#I’ve been so busy with real world stuff I

[tkingfisher]

So I write all sorts of things (fiction, fanfic, screenplays) and my mind is cluttered garden of flowers and weeds and shiny ideas, and I'm wondering how to form a writing practice to clear it into tidy rows? Is it possible to shepherd untamed ideas into order?

How do you manage all your wonderful worlds, characters and inspiration and not feel haunted by the story bits and pieces in your head? Any practical tips beyond dark magic?

Thank you, you are such a constant inspiration for me, both prose and just your presence. <3

*laugh* Oh god, Nonny, if I ever find out, I’ll tell you! When you read books, you’re getting the Instagram-filtered view of a writer’s brain, all the flowers that grew out of the compost heap, carefully composed and shot in optimal lighting. The real inside of my skull is a magpie nest of Neat Shit I Read/Saw/Thought Up While Lying Awake At 2 AM. There are characters and ideas in there that I’ve been trying to get into a manuscript since I was twelve and typing on an Amiga 500.

But, that said…really, I think it’s okay. Creativity is inherently untidy. The compost heap can be corralled into a very pretty box made of sustainably harvested materials, hand-stained by traditional artisans being paid a living wage by an employee-owned company, but as soon as you lift the lid, it’s all worms and coffee grounds and old potting soil and cow shit and the vegetables you swore you were gonna eat this time before they went bad. That’s what compost is.

Nevertheless, having been in the business for…uh…fifteen years now? (@dduane is snickering at me, I can feel it) and having written nearly forty books, I can offer three bits of something less than advice. It’s what I do. It may not work for anyone else, but it’s what I do.

Un-Advice The First: If you get a shiny idea and you are super excited by it? Go ahead and chase it. Pull up a new page in Word or whatever and slap down a couple thousand words while it’s exciting. I know that this absolutely flies in the face of common wisdom, but quite frankly, my enthusiasm is a much rarer commodity than my time, so if I’m excited about something, I write it down until I’ve taken the edge off.

Then I usually save it into a big folder called “Fragments” and go back to work on whatever I’ve got a deadline on. (Usually. Sometimes the edge doesn’t wear off, and I wind up with another book. Which, y’know, darn.)

There are vast numbers of people who will tell you that a shiny idea is a sign that something is wrong with your current project and the solution is to knuckle down and work! through! it! And those people are probably right for them, and I trust they know how their own brains work. Me, though, I got ADHD like a bat has wings. My hard drive is a vast swamp of story beginnings, neat ideas, random scenes. And that’s okay because I still get books finished.

In fact, it’s better than okay. Not that long ago, my agent sent a novella to a publisher and they said “We’ll take that novella and three more novels. What’ve you got?” And I ended up plundering my hard drive and sending the editor a good dozen random beginnings until we found one that we both liked, and then I wrote the rest of that book. And then another one. If I hadn’t had all those fragments lying around, though, it would have been a miserable experience of writing book pitches and trying to think of stuff I could get excited about. (This may not be how some editors work, but it’s how my editor and I work, anyhow.)

Un-Advice The Second: Trust that everything will find a home eventually.

This one is easy to say and hard to do because sometimes you get that overload that if you’re writing the book about, say, werebear nuns, you aren’t writing the one about the alien crustaceans. Or worse, you feel guilty. If you don’t use that one cool thing, was all that time you spent on it wasted?

Breathe. Be easy. Every single cool thing does not need to go into a single book. There is no sell-by date on the neat character. You will probably write many books in your life and all those random characters will find a home. (Seriously, the werebear nuns were lurking for like a decade.)

For me, at least, when I find the spot where something fits, it often snaps into place like a Lego. Easton’s backstory as a soldier from a society where soldiers were a third sex had been kicking around in my head for a few years, derived from about three different sources, and then I wrote the opening to What Moves The Dead and all of a sudden Easton was there and alive and they had strong opinions about everything and I had ten thousand words practically before I turned around.

You can also stave off guilt by writing some of your ideas in as highly personal Easter Eggs. A couple of my books have references to a white deer woman, a heroic deed done by a saint and the ghost of a bird, and a woman with dozens of hummingbirds on tiny jeweled leashes. Those are all characters and stories I’ve had vague notions about, but haven’t managed to work in anywhere or learn much more about. Still, the passing reference is enough to make me feel like I haven’t abandoned them.

(The advantage to this is that once you DO write those in, the readers are all “oh my god, she foreshadowed this a decade ago, she must have planned this all out in advance!” Then you look really clever and well-organized and no one has to know that you have no idea what you’re doing.)

Un-Advice The Third: Write the kitchen sink book.

At one point, I had so many stray ideas that hadn’t gotten into a book yet—the tree of frogs, the dog-soldiers, the stained glass saint, the albatross and the shadow of the sun, and also I wanted to write something with Baba Yaga—that I hauled off and wrote a book where I just put in everything and the kitchen sink. It’s called Summer in Orcus. There are bits in there that I had been cooking in the mental compost heap for decades, but that weren’t enough on their own to sustain a whole book. The phrase “antelope women are not to be trusted” showed up in my head some time in college. It’s a fun little book and I’m proud of it, but it’s very much a patchwork quilt of weirdness. But it’s also written so that if later on, an antelope woman shows up in another book in another context, that just adds to their mythology, it doesn’t break canon or whatever.

(Pretty sure I’m not the only one who has done this, either. China Mieville has said that he wrote Perdido Street Station because what he really enjoyed was writing all the weird monsters.)

So yeah, that’s my advice, for what it’s worth. Some days I just tell all the fragments and ideas that I promise that I’ll get them a home eventually but I need to write this thing here now. Sometimes I throw down enough words to get the story stabilized and then I’m okay to move on. Sometimes I write multiple books simultaneously.

Any method you use to write the book, so long as it doesn’t hurt you or anyone else, is a perfectly valid method. If anyone tells you different, you send them to me.

(…god, I hope that was the question you were actually asking, Nonny, and that I didn’t go off on a completely different tangent when you just wanted to know how I keep track of a plot or something.)

#long #rambling #writing

[vxnuslogy]

— lost to time ft. sae itoshi

— warnings: angst, character death, slight ooc?

— author's note: a reupload of my favorite work on sae while i finish editing the next 2 chapters of my hazbin series. enjoy!

— first recording

“hi sae! i heard from rin that you’ll be leaving for spain. i’m really sorry i couldn’t come to see you off, i’ve been busy studying, you know, for exams and stuff. but that’s beside the point! i wish you all the best sae! do your best and when you come back home, you better be the world’s best striker yeah? don’t worry, everything will pass by quickly so don’t miss me too much ok?”

sae hated planes. he hated them quite a lot. in was a constant reminder of that time when he was only 14, leaving home to go to spain to live out his dreams only for it to be crushed 4 years later. sae hated the airport, it was always so busy and so stuffy and so cramped. he hated the feeling of being surrounded by unfamiliar strangers, hated the feeling of people brushing up against him even if they didn’t really mean it. sae hated winter. it was the season he severed his bond with his precious little brother after all. it was the season he turned his back on him and it was the season he had wished to never relive again.

-

— second recording

“hey hey guess who’s sending you another voice message? it’s me obviously, why didn’t you tell me you were back already?! if you did i would’ve picked you up from the airport!

……

is something the matter sae? you haven’t picked up any of your parents’ calls and their really worried about you. you can always talk to me remember? i’ll always be here to listen, ok? don’t bottle everything up, it’ll do more bad than good. well, i have to go now. talk with your parents every once in a while will you? ever since you left for spain you’ve pretty much cut off all contact, even with me. that’s all, good night sae.”

sae didn’t really like flowers. he thought they were a hassle. plants that require specific needs and if not met, they’ll wilt. sae was never fond of them but here he was, standing in front of the counter of a local flower shop as the elderly shopkeeper wrapped a bouquet – filled with carnations, gardenias, lilies, roses, and chrysanthemums. 

everything passes.

— college; third recordings

“i got into my dream college sae! can you believe that! honestly, i was really nervous when i took the entrance exams, but thankfully i studied real hard and managed to pass! i’ll be moving into the dorms soon. i’m gonna miss home. oh and rin! i heard he got into a soccer program recently, isn’t that nice! he’s following your footsteps in becoming the best striker in the world. i know, i know, you aren’t a striker anymore but it’s still nice to know that you’re still into soccer at least. by the way, when will you come back home? i kind of miss you, you know. i never got to see you off and when you did come back i was out of town and really busy. what about we plan a meetup or something in the near future? you know, make up for the times we lost? oh, i have to go now! my parents are helping me move in to my dorm. catch you later sae!”

sae didn’t really like coming home. the house he grew up in for the first 14 years of his life felt too foreign to be called home anymore. his parents felt like distant strangers that he just met a couple weeks ago – they felt more like acquaintances than his mother and father. the photos framed around his home felt like ancient relics from thousands of years ago, he didn’t recognize them. sae didn’t recognize himself. 

maybe he spent too much time in spain to the point where it felt more like home. how ironic, he began to realize. he had flown back to japan to escape from his hell that was spain but here he was, in his home, in the bedroom he used to sleep in for endless nights, wanting to go back to the place that left his heart hollow.

“there’s nothing else i could do.” he tried to convince himself as he sat down on his childhood bed, the bouquet of flowers at his side. he could only sigh and let himself fall back into the bed of his long gone home. “everything passes.”

“hey hey hey it’s me again! how have you been sae? i’d like to think that i’ve adjusted pretty well in college. made a few new friends and met some old ones. honestly, i almost didn’t recognize them! i mean, do you remember makoto from middle school. he was a such a problem child back then and now look at him! he’s a scholar now! i guess everyone just starts to become more mature after hitting 18, who knows. thank you again, for the gift. i was definitely shocked when my roommate told me i had a package from you. i can’t believe you still remember that i wanted ‘no longer human’! thank you, i’ll be sure to treasure it. well, that’s all for today. call you some other time sae!”

everything passes.

-

— drunk recordings; the words i wish i could’ve told you sooner

“how do you work this again? ah got it! hehe, hi again sae! i’m at a party right now, man maybe you were right, i do have shit alcohol tolerance. but it’s fine. don’t worry, i’m already on my way home and the driver isn’t some creepy dude that might kill me.

……

you know, i like you very much but i don’t think you’ll believe me. i know i jokingly said that we should marry each other if we aren’t dating someone if we hit our 30s, but i kinda wanna marry you even if we aren’t 30 yet. is that weird? i really miss you. please come home.”

……

“hello? god that was so embarrassing… sorry, could you just forget about what i said in the last recording? um just, gosh i don’t even know. denying it won’t really help right haha… it’s in the past now so don’t mull over too much ok? please, just disregard that last recording. i’m really sorry, it was just me being drunk.”

sae did not in fact disregard that recording. in fact, sometimes in the dead of night he’d think about it and wonder, if he had replied to that specific recording would things have ended differently? 

sae didn’t like deep and evoking questions about ‘what if’s’, he finds them annoying most of the time. and yet here he was now entertaining the idea. bouquet in hand as he casually walked around the neighborhood that the both of you had grew up in. the same twists and turns, same houses, same playground, same everything.

yet the silence was too loud, even for him.

everything passes.

-

— graduation recordings

“well, i think it’s safe to say i survived. i graduated sae, are you proud? man i still can’t believe i was a few point from getting the valedictorian spot but oh well. alls well that ends well i suppose. i heard you won your recent match congratulations mr best midfielder! kinda wish i was there to see it, but don’t worry! in your next match i’ll definitely save up enough money and buy those tickets to spain and your match one day! just you wait, i’ll be the screaming my lungs out and support you, i’m still your number one fan after all!”

sae had some feelings of dissatisfaction when you did not in fact get those tickets to spain and his match. maybe it was his wishful thinking but he really did wish you were there. but he knew it was impossible. 

he remembered the feeling of anger and frustration running through his veins, cursing the heavens above because he felt the need to show the gods his emotions. sae hated thinking about you in that moment. he hated how he felt like he was in a new version of hell whenever you just happened to cross his mind. sae hated you very much.

everything passes.

-

— recordings from 2 years ago

“i’m sorry. i know you should’ve heard it from me but i guess my family beat me to it haha. to be perfectly honest with you sae, i had no plans of telling you. i’m sorry. its just, the thought of breaking the news to you. how could i ever do that to you? i’m sorry. god i’m so sorry sae.”

……

“hey. i received the gift you sent me. you didn’t have to , you know. now i kinda feel bad about having you go on break in the middle of soccer season because of me. but still, thank you. i appreciated you being here, with me. it was a refreshing feeling, talking to you again and just hanging out. work has been really stuffy and felt like i was being caged but you came. you suddenly appeared and suddenly everything was alright again. i know we only said goodbye a couple minutes ago but, i miss you already. sorry. this sounds really weird doesn’t it? anyways, thank you again for the gift. i’ll be sure to wear it everyday. that’s all, have a good night sae.”

……

“hey. sorry for calling at such an odd time. i just. i just felt a little lonely. i sound so stupid i’m sorry. good night sae.”

……

“makoto dropped by today. god he was as annoying as ever but he really cheered me up. he managed to confess to this girl he’s pining over since sophomore year. i’m happy for him. but it really got me thinking about us. i know i told you to forget about that one recording because i was drunk but now that i look back on it, i wasn’t really honest. to you and myself. i know this may be the worst timing to confess but yeah, i like you very much. since primary school, as cliche as it may sound i think it all started when you stood up for me from those bullies. now that i think about, i practically glued myself to your side ever since that day didn’t i? i’m glad you didn’t really mind that. i remember always using homework as an excuse to always have you hang out with me even though i completely understood the lesson. man, where did i get the confidence to do that stuff? but i guess those times are lost in the sands of the past i guess. oh right, sorry, i forgot you didn’t really like those type of stuff. getting all deep and whatnot. well that’s all, i’m getting pretty tired already so i’ll head to bed. good night sae.”

everything passes.

