#I wish that I knew how to animate because the AMV that lives in my head for this song is LEGENDARY

[cryptidradish]

girl help I am listening to birdtalker and having Emotions about wizards

#caleb widogast #essek thelyss #mighty nein #Shadowgast #critical role #I wish that I knew how to animate because the AMV that lives in my head for this song is LEGENDARY #song recs #tbh this song can apply to most of the m9 in different similarly heart wrenching ways #but something about this song + the wizards #fucks me up man #Spotify

[novelmonger]

Happy Birthday, A.

It hit me like a sucker punch to the gut when I realized what day it was today. Has it been two years? Has it been longer? I'm trying to make myself stop counting. Funny thing is, no matter how hard I try to do that or how well I succeed, I can't stop thinking about you every single day.

I've been meaning to write you another letter in a bottle, but haven't gotten around to it until now. Sorry about that.

I don't cry about it anymore. I can't even remember when the last time was that I cried about the hole in my heart. I'm trying to stop counting that too, I guess. But I can't ignore it, because there are so many things, every day, that bring you to mind. Things that remind me of you. Things I wish I could tell you.

I watched the Death Note musical, and all I could think about the whole time was how we would have dissected every moment of it together. I talked about it some with a couple other Death Note fans, but they didn't understand L like you did. For us to see eye-to-eye, I would have had to explain years upon years of reasoning and headcanoning. I never had to do that with you, because we lived through that together.

Did you go see TMNT: Mutant Mayhem this summer? I thought of you the whole time I was watching it. I thought of how much you would love the animation, the way the turtles actually acted like real teenagers. I imagined how we would go watch it on the same day, then get on and talk about it after.

I ran across the name John Freeman in my work. Every time I read the name, I felt an ache somewhere deep inside me, thinking of how much you all would have laughed. The quotes we would share, the far-fetched stories we would come up with for how he ended up in my line of work.

Around Christmastime, Bokksu made an advent calendar, did you see? Did you and your siblings get it and go through it? When I saw the announcement, it felt like I was looking into another dimension, a parallel world where we were still friends. We would have each gotten one this year and gone through them together. I know that with 100% certainty. Even though I'm here, in this reality where it didn't happen. Where all that happened was me staring at the email for far too long, then closing it and trying not to think about it anymore.

I made my first AMV. You would have been so proud of me. You would have clapped, maybe given me some constructive criticism. Maybe I would have been inspired to make another AMV, this one for your birthday. Instead, all I'm doing is writing this letter you'll never read.

The other day, "Near" came on, and as always seems to happen anymore, I had to stop everything I was doing and just stare into space, listening to it. It still sounds like the ache in my heart. When you're at the end, that's when you want the most to keep on going. "I want to live in this world a little bit longer."

Even though we don't talk anymore, I can never escape you. Over the years, I've learned that in a way, I can live without you. I wasn't sure I could before everything fell apart. That was why I clung so tightly, until my fingers were bruised and bloody. But in another way, I can't live without you, because your fingerprints are on every area of my life. I wonder if that would bother you if you knew. I wonder if it's the same for you. And if that bothers you.

As for me, I kind of like it despite the pain. I've both lost you, and I haven't. Schroedinger's pain.

Would you laugh at that joke? I don't know anymore.

I know I've changed in the time since we last spoke, and I'm sure you have too. But I hope your laugh hasn't changed. I hope your enthusiasm for the stories you love hasn't lessened at all. I hope you're still writing, still gaming, still watching things that have no right to be as good as they are and pulling every ounce of beauty out of them to share with the world.

I hope you had a good birthday today. I wish I could have helped you celebrate, I wish my presence wouldn't have been a damper on the whole day. Believe it or not, all I want is for you to be happy.

I hope you've moved on and made new friends. I hope you've discovered new movies, new shows, new games. I hope you've gotten new ideas for stories of your own, and that you're making really good progress in writing them. I hope that, if you do think of me as often as I think of you, that the good memories outweigh the bad.

Maybe that's just me being selfish, but that's the way it is for me.

I love you.

[lady-lycany]

The list with my most important and noticable identities that I've mentioned yesterday. I knew it would become more text so feel free to read only what interests you the most :}

Let's start with the Werewolf which is the most common here. There was a time in life, where I heavily tried to deny it but never really succeeded. But in that time, it was more the desire to howl and to be on all fours. To be free. But I dealt less with phantom limbs like ears and tail (which are now again almost always there. Especially the ears) I count my multiple fantasy worlds into this one section cuz, yea it's all wolf. Doesn't matter if it's Wolf's Rain, Wolfblood, Teenwolf or the story with Mark, that I've going on for about half a year now lol. As I got older, I noticed, that not only I definitely don't want to be in the alpha role, but also, that I was wrong with only wanting to be a wolf. That's the problem of being a werewolf. When you're too long in the role of a human, you'll eventually need a break, but so the same with only being a wolf. You'll always need both in your life, but at the same time you'll never really belong somewhere.

InuYashas Wife. Yea, it's stupid to be in love with someone fictional, I'm aware, but even tho, I still can develop crushes on other guys, my heart still somehow belongs to him. He saved my life and spent so many ears on my side, that when we went different paths, it felt like a part of my soul left me. It got so quiet in my mind (so quiet, and lonely, that I became depressed again). I still miss him and wish I wouldn't have fcked it up (which was more the fault of my ex bestie, but I realized that a bit too late). Two years ago, I fought my blockage and spoke to him for the first time again, because he came up to me with the information, that he has a daughter now. I instantly developed mother feelings for her. I still hope, that we'll get closer together in the future again, but right now it's probably for the best if we stay apart. It hurts, but I pretty much got used to it. I still can't really rewatch the anime or amv's. It's not as bad as it was a few years ago but yea. The feelings are still there and there's still a part of my soul missing that he took with him.

Then we have Invisible Vectoria (short VEC). Some people might heard of her before. She's my OC kin and a mix between Laughing-Jack and a Diclonious. Just as I miss to run on all fours and have a tail and ears, I miss my vectors pretty badly. She was the part of me, that pushed my werewolf-self aside and made me deny it. She was the one, who was my salvation and my curse at the same time. Because she was there, I could let out all the madness in my mind without actually living it out (Even tho, she wanted to do it so badly). She was the main character of my stories that I wrote, where she could do everything she wanted. Now I'm in a state, where I try to deny her again, but it's just not so simple. Violence still kinda turns me on. I don't want to feel like that but yea... Just as I never really got rid of being a werewolf in the times where I tried to, I can't get rid of her.

Then there's the Shinigami (Kuroshitsuji) part of me. The only dream job I felt like was made for me, was being a shinigami. If I had the validation that, just as in the anime, suicide would turn you into a shinigami, I wouldn't have hesitated at all. In that time I met Eric and Alan, which are still the most important beings in my life. It already hurt when Inu left me. But if these two would leave me, I wouldn't know how to stay alive. ((Grell was my best friend back then until my exbestie forced me into a relationship with him. So he was the reason, why I felt like I cheated on Inu. Stupid huh? I know. But that's how loyal I am.)) I spend many years in the Shinigami role, and I truly miss it. I'm thinking about rewatching the anime, but I know what will happen- I will have shifts of that personality for a looong while again and many many bittersweet memories will flood my mind. I can bet on that lol. Oh yea, also, for the first time, I was glad, that I had glasses myself. The werewolf side always hated them and their unnatural feeling and so, when I was a kid, my mom had to train me, to keep em on. Every evening, when I kept my glasses on for a day, I got a little toy figure. Like a dog gets a treat when he did what he was supposed to lol. I still wish, that I wouldn't need them, but the shinigami part of me was proud and happy and I could accept them for the first time.

And also the dragon(rider) from httyd. I would say I'm more of a rider but I still wonder, where my phantom wings come from, that I have from time to time lol. I had already multiple dreams of riding on the back of a dragon and also own two Skrill dragons. Well, one is more like a good friend who visits me often but still lives free. And then there's my Skrill kiddo, that hatched from an egg in my presence. She's completely pink (the underside of the wings and her chest are light pink. I already posted a pic of her here) but her eyes are more blueish. I called her Nyssa (which translates to Fairy) and she's not the best when it comes to flying. She's still very clumsy, but I think she'll get better the older she gets. Me and Dagur were best friends and he also teached me how two write in ruins. I also miss this world a lot cuz I rarely spend time there.

