#I’m so beyond touched

[fayes-fics]

Hi! I have no idea if this is a strange thing so send to someone hence the anon but I just wanted to say thank you!

I had a bit of sexual trauma I was working through which led to me getting in my head and me and my partner hadn’t really been having sex for like a year and a half (😅😅)- I found your fics and I don’t even know what witchcraft but they’ve kinda fixed me????

The way you write all the lovely delicious things that can happen with someone you love has managed to get me out of my own head and in the moment and enjoying this all again as if I’ve discovered it for the first time. I’ve even started writing my own little bits and sending them to my bf!

It’s a lot to put on an internet stranger, I know, but I feel like I’ve found apart of myself that I lost. You’ve probably saved my relationship. Thank you❤️

Nonny

I am… I am truly speechless and just so, well, awed that my writing has been able to do anything as profound as this for anyone.

Firstly, I am so, so sorry you experienced sexual trauma. That must have been awful. While I’m so happy I’ve been able to help, I would encourage you to chat to a therapist about what you’ve experienced, if you have the means or ability to do so.

I am so happy you have been able to reconnect with a side of yourself that was missing. I’m also so happy you have started writing yourself too!

I want to thank you for sending this - It is not a strange thing to send at all. And not putting anything on me as an internet stranger, I promise you. I’ve never gotten any feedback that is even half as powerful as this about anything in my life. To think something I do to entertain myself and others could ever do anything like save a relationship is, well, so humbling and amazing.

I’m SO grateful you reached out. It must’ve taken courage to even write this down and I just want to say I’m in awe of you and what you have done for yourself. If my writing even played a tiny part I’m so unbelievably delighted. I’m actually crying happy tears for you tbh. And I’m crying cos I’m so touched you would take the time and care to tell me about it.

Thank YOU for being the awesome person you are. Please reach out anytime. I love connecting even if on anon. I wish you so much joy and contentment for you as a person and within your relationship.

Again THANK YOU for reaching out.

Much love & light,

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡 Faye xx

#faye answers #feedback is golden #wow thank you seriously #I honestly can’t believe this #I’m so beyond touched

[chaoscallsdummies]

progress is progress for everyone, myself included c’: some practice pieces I’ve been working on with Shadow and Amy

#shadow the hedgehog #amy rose #shadamy #sonic fanart #onlyart #when the fanfics give you inspiration #cause they always do #had to get the wiggles out #wips I’ll probably never touch again #but thank you for being here #shadow looks so tired #Amy looks beyond compare #so like I’m gonna go on about this one #there’s a moment in the fic where they stop at a gas station #and they’re talking because shadow is just so done with life #he can’t even comprehend words that’s how done he is #it’s like 2am like dead of night and they’ve been on his bike #and Amy understands he can’t put his frustration into words #so she just SITS with him and is just PRESENT #and to compensate HER feelings shadow does this little toe touch thingie and #I DIED #cc's sketchbook

[walker-lister]

i've been wanting to make a post for some time contemplating misogyny and sexism in doctor who fandom and how i genuinely think it's worth considering how it can range from aggressive to unconscious, influence readings of the show as well as perceptions of fans in fan spaces, and how the hostile and defensive atmosphere which has seemingly soaked into all of the internet now (and also real life at conventions too honestly) can both raise these issues and dismiss them, decry them and encourage them, but honestly... it all makes me really tired so this'll have to do for now

#this could also apply to a whole load of other bigotries #and probs mix together with other bigotries and develop like bacteria it's not like they're entities that never touch #not to mention beyond the fandom in the show itself as well as the press and reviewers #this is a topic that deserves a lot more care and attention but like i said i'm so tired #I would like to be more optimistic but I’m also a person dealing with stuff yet i also feel like these things need to be discussed ya know #doctor who #thirteenth doctor

[stealingyourbones]

The want and urge to animate an eldritch horror Danny Phantom is so strong and yet I don’t have the artistic skill or knowledge of particular types of animation to fully do the idea in my mind justice

