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#I'll delete this later I'm just super excited!

rubeau-art · 27 days

Text

I have been waiting to send a package for 1000 years since the post kept eating small mail...

But all the pieces are in. The stage is set! YOU'RE GOING TO GET WHAT'S COMING TO YOU, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE-

#I'll delete this later I'm just super excited!#I am threatening you with a good time

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 months

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Aita for lieing to my mom for 6 years about a guy I dated?

🤐🇮🇪 <- so I notice me. This sounds bad but all things considered, i think I'm justified at least.

Tw for domestic abuse, physical abuse, fighting and non-explicit mentions of many other forms of abuse.

So in 7th grade grade I (12/13f at the time) was dating a guy named Jay(13/14m at the time)(not his real name and we were in the same grade) for about three months. I had a crush on him for years before we dated so I was ecstatic when he finally asked me out. Looking back now at 22, I can see he pitied me as i was very unpopular and no one wanted to be around me due to the fact I was very nerdy and very autisitc(I have a mental disability). He used me for sexual things and it wasn't super healthy but I was just happy to be getting attention as neither my school nor home life was safe from abuse/bullying.

Towards the end of those three months, an incident occured. Me and Jay were working on a mutural computer lab project that should of only tooken a week but the day we were set to start, jay had iss (in-school suspension. I don't know why). I needed his choice for a song because the project couldn't start without choosing it and he wasn't texting me and was being petty and whiny about it. Finally he picked some pop 2010s song and I got started. He was in the suspension for half the week so I was the one who did a majority of the project.

When he finally came back, he was being demanding and a jerk and I said fine, I'll do my own project and you can do yours, I wanted to do firework by katy perry anyway. He then demanded my part of the project since I wasn't doing that song anymore and I told him no and when he demanded it again, I deleted it infornt of him. Typical preteen arguments right? Well he slapped me. In front of all of his laughing friends. He'd never done that before and even though I had previous experience with physical abuse(a few instances with my dad but my mom didn't see it till much later after this incident. This is important.), never from a partner.

I don't remember too much as I saw red and reacted before I could think but I do remember ripping him out of his chair, throwing him on the floor and punching him in the chest and face a few times while his friends cheered me on in surprise. I was an average height but underweight and he was both taller than me and almost 300 lbs but it felt so easy. Once I was done I got up, told the teacher I was doing it on my own, aced the project while he failed and none of my bullies ever tried to physically fight me again. I went from nerdy shy weird pushover girl to scary strong weird girl and I'm ok with that. He hit first.

Even though we eventually broke up, we made up and it was something we joked about together as i didn't realize how serious that was at the time. But my mom did realize how serious it was and tried to explain to me how bad that was, that I should never let a partner hit me and she never wanted to see me talking to him again. She was being responsible but I was 13 and riding off the excitement of showing a guy I liked what for that we dated again not a month after we broke up. Except this time I wasn't dating Jay Lastname, I was dating "Sean mcduffin" or at least that's what i called him around family and because my mom never saw or met jay, she didnt recognize sean.

Our second time around only lasted another three months before we broke up and we're friends all through the rest of our school years, never more, but my mom still called him Sean because we'll.. I told her that was Sean and I couldn't back out now. I'm gonna shift gears for a second so stick with me.

I had gone through two extremely abusive relationships back to back from one in sophomore year (sexual and emotional abuse) and one in senior year (sexual, physical, religious and emotional abuse) and my mom didn't learn until a year later after I graduated. After my mom learned about it and the extent of the abuse with my father, she helped me heal and eventually started asking questions about the relationships and my dad and I answered her as were the closest weve ever been. She off handedly compared the one in senior year to the incident with Jay and then said how happy i seemed with Sean right after made her relax and hope i wouldnt be in another abusive relationship and it hadn't hurt me too badly.

I then realized I had never explicitly told her Jay and Sean were the same person and I had lied to her when I said they weren't (she had suspicions but never proof and trusted me). So I told her they were the same person and she got this very defeated look on her face. I apologized as I realized that was kinda shitty of me because my mom was just trying to protect me but I can also see why a 13 yr old who grew up in parental abuse wouldn't nessesarily take domestic abuse seriously. She just signed and said she wishes I was honest and I shouldn't of lied about it because it was serious. I explained my side but we eventually just moved on to talk further into our initial topic and she's not brought it up since.

I can see where I was the little 13 yr old asshole but I can also see why I wouldn't of taken the lie as seriously as I should due to my history. He never hit or hurt me again and I never heard of him doing it again so I guess i desuaded him from a life of abuse. Idk. Was I the asshole? Me and him don't talk anymore and since getting therapy, I've realized what a shitty person he was to me before, during and after our small relationship.

(small context: we were school friends only, he never really came over to my house or met my family more than once the second time we dated and I didn't talk about him as much after the second break up due to my focus on friends shifting from school friends to my girl scout troop. We were inseparable in school but outside of it, we rarely spoke.)

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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nakanotamu · 1 year

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good day madam, i am a hungry lesbian in need of your gayest wresting moments. can you spare me a cup of gay?

Anon you have come to the right person. Everything's been leading up to this. This is what it's all been for. This will probably be long.

Anon I got so excited about this I even solicited my friends for THEIR gayest moments so I'll do those first. You were recommended:

Mahiro Kiryu briefly getting a takarazuka gimmick in TJPW's Hyper Misao produced show HYPE

Giulia vs Konami from the 5 Star GP 2021, which was described as "the first match I remember watching and going OH MY GOD KONAMI AND GIULIA ARE FUCKING", and their feud did later give us a promo where Konami was like "Hey Giulia, you know how I bully you and you like it?" and Giulia was like "Ahaha, yeah?" and Konami was like "Well that's basically our entire relationship, so there you go." She did have examples.

pretty much anything with Raku/Pom Harajuku/Yuki Aino in TJPW, who my friends have lovingly dubbed the Pomycule

Okay enough from them though. You didn't ask them, you asked me and I asked them. Now for the me. I think it's important to note as well, anon, that not all of the gay shit in wrestling happens in a match, or even in the ring. Sometimes it's just shit on social media, a lot of the time it happens at press conferences, you must maintain constant vigilance. Anyway.

Whatever the fuck Syuri and Utami have going on, which I wrote about here.

There was the time Himeka kissed Syuri last year

There was Komomo enjoying getting beat up by Saki Kashima a Little Too Much, which I wrote about here.