-

— present

“hi. thank you by the way. i don’t know, i just don’t think i’ve ever said that you recently. so, thank you. its a bit funny isn’t it? i would almost always talk your ear off every recording but this time, i can’t even find the words to say. my parents came over, talked to them a bit. rin visited as well. he’s gotten a lot taller than i last saw him, he’s probably taller than you now!

……

sae, thank you. for everything. i’m glad we stayed in touch. i’m glad we stayed as friends.  thank you for making my days seem just a tad bit brighter, though sometimes i wonder what it would be like if we were, you know, dating. wonder what the difference would be. i mean we’d still talk to each other right? maybe holding hands and kisses but that’s pretty much it right? but thinking about it is useless right now. maybe in an alternate universe were actually married and adopted a cat like how we used to talk about.”

“you know, before this very moment. i accepted my fate already. i was content, i was doing fine but now. sae, i don’t want to die.”

“please remember me ok? and i’ll be sure to remember you. i’ll see you again, sae.”

“nii-chan..”

sae could only put his phone back in his pocket. his younger brother standing a good distance away from him. he could only imagine how rin looked like right now. was he pitying him, grieving with him? he’ll never know because he will never turn to look at him. not when your right in front of him.

how many times had he played all your recordings for the past 2 years? maybe a little over a 100 times? maybe close to 200 now?

sae removed all those thoughts as he placed the bouquet on the ground, the wind seemed to answer to his call – you seemed to answer to his call. despite all the pain, all the misery, all the bitter waves of grief that flooded his being whenever he played your recordings, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. he didn’t want to forget what you sounded like. your voice reminded him too much of home.

“happy birthday you idiot.” he said to you, keeping his hands in his pockets, watching the leaves of the flowers in the bouquet sway with the wind. two pieces of paper underneath it threatened to be blown away. “you said you wanted to come visit me and watch my match, well now you can.” two pieces of paper, one a plane ticket to spain the other a ticket to his upcoming match two weeks from now. “you better come watch me alright?” he could only bitterly smile. 

“you’re 30 now,” he whispered, before getting on one knee. placing a velvet box in front of your gravestone. “you should’ve waited for me, you idiot.” sae could only mutter those words to no one in particular. it was as if the world had stopped for a moment, the wind had stopped howling, the sun was nowhere to be seen. he could only see you. “i wanted to marry you too, y’know.”

sae could remember every occurrence where he would sit at his balcony in spain every night after your passing. phone to his ear, listening to all your recordings. but you’ll never know how he replies to them, every single one of them with his own. 

“i told the stars about you and what we could’ve had.” he chuckled, “you’re by far the hardest lesson i had to learn.”

standing up from his kneeling position, he gave you one last look before walking away. rin followed suit, but not before placing something at your grave. a pink book that you had loved till the very end. 

sae hated planes, but he flew back to japan every year. sae didn’t really like flowers, but every year he’d get you a pretty bouquet. sae didn’t like coming home but if it meant getting to visit you, he’d come back over and over again. sae didn’t like reading or any deep and evoking questions but he always humored you whenever you asked him.

sae hated all those things but they reminded him too much of you to let them go. 

and just like your favorite author, when osamu dazai asked to die, he simplu agreed; but just before his death, he suddenly felt obsession with life.

everything passes. just like how you’ll eventually get lost in the sands of time.

© vxnuslogy 2024. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works.

#✒️ — works #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae x you #sae itoshi #sae itoshi x reader #sae itoshi x you #sae itoshi x y/n #itoshi sae x y/n #blue lock x reader #blue lock x you #bllk x reader #bllk x you #blue lock angst #bllk angst #sae itoshi angst

[halamet-chalamet]

Okay okay.. hear me out on this... what if you and Matthew have just had a baby.. and he makes them one of his stuff animals and the baby doesn't know whether to be scared or happy... so they do like a little cry but then smiles.. but its not like just a one time thing they do it everytome they see the thing before they realize that it's fake...

Oh my gosh yesss. His stuffed animals are terrifying bruh.. but also cute but the octopus was a NOH. Also dad!Mathew 😩 let’s gooo

Warnings/content: no warnings! It’s pure fluffy dad Mathew! Featuring Marty (you’ll see) okay enjoy!!

It’s been 6 months since I’ve given birth to Lorelei. 8 months since Mathew came to the realization that I was pregnant with a real baby, a baby girl to be exact. Not that he didn’t know these things before but then he realized it was really only two months away.

Given this newly discovered fact Mathew decided to go crazy on crafts for baby Gubler. Drawings, and paintings for her room. Little blankets with her name crocheted in them, and a little yellow stuffed ‘animal’. It was really more of a creature or monster that Mathew liked to call Marty. Until Lorelei was ready for toys we kept Marty in a little toy bin at the bottom of her closet.

Though, now that she’s hit 6, nearly 7 months, crawling and getting into everything, we’ve decided it’s time for her to get into more of her less infant-like toys.

Mathew wanted the honor of getting out the bin and playing with her, much to my happiness as I get to watch and possibly record. Mathew took little Lorelei out of her high chair after feeding her breakfast and brought her to her nursery.

“Lorelei, I have a little surprise for you my girl!” Mathew cooed with a smile on his face as he brought out Marty the Monster. “Hi there Lorelei I’m Marty! Can we be friends?” He asked in his best monster voice.

Instead of the initial response we assumed she’d have, giggling or smiling,wanting to play. Our baby let out a noise we’ve never heard before.

First she was upset. Our least favorite sight occurred as she sat there with tears falling down her face. But she followed the tears with a small giggle and smile.

“What was that?” Mathew asked, still talking through the monster.

Lorelei let out another noise and crawled towards my legs.

“What’s wrong, muffin?” I asked our daughter, putting her on my lap.

“Do you think it scared her?” Mathew asked me. I couldn’t stand the sad look in his eyes.

“Maybe,” I replied. “Let’s try again.” I picked up Marty, the adorable yellow monster, and put him in front of Lorelei.

The baby hid her face in my chest but once again let out a small chuckle.

“Lorelei,” Mathew chuckled. “This is our friend! Seeee?” He squeezed Marty while using the baby voice he always used when he was trying to play with her. Lorelei now looked a little more comfortable as she smirked a little bit at her dads antics.

Gently, Mathew grabbed her tiny hand and put it on Marty. “See? He’s just a little plush guy?”

I smiled at the two loves of my life, interacting in such a silly and adorable way. Lorelei took the yellow stuffed animal from Mathew and giggled looking at the face of Marty.

Mathew got off his knees on the floor in front of me and our daughter and came to sit next to me. “That was a lot of grief over Marty.” I joked, looking over at him.

“It was, but it was worth it.” He almost whispered, kissing my forehead and then Lorelei’s.

Lorelei has been a daddy’s girl since day one. She would whine if I gave her a smooch while she was ‘busy’ but that’s not the case with dad, of course. She gave the same tiny smile she always gave, and looked up at Mathew like he was the best thing in the world. It was a sight that melted both of our new- parenting hearts, even though it sounds super cheesy.

After Lorelei had disregarded Marty, I put him in the corner of her crib, while Mathew took out new toys from her bin, to play with her.

“It’s going to be nap time soon,” I warned the both of them. Not that they were particularly listening, but Mathew gave a little nod which was enough affirmation for me. I took a seat back on the carpeted floor and watched my two favorite people be adorable.

A/N- okay this might totally suck, it’s my first blurb for Mathew so let me know if you have any feedback. Also my requests are open :) that’s all love you byeeeee 💖

#mathew gray gubler #mathew gray gubler x reader #mathew gray gubler headcanons #criminal minds #spencer reid #mgg fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #send requests! #criminal minds headcanons

[bengiyo]

BL 2023 Review

I wasn’t sure how I wanted to write about BL for this year. I was originally going to do a The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly framework for it, but that feels meaner than I actually am about it. Instead, I think I’ll just write out some sections and unpack some things I felt along the way.

I Watched Too Much Again

Last year I engaged with about 92 productions around the world. This year it was 99 (I tracked stuff I completed here). Sure I dropped 18 of them this year, but goddamn. The problem with watching as much as I did this year is that I worked full time this year and also maintained a separate hobby. I also continued my twice-weekly watch sessions with my friend Emily, so there are an additional 100-ish watch sessions in here of rewatching, plus a few other rewatches (Theory of Love and My Ride most notably).

One of my struggles at this point is I’m far too familiar with the genre, and find myself feeling impatient and irritable with shows that aren’t to my taste the way I used to. Throughout the late summer and fall I found myself increasingly grumpier about the genre, and it didn’t get better until I had a holiday and basically slept a day to get some energy back. I also found myself growing apart from fans I’ve known and followed a long time. It’s been a difficult year for me as a long-time fan because my tastes, habits, and friendships in the genre have changed even if the amount I watch hasn’t really.

I Wrote a Lot This Year

I recently converted my watch tag away from my gaming internet persona to just my shortname, so all near-1000 of my Stray Thoughts posts can be found under #ben watches now. I’ve also been going back and adding #ben writes to some of the standalone pieces that I really liked. In reviewing them, the pieces I’m happiest about are my ode to Framboise from Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to Be Recognized, my post begging everyone to watch La Pluie, my post about what it means to actually like queer men, my SBS ep 10 post that ended up being wrong, my post about the Lavender Scare and Be My Favorite, my Tokyo in April is… post about the breaking of the BL line,

However, the two posts I am most proud of is my half-joking response about why I think tagging each other back and forth across Tumblr in our writing is so important. and The Knowing: Being Queer in BL because I had so much great conversations with folks as a result of both of these posts.

Looking back at my own blog, this is probably the most active I’ve been in my entire time on this website, so thank you to everyone who interacted with me this year, because it really is people talking to me that gets me most inspired to write things down. Big shout out to @lurkingshan who will bug me repeatedly until I blog something that I said in passing.

We Started a Podcast!

After hanging out with @shortpplfedup since Bad Buddy, she got inspired and really wanted to bring something different to the BL podcasting sphere. I had time, and liked talking with her enough, so we started @the-conversation-pod. Now we’re a full year into it and planning out future stuff. It’s been so much fun being able to get things off my soul and break poor NiNi in our recording sessions.

From this year, I think my favorite episodes we did were The Moonlight Chicken Episode, the Eighth Sense episode, the ITSAY Anniversary Episodes,  The Wedding Plan episode, , and The Holiday Clip Show. Huge shout out to @ginnymoonbeam for anchoring the transcription process, and @lurkingshan for editing.

The VIIB Awards will begin airing soontm so look forward to that.

Favorite New Term: Business Gay Performance

Let’s be clear, Bump Up Business is not good. It is an obvious BL cash grab from OnlyOneOf that seeks to comment on the fake nature of BL while doing everything it can to trick the audience into believing that the BL pair is real.

Before we got deeper into this year, I was a big fan of a certain pairing, and then their fans took it too far and it affected the way I engaged with their performances and their work. I like that we have a new term for “fanservice” that communicates that you understand that this is for work. (thanks to NiNi for this comparison) I can look at the latest behind the scenes video from Last Twilight and say that I think Sea really understands the work they’re doing, and he and Jimmy have a very relaxed and mature version of BGP without feeling like I’m feeding into shipping.

Do I think they’re dating? No. Do I like the way they fake it? Absolutely!

I can look at one of @respectthepetty posts about Yin and War having personalized, color-coded mics, and we can talk about the next level BGP between the two and both communicate that we know that this is a performance.

It actually makes the extra PR work fun for me again, because now I can just shout “BGP! BGP! BGP!” and it not feel like I’m giving myself brainrot.

Thai BL Needs to Finish Stronger Next Year

Let’s get into some of the show stuff. This year was defined for me by Thai BL starting strong with good premises and then squandering them by not focusing on the details that mattered or leaning into baseless melodrama. Time for some reads. Some of these shows were generally good, but they failed at these things:

609 Bedtime Story: The world building crumpled in the back half and both endings are flat.

A Boss and a Babe: Cher is a pro gamer who worked for a gaming company and there was no plot point about this at all, or collaboration between the two groups.

Bake Me Please: Why was a show about cake so lacking in flavor?

Be Mine SuperStar: You had a real opportunity to explore a fan and idol romance and had Punn show so little growth. I hope the footage of First’s range is helpful now that Ja is out of BL.

Be My Favorite: You redid that whole amusement park date and muddled so much of what the hell happened on that day.

Between Us: You had years to make this interesting. Why are there five pairs and why is the end of this a JC Penny catalog photoshoot?

Dangerous Romance: What the fuck happened to the Sailom we had in episode 1 and 2 before that gun incident?

Hidden Agenda: Tee, what the hell was this? Twelve weeks of this?

I Feel You Linger in the Air: You may be the most beautiful show, with some of the most impressive performances of the year, but you absolutely botched this ending. Finish the goddamn season next time.

Love in Translation: I love you, but that whole kidnapping plot was so stupid at the end.

Low Frequency: I like your OST. That's about it.

My Dear Gangster Oppa: No examination about how gaming friendships become close quickly because of the combination of anonymity and teamwork (shout out to @twig-tea for this excellent summation).

My School President: Saving your gay commentary for the final episode felt like a conservative choice. I want more from you next time.

Naughty Babe: You retconned your own characters to tell a worse story. Unforgiveable.

Never Let Me Go: You didn’t know if you wanted to be a high school BL or a mafia story. It was difficult to watch.

