him up, being very gentle with him before calling somebody to come clean up the office. In the meantime they took Edd to their room. Tord has his own bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen that was connected to his office. Tom had his own room that was much nicer than the other soldiers' rooms but it was only a bedroom, and he spent most of his time in Tord's anyway.

They all got comfortable and cuddled up in the large comfortable bed in Tord's room, Edd passing out almost immediately in the warm comfortable embrace of his wonderful lovers, the other two soon to follow.

#sinsworld #sw edd #sw tom #sw tord #sw tordedd #sw tomedd #sw tomtord #sw tomtordedd

[coiled-dragon]

What was your Renfield dream if i may ask, i'm curious now!

Honestly I love talk about it but it feels so fucking silly because it WAS silly it was a dream about a piece of media that I only knew from like two trailers, mashed with the very common theme in my dreams: College.

Thats right, I dreamed a College AU Dracfield. (putting under the cut cause its a bit long)

Literally the premise was that... Renfield convinced Dracula to have them go to college to better learn about the modern age. Dracula had a glamor so he appeared younger and the two of them moved into a college house that had 4 other people living there and did college stuff.

But there was always some mad tension between Renfield and Dracula and their roommates (including one girl that Renfield really fell hard for) were always like 'haha weird but okayyy' and they played it off as being really close family friends. Dracula fucked and ate lots of college guys also. And at one point they would do movie nights and Renfield always suggested various Dracula movies, which Dracula liked cause its an ego boost but also he would get cranky and disinterested when movie Dracula 'died' dfgsghdhfg

In the dream I kept bouncing between being one of the roommates, and being Renfield himself, it was so strange... And I woke up after a very very intense moment in the dream where Renfield was trying to explain to the girl he liked what was really going on, and Dracula was Big Angry about that. Forced him to grovel. In that instant I was Renfield, so I woke up like. Chest aching, and like my forehead was still pressed against the floor after apologizing for almost exposing their secret.

I wrote a little bit of that, the ending part of the dream, but it stuck with me... the relationship they had, a jealous Dracula who didnt care if HE slept around but cared if Renfield had feelings for someone else, the groveling OH the groveling stuck HARD. Thats what started all of this.

I never posted any of the bits of the dream I wrote because like. It'd make no sense without context and idk felt weird to put up. I dreamed an AU of a movie that didnt even exist yet and it gave me such severe brain rot that LITERALLY 4 months later Im still writing them!!! I LOVE IT!

#dracfield #renfield #dracula #anonymous #ask

[merp-blerp]

Some Tincrow Moments From The Wiz Production I Just Saw While It’s Fresh In My Mind

Note: I had never seen the stage version of The Wiz before last night, so I could be missing things and points. Also, my memory might be just a bit fuzzy on exact details, but I know this stuff mention did indeed happen at some point.

Avery Wilson was Scarecrow and Phillip Johnson Richardson was Tinman. They absolutely killed it. Everyone did. I’m going to need a cast album and pro-shot please!

Scarecrow is a dance God once they get him off the poll in time for “You Can’t Win”. Why they kept Michael Jackson on a damn poll in the movie despite the fact that his dance moves would've been really cool for Scarecrow, I’ll never know.

This is the first direct Oz retelling I’ve seen to give Scarecrow a human backstory (Wicked is more of/better off seen as it’s own thing in my opinion). He was once a scientist who got his brain taken by one of the witches and turned into a Scarecrow. I don’t remember if it’s mentioned if he had a family in this show—it might’ve not been—but if he did I guess he would’ve completely forgotten because he “has no brain”. And I might be wrong, but I think it was mentioned he had a name too, but if so I don’t remember it. I find that interesting and fun to play with, especially if one would be able to compare and contrast that with Nick Chopper’s backstory (and/or whatever the Tinman’s name might be in this version of Oz; guy collects names like candy). I would have to see The Wiz again in order to do that myself, but you know, I like the idea.

Tinman’s backstory is slightly different. He was too gay and sassy for his own good, saying one of the witches was a “rusty” singer, causing her to turn him from a lumberjack into a “heartless” Tinman who gradually lost almost all of his memories outside of the mere fact that he once had a family due to this curse. He thinks he doesn’t have a heart because he can’t remember the ones he loved, just that he used to. Nimmie Amee isn’t a part of his story in this show. That’s about as tragic as the backstory Baum gave him, if not worse.

