#I'M SAYING MANNERS

[dailymanners]

Always use "excuse me" if you have to get into someone else's personal space.

Someone at the store is standing in front of the shelf where there's a can you want to grab? Don't just reach into their personal space without warning, say "excuse me" or "pardon my reach" first so that they at least have a warning that someone is about to reach into their personal space, and most importantly, so that they have a chance to move before you get into their space.

Or if someone is standing on a walkway or in a doorway you need to get through, don't just silently shove past them or squeeze past them, say "excuse me" so that they have a warning that a someone is about to squeeze or shove into their personal space, and they have a chance to move out of the way before you do you.

People deserve a fair warning if someone is about to squeeze or shove or reach into their personal space. A lot of people are not okay with having someone, but especially a stranger, randomly shove or squeeze or reach into their personal space without warning. They also deserve a chance to move out of the way first for the sake of their comfort.

Try to avoid just staring at people who are in your way and expecting them to read your mind that you want them to move. Most people cannot, in fact, read minds, so having someone stand in front of them and stare at them often only leads to making them feel uncomfortable and frustrated.

But also more importantly, if you are standing somewhere someone needs to get to, and they say excuse me, you should move aside for them even if just temporarily, so they can avoid the discomfort of having to reach into your personal space or squeeze past you.

If someone is saying "excuse me" it's because they would like you to move because they don't want to have to get into your personal space, whether it's out of respect for you, or just because they themselves are not comfortable getting in your personal space.

All of this goes double for people with trauma and/or people who are neurodivergent. If someone has trauma related to abuse or assault they may find it more upsetting or possibly triggering to suddenly have someone shoving or reaching in their personal space without warning.

Or, many types of neurodivergence can make it especially disturbing and unpleasant to have someone else in your personal space, especially without warning.

You can never be 100% sure who is and isn't traumatized and/or neurodivergent, so always practice respecting other's personal space by giving them a fair warning with "excuse me" or "pardon my reach" before getting in their personal space, and moving aside when you hear those magic words. Or, even if someone isn't traumatized nor neurodivergent, it's still fair to not like someone in your personal space without warning and not being given the opportunity to move first.

#manners #politeness #courtesy #good manners #etiquette #I'm so sorry I really tried to make this one shorter I really did #I trimmed the fat as much as I could but this was as short as I could bring myself to make it #Where I live most people will just shove into your personal space without saying anything #or just stare at you until you get the hint and move #and I hate it so much #Especially because I am both neurodivergent and have PTSD so I really hate people staring at me and/or shoving in my personal space

[inkskinned]

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

#warm up #writeblr #this is also about being ace btw #my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it #bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like #trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner #and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them. #which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in! #but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected! #> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess #> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT #i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know #but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace'' #bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual #it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward. #TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND #AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE #bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex #and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs #and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex'' #WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it. #not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden? #even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB #i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point #but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one #and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''

[sergle]

I'm thinking abt that pretty fall leaves embroidery pattern post and about how like... it is categorically a repost, it's a reupload. right? a thing that is generally disliked. but because it's credited, it's genuinely boosting the artist in question. and it could ALWAYS be like this. reposting content could ALWAYS be a symbiotic relationship, but because sourcing back to the original creator of something is so uncommon, it's just easier to ask people not to repost it at all. and people still don't understand the difference. or they'll go to the effort of cropping out usernames/signatures to repost something, which is More Effort than literally crediting the creator of something you liked enough to want to repost. Like. I literally don't actually care if my own shit gets reposted, you have to understand. I just don't want it STOLEN. But "do not repost" is easier to write on my art than "you can repost this, but don't alter the image/remove my signature, don't you dare write 'credit goes to the artist' because that is not credit, please link back to my original post or someplace that you can actually find me. please use an actual link/url instead of writing a non-clickable link of my username, because making it text instead of a clickable link cuts the number of people who will go to the effort of visiting my own page in Half." All those aggregate themed accounts, those fuckin annoying as hell instagrams and facebook groups that are like "body positive art we love wamen 💕 hashtag feminism" and then MASS-STEAL plus sized art created by women, if pages like these that always go and steal my older self-portraits and other works... If they just put a link to my prints of those pieces in the text of those posts, or, fuck, my commission info page? I would literally be living on the moon right now. I would have a house on the moon