There was the exchange between Utami and Syuri at the press conference for Stardom Gold Rush last year

There was Tam Nakano starting an entire faction to, in her own words, surround herself with women with big boobs (their focus has since shifted)

There was AliKaba, the tag team of Giulia and Syuri, which was basically just one long enactment of gay longing from Giulia

There was the time Giulia posted this picture with the caption ^-^ and then deleted it

There was the time FWC, the tag team of Hazuki and Koguma, spent 5 hours in the bath together (sadly they just talked about that I don't have pictures)

another time FWC both got matching bruises at the same time, and then later confirmed that yes they got them together. In the bath again

There were both Cosmic Rules matches at Stardom in Showcase 1 & 2 which I unfortunately don't have any great screenshots of but I'm positive were inspired by lesbian porn

There are constant small exchanges like this that don't even have a lot of context they just happen all the time

There was the time Hikari Noa had a hardcore match against Nao Kakuta and after they did this

There was the time Mina Shirakawa spat on Saya Kamitani and then licked her face

There was this shit in Act Wres Girlz, which for the record kind of depressingly does not do gay stories super frequently but has legitimately I think the highest percentage of out wrestlers I've seen in any company

There was the brief Tam Syuri feud which shockingly somehow did not involve anyone kissing but had the vibe that they were kissing mentally the entire time

There was every single exchange Tam and Natsupoi had before they realized they were still in love with each other but ESPECIALLY their cage match

And, for my money, the gay moment that lives the largest and dearest and most bittersweet in my mind was when Tam and Unagi had their singles match as part of the 5 Star GP last year, which was, unknown to us at the time, something of a farewell tour for Unagi before she went freelance, where afterwards they hugged in the ring for two minutes and then kissed.

I'm gonna cut myself off there but trust me I could go on and on and on for way too long but that's why I think you should watch for yourself. Wrestling is always moving and new gay stuff is always happening. In conclusion,

#long post #sorry I have low energy so this is just a shotgun blast of content rather than like real curation or explanation lol #I hope it works anyway #my magnum opus

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the1975attheirverybest · 1 year

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(Cabin) Pressure

A/N: This is probably unnecessary and super indulgent, lmao. I just have this impossible urge to baby him, OKAY? he's so....UGH!! anywaysssss!!! As requested by quite a few of you, here's part 2 of the flight one-shot. on a scale from 1 to absolute dumpster fire, lmk how bad it is, lol. Honestly I’m so conflicted about posting it, I might end up deleting later. AND YES SMUT COMING TONIGHT, I PROMISE. Just can't be writing smut at work in case one of my students comes to my office.

Read Part 1 here.

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, depiction of panic attack.

----

The guys hurried ahead to give her and Matty some privacy. She felt Matty's hand stiffen in hers as soon as he watched the automatic doors of the Departures Terminal open and his bandmates walk right in. He swallowed the lump in his throat, his breathing quickened.

She squeezed his hand, drawing his attention back to his body. "Hey," she looked up at him. "You're gonna be alright, yeah?"

Matty gave her a weak smile, nodding slowly. He wasn't sure he believed her. He wanted to. Desperately. But he couldn't control it. It was like his body reflexively reacted to his surroundings before his mind could step in and control how he felt. He could physically sense the tension seeping into his body, right on cue.

"Well, shall we?" he turned to her.

"No pressure. Take as long as you need. We've got time. We'll go in whenever you're ready."

"But the lads-"

"Matty, look at me...there you are. We'll catch up with them at the gate, yes? It's okay." Her free hand moved to touch his face, the sensation grounding him.

"Right, sorry, I'm being silly." he smiled timidly. "Okay, think I'm read. Let's do this."

"Lead the way."

She kept her eye on him as they made their way through the airport, watching his body for any signs of stress.

Matty stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he saw the airline counters at the end of the hall.

"Fuck! My passport! Don't think it's in my bag! I don't remember seeing it-"

"Oh, god, sorry! I- I took it." she winced and looked apologetically up at him. "Sorry, I- uh, I thought if I kept track of the tickets, paperwork, and passports it...would give you some wiggle room so you didn't have to worry about sorting that stuff out...It's all with me! I have them here..."

To her surprise, and relief, Matty burst out laughing. "I think by thinking so hard about not panicking, I'm startin' to stress myself out. Alright, deep breaths."

She watched Matty close his eyes and take two deep breaths. Inhaling slowly, then opening his eyes as he exhaled.

"Okay, I'm all good now." He smiled, genuine this time. "And, thank you, baby, that was really kind of you to do." He dipped his head down to give her a quick kiss.

She rummaged through her bag, pulling out their documents as they approached the counter. "I can do it if you'd like..."

"No, it's okay. Think I can handle this. But, umm, keep holdin' my hand?" He blushed as he heard his own words leave his lips.

"Of course. I'm right here. All the way until security physically separates us."

***

With check-in and security now behind them, they wandered the airport in search of their gate, and the rest of their group. Matty seemed to relax a little, so she took the chance to suggest breakfast.

"Hey, wanna go over there and get something to eat?" she point towards the express version of some chain restaurant.

"Too anxious to eat. Afraid I won't be able to keep anything down."

"Please, baby? the nausea's probably worse when you're operating on an empty stomach. Let me buy you a little snack? you don't have to eat it right away..." She noticed Matty's attention shift from her gentle pleading to something else, something right behind her. "What're you looking at?" she frowned at the faint smile on his face. Turning around to check what was behind her, she saw a pair of young women, roughly in their early 20s, eyeing him hesitantly and struggling to contain their excitement.

"do you mind waitin' a bit? Think I'll go over there."

"Matty, are you sure? You know you don't have to do that if you're not feeling it."

He rolled his eyes. "C'mon, my love. Put yourself in their shoes...you're tellin' me that if we bumped into, I don't know, Harry Styles, right now, you wouldn't go up to him to say hello?"

She giggled and shook her head. "I- I wouldn't expect HIM to be the one to come to ME."

"Oh, so now you're telling me that, if Harry Styles were right here, right now, you'd actually have the courage to go up to him yourself?"

She couldn't help but smile. At least, the fact that he took the opportunity to tease her about her celebrity crush was an indicator that he was in a good enough mood. "Alright, let's go say hi." She relented.

"I appreciate you watching out of me." He placed his hands on her cheeks, kissing her, and giggling against her lips bit at the sound of the girls squealing behind him before he went over to greet them.

He sweetly introduced himself as Matty and gave each woman a hug, whispering "nice to meet you, Darlin'" as he pulled them in. He signed the backs of their itineraries, agreed to FaceTime a friend, and stood for pictures with them.

"Do you wanna take it or do you want me to take it? Actually, you know what? My girlfriend, here, can take it...Babe?" He gestured for her to come closer, "do you mind?" handing her the girls' phones.

"See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer and whispering in her ear as they walked away, waving the girls goodbye and wishing them a safe trip.

"I never said it would be bad! I was-"

"Just trying to take care of me, I know." He kissed her cheek. "But I'm okay. Really. Cuz I've got you."

***

The flight seemed off to a good start, with her and the guys taking turns at sitting with, and distracting, Matty from his thought spiral. Take off was a bit rough for a moment; he visibly broke a sweat and almost crushed her hand in his while the plane settled into altitude. She quickly brought him back the a calm enough state after that, though. They argued over which film to watch, eventually agreed to each watch their own choice, before Matty petulantly abandoned his screen and begged to watch whatever she was watching instead. This, of course, meant that she had to pause and explain the plot to him, bring him up to speed. She pretended to be annoyed with him, but secretly, she was glad for it because, the more that she actively participated in distracting him, the less likely it was that he'd let his mind wander and start overthinking.