Only Friends: I cannot believe you did Boston like that at the end. Either give Force’s character a clear personality next time, or keep him enigmatic; half measures make him and Book look worse. Sand was absolutely embarrassing. Boeing was a waste. Ending on all of them paired like that felt so unearned.

Step By Step: You forgot to ground Jeng’s external dreams at the end, so the final two episodes are just frustrating.

I’m glad I got that off my chest. We can go into the next year now.

Korea Put in the Work This Year

I really like the efforts from the various Korean studios this year. I really hope we get a Strongberry joint next year, but I want to acknowledge that we had 18 Korean BL dramas I watched this year, and at least three of them I think are must watches: Our Dating Sim, Sing My Crush, and The Eighth Sense. Beyond that, I think Love Tractor, Unintentional Love Story, and A Breeze of Love are easy recommendations.

It’s really impressive how the complaint for me this year with Korean BL is not about them using their time poorly. It’s more about normal drama concerns, where I think characterization is a little weak, or a theme doesn’t land squarely. This rapid iteration from the Korean studios is really impressive to watch, and I’m excited to see what some of the recognized players do next year.

Taiwan and The Philippines Have Been Quiet for Me

I wasn’t really able to connect with much from the Philippines this year except for The Day I Loved You. I never wrote about The Day I Loved You, but this beautiful and heart wrenching show is one of my favorites from this year. I wasn’t too keen on the Oxin Films offerings of this year, and I’m still chasing down the ones from The IdeaFirst Company.

As for Taiwan, this new BL project from the end of the year just isn’t hitting. Kiseki: Dear to Me also ended up really hurting me with the way they used Wayne Song and Huang Chun Chih. I love that angry little man with the white hair, but I’m still salty about Wayne and the general mess of that show.

Japan was Busy This Year

I watched 16 new shows, a few older ones, and a few movies this year from Japan. We haven’t gotten this much from them ever. I continue to love the Drama Shower project from MBS, and my beloved What Did You Eat Yesterday? returned this year. We had pretty stellar outings with Our Dining Table, If It’s With You, and I Cannot Reach You.

I think a third of the Japanese BL I’ve tracked on MDL actually released this year. That’s huge.

Still, I am going to side eye Minato’s Laundromat 2. You were the show that let me down the most this entire year. More than Only Friends, more than Step By Step, and even more than Kiseki. You absolutely blew it. You were telling a great story about a man with an acute case of internalized homophobia coming out of his shell and learning to love his younger partner and you blew it for stupid amnesia nonsense. I will never forgive you for this.

Where Were All the Uncles This Year?

Really, without Jim from Moonlight Chicken, and without the men from What Did You Eat Yesterday? we had an alarming dearth of older gay characters passing on knowledge and wisdom to the youngsters this year. What the hell happened?

Rare Dynamics Won: Second Chance Romance and Friends to Lovers!

We had so much second chance romance this year. It’s really my favorite version of gay romance because gays don’t always have ideal settings when they’re young. We had Our Dating Sim, Individual Circumstances, Jun & Jun, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, Be My Favorite, Love Class Season 2, and A Breeze of Love. I am satisfied.

Friends to Lovers is actually so rare in romance and we have so many to choose from this year! The best examples are I Cannot Reach You and Sing My Crush, but we also have one of the pairs in Love Class Season 2.

Gay Thoughts

I had a couple of ongoing thoughts this year about queerness in BL.

First, I want to return to my post about Sing My Crush and La Pluie, and how I assert that Men Need to Be Angry Sometimes. More than giving men grace to be righteously angry or upset about things, along with letting them express it in ugly ways, I really want to get into how we engage with these shows. I will stop engaging with moralistic reads on characters in 2024. I will no longer engage with asks, reblogs, or meta gripping the fandom where we're judging the moral fiber of the character.

The question that really only matters for me at this point is: Is this act from the character justified from their characterization, the narrative, or genre conventions; and is it interesting? Whether or not the character is good or bad reeks of the lame arguments about good and bad representation, and I am not watching BL like I’m being graded in Sunday school.

The second thing I really want to acknowledge at the end of the year is that the gay sex is finally getting better again. I watched The Novelist this year, and we have taken so long to get back to the space that show took us on the portrayal of male-male intimacy. We are in the genre about people with dicks. It should feel like it. There should be a masculine component there that feels specific to queer intimacy.

I will acknowledge 2 Cutie 2 Pie, A Boss and a Babe, Be Mine SuperStar, Bed Friend, Candy Color Paradox, For Him, I Cannot Reach You, Kiseki: Dear to Me, La Pluie, Love Class 2, Love in Translation, Love Mate, Middleman’s Love, Naughty Babe, Only Friends, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, and Wedding Plan for your contributions.

Final Thoughts

I like how broad the genre felt this year, and I enjoyed how much speculative fiction is entering into the conversation. I don’t know how I feel about there being five vampire stories in the works next year, but overall I’m glad that we’re getting more experimental concepts. I’m burnt out on the college engineering BL, and would like to see more shows about working adults.

Despite how grumpy I was for at least three months, I think this has genuinely been one of the best years we’ve ever had in the genre. I made a lot of new friends in BL this year, and I’m excited to see what comes next. Thank you all for spending some of your time with me this year and I’ll see you in the next one.

#Ben writes #best of bl 2023 #bl series #thai bl #japanese bl #taiwanese bl #filipino bl #korean bl #ben watches

[cephalonheadquarters]

mY dEAR O.R.C.A,

hi, orca! it’s been a while since i’ve visited alterna. i’ve been pretty busy with life stuff...turf practice, school, things like that, y'know? ever since i saved the world, life just hasn't felt the same for me after that. 0_0 i mean... i saved the world! what could possibly top that? haha

so...anyways, how are you? i figured you must be sorta lonely down in alterna...i'm not sure if i'm gonna be able to see your response or if you'll even get this, but i just thought it'd be nice to talk to you.

i miss you, 3

mY dEAR O.R.C.A,

hello again!! still unsure if these are going through, but that's okay. i like to think you can see these. i was wondering, have you ever seen the surface? probably, because there's pictures of the big crater thing in your alterna logs.

do you miss the surface? are you even able to leave? you're a computer, so like, could you just...jump to another computer on the surface? i think that would be awesome if you could, there's all sorts of things here in splatsville you can record! i assume you've just been recording the same things over and over again, and it sounds like it can get boring down there. i would love to show you what life on the surface looks like now!

i miss you, 3

mY dEAR O.R.C.A,

i'm alive!! sorry it's been a while since i've written (typed?) to you. i hope you didn't think i just abandoned you! i got caught up in a lot of stuff. oh! that means i haven't told you that i finally reached evp for my salmon run job!

speaking of salmon run, what'd you think of mr grizz? were you happy to see that at least one mammal survived..? did he ever even acknowledge you? do you think he's still out there, floating around in space? gosh, he must be so lonely...

i miss you, 3

P.S., little buddy already knows about my job. he doesn't really mind, for some reason..??

mY dEAR O.R.C.A,

do you know about the judds? i mentioned i still work a salmon run job last message, but you were probably confused about how it was still going when mr grizz is gone. well... turns out, li'l judd is running the whole thing now! i don't know why, but it's pretty funny to imagine such a little animal runs grizzco now. or would it be called juddco? li'l juddco?

oh yeah, the judds are also mammals! they're called "cats," and i was wondering if you know what cats are? did anyone have cats in alterna?

i miss you, 3

mY dEAR O.R.C.A,

did you ever have a best friend? was it the person that made you? i don't really know a lot about humans besides from what i've learned in school, but it surprises me they can be such compassionate creatures sometimes. not to be cheesy, buuut if they were able to be nice to animals, i don't know why they couldn't use that kindness to not fight each other all the time. haha, that's a little ironic coming from me, actually. considering i like to play turf and ranked. but those are real sports played for fun, so, nevermind! LOL

i miss you, 3

mY dEAR O.R.C.A,

do you like the music in alterna? you probably hear it a lot, huh. do you ever get tired of it? i could listen to it 24/7... did the humans purposefully make some of the entrance terminal music have bird noises? to remind them of the surface? whatever the reason, i think it sounds beautiful.

i miss you, 3

P.S., what's the song called, anyway?

#yeah i like orca yeah i write things but i rarely ever share them Lol. #my writing #o.r.c.a. #new agent 3 #neo 3 #splatoon

[boyfhee]

CLOSEST FRIEND AND MORE ⋆ pjs

prompt · “i don’t think i’ve ever felt the way i do with you with anyone else.” “what does that mean?” “what do you think it means?” · requested

g · fluff warnings · light profanities, mentions of injury wc · 0.8k

note · writer's block is real and it sucks

“and then, that bastard, that cheating lying bastard, blatantly lied in front of everyone and said that, i pushed him during the game. seriously— can you believe that?” a scoff falls off your lips and you recall the moments from your PE class this morning, which more or less morphed into a fight between you and one of your classmates who claims to have been pushed by you in a game of dodgeball and sprained his ankle when in reality, he practically launched himself towards you and all you did was step aside to save yourself. 

and jay, he’s hearing this story for the fifth time today, in different narratives from different people, with more colourful words for the said boy being served by them on a silver platter.

“no, i really can’t believe that,” he responds sarcastically, eyes focused on the evening sky and then the road as a soft smile rested upon his lips, throughout the walk from school to your place. 

“jay,” you slow down, the extra emphasis on his name to get a serious reply, making him turn to look at you. you stare at him for a second while he mirrors the same blank look at you, before a faint sigh slips off your lips. “you’ve been really quiet today, you know?” 

and not just today but for the past four to five days. jay is a quiet person, actually, but not quiet quiet, not the quiet where you hear six words maximum from him in twenty-four hours. you wouldn’t say you and jay are super close or the bestest of friends and yet still, you can hear him whisper from behind you during classes, making you laugh occasionally, sneaking notes from under the desks, everything that makes maths more bearable for you and everything whose absence for days now has you concerned. 

“is that so?”

“mhm, i almost forgot your voice,” which is an exaggeration on your part, but you’re pretty sure it would have come true had the silence game continued for a few more days. “are you okay, though? is there anything you’re worried about, anything you’d like to tell me?” 

a brief pause follows, a moment of silence yet again, filled with the shuffling of your footsteps on the pavement as he swings your hand back and forth, holding it a little tighter. “well, there is something i’m worried about but i can figure it out myself,” 

you step in front of him, getting a better look at his face and his eyes meet yours. “are you sure?”

“i am,” 

you see your house now, the first one as soon as you'd take the next left. walks with jay are less frequent. he’s either busy with his other friends or after school stuff that your homeroom teacher assigns him, much to his disappointment. walks with him are less often but are always fun, hands intertwined as you both take all the time in the world to cover the ten minutes walking distance from school to your house, since he insists on walking you home everyday. 

walks with him are less common, this might be your ninth or tenth time, but they’re already something you look forward to ever since you wake up. you realise that walks with jay might be the only chance to get to know him better, and thus, you take the opportunity. 

“i know you don’t like stressing people out with your own problems and you rarely talk about them, but i want you to know that you can rely on me,” the two of you finally stop in front of your house and you stand in front of him, taking both of his hands into yours. “you’re one of my closest friends, i’m here if you never need someone to listen to you,” 

he has known you for one month, barely, and you’re asking him to spill his worries to you as if they’re your own, but how does he tell you that you’re the reason he’s losing track of day, noon and night, wondering if there’s even a little chance that you feel the same way as he feels towards you? 

“i don’t think i’ve ever felt the way i do with you, with anyone else,” but the words escape his mouth, leaving him surprised too, as if he has lost control over his thoughts, letting his heart take over his mind, allowing it to make all the decisions. 

you feel your heart skipping beats and pacing relentlessly, quite sure going to pop out of your chest any second. “what does that mean?” 

how does he tell you that you’re the one making him worried with all these feelings that he has for you? 

“what do you think it means?” and the smile on your face morphs into hesitation, heat rising up your cheeks as he takes a step towards you. another string of silence follows as you try to come up with words, but before you could even sort out your thoughts, jay beats you to it. “see you tomorrow,” 

and that’s all he says before walking away, because you consider him one of your closest friends, so how does he tell you that he’s inexplicably in love with you, and that he wants to be something more? 

#—approved. #k-labels #enhypen #jay #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen reactions #enhypen drabbles #enhypen scenarios #jay fluff #jay x reader #jay imagines #jay reactions #jay scenarios #jay park #park jongseong #jongseong #jongseong x reader #jongseong fluff #jongseong imagines #jongseong scenarios

[jeridandridge]

Hardest of Hearts

Melissa helps you handle a life changing event. CW: talk of Abortion

A/N: This is a different angle on a trope we’ve seen many times. I decided to explore the other side of a very real situation.

On a Friday afternoon you sit at your usual table with Melissa and Barbara tapping away on your phone lost in your own thoughts. The senseless chatter from Janine and Jacob going on behind you doesn’t even register as you look at the test results on your phone screen.

“Hey you okay, hon?” Melissa sits looking at you concerned.

You can’t do anything but nod and give her a tight smile as your heart beats fast against your ribcage.

“Sweetheart, you look like you’ve seen a ghost. What’s wrong?” Barbara asks in the most comforting way only Barbara knows how.

Letting out a sigh you lock your phone and reach out for your water bottle instead. “I’m okay, really.” It was a lie, but none of your co workers needed to know your personal business. Especially Barbara and Melissa.

The redhead looks at you with something in her eyes that you cant place and you feel like you could cry right there. Being in love with the woman didn’t help your current situation. Getting up abruptly you give the group a tight smile as you gather your things. “I have some stuff to catch up on, you guys have a good weekend.”

