How you go from harry styles to hockey I will never understand.
I was going to make a little joke, as I do, (would have been v hilarious, best joke ever pls know this) and leave it at that. But like, it's been raining for over 24 hours, it's 2am and it might be good for me to reflect a little.. So sorry anon I am going emote all over your ask (which (the ask) sounds a bit judgey tbh but the written word is NOT a great conveyor of tone so that might be on me.)
On one hand it's just fandom. And, I think it's been pretty clear that as much as I love Henry Stars, I'm not like, a 'Harry is the be all and end all of all music creation and creativity and actions.' I like him for the good and the bad, and I don't leave critical thinking at the door. (Not saying I'm the only person to do this, just that it's hard sometimes in fan spaces and Stans definitely do..)
Which, can make it hard to participate in fandom as a lot of people are not great at irony, or accepting that someone else can say, god damn that is a terrible song - and that it's okay for that to happen. It doesn't mean that the person who expressed the neg opinion is not still a fan of the artist they were speaking about. Same with if the artist you are a fan of does something that gives you the ick.
I def learnt this when Harry went to Google Camp the first time. Like obviously I've been around 1d fandom in some way since 2012 ish I think it was - and it was my own reaction to Harry going to Camp Douchebags the first time that made me go, oh jeez Silv, you are a bit too involved in the parasocial relationship here. Like I was genuinely upset that he'd done something I thought was so dumb and wanky.
Anyway, clearly I still loved - love - him and I celebrated him and spent a fuckload of money on him and engaged in fandom and etc etc. But I just did at that point I think turn a little from heading in a very blinkers on version of fandom to one that's def more me - where you just get to have fun, make fun be creative, make friends! and have a bit of a perv depending on the silk cream vanilla ice cream outfit Harry might be wearing in Nashville.
I like RPF. I mean I like all transformative works and fandom extending and enhancing source material via creation, but I don't have an issue with RPF. I believe in 4th wall. And I clearly have written 1d fic. A lot of my good fandom mates, and real life best friend(s) are people I have met through sharing a love of writing in fandom spaces. Obviously all the best writers in 1d went to Hockey. And I stayed here. And I tried. I wanted to be where my friends where. I had fomo and I was lonely! My fandom had changed in a few ways all around the same time.
But Hockey is very confusing, (for starters as I often say to Angela or Joanna, snow is fake) and nothing clicked for me - it seemed large and I had no idea where to even start and I didn't really try.
But I think the change in some fandom fellow participants, and also anons being mean when they would get even a glimpse in their peripheral that I might have vaguely indicated that Henry did something that I thought was dumb or embarrassing, or just not that good, (it's no fun sharing a thought and feeling chatty about it, and wanting to engage with other people's thoughts if some random is going to anonymously tell you that you are a dumb c*nt and should delete etc etc so I stopped sharing any thoughts at all.) Of course Nick leaving breakfast and then R1 altogether - as well as obviously my whole life narrowing to a point that was just tend Mama- work - tend mama - work - tend mama - sleep - grow a tumour - tend mama left me not so much time for proper joyful engagement.
And then, in Jan/Feb this year, I think as I'd been looking at book reviews and as soon as you search for a book on tik tok they push book tok romance reviews into your feed and I think then that pushed an actual hockey clip (which is a really shite 4th wall issue as is the whole Kraken thing etc) and I can't even remember what it was but I know I then swiped through and watched other videos on the account and like 1d being adorable shites repeating stock answers and sitting on top of each other I was intrigued by what seemed to be very dumb and very entertaining.
But Silv, you cry, what about the emotions! You need emotions! Ah, yes, see, because I am nothing but devoted I had followed Angela and La's hockey blogs, and something La posted grabbed my attention and I followed a link and read an article and I was like. Oh, I want to read more about these kids. So I did. And after a little while I reached out to La and was like, um, I think I get it. And I posted something about the Fantilli Bros and then Max reached out and tbh I don't think anything says it better than my wide eyed enthusiasm reply. (You are probably by now thinking, Silv why is your answer to Max so short, why didn't I just get a paragraph? This is an endless essay with no conclusion or indeed a thesis statement, (that is if you have even made it down to here) & anon I can only apologise.)
I am really enjoying learning so many new things, being welcomed into a new space of connection and joy and silliness and emotional breakdowns. It's been so lovely to meet new people who are so excited to share their niche interest with you and no one minds how many questions I have and everyone searches out Primera and Important Past Instagram Posts from the archives - and of course reconnecting with people who I have always been friends with, fandom changes didn't change that, but it's delightful chatting much more often. The other day Angela and I watched an Avs game together via Tumblr chats, which was delightful, to learn about the team and to talk about random other things, and I've spent my last month of Saturdays watching umich with lovely people who La introduced me to, and having MANY EMOTIONS. (It's like hanging out all posting about a show's fits and one liners and if he's going to sing medicine but it's many pantomime gooseberrys. The performative homoeroticisim, wild hair, jokes, punching (only now during not pre show work outs ) and very goddamn impressive skill and physicality is actually pretty similar). Meghan and I have been able to chat through our very similar horrible experiences with cancer and mums with cancer and it's been so lovely and strengthening to be able to share that experience with a person who beyond gets it, and then also I've been able to announce to her that I want to write a fic about 5 ways Nolan saw god with the UMich Bible Study Group but didn't find faith. which is obviously a completely ridiculous concept but equally worthy of discussion. It's this that I love so much about fandom friendship - you share SO much because you are sharing something that gives you intimate joy, so the relationship always starts from a place of an automatic mutual understanding and empathy - and from there we make it our own.