#there is actually nothing morally wrong with running an account that just reuploads ppl's artwork or their jokes or their cosplays #if you just put a VISIBLE LINK in the description of your post with proper credit then it would be beneficial for everyone #because you can get your little clout or whatever it is you want by putting a bunch of same-category content on a page #but nobody's getting fucked over because if your post blows up then people just get FUNNELED to the source #because it's placed so plainly where everyone can see it #and yeah it's better to retweet or reblog but #on the rare occasion that I see my shit reuploaded on tumblr WHICH IS WEIRD BC I MAKE MY OWN POSTS HERE but anyway #someone making their own post where they upload my stuff. and it's always the floral self portraits so let's say it's a post with all those #if I scroll to the bottom and it says like. Artwork by Serglesinner on Twitter <-- clickable link [Sergle's Prints] <-- clickable link #to my etsy #I'm like oh okay and all the anger leaves my body and I'm like ah I see. and I toss the rock aside #like oh okay so you actually care that a person made these pieces. Instead of posting the caption ''women <3'' or smth #like you've GOTTA die if you do that. but if you just link back #or if you go to the effort of writing like a description with a BLURB? like it's a damn museum. like a light paragraph of info #about what the art is and who made it and their links #I am literally sucking you in a strange and peculiar manner. that is extremely helpful #and maybe other artists don't want this AT ALL and they'd rather people not reupload even if it is credited #but I feeeeeeeeel. like 99% of the time this would solve the issue #reposters could genuinely be helping ppl. sometimes the repost gets more traction than the real thing #as long as it credits the creator then that's an okay thing to happen! #that can land somebody a sale! a commission order! a new fan! A JOB #A JOB!!!!!!!!!! #sergle.txt #I didn't write this eloquently AT ALL what the fuck ever barkbarkbarkbark

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance - Traverse Town

#kingdom hearts dream drop distance #khddd #traverse town #scenery #my gif #trying my hand at giffing the worlds of this game despite the lack of a first person view (something i'm very upset about) #so i have to obtain and edit these shots in a very awkward manner #all while constantly being shoved around by my dream eaters #i'm so serious when i say making this set was really really frustrating lol #i can't find a free roaming camera mod or anything else that would be helpful for me #but i'll keep at it because i love looking at still shots of video game environments #and being able to share it with other people who enjoy it too #ANYWAYS traverse town is so beautiful in this game they added so many gorgeous areas with pretty glowing lights #i like the wacky whimsical mail room too and how there's this entire secret workshop hidden beneath that weird mailbox haha #the world really does feel magical and dreamy especially with its updated music #just realized the stars in the first gif are moving which is strange

[hazmatmaid]

What are your current thoughts on Gaster’s motives with the Secret Bosses, if you had to give your best guess?

To be completely honest, I'm of the mind that he doesn't necessarily have malicious intent with breaking their senses of reality (if he is the one doing it), but he severely misjudges how they're going to take the information he gives them.

So he's less of a villainous force, and more of a cryptid that flits in the corner of your eye, and as soon as you turn your head like "What? What was that?" your croissant has gone missing.

#deltarune #gaster #wd gaster #spamton #spamton g spamton #addison spamton #deltarune theory? #i mean i guess #all i'm going off of are his supposed mannerisms involving the man behind the tree #and the secret messages #he seems really sweet #but at the same time no longer seems to comprehend normal reality #also i find it funnier #haz answers things #haz says a thing #my drawings #doodles #i thought about including jevil but i'm lazy #gonna answer one more of these and then i'm gonna go study

[snackugaki]

one orrrr

two?

