#I wanted to try out a different paneling style for this one - sorry I'm a day late! (there will still be a post tomorrow to keep on track) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wigglesdtuff · 6 months

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Hi sorry for sending another ask but I found out I'm super close to the TimeSkip (from one Robin lover to the other robin lover) and I seriously (i did theres no hiding it) wanted to burst into tears when I saw robin (and ussop- he made me upset to) please tell me how to get used to it or if I'll get used to it :,(

Oh you have come to the right place for I dearly love her timeskip design. It was admittedly jarring in the anime (the style shift alone is jarring. The manga eases you in more as the style is still consistent) and it did take me a little while to get used to her new design, but the more I thought about it and the more we see her interact it settled in and made me fall even further in love tbh. A lot of it comes from the skin color (for everyone really), the colors the anime veers toward and the lighting for a big stretch is just. Not great. The skin color has been discussed ad nauseum at this point, so I'm not touching on that. You can see where I stand on that with the way I color her. NOW. I will ramble. I will try not to spoil.

The big thing is her lack of bangs. Bangs are so cute we love her old look, no one is saying they don't. However. To me it is a really great bit of visual storytelling. She is quite literally healing from her past. Her face is softer, less harsh, and she isn't trying to cover anything up anymore. She's no longer wearing the same hairstyle she did since she was frozen at 8 years old. She's let it grow out! Quite literally she is a new person since Luffy saved her life.

Fishman Island alone shows just how comfortable she is. Robin is often shown in the background in a lot of panels or scenes just smiling with a 💬 because she's just. Content and enjoying observing the Straw Hats after those two years apart.

Her hair is so cute to me because it's actually slightly different each arc post TS, as if she's purposefully trying out new styles. Nami does this too, and to me it really helps cement that time is passing and they're not just wearing the same outfit day in and day out.

The biggest thing to me is her willingness to openly emote. It is very VERY clear that she is being influenced by the rest of the crew, and it's very endearing. She has always been silly, but she's had to lock that part of her away because she's been isolated and hunted like a dog. She's safe now and she knows it! In short, Post Timeskip Robin is this poor 30 year old finally getting to be herself, and besides just being gorgeous, I think that freedom to be what she wants instead of masking or hiding is beautiful!

In summary: Yes it's an adjustment and no it's not for everyone, and admittedly the anime style (from Fishman Island up until Wano) gets pretty bad especially with women, HOWEVER, it's good visual storytelling to show just how much Luffy has actually changed her life for the better.

I'll reblog with some more photos I'm only allowed 10.

#one piece #nico robin #wtt asks #i love post timeskip robin so so much

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riririnnnn · 3 months

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Warning: Anime Spoilers.

I think about this panel a lot:

And this one too:

I don't understand why people think that Sae changed after Spain. I mean, that boy has always been blunt and rude. After calling Rin incredible the day the younger Itoshi barged into his soccer match, Sae never actually praised Rin; that boy literally said, "If it's you, then you can be the best after me." He had always criticised Rin's play/goals and was never really like, "Ooh, my cute patootie lil otouto."

Also, this:

Imagine coming back home after 4 years, and your little brother accuses you of changing. Further, this was the first time, when Rin talked back to his Nii-chan; we need to get Sae's perspective of this flashback too.

Sae literally had his suitcase with him when he came to that field; that boy's ass landed and the first thing he did is to go to his little brother.

And:

Of course, Sae would bet like this. Rin himself said, "Nii-chan doesn't like losing." Also, is that just drawing style or those are eyebags/dark circles under Sae's eyes? And Rin literally pointed out, "Have you lost weight?" It's clearly visible that whatever happened in Spain, Sae wasn't in his happiest state.

It also wasn't like Sae jumped onto Rin on sight. The older Itoshi had tried to explain how different is the world stage and lalalalala, it was Rin himself who was acting naïve and immature, and didn't give Sae proper time to explain himself.

But this:

I agree is really harsh, but if we take in account of the fact that Sae has been a rude person from the start, then what he said isn't really wrong. Rin's inner monologue was literally, "Can I be cool like Nii-chan too?" when he barged into the soccer match.

It isn't/wasn't completely Sae's fault for Rin to idolise him.

Also, I don't blame Sae for hating Japan's soccer/football (whatever you call it) because imagine being treated as a nation's treasure at the age of 13 years old, only to find that you ain't shit in the world (as pointed out by Sendou, Sae is only a reserve in Royale Madrid/Re Al).

To sum everything up, I do think that Sae got a really harsh slap from reality in Spain, and he really didn't want Rin to go through the same. That's why he tried to explain Rin about everything only to realise that Rin's main aim was never to be the best striker in the world, it was just to be with his Nii-chan, and it irked Sae. After whatever happened in Spain, Sae must've made some kind of safe place in Rin that he could see his dream come true through his younger brother, but Rin wasn't heading to that direction especially when he couldn't even defeat Sae and there are, as stated by Sae himself, better player in the whole world than him— must've been a hard hit for Sae to know that his dreams have really ended; maybe that's why he was so interested in Blue Lock? He could finally see someone who could make his dream be true after all; maybe that's why he is so obsessed with passing to the best striker in world (I'm referring to his wish to make the best pass to the best striker in the world if it were to be his last day on Earth) because he is seeing his own dream in that person.

This post might seem jumbled and it is jumbled, but it's my first time trying to make some kind of theory, so please be kind.

Edit: Sae isn't a reserve in Royale Madri/Re Al. He is a second division player. Sorry, I misread some things.

#blue lock #bllk #itoshi rin #itoshi sae #blue lock theory #bllk theory #idk how tags work #雪 ranting

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sacchiri · 2 months

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I recently bought the jp volumes of Hellsing along with the guidebook, and since I'm reading the series in its native language for the first time I might as well share some random things that stood out to me in no particular order.

This isn't meant to be an analysis of translation differences, I'm too lazy for that. Also it's been 12 years since I've watched the anime and read the low quality fan scans of the manga so some of these comments are just "Lol, forgot this was a thing"

Volume 1

... I really want to know who this guy is at the beginning, yelling at Alucard in overly familiar language to "Get your shit together!" and "You're the only one we can count on!!". We know from the style of speech that it's a dude, probably just some Hellsing rando, and maybe it's not all that strange since he has probably been working with the same soldiers for years--but it's still funny.

"I know, it's just so nice out :("

..The way "HELLSING Organization" is spelled out like this reminds me that apparently the name is supposed to be an acronym. No really.

...

God they're so silly.

Now that I think about it, the only thing Seras has done this chapter since being turned into a vampire is say "I'm sorry" over and over.... girl you got shot in the lung, why are you apologizing

Not a huge difference, but what Integra actually says here is "Leaving a corpse here for 20 years... You're a terrible person too, Father" and not "What were you thinking, Father?" as the Dark Horse translation suggests (note the lack of question mark in the raw version). I thought that might be of interest to some.

Something else I thought was interesting is the first line Alucard ever says to Integra, and how uncharacteristically polite he sounds.