#bones speaks #you know that one arg channel? _Boisvert #that one #the angel from that #that’s the best way to describe what’s going on in my head #I feel the need to animate and not draw it bc drawing it won’t show the extent of the *wrongness* ya know #angels say ‘be not afraid’ for a damn reason when first meeting people and I need Danny to have the same vibe #sorta holy or divine and visually goes beyond human comprehension so much so that we can only see what our brain can best process #which is to say: some creepy ass bullshit of an amalgam horror creature of colossal size and power #When I look at Eldritch Horror Danny it needs to be so much overstimulation of shit going on that I instantly start dissociating #it needs to be so much at the same time that it genuinely makes you mentally break #if you check out that ARG channel: be warned that it’s main theme is depression and hopelessness. it may send you into a depressive spiral. #it has frightening and VERY unnerving imagery along with religious themes and gore and a LOT of staring #just so y’all know and I don’t accidentally make y’all dissociate or anythin cause that shit nearly instantly makes me lose touch w reality #like I should enjoy watching it bc it genuinely makes me feel bad and yet the curiosity of such an interesting take of the medium an just- #it’s just so cool ya know? stuff Beyond Comprehension and exsistential dread is just FASCINATING. #like Everywhere at the End of Time #that shit? instantly makes me have an anxiety attack and makes me off the rest of the day. #do I find it incredibly intriguing and on the occasion listen to it again knowing damn well that I’m setting myself up for a shitty day? yes #it’s just sO COOL #audio format of dementia is beautifully haunting. I worked for a time volunteering helping dimentia patients. some of them… #they were hollow. empty shells of a person that when I saw them all I could visualize was that awful static from the album just going on and #on forever. there was nothing left. that shit and morality scares the SHIT out of me and equally entices me #tw dissociation #tw memory loss #tw dementia

[scala-ask-caelum]

Class Notes: Heartless (by Xehanort)

The Heartless are born from the darkness in people’s hearts, and there are two main types. Pureblood Heartless spawn naturally, while Emblem Heartless were projected in the past by the Book of Prophecies, a manuscript containing knowledge of the future. By fighting Heartless, ancient Keyblade wielders collected light known as “lux” to try and prevent the Keyblade War. Master Odin hasn’t told us who created Emblem Heartless in the future for the Book to project, but someone had to create them, right? Maybe even he doesn’t know.

#not an ask #Xehanort #Class Notes #(When the askbox is dry I’m gonna do a touch of writing and worldbuilding) #(So yes they do learn about Daybreak Town stuff beyond the existence of the Book)

[el-im]

personally it's hard to feel excited for snw when it just feels so hollow? im not sure if it's the pacing or what but it feels ungenuine? and beyond that people's characters feel rushed? like i know hemmer had to be replaced but like we could've spent way more time on his character! he was interesting! (i might be biased bc i love the andorians) and not even touching whatevers going on with spock. or chapel. this is the least of my grievances but when they put that black undershirt on pikes green wraparound...hate crime.

yeah, I mean. whatever. I watched it in a single sitting when I was sick and it beat laying in bed looking up at the whitewashed ceiling.

I agree the exposition of characters seem very rushed. It kind of violated the “show, don’t tell” rule, particularly w la’an, who was kind of put in a position that needed her to air her dirty laundry in front of the whole crew. I wish they’d had time to create narratives around past experiences, kind of like they did with Kirk/Tarsus in TOS, in which his participation in a historical event was made relevant by whatever was going on in the ep. (This was kind of(?) done in the Jurassic Park Knockoff Ep they did but not super successfully). I do believe it’s a pacing issue.

