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y0urm4m · 2 months

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BIKER CHRIS P.2

Warnings:swearing,suggestive content,fem reader,nickname “ma”,a bit of jealous Chris,fighting.

:y/n never really found her self getting along with Chris, but she always felt there was something deeper that drew them back to each other and that darn bike.

Quick A/N: I do apologise but I decided to change the perspective of the story to 1st person it just seemed better!

✧ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✦✧✦ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✧

╰┈➤ ❝𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚝, 𝚋𝚞𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚌𝚢𝚌𝚕𝚎, 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚎, 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚜 ❞

🏍️

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I sighed staring down at the message from Chris, what had I done I just had sex with my best friends brother, the brother that I was supposed to despise. “y/n?” Someone called out to me, shit it was Nick. Before he could walk in I straightened out my outfit, ruffled with my hair and hesitantly opened the door. “Heyy Nick, sorry I was just on the phone.”i said trying to play of the fact I was getting fucked by his brother not even 15 minutes ago. “Oh okay… You could have just came in and spoke to whoever was calling you,” Nick replied. I just nodded. “Anyways, I was thinking we could rewatch the scooby doo films!”he smiled. “Sounds fun.”I said smiling.

After putting my stuff in nicks room, getting some blankets and getting some junk food we sat down on the couch turning on the TV. But before I could get comfortable someone slid down beside me, it was Chris he just smirked at me before looking at the film that was currently playing. Nick seemed to take no notice in the short interaction that had just happened his focus on the film.

We were all sat in silence for roughly 30 minutes until I felt a hand on my thigh. It was Chris I just glared at him as he started making circles on my thigh with his thumb, for the rest of the film his thumb stayed on my thigh until Nick spoke. “I’m gonna go in my room now, y/n feel free to come in whenever cause I’ll probably just be on TikTok or something.” “Okay.”I replied smiling as he left the room, I waited until I knew Nick was in his room to turn to Chris. “Chris what the hell was that about?”I said frowning. “What was what?”he replied raising an eyebrow. “You know what I’m talking about don’t try be funny.”I hissed back at him. He just rolled his eyes standing up. “Go grab your jacket and meet me outside in five I’m taking you somewhere”he said before walking into his room.

Around 15 minutes later I walked outside to see Chris leaning against the garage his motorcycle next to him. “Where are we going?”I asked. “You’ll find out when we get there,”he replied smiling placing a helmet on my head. “Now get on.”he added looking towards his bike.

After we had both got on the bike Chris sped off down a quiet road, but as we went further down the road the sound of music getting louder and louder caught my attention. “Chris, now will you tell me where we’re going?” I asked once again. “We’re literally two minutes away, so you might as well wait.”he replied pulling up. Almost immediately the smell of tobacco and alcohol filled my nose. I looked around a small bar with loads of people and there motorcycles outside, was Chris in a biker gang? And as if he had read my mind he said. “No I’m not in a biker gang if that’s what you thinking, I just hang here with a few friends.”

We parked up and I slowly slid off the bike looking around, most of them looked like Middle Aged men apart from a group of four younger men and one girl which I’m guessing are Chris’ friends. “Just follow me you’ll be fine.” He spoke softly, placing his hand on the small of my back as we walked towards his group of friends. “Yo Chris who’s that?”One of the men spoke. Chris rolled his eyes, “this is y/n, y/n Marcus.” He said, looking down at me. I just awkwardly waved at them.

It had been around 30 minutes, and every time I tried to take in my surroundings I caught Marcus eyeing me up. I looked up at Chris in return he smiled. Obviously oblivious to his supposed friend eying me up. “Chris when are we going back? Nick also has no clue where we are.”I asked him, hoping he would realise how desperate I was to leave. “Soon I promise and Nick won’t care anyways.” He replied continuing his conversation with Marcus who in return just smirked at me.

Eventually Chris noticed the tension between me and Marcus and took me to the side and began speaking to me. “Is everything alright ma, you’ve been acting weird since we’ve been here?” “I’m fine I probably just need a cigarette break or something.”I mumbled, grabbing the box of cigarettes out my back pocket bringing one to my lips. “If you say so, I’m just going to speak to Aaron I’ll be back.” He whispered in my ear walking off.

I looked around awkwardly, Marcus looking right back at me. He began walking over. “So how come Chris hasn’t ever brought you here before, are you just one of his fuck buddies?”he spoke, turning his head to the side slightly. I didn’t answer, I was practically frozen in place. Around a bunch of bikers and possible criminals. I looked for Chris, no where to be seen. I just wanted to cry, I hated social events especially this. “Are you gonna answer me darlin?” Marcus chuckled. I just looked down. Please come back Chris. Please just walk back over here so we can leave.

It was as if god had answered my prayers, Chris caught my eye. He was coming back thank goodness. He walked over looking at me and Marcus. “You alright?” He asked Marcus. “Yeah, just speaking to your fuck buddy.”he replied kicking his foot back and forth.“What did you just call her?” Chris frowned. “Im guessing she’s your favourite fuck Buddy or something cause you never bring anyone here with you.”Marcus chuckled. I saw Chris’ fists tense as the words left Marcus’ mouth.

But just as Marcus began speaking I watched Chris punch him right in the jaw. “Chris!” I shouted. He didn’t reply, just carried on fighting with Marcus.

Everyone else around us was now paying attention. Chris’ supposed friends walking over to us. “What the fuck is going on.”one of them spoke to me, the other rushing forward to split the two of them up. “Don’t you ever speak to her like that again you fucking Jackass.” Chris spat walking back towards me. “We’re leaving.” He said sternly. I just nodded, turning to look back at Marcus. Marcus was now speaking to a few of the other bikers there, they all turned to look at us giving me dirty looks as me and Chris left.

Me and Chris didn’t speak once when we first left, but the sound of multiple motorcycles speeding up caught my attention. “Uh Chris, is that the only place where people meet up?” I asked turning to look behind me. “Uh yeah why?” He said confused.

When I turned to look behind me, I saw roughly 5 people including Marcus. They were following us. “Fuck Chris, I think Marcus followed us. And he’s not alone.” I whispered just loud enough for Chris to hear. As soon as I said that I felt Chris speed up. “Hold on, we will be home soon. I’m sorry for getting you in this shit ma.” He spoke softly. “It’s okay Chris it’s not your fault.” I sighed, looking back again. This time Marcus was closer he just smirked at me, the same smirk he’s been doing the whole night. As he sped up. “Chris, come back I just want to talk to you!” Marcus shouted. I frowned, fucking weirdo. “What’s up with your weird ass friends?”I asked. Chris payed no attention, still trying to get away from the bikers that were catching up on us now.

We had been driving for around 5 minutes now, driving down street after street. Turning corner after corner. I looked behind us. They were finally gone. “Chris there gone now.” I said loosening the grip I had around his waist. “I know, I’m taking you somewhere else.”He mumbled trying to keep his focus on the road. I looked around us, once again on a quiet road but this time it never got louder just quieter.

He slowly stopped, we were at a tiny field with a little hill. In the pitch black the only thing seen where the lights from the houses surrounding us. “What are we doing here Chris?” I asked. “Just wait.” He said, grabbing my wrist walking us up to the top of the hill. “This is where I go when I want to get away from everyone. I don’t ever see anyone here so I knew Marcus wouldn’t follow us down here.”he said smiling. “Chris this is beautiful.”I said, looking at the empty field. It was peaceful. I had never thought of Chris as a quiet place kind of person. “Well I’m glad you like it.” He said sitting down on the grass. I sat down next to him, as he took the helmet off my head and took his own one off.

“I’m sorry for tonight.” He apologised once again. “Chris y’know you don’t have to apologise again.”I said looking at him. He smiled slightly. “Chris I have two questions.” I said. He hummed in response. “Before all this, why did you always used to give me so much shit?” I asked playing with my fingers. He shrugged sighing. “I don’t know, I guess I just didn’t really know what to say to you.” “Oh, and what happened to me speaking to you in your room?” I said resting my head on his shoulder. “I guess I just wanted you to meet my friends but that didn’t end very well.”He said mumbling the end.

We sat in silence for around 5 minutes before he turned to look at me. “I know I’m really shit at these kinds of things- but y/n would you be my girlfriend?” He said smiling. My eyes widened slightly at the words that had just left his mouth. Chris sturniolo asking me to be his girlfriend was definitely not what I expected to leave his mouth.

He looked at me his smile fading as I still hadn’t replied. “So, Will you?” He asked once again. “Chris is that a silly question, of course I will!” I said smiling. He chuckled slightly before pulling me in pecking my lips.

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A/N: sorry for the short shitty ending I honestly fumbled on this hardd.. I just needed to get it out as it has been like 2 weeks or possibly longer.

Tag list: @junnniiieee07

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo smut #nick sturniolo #mathew sturniolo #chris sturniolo fluff #christopher sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo x reader #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo

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writers-worst-nightmare · 3 years

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Kittens (Keith x reader)

Song you are singing

Warning(s): A TON OF CUSSING, reckless driving, got lazy at the end, Keith loosing one of his lives

THIS IS A REAL LIFE AU WHERE THERE IS NO SPACE OR ANYTHING AND THEY ARE ON EARTH

Fandom: Voltron

Word Count: 1,510

Pairing(s): Keith x reader

Genera: chaotic fluff

A/N: this is basically a Voltron version of “no braincells“ but I added a twist to make things more interesting

Request are always open!

Keith stared at the tiny kittens surrounding him, he froze in place and looked up to you as a plea of help witch was rudely declines when you started snickering before bursting out into laughter. Soon the whole crew joined in on laughing at Keith with a bunch of kittens. Pidge was snapping pictures and uploading it to their Instagram, Lance was recording a tiktok, Shiro was trying to get the cats off of Keith, Hunk was laughing, and you where adding more cats to the pile on his lap. “Y/N DON’T ENCOURAGE THEM!” Shiro scolded. You rolled your eyes before grabbing a small black and white kitten and placing it on Keith’s lap. The crew had decided to meet up after band practice and stay at your house. Little did they all know that you fostered animals, you had a couple of dogs and Birds but you mainly fostered cats cause they look so fucking cute.

“But it fuuunnnn!” You wine, only making Hunk laugh even harder until he was literally on the ground laughing so hard.

“They are kind of cute…” Keith muttered as he stared at the cats and back at you and then back at the cats.

“Why don’t Keith and I go to get some cat stuff at the mall, you three can make yourselves at home by the way!” You called as you dragged Keith into your car and hopped in the drivers side.

“Oh no…” Keith muttered as he stared wide eyed at you starting the car.

“What?”

”Please don’t tell me—“

”Oh, yeah I am driving!”

“LET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!”

You locked the car doors and started to drive on there highway. Keith relaxed a bit as he thought that you where going to be normal

Big mistake

As soon as you saw all the muscles sink into the car seat you smirked and pulled up a radio station. Since Keith hasn’t been with you in the car before (for a good reason since everyone that has let you drive a car was gotten sick) he didn’t know that you LOVES music. Probably even more then you loved anime (which was saying something).

The fuck? Hold on Bitches got beef but don't wanna fight me Quit all that barkin', ho, bite me Bitch Hold on

”What the fuck is this?” Keith asked as he started to lean forward before the song started and you higher Ed the volume all the way up

Bitch, you fat, need a tummy tuck (Yep) You dropping diss songs, man, bitch, get your money up (For sure, then)

”It is called ‘go best friend’ and it is awesome” You answered as you rolled down your window and started singing along to the beat of the song and speeding slightly.

If you 'bout it, then run it up Used to be cool with this bitch, but she mad that I'm coming up

Keith hesitated softly before pulling up the lyrics on his phone and starting to sing along slowly. Afraid of what would happen next. You turned right and got on the off-road. Keith stiffened as he has heard one to many times what happens when you go off road and onto the dirt paths that you have most likely made yourself.

You a thot, you gon' suck it up I got a white bitch in the club, wanna pump it up (Woo, woo)

You started speeding even faster the before and Keith was prepared for the worst. Looking for a pencil and a piece of paper before settling on a anime journal that you had and a pen

Fuck a speech, I'ma sum it up $hy on the track and you already know she gonna fuck it up (Ayy, yeah) Bitch need to worry 'bout a bag I'm rocking these shows, and that's why she mad (Aha)

”I am going to give Lance my fuck you energy, Shiro my Hot Topic shirts, Pidge my suicidal thought, Hunk my fuck boy energy, and y/n my outmost hatred.” Keith started to say as he wrote out his will.

“Oh come on I am not that bad of a driver!” You pouted, looking away from the road and staring at Keith. Keith widened his eyes and grabbed the steering wheel so he could drive.

After this diss, you goin' out sad Bitch, you not bougie, you don't got no class (Bitch) Turnt in the booth and I'm piped off that gas Spin on yo' block, then we hitting the dash (Shoot, shoot)

”The last time you said that Pidge ended up in a flicking tree!” Keith argued, holding back the urge to choke you out, you rolled your eyes and elbowed the emo boy out of the way to take control of driving

It's still love for you, though But, bitch, I'm 'bout to get on your ass (Haha)

You started screaming the lyrics and Keith’s heart seemed to be going backwards as he grabbed his phone and gripped it tightly in his hands before button the record button.

$hy gotta potty mouth You wanna talk shit? Bitch, let's talk 'bout your body count You stink, throw your body out Tryna hang wit' the kid, I'm the life of the party now (Yeah)

He stopped the video and sent it to the “why do we still exist?” Group chat that consist of the gang

-character development Sasuke sent a video-

Non-binary owl: WORK IT Y/N YEAAAH

Sapnap but better: oh no…

Panda dude from beastars: have you written your will yet?

-character development Sasuke sent a picture-

Character development Sasuke: already got it written out

Won’t shut up about how bisexual this man is: I GET FUCK YOU ENERGY?!