And last but not least we have Spirit (stallion of the cimarron). To be honest, I still don't know if he's an actual kin of mine, but I still have a strong connection to him, the movie and the soundtracks. Every song fits perfectly to me or a situation I was in. His whole life story kinda happened in my life as well. Of course not in the literal way. More theoretically. The song "get off of my back" was translated into "bleib bloß von mir weg" which means "just stay tf away from me" in german and so all lyrics could also connect to my werwolf side.

There are also still some other things like the whole thing with the fallen angel, something zombie like and the phantom wings but I still can't seem to figure them out.

All these things are still a big part of who I am, but in the last years, I always put my werewolf-self in the front and put anything else back. And I'm not able to connect them all. I mean how would I? But it annoys me, that if someone would ask me "hey I can send you into a reality that you want the most" I couldn't respond and wouldn't know which one to pic. I want the body of a werewolf, but so I want vectors. I couldn't live without Eric and Alan but also would forever miss and hate myself for not picking Inu. And watching my little dragon grow up and live a life so free on the back of a dragon, who would want to miss that? I really couldn't decide.

#otherkin #fictionkin #ockin #otherkin community

[slowlyflowing]

So, I have recently come to conclude that Soul Eater is not a synpath, as I previously thought, but rather a kintype. I've never been good at essays centering on self reflection, trying to puts feelings into words is just bleh, but I’m gonna try as I wanted to talk about how my relationship with this character has evolved.

Starting from the very beginning, my journey with the Soul Eater series started a decade ago. I discovered the anime while on a forum. Not through discussion of it, but rather because a person had a Soul Eater AMV embedded in their signature and the thumbnail caught my eye. I watched it and got pretty intrigued. I immediately decided to watch the anime. At the time I loved it, but also never considered it a favorite. The horror elements were great and the characters likeable, however there were also some parts that I didn’t go crazy for.

I can’t in good faith make big considerations on my feeling at the time. It’s been a long time and I worry confirmation bias may influence my memories. I can say I didn’t start seeing Soul as myself, but I also knew nothing of fictionkinity at the time. Besides, I was in middle school and majorly confused about everything, so I’ll forgive myself for not catching on to anything.

I started connecting the Soul Eater series and alterhumanity some... two or three years ago? Rather than the characters, it was the setting that struck me. I had learnt of the concept of hearthome, and it hit me almost out of nowhere that Death City fit the bill. Not going to get into too much detail about that since it’s not the focus of this essay, but Death City is like the perfect mixture of many different things that make me feel at ease, or that I long for. It was a bit of a perplexing moment for me. I hadn’t given much thought to the series for a few years at that point, so it surprised me that I’d connect so intensely with the setting. Yet it just worked.

Later on, I came to the conclusion that the two main characters, Soul Eater and Maka Albarn, were my synpaths. I realized this after doing a read of the manga - which from an objective analysis I find better structured than the anime, but on a more emotional standpoint the manga comes second for me. I felt connected, that was the only way for me to describe it. Maka felt like an old friend. I had a few brief “shifts” too, where I almost felt like her, but they have always been rare and last no more than a couple hours.

Soul... well. I have Soul shifts too, but they’ve always been far more common and lasted longer. Maka “fades” as soon as I’m out of shift, but Soul tends to linger longer. While Maka has that definite “friend” feel, Soul was somewhat different. Like I cared about him, but I never cared cared? Here we go with my inability to describe emotions. There was a strong connection, but while Maka is in some ways akin to a comfort character, someone that makes me feel nice when I think about her, Soul never had the same effect. Which makes sense if I look at Soul as a kintype rather than a synpath. You can’t be your own comfort character, can you?

I think one reason I considered Soul a synpath for long before moving him to kintype status - and I did think about it even before the latest round of questioning - is that I always found character specific fictionkinity hard to conceptualize. I understand having a fictional species kintype well enough, but figuring out how can one be a character gave me more trouble. I accepted it, because understanding shouldn’t be a requisite for respect, but it confused me. To be honest, it confuses me even now that I conceded I may be fictionkin myself.

On a surface level, I suppose I have some personality traits that align well with Soul, but that is hardly the core of it. I wish I could live in my hearthome. I wish I could meet Maka, or also Chrona. I want to have pointy teeth so badly. I have a handful of noemata about my canon (and, uh, it feels super weird to talk about this in these ways). There’s just something that says that being Soul is right. It feels right to call myself Soul. There’s differences between us just as much as there are similarities, but that doesn’t change the fact that I feel like him, even when I consider the things that straight up contradict who I am otherwise.

Another thing that left me on the fence, is that I don’t always 100% feel like him. I’ve seen people say at times that kintypes aren’t always the same intensity, that they tend to fade during some periods and be stronger during others, so I tried to examine my feelings under those lenses. At times I feel like I’m Soul, and at times I feel like I’m almost him, like I should be but I’m not. That feelings is more similar to how having a synpath or heart-type is, so I had to think about them. I think now that a better way to describe those moments is thinking “I am Soul, but I’m not Soul, because my life is different, but we’re two versions of a same person”. Like I’m AU Soul, basically.

And that’s where I’m at. I may write more as I think more on this. One thing I’ve been thinking about is origin theories. For my polymorph kintype, I don’t care about origins, because the fact that I’m like this now matters a lot more than why I am like this. On the other hand, I feel that if I’m fictionkin I want to know why. I’m someone who usually doesn’t even relate to characters, this level of self identification is really out of the ordinary for me, and it confuses me.

#otherkin #fictionkin #alterhuman

[shipmistress9]

D E F G H I J K L M N O P, Q R S T U V, W X Y and Z 😇😉. I sung the alphabet while writing this as well 😂. You don’t have to answer all of them though, just pick which ones you want 😊.

🤣🤣🤣

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

My fandom life would be easier if I liked Heathstrid at least a little bit... But I can’t and I don’t really want to, either...

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

The oneshots Spin The Bottle and Pick Me Up.

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

Given that I only learned about the existence of fandom as a concept in late 2016, the longest I’ve ever been in a fandom is roughly 4,5 years.

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

Many! Currently it’s Hiccstrid and Hicretstrid. And maybe a little Zelink. But thinking back, I think my very first OTP was when I was around five years old. From the Captain Tsubasa anime series, Tsubasa and... I don’t even know her name... 🤣 There was this girl who always cheered him on and was his no.1 fan. ANd in hindsight, I think I also shipped Tsubasa... with nearly all other players, mainly, Taro Misaki, Jun Misugi, and Kojiro Hyuga. 🤣

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

TV-shows, mostly. I prefer the visuals over books and I prefer the slower development over those in movies.

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

Not caused me to stop liking them. But in some cases (ATLA and TDP, to name two) it raised my expectations so high that, when I finally got to dip into them, I was rather underwhelmed. It also didn’t help that I already knew the ending and some major plot points. If there’s one sure way to dampen my excitement it’s spoilers.

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)

Supernatural. Pretty much all other fandoms I dip into occasionally, I knew at least a little before. But literally everything I know about Supernatural is from seeing posts here. 🤣

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

I can’t think of an individual character right now, but in general an arc I like is someone (re-)learning to trust.

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

Snotlout has a great relationship with his dragon. Valka, too. Gobber and the twins are always fun, in their own ways.

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

Already answered before.

Hmm... First, I wanted to say Astrid. And I'd enjoy having her as a friend, as someone to challenges me to be more active, to work on my skills and someone to talk.

But I think, I'd enjoy being friends with Hiccup, too. I'd like to brainstorm ideas, ponder over inventions and exchange ideas. Geek out about dragons!

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

Acceptance, respect, and some common sense. But that’s not just fandom...

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

My very long list of favoured songs randomly gave me 9 Crimes by Damien Rice. There once was an absolutly stunning AMV with this song about the TV-show The Legend Of The Seeker, The Sword Of Truth (based on the books by Terry Goodkind). I was deeply in love with Richard’s and Kahlan’s relationship, and with Cara on a general level. That AMV featured them all, and I loved it!

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

Oh, oh, oh, oh! I just thought about this modern meet-cute AU for Hiccstrid a few days back, might as well write it down here. (And will also copy it over into an individual post, I think...)

Hiccup is a single father of a three-years-old daughter. One day, he meets Astrid in a supermarket; she’s in front of him at the check-out and when he hears her voice, he’s stunned. Because he knows her voice, hears it every day. Because she lend her voice to one of these talking toys for toddlers.His daughter’s favourite toy.

