#I wanna slap sense into this rat bastard | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

leora-rambles · 4 years

Text

Tolerant (Ghiaccio x Reader [Fluff])

Ahaha remember when I said I’d post the Ghiaccio fic two days after my last post 😎 ? Biggest lie I’ve ever told. Anyways, here’s a fluffy fic of my favourite rat bastard

———————

“They got you good, didn’t they, Ghia?”

You sighed, carrying the stubborn man over to the living room from the front door, his messy blue curls bouncing with each step you assisted him on.

Ghiaccio snarled, “First of all, it’s ‘Ghiaccio’, second of all, they were no match in the end,” He stretched his limbs before dropping onto the couch ungracefully,

“White Album absolutely kicked their shit in.” A satisfied grin grew on his lips as he relaxed onto the soft, ‘Fuckin’ pricey’ (As Ghiaccio once stated) furniture.

You always wondered how Ghiaccio’s pride was so resilient. You wondered how it stood so tall, like a skyscraper.

He was covered in wounds and bruises, yet he wasn’t drooping his head in shame. Ghiaccio could break all his bones with multiple mistakes attacking the enemy, but he’d still win the fight with his overpowering confidence.

If you were to confess your feelings towards him, how would he act? Would he still be assertive?

These thoughts invaded your mind as you scurried to the bathroom to fetch the first aid kit, also making it to the kitchen to fetch some ice.

At your arrival, you noticed Ghiaccio looking at you as if you had seven eyes and a monkey on your head. “Are you a dumbass? You know my stand ability, don’t you?” You scoffed at his remark, plopping down beside him.

Careful hands opened the first-aid kit as you replied to his rude outburst, “Of course I know about your stand ability, but I also know that you shouldn’t be using White Album now,” he sucked a breath in as you held his hand in yours.

“You need a break.”

Your words slapped Ghiaccio across the face with a feeling even he didn’t know how to describe. It was as if time had frozen for only him, enveloping his senses in tender warmth.

For the first time, the big mouthed critic was lost for words.

Ghiaccio kept his gaze on you as you lifted his ragged sleeve up, too preoccupied to notice his watchful eyes.

You picked up a cotton ball with tweezers, soaking it in alcohol before carefully dabbing it on a particularly nasty scrape you found on his forearm.

The man flinched at the first contact with the alcohol. Ghiaccio cussed under his breath as you kept working, humming a tune he didn’t recognize.

This process repeated with each scar you noticed, to Ghiaccio’s dismay. His hisses were reminiscent of a threatened street cat.

As you were wrapping the stand users arm up with bandages, you noticed the males attention on your lips.

“You alright?” Those words seemed to break Ghiaccio out of his daze.

His blush rivalled the vibrancy of his glasses, “Yeah, I’m fucki—.” The bruise on the corner of his lip stung with his harsh pronunciations, causing him to wince. His adrenaline had died down, and he was beginning to feel every bruise he was given.

Ghiaccio could feel his heart thump loudly as you suddenly cradled his cheeks in your palms, bringing his face closer to yours.

He felt dizzy. Both your breaths mingled for a second or two until you finally spoke,

“Ah, sorry. I didn’t notice that on your lip.”

Pulling away, you grabbed another cotton ball with Ghiaccio attempting to fight his racing pulse beside you. He tried controlling his breathing once you pulled him close once more.

The stand user thought he was being slick, but in reality, his emotions were easier to read than a book with size 68pt font. He was inching his face closer to yours with the hopes that you wouldn’t notice— or, that you would notice and take initiative.

He melted into your touch as you carried his face, resting his right cheek onto your left palm before you moved your hands’ position.

“Are you fucking done yet?”

“I can’t treat your face properly if I rush, idiot. Hold still.” His chin on your hand, Ghiaccio found it hard not to stare at your face. He strained his eyes trying to look at anything else, but your face was blocking most of his peripheral vision.

The alcohol-soaked cotton ball stung at Ghiaccio’s busted lip. He tried his best to stay quiet as you worked, but he couldn’t help the growing blush on his cheeks.