Her plan seemed to be working, until it wasn't. 7 hours into the flight, Matty's senses were overwhelmed. He could no longer block the anxious thoughts away by steering his attention towards her, his friends, or whatever forms of entertainment were available to him. He even got out his laptop, tried to do some work to keep his mind occupied, but as time went on, his anxiety sucked more and more of his energy, until his will inevitably weakened, and he succumbed to the catastrophic thinking...

His eardrums pounded with the sound of his own heartbeat, the sounds of his surroundings being reduced to a faint, persistent whisper. He felt the air get sucked out of his lungs, panting and sweating as his eyes scanned the tight quarters. The voice inside his head screamed for him to leave the airplane, but he was aware enough to know that it was physically impossible to escape. Both sides of his brain locked in an impossible battle, the result was a near-complete paralysis. He lost the feeling in his limbs, his vision going blurry. Even breathing became a consuming conscious task. He felt like he was drowning underwater.

"M-matty? my love, what's the matter?" She was immediately alarmed when she'd glanced away from her book to check in with him. "You look like you're gonna be sick...Do you need me to call for someone?"

With great effort, Matty shook his head, looking helplessly at her.

"Talk to me, honey..."

"P-panic attack." he stuttered, short-winded and struggling to breathe.

The words brought instant tears to her eyes, and for a moment, she was overwhelmed by how quickly his pain had crushed her heart, but she wasn't about to make this about herself.

Delicately, she reached around his neck, loosing his tie. "I'm gonna take this off, okay?" explaining each of her movements as she did them so as not to startle him with anything unexpected. Matty's scattered brain was, of course, much too overwhelmed to process anything that she was saying to him, but the softness of her tone somehow made him nod anyway. She stood up, looking a few rows behind her, for George. They'd made an agreement that she would signal to him if she needed his help. Unfortunately, though, George was sound asleep, from what she could tell.

Shifting her attention back to Matty. "I'm gonna undress you, okay?"

She unbuttoned his button-down. "Honey, are you with me? need you to take off your undershirt, okay? it's much too tight."

When he made no effort to follow her instructions, she reached over and took it off for him. “Okay, I’ve got a better shirt for you in my bag. I just need to get it from the overhead bin, alright? I’ll be right back, okay?”

Matty might as well have been asleep; he made no movement or attempt to acknowledge her, which broke her heart to a million pieces.

She hurried over to George’s seat kicking it roughly to wake him up.

“He needs you.” She simply stated as soon as she saw George’s eyes flutter open.

George cleared his throat several times. “R-right. I’m up; I’m up. I promise.” He stood up, peaking ahead of him to wear Matty was seated. “He’s…naked?”

She rolled her eyes. “Obviously, I’m getting him clothes. But I need you, you gentle giant. Help me get my bag before you sit with him? Just need to get his stuff…”

George sprung into action, following her commands swiftly while she went through her bag to find a 1975 crew neck that was two sizes too big on Matty, and a pair of his joggers. She’d packed them when he insisted on wearing his shirt and tie to the airport, hoping she’d use them under happier circumstances, but right now, she was just glad she’d thought ahead. She went over to the flight attendant and grabbed him some water to go along with the sleeping pills.

By the time that she’d made it back to their seats George, had somehow talked Matty into reclining his seat, closing his eyes, and apparently leant him some headphones. “What- how-“

George, ever the wizard, just shrugged. “It’s all I could think of, alright?”

She broke into a smile, kissing her friend’s balding head. “You’re an Angel, George.”

“Hmm.” George hummed, smirking. “Listen, I’ll go get a coffee to wake myself up. Give me a shout if you need me, yeah?”

***

Matty got through the reminder of the flight relatively alright. While he didn't manage to fall asleep, despite the sleeping pills she'd given him, nor did he manage to eat any real meals, the first class reclining chairs were comfortable enough for him to close his eyes and focus on an audio book for a couple of hours, and he did nibble on a piece of buttered toast while wrapped himself up in the blanket she'd bought him and shuffling through her especially curated playlist. The anxiety never completely left him, but he was happy to endure a lower-level persistent anxiousness instead of the sudden panic attack that had gripped him earlier.

At long last, they'd touched down and began their journey out of the airport. Matty always wondered if the arrivals terminal is universally more difficult to get through, or if his impatience to finally be done with the travel part always made it seem so, regardless of where in the world he'd found himself.

At baggage claim, the stress of the journey seemed to catch up to him. He wrapped his armed around her waist, burying his face into the side of her neck and breathing in her scent. Just when he'd closed his eyes, hoping to catch a breath while they waited for the couple of items that they could neither ship ahead of time, nor bring in their carry-ons, to appear on the carousel, he became aware of a couple of people catching on to his presence.

"No, Matty, please." her hand grabbed onto his arm around her waist when she felt him slip away from her, getting ready to greet the fans.

"It's fine, Darlin'" his voice was heavy with sleep, as were his eyes.

She sighed, this time, she couldn't be supportive of his decision. As she spotted his guitar and got ready to retrieve it, she overheard him apologize to a few people for "looking sweaty" and mumbling something about jet lag. Ross stepped in to help her with the bag, listening silently and nodding in agreement as she whispered her complaints about Matty's lack of boundaries. If she'd let him get a word in edgewise, he'd have said "you should've seen him when our career first started, he was acting like he was every fan's best mate." George joined Matty for a moment, saying a quick hello to everyone before politely excusing himself and pulling his friend away. "We've gotta go, Matty, c'mon."

Though George had succeeded in extracting Matty away, his victory was short-lived. At the airport gates, the guys were surprised to find a group of more than just a handful of fans waiting for them. Phone cameras flashed as soon as the gates opened, the crowd calling out and vying for the band's attention.

Adam was the first to jump into their designated car as it pulled up by the side of the building. Ross and George followed shortly behind him. Matty, on the other hand, was quickly separated from them when he paused momentarily, slightly thrown off, by the presence of people on both sides of the gates.

She rushed over to him, taking his hand and pulling him towards the car. For a moment, Matty let her lead the way, trailing behind her with a hand on her hip to keep from losing her. He kept his head down, but closer he got to the crowd, the louder they were, and the faster his heart beat. His palms were beginning to sweat and breathing was getting difficult again. A voice in the back of his head told him to stop, to take a look around and stop staring at his feet, and when he did, he saw the faces of the people looking at him and he couldn't help it. He let go of her hand, walking over to one group, while the other screamed out his name.

She attempted to call out his name, but her voice was drowned out by the phones beeping, cameras flashing, and excited chatter. She stood there, astounded as he smiled and hugged a few people, apologizing that he couldn't sign someone's phone case because he didn't have a pen on him.