Hiccup always liked that toy best, too, because it didn’t sound as annoying as most others. Pleasant even. When he sees and hears Astrid, he recognises her voice in an instant. He jokingly thanks her for making his days more bearable. She’s confused, who is this weirdo? So he tries to explain. “The toy. My daughter’s toy. It’s your voice. A pleasant voice. I listen to it every day.” He keeps getting weirder, stammers, turns red like a tomato, until he eventually just flees, wishing a hole would open up to swallow him, that was so embarrassing.

Meanwhile, Astrid is touched. Knowing that there is at least one little girl who likes the toy she helped create. And her father, apparently. Who had been cute. In how shy he’d been. And how excited. She’s sorry he left before she was able to talk to him and thank him.

Over the next days, Hiccup would think of her a lot. Every time he hears her voice again, he’d think of her. Her face. Her smile. Until they, eventually, meet again... ^^

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.

Answered before

None, really. There are several fandoms I grew out of, like Sailor Moon or Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne. But I wouldn't say I abandoned them. I still enjoy seeing content about them.

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

Those of the rider with their dragons. Hiccup&Toothless. Astrid&Stormfly.

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

Pretty much all of my headcanons are about Hiccstrid in one way or combination. One of my personal favourites is that Astrid has a tiny birthmark on the back of her neck. She doesn’t even know it’s there, she can’t see it and it’s almost always covered by her hair anyway. But Hiccup knows it’s there. And he loves to place a kiss on it. It tickles and would always make her giggle. And she smells so nice.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

*snorts* No. If there are people who don’t share my headcanons, then... they don’t have to? I can live and be friends with people regardless of whether we share the same headcanons or not. And if people keep attacking me for mine, I’ll just block them and walk away. Arguing about something like that is not worth my time.

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

Astrid. HTTYD.

erm...

uh...

I really have difficulties thinking of favourites from any other fandoms here! xD

uhm...

Princess Zelda from Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Kaladin Stormblessed from the Stormlight Archives.

I might have a type here. Brave, strong, not always easy to deal with. Fiercely loyal. Stubborn. Proud. Honourable. that’s all three of them. ^^

V - Which character do you relate to most?

Same answer as the above, mostly. I think I already wrote a long answer to a similar question once. 🤔 I relate to Astrid in many ways. Loyal and reliable, not always easy to approach, often prefers to deal with her problems on her own instead of asking for help.

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

Anything jealously, especially it being portrayed as a sign of love or dedication. But also love triangles. Unnecessary.

Another thing I don’t like is when there’s a misunderstanding and they argue about it and get angry and yell and have a huge falling-out... when it all just boils down to them not listening.

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

Answered before.

Forbidden Romance. In any form. I just love the angsty tension it brings without the characters fighting or arguing about misunderstandings.

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

Supernatural, ATLA, TDP, MCU.

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.)

With all the critical thinking that’s encouraged in fandom culture, I wish more people would remember Ratatouille and this quote by Anton Ego.

“In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so.”

-- Anton Ego (Ratatouille)

Or at least respect it. It’s called entertainment and not lecture about every little detail that is wrong with other people’s opinions. I get why it’s important to look deeper and question meanings and intentions, I really do. But sometimes, I’d prefer to at least occasionally just enjoy something without getting lectured by others for it.

_____

Thank you! 😘💜

#ask #drakaina-amore64 #ask game #long post

[fortune-fool02]

Child of Woe

Dio Brando x teenage son reader

Warnings: angst

This was mainly inspired by a Castlevania amv of Alucard. Please enjoy.

Their life had been peaceful in that manor of theirs. A father, a mother and their child living together as a family would be expected to. Though with the father being a creature of darkness and the woman a human, their love created what many would call an abomination of human and vampire.

But [Name] was nothing of a monster. He was as human appearing as his parents, the only features he inherited from his father were the fangs in his mouth, the cold touch of his skin and his father’s facial structure. With the addition of his own Stand that bared a resemblance to The World. Unlike his father, [Name] was capable of stepping into the sun’s light and be embrace by a loving warmth rather than a scorching agony that crumbled him to dust. 

This was the gift that his mother had bestowed upon him. The humanity of his mother’s blood allowed [Name] to be unharmed by the sun and for that, he was grateful for. And, as a family should have, they lived together without problems. Dio loved his wife and son. The wife loved her husband and son. And [Name] loved his father and mother. 

Sadly, this love was taken from them and used to severe the bonds that kept them together when members of the Church discovered them. Dio was out with his son when their manor had been broken into, the church members took his wife and dragged her to the centre of town. With the accusation of witchcraft and courting with the Devil, [Name]’s mother had been found guilt of such accusations and was burnt at the stake. 

[Name] was only the young age of eight when he lost his mother, and, in a way, he also lost his father that day. The news of his wife’s horrible fate broke something inside of Dio, the light that had once filled his body because of his love for his wife was snuffed out and a twisted anger took its place; plaguing his body with a parasitic rage that showed no mercy for anything. In one night of blind, heart-broken rage, Dio had slaughtered the entire town, not sparing a single soul -man, woman, child, animal, he didn’t care- he slaughtered them all. 

By dawn, the town streets were decorated with the corpses of people who lived here, the streets ran red with blood and [Name] knew at that moment, the man who had done this was not his father but a creature of rage and anger. 

[Name] had disappeared off the face of the world to is father, but he knew his son was not dead, he would have felt it if he had fallen such a fate. Yes, as the years had passed by, Dio’s anger towards all of the human race did not falter nor weaken. He and his family had done nothing wrong and he had everything taken from him. And so he saw it only fair that he took away everything they had. 

It was during the termination of one town that Dio had crossed a familiar face among the flames’ smoke. His son, [Name]. The years had taken their affect on the once small boy who was practically a mirror image of Dio in his teen years before he took the power of the Stone Mask; of course, the features of his mother were evident more than ever now. 

In [Name]’s hand was something he never believed he would hold; a blade. In the years he was gone, [Name] had grieve in his own way and learnt to not let his own anger consume him as it had his father. His mother would not wish for that nor would she wish for Dio to unleash such carnage upon those who were innocent. The members of the Church who had taken his mother’s life were long dead, all of the lives that have died by Dio’s hand were innocent.

Much to how it pained [Name], he knew what he had to do. He had to stop his father. 

The battle was far from humane, as neither of the vampires were willing to back down. In Dio’s eyes, his son had been tainted by the humans and so he had to be stopped; in the name of his deceased wife, Dio would wipe out every single human on this Earth for the pain they had endured. This pain and rage blinded his father and [Name] wanted nothing more than to rip the veil from his eyes and let him see that he did not need to commit genocide for his mother. But that was impossible as the veil was branded into his father’s eyes by how they glowed with rage. 

Dio grabbed his son by the back of his jacket and launched him towards the manor, breaking through one of the many windows and leaping in after him. Blood trickled down [Name]’s face, his efforts to stand back up were pointless as his father slammed his foot into [Name]’s knee, shattering the bone like glass and then sending him flying through a stone wall. 

Dio took one step into the room and froze, a deer in the headlights as his eyes scanned the room. A room he has not stepped foot in many years, as it caused far too much pain for him to but now here he stood, in the centre of the room and open to the attacks it inflicted upon him. 

“It’s... your room.” All the memories, all the images, everything came crashing into Dio as he looked around; each memory as vivid as the day it happened. When [Name] took his first steps in this very room, where he would read to his son at night to calm him and soothe his frightened mind when awoken from a nightmare. All of it. [Name]’s young voice echoing around him as he watched the phantoms of those memories wander by. 

What has he done? Dio looked away from the image of his young child to the young man who laid slumped against the wall, blood staining his clothing and skin. Even [Name] looked as if he had been struck by the memories. How could it have come to this? It all seemed.... unbelievable. The peaceful happy life he had of his childhood was nothing but a distant life now, stained with blood and tears. The echo of his mother’s soft voice whispered in his head. 

An almost pained gasp was heard from his father, his clawed hand curled towards his chest where his heart would be; the flaring rage in his eyes fading away, an empty void of grieve and guilt. The veil had been torn and his father could see clearly again. His head lowered, eyes shadows as his shoulders slumped. 

