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ladyseaheart1668 · 4 years

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Endless Summer Book 4 : Daughter of Vaanu (Chapter 48)

Description: On La Huerta, Estela and Zahra mount a rescue--and make a startling discovery. Tagging: @endlesshero1122 @mysteli @feartheendlesssummer @whatmcsaid @xo-endlessmayhem-xo @tigerbryn11

Chapter 48 : Galatea

Sean

I probably could have chosen my words better. When Lundgren lets go, Jake's knees buckle and he collapses into a heap on the concrete floor. Lungren makes a move toward us. Unfortunately, I feel like he's called our bluff. I'm aiming a rifle I don't think I have the will to use. Michelle and I ended up using the pepper spray canisters on the guards' belts to incapacitate them. And before I can work up the will to pull the trigger on the weapon I'm actually holding, Lundgren is swinging a fist at me. Luckily, this is the moment when instinct kicks in. I drop the rifle, duck under his arm, and twist to throw myself onto his back, catching him in a headlock.

“Michelle! Help Jake!”

I keep my arm firm around Lundgren's neck even at he struggles against me, squeezing in an effort to cut off his air supply. We're almost evenly matched. I've got a couple inches on him, and he doesn't have the high-tech exoskeleton he sported on the island. But he's also spent the last five years in a military prison. And when he throws himself backward into the wall, crushing me between it and his body, I feel the impact. But I'm not letting up. Not until he goes down. I tighten my grip and time slows around me like I've taken the sap of Elyys'tel. Lundgren is starting to sink under my assault. I can feel him losing strength. Then there's a flash of movement on the edge of my vision. Lundgren goes rigid for a moment before his legs give out and he crumples to the ground. It registers that

Michelle is beside me a moment a moment after the touch of her hands one my arm and shoulder prompt me to let go of Lundgren. I look dazedly down at the groaning, growling pile of ex-navy jackass at my feet. In the dim light, I can faintly see blood collecting beneath him. Michelle puts and hand on my cheek and turns my face towards hers.

“Are you okay, babe?” she asks softly, stroking my face. It takes a moment before I can nod.

“Yeah...what...?” I nod faintly at Lundgren.

“Screwdriver.” I look over at Jake, smirking as he braces himself on a table at the back of the room. “Right in his gut. No one messes with Maybelline's man.”

I feel my stomach clench. The light in the room isn't great, but I can still see how battered Jake is, and the trickle of blood down the side of his head isn't at all reassuring.

“Shit, man, are you okay?”

He nods, even as I can see him swaying. “I'm fine. Not the important issue right now.”

“No, you're not fine,” Michelle says firmly, moving to brace him. “I'm not ruling out the possibility that you're dealing with a concussion, so we need to get you someplace safe ASAP.”

“Not without Mike,” Jake answers flatly, but he doesn't fight her support.

“No one's talking about leaving him behind,” I assure him. “But...what do we do about this guy?” I nod down at Lundgren.

“...We...shouldn't leave him alive, should we?” Michelle asks uncertainly. “He knows too much about the island...”

“But killing a man who's supposed to be dead already and leaving his body doesn't seem like the best option, either.” I meet Jake's eyes. “...Jake? You wanna weigh in?”

I feel surprise ripple through me when Jake shakes his head “I don't care what happens to him. I care about finding Mike. And Alodia and Diego if they're here. ...We have to figure out where they are. If they're here...”

“...Well...this door locks from the outside,” I point out. “We don't have to decide what to do with him yet.”

“You're right. We don't. Maybelline, if you're gonna insist on being my crutch here, I suggest moving or else I'm going without you.”

“Try it, and my husband gets to carry you.”

“Don't think I won't do it,” I warn, trying to keep my voice light. Honestly, I don't think Jake can make it very far without support. I don't know how we're going to get out of this place. I don't know where we are or how far we are from anyone who can help us. But at least as we leave the room and lock the door behind us, we've got one enemy fewer to get in our way.

Zahra

The plane is about where we expected it to be, on the little-used airstrip near the bunker that I think has been abandoned since well before our summer vacation from hell. Torres makes me and Estela hang back while he and his team search it. As we both expect, they come out of the search empty-handed.

“All clear in there.”

“Yeah, we could've told you that,” I reply peevishly. “Do you really think they're gonna keep our friends on a plane when there are deserted bunkers and compounds all over this island?”

Torres ignores me, looking at his team. “Looks like it's a private jet, but it's probably been converted from a commercial passenger plane. We'll get the tail number and run it later, see if we can't figure out who the owner is.” He turns his eye to Estela. “Have any planes in your company fleet gone missing recently?”

Estela scowls. “If they had, don't you think I or my brother would have included that information somewhere in this investigation?” she asks impatiently. “You seem to keep forgetting that these are our friends you're trying to find.”

“I haven't forgotten,” Torres sighs. “I only have the details I was provided. I need to make sure I'm not missing any information.”

“Well, if you're done wasting time, maybe we can show you to the bunker now? Where they are most likely being held?”

Torres meets her steely gaze steadily, but I can see he's bristling internally. Still, he manages to clamp it down. “...Lead on.”

We're hardly 'leading' anyone, since Torres insists on walking right alongside us. But he does allow Iris's drone to hover ahead at least. Abruptly, Iris's drone stops moving forward, and her hologram flickers into view.

“Zahra, an image discrepancy has been detected.”

Okay, that's a new one on me. I get that she's trying to act more computer-like than usual, but that's just confusing. “...What do you mean an image discrepancy?”

“Your surroundings have been altered since the last known satellite image was taken. Other data cannot account for the change.”

“Uh...okay...can you point out this image discrepancy?”

Iris's hologram is replaced with a red laser light that dances over a boulder, partially covered by some foliage. Through the leaves, I can vaguely make out some markings on the stone that look like they might have been done with white spray paint.

“...The fuck? That looks like graffiti...” I move to push back the leaves and freeze. It's not graffiti.

“Oh, shit...” Estela hisses under her breath.

“What is it?”

How do we explain to the military guy that someone has tagged a rock on La Huerta with two Hadean zodiac signs? And that those two signs are mine and Estela's?

“...It's...code,” I finally say. “...When the twelve of us were prisoners on this island, we came up with a code to communicate in secret if we ever got separated.”

“But this...painting is recent?”

“Yeah. We've been over every inch of this island over the last few years, and this is definitely new.”

“So, what do these symbols mean?”

Estela and I exchange a glance. She clears her throat. “It would appear we are on the right track. We should keep going.”

“Hold on now,” Torres protests, frowning. “Why do you think those symbols mean we are on the right track? And who do you think left them?”

“I am hoping that our friends left them.”

“Really. You think whoever kidnapped your friends just let them have a can of spray paint to make pretty pictures on a rock?” Neither Estela nor I can really say anything to that. And as our silence drags on, Torres' frown deepens. “...What do those specific symbols mean?”

Finally, Estela sighs. “...They mean us. Me and Zahra. A dragon and a crow. Those were our code names.”

“Dragon and Crow?”

“Yes.”

“...So...someone who knows your code basically spray-painted your names on this rock. …Which means they not only know your old code, but they knew that someone else who knew the code was going to be coming. More specifically, they knew it would be the two of you.”

I sigh. “You're no slouch, Torres. I'll give you that.”

“Look...I don't think I can let you two continue with us. It's all just smelling too much like a trap, and I don't want anything to happen to you.”

“Yes.” Estela's voice was ice cold, her gaze colder. “It might be a trap. Or it might be that our friends knew we were coming because of all of us, she and I were the ones most likely to come when everything was eventually traced to the island. Because the twelve of us know each other intimately. Better than we know or will be known by anyone else, including our own selves, in our entire lives. Because for six goddamn months, we went through hell together. We had no support from the outside world. And even after we were finally freed, our Alodia spent five years trapped in stasis here. And who eventually found her? We did. Our little family. Not the Coast Guard. Not any authority. Us.

“It was people in authority who threw Jake McKenzie and Michael Darwin in prison when they were innocent, and it was we who fought for their freedom. It has been the people in authority who have failed us time and time again, and it has been our family that has prevailed. So tell me, Torres, why you believe for a moment that Zahra and I will leave this entirely in your hands?”

Torres is silent. I can tell he is digesting her words. I can also tell he isn't totally moved by them. In the end, he's still an authority figure, and she and I are civilians here by his leave.

“Listen, Torres,” I chime in. “This island is legally Estela's property. Hers and Aleister's. You're really here on her invitation.”

“Pretty sure probable cause is in play here,” Torres counters.

“Yeah, sure. Probably. You could probably get away with forcibly escorting us back to your boat and placing us under guard, too. ...But then you'd be down a few men, and the guidance of our drone. And meanwhile, we'd be doing everything we could to get out and get back in the search because we want our friends back. Do you really want the extra hassle and headache of trying to fight us on this? Or wouldn't it simply be easier to make us promise we'll hang back when the shooting starts?”

Torres rubs a hand over his face, swearing under his breath. “Fuck me. This is insane. I don't know why I'm even trying to negotiate. Why am I even considering this?!”

“Because you're not an idiot. You know we're right. Or at least, you accept that you might be wrong.”

“You have to swear you'll stay out of the way if things get violent!”

“We won't make your job harder.”

“You already are.”

“No,” Estela says firmly. “We're not. And I am pretty sure you're smart enough to realize that.”

Tahira

I'm getting tired of the endless, unchanging landscape. Mile after mile of dusty, barren land lacerated by giant, jutting crystals under a vast, cloudless sky, and everything some shade of purp,'le or pink. In spite of how long I have been hiking through what looks like a desert, I'm not thirsty—except maybe for the sight of something blue or green. My legs aren't tired. All I feel is the same fiery pain in my side and the cold over the rest of my body. I can't seem to shiver, though. But while I cannot say the pain lessens as I continue on my way, it does seem to get easier to ignore. Possibly because frustration is starting to distract me. What the hell am I actually looking for?

“Vaanu? Vaanu! Are you there?! Can you hear me?!” There's no answer but the wind. Or...whatever passes for wind in this weird head space.

The first change in the environment comes on subtly. So subtly that I don't perceive it until I am actually in front of the deep red outcropping of stone in the side of a mountain that wasn't there before. Now, I'm not what you would call a gamer. But I have played video games before. Typically, when something changes in your environment, it's a pretty strong hint that there's something important there. This certainly feels like a video game. No matter how I turn my head, I can't seem to see how big the rock wall is, or how high it goes, as if nothing has been rendered but this wall of stone in front of me. ...And now the smooth, sloping path that begins under my feet and winds around the edge of the mountain's face. Okay. So this crystal headspace isn't going to actually let me see where I'm going. I attempt to take off, just to see if I can, but clearly it's not going to let me do this the easy way, either. In frustration, I slam the side of my fist against the rock wall. The vibrations go through me in a vaguely painful wave. I don't think I do any real damage to myself, but I also don't do any damage to the stone. Out in the real world, a blow like that would have left a dent in the stone. In here, I'm basically the same as I was before I encountered the Prism Crystal.

What changed that day?

Vaanu's voice barely startles me, but the question gives me pause. “...I got my powers. I claimed my birthright.”

And in what way did that change you?

“Well, after that I could fly. I had super strength. I was more resilient.”

So your body changed. Not your spirit.

“Well...fundamentally, I guess not.” I pause for a moment. “...I'm not exactly in my body right now, am I. I mean, I am, but...this body that's walking through the crystal dimension isn't my physical body.”

Vaanu doesn't reply, but he doesn't really need to. This body I'm walking with doesn't have the powers my physical body does. I'm going to have to do this the hard way. But I'm not giving up now. One foot in front of the other, I make my way up the winding mountain path.

Jake

I think Michelle was right about Lundgren knocking something loose in my head. I'm finding it a little difficult to follow her and Sean's logic as they lead us through the unevenly lit corridors of whatever compound we're locked up in. I know we're looking for Mike. I know we don't know if Alodia and Diego are here. I keep wanting to ask if I'm remembering that right, but I've also got enough presence of mind to know Michelle will get concerned if I admit I'm feeling foggy, and then she'll waste time trying to assess me when it can wait until we're clear.

Sean has to take out a couple more goons along the way. I'm not much help, but I do manage to get a pistol off one of them. There's fewer guards than I would have expected. I don't know if it's because Rourke and Lundgren are working outside the law and therefore have fewer resources, or if the four of us just don't register as important enough prisoners to Rourke for more than a handful of guards. It's probably a little of column A, a little of column B. Limited resources means he's probably got less of his resources on us, and more on Alodia. ...Oh, god...Alodia...

“Jake.” Michelle's voice is soft, but firm as she briskly pats the arm that I've got draped over her shoulders. “You still with us?”

“Y-yeah,” I manage to stammer. “Still here.”

“Good. ...You're breathing pretty hard. Are you feeling tired? Any pains when you breathe?”

I don't dare shake my head. “Nah,” I lie. “I'm fine.”

“You're absolutely sure?” She sounds like she doesn't believe me, which doesn't surprise me, but it does annoy me.

“I'm fine enough to keep going,” I reply with an edge in my voice. “I'm worried about my wife. I'm worried about Mike.”

“...Guys?” The tremor in Sean's voice distracts her from whatever she was going to say in response.

“What is it?”

“...Are either of you seeing what I'm seeing?”