Give me an angst with a happy ending AU where Tinman and Scarecrow knew each other as humans but both forgot due to their curses, only to rediscover each other through their found families. Imagine Scarecrow having Nimmie Amee’s original role in a way—noooo—

Scarecrow mimicking Tinman’s rusty dance moves while they oil him (he mimicked a lot of people throughout the show—Dorothy, the wizard’s announcers calling his name, maybe etc., so I guess it was just his cute little thing).

When Dorothy’s trying to convince the gang to bring Lion along Tinman says “Are you sure? We already have to bring Captain Brainless?” (or something a lot like that, I'm paraphrasing), thinking they had too many already as if his husband wasn't first in line on the journey before him, only for Scarecrow to say, “I’m captain?!?!” *Insert cute happy head waggles* (Hits different when you know Scarecrow becomes the ruler of Oz after the first book till Ozma’s found, but his leadership wasn't mentioned in The Wiz so maybe that's not on purpose) I adore Avery Wilson’s take on Scarecrow. Tinman has always been my favorite of Dorothy’s friends if I had to pick one, but Wilson’s performance really made Scarecrow stand out even more than usual. I don’t know if I can explain it, it might just have to be seen; pray there’s a slime tutorial out there.

Lion’s kinda gay too, but in solo. And I know Ozma’s not here, so there’s not really any evidence for Dorothy’s queerness… but she is—I can feel it in my lesbian soul, okay!?!?

All of Dorothy’s friends not only want their gifts, but don't see the point in their existences without them. It made me sad for them.

I don’t know where to mention it, but Toto’s not in this show at all—poor guy. EDIT: I just learned that in the original production, Toto was played by a white dog as a joke that there was an all-black cast as opposed to him traditionally being a black/brown dog with a white cast. That is hilarious—why didn't they recreate that???

Tincrow’s only straight-feeling moment is with them both being distracted by the poppies (which caught me off guard in this show because traditionally Scarecrow and Tinman are the only ones not affected by the poppies because they’re not flesh and blood like Dorothy, Lion, and Toto; in this Dorothy was the one to break everyone free from them. I’ve been trying to understand the purpose of this change. Maybe to give Dorothy a bit more agency). The poppies were these sensual flower ladies trying to convince the gang to be lazy, which on it’s own is a fun twist on the flowers that put Dorothy and Lion to sleep. But hey, maybe that makes it not straight, just lazy. I'm all for Bi4Bi Tincrow too.

After the Kalidahs attack they comfort and hype each other and Dorothy up (Dorothy’s their sapphic adopted daughter, in this essay, I will—).

I forget when exactly this happens, maybe during the Kalidahs scene, but at one point they casually cling to each other's arms for no(?) reason. They just met and they’re already married.

Scarecrow backup-singing a little before everyone else joins Tinman during “What Would I Do If I Could Feel” (at least at my showing, I don’t know if this is a regular occurrence as a part of the show or just something that happened to happen at mine).

Making fun of the Wicked Witch together, calling her smelly, and having Lion join in. Bros, that’s what got you in trouble to begin with—messing with a dang witch!

Interestingly, the idea of Dorothy’s friends having they’re gifts all along isn’t here. Instead, it’s implied that after they kill the last wicked witch the curse is mostly lifted, with Tincrow’s gifts returning to them, but they stay a scarecrow and tin-man for some reason. I like to think they still had them all along though, that idea’s too cute and sweet for me to let go of.

The last time we see them they leave the stage together, Lion going ahead of them to reunite with his mom. I can’t explain why this feels important to me. I guess because usually characters exit the stage individually as like a goodbye queue to the audience, knowing that that last step off the stage will detemand the last impression of the characters. So the fact that the last impression of both of them is them together feels special. Or maybe it’s just me.

They both had such sassy black queer vibes the whole time. The show itself already has such sass, but both of them, Scarecrow especially, were oozing it in different fonts. They were giving off bear x twink—or maybe otter couple vibes.