Sapnap but better: I GET FUCK BOY ENERGY

Non-binary owl: can we all collectively agree to play/sing WAP at Keith’s funeral

Your lil' sister look up to me (Yeah) Bitch, you can't rap and you really not touching me (No) Just like a virgin, lil' bitch, cannot fuck wit' me And I never been pussy, bitch, you know what's up with me (For sure, then)

Won’t shut up about how bisexual this man is: As long as I get to do the dance

Panda dude from beastars: NO ONE IS PLAYING WAP AT ANYONES FUNERAL

Panda dude from beastars: Look Keith you are going to be fine

Why this bitch wanna pop shit? We was just cool, now this bitch wanna act like a opp bitch (The fuck?)

“What happens if I go off the edge…?” You wonder out loud, Keith looks up at you with a panicked expression.

Oh, she mad she can't stop shit Said that my breath stink 'cause I'm spittin' that hot shit (Hot, hot)

“NO Y/N DON’T GO OFF THE EDGE! THIS IS NOT FUCKING MINECRAFT!!” Keith lectured as he tried to roll down the window but silently cried to himself as he realized that you had child’s lock on.

Quit all that barkin', lil' bitch, and come bite me Bitches got beef, but they don't wanna fight me (Wait, wait)

You ignored Keith and smiled up yourself as you almost ran over some ducks

Turnt to my music, but swear they don't like me You got my number, ho, FaceTime, Skype me These hoes wanna be me I'm on your radio, soon I'ma be on your TV John Cena, bitches can't see me (Nope) I'm goin' up, and it's hella fans wanna meet me (Hey, haha)

“WHY DID YOU ALMOST RUN OVER DUCKS?!” Keith screamed as he plastered himself against the window.

Bitches don't get me Bitch, why you hatin? You could've been goin up with me (For sure, then) Spear on the bitch like she Britney You could dissed any bitch, but instead, you gon' pick me (Okay, the fuck?)

You did a wide turn and Keith practically flew in the air, he got up off the floor and cursing the seatbelt for failing to protect him against your ruthless grasp.

Make a bitch wanna hit me (Ayy, ayy) Bitches be cap on my name, the shoe did not fit me (No, it didn't) Show these bitches no pity (Yeah) These bitches wanna be friends, admit it, you miss me (Go)

Keith peered over the dashboard thanks to him now being on the floor and distantly saw the mall “YESSS WE ARE ALMOST THERE!!!!” Keith exclaimed as he got exited ready to leave this hell hole that mortals calls a car

Wrap up the beat like a doobie I don't give a fuck 'bout opinions, you know I'ma do me (Hey, hold on) Bitch, you a gnat, you a groupie Told that lil' bitch it's some snacks, and we pulled up with Scoobies

you lowered the volume to one as you pulled up in the parking lot and slowed down the car before parking somewhere close to the mall. You didn’t even look bothered to the fact of your reckless driving while Keith was looking like a whole tumbleweed fell over and hit him in the rib cage.

#voltron #keith kogane #voltron keith #voltron x reader #keith x reader #🦭 full fic

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msunitedstatesjames · 4 years

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Does anybody else just love classic literature for the sheer, insane wackiness of it? Like, I don’t even care that much about the writing quality or the fact that these novels/stories/plays changed the face of literature and culture forever. I just love these tales for the stupid drama and wacky characters.

Like Romeo and Juliet. The hero of the play, Romeo, is first introduced to us when his family talks about how he’s literally been shutting himself up alone in his dark room and crying like all the time. That’s one of the first things we learn about one of literature’s most famous romantic heroes. Incredible.

How about Mr. Rochester of Jane Eyre fame? There are all these real life people who swoon over him and I’m just over here like, I also love him, but not because he’s a romantic hero. This dude not only talks to Jane in a super creepy way, but he’s been hiding his mad wife in his attic for years. Not to mention at one point he dresses up like a fortune telling lady and tries to get Jane to admit she loves him. The audacity. And that just skims the surface of the insanity of that book. I love it.

Have you ever read some of the original Sherlock Holmes stories? There’s unending craziness there. I mean, The Hound of the Baskervilles is straight up like a twisted episode of Scooby-Doo. And we’ve all got one of those wacky neighbors that just sits on the moors and spies on people with his telescope, right? How about “The Speckled Band”, where a swamp adder is being sent through the vents to commit murder? And I don’t even have time to delve into the bizarre tale of “The Red-Headed League.”

The Scarlet Letter. The villain's name is literally Roger Chillingworth. Like, Nathaniel Hawthorne didn’t want you to have any doubt going into that book who the bad guy is. And let me tell you, Roger Chillingworth is straight up crazy. Like, whoa. Iconic.

And I don’t even know what to say about The Iliad. I’ve written before about the wacky chariot race that takes place immediately after the poem’s most tragic death, but there’s so much more. How about the time Agamemnon tries to test his men by being like, “We suck, we should just go home.” And the dudes are all like, “That’s actually a great idea though.” And they all start to pack up and flee to the boats, and Agamemnon is like, “Wait. This wasn’t supposed to happen.” And Odysseus and the bros have to go around frantically trying to stop everyone from fleeing for their lives.

Who could forget Kafka’s The Metamorphosis? A man literally turns into a gigantic bug. Or does he? Maybe it’s all just a metaphor for being a burden to your family. Or maybe this dude actually just turned into a bug. Or maybe it’s both. I hate it. But I also think it’s amazing.

I don’t know if anything is crazier than Great Expectations though. I had to read that book in 9th grade, and I hated every minute of it, but boy do I love to look back on it now and just be like, what was that book even about? There’s Miss Havisham, the jilted spinster who’s still sitting in her wedding dress, surrounded by the crumbling remains of all her wedding stuff. Symbolism. And she literally stopped all the clocks in her house at, like, the moment she was jilted or something. She’s the epitome of petty rage. And the main character, Pip, runs into an escaped convict in the graveyard as a child, and then that convict later becomes Pip’s mysterious benefactor who allows him to become a gentleman, and like, if you haven’t read it, don’t bother, but it’s unbelievable.

If you’ve ever wanted to read more classic literature, but just couldn’t get into it, here’s my advice. Do what I do. Read the classics with a sense of humor. Find the wackiest thing you can and just laugh at it through the whole book. I used to hate Romeo and Juliet. Now I love it, and laughing at Romeo’s dumb drama is my favorite thing every time.

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cinni-k · 3 years

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An analysis of the Deltarune Dark Worlds

I wanted to share my thoughts on how Dark Worlds work and more specific ideas on the themes of them. (as of Ch. 2) Which I’m putting under a cut because long post.

Each Dark World, thematically, is built around the area it’s created and what objects reside inside. Each Dark World essentially has a handful of themes that build up its whole, and Darkners which match those themes can safely enter those Dark Worlds. Think of it like blood types, or Spectral energy in Paranatural, if you’ve read that. They don’t have to match perfectly to be compatible, but not everything will be. An easy way to figure out whether a Darkner can belong is just to consider if it would look out of place there.

Now, how about the themes of each Dark World?

Castle Town is essentially a hub Dark World, and can safely house any Darkner. The given reason for this is that the dark fountain that gives it form is pure, but in terms of theming, it’s because it’s a generalized storage closet. Nothing is reasonably out of place there. It was likely rather empty though, as it lacks many unique traits, being more reminiscent of what might just be considered a “default” Dark World, bearing emblems of eyes later seen in prophecies and only having piles of dust, pools of darkness or whatever the hell those wiggly things were (door stoppers?) as interesting entities. This may also be why we receive a prophecy here. There is not enough traits of the light world to create with, leaving much of what the Dark World has to offer.

Castle Town itself is barren, scattered only with abandoned shops or homes (most likely empty shelves) and Ralsei’s castle. The royal theming most likely comes from him. It gains much of its later personality from the Darkners that inhabit it, with the in-progress chess board and the shops.

Card Kingdom is an abandoned classroom most likely meant for children, as evidenced by the overall lack of actual educational material. As the name suggests, it’s largely themed around playing cards and other tabletop/board games, such as puzzles, Chess or Checkers.

As a world, it’s essentially a fantasy one or more kids would create for a game. You can explain almost every aspect of its design with that idea. Characters are made up of face cards from playing decks and then whatever else is lying around, like legos, puzzle pieces, chess pieces, checkers, and literal actual balls of dust. Kids can and will improvise. The King has become a horrible oppressive monarch who bans puzzles and thus former puzzle makers are forced to take whatever job opportunities they can manage, the chess kingdom has been taken over, and the evil mind control crown used on K. Round? I’ve probably played something similar to this with LPS before. Many of the more classic fantasy tropes are also easily explained by the fact that kids borrow ideas from whatever they’re familiar with, so you’d wind up with something half wildly creative and half entirely plagiarized.

Cyber City is extremely straightforward in most of its theming, focusing on the idea of Cyberspace. In execution it reminds me a lot of old cyberspace themed stuff I’d see on TV as a kid, like that one Scooby Doo movie. But it also incorporates aspects of the library and the space surrounding the computers in the computer lab.

The most notable not immediately obvious bit is that Cyber City is also amusement-park themed, with the Teacup rides, roller coasters, and obviously the Ferris wheel, which is all drawn from the poster advertising the festival. Stray wires, & loose electricity are also built around the surrounding environments rather than Cyberspace itself. The Speak & Spell puzzles also align with the idea of a library itself (with spelling and reading), although they may also be in reference to those typing games that kids usually had to do at school. (Also I’m pretty sure a Speak & Spell is a type of kids toy but I don’t see one of those bitches in the librarby and therefore I don’t care) (Also I think the massive supply closet may be a reference to GIGA Queen and not just. Hiding corpses.)

That’s about all I got for now but honestly if anyone else wants to comment neat stuff I will appreciate it.

#I used to make characters out of square lego bricks and lego legs trust me I know how easy it is to improvise #Also I'm like 80% sure the Scooby Doo movie is just called Lost in Cyberspace but I don't remember and I'm too lazy to look it up.#Deltarune #Deltarune Chapter 2 #Analysis #long post #utdr

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jennycalendar · 3 years

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was going through ripper au nonsense and realized that i never posted this, oh my gosh??? largely because it is SUPER plotless and self-indulgent. but. so is the entirety of the ripper au. anyway some stuff that hasn’t (yet) officially made it into the ripper au but is mentioned in this mini fic:

spike and drusilla are like ripper and jenny’s weird couple friends. jenny gave drusilla a soul to help center her and then spike wanted one too because he felt left out. ripper and jenny were friends with them before the soul thing, though.

ripper and jenny have a TERRIFYING number of children, because they both really wanted to make their family as big as possible. the scoobies are around literally all the time tho so it’s not like they’re struggling to keep an eye on the kids. (this one is still a variable bc i’m not sure how it works characterization-wise, but it makes my brain happy and my mom and i talked about it for a really long time on the phone a year ago, so it’s probably gonna stay.)

Spike and Dru came over for tea that Wednesday. The newest little Calendar-Giles, who hadn’t officially met either of them, was utterly fascinated by Dru’s vamp face, and while Dru entertained Ripper’s brood Spike ducked into the kitchen to speak to the man himself. Ripper, who was holding the second-newest Calendar-Giles, looked a little bit worn, and happy about it; it was, Spike supposed, what happened when you had a ridiculous number of kids and a baby on the way.

“Do you and Jenny ever intend on stopping?” he asked

Ripper considered. “No.”

“You should,” said the second-littlest Calendar-Giles. “There’s no more room in the house for a baby and I don’t want to share.”

“Audrey, you’re already sharing,” Ripper pointed out.

“I don’t want to share more!” objected—Audrey, Spike reminded himself. The only one whose name he reliably remembered at this point was Alexandra, and that was mostly because she was an absolute hellion who took after all the scary parts of her parents. “This house is too small! Great-Aunts Vin and Sophie have a big house, why can’t we?”

“Great-Aunts Vin and Sophie are obscenely rich, darling,” said Ripper patiently, shifting Audrey to his hip. “We are—”

“Still pretty rich,” said Spike, “considering you’re supporting—how many kids? Twenty?”

“Seven,” said Ripper. He hesitated. “Not counting the one due in March.”

“Christ, it’s like the Sound of Music,” said Spike.

Jennifer, who was washing dishes, snort-laughed. “Feels like it,” she said. “I’d make a great Liesel.”

“Did you want something, Spike?” said Ripper, giving him a small, amused grin. It looked weird with the glasses, Spike thought.

“Yeah,” said Spike awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot. “Uh. Maybe.”

Ripper sort of rolled his eyes a little, then said, “Jennifer, could you take Audrey out to your mum?”

“I can take me out to mama,” said Audrey loudly, twisting out of Ripper’s arms and half-tumbling to the floor. She hurried out of the room, and Jennifer (who was clearly old enough to take the hint) turned off the sink before following.

“Mate, I think you’re my best friend,” said Spike, blurting it out before he could lose his nerve. “Dru pointed out this morning—we’ve known you and Jenny for what, twenty years?”

“Twenty-something,” Ripper agreed gamely, smiling slightly. “Probably a bit less than that if we discount the years without the souls.”

“Yeah,” said Spike. “Yeah, and—you’re pretty much the only one I want to punch in the throat on a regular basis.”

He would have meant it as an insult, twenty-something years ago, but it came out sounding more like something vaguely friendly. Affectionate, even, which was bizarre in how natural it felt. Ripper was his best friend, Spike realized, in the weirdest fucking possible way.

“God,” said Ripper, grinning. “Why couldn’t we be like Jenny and Dru? Those two will just talk shit about us for hours and no one gets punched in the throat.”