That said, I will say that I appreciate it being (more, at least, than the other new treks I’ve seen… which is… only Picard) episodic. I love that they’ve got some new task to handle, some new planet to explore in each ep. In that sense, it’s much more similar to TOS than I could have hoped for, general relationship arcs aside. (But wrt pacing, sometimes I think this works against them bc of how the show is written. They could do a self contained so w a lot of backstory in TOS, but bc of how this show is written, it’s more difficult to accomplish all that in a single ep. Like M’Benga’s daughter? In that specific instance I wish they’d shown him talking about her in previous episodes, and people asking if she was back on earth w his partner or… and him going quiet. Or Hemmer trying to fix the medical transporter in an earlier ep and him freaking out, but not having that immediately resolved… the same goes for discovering Una is… whatever species she is. Would have LOVED to see some xenophobia first—the crew making jokes when they come across some anomaly that it must have been caused by them, or something, and her looking uncomfortable/chastising them/whatever. Or the demonstrated persecution of them broadcast from some federation planet… if we had more context for these stories, if their roots were better established, they’d land harder. But they don’t). So sometimes that episodic formula kind of works against them, but ! like I said. whatever.

frankly, I was ambivalent abt the whole enterprise (la de da) to begin with, so wasn’t expecting much and was pleasantly surprised by it, on the whole. A friend of mine has seen Disco and didn’t think I’d enjoy it, so I haven’t seen that, and I’m not inclined toward watching animation if I can help it so haven’t seen LWD or prodigy, the second of which is literally made for babies but. Yanno. I liked SNW. I didn’t love it, I don’t agree with a lot of decisions they made, but I can see their intentions/where they’re coming from. I LOVE this spock, though think you have to see him as separate from the Spock we see in TOS (like in AOS, you kind of have to appreciate their differences as characters, and learn to love them not as the same person, but as branching extensions from a stem). I also LOVE Pike. I had a lot of hopes about him going into it because I thought the original storyline for him in TOS was done so well in that two part ep that included the original footage from “The Cage”, and I think they did an excellent job tailoring Mount’s Pike to the character laid out there, all the while fleshing him out into a fully fledged captain.

further, I’ve gotta say, I love the antics/shenanigans, and how much everyone seems to like each other. I don’t get the point of rough and tumble, cynical sci fi 24/7. (I do—it has its place, but it shouldn’t be in Star Trek). Even DS9, which as we all know tackled huge narratives abt power dynamics and prejudice and genocide… had episodes where they played baseball. And fishing mini games. Picard, which I’m comparing it to bc, again, it’s the only other trek I’ve seen that’s been produced since AOS (I think), seems similarly jam-packed with shit. Ohh the Borg and here and so are the romulans and Deanna’s son died somehow and the Android suppression as a weird metaphor for ?? Revolution? Workers rights? Idfk? And there’s time travel and fascism and section 31 and corruption at the highest levels of Starfleet which only peepaw and his dog, tintin, can root out. And there’s his mother, for some fucking reason, and-

And it’s all horrible. Everyone’s cynical and mean and/or gratingly stupid/infantile (AGNES!!!!!!). It was refreshing to see something that… wasn’t… that.

#I didn’t care abt hemmer at all though so I can’t really speak on that point #I think conceptually it would have been neat to have an aenar onboard but frankly I think ent did more w the aenar in their last terrible #season by establishing them culturally than snw did by having an individual #who had maybe like 4 lines ?? before dying? I just didn’t care #I liked his relationship w Spock and their little carrot scene but that’s the only memorable interaction he had to me #asks #trek #am surprised by the Spock/chapel thing cause I think how it was presented in TOS was excellent. #her loving him and never saying anything. he feeling respect and affinity for her but not having/being willing to express anything beyond #perfectly done. and they both have to take that in stride because they’re professionals and have bigger fish to fry yanno #so I dislike that this is coming up as something so soon in their lives #when I think it’s something chapel should have been aware of then but let it steep and simmer #because the way we see it in TOS. It’s like resignation. #knowing she’s kind of. condemned to feeling that way. #but. #I’ll say again #I think comparing it to TOS isn’t the way to go and it’s got to be something in its own right #I’m excited for the second season! again. not touched by every character but didn’t really hate anyone #looking forward to cherry picking what is canon to ME #and throwing the rest away

[empyrangel]

I hope that when people touch me casually they inwardly go “what the fuck did I do I didn’t mean to do that I wasn’t thinking!!” And they feel really awkward and embarrassed about it because they made A Mistake (tm) in a Social Situation (tm) and it keeps them awake at night for the rest of their lives