Gay or not, The Wiz is so great! I recommend it so much!

#the wiz #the wonderful wizard of oz #the wizard of oz #tincrow #tinman #tin man #tin woodsman #scarecrow #l frank baum #avery wilson #phillip johnson richardson

[aidansloth]

Corroded Coffin Living Together Headcanons

a/n: I thought about this so much, it has occupied my brain indefinitely. By this title I mean that they are living in the same apartment and some of them are going to work and some to college and stuff (they're in their early 20s)

the times they've forgotten that one of them is taking a shower and walked right in on them are countless

"hey Gareth, did you happen to see the red blank- OH MY GOD I'M SORRY"

"EDDIE HOW MANY TIMES DID I TELL YOU TO KNOCK"

they have their fun

movie nights are a must

before living together they had constant sleepovers (talked about this with @spookyscarydemonbabe , go check out their posts!) but now, they can have them everyday!!!

though it's not everyday because they also have jobs and stuff to do, they are very frequent

no matter if they're touring with the band or if all have their individual jobs to put them through college or even a stable job (mechanic!Eddie and History Professor!Gareth 👀), they find time to spend together

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE CONSTANT MUSIC IN THAT APARTMENT

all of them playing different metal songs from their individual rooms at full volume

or even when they hear one of the others listening to something they know, they start screaming the song with them through the door

then the other responds by singing even louder

and at that point they just burst right through the door

I'm convinced they share clothes and jewelry/accessories and I will die on that hill

"Grant, I swear to god did you steal my pirate necklace again?" "No, I borrowed your pirate necklace again."

Gareth finally teaches Eddie how to take care of his curls properly

I'm sure Gareth has a lot of knowledge on hair care and skin care routines (just self-care in general) from all those teen magazines his little sisters read with him

now he's using his knowledge for a greater good

at first when they move in they're short on money, so they start decorating it and making it more metal by crafting things (mostly DIY stuff)

stuff like, they painted an old wooden shelf they thrifted black and drew DND dice on it, or getting

if something breaks Eddie and Gareth are the ones to fix it

if it's something like a lightbulb then it's Gareth. but if the freezer broke, it's Eddie's job (appliances breaking were a frequent thing for him at the trailer so Wayne taught him everything he knew)

Jeff is the first to scream at the sight of a bug

Grant ignores Jeff's screams as Eddie tries to save the bug from being killed by Gareth

in the end the bug is safely put on the balcony for it to fly away, with a pouting Gareth and a nearly-had-a-panic-attack-over-a-bug-and-now-checking-every-corner-of-the-house Jeff

if one of them takes someone home after and they're still there the next morning, they are all very respectful

Jeff and Grant are even making everybody breakfast (Eddie can't cook for shit and Gareth can only bake)

sure it'll be a bit awkward but they're good at small talk, and if their friend liked this person they can't be all that bad can they?

I'll take a moment to say I kind of headcanon all of them as bisexual

maybe Jeff has a preference for women and Eddie for men

now, their normal mornings

if this apartment has 4 different bedrooms I'm guessing it's going to have 2 bathrooms

the whole morning is everybody shouting at everybody to get out of the bathroom because they have to get ready

since Gareth taught Eddie how to take care of his hair, he's taking hours in there

Grant is very close to smashing down the bathroom door every morning

Jeff is the best at cooking so he makes breakfast for everyone, if he's not there then Gareth's making pancakes

Eddie would probably just eat cereal out of the box, so any other thing is luxury (same honestly)

Grant is very picky about his breakfast, he needs some protein in there or he'll be without energy for the rest of the day

on that note, the coffee drinkers are Eddie and Jeff, while Grant and Gareth prefer tea

Gareth says he has enough energy from his ADHD

they all have their own slippers, all funny ones with animals and characters (yk the ones with Homer Simpson's face? yeah, like that)

they also have tons of mugs, which are a frequent gift from Wayne (yes he gives presents to all of them for their birthdays and Christmas, he's very grateful that his kid has such amazing friends)