Spike glanced out through the doorway, towards Ripper’s living room. Surrounded by what seemed like a thousand little kids, not counting Buffy and Faith on the sofa plus Willow and Xander in the foyer, Jenny and Dru were having one of their delightedly cheerful catch-up sessions. Their friendship had always been strong even when Dru hadn’t had a soul; Dru’s newfound conscience had made Jenny almost as sweetly determined to care for and protect her as Spike himself was. Which said a lot.

Spike was quite genuinely fond of Jenny, all things considered. But he didn’t think being friends with Ripper would be quite as fun if he and Ripper just sat around talking all the time. Still— “We could talk,” he suggested.

“Nah,” said Ripper, grinning. “Much more fun to kick you in the shins when you’re being an arse.”

“Fuck off,” said Spike, grinning back.

As it happened, the baby wanted to be born a little early—late February instead of early March—and Ripper did a ridiculous Panicky Thing at the hospital where he fretted over Jenny and the kids until Jenny (very in labor) shouted at him to leave me alone and let me do this thing, asshole. Spike, who had seen this coming a mile off, led Ripper patiently out into the waiting room, where the no-longer-youngest Calendar-Giles was nestled snugly in Dru’s arms.

“Hold your kid,” said Spike, taking the baby from Dru and handing it unceremoniously to Ripper. Ripper stumbled, arms curling protectively around it, and Spike said, rolling his eyes, “Jen’s old hat at this, mate.”

“The baby’s early,” said Ripper, “and she’s not as young as she was when we had Jennifer—”

“Do not,” said Spike, “ever say that around your wife.”

Ripper huffed, indignation replacing fear. “I’m not a moron—”

“Oh,” said Spike, “is that why you’re having a complete and total meltdown over a pregnancy that’s two weeks early? It’s going to be fine.”

Dru gave Spike a reproving look, as though he was the one being an idiot right now. Standing up, she placed her hands over Ripper’s on the baby. “You know Jenny’s going to be fine,” she said very gently. “So do I, as a matter of fact. But I think she’d rather like you to be there when the baby comes—and I think you need to be a little calmer if she’s going to let you in the room again.”

Ripper looked to Spike, eyes wide and vulnerable.

It was a simple gesture, but it struck Spike: he was Ripper’s best friend. This was his moment to shine. Before the soul, he might have deliberately fucked it up, just because he thought it might be funny. Now—

“You love her a lot, yeah?” said Spike, in that gentle, careful voice he used on Dru’s off days. “It’s perfectly fine to be scared, long as you don’t scare her. Be scared all you want when the kid’s here and she’s resting. We can go out for drinks and you can cry some manly tears or something, just—not while she’s going through something like that. She needs you.”

Ripper’s face had changed, very slightly; it was clear Spike’s words had resonated with him. After a few more moments of consideration, he nodded, then left, the baby still in his arms.

“That wasn’t abysmal,” said Dru, giving Spike a small, sidelong smile. “I’ve seen you do worse.”

“Thanks ever so,” said Spike dryly, kissing her temple.

It was nearing morning, so Spike and Dru had to reluctantly slip out of the hospital before the sun rose and they were burned to a crisp. Spike got the text from Ripper about an hour after they’d reached their basement-level apartment:

thx mate. helped a lot. jenny and baby doing great.

Just as Spike was typing a reply, the second message came from Ripper:

we named him william.

Any manly tears that were shed at the receiving of that message were strictly Spike’s business.

#fic #ripper au #calendiles #(implied)#sprusilla #(also implied)#anyway i adhere to the school of thinking that spike and drusilla were the most functional relationship on btvs you can't prove me wrong

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thatoneitaliangirl · 4 years

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Interesting Dreams

I really think I have an issue with otome games- Ikemen in particular. Like, I had the weirdest dream last night, and I mostly blame otome games. It was one of those dreams that are dramatic and feel like your watching a movie, but they also are so fucking random and are jumping all over the place- at one point there was a boy dressed in a cape and I called him out for being suss and he said in a fake posh British accent, whilst swooshing his cape mind you,

“I’m sorry, you see, I have stage 4 ADHD.” And I was just so confused, I was like,

“Did you just compare your ADHD to cancer?”

The main part of my dream is why I’m here today to tell you this fanciful story.

Basically, I was some beautiful vampiric woman with a dramatic backstory. I don’t remember everything, but I was living in a mansion with some other people, and I had been turned into a vampire. What does that sound like, hmm? Unfortunately, the people I was living with were not great historical figures, or even vampires, we were just all misfits with no where to go, living together in this large creepy mansion in the middle of nowhere. And when I say creepy, I mean this place was like something out of Scooby Doo. Dark, gloomy, and it even had a freaking cemetery in the back. In my tragic back story, I was married to some noble or something. I remember that our clothes looked fancy and that we were probably rich, and it was like late 1700′s early 1800′s or so. We had a son who was maybe about 6 or 7, and in the beginning I had thought that both of them were murdered and I was left alive, and afterwards was turned to a vampire for some reason, I don’t know. The thing with being turned into a vampire though was that it came with a curse of sorts. Once turned into a vampire, no one could recognize you, or at least, wasn’t supposed to. I guess that’s a pretty good defense after turning, so you couldn’t be caught, but I don’t know. So, my husband shows up, and it’s like present time at this point, and for some reason I can recognize him, but he can’t recognize me. I’m freaking out, cause one, he’s supposed to be dead, two, I know that it’s him and I’m not supposed to, and three he believes I’m the reason our son died and he recently received news that I’m alive and has been hunting me down to kill me. Now, he has suspicions that I am in fact me, and his time at the manor is spent trying to prove that I am me and wanting to kill me. I don’t know why, but at one point I find myself in the cemetery out back being followed by my husband and the two men he’s traveling with. I’m surrounded by gravestones and its foggy as fuck, and I remember looking back and seeing them. With some quick thinking, I use magic of some sorts and change the name on a random gravestone to my name, which, btw, isn’t my real full name. It’s my real first name, Jenna, with the last name Clemence. Shocker. Though, the man that’s my husband is neither Luka, nor Jonah. I don’t remember my dream ever giving him a first name, but he didn’t look anything like Jonah or Luka. If anything he looked like a mixture of Zen from Mystic Messenger, and Prussia from Hetalia. He had long white hair that was put back in a low ponytail, and it had one of those bows in it you see in men from like the 1700′s. But, after he was turned into a vampire, his hair changed into a dark maroon color and his bangs were a bit more perfect and nice if that makes sense. So, I put my name on this gravestone, and he comes over to me and I point it out to him. I’m like,

“Oh, I know I have the same first name as your late wife, but look! This appears to be her gravesite! It would seem she has passed after all!” And he’s like super suspicious of me, but he can’t out right prove that I’m his wife, and so he chooses to drop it. Weirdly enough, this is where my dream kind of jumps, because it goes from us being in the cemetery, to me and two other guys from the manor searching the house in which my husband and son had ‘died’ to find out how my husband survived and how he was turned, but that’s where it stops. I remember bits and pieces of the house, that it was really weird and falling apart. Thinking about that house actually gives me weird vibes, I don’t know why. Like just imagining myself being there is creepy I guess. Anyway, my dream jumps from that act to another with an entirely different plot. We’re in the same mansion, but for some reason I’m now an Inhuman with electricity powers, and I’m apart of the Avengers . . . I did binge watch the new Avengers game, so that could be why-

But we’re stuck in the mansion, and for some reason can’t get out. Like it’s not explained or mentioned, I just know that we’re stuck and can’t even set foot outside the mansion. Tony Stark’s arc reactor in his chest starts to malfunction, and the only way to keep it going is to take it out and for me to ‘charge’ it with my powers by putting it in my mouth . . . But not just in my mouth, no, it has to be touching my teeth- I don’t know why, and I never claimed that my dreams make sense- but holding it in my teeth hurts like a bitch, and I remember actually feeling the vibrations in my teeth and how badly it hurt. Like, I find it insane that my dream was so vivid that I can still remember the exact pain I was feeling in my teeth. (Low key, I think this might prove my suspicion that I’m grinding my teeth in my sleep, but I digress) It was really weird. But, to remedy this, Tony creates this blue jelly like stuff to put over my teeth, kind of like a whitening strip, that puts a buffer between my teeth and the vibrations and it stops the pain. A couple of times during this act of my dream, I had to fight things- they were like entities that were in this mansion, and again, while it was never specifically mentioned, I knew in my dream that these things where what was keeping us stuck in there, and that we were trying to hide from them. Kind of like Hetaoni if your apart of the Hetalia fandom. If not, it’s a game (Based on another game) featuring the characters from the anime Hetalia that get stuck in a mansion and can’t leave due to an entity messing with time and keeping them stuck there. And while the mansion gave me weird, creepy vibes, nothing about time was ever mentioned, and the only thing I remember about fighting them was that I was drooling a lot because of the stupid blue shit I had to keep on my teeth and the constant vibrations from charging. My dream had briefly jumped from that to another act where we were still in the mansion, but this time I was a doctor. My doctor name wasn’t my real name, I can only remember that it was long and started with a D. And I literally remember nothing of that part of the dream, but I remember I was a doctor, because at one point I had actually woken up in real life to move, and I heard a voice from behind me whisper ‘Dr. ______’ whatever my name was, and I remember thinking to myself,

“Oh shit, something just said my name. That was creepy, but I’m going to choose to ignore it and go back to sleep.” And after that, I remember nothing. Do I think there was some being whispering in my ear? No, obviously not. What it probably was, was that even though I was awake and had opened my eyes for a couple of seconds, I wasn’t fully awake and was still kind of dreaming. I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but sometimes when I’m falling asleep and I’m in that space where I’m not awake, but I’m still aware of my surroundings and I’m not fully asleep, sometimes I’ll start to hear voices and noises. I’ve always just kind of explained this to myself as my dreams starting to form, but I don’t know if that’s really what it is. What I’m trying to say is that this is what I think the voice was. It was a really freaky dream, and I just find it odd that no matter how much my dream changed it’s story line, it all revolved around that one mansion-

#hetalia #aph hetalia #ikemen #ikemen revolution #ikemen vampire #mysticmessenger #the avengers #avengers #inhumans #creepy #dream #my dream #funny dream #creepy dream #weird dream #fandoms #hetaoni

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phantoms-lair · 4 years

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The Two Werewolves of Scooby Doo Part 3

Previous part

Daphne woke up to an uncomfortable stiffness. The kind you get when you’ve been sleeping in an odd position for too long. She tried to put the horrible nightmare from last night out of her mind, when the room around her seemed to shift as thought dropping out from underneath her.

“Gotcha Daph,” Shaggy steadied her with an arm around her waist. “Guess they, like, decided to land.

“Land?” Daphne took in her surroundings. They were in the cargo section of the plane, just like in her nightmare. “Shaggy, please tell me last night I got super drunk on that wolfsbane stuff and last night was just a really terrible hangover dream.”

He didn’t answer verbally, just held her a little closer. Which told her everything she needed to know. “Oh. I guess,” She swallowed a lump in her throat. “I guess Vincent was right about the werewolves.” Daphne struggled to keep her breathing under control.

“Yeah.” Shaggy felt like kicking himself for letting his guard down when Vincent said ‘werewolves’. He’d just assumed they be like him. If only he’d gotten them out of there sooner.

“And...you were a werewolf too. But you were different.” Daphne tried to focus on the strange memories from the previous night. It was like going through the memories of a different person. “You were still you. Why?”

“I don’t know.” Shaggy answered honestly. “It sounded like Vincent did. I guess we should try and find him after we land.” As if on cue the plane landed with a bump. It was a far bigger shake up without seatbelts holding them in place. The luggage was shifting around and they were lucky they didn’t get more than a few bruises.

“i think I prefer riding in the cockpit,”

“Like, yeah.”

As they rolled to a stop they heard the plane door opening and a few moments later the cargo door opened and Scooby poked his head in. “Raphne! Rou’re Rack!” In one bound Scooby had leaped to them and was smothering Daphne in affection.

“Easy Scooby, I’m fine.” Daphne reassured him.

“You weren’t last night,” Scrappy pointed out.

“Indeed.” Vincent’s rich voice came from outside. “Quite the hairy situation, wasn’t it.” “Like, you can say that again, Mr. Van Ghoul.” Shaggy stood and stretched his legs. “But what are you doing here, and where are we?”

“The first is answered by he second. This is my home. I instructed the other three to fly here. They’ve been circling the area waiting for sunrise. Now come, we have much to discuss.”

Vincent lead them into a particularly creepy looking castle that had both Shaggy and Scooby trembling.

“What can you tell us about this curse, Vincent?” Daphne asked, sitting down on one of the couches in the sitting room. “The Chest of Demons is a mystical box containing thirteen of the most malevolent spirits ever to exist. Seeking a safe place to rest it, I hid it the temple near the town you landed in. It should have been safe, but two of the townsfolk wandered in and were bewitched by the spirit’s promises. They opened the Chest and released them. The protections on this place held them for a time, which gave me time to strike back. Normally only the one who opens the Chest can retrap the demons, so to avoid this they killed the two who freed them. I managed to find a loophole, as it was two of the townsfolk who freed them, I had two of the townsfolk reseal them after I subdued them. But the damage had been done. The protections on the temple had been completely destroyed, and worse still the two who had opened the Chest came back as ghosts to lire others into freeing their masters. I needed to find a new place to hide it, but as they were resealed the evil spirits placed the curse on the townsfolk.” “Each night as the moon rose they were cursed to become werewolves, reduced to a feral state and compelled to attack all humans. As I was the one who brought the Chest of Demons, I swore I would do all I could to break the spell. By their nature every curse has a reverse. It’s just a matter of finding it.”

“Wait, every night?” shock filled Daphne’s voice. “Not just on the full moon?”

“Every night the moon shines in the sky.” Vincent elaborated. “There is a reprieve on nights of the new moon, but otherwise...”