Your fingers felt so delicate against his cool skin, and your thumb would often run against his bottom lip a few times.

With how close you were to him right now, he would only need a small push to have his bruised lips come crashing on to yours.

Ghiaccio’s eyes widened as he realized what he was thinking about.

He shook his head lightly, as if to dispose of the thoughts running through his mind—

“Ah shit—!” You flinched as the male rubbed at the back of his head.

“Damn...” Ghiaccio felt the bump on the back of his head. He looked up at you pleadingly, eyeing the bag of ice in your hands.

You ran your fingers through his disheveled blue curls to find the bump he was talking about, causing Ghiaccio to pleasantly shiver then wince. ‘Injury after injury.’ You thought dolefully, a bit angry he was constantly getting hurt, yet blew it off as if his injuries meant nothing.

It hurt a bit, because to you, his injuries meant everything.

You cared for the blue icy moron, even when he was being an uncontrollable madman.

You wanted to lecture him for hours about how you cared for him his health, and how he needed to be less audacious.

But if he was going to act like his nearly fatal actions were nothing, then you’d do your best to act unaffected.

“Jeez, Ghiaccio, how are you even awake right now?”

“It’s not that bad, don’t act like I’m a child.”

“The bump is huge.”

Although the male acted as if he hated your attentiveness, he secretly (and he’d rather DIE than let you find out) enjoyed your worries with him.

Ghiaccio adored the tender attention you gave him, he wanted nothing more than to lay with you while you comb your fingers through his hair.

He wanted to hear you beam his name everyday with a sweetness only you had.

He wanted you to look at him like there was no other person on earth.

The male looked up at you as you held the ice pack on the back of his head. You were checking the time on your watch, estimating what time Ghiaccio should be allowed to fall asleep.

‘His complexions the same, and he hasn’t puked yet,’ You thought carfully, watching the clock tick from 1:59 am to 2 am, ‘He should be able to sleep in 10 minutes.’

Though your mind was in one place, Ghiaccio’s was in another. The stand user coughed to get your attention, and catch your attention he did.

“Will you take me to bed already?”

You both drowned in the thick, honey-like silence after his sentence. The atmosphere went heavy with the suffocating awkwardness.

It wasn’t a weird thing to say, honestly. He wanted to go to bed. He was tired. But the way he said it, and the fact that it was coming from him, your crush of several months— it just caught you off guard.

You could see for a whole 5 seconds, Ghiaccio had stopped thinking.

The male shook his head as a way to clear his mind, his words coming out in well hidden panic.

“I wanna fucking rest, don’t be thinking provocatively.” Ghiaccio spat, nearly stuttering over his words as he struggled to maintain eye contact with you.

“It’s alright with me, as long as you don’t fall asleep for a few minutes.” You replied after a playful sigh, supporting the male over to his bedroom.

Ghiaccio groaned once he hit the bed. He sensed all of the tenseness melt off of his limbs, and he could feel himself getting drowsy with each second. The stand user was sure he would’ve fallen asleep if it weren’t for the hard flick your index finger delivered to his forehead.

Maybe that was a bit much, but your patience waved goodbye and exited the door at that moment.

He screeched as you threatened to deliver another flick, “What the hell was that for?!” you growled in response to his carelessness. “You can’t sleep yet, idiot.”

Ghiaccio clicked his tongue in response, grumbling as he sat up on his bed.

His mouth opened and closed like a trash can, as if he wanted to snap back, but was too frustrated to think of something.

“I’m staying here for a bit,” You plopped down on his bed, crossing your legs and grabbing a book on his bedside table, “I’ll tell you when you can fall asleep.” He leaned on his bed frame, scoffing,

“Fine.”

You sensed that Ghiaccio was beginning to get restless, he was shifting around more, and his grumbles were that of boredom. Coughing, you decided to strike up a conversation.

“How did you defeat the enemy earlier?”

The blue haired man stared at you apathetically before mumbling, “I found a weak spot with his attacks. He only jabbed with his left arm, so I ducked to his right side then froze both his arms off.” You nodded your head, already losing interest in the book and shutting it close. Who the hell reads a dictionary to bed anyways?

