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#I want to share the things in my head
rendevok · 10 months
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“Take my hand” pages 12-15
1 - 2 - day 3 - 💙free day❤️ - 4
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triona-tribblescore · 6 months
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This song is on my Peepaw playlist purely for the fact that every time I hear it all I can think of is Future Leo reflecting on his past self. There would deffo be some anger and frustration there to want to tell him to "get his act together" and to just listen or something uvu
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lunarharp · 2 months
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What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)
#witch hat tag#orufrey#er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this.#wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on#i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head#that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it...#some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself...#maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts.#orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway#i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles#btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20#well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10#and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most#(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era#that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little.#certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye#idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'.#i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle#just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit#let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')
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puppyeared · 3 months
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mascot
#this isnt vent dw!!! i dont smoke either i was just kinda going for some sort of vibe#i know its usually played for laughs or like. dark humor whenever ppl draw mascots without their heads and u can see the actor#but i always found it fascinating and a little sobering. ever since i was a kid ive always been hyperaware of ppl in costumes#like. even if i tried to block it out id be thinking the whole time 'its not real. theres a person in that suit who gets paid to do this'#it used to be an uncomfortable nagging feeling but now its like. oh yeah theres someone with a whole life story doing this. idk#i think when i tell ppl im not conscious of my body its like. im not dysphoric or experience dissociation but. at the same time#it feels like my physical body doesnt fully outwardly represent me..?? like some sort of costume#i like to phrase it as being a giant hairless mecha and inside theres a very tiny puppy piloting the damn thing#and the other thing is. when i draw my sona i dont really see it as what i /wish/ i looked like or how i want people to see me#its like being in a costume and just. fucking around with some sort of barrier between myself and others#plus mascots arent allowed to talk and i dont really. engage with other ppl in public spaces that it kinda feels like ad lib#i share a lot abt my life but ironically im also a private person..... i guess it just gives me some sort of control over my identity#my art#myart#my oc#sona#mascot#furry#??? is this furry art????#twinkle#puppysona#edit: had to outline it bc i just realized it looks really weird on dark mode -_-
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thepoisonroom · 12 days
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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
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theminecraftbee · 1 year
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you know sometimes one of the things the fandom does that i like the least is joke about how certain ccs are "lorephobic" because it basically always ignores the lore they actually are really and visibly doing. like, sure, they may not be doing the lore YOU'RE looking at, but, one, lore doesn't just mean "big overarching server storyline" it can also mean solo stuff. it can also mean 'builds that have story built into them'. it can also mean 'fun little storyline between like two guys'. it can also mean character continuity. it can mean many things. two, "this guy doesn't do lore" is NOT the same thing as "this guy doesn't do the specific lore i personally like and want to see them doing" and i don't always think you guys know the difference. all of this, of course, is to say: hey guys did you know zedaph can canonically time travel,
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dylanconrique · 2 months
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tim "i'm not trying to be romantic" → gets his girlfriend a 1st place trophy before she even takes the detectives exam because he believes in her so much, and then writing in a little '7' next to it after she notified him that she didn't do as well as she had hoped SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING ROMANTIC TO ME.
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mutxnts · 1 year
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don't call it a comeback, i been here for years
(flashing cw)
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intotheelliwoods · 23 days
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I have one more thing I want to work on before I get back into updating 2AL regularly, but until then......
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platyroonism · 2 months
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you look in the mirror and the thing in the mirror looks back
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every teen with an identity crisis must go bald. sorry i don't make the rules.
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cuubism · 7 months
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hello friends. despite my 9 million existing dreamling wips i'm feeling the need to branch out a bit for the sake of my mental variety. what pairing other than dreamling should i write a little something for? could be romantic or platonic
other way of phrasing i guess: any pairings you really want to see more fics for in the fandom?