But also, I really like the game. Like I love watching them play, all of them! It's fast (obviously - and oblig have to say - ice is slippery) and it's hard - and they make it look easy. When one of the special players (they are all special, but one of the ones who play almost with innate ability) makes a pass or a turn sometimes it's almost almost magic, like how the fuck did they see that gap between four players, and did you see how they kept the puck a moment longer so they could release it perfectly into the lane !! Hot.
The game can be all encompassing and it's SO SO SO silly. Like it's the dumbest sport. It's The Show. I'll put on ESPN and stream a match while I'm working during the day (the time difference is perfect for once) and I'm spending time cos I want to, learning the rules and the logistics and business side of it all. And of course, the differences between college hockey and the show. Idk. It just clicked on so many levels for me.
And so, I have no idea why it took me so long to transition from Henry to Hockey, but I am not surprised I did now that I have - it def wasn't something that I was bloody expecting. And Anon I will say this, the last few years of my life have been sad, hard, and tbh shitty. Now, I know what it's like to have fucked years, so I am not saying this to try to be and show off but 2024 feels a bit better. I feel clearer, I have started to lose some weight (15ish kg so far depending on the time of the month) and now I have a meeting w a PT on Tuesday as I actually don't care what I weigh but I want to get stronger and reduce my visceral fat as it will be better for hormones which is better for lessening my cancer reoccurrence %.
God knows it's (2024) not all roses, I literally had surgery again a fortnight ago and the cost of living in Sydney is giving me so much anxiety. I am still a terribly disorganised mess, my work is undergoing a complete restructure (thanks NSW gmnt) and my clean washing is NEVER folded and put away, it's always in the basket - but I feel so happy and entertained and creative - I am writing again! like it's joy. It's ye olde you are who you are at this moment but you are also the 4 year old you and the 15, 27, 34 year old you - girlhood (non gendered concept of not literal interpretation) and I love it. 💛🩵🌱
25 notes
·
View notes
Could I ask for some fluff of a Hank x Reader x 2BDamned? If that's okay, please!
Hello! Of course you can! Here you go!
Poly 2BHank x Reader Fluff
I would say that the both of them are rather busy people, so you won’t be spending too much time together. It’s not like they can make too much time for each other either, though. However, they’ll try. It’s fairly risky for everyone involved, especially for you. If you’re not part of S.Q. then you’ll likely become the target of some attack if you’re seen with Doc. If you’re seen with Hank, if people can tell you’re affiliated with him, then they’ll attack you as well. So really, you’ll be at a disadvantage either way. However, it’s not like either of them feel like going out too much with you. Yes, Hank will want to get some hot dogs with you at some point since he does like those, but after a mission he’s usually torn as a rag and just wants to sleep. Doc is well aware of the dangers he poses towards your wellbeing, so he actively chooses to not go out with you too much either. However, that doesn’t mean that the three of you can’t be lovey dovey at home. It’s very rare to see Hank and Doc cuddle properly with each other, but it happens. Neither of them are touchy people, but sometimes you just desire the touch of a loved one, so you might catch Hank sitting on the floor next to Doc from time to time, his head in his lap. Hank could fall asleep like this too, actually, but he wants to protect you and Doc, so he usually doesn’t. Doc sometimes has a hand on Hank’s shoulder and gently rubs it to show he’s there for him, but he needs his other hand to go through files. If you join Hank on his endeavours, cuddling up to Doc yourself, then the grunt will sigh in feign annoyance and get away from his work for some time to give the two of you some attention. You can get him to settle down for the night like this as well, but he will only begrudgingly do so. 2B may not be the cuddliest person out there, and neither is Hank, but he does enjoy some physical touch from time to time. You will likely switch it up when it comes to cuddling. While you may be the little spoon now, chances are you’ll be the big spoon next time. 2B and Hank are versatile like that. While Hank may prefer holding someone as he falls asleep, if he’s not headed to bed then he can go either way.