#constellation of words ✨ #neurodivergent #neurodiverse #actually neurodiverse #actually neurodivergent #neurodivergent community #autistic #autism #actually autistic #autistic community #so I’m at a family gathering rn #all these people I hardly know and don’t have any memory of are touching me and hugging me and even kissing me on the cheek and shoulder #and shit #I want to rip my clothes and skin off and take a shower this instant #want to rip their skin off too #you’ve never experienced the true apathy behind the phrase ‘’I love you’’ before you’ve gone to a family gathering #man I wish I could take familial love seriously but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to even experience it towards anyone at this rate #which is sad but my internal definition of familial love has just been warped beyond repair

[trollbreak]

Hmmmm full of Thinkin bout sweets sillies this weekend <3

#Thinkin bout how she goes ‘spiritually I’m kicking my feet rn :3’ including when he’s unplugged and technically entirely capable but he #forgets sometimes. and also due to doc kind of messed up some of that nerve communication in there sometimes he says it while kicking his #feet not realizing. and if u point it out she gets sososo excited about it she’s like then that’s just more feet kicks!!! #do u even KNOW that she will full on wheezing sob if a stranger animal is friendly upon meeting. if u say yeah my dog isn’t usually friendly #and then ur dog lets him pet them then he’s fighting tears SO hard and it’s NOT working there’s a very real chance of crying startling your #animal. sweets hs a lot of feelings and um. man… #man is sweets like kinda very touch starved? #like um. grew up with Hazardous amounts of zips and zaps in em. exploded a lil bit. and now spends most of the time actively having power #drained away to make him less dangerous. #I think sweets beyond the whole fatigue is Hesitant to go out without his chair bc she’s like. um this is kind of my safeguard I’m powering #this thing. but like u give sweets a hug. a good strong hug that he can feel well. and um. ur not getting out of that without at least a #couple tears. #man…. sweets love language touch but soso scared to indulge in contact….. agh……… #sweets solace #my darling blorbo of my heart this weekend it seems

[the-trans-dragon]

I can’t tell if I’m just bad at finding Bedsheets That Don’t Pill, or if it’s just another case of Severe Decrease In Product Quality Due To Ongoing Plague And Labor Shortages, or if I’m just autistic and doomed to experience all bedsheet textures as Level 10 Pain

#sorenhoots #😞 the expensive bedsheets I bought a while back didn’t even make it to the first wash before pilling #due to circumstances I can say that the pain of the bad texture is literally worse than shingles! #it took me like 6 months to gather the energy to go bedsheet shopping last time so I’ll probably just keep suffering for months again 😓 #I’m laying on my weighted blanket because it’s soft and stays in place but that means I don’t have my weighted blanket #I am trying a new strategy of wearing a onesie so none of my skin touches the sheet but #the occasional instances of my hands/feet briefly touching the texture is intensely horrible #I know it sounds dramatic to phrase it this way but like: it’s kinda like 😥 traumatic? if I am allowed to use that word in this instance? #the spike of panic and adrenaline I feel when I so much as *almost* touch the sheet is familiar to the panic I used to feel when avoiding #PTSD triggers or when I’d get a very distressing intrusive thought #I literally have nightmares about accidentally touching the sheets #and my entire behavior has shifted significantly to avoid the texture at any cost even at my own detriment #like when my shingles was hurting terribly but I curled up in a way that hurt it worse just to avoid the bedsheet texture #I don’t even know where to get better sheets. I tried Walmart and target but they only seem to carry their own brands now and they’re all #the same material and style and there’s no options #I thought about trying a more specialized store like a Kohl’s or idk something #but by the time I’m trying to think of where to buy new sheets I’m beyond overwhelmed and can’t even leave the house. much less #drive to a store and look for good sheets underneath fluorescent lights and loud music and the fucking Bible Belt Middle Aged Women staring #at my androgynous appearance like I’m Satan incarnate #ugh….. I need to go like. touch grass lol. watch a rolly polly meander across an acorn shell.