He turned around to the second group, "I promise, I'll get to all of you if we don't cause too much trouble and security doesn't get involved. could we...maybe just move away from the gates?"

She sighed, exasperated by the lengths he was going to. He was practically behaving like a event organizer, ushering people away from the rest of the public.

As well intentioned as his plan was, it did not work out quite as he’d imagined. the moment that he moved people away from the airport gates, everyone naturally formed a circle around him, a few people elbowing their way to the front. He was trapped.

Matty froze in place, fighting to keep his expression straight and suppress the fight or flight response that had kicked in. What had he done? The illusion that he had any control at all over the situation was quickly blown away. She could see his hands shaking by the sides of his body as he struggled to regulate his breathing. She couldn’t take it anymore.

She squeezed her way past an appreciable number of people, trying to get to Matty. “Excuse me, yeah, could I just- get through. Thanks.” She grabbed his hand. “Hey, you,” and leaned into his ear “Matty, whatever you think you’re doing, it’s not smart. Let’s leave.”

“Just a second. Almost done.” He whispered, fully aware that there was no way people weren’t listening to their conversation.

“You’re not feeling well, let’s get in the car, please?”

“A few more people-“ she pulled him by the arm dragging him away from people and towards the car. Matty waved apologetically at groaning people who were mumbling how unfair this was, dipping his head low and rushing to keep up with her.

The chatter between the guys in the car fell silent as she and Matty climbed in. They settled into the backseat with Matty instantly clinging to her and resting his head on her chest as the car drove away. Her hands reflexively found his hair, running her fingers through it and kissing his forehead.

“Baby? Could I just say something?” Matty spoke, finally breaking the dead silence, once they’d made it onto the highway.

“I don’t wanna hear it.” She said firmly.

Ross and Adam exchanged a look of surprise. Clearly impressed with, and in support of, her new tone.

Matty lifted his head halfway off of her looking up at her. “But I’d just like to explain-“

“I said I don’t wanna hear it. Can we not talk about it right now?”

He replaced his head back on her body, her hands resuming their soothing motions through his hair. “Can tell you’re angry.” He mumbled.

“No shit! Of course I’m angry.” He heard her heartbeat rise as she spoke. Her hands still comforting him though her tone was definitely sharp.

“I just wanna-“

“I said I don’t want to have this conversation right now, and yet, you keep fuckin’ pushing. Look, I know you love your fans. You’re grateful. And, honestly, it is one of the greatest joys of my life watching you interact with them. The knowledge that you can be so tender and compassionate- not just with me me, not with your family, the boys, your friends- but with complete strangers as well…that’s what makes you a man in my eyes. So, trust me, Matty, I don’t say this lightly, but you have absolutely no boundaries. You’re a pushover!”

Matty was quiet for a moment, taking in the gravity of her words. “Okay, I can see why you’d think that.” he opened his eyes, looking up her through his hair. “But could I just explain my side of things?”

“There is no ‘your side’! You are mentally and physically exhausted. Matty- you were literally shaking. And, this wasn’t a professional event! This wasn’t a signing or a meet-and-greet!”

“That’s exactly why l-“

“My point is, it wasn’t safe! What if someone’d gotten hurt? What if you’d gotten hurt? There was no security to control the situation. Nobody to help or be held accountable! There’s a reason everyone else was sitting in this car, and not out there with you.”

“I get it.” Matty conceded.

“We were all bending over backwards to make sure you’re okay, then you go and willingly put yourself in a stressful situation that would trigger you. I mean,” she shook her head, speechless.

“I just- I’m sorry.”

“I know. Let’s just not talk about it anymore. Alright?”

Matty’s arms squeezed around her waist as he nuzzled his face deeper into her chest, kissing her skin in a silent apology.

The car fell into another silent lull, until, several minutes later, George peaked his head from the passengers seat and told her and Matty not to check Twitter.

“Oh, god. What’d you have to say that for? You know Matty’s gonna wanna see it now!” Adam groaned, chastising George.

“What?” George shrugged. “I said ‘whatever you do, don’t check Twitter,’ I didn’t say to hurry up and check it.”

“I’ve literally been biting my tongue this whole ride.”

Matty, who’d been half asleep in her arms, pulled out his phone, blinking rapidly to adjust to the light of the screen.

Just as he’d suspected, photos of him being dragged away from adoring fans were already circulating the internet. All captioned with dramatic out of context narratives.

“Matty Healy and gf argue in the middle of airport parking lot”

“1975 front man physically dragged away from fans by possessive gf.”

Comments embellished the description using every colorful name in the book. From “jealous” and “immature” to “frigid witch.”

Matty set his phone down, neither one of them said anything. They spent the remainder of their ride to the hotel in silence.

***

“How’re you feeling?” She emerged out of the bathroom, walking over to Matty’s slumped over figure on the bed.

“I’m sleepy, and hungry, and tired, and I smell like airplane.” He mumbled. “I’m also sad.”

“Why’re you sad?” She bent down to kiss his nose.

“Cuz you’re mad at me. You don’t seem to understand- the fans…they’re like the most important thing. Unless I’m physically tied down, I will always go out there and meet them. Never gonna be dismissive. Never gonna make them feel like they don’t matter to me.” Matty sat up in bed, taking her hands in his, and pulling her closer to him. “You can’t put out the kind of music that I put out, and then pretend not to want anything to do with the people who listen to it.” She nodded, attempting to signal that she was on his side. “There are ways of saying ‘sorry, not today guys.’ Without being dismissive or rude.”

“I hope you know, that’s never gonna be me. I’d never say that to them. It’s just not who I am.”

“I know. I don’t expect you to suddenly change. I just hope you don’t expect me to either. Cuz I’m still gonna worry about you and try to protect you when you’re in over your head.”

Matty smiled at her with droopy eyes. “Deal.” He kissed her lips.

“Sorry they’re saying mean shit online.”

“Are you kidding me? I’ve wanted to be a witch since I was a little girl!” She giggled. “Now, c’mon. I ran us a bath.”

“Wait…us? Like you AND me?”

***

“You had a really rough day today, huh?” She whispered as she snuggled into him, getting comfortable in their hotel bed.

Matty turned on his side to face her, the smell of her freshly washed hair calming his mind. “Couldn’t have gotten through it without you.” He kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”

“Of course, baby.”

“Could we just…stay here, in this bed, for ever. Just you and me. Where it’s safe, soft, quiet.”

“Sounds like a great idea. Yeah, let’s do that.”

