#I’m at such a loss lol

[tawnyisacolor]

i’m in such a bad place mentally and physically and i’m just like at a loss of what do to because it seems no matter how hard i work on making things better i just end up in the same place and it’s so exhausting having a body that is constantly working against me when all i’m trying to do is exist preferably comfortably instead of in constant pain and trapped in a brain prison

#think I’m just going to have to give up working on my mental health for a while if it’s just going to make me physically ill #it’s just extremely counterproductive if it’s only causing me to be incredibly depressed from being so sick lol #I’m at such a loss lol #I don’t know what to do #just chronic illness things

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn…. #if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

[bluegreysilkie]

A comic on why Runaan doesn’t visit

#happy au #runaan will go to jail #sarai II mentioning that her family is messed up as she feeds live adoraburr to her pet #sarai II #fancomic #runaan #illustration #fanart #the dragon prince #rayllum family #watercolour #I’m doing traditional a lot recently #loss of innocence #lol #moonfam #runaan: I mean I did kill the king so fair enough I guess

[akkivee]

nabbing from twitter lol

who in hypmic:

caught ur attention first: ichiro

first fav: ichiro and jakurai

current fav: kuukou💜💜💜

first least fav: samatoki-sama lol

least fav now: ?????

fav division: bat 💜💜💜

fav ship: ichikuu, riodice, mtrOT3

fav song: kaigen and osaka billion dreams for fav stage song even tho no one asked LOL

fav media: drama tracks and manga

fav official art: i have a lot lmao but these came to mind

#this is vee speaking #uwah saying samatoki used to be my least fav suddenly triggered an intense need to talk about hypmic 2019 lmao #it’s crazy how much i can still remember about my early years here and still getting used to the characters lol #like yeah samatoki was my least fav in the beginning but mtc was the division that made me realise hypmic wanted to tell a story lol #i started liking samatoki after that first post drb championship track where samatoki invited his team over #and juto was fully expecting to get yelled at ​(to rio’s confusion lol) #(it was so fun getting into samajuto with the lens that samatoki is a shit to juto but not to rio despite being sweet on both lol) #but samatoki calmly let them in served coffee that changed juto’s world and apologised for their loss like 😭😭😭 #and then mtc with the first real character lore drop by telling us what’s up with juto #i was already obsessed with rio lol it really does surprise me i didn’t completely lock in to mtc fav division after that track lol #(i was too far up jakurai’s ass at the time lbr lmao) #i miss looking at content pre-bat sometimes like the 4th live used to be my fav before 7th live usurped is title and i miss it #but i’m also allergic to any content that doesn’t have bat so i can’t bring myself to rewatch it lol

[arolesbianism]

Some very lazy concept doodles for my swap au Wendy

#keese draws #don’t starve together #dst #dst Wendy #wendy carter #I need to make a tag for this au but I’m lazy #anyways sorry if the scribbles are incomprehensive idk what I was on abt either tbh #well ok most of it is just mechanics I’ve talked abt before but yknow #oh and the bottom right doodle is abt how wickerbottom’s wereghost form performs the haunt action on hauntable objects with higher chances #of whatever effects meaning that given enough trees technically you could use her for living log farming #and due to wendy’s fuel mechanic living logs are quite valuable since they’re one of the few things that effect sanity when burned #they also slow sanity drain significantly when burned which is nice for the guy who doesn’t have a lot of sanity options #wurts are also a good living log soruce but I didn’t want to design her rn so rip wurt #she’s a lil baby tree guard sorta #well she basically just Is a tree guard but with a irredecent gem in her head #webber created her because he was lonely rip #he also was the one who accidentally got wendy killed and then made wendy robot body #wendy predictably has a lot of angsting to do abt that especially since it came with significant memory loss #and abby doesn’t die in this au so she’s also there and is deep in denial lol

[turtleblogatlast]

Leo: *keeps sacrificing himself and getting hurt*

His family: YOU'RE HURT!!!!!

Leo, seeing they're safe: Tis but a scratch! :)

(I cannot stop thinking of Leo brushing off his injuries like the black knight from Monty Python and the holy grail. He'd do anything for them and anything to assure them that all is fine even though that is not the case. He'll keep doing it, though. Mikey may be many doctors, but Leo is Dr. Hope.)

[ cw: injury mention / self sacrifice mention / ]

I keep missing asks I am so sorry 😭😭

YEAH I imagine Leo as like

The type who is super dramatic over the smallest of injuries, but if he’s actually hurt, it’s all “well what can you do lol” especially after the invasion because he’s already known much worse and barely even made a sound during that.

#non au ask #injury mention / #self sacrifice / #hot take I’m gonna throw into the wind here #but I think each and every iteration of Leo actively tries to be the person they think best fits their team #they each share a pool of traits but lean into different ones more depending on what their respective team needs #most often copying what their idol does as a childish assumption that that’s the best way to go about things #and I love it #so here’s rise leo who portrays the levity and confidence of lou jitsu that he only halfway believes but desperately holds onto #until it crashes down #and so he gets a new idol #his future self - who sacrificed himself to save the past #karai as well #someone he couldn’t save but saved everyone through the loss of her own life #and Leo follows these footsteps eagerly #and it’s only a matter of time before this trait as well is leaned on too hard #and everything burns again #whoops too many tags lol :) #SIDE NOTE BUT TO ADD ON TO THAT DR HOPE STATEMENT #I actually think it’s really cute that Mikey and Leo are the Optimists of the bros #epitome of ‘let’s just vibe’

[dragonsdendoodles]

I need y’all to know I am going to be insufferable about this book when it comes out