“That’s brutal. How did you get so beat up, though?” “His partner ended up sneaking behind me, and they were a much better fighter compared to him.”

Ghiaccio fiddled with his fingers for a split second, something very out of character coming from him, “Of course, no one could ever defeat my White Album, now they’re both probably in a ditch somewhere.”

You shuddered at the image of two unfortunate proxies, most likely dead in a secluded area.

You tried to be empathetic with them, but found it difficult concerning that they managed to mess Ghiaccio up this much.

Did they really deserve your empathy?

Your informal patient was eyeing you during your thinking, causing a brilliant idea to pop into your mind; tease him.

Why? Well, the whole squad had been teasing you about your attentiveness to the blue idiot, and it was time to let it out on said idiot. It was basically a cycle of bullying.

If you had to experience all that embarrassment because of him, then he should have a taste of his own medicine. Was it his fault that the Squad was full of assholes? Not necessarily, but you had to get your revenge somehow.

A grin adorned your lips as you leaned in closer to the Stand user, “I’ve noticed, you’re a lot more tolerant towards me than towards the others,” Your voice dropped a few notes, in a way you knew would fluster someone.

“Why is that, Ghia?” The aforementioned male scrunched his nose, cheeks and ears slowly reddening. “I don’t. I treat everyone the same.” He huffed out, obviously flustered.

A giggle rose in your throat, “Fine, then. Is it alright with you if I were to sleep here?” His eyebrows tilted downwards as his lips formed a deeper scowl. “I don’t care, do whatever.” The way his eyes jumped around the room rapidly contradicted his statement.

“Would you ever let any of the other members share a room with you?”

“No, they annoy me, and most don’t know what basic hygiene is.”

“How come you’re letting me sleep here?”

Ghiaccio grumbled something under his breath before laying down and facing the other way, chucking his glasses on his nightstand. You laughed lightheartedly, deciding to stop your teasing to slip into the covers as well.

“You can sleep now, anyways—“ eyes fluttering, you inhaled the strong scent of fabric softener in the mans blankets, “—rest well, Ghia.”

A harsh yawn escaped Ghiaccios mouth as he stretched, confusion clouding his mind as he felt his limbs intertwined with another.

He brushed his messy blue curls to the side before looking down, only to feel a warmth form from the inside of his chest travel all the way to his cheeks. Ghiaccio laid still as he admired the view of your arms wrapped around his torso.

The sunlight dodging his thin curtains hit your face with perfection, giving your skin a royal-like glow. Your eyelashes fluttered with each breath you took, leaving the blue haired male speechless.

His arm had become numb from your head laying on top, and he was tempted to slip it away to shake off the static, but you just looked so peaceful.

Ghiaccios breath halted as you buried your face farther into his chest. He apologized to his arm with the intent of keeping it there for the rest of your sleep.

Though he wanted to rise up from bed, the thought of being under the covers with you seemed more enticing the more he reasoned.

‘There are no cons to staying in bed just a little bit longer,’ Ghiaccio rationalized. You let out a sleepy grumble, causing the male to finalize his decision. Ghiaccio leaned his cheek down on the top of your head, shutting his eyes in pure, cozy bliss.

Maybe you were right about him being more tolerant towards you after all.

325 notes · View notes

cattywh0mpus · 3 years

Text

This is the most personal thing I have ever fucking posted anywhere and I hope this gets buried quick but also iduno maybe other people will relate and it’ll help them maybe or make them worse i am going to regret this the second I hit post

Ps- nobody freak out I am like, safe and not in danger lmao just fyi

TW: so many. Uh angst, mention of self harm, implied suicide/death, lots of very bad profanity, depression, anxiety, bad poetry, abuse of rhyming scheme, rhyming best with best, way too long, dude don’t read this

I have things to do, a whole list of things I wanna do inside my head and none of them are this stupid poem, and it fills me with such dread Because it’s well into the evening and I’ve yet to leave my bed And I know that I’ll still be fucking tweaking this at 3am instead Of fucking sleeping or drinking water or taking any of my meds And I’ll keep doing it for 15 years until I’m fucking dead because