Although it’s rare for Hank to show his softer side, he will do so for you and Doc only. Sometimes he’ll come back from a mission, bloody and almost entirely disassembled, holding a few flowers he found. Maybe even a nice scarf or a cool weapon. Despite being a very confident grunt, he knows he can easily protect you, he does believe that you having a weapon yourself would help you with defending yourself. Sometimes he’ll get you a nice katana, one like he has. Other times you can expect a rocket launcher or chainsaw from him as well. His metaphorical tail starts wagging whenever either you or Doc accept his gifts and thank him. He did a good job on this one, you will be safe and sound from here on out. Give him a nice pat, either on his arm or head, and he’ll happily grunt away. Doc pats Hank from time to time and Hank absolutely loves it. However, only you and Doc are allowed to do that, anyone else will be dealt with immediately. Hank definitely doesn’t mind being treated like a dog from time to time. If he’s in a good mood you can call him a good boy and put his face in your hands, he eats that right up. Be enthusiastic about it as well and he’ll lightly headbutt you. Don’t get mad at him for doing so, he doesn’t know what to do with these positive emotions, so he goes straight for gentle violence again.
Going on dates with the two of them mostly consists of something simple. Doc usually suggests Burger Gil’s since no one cares that Hank is there. People are there for the food, not to get mauled by Hank, so they usually leave you alone. Sometimes the three of you go to take a look at the red sun on a cliff as well, though, and reminisce about the better times. Hank still remembers the greenery that used to be in Nevada. He doesn’t remember it well since he doesn’t miss it in the slightest, but he’s lived a good chunk of his life surrounded by plants. Doc barely remembers them, but he still thinks back on them fondly. While neither of the two of them may be sentimental people, they do like discussing the past. There’s always something new to be learned about each other. There’s this unspoken trust between the three of you, so you know each other better than anyone else. For example, you know that Hank likes being picked up, even if he’s far too tall and heavy for that these days. Sometimes you pretend to try and pick him up just to make him feel good. One fact you’ve learned about Doc is that he sometimes, when you and Hank are asleep, likes to hold one hand of each of you. Sometimes he can’t sleep well, or at all, so he opts to spend that time resting from time to time. He won’t particularly go all out in holding you since he doesn’t wanna risk waking you, you’re both extremely tired, after all, but he does like holding your hands, sometimes playing with your fingers as well. He denies this, but you both know it happens. Sometimes Hank makes fun of Doc for it in his usual demeanour, but he secretly loves it. Hank’s favourite activity aside from killing and maiming is helping you and Doc out with whatever you need, even if it’s just holding the wrench. Doc loves showing you his creations. While he knows you likely won’t understand a word he’s saying, he explains them to you anyway. Besides, if he’s made a mistake thinking it over, then he’s more likely to find it while talking. Besides, he gets to spend time with you, what else could he possibly want?
24 notes
·
View notes
hey i just want to say that i agree with you i love the hardy boys show on hulu and JB cox is my favorite character and i really did not like it or love the fact that he died/got killed i cried so bad it was so sad and i was so pissed and mad hoping and wishing that it was a joke and a fake out and that he'd be ok and alive in the end and get a happy ending but i was wrong also i do desperately wish that were more fanfics out there for jb or with him and joe's friendship it's so underrated fandom wise come on people in the fanbase where are you at?! please write more fics/storys like that's all i want especially since it ends with my favorite character dying
Omg, nonnie, yes!! 😭😭😭 completely agree!! Honestly, I think if the show ever got a continuation, he would SO be back. Pretty sure he was a fan favorite, and fan favorites have been getting more love lately, I feel. 🥺
Cause it seems like a fake out right??? Or maybe he was going to die but the ambulance came in time? I’m really not sure if anyone got word from police or the hospital on what happened to JB. Just Frank’s call? (Maybe I’m wrong???)
So he could have totally gotten away with a fake name or something else after being admitted.
I don’t know if that lessens the plot or anything cause the story was ultimately about moving on and loss, but for real I just don’t see why he would have to die for that. 😭
He was such a good big brother to Joey. 🥺 If I muster up the time and energy, I’ll definitely keep them in mind for my art! ❤️
2 notes
·
View notes
did you do anything special or get any good gifts for your bday?
Oh!
Hello there, sweet anon. c:
This was such a cute thing to see today! It was my birthday — thank you for noticing!
I did receive lots of neat things, and I’d be so happy to share my birthday joy with you. ♡
So I will show you my two favorite gifts, and they come from the same person! It is someone I’m very fond of.
I collect Disney Princess porcelain figurines so I was really excited to see these!
Aren’t they beautiful?? Just look at their glittery dresses! ♡
I wish I had such a pretty princess gown! Imagine how amazing it would feel to twirl around in one hehe. ♡ ♡
The second gift is a perfume I thought had a pretty scent! I was genuinely surprised they’d actually remembered I’d said that. :’)
I was surprised they had remembered any of the things I’ve said, and grateful to have anything at all honestly! ♡
‘Cause no matter what the gift might be . . . giving means that someone cares, and I think caring is the best gift of all. :D
Thank you again for the ask! I truly hope that this month has been treating you well, and that you’re happy and healthy!
Warmest hugs and many well-wishes for you! Please take care, and all the best ~ ! XO
♡ ✧ ⋆🧁 ⊹ 。.:* 🌸 🤍
3 notes
·
View notes