Modern!Corroded Coffin would share a Netflix account

they SAY they watch horror movies but in reality they're watching all the kids shows, like How To Train A Dragon, My Little Pony and Pokémon

even all the Equestria Girls movies, they know all the songs by heart, especially the ones from Rainbow Rock, 'cause yk, the battle of the bands

Gareth has a crush on Astrid (don't we all)

all of them still get advent calendars (full knowing that it's a marketing scheme) and in the morning they all open theirs together

I can't even imagine them during covid quarantine, secluded in one little apartment for the four of them

they would probably have started killing each other

their couch is probably filled with food crumbs, since they often eat on it

some stains too, from spilled sodas

maybe ripped a bit, but it's theirs so it doesn't matter

Grant reminds Gareth to take his ADHD meds because he has the best memory out of the 4

they probably caught Eddie taking a dic pic for Steve☠️

they have videogame nights

because the four of them are already there, most Hellfire nights are hosted in their apartment, meaning they have to hear Steve (Dustin and the others' ride) complain about the mess all the time

pretty sure Erica's also complaining

none of them have ever bought a calendar so they never know what day it si, they just turn on the TV to know at this point

having said that, they also never find the remote

"EDDIE WHERE DID YOU OUT THE FUCKING REMOTE?" "I PUT IT RIGHT THERE ON THE SOFA." "THEN WHY IS IT IN THE FUCKING SHOWER?"

they have treasure hunts every night, they also make a game out of it

whoever finds it first gets to eat most of the microwave popcorn

I'll probably make a part 2 to this in the future, I have SO MANY IDEAS

#gareth emerson #gareth emerson headcanons #hellfire club #corroded coffin #stranger things headcanons

[x-authorship-x]

You know, weirdly, the JA books never actually bring up the attachment thing. That's something that's more in the movies, and perhaps not so weirdly only aimed at Anakin (which does suck for him, because he didn't really understand it and no one explained it in a way that made sense, leading to even more communication issues), but no in the books they like actively push Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon to bond and whatnot. It's just that Qui-Gon has a lot of guilt/shame/trauma from Xanatos - which Obi-Wan purposefully triggered twice at one point, oy vey, but that book was it's own special brand of crazy - and Obi-Wan was burned by being sent to Bandomeer and was given some self-esteem issues as a result. He also has a hard time reading Qui-Gon sometimes, especially at first. So the emotional constipation is all their own lol. And it does get a lot better over the course of the books, too. They learn to read each other, but it's kind of a slow process.

A lot of Obi-Wan's rollercoaster childhood stuff was pretty beyond anyone's control too. He's such a danger magnet, I swear to god. You leave him alone for like five minutes and he's being kidnapped or joining a cult-like militia or getting attacked by people they thought were trustworthy. Qui-Gon at first does tend to leave him alone in some place they think is safe (or safer than where he's going at any rate), but after a few missions he's practically ready to attach a child leash to Obi-Wan just so he's always in grabbing range lol. Obi-Wan's also really stubborn, which is not always a great mix when people are like "please stay where it is safe, we're literally begging you", and he's like, "no :)" lol. This seems to follow him to adulthood too, in the movies, so I imagine Anakin's padawan-ship (and Cody's entire stint as his commander, r.i.p.) was pretty similar lol, just marginally safer because he's the one on rescue duty. Obi-Wan's saving grace a lot of the time is his ability to make friends really easily, and they often come to his rescue when a jedi can't. All of which is fun, because that means there's so much hurt/comfort potential!

Oh yes, they definitely need so much therapy. Like individually and as a pair. Even a dose of plot-convenient truth serum would do, frankly. So much could be cleared up so fast if they just talked to each other. But that's pretty much par for the course when it comes to most media featuring communication issues, I think. Thank god Inoichi is like, emotionally healthy and pushes Shisui to be too. You have no idea how relieved I was when like Inoichi took one look at Shisui in No Tomorrow and immediately knew he needed help and was ready to give it. It pretty much instantly sold me on their relationship, ngl

(Also, you're totally fine, I wasn't complaining I was just like, I need to make Torship knows, you know? Like at least 95% of fandom who write about Obi-Wan's childhood stuff haven't actually read the books they're talking about, they get what they know from other fanfics, so it tends to be a weird echo chamber that doesn't match up to canon. Which is a shame in this case, because those books are so fun and add so much to the characters, and would add a bit more variety to what I typically see. But you actually like parent-child bonding stuff so my very tired brain was convinced you Needed To Know and got excited to talk about it. Which is also why these have both been so long; I never get to talk about this stuff and am kinda infodumping at you, my bad 😅)

Hahaha your tired brain was right, this is super interesting! I'm gonna go hunt down found family qui-gon-obi-wan fics now...