O-kega wa gozaimasenka- That's two honorific 御's back to back! (He even said them in kanji, even Walter isn’t that straightlaced and he’s literally the butler.) This is also the only time Alucard uses this overly flowery gentlemanly language with her, and good thing too because it would be so annoying if he spent the whole manga ending his sentences with ~gozaimasu.

What I'm trying to get at is, after seeing this sentence in the Japanese version, I'm like 100% sure he actually heard her when she was mumbling to herself about hoping to find a knight in shining armor, and he was totally going the extra mile in playing into that role for their first encounter. Which is kind of sweet.

Lol they misspelled Alucard on the top left... or rather, they incorrectly spelled it right?

One would normally expect Alucard to be written アルカード, and indeed pixiv dict lists アーカード as a misspelling (the u sound is weak in Japanese, so it's easy to mishear arukādo as ākādo). Hirano was definitely aware of the correct spelling though, since he used it in the pilot chapter and in his old character sheets. It was only when the manga officially began that he switched to the アーカード spelling. I doubt it was because of copyright issues because there is already a long precedent of vampire characters named アルカード in various old manga, OVA, and games in Japan that have coexisted without issue (like this guy Hirano mentions in volume 1's afterword).

Most likely Hirano simply thought it looked better, or was a means of differentiating his character from the others somehow. It certainly makes life easier for Japanese fans searching for fanart since アーカード is only going to bring up Hellsing and not the Castlevania character.

Jan Valentine even pokes fun at the spelling discrepancy later in volume 2, but since there wasn't a good way of expressing this in English it was left untranslated.

(Speaking of spelling inconsistencies, there's a lot of minor details I'm noticing now, like half the time the furigana for 吸血鬼 is written バンパイア and the other half it's ヴァンパイア... anyway)

Um, just noticed literally everyone's wearing glasses What should I do

Hirano's habit of jotting random comments underneath his panels is one of the underrated perks of reading the manga

The Dark Horse translation almost makes it sound like she's looking forward to seeing this battle play out, while in the Japanese she simply sounds apprehensive. Almost as if she's worried about them? And she's going out on the field personally to make sure nothing bad happens? Aww

Ok this is a weird tangent, but I just noticed the scans of the Dark Horse version I've been looking at use a slightly larger image range than the Japanese version does. It was only noticeable when I got to this part:

The second image is what the Japanese version of the scan looks like and I can confirm that this is what it looks like in my physical volume as well. You shouldn't be seeing the messy borders of the inking on the bottom like that.

Manga manuscripts are set up so that there are a few millimeters of bleed border around each page. You're supposed to color and line all the way up to (4) while keeping in mind that printing and paper cutting may result in the image being trimmed up to (3).

Either Hirano didn't color his lines all the way to (4) (this man has been drawing manga for years but this is Hirano we're talking about so it's very possible), or Dark Horse didn't honor the original bleed borders of the manuscript. I'm kind of leaning towards the former since there was a Hellsing exhibit in Japan a few years back where you could look at Hirano's original manuscripts and there's one where you can clearly see that he spilled a mug of tea or coffee across the entire page

Anyway, it's weird, and I'm curious to see if someone that owns a physical copy in English can confirm whether theirs actually looks like that. It's volume 1, page 141.

#hellsing #integra hellsing #alucard #seras victoria #i'm too lazy to do this for all the volumes #unless someone REALLY wants to see them for some reason but i doubt it

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watermelonsugacry · 1 year

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Oooo what about bandmember and The Weeknd Grammy performance to save your tears and Harry’s there. I need a harry and Abel meeting. ilysm girl

ok so YN and Abel first met in late 2016.

She was in a recording studio in LA after finishing up a session with another artist. On her way out, she saw fellow producer Ali Payami. Besides formally being in the most famous band to date, YN was getting more and more recognized for her producing skills.

So after extending a hand out to help the producer in need, she's then introduced to Abel. They vaguely knew each other from commercial success but they actually spent a good hour or so just talking and getting to know one another—she's a firm believer in getting to know the artist behind the music before working with them.

Conversation came easy and a friendship was effortlessly formed as they bonded over their love for music, producing, and knowing how to speak in different languages.

Not long after, she's shown the song he had been working on before he got stuck. And she goes back to her roots: harmonies.

With a suggestion and demonstration of harmonizing with his vocals in his verse:

When I get you moaning you know it's real Can you feel the pressure between your hips? I'll make it feel like the first time

she finds herself in the recording booth laying down vocals for her own verse and chorus for the song.

The two had so much fun making music together that over the next few years, they made three more songs together: Off The Table, Save Your Tears, and You Right.

Harry has only seen Abel a small hand full of times in person. The first time the two met was during the recording of Off The Table back in 2019.

Harry had just taken his keys out of the front door of YN's home to find the open space absent of her presence. He did get there an hour earlier than he initially told her for a nice surprise after she's had a long day in the studio working on her album.

He walks all around her house in search of her and doesn't spot her in her usual spots: living room, at home gym, her bedroom. Suspecting she still must be working, he takes the small walk to her connected guest house she converted into a home studio.

A fond smile tugs itself on his lips at the sound of her laughing but a crease quickly forms in between his eyebrows at the sound of another man's laugh. He knocks on the glass door before entering to find YN in front of the large studio panel with The Weeknd sitting on his own swivel chair beside her.

YN doesn't invite just anyone to her home studio. Aside from Harry and Lizzo, no other artist has recorded in her sacred space.

"Hey b-Harry," YN smiles at her secret boyfriend, pleasantly surprised to have him home earlier than expected.

"Oh shit," Abel laughs in disbelief with a fist in front of his smile. "You're Harry Styles."

"What the 'ell, you didn't seem that excited when yeh first met me," She playfully scoffs.

"You weren't as cool then," Abel teases, making her laugh and Harry's chest burn. Putting on his media-trained persona, Harry takes the artist's outreached hand in a firm handshake, "I'm Abel. Nice you, man."

"M'Harry," He smiles a closed-lipped smile and YN bites one back as she immediately sees through her love's front. "Sorry, am I interrupting something?" Harry asks, the skin on his arms beginning to tingle from not having her in them yet.

"Not at a—"

"Actually," She interrupts Abel and looks to Harry with an amused smile. "We were in the middle of something. If yeh don't mind waiting another half hour or so, we should be wrapping up soon," She advises, making it seem like Harry was there for a recording session rather than anything else.

It really takes everything in her to stifle her giggle at the sight of her boyfriend trying his hardest to keep his front up, knowing full well how much he wants her to be in his arms, pressing her lips to his so lovingly, and having a cuddle.

"Not at all," Harry nods when every fiber of his being is telling him to throw her over his shoulder and ditch the other artist who's taking up her time instead of being with him. "But do you mind if I talk with yeh for a quick sec?" He nods his head over to the other room.

He grows even more frustrated when she hums in contemplation before scrunching up her nose, "Can it wait? M'working."

Harry takes a glance at Abel who's sitting there completely oblivious, clearly not fighting against spending time in the studio with his close friend.

"Of course," He reassures with a smile that YN can quickly tell is forced. "Nice meeting you, Abel."

"Same here, man."