#matty healy fanfiction #matty Healy fanfic #matty healy x y/n #matty healy fic #matty healy x reader #matty healy fluff

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humanmorph · 3 months

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post about PAL 41. yeah you know which bit. (I deleted this post by accident and had to entirely rewrite it and I am JUST posting it now. might change some stuff later if need be)

First of all "No, you dont get it Dre. I want you to FAIL" bitch me toooooooo

The Future reveal was extremely good. what a strong visual. after everything else that happened, it's still this that lingers with me... God... And at least to me a complete surprise. It's really great as a parallel to the other side of the game with the Axiom as a being unlike (but not entirely) Divines, precisely because they've excised humans/synthetics from their creation and being... and Future is not that and can't be that but it is able to wield itself, no Elect necessary. (In a different post I once said I wasn't sure if that had ever happened before, and I completely forgot about Liberty&Discovery. I did not this time.) There's a lot of different things going on with Divines this season, and some spanning back from PARTIZAN too - I think it's impressive that nontheless it all coheres. I already saw someone put this in a way I really liked, maybe I'll try to find that post again later.

I have thoughts about Figure going back to/from their introduction in PARTIZAN, but it all feels a little pointless. The crux of it is that I would've found the character/their arc more interesting played in a slightly different way, and Dre didn't want to do that, or they would've. Usual disclaimer it's their character etc. and I do see why this is the way it is and how it fits together... I have a whole bit about it in my notes app somewhere I don't feel like dropping in here, but in the end they're just not my favourite PC. Which feels kind of mean(?) to say when they just died, but it does color how I feel about this...? It's not like I'm particulary sad, and I'm also not happy about it. Kind of grimly saying Hrm!, I guess. And I did really love their bonds to other player characters. Back in PZN too, I really liked some of the conversations with Kalar expecially, and in PAL the Cori-Figure relationship was an absolute standout, and I liked them asserting themself more generally post-Perennial too... And then throughout this season they've also always been intrisically connected to NPCs I either really really loved or found super compelling. And then they blew up I am excited about Cori getting to deal with Yet More Grief! Expecially considering their gravity clocks - she's aware that they saw her as someone to take care of, vaguely parental, and the clock is about that being somewhat frustrating to her. But she's also clearly glad that they care about her, and she does love them too, so... Well. I think it'll be awesome : ) Kind of wondering what Clem is up to but also she's not really on my radar currently. 👍 And Gur. Oooooh Gur is So Fucked. Completely even Beyond being fucked. It's grim. Everytime I thought it couldn't get worse for him, he's really been through the wringer, huh?, it does. it does get worse.

Well with all that. I'm still not sure how I feel about this as an end to Figure's arc. It's sudden, it's senseless, it's cruel... And it does hit REALLY well as a moment/scene, because Friends at the Table knows how to do the damn thing (the song really got me. The way it stops suddenly), I just don't know how I'll look back on it going forward. & It's the same for Gur (moreso, even) in that it's not like I can't see how this is extremely compelling & the way it works. The way they are working at it and how it frames both characters' whole arc and past decisions... It's just that I also am unhappy about it. Emotionally. I generally think it's worth it to think about why that might be and after mulling it over it's pretty simple: this is very bleak and I'm not able to enjoy that right now. I'm happy (well.) to leave it at that for now. And it really does depend on future developments too. I felt a similar way (not quite the same) about Valences death - and I do occasionally wonder about a shape of the story with them (and hell, Chrysanth) in it - but there was a lot of things I really loved that came out of their death, be it character developments or world changes, that in the end, I do quite like it. What doesn't really hit for me is. Or rather... I feel strange about "small wheels are breaking". Deeply sad to me in a way I can't quite say how yet. Maybe I've misunderstood "the Wheel breaks" this whole time, which like, that's on me, but I'm not sure where to go with it. Waiting & curious about "knock-on effects" for now. Perennial.... : (

And gurrrrrrrrr. fuck meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee he absolutely cannot catch a break ever in his life/death. oooooohhhh my goodddddddd I do commend Keith for trying. I really do. The moment he was like "Where is real Gur?" I had the tiniest bit of hope. Like yeah PLEASE let Keith do some fucking bullshit. Need that rn. Alas. The dice

Like the world if Eclectic hadn't failed that roll...... fuck the dice for realllllll... [COUNTER/WEIGHT SPOILERS. still about PALISADE though] I JUST listened to Mako grab that damn thing in the C/W finale. A WEEK ago I did that. Oh it's just so cool to put next to each other, both Future itself but also the act of taking it (or failing to do so. And also of course Gur, who himself stole Future) and the way it then so completely shaped itself/it's presence/powers after who carried. That's why it's Zeal for Mako and Ambition for Orth (which I was thinking about the other day when I was looking at the fatt.wiki page... it's titled Zeal and that's literally just the case because Mako grabbed it first. If Aria had gotten it like she was supposed to by winning the auction we would probably not know about that other stuff!). There's even a fun way Future's change is reflected in the mechanics: because they were playing Firebrands there literally wasn't a roll to take it. There was no failure, because it would/could not do anything but be wielded. [C/W SPOILERS end.] Though it's interesting to think about that Future isn't a name given by themself either, though they might've genuinely adopted it. It's the Principality's. I've always loved this bit about Motion from PZN 33:

AUSTIN: [...] These things that we call Divines, whether we think of them as our weapons, or our highways, or our saints or gods or mirrors: they aren't ours at all. No matter how well we shop for names to place on their frames, our words are just ill fitting costumes.

But I don't know!!! I wish they'd gotten to talk to it!! It's so interesting to me the way Austin talked about the Ring (since Keith referenced LOTR) being tired of being worn, the Ring wearing itself. Again, extremely cool to me! Also that it's way to... protect itself (? Eclectic took a peril from Divine Blast & Figure. yeap) is still about the thing they detached itself from, which is what do YOU envision. What could YOU do with me.

I did really like the power of the Divine Opposition going through Eclectic causing an earthquake "it's like a rage boiling up in you, maybe". That was sick as fuck. And I really am so curious about Delegates relationship to Divines... I've said this before... I think it's very interesting that Eclectic doesn't fw it, but what do other Delegates think? How do they feel about weaving magic? Do they know to what extend they even have that power? Keith said Eclectic had never weaved magic before, which isn't true, he did, to get into a bathroom after stalking a random stranger (Connadine) (this is still extremely funny.), but in a sense that really is a very mundane way to use divine magic. And to have this literally seismic event happen because of the power coming from a part of himself that he already doesn't connect with, but DID reach out to in a critical moment in opposition to himself, and he didn't have any control over it at all? That's cool to me!!! I don't really have a neat point to make here, I just really want more about Delegates. It somewhat depends on Eclectic making it to next season or not, since I'm guessing the focus will shift away from Palisade as a place. But I just don't want them as a group to vanish from view, whether we have a player character representing them or not (......... Branched............ If you're out there.................. Call me.........).

Last thing but when the computer smell was mentioned I immediately thought of the Afflictions. Was this just because the other scene prominently featuring a smell ("AUSTIN: But it smells like Valence here. ALI: Shut the fuck up. What are you talking about?") had one of those in it? Yes absolutely. It's also a little wishful thinking, because I like them a lot.