My brain is a bastard. My brain is a creep. It haunts me in the daytime, but sometimes it doesn’t when I sleep And I would sleep maybe forever if it wasn’t for this fucking spark That forces me to think of pretty things and lanterns in the dark And things I could be fucking making, frogs and gardens and dumb art Please God, it’s not what I begged for, I didn’t want to build this ark But I know without it, I would fucking drown in piss and fall apart

My brain is an asshole. My brain is a cunt. But please don’t let the language scare you, i’m just putting up a front Because I’m a lot more sad than angry and a lot more “used to it” than sad And my only outlet is the things I make although they’re fucking bad And I try to offer it some better things, with better outcomes to be had it slaps them out of my fucking shaking hands, it’s obsessions ironclad I just wanted to be healthy, helpful, and do things with my fucking dad but

My brain is a monster. My brain is a freak. It’s supposed to be a tool I use, but instead it’s using me Piloting me like a god damn gundam made out of bones and fucking meat And I’m powerless to stop it, though I kick and bite and scream Or I used to, I fucking swear I did, but now I mostly lay around and dream Of a day when I can do the things I like without injesting fucking speed

My brain is a liar, but fucking so am I. I craft such stupid fucking stories for me to crawl under and hide (somehow more believable than the truths I tell, how and fucking why?) I’m so embarrassed by it’s actions, I need to believe they aren’t mine It’s my brain, that son of a bitch, making me out to be a bad, bad guy Making my chest and heart and lungs get tied up in it’s vicious lies Forcing my mouth to spout such bullshit and waterboard my fucking eyes Sometimes I honestly believe it’s honest, and not a coward in disguise It’s last name is Puzzle, it’s all a game to it, shame and panic is the prize

My brain is a shit. My brain is a turd. It convinces me I’m dumb and mute whenever I’m desperate to be heard Sometimes I feel like a prisoner, a fat cow separated from the herd I’d do anything (that i’m able) to be the cage around the bird I need to fucking rebel, so I promise I won’t write another fucking word

...BUT MY BRAIN’S A FUCKING SHITEATING COCKSUCKING PRICK because my brain’s a fucking cannibal and it makes me fucking sick I want to tear it out by it’s ugly fucking stem and smash it with a brick No more executive dysfunction, no more confusion, no more fucking tricks Just the thought of being fucking rid of it gets me so fucking slick But my mommy would be sad, so you win this round, you fucking dick

But one day you’ll be a goner, a rotting, ruined mass So one day when no one’s looking, you had better watch your wrinkled ass And less and less people are watching, so you better think fucking fast Before I put your hippocampus in a headlock, and your neocortex in a cast There’s one thing I’m fucking certain of, your reign won’t fucking last Because thank god nothing is permanent, even this will come to pass And then we’ll be like all the other graveyard corpses, fucking normative at last

...Okay, listen brain I’m sorry. Maybe that was too intense? But you’re making me so fucking stupid, you make me make no fucking sense I’ve tried so hard to fucking work with you, to compromise, hence The doctors appointments and the pills and everything at great expense But you make me miss all my appointments and forget to take my meds And what’s the point of the watch that reminds me if you are too fucking dense To remember to put it on in the mornings, you make everything so tense Just like you strain my boyfriend’s wallet with every wasted fucking cent And sometimes it feels like none of it has even made a fucking dent Because my wisdom tooth is still rotting and my funny bone is spent My brain is the worst fucking tenant, and it doesn’t even pay the rent

My brain is a failure, but my brain tries it’s best. To distract me from the everything, to give me fucking rest But all it really does is hinder me, I’m never at my best. It thinks it’s doing something good for me, but i’m not fucking impressed The days go by so fucking quickly and I’m just as quick to fucking forget Every memory like busted christmas lights, a tangled useless mess Something that once brought such happiness but now it’s just a pest I need an exterminator in my synapses, because they’re a fucking rat’s nest I haven’t seen my friends in so so long, It puts our friendship to the test But I never wanted to fucking test them, I just want this shit to end I need a coping mechanism on which I can actually depend I’ve lost my appetite for grief eating, my emotional support animals were hens But bandits slaughtered them for funsies, so now it’s just an empty pen And I was never one for self harm, though I tried it way back when But now every time I see the burn, I have to think of it again? Which seems counter fucking productive.. hey, do you think you maybe can Stop me from doing all this fucking rambling? Though it’s been tried by better men...