“I’m... I’m killing my boy.” The pain in his father’s voice was something [Name] has not heard in many years, ever since they learned the fate of his mother. And even then, it was mixed with raw anger. This pain... it was pure. No anger. No bitterness. Just soul-crushing pain that could crumble anyone to their knees. 

“[Mother’s Name], I’m killing our boy...” Dio turned his gaze to a painting that hung by the side. The three of them, happy together. [Name] rose to his feet, grabbing hold of his blade and limping over to his father, stopping in front of him. 

For the first time in a long time, Dio looked... defeated. Tired, pained and defeated. The three things [Name] never believed his father could be. Dio looked down at his hands, a lost expression on his face as if he had lost his way. 

“Your greatest gift to me... and I’m killing him.” He rose his head and locked eyes with his son, sorrow laced tears pricking them. “I must already be dead.” 

[Name] blinked, his own [Eye colour] eyes damp with tears. After all the pain and suffering they were forced to endure, this was how it ended. What once bonded them together had torn them apart and now the stitch was too far to be fixed. 

Dio lowered his head, aware of the blade in his son’s hand. He accepted this fate for the guilt of harming his son was too much for him. He had broken the promise he swore to both his wife and his son that he would protect [Name] with all the power he had, and that was something he could not live with. With a heavy heart, [Name] rose the blade, piercing it through his father’s chest. 

Blood spilled from Dio’s mouth, trickling down the metal and down [Name]’s arm. “...son.” the word left his lips with the same gentleness he used to soothe [Name] when he was a child. Biting back a sob, [Name] drove the blade further into Dio’s chest, wanting to give his father a painless end. 

“Father...” With one more push, the blade reached its target and Dio gasped in pain. His body cracking like pottery before crumbling into dust, leaving his clothing as the only evidence he was there. 

Silence screamed around the halls of the manor as [Name] stood there for a moment, looking at where his father once stood before the blade fell from his grip, clacking to the floor with a loud thud. Tears trickled down the [Hair colour] male’s face as he fell to his knees, his body worn and exhausted from the battle and the pain of the memories. 

He could only pray to whatever God there was that his father was reunited with his mother. Somewhere where they could be happy again. 

Just like they used to be...

#dio #dio brando #jojo bizarre adventure #dio x reader #dio brando x reader #jojo bizzare adventure x reader #jojo #jojo x reader #dio stardust crusaders #stardust crusaders #stardust crusaders x reader #male reader #reader insert

[medea10]

My Review of Fruits Basket (2019): 1st Season

#Fruits Basket #Tohru Honda #kyo sohma #Yuki Sohma #Akito Sohma #shigure sohma #arisa uotani #saki hanajima #momiji sohma #Kisa Sohma #ritsu sohma #ayame sohma #hatori sohma #hiro sohma #kazuma sohma #anime review

[tatu-girls]

t.A.T.u. Fan #1 - 18/Male

I’m so glad that we now have our first entry. 

Please take the fan survey and either submit it through tumblr or email me at [email protected]. You can remain anonymous!

How old are you, male or female, and where do you come from?

18, male, Louisiana USA

When did you first hear of t.A.T.u.?

I first heard of t.A.T.u. in a youtube AMV late one night when I was 8 or 9. 

When did you start considering yourself a fan of t.A.T.u.?

That same night, I watched all of their songs from 200 km/h, so I knew I loved the sound and the atmosphere they made. I just didn't really think about them on and off for years. Since I recently revisited the album in full, I am now a superfan again.

Do you have a favorite song or album? Is there a reason why it’s your favorite?

Show Me Love, because it always makes me feel loved. It's a very intimate, protective song. 

Do you have a favorite music video? What makes it your favorite?

Maybe Snowfalls? Because it's so wild, crazy, and fun. I could go on and on about it.

Do you feel connected to their music in some special way?

In short, I think they do a good job of seeming like lovers even if they really weren't. This makes you the listener feel like you're loved with them vicariously. They also combine intimacy and love with themes like grunge, sadness, kind of goth, aesthetic-type stuff, which really makes the artistic message more powerful and emotional, to me. They make me very strongly feel a feeling I can't describe. 

Do you own any t.A.T.u. music or merchandise? (Or anything related to them e.g. magazine, the dvd “You and I” for example.) You can share your collection with a list and/or photos.

No, I can't say I do. 

Do you wish you owned anything that you can’t find or afford? What is it?

I collect dolls so I wish there was an anime-style ball jointed doll of either singer. I'd cry if that was a real thing. Other than that, I just wish that I could have feasibly attended a concert of theirs before they broke up. 

Do you still listen to their music? How often?

Yes, a few times a week. Their songs are mixed in with other artists in my big playlists. 

Is there any music by them that you didn’t like? For instance, you stopped listening after a certain album.

I haven't heard Waste Management yet. 200 km/h is still my favorite, but I was actually surprised to see that their second album was almost as good (in my opinion).

Were you a member of the forum on tatugirls.com? Do you remember your old screen name? Share any memories you have from there.

No, I hadn't heard of it. I wish I did, though, in time. 

Did you join any other fan forums?

No, I've never used any forum regularly, but I could if interested.

Did you create any websites, fan videos, fan art, fan fiction, etc.? Feel free to share them.

Nope. I'm sorry I'm saying no to a lot of these. But I do very much enjoy these fanmade tributes.

Are you a fan of Lena’s and Yulia’s solo works?

I actually haven't checked any of it out. I wish both singers health and fulfillment in their personal lives. And that they may one day intertwine again.

Have you ever been to a t.A.T.u. concert or a Lena/Yulia concert?

No. I normally don't like going to concerts, even for bands I love. Hate standing still. But for t.A.T.u, I would go. Their concerts seem so crazy and fun. 

Share any other memories related to t.A.T.u.

t.A.T.u was one of the first bands I actually found on my own and liked, so hearing their original album tracks for me takes me right back to where I was when I first heard them in the third grade. I haven't been a die-hard fan every year, but their music was always there for me when I felt down. Long live our girls!

#taty #tatu #t.A.T.u. #tatu fans #eurovision #2003 #2002 #200km h in the wrong lane #julia volkova #yulia volkova #lena katina #russia #pop music

[sweet-star-cookie]

I feel really out of place all the time, like I don’t fit in anywhere. I guess this post is a few thoughts to (maybe) figure out why, aside from my usual anxiety and depression.

My appearance doesn’t match my age. I don’t really have a huge problem with this in general, but it can get rather annoying when I’m treated like a child at any given moment, for reasons that are usually not relevant to that specific situation. But at the same time, I get it. I wear bright colours, I wear my hair in pigtails, I like cartoons, I get unnaturally excited about cute things. I understand the perception, especially at first glance. I only wish there was a way I could accept it more. I don’t like my physical appearance as is, but that’s another hurdle to jump entirely.

I don’t have a place I consider “home”. Don’t get me wrong, I have several places that I live / have the ability to live in, so I will always have a roof over my head. I am extremely grateful for this, but as of now none of them feel like a place I can be truly comfortable. My current living space is a basement in a sketchy part of a city I don’t like. Living at home is stressful and irritating for a variety of reasons. The only other city I lived in was only for two years, which was not enough time to forge any sort of connection to it. I don’t like the idea of moving somewhere new that might be good for me, only to find I don’t like it and have to move again. If I had a more nomadic personality perhaps this would be easier, but for now I have nowhere to go, and I need a solid foundation before I can even begin to start figuring out the rest of this mess of a life. I can picture my dream living space in my head, but reality says it won’t be mine any time soon. I’ve flown the coop, but have nowhere to land. 

I feel like a burden to anyone that chooses my company. Obviously this has to do with my self-esteem, which is the lowest it has ever been of late. No matter who I’m with, no matter how long I stay or what we’re doing, I constantly think that my actions, mannerisms, etc. will be noticed and disliked by everyone else, even down to something as simple as how much food I eat there. I cannot justify anything about myself, so I never feel totally relaxed and require reassurance that my mere existence is warranted. Even that doesn’t always convince me. It’s a strong case of self-sabotage, feeling like I don’t deserve all the beautiful and kind people in my life.

I’m ace aro. Yes this is a part of it too. Explaining asexuality is already hard enough, but like anyone else in this community having to explain it to several people, sometimes more than once, is nothing short of exhausting. I’ve mentioned asexuality to my family members before but to little avail, and this does not include my extended family. Adding aromantic into that mix makes it even harder, but I haven’t even approached that subject yet. It’s a multi-layered subject and I haven’t even scratched the surface. It’s even a little weird with some of my friends and peers, particularly when discussing relationships, children or marriage. I feel like an interloper by being the only person in my entire family that isn’t straight. I hope that someday this will be a source of pride (no pun intended) for future generations rather than shame, as is my hope for this community in general.