And with that, he's softly closing the glass door behind him when he really just wants to slam it shut.

He waits an hour and a half before Abel finally leaves. Once she comes back into her home after walking him out, she's quickly pressed up against her door by her boyfriend pressing his mouth feverishly to hers.

"Why are yeh laughing?" He asks against her mouth. "There's nothing funny."

"You," She holds onto his cheeks, pulling him back so she can finally get a breath in, "You're cute."

He's quickly attaching his mouth to her neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses at the spot her neck and shoulder meet and she hums happily. He makes his way back up her neck, her jawline, and back to her mouth.

"Missed you," He says, his hand already crawling and dipping into the front of her shorts to where she craves him. She gasps against his mouth, titling her back to thump against the door but since he towers over her, he keeps his lips ghosting over hers.

"I missed you," She pants as he keeps his body pressed against hers. She whimpers when she feels his fingers dip and curl up into her.

"You missed me?" He taunts, his hand only picking up speed. His dimples dig into his cheeks when she nods meekly, her hand quickly gripping onto his wrist. It's moments like these where he basks in the way that behind closed doors, he can make this headstrong, stubborn girl turn into putty in his hands. He even contemplates edging her, leaving her high and dry, and having her wait the same amount of time she did to him.

But the satisfaction of having her writing against him, panting and moaning his name, knowing exactly how to make her feel good, and knowing that he's the only one that can make her feel like this is just too perfect.

"Then show me," He bites at her bottom lip, his own eyebrows furrowing with passion as he watches her tip over the edge.

So needless to say, whenever she and Abel get together—whether it be through making music, meeting up through awards shows, or going to see one another at their shows—Harry gets undoubtedly possessive and jealous. He knows that bottom line, the two are good friends and that she's allowed to be close with people other than him, but he can't help it. Especially now that there's no more hiding and sneaking around since their relationship went unexpectedly public on New Years 2020.

And even after her six-year friendship with the other artist, he still can't shake off the uncomfortable twist in his stomach at the sight of them on stage. Especially her surprise Save Your Tears duet performance at the 2021 iHeart Music Awards.

There's no denying that she looks absolutely gorgeous when she comes out on stage in her plum-colored satin outfit, posing with a jut of her hip and singing so effortlessly as the crowd screams out in a mix of excitement and disbelief. The stage is truly her happy place and it shows as she performs; like everyone else watching, he's excaptivated by her.

So much so, that he almost misses the way that when she sings:

And you deserve someone better

Abel points to her and then himself.

So can he be blamed when he stays extra quiet when he meets her back in her dressing room?

"And it was just so cool to hear the crowd scream like that," YN giggles as she removes her necklaces to place on the vanity.

"You deserve it, lovie. It shouldn't come as a surprise at this point," He looks at her so fondly from his seat on the leather couch.

"I honestly wasn't expectin' that type of reaction but it was..." She takes a second glance through the mirror at her love. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see how supportive Harry is to his girlfriend, being with her any way he can and exuding a love for her that is truly unmatched.

But it does take his best friend of 11 years to see that something is up.

She walks the short distance over to him and cups his jaw in her hands and has his gaze meet hers, "Hey."

"Hi," He muses.

"I love you, yeah? Not Abel, not some other musician, not anybody else. You."

Harry huffs out a laugh through his nose, slightly shaking his head in disbelief at how well she knows him. He gently takes a hold of her forearms and leans up to rub his nose against hers, "I love you."

And when he closes the gap between them to capture her lips with his, how can he even entertain the thought of her having eyes for anybody else?

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yassentheassassin · 8 months

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Let me barge into your asks to add in my two cents for a second tumble user Xinamiguel

Look at this panel right here

Listen, listen

Listen

The way, yeah, the way Miguel was just sitting there listening yeah? Then his mom drops the “that’s not true of course.”

The way he whipped his head to the side, like he was just listening, but the second she dropped that he immediately gives his whole attention to what she’s saying

Because he’s waiting for the actual reason.

His whole life he believed that his mother hated him because she saw George in him, but now she says that that’s not the case? Then what is it? Maybe, just maybe he had hope that it might be something that he can fix in himself if he made the effort, and maybe then his mother would look at him again, maybe, just maybe

But then she drops the shellbomb, and any hope he had evaporates in an instant, gone, because he’s apparently the son of none other than Tyler stone

And there’s nothing he can do to fix that, and it’s a lost cause, he sees himself as lost cause as much as his own mother saw him as one, and he decides that it’s not worth living on now that he is convinced that he is a lost cause

And the only reason he doesn’t end it all, is because xina offered him a lil trip to nightshade

Maybe if xina saw something in him to the point that she’d offer to hang out with him again, maybe he’s not as much of a lost cause as he thinks

And he continues on living

(Sorry for this long rant, your post just unleashed the brainstorm in my head and I had to share my thoughts)

AHHHHH GOD YES HI I'M LOSING MY MIND I-

literally miguel has a moment of hope that he might learn the truth and be able to fix what his mother hates about him you're so right!!! (and deep deep down maybe there's this slight fragment of hope that his mother doesn't hate him, he thinks with an childlike innocence that 'maybe she still loves me..maybe she's had a good reason to pretend she's hated me all this time?')

and then she reveals the truth...

this is the final straw for miguel, he's been suicidal for a long long time and he's always managed to push through for whatever reason he manages to find, but this time he just can't do it

the next time we see miguel after the reveal is in these panels (i'm not 100% sure if they intended to be a separate thing or are directly included in the main run because of how different the style is but either way I believe it's canon, so assuming it is we also know he's now tried or maybe some people will see it as a nightmare or just to show how badly he's suffering and how suicidal he is, I'm not sure but I personally I see it as he did try)

MAJOR SUICIDE TW

whether you see it as a failed attempt or just a visualisation of how he's thinking, he still goes to say goodbye to xina...to give her a gift he knows she'll love as way to tell her how much he cares about her and how sorry he is

and she reaches out...she invites him to join her on her trip because she wants his company, after everything he's done and how he's hurt her she still sees him as worthy of her attention and company and she wants to be around him, she wants to be his friend and that's got to be something worth clinging to

i don't think she ever realises it (not unless he tells her) but she literally saved his life, she was the hand that reached out and clasped his and pulled him up from drowning in the dark turbulent waters of his obliterated mental health

sorry this got long but augh i could just hug you for sending this!!!