#I knowwww I forgot about something that was previously there on the other hand I also wrote more about something else.#sighs #oh some c/w spoilers in there btw i've bolded a disclaimer but jsyk #palisadeposting #palisade spoilers #i did want to wait until i actually finished the episode to see if something critical to this bit still came up later #but i am posting it now lest i accidentally delete it AGAIN (unlikely but still)#lone marble group side getting it's own post probably.#if i feel like it. going on my walk soon ✌️

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midnightexpressproductions · 10 months

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An announcement and a thank you.

Oof, it’s been quite some time since I last posted something, huh? I can't believe it's been almost half a year since I last updated anything. My sincerest apologies for disappearing so suddenly. I promise that this account isn’t dead. However, you might have noticed that all of my posts are gone.

Let me explain.

So not to go into too much detail but some stuff -personal and work related- came up in my life, which has made it super hard to continue writing and coding for Lazarus Syndrome. I’m finally in a better place (both mentally and emotionally) where I feel like I can get back into writing. However, it’s still hard for me to separate the emotions I’ve been dealing with from Lazarus Syndrome. After taking some time and putting it into serious consideration, I’ve finally come to the hard decision to put an indefinite hiatus on Lazarus Syndrome. I know some of you might be upset to hear that but right now, for my own mental health, I can’t continue working on it.

That doesn’t mean that I’m quitting writing or deleting this account. I’ve missed writing and I’ve missed all of you lovelies! Even though Lazarus Syndrome is going to be put on the backburner for a while, I’ve got some other stuff planned that I’m excited to share with you all.

Which brings us to the next part of this announcement.

I’ve started a new project! Well, two actually. And they’re very near and dear to my heart. I’ve actually been working on them both ever since I was in junior high. And getting back into working on them the past two months has honestly been so refreshing. I feel like I'm finally writing for myself. I'm so excited to start writing again!

The first project is a fantasy novel. I'll be working on that on the side and I might make a few updates on it here and there or answer any questions if they pop up but I’ll try to keep this account strictly for my IF projects.

The second project is a story that I’ve actually decided to rework into an IF. I just fell in love with all of the characters and the world is so expansive that I figured why not change things up? I'll be making more posts about that later on so keep an eye out for it.

Being mushy and sharing stuff like this is not something I’m used to but I just wanted to let all of you lovelies know what's been going on and what will happen in the future.

I also want to let all of you know that from the bottom of my heart, I’m truly grateful for all of your continued support. I treasure each and everyone of you guys.

#announcement

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platonic-qpr-selfshipping · 1 year

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okay let me finally show you my updated f/o list!! I am also planning to add some s/i info but tbh i still havent gotten to it cause im procrastinating it while trying to relax doing other stuff klsdksj here it is!! (I am aware that the first photos look weird in phones so pls bare with me and put it in pc mode lmaoo im a carrd super-beginner)

now if you'd let me, Imma talk a bit about the changes just because

I wanted to get a bit more specific mentioning platonic f/os so even if I like many characters in sources like Obey Me, you can now see which characters I think my s/i would be the closest with :D!! I also played a bit with labels ig but I read this fic where Mammon said there was no need "to be anything" as long as we were in peace with each other and I felt that on a spiritual lvl so instead of overthinking how to label f/os sometimes I just put him as unlabeled lol I just love self inserting in his world being really close to him and he's my fav character of the game and all but ig it becomes hard sometimes to try to fit that into something so I said whatever, it's my little self insert world and they can do whatever they want that brings me comfort XD yknow, sometimes partnering concepts just feel off but at the same time I enjoy saying I am a Mammon simp cause I love the character so it's a bit of a mess in my brain sometimes, trying to make both my experience as a player and my s/i's fit for my best comfort

(yes this was another Mammon UR+ I did not get on Nightbringer)

talking about labels, I've decided to put all the Golden Deer as platonic soulmates :D! I think it suits us all and all the unique bonds they form with each other, and I thought that the whole thing of my s/i probably having this huge feeling of admiration and loyalty towards Claude felt better like this somehow, like it's a part of my s/i lore and not so much about what their relationship can be or not? I dont know if this makes sense worded like this but it seems to work out in my head XD I still plan to someday develop my s/i's story a lot so who knows

anyway, FRIENDS AND FAMILY!! I feel like it's pretty obvious that I've started to play Honkai Star Rail because suddenly I got a friend, a brother and a father from there- listen everytime I see the Astral Express Family written in the groupchat I emotionally cry happy tears (also I wouldnt be surprised if i ended up also f/oing Himeko in the future lmao, I love found families can you tell)

from Genshin Impact I've officially added Thoma as a platonic f/o :D!! (my hearts craves to befriend kind characters, yes) I think my Genshin s/i is probably the one with the most lore right now so I'm excited to write about this in the future! well,,,,, actually my Super Mario Bros s/i also has some info around themselves already,,,,,, like would you believe me if I told you I was already making up s/i lore while still watching the movie,,,,, the self-shipper experience huh.....

I love her

and do you know who I also love a lot.....?

those platonic f/os I've been mentioning in some reblogs lately saying I still havent talked about them......?

the dudes that may have taken over my brain recently using the power of friendship....?

yeah

aren't they the coolest tho

anyway I love them (repeating it as if i hadnt made it clear already) and I had to rewrite part of this cause I accidentally deleted it it so I think I'll finish it here ksdhkjs I believe there is a bit more to see in the carrd though, I'll put it in my pinned post soon :D! now if you'd excuse me imma go consume more hypmic manga as a healing experience, if you've read until here go drink some water, listen to Break The Wall and thank me later

#f/o community #self ship community #self shipping #self ship #f/o #selfship #queerplatonic f/o #platonic f/o #f/o list #all i write is about you #self shipper #self shipping community #selfshipping #self shipping blog #i love the pink aesthetic i may try to also bring it to this blog :D

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abubblingcandle · 6 months

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Hey! It's the same anon as before. Super excited for the next chapter of Dutch Courage!

Out of curiosity you mentioned in depth plotting in your answer and so I was wondering if you would talk about what your planning process looks like?

Hello again! And you are always welcome in the ask box :)

So I'm gonna put this under the cut and use the next chapter of Dutch Courage as an example (as I delete my plan as I go so if you don't want spoilers then look away until I've posted the chapter :)

So the first thing I do is come up with like a one sentence summary of every chapter in a fic (or at least the first few that I know of) so that I can initially pace the work. So like this:

This bit is the bare bones key scene in that chapter and I'll add detail in little amounts if it comes to me but I'm not writing that chapter

Then I'll do a rough outline in just bullet points of vaguely the key plot points that I want in that chapter. Sometimes this is enough and then I'll just start writing prose and off we go. But sometimes then I can struggle with how a chapter flows

If that is the case then I in depth plot. How I in depth plot is I put a few sentences for each scene in red and in brackets that has notes of what is happening in that scene. This then allows me to write the chapter in a stupid order by inserting the scene in the relevant space in the notes. If I don't finish that section or am not that pleased with it I highlight it to look back later. So It'll look something like this (this is just a snippet of the chapter but it's the only prose I've written so far:

So the bits in red are the in depth notes, black is the text, yellow shows me that I haven't finished that mini scene yet.