“No...” Daphne whispered. Last night had been bad enough. The thought of doing this once a month was almost unthinkable. But they had to do this almost every night???” Wait. “Shaggy didn’t loose control of himself last night. Why was that?” If there was something she could do to keep control, that would go a long ways towards helping.

“That is because unlike you and the people of the town, Shaggy is a true werewolf.” Vincent explained. “You said that last night, but I still don’t know what you mean. How’s a true werewolf different than any other?” Flim Flam asked.

“A true werewolf is an actual werewolf, while a curse werewolf becomes one.” “Those still sound the same,” Scrappy admitted.

Vincent sighed. “Shaggy is a werewolf. Right now he’s a human shaped werewolf, sometimes he’s a more wolf shaped werewolf, but he is always a werewolf.” “Daphne, on the other hand, is right now human. Silver would not burn her like it would Shaggy, nor would she be repelled by wolfsbane.”

“But I thought wolfsbane turned people into werewolves,” Scrappy protested. “You’ve got it reversed, I’m afraid.” Vincent smiled indulgently. “One of the best ways to keep a werewolf away is with it. That’s why Shaggy reacted so strongly when the drinks were served.”

“But that would mean Shaggy would have been a werewolf before everything went down.” Daphne protested.

Shaggy let out a nervous chuckle. “So, um, you know how I’ve been locking myself in on the full moon cause I said I was hiding from werewolves? It was more like I was hiding a werewolf. Like me.”

Daphne’s head swung around, her jaw gaping a bit.

“Which brings around to where we go from here. You have two options Daphne. The ‘Proper’ way to handle this would be to wait it out until the counter curse is found. I don’t know how much longer it would take, but you’re welcome to stay here. The castle is large and I can easily keep Flim Flam places your transformed self wouldn’t go.”

“Wouldn’t I just go after you?” Daphne asked. “I can’t endanger you in your own house.”

Vincent smiled wryly. “I assure you, I would be in no more danger from you than I was in the village last night.” He fiddled with an amulet around his neck. “Think back if you can. Last night, you instinctively followed Shaggy’s lead, even with Flim Flam right there. Why?”

“Because...it just felt right.” Daphne recalled. “Almost like it would be crazy not to.”

Vincent nodded. “Supernatural creatures can sense each other in a way. True werewolves are inherently more powerful than cursed werewolves. You instinctively saw him as a better werewolf and with the added bonus of being someone you knew and trusted that more than overrode the curse’s prompting to attack.”

“My ancestor...made a foolish pact with a demon for power. And just as arcane power has traveled through his bloodline, so has the infernal taint of it’s origin. Without this talisman suppressing my magical aura, it would feel as though one was in the room with a demon. Nothing enough to even give any of the thirteen pause, but werewolves? Removing my talisman for only a second one night was enough to insure none of the townsfolk, transformed or not, bothered me ever again. So I am in no danger from either of you.” He reassured.

“Okay, you said that would be the proper thing, that means there’s another option?” Daphne prompted. “Yes, as I said, until the sun sets you’re a normal human. And like a normal human, you could be turned into a true werewolf, thus making you immune from the curse. You would only forcibly change once a month, and even then keep your mind.” “Then let’s do that then.” Sure it wasn’t great, but comparatively...

“No,” said Shaggy, quickly. Vincent nodded. “I suspected you already knew the problem with this method,”

“Which would be?” Daphne prompted.

“No going back.” Shaggy said tightly. “Like Mr. Van Ghoul said, give it time and you can curse the curse. Actually being a werewolf has no cure. I tried Daph. I know your curse is worse than mine, but, like, you have a chance I’m never gonna get. Mr. Van Ghoul and I can make sue you don’t hurt anyone so please, don’t throw this away. Please, trust us. Trust me.”

Daphne’s first instinct was to do just that, but...she did trust Shaggy. And Vincent to a lesser degree. “I’ll give it some time, but on two conditions. I’m securely locked up somewhere, and if there’s anything remotely remembering a close call, we end it there. You stop me even if you have to hurt me, and as soon as I turn back to human, you turn me into a real werewolf.”

Shaggy clearly didn’t like it anymore than she did, but he agreed,

“It might be easier to lock you out than lock you up.” Vincent supplied. “The castle is a literal fortification and there’e nothing resembling neighbors for a few hundred miles. Things might be easier for you to not even be close to temptation.”

“If you says so.” Daphne said glumly.

The sunset was beautiful, but Daphne couldn’t find it in herself to appreciate it. Shaggy had already transformed, for her peace of mind. It helped a little, seeing him as a wolf, but still him. Scooby was also joining them.

“I never apologized,” Shaggy admitted. “I, um, kind of was treating you as a dog last night and that wasn’t right, but I couldn’t think of what else to do.” “Shaggy, you could have put a leash on me and I would have thanked you. The wolf me isn’t human and you can’t act like she is. She’s not me. Whatever you have to do to control her, do it.” That hadn’t been the apology she was hoping for. She wanted to know why he hadn’t told her, told any of them, about being a werewolf.

But she couldn’t. The final rays of the sun slipped below the horizon, and her humanity fell with it. She felt the curse take hold and struggled to keep control, But it was like trying not to fall asleep while being exhausted. No matter how much she clung to wakefulness she couldn’t keep her grip.