#miguel o'hara #sm2099 #suicide tw #tw suicide

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rosekasa · 1 month

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hello! since you love to talk about your art process and how you manage to not feel disappointed when things don't go your way, i wanted to ask you a question. im really curious about drawing a particular way but im not using the same medium to draw. no one has made tutorials on it and i am not sure how to go about it. what's your process of trying to emulate a style in your works?

hi anon !!! <3

i'm always a big believer in the fact that art is very much about what feels good to you. this used to be a very frustrating thing to get my head around at first because it made me feel like I had to renounce control over how I wanted my art to look, but what I eventually learned was that doing what feels good literally gets you the same results that you want but with a more organic process that makes your art feel more authentic. in terms of using mediums that differ from your favourite artists', this is a chance to understand what exactly you are resonating with in their styles and using the resources at hand to interpret that in your own work!

for example, in 2021, I read Tokyo ghoul and became obsessed with ishida's art. I was like, I need to ingest this art style. for comparison, these are the things that I had saved to my inspo folder, vs what my art looked like at the time.

at the time I was so intimidated by the idea of trying to work towards that style because I genuinely believed I would need to practice for years to get to that level. but what really helped me was doing redraws of the panels that I found prettiest -- not with the aim of copying it down exactly, but rather getting down what stuck out to me the most in terms of technique. doing that made me realize I was subconsciously focusing a lot on the facial anatomy and the detail added to the nose/lips/eyes, which then let me start working on those things independently. everytime I would draw I would try to focus extra hard on those things, trying to do what felt the best to me in every drawing. within a few months I already saw a lot of progress and I started feeling like my style resonated with me a lot more than it would have if I just tried copying ishida's style on its own!

sorry if this isn't helpful, I do recognize that 'do what feels good' is kinda useless advice but skdjfhsdkj it really is what helped me improve the most -- watching countless tutorials, trying so hard to 'memorise' theory, trying to copy what I thought was 'correct' rather than what I felt was correct, all actually hindered my progress. form < feeling bby. what feeling do you get when you see the art you love and how can you attain that feeling?

if u need anything else my askbox is always open <3

#ask #anon

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theysangastheyslew · 1 year

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Hey!!!

I want to share more suffering with you, homie haha *crying*

What do you think of the episode? Especially 132 part ofc!

Hi friend! :'))))))))) Ooooooh honey that gif is such a mood XD I’ve been trying to collect my thoughts and this is the best I can do atm. Sorry it’s kind of wordy but here we go 🥲

Ok! So ever-present pacing issues aside, the overarching story made for a solid episode and the animation was incredible. Hell, even the things I disliked objectively looked well-done out of context. Overall, that was no small feat to pull off, especially in such harsh working conditions. I truly do want to acknowledge that.

But in regards to 132, you guys already put into words how I feel better than I could. I may not have anything new to add, but I’ll say what I liked first and then put my issues under a cut.

As someone who actually really likes Yams’ art style, I loved that they consistently kept Hange’s face accurate to the manga. It was really inconsistent throughout the final season and they struggled to not make it too short a lot of times. Hange was always still stunning of course but the difference always stuck out to me. Here everyone was drawn well, but you can tell she got some extra attention.

The way they inched Levi closer to where Hange was sitting while talking with Yelena. Insignificant yeah but consistent with their past behavior. Also I’m glad they tweaked the position of his bandages so it looked less like they were painfully tugging upwards on his nose.

The pained expressions of the kids and Hange watching Levi struggle to even hold his gear

The “unrequited love” exchange. It had most of the softness and emotion from the manga even though the weight of that line will never be realized in non-written form. The camera lingered on each frame in a way that conveyed the sentiment. This is what got my hopes up that they would stay truer to the source material with DYH.

I'm so glad they left in Hange's lines to Flochroach about not giving up. Helps show—once again—that they wanted to live

The choked way Levi said “Devote your heart” + Hange’s widened eye and soft gasp at his words. Though not tearing up like in the manga, the shot still looked lovely for the half second it lasted. He doesn't pause halfway through saying it though so this one I'm still wrestling with.

Of course, the last stand. Onscreen, Hange took out at least 16 colossals (including the ones we see trip and get trampled) and definitely more offscreen (when they cut away to show other characters) and for the last few, did it while in the most pain a human body can feel. 7/10 for combat, my ass. Idk about y’all but I can’t stop hearing Romi Park’s screams in my head. I knew it would be nauseating and brutal but dear God. At the same time I cannot put into words how proud I am of them. That's my commander 💜

Ok “like” is definitely not the right word for this but I had wondered when I first read 132 how Hange’s gas tank was so well-insulated that it didn’t ignite, and.. well I got my answer.

I’m thankful that they didn’t show a glimpse of Hange’s bloody, crushed remains the way you see in the og panel. That at least felt respectful to me. This is wishful thinking I know but the defined charred outline makes me choose hope they fell more off to the side from where the titans were walking so at least there was maybe still a body left to recover someday.

The afterlife scene, the kids all sobbing their hearts out, Levi holding his own hand in the aftermath trying to process what just happened, and Onyankopon confirming the plane’s significance all really were appropriately gut-wrenching.

I really recommend taking a little break between The Rumbling and Sinners. It definitely makes the shift in emotion less jarring and less

When I did that with my rewatch it helped with the flow of things.

Ok, now twist me up and call me a pretzel bc here there be some salt :|

I’ll try to leave out my og issues with the manga chapter itself (like how painfully obvious it was all just to make Armin commander and how unnecessary Hange dying was IN THE FIRST PLACE and IF it had to happen at all how it could have been done at the final boss skelepalooza showdown, etc.) and just focus on the episode.

Goes without saying but it bears repeating: pacing. 75% of my issues with the execution of DYH would be gone if they just slowed down a bit. Just let the weight of it sink in a little. That this moment —all shreds of shipping aside— is the end of the line for these two heroes who have been supporting each other for ten years while bearing the weight of the world on their shoulders. But Mappa completely reversed the timing of the sequence of events. In the manga we had a longer, more intimate farewell followed by a last stand that was so short even when you knew it was coming it left you reeling from how fast it was from start to finish. Whereas here they hurried it along to get to the “main event”. Hell, it flows better in gif sets than it does in the actual show.

To me, it felt like Hange’s demeanor didn’t really change from talking with the kids to speaking with Levi, making their false bravado seem like less of a front. I know their tone was meant to sound like they were keeping up appearances, but with how often Hange just gets reduced solely to being a titan freak the way they had Romi say the lines made it sound like actual excitement, especially with the way they drew Hange's facial expressions (more on that next)

Hange’s little smirk after the salute. I kinda get what they were trying to do here but to me it came off as very flippant and dismissive of Levi’s choice of words, especially since they all but got rid of their lips trembling and eye beginning to well up with tears. I wish we’d gotten the big fake smile and laugh because that would have shown better that Hange was overcompensating by trying to put their brave face back on after starting to lose their composure. Their fear is obvious in the manga but it just simply didn’t come through as well throughout this entire exchange.

Sooo Hange almost tears up when Pieck said their words inspired her yet minutes later when their Best Friend tries to say goodbye there’s nowhere near that kind of reaction? Sure, Jan

Levi’s face. Ok look. It’s not a lack of emotion on his part that bothers me. It’s that it’s an entirely different one to begin with. He looks bummed at first yes, but then that changes to what I’m guessing is supposed to be determination which comes off as anger or annoyance (kinda like what changed with his scene with Armin on the stairs). They removed what made this parting different from previous ones, which was the sense of open vulnerability and the dawning realization that now he’s going to have to let Hans go too. See it's not like they were in the middle of the battle just yet. This situation came on suddenly and unexpectedly; it wasn't "supposed" to happen. One second they were on track and the next Hange is being torn away by fate. And yes, the highlights play a part in that transition. Anyone who draws eyes knows the importance of placement and intensity and the major impact they have over the final expression. And when drawing a comic you certainly don’t take up valuable page space with three panels focusing on the hope draining out of someone’s eyes if it wasn’t supposed to be the focus. I mean for fuck's sake, even the Final Season!Nendoroid Levi got it right. Plus, if they could make a point of getting Eren's eyes right during the raid on Liberio they could have gotten it here.