I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, but I can’t speak for it I’m not sure if it is sorry, cuz it’s such a fucking tit But I am trying to be better, and I won’t hate you if you split Because I wish I could bail everyday, and I don’t wanna be a hypocrite I’ll still love you, i’ll still love you, (if i remember you that is) And I’ll keep wishing every day that I can find the strength to fucking quit. Every day, every minute, holy shit.

4 notes · View notes

idiots-stick-together · 4 years

Text

𝒞𝒽𝒾𝓁𝒹𝒽𝑜𝑜𝒹 𝒲𝑜𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇𝓈 𝐼

Headcannon/Shortstory: The Candy Shop: Lemonhead!

How you met Toga + started a ‘relationship’!

• Warnings: Blood (duh), Violence, Stalking •

Fluff (🍯) [’fluff’ in Toga’s definition]

❤️️ Reader Type: Feminine (She/Her/They/Them), Any race, is 15! ❤️️

Near the busted buildings decorated with broken glass and rats, was a little shop that sold candy, “Childhood Wonders” This shop is run by a grandfather that would do anything for his family. Though, with pesty kids stealing his candies, business is being put in financial turmoil. The local kids have been stealing POUNDS of candy every week. However, what can a 68-year-old do? Call his grandchild for help of course! He had to bribe them with a few bucks, but she’s here now, and armed with a broom!

But...they might have a weakness for blondes...

-Meeting her:

🩸 After you bop the stubborn kids on the head with the broom, they finally dropped the candy and ran! Like the cowards they are!

🔪 However, if you thought the rounds of kids were done...ya’ might wanna recheck the left side of your brain, because you might need to bop common sense back into it.

🩸 After collapsing into the chair behind the counter, the sound of glass shattering energizes you up again! You get the half-functional broom and rush over there.

🔪 The blonde slowly turns around with smeared chocolate around her lips and hands. After you tighten the grip of your thief-repellent-weapon, you STRIKE!

🩸...out. You struck out...ya’ might of got your shit rocked...this chick has strength!

🔪 You cover your stomach to feel a wet spot developing, red and dripping onto the floor...ah...uh oh. Yup, issa knife.

🩸 Your heart is racing, yet you don’t and can’t back down! This is your livelihood! This shop has helped the whole family, plus your grandpa isn’t here right now. So, someone has to handle this situation!

🔪 Luckily, you have a quirk! You ‘disappear’. She is swiping all around her now. You run around her and strike!

🩸 You both paint the floors with smooshed chocolates and rolling gumballs. The place is trashed, as you both fight. The bastard even bites you a couple of times!

🔪 After a while, you both are bruised and bleeding, yet she doesn’t give up! However, you don’t really have a choice but to collapse.

🩸 She stares down at you and blanks a couple of times, before dropping a lot of candy onto your face. She still takes a couple of pieces of candies though.

🔪 You push yourself up enough to hold onto her legs and dig into her legs with your nails. She will tumble down a bit and try to kick you.

🩸 FINALLY, THE COPS APPEAR FROM THE ALARMS IN THE STORE. You release her as the cops rush into the building. She rushes out the building through the back door.

🔪 Some cops will put pressure on the cuts and gashes. Your grandpa was called and you were mindfucked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Acquaintances:

🩸 Now, weeks have passed and you were home recovering. Though, with your luck, your grandpa was sick. So, you stepped up and took care of the shop again. However, you came prepared! Yes, even you use knives!

🔪 After a few minutes, a blonde girl stands at the door. She has high knee socks on with holes, her skirt was a school skirt, and her shirt was covered in dirt. She smirks at you with her hands in her pockets.

🩸 You lock the door and flick her off. She stares at you for hours...seriously...the whole shift.