Daphne fell and the wolf arose.

~~~~

Next Part

#The Two Werewolves of Scooby Doo #Scooby Doo #Werewolf!Shaggy #Werewolf!Daphne #Ghost Writing

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twilightprince101 · 4 years

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"SCOOB!” doesn’t feel like a Scooby Doo movie

I know I’m probably gonna make a lot of people mad by saying this, but I honestly need to vent about the story’s writing. There were some good parts I’m not gonna lie, but the writing is just... not the best. I’m placing this under a read more link, but please note that I’m not bashing you if you did like it. Everyone has their own tastes and I respect that yours are different than mine.

TL;DR, just because a movie is made for kids it doesn’t mean you have to dumb it down to be every other kids movie

So yeah. I didn’t like Scoob. I was really excited for this movie, genuinely excited. The trailers looked fun, the animation looked phenomenal and I was really excited to see Mystery Inc. brought back for another mystery. I’m a fan of Scooby Doo, not a hardcore fan but I like watching it from time to time. But coming out of it? I do not feel like I watched a Scooby Doo movie. The points that I have don’t really have a coherent flow to it so I’ll just go down the list.

-Turning Fred into the American Male Jock^(tm) character

One thing I liked about the cartoon was the dynamic of the cast. Daphne was the people person, Velma was the information specialist and Scoob and Shag were the “heart” of the gang while also giving an outsider perspective on matters.

But a key here is Fred. He may not have been the “leader” of the gang, but one thing that he had was smarts. He was the person who set up the traps, he was good at thinking with his head. Yeah he liked the van, but that was just something he liked.

But this movie turned him into the dumb jock character I’ve seen so many times before.

Something I liked about the original gang was the synergy between them. While Velma was book smarts Fred was street smarts. One got the information and the other applied it. But the movie had Velma be the smart one while Fred just drove the van. Yeah it gave Daphne and Velma more time to shine, but at what cost?

The finale scene with Ceberus really bothered me too. Instead of being tactical, figuring out a plan to force the big dog back through the door, he just runs in screaming and contributes nothing to the ending aside from a one off gag.

Look, I like having empowered female characters in media, but you don’t need to make the male characters dumb in order to do so. Even if this is a movie centered around Shaggy and Scooby, you can give every team member a time to shine. Have Fred come up with a trap! He is literally the trap guy! Even if you want the ending with Scoob and Shag bowling, he could’ve came up with a plan to at least distract it! Making male characters dumb doesn’t empower female characters, it only makes them smarter by comparison.

-The movie feels like it was made for Blue Falcon, not Scooby Doo

A lot of this movie honestly feels more like it was written around Blue Falcon and Dynomutt instead of the mystery gang. In fact, let me list the stuff that Mystery Inc. contributed to the plot, aside from cartoon shenanigans:

-Velma gave the exposition dump that Scooby was the key for the door to the underworld -Scooby and Shaggy, through their jalapeno ice cream treat, helped the Blue Falcon squad figure out that the skulls give off a heat signature. -Got Cerberus out and back into the door to the underworld

and.... yeah that’s about it. Aside from these instances and comedic relief, Mystery Incorporated-the cast the movie is supposed to be centered around-only serve as plot devices.

Sure Scoob and Shag’s friendship is one of the plot points, but it really follows Bryan’s ascension to becoming the new Blue Falcon more. The Scooby Doo gang feels like they’ve just been shoehorned in because more people remember them.

Sure there’s the argument that “Oh the movie is centered around Scooby and Shaggy though! They’re meant to be the comedic relief!” but that isn’t the point. Yes Scooby and Shaggy like to eat a lot, yes they’re not the brightest, yes they’re really scared of everything, but they can still be those things AND contribute to the plot!

Like the fight with Captain Caveman for example! Blue Falcon literally says “You better call more friends” and then he calls in an army of cavemen. I’m sure a lot of people expected that horde to come into play, right? Nope! Just Captain Caveman solo-ing the entire group and giving Blue Falcon more reason to doubt himself living up to his father.

If you wanted to give Scooby and Shaggy their moment to shine outside of the ending, have them be part of the fight against that army! Have Scooby and Shaggy make up to fight back to back with their cartoon hijinks! That way you can make them feel like an actual part of the movie instead of just there to say “Ruh Roh!” and collect their paycheck.

Mystery Incorporated as a whole feel sidelined compared to Blue Falcon and his character arc. If you wanted to make a Blue Falcon and Dynomutt movie, make a Blue Falcon and Dynomutt movie.

-Even if the movie is meant to have Mystery Inc. as the focus...

Then what is with the ending????? Opening the gates of hell and fighting Cerberus?????? I know Scooby Doo hasn’t been shy to use the unnatural and paranormal at times, but the cartoon is all about old rich dudes using monsters as a cover up! That’s the main appeal of Scooby Doo. The audience knows that there will be a person under a monster mask, but the draw comes from how the gang solves the mystery surrounding it.

The beginning of the movie set everything up for this type of story well! The gang as kids bust a criminal who was pretending to be a ghost as a cover up to steal things. That is what the audience came for, it felt like a taste of what’s to come! But instead the plot takes a complete 180 and turns into a superhero cartoon show.

But let’s say the movie was originally written to be a Scooby Doo movie, not a Blue Falcon movie. Let’s say that Blue Falcon and Dick Dastardly were meant to be a part of a Scooby Doo story. That’s still fine! Again, there have been wacky crossovers with Scooby Doo in the past! But the finale with everyone fighting Cerberus throws that out the window.

If you wanted to have this written like a Scooby Doo movie, or even just a long Scooby Doo episode, have there be a twist with the legend surrounding the underworld. Instead of everything being magic, have it be a millennium-long con that’s been done by a rich dude’s ancestors throughout the years or something. Like, “the legend was used to hide the family’s stolen treasure throughout the years and Cerberus was actually a giant mechanical robot!” That would have been a fun twist! The people came for Scooby Doo, give them Scooby Doo stories.

-One final personal gripe with the writing

For the love of god, please. PLEASE! Stop copy pasting the exact same Act 3 best friend split up and reunion. I have seen it so many times it’s not even fun anymore.

I’m not saying that the Act 3 split up trope is bad, really I’m not! But I have seen so many movies that have “oh I’m becoming more popular, I don’t need friends anymore” that I could literally predict how the rest of the movie would end and was right.

The trope can be good sometimes! You want a good example? Take a look at The Lego Movie 2-The Second Part. (Spoilers for the movie btw)

Around the third act of the movie, Rex and Emmet reunite with Wyldstyle/Lucy and try to form a plan to stop the wedding. For a majority of the story though, Emmet has been slowly influenced my Rex that the enemy is 100% bad and he can only rely on himself, nobody else. So when Rex suggests that Wyldstyle has been brainwashed, the movie could have taken the easy route and have Emmet take his side.

But Emmet knows that he and Wyldstyle are close friends, have been together through two apocalypses and survived so he vouches for and trusts her. It’s only when the plan goes wrong-because of Wyldstyle losing connection with the team and her trying to stop the plan-that Emmet is given a reason to believe that she is brainwashed, leading to the two splitting up.

You wanna know the best part?? This isn’t even a “You aren’t my BFF anymore!!” situation! Emmet thinks that Lucy is brainwashed, there is reasoning behind his decision to not believe her and it is believable! It’s been built up over the course of the story instead of just happening then and there! The third act split here is understandable!!

And I swear to god. Do not say that lazy writing is ok since it’s meant for kids. Just because something is meant for kids, it doesn’t mean that it needs to have the same plot as everything else.

The Lego Movie is meant for kids. It is a movie about a kid’s toy and literally takes place inside the imagination of little kids. But the story is still really good! Sure it’s not the best movie of the decade, but it’s still really good! Kids deserve better written stories like this!! If you say that lazy writing is okay if the content is for kids, you’re saying that kids do not have the ability to understand and appreciate more than just a fart joke.

So yeah, that’s my thoughts on the SCOOB! movie. Long story short, people came for Scooby Doo, give them Scooby Doo. If you wanted a Blue Falcon movie, or even a movie about cartoons in general, then do that. Just don’t treat kids like they’re dumb when writing stuff.

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andrewmoocow · 4 years

Text

Steven Universe: The Fantastic Mutants chapter 3: Enter the Brotherhood (originally posted on July 11, 2020)

AN: Sorry this took so long to come out readers. Coronavirus, online school and all that jazz just had me occupied for a good while. Hopefully you've been keeping yourselves entertained in the midst of this quarantine; I've gotten into Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Scooby-Doo Mystery Incorporated, Cardcaptor Sakura, Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic among others. Anyways, let's get back, at long last, to the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning of Gifted Youngsters (or just Xavier Institute or XIHLGY since that name might be a bit too long for some) and see how the Crystal Gems and their new allies can get out of this one!

A few hours prior to their invasion of Professor Xavier's school, the Brotherhood of Mutants sat around a table examining the exploits of the Crystal Gems to get a good idea of what they'll be getting into. "Don't ya think we're in over our heads?" Juggernaut asked his fellow mutants while watching video footage of Lapis stealing the ocean. "I mean, one of them can literally use 75% of the planet to kill us all!"

"The blue one may have the strongest power, but she is also rather emotionally fragile." Black Tom remarked. "In fact, all of them are pretty unstable once you think about it. Insecure, dependent, obsessed, haughty, cowardly, hotheaded..."

"Quit with the psychology stuff Tommy!" Pyro exclaimed out of boredom. "What I wanna know is how could they brainwash three world-destroying monarchs so easily? Could the same happen to us too?!"

"Well, the boss maybe." Sabretooth answered. "Speaking of which, where is he?"

However when Creed wasn't looking, the master of magnetism was standing behind him with Mystique at his side. "Lemme guess, he's standing right behind me."

"How could you guess? Do you have psychic abilities like Xavier?" Mystique snarked as she sat down next to the clawed mutant. "I've been discussing plans with Erik for the past few minutes, plans on how to infiltrate these Gems. He chose the water-controller as the one I should masquerade as since it would require that I retain my usual skin color."

"He's got a good point, but why are we hunting these down in particular?" Avalanche wondered. "Is it because of how celebrated they became for allying with the Avengers?"

"Not quite everyone." Magneto revealed. "Our current ally Doctor Doom wants the child's gemstone for the purpose of creating his own army of half-Gem warriors. And taking care of them will be so fulfilling for me after Rose had left me all those years ago."

In the present day, the Brotherhood had begun their assault on the Crystal Gems, with their archenemies the X-Men caught in the crossfire and the Fantastic Four as well. The mansion was left damaged in their arrival and the Brotherhood now has the heroes surrounded.

"Now my friends, are we going to make peace by handing the child to me or must we resort to drastic measures?" Magneto purred threateningly, holding out his hand and expecting someone to shake it.

"Like we'll ever let you have Steven!" Garnet stated. "Just a few weeks ago, he was nearly captured in a situation similar to this one, and we refuse to let it happen again."

"So when I want to do what's right, you try to fight back." Erik pointed out. "Yet when those three Diamonds plotted to destroy Earth, you let them off scot-free simply because they were mourning a bratty child that was no better than them? The hypocrisy is quite strong here!"

"Can we just cut the blabbing about our morality and fight already?!" Amethyst complained while wriggling free from Black Tom's vines and pouncing on Toad, tying his tongue around his eyes to blind him. "Why are you always targeting me?!"

With that, the battle properly began. The Crystal Gems charged at the Brotherhood of Mutants with the X-Men and Fantastic Four by their side, tearing up the mansion even more.

During the chaos, Morph snuck around the battlefield in the guise of Garnet and tackled Sabretooth from behind, sitting on top of both his arms. "You little shit, get offa me!" Victor exclaimed in agony while Morph then took the form of Groucho Marx. "I'd have you cry uncle, but you don't really have one as far as I know." He quipped while pretending to hold a big cigar.

Meanwhile Steven & Connie had formed into Stevonnie to gain a better advantage over Magneto, but he used psionic shields against their sword. "Gem fusion! I remember that quite well!" the master of magnetism recalled. "Garnet and Amethyst fused much like you to tear Auschwitz apart."

"Auschwitz?! You mean the Nazi concentration camp?" Stevonnie asked. "You must've been one of the Jews locked up there, right?"

"Indeed, me and my parents as well." Erik answered. "But alas, I wasn't one of the lucky ones."

It was October 7, 1944, towards the end of World War II when Erik's mutant powers awakened. When his mother was heartlessly shot dead by the scientist Klaus Schmidt, Erik promptly went berserk with a loud cry of "NEIN!" followed by manipulating every metallic object in the room, even crushing a pair of army helmets and the heads of the Nazis wearing them.

Klaus was excited at Erik's potential, but his joy turned to fear when a loud crash was heard before a massive purple flail burst through the roof of his office. "Mein gott." The mutant ally of the Third Reich muttered in awe of Sugilite. "Hey small fry!" the brutish fusion grinned while grabbing Schmidt by the collar with two large fingers. "Why don't you try picking on someone your own warped fascist government?!"

"Please let me go!" Klaus begged for mercy. With a toothy smirk, Sugilite gave her word and dropped the man back through the hole made in his roof, landing Klaus on his desk and making him too injured to get up. "Puny Nazi." Sugilite sneered before separating into Garnet and Amethyst.

"Bitte, hilf mir." The boy who would become Magneto croaked while crawling out from underneath the rubble, mildly injured but thankfully not comatose. "Bunte damen, hilf!"

Unfortunately, his voice was too hoarse for anyone around to hear. Not even the Nazis carrying away the bodies of his mother and Klaus were able to pay attention to the young mutant. "Is anyone else in here?" the voice of Rose Quartz called out as she stepped into the ruined office. However, she was able to find a certain young man pinned under pieces of ceiling. "Are you okay young man?"

Still hoarse, Erik was unable to give his name to the Gem. "Hallo, mein namen ist Rosenquartz." Rose introduced herself in some sloppy German. "Kannst du mich verstehen?"

"Rose!" the commanding tone of Captain America distracted her for a bit. "You have to come with me, they're bringing reinforcements from HYDRA!" he urged the Crystal Gem leader. With a small gasp, Rose turned back to Erik with some comforting words. "Don't worry little one." She assured him in English. "I'll be back for you soon."

But unfortunately for Erik, she never did.

"So you're hunting us down partially because Rose forgot about you?" Stevonnie asked. "Honestly, I'm not really surprised."

"I remember what happened that day!" Pearl exclaimed. "Rose couldn't come back for you because she was poofed during the battle and we had to retreat. I am truly sorry we were unable to make do on her promise."

"Sorry just won't cut it!" Magneto boomed, pinning Pearl to a wall with a steel beam using his powers."And no matter how much she tried to make amends when we met again, I still never forgot."

Nearly twenty years later in 1963, the Crystal Gems were touring the city on a sunny day when they found a large group of people gathered before a stage, where a man made a speech. "What are those guys doing?" Amethyst asked her fellow Crystal Gems. "I'm not sure, but I believe we should get a better look." Garnet answered.

As the Crystal Gems blended into the rather blasé crowd, the man continued speaking. "Despite the fact that you lauded such beings as the late Captain America, you also hypocritically look down upon mutants for possessing similar abilities."

"Uh actually sir," a young news reporter with a fake toothbrush mustache spoke up. "There is a clear difference. Captain America was given his powers by science to help win the war. Mutants on the other hand were born with their powers that could go out of control if pushed too far."

"Did anyone ask for your opinion boy?" the man boomed as he glared at the reporter. "Please don't take it out on me sir, I'm just a young reporter!" the newsboy nervously squeaked and then high-tailed it out of there. "But thanks for the story menace!"

"Hmph, children." The speaker rolled his eyes before returning to his speech, or he would've had he not found a familiar face joining his audience. "Wait, I remember you!" he shouted. Using his magnetic abilities, he pushed the spectators away by forming a path straight to Rose using the steel fence that once separated them. "Rose Quartz. How have you been coping with the captain's demise?"

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" Rose asked the mutant. "Of course you'd forget about me." He replied. "I am known as Magneto, the master of magnetism! But I'm sure you'd at least remember me calling myself Erik."

"Oh my goodness, Erik?!" Rose exclaimed. "I am so sorry I didn't come back to you like I promised! There was HYDRA coming for us at Auschwitz, I just didn't have time and-"