#i actually do have one someone asked me for ages ago i've been meaning to get to so i'll try to do that too#bonus points if it still involves dream bc you know i love dream XD#probably wont do any romantic pairings /between/ the endless because well yeah#but open to exploring pretty much anything else... feel free to send whatever if you want. dont worry about if i'll like it#if i can't vibe with it or find it uncomfy i just won't write it no harm no foul#not me soliciting little prompts fully knowing that motivation is a fickle beast and who knows if i would get to writing them XD i want#to though! or like. idk. if anyone wants to share headcanons about their favorite pairings i am happy to receive them#the sandman#a couple that are bouncing around my head already:#rose meeting desire. this could be really interesting i think (they are of course her grandparent)#calliope and lucienne post-calliope's imprisonment: i think their dynamic could be interesting since they both have/had close relationships#with dream. but of course calliope's relationship with him fell apart. i think lucienne with whatever context of it she had would probably#be sympathetic to calliope's perspective but still staunchly On Dream's Side so the speak bc she is ultimately very loyal to him... could b#an interesting convo.#additionally - calliope and johanna. both suffered things recently. both had curious interactions with dream where they recently saw both#his vicious side AND a kinder more understanding side of him... [dream gave rachel a peaceful death at johanna's request etc]#but they've come out of their suffering really differently (granted it was different types of suffering. but)#wow here i am asking for people's ideas and then just coming up with my own XD#anyway#wait two others: i'm fascinated by the potential dynamic of lucienne and the corinthian they only had like one short scene together in the#show but can you imagine. spending eons being loyal to dream and then going opposite directions with that loyalty. being among dream's inne#circle so to speak except lucienne is her own entity while corinthian was /created/ by dream. they have the most fascinating venn diagram o#personality traits and narrative positions...#secondly. and this is kind of crack. but like. imagine johanna and corinthian in the same room XD 'hi i'm an exorcist and this is my pet#serial killer' 'yeah my lord gave me a vacation to go kill some demons' why doesn't he try to kill johanna? bc she tried to destroy him#first time they met and he can't help but respect it XD
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pcktknife · 3 months
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i am always filled with so much dread
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devondespresso · 1 year
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i was reading a scoops era steddie au where eddie visits scoops often and one thing i noticed i alway want but have yet to see (bear in mind my fic pallette is basically just shit i see on Tumblr and occasionally reading every fic a certain author has written) is a specific scene of eddie noticing stobins missing when he goes to visit them at scoops the day theyre stuck in the bunker. cause they entered the bunker after a shift one night and didn't get out until at the soonest the next afternoon right before the mall closes so if either or both of them were scheduled to work then they'd be just... gone.
and how characters around them handle that depends on how soon (if at all) they're declared missing. did robin think they'd be in-and-out in their snooping and tell her parents shes be back a little late or did she think they'd be out kinda late fucking around and just lied to her parents telling them shes sleeping over at a friend's like how we know tina was going to cover for erica? did mrs Henderson freak out when Dustin didn't bike back home (knowing what happened with will) or did she know he was with steve and trusted that they were goofing off or something?
and usually i see Steve's parents not being home but what if they were?? they could panic because steve always has some sort of excuse for why hes gone or maybe just his mom starts worrying because while his dad never really asks about him she does and she knows hes probably not at some girls house right now because he at least would have told her. or maybe mrs harrington doesn't know her son as well as she thinks she does and assumes he is out at some girls house and is relieved hes finally getting to be more like himself.