🔪 You stay on the phone with the cops and eagle watch her. Yet, she does nothing. When the cops arrive, she leaves.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your Stalker...:

🩸 Every shift, you get chills. After giving some homeless kids some candy, something your grandpa disagrees with, the blonde is back! In front of you...

🔪 Before getting your phone, she slams candy onto the counter. She stares at you with a blank stare. You slowly grab the candy. She leaves the shop...this becomes a routine.

🩸 Apparently, this candy is from this store, yet you will never know where she gets this from....why steal from here and not eat the stolen goods??

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Friend?:

🔪 After this action, the store starts to see an improvement in income. Especially since you and her scare off the thieves! Yup, TOGETHER. How did this happen? You don’t know.

🩸 She is helping the business out now...yet she is still creepy. She stands behind you and breathes down your neck sometimes.

🔪 Now, you start to notice your boyfriends/girlfriends ‘disappearing’. Also, your crushes avoiding the hell out of you. Is it because you are unattractive...? Who knows! Toga knows! 👀

🩸 She starts to slowly become a business partner and friend??? A friend that comforts you through each “breakup”. A friend that asks to drink your blood and taste your blood...you pass this as a joke until you see her eyes darken...

🔪 Also, you notice your missing clothes from the house, especially your panties!?! Oh, also your open window, every night. Even when you lock it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your Friend! (and personalized ‘sleep buddy’ COUGH-stalker...):

🩸 Ever feel lonely? Not anymore! She is always with you in the shop...and around the city, but you don’t need to know that!

🔪 Since the business is succeeding more than ever, your grandpa finally met her. If you dare to tell him about who injured you months ago, she will stab you. Maybe even sabotage your grandpa’s business. So, you keep quiet...yet, were you even gonna tell on her in the first place?? Isn’t she your friend...?

🩸 Your grandpa lets you and her have a sleepover at his house. She takes your clothes, as she doesn’t bring anything with her. You’ll have to share your toothbrush too! So...good luck with cleaning your toothbrush.

🔪 Your grandpa will definitely questions her lifestyle. She wouldn’t respond.

🩸 Also, you HAVE to share a shower with her, you don’t have a choice. She will behave and even compliment your body.

🔪 When you try to guide her around the house, she says “I know!” and walks into your room. She even places her dirty clothes into my laundry basket, the one that is in my closet, your closed closet...ok...

🩸 When you two are getting ready to go to bed, she will cuddle the hell out of you. If you need to get something, she’ll get it for you, with her hand gripping onto yours. Need to pee? TOO BAD.

🔪 Snack wrappers will be covering you two. Which would knock you out, but she will keep bothering you until she gets a goodnight kiss. A kiss on the cheek will send her up a wall! Lips? You wanna smash?!? (She’s joking! Unless...) But, seriously she is extremely happy on both offers.

🩸 When you have to go to school, she will help you get ready. She will claim to be from your school, you give her a spare uniform and go to class with her. Your grandpa will be suspicious, but won’t question it. Each class will be with her!

🔪 The teachers are confused...yet her name is on the role...so yeahhh...you don’t have any space anymore.

🩸 She is crushing your hand as you talk to your friends. Yet, they like her! She is entertaining and rebellious but protective of you. Any bullies? They are on the news being reported as dead. You definitely question that. She shrugs and ignores this conversation.

🔪 Your friends are now her friends! You all form a group that dances to Tik-toks and laughs at trash memes. You all create an Instagram account for her, “(Y/N)’sWife” She can’t help but tease you if you blush. Your friends join in and eventually actually ship you too!

🩸 She posts you a lot on her Instagram, she makes edits of you as well. Oh yeah, she uses your phone to do all of this. Since she doesn’t have a phone. Or house. Or family...

🔪 Yeahhhh, she finally opens up to you completely when her feelings are overflowing for you~

🩸 After learning that she is homeless, you question how she is in school without someone over 18. She uses fake IDs and documents to enter schools. Well, that’s...depressing.

🔪 You can’t leave her in this condition! So, your grandpa adopts her! But, her feelings are conflicted now...you are one of her family members now. Yet, she can’t see you in that way, she loves you. Do you love her???