I force myself to focus and follow his gaze toward a patch of grubby concrete on the wall bathed in a harsh, florescent glow. ...No, toward the half-illuminated metal door in the wall. ...And the three familiar symbols carved crudely into the door's metal jamb, one on top of the other. Aquila. Pavo. Lupus.

“...What the fuck...?” I hear myself mutter.

“Are those the only signs?” Michelle asks. Sean steps up to the door, squinting as he runs his hand over the shadowed surfaces of the door frame.

“No other signs that I can make out. ...Just ours. Just the three of us.”

“...Is that so weird?” I ask. “You don't think they kidnapped the three of us together just coincidentally, do you?”

“Coincidentally, no,” Michelle concedes. “They clearly planned it. But I did figure there was an element of convenience there, too. I expect of the three of us, you were the one they really wanted secure, and Sean and I are just a bonus they grabbed because it was most convenient to get you when you were picking us up.”

I don't know why I am annoyed by her assessment since I think she's probably right, but I am. It takes willpower to grit my teeth and resist the urge to say something smartass in response.

“Well, clearly, there's something for the three of us behind that door. I don't think we should ignore it.”

“I agree,” Sean says, pulling out the ring of keys he nabbed off Lundgren. “You two stay back.”

For once, no one's arguing with Sean's hero antics. I may have a gun on me, but I'm not very confident in my aim at the moment. Best thing I can do for everyone right now is hang back and let Michelle be my crutch until I've got more of a hold on myself. But then Sean finds the right key and the door swings open. When I see what's inside, that good sense goes out the window.

“Mike!”

I pull sharply away from Michelle, ignoring the way my vision bends as I stagger into the open cell and drop to my knees beside my friend. He's alive. I can tell that right away. He sucks in each breath through clenched teeth, and each exhale comes out as a moan. Sweat runs down his ashen face in rivers. The acrid, metallic stench of fresh-spilled blood is turning my gut. I don't dare look at the source. I got enough of a glimpse at his thighs to know that his bionic limbs have been violently removed—either cut off or torn out—and the wounds crudely cauterized to keep him from bleeding out. Michelle is already at his other side, examining the damage. I grip Mike's hand. It feels wet. From sweat or blood or both, I don't know. And I am not keen to find out.

“Hang on, buddy. We gotcha. You're gonna be okay.”

Mike's eyes flutter open, and he focuses on my face. His lips part in a painful, forced smile. “C-course I am,” he murmurs tightly. His voice is painfully hoarse. “You know me. I'm like a cockroach. Can't be killed.”

I can't help but snort. “You know, Mike, I can't keep using the Captain America nickname for Sean when you keep Bucky Barnse-ing on me.”

“Hey, fuck you, Grandpa. I have two arms.”

“I stand corrected. Now let's see if we can find your legs.”

“Trying to find them would be a waste of time,” Michelle says grimly. “He's going to need new ones anyway, and it's more important that we get him to a hospital as soon as we can.”

Mike winces as he turns to look at her. “What's the damage, Doc?”

“Hard to know the full extent of it at a glance, but their method of cauterizing is frankly medieval. It's keeping you from bleeding out for the moment, but you've still lost a lot of blood, and the extensive tissue damage presents a significant infection risk.”

“Yeah, I don't think they were real concerned about minimizing damage when they ripped my legs off,” Mike says wryly.

Sean suddenly stiffens like a gazelle that's caught the scent of a lion. Michelle and I are immediately at attention.

“What's wrong?”

“...Footsteps,” he murmurs. He gets to his feet, moving to press himself flush against the wall beside the door and peer through. I put my hand on my stolen pistol. I'm not in my best shape at the moment, but like hell I'm gonna not fight if it comes to that. But then his face lights up. “Estela!”

Sure enough, Estela's voice answers him. “Sean!” And in the next moment, she's come barreling through the door, followed by a handful of guys in Coast Guard uniforms. Sean and Estela catch each other up in a fierce hug before Estela pulls back and rushes over to the rest of us to kneel at Mike's other side.

“What's the situation? What does everyone need?”

“Mike and Jake need medical attention,” Michelle informs her. “Jake may have a concussion, and Mike's lost a lot of blood. Where are we? Can we get an ambulance? How did you find us?”

“...I think I have a guess at the answer to the first question,” I murmur, not taking my eyes off the uniforms. “U.S. Coast Guard. Not cops. ...We're on the island, aren't we.”

Estela nods. “Specifically, one of the compounds in the south eastern jungle, near the older airstrip. They were apparently buried and patched over with data or something, but Zahra eventually found the blips in the security that meant someone other than you had crossed the security field. And given the timing of those blips, we had to investigate.”

“'We'? Is Zahra here, too?”

“Yes. She...she's investigating another part of the compound. At a fork in the hall, we found my sign etched on one path and hers on the other.” She turns to meet my gaze. “...Andromeda was etched beside hers.”

Zahra

From the start, I had a feeling our Hadean zodiac signs showing us the way wasn't actually the work of our kidnapped friends. From Draco and Corvus being the only symbols drawn to the way they were perfectly placed to guide us to an entrance where there weren't any hostile forces, it was all just too...neat and orderly to have been done by anyone actively being held prisoner. And if it wasn't done by our friends, that means it was done by someone else with a connection to the island and the Catalysts, and I'm really just blindly trusting that they're friendly at this point. The Endless supposedly died almost nine months ago, but who the hell knows with her. She might have known all this was going to happen. She might have known since Alodia first reappeared that some of her Catalysts would be kidnapped and held on the island, and that Estela and I would go hunting for them. She might have set this all up before her death. And for all that she's annoyingly cryptic, and for all that Alodia seems to hate her, I'm quite affectionately inclined toward the crazy old bitch version of Alodia.

So, now I'm wandering the abandoned halls of the compound, following my Hadean zodiac sign with Iris and about half of the Coast Guard crew that originally accompanied us, in hopes that the path I'm on leads to Alodia. Hers is the only other sign besides mine and Estela's that we've found etched here so far, which has me a little concerned. Four other Catalysts plus Mike have also gone missing. But maybe Alodia's being held separately from the others. Maybe she's in some high-tech prison cell that needs an expert hacker to get her out of.

“Zahra, I am detecting unusual amounts of electrical activity ahead,” Iris informs me.

“Well, good. Unusual is kinda what we're all looking for here. Iris, can you trace it?”

“Affirmative.” The hologram disappears and the drone goes whirring down the hall with a soft beam of light emitting from the front to illuminate the dim corridor ahead. When she finally slows down and stops in front of a door, I feel a knot growing in the pit of my stomach.

The door has Alodia's Hadean zodiac sign on it, all right. But the door is ajar, which doesn't give me a good feeling about what might be on the other side. Alodia might not be there. She might never have been there in the first place, or she might have escaped. ...Or worse, she is in there, but there was no reason to think she could get out under her own power. I brace myself and push open the door.

Thankfully, I don't find Alodia's mangled corpse on the floor. What I do find are a computer terminal and a bunch of monitors flickering with blue static.

“...Ooooookaaaaaaaaay....” I puff up my cheeks and blow out a breath. “Right. Iris, help me out here. What am I looking at?”

“This terminal was manufactured by Rourke International in 1995. Model V@N8091CH@2139. Serial number one-six-six-eight--”

“Okay, not really what I was asking. How about this: Iris, can you access the hard drive?”

“I'm sorry, Zahra. But this console is incompatible with my system.”

“Right. Well. It's all up to me, then. Iris, are the computer and monitors connected?”

“...Affirmative.”

“Is the console on?”

“Affirmative.”

“Great.” I crack my knuckles and flex my fingers before resting the pads on home row. I press a key, and the static disappears from the monitors, replaced by a blank home screen. Right. Let's do this. Blank home screen. No password. Obviously bullshit. No way I won't have to work for it. And sure enough, all the files are locked behind layers of encryption and code. I let my fingers dance over the keys feeling sweat beading on my forehead as I dig through the data like an archaeologist.

“...What are you looking for?” one of the Coast Guard asks hesitantly.

“I'll know it when I see it,” I snap. “Now shut it and let me work.”

It takes awhile. Longer than expected. Long enough that when I finally feel like I can take a breath and turn around for a second, Estela is there, supporting Jake, who looks a good bit worse for wear. I frown.

“Jake, you okay? Were you alone? What about the others?”

“Torres and his guys took Sean, Michelle, and Mike back with them,” Estela explains. “Mike's really bad off. They've already radioed for a helicopter to take him to a hospital. They'll radio someone in this group when they need the clearance code.”

“What about Alodia?” Jake asks. “Estela said you found her sign...”

“Yeah. And it led me to this room here. No sign of Alodia yet, but I'd bet money there's something on this hard drive that'll clue us in. In fact...” I turn back to frown at the screen. “I think I might've found something. ...'halcyon.exe'...”

“...'Halcyon'?”

“It means 'idyllic', I think,” one of the Coast Guard sailors says. “It's generally used to describe a time in the past that's regarded as preferable to the present. ...I think it's also a bird.”

“Well, whatever it is, it's the first .exe I've hit on digging through this hard drive. Might as well see what it does.”

I open the file and hear the ancient console whir and grunt like it's clearing its throat. The screens all go dark, save for the brief flicker of an hourglass wait icon on the main monitor. Then a familiar face fills the screen and I feel my heart stop.

“...A-Alodia...?” Jake whispers, his voice breaking.

Yeah, it looks like Alodia on the screen, but there's something way off about her. She looks more like a video game character version of herself than a person. A really well-rendered video game, to be fair. Like, complete mocap, expert rendering and all. Detroit: Become Human-level graphics on a computer from the same year as Toy Story. The still image suddenly blinks, and the mouth spreads into a Stepford wife-like smile.

“Welcome,” she says pleasantly, grinning like the robotic lady in the airline safety videos. Her voice sounds like someone took a voice sample from Alodia and built a text-to-speech voice out of it. “I am Galatea, Artificial Intelligence. Observe the flashing light on the console below and present Rourke DNA beneath the scanner.”

We turn towards Estela, who has already passed Jake off to one of the sailors and is making her way to the console. “I hope mine is enough...” She holds her hand underneath the scanner for a moment. Galatea blinks and smiles.

“DNA sample accepted. Welcome...Estela Montoya.”

“Wait, what?!” I yelp. Estela snatches her hand back like the scanner burned her, turning to look at me.

“What? What is it?”

“This computer console is from 1995! Did Rourke even know you existed that early? Let alone that you were his kid?”

Estela frowns, answering me with the suspicious way she eyes the Alodia-looking image. We've all probably got theories about Galatea and this old-ass computer console, but like hell we're going to discuss them in front of the Coast Guard.

Galatea's images freezes for just a moment, like her program is having some trouble loading on the ancient operating system. When she speaks, her voice skips like a scuffed CD. “Vooooooooooice mmmmmmmmessssssssssage for...Top Gun. Available. Voice recognition activated. Please say password clearly into the microphone provided.”

Jake has already stumbled over to the console and begun searching desperately for the microphone. I find the bulky desktop microphone on its side behind one of the monitors and hand it to him.

“Have any idea what the password is?” I ask. The way he stares at the microphone makes it pretty clear he doesn't.

“...The message is to Top Gun,” he says slowly. “Not Wolf, or Lupus, or Jake...”

“Maybe try--”

“Princess!” Jake says into the microphone before Estela can finish. Galatea tips her head like a confused puppy, and smiles again.

“...Password accepted. Playing message for...Top Gun. ...The Hydra is a myth. Look for the triumvirate. Crassus has betrayed Caesar and Pompey. ...JAKE!” The sudden emotion in Galatea's voice makes us all jump. Even weirder is that her face suddenly shifts from Stepford Wife to genuinely looking scared.

“Alodia?!” Jake cries, trembling. Just as quickly as it came on, the genuine emotion is gone, replaced by the Stepford smile, and text-to-speech voice.

“The roots of the great tree run deep. My father was not alone...” Galatea's expression starts to distort, her mouth twisting into a grimace. I swear I can see tears in her CG eyes. “...It hurts...”

“Princess!” Jake grabs the monitor, shaking it in frustration. “Alodia! Can you hear me?! Answer me!”

“Jake!” Estela and I pounce, dragging him off the console.

“What's happening?! What the fuck is happening?! Is that her?!”

“Calm down!” I order sharply. “Give me a chance to figure it out, will ya?! Iris, I'm gonna need to get take that hard drive back with us, see if we can't work out what this message actually is!”

“In the meantime,” Estela says, firmly taking hold of Jake and slinging his arm over her shoulders, “we're going to get you out of here.”

Jake looks back at the screen. “...No...”

“Jake, listen to me. Even if that is somehow her, she isn't physically here. And if she were here, she'd agree with me that you're hurt and you need to be taken care of.”

“...Jake...” Galatea whimpers. “...I love you...”

I feel myself tense. I just know that's gonna send Jake into a frenzy again. But to my surprise, he just dissolves into quiet sobs. He seems to have lost his will to fight, because he allows Estela to lead him away without any further fight.

I turn to glare at the computer screen. “Okay, Galatea, you CGI bitch. You're going to give up your secrets to me one way or another. Because as far as I am concerned right now, whoever sent you can go to hell.”

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ljandersen · 4 years

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Missing in Action

Pairing: FemShep/Kaidan Alenko, ME-3 Summary: They’ve finished their meal at Apollos, and Shepard has one thing on her mind. Unfortunately, more than a steak sandwich stands in her way. _______________

Shepard’s heart beat in rhythm with her footsteps, meaning a gallop. She dragged Kaidan by the fingertips down the dock. The Normandy rose before them. Once through the Normandy’s door, the decontamination cycle started.