maybe just one or two people in scoops troop are reported missing that night and maybe the search started for them is enough for the other's parents or friends to realize they're all missing. maybe none of them are because they each already had a coverup with the people who'd notice. maybe they spent a good few hours in that elevator regretting lying about where they'd be because now no one knows they're in danger and by the time they start looking it could be too late (obviously erica didn't seem to grasp this yet but shes literally 10 and it's definitely her fist severely traumatic life or death experience. for the others tho it could definitely be on their minds and i have seen a few fics where robin wonders about how steve and Dustin are reacting like they've done scary shit like this before together)
then morning comes and id give it until lunch with no calls or anything before parents who believed their kids were sleeping over to start worrying seriously. maybe they call the friend their child's supposedly with and get a confused parent saying they haven't seen them or maybe they get the friend picking up and confirming they're fine (like tina). but if Mrs Henderson gets worried and calls steve she'll either get the harringtons saying he isn't home right now or she won't be able to reach him. and knowing steves like a big brother and a best friend to dustin knows that if steve missing too he's probably at least missing with him and goes to the station worried about them both
and then theres the fact that scoops has to open in the morning, probably sometime around 10am. maybe steve and robin were scheduled to both work again and as 10am comes and passes scoops ahoy hasn't been touched. maybe some mall manager calls the scoops manager (forgive me ive never worked in a mall but i do work in a store-within-a-store and we have our own manager plus the big store manager) and asks where their employees are. if missing persons reports were filed that last night then the manager would be really worried while frantically trying to find someone to cover for them. but maybe no one knows they're missing yet and their manager is grumbling about their no-shows, maybe considering firing them for both disappearing without even calling out. depending on how much they know and if the reports were filed, whoever has to cover their shifts is either worried about their coworkers (probably moreso robin than steve because of his reputation) or utterly pissed that they both didn't show and they have to open scoops ahoy with a few hours delay and probably a good few karens bitching about being closed. or maybe one or the other was scheduled and while their no-show is really inconvenient at least someone's there to open and ask for backup
and then theres steves car still parked in the back where it was the day before. a bike left behind at the mall is less eyebrow-raising but a fancy car? Steve Harrington's car? Steve Harrington who was scheduled to work today but somehow isn't in scoops right now? is he skipping work while simultaneously wandering around his workplace? and whats worse is despite evidence being there *no one can find him*. maybe thats what it takes for people to realize hes like actually missing. maybe they think he was kidnapped, hopefully he just went home with some girl and lost track of time.
and then theres eddie. eddie whos been stopping by scoops for a while now. maybe he still doesn't really like Harrington but likes teasing him with Buckley or maybe they've gotten pretty close. maybe they're already dating. maybe eddie walks up to scoops one morning to find it closed or to find that one or the other didn't show up for work this morning. maybe he hears from the worker that ones missing or maybe they get a rant about how pissed the worker is to be opening alone. maybe he's the one to go to a mall manager or security officer worried about scoops being closed because he *knows* the people that are supposed to be there right now and they don't just abandon work at the same time with no explanations.
or maybe eddie visits in the afternoons and learns they're missing from their coworkers or maybe hes there because he saw it on the news and went on his our hunt. either way it'd probably end with Eddie looking around the mall for them because he knows steve isn't going to just abandon his beemer in a busy public parking lot. maybe he finds them high out of their minds while checking the movie theatre (this one i do see a lot and am obsessed with its so good) or maybe he doesn't find them at all (its a big mall and they are actively hiding from Russians who know they escaped. sure stobin are not being very secretive while high but dustin and erica are at least keeping them in less-discoverable locations). maybe he goes home knowing hes looked everywhere in that damn mall and assumes they're probably kidnapped and taken somewhere else (if he did find them tho that opens a whole can of worms for if, how, and how much eddie gets involved and while my brains gone down sone of those rabbit holes i don't think i will today)
and then they see the news about the mall fire. and eddie knows damn well that he looked everywhere in that mall but didn't see a trace of his friends but there they are on the news and apparently in the fire. maybe eddie assumes he didn't look hard enough. but maybe he sees how steves the only one with more than a few bruises on his legs, how despite them claiming he was trapped in rumble that also allegedly killed billy hargrove he looks like hes carrying himself on adrenaline alone and hovering around robin and the kids like something more than falling support beams could get to them. maybe its the fact that he look as shit as he did but wasn't laying down on a hospital stretcher like he would be if he just got those wounds.
_._._._
hi if you saw any typos no you didn't UNLESS theyre funny or actually concerning then you should tell me and i can react appropriately
also i swear i feel like doctor strange looking through every possible reality when i go on tangents like this. idk whenever i come up with little fics in my head or come up with different ways my favorite unfinished fics could end im always exploring as many different versions of the same scenario as i can and coming up with as many what-ifs as i can.
also i pressed the poll button by accident while making this and idk how to make it go away to we're trying just ignoring it and not writing anything in it to see if it goes away
actually fuck that it probably wont work so im adding a poll question as a treat for the people who read this far
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puppyeared · 4 months
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Tell me about a song you like right now, maybe an animation you just watched that made you think thoughts and feel things
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Only Acting by Kero Kero Bonito!! I want to make an animatic for Macaque using this song and some parts of Shadow Play and the s4 special.. although im still mapping it and deciding whether I want to use the radio edit or not lol
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The obnoxious ringing of their phone fills the trailer and snaps Eddie out of his repetitive strumming.