As you walk out of the lounge you try to keep it together long enough to get up to your classroom. Looking at the clock you take a shaky breath realizing you have two hours left. It would be an easy rest of the day, you’d been letting the kids work on their own on a project anyway. You could make it.

As soon as your kids are gone you grab your bag and keys slipping out to your car before you can see any of your co workers in the hallway. On your drive away from Abbott you replay that day in your head. Melissa being mad at Gary all day. You planning on asking Melissa to dinner. Gary showing up at the last possible minute for a Valentine’s Day surprise. You meeting your friends at the bar. You going home with one of them. Now here you are pregnant according to your blood tests.

“Stupid.” You huff under your breath. You were always careful. Never hooking up with strangers, always using condoms. Now on your way home you come to the firm decision that you’re not ready to be a mother. You couldn’t even keep a plant alive. You had no right bringing a child into the world when you were still figuring your life out and living in a shoebox of an apartment.

Parking and going inside you lock yourself in for the weekend planning on trying to relax before making an appointment at the clinic for as soon as possible. That’s when you decide you’ll tell Melissa what’s going on. You might not have gotten the girl, but you did trust her with your life.

As the evening goes by, you receive a few texts from Melissa asking how you are and what’s going on but you leave your phone alone. Sitting with a book in your lap you try to escape reality for just a moment, only to be brought out of the story by a consistent knock on the door.

“I’m coming!” You call out getting off the couch. Looking through the peep hole you sigh when you see the redhead standing there with her hair up, hoodie on, and a bag in hand. Opening the door you keep your hand on the knob opening it just enough.

“Melissa, what are you doing here?”

“You’ve been acting weird and weren’t answering my texts so I thought I’d come by.” She shrugs holding up the bag from the store. “I brought treats and I miss you.”

Sucking in a breath you nod opening the door for her to come in. “I’ve been around,” you say softly.

“Yeah hon but something’s goin on. Can we talk about it?” She asks as you lock the door once more.

“There’s not much to talk about, Mel. Honest.”

Not believing a word you say yourself, it doesn’t shock you when the redhead looks at you with an unamused expression.

“Hon,” she sighs, “I don’t know what I did, but you’ve been kinda avoiding me all week, what’s goin on?”

Plopping down on the couch you bring your knees up to your chest, the redhead sitting across from you. God she was pretty.

“It’s not you, Mel. I swear. It’s a me thing and hopefully soon I won’t have to worry about it.”

Melissa reaches out gently cupping your cheek. For just a moment your eyes flutter shut as you enjoy the contact.

“You don’t have to lie to me. You’re talkin to the queen of hiding emotions.” She teases you with a small smile.

Taking a breath you gently reach for her hand removing it from your cheek so you can hold it, a gentle squeeze from the older woman grounding you.

“I’m only going to tell you this because we’re friends and I trust you with my life.” You start, your hands shaking as a cold sweat hits you.

“About a month ago, I went out and did something stupid. Now I’m pregnant.”

Melissa gently squeezes your hands.

“And I can’t keep it.” You let out as the tears start to burn your eyes.

“Oh hon,” she moves forward to hug you, but before she can you reach out resting a hand on her shoulder. The smell of her perfume hits your nose and that only adds to your

“If you hug me right now I think I’ll fall apart.” You all but plead with her.

The redhead nods putting her hands in her lap as you sit in front of her practically shaking.

“What can I do?” Is all she asks. And that’s when the dam breaks.

Tears fall down your cheeks in anger and sadness, undoubtedly making you look psychotic. You wished you could tell her everything, but you can’t. Not now.

“Take me to the clinic?”

The redhead looks at you with watery eyes nodding. “I got you.” She hums gently offering you her hand.

Reaching out you open your arms, finally ready for a hug as you calm your breathing. you hold onto Melissa like she’s your lifeline, a raft keeping you afloat in dangerous waters. She holds you as if you’re going to disappear into thin air.

From that moment on the weekend turns into a blur. That night you climb into bed with Melissa beside you, her hand rubbing soothing circles against your back through your shirt. You want to turn over and wrap around her but think better of it. You’re close enough, you won’t ruin it.

The next morning you wake up with Melissa’s arm wrapped around you and her front pressed to your back in a warm embrace beneath the blankets. When you shift you realize she’s already awake, moving back a bit to let you move.

“I’m sorry I’m ruining your weekend.” You hum moving to face her.

Jade eyes meet yours and soft pink lips curl into a small smile. “Don’t be sorry, hon. My weekend was gonna be crappy reality tv and grocery shopping.”

“Not doing anything with Gary?” You ask with a quirked brow.

“Oh that,” she hums. “Yeah that’s over.”

She says it so nonchalantly, you can’t tell if it’s a good thing or not for her.

“Oh.” Is all you say and that’s where that conversation ends despite you wanting to know more.

As the weekend goes on you’re pampered by Melissa. She makes sure you eat and stay hydrated, and is right by your side when the clinic calls you back in the afternoon.

“The earliest appointment possible would be great.” You hum into the phone as the redhead gently rubs your back. “Yes, thank you.”

Hanging up you set the phone down and tip your head back letting out a sigh of relief. “I’ll have to call in on Monday.”

“Don’t worry about it, let me handle it.” She says moving for her phone.

“What are you gonna say? It’s a little strange for both of us to need the morning off isn’t it?” You worry, hoping Ava doesn’t ask her too many questions.

“Let me handle Ava, hon. I won’t tell her anything personal.”

“I know you won’t.” You nod. “I just- yeah.” You lean against the counter bringing your hand to your forehead. Your mind was spiraling and you didn’t know how to stop it. Watching Melissa tap on her phone you look down at the floor zoning out.

“All set, hon.” She assures you with a warm smile. “Now what’s goin on over there?” She asks coming up to your side again.

“Nothing, just- thank you.” You tell her sincerely, hoping that’s enough for now.

As the clock ticks you toss and turn on Sunday night unable to calm down. Laying in the dark you sigh under the sheets. Melissa wraps her arm around you once more, brining you closer to her.

“Everything’s gonna be fine.” She gently squeezes you.

You don’t know when, but you manage to fall asleep even if it’s just for a couple hours. Waking up to the sound of your alarm going off you let out a huff staying in the warm bubble you and Melissa were in.

“Hon, you awake?” She hums reaching over for your phone turning the alarm off.

“I’m up.” You whisper not bothering to move from the tangle of legs and the arms you’re being held in. “Thank you, for all of this, Mel.” She can think you just mean being there or taking you for your procedure, but this very moment is enough.

“I’m honored you trust me, hon.” She hums kissing your temple. “We should get moving.”

Knowing she’s right you yawn, sitting up and stretching out as you both get up for the day ahead. Brushing your teeth and washing your face you and Melissa move around your tiny bathroom comfortably as if you do this all the time.

“Did they tell you what to do for aftercare or anything?” She asks brushing out her curls.

“Basically no strenuous activity, I’m gonna have a little bit of bleeding and discomfort.” You shrug trying to play it off. Deep down you were scared of what to expect after, but you knew this was the right decision. Having Melissa at your side even if you haven’t told her your feelings is enough.

“When we get back you’re not doing a damn thing.” She tells you in a voice that tells you not to argue. “Take a nap and let me cook.”

“Well I can’t tell a Schemmenti to stay out of a kitchen now can I?” You joke through a nervous laugh.

“Especially after something like this.” She nods moving through the room to get her boots on.

Watching her from the bathroom you take everything in. The lamp in the room is dim, and her hair cascades down her back in red waves. With everything she’s done for you, you’re not sure how long you can keep your feelings to yourself.

“Mel, can I tell you something?” You asks keeping your eyes on the doorframe.

“Hon, at this point you can tell me anything.” She chuckles tying her laces.

“I’ll understand if you change your mind about taking me this morning. But I need to get this out before I go in there.” You let out in a shaky breath.

Melissa stands back up coming over to you gently taking your hands in hers. “You can tell me whatever you need to tell me. I ain’t goin anywhere.” She promises.

Looking at your fingers laced with hers, you take a deep breath before you meet those gorgeous green eyes again.

“I- this is horrible timing.” You laugh sadly shaking your head.

Melissa lets go of one hand reaching up to gently tip your chin up. “Are you gonna tell me or should we get ready, go, and talk about us when you’re feeling better?” She asks you as if she already knows. The way she looks at you tells you she knows.

Swallowing hard you nod, keeping your hand in hers.

Something shifts. The fear you had starts to lift as you walk out to her car a little while later. In your sweatpants and hoodie you sink into the passenger seat with your bag and water bottle taking deep breaths.

Watching the redhead get in the car she settles herself and starts it up, pulling out of your apartment complex. Going through the streets it’s relatively quiet in the city, some people are just going home and some are getting ready for a long day. As you get closer to the clinic you feel Melissa’s hand on yours stilling your shaking you hadn’t realized was happening.

“Is Barb gonna hate me?” You ask quietly, thinking of how you dragged her best friend into this mess. She was a Christian woman after all.

“Barb doesn’t need to know your business,” Melissa shakes her head. “But if you do tell her, she’s Barb, hon. She’s not gonna hate you ever. Especially when you’re with me.” She squeezes your hand with a soft smile.

The rest of the drive goes fine after that. You do your breathing and hold Melissa’s hand, only looking up as you pull into the lot where you were instructed to go to. Parking, Melissa gets out with you giving you a sense of relief. “I told ya I’m not goin anywhere.”

And sure enough she doesn’t. Through the paperwork and exam process, Melissa is by your side holding your hand. When you wake up from the procedure she’s there in the waiting room as you’re pushed out in the wheel chair. The kind nurse that was there from the start takes you out to the car making sure you get in safely with Melissa’s help.

Sitting groggy and sore you look at Melissa through the window with hooded eyes as she speaks to the woman, realizing you fell for her for all the right reasons. The drive home is a slow one. Melissa takes her time making sure to avoid as many potholes as possible, driving cautiously enough to have people honking at her.

“Yeah yeah go around me.” She rolls her eyes.

“Don’t use the car bat.” You mumble the joke out, eyes still closed in the passenger seat. When you wake up to Melissa carefully opening the car door you feel her hand stroking your cheek.

“Hon, cmon let’s get you inside.”

Sitting up you blink a couple times, swinging your legs out of the car you wince as you get up.

“Nice and easy.” She encourages wrapping her arm around your waist.

Leaning into her you walk slower than usual into the building. You were happy you had an elevator. Up to your apartment Melissa keeps you close, keeping her arm around you as you unlock the door.

“Let’s get you to bed, hon.”

“Come with me?” You ask quietly, as if she hadn’t already told you she knows how you feel about her. She was so understanding of everything and on top of that you were so tired you could cry.

The redhead nods, gently rubbing your back as you go back to where you started your day just a couple hours ago. Getting your shoes off Melissa helps you lift your legs onto the bed, putting the blanket over you. Laying there in your still dark room you wait for the redhead to join you, her arms immediately going around you as she lays down.

When you feel her lips meet your temple in a soft kiss you let out a content sigh, drifting off to sleep with your hand over hers.

#abbott elementary #Melissa Schemmenti x reader #Melissa Schemmenti #lisa ann walter #wlw #Melissa Schemmenti x you

[twigg96]

Hello my sweet lovelies. I’ve been trying to write some more Daryl X Y/N and thought what better way to get started than doing the Fluffy and Naughty Alphabet HCs! 😊 so please enjoy the start to my little 52 HC journey!

Daryl Dixon’s Fluffy Hc Alphabet:

A - Attractive (what about their partner do they like most?)

Daryl loves a partner that cares a lot about other people. Those who put themselves before the betterment of the group are not people who Daryl can ever get along with. He finds kindness, compassion, honesty, and openness attractive in particular.

B - Banter (How do they tease each other? Is it always friendly/ flirtatious or does it turn nasty?)

Daryl doesn’t conventionally tease his partner. But in an unconventional world he thinks their version of teasing fits right in. Instead of the jovial picking other couples do, Daryl will often come over and say nothing but simply take a bite out of his partner’s food, smiling devilishly as he continues on his duties. While walking on patrol together, Daryl and his partner will go from walking hand in hand to playfully bumping each other to shoving each other off the path and into the plant life that lives along the side of the road. Neither partner can always read the other’s emotions so if Daryl is in a dark head space he will lash out if his partner tries to tease him. The same however can be said too for his partner.

C - Cute (Cuddles, Handholding, Sweet Touches, Caresses, Sneaky Moves)

Mr. Dixon is not into PDA. He doesn’t like people having the upper hand on him with information that could be used against him. Plus he’s really really busy a lot of the time. It’s not until the pair are alone either in the darkness of the night or shrouded in the forest that he allows himself to become more vulnerable. Taking his partner’s hand when there are no Walkers about he rubs his thumb over the back of their hand as he whispers plans about the day to come.

In the dead of night he’ll pull his lover close letting them cuddle close to his chest. He’d run his fingers through their hair. It would be a peaceful silence with a few shared kisses simply listening to their shared breaths and heartbeats. As sleep over takes them both and the last thing either of them hear is “I love you” from either partner.

But Daryl isn’t all innocent and shy all the time. Sometimes when things are good he’ll come around and smirk at his partner as they work. Walking up as they bed over he pinches their ass and covers their mouth telling them to meet him in the house in ten minutes.

D - Dates (What kind of dates do they like to take their partners on Are they creative with their date ideas?)

In the post apocalypse there isn’t really time for what we would consider real dates. There is no movie theater. No restaurants. No Pools. No beach. No hotels. Daryl couldn’t do the things he really desperately craved to do with his partner and it killed him. This topic has sparked more fights in your relationship than either of you would ever care to admit. Daryl wanted to provide for you and take you out on real dates. You however saw the sweet scenic bike rides you both took as date enough. His partner saw scouting ahead on a peaceful day as a date. Or even just doing nothing within the walls talking about everything. Eventually you both agree to disagree.