I don’t know how I’m going to make a living, because no “real” job feels like the right fit. Plain and simple, that’s the reality I’m facing right now. I officially finished my college schooling at the end of April this year, and the result left my future as a giant void of uncertainty. I went to school for animation, but learned the numerous realities of this field and what that means for me, and I discovered I wasn’t cut out for it. I have the skills, for sure, but everything that comes with a studio job sounds like an endurance test that I cannot complete, despite how much I love animation. Even freelance sounds like a terrifying expedition, especially with the added uncertainty of income that comes with it. I have no faith in myself right now, not even when I make art for fun. I cannot answer the question of why someone would choose me over anyone else for commissions, and I’m not assertive enough to convince them otherwise. Hell, I can’t even convince myself. I need time that I don’t have to establish any sort of traction online or anywhere else, but if my heart isn’t in it, than what is? I went to a job fair for animation recently, and as I looked around and saw my peers and faculty amongst the massive crowd of people, all from the same place as me, I felt completely and utterly alone. Deviating from the desire for a typical job in animation feels like a betrayal to the people that spent 3 years of their lives teaching me that subject, or being by my side to be taught with me. I’m sorry, guys.

Everyone has separate and wildly different expectations of me. Even my likeminded peers, but especially my family. They all assume my life will go a certain way or I’ll pursue certain avenues, but they probably don’t know any different based on what they know about me (we’ll get to that). I don’t have enough confidence to justify a change in these plans. Every family gathering feels like a status report, and it gets awkward if I don’t tell them something they’ll find satisfying. So I either don’t tell them or I lie, which is a trend I really don’t want to keep going, but it feels like the only way on most occasions. It’s easier to live the lie than go through the unnecessary struggle of the truth, especially with my family and their ability to blow everything out of proportion.

So many people don’t know the real me, and I have no idea how to explain it to them. I can’t talk to people, not even ones I know. Meeting new people sounds like an ordeal, so I don’t go out of my way to do it. That said, I can’t convince myself that I’m a person that someone would even want to know. I used to have someone who knew me better than anyone, and only now do I realize how much I relied on her for that support. I felt more comfortable with myself back then than I’ve ever felt before, and I miss feeling that way. We were dumb in high school, but we were dumb together, and that’s all that mattered. Every friendship I’ve ever had up to this point was a product of circumstance (school), and I wonder if that was the only thing that kept us together. History so far would say yes. Now that that’s no longer a part of my life, what happens now?

I love so many things, but can’t express my love for them. Both online and in person, the result is the same: fear. I feel like an outsider to fandoms that I would otherwise be a part of, I have no confidence to talk to people about the same things I like, I’ve never tried writing fanfiction because I feel unworthy to write stories about characters that aren’t mine, I’ve never tried making AMVs because I don’t have ships or really any ideas for them. I fear that whatever I’d share about these subjects isn’t worthwhile, and simply doing so is a waste of someone’s time. I keep hearing “no one cares” in my head, and “I do” is not a good enough rebuttal. I feel like I’m always being watched when I make art and have to be prepared to explain at length why I did every aspect of it, waiting for someone to call me out on something. Any idea that’s even remotely weird or “out there” comes with a wave of “what will people think of this?”, especially if it deviates from what I usually make. I love my OCs but even talking about them makes my brain jump ship every time. If I think the person won’t “get” the idea behind them, I am reluctant to explain more than base details, which misses the point entirely. Unless someone actively responds to everything I say in some way, I feel like I’m wasting their time and I shouldn’t continue. And even then I’m not a good enough verbal communicator to remember crucial details or their order in the moment. Every idea I’ve ever had sounds incredibly stupid the minute I have to explain it out loud, as I usually don’t have enough time to explain everything in the way I want to. And when I do get going, I talk way too much.

Even this post comes with its own set of fears regarding it’s length, it’s content, and whether it’s even worth saying at all. I still have no idea what to do or where I belong. Does it even matter?

...do I?

#personal #vent #long post #sorry for all the words

[clevercatchphrase]

2017 in review, and goals for 2018

If I had to describe 2017 in one word it would be... monotonous. Sure, there were plenty of ups and downs, but for the most part, especially the latter 6 months, I just felt like I was going through the motions, holding my nose to the grind stone, doing work and paying off student loans. 2017 blew by me, and I remember thinking each month passed by with unusal quickness. There's a strange sense of disociation with that, like I wasn't really connected to reality for most of the year, and instead watched it pass me by from a seperate temporal window. In a weird way it may have been a bit of a godsend as well. I hear 2017 was hard for a lot of people, but feeling so disonnected from the year may have protected me and cushioned the blow in a sense.

I lost a family member this year in early june. I knew it was coming ever since january as I hated having to watch them deteriorate and get worse and worse until they finally passed. The three months leading up to it and the three months after were particularly hard and left me feeling unable to write or draw or do anything productive. I still miss them terribly. I always will. But I hope I won't let it immobilize me as much this year as it did last year.

Anyway, Let's review my goals for last year and see what I've accomplished. I’ve a lot to say, so for brevity’s sake I’ve put it all under the cut.