He's been trying to learn one of his newest favorite songs for, (he looks at the clock; damn, eleven already,) like three hours now.
Eddie gets up from the couch, grumbling about who the fuck is calling them, Wayne left for work some hours ago, but he almost never calls during his shift.
He reaches the phone stuck to one of their kitchen walls and brings the receiver to his ear.
"Hello?" he greets.
"Eddie!" Steve's voice says on the other end of the line, his tone surprised like he didn't expect him to pick up.
Eddie feels a smile tug at his lips.
"Heeeey Steve-o!" Eddie greets him "what can I do for ya this time a' night?"
"Shoot! Right, sorry. Did I wake you?" Steve asks. Eddie snickers.
"Nah, man. It's cool." Eddie tells him, grabbing a forgotten bag of twizzlers off the counter to start chewing on one of the treats.
"I know you have a lot of teenage friends," Eddie adds around the twizzler now in his mouth, "but most young adults go to bed at like- midnight. Even later on a Friday night." he finishes.
Steve scoffs at "young adults" and Eddie can practically hear him rolling his eyes.
He's still a little surprised he can tease Steve Harrington. It took many many movie nights for Eddie to fully join in on that. Though he still hesitates sometimes, he thinks the kids can take it a bit too far.
"Whatever," Steve dismisses, his smile shining even through the phone lines "I just called to tell you Rob's not working tomorrow, so she won't be able to meet for breakfast" Steve's smile sounds like it fades a little in that sentence.
Eddie stops chewing.
They've been having breakfast together every Tuesday and Saturday, the days Steve and Robin work the morning shift together at Family Video.
Sometimes a couple of the kids will join, sometimes Robin's friends will join, or Nancy, even Garrett or Jeff or Freak; they all know they can find Eddie, Robin and Steve on those days at the diner so it's become their unofficial hangout spot, at least before 9am.
And Eddie's had breakfast with just Robbie before, or Nance, or one of his friends, but never with just Steve.
Steve is a bit of an enigma to Eddie.
Over a really short period of time Eddie had found out Steve's a local hero extraordinaire, that he's totally metal and also that he is a little bit dorky and has an absolutely terrible love life.
And if that wasn't surprising enough, it turns out Steve also isn't totally averse to Eddie, and that sure was surprising.
But Steve is a little awkward around Eddie sometimes. Like he's afraid Eddie will judge him or something; which, is preposterous, Eddie's the queer nerd, what would he have to judge Steve for? Especially now that he's technically no longer a jock. Plus, he had a huge role in saving Eddie's life, it's not like Eddie would forget that.
But he still finds Steve staring at him in the middle of movie nights only to avert his eyes when Eddie turns to him, or Steve'll laugh a little too hard at Eddie's observation like he's overcompensating, or Eddie will feel a little self conscious of his greasy tank and coveralls when Steve's eyes widen at the sight (it's not his fault his job's so messy).
So, he never really hangs with just Steve, not because he's made it so, but rather, it's just never happened and Eddie hasn't actively tried to make it happen because, well, it's a little weird.
In fact, Eddie's fairly certain Steve also works Thursday mornings because he's seen him having breakfast at the diner with Dustin or on his own when Eddie goes by on his way to the auto shop.
Eddie does work mornings most days except for Sunday and Monday since those are his free days. It's very rare that Frank calls to tell him he'll need Eddie in the afternoon shift instead, so technically, Eddie could be having breakfast at the diner any day.
Eddie could be having breakfast at the diner with Steve on Thursdays.
Except?
He's not gonna invite himself is he?
It also doesn't help that Eddie has an embarrassingly huge crush on the guy, so he can never tell if Steve's actually being weird or if Eddie's just paying too much attention to him.