[pizzabookbuying]

there are so many ‘best’ AUs and the ones I label as they best definitely change according to my mood but right now the BEST kind is the kind where the AU reveals that in different circumstances the two characters end up in completely opposite roles in their dynamic because the SOULMATISM of it all—the realization that these people respond EXACTLY the same way to things—THATS EVERYTHING TO ME RIGHT NOW

#OKAY YEAH THIS IS FUELED BY ME GETTING OBSESSED WITH THE PREMISE OF MY OWN WIP blablablah self obsorbed blablablah touch grass #DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE #the prev post about enemies who make each other who they are—YEAH I MEANT IT WHEN I SAID IT IMPACTED ME #BECAUSE THAT DYNAMIC IS SO GOOD #I’m obsessed with the character everyone sees as the darker one being CANONICALLY hopeful to a fault #being SO DRIVEN by the need to do good that it perhaps morally corrupts him beyond any return #and I’m OBSESSED with his counterpart being the OPPOSITE she said ‘yes I’m cynical what about it’ AND SHES SO RIGHT FOR THAT #and I’m OBSESSED with moving their interactions to a time BEFORE his hope was corrupted. BECause the thing is she can actually be #the very thing that turns his hope into reality. She just needs to STOP BEING SO CYNICAL #AND I LOVE THAT #Aleksander: canonically is fueled by his hope to build a sanctuary for those unprotected by society and those literally hunted for their #existence (canonicaly spends hundreds of years doing this) #Alina: canonically assumes the worst (yes she’s valid I’m not saying she’s not. she’s also just very oh no looky here another FUCKING THING #TO DEAL WITH) (at SEVENTEEN YEARS OF AGE) #and yes I know these two people are actually terrible for each other (specifically uhh aleksander is terrible for Alina) but the IDEA that #in different circumstances they wouldn’t be— #LET ME HAVE IT OKAY LET ME HAVE JT #it’s just funny that aleksander is like that because of the hundreds of years he spent learning that loss is inevitable and it might as well #serve a purpose #and Alina is like that because she’s had enough shit by age seventeen that she’s just gonna fuck shit up if one more thing goes wrong #also no in this Alina does not become a despot that’s not the point the point is she becomes incredibly world weary and apathetic while #aleksander is the one who is doing his damndest to help the world

[theamazingannie]

One other thing about Marjan leaving is…I honestly don’t really care. That’s not to say that I don’t like Marjan (because I do) or that I wanted her to go (because I don’t) but I also know that her leaving the show for however long she’s going to be gone absolutely will not affect anything. I just rewatched episodes 2-5, and this is the only plotline she’s gotten. In the other episodes, she gets a couple lines at best. And, chances are, if she stayed, she wouldn’t get another main plotline until later in the season anyways because this show treats it’s beloved diverse characters like shit and only brings them to the surface for a few episodes a season. I’ve watched that goodbye scene twice now, and both times I felt anger at her having to leave, but not grief. I felt very little emotion between her and the other characters because they’ve barely interacted one on one. We see their game nights and their group dynamics, but very few of the characters ever get to interact with each other because very few of them ever get to mean anything to the plot, and I think this really showed that, even if I already knew

#911 lone star #911 lone star spoilers #sorry i know I’m complaining again but I can’t help it #It’s in my nature #i just see so much potential in this show and it’s beyond frustrating that we never get to see it play out #i just desperately want a spot in that writers room to at least raise some possibilities to consider #not saying I could make a better show because I know nothing about all this first responder stuff #but i think I could do good work on the drama front #anyone want to create a first responder show that’s actually diverse and touched upon important issues in good ways with me lol

[sashimiyas]

wishing i had the bravery to write for other fandoms

#reinas.inretrograde #i don’t know anyone #i don’t even know myself #but i want to write a miserable and dark ex-husband fic with sukuna #and single! dad fic with natsuo where i put that poor man through miseries and self pitiful scenarios #bc he has so many repressed emotions and is quite similar to his father. a rude awakening #it ends happy bc that’s what he deserves! eventually #but i literally look at them and i’m like idk who you even are #but i guess that’s how i felt about sakusa at one point. literally freaking out about my first little drabble of him but got some confidence #bc tee showed up and tee’s praise means a lot <3 #BUT I DONT KNOW THEM #shinsou too. shinsou who is so alone in the world. who’s never had a sincere touch in his life and you show him light #circling back to sukuna i want it to have gone girl vibes but that’s beyond my comfort zone #bye i’ve rambled enough! but it’s on you if you made it this far!! #it literally asked you to see all of whatever so!! #kiss kiss! have a good day? #good day!!!!!!!