GOALS FOR 2017 1) Finish my 50 billion fan fictions so I can get back to drawing Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha. HAHAHAHAHA. The depression I got halfway through the year throughly put a halt on this. I haven't even finished one of the fics I've started in 2016. I got close, seeing as i participated in NaNoWriMo this year to try and force myself to finish, but I still need to revise and edit all that I've written and the motivation is non existant. GOD, I have so many stories too, all of them still undertale fan fiction because I'm still not over that game. I'll list them all when I share my goals for this year later below. 2)Draw in 2 pages of my sketch book each week so I'll finish a sketch book in a year. I was SO CLOSE with this one! I filled out 95 pages! But you know what i discovered in august? I realized that my 100 page sketch book.... was actually 150 pages! Oh well! I drew more this year than I thought i would! Just because i didn't hit 100 pages, doesn't mean I didn't accomplish something! 3) Finish 14 out of the remaining 27 lessons on my duolingo course I went fucking above and beyond with this one. I hit this goal back in may, and then I completely finished up the danish duolingo course by november. I also passed my 1095 day streak which translates to doing duolingo daily for OVER 3 YEARS STRAIGHT. I still practice daily to build my vocabulary, and I know I can't speak it for the life of me, or follow along with fast speakers, but give me a few minutes and I can probably read it for you. Funny how that works, where I can understand danish if it's written out, but ask me to translate from english to danish and I struggle like a butterfly in a tumble dryer. 4) Become passibly fluent in ASL I have this box of 600 ASL flash cards, and this year I practiced two of them a day until I got through the entire box. I certainly learned a bunch of new words but I wouldn't say I was fluent yet. I certainly don't know all the grammar rules yet. I HAVE been able to sign with people at my job, though I do rely heavily on fingerspelling still. Most everyone I talked with seemed to know I was trying and they seemed really excited that I could understand them if they were patient with me. I put more of my focus on Danish last year, but now that I'm done with Danish, maybe I can focust more on ASL. My sister told me about this site similar to duolingo called "memrise" that actually has an ASL course, so you can bet I'll be looking into that. 5) Read the entire dictionary I did this! I kept two spiral note books and wrote down any words I thought were cool or interesting! I haven't gone back and re-read the words I wrote down, but maybe I will this year! It was exhausting. It was weird. I still can't believe I spent about 200 hours last year doing this. 6) Read one new book every month Much like my sketch book goal, I almost completed this one. I kept it up every month until October, and then I just... stopped. I read more than I thought this year, though I ended up usually waiting until the last week of each month to read, and I also cheated by counting the dictionary as one of the things I read (hey, it's a book, ain't it?) I also re-read old books that I know I like, so not entirely 10 new books were read this year. Reading 1 new book a month isn't one of my goals this year, but I hope to read more new stuff reguardless, 7) Actually use the tutorials and references I reblog Seeing as I barely did any digitial art this year, I can't say I did this one. 8) Do more art streams I think my goal was to stream once a month. I clearly didn't do this. I DID stream in 2017, I just didn't tell anyone. Idk why, I just... went live for people to see but didn't let anyone know I did. I also only streamed like... twice? sigh... So... out of the 8 goals I set, I would say I accomplished close to half. I read the dictionary, I finished my danish language course (which I'm counting as two completed goals) and combining the "read 1 new book a month" and "draw 100 pages in a sketch book" I'll count that as one completed goal. I went through all my ASL cards, though I'm not fluent, OH! I also wanted to pay off 6k loan that I had. I want to count this one as a success because I DID FUCKING PAY OVER 6 THOUSAND DOLLARS IN LOANS THIS YEAR. I got a surprise loan I had no idea about in june that was 1500 dollars, which threw me off. I managed to pay it off in 2 months, BUT IF THAT LOAN HAD NEVER EXISTED I TOTALLY WOULD HAVE FINISHED PAYING OFF THE 6K ONE. I've got a little over a thousand left to pay on the 6k loan now, which I will complete by the end of January. I'm so close to being under 10k in debt... GOALS FOR 2018 1)Go from being 5 figures in student loan debt down to 4 figures in debt (pay off 2 out of 4 loans) If everything goes according to Keikaku I'll achieve this by the end of June. This has to factor in things like updating my car registration in april, oil changes, tune ups, tire rotation, gas and food expenses, but as long as I don't get fired I should be fine! 2) Stretch Daily Not exercise. I never exercise. But it would be nice to increase my flexibility. 3) STOP TOUCHING YOUR GODDAMN FACE/ find an effective acne treatment I also want to try washing my face daily. Im fucking 25. I shouldn't have this many pimples. 4) Do another song comic I made A lyrictale for Undertale at the end of 2015 in ten days. I want to make another. I already have it scripted, now I just need to do it. 5) Do at least one art stream a month. Hey, maybe I can stream the next song comic I do. Sure, it'd spoil the song and story for everyone, but doesn't that sound fun? 6)Practice ASL I just started looking into Memrise and their ASL courses. They actually have A LOT, AND! THEY HAVE SIGN LANGUAGE COURSES FOR OTHER COUNTRIES! This year is gonna be fun. (Also, the only reason I want to learn ASL because of Undertale. I'll let you figure out how they are connected) 7) Sew 4 stuffed animals I started sewwing a Hobbes plush in the middle of last year. His body is finished. I just never did the head. The other three stuffed animals I want to make I will keep a secret because I love to keep people guessing. 8) Make two AMVs There are two songs I want to put to Avatar; The Last Airbender, and Avatar; The Legend of Korra. I have about half the footage... I just... need to rewatch the shows and put the clips together. Hey, maybe after I find all the clips I can do a stream of that as well. 9) Last but not least, finish my many, MANY Undertale Fan Fics. a. You Monster (34 out of 37 chapters are written, but only 29 are posted) b. Finish the "Of Two Minds" series (it's explicit don't look) c. Color Theory (A chasriel one shot) d. Something Left Behind (Terrible AU Idea #647) e. Let's Get Real (Self insert, joke, parody thing that will also be explicit) f. Game Day! (something about soccer games with Mettaton along the same vain as Field Trip!) g. Would You Like Fries With That (Nicepants because there's not enough of it in the world) h. Science Fair! (something with Undyne and school projects along the same vain as Field Trip!) i. One that is so horribly dark and fucked that I won't even describe it here. Welp! Those are my goals for 2018! What are your goals for 2018? Whatever they are, I wish you success and improvement, health and wealth! Stay safe this year! I love you all~

#new year's resolutions #long post

[fairy-hoe-tail]

Fairy tail was a mystery to me in the beginning, I didn’t quite like it in the beginning because I hate ecchi animes and well this was an ecchi anime, (still do lmao) but I found myself laughing and crying with the characters. I first found Fairy Tail in grade 5 when I was looking at amv’s and stumbled upon this nalu one. I didn’t even know that this amv was Fairy Tail, because I was partially new to the anime fandom, I assumed it was Naruto. Literally. But then I found it wasn’t and decided to go ahead and watch it. When I first started the show as I mentioned I didn’t like it. But the characters, the back stories, the plot and the comedy wrapped me up more than ever and this one show stood out to me more than any other shows I had watched before I instantly fell in love with Lucy’s character, she was strong and wasn’t afraid to wear what she wanted. I didn’t mind that she wasn’t as strong as the others, because hell, she was amazingly independent, smart and yet still one of the most relatable characters in the show especially because she herself knew that she wasn’t as strong but she didn’t let that get to her. She quickly became my favorite character. Then Natsu came in and I fell in love with his looks his strength and determination. He didn’t show off his strength like most shounen characters I had seen do. He became a character that again and again proved just how much he was willing to do for his friends. Enter in Gray, who quickly became also one of my favourites as he had sins that revolved around his past. I like that Mashima made his character relatable in terms of his ability and his past. Erza was also one of my favourites as she was maybe a bit overpowered but unlike where I see in other shounen where they refuse to make a strong woman, Fairy Tail came past those barriers and made this character who proved that even with her being strong she still had that feminine side to herself. Now I love all the characters but I can’t go in to all of them or else this would take forever. But some others include, Happy, Juvia, Levy, and Gajeel. 

The reason I am saying all this is because Fairy Tail is ending (obviously) and I really will miss it. It was one hell of a ride from start to finish. We went through so much all together. We went through ship wars, the break in between the anime and a lot of the “someone died and came back the next chapter” (Which I didn’t mind tbh cause Fairy Tail isn’t a tradegy shounen) and the nakama stuff which is the main reason I watched it. We went through Simon’s death, Igneel’s death and whole bunch of others. We laughed at the running gag between team Natsu and became defensive towards fairy tail hate. For the last chapter, I would really wish if people would put aside their differences, whether you ship, the big four, crack ships, het ships, homo ships, whether you imagine one character as a demi or another as an asexual, and enjoy this last time we’ll see these beautiful characters. I was everyone to admire how far we’ve come and stay strong about us staying in the fandom even after the end.This is the end of the journey for Fairy Tail but not for the fandom. I might sound a litte sappy right now but Fairy Tail has been a huge part of me growing up, I would never have made it without Fairy Tail. 

Last but not least, please never forget who made this possible, the person who dedicated himself to creating this beautiful journey. The person who made us laugh, made us cry, made us mad (sometimes xD) and more importantly the person who was with us the entire way of the journey no matter how late in to the fandom you came in. Never forget Hiro Mashima, just before the final chapter I wanted to thank Mashima for bringing Fairy Tail in to our lives and created this (^) a collab of every single Fairy Tail drawing/manga colouring I’ve done in to one big thank you. 

Thanks for the Journey Fairies and hopefully we’ll meet again!

P.S If you’ve read this entire post, thank you so much for doing that! If you didn’t that’s ok as well, but please read this part! 

I want people to spread this post around as a way to tell everyone that tomorrow when the final chapter does come out, we post a picture of us doing the Fairy Tail sign with the symbol drawn on our hand! Please spread this around!

#Fairy Tail #Important #nalu #natsu #bigfour #gajevy #gruvia #jerza #ft #lucy #natsudragneel #lucyheartfilia #juvialockser #juvia #gray #grayfullbuster #erza #erzascarlet #jellal #gajeel #levy #happy #carla #goodbyeft #goodbye fairy tail #ft spoilers #long post #journey #fairies #thank you

[beneaththetangles]

My Favorite J-Pop Artists Growing Up

It’s true, isn’t it? It seems as though we’re headed for a new century. It’s miraculous: This is something you can only taste once. Let’s remember one more time.

On the day we arrived on this Earth we were somehow happy, and somehow it hurt. We were crying wow yeah wow yeah wow wow yeah

Ayumi Hamasaki  – Evolution | Thanks to Lyrics Translate

Just as for many of us, music has been entwined with my life story. Being Cuban, my mother would play salsa, merengue, and other Spanish genres while cleaning or on the weekends. Juan Luis Guerra, Gilberto Santa Rosa, Celia Cruz (azucar!), Gloria Estefan, and others blasted through the windows every week. Michael Jackson and other pop artists of the time were mixed in for good measure. But even with these amazing musicians, my ear was more tuned to music from across the Pacific.