Then as I go through I delete the red whenever I have finished that scene until I have a fully written chapter. Then I proof read. Then I post.

So yeah, that's my process. I find the in depth plotting really helps me focus as it sets the pace and it gives me a clear sense of how it's evolving and also how close it is to finished. It also means I can get all the plot ideas down when they hit me instead of trying to fully write it out as they might drift away if I leave it too long!

#candle writes #writing process #dutch courage tag #ask box is always open!

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gremlinwithagachablog · 8 months

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Looking back at my 2018 gacha stuff

Guess who found some of their old gacha stuff from 2018??

At first I thought gacha studio was gachaverse lol. Anyway this is actually Lila from my pokemon irl blog @vitamin-sea-enjoyer, except a version of her from a tvtropes forum rp.

So then I finally found actual gachaverse and made a bunch of my TvTropes RP characters there too. We have Lila again, her friend Eva, an early version of my sona called Quantum, Erin from a magic school rp and Echo and Layla from a superhero rp.

Then I made a couple of my other pokemon rp characters. The guy on the left is Danny. He's a were-Phantump who got turned on accident by his older sister, the pink haired one to the right of him. She's called Guinevere or Gwen and she's a were-gourgeist. I actually briefly posted as her on pkmn irl tumblr, as someone from a long line of gourgeist hybrids looking for information on her birth family. Then there's Lila again and Eva, showing a bit more of her mad scientist mechanical enthusiast side this time. The one in the back is Miriam Marcaul. The Macrauls were a big rich Kalosian family of collectors in this pokemon RP, and her collection was of plushies. It took me years to realise I'd been spelling the family name wrong.

Then gacha life 1 came out! (prepares grumpy old man voice) back in my day we were excited about 20 character slots! You whipper snappers never had to learn the struggle of deciding who to keep and taking screenshots of what they wore so you wouldn't forget!

I remember I got Gacha Life right before a family trip down to London and I spent the whole 3 hour car ride grinding to level 50 in life mode so I could unlock online exports. Then I made some halloween costumes for some of the characters because there was a party event going on in the RP.

At this point Danny does look quite a bit like my other pokemon OC @shinyhunterderek, but they're actually just inspired by the same yo kai watch character.

Derek was a character who I never ended up using much, so it's nice to have him on here finally doing stuff.

So yeah that's some of my older gacha stuff and the origins of a couple of my pokemon blog characters.

I have some even older OCs I made in gacha studio, but I thought they were cringe and deleted all the screenshots I had of them so I'm not sure if I'll be able to find my very first experiences with gacha.

Its mad to think about how I was there when gacha life came out and now gacha life 2 is here. I remember pre registering for it and being super hyped when I woke up and it was installed. Just like I was for gacha life 2 nearly 5 years later lmao.

#I was well into yo kai watch back then #I still am #Ever since I watched the 2nd anime movie on YouTube #I love Hailey Anne/Inaho so much #A ton of my OCs (including Eva) have personalities inspired by hers #I miss 2018 gacha sometimes #gremlin rambles about old stuff #gacha studio #gacha life #gacha life 2 #gacha community #gacha life oc

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shine-reblogs · 1 year

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sighs i just finished errant kindom and man...it really feels like one of those "we had this super cool, super in depth idea that we hadn't actually finish preparing when we got all our funding and made promises, and then we lost interest halfway through but are obligated to finish it" situations. i wanted to believe they could fix things give then TWO YEAR break they had to come up with something but its just *so* obvious they stopped caring about EK once they got the greenlight for Call Me Under. idk how much most people remember from early dev of EK (since they've deleted two tumblrs, privated their original twitter account + deleted comments on the itchio pages to get away from the drama they've caused through this whole process. very normal things for a developer to do in response to very justified critique lol) but the change in attitude/tone/amount of updates about it after CMU became a thing was immediate and noticeable even back then. i think most people (me included) figured they were just really excited about their next game esp since wtnc had bought them so much good will, but in hindsight the warning signs were there even before the hiatus.

i know they site covid as the main reason for delays and everything for EK but at the same time, they've been perfectly on pace for CMU despite its development starting later (but before the pandemic) and not having nearly as many financially backed obligations as EK did at the time? they managed to release two waves of new content for WTNC including a mini story they charged for during the pandemic and got most of an extended demo done for CMU, but the ending of EK is the best they could manage in two years *AFTER* getting another 3 months to work on it from the original re-release? sorry not buying it any more, i'm sure the pandemic made things difficult and i emphasize but they very obviously were getting work done, just not on the project they should to have been prioritizing over their shiny new toy.

It definitely feels like they got tired halfway and just put whatever together to call it finished...

Honestly, I got into EK kind of very late (just about when they went on hiatus if I recall right?), so I missed a lot of the drama about the when and hows of the updates. I'm not necessarily annoyed that they ran into problems and had to release much later than originally said (that's the risk of buying unfinished games), but I would have appreciated it if they were more forward about it from the start. Instead they made excuses and pushed the date further and further away with half-baked excuses, and now that annoyed me. I honestly would have preferred if they took an indefinite hiatus and came back together to the game finale with a fresh mind instead (a controversial opinion perhaps, but I'd rather have had a good finale later than... Whatever we got now).

I'll admit I haven't yet looked into their other games (I get into stuff randomly and at random times), and after everything that went on I'm certainly no more confident to do it now.

I can only hope that the devs do better in the future, being more honest with the fans and taking their time to deliver a final result according to what they've been building up.

#shine answers #ask #errant kingdom #errant kingdom critique

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twisted-wonderland-shenanigans · 2 years

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Holy crap where'd you all come from?!

This is insane, I can't believe how quickly this blog has grown! It's so awesome, thank you guys so much for your support and interest! 🥺

I've been a little busy for the past few days or so because I adopted a couple of new kitty fur-babies, so it's been mostly me trying to make sure they get settled into their new home and that they don't get into too much mischief while I'm at work, so haven't been able to do much writing (especially when they started demanding attention and scritchies). 😂

Still, this is really awesome and I'm super excited to see how they grow and develop 🥰

Now, on to what I want to talk to you guys about. Since the last time I hit 200+ followers, I mentioned how I hadn't had anything planned for the milestone. However, I've thought long and hard about it and I decided that--once we reach 400 followers--I will be doing a special:

Art requests! :D

I will be opening a limited amount of slots (as I don't want to overwhelm myself too quickly) for my followers to request their characters with any of the characters in either AU!

WARNING!!!! THIS IS JUST A HEADS UP SO YOU GUYS ARE AWARE OF WHAT I'M PLANNING!!! ANY REQUESTS FOR THIS EVENT THAT COME IN BEFORE I MAKE THE OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT WITH THE RULES WILL BE DELETED AND YOU WILL HAVE TO SEND THE REQUEST IN AGAIN LATER!!!!