Obi-wan is so willful and his luck is just comical 🤣🤦

("which obi purposefully triggered twice" oh for gods sake they all need rattled 🤦🤦🤦)

The whole reason I even picked Inoichi to mentor Shisui (just a name-drop back in 2019 for In The Eye of The Beholder) was because I asked myself 'who would they trust to monitor a ticking time bomb?' And the answer was immediately 'interrogation therapist'... Inoichi's decision to do that by gentle parenting was just natural lmao honestly one day I WILL write a inoichi and Shisui master-padawan fic just for the sheer comedy of Inoichi showing everyone else how it is DONE 🤌👏

Also I am... aware that I'm focusing on a fandom that 95% of my followers/readers probably aren't interested in so there's not a lot of activity on that front, plus I don't have any mutuals to talk about SW with so... info dump away, anon! This is nice :)

(I like reading info dumps anyway, haha, I'm the kinda person who tries to get people ranting about their interests on purpose :) )

Thanks for all this really cool insight, have a great day/night ✨

#torship #torship talks #ask #anon #star wars #qui gon jinn #qui gon and obi wan #obi wan #inoichi dad and Shisui son

[truckstoptigers]

i was four. i was only four. within that exact same year we met, he started molesting me. i know it was to get me used to it, to convince me it was fine, and i was fucking four so i didn't know any different. i'm sure on some level i thought it was weird that my mom didn't do that also, bc he would tell me it was okay since he was my dad, but i never said anything. i was only four. what the fuck else could i do?

then i turned five and everything got worse. sometimes the touching hurt, when he would do it too much, but it was nothing compared to what 2006 brought me. he raped me for the first time when i was only five years old, IN HIS BROTHER'S FUCKING HOUSE. while we were VISITING. THEY WERE HOME. but he told me it was okay, i was supposed to bleed, it was supposed to hurt; it meant i was doing it right. it was just a game, and i was winning, he said.

when i turned six, that was the first time he ever drove me to another man's house and left me there, but i figured out real quick what the purpose was. 2007 was the year he started trafficking me on top of molesting and raping me himself. my brother's mom never asked any questions, never asked me what happened while i was gone, let alone where i had gone. no one, when i was with my father on his weekends, cared enough to think it was weird. how could they not, though? i would come home limping, bleeding into my underwear (not that anyone else knew that), quiet & withdrawn. i cried a lot. i hid a lot. i just don't understand how nobody thought anything was wrong.

it was not the first time.

and the abuse went on for nine years in total.

i have had my father try to drown me - or, at least, enough to incapacitate me so i couldn't fight back (he told me "just remember what i could do if you get any ideas about telling"). i have had a grown man hold a knife to my throat and tell me that if i misbehaved, i wouldn't even have time to scream, he'd slit it so fast. i have had another chain me to his bed and tell me that god must have put me there in his bed, it was meant to be - i was unconscious at first because of being drugged but i woke up "just in time," as he put it. i have had men wrap their hands around my throat and squeeze, just to scare me but sometimes they'd do it until i passed out. i have had a man force me to wrap my mouth around the barrel of a gun, telling me it would only take a twitch of his finger to send a bullet through my brain. he then held it to my head while he raped me. i thought, for sure, that i was going to die that day. i knew by then that you don't mess around with guns for a reason; that only made it more terrifying. i knew, just like with the knife, that these things were not toys.

there's worse details i could give, but i don't think i can bring myself to do it. typing even just this much out was so hard. i keep trying to grapple with the brutality and violence of it all, but how can i? i was under ten years old for a lot of the stuff here. i was scared. i didn't want to die, and i didn't want anyone i loved to get hurt because they threatened me with that, too. i was so fucking scared all the time. it breaks my heart to think about it now. i really do wish i could go back and at least hug that little girl. i spent so long thinking i could easily lose my life whenever it was my father's weekend - now i tell my family i love them multiple times in a row because there was once a time i thought i'd never get the chance again.