When the camera cuts to the kids watching the titans fall the angle doesn’t let you see that Levi can’t bring himself to watch for more than just a second

NOT MAPPA’s FAULT but since I’m being whiny right now I’m going to add that while ACWNR is a mixed bag to begin with, WIT’s adaptation not including Levihan’s introduction saddens me bc Levi asking Hange to keep watching loses a bit of extra oomph.

Really it just comes down to the fact that there was nothing wrong with the original page. It wasn’t overdone or dragged out by any means but considering many other scenes got shot-for-shot depictions I don’t think we were asking for anything outrageous by wanting a faithful adaptation. The couple frames we got that were almost perfect were so freakin fast you barely had time to process them before it cut away.

I wanted to like it, I really did. Especially since MAPPA did so many things so incredibly well as a whole. My expectations weren’t high, and I did want to give it the benefit of the doubt. But when it came to DYH, it felt both watered down and disjointed, like a completely different scene.

But so it goes. At the end of the day, Hange still dies a horrifying death for plot convenience, and Levi is left behind to suffer once again. It was always going to hurt and I was never going to be ready for it, no matter how it was done.

#gahhhh i keep seeing posts that better verbalize what im trying to say #words are hard #tldr: basically i agree with what you kleinzoe kachuusa warm starlight murdergiraffe nenithil glassesandswords and mcxynth all said #now imma go listen to voices carry by lights and the world is ugly on repeat bc if i see 1 more ‘hange was suicidal’ take ill eat my hand #le me #replies #ramblings #rantings #snk #levihan #analysis

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leavingautumn13 · 1 year

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What equipment and programs do you use to make your art? Your about says you're self taught, what helped you learn? And does anything specific give you inspiration for your current style or what you'd like to achieve in the future? I really like your art❤️

ahh!! hey, thank you so much!! <3 that's so kind of you to say!!

easy questions first: for digital art i use a wacom intuos tablet and paint tool sai, which is the only setup i've ever used. i've been trying to get into clip studio paint but something about it just doesn't stick with me. i think i need more practice.

for comic panels and lettering i use adobe indesign, and export as png to before putting them in sai.

everything else under the cut so this post isn't miles long

i've been drawing ever since i was a kid, but until middle school i mostly just drew animals or little notebook paper comics about animals. i grew up on a farm so there were lots around, and drawing from life is something i think really helped. like, there's a difference between knowing what a cat looks like and being able to pick one up and see how its bones and muscles fit together, being able to watch it change how it moves around depending on what it's doing, whether it's catching a mouse or playing with another cat or curled up asleep, and being able to break down that anatomy and movement into simple shapes. i'm a pretty visually oriented person so knowing how a thing functions or fits together as simple shapes helps me visualize it in my head and imagine how it would look in different poses or from different angles.

around middle school i moved onto drawing people, again from life while sitting in a cafe or at a park. actually being able to get what's in my head down onto paper in a way that satisfies me is something that i think just took practice. only recently (like, late last/this year) have i been consistently satisfied with the way i draw things.

sorry if that sounds weird or clinical--this is the first time i've been asked to explain how i learned to draw and this is the best way i can think to say it.

honestly, finding my own style has been looking at what i like about other artists' styles and trying to figure out how they achieved that. i did a lot of redraws of other peoples' art as a kid. for me, trying to replicate something makes me really think about why i like the way it looks. i try to lean towards a semi-realistic style--i don't like drawing super realistic all the time, i love cartoons and think they have a lot of character--but i also don't want to lose the underlying anatomy or structure because it helps my brain make sense of stuff. so i try to find the middle of the road, where things are simplified but still structured, if that makes sense.

brief tangent... that's why i draw pokémon the way i do. they're not on model, they're how i imagine they would look if they were real animals, based on the sort of animals they're... uh, based on. so like for this piece, because camerupt is a cow/camel hybrid, i looked at a bunch of pictures of cows laying on their sides, what their hooves and skulls looked like from certain angles, etc. and then i could draw what i wanted.

as for improvements, i need to get better at backgrounds and realistic coloring/lighting. color theory is one of those things that i understand... well, in theory, but when it comes to practice and paying attention to it when i color, i need work. and because i've mostly drawn animals and people my whole life--organic stuff--i find buildings and backgrounds difficult, so i tend to avoid them. and i need to not do that.

#thank you for the ask!! this one really made me think #let me know if you'd like me to clarify anything... i tend to get longwinded and distract myself with tangents.#so idk how clear this is? i really look like the charlie conspiracy board meme trying to explain anything to anybody #bc like there's CONTEXT alright #like i deleted a tangent about how much i love hiromu arakawa and fullmetal alchemist and it was a huge inspiration and #like damn dude that amount of granular detail was not asked for lmao #autumn.ask #autumn.personal

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sporesgalaxy · 1 year

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hey! i just saw your rb of your "an Origin for Queen Nothing" comic and it really struck me. ive been wanting to make comics similar to that (and i hope that isn't insensitive) but i struggle even getting started. do you remember anything of your process on that comic, and if so, would you be okay with sharing?

thank you I'm glad it could inspire you!! It's been years since I drew it, but I'll do my best

This really just ended up being me describing every scrap of symbolism, because aside from that my process was "write a poem a million times and hold the specific word meanings and emotions in my brain." How I chose what I did is difficult to explain since I have been doing this for so long, sorry...

•••

I did a lot of writing beforehand. Seems counterintuitive since there's so few words, but I'm naturally verbose so it takes me a looong time for me to boil anything down that much.

I didn't even write it with a comic in mind, I was just trying to put words to my feelings. But the changing intent of the words "not here, not like this" for each part made it suited to be paired with visuals that could guide reader enterpretation a little more. I already had in mind exactly what I meant by each word after I spent so long choosing them; the comic was just me trying to convey that more fully.

I usually don't draw comics so abstract, but it felt like a good way to maintain a sense of privacy even as I talked about very personal feelings.

as far as why I picked the visuals for each panel:

I obviously wanted a lot of empty space for the void panel, but I still wanted it to explain my words. So I tried to create a "something" to define the "nothing" around it, in the simplest visual terms I could. It was originally only one rounded black rectangle, but thag was a bit boring to look at so I added a second one. I placed the words in such a way that it would emphasize how the "something" is defining the "nothing" void around it. A void lies outside "something," whatever isn't "here" and "this."

For fear, I wanted to evoke the feeling as best I could. So black page with white text to evoke darkness was a given, and so were scratchier, shakier lines. Next, I needed to figure out how to recontextualize my words again. "Not here" in the context of fear is easy enough; being trapped or cornered, wanting to be somewhere else but being unable to get away, is the basis for a lot of different fears.