He really can't help himself, the guy's everything Eddie finds attractive in a person and on top of that he's fucking gorgeous. It's frankly unfair, if you ask him.
All those years in high school, hating Steve in the worst of cases or ignoring him in the best, had been pretty easy. Partly because of his good looks, mostly because of the company he kept. But now that Steve surrounds himself with his found family? Now that he laughs freely and fails fearlessly and gives so easily? Eddie does not stand a chance.
So really, it's probably for the best that they don't hang out on their own.
Eddie puts down his twizzler, mentally readying himself to start doing meal prep because Steve for sure called to cancel.
"...ssso if you wanna cancel–" Steve says, there's a muffled thump on the other end of the line, but Eddie pays it no mind, tries to play it cool.
"I mean that's–. Whatever you want." he stammers.
God, Eddie thinks, rolling his eyes at himself, he really could not be cooler.
"I um," Steve inhales sharply then "I'm probably still gonna have breakfast there," he says, "I'm not– I'm no good in the kitchen" he laughs casually.
Eddie huffs, reluctantly charmed.
"So if you wanna join" Steve adds hesitantly, "well, you're always welcome"
"ialsohateeatingalone" Steve adds, almost as an afterthought.
See? He's a little weird.
Not that that makes him any less attractive; on the contrary, it's endearing,
"Alright, cool." Eddie chuckles now, "Sounds good. I honestly don't wanna cook myself anything so you're practically doing me a favor." he says, then waits for a bit, in case Steve really needs an out; he picks his twizzler back up to start chewing on it again.
When Steve doesn't take the out, Eddie teases him again,
"Tell ya what, I'll teach you how to cook breakfast sometime" Eddie says around his treat, just to get on Steve's nerves a bit, but also pitifully hoping his offer would ever be accepted.
"I know how to cook breakfast, Eddie," Steve protests.
"You just said you're no good in the kitchen!" Eddie shoots back, enjoying the sound of Steve's answering laugh from the other end of the line.
"Ok fine!" Steve says, his smile back in his voice, "You'll teach me some day, whatever." he concedes.
Eddie's fairly certain his eyes could not get bigger and his cheeks could not get redder.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" Steve asks.
Heart hammering in his chest, Eddie nods.
Steve can't see him.
"Mmhm." Eddie hurries to amend, "See you tomorrow, Stevie," he says.
Eddie feels butterflies fluttering in his stomach with Steve's parting 'see you' before the line goes dead.
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hanzajesthanza · 6 days
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the headcanon that regis can hang from the ceiling to sleep or rest like a bat is funny on its own, but when i consider geralt and others in the hanza holding conversations with him like this, it’s made better by my understanding of this as just an advanced “neurodivergent sitting” technique
#in an irl au i suppose he could be doing an upside down yoga pose. that would fit irl au regis well. ugh#the better headcanon is angoulême walking in their room. going ‘[head nod up] cahir. where—‘#and cahir (not looking up) points to the ceiling on the other side of the room. also in total darkness btw no candles lit on that side#i imagine that when someone else walks to their room’s door and knocks. for example let’s say dandelion for instance#dandelion’s hardly a stranger but he did that thing where your friend stops hanging out with you because they’re busy with their gf#he knocks and immediately regis is suddenly sitting in bed like a normal person . and he put his eyeglasses on and pretended to read#oh hi dandelion i didnt recognize your footsteps#my… footsteps?#this is actually kind of bullshit though because the only person more talkative than dandelion at night is regis (angouleme close third)#so if dandelion ever wanted to discuss meaning of life at 2 am i know where he would go#sorry cahir. put a pillow over your ear#the elbow-high diaries#edit: no actually he would bother geralt with this#edit edit: no actually he and geralt were ‘on a break’ (unresolved tension) so he wouldn’t. but he would want to#angoulême goes to their room too often to chill and hang out#milva goes to their room and cahir and regis stand at attention like yes ma’am. what do you need#hi milva how are things ​(your ongoing mental health crisis)#if geralt walks in starts talking with regis. cahir leaves the room. ‘im going to um. check on the horses’#its 12 am. horses are sleeping. ? answer; he is being a considerate roommate. he had to share bunks before. he knows how It Is
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