it's so heavy, trying to carry all of this. especially since i've been doing it mostly alone (grandma knows some things) since i was four. i don't know what else to do here if not vent about the things that are bothering me. it does help a little bit, but not enough. not in the way i need. that's why i'm getting ready to get back into counseling.

it just fucks me up thinking about how my father had a very specific timeline for it. i don't know how else it'd be in perfect increments of one year. he planned it all out. he literally had a fucking game plan for ruining my childhood. that was how much it mattered to him.

i didn't get to be a child and now i don't feel like i'm as grown up as i should be at 22 years old.

#im so fucking tired lol im sorry #milo murmurs #csa vent #tw csa vent #csa tw #drugging tw #tw drugging #ask to tag #this blog is like a journal to me but i still feel bad abt how. graphic it is sometimes

[yourlocaldisneyvillain]

reading that darkfic was... uncomfortable

there were times where I had to put my phone down and come back to it because I've had nightmares about being in almost that exact scenario with a chemistry teacher from my high school (nothing happened between us at all but my brain still conjured stuff that made me want to drop the class)

of course it doesn't compare to actually experiencing something like that but man, the way you wrote made me feel just... icky

it's also so interesting to see the perspective of someone who was abused and taken advantage of having the same urges despite the fact that they very clearly do not want to, all because they were taken advantage of when they were most vulnerable and felt they could only find solace in the one person who was so cruel to them

i most likely won't read it again but I am very glad I read it the first time, not only because I absolutely love your writing but it also sheds light on very real things that happen in the world that a lot of people either ignore or just don't know about

again, keep up the amazing writing and I will be eagerly awaiting the next fic you throw our way

hi! thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your thoughts! i really appreciate it. this was an important fic for me and i put a lot into it, so i'm very eager to hear people's impressions.

this was, in many ways, a very personal story for me. i wrote most of it based on my personal experience. not to go into too much detail, but i was in an ongoing abusive situation (a teacher i was close with) since i was 14 to when i was 21. so a lot of larissa's experience and how i describe both the abuse she endured and that she is tempted to engage in, and their conversation in the nursing home, etc... those were all just things from my past puzzled together and made a bit more Poetic and adapted to the story.

i think that people who haven't experienced such complex abuse oftentimes think victims of abuse can sort their experience in a neat category in their brain that says "Bad" and have no positive experiences with their abuser. but that is, most often, not the case. very often those are the deepest and most meaningful relationships victims have had at that time period of their life and, sometimes, all love and affection they have ever known. even if they *know* they don't want anything sexual with them, they simply justify it as the price to pay for affection and attention they deeply crave and desire, since usually with anyone they've ever known there was a price to pay for love.

i sort of woke up from a Trance lol when i was 21 and i just left. i texted my abuser and told him never to return to my place again, without explanation, because i *knew* i couldn't face him at that time and he would convince me to stay. he never came again. but afterwards, i had such a horrible crisis, after so many years of abuse, and i was just so confused as to why it was happening (well, he's gone now? what's the problem?). and one of the thoughts that was plaguing me is.... what if he chose me because we are similar, as that's what he often said? and i just thought that now, after a couple of years have passed, that's an interesting concept to explore in fiction. i have definitely felt like my body and my mind were nor mine at the time, like i was literally possessed. and i thought that would translate really well to sort of psychological horror/body horror in this story. my body was betraying me in so many ways, and it took such a long time for me to feel like it is mine again (one of the reasons i am so passionate about and interested in sex and erotica).

i just had so many thought about this topic that i had nowhere to put, and i feel i have put Most of them but not All of them into this piece of writing. personally, i think it's important to read about things that make you uncomfortable and that happen in real life if you are at a place in life where you can psychologically handle it.

this turned out to be me sharing very personal things about myself, but i figured it's vague enough that i could. this story is so important to me.

thank you for sharing your thoughts. <3 have a lovely day

#i got an ask! #inevitable tag