"Not like this" can be taken a lot of ways with fear; something being done to you that you don't want such as acts of violence, general fear of death, or something monsterous and horrible and Other. So the markings around those words could be interpreted as ragged gashes torn through something, or as disfigured claws, reaching towards the inescapable place around "not here."

For the hide panels, originally, I wanted these panels to be a house, but at the time I couldn't think of a pleasing way to abstract it. So it became labyrinthene speech bubbles, which I still meant to at least somewhat evoke rooms, connected nonsensically.

In the context of hiding, "not here, not like this" is directed at the self. Being told or telling oneself that one doesn't "belong," shouldn't be "here." In the "not here" panel, I call back to the void-- the figure lies mostly outside of "something" drawn intersecting them, in the same style as the "something" that the void Was Not. The speech bubble/room the person is in is stretched out of shape by their presence, intersecting a smaller speech bubble below. The person does not fit, and therefore must not "belong" there. A smaller space further away from this one offers an alternative place, "here," to hide from what the person is not.

In the next panel, the person hides in a different "room." But hiding serves only to remind that they are "not like this." The person distorts their hiding spot, despite curling up as small as possible. The original speech bubble/room where the person didn't fit is now back in its undisturbed shape, serving as a reminder that the person is "not like this."

Lastly, persisting. The black page conveys fearful darkness again, representing thenunknowable eldritch horror QN vaguely came into contact withcto become a weird monster. The white eyes and mouth emphasize emotion. The emotions are terror (left) and pain (right). They are no longer abstracted because the immensity of these feelings is greater than the feelings described in the other panels.

QN is too afraid to be anything, and denying oneself is painful, but is also too afraid to become nothing, and so holds on and endures, living in a state of unquestioned self-contradiction in many ways, out of percieved necessity. This unhealthy perception of fear and enduring pain as equivalent to safety and strength is the original core to their character. That's why the focus of these last two panels are simply fear and pain, and the "not here, not like this" simply voices a desperate desire to avoid that fear and pain.

"Not here, not like this" alienates and terrifies them away from living their life, but it is also what they hold onto to survive. This is the great contradiction at the core of Queen Nothing.

#asks

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wolfman-al · 6 months

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Not sure what to make of this conversation…

I had the weirdest exchange earlier on DA and then on Discord and I am struggeling to make hands and tails of it. This person contacts me via notes on Deviant Art with the headline "willing to get the opportunity^_^":

Them: "Hey there! I hope things are going well on your end. I know this might seem a bit out of the blue, but I couldn't help but notice your awesome art gallery. Your commissioned pieces are seriously impressive! I was thinking, would you be open to the idea of me creating a piece for you in my own unique art style? My commissions are currently open, and I'd be absolutely thrilled to have the chance to work on something special for you. If you have a moment, you can find me on Twitter at XXXXXXX or on Discord as XXXXX. I hope it's alright that I'm reaching out like this. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts! Thanks a bunch!"

Me: "Sure, if you want to draw some fanart of my stuff, but I don´t pay for comissions at the moment. "

Them: "Thank you so much for replying me back! Actually i really love your characters and also i got some different thought's in my mind about your characters I'm really very excited to share my thought with ya Would you mind if we discuss my thoughts on discord? cause it is more easy for to deliver those there!

here is my Discord id: XXXXXX

so we can continue chat over there"

Me: "Sended."

Them: "Thank you so much ya so we can continue chat on Discord I'm on Discord"

Continiuation of the conversation on Discord -

Them : "Hayee! How's you?"

Me: "hi."

Them: "hi Thank you so much for Asking ❤️ Actually i really love your some characters and also some different thoughts in my mind about your characters I'm really very excited to share my thoughts with ya"

Me: "Go for it."

Them: "Thank you so much Gimme a moment i can share it with ya i really love your character ❤️"

They proceed tho share the photo I made of myself in Hamburg after I smached my face on the sidewalk, which makes me feel a little uncomfortable. -

"Actually i can write a story for your character and then make a comic for ya"

Me: "Outch, that was a painfull evening."

Them: "I'm sorry to hear that 😦 so can i write a story for ya? and then turn the story into a comic"

Me: "You want to use my fursone or one of my OCs?"

Them: "yeah"

Me: "? So you want to use my OCs?"

Them: "yes you can share it with me Yeah bcz i wanted to write a story about your Oc's and turn it into an amazing comic"

Me: "OK, which OCs do you have in Mind? The Twins? The Gods? Or some of the older characters?"

Them: "I guess the twins is best work for comic"

Me: "Cool."

Them: "waiting…"

Me: "Ah, do you need the character sheets?"

Them: "yeah you can share it with me so i can write a story for ya"

I send the links to the charactersheets of the twins on DA over -

Them: "That's really nice ❤️ so i can write a story for ya around 10 pages and each page contain 10 panels sounds Good for ya?"

Me: "Really happy that you want give me such a gift,"

Them: "well would you mind can we proceed with the pricing"

Me: "??? Excuse me? I Did tell you that I do not make comissions at the moment. I understood that you want to do fanart of my characters, not that I comission you for anything. If thats the case forget it. To make it clear, you are welcome to draw my characters as fanart, but I will not pay for it."

And eversince then just radio silence of them so far. Sorry for the long post, but what the hell was that? Was that just miscommunication? Was that person trying to scam me? I would say it is possible that English was not that persons first langlauge, but, their profile says that they are from an English speaking country. At times this conversation felt like I was talking to an AI. So what are your thoughts, friendos? Just what was that?

#Conversations #confused #Weirdos #Possibly scammers

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cityandking · 1 year

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canvas, informal, roots for Dai, Minah, Bran and Eniko (sorry i couldnt pick i love them all)

i love you!!!! // oc asks: character design edition

canvas: Does your OC have any scars, piercings, tattoos, or other markings? Do they display or cover them up at all?

DAI — his most noticeable scar starts around his temple and curves back around the crown of his head from when an underwater cave collapsed on him and he died. he also has one right under his sternum where zaref ran him through with a greatsword and another one on his left side under his ribs from when he got voidstabbed coming back to Selto. a few more smaller ones from training and whatnot. he doesn't have any tattoos. he also has darker skin coloring on his hands and up his forearms from his earth genasi heritage. he doesn't make any particular effort to cover up his scars or other markings; he's not that self-conscious

MINAH — she has multiple ear piercings and a few scars from Life On The Road. she has one small but obvious one above one eye and she wears her bangs long on that side to hide it

BRAN — a handful of scars from her various travels and adventures. multiple ear piercings. freckles! and a bunch of tattoos, including one that's like an ocean in a bottle and has actual moving, crashing waves (it's over her sternum and matches her heartbeat; the ocean gets choppier when she's having an anxiety episode). she has absolutely no problem with showing a little skin, markings and all

ENIKO — his back is covered in scars, and he has ear and eyebrow piercings, but besides that he's pretty blank. he doesn't take his shirt off if he can help it and could count on one hand the number of (living) people who know about his back

informal: What's your OC's lazy-day look? How do they like to dress when they're winding down?