“The Citadel has the slowest damn elevators,” Shepard muttered pacing the airlock. “Why’d those salarians have to get in with us? Are those close-door buttons just props?”

Kaidan laughed, face flushed, and eyed her obliquely. “Shepard, that really wasn’t nice.”

“What? Pushing the button? I was this close to shoving them out with my boot. Giving them a good ‘shoo’ hand flapping. You take forever to eat a steak sandwich, by the way.” Shepard glanced at the camera overhead. She twisted away from Kaidan with more caged pacing.

“There’s time. The reapers aren’t in the nebula yet.” Kaidan smirked.

Damn that smirk was cute. Ah! She swung away again and faced the Normandy’s door. Now she’d unblinded herself and let the feelings escape, it was an endorphin trigger just looking at him. Since the day in life support, she’d hoped a busy schedule and some distance would solve things. Now, she didn’t want to solve it. At least, not by burying it. The doors hissed open. Shepard dove onto the gangway.

“Oh, hey, Commander.” Joker called from the cockpit. He swiveled around in his chair. “Got some flight records you need to sign off. Like, ASAP.”

Shepard froze. She ground her teeth and spun around. She stumbled into Kaidan. She gave him a good leer before shuffling around him.

“Give ‘em to me.” Shepard put her hand out to Joker. “With the speed I check them, you’ll be wishing the Normandy was that fast.”

“Whoa. Don’t insult my woman. She’s right there.”

EDI turned in the copilot’s seat. “Jeff, this body is not the focal point of my sensory input.”

“Yeah. Heard that before.” Joker leaned an elbow on his armrest. “Makes it a little weird, EDI, when your sensory input involves the whole crew.”

“I can be selective in disabling sensory input according to stimuli and location.”

“EDI, not in front of the Commander.”

“Joker, my patience is so thin a sneeze will tear it.” Shepard waved her hand. “Well?”

Joker frowned at something behind Shepard. Shepard followed his gaze to Kaidan. Kaidan stood on the gangway a few steps behind her, arms crossed, and studying the ceiling vent.

“Joker,” Shepard snapped.

“What? Oh, yeah. It’s here somewhere. Had it on one of these datapads.” Joker fumbled around below his seat shifting through the heap of wrappers, soda bottles, and datapads. “Huh. Nope. That one’s not it. Got to be –”

“This really ASAP?” Shepard put her fists on her hips and loomed over him.

Joker looked up into her shadow. “Commander, you seem kinda antsy. I’ve got it around here.” He picked up another datapad and discarded it.

“Joker, these reports obviously aren’t ASAP.”

“What flight records are you trying to access, Jeff? Perhaps I can be of assistance.”

“Uh …”

“You typically use ship-interfacing datapads. I can do a basic positioning search if given specific identification criteria. Alternatively, I can download the report onto a new datapad if recovering the original datapad is immaterial to the report’s full review.”

“No, EDI. I, uh … I’m sure it’s here somewhere.”

“Perhaps the datapad you are unable to locate has been misplaced at your side terminal. A pile of debris on the console could be concealing it.”

Joker gave a tight chuckle. “Uh, doubt that, EDI. Why’d I be over there with it? I’m sure it’s somewhere.” Joker held Shepard’s eye and teetered on the edge of his seat. He poked blindly at the side terminal. His eyes slid sideways to the side screen, and he cursed.

“Jeff, this search is increasing your heart rate. Your unstable position may precipitate a fall. Let me assist you.”

Shepard frowned at Joker and stepped to the side to see the object of his blind fumbling.

“No, EDI, I’ve got it.” Joker waved EDI off. He gave Shepard a cheesy, shifty-eyed grin. “Hey, Commander, why don’t you –”

“What the hell’s that?” Shepard lunged at the side terminal and tapped the screen. “This live? External surveillance cameras. The airlock too? Joker?”

Joker jabbed a round button next to the screen. The picture flipped. “It’s set to autorotate cameras. Just like to be aware. You know.”

“There are no ASAP reports, are there?” Shepard hissed. “EDI, was Joker watching me on the surveillance camera?”

“EDI,” Joker whispered under his breath and gave her a pointed a stare.

“Jeff was made aware of your approach. Security footage was observed. Should the settings on these cameras have restricted access?”

He’d seen her towing Kaidan by the hand then. Shepard clenched her jaw and stared down at Joker. “You … I’ll deal with you later. I’ve got something else I need to deal with ASAP. Now, where did … Dammit, where’d he go?”

“Which crew member do you wish to locate?” EDI came up beside her.

“Major—There he is.” Shepard started down the gangway.

Kaidan passed her and plopped down a mini-ladder.

“Kaidan?” Shepard said. “What the hell are you doing?”

He shrugged and waved at Joker. “You’re doing flight reports or whatever. Heard something clinking around up here.” He climbed up the ladder, tugged off the overhead panel, and stuck his head inside.

“In the vent?” Shepard sputtered. “Who cares? Get down.”

“Who cares?” Kaidan ducked his head down from the vent. “You know, I was just talking to Adams about the thermal element that cycles into the life support system.”

EDI rubbed her chin. “There have been anomalous readings in this section of the life support ventilation.”

“Are we going to die?” Shepard put her arms out.

“An unlikely outcome,” EDI said. “The anomaly is confined to three meters of ductwork. The CIC and cockpit are supplied by –”

“Hear that, Kaidan? We’re not going to die.” Shepard tugged on his uniform.

Kaidan flared blue, and Shepard reeled back. He was reaching for something in the duct. The shock from his biotics made her laugh. They crinkled goosebumps up her arm. She hadn’t expected him to flare.

“Kaidan.” Shepard pushed down the giddy feeling and straightened her shoulders. Her heart beat against her ribs. Not overwhelmed by the battlefield, she could feel the unique resonance, the flavor of his biotics. The rush of energy was so familiar. It felt … felt good. Felt really good. “What are you doing, Kaidan? Don’t make me knock the ladder out beneath you. We have a, uh … report to review.” Joker snorted and gave Shepard a flat look.

EDI turned her head to Shepard. “Removing the ladder from under Major Alenko without warning may cause injury. As you are concerned with a task dependent on his involvement—”

Joker moaned and tipped his head back against the seat. “EDI, please.”

“It is not recommended you risk a physical injury that could impede accomplishing your task,” EDI concluded.

Shepard rubbed her arm. “Uh … well, I ... Kaidan! You almost done?”

“Found some loose bolts. See.” Kaidan lowered his hand and showed a palm full of bolts. Blue faded off his skin. He must have been using biotics to collect them out of the duct. “Think I got all of them, but there’s loose casing back there.” He hopped off the ladder. “Probably should let Adams know so he can get someone up there. We’d need to order the parts before leaving the Citadel.”

Shepard leaned into him. “You doing this to aggravate me on purpose? This some mental foreplay you’re trying out? Because I hate it.”

Kaidan gave a strained laugh. He glanced sideways at Joker.

“No,” Kaidan whispered.

Joker snorted. “Uh, yeah, Kaidan, you're quiet enough I can’t hear the words. Don’t need to hear ‘em to have my skin crawling. I mean, Commander, again? Don’t do this.”

“Joker.” Shepard walked over to him. “Butting into my personal life is way out of line. Only warning.” She stared down at him.

Joker fidgeted with his cap and spun around. “Loud and clear. Just trying to be a friend. Sorry I care.”

Shepard glared at the back of his chair. She opened her mouth, mind spinning with words, then snapped it shut. She’d deal with this later. She spun around.

Kaidan was strolling down the gangway into the CIC. He held the comm in his ear. “Yeah, think it’s block five toward the helm. Found some loose bolts. Looked stripped, like maybe the refresher system overhead is grinding against the top of the duct. Casing’s coming loose.” Kaidan stopped. He listened rolling the bolts around his palm. He looked back at the open vent. “No, I didn’t try that. You really think … Oh, no. I agree. Makes sense. I can see if –”

“No, you can’t.” Shepard hooked his elbow.

The bolts spilled out of his hand. They scattered across the floor of the CIC. Kaidan spun in a half circle watching them roll through the grate.

“EDI,” he said.

“I will recover the bolts,” EDI said.

“Uh, thanks.”

Shepard pulled him toward the elevator. He reached for the comm in his ear again, but Shepard dragged his hand down.

“Shepard, I should probably sign off with Adams. You stopped me mid-sentence.”

Shepard pressed the comm in her ear and stopped at the elevator. “Adams? Hey. Major Alenko’s out of order for a while.” She listened. “He’s fine. Catch you later. Shepard out.” She gave Kaidan a pointed look.

“You’re so impatient.” Kaidan chuckled under his breath. “You going to tear me apart the minute the elevator doors close?”

“No.” Shepard cast a bitter glance toward the cockpit. “Joker’s watching us on the camera. Cabin door closes though … Won't be a piece left big enough to identify you by.”

Kaidan laughed. It came out a bark. He smothered it with the back of his hand and smiled lopsidedly, watching her out of the corner of his eye.

A private crossed the CIC to them. “Major Alenko, I have –”

“No.” Shepard batted back the incoming datapad.

The private stopped short with wide eyes.

“Later,” Shepard said more smoothly. “He’s off duty. Mission reports take priority.” The elevator door opened.

“I—I understand, Commander. So sorry.” The boy backed up.

“Shepard …” Kaidan growled under his breath. “Hey, Ellingsworth, you can message that to me. I’ll get it back to you.”

The boy’s eyes brightened. “Uh, thanks, sir. Sorry to interfere.”

Shepard yanked Kaidan into the elevator. She slapped the button for the cabin and interlaced her hands behind her back. Kaidan copied her posture. The elevator lifted them up a floor and opened to the landing in front of her cabin.

She bounded out and rushed to the door. A hand snared her elbow. Kaidan pulled her around to face him. Her breathing tightened. He was so close. He slid fingers into her hair, held the back of her head, and studied her eyes. Goosebumps pricked across her skin.

The cabin door opened at her back, but Shepard stepped closer to him instead. She wrapped her arms around his neck. His lips spread into a soft, wide smile. Damn, he was attractive. It wasn't just the symmetry of his face or those eyes. It was something magnetic beyond the concrete. His eyes dropped to her lips, and he leaned down.

Shepard lurched onto her toes and crushed her mouth to his lips. He tasted like she remembered. His lips moved like she remembered, soft and slow at first, exploring and velvety against her growing smile. She flicked her tongue across his lips, and he opened his mouth. Her blood roared. His tongue slipped slowly against hers. The floor fell away. She drew at his mouth, his tongue, all the oxygen in the room.

“I missed you.” She panted between kisses.

“Missed you more,” he murmured.

His fingertips caressed down her throat and splayed across her collarbone. She trembled. So much like she remembered and so different. She thought she remembered every touch. It was all new but familiar: the pinprickling trail of his fingertips, the vertigo of his deepening kisses, the heat of his breath against her face.

She worked her fingers between the buttons of his shirt and touched the hot skin beneath. He made a low sound in the back of his throat. Each labored breath drowned her deeper in his smell, fresh soap and pine. He tasted of premedatory mint. A sweet taste. She pressed against him with his chest thumping under her fingers. Her memory was too dull to record this.

She drew back gasping for air and laughed. He opened his eyes. His grin widened with dragging breaths rushing through his lips. Shepard grabbed his collar in both hands and pulled him backward into her room.

From “About Mars”: AO3 and FFN

#Shenko #fanfic #Kaidan Alenko #femshep #femshep x kaidan #About Mars #fShenko

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zankivich · 6 years

Text

Teacher’s Pet: A College AU Chapter 8

This chapter is super long, but I couldn't find a better place to end it so like.... hope you enjoy long shit? If you’re enjoying the story so far let me know. If it sucks also let me know. If you wanna be added to the tag list let me know. Basically just let me know. :)

And there’s smut if that’s a thing you need to be warned of....

Also TW: homophobia/slur

Chapter 8

*Shawn’s point of view*

When he woke up she was already awake, quietly scrolling through her phone while he slept. He stretched and cracked his bones with a yawn before shuffling over to her side of the bed and squishing himself into her space. She simply moved to accommodate his large body, allowing him to lay his head upon her chest, which happened to be the softest thing he’d ever laid his head on in his whole life. He had grown so used to sleeping beside her that their three or so days of “fighting” had been sleepless and angsty. It was awful.

“What are you doin’?” He mumbled watching her instagram feed one picture at a time.

She smirked. “Not watching you sleep like some creeper, unlike others I know.”

“Very funny.” He grinned peering over at her. “Anyone ever tell you you’re really beautiful in the morning.”

She snorted and it was so cute, he wanted to die.

“Eye boogers and all huh? You’ll be happy to know you look like a rolling stone cover regardless. And yes it is as frustrating as you might think.”

He chuckled watching her for a few minutes. He knew he could have watched her forever, but there were definitely better ways to utilize their time.

“So are you attached to the whole instagram scrolling thing, or could I persuade you to do something else?”

She raised an eyebrow at him already throwing her phone onto the nightstand.

“What did you have in mind, sir?”