🩸 When she hits you with that question, you freeze. No matter how you respond, she will either be ecstatic and smother you with kisses, or blankly stare at you and push harder. You will eventually understand that you love her. You just need a push...you will break.

Hers:

🔪 Flowers will be an everyday accessory! She will cover your room in half-dead flowers, she expects kisses for this effort.

🩸 Your grandpa will have already seen this coming, he was like “finally.”

🔪 Dates are usually ending in you two running from the cops, she might have tried to rob a flower shop for you...

🩸 You definitely slap her upside her head, but she keeps causing trouble, “ACCEPT MY LOVE!” as she hands you the head of someone that didn’t give you the right condiments for your sandwich.

🔪 Her murderous tendencies are very apparent...but it’s for you. It’s always for you. So, is it really bad??

🩸 If you have periods, she will be massaging your stomach, hold a heating pad against your stomach, kiss the tears off your face, run to the store to grab pads, and help you keep hydrated and fed. Even if her pancakes are uncooked, her bacon is burnt, and her eggs are bland, it’s made out of love!

🔪 She gets along with your grandpa easily, you haven’t seen your grandpa smile and laugh this much before. You three have movie nights and cook together sometimes. Toga may cry if he praises her. Please don’t tease her or mock her for that, she was never really shown love growing up.

🩸 You two are lovely-dovely everywhere, even if PDA doesn’t make you comfortable. She will force you onto her lap or cuddle you shamelessly.

🔪 The school is completely annoyed, yet your friends keep hyping you two up. You two even have a Tik-Tok following, 5k. You two are the “It” couple!

🩸 Before bed Toga makes sure to tell you how much she loves you. Please do the same, she is devoted to you!

🔪 After a couple of months, she will try to be intimate with you. If you don’t want that, she will NEVER force you into that act. If you do want that, you will be covered in cuts and love bites. Your grandpa might try to put mosquito repellent on you.

🩸 When you are almost done with high school, she will become more distant and secretive.

🔪 After laying in complete silence, she will confess to a mistake.

🩸 You will be staring at her with your heart racing. Cheating?? Lost interest??? Nope, she joined the L.O.V.

🔪 Oh...that’s it??? She will be surprised by that reaction. I mean she KILLS people, this isn’t the most surprising news. Yet, you will try to convince her to complete school and achieve higher goals.

🩸 She will consider it...but for now, you and her are apart of a new family. Don’t worry if someone touches you or threaten you, they will die. Even if it means dying for you. As long as she knows that you love her, and she gets to see your smile before dying, it would be worth it. You will always be worth it.

🔪 When your grandpa dies, you two will be over 18. You two will be upset, yet Toga will ground you. She is there for you. She knows what it’s like to lose the only person that cared for you. She will steal two lockets and cut out pictures of the three of you. The heart-shaped lockets will persevere the loving and accepting nature of your grandpa. So, you two agree to never let the shop close. You two only the shop and even made more shops around the community. The homeless kids are given free candy every day. Toga made a charity for kids that don’t have parents, it helps them achieve education and help them get adopted into loving families.

🩸 She opens up to you more about her childhood and her feelings. Even though the public views her as a heartless villain, she will always be apart of your heart.

🔪 Without each other, you two would be incomplete. You make her want to do better...maybe finish school and go to college...marriage...kids...many possibilities. But, for now, she wants to protect and love you. She’ll get better, she’ll do better, with you.

———————————————————————

In conclusion, 10/10 girlfriend! That is completely loyal to you, just be comfortable with sharing underwear and saliva! ❤️

#toga x reader #himiko x reader #toga himiko #bhna x reader #bhna headcanons #himiko toga x reader

20 notes · View notes

sea-side-scribbles · 4 years

Text

Fanfiction: Sympathy For A Downer

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22737214/chapters/56945809

Chapter 14:

Nick fled with Morrie behind the stage and let him lead the way, because he was way clearer in the head and more likely to be trusted than Nick himself. When they saw Virgil standing at a doorway and waving them over they didn’t hesitate to run in. When they slammed the door behind them, the band was complete. Nick, who was out of breath from the fight, the concert, and their flight, sank into a chair. He felt the gazes of the others on him and avoided it to look at anyone.