J-Pop (Japanese Pop music) appeared in my life as I slowly discovered it. I got a taste through anime and their catchy intro and ending songs, which is how I mainly started to hear different vocalists. Since I’m the type of person who will start digging to find out more, I searched the name of the artists, songs, and albums they released. It wasn’t easy to find these amazing vocalists as there was no Spotify, iTunes, or any other legal digital music platform at the time—I had to do Google searchs and look at websites that had mp3s to download, or software that no longer exists like Kazaam or Napster (oh yeah, I’m going way back!). One time I found and bought an Ayumi Hamasaki CD in a Virgin Records store in their foreign music section, which blew my mind. I bought it immediately and listened to it all the time, among a few other CDs I was able to find in Chinatown in New York City.

Music was beginning to get really foul with the rise of hip hop and pop music often being about drugs, sexual content, and other nonsense. J-Pop was more my style since it was like a secret nobody knew about, so I felt like the only one who was listening to it. I had all this music to myself, and when other people listened to it they were intrigued but also taken aback. How could I listen to music in another language that I didn’t understand? Yet, today K-Pop (Korean Pop) is blowing up in the USA and around the world and barely any of their fans speak Korean. I was ahead of my time!

The lyrics were also important, especially once I gave my life to Christ. I did not want to be listening to music that glorified values I don’t follow, but surprisingly most J-pop isn’t about the typical topics abounding in music today. Vocalists often sing about love, happiness, relationships, or feelings of wanting to push forward. This encouraged me to keep listening and reading the lyrics, which are often very poetic and inspiring.

As I found more artists, there were ones I enjoyed more than others, especially those that had more style to them. I’ve never been into a lot of slow music, so songs that are upbeat always caught my ear. Back then, a style that isn’t used much today was Eurobeat, which became very popular in Japan. Remixes were found in albums of various artists, especially in Dance Dance Revolution, the popular game by Konami which I still enjoy playing sometimes!

The anime series Initial D, based on the manga by Shuichi Shigeno, uses Eurobeat music regularly in its episodes during racing scenes between the characters, and because of this it has come to the attention of some anime fans outside Japan.

In 1998, Bemani, a branch of the video game company Konami, made a hit video dance machine, Dance Dance Revolution. The game acquired Eurobeat songs from the Dancemania compilation series from Toshiba EMI.

It’s funny, because today I don’t listen to as much J-pop or K-pop as I used to (I still listen to most of my old school favorites though!), but I listen to similar styles of music. For example, I really liked M-Flo, a Japanese hip hop duo who still make music today, and I’m a big Christian hip hop fan as well. I listen to a lot of this type of music while working out or driving, since it sounds great but lacks the content I don’t want to hear. Pop music and techno are still some of my favorite genres to listen to, also—Ayumi Hamasaki, Utada Hikaru, Megumi Hayashibara, and BoA, among others, attracted my ear to those sounds.

If you aren’t familiar with several of the artists I’ve mentioned so far, let me share with you some of my favorite songs, why I like that artist, and where you can find their music easily. I am a big user of Spotify, so I will be putting links to the artist page on their name.

Ayumi Hamasaki – Ayumi was the main J-pop artist I listened to back in the late 90s, early 2000s. She was and still is considered the Queen of J-pop since she rose to stardom so quickly. Her music is very catchy, and her voice is unique and featured in anime and video games. She has a pop phase and a rock phase, so there’s room for you whatever your flavor! Favorite songs: Evolution, M, Depend on you, And Then, Grateful Days, appears, INSPIRE, STEP you, Trauma

M-Flo – This duo was funny and cool because they would dress in stereotypical hip-hop fashion, but it was more of a parody to me. They were cool when hip-hop wasn’t in Japan at the time, so they are definitely pioneers in that genre. They would also mix their sound with techno/EDM tracks, especially in their recent BACKTOTHEFUTURE compilation album which I highly recommend. Favorite songs: come again, the Love Bug, miss you, REEEWIND!, prism (Carpainter Remix), been so long, Astrosexy, MAKE IT BREAK IT

BoA – A Korean singer who broke out in Japan, this girl is super fun and still makes lots of music today. Her earlier music is very happy and has tunes you can dance to, but she also has a grit that she brings with hip-hop or pop. Today she does more pop and is more popular, I believe, than she was before. Favorite songs: Double Jack, Green Light, Only One, White Wishes, VALENTI

Crystal Kay – Crystal is one of the most diverse J-pop artist because of her background. Her mother is Japanese and father African-American, she speaks English and Japanese, and her music varies from pop to emotional tunes. I discovered her after listening to the ED of Fullmetal Alchemist, “Motherland.” Favorite songs: Step by step, Motherland, REEWIND!, Summer fever, Can’t be stopped, REVOLUTION

Megumi Hayashibara – Though she hasn’t produced much music lately, Megumi was up there with Ayumi as one of my favorites. Her music was everywhere, in anime and also as a voice actress. Various songs were also used in AMVs when those were popular. Her lyrics are the most consistent and always have something positive to say. Favorite songs: Give a Reason, Infinity, Don’t be discouraged, Front Breaking, Exit Running, Just Be Conscious, Reflection, Revolution, Plenty of Grit, Lively Motion, Sakura Saku, Breeze, Northern Lights, Get Along,

Utada Hikaru – I could never leave out Utada, who is still today one of my favorites. Her recent song, “Face My Fears” from Kingdom Hearts III, was a huge hit, along with her other openings for the same series. She’s from NYC, where I am from (Brooklyn!), and was raised in Japan. Her songs are more emotional and touching, but she has some real good pop songs from her earlier work. Favorite songs: Simple and Clean, Passion, Traveling, Movin’on without you, Don’t Think Twice, Flavor Of Life, Automatic, Wait and See.

Notable Mentions: 

Kumi Koda – real Emotion, ORANGE RANGE – *Asterisk, Two-Mix – Just Communication, Field of View – Dan Dan Kokoro Hikareteku, and others I can’t remember…

As a Christian, I’m careful about what I listen, watch, read or entertain myself with. I’m glad that J-pop and now K-pop has lots of music that we can just enjoy and dance to.

What are some of your favorite J-pop artists or songs, past and present? Share below, I’m always looking for good music!

References:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eurobeat#Renaissance:_%22By_the_Italians,_for_the_Japanese%22

#Music #Anime #JPop #J Pop #KPop #K Pop #Ayumi Hamasaki #BoA #Crystal Kay #Megumi Hayashibara #Utada Hikaru #Hikaru Utada #m flo #Kumi Koda #ORANGE RANGE #Two Mix #Field View #Dance Dance Revolution #Gundam Wing #Articles #Author: Samuru

[ichiban-no-jammu]

RULES: Repost and answer the questions, then tag at least 3 of your followers :)

I was tagged by: @the-damnedest-creature​​ !! thank you!! //;;w;//

I’m not gonna tag that many peeps because I’m not solely a J-rock blog and not many people that follow me are solely J-rock blogs either I think hehe but um mebbe @romanesque-moon​​ and @severemagazinementality​​ idk ignore this if you don’t want to do it of course but we’re mutuals so yeh !! ;u; go for it if you feel like it, sorry for taggin out of the blue ///v// I have hardly any J-rock fan followers to be honest I think /;;   ;))/

anywaaaaaays ヽ・ω・*/ﾉ

1. When and how did you get into j-rock?

jokesss it was animu as usual ahahahaa I was already listening to J-pop at the time like Arashi and Yuki Kajiura I also liked Perfume by that point too, around.. 2012..? somewhere around there ;w; I was 13 years old.