E - Eat (Do they have similar tastes in food or do they share food at the dinner table? I. E. Swapping the tomatoes on the burger for the pickles on their partner's chicken sandwich)

There is no room to be picky after the turn. With good food so scarce if someone didn’t like dinner that night they just didn’t eat. But Daryl hated it when his partner didn’t eat. So he went out of his way to find food they liked when dinner was something he knew they wouldn’t like. He’d offer them the stuff they like off his plate and took the food they didn’t like. No problems or fuss. He loved you.

F - Fire (What drives them the most in the relationship?)

Seeing you survive. Daryl couldn’t live with himself if he ever lost you. And he knew that it was unrealistic to try and expect that his partner would live well past when he would live. That he would die long before his partner and be waiting wherever it was on the other side for them. But it made him so sick thinking about the opposite so he simply did his best to keep you safe.

G - Generosity (How do they show their partner they care?)

Daryl was extremely caring in his love. He may not always show it or even say it but he is always thinking about his partner’s wellbeing. He looks for safer paths to take when they scout together, ones they can’t be ambushed on or that are easier to walk on. He always checks you over for cuts and bruises when he sees you before hugging you too tight or kissing you. He is on high alert outside of the camp at all times ready to protect. He gives his food to you when you need it.

H - Hot Head (Are they quick to anger? Are they spiteful in a fight? Will they say things they don't mean just to piss their partner off? Or are they easy going?)

Oh sweet lord. Yes. This man is a hot head. He is like a volcano. Full of anger and negative emotions that when placed under pressure will make him explode and cover other in the anger and negativity. But understand that this is a product of a horrifically broken home. He tries like hell to keep from erupting all over you. But sometimes it just happens and he never means for it to get as out of hand as it gets.

Daryl gets mean when he’s pissed. He gets nasty and spiteful. He will pull up shit from past fights just to fuel the fire of the argument and keep it going until he feels like you’re just as pissed off at him as he is at himself.

Whatever you do… do not give this man alcohol and expect him to be ok. He is an angry drunk and has no self control. He will get into an argument sometime into the night and it will be more than either of you can handle.

I - Interest (What are some of the interests they may share?)

Before the turn you both enjoyed bike rides and the occasional night out.

But now that the turn happened, you both like the time you spend together hunting and scouting. You both love providing for your camp. And you both still love riding.

J- Jealousy (Are they the Jealous type? How would they act if they were?)

Sweet God yes he’s very jealous! He trusts Rick more than anyone in the group but he looses his mind when you walk into Rick’s house alone to babysit Judith alone to just let the ex-cop sleep. One time when you all first moved to Alexandria a guy outside the walls approached you, Daryl, and Aaron asking if you wanted to go with two real men for a night of “fun”, Daryl beat him into a bloody pulp for thinking about it.

K- Kids (Do they want kids?)

Yes. If the world had never changed. If the dead never walked. He would give you all the children in the world, even though the thought of being a dad scared him more than anything. But now. He worried about the life his children would live. He worried for their safety. He wanted them so much but to put them through hell just because of his selfishness… he didn’t know if it was right.

L - Likes (Favorite things about relationship and partner)

Daryl loved waking up next to his partner each morning. He loved looking into his partner’s eyes and knowing that silent communication was all they needed. He loved the feel of their hand on his telling him it was ok. He loved knowing that without gaining to look you always had his back and he had yours. He loved feeling safe and secure for the first time in his life and he hoped with all he had he gave them the same feeling.

M- Marriage (Are they interested in getting married at all?)

At one point before the turn he actually bought a ring for his partner. He wanted to marry them and do the whole family thing. But once the turn happened that all got shoved onto the back burner. And while you and Daryl never really “got married” you both consider yourselves one step above boyfriend and girlfriend in this new life. Whatever that means to you both and no one opposed it.

N- No (Pet Peeves in a relationship)

Daryl refuses to tolerate a partner who intentionally hurts someone he loves. Betrayal is something he’d been through a lot in his life and he can’t imagine if his partner ever betrayed him.

Letting Daryl protect you is crucial. He can’t stand to loose you and if your constantly throwing yourself into harms way even when he advised you not to it will spark arguments

He must truly and fully trust his partner in their entirety. He wants full honesty from them. If they lie once he considers it a complete breach of trust and it will take a long time to heal that.

O - Orange (What color reminds them of their partner?)

Blue - he sees his partner as the color blue. They are truthful, merciful, loving, tranquil. They remind him of the sky on a clear day. They are calming and serine and they always manage to make him smile even when he wants to scream. He thought of you in his darkest times and felt the most free from all his problems.

P - Proposal (How would they or how did they propose?)

If Daryl would have gotten the chance he would have gotten down on one knee in your favorite spot after a long bike ride feeling you pressed up against his back.

But now it was in the Prison that you two talking jokingly about marriage. What it must have been like to do such a thing and have children. Daryl pulls an old ring on a chain out from behind his shirt. It’s aged. A little tarnished. He tells you about his failed plan. Smiling he tells you that he kept the ring as a piece of you to hold close you his heart.

Q - Queen (King) (What traits makes them a KING or a QUEEN?)

He is the ultimate King! Daryl goes out of his way to make sure that his partner is well taken care of and happy.

God forbid the day that the two of you are ever separated either by accident like at the Prison or by force. He will put his body through the ultimate test and hell in order to get back to you. Everything that stands in his way are simply obstacles to overcome. Day and night he will search until he finds you and if someone has you... god rest their soul.

He is always willing to share. Food, heat, shelter, water, medicine... whatever you need in order to survive.

Daryl can communicate with his partner with just a look. He loves them whole heartedly. He can just feel when something is wrong. It's like a sixth sense. No words are ever needed to be said. However he is always willing to listen if you need to talk.

Family is direly important to him. If you ever were to start one with him he would become all the more protective.

R - Rain (What was the most romantic gesture they have ever done for their partner?)

He made you a necklace...

The day that a good friend of yours turned...you were heartbroken and distraught. You refused to leave your cot in the prison for a full day. You had seen it before. You had even seen other friends turn and it affected you but never like this. Daryl hated seeing you like this. So taking a walk and giving you space he started looking. Looking for things that reminded him of you... Of brighter days. It was then he realized... that was exactly what you needed.

And so he started to look for things to brighten you. To make you smile. Things that reminded you of your lost friend based entirely off of stories you told of them. He found a shiny stone deep in a river bed recounting the tale you told him of the day you and your friend went tadpole hunting when you were young, splashing each other with the mud. A blueish black feather laid perfectly on a rock and reminded him of the myths his mother used to say about the crows and ravens bringing peace to those who grieve. A discarded bear tooth reminded him of the first time you had introduced him to your friend, the three of you hunting into the evening only to find a hare and two squirls.

Tying his treasures onto a long piece of twine he fashioned a necklace and brought it home to you placing it around your neck and telling you it would all be alright.

S- Smooches (Who gave the first kiss? When do they kiss their partner? How often do they kiss their partner?)

Having met Daryl before the turn, you both had more than your fair share of kisses. But your first one... well Daryl claims it was an accident. A heat of the moment reaction of passion.

Merle had been hounding you all day. He had known you were dating Daryl but to him it was just a word until he saw the proof. You were outside with Daryl at the time. Watching him work on Merle's POS truck when Merle came home from work on his bike. The older Dixon immediately swooped in and tried to get fresh. Playing grab ass and trying to get you to go inside with him. Daryl flipped his shit. Throwing the tools to the ground Daryl flew into a rage, pushing Merle away from you and into the house. He was still pacing for 20 minutes before you were able to get him to look at you. Before you could say anything he grabbed you by the hips and pulled you close, gripping your hair and kissing you deeply, muttering that you were his and his alone and if any man touched you like that again he'd cut their hand off. Needless to say he didn't get done with Merle's truck...

Now that the world is upside down Daryl tries to be more purposeful with his kisses, he wants them to mean something if they're the last they are ever to share as a couple. It was hard for his partner to understand at first... but he explained that he would hate it if he kissed his partner simply to end a fight no other meaning behind it and something happened. He wanted passion and romance behind his every action while they had the time.

T - Travel (Do they like to travel with their partner? Where do they dream of traveling to?)

God... does Daryl want to travel with his partner. He often dreams of the days before the turn. Dreams of taking you to far away places. Safe places. But the world is no longer that place... and so he tries to stay realistic in his waking life. Safety means stability. If he can have a stable life with you then he can start a family... He simply wants a safe stable place to settle... but he knows that may not always be possible. And so he roams looking for the perfect place for you both to live out your days.

U- Universal (How Public are they with their affection? Are they very open with PDA? Do they brag about their partner?)

Daryl is incredibly reserved. He always has been. He doesn't like the attention that PDA brings. He would much rather recede to the privacy of the forest or a darkened room/hallway than to make his move in front of the others. If Daryl was ever to talk about his personal life it would be to Carol (for advice and advice only about his partner's wellbeing) or Rick (To ask for dating advice/ and maybe to brag)

V- Valentines (First holiday together. How did they prepare? How did they celebrate?)

While holidays no longer exist and have no meaning after the turn, he often thinks to the only holiday he ever got to spend with his partner, properly.

It was Christmas. A holiday he and Merle had long since forgotten. One they had abandoned long before either of them were out of primary school but still knowledgeable enough to decipher that Santa Claus was a classist jackass. You had insisted they each give it a shot. For you. No religion involved just free shit. Daryl was hesitant. He didn't want to be disappointed again. Merle however was defensive. He wanted nothing to do with the holiday and often ridiculed the entire idea of it in it's entirety. But... the two relented after hearing that you would be cooking for them all weekend long. Merle complained and bitched the entire time you decked the halls of their trailer. "This sparkle shit better come out of my God damned carpets! I don't need ta find it in June!" You couldn't find a tree at a price any of you could afford but Daryl cut the biggest limb off a nearby pine and hoped it would be good enough. You were able to make stocking for each of the boys and on christmas eve you stuffed them with gifts and laid their presents under the makeshift tree. In the morning... they both stared at you nervous and akward. Like they both wanted to move and tear into shit but were scared they'd get in trouble. So you sat them down and handed them gifts. It wasn't much. You were working with a waiter's salary... but it was more meaningful to either of them than you ever knew. When Merle growled, embarrassed he didn't get you anything you simply said that spending the day with them meant more to you than any gift and you thought... for a second, that you watched both men's hearts grow three sizes that night.

W- Wicked (What do they do that purposely pushes their partner's buttons?)

Daryl will pull shit up from the past and use it against his partner to start a fight. He does this the most when he's feeling shitty about himself or a situation he's in and can't fix. He wants his partner to be just as upset and angry at him as he is with himself.

He has a really... really bad drinking problem. He is a mean drunk. If he wants he will find alcohol and drink in front of his partner knowing they hate it when he acts vindictive and hateful.

He gives the best silent treatment in the entire apocalypse. He could exist completely silent for literal weeks. (please do not mistake his need for space with the silent treatment. He gets over stimulated a lot and needs space)

Straight up disappears for days without ever telling his partner where he's going or when he'll be back. This gets worse after the Sanctuary.

Calls them pet names they despise (this is normally in retaliation to pet names they give him)

X- Xylophone (What song fits the relationship?)

Y- Yearning (When do they miss their partner the most? What do they do to placate themselves in the mean time?)

Daryl misses his partner so much when he's out on a run that lasts longer than a day. He worries about them constantly. If he can't bring them then he tries to bring a part of them, something to remind him of them. A trinket he can worry until he can get home. But if he can't or it's an emergency and he didn't have time. He always has a matching tattoo on his arm that you both got on your one year to remind him to come home to you...

Z- Zipper (Do they let their partner pick their outfits?)

If you find clothes that fit him out on runs he'll look at them and choose to wear them or not. Sometimes you bring home baby clothes to pick on him when he's being a big baby bitch. Other times you bring him clothes you know he's never going to wear just to fuck with him. He never says it out loud but he thinks this is funny.

#fluffy headcanons #fluffy headcannon alphabet #twd #the walking dead #the walking dead daryl #daryl dixon #daryl dixion x reader #daryl x reader #twd daryl #daryl twd #daryl x you #daryl dixon x reader #daryl x y/n #daryl hc #daryl dixion imagine #daryl dixon x you #daryl dixon fluff #spotify

[jadeittic]

TBJZL—f!reader instagram au

note: this one SUUUUCKS. anyway here u go

yourinstagram

liked by tobjizzle, loganlerman, and others

yourinstagram week off work

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ynlnupdates

liked by username and others

ynlnupdates YN LN spotted with mystery man in London, UK.

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sidemen

liked by yourinstagram, vikkstagram, and others

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See you at 2:15 pm (BST) 🫡

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yourinstagram NO

ynlnupdates

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ynlnupdates YN LN at the London Stadium today.

view all 109 comments

username What’s she there for?

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sidemen

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sidemen SDMN FC are your 2023 charity match winners.

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username TAREQ UNDERRATEDDD 

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tobjizzle

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tobjizzle What a day! ⚽️❤️ From the bottom of my heart, thank you 🙏🏿

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vikkstagram Heroic stuff

username IS THAT YN LN

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yourinstagram

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username YN

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likes and reblogs are appreciated!!! thank u for reading :)

#tbjzl x reader #tbjzl x you #tbjzl imagine #tobi brown x reader #tobi brown x you #sidemen x reader #sidemen x you #sidemen imagine #jadeittic

[staytheword]

make it a home

make it a home — one shot request by @allypasta 💚 [ general masterlist ]

• changbin x gn reader.