He rolled over on top of her pulling her body close to his through the sheets. They quickly got to kissing and biting at each other working themselves into a frenzy. This time everything in his being was telling him to take it slow, to give himself fully and entirely to her. When she wrapped her legs around his back and breathed his name in his ear like a prayer, he found himself getting lost in her body, in her voice, in her soul. He delved deep into her and liked everything that he saw. It was beautiful to be with her, to exist in-between her thighs where it felt like he belonged. It was more than just sex, it felt like completion, like an evolution was taking place. He grabbed onto her hips driving himself home over and over again, not with the goal of just an orgasm, but with the goal of letting her know that he was fully and entirely her’s in every way.

It was a completely different experience in a culture that told men to dominate women and make them theirs. How could he not want every part of himself to belong to her, when she made him feel this way? She had given him something so entirely precious and important. He didn’t want anything but for her to see his love and his heart on a silver platter if she needed. Not out of competition, or masculinity, or anything other than that he loved her terribly.

He had gotten completely lost in the moment when it came. She was pulling him deeper into her, sucking at his neck, and moaning the most incredible things in his ear. He’d been building to something really special for the both of them, when his phone began to ring and their bubble was miraculously popped.

“Don’t you dare answer that.” She gasped legs tightening around him.

“Wait, wait,” He mumbled breathlessly, digging through the messy sheets. “Just let me see who it is.”

“I hate you so fucking much right now.”

He shuffled around causing tiny moans and groans form each of them as they were still connected. When he finally got to the phone his whole world sank, because she most definitely was not going to be happy.

“You’re gonna hate me even more, but it’s my mom and I have to take it. She gets pissed when I don’t answer.”

His girlfriend was incredulous. “You are literally impaling me right now! I am sure Mama Mendes would understand.”

“I mean I would’ve called it something much more romantic like making love, or literally anything else other than something synonymous with stabbing you!”

She chuckled, but was otherwise unmoved.

“I’m sorry I’m not poetic enough for you, Shawn.”

“It’s not about being poetic, but I’d like to think we’re doing something kinda beautiful over here! At least more beautiful than ‘impaling’. Impaling you? I’m trying to create a moment over here, and that’s the best you could come up with?” He huffed.

“Look, what do you say we give each other a couple of orgasms, and then I’ll go cook breakfast while you call your mom back and tell her you were studying or whatever you good Christian boys do.”

He sighed. “I’m not Christian...Not practicing anyway.”

“Shawn...I love you but please fuck me before my vagina shrivels up from this conversation.”

Ultimately, his mom would always be there, but his girlfriend might very well kill him. So, he let the phone ring and dove back under the covers, his girlfriend already grabbing at his ass and moving him back to the position that was sure to get her where she needed to go. It was wonderful to watch her when it happened. Her nose got really red and her chest would grow flush. She always tried to cover her mouth to keep the sound in, and he would just as quickly move her hand and intertwine their fingers because he loved the way that she sounded. She would pull incessantly at his hair until it was just the right side of painful and shove her face into his neck to try to mask the loudest of the sounds when her orgasm would hit. Sometimes she would scream into his skin and he could actually feel the vibrations of her passion. If he wasn’t already on the edge, that was sure to get him there. His fingers dug into her ass, holding her against him as he emptied into the condom. They could both barely breathe after, collapsing in a sweaty, tangled heap as if they’d destroyed each other.

“At what point do we win an award for that?” He huffed ten minutes later, kissing her cheek as he shuffled out of bed to dispose of the condom.

She laughed following him into the bathroom to shower

“I think somewhere between orgasm three and four.” She suggested. “I’ll make sure to get you a trophy asap.”

She had tied her hair in a bun and moved past him to step into the shower after stopping to use the bathroom. He could see her through the door and there really wasn’t ever a moment when she wasn’t the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen. She caught him staring as she was soaping herself up and smiled at him through the glass.

“I thought you needed to call your mother?” She asked innocently.

He, however was already stepping into the shower behind her.

“My mom would want me to be clean, first.”

It was another hour before he even made it to his phone, and that was only because she finally left to go cook breakfast giving his hormones some time to calm down. He opted for a facetime thinking it would make up for the missed call. His mom picked up on the first ring, which really wasn’t a good sign if you knew his mom.

“Shawn, how nice of you to pick up!”

He winced. “Yea… Sorry Mom, I was in the shower when you called.”

“I called you over an hour ago, Shawn. What kind of showers are you taking in California? Aren’t you all supposed to be in the middle of a drought.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle. His mom was the coolest in the world, but she worried endlessly about him being in a different country from her for undergrad. She was insistent on him living him in Pickering again as soon as he was finished, and he’d yet to have the heart to tell her his plan was to hopefully move to Toronto instead. There was also a potential plan to stay in Cali for another year to do the music thing, which had been seeming a lot stronger given his current relationship.

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m calling now. How are things? Aaliyah and Dad okay?”

“Everything’s fine here. Your sister is taking three AP classes, and she’s doing wonderful in all of them. Your father is fine. He’s working overtime to make sure he can get the time off for your performance. We’re all doing great, sweetie.”

“That’s great. I miss you guys, so much.” He grinned. “Can’t wait for you to hear the new music.”

“Yea? You’re inspired out there, aye?”

He smiled a smile that had only started appearing on his face that semester, and for a very specific reason.

“I am. I think I’m creating the best stuff I’ve ever made.”

��Hmmm.”

That was a sound his mom made only in times when he was about to get chewed out. He only recognized it because the look on her face wasn’t much better to boot. There wasn’t even a chance to do damage control before she was confronting him.

“That’s not your bedroom. I should I know, I bought your sheets after all.”

He peered back at the still messy sheets he’d destroyed with his girlfriend just hours prior, and his tongue began to dry in his throat.

“Y--Yea. You know, about that--”

“Oh save it, Shawn. Your father already told me, what you refused to call and tell me yourself, sir. You’re in love. You’ve fallen in love, and weren’t going to tell me of all people?”

He rolled his eyes playfully. “Mom I was going to tell you. I would never keep something like that from you. I’ve just been a little preoccupied with classes, and performing, and you know I booked a gig at an even bigger venue for the same week you guys here. I thought you and dad could come and see it.”

“I will not be distracted from the issue at hand, Shawn! I want to meet her.”

His mom never yelled and that somehow only made it worse, because her voice just sounded disappointed instead.

“I’d love for you to meet her!”

“Wonderful, go get her.”

His life flashed before his eyes of him as a vision of him introducing his mother to his girlfriend while she was dressed in nothing but one of his hoodies played out. Not likely.

“Mom. I’m not introducing you guys through facetime. You can meet her when you come to town. And please don’t… you know, scare her? She’s important.”

His mom huffed at him. “What am I, a monster? I’m not gonna scare the girl, I just wanna meet her.”

“Woman.”

“Excuse me?”

“She’s a woman. Not a girl. You probably wouldn’t say you wanna meet the boy, you’d say man. Girl is like… it just shapes the way we view women in comparison with men, so it’s cooler if we say women ya know?” He smiled sheepishly. “Feminism class, remember?”

“Well good for you. Maybe that class can teach you to call your mother every now and again.”

He laughed knowing that all was forgiven. His mom could never stay mad at him for long. By the time he got off the phone, not before promising to call again sometime that week, everything was okay again. In two weeks his family would be in town, and they knew him better than anyone. He had known that this relationship had made him happier than he’d been in years, maybe since he’d discovered music could actually help his mental state. But, now the people who had seen him before, would get to see him after. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that they would adore her, but his fear was that they would see just how hopelessly gone he was. No one had ever had that kind of power over him, and he figured it was better that she know before his mother, who very much would, brought it up.

In the kitchen, she was listening to music on the speaker and bobbing her head while she was frying bacon in a pan. He wormed his arms around her waist from behind dropping a kiss on her shoulder and on her neck as she cooked.

“Sorry, I don’t have any Canadian bacon. Hope this is good enough.” She grinned.

He smirked. “I think I’ll manage. Can we talk for a minute?”

“Sure. Everything okay?”

“Yea, everything’s great.” He released her body sliding up onto the counter space instead. “Just never got to talk about last night, with the ‘I love you’ thing.”

“Oh...Well you don’t have to say anything more. You didn’t even have to say it back really.” She shrugged awkwardly.

He peered over at her as she tried to pretend her bacon was super interesting.

“I get that you’re not super comfortable with the whole feelings talk, but I am. And if you give me a chance I think I could make you comfortable with it too.”

She looked up at him with a smile. “Alright, give it your best shot, superstar.”

He smiled back at her, his whole heart feeling big and warm when she was in his line of vision. The words came tumbling out of him without fail, because how could he not want this woman to know how he felt?

“Well what I wanted to say last night was . . . I don’t think I’ve ever been in love before. Which means I’ve never had my heart broken, but I’ve also never given myself fully to someone. And what I would’ve told you whether we had the fight or not, or whether you said you loved me first is that...I don’t know how to give you anything less than all that I am. It’s not conscious, it’s not an effort at all. I just want you in every way and I want to satisfy every need and want you could ever have. I guess I just--I’m really into you. I’m in love with you, and I don’t think I could stand for that not to be on the table, just in case you don’t feel the same.”

She seemed to stare through him again, leaving him feeling naked and exposed before her eyes. His heart was truly in his hand, gaping wound and all. She could either take it and nurture it, or stomp on it. And that was the scariest thing he’d ever experienced in his whole life. But he’d rather die than not let her know how he felt.

She moved the bacon off of the burner, turning the stove off and stepping in between his legs. Hers hands trailed up his bare arms and up to his neck holding his face in her hands. When she kissed him, it was sweet and soft, soulful like she was feeding him with her lips. She placed her hand upon her chest as if to heal the nonexistent wound.

“I’m not gonna hurt you, Shawn.” She murmured. “And if I was poetic at all, I would tell you I’ve been with a lot of shitty people in my life. And maybe I loved some of them, and maybe I didn’t, but I’ve never had this with anyone else. I love that you like the gym even if I have never wanted to go somewhere less in my life.”

He chuckled far aware of her aversion to exercise outside of the bedroom, but found himself softening at her words as he slid his hands lovingly along her waist..

“ And I love that you hum in your sleep, and this one fucking curl that always falls in your face, and I love that you take care of me. No one ever has. Maybe I’ve never let anyone. But, I’m in okay? All in. And you never have to wonder if you’re in deeper because I’m right here with you. Always.”

He smiled, his arms and legs coming to wrap around her. He held her in his arms and kissed the living daylights out of her, his tongue feeling like heaven in her mouth. There weren’t words to thank her, so they just stood there instead, food growing cold as they got lost in one another. It was kind of perfect.

* * *

“Alright guys can anyone tell me anything about the difference between second wave and third wave feminism?”

He raised his hand, only because for once he actually knew the answer. The good thing about dating the TA was you got lots of practice outside of class….although what you were practicing differed greatly.

“Shawn.” She said professionally, because they were professional in the classroom dammit.

“Well second wave started in the sixties right? So it was during the civil rights movement and lot of it was about getting women out of the home and expanding their roles in society. That’s where the fight for equal pay in the workforce comes from. And then third wave is kind of like broader isn’t it? It was less focused on any one specific thing and more on just getting people to talk about feminism.”

“Yea, that’s a really great start. Thank you, Shawn.” She smiled only slightly cheeky. “Third wave gets kind of hard for people to define because it was such a broad way of looking at feminism. It really began to question our notions of gender and the roles we take on because of it. So this is where we get a very liberative movement of reclaiming whether that be with high heels and lipstick and very ultra-feminine things, as well as women who were saying that they wanted to remain in the home with their children and that that wasn’t inherently anti-feminist at all. But the reason why third-wave is slightly more progressive, though I would argue not nearly progressive enough in the most mainstream of circles is because we’ve started to focus on feminism for everyone. Whereas feminism began as something white, wealthy women typically only got to partake in, now trans women get to be part of that conversation. Black women and other women of color, and poor women, and women who are differently abled, are all slowly getting their seat at the table. You no longer can have a conversation about the wage gap without noticing, that white women are going to make ten, fifteen cents on the dollar of women of color. If your feminism doesn’t include women of all shapes and colors and socioeconomic statuses, you’re not doing it correctly.”

Listening to her talk was like a symphony sometimes. He’d never been a huge fan of lectures, his mind always tending to wander. But, she forced you to be engaged in a way that no one ever had. She was so easy to understand, and she made it feel like you weren’t a fucking idiot if you didn’t know something. She was passionate about everything that she taught, and therefore he couldn’t not want to learn every single thing she had to give. It was his favorite class of the entire semester, not because it was her, but because of who she was as a person.

Class eventually dismissed and as he was gathering his things together one of the guys who barely ever showed up to class felt it was his time to come up and be an asshole.

“Hey Mendes, do you find that being a bitch makes your period last longer, or does it kind of even out what with you just being a bitch all the time?” He asked.

Shawn sighed, knowing there was nothing he could say to make this dickhead actually understand how fucking lame he was. Guys like him just wanted to feel heard.

“Does that work for you, bro? Being a complete jackass? Is that really getting you where you wanna go in life?”

Frat boy scoffed. “This class is bullshit and you’re a pussy for being into it.”

“Yes because there’s nothing women find less attractive than respecting them.” Shawn grinned. “Totally makes me a pussy.”

Frat boy got angry taking a step closer. “Look here faggot if you--”

“Hey!”

They both turned to see his girlfriend with the most pissed off expression he’d ever seen on her face. She was wearing a band t-shirt they’d bought together thrift shopping with these long wide legged pants that made her look all edgy but teachery. She was so fucking cute. Jesus.