"I believe that's enough!" Magneto roared before he proceeded to use the fences against Rose. "You have forgotten me at the camp, and now I shall make sure everyone forgets you!" He tossed the fences at the Gem, but Garnet & Pearl quickly deflected them. "Stay away from her!" Pearl called. "Amethyst, get everyone out of here while we take this one on!"

Amethyst gave a comical salute before she rounded up all the human spectators with her whip and dragged them to safety. "I see how it is." Magneto boomed. "You are just like all of them."

"No, you don't understand Magneto!" Garnet stated. "We've actually met and fought alongside a few mutants before! There was this Canadian one during the war, and we even met En Sabah Nur as well! The Crystal Gems value all life on Earth, whether they be ordinary humans or otherwise!"

"You can try to rope yourself into my good graces all you want Gems!" Erik growled. "Because nothing can ever change the past!"

"That fateful battle was how we first met Xavier. He had an older team of X-Men that saved us from him." Amethyst recalled. "Speaking of which, where could they be now?"

"Wrong time, wrong place!" Sunspot exclaimed while he fired a blast of solar energy at Juggernaut, who was unfazed. "Could this get any worse today?!"

"As a matter of fact, it can." Mystique replied sharply, snapping her fingers to summon a pair of massive blue and purple robots that towered over pretty much everyone. "Pink gem detected, pink gem detected!" the machines noted in unison. "Bring boy to Doom immediately!"

"Sentinels?!" Jean exclaimed. "And it seems this time, they've been modified to hunt him down!" Emma replied as the Sentinels held out their hands to trap Steven in a forcefield. "Guys, a little help?" he called out from inside his prison. "I can't seem to get out!"

"STEVEN!" the Crystal Gems screamed while the Sentinels slowly took off into the sky with the boy in tow. "Don't worry Steven, I'll save you!" Kitty exclaimed. "Storm, give me a boost!"

"You got it!" Storm replied, grabbing the younger mutant by the waist and lifting her up high with her flight abilities. When she was let go, Kitty leaped at the Sentinels and used her phasing powers to pass through the forcefield to rescue Steven. "Don't worry little guy, I got you!"

"Thanks Kitty, but I think we might be too late." Steven thanked sorrowfully, making his new friend look up to discover that the Sentinels were headed for a large airship above them. "Aw crud." Kitty smacked her face in irritation. "Guess I walked into that one."

"Now they got Kitty too!" Scott shouted. "Yeah, I think we got the picture!" Lapis said. "Can't any of you fly up and save them?!" Morph suggested. "You seem to love ignoring obvious solutions!"

Lapis rocketed into the air as she was joined by Angel, Storm, Firestar and Human Torch with intents to rescue Steven & Kitty, but unfortunately they were quickly shot down by the Sentinels, still slowly making their way inside the Brotherhood's vessel and leaving the other heroes behind.

"Let this be a lesson to all of you Crystal Gems." Magneto declared. "You may think just saying sorry will instantly make everything better, but time will never make people forget." He surrounded his Brotherhood in his forcefield and lifted them all up to his ship. When the villains got inside, the ship sped away from the destroyed mansion.

"I can't believe we lost him, just like that." Pearl muttered while on the verge of tears. However, Reed was there to put a comforting rubber hand on her shoulder. "Don't fret, I think I might know where they're heading." Mister Fantastic declared. "They're working with one of our greatest enemies known as Doctor Doom, which means their next destination will be his kingdom of Latveria."

"Latveria? I've read about that place." Connie replied. "Very good that you know about this place Fraulein Connie." Colossus complimented her. "But still, the combined forces of Doom and Magneto might need more than just our three teams here."

"I think our first step would be calling the Avengers." Peridot suggested. "But they agreed to let us solve our own problems unless it was absolutely necessary we needed their help." Garnet responded. "Maybe at least a few of their reserve members would be useful, but not the whole team."

"I do know someone who can help us, but I don't think a few of us are going to like it." Colossus announced, much to Wolverine's irritation. "You don't mean?" Logan growled. "Da, exactly." Piotr replied with a nod and then he turned to Connie. "Connie, the X-Men now have a very special job for you."

"Whatever it is Mr. Colossus, the Crystal Temps will do what we can!" Connie said exuberantly as Peridot, Lapis, Bismuth and Nephrite assembled behind her with goofy grins on their faces.

"I admire your optimism malen'kiy. And please, call me Piotr." Colossus continued. "I cannot believe I am saying this, but we need you to find for us," he ordered her. "Deadpool!"

Wolverine giving a loud aggravated moan followed this up.

Well, this sure took a while, hasn't it?

Bitch, a while doesn't even cut it!

Wait, Deadpool?! How did you get here?

I came here to yell at you for prolonging my long-awaited proper debut for months now! Well I've had it up to here with your lazy-as-shit behavior! Next chapter, you better let me help you out or I'm taking that "ANDY ONLY" folder on your laptop for myself!

You monster, I worked hard to build up that collection! Okay fine, you can help in parts. Deal?

Deal! And what are you still doing here? Get the hell outta here until next chapter, The Deadpool and Peridot Show! Damn, that chapter title really rolls off the tongue.

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inspector-montoya-fox · 4 years

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#10 - Jailbreak

Setting: let’s enter the SpOOkY!!! girl, i’m sorry i have to take a moment to appreciate the KI that this episode is. from the statues that come to life to the purple water, the red sky, the bat props that Sly can ninja-spire onto, the music. it’s like a Scooby-Doo episode. Contessa’s house looks like a freakin insane asylum hahahahaha this is all fantastic. i’ve been to Prague and the towers are literally the same. i know i should be analyzing this in the Themes section but in terms of environment, Prague (both levels) are the crux of Sly 2, if not narrative-wise, then definitely emotionally-wise. @designraccoon made this amazing post a while back which went into detail about how the Prague levels represent the darkest nights in the entire series and then in Canada it’s day. i mean, the whole game is great but these central four episodes (from A Starry Eyed Encounter until A Tangled Web) are, in my opinion, what make it so amazing. there’s definitely climax because the stakes are so high. 2/3 of the gang and Carmelita have been captured, Neyla has double-crossed us, Bentley (who was up until this point the weakest link physically) is all alone, and as we find out by the very beginning of the episode, the Contessa is a secret Klaww Gang member. well, this is all dandy. having Bentley alone further establishes how haunting this episode is because we first witness the hub as him, which has never happened before. he’s an itty-bitty-witty turtle roaming around the ultimate spooky level. and the Contessa, she didn’t come to play hunty. i’ll go into more detail about her character below, but she feels more of a threat than Rajan or Dimitri. not because she herself is scary, but because she’s built an empire. Dimitri had bouncers and Rajan had his staff, but Contessa has an entire army and (at this point) Interpol backing her up. in terms of environment, the hub feels huge because of the giant prison in the centre. it truly is a pain in the ass to enter the prison, but that just highlights the fact that, well, it’s a prison. in general, SP really captured the essence of a European town: the stone pavement, the bridges and the sections under them, some historical arcs blocked by cage bars, etc. all this being said however, if we factor in the narrative, Jailbreak’s Prague feels very dead. maybe it’s done on purpose, but due to the gang’s absence and the prison’s overbearing presence, this (similarly to A Starry Eyed Encounter) feels like a prelude. we’re defo onto something big, but we first have to break out Sly and Murray. and lord knows what comes next is big...

Characters: i want to expand the Setting section here but also leave the big gang moments for the Theme section, so this is really about the Contessa. this episode is soaked in melodrama. the themes are heavy, the morale is low, the narrative is complex to say the least. The Predator Awake’s ending was such a shock that we genuinely forget about Carmelita’s whereabouts, as she’s not even mentioned here. we meet the Contessa and, even though she’s already been introduced, this is the first time we really get to know her. the hub really encapsulates her character: a total psychiatrist witch whose gothic surroundings reflect her malicious intentions. a true villain, the definition of the word. she’s a member of the Klaww Gang but also has an ulterior motive and even gives the gang a run for their money with her hypnosis. the bitch also has a blimp she uses for swift getaways, i mean what more can you want. and this is not even her ultimate form as A Tangled Web will see her deliver some very important lines of dialogue and truly show off how evil she is. but for now, she lurks in the shadows. similar to Rajan in the previous level, she spends most of the episode absent (you’ll notice there’s no Clockwerk part in this episode too). this is probably done to give the player some breathing space after the Neyla twist and allow the gang to gather their strength. but her presence is felt, due to how she embodies her hub, the personification of the obscure and the SPOOKY ! for me, the Contessa is as big a villain as Clockwerk, Neyla and Dr M. she’s just selfish and that’s her downfall, as we’ll see in the next episode where she’s presented in a very Nietzschian fashion. it’s like they merged Miz Ruby and Clockwerk: they honed the spooky aspect by added intelligence. Miz Ruby was too short sighted and lacked ambition. the Contessa created herself after she murdered her husband, made herself rich through her psychiatry scam, earned a strong rep via Interpol, and touched the divine by getting her hands on the Clockwerk eyes. the self-confidence is unreal.

Themes: uh, fear theme !!!!!!!!! (like the full shebang, not the half-baked version from The Predator Awakes) our characters are put to the test, forced to face their fears. Bentley had to learn how to drive the van, drive all the way from India to Prague, and explore this nightmare of a level all on his own. Sly was captured by the police and Murray was rendered weak, his will and control taken from him with the use of spice. the theme fits the level like a glove and everyone gets to confront their fear. Bentley succeeds in saving his friends, Sly (although not shown directly but instead mentioned via the Contessa) breaks free from the “hole” under which he’d go mad, and Murray goes head to head with the Contessa at the end of the level. as i analysed in the Setting section, the fear theme is further established by the spooky environment and missions (werewolf statues and evil robots that come to life), as well as the prison’s interior. i mean, consider the gang’s biggest fear is getting arrested but enhance it by a hundred by making the prison seem as hellish as possible. its sombre green and blue tones are reminiscent of Arkham. it truly feels like an insane asylum, with its towering cells, booby traps and devices used for hypnosis. the fear theme is dominant here, but there’s also the theme of separation. up to this point in the game, the gang’s unity has been taken for granted. soon after Bentley and Murray learn the basics, the gang is split. this not only increases the difficulty of the challenges they have to face on their own, but also puts things into perspective. mainly, things only work out when they’re together. you’ll notice that after Jailbreak (and by extent A Tangled Web), there’s an increase in group missions. He Who Tames the Iron Horse, is full of them. their time apart has all three of them realise that teamwork is essential, and that their friendship is the basis for their success. and lastly, a mind theme. i feel like there’s a connection between the hub and the Contessa’s character: her trained mind is so hard to breach, similar to the prison with its high walls. she’s a brittle spider but shouldn’t be underestimated. mind over matter, basically. her head’s interior is full of high security and intricate designs, spotlights and guards. everything feels so claustrophobic in there. both her expertise in psychology and the prison are devices used to break through with her prisoners. and once Sly and Bentley manage to penetrate the walls and get through to Murray, she’s caught off guard because of her seemingly flawless fortress.

What I Like: lots of stuff here. i was always a fun of the spooky-ooky so this is perfect. Bentley is my least favorite gang member but i really enjoyed his narration and how he came through even though the odds were stacked against him. the Contessa is my fav villain from the game, maybe even the series, so there’s that too. in terms of details, i really like Sly disguising himself as a werewolf statue on the bridge, even going so far as to imitate their open mouths. and the prison’s interior is great too. OH! AND that little bell you can hit to distract guards in the hub. i love that little bell.

What I Don’t Like: i’d have to say, the missions are kind of a drag, especially after The Predator Awakes which had some pretty good ones. apart from following the Contessa around and playing as Murray in the prison, the rest are tiring in my opinion (i’m not referring to the operation). specifically, Code Capture and Lightning Action feel like filler, maybe because they’re all made available at the same time, when Sly breaks out. i was never fond of the hacking and this is the episode it’s introduced in so... yea...

Quote: Inconceivable! She's no health care professional!

#inCONCEIVABLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#SHE'S NOT HEALTH CARE PROFESSIONAL !!!!!!!!!!#Bentley sweetie... she's not.#sly cooper #episode project #this essay embodies chaotic energy #and i love that for her

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a-casual-egg · 4 years

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Incorrect Quotes the 3rd

Corazon: “That’s it! You’re all grounded! Dob, no music for you. Merilwen, no nature stuff for you. Egbert, no bombs for you.”

Corazon: “And Prudence… oh my god. Is there anything that you love?”

Prudence: “Revenge”

Corazon: “No vengeance for you.”

Prudence: “I was going to say ‘I’ll get you for this,’ but I guess that’s off the table.”

---------

Corazon:[To Dob and Egbert] “Alright, Shaggy and Scooby, you take the sinks, I’ll check the cabinets, and, Velma, you get the spooky looking fridge.”

Merilwen: “What!? Why do I get this… dubious looking device !?”

Corazon: “Because only Velma would say ‘dubious device.’ Velma gets the spooky fridge.”

Prudence: “Who does that make you, Corazon? Fred?”

Corazon: “Bitch, I’m Daphne.”

--------

Dob to Prudence: “Start with a compliment. Tell her she looks thin.”

Prudence to Merilwen: “You seem malnourished”

--------

Dob: “Why is your back all scratched up?”

Egbert: [Flashback to them chasing a raccoon after Dob told them to leave it alone]

Egbert: “I’m having an affair.”

--------

Dob: “God, I hate being alive. I want to die in a national park under mysterious circumstances.”

- half an hour later-

Dob: “Okay I’m done being dramatic. I finally started my homework and it’s not that bad.”

--------

Egbert having an existential crisis: “Do you know… what it’s like to be afraid of yourself!?”

Corazon, thinking about that time he ate 7 entire family sized bags of Doritos in one evening: “Dude, I sure do.”

---------

Dob: “What If ‘It’s Raining Men’ and ‘Let The Bodies Hit The Floor’ are about the same event from different perspectives?”

Merilwen: “I’m literally begging you to stop.”

Prudence: “No wait, let him finish.”

---------

Merilwen: “So an octopus can change its colour to mimic its surrounding. When octopi do this it’s called-”

Dob: “An Octo-lie.”

Merilwen: “…. Metachrosis”

Dob:

Merilwen:

Egbert: “Mocktopus.”

---------

Corazon: “Pru get up we’re stealing the News Van.”

Prudence: “The perfect crime … how would they ever report it?”

-------

Dob: “can you come help me pick up this box? It’s really heavy.”

Egbert: *picks up the box effortlessly* “nothing is heavier than the weight of my depression.”

Dob: “I’m impressed but also very concerned.”

----------

Merilwen: “I wish you’d just admit when you’ve made a mistake”

Prudence, calmly stirring her coffee: “I prefer it with salt.”

----------

Corazon: “Just be casual. Try some light flirting.”

Dob: “I can do that.”

[later]

Dob: [to Egbert] “Nice work! High five!”

Egbert: *high fives Dob*

Dob: *interwines fingers*

Dob: “I’m in love with you.”

----------

Corazon: “Maybe don’t encourage Egbert to do that, Merilwen.”

Merilwen: “How dare you tell me how to parent my kid I just met!”

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Merilwen: “Wait, is Prudence actually into me? Quick, I’ll make a bad joke and see if she laughs.”

Merilwen: “Hey Pru, did you hear that one about the skeleton who couldn’t go to the party? He had no BODY to go with!”

Prudence : *laughs*

Merilwen: “Well that’s not a fair test - that joke’s hilarious!”

------

Dob: “You may be single and childless, but you’re totally a dorky dad.”

Corazon: “I don’t think I like your tone, young man.”

#Oxventure #Corazon #Prudence #Merilwen #Dob #Egbert

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writings-from-the-hart · 4 years

Text

Writebr Intro

Writeblr Intro Time!

Hiya! This is so overdue and I apologize for that lol. I’ve been meaning to write this but school seems to always be getting in the way of just that. Writing. But here I am finally writing this! And yes my username is a pun of my own last name but I just couldn’t resist.

So basically, I really want to surround myself with other writers and have stumbled across tons of writeblr’s (I think that’s what they’re called lol). Instantly I was in love and wanted more of what the community had to offer. I’ve been a self-proclaimed “author” or writer since my early years of grade school. I was that child in the back of the class with ADHD that couldn’t sit still (the cliche bouncing leg and always chewed down nails) and had what my mother called an “overactive imagination”. My notebooks in high school were often filled with wild stories about “galaxies far far away” or dystopias with cruel governments ruled by dictators. Now I’m in my second year of college swamped with classes about the Psychology of criminals (or I like to call the science of murder), and trying to find time to write a novel. So the struggle is real my dudes.