• non idol au. established relationship. fluff. domestic stuff. cuddling. no smut. a little suggestive. use of "babe" and "baby".

• word count: 3k

Your boyfriends wants to travel with you. But first, he wants to make your place a real home.

• note: the request was "an absurd amount of fluff", that is, "so much fluff it hurts". I don't know if it does, but I've definitely hurt myself with the fluff. GAH. I hope you like it and thank you for the sweet request &lt;3

You ease yourself in Changbin’s arms, your nose grazing his skin. Your head is nestled in the crook of his neck, his body enveloping yours. On the television is a random travel show that you’ve put on to fill the room with noise. You are too busy cuddling to really pay attention to it, appreciating your boyfriend’s warmth and the steady movement of his chest as he breathes. He’s just come out of the shower, so his skin smells of soap and body wash, and his hair is damp, curling messily on his head. He’s wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, as well as the wool socks you’ve given him recently because he kept complaining his feet were always cold. You’re wearing a hoodie as well, one of his, that smells of his aftershave, the black material soft against your skin. 

When Changbin’s voice erupts from the quiet, you realize you’ve been dozing off on his shoulder. 

“We should go there,” he says. His eyes are fixed on the television so you figure that unlike you, he’s been paying attention to the show. 

You glance at the screen, watching the host wander around the streets of a European city, and smile softly. “You think?” 

Changbin nods. “Looks beautiful. And I’ve never been to that part of the world.” 

“Me neither,” you admit. “I’ve never been anywhere, actually.” 

Your life has never really allowed you to travel - but you’ve been able to save some money recently, and the dream actually feels like a possibility. 

You shiver as Changbin places a kiss on the top of your head. “I want to go there with you,” he whispers, his voice low, like he wants the words to only belong to you. “You can wear your yellow sunglasses… We can eat ice cream all day.” 

“I think our bellies would hurt, baby,” you chuckle, cupping his cheek in your hand, caressing his face. 

He pouts, but his smile isn’t far, and he leans it to steal a tender kiss from your lips. You hum as his hand slides around your neck to settle on the back of your head, holding it gently. His other hand is still settled on the small of your back, sneaked under your hoodie to touch your skin.

“Your hands are warm,” you whisper to him. 

“Yours aren’t,” he chuckles. 

You exchange a few kisses, Changbin playing with your hair, your body relaxing even further against his, and you swear you could fall asleep right there. Changbin leans back after a while, tightening his arms around you, pulling you closer. Your limbs are intertwined on the couch, the lights are dim, and the curtains are drawn to shield you from the outside. Safe. Warm.

“But before we go away, there’s something we have to do,” Changbin says decidedly, twirling a strand of your hair around his finger. 

“Hmm, what?” 

“We need to make this place our own,” he answers, one of his hands gesturing to the apartment surrounding you. “We’ve barely settled in since we moved.” 

You take a long look around. You have to admit he’s right - you might have unpacked all of your boxes, but your things look like they were just thrown here and there without any real thought. You know there are paintings you have to hang up, small renovations you’ve wanted to take care of for a while. But you moved in the middle of a hectic period and everything seemed like it could wait - except months have gone by and you haven’t made it a home yet. 

“I know I was supposed to take care of the bookshelves weeks ago…” you admit sheepishly. 

Changbin sits up a little to take a better look at you, shaking his head. “It’s just not on you, babe. How about we do this together? We’ll move the furniture around, maybe paint… Get some house plants.”

You laugh, nodding your head. “Hm… I like it. Although I’m sure our house plants would die very quickly.” 

Changbin shrugs. “Then let’s kill house plants together.” 

You snort. “How romantic you are, Seo Changbin.” 

“You know me,” he smirks, pulling you back into his arms. 

He covers one of your cheeks with kisses and it quickly starts tickling, so you cry out, struggling to get out of his grasp, but he’s stronger than you. You giggle hysterically as you beg him to stop - and of course, he doesn’t.

The next weekend, you wake up early and spend more than an hour at the local hardware store choosing a new color for your bedroom walls. Changbin wants yellow, you want blue, so you eventually settle on a mint green. When you get home, you move most of the furniture of your bedroom, leaving the bed and covering it with plastic. You slip on old t-shirts, put on your favorite playlist on the bluetooth speaker, and you spend the afternoon singing along and painting the walls. It takes much longer than it should, of course, because Changbin and you keep teasing each other, painting hearts and messages instead of doing it appropriately. 

By the end of the afternoon only the first layer is done, your sides and cheeks hurt from laughing, and you’re starving. You prepare two bowls of fried rice as Changbin folds the laundry, and you eat as you brainstorm a possible new disposition for your living room. Caught up in your project, you almost forget to finish your bowls. 

Hours later you fall back on the couch, appreciating your hard work. The room feels much more cozy this way. You are exhausted, and after cuddling in front of the television for a while, you decide to head to bed. 

“Oh…” you let out, stopping in front of your bedroom. 

The bed is still covered in plastic, the room smelling of fresh paint. You peck your lips, turning to Changbin. 

“We can’t sleep in there,” you moan, putting a hand against your forehead. “What are we going to do?” 

Changbin is frowning, nibbling at his lips. Then, he gives you a smirk and lifts an index. 

“I have an idea. Go get ready, I’ll prepare everything.” 

He gives you a quick kiss, and you watch him walk away excitedly. You decide to let him surprise you like he wants - he loves to do such things - and you head to the bathroom. After your daily routine of skincare, you brush your teeth. Your dresser is in the hallway, and you change into your pajamas before heading over to the living room. 

“Can I come in?” you ask, smiling. 

“Yeah!” 

You enter the living room, gasping slightly. Changbin has removed the couch cushions to put them down on the floor and has covered them with what seems like all the blankets you own. The lamp is off, and only the string lights illuminate the room. With all the pillows and cushions, the setting looks incredibly cozy. You grin, meeting Changbin’s expecting gaze. 

“That’s so perfect, Bin,” you say to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. You press your nose against his firm chest - if there’s one thing you’ll never get tired of, it’s the way Changbin hugs you.

He hugs you back, his cheek squished against your head. “I’m glad you like it, babe.” 

You ask yourself how you got so lucky. Ever since your first date, Changbin has been the romantic type. You expected it to sizzle out at some point, but even after more than a year together, it still hasn’t. He keeps surprising you, being attentive, imaginative, and thoughtful. 

Changbin moves a little, unwrapping his arms from around you, but you grab his shirt, letting out a soft groan. 

“Nope,” you whisper. “You’re not going anywhere.” 

He laughs, and his body vibrates against yours. “I just need to get changed, babe, okay? Then we can cuddle.” 

You pout. “Promise?” 

“Only if you promise not to fall asleep without me,” he warns you amusingly, pulling himself out of your grasp with a broad grin on his face. He kisses your hand. “My little koala.”

“Come back quickly,” you cry out dramatically as he walks away.  

You smile as you hear his laugh echo against the walls, and slide under the covers. The couch cushions are soft and comfortable, but you’ve taken more than enough naps on it not to be surprised. With your head on the pillow, and the dim lights, you feel yourself drift off too quickly - but you made a promise to Changbin and you are determined to enjoy his warmth next to yours before you fall asleep. 

You won’t fall asleep.

You won’t. 

“Babe?” 

The voice startles you awake, and you blink furiously to see Changbin’s amused face next to yours. 

“Did you fall asleep without me?” he scowls at you, although he has a playful smile on his face. 

You frown, clearing your throat. “No, I didn’t.” 

But you both know that you did, and Changbin chuckles, wrapping your body around his, keeping you close.

“Traitor,” he whispers in your ear. He tickles your side a little and you squirm. 

“I didn’t! I swear I didn’t!” 

“Oh, so you’re a traitor and a liar?” he teases you, his fingers digging into the skin of your waist, making you a little dizzy. 

You quickly kiss him, dancing with his plump lips. Changbin laughs, but he doesn’t pull away, answering to your kisses with the same energy. 

“Trying to bribe me too?” he adds in between two kisses, his breath hot against your skin as he grazes your earlobe with his lips. 

You arch against him and you nod mischievously. Neither of you can stop smiling, and you take a second to admire him in the soft orange glow of the room. His curly hair, his dark eyes, the scar on his chin. Your hands explore his naked chest. You love to do it although you’re used to seeing it, as Changbin rarely sleeps with a shirt on. 

“What should I do with you?” he breathes softly, his thumb caressing the bare skin of your shoulder next to the straps of your tank top. 

“I think you should kiss me again,” you answer, tracing his lips with the tips of your fingers. 

Changbin bites his lips, eyes sparkling. “I think you should be on dishes duty for the next week.” 

“What!” you say, erupting into laughter. “And here I was, trying to be romantic.”

He shrugs. “Who says doing dishes isn’t romantic?” 

“Hm, everyone.” 

Changbin smiles, never looking away from you. You could get drunk on the feeling alone - he just has this way of looking at you like you’re the only person in the world. Like he has never seen anything more precious. It tugs at your heartstrings, making you fall in love with him more and more each second. 

“I just love looking at you,” he adds. “Whatever you do, whether it’s doing the dishes, getting dressed, drinking your coffee… That little frown you get when you scroll your phone. Whatever it is, I just like to look at you.” 

You don’t know what to say - the butterflies in your stomach are in a fury, and you have stopped breathing. 

“Changbin…” you whisper.

“I guess I’m weird,” he states.

You nod, although your heart is beating so fast it almost hurts. “Definitely.” 

As you kiss him again, and as he rolls you on your back, his hands exploring your body, you let out the words that make the most sense to you.

“I love you, Bin. You’re everything to me,” you breathe.

He kisses you deeper.

You sit up in bed, lazily stretching your arms. A yawn escapes your lips as you glance beside you. Changbin’s spot is empty, and the sheets do not feel warm under your palm, so he has been up for a while. You rub your eyes, feeling in absolutely no hurry to get up - it’s the weekend and you have nothing planned for the rest of the day. Your boyfriend is probably gaming, or maybe he’s continuing the reorganization of his vinyl collection he started the night before. 

You glance at the mint green walls around you with a smile. It’s taken you a little time to get used to the color, but you adore it. You especially like the huge framed photo that you’ve hung on the wall facing the bed - it’s the picture of a sunny forest Changbin sent you when you had just started dating. He had been away on a camping trip with a friend and had thought of you - that’s what he had said. When you saw him next you had kissed him for the first time. 

The floor feels cold under your feet as you head to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, Changbin’s hoodie on your shoulders. The apartment feels strangely silent, and you realize that Changbin is not here. You don’t remember him having plans, though. 

“Bin?” you call with a frown. No answer.

You go around the apartment, but it quickly becomes clear that Changbin is not in. You’re not necessarily worried, he might have just stepped out for a quick errand, but usually he leaves a note or a text. You try not to get worried as you watch the coffee drip in your favorite mug, wondering if you should give him a call. 

As you decide to do so, the front door of the apartment opens and closes. You meet Changbin at the door, letting out a relieved sigh. 

“There you are,” you say.

He smiles at you, looking adorable with his cheeks red from the morning cold. “Sorry, koala. I thought I’d make it back before you woke up.” 

“It’s ok. Where have you been?” You ask.

“Just getting something.” 

He removes his black hat, leaving his hair in disarray, and shrugs off his jacket. You realize there’s a brown bag on the floor next to his feet, but when you try to glimpse into it, Changbin blocks your path. 

“Hey, hey,” he chuckles. “Let me prepare my surprise.” 

You squint your eyes, taking a sip of your coffee. “What are you planning?” 

“Absolutely nothing,” he chants, giving your forehead a kiss. “Can I have one, too?” He points to your mug. 

You know it’s just a way of making you leave so he can prepare whatever he is planning, but you’re still curious and you don’t mind playing the game. You push your index against his chest playfully. 

“I know you’re planning something,” you warn, but Changbin only smirks. 

You go back to the kitchen and prepare him a cup of coffee, trying to hear what he is doing in the living room. He’s being silent, however. You are nervous, but you can’t help but smile. When he steps into the room, he’s holding something behind his back and you bite your lip in excitement. 

“We were missing something important,” he says. “Something very important.” 

“What are you talking about?” you ask, chuckling. 

Changbin smirks. “Well, we bought the watering can the other day, but…” He reveals what he is hiding - it’s a small house plant in a clay pot, with dark green leaves, the earth looking a little dry. You gasp and grin. 

“The house plant!” you laugh. “Is this the one we are going to kill?” 

Changbin puts it down on the kitchen island, sliding a hand around your waist. “Don’t say it too loud. She doesn’t know what’s coming for her.” 

“She?” 

“Her name is Mrs. Plant,” Changbin replies very seriously.

“Oh,” you say, trying to hold back your laughter. You turn to the plant, bending slightly forward. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Plant. We are going to take very good care of you.” 

You take a slightly creepy tone with your last words and Changbin snickers, muffling his laugh in your neck. You laugh, turning to him, sliding your arms around his neck. 

“Thank you, Binnie,” you tell him. “I love it.” 

His lips feel a little cold against yours, so you kiss him until they are warm again. Changbin holds you throughout, sighing softly. 

“Mrs. Plant is a little thirsty,” he says. “We should give her some water.” 

“Of course,” you nod. “Hold on.” 

You open the cupboard to grab the cute watering can you found at a yard sale. Bringing it towards the sink, you realize there is something in it. Frowning, you take out the piece of paper and read what is written on it.

Your heart sinks and you turn towards Changbin. 

“Bin, what - what is that?” 

He is smiling fondly at you. With a little shrug, he steps closer, pushing a strand of hair away from your face. “I said we should make this place a home before we left, didn’t I?” 

You stare up at him, your eyes filling with tears. 

“Now that we’re done, I thought it was time for our little trip.” 