“Day one in this class we read through a non-discrimination policy that says we will respect and be kind to everyone. And that does not include fucking slurs that are the antithesis of everything this course is based on. Get the fuck out of my classroom before I have you kicked out of this course.”

It was maybe the hottest thing he’d ever seen in his whole life. And he’d seen her naked. Frat boy stormed out of the classroom leaving only them behind, and he couldn’t just not put his hands on her when she was all brimstone and sex.

“The fucking nerve of that asshole.” She muttered as he wrapped his arms around her immediately kissing at her neck.

“You’re so fucking sexy when you’re angry at someone that isn’t me.” He whimpered.

“I hate that word. That word is fucking disgusting, and people shouldn’t feel comfortable enough to use it in any setting.”

He nodded rubbing her arms soothingly. “You’re right. Better it be me who isn’t affected by it, than someone who could’ve been. Right?”

She sighed peering up at him until she released all of the anger from her system.

“Right. You’re right. Doesn’t make it fucking okay, though.”

He wrapped her up in his arms kissing at her forehead and cheeks until she smiled.

“Don’t let it ruin your day though. Are we still having lunch in your office?”

“Yes, but it needs to actually be lunch this time Shawn! I have meetings all day after this, I can’t be starving because you can’t keep it in your pants.”

He held up his hands in surrender. “Hey, I’ll be good! I promise!”

*Twenty minutes later*

“Don’t fucking pull my hair, Shawn!” She gasped in between moans. “I’ve got to look presentable.”

“I’m trying babe. Shit, you feel amazing.”

He had her bent over her desk, hands on her hips as she threw her ass back at him with every thrust of his hips. It was doing wonders for how deep he could get inside of her and thus was reflecting well on her general comments on the act.

“Oh my god.” She mumbled her arms collapsing so that she was leaning on her arms against the desk thus pushing her hips further into the air. “Baby, fuck me please.”

Her voice was innocent and sickeningly sweet and it made his spine straighten as he leaned up onto his toes and rammed into her from behind. They were trying desperately to be quiet, and her moans turned silent as he began to hit the perfect spot. There was a mirror against the opposite wall that let them make eye contact, and her eyes rolled back in her head when he wrapped one hand around the back of her neck and pulled her deeper against him desperate and needy. This was quickly becoming his second favorite position in the world, and when she tightened up around him, he might have just seen stars.

“Fuck don’t do that you’ll make me cum.” He huffed hiding his face in her neck.

She reached back behind their bodies and grabbed his hip pulling him against her body.

“I want it. Give it to me.” She whimpered. “Please, Shawn?”

There is only so much a man can take.

She pulled orgasms out of him like Dumbledore pulled memories out of his own fucking head. And he never had the time to feel embarassed about coming too quick because it seemed to be her goal, the little vixen, always trying to kill him with every tightening of her muscles. When he came he held her whole entire body from behind in an attempt to not explode across the whole entire room. Her chest was heaving, face red and sated, as she collapsed against the desk once again. He quickly joined her after pitching the condom, barely having the strength to collapse in the chair and pull her onto his lap.

“Did you cum?” He asked skimming his nose along the side of her face as their bodies cooled.

Her eyes widened. “No, I’m not gonna start shooting all over my office like a sprinkler, thank you very much. I work here.”

“What? Babe you can’t just not cum! What the fuck am I even here for, if you’re not orgasming?”

“Women all over the world are fucking mediocre men and not having orgasms. I can take one for the team.” She shrugged.

He shook his head quickly dislodging her from his lap as he stood up.

“Shawn this is not that big of a deal.”

“Yes it is! Babe I have to make you cum.” He explained. “An eye for an eye. Reciprocation. All of that. How could you let me cum, and not expect the same back.”

“Sweetie, I hear you, and I really love this feminist approach you’re taking to our love making, and if it wouldn’t get me fired I’d probably give you extra credit. However, I am choosing not to orgasm for fear of soaking the entire place down. I still very much enjoy your penis inside of me and I’ve had a great time. It’s not you, it’s me.”

“Funny. She’s being funny.” He muttered pulling his jeans back up his hips.

She giggled reaching for her pants.

“You gotta admit it’s a little funny.”

He rolled his eyes at her and went about grabbing his things.

“Are you really upset with me right now?” She asked as he prepared to leave.

He threw his backpack over his shoulder nearing the door.

“I’m not upset I just don’t understand why you won’t let me make you cum!” He huffed. “I’m kind of good at it. It’s one of my favorite pastimes.”

They stood there in a tense silence only for a knock to arrive on the door and suck all off the air out of the room.

“Shit.” She gasped pulling her pants with a fierceness.

Shawn remained stuck as his girlfriend quickly materialized a bottle of febreeze out of nowhere and began viciously spraying the room down with it. He could only unfreeze when he noticed the magnitude of the spray.

“So you can squirt febreeze everywhere, but god forbid I make you cum.” He mumbled.

She moved past him socking him in the chest enough to really fucking hurt.

“Get your shit together and try to look like we didn’t just have sex!” She whispered. “We will talk about this at home.”

“Whatever.” He muttered arms crossed like an aggravated child.

There was another knock on the door, and she smoothed quickly at her outfit tugging at her curls before yanking open the door in the least suspicious manner they could manage. On the other side of the door was none other than Frat Boy himself. Maybe the worst person in the world to be on the other side of the door.

“Roger. How can I help you?” She asked quickly trying to keep her voice under control.

He looked over at Shawn with an unimpressed look in his eyes refusing to talk like the fucking baby he was.

“Don’t mind me, I was just leaving. Thanks for the help, teach.” He mumbled sliding his hand protectively against the small of her back as he passed.

She’d have hit him again if she could.

* * *

“Are Mom and Dad driving you crazy?” He asked moving through the kitchen to locate a snack.

His sister Aaliyah was on facetime and they had been catching up on loads for the past hour after he’d finished his paper for abnormal psych.

“They’re not so bad. Mom is over planning for the trip to visit you. She’s already packed and repacked three times.” She chuckled.

“She’ll be fine once she sees I’m not dead. I’ve been in school for four years, you’d think she’d get used to it by now.”

“Not exactly. She wants me to go to go school in Ontario so I can commute and stay home. Especially now that you’ve hidden your girlfriend from her, I think she thinks you’re gonna elope and run away.”

He laughed. “She tell you about that? I’m gonna need you to be on my side this weekend. The recital is stressful enough, I don’t need mom scaring off the girl I’m in love with.”

“Ooooooooo, in love huh?!” She teased. “Are you sitting in a tree, and k-i-s-s-i-n-g-ing?!”

“Hilarious.” He answered dryly. “You’ll love her when you meet her. She’s getting her masters in human sexuality. She’s like the smartest, most woke person ever. Don’t tell her I said it though, she hates that word.”

“I’ll try to keep it to myself… Is it serious, or whatever?”

He peered over at the facetime for the first time in a while having been preparing himself a sandwich.

“Yea, I think so. It’s more serious than anything I’ve ever done before.” He shrugged, cheeks warming.

“So when you graduate...would you like, not come back to Canada?”

Only his sister could ask questions that would leave him floundering and and flustered. She would of course ask him questions that he didn’t have answers to.

“I don’t know, yet. We haven’t really talked about it. She gets a little spooked by talking about feelings.”

“Mom would shit her pants if you stayed in California.” She hinted.

He sighed. “Yes, Aaliyah; I’m aware.”

“On the bright side, if you mess up this massively, I will only further my reign as the golden child!”

Best little sister ever.

“Alright punk. Text me when you guys get to the airport, aye? I’m gonna be there to pick you up.”

He heard the front door open and smiled knowing that she was home and was coming to him, and no one else.

“Yea, yea, we’ll keep you posted.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

He closed the phone after his sister had faded away and turned as the light of his life twirled into the room. Or walked. Whatever.

“Who do you love?” She asked in loo of greeting.

He wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her in for a kiss.

“Hey. How was Fratboy dickbag?” He smirked.

She rolled her eyes. “We’re lucky he didn’t fucking hear anything. No more quickies in the office. That’s a line we never should have crossed. The guy’s weird though, he kept looking at me like a predator. I’m almost positive he doesn’t understand the line of consent.”

“Did he do something to you?” He asked standing up straighter automatically.

She smiled. “No. I’m okay. Which reminds me, who was it that you love again?”

“Besides you? My sister. She was catching me up on the Canadian drama, and my mom’s never ending packing.”

“Ahh.Yes. Parents. Family... Fun.”

He grinned. “Your enthusiasm is genuinely astounding.”

“I don’t have a good history of first impressions. I’m a generally awkward human with the mouth of a truck driver. I don’t want you to be surprised when your Canadian mother hates me.” She mumbled.

“Why does the Canadian matter?”

“Because you guys could get hit by a car and you would apologize to the driver, and take them out to lunch. I’m American, Shawn. We blame the world for our problems and take it out on everyone else. We’re kind of the worst.” She explained.

He chuckled kissing her nose in reassurance.

“They’re gonna love you. Because I love you. They’re the least judgemental people in the world, and when my mom sees the way you take care of me, she’ll want to be your best friend.”

She pouted up at him and it was so cute he wanted to die.

“I’m not exactly doing your laundry and cleaning your room. I wouldn’t call myself housewife material.”

“Exactly. But when I’m anxious you get me to focus on just one thing. And you breathe with me until I’m better. And when I’ve played the same chord for the thousandth time and finally get it right you smile at me like I’ve cured cancer. And when you’re with me, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. You take care of me in all of the ways that matter.”

She rolled her eyes sticking her chin out him like a child before a smile eventually broke through.

“Besides. I’ve done more laundry since we’ve been together than I have in my whole life. She’ll probably think you’re magic.”

“You musicians and your poetic words.” She huffed. “You’ll be the death of me.”

“But I’ll make it worth your while.” He promised kissing her chastly.

“Yea?”

“Yea...beginning with finishing what we started earlier.”

He dropped to his knees smoothly, hooking his fingers into her pants and taking them with him to the floor.

“Here?! In the kitchen?!” She gasped.

“What like we haven’t before?” He asked peering up at her with innocent eyes. “C’mon. Please?”

She huffed as he tugged at her underwear, quickly pulling them down to her ankles before settling her fingers possessively in his hair the way that he liked.

“Fuckin’ boy scout. Continue.”

He chuckled, hands grabbing at her hips as he absolutely dug in.

***

“Babe you’re sweating.” He smirked her hands slick in his own.

She groaned beating her head into his chest.

“Maybe I’ll die before they get here. Maybe that God person everyone’s always talking about will do me a solid and just take me out.”

“Even God gets to be gender neutral, aye?” He grinned kissing her hair.

She beamed up at him. “I have taught you so well. How could anyone fire me for sleeping with you, you’re practically a scholar.”

“I appreciate the sentiment. Just a heads up I didn’t tell my parents about that.”

“Well thank fuck for that. I can imagine how many strikes that would be against me.”

They waited at LAX armed with Canadian flags and everything to welcome Shawn’s family. Despite how nervous she was, Shawn couldn’t have been more excited for his family and girlfriend to meet. His family meant the world to him. She meant the world to him. It only made sense for those two worlds to collide.

When the time finally came, and he spotted his mom with her too many suitcases, his dad and little sister slowly trailing behind, there was an excitement within him that he couldn’t explain. He loved his family endlessly and any time he got to see them was truly something special. His mom spotted him and flew into his arms squeezing him tightly, like he’d been off at war. His father clapped him on the back following it up with a bear hug, while his sister hugged him around the waist. He kissed and greeted them all, only noticing that his girlfriend was nowhere to be seen when they were all standing in front of him. She was still very much in the spot where he’d left her.

“Hey, come here.” He murmured softly reaching for her hand and pulling her into the fray.

He didn’t let go of her hand, just in case she needed that, and by the way she intertwined their fingers he had a feeling that she did.

“Family this is y/n.” He smiled staring at her with all of the adoration that he felt inside. “Y/n, this is family.”

She had wore a black dress that day with a white collar and a wide, skater skirt that went down to her knees--something about being presentable for his mom--and she messed with the skirt of it anxiously as she smiled.

“Hi. We’re very excited to have you here. It’s really wonderful to meet you all. Shawn talks a lot about you.”

He quickly took over wanting to give her the opportunity to lay low and take it all in.

“We figured we could go to lunch before you guys go to the hotel.”

“Yes please. Airplane food is horrible.” His sister sighed.

“Perfect. Let’s go!”

He grabbed for his mom’s bags, sliding one over his shoulder and pulling her suitcases. He watched as his girlfriend politely asked his father and little sister if she could carry their bags. His dad looked at her like she wasn’t speaking english and his sister seemed more than amused with the situation. When she insisted on carrying his bag, he was sure his father was going to say something ignorant and the whole world would come crashing down before they ever made it to the restaurant. But he instead gave her the bag and linked hands with his mom as they walked instead. Crisis averted.

His parents had rented a car for the week and it was an SUV, big enough to carry the luggage that his mother thought was necessary. They drove to the asian bistro he’d taken her to for their first lunch date, and got a big table outside for everyone to sit at. His father pulled the chair out for his mother, something he’d always done, and he gave him a strange look when he didn’t do the same. His parents were wonderfully accepting people, but there seemed to be a generational gap in terms of what the expectations were in relationships. He had a feeling his dad would talk to him about it later.