[transboykirito]

Bro just block them and be done with it! That way they'll leave you alone!.

i have tried. they’re either making new accounts or there’s just that many people who loudly hate me lmao

#myanimegamingblog #asks #idc at this point i’m so beyond tired of this #that’s a lie i care way too much #if you unironically call yourself a huge fan of a tumblr blogger to the point you harass people like this. log off. touch grass

[justashadetalkative]

Details: Clemcy

Every time I ponder Clemcy and physical contact I get some uh. Strange vibes off of him.

If he is the one initiating and in control, or if it’s adversarial and he knows it’s adversarial, or if it’s practical (eg. shaking hands or getting help), or if it’s from his other bodies or Oranask or one of his thralls… that all seems to be normal?

But he is anywhere from mildly uncertain to incredibly twitchy about it otherwise, and I’m just... *squints*

#writing flails #Clemcy #queue #(details: Clemcy) #(It’s super tangled) #(I mean!) #(there's the obvious bit where he often Dislikes or is In Charge Of most of the people he interacts with slfdkgh) #(but beyond that...) #(there’s def. something about perception and control and like.) #(if he has not Tried to make someone want to touch him then they are doing so for their own reasons) #(and he does not like that he did not choose and is not in control of said reasons) #(And there’s something abt. Just. A bit of disconnect. Or. Bafflement? Or something. Just. ‘Do they realize what they’re doing’ vibes) #(also something about safety/paranoia I think? I mean the few times I've written him interacting with himself [dif bodies]) #(he gets this incredibly weird relieved vibe? As if. Finally there is a Physical Presence whose intentions he doesn't have to think about) #(which seems. Uh. Kind of fucked!) #(Clemcy in a fight he has chosen: having a fucking blast. Clemcy questioning the implications of innocuous interactions: ???) #(anyway don’t quote me on any of this I’m just poking at vague instincts in my head and going ‘wtf are you’ 😂) #(though if any of this somehow puts actual cohesive ideas into any of your heads please feel free to share sldkgh) #details

[faderifter]

i know this point has been made exhaustively but being fuck zoned hurts SO BAD. thinking you make a friend only for them to distance themselves when they realise they can’t have sex with you, for that to happen over and over, to feel like the only way you can make some kind of connection is to be sexually available…it’s crushing and extremely isolating. This is an experience I think most people perceived as female can relate to, doubly so for those who are in male dominated spaces and/or autistic

#autism #sexualisation #fadetext #i made a few friends after moving to the city after spending a while in an EXTREMELY weird and bad headspace #they were very involved in the local scene of the niche music i liked #and after meeting them i started feeling more optimistic about finding a community and about life #so when they disappeared after finding out about my relationship it was crushing #it’s still crushing and i lost my in into the scene #one was my fault for being too scared to end a misunderstanding asap #and that still hurts because we got extremely close and i felt a connection which is EXTREMELY rare for me #and i still think about them almost daily lol!! #but the other wasn’t my fault beyond if they didn’t like my personality but it still hurts #it’s hard to feel like i can have a partner OR a larger social life/friends #he doesn’t do anything to isolate me himself it’s all not being able to make friends without sex #both because of men’s dehumanizing interest in me and because i can’t open up without sleeping with someone #and they’re rarely real friends! only 2 have stuck around and one (online) doesn’t want to visit if i’m not single #so i only have about 2 irl friends and the rest are my boyfriends that i would lose if we broke up #this is all to say that i feel extremely isolated and men’s sexualisation is both further isolating and a source of temporary relief #i love tags sm thank you public but effectively invisible personal diary system #if anyone has read all this it’s sin and even if i do a bad job of keeping in touch i love you dearly #and wish you were here