It feels like your heart wants to burst out from your chest as you glance back at the piece of paper. The words almost do not make sense. 

Printed plane tickets for two. 

“Changbin!” you cry out, jumping in his arms, hugging him tightly. “That’s too much!” 

He hugs you back, burying his nose in your neck. “It’s not. I love you, baby. I want to go on an adventure with you. Walk those paved streets. See you smile in the warm sunshine.” 

You let out what is a mix of a laugh and a sob, unable to move from his arms. You stay like that for a long time. Tears of joy roll down your cheeks when you finally take a step back to look at Changbin. You kiss him, and it tastes a little salty, but you don’t mind. 

“I can’t wait,” he says, his smile wide and bright. 

“Me neither, I can’t believe it!” 

He pushes his index to your nose, making you laugh. “All I did was book the tickets, though. We’ll have to figure out what we want to do.” 

“Okay,” you nod, feeling excited at the prospect. 

“But first,” he says, “let’s not forget to get Mrs. Plant her water.” 

 You burst out laughing and kiss him again.

I debated posting this today, wondering, would that be too much Changbin? But then again, there's never too much Changbin. I hope you guys enjoy this ♡ It's been so so cold around here and writing this brought me a lot of warmth so I hope it can do the same for some of you.

permanent taglist: @ughbehavior ; @upallnight-s ; @changbinluvr ; @rosexjimin ; @nasiaisan ; @lotus-dly ; @cb97percent ; @j-0ne25 ; @hwan-g ; @jhopesucker ; @leedunno ; @septicrebel ; @imtoooyoungforthisshit ; @sikebishes ; @sai-kida134 ; @sstarryoong ; @alexis-reads-fics ; @luvsskz ; @beautifulcolorgarden (please let me know if you want to be added or removed <3!)

#seo changbin fluff #seo changbin x y/n #seo changbin x you #seo changbin x reader #changbin fluff #changbin x y/n #changbin x you #changbin x reader #skz x you #skz x reader #skz x y/n #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader #kpop fluff #changbin imagines #seo changbin imagines #skz imagines #stray kids imagines

[marvelobsessed134]

Starting to really like the real world

A/n: You KNOW I had to write stuff for Margot’s barbie because…mommy. Anyways! Also as we know in the end of the movie when Barbie goes to the real world she’s named after Ruth Handler’s daughter. Her name will still be Barbie but her last name, Handler, will be mentioned

Pairings: CEO!Barbie x Assistant!Fem reader

Warnings: smut, dirty talk, oral (both receiving), fingering (R receiving), Dom!Barbie, Sub!reader, mommy kink, mentions of strap on use, little degradation, and I think that’s it.

Summary: Things get heated between you and your boss.

It was just another day working at the one and only Mattel headquarters. And for the new CEO, Barbie herself. Well, Miss. Handler to the world. But everyone closest to her knows that she is -or was- a actual Barbie from barbieland. And because you’re her assistant, you know most things about the woman.

She’s always so cheery, she’s a wonderful boss. She gives you paid off time during your menstrual cycles. While yes, she has all the right organs now she still doesn’t get her period and can’t get pregnant. Which she doesn’t mind at all. She’s actually very happy she doesn’t have to worry about neither.

Today has been hectic. Since new ideas for new dolls and play sets have been announced at the annual Barbie convention. And as expected, Miss. Handler was very busy.

You just gave her coffee, printed her papers and answered some emails for her. Towards the end of the day, you were exhausted. Ready to kick back and relax while watching your favorite show. However, Barbie had told you to stay behind today.

In her bright pink office, the large window casted a golden aura due to the sun setting. You sat on the couch nervously as your boss walked in, her heels clicking on the polished floor, in her pink suit. You’re afraid you did something wrong.

She locks the door before walking towards you, sitting down next to you.

“Um, Miss. Handler…did I do anything wrong? Why was I called to stay back?” You asked.

“Y/n you know it’s Barbie after hours. Plus tonight you’re going to be calling me mommy anyways.” Your eyes widened at her words before she pressed her lips to yours. You were shocked, but melted into the kiss.

Her hands began to explore your body, groping everywhere she could. Turns out the real world really changed her. Maybe for the better.

You moaned into the kiss. “Mmm, you like that baby? I love feeling your beautiful body.” She said as she smirked against your lips.

Then, the two of you separated and you still looked at her dumbfounded. “Don’t look at me like you don’t know what’s going on, Missy.” She said, “I can see it in your eyes, you want this. So come on, submit to mommy.”

If you were standing you would’ve fell on your knees. “Yes mommy.” You whispered and she gave you a look of approval, her blue eyes growing darker.

She then went to work at unbuttoning your shirt before pulling it off, then your bra. Barbie immediately began to grope your tits before pulling a nipple into her mouth. You moaned and threw your head back.

Once she paid attention to both sides, she gracefully picked you up and laid you down on her desk. She made quick work of removing your skirt and panties. “Already so soaked for me, and I’ve barely touched you.” The blonde chuckled.

Your legs spread on their own accord, and she immediately dived in, licking up and down your folds, all the way up to your clit. You gripped the back of her head as you moaned loudly, squirming underneath her.

You felt yourself getting closer and closer, “Mommy, I’m gonna cum!”

“Go ahead, cum for mommy.” And so, you released your sweet juices all over her face. “Mmm you taste so sweet. Good girl.” Barbie praised before standing up and pushing to fingers inside of you. Your eyes rolled back as she continued to fuck you. “Fuck we’ll have to use my strap next time, how does that sound pretty girl?” Your boss moaned and your eyes widened. She’s way different than she was when she first got the real world.

“Oh yeah, it’s thick and long, it’s gonna stretch that tight pussy out so much. And I know you’ll love to suck on it, you little cock whore.” She chuckled menacingly as she continued to fuck you with her fingers as your legs began to shake and you clenched around her. “Oh god, mommy!!!!” You screamed in pleasure as you came a second time.

Barbie took her fingers out of you and licked them clean. She leaned over and pressed a kiss to your lips, you could taste a mix of her and yourself. She then squished your cheeks and said, “Now it’s mommy’s turn. You’re going to make mommy cum like the good little slut you are, got it?” You nodded and watched as she got up and sat in her chair, she pulled her pants and panties off and spread her legs as she unbuttoned her suit jacket and shirt.

The sight of her pussy had your mouth watering you got down and crawled towards her before becoming face to face with it.

You looked up for permission and saw as Barbie tweaked her nipples lazily before saying, “Go on.” With a warm smile.

You began to lick her just as she licked you. Up and down her wet folds and up to her clit. And just like you did, she gripped the back of your head, “Oh yeah, that’s a good girl.”

You continued to eat her out. “I’m close, and you better eat up all of my cum sweetheart.” And you did, as she moaned out and her release squirted all over you, you quickly ate it all up like a good slut.

“Fuck that was good, I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time, babygirl. And I want to do it over and over again.” Barbie said before leaning forward and gripping your chin, making your look up at her. “What do you say, you wanna be mommy’s little fuck toy?”

“Yes, mommy.”

“Good girl.”

#barbie movie x reader #barbie x reader #barbie movie #barbie #barbie smut #wlw smut #sub reader #mommy #barbie movie fanfic #fanfic #smut #smutty fanfic

[miyaniacs]

Corrupted by Darkness

- Introduction -

Facts ; Wattpad

ACOTAR x Fourth Wing x OC

You know how there’s Good and Bad in the world? Heaven and Hell? Angels and Demons?

For every good person, or fae, there’s an evil one out there. Somewhere.

Well it’s the same for dragons.

And I’m not sure if I found the good one or the bad one.

Hello Family,

I’m sure you all are thrilled to … read from me.

Until I found out you were spying on me the whole time?

Come one! Cassian? Do you have no trust in the way you trained me?

Or you Azzie? You made me a fucking shadow yet you’ve sent your shadows to spy on me?

I know I know, Im still a child in your eyes… but I’m as old as the others around me - besides I’ve survived with you as my “family”, you really think this will kill me?

Anyway, I finally have the privilege to annoy you all with endless letters, the first year is over and I’m still alive baby.

So let me tell you about my year…

On my very first day I made a friend, Rhiannon. We ended up being in the same squad too - Fourth Wing, Flame Section, Second Squad. Two new friends we made in our squad are Ridoc and Liam. I know you told me to stick to the other fae around here… But she’s a bitch and I’m this close to kill her every second she opens her mouth. And I really don’t know why our wing leader is fucking with her- like literally. Humans need to meet more fae, otherwise he’d realize that she’s not special. I really hope more fae will come to the riders and help mixing humans and fae in the future… Geographically our worlds are connected but somehow we are not. Back to this bitch tho. Her Name is Eve and she’s the daughter of some lord from Autumn, who’s dad is or was friends with Beron - this should be enough for you to know that she’s a bitch. So anyway now my friends and our section leader Garrick are now judging Xaden for fucking with her. Which made Xaden, our wing leader, hate me… Don’t ask me why just me and not the others too, but just me.

Maybe it was because I once said to Eve that I know she’s just messing with him because she can’t have the real Shadow boy ( yes I’m talking about you Az) - and he was right behind me. She looked offended tho, so add her to the endless list of girls that want to fuck Azriel, yet he still choses the life of abstinence.

Okay uhmmm all the fighting stuff is actually way too easy for me which is why I’m mainly training with Liam or Garrick and not the other first (now second) years.

The food is awful and doesn’t get better the longer you eat it (pls Rhys I’m begging you, pull some strings and get me a care package).

Well other than that… I know you what you want me to talk about… The dragon who chose me.

Noctis.

What can I say - I or We were the talk of the month when he appeared during Threshing and chose me. Everything around me became black. I couldn’t see anything and then… two glowing red eyes appeared in front of me and he spoke. He spoke in my head.

‘I’ve been waiting for you.’

Then the darkness … vanished and there he was. An enormous black dragon. His scales are razor sharp spikes, his horns ( he has for of them) are so long, I could hold them while riding him. His teeth come close to the size of you Cassian. His tail ends in something that fades into a shadow… just like his wings. They have holes in them and the ends fade into shadows…

He wasn’t a normal black dragon I was sure of that.

Thanks to being a fae I got on top of his back and somehow managed to stay there during the flight.

I’m sure you heard all about the drama that went down afterwards.

He shouldn’t be here.

He’s supposed to stay a legend.

Is he even real?

How can he possible bond to someone?

Rhys.

He doesn’t just look like the Dragon Amren told us about. The one she saw when she first landed on this continent.

He IS that dragon.

And he’s a sarcastic bitch that doesn’t know when to stay out of my head or my business- you two would get along so well.

But he’s pretty cool.

And he’s not screaming in my head rn to write this.

Well… and now to the other matter.

My…signet …

So there’s the one… everyone knows of… Shadow Wielding. That’s kinda obvious with how Noctis looks (and forces me to spend more time with Xaden, since we both have the same signet and he’s told to teach me).

But it’s just one of them… Rhys… I feel it. I feel the blood of the people around me. One time Rhi was bleeding and it just wouldn’t stop and I didn’t know what to do… I just wished it would stop. And then I felt it. I felt her blood running out of the cut on her arm and… I made it stop?

I know it sounds crazy but.. then there was this other time … I was just minding my own business during lunch and Eve had to sit down right in my eyesight and make out with Xaden… I got so annoyed… and just wanted it so end. I thought about blood running down her neck… and then… it started to run. Run out of her nose, down her mouth and…down her neck. She needed to go to the healer’s because it just wouldn’t stop.

Rhys.. what is wrong with me?

Noctis just tells me that he knew why he waited for me.

I know I should go to my teachers.. and learn how to control it.. but something tells me that I shouldn’t.

Oh and Rhys… His power… feels like yours.

Talk to you all later…

Nea.

With a sigh I put away my pen.

Shadows crawl around me and caress my face.

I smile and look at the male behind me.

“Did I wake you up?” I ask him.

“No… But I’m kind of offended our activities knocked me out more than they did to you.” He laughs and gets out of my bed. His lips touch my shoulder blade, right where Noctis marked me. His fingers trace the thin lines on my body, that run from the dragon on my back all over my body.

“They’re beautiful.” He mumbles.

Pfff obviously. Noctis sighs and I feel him rolling his eyes.

“Come back to bed now.” He says and walks backwards, dragging me with him.