His mother was kind enough to wait until they’d placed their orders before turning her stare to the two of them. He’d been whispering a joke in her ear about something that happened in class the week before, and when she finally smiled for him he’d tried to contain himself but ended up kissing her cheek anyway. Her cheeks reddened and it felt good to not be the only red faced person at the table.

“So, y/n, we’ve heard so little about you. Tell us about yourself.”

He sent his mom a look that begged her not to embarrass him, but she couldn’t have cared less.

“Well uh I’m getting my master’s in human sexuality. I’m originally from a small town in Indiana, but I moved here specifically for my program. My research is on how mental health affects Trans Women differently, more drastically actually. I’m specifically looking at trans women of color and trying to see how the intersections of race and gender negatively impact mental health due to societal forces and not personal ones? So, I’m not really all that interesting because that’s really all that I do, besides being a TA.” She shrugged.

“She’s completely underselling right now. She’s working with some of the top people in her field. She’s definitely going to get published when she’s done with her research. Everything she’s doing is incredible, and our master’s program only accepts like five people anyway. She was asked to come before she even finished undergrad.” He boasted.

She rolled her eyes at him, hating nothing more in the world than when he talked about all of the things he loved about her, which was frequent. He was just happy he could finally tell the people that mattered most about the woman that mattered most.

“You must be doing really good work then.” His mom smiled reassuringly.

“Yea, well, I just really have to do my part in elevating the voices that we purposely don’t listen to. And that’s a responsibility I don’t take lightly. It’s what matters most to me in the world, so I--I try.”

He could tell that she was getting worked up talking about it, and knowing how uncomfortable feelings made her, he threaded their fingers together under the table in reassurance.

His sister, bless her, began to talk about her AP english course, and how the class had rallied to get a more diverse offering of books than the ones from dead, white guys with too many extensive metaphors. His girlfriend didn’t take this lightly and smiled warmly at every word that she offered. Just as he expected, they immediately began talk back and forth about the things that they knew and the experiences they’d had. His mom seemed to be more than satisfied with everything she heard and they were left to have a wonderful lunch.

By the end of the meal, you couldn't even tell it was their first meeting. Whether she knew so or not, his girlfriend was kind and sweet and funny as all hell fitting in perfectly with his goofy wondrous family. When they were walking back to the car he pulled her close to him, a few steps behind his family, his arm around her shoulder.

“Okay?” He asked simply.

She smiled up at him and nodded.

“Okay.”

tag list:

@nevermindmisha

@alltoowhalee13 @glader-groupa-sub8

#Shawn Mendes #Shawn Mendes Imagine #Shawn Mendes fic #Shawn Mendes fanic #Shawn Mendes fan fiction #Shawn Mendes au #Shawn Mendes college au #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes fluff #Shawn Mendes fanfic #Shawn Mendes series #Shawn Mendes smut #shawn mendes x you #Shawn Mendes x y/n #Shawn Mendes x female reader

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thepointofthestory · 5 years

Text

Pressure Release Valve

I’m starting this blog as a way to release some of the pressure I’m experiencing. A journal to help me process what’s going on and deal with it. I process verbally a lot, which is good, but I can’t afford a therapist right now so I’ve been leaning heavily on friends - and they’re amazing for listening to me, but, I just keep going over the same shit again and again and they have to be getting tired of me. I can’t vent on Facebook anymore - because that’s just so fraught. Anonymous venting onto Tumblr seems like it’s worth trying. So, here we go - first real post. This is some background about one of the topics that’s got me deeply wound.

My father is an elderly man. He is 71 years old with Type 2 Diabetes, Severely Reduced Kidney Function, and Moderate to Severe Sleep Apnea.

A Quick Medical Overview about 15 years ago my dad was in a long term relationship with a woman and was living in her home. During that period he was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and, because he snores to wake the fucking devil, she made him do a sleep study and he was diagnosed with Moderate to Severe Sleep Apnea and given a CPAP machine. About 4 years ago my father’s kidney’s failed. He had a UTI and went in for a contrast dye test for some other issue, and, the combination of those things plus my dad’s unchecked Type 2 Diabeties (and very high blood sugar levels) made his kidney’s throw up their hands and go “Fuck it, we’re done!”

He spent THREE FULL WEEKS in the hospital. At first trying different treatments to see if they could “reboot” my dad’s Kidneys, then, after a day or two doing Dyalisis and getting his bloodwork stabalized. Three full weeks. And he nearly died.

He was released to Hospice/Rehab care where they assessed his abilities and capabilities. They recomended a walker. Set up on-going out-patient Dyalisis treatments. Literally helped him get back on his feet. The Rehab center was wonderful and recomended that he move to a facility with nursing staff. Not that he go into a “Home” or Hospice care, just... a place with medical staff on hand. Someone to help him manage his diet and medications. He refused. Because he’s a grown man, see.

THREE days later he called me at 2 am hysterical. Utterly freaking out. At the time I had a 5 month old baby and I was awake when he called because I was nursing my son. But also I lived an hour and a half away from him and could not understand what he was saying or what was going on. I was sleep deprived. I hung up on him. My sister ended up calling an ambulance to check on him, which was good, because his blood sugar had crashed out so low he was having a delustional episode.

He went back to the hospital. He got stabalized again and relased to go home within 48 hours, but, with the caveat that he take a Diabetes 2 education class. I agreed to go with him to the classes - which were at a location close to his house. So I drove an hour and a half to pick him up, sat through an hour of class, drove him home, made him fucking dinner and then drove an hour and a half back home with breasts that were, at that point, painfully full of milk - because there was no possible time to pump in that whole mess of activity.

The course was 5 classes long, after the 4th class we got into an argument about how he couldn’t just eat McDonalds all the time anymore. Because the class had focused on how fast food was an especially bad choice to make for Diabetics who have other health issues. The teacher had specifically pulled up the nutritional information for a BASIC McDonalds Hamburger and talked about all the reasons why it was bad for blood sugar, even though - yes, there was a high protein count, there were all these added sugars. Our argument began by me basically saying “Now that someone else has said it, will you please stop doing this?” The argument ended when he OPENED THE PASSENGER DOOR OF THE CAR WHILE IT WAS IN MOTION AND THREATENED TO THROW HIMSELF OUT.

I had to pull the car over, get out, shove him back into the car (as he wasn’t able to right himself) while he hit me in the shoulders and threw a tantrum like a toddler about how all the women in his life have ever done is screw him over. I didn’t go to the 5th class. I’m not sure if he did. And I didn’t talk to him or deal with him for months.

During those months my sisters (both younger) discovered that he was so deeply in debt that he was going have all his utilities shut off and to be evicted from his apartment if he was late on another payment. So, they took over his finances. Like, litterally took them over. My youngest sister (who we’ll call Teri) is his Trustee for his social security payments, and, all his money goes into an account that she has access too but that he does not. My middle sister (Who we’ll call Beth) now manages the day to day bill paying and distribution of the account, including putting money weekly onto a pre-paid debit card that my dad has access too for shopping and miscelaneous expenses.

About six or nine months passed and things had evened out a little. My father was coming out to see my son on a fairly regular basis. I was ignoring him to the best of my ability. Working. Raising my son. Ignoring. And then I got a call, while I was at work, from my father. He needed to go to the ER, he said. To schedule a surgery apointment. Huh? He had a wound on his big toe that wouldn’t heal. This happens with Type 2 Diabetics, so it wasn’t a surprise. I was already aware of the wound and that he was seeing doctors about it. He had assured me that he was taking care of the wound and he was having apointments reguarly to have it dressed and assessed, so, I hadn’t done any digging into it. Apparently his doctor had recomended surgery and told him that he should go to the ER in the morning and get scheduled for a surgery apointment... which doesn’t make any sense at all. That’s ... not how that works?

So, I took a break at work and called Kaiser. I spoke to someone who read me the visitation notes from the doctor. Basically, the doctor had come to the conclusion that the tissue was damaged enough that it needed to be abraded and recomended that my father be transported to the hospital and admitted and scheduled for surgery that night. My dad, who was STILL paying off the ambulance bills from his last two hospital stays refused to go. He said he’d drive himself in the morning. His doctor recomended against that and suggested that, if he didn’t want to be transported via ambulance he could get a family member to pick him up. He refused. The doctor made a note in the after visit information that this course of action could result in serious issues up to and including DEATH and that my father was refusing/leaving the office against medical advice.

So.... I got a friend who drives Uber to pick my dad up at his apartment and take him to the closest ER. I met them there. There is a whole story associated with this pick up and my friend had to get his car detailed afterwards. Whee.

When I got to the ER they had my dad laid out in a hospital gown and had done some initial blood testing and my dad was waiting in a curtianed area. His blood sugar was all out of whack. He had an infection in his toe that threatened to spread to his blood - and if you don’t know, blood poisoning is fucking deadly. They were running fluids and antibiotics via IV. The toe was necrotic. Unsaveable. They needed to remove it ASAP. It was a good thing I had gotten him in tonight, the doctor told me. If he had waited until morning he might have fallen asleep and never woken up.

They ended up removing his big toe from the first knuckle to the tip, and wrapping it up. He went back to Hospice/Rehab and spent another 3 weeks learning how to use a cane to help him walk. He was instructed to use the cane all the time, but especially while he was recovering from surgery. He never used it, still doesn’t.

Another six months pass. It’s December now his toe has never healed from surgery. Refusing to use the cane has put too much pressure on the toe and it won’t heal. Being diabetic makes it important that he keep it clean and dry, but, he continues to stand up to pee ... and misses the toilet regularly. So... he’s peeing on his open wound and not changing the bandage or cleaning the wound.

And, so, there’s a need for a second surgery. This time they take the whole toe. And it’s back to rehab. Again. Where he ends up pushing for release early - and ends up getting authorized to go home on Christmas Eve. This time he promises he’ll use his cane. He does not.

It’s been two years now without any catastropic injuries or events. He’s mostly stabalized but his kidney function is in the 24% range (which is a failing grade on any test I can think of) but means that he doesn’t require regular Dyalisis. His Diabetes is under control only with the help of medication, and his A1C is generally in the 6-7 range, which is boarderline and if it gets any worse will not be able to control it with the meds he’s on. He’ll have to do insulin injections - this is an ineveitablity. But he doesn’t test his blood sugar.

He continues to ignore the dietary recomendations for both his Diabetic and Renal conditions. He refuses to use his cane. My father comes out to my house on Tuesdays to spend time with my son. Mostly he naps in the chair in the living room and we feed him dinner, so at least he’s getting one good meal a week. But, recenly, over the last three months he’s been falling more. He shows up to my place with new visible scrapes and bruises every week. He always wears slacks and a button up shirt, sometimes with a sweater. So, the visible bruising is on his wrists, hands, and face. In addition to that he *falls down* in front of me once every two weeks or so. These falls are not little falls. He trips, looses his balance and just CRUMPLES into a heap on the floor. Usually face first. Often he doesn’t even have time to put his hands out to slow his fall.

Recently, I suggested we move his recliner so that it was out of the walk-way into his living room. I have noticed that he often bumps into it or starts to stumble when walking through the narrow walk-way to get into his living room, because it’s in the way. I suggested we move it to the other side of the coffee table, about 2 feet to the right. And then, before he could protest, I said that if that meant he was too close to the TV, that we could then swap where his desk and TV sit, which would clear his desk chair out from in front of the entrance to the kitchen - removing another hazard.

Keep in mind: I DO THIS FOR A LIVING. I am a personal organizer and I help reorganize and reorder people’s spaces for better work-life flow. I am not simply making random suggestions. I’ve thought about this for a while, and, it was a soft suggestion, not an order or an edict.

But he flipped the fuck out on me. He dug deep into the past to pull out some horrible bullshit he *did do me* as a kid and tried to weaponize it like it was shit I did to him. It was dramatastic and awful, and, in hindsight probably an indication that his blood sugar is way off. Because he was super irrational and kept saying he was shaking.

I just get to sucked into his fucking tantrums and bullshit, because of a life-long dynamic of screaming fights and hysteria on his part. I try. I really do. But I never recognize the possible low/high bloodsugar behavior until after the fact.