#not a perfect return to posting art #but fuck if my pettiness isn't a great driving force #lol about what snack?? #some ole bullshit i saw on the whassit... insta or twitter #one of those two where “FaNs” go to pretend they got no fucking manners #oOoOh you're a this that whatever artist because look you draw like this one OoOoh #fuck outa here #literally I'm gonna post going through my whole goddamn style rolodex #also? #personal art style is not as big a deal as some of these new/young artists think it is #like maybe in commercial or children's book illustration #since they look for a specific vibe #and you're doing yourself an artistic disservice by focusing so much on “creating a personal style” #and this weird fucking self-imposed boundary of like appreciating how an artist renders this or that aspect of their drawing #because they think the plagiarism police are gonna SWAT them #like... it's pretty and you like it bcoz it speaks to you so #fucking just #try it out #try out that type of line weight #try out that color palette #try out that way of lighting a person or a scene #try it #listen everyone is out here being an aesthetic frankenstein's monster #the minute you try out xyz in your art it becomes “your style” because how you interpret it replicate it will be #influenced (altered you could say) by how you draw #unless your ass getting paid to draw on model or your art lead's style or you wanna get on a show/game so you're cobbling a quick portfolio #but that's not this #also lol next mutation still got fans #my childhood nostalgia says hello #tw eyestrain

[confused-stars]

the more I think about Wriothesley's childhood, the more sure i become that his perception of his parents being loving and perfect on the outside is also flawed

I think they were likely cleverly manipulative and tried to raise the children in a way that would make them more valuable to sell later.

things like teaching them to never cry because "oh, isn't being happy so much nicer?" when in reality it's just unsightly and their clients want quiet, well-behaved kids that can wear a smile no matter what

the kids' concerns being constantly brushed off as they were distracted with some gift or a fun game, the girls sitting for hours with their mother as she carefully helps them practice with makeup, probably some well-placed remarks to make the kids scared of the gardes...

they never made the kids doubt that they were loved, all while gently and patiently shaping them into what they wanted them to be

#genshin #wriothesley #i'm saying that maybe wriothesley didnt pick up all his mannerisms at the fortress #maybe he already had some that helped him survive until now

[nikrei]

Doing Bart week!! Because it's a big birthday present for me! First prompt is Impulse95 Cast, so have a wholesome family photo that Helen dragged them to Sears to get. Enjoy the terrible matching sweaters!

#bart week is a challenge for myself to draw things in a timely manner #and not get wildly caught up on details #which might work better if i don't decide to draw three dang people #i don't think I'm married to this version of Bart's hair #we'll just say that Helen tamed it before the photo #bart allen #max mercury #helen claiborne #bartallenweek #arting with nik

[kaymarie-bell]

I can’t wait to find out if any of these are right

I might write summaries as I go like I did for the Ignihyde Chapter, it was fun

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst diasomnia #diasomnia chapter theories #feel free to send me an ask if you want me to elaborate on any of these #I'm so so normal abou the Dia boys #kay shouts into the void #edit: gotta say some of these are in the /jk manner btw

[krispycreamsicle]

step on me tantai jin

#till the end of the moon #tteotm #长月烬明 #tantai jin #luo yunxi #罗云熙 #cdrama #*my gifs #omg tantai jin hiiiiiiiiiiiiii #i'd let him destroy my sect any day i'm just saying #jhgfgh i'm sorry i forget my manners when a new meow meow drops

[lilyrighter]

So I'm not getting on any sort of "I disliked James Somerton before it was cool" thing because that blatantly isn't true, I was just as much of a fan as many others were before Hbomberguy's video.

But even after subscribing to James, I typically looked at his videos talking about a certain media more than his general queer history stuff, because when he wasn't focused on a specific topic, I found it hard to retain what he was saying and understand some of his explanations. "His" definition of camp particularly flew over my head. Now, I thought this was a me problem, that I just wasn't getting it because I'm a visual learner and hearing things academically is a bit harder. But now that I know 99.9% of his shit was stolen, I've realized why I'm not the problem!

My brain felt like I was experiencing an academic textbook because the shitstain was reading unfiltered academic text at me, at times like he was reading off a Wikipedia article--WHICH HE LITERALLY DID

#me before: my brain isn't smart enough to get everything he says :( #me now: oh no that's wrong he just stole indiscriminately and patched it together in a shitty manner #not all of his sources were strictly academic but now i'm sure i could point to which ones that are because that at times #super over complicated writing style of text books can be easy to spot if you properly look for it #not that i'm watching one of his videos ever again fuck him i just wanted to vent about realizing this #james somerton #hbomberguy

[veerbles]

so like. essentially the entirety of the soc duology wouldn't happen if kaz reitveld just got to give his brother a funeral and mourn him?