#acotar headcanon #acotar x reader #acotar oc #acotar fanfiction #azriel x reader #azriel x oc #xaden x reader #xaden riorson #xaden x oc #fourth wing #fourth wing x reader #fourth wing fanfic

[cocained]

crime plots part 3: (part one | part two)

tw: drugs, guns, mention of murder, etc.

two people who are drug dealers, but together! they run a successful business and besides being colleagues, they are also highly in love with each another.

a group plot kinda based on baby driver where a bunch of criminals are brought together for robberies, or anything really, and splitting the money in the end. they all know each other because they worked together before or just met somewhere down the line and they all have different talents and connections (friendships, love, exes or rivals). the team usually changes depending on the job, but the boss think this particular team works well so it becomes a consistent. they work different together on cases, things go wrong and sometimes it goes really well. this can go many ways! hook-ups, break-ups, arguments, saving each other’s lives, almost getting caught, etc!

a world infamous hacker is known for their ways that are impossible to crack. their activities could vary from hacking notorious businesses to darker stuff like having their own cyber criminal organization or working with the most dangerous people in the world. either way no one knows who they truly are, until the hacker gets hacked and receives voice/video calls or even a package or a visit to their house! from there on things could go either way: working together, threatening to expose one another, wanting to learn from one another... bonus: after a while they fall in love but it’s long distance so what they do is they hack into each other’s phones and toy with each others lives bc they have no idea what privacy is and omg imagine the angst!

i’m a gangleader and you’re a rookie trying to prove themselves and i have a soft spot for you because you’re cute, so i help you out. i teach you things and bring you along to places just so i can have your back. and people in the gang start talking shit, but i get highly defensive and if anyone else tries to make a move on you i might lose it. plot twist: i get injured and you’re taking care of me.

we’re both part of a different crime family and to settle the decade old war we are forced to marry each other. but we spent our entire life hating each other because people that we cared got killed because of this war and for years i was under protection so i could never do what i wanted because of you. now muse a is a little bit scared of muse b bc they’re just normal and muse b is a lot more involved in the industry, killed people and god knows what. muse a also had to break up with their previous partner because of the arranged marriage. and let’s be real, this was never meant to last and at some point they’re starting to cheat on each other and that’s when the possessiveness begins and arguments turn into them slowly starting to care about each other.

i’m a stripper/prostitute working for you and honestly i don’t love doing this, but i need the money and it’s the only way to get close to you and i’m honestly breaking my own heart having to see you with other entertainers bc let’s be real, you barely know i exist

i work in the emergency room and you keep coming in with bullet/stab wounds and crazy stories about how you got them and i don’t believe you so i confront you one on one and tell you what i think is really going on here, you’re a criminal aren’t you?

someone close to me got killed and in order to find answers i dive into their world, only to find out they live a double life full of crime. no one knows i’m going undercover as an innocent rookie and i try to get close to the people involved to get answers. of course, i meet a love interest that either i get along with from the start and helps me with adjusting into this new life or it’s like an enemies to lovers sorta thing. only to realize after a while that it’s too late to go back to normal and now i’m the one that’s living the double life and as though that’s not enough, the answers i’ve been looking for are not what i expected them to be...

muse a is a detective in a murder investigation, they always give it their all, but this time they’re told to do so by all means necessary. a murder of someone ‘important’ or maybe an expected serial killer! muse b is an inmate charged with murder and they’re highly intelligent, very cooperative and their murder is just very similar to the one that just occurred. hence the reason muse b is asked to become the criminal consultant for a reduced sentence, helping muse a with their investigation because who can think like a criminal better than a criminal? optional: muse b is sending help from the outside world to help with the investigation there too (and protect the detective!)

i’m rich as shit and when they say you don’t become this rich by being an good person — they’re right. a lot of it is drug money (or something else?) and it’s a secret i’m planning on bringing to my grave until one day my house keeper/pool boy/gardener/??? overhears one of my phone calls and instead of them taking the hush money to keep this between us, they want to go on a date.

#indie rp #independent rp #⟨ ♦ | desired plots ⟩

[pandoraslxna]

Hi Luna, I hope you're having beautiful days and enjoying Kinktober! 💙

A lot of people have been reaching out to me asking if I'm OK, and I'm so sorry for pulling Gone Girl, I never meant to make anyone worried, so I want to explain. I am all right, I still love Avatar and this fandom with my whole heart, but I've been enjoying this blissful escape a bit too much and I need to be fully functional in the real world again. My boyfriend and I have a start-up for graphics software. It's just the two of us and the market is brutal now that the AI has swolloved everyone. And I've been spending too much time online instead of working. And my boy is so nice he never even said a word, he saw how I enjoyed writing and making pictures of our cute aliens, so he supported me. And now I want to support him back and focus on the work, which I realized I cannot do while being addicted to tumblr 😅 So I deactivated the blog, because I knew it would always be tempting me if I didn't. It wasn't easy and I will miss you all so much. Thank you for all the support, this fandom is really something else ♥️

All of my pictures, fanfics and my c.ai characters are on my website: cinetrix.org If people want to follow me, I have twitter and Ao3. I still want to write and make pics in my free time, but I need to heavily limit the time I spend online, cause I can't play this gently, I always fall right into the trap! 😅

About my c.ai characters - guys, I am so sorry I deleted my account there too. I had this moment of 'oh, I need to get rid of all the addictive stuff in my life' and just nuked it. But I realized the characters were no longer mine to take down with me. The moment I published them, they became yours. So I uploaded them back - I tweaked them a little bit so I think they're even better now 😉

Neteyam -- Ao'nung

That's it from me. Bye guys, I love you so much. Enjoy Kinktober and take good care of yourselves 💙

Cinetrix

Oh my precious star, I’m so happy to hear from you and to see that you’re okay! It’s good to know that you’ve chosen a path that is best for you and I 100% support you in your decision. 🥹

I hope you know that we will all continue to support you and your works on Twitter and ao3, and that we as a fandom will forever appreciate and treasure the amazing content you contributed. The positivity you spread through your kind and wholesome personality was something that made me look up to you and fall even more in love with this fandom. You and your blog were truly one of my safe spaces and I’m so incredibly grateful and proud that I can call you my friend!!

We all wish you only the very best in your life and that you and your bf will have a successful business with your graphic-software start-up! I love you so much, please stay safe and even though this isn’t a goodbye I will miss seeing you on here.

Thanks for everything, pookie. I’m sending you the biggest hug!! 🫂🥹🩵

P.s: ​your personal message made me tear up a little omg.

You’re truly one of the sweetest people I’ve met on here and i can’t tell you enough how much I love you. I won’t share this ask on here because of your personal infos, but I wanted to let you know that I received it and I will treasure your kind words forever. 🩵

#cinetrix #𝐿𝓊𝓃𝒶‘𝓈 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓇𝓈 ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ #𝒯𝒶𝓁𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝑜𝑜𝓃 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ #neteyam #Ao’nung

[57sfinest]

something i’ve been thinking about is the intersection of racism & fascism with conspiracy theories/pseudoscience and the supernatural in disco elysium. it’s a well-documented phenomenon irl and i think the game is very good at easing you into the “levels” of how these things are inherently related.

on the surface you have the racist lorry driver, who literally has “racist” in his epithet and is the most out-and-proud racist-fascist you could possibly meet, and measurehead, another open racist and fascist whose nickname is given to him by his belief in phrenology. here we see these people as pretty much cartoonishly racist and very vocal about *why* they believe these things: it all comes down to pseudoscience. these are people who have been convinced that racism is just a fact, justified by science that others are just too “soft” to recognize. we all know about measurehead and his phrenology and such but the RLD also espouses pseudoscience to justify his racism:

and, in addition to this “supporting” his racist beliefs, on top of this he believes in conspiracy theories like an immigrant *Invasion* and an anti-Occidental (anti-white) “cultural victory”, which sounds suspiciously like real-life “white eradication” conspiracy theories:

okay, this is some obviously deeply racist and fascist shit. but it’s not just this. measurehead goes beyond this and believes in other conspiracy theories unrelated to race supremacy, like his thing with semen retention, which is also a real-life conspiracy thing:

i’ll tie this all up at the end, so let’s move on to the next layer. gary is explicitly identified as a cryptofascist by his epithet. a cryptofascist, for those unfamiliar, is someone whose beliefs and ideals align with fascism but who doesn’t openly identify as such because they’re aware of the social unacceptability of it. if you play the fascist route, you’ll have to play as a cryptofascist in order to maintain positive relationships with NPCs and not take constant morale damage from saying fascist things. gary also says blatantly racist things, and here’s where it gets a little deeper than RLD and measurehead: the very basics of what he says are factually true-- that seol exports microtechnology, for example, which ties them to a lot of global governments-- but these actual facts have been spun by fear and *conspiracy theory* into a load of racist bullshit:

and you can actually see in that half light line at the bottom how the fear leverages belief in this stuff! you can argue against gary this whole time and still, an appeal to *fear* can start to slip in through the cracks. gary opens with facts and logic, devolves into fear and conspiracy spinning, and we get another layer of how racist rhetoric and belief spreads. then, to add another layer to the fear angle, you have plaisance. it’s not fear of immigrants with her, though. she’s afraid of this curse-- the supernatural-- that she thinks will be responsible for ending her business, and in her fear she turned to racist caricature and stereotypes:

it’s not the same as the direct “you’re seolite, fuck you” that RLD directs at kim or the “non-occidentals are inferior” he and measurehead parrot or “immigrants are trying to take over the world” that they and gary all buy into. it’s a far more insidious thing: this is something she takes as fact, so deeply that she doesn’t even *question* it. these nonwhite people are special mystical people with magic and that’s just how it is! while it’s not quite conspiracy theory, it’s supernatural, which functions the same as conspiracy when you talk about how racism is rooted in some fundamental disconnect from reality. and this brings us to our final subject, lena. lena comes in from the same angle, a belief in the supernatural (cryptozoology) that ultimately results in racism. (the juxtaposition of cryptozoology/cryptofascism with morell and gary was not an accident!) she seems like a regular sweet old lady who likes cryptids, until you’re randomly slapped across the face with this:

she believes that seolites are a different *species*, and that’s just a fact to her. you point out the racism and she just doubles down-- no, she’s not trying to be offensive, it can be a good thing actually! that’s just nature, just like the cryptids she loves! it’s just fact! and we see this echoed by plaisance and even gary, where they’ll say something deeply racist and follow it up with “but [x group] is very intelligent/crafty/etc as well!” as though saying this somehow cancels out the racism (when in actuality, these “good traits” are part of what they use to fearmonger about these “other” groups they’re so afraid of).

in general this group of characters serves really well to demonstrate how people who are out of touch with reality in other ways (conspiracy, magic, the supernatural, and some extreme forms of spiritualism) are frequently deeply racist as well, and some of them aren’t even aware or doing it intentionally. it really just comes with the territory, and some people choose to lean into it while others aren’t even aware of it, which is why the process of recognition and unlearning is so important when considering the latter population.

#i see lots of people surprised by lena but i don't think i've ever seen anyone acknowledge what plaisance says #i'm set to do an internship with a linguistics team studying conspiracy theory so i was thinking about this in the game #and wanted to compile a post #because i think the interplay of the racists & their *paranatural* beliefs was a good way of addressing these things #while having limited space in the narrative to actually work with it #this isn't fully comprehensive i know but i think i have the basics covered #unfortunately seol is handled very badly by the writers in general though and i've talked about that before #the racism shit goes all the way down #kiwipost #disco elysium #disco elysium meta #gen meta

[jedi-enthusiast]

@confusledqueer apologizes for not responding sooner, it’s been a busy couple days and—honestly—I forgot for a bit.

Moving on-

—————

Me equating some of the things that anti-Jedi people say to antisemitism and, sometimes, outright Nazi-esque rhetoric is not “wild” or “a stretch,” as you’re implying.

Justification of their genocide, denial that it actually was a genocide, a belief that the genocided party “caused” their own genocide, and a belief that they genocided party were wrong or “led astray” while one person was sent to make things right- (via either making them change their ways or outright destroying them/their culture) -are all things I’ve seen people say about the Jedi…

…but they’re also things that people have actually said about Jews.

Take the example I put in the post of someone denying that the Jedi Purge was actually a genocide, and how—by changing “Jedi” to “Judaism” and “Force-religions” to “Abrahamic Faiths”—it sounds verbatim to Holocaust denial.

Or, as another example, people claiming that the Jedi “kidnapped kids to brainwash them”…don’t you see how that sounds like Blood Libel?

So me pointing out that a lot of stuff anti-Jedi people say sounds like antisemitic rhetoric isn’t a stretch, not when a lot of it sounds verbatim to what people are saying with the rise of antisemitism and stuff they have said in the past.

—————

Now, I’m not Jewish, but it’s not just me, your neighborhood White Girl™️, who’s pointing this stuff out.

Actual Jewish people have pointed out the alarming similarities between anti-Jedi rhetoric and straight up antisemitism. So, if you wanna argue about- “you shouldn’t compare real world discrimination to fictional stuff” -then you should probably take that into account.

Go ahead and try telling Jewish Star Wars fans to stop calling out antisemitic rhetoric in the fandom, I’m sure that’ll go down real well.

I also find it hilarious that you’re telling me to be careful about the rhetoric I use in a thread about how I shouldn’t point out that some of the rhetoric other people spout is basically antisemitism rebranded.

And my point in that post wasn’t- “since this is based off of a real world culture/religion, you can’t criticize it.”

My point was- “since this is based off of a real world culture/religion then you need to be careful about how you criticize it, otherwise you might unconsciously be spouting bigoted beliefs and antisemitic rhetoric because you don’t recognize that that’s what it is because you’re saying it about a fictional culture.”

By all means, I get that some people just don’t like the Jedi, that’s their prerogative and we all have our own tastes.

Criticize them, if you feel like it, but don’t go around spouting rebranded antisemitism to do it. I’m sure you can come up with plenty of things to complain about them for without doing so.

—————

Now, I can understand why you might be worried about the slippery slope from this to shit like actual censorship—which, I think we can all agree, is a bad thing. Or how you might think criticizing this could lead to the whole “fandom purity” debate.

My thing is, it all comes down to does it actually harm people?

Perpetuating harmful stereotypes via saying stuff like the Jewish based characters “steal children,” or “lost their way,” or “they caused/deserved their genocide”—that does cause actual harm.

Think about why the “angry black man” stereotype or the “cheating bisexual” stereotype are bad and people- (rightly) -push back against them. It’s the same thing here.

Shipping a problematic ship, calling a fictional serial killer “babygirl,” writing about dark topics*, headcanoning characters as gay or trans…none of that is actively harming people.

(*obviously when writing about dark topics you should tag appropriately so people can avoid triggers, but that’s another topic for another day)

That’s the difference.

And, for the record, I think letting people spout bigotry just because they’re saying it about something fictional is the more dangerous mindset than calling it out.

#star wars #sw prequels #the clone wars #pro jedi #pro jedi order #in defense of the jedi #antisemitism #fandom meta #star wars meta #fandom wank