A little about Me:

Hana

She/Her

Pisces

Asexual

Forensic Psychology Major and English with a concentration in Writing Minor

Book hoarder

Dog Mom

Vintage AF

Low Key Emo Punk because I’m no average white girl!

History nerd (Love learning about the old wars and cultures)

Movie nerd (There’s an endless stack of DVDs in my house)

Fandoms:

The Mandolorian (or the ManDADolorian)

Star Trek

Star Wars

Hannibal

X-Files

King Falls Am

Welcome to Nightvale

Transformers (Obviously not the bad movies lol. Bumblebee is baby and must be protected always.)

Good Omens

Sherlock

Lord of the Rings

Marvel (There are so many shows and movies in this category we would be here all day if I tried to list them.)

Timeless (Not sure if the fandom is still alive after what the writers did to one of our ships lol)

DC (I’m a huge Batman geek and adore Wonderwoman, but I take the good with the bad when it comes to this fandom. Especially movie-wise anymore.)

And there’s probably more but my memory isn’t working currently.

Goals?. . . maybe:

Get my novel finished (This has literally been on my To-Do List for who knows how long.)

Meet more writers/new writers.

Improve my poetry (I suck at poetry so I bad I never let it see the light of day, so I need to work on it.)

Start my bullet journal.

Wips:

Okay by now you all know I have at least 1 Wip because I mentioned getting a freaking novel done, but just as a precaution as to what I mean by Wip or Wips. I get distracted quite easily, for some odd reason my brain absolutely loves to jump from one idea to another for no absolute reason. Like WTF dude we already have an idea we’re working on why do you keep bringing all these new ones to me like stray dogs. And like any good dog Mom or distracted writer, I want to keep all the ideas/stray dogs. So, when I say Wip I mean “Look at this cool idea I came up with” and I’ll make sure to specify which one is hogging most of my time.

Renegade: Dystopian, Thriller, Post-Apocalypse, and Science Fiction.

This is my baby. Most of my free time is dedicated to adjusting plotlines, character arc’s, fixing freaking plot holes, and other important stuff other than just plain writing. I’m hoping to finish this also monster of a story by 2020 and get it published. So big stuff!

“So tell me little wolf do you want to punish those who have wronged you?” An assassin known as the Crimson Ghost makes their way through the corrupt city-state of Ashton completing a job given to them by the Black Rose. What is a seemingly normal job though turns into something far more complicated when they stumble upon the fractions of an abandoned notebook from the past. A past the Republic is trying to desperately hide and bury no matter what. On the other side of the world in the Republic’s capital Eshar, plainly referred to as “The Prodigy” or “machine” by his superiors, Eric Coalwood has built a life upon the ashes of his family, striving to meet the high expectations set before him by his mentor General Wolfheart. However, his life falls out of its normal day to day routine when the unexpected is asked of him. Command a task force made up of the Republic’s most wanted or his life is over. Eric doesn’t need reasons for why he must do what he has to, all he needs are orders and the Republic is more than happy to give them. Either way the clock is ticking for both the Crimson Ghost and the Republic’s prodigy and with time running out they both have two options. Either get over their different beliefs concerning the Republic or allow the world to once again succumb to war but this time nobody is going to survive it. “Legends are slippery things. For the glory that coats them hides the pain, suffering and death that created them.”

The Trouville Files: Dystopian, Thriller, Post-Apocalypse, and Science Fiction.

Not my biggest priority but definitely one of them considering the plot of this story. I mainly use this wip as a reference for Renegade because it’s actually the prequel to it. Also, it’s great to use as writing practice when I’m plagued with writer’s block for Renegade or frustrated with a plot hole. So this is my double-edged sword that does a lot of good.

“Death in these black days is neither kind nor quick.” The year is 2153, the world we know is nothing more than a wasteland strewn with the dead and a sky being choked by their ashes, not glorious and thriving but desolate and starving. The Red Death, a pandemic with a steady progression and a gruesome countdown to the demise of those infected. No one outruns it or survives it. “United we stand, divided we fall.” The Allied Nations, a totalitarian superpower, promised a united people but all they gave this world was more death and destruction. The Red Death isn’t the only thing slowly killing humanity anymore, we are in the form of the War of Broken Pacts. The spark of revolution is lit, but if it will remain so is a question asked by everyone. Does it stand a chance against the iron-fisted government holding the people in shackles? “Rebel with a cause.” Genius Medical Officer for The People’s Republic, Cyprus Ramiro works day and night in search of a cure for the Red Death exterminating hundreds, at least before this war kills him first. But he is also a man on the run and the rebellion can only shelter him for so long. “Duty over pain.” Cunning Spy and Soldier, Orion Ultor is ordered by the Allied Nations to infiltrate and gather information on the ever-growing People’s Republic. In bold letters is Search and Destroy; make a ruin of the rebellion and ensure the Allied Nations remains as it should -- unquestionably in power. No matter the cost unless he wants to suffer the consequences again. “If we fall we shall rise from the ashes like a phoenix.” They should have never met, battlefields don't make good friends. It wasn't fate, it wasn't destiny, only war throwing people together. The Allied Nations is trying to stamp out something they fear, but can they before the Red Plague? Or will humanity find itself extinct.

Beyond his point is where I house my stray dogs/ideas

Hiraeth: Paranormal, Horror, Mystery, and Thriller.

Scooby-doo who?

Hiraeth means a homesickness for a home which you cannot return. That is how Arcane feels like she’ll never be home no matter how hard she tries to connect with her family. The closest she feels to being home is with her friends and in the worn leather seats of the van they all pitched in to buy. It all started out as a way to pass time and for all of them to escape their families because to be honest parents never understand, but it all turned sideways when a simple “ghost hunting trip” stirred something that was meant to remain buried. The truth never remains buried though, not really, somehow it will always creep back in ugly and twisted. Arcane has never felt “at home” but she’ll do whatever it takes to keep what she considers her family safe.

Sweet Dreams: Historical Fiction, Thriller, and Romance.

A literal dream turned into story plot and no I’m not kidding.

The Red String of Fate, The Lovers, and War. These are the three elements intertwined within the plot of Sweet Dreams but before anyone makes any assumptions this isn’t some chummy rom-com. There will be tears and heart strings may get yanked clean out because the angst is real. War and love never mix well, it leaves a sour taste in ones mouth and makes the mind question things it shouldn’t. Like is the woman in his dreams the same woman he sees in all his dreams? Constantly he somehow ends up spotting that same ruby red lipstick, honey golden eyes, and brunette hair laying in perfect curls. She’s everywhere except in his actual life. They say you and your soulmate share dreams, living proof of how intertwined souls are. She doesn’t believe in love or the idea of souls, not with the monsters roaming around the countryside and battlefield carrying assault rifles. Society tells her where her place is, but she disagrees and rather create her own destiny.

The Prophet: Paranormal, Thriller, Post-Apocalypse, and Science Fiction.

A short story I can’t seem to let go or it doesn’t want to let me go, but either way, this story has the makings for something great. It also at times seems strikingly similar to Good Omens, so don’t be surprised.

There’s no anti-christ in this story, he already has a book about himself so let’s not make another one besides there are other stories that need to be told. Such as, have you ever heard of modern day prophets and I’m not talking about those people with cardboard signs saying “the end is near!” or giant churches with people preaching about the end times. No, I’m talking about a kid with messy hair and dark circles under their eyes because sleep is no longer a choice due to migraines that plague them every night. Migraines that bring weird cryptic messages that make one question their own sanity. And what happens when strange people start asking about said migraines and messages?

Virago: Fantasy, Thriller, Historical Fiction, and Romance.

I’m not a huge fantasy reader, for some reason I can’t stay invested in them, but here I am with a fantasy story in my wips. It has mages, knights, assasination plots, and one super badass general who takes zero shit from her king. That’s right women empowerment, my dudes! I don’t really have much of a synopsis inline or a plot because this is only of those wips I let rattle around in my brain from time to time. But I will say it does give me that LOTR vibe but also Game of Thrones.

Don’t be surprised if you see my stray doggos from time to time because I will admit I love to play around with storyboards. Even if I don’t have a fully planned out plot put together for it.

And that concludes this what was supposed to be short Writeblr Intro. I hope I have peaked some of your guys’ interests because the community definitely got a hold of minee. Feel free to send me a message about anything I mentioned (even if it’s just fandom shit I don’t care) and don’t be shy. I’m a huge introvert but somehow love talking, so don’t worry it won’t be awkward and odds are I’m equally nervous about conversation lol. Also, feel free to add me to any taglist and reblog/like if you’re active and would like more Writeblr mutuals!

Happy Writing,

Writings-from-the-Hart

#writeblr #wips #writer intro #my ocs

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skywalkersapprentice · 4 years

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mdzs novel review

Now that we’re in quarantine and I have an infinite amount of time on my hands, why not read a novel that’s 500k, right?

(Spoilers ahead.)

I totally fucked up my sleeping schedule by staying up for three nights in a row and sleeping four hours in the afternoon while reading it. worth it, though. Despite a few flaws that tripped me up close to the end, Mo Dao Zu Shi (The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation) was a gorgeous story. Kudos to the translators for giving it to us in English.

I’ll start off by saying that this story is not for the faint of heart. The main character has very grey morals. There is self-cannibalism, gore, period-typical homophobia, corpses come to life, mentions of rape, incest, sexual content, straight up dubcon and disturbing themes all the way through. If I’d seen this tagged as such on Ao3, I definitely would have left it alone. Despite all this, there’s also some truly wonderful characters, a plot unlike anything I’ve ever read before, subtle pining, fantastic worldbuilding, magical music, found families, and!! canonly lgbt characters that get to experience all of this things in the one hundred goddamn chapters it takes for them to get together.

The Good:

Wei Wuxian. One of the most interesting characters I’ve ever encountered. How can one be so good, so happy, so giving, yet so incredibly fucking annoying? He’s so clever, but also a moron. He’s selfless, but only in regards to things and people he cares about. He has an absolutely terrible memory (god me too) and knows how to get under everyone’s skin and has killed literal thousands of people and also. He is my son. If I knew him in real life I think he wouldn’t have survived long enough to become the Yiling Patriarch but in fiction he is wonderful.

The plot: Look. This novel is longer than the first four Harry Potter books combined. You can almost think of it as two books- one set in the past, one set sixteen years later. But although it’s the longest book I’ve ever read, it never really felt boring. It was definitely confusing at times (I’ve never had to take notes on a novel before to keep everything straight in my head) but I wasn’t bored. Things just keep happening- Wei Wuxian is back from the dead!! Now there’s a creepy hand!! Now there’s a statue that can move!! Now we’re in the past!! Now we’re back in the present and there’s a castle that eats people!! Now we’re in a ghost city and there’s some freaky stuff going down!! Time for the saddest flashback of all time, and now we’re starting to put the puzzle of this dismembered person together!! All of this is interspersed with worldbuilding and character dynamics and creating a full picture of the past and- whew. It was so hard to tear myself away to sleep or eat because I just wanted to know- what’s going to happen next?

The love story: Hello, slowest of burns in the entire fucking world. I live for the enemies-to-friends-to-enemies-to-friends-to-what-are-we-to-lovers love story that this book gave me. Lan Wangji, you poor emotionally repressed disaster gay. Wei Wuxian, you blind oblivious moronic disaster bi. Somehow, they’re perfect for each other. I was really, really hesitant to read this book because I know it has roots in that specific straight-girl-writes-gay-men type of culture that is often terrible and fetishistic. There were definitely things that I disagreed with that that I’ll talk about later, but largely, stereotypes were avoided and I have to give the author credit for this relationship that managed to be so many things. I relate heavily to the type of person Lan Wangji is, and I adored watching him fall for Wei Wuxian, through Wei Wuxian’s eyes, without either of them really even realizing it. They’re the definition of what I like to call a “Red and Blue couple”- the opposites, the fire and ice, the calm and the wild, the dark and the light, the red and the blue, who complement one another so well despite being so different. They balanced each other out wonderfully. Don’t talk to me about the WangXian song or the fact that they have a child or I will start crying.

Lan Wangji: Though I love Wei Wuxian, annoying traits and all, Lan Wangji is who I heavily resonated with. He kind of reminds me of Else from Frozen?? Anyone else?? Like, his whole thing is basically “conceal don’t feel”, except what he’s concealing is the fact that he feels things so deeply. He just wants to help people, to be essentially perfect at what he does (scooby doo villian voice: and he would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for wei wuxian) His character development from the past to present was lovely. I silently cheered for him whenever he broke the rules, or let the strict facade down for a bit.

The side characters: Literally how are there so many characters in this book who are so fleshed out that they feel like real people? Xiao XingChen, Lan SiZhui, Wen Ning, Jin Ling, Jiang Cheng and Jiang LanYi all especially stood out to me, but even beyond them, everyone had a fully explained reason and motivation for like, everything they did. Even if I hated the villains, they weren’t needlessly evil. We love a grey story.

But there were some things I didn’t like.

The Bad

The R rated stuff: Well. This is probably the weirdest critique I’ve ever had to make about a book, and maybe some of it was partly due to translation, but... the sex was out of character. I thought the general dynamic made no sense for the two of them as people and it just.... wasn’t super well written? Thankfully I was warned beforehand that the Incense Burner chapters contained content I wasn’t prepared to read, but yikes, I felt like I was reading about two different characters the second clothes started coming off. I haven’t finished the bonus chapters for this reason. The second I read the word “rape”, I had to stop. Consent is a pretty hard line for me, and I can’t do a dubcon kink. Obviously the author can do whatever the hell she wants with her characters, but I felt like she threw away their personalities for the sake of trying to write something hot (which- it wasn’t.) This is why straight people have no rights and also why I will be pretending those scenes don’t exist.

The Hatred Chapters: I do feel like all of the tension and action was sort of- let down at what was supposed to be the climactic showdown in the temple. It dragged on for so many chapters that I didn’t feel on the edge of my seat waiting to see what would happen next.That could also be due to translation. I’m not sure. Maybe I need to read the Hatred chapters again. But I did feel sort of let down in the final 20 chapters of this novel. It wasn’t enough to seriously impact how much I love the general concept, but it was disappointing.

Semi related but after 100 chapter build up, that confession could have been better. Again- maybe a translation thing.

The Nie MingJue backstory flashback: just- honestly wasn’t interesting to me. It was the only part of the novel that I really had to slog through.

Lastly - this isn’t the novel’s fault, and I am certainly grateful to the translators for all of their work translating this gigantic novel, but there were some consistent grammatical issues surrounding the dialogue tags that bugged me. I’m not sure how it is in Chinese, but in English, writing “Wei WuXian, “Nothing.”” just- isn’t correct. At the very least, you need a verb like “said”. I usually read fast enough that my brain tends to insert the word even if it’s not there, but when reading slowly, this did frequently jar me out of the story. I’d be willing to edit the entire novel just to fix these errors. But it says a lot about how good this novel is that I continued reading despite errors like this because something like that in a fic would have me closing the tab immediately.

Alright, that’s all.

Overall:

There are so many small things, little moments and lines that I loved about this story, it would take me days to list them all. The dialogue patterns from character to character were distinct. Things like the forehead ribbon were endlessly entertaining. Side plots like the A-Qing one had me in tears and I was laughing a few chapters late from drunk LWJ. The novel was just fun to read. There were errors, yes, there were disappointments, sure. But it made me feel so much. I’ve been through the entire range of human emotion while reading it, and it’s so rare to find a book that just yanks you into the universe like this one did to me. I really needed an escape this week, and this was absolutely a welcome one. If I go read it again, I’m sure I’ll find a hundred more things I like about it. Heed the warnings I’ve given, if you read it, but I absolutely adored most of this book and I’ll be thinking about it for a long time.