#bitching #venting #parents #diabetic #diabetes #kidney failure #renal #diet #cane #falling #falling hazard #tripping hazard #over reaction #over reacting #frustration #medical drama #death and dying

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sunatooru · 3 years

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I LOVE U AHAHA i’m glad u worked out!! we love to see it, idk about u but i feel so much better after i’m done working out! i went for a morning walk today too and i’m gonna do my squats soon as i shit out my morning coffee bc that shit was BUBBLING in my stomach and needs to be let out asap 💀 PLS my friend is adorable i love them heaps and also my melbourne friends pls 🥺🥺 i miss them bc of this fuckin lockdown and border closure, i miss having study/gossip sessions at my apartment and i’d feed them random snacks i’d get from daiso like i’d send them pics in the gc saying “guys these are this week’s snacks bc we’ve never tried them before!” and they’d text the gc back like “oh can’t wait!! it looks good!” anyways, i haven’t told u my fav book so don’t fret! uhhh i have a bunch tbh i can’t pick one! i like the little prince by antoine de saint-exupéry, the book thief by markus zusak, my most recent fav is station 11 by emily st. john mandel, read that in 2020, peak lockdown book highly recommend! my fav short story is the yellow wallpaper by charlotte perkins gilman and tbh there’s heaps more but those are what i can think of and also i recommend them all if they ever sound good to u 👀 omg i relate to seeing a really good show that hits you so intensely in the feels, i’ll have to give it a watch sometime, but i’m in a big reading mood so i’m gonna take advantage of that first! YES i’m acc trying to study bc i got an essay due on the 19th 😭😭 bitch idk what the FOOK is going on in this class fr, i’m fully struggling but anyways yes i can’t wait for my internship!! that is project hush hush btw, it’s the internship and the processes behind it 👀 i’m not specifying where it is or anything yet bc i’m scared it’ll fall thru bc nothings confirmed 🥲 i mean it is but i overthink <3 so in my mind it isn’t and i’m sorry you’ve been in a shit mood lately, i’ve been feeling the same too! do you wanna talk about it? i’m all ears 👂🏽👁👅👁👂🏽 - 🕯

NOT THE COFFEE SHITS OMDS💀😭 but you know, cleanse the system and everything lmaoo but yes squats and make the booty burn 😂 that’s soo cute and sad cos it’s like ‘look this could be us being together and having fun’ shskflf but you and your friends are cute af

And wait I think I know some of those books I think I might pick one up cos you seem to really enjoy them and yesss I guess what you mean by on a reading mood. I use to read so many things when I was in my teens like morning too night I would stay up reading because I just NEED to know what happens but recently I’ve been more of a watching mood (even tho it’s probs bad for my eyes) but oh well 😅 good luck on thy assignment tho but you look like you’re gonna do fine!

😂baby some overthink like that or you might actually jinx yourself but I’m sure it’ll officially be confirmed and you can stop worrying <3

Ah i think it’s just cos I was on my period and like idk just wasn’t feeling good but I watched the new marvel movie yesterday (Shang-Chi) and it was sooo good like the females owned me wow beautiful immaculate 🥰 but yeah maybe I need to eat more too cos I’m eating as much from being tired

Don’t worry tho! I’m okay just a little slump 😁

#b.interacts #honeyb{🕯anon}

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burmecianblackmage · 6 years

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Goodbye 2017 - Hello 2018

[[EDIT: tumblr did mess it up. Urgh. So this is now two hours late... sorry guys -.-]]

If tumblr doesn’t mess things up (and it hasn’t during the advent calendar, so I’m willing to give it the benefit of the doubt and assume it won’t), then this post should hit the dash exactly when the clock strikes midnight over here in Switzerland, and the new year begins. And that means it’s the perfect time to say...

Happy 2018 guys!

I hope you all will have a wonderful new year, one that will make you forget all the bad things that happened in 2017, and leave you a happy and content little human by the time 2019 rolls around in 365 days.

May your year be full of moments that make you smile, moments of love and friendship, moments of success and accomplishment, and above all, full of health and happiness. I am very happy to have met all of you, and to have interacted with you, whether it be by playing, by talking, or even just by reading some of each other’s works. You lot have been a big part in what kept me going this year, and I want you to know I’m really thankful for that. I hope we can enjoy much of the next year together as well, and that no matter where the year will lead you, you will be happy. I love you all.

As a little extra, I’ll put a little review of my and Sceada’s year under the cut - at least I hope it will remain somewhat little. But you know me... Anyhow. I’m placing it under the cut so as not to spam you, and also because I will address some stuff regarding my health and Sceada’s sexuality as well, and I know not everyone is comfortable with that. I’ll mark them with a small header so you can skip them, but I just wanted to warn you beforehand~

With that out of the way, here we go! And for those who don’t wanna read it: Happy 2018!!

The Mun’s Year in Review

Well, you all know that this year hasn’t been an easy one, and I daresay it was a rough one for everyone. Still, I do feel like I should talk a little bit about the hardships I’ve had to face, and the struggles that’ll accompany me for much of the year to come, if not the entire one. So... here goes.

Health

As many of you know, I had a tumor in December 2016, namely an Ependymom that was lodged in my spinal marrow, at about the tenth to twelfth thoracic vertebrae. It had caused me stiffness and loss of sensitivity in my legs, and once we found it, there had been little choice but to remove it asap.

Ever since then, I’ve been needing a wheelchair. And I started 2017 at rehab in the Swiss Paraplegic Center in Nottwil. Mind you, it’s probably the best facility in the world for such a situation, and I learned a ton of stuff, including how to walk again with the help of crutches - still, spending half a year stuck at rehab ain’t exactly fun.

Especially when you also have to relearn stuff like bladder management, using the toilet and what not. Do you want to take a wild guess at how helpless you feel when you can’t even go to the toilet on your own, when you can’t help but soiling yourself because you have yet to regain control over your lower body functions? If you don’t know, you don’t ever want to find out. Gods was I relieved when it all turned out to be functioning properly after all...

And it’s not like it’s been the only health thing that affected me. I needed another eye surgery, for the Keratoconus developing in my right eye after we already had to do the left one last year, and I’ve been struggling to get used to it since then. First with my old glasses, now with the new ones I still cannot wear for more than like two hours at a time... - Oh, did I mention that insurance didn’t cover the 1700.- surgery by the way? Goodbye my savings I had been clinging onto...

And let us not forget that due to my immune system having gotten weaker, I also have this amazing pleasure of falling sick faster! Stomach flu? Come right in and stay three weeks! Dizziness? Hello darkness my old friend! Regular cold? Knock me out for four days, feel free to! Urgh -.-

Add to that a heap of spasms in my left leg that have been present all along, but got considerably worse now that winter rolled around. We know by not it’s not due to the tumor resurfacing (because it can do that, they couldn’t remove it entirely after all without cutting my nerves!) but can you imagine how nervous you get while waiting for the answer? And it’s not like the spasms are any help walking either, rendering me less mobile again after I had improved so much beforehand...

But enough of that. I could sadly go on and on here (I haven’t even brushed my mental stuff yet, oh boy...), but I’ll spare you that. It’s gotten long enough as it is anyhow... Let’s move on to other topics.

Work and Finances

Look, it’s not as though I had a job really when they found the tumor - or actually, yes it is. I may have been in an internship of sorts organized by disability services, but I had a job lined up where I could have started in January - Alas, it never happened. And seeing how I can no longer work my original job in retail (no electronics store will hire someone in a wheelchair. You can’t do the cleaning jobs, can’t fill the shelves and are slow to get around. Plus, how the fuck are you gonna fetch a 55′’ TV from the storage when a customer wants to buy it?), I am now actually trying to find a new purpose for myself. Gladly, disability services will help me with that... though it won’t be easy, and I dunno if I’ll be ready to start a new apprenticeship in summer like they hope. Cause it’s unlikely any spots will still be available...

Still, they are hopeful, and in order to get me back in the swing, they placed me in the same internship/training thing again, starting with just two hours daily. By now I’m in the office the entire morning on weekdays, and it’s going good so far. I’ll be there at least three more months.

And then, who knows? Maybe they’ll send me into finances and banking, or perhaps communal administration? We’ll see.

What is upsetting is the financial situation though. Due to being at rehab, I had to file for social aid - and the money they give me is very, very little for swiss measures. While I was at rehab, it was about 240, now it’s roughly 760 I get - even though I do actually get almost 3500 per month for the internship form disability services. But all that goes to social services to “pay off the debt”... Urgh >.>

For reference, an average 42 hours per week job in retail would pay between 3900 and 4200 per month. So yeah... Granted, they cover my health insurrance (which is 55o-ish per month, mind you!), but it’s still rough... The price levels here in Switzerland are just so damn high...

Social Life

Which leads me to this... I barely ever go out anymore these days. I can’t afford doing much, and what little I do afford is a pain to do due to the wheelchair. I can no longer just spontaneously go somewhere, or attend an event, I always need someone to drive me or even join me - and that inevitably leads to you not doing much anymore, you know?

I barely have any real contact with my rl friends anymore, I at most attend a MTG event every 3 months (PreReleases, nothing more sadly...), my DnD group also fell apart (though that was unrelated)... - Honestly, if it weren’t for you guys here online, especially those who talk to me on Discord and such, I’d be completely socially isolated, and that sucks. It sucks big time...

Gladly my girlfriend sticks with me, believes in me and loves me. Even if I can’t see her as much anymore, as we both can’t really afford the flights to visit each other, which is rather lonely too... We only managed to afford a few weeks in August together, when she visited me here with my room still unfinished. If the paraplegic foundation didn’t have the kindness to pay for her flights and hotel in March while I was still at rehab, that’d have been the only time I’d seen her this entire year....

So yeah. Things aren’t easy right now. Which is why I hope... next year will see improvements. It just has to...

Sceada’s Year in Review

When the last year ended, Sceada was a heartbroken virgin longing for affection and deeply missing the woman he loved, Leonora. He knew who he was though, a talented mage and a scholar of old languages who found work here and there, traveling wherever he pleased and slowly but surely building friendships with more and more people.

If you look at him now, he is instead riddled by insecurities, questions pretty much everything about himself to the point he is neglecting work at times in order to investigate his origins and maybe find his father. And the answers he longs for. Oh, he’s also entered a relationship with Maria and become - and here I quote Locke who was very, very pissed about this a few days ago - an accomplished lover.

But let’s look at things a bit more step by step, shall we?

A brief overview

Following Leonorâ’s prolonged absence, Sceada begins looking for other sources of affection, becoming rather flirty and sometimes even bold with Fran and Selphie, while deepening his friendship with Maria during their trip and afterwards

Sceada and Maria get rather close following him finding her having a nightmare, and staying with her to offer comfort

Leila captures the mage and, after tying him to her bed and appealing to his curiosity, takes his virginity. Later a second encounter occurs, where he they both are drunk at a Festival, before parting ways again.

Upon having spent Valentine’s Day with his friend Maria, Sceada discovers he has developed feelings for her. However, when voicing them, he finds them to be unrequited, and he tries to distance himself from her for a while.

Leonora finally returns, and during the initial happiness the two share a passionate night before the Sage encourages Sceada to follow his heart and pursue Maria, suggesting he could be or become polyamorous.

Sceada spends more time together with Maria, becoming closer again, but is content with just being friends. This changes when the pair are attacked by Coeurls, and Sceada nearly sacrifices himself to protect her, causing Maria to realize her feelings. When he recovers, the two become a pair, and slowly, over time, grow closer and closer.

Conflicted by his feelings for both Maria and Leonora (and to an extent, Leila as well...), Sceada seeks out a Goddess of Love, looking for advice. His silent hopes for reassurance in loving both women are however aptly crushed when the deity questions his motives for loving them, leading him to realize how much suppressed doubt and insecurity he has carried with himself.

Upon trying to tell Leonora more about Maria, Sceada’s motives are once again questioned, leading to an unfortunate argument that exposes a lack of trust on his end that Sceada had not been aware of. Unwilling to let herself be hurt by this any longer, Leonora suggests they part ways - they have not seen each other nor communicated in any way since then.

Sceada tries to forget about it all, hoping he could overcome it all with Maria’s love. However, when she wishes to take their relationship to the next step, he feels guilty over not having told her, and in the subsequent conversation many an uncomfortable truth and emotion are laid bare. Still, the pair reconcile, staying together and eventually consummate on their relationship.

Knowing that he will not be able to ignore the burning questions in his heart and mind any longer, Sceada begins to prepare to leave on a journey, just as the Goddess had suggested. He arranges for the eventuality that he might not return with his old rival Seshat Khnum, but before he can leave, Maria implores him to stay with her until the new year.

Making the most of this opportunity, Sceada holds his advent calendar again, and at the end of the year, attends the Garden Festival organized by Selphie.

Of course, there have been plenty of other plays as well, and I wouldn’t miss any of them. For example, Sceada finally opening up to Freya, or adventuring together with Jack in order to grab a certain book from the library of Burmecia, and all the shenanigans with little Stabby McStabstab Vani the Helfling Rogue - There was so much I adore, and not enough room here to mention them all. Just know that I loved all of our interactions!

A little note about the Smut

Yes, you read that right. I already mentioned stuff further up, but I still wanna note it here too, and add what’s missing up there.

We’ve already seen that he slept with Leila twice and Leonora once before he then got together with Maria, and well... let’s just say that those two may have taken a long time to get started, but haven’t been exactly innocent since - Sindays ahoy, is all I’ll say ;) But there have also been others, which I am not yet exactly certain whether to consider them canon to his main story, or separate cases - there’s merit in both, mind you, and I’ll probably ask the ladies involved eventually too. But who were they?

There is an as of yet unfinished thread with Fran, where the two engage in intimacies in a spring in the woods, after Sceada followed her and her enticing scent. One could argue that this is mainly heat relief, but it is not as though Sceada is exactly unwilling or that he is uninterested in the beautiful Viera...

The few encounters he’s had with Selphie were things got frisky somehow all share a similar pattern: Be it a playful argument, a bet they had or simply because sharing a bed leads to some “friction”, there is always something triggering the situation getting a bit more intimate and well... no one can deny that Selphie is a person you can have much fun with...

I also want to mention Aria, though the way our plays so far have played out, I kinda headcanon it as the two of them having been willing to get more physical three times so far, and Sceada stopping it each time because he noticed Aria wasn’t certain about it, and quite nervous, even afraid at times. And if there’s one thing he wants more than to avoid hurting her, it’s for her to enjoy this decision and not regret it... Perhaps the moment will still come, should we resume playing and point them in that direction.