#kaz brekker really said 'nmnf. if I didn't get to nobody else does either' #six of crows #kaz brekker #I'm not saying kaz wouldn't be traumatized I'm saying enacting a 10 year revenge plot #against a man who frankly........ was only indirectly responsible for your tragedy #maybe would not?? be the first course of action?? of a boy who got to process the loss his last relative in a somewhat dignified manner??? #an au where kaz is just another barrel rat going through the motions 😔✊ #he somehow finds inej and jesper idc I don't make the rules. yes mourners yes funeral au

[lesbiancolumbo]

exchanges that will make you go crazy if you think about them a little too hard!!!

#it's so funny (insane). alex tries repeatedly to remove his hand from lieutenant horny's gorilla grip and he's like 🙂 we're done when i say #lumbo is like yeah you've given my totally not placebo wife and me a great deal of pleasure iykwim. and alex is like cool. #anyway i'm going to run through you in a manner that will haunt you for the rest of your life #and lumbo is like haha not if i ruin you first #alex: what. lumbo: what. #ANYWAY. just going to sit here and [static increases] #benelumbo

[mcdannowave]

Current aesthetic: Alex sticking his tongue every time he takes a sip.  (Part 2)

(p.1, p.3)

#alex o'loughlin #drinking #hawaii five 0 #steve mcgarrett #little tongue #alex eating #alex movies #Alex doing his stuff #muscles and tattoos #appreciation post #The Backup Plan (2010) #h50 1x05 #h50 10x02 #h50 8x09 #h50 3x11 #yeah. he does that (quite ) sometimes that u can't unseen anymore (just like other features and also Scott too xD) #also.it's so amusing to see Alex drink those water out of beer bottles #love seeing all the patterns and mannerism of his. of both of them actually (i'm talking to u Mr Cant-Keep-Figdeting Caan🤣) #there of course the hotness factor here..but that tongue Steve uses is reserved only to be used on Danny's body #(and Danny says like 70% of the time how even his tongue can be considered an weapon.bc Danny can give Anything Steve asks) #can't blame that SEAL thou..when he takes you to heaven and back multiple times.u do as he says #the biceps..peeking tattoos and veins all around is more than a plus here too #for the Wine gif.Thought abt using adobe affect effect to remove any piece of that disgusting lying bich.but i was out of time #would've loved to work on some mcdanno stories like The plan B movie..Alex is just too cute there..so so young #(and he looks so smug there too. w/ that milkshake xD) #mine

[mobius-m-mobius]

#wake up y'all new fav excuse just dropped

+bonus

#emil blonsky #tim roth #she hulk #mcuedit #marveledit #well he's back therefore so am i 😅 #the slightly aggressive manner in which tim roth chose to say 'chicken' >>>>> most things in the mcu i'm just putting that out there #¯\_(ツ)_/¯ emil would want me to speak my truth #hoping for the best of both worlds in that this is inevitably a scam but he gets to keep the ranch bc that's what we all deserve #marvel #jennifer walters #she hulk spoilers #dianagifs

[lemonhemlock]

not to be a hater on main but i just stumbled on a tik tok claiming that tsh both takes itself too seriously and could use more absurd comedy and it nearly made me punch a wall

#my quest to find agreeable creators on booktok and booktube leaves me v frustrated sometimes #!!! i accept no criticism of this book #but even without stan goggles on how can say with your entire chest that tsh takes itself too seriously #when it literally makes fun of 'dark academia' types TO YOUR FACE #which is ironic for the book that spawned the entire genre #it's a comedy of manners at the very least #'this book that contains copious amounts of absurdly comedic situations and makes fun of pretentious twits obsessed with aesthetics #could use more absurd comedy and is not satirical enough' #recognising those basic building blocks of the text does NOT even mean to have to like it?? #i hate to be bringing the Reading Comprehension debate again but good lord. and this person claims to have a phd in literature too 🤦‍♀️ #i am so over this pretense at criticism that basically boils down to 'i didn't like this thing so i can't be seen to admit it executes #anything well. so instead i'm going to pretend basic obvious techniques in the text don't exist and peddle it as groundbreaking critique' #stuff like recognising basic genre. what happened to that. #i don't like The Hangover either but it would be very strange to call it anything other than a comedy #the secret history #donna tartt #again you don't even have to like the book!!! #I'M SORRY BUT IT MADE ME WANT TO RANT SO BAD #livresque #booktok and booktube are satan's garden