9/10.

#mdzs #mdzs novel #Right okay time to finish the donghua

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breadknight-likes-things · 5 years

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Goosebumps(TV) Retrospective #5: Phantom Of The Auditorium

Remember in the last entry of these posts, when I talked about how Summer Camps can provide an ideal place for the kind of horror stylings Goosebumps loved? As weird as it is to say for a franchise focused at kids, I think the idea of the spooky things happening at School makes for much weaker than intended effects. Frankly I’d argue that to kids, the mundane stuff that happens in school is far more terrifying than the ideas of ghosts or other monsters also being present in said setting. And as we see in Phantom of The Auditorium, the minute things get overtly supernatural is the same time they stop being all that scary. That’s not to say Phantom of The Auditorium doesn’t have some great scares in it, far from that in fact. As you likely have guessed by this point from it’s title, Phantom of the Auditorium is a pretty basic retelling of the classic Phantom of the Opera story. Kids are involved in the production of a play (oddly, a play that while never outright confirmed, kind of just seems like it is Phantom of the Opera?), mysterious accidents and events start happening surrounding the production, and an even more mysterious pair strangers come into the mix part way through. These two strangers almost perfectly represent what does and doesn’t work in this episode, so let’s look at them individually shall we?

The picture of grimy, unclean, under the stage of a school auditorium living.

Mysterious Stranger #1 “Emil”: “Emil” shows up just about a quarter of the way into the episode, claiming to be the schools “Night Janitor”, a job position that no public school has ever been able to afford filling, when he’s found by the main cast of kids under the stage. He’s quickly revealed to be just about the opposite of that, putting to rest that aforementioned question of where the school has money in the budget for this man. In reality Emil is simply a homeless man living under the school, randomly roaming the halls at night, living in a strange hovel underneath the theater during the day and just in general being a nocturnal creep. Emil is the part of this episodes scares that works because lets face it, all of that is really unsettling. That there’d be some random homeless, clearly mentally unwell man hiding in the school you attend and stalking it’s halls at night for no real reason is scary enough, but eventually Emil starts to target the kids on purpose! Granted, his actual motivations aren’t to actually hurt the kids (Though he genuinely comes close to maiming them at least once), merely to Scooby-Doo style scare them away from finding his underground shanty and reporting him, but this is a very real kind of scary that Goosebumps always tends to use effectively when it decides to dip its toes into, and in this instance works incredibly well.

The picture of good, clean, not at all suspicious at all don’t look into it, Canadian living.

Mysterious Stranger #2 “Brian”: “Brian” on the other hand, is the part of this episode that falls flat on it’s spooky face. Allegedly, Brian is a newly arrived transfer student from “up north” (Which is a great reminder that all these shows are Canadian as hell) that gets involved in the production of the play and never gives off any real indication that he’s anything other than another extra the show cast to fill space. I feel that may have been intended given his ultimate twist, but in not building any sort of personality or rapport with the rest of the cast, his ultimate role ends up feeling hollow and the big reveal he has comes across as more or less pointless. Surprise: Brian is a ghost, the ghost of a child that died in an accident performing the same play the kids are producing and he reveals himself to be this in a grand, theatrical fashion during the opening night show. Making bold and hammy proclamations of his grisly fate and, in one shot, literally flashing the fires of hell out of his eyes for some reason. The problem with this whole twist involving Brian and his ghostly self is twofold. One, as I said before, Brian doesn’t do almost anything in the episode prior to the big reveal other than introduce himself to the cast, so it comes off as hollow in the sense that Brian only existed before in the episode in service of this not too great twist.

The other, more complex reason why ghost Brian being a big intended whammy doesn’t really work, is with Emil, earlier in this same episode we were already given the scariest possible outcome for this situation in a way. What I mean by that is kids by the age they’d be watching Goosebumps ultimately know that Ghosts (and or demons from hell I guess with that one shot?) don’t actually exist, but a weird homeless guy living in a shanty in your schools already dark and unsettling basement? That one is far more grounded in a twisted, bizarre kind of reality. That’s something that kid me would have irrationally been afraid of in a big way, but Emil is quite literally hand waved away before the big finale in order to shift focus onto the ghostly preteen the writers clearly wanted to be the big scare. Effectively, Brian wastes the well done spooks by attempting to smoothly segue into differently done scares that just plain don’t work, all for the sake of having a big twist.

I guess I get what they wanted to impart with the whole “fire eyes” shot, but it still doesn’t really connect to anything and makes the Brian twist come off as even more sudden and desperate than it already does.

The obsessive need to have a big twist is both one of Goosebumps biggest strengths and most bizarre weaknesses. As I’m sure will come up numerous times during this series of posts, they can either provide a fun cap to an episode, or just throw every hard earned scare into the dumpster for a cheap final shot. Hell, sometimes they can easily do both of those things at the same time. Phantom of the Auditorium is unfortunately an example of the twist deflating the effectiveness of the episode proper, but all in all it’s still a solid episode of Goosebumps as a TV show and one well worth watching for an avid fan or a newcomer, just, you know, pay attention to that weird Brian kid alright? He kinda skeeves me out, maybe we should tell the night janitor about him?

Then they do a really jarring and sudden final shot where the lead just finds a yearbook on the stage that confirms Brian is a ghost? Where did this yearbook come from and how did she know what page to look at? That’s a mystery for another day.

#goosebumps #goosebumps tv show #R.L Stine #rl stine #goosebumps books #kids horror #horror #goosebumps retrospective #Phantom of the Opera #phantom of the auditorium #tv shows #90s shows #90's shows #90's tv #90's nostalgia #90s nostalgia #90s kids #90's kids

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gayfraphne · 5 years

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scooby-doo and the curse of the 13th ghost review

WARNING: contains spoilers, as well as my unsolicited opinion. read at you own risk folks.

i’ll start off by saying, i really liked curse of the 13th ghost. it certainly wasn’t groundbreaking, but i had a great time watching it and i’m happy it exists. that being said, there were a few things that made me scratch my head a little bit.

the movie starts with a sepia filtered flashback of vincent van ghoul and his lover mortifer (not really but,,,,, we know how to read between the lines WB) capturing ghosts in the chest of demons. the scene ends with mortifer having his fucking soul devoured by ghosts and dying right there in front of my seven year old eyes. i literally screamed.

the title sequence absolutely sent me. it was really good on its own, but i love how it actually explains the whole plot of 13 ghosts, because i never actually saw it.

next we get a classic mall chase scene. there’s a hilarious moment when they’re chasing the suspect up an escalator, and fred tells the gang that they can’t run because it’s too dangerous, so they all have to stand on this escalator while tacky elevator music plays before continuing the chase. fred’s being an asshole to daphne in this scene to emphasise how attached he is to his leadership position, and daphne (like the bad bitch she is) ignores him and catches the guy they’re chasing herself, to emphasise that she’s much smarter than fred. not that much smarter, however, because it turns out they caught the wrong guy. they interact with the sheriff, who tells them that they’re too sloppy, and that once they turn eighteen (which is coming up quickly) they might end up serving jail time for harassment charges. with their best interests in mind, he tells them they have to quit solving mysteries. the scene worked, but it wasn’t very realistic. legally speaking, you can’t arrest someone for driving in their van (as this guy threatened to do).

next we see the three minute long scene that was released as a promotional clip on youtube of the garage sale at what i assume was daphne’s house, despite being tiny. a man named bernie alan tries to buy some stuff off them, but his check bounces (a reoccurring joke throughout the rest of the movie). vincent calls, tells them he needs help- blah blah blah.

daphne introduces the gang to her own van- which nearly sends fred over the fucking moon. especially when he can’t drive it because it’s a stick shift and, as we all know, FRED JONES CAN’T DRIVE STICK. honestly, that boy is adorable.

so daphne drives as fred sleeps on her shoulder like the angel he is- but things go awry when a car surrounded by green smoke tries to run them off the road. we find out why this is later, but it doesn’t.... really make much sense.

they get to vincent’s house, daphne and fred bicker some more, and shaggy decides to head off with scooby in search of snack-shaped clues. daphne asks velma to keep an eye on “lewis and bark” leaving her alone with fred. her crystal ball starts glowing, and they follow it throughout the mansion. velma, shaggy, and scooby have some classic mishaps, while fred and daphne do some classic fraphne things, such as forgetting that two people can walk next to eachother, and entrapment, and undermining each other’s intelligence. they all meet back up when velma and the boys fall through the ceiling and land on top of them. (shaggy jokes, “mind if we drop in?”) they find vincent, as well as the demon asmodeus, and this is where things start to kick off. vincent tells shaggy and daphne to trap asmodeus in the chest of demons, but shaggy says that he mailed it to vincent’s place in the himalayas when school started. vincent explains that it wasn’t his home, but rather an air b&b he’d rented at the time, and that he never got it- so they have to fly to the himalayas to track down the chest in the mail.

you know how movies and tv shows that can’t afford the rights to certain brands will use cute little puns- to tell the audience what they’re talking about without saying the real trademark? it’s done multiple times in the movie, but in a way that’s very self aware. vincent refers to his air b&b as an “air boo & boo,” his iphone as a “die phone,” and countless others that i forget. but everyone around him is like “oh my fucking god can you talk normally please-” telling the audience that they were staying at an actual air b&b without having to use the name- but still being normal about it. it was a nice touch. as was “captain rogers, not for vanity reasons, but because when you have the lives of so many people in your hands, it’s better to think of yourself as the office and not the man- and also a little bit for vanity.” that’s right, folks, shaggy flies the plain. and it’s golden.

when they land in the himalayas, the first thing they notice is bernie alan, the check bouncing fiend. they decide to split up- shaggy, scooby, daphne and vincent follow him to the temple, while fred and velma go searching for the lost package. the next bit of the movie cuts between the two storylines, but i’ll just tell them separatley.

fred and velma show up at a deserted post office, and naturally go rummaging through the back to find shaggy’s lost package. instead, flim flam catches fred in a net. i don’t think we ever learn why he was in the post office. flim flam takes them to the novelty store he works at and shows them his various chest of demons memorabilia (mostly coolers, which he’s only ever sold one of) but when fred says they’re looking for the real thing, he brings them to his ghost-hunting store instead. fred finds a cool scooter and asks to drive it- to which flim flam replies “sure! you can drive stick shift, right?” luckily he’s only kidding and fred get’s to destroy the scooter in the background while velma and flim flam argue over the existence of ghosts. fred and velma leave, and fred admits to velma that he feels useless now that daphne’s stolen his job as the leader. he even laments that he “can’t even do background shenanigans right!!!!!” before the scene has the oppurtunity to become cute and uplifting, the two of them get snatched into the air by an unknown force.

daphne’s crew are following bernie alan, but he manages to lose them. before they know it, they’re being stalked by the same car that tried to run them off the road earlier. the car’s loud engine starts an avalanche, resulting in the world’s longest “oh no!! we’re falling down a mountain!!” bit- which is then followed by a second identical bit as the car causes another avalanche immediately after the first. they wind up trapped in the temple with asmodeus and the chest of demons. there’s a cute little musical chase scene to a super catchy disco song, and a slightly uncomfortable bit where shaggy and scooby dress as monks. asmodeus tries to kill them, but vincent uses his magic to beam daphne, shaggy and scooby out.

daphne is about to break down sobbing because she thinks vincent is dead- when suddenly velma and fred fall from the sky. fred, being the little fucking legend he is, says “mind if we drop in?” they’re all down in the dumps for various reasons, and daphne says that it’s time to go home, and that there’s nothing more they can do. seeing his gang about top give up, fred reveals his darkest secret: while daphne and shaggy were catching the ghosts, he wasn’t just at any camp- he was at CHEER CAMP. THE ONLY KIND OF LEADER FRED IS IS A CHEERLEADER. it’s funny at first- hysterical in fact- but he does a cheer that lasts just long enough for everyone (characters and audience alike) to start feeling sad for him. but freddy jones is flippin away, doing back tucks over daphne’s head and throwing her in the air, and his enthusiasm encourages daphne to make a plan to catch asmodeus.

fred and velma head back to flim flam’s shop to ask for his help (but mostly his gear) and fred realises that the reason he can’t drive stick is because he’s been trying to use the parking break instead of the clutch. now he’s hell on wheels, and manages to run the random car that’s been following them off the road and into the abyss below.

meanwhile, daphne, shaggy and scooby skydive down into the temple from above (”i can’t jump out of a plane!” “that’s okay, i’m going to push you!”) and find vincent. they link up with fred, velma and flim flam, and the latter jokes that all they need now is scrappy, to which velma asks “what’s a scrappy???” and there’s nothing better than the idea of a timeline in which daphne and shaggy just kept scrappy’s existence a secret all these years.

vincent reveals that asmodeus is actually his dead relative, which is cool, but everything goes downhill when they realise that asmodeus is a fake, and that he’s actually mortifer, vincent’s supposed dead lover, wearing a suit. then bernie alan the check bouncer is actually an interpol officer slash figure skater, and the swat team shows up.... they really lost me there. it was a disappointing resolution to say the least.

the final scene was probably my favorite. the gang are loading up the plane, and fred and daphne stare off into the sunset, and fred tells daphne that he’s been wrong about her all along, and that she’s such a capable leader, and that she’s the engine that makes the gang run. daphne replies “i might be the engine, but you’ll always be the driver” which is equally as adorable as it is true. they give eachother MAJOR HEART EYES, but fred- physically unable to let a heartfelt moment last more than three seconds- pulls away and asks if captain rogers will let him try flying the plain. daphne says sure, but only if he promises to stay away from the parking break. fred shakes his fist at god and curses velma’s name.

velma explains to everyone that ghosts aren’t real and that the 13 ghosts were all a hallucination, which..... fuck everyone involved in that decision. we realise that the chest shaggy mailed was actually the one cooler sold by flim flam (a nice touch). to prove her point, velma almost opens the actual chest of demons for funsies but thinks better of it, and then the gang hits the skies, where they’re all flabbergasted to find that scooby doo is the one flying the plane. the end.

it’s a good movie, no doubt- and was almost a perfect one. everything seemed to crash and burn as the demon turned out to be fake, and then everything else was fake, and then bernie alan was a figure skater in a fat suit... for some reason. had they gone with literally any other ending, it would have been great.

the fraphne subpot felt a little underwhelming... maybe it’s just that i’m a hardcore shipper, but i felt like the resolution to their plot wasn’t big enough. they spent the whole movie building tension- i was sort of picturing that they’d have a big fight. but... nope. he just did a few backflips and everything was peachy.

again, i loved the movie. i don’t know if i’d put it in the top five, but definitely in the top ten. it had a lot of fun aspects and great character building. i’m really excited for return to zombie island, but also kind of scared. first of all, how do you make a sequel to something that happens when they’re 30 when they’re only 17?? also... pls don’t make the cat creatures fake. also... *slides writers a 20*.... fraphne kiss. just sayin.

#scooby doo #curse of the 13th ghost #fred jones #shaggy rogers #daphne blake #velma dinkley #fraphne #vincent van ghoul #flim flam #not an incorrect quote

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