#tbh i already am #currently feeling to me like percy jackson with a 90s transformers aesthetic going for it #which i am STOKED about #literally three names and zero descriptions whatsoever and yet i’m so incredibly tempted to attempt a design for leopold and emmet #and possibly max if i can figure out an idea of just what this show is going for #also lowkey giving generation loss #anyway i have something to do today i guess lol #also i don’t think i’m allowed to say i don’t have a favorite author anymore #sunderworld #the extraordinary disappointments of leopold berry

[hanzajesthanza]

also regis swearing at stygga is so meaningful to me because he swore over milva’s dead body and also in front of angoulême (and assumedly cahir too)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#txt #especially because milva was like… not only his friend but he cared for her medically… #i mean he did for everyone (including cahir and dandelion’s head injuries) but #idk regis seeing her dead when he had saved her life under the bridge and counselled her about pregnancy and abortion #and (i guess it’s headcanon but) when her ribs were broken by the druids and she was healing from that he was there for her #milva was beat up by the narrative but regis was always there with bandages lol #so to see her DEAD completely DEAD with no possibility of healing her #also because *he was off* and he paused for a drink (or two—who knows how many) #of course he’s like ‘fuck this place. i’m going to fuck this shit up’ because how shitty of a surgeon must he feel right now #and if he can’t protect his friends now with medicine well the only other option in his arsenal is Fucking Shit Up #his NOSEDIVE begins early in the halls of stygga castle and he just starts losing it #milva: dies | me: oh… oh they’re *all* gonna die huh… #who knows if regis had returned to the rest of the company and milva was still alive. who knows. maybe he wouldn’t have continued to drink #and maybe he wouldn’t have made that suicidal leap towards vilgefortz in the end #i think that in the loss of the rest of the company regis had nothing left to live for #both from an in-universe POV and from a narrative writing POV #because remember that there were previously written versions in which regis survived and lived #so paying attention to not just when he dies but when he starts to go on this downward trajectory is relevant #because sapkowski intentionally devised a way in which he would die that would be plausible for his character #which means that his death isn’t just random. this version was a specially crafted version to ‘allow’ for his death #i love how AS was like well yeah of course milva and cahir are going to die. but yeah i admit angouleme and regis are just stupid #(to clarify he said angouleme dies stupidly) #but i think saying ‘there were other versions in which the vampire survived’ = this is the version where he is stupid #c: regis #analysis #IN THE TAGS lol #book: lady of the lake

[algolagniaa]

does anyone have any good non-meat centric recipes that don’t involve heavy spices or garlic or onions?

#some meat is okay just not meat as the main event #all my cooking relies on spices and alliums so I’m at a loss lol

[grubbbbbb]

my take on pac-man satoru gojo but like reduced each time i drew him

#jujutsu gojo #196 #gojo fluff #gojo satoru #jjk satoru #jujutsu kaisen #anime art #yuji itadori #jujutsu kaisen megumi #lol i’m usually good @ art but im wine drunk & there r so many loss memes in the 196 hashtag #loss #lol

[elliottsmithlover199]

forgot i had tumblr lmao

#elliott smith #lol memes #clone high #spotify #i’m so funny #oscar issac #memory loss

[babyfairy]

god said i’m going to put you through unending emotional pain and turmoil and give you the most unbearable personality on earth so that you’ll feel guilty whenever you don’t deal with it in complete isolation. good luck and enjoy

#my eyes are raw from crying at work and i can tell it doesn’t matter lol as long as i’m here and working who cares #i could walk out in front of my job and step in front of a vehicle and die and they’d probably just be upset about the loss of labor #i hate myself but i hate the world around me more. i don’t belong here. i’m only here out of obligation and guilt and shame that’s it

[akkivee]

throwback to that time hitoya served jyushi some coffee and it changed the trajectory of his entire life lmao

#this is vee speaking #black tea fits with the vkei aesthetic so it’s not a loss tbh lol #bat’s hypster fc drama track lives rent free in my head and is always home there it’s so good lmao #admitted tea btches kuukou and jyushi making hitoya coffee out of the goodness of their hearts with strange methods lmao #hitoya: *seeing them grind coffee beans mortar and pestle style* i-i’m fine with just normal coffee #kuukou: ??????? it’s not flavoured clearly it’s normal coffee #and by pestle i mean a hammer LOL

[van-eazy]

in the coming years celebrity AI porn will be the secret shame everyone watches but pretends they don’t, and ozempic will be the secret prescription everyone takes but pretends they’re just “counting calories”

#I’m passing no moral judgment on either thing just predicting lol #it’s already the secret drug of many weight loss stories #could literally change the economy #plus ai is gonna change everything in ways that are good bad and neutral like all tech #I imagine contact lenses with reality filters will be common #why sea boring old reality when ai can augment an anime universe instead #I better get to the grocery store before it closes #and no NOT EVERYONE I’m generalizing Jesus

[newvegasdyke]

Anyway. Before and after September to May. Fixed my A1C!! My insulin is a lot lower. Nice

#Weight loss tw #Sorry I’m semi obsessed with feeling better lol

[chronicillnesscaneffoffplease]

“The labs found something wrong!” 😊😌

“The labs found something wrong!” 😥😔

The two moods when labs actually come back with stuff out of range and clearly not right™️.

#the ups and downs of chronic illness #chronic illness #invisible illness #gastrointestinal fuckery #gastroparesis #my tummy up to its usual fuckery #gotta go back to see the gastroenterologist 😔 #bc my inflammation markers are high and my vitamins are screwy so like #they think I might have absorption #inflammation or loss issues. #and given I don’t have a period anymore #that means any loss is gonna be internal #(but that’s where the blood is supposed to be lol) #anyway I’m not happy with this turn of events ahhhhhhhhhhh