DAI — he dresses down to the underlayer of his robes, so a wrap-style shirt and pants pretty much. if he were really dressed down the shirt would be untied too, but he saves that for when he's alone (or with zaref). if he's going out there's at least one additional layer, but nothing too fancy.

MINAH — just her shirt and leggings. maybe the skirt too if the weather is a little chilly or gross, but she'll forego her usual vest and sashes and the rest.

BRAN — a loose shirt and breeches. usually barefoot and her hair either down all the way or tied completely back. she doesn't bother with the hat

ENIKO — eniko's lazy day look is exactly like his everyday look except he doesn't bother with the vest. can't do crime if you ain't dressed to the nines (eights?)

roots: Is your OC's look inspired by any specific style of clothing or fashion trend? What are the roots and/or inspiration for their look?

DAI — daichi's look is inspired by wrap-style clothing, specifically korean hanbok. this unfortunately clashes horribly with Airedon's gilded French renaissance vibe, so I think the cuts of his original uniform are reminiscent of French court fashion—knee-length, tails longer in the back, long and narrow split skirt panels. there's very little metal in his ensemble besides his armor—the robe layers are adjusted with ties and sashes. more metal would have been added to his uniform as he moved up the ranks, but I don't think he'd want it at this point—he's moved away from renaissance influences the longer they've traveled and the more he's distanced himself from Airedon's limiting rules and permissions. now he's probably a horrible mishmash of styles. I'm having a terrible time trying to redesign his armor

MINAH — her vibe is loosely inspired by Station Eleven, so it's a lot of layers and repurposed fabric and clothing. her base outfit is a loose blouse tucked into a pair of leggings, a wrap skirt tied on top, and a vest. she has shorter and longer skirts for different seasons and different weather, and definitely has a number of belts. I think the skirts she wears to perform are made of multiple panels of fabric so they move better when she dances

BRAN — she has an age of sail look going on. also a lot of gold jewelry inspired by rivia (you can take the girl out of the city of gold etc etc) but mostly it's a pirates of the caribbean thing

ENIKO — eniko's look is inspired by late Victorian working class fashion, ish. button-up shirts and vests and jackets and pants made of fabrics that can survive a lot of wear and tear. but eniko likes to dress for the job he wants (having money) rather than the job he has (having no money) so the cuts mimic higher classes, and he takes exactingly good care of his gear. you can only tell how worn and secondhand it is when you get up close, and if you're getting up close to eniko there's probably about to be a knife in you somewhere that you did not want a knife.

#thank youuuuuuuuu these were so fun (I say about my own asks)#daichi #minah #eniko #branwen #memery

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muckyschmuck · 5 months

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Your comic is getting me inspired to start my own. I'm starting out with a word document just creating a numbered list (each # is a page) and listing the content I want on each page in order. It feels easier to organize my ideas into a story without forgetting details this way, especially since I don't have much time to draw.

What does your creative process look like? Is there organization in a roughdraft-type format? Or is it a more spontaneous process?

Thanks, dude.

-Cake Tester

sorry if this is rambly but i did. the same exact thing basically for the first two chapters (writing each page/panel while working off like, a rough draft of just general stuff i wanted to happen) but for the intermission i’ve kinda been using it to just experiment w different styles of lining and stuff (trying to find out what’s easiest on my hand before i proceed w the actual third chapter basically) so i’ve more or less been rawdogging the dialogue and actual writing and stuff? ive still been keeping track of the different years and general stuff thats occurred in each one but mostly i just have have a bunch of scenes in my head that i cross my fingers and hope translate well into drawn format. i use my notes app to hastily scribble stuff down if i need to remember specific stuff but other than that it’s absolutely gotten way more spontaneous. i’ll probably go back to having an actual script for each panel when i get to chapter 3, idk yet

#sucks that the comic will never 100% match the scenes that play out in my head before i go to bed #but ya idk my creative process is mostly nonexistent #i mean it exist but it’s chaotic #still not sure how i wanna format chapter 3 art wise #but i have a bit before it gets to that point to figure it outttt #oh yeah i also sketch and play around and write a lot in my no post sketchbook and that helps a lot

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the-firebird69 · 5 months

Text

Says this one looks a little better than it does it's a later model and 1980 I believe and that's the last year they made them it is a terrific looking model and it is easy to form in metal and we're going to form it in metal because it's easier to use and they make a lot of metal panels these days that are aftermarket and we're going to make kits to put it on vehicles several vehicles Jeeps for instance Jeep owners want this versus the Jeep and Ford pickup trucks and more usually they're like the midsize is smaller than the F-150 and they don't make them anymore so sorry to find something to fit on except for something like a Jeep so it's kind of tough but there's some SUVs we can use and there kind of close the Ford explorer and a whole list of years and the terrace are different and the rims are recessed and they put outwards more and handles a little better. I like this look a lot and we're going to go with it and we're going to start producing and we're going to try and see what happens

Thor Freya

Olympus

We need to get these out there we're going to make them for areas of ours doesn't really work but making them where we are works but still we have stuff that works we don't need them there we do need these in the field I have a suggestion is to put them where they're used one place they want to use them on our military style basis and if you do that they'll start buying them both groups have military bases the empire and others and all over the world they probably use this because nobody's making anything so I'm going to try and do some sales and he says you come up to a military base probably more luck and hand them over and say this is something you want to try and do is promote these for use in the military and trying to get a contract and they'll have to ask our CEO and they'll have to scan them and they'll come in and they'll be painted for the base paint that's a good idea it's not really done these days it is pretty much done quite a bit so they'll like him because they're multi-duty and they're heavy duty and we're going to put the new frame on it and I got to start making them and I'm getting permission and he wants to have at least a hundred for each concise so I'm going to do that and I'm going to put it in the request and he wants to do it for foreigners too and if we can't do it we're going to use them and drive them around in the city and put an advertising on it I actually have all of that that's a good idea

Savage opress he says it's a way to do business it's also a way to do see who's in the way if anyone for real

We're going to go ahead and prove this it's a good idea and we like how our son and daughter think too as well as our grandson and granddaughter this is great

Olympus

I'm going to throw my weight into this because I want this done and I like it he's got great ideas to make a smaller ones terrific everybody on Earth is going to try the damn thing it's going to be so much fun and it won't look like a retard car

Thor Freya

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moririki · 3 years

Text

⤷ MORE THAN YOU'D BARGAIN FOR

DENJI X READER -> 1.7K when it comes to a fool blinded by love, it sure hurts to have the short end of the stick

REQUEST -> ✰ CONTAINS -> angst, friends with benefits‼️, happy ending bc i'm weak like that, denji not knowing how to process emotions, very loose college!au cos i'm lazy, makima being slightly antagonised because fuck her, mentions of sex but nothing super explicit i don't think MORI'S THOUGHTS -> thinking about denji's hands. i want to learn how to animate manga panels now so i can do a csm edit. also the writing style got kinda boring im SORRY

HEARTBREAK WAS ALWAYS BOUND TO HAPPEN IN THESE SORT OF RELATIONSHIPS. anyone with a pair of eyes and ears could give a clear answer to the question "who does denji like?" and no matter how much you wanted that answer to change, it would never be you.