There are two more ladies I played with, where things are rather kinky. One of them is on Discord and a fellow Black Mage, who’s been tons of tun to write with - the other a blog dedicated to sinful threads. I’ll refrain from naming either for now, as these two are likely to remain their own verses.

Final notes

Finally, I’d like to mention that there is also one more I play with on Discord after she left tumblr, and that her muse Anima is a pleasure to write with in all three verses we came up with. Also, I just wanna thank everyone who played with me this year, and I look forward to continue doing so - as well as meet new people!

Sceada will soon leave on his journey, and that means there is plenty of room for new friendships to be forged, and acquaintances to be made - or rivalries and enmities! I’m open for anything!

With that said, if you’re still reading this, I apologize for rambling for so long. I wish you a very, very good new year and thank you for putting up with me! Have fun tonight, have fun the entire next year, and I hope to interact with you again in 2018!!

Thanks for everything,

Patrick~

#ooc #Mun Info #Muse Info #sorry for how long I ramble again #I had somehow more to say than I expected #and still feel as though I haven't said it all #I'd better shut up now hehe #Have a nice year folks!!

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boystownbirdie · 7 years

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LMWTV4U: GOT S7E2

It’s time for another installment of let me watch TV for you (LMWTV4U) where I watch TV shows so you don’t have to! Today I’ll be re-capping the latest ep of Game of Thrones, Season 7.

As always, spoiler alert! Also, reminder that I have a new feature called WHY DOES THIS SCENE EVEN MATTER or (WDTSEM?) to help us decipher those random scenes that seemingly serve no purpose. SO MUCH HAPPENED TONIGHT SO LET’S GO!!!!!

We start at Dragonstone where Khaleesi and co are still strategizin’

Khaleesi’s pals are trying to get her to attack QPC ASAP but she’s not really havin’ it. She proceeds to rip Sleevey a new a-hole for his lack of loyalty. If you’ll recall Sleevey is a schemer and is the one who basically brought together all of Khaleesi’s current crew but also was the one who sent assassins to kill Khaleesi back in season 1. She’s like will you be loyal 2 me? And he’s like sure...until I’m not anymore. And then you can kill me. And she’s like kewl good plan also will you lemme know if I’m doing a bad job as Kween and he’s like yep, sure.

Next, the red witch lady (who Bae sent away at the end of Season 6 because she burned alive this sweet bb gurl but also who brought him back from the dead) shows up on Khaleesi’s doorstep. Khaleesi is like hey what up I also speak the fanciest language and your religion is #trending back home and helping to keep people calm so… thanks. And the witch lady is like great, also FYI Bae is pretty fine and just got named “King of the North” thought you should know. Tyrion, who is like basically vice president, is like ya I remember Bae he was a kewl kid we met in Season 1. Obvi Khaleesi doesn’t know that Bae is her nephew yet but she’s like, well let’s invite him to hang out here but he’s got to #bowdownbitches to moi.

Later in the ep, we pop back by Dragonstone and Khaleesi is meeting with her peeps in the map room. Previously-traumatized Theon’s (PTT’s) sister is like we should launch our armies and dragons on Queen Pixie Cut (QPC) like right now please because she’s a shady bitch. And then the Sand Queen (she’s the one whose daughters are called the “Sand Snakes” and who stabbed her brother in law and took over down South last season) is like BTW I hate the Lannisters and my hubby got his head squeezed to death 2 seasons ago when he was defending YOUR honor, Tyrion and I’m not over it. And also Queen Makeunder’s (who got ‘sploded last season) grandma is there and she is like I miss my granddaughter and also you shouldn’t worry about burning up innocent people with dragons because QPC did it and now look at her!

Khaleesi is like I #respectmyelders but also, naw dawg. She decides PTT’s sis and Sand Queen will head down south and round up all of their troops together then they’ll attack QPC slowly because she can’t bring her Dothraki dudes and Unsullied troops over there it would be CHAOS. She does decide to send the unsullied troops to Tyrion’s hometown, Casterly Rock, to take that place over. Everyone is pretty on board with this plan except for Grandma so Khaleesi’s like DM- me, k? Khaleesi and grandma sit down and gma is like you should not trust Tyrion, this plan is dumb. Also, you ARE a dragon. And Khaleesi is like thnx for the inspo but.... I don’t wanna burn everyone up.

Then, Khaleesi’s bestie/translator who is FLY AS HELL and has the coolest outfits and hairstyles, goes to talk to Greyworm, the leader of the unsullied army. These 2 have had the hots for eachother forever, so it’s no surprise when they FINALLY HOOKUP YAASSS GAGA! If you’ll recall the unsullied are all castrated as kids so he’s kinda embarrassed about his lack-of-package, but hottie translator is like NBD let’s do this. And so he, much like Jon Snow season 3, is like NBD lemme go down on you and she is LOVING IT. And it’s a great scene because we haven’t had nearly as much sensuality on GoT in the past few years and we needed it.

Let’s stop in Winterfell to check in on Bae and Sansa, shall we?

That letter that Khaleesi mailed to Bae has already arrived and Bae is like I know it’s legit because Tyrion put an inside joke in there that only he and I would get, OK? Sansa is like yep I was briefly married to Tyrion against both of our wills and he was v nice to me and treated me well. And No-Knuckles is there too and he’s like fire kills those ice zombies and dragons = fire and everyone is like sure but can we trust her?

Later in the ep, Bae gets the letter that his bestie, Sam, sent him in last week’s ep about how there’s heaps o’ dragonglass under dragonstone. Bae is like ok now that I’ve got these 2 very informative letters, I need to go see Khaleesi. All of his pals/ people loyal to him are like BAD IDEA, BAE don’t leave us we need you. And Sansa is like ya dude you can’t just leave and then no one’s in charge over here and he’s like LEAN IN GURL YOU DA KWEEN OF WINTERFELL. And she’s like I guess I never considered that but Ok, fine.

Then Bae stops by to visit their dad’s grave (well actually his uncle but he doesn’t know yet) and Littlefinger comes creepin’ around like hey remember how your stepmom was always mean to you? I was in love with her! And Bae’s like GTFO. And Littlefinger is like #you’rewelcome #dwaynetherockjohnsoninmoana for helping you win this place back last season. And Bae is like don’t touch Sansa, k?

WDTSEM? We’re supposed to think Sansa might just take Littlefinger’s advice and do some sort of plot to take over from Bae, especially now that they’re fighting on the regs and now she’s all in charge. Personally, I think Sansa is smarter than that and also she’s made it quite clear that she’s grossed out by Littlefinger, esp his obsession with her mom. WHO KNOWS what will happen, but this last scene is probably supposed to plant some seeds of doubt.

We briefly touch base in King’s Landing with QPC…

She’s sitting on the coveted throne-of-swords and telling people how awful Khaleesi is. She’s like ya…. She’s gonna burn y’all up with her dragons. And everyone is like but remember last season when you burned up half of this city? Sam’s dad is there and he was a major dick last season and nothing seems to have changed in that department. QPC’s bro/lover, Jamie, is like will you please fight for us? And he’s like I would but I promised that grandma (who is currently #teamKhaleesi) that I’d be loyal to her so… no. But Jamie is like well if you change your mind I can put you in charge and you can forget about grandma. He doesn’t seem convinced but we’ll see.

Later in the ep, QPC checks out some dragon skulls with the “maester” because now that Khaleesi has these dragons, she’s gotta figure something out. He shows her this giant crossbow/catapult thing he’s made that can kill dragons and she’s like wow kewl.

We also briefly check in with Sam in “Old Town”

He’s still interning at the maester-training-academy and he’s treating Khaleesi’s former bestie, Stoney, who has that terrible skin-turning-to-stone disease. Sam’s boss is like sorry, Stoney, you’re done-zo, you have to go live with the stonemen. And Sam is like hold up, you’re a Mormont? My old boss when I was in the celibate-dude-ice-wall-guarding-army was your dad and he was a badass. Also, I had to watch these creepy dudes stab him so I owe your fam. He tries to talk about cures for the Stone disease but his boss is like SHUT UP YOU’RE JUST AN INTERN!

So Sam comes back that night and is like ok would it be kewl with you if I perform surgery on you, Stoney? I am just an intern and I’ve never practiced this before but let’s try it. And then we have to watch a truly disgusting surgical-removal of stone-skin that honestly even writing about it I’m dry heaving.

Arya is still on the road, headed to kill QPC last we checked…

She stops in to this pub to see an old friend name HOT PIE (that’s his real name, not a nickname) who is a wonderful chef. She eats some of his bread and drinks some beer and he keeps asking her questions but she is REALLY EVASIVE and won’t look him in the eye. He asks about Ladyknight, who we know is now working for Sansa full time, but who previously was trying to find Arya too. Arya is like, ya, she found me but then I had to head east to the face-swapping-assassin-training-academy. And he’s like you should check out Winterfell because I know you’re secretly a Stark. And she’s like NO THANKS, the Boltons are in charge over there and I don’t wanna get skinned alive. And he’s like NAW BITCH your bro, Bae, is in charge over there now. Which I guess in all of her travels she still didn’t know this? IDK seems fishy. But then she’s getting ready to leave and is about to keep heading to kill QPC but then CHANGES HER MIND AND HEADS TOWARD WINTERFELL! It was a very sweet moment in the episode and full disclosure I did tear up a little.

WDTSEM? Arya, in her current life as an assassin, has lost some of her humanity, as shown when she can’t even look her old pal in the eye. But finding out that her bro is still alive and that her old home, Winterfell, is in the Starks’ hands again has changed her. After meeting Ed Sheeran last week and his whole crew who reminded her of the importance of home and being with family, she’s finally deciding there are more important things in life than revenge. Which is kind of sweet.

Later, she stops for the night and is trying to stay warm by a fire when her horse starts gettin’ real spooked. Suddenly a pack of giant wolves (which are totally her brand because #stark) surrounds her, and she realizes one of them is her old pet who she set free back in season 1. She’s like hey.... Remember me… we were friends? And the wolf is like ummm… new phone who dis? And she’s like please come with me, I’m headed home. But the wolf is like sorz, can’t. And she says “that’s not you.” IDK if she means this is literally not her old pet or if she’s saying this feral version of you with a pack of wolves is not the wolf I knew. It doesn’t take a TV genius to figure out wolf = Arya and she’s conflicted between her new “feral side” and her old, daughter of a Stark side.

Our last scene is A DOOZY and it takes place on the high seas…

PTT and his sis are headed south with the Sand Queen (SQ) lady per Khaleesi’s instructions. We get a quick scene with her daughters, the Sand Snakes, just to remind us they’re all badasses and then we check in on SQ, PTT and his sis. SQ is like why do you keep your bro around he’s always acting all previously-traumatized. And his sis is like he protects me, but SQ is like you don’t need protection… and she and the sis start touching each other. PTT is like that’s my cue to leave, but just as some hawt SQ on PTT-sis action is about to go down, their ship is under attack. PTT and sis head upstairs and it turns out their crazy Uncle has come to find them!

He sets all of their ships on fire and is tearing through all of their armies. The Sand Snakes put up a fight but sadly are taken out one-by-one. SQ is captured and is like, please kill me, but they do not. Then PTT’s sis and uncle go head to head. PTT’s sis is a major badass but uncle crazy-pants has craziness on his side and also captures her. He’s holding her hostage, about to cut her throat, so PTT is like ummmmmm….idk what to do. He’s clearly having some serious PTSD, so rather than make any decision, he jumps off the boat. His sis seems v v disappointed because she was literally just bragging about how he can protect her. He survives but is last seen floating sadly, watching all of their ships burn and his sis get taken away…

WDTSEM? Remember last week when uncle crazy-pants came to see QPC and bragged about having 2 hands? Well he promised to bring her a gift, and while my initial guess that it would be some sort of dragon-horn was probably off, it seems like the gift he’s bringing are these hostages. He now has the Sand Queen and PTT’s sis, both of whom are v powerful players. Having them to bargain with will be very helpful for QPC, assuming that’s the plan.

Final thoughts:

This ep was actually pretty great, minus the disgusting amateur surgery scenes! The fight scene at the end clearly had a huge budget and it showed- the fiery sparks throughout the entire scene were so cool and we’ve never seen much fighting-at-sea (with ships v. ships instead of ships v. land). The CGI people really did a bang up job if you ask me! #nerdalert

Biggest surprise this ep: I did NOT see that whole attack at the end coming! Also, everything is happening so fast! Everyone is learning about everyone else so quickly. I feel like in past seasons it would have taken us 2 eps at least to get something in the mail but now the mail’s coming 2-3 times an ep!

Biggest letdown:I was hoping, based on the preview, that Bae would really come for Littlefinger and squeeze him real good, but he was pretty gentle. Shoulda known because Bae is not one to strangle willy-nilly but DAMN I am sick of listening to Littlefinger.

Important fashion moments: Khaleesi’s shiny black get up was pretty great and I’m coming around to Sansa’s weird chain necklace.

Who died this ep? The Sand Snakes (RIP) and a bunch of Iron-Islanders (PTT’s people) and probably some Dornish people too (SQ’s people)

Thanks for reading, tell your friends! Check in next week!

#LMWTV4U #GOT #GOTS7E2 #game of thrones #stormborn #theon greyjoy #arya stark #khaleesi #sansa stark #cersei lannister #jorah mormont

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