Once I hit 400+ followers, I will be making an announcement over the weekend so I can monitor my inbox, as I can't access tumblr during work hours. If I do hit the initial limit, I will be closing the requests--however, once I complete the initial batch, I will see about opening up a few more for those who missed out. If you miss your chance, don't worry, I'll do my best to do this event again in the future!

For context on how the art will look, it will be done in the same art style as I've done the concept designs for the Monster!AU (and soon to be Deity!AU concepts) or chibi style (which I will be doing a design of so you can see what my style will look like). Examples will be posted on the official announcement!

Keep an eye out folks, and I will make sure to create an announcement when I'm ready to launch it! ÒvÓ

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland monster au #twst monster au #twisted wonderland deity au #twst deity au #faun speaks #future event pending! :D

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anonofseasons · 11 months

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Maybe it's due to not having spoons (fibro and the heat are getting to me bad), but my mood is up and down, and my feelings about Seasons are going up and down with it?

I'm like, "Oh this part is cute and I'm excited to share it!" and "Cal, shut up, please, you're being annoying. Keep it to yourself!" No one has said I'm being annoying. I just get super self-conscious now, bc... history of being told I'm annoying. Also, it's rather recent that I'd tell my now-ex that I was excited about something - that I'd finished a first draft or gotten a map drawn - and she'd respond with stuff like, "Did you see the witch Bath and Body Works diffuser?" (I had to beg her to congratulate me. I would do so for her when she had accomplishments, but mine? Meaningless.) Back to Seasons, though. I've been anxious that it's too long. I'm not out to set some arbitrary word count limit here. I mean "Was this really necessary, or did you just get too self-indulgent, and now you have too many loose ends to tie up?" (This is exacerbated by my writing out of order and fearing I'll forget something by the end.) That's just my brain, there. Worried that I was excessive and have made a mess, rather than a coherent story. I'm also worried that I sound so egotistical now that I'm finding joy in talking about my writing/characters. (This ties in with the first issue, that I should "shut up" haha...) I had such a weird process for years. I enjoyed the process of creation, but I... thought I was shitting out garbage. Characters, writing style, story, everything. Someone once told me years ago that I wrote nothing but man babies, and someone else later said the same thing. Second person also said my writing style induced their synesthesia so they couldn't stand to read my stuff. There have been other things, those are just some examples. It's so painful. I don't feel like I can become a better author if I don't have helpful criticism, but I've certainly had the destructive stuff launched at me. I'm still working on myself. I was only 13 months ago I got self-conscious and decided to stop sharing any of my writing publicly, so I locked up everything on AO3 in a private collection, I deleted or hid everything on google docs and other sites. And I struggled to finish Rascal (which I posted the final chapter just a few weeks before that and then ended up locking it up, haha), and now I'm struggling a bit with Seasons. I don't always struggle with ending stories, but... sometimes I do, and it definitely sinks my mood. I'm lucky in that some people have found my writing and been supportive. I'd be fucked if I didn't have @yume-x-hanabi being so supportive and nonjudgmental. She's a good writing buddy. And I have another friend who also just checks out my writing despite meeting her through fandom as well, even picked up Seasons despite the heavy content. ;A; That's a blessing. But sometimes I'm still working on saying, "No, I do love myself and these things. It doesn't matter what other people have said. They're a few people. They were mean. They don't define you or your work." Still, it sneaks up on me and leaves me scared that I have more work ahead. That I need to get better and better now, because if I want a career out of this, I'm going to have to bust my ass. And it's funny... I do enjoy the process of writing, I love building characters and writing stories and creating lore. I just wish after it was all done, I wasn't fearful that I just hot-glued a bunch of steaming shit together, and I refuse to see it...? XD; (Sorry that's a disgusting mental image, but... it wouldn't hold together, is my point.) Anyway, sorry if you read this for rambling so much. It's kind of negative. I gotta cheer up. ;A;

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storiesbyrhi · 2 years

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and like, feel free to keep this in the inbox or delete it, or whatever you want, I'm just overly excited about the concept and sputtering ideas your way if you think any would be a fit 🥰😍

- I think Eddie wouldn't be too much into texting (autocorect killing him internally), but would love to call and video call. Calling him with video to explain how random things work in the house, like turning on the A/C or opening the automatic blinds, or just turning the TV back from cable to Netflix👌🏻

- he'd be skeptical about all the robots around the house. a roomba vaccum today, the Terminator of tomorrow. especially after he'd watch that one episode of Love Death Robots in Netflix (season 2,ep 1).

don't get him started on Alexa and her snarky comments 😱

- would be a bit freaked out about all the Cctv cameras everywhere.

- deep fakes, completly terrified about them.

- but then he'd start enjoying things too...

- would 100% cry at the LOTR movies

- gets addicted to a phone game, something super generic, like candy crush or Farmville 😂 then he slowly discoveres larger pc / console games. Star wars games like The Force Unleashed and Knights of the Old republic.

- you could make him a YouTube content creator for laughs, later in the series😂 also to give him an income he can spend freely and stupidly 🤔 gamer would be easiest or like a react channel, his weird comments about being a teen in the 80s making him quirky enough to gain a following. Or, or, or he could host D&D games, online, like maybe at first just with Dustin, Mike and Lucas's kids? grandkids? I can't do the math rn 😂 😂 but then other people would want him to be DM for campaigns.

This could also tie nicely with his lack of HS diploma (or identification documents really...). it might not be for everyone, but with a little luck, some charisma and hard work you can still make a living in 2022!

- he'd definitely be fascinated about the internet and the amount of porn on it. Rule 34 😂

- food delivery, best invention of the modern world. and frankly, just home delivery in general, he would order the most random things off adds and telescoping. vegetable cutting multi tools, 2 in 1 head scratcher and shoulder massage devices.

- take him to Disneyland, please! 😢 he'd be like a little kid on Christmas.

- wonder if he'd ever look up his uncle and what happened to him🤔

- it would be nice if the gang managed to clear his name and maybe say he became a victim too instead of being remembered as a murderer.

Hope any of these help in any way, I'm looking forward to many chapters 🤩

That's all I have for now, but, probably...

*Terminator voice* I'll be back!

Anon! Your message makes me so happy because my story has got your head spinning with headcanons of 2022!Eddie. I'm honored.

I reckon maybe the first part of your message got cut off though?

I love these ideas. It's TBA how long he'll stay in this day and age, so he might not be around long enough to need to make money, etc. But you're so right. His personality is so suited to YouTubing. Maybe big Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural vibes, but more high energy.

Thank you for your message, and your ideas. Anything that I put in the fic will be credited of course. And please - be back. Anytime! xo Rhi

#Eddie Munson #Eddie Munson Headcanon #Rhi Answers

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