even when the blonde boy had been so insistent on his heart belonging to another, he still had urges. so under the influence of one too many bottles of alcohol, it was a fairly easy decision for both of you to fall into bed together. more than once. more than you'd care to admit.

being with denji was nice. he was funny, sweet at times and vulgar during the others, and you found yourself repeating a mantra of don't catch feelings for your friend during your time together. and truth be told, it was hard not to, even when you and denji had finished your business and the topic of conversation always seemed to make its way back to makima.

it left a bitter taste in your mouth when denji acted like nothing had happened between the pair of you in other settings. the bitterness turned sour when you realised that there was no reason for him to have to either, and you cursed yourself when you realised you had done the worst thing possible and gone and fallen for your friend who so clearly wouldn't like you back.

but there were times where you thought that you just might have a chance.

even though your cursed your heart for fluttering and rearing its head each time so willingly at denji's mercy, you couldn't help but take every offhand action of his as a ray of hope. with the way his hands engulfed yours to anchor himself as he thrusted into you, the way his lips left urgent kisses on your lips as you panted beneath him, the way he whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you cried out in ecstasy.

and even when you were lying next to each other in his bed, catching your breath. you would turn to look at his face sometimes, only to see him staring at you already with a look in his eyes that could only be described as wistful. but you were a fool to think that you could ever upseat makima in denji's eyes.

false hope could only get you so far.

with his breath tickling the back of your neck and his large hand rubbing patterns into your hip, this false hope really had gotten you somewhere. but all good things must come to an end. words that you dreaded to say weighed heavy on your tongue, but you dragged yourself along, lifting them just enough to feel them escape your lips before you could really stop them.

"denji, what are we?"

you felt the hand that rested on you go still, and the arm that was poised as a pillow for you went rigid. hell, the boy that was holding you so close to his chest had practically stopped breathing, and you felt your eyelids slide shut in a bitter defeat before you heard another word. it's not like you needed them to understand how he felt, anyway.

"we're friends, aren't we?" his tone was so controlled, so even and level and unlike the denji that you knew and, dare you say it, loved. it sent another shot tubneling straight through your heart, and you were glad that you were currently facing away from him. you wouldn't be able to handle seeing the look on his face as all of your tentative hopes were crushed under his heel. all you wanted to do was curl in on yourself and maybe try to cry away the numbness that was invading your body from the chest outward.

you raised a shaking hand to push denji's own off of you, and you felt the mattress underneath you creak as the boy shifted in confusion at your behaviour.

"y/n?"

your kept your back turned to him as you got out of his bed, pulling on your own clothed and scowling in frustration when you couldn't find your shirt anywhere. you were seconds away from letting the first droplets fall, and you did not want to let denji see.

you snagged some random material of a shirt off of the bedroom floor, yanking it over your head and turning to face denji with a face that you hoped wasn't too scrunched from holding back your tears.

"we're not just friends and you fucking know it."

you didn't have time to register his wounded facial expression or the pleading calls of your name that he cast towards your retreating figure, but you grabbed your shoes before leaving his dorm, shutting the door behind you a little too forcefully and storming off back to your own room.

you must look insane, padding along the halls with no shoes as angry tears streaked down your face and you tried your best not to audibly sob. by the time you had made it back to your room your eyes were streaming, and you flopped on your bed with little regard for anything else other than crying your eyes out.

truth be told, after that fateful night and the best cry of your life you felt much better. you knew where you stood, you had your feelings sorted out, and you knew that a little distance would really help you to finally move on from your friend.

now, if only denji would stop calling and texting you like nothing had happened.

you felt like you could scream when you saw a notification from him, asking if you wanted to study for the test that you had next week. you bit back the petty urge to ask him if he wanted to study with you as just friends, instead opting to turn your phone off and bury your face in your pillow once again.

matters of the heart take time, after all.

on denji's end, things weren't looking much better. he brushed off his confusion at your actions and words when you had left so abruptly the other day, only to find himself staring at his ceiling trying to decipher his feelings and what the hell you had meant.

he likes makima. and he has, for a while now. he could count on one hand the amount of times he had interacted with the girl who sat in front of him in the lecture hall, and every time had been met with this strange giddy feeling in his chest. though it was rare, he knew that feeling.

but the one he felt right now was so, so, different. when the door clicked shut behind you, it felt like a piece of him had up and left along with you. the very reason that he had accelerated things so far in your relationship was because of how right things felt with you. the slightest graze of your fingertips across his chest didn't light any fireworks in his mind, but it's like warmth perforated his skin and was injected straight into him from you.

truth be told, that feeling was the most addicting he had ever felt. and when he heard that air of finality right after the door shut behind you, it didn't take long for denji to realise just how cold everything felt without you.

but he still liked makima, right?

that giddy feeling in his chest he got from her was enough to fill the you-shaped hole, right?

you not talking to him wasn't what made his heart hurt, right?

he only realised just how wrong he had it when he talked to makima for the fourth time ever. she had turned in her seat, even smiling at him and asking for a pen, and all that came to mind was how much he missed your smile.

hell, he missed everything. the sound of your laugh, the smell of your hair. the way you fit against him and said his name. and that's when he realised this you-related feeling was.

longing.

there was a knock on your door. and another. you groaned, rolling over to check the time to see that it was three in the morning.

by the time you had cracked your door open you saw a flash of blond hair and a face all-too-familiar, you knew it was too late to slam your door shut. denji's face perked up, and you already knew that you were done for.

he lifted his hand, revealing a pretty albeit crumpled bouquet of flowers. you almost giggled to yourself, guessing that the mastermind of that romantic gesture was most likely denji's roommate aki. but it was appreciated, nonetheless.

"what do you want, denji?" you were painfully aware of just how much of a mess you looked right now- eyes still red around the rim from how many self-pitying tears you had shed over this entire situation.

denji's mouth and opened and closed, and you sighed against your barely open door which still had a chain on it.

"i'm not in the mood, denji."

"no, no, it's just that i wanted to say that i've finally figured out what we are." it appears tgat your friend finally found his voice. you looked him in the eye again, trying not to let the hope in your heart build itself too high. "we're way more than friends, y/n."

you felt any resistance crumble at those words, and the sheepish smile on your face grew.

"so, can i come in?" you smiled at denji, shutting your door to undo the latch before opening it again, wide enough to let him back in to your life. consider him a weakness of yours.

the first thing denji did when he crossed the threshold of your door was wrap his arms around you, dried tears and crumpled flowers and all, and bury his face in your hair. the only words he had to offer was a mumbled i miss you into your skin, and you felt your body melt against him like it had so many times before.

when you finally broke apart, you couldn't help but wonder.

"so, what are the flowers for denji?" the boy before you blushed, his eyes flitting off to the side. he raised a hand to the back of his neck, taking a breath to summon some courage.

"i was hoping... that i could take you out on a date. or be your boyfriend. something like that."

"what?" denji was still bright red, though his eyes were locked onto yours.

"you heard me." you smiled once again, taking a step forwards and effectively closing the distance between you two.

"i would love to."

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