I actually can't remember who my first J-rock band I ever heard was ;;u ; I listened to a lot of anime intros and found a couple of artists from there....   the first J-rock song I ever heard was probably SID's Monochrome no Kissu huhuhu but I didn't actually listen to SID after that.....  ting is is that I was painfully weeby at the time, the typically cringey child that would more listen to ... random american pop songs that I found on amvs, and all the classics like cascada's everytime we touch and the 'numa numa song' ,,...... //////v/// and I listened to a LOT of Vocaloid, all of it, I was obcessed, it’s literally all I would listen to for a year or so ﾉω`*)ﾉ  I also found a finnish rock band called Indica through an amv and even bought one of their albums ;u; my music taste was a crazy mix of stuff I'd just found on Youtube really... I loved The Midnight Beast (reppin from uk) and I still do, Lemon Demon too.... and I downloaded official soundtracks from anime like Pandora Hearts and D.Gray Man and listened to those as well. I was also a big fan of Yugioh the abridged series and would listen to yugioh song parodies LittleKuriboh made ;; u ;

Only a small part of my music library was J-rock and J-pop at the time... but I think the first band that caught my attention was Buck-Tick, after I watched the anime xxxHolic somewhere in 2012. Then after watching Shiki a little later I recognised the same voice and looked kuchizuke up and was jammin, and for some reason I watched an interview with Aachan before getting distracted by that one video that everyone has seen of T.M singing dress with him, and listening to ABS instead because I knew them from the theme song to D.Gray man ///u// it was only until summer 2013 until I really found out who Buck-Tick actually was, I listened to as many singles as I could find and I fell in love with them in less than 24 hours hehe ´｡• ᵕ •｡` I actually didn't like rock music at all before then, b-t were the group that introduced me to being a rock music fan even though I still didn't like heavier sounds, like Gazette that my friend was into. Sometime later that year I listened to L'arc en Ciel for the first time too, I think I read about them in a magazine or something.. I can't remember //w// ((I bought the 'stay away' single at may mcm in 2014, my first J-rock cd :3c)) I still listened to a lot of J-pop during 2013 and Arashi had begun to dominate my life, so I didn't really get properly into J-rock and visual kei until early 2014 when I started listening to ancafe, because I'd heard of them from cosplayers on deviantart who had them in their ID section under music interests, and then subsequently finding out they were touring in europe :3c I was more partial to oshare and lighter pop-punk things around that time.. early days was LM.C and Alice Nine and Royz after that....

Kind of a long and patchy story (wow it’s really long why did I write so much I’m so sorry it’s so boring) but there isn't necessarily an exact moment I started listening to J-rock... only in the last year or so have I let Vkei fully consume my life so... back then it was only a side interest for me among all the other things ˊ꒳ˋ  from 2014 onwards I just found more and more bands as well as listening to a lot of johnny's and J-pop stuffs... >w> and the rest is historyyyy

2. List your current most favorite band(s).

bakuchikuuuuu forever and ever every moment of my waking life alwaysss till I dieeee //w/// and Dog in the PWO >:3 two very contrasting groups to say the leest but I have a wide breadth of faves hehe ;;w; I fell in love with Doggu super quickly and have been following them ever since, I've known them for a year now and they are 100% in my top 5 favourite bands ever ;u ; dems are my two main faves as it is right now but there are too many others to list that I have a lot of feelings for /;;w;//

Currently I also like listening to Hakujitsu no Yume... Pentagon are my children.... Piglow in Gloomy are really amazing also ;w;;

3. How many j-rock concerts have you been to? (If you haven’t been to any, which band would you like to see the most in the future?)

not many becos I am a baby and I have never travelled out of my home country to raibus ;;v; my first ever was Ancafe in 2014, when I was a weeby mess, and most recently Versailles in January 2017 :3c inbetween I’ve seen VAMPS (and alexandros) at a shared live @ ‘Japan Night’ which was a lil concert organised by HyperJapan, a convention here in uk ..can I count bands that I’ve seen at Hyper too..? ;;w; I’ll just count Vaniru because they were aight while Yuto and Leoniel lasted as a couple heheh >w>> and I also went to SuG’s raibu in 2015~

so that makes 6 i guess.. I am a bebe ;;

//come on Merry where u at with this europe tour??//

there are so so so many bands I wanna see live, and I would go to a couple more lives in London here and there but I always get attached to groups that are very Japan-based and that are very unlikely to make any overseas appearances ;v; and I don’t wanna spend a lot of monies on bands that I don’t know as well that occasionally visit //3///

4. Which j-rock band do you think is the most underrated?

Daizystripper o´ω｀o   They used to be a more popular with western peeps but I think a lot of people stopped listening to them a while ago an might not even realise that they're still active and tings ;; v; their debut with Victor might make it a little difficult for international fans though eheh but I wish they still had the support they seemed to have~ so many good jams ;  u ;

And everyone from Planet Child Music records needs more recognition and to be invited to more events ///u//

5. Which j-rock band do you think is the most overrated?

If I had to I'd say Vamps hhhhuu I thought that they were v good up until recently ;;w; I dunno I feel like the couple of newer songs have lost their power and originality... and no matter what I'll always think L'arc are infinitely better but some people think not //vv/// Vamps are always over here and in other countries too, whereas L'arc I feel are neglected a lot with world tours and overseas promotion and stuff when they deserve more love than vamps ;3; I mean.. 25 years going strong //u/ why dis Hyde come back to uk without vamps this time hhhh

6. Who is your ultimate bias in j-rock? Optionally: Post your most favorite picture(s) of them.

ahhhhh .. Aachan got me from the start ;; ﾉﾉ*ФωФ ;;ﾉﾉ ﾉﾉ                            

7. What is your most treasured j-rock related memory?

Um.. not that much has happened to me personally that I can really mention hehe >w>

Hizaki calling me cute at Hyper's meet & greet last year was probably the best thing that's acc happened to me ;;;;w;;;;;; It was the end of the day and I looked like a wreck, Hizaki saw me as I came up for cheki and said 'kawaii~' ////w// best memory heckk I mean Hizaki---- being called cute by Hizaki ;;;;;u; why dis I do not deserve (and obvs taking cheki with him was part of that good memory too >w>)

An Cafe was my first live, and I'll always remember that my one of my favourite singles is 'My heart leaps for 'C'' and when they played it after the encore I went insane hehe ;;; u ; that was a treasured moment for me because it was kind of surreal like 'oh wow a band that I love is playing one of my favourite songs is this real??' and ... since I was an hyperactive 15 year-old that moment just made me really excited ;v; I was singing along (horribly) to every lyric and bouncing up and down like crazy and I would not let that feeling go for a while //w/ ah to be young again ~~

But SuG is probably the best raibu memory ever ever. they played a very very small venue in London and it was literally the most intimate thing imaginable, you could touch everyone and Takecchi almost hit his head a few times on the lights above him ;;u; and even though I was in like, three rows of people away from the front, Chiyu's hand grazed mine for a second and that was the most special moment ;;w; Shinpei leaned into the audience for a group hug and Yuji and Chiyu were high-fiving and ruffling people's hair ///;w;/ it was such a long farewell with everyone touching hands and patting heads and it felt so nice and close, I thought we were really lucky to get such an intimate show ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄  

8. How do you support and enjoy j-rock the most? Buying CDs? Going to lives? Just full on going to Japan for it?

I buy Cd's if I can for bando that I really love and want to support, and at lives I buy at least one peice of merch every time too :3c and I'm trying to get into a habit of buying Cure if bands I like are featured >u> I accidentally end up following e v e r y o n e on twitter and just scroll thru liking posts if that counts as 'support' ? :'3

9. How does your family feel about this hobby of yours?  

My parents don't really mind, I end up showing my mama photos and videos and she understands my hype at everyone I think hehe, and I play cd's often so my parents hear J-rock a lot but don't complain~ we all have our own music collections now it’s so cute 〃▽〃 I talk about J-rock a lot like, I just ramble on mostly to myself because I have no-one else to talk to in the house so ;;u; my parents don't really listen that closely but ye, they don't mind and they're glad I'm into something different I guess :'3c

10.What is the craziest j-rock fandom story that you have?

idk what j-rock 'fandom' story means exactly,,, like, you heard the story from the fandom or the story is about the actual fandom itself..? ;;w; well actually I guess this is both haha this is the only story that I have worth telling and I only heard it a couple weeks ago but ;//u.//

A friend of a friend has connections with Mejibray’s MiA, and he messages her and lots of other peeps I’d imagine as MiA prob does~ and on one occasion MiA was sent a cute little (I say little but) Intimate Image that the 1 and only Yohio took of his peen and decided to share it around so other people could enjoy it obvs >>>ww.>> and he sent it to said friend, nice one >;3ccc thank u for showing me too I feel very privileged, too many bants I was dying ahh ..//www//// why dis MiA why dis......... poor Yohio ;; v; u don’t need to send dick pics to impress your senpai, kids ;;  /////; poor little child ;u;;

---yyyyeee I’m so boring das literally all I have apart from the most mediocre things like being jealous of people that get to go to meet&greets and have fun encounters and peeps that actually manage to catch picks at lives etc //u..../// 

Thank you for reading ♡

#j-rock #visual kei #tag #I really went to town with this #many gomens #u don't have to read it #just scroll past really fast #it's jus a mess of awkward words and kaomoji