„Nick, what the hell was that?“, Chris blurted out.

„Where did this downer came from?“, Brad shouted.

„Was it planned? Because I think I saw you talking to him,“ Matthew wanted to know.

They all spoke at once and drilled Nick with questions, who was just as confused as them.

In fact, he was completely innocent of this whole incident and he could simply say so. But then again, he wasn’t as innocent as he should be, because he couldn’t hurt the downer. He probably fooled the fans, but he couldn’t fool his friends, who had seen everything from up close. They had seen him talk. They would ask questions he didn’t want them to ask. And apart from himself, also Arthur could get into trouble for this. What if they tried to seek him out?

„The downer wasn’t real“, Nick finally said. „He was only an actor I hired as a highlight for our show.“

„Seriously? Why didn’t you tell us anything?“, Matthew was not amused.

„Uh…it was a surprise…just a spontaneous idea I had…“ Nick stuttered, trying to not make it worse.

„Spontaneous idea?“, Morrie snapped. „You could’ve ruined the entire show with this!“

„Come on, Morrie, look on the bright side!“, Nick tried a smile. „We had great concerts by the hundred, but this one is special! It’s gonna be in the press! Everyone will talk about it!“

„That’s true, the fight was kinda cool,“ Chris admitted.

„And the bobby? Why did you attack him too?“ Morrie went on, causing Nick to sink down in his chair.

„Because he was interfering,“ he said as if he was pouting. „Blame him if anyone, he’s the reason why the stage is stormed right now.“

„It could’ve helped to tell him in advance!“

„So that he can cancel the show or tell everyone it’s fake? This could’ve ruined us too!“

„You should’ve told us at least!“, Matthew said again.

Nick felt more and more driven into a corner and send a pleading look to Virgil, who was still standing at the doorframe.

His manager made a few steps towards Nick. „I agree,“ he said. „I see that you’ve brought us attention, but it was a high risk and I would’ve liked to know in advance.“

Nick sighted. It was five against one right now.

„Hey, nothing bad happened. At least well be famous overnight,“ he pointed out the positive things.

„We? We didn’t get the chance for a cool showdown, it was only you. I would’ve liked to kick a downer’s ass!“, Brad countered.

„Believe me, I know, but I could’t bring five downers at the stage, all by coincidence! It had to look real.“

Nick glanced around and looked into their disappointed faces. He couldn’t blame them and he wished he could tell them the truth.

„I…guess you’re right…“, Nick said meekly. „I thought it’s fun. I swear, that was the last time I played a lone hand, okay? I’m sorry.“

They seemed to be okay with this, even though they remained somewhat sore. But the heat had died down and When the masses had left the area they left too, heading back to the hotel.

When the others spread out and went into their rooms Virgil stayed with Nick, who wasn’t up for a rant but knew he would make it worse if he ditched him now.

„What a sleeky bastard you are,“ Virgil started and Nick was surprised that he sounded rather amused.

„You can fool the others but I know what happened.“

Nick stared at him.

„You…you know?“, he stammered in disbelief.

Virgil nodded and smiled slightly.

„I know the way you’re thinking. You saw how much fame you brought Birdie with your little tantrum and you wanted to correct that.“

„I know it was a bad idea,“ Nick answered quickly, trying to fob him off.

„Nonsense, it wasn’t bad. The realization was a bit clumsy, but dramatic enough to gain us headlines, maybe even the front page. I bet someone took a photo of your fight.“

Nick had to admit that he liked that. And wouldn’t it be funny to have Arthur on the front page?

„So…you liked it?“

„Yes. But I still wonder why you didn’t tell me anything. Is it because of Birdie? Are you afraid I’ll rat you out?“

„You could do that,“ Nick said, even though he trusted Virgil. „I’m not naive, you know?“

„Nick, I won’t play you off against each other. If you want a spectacular show, I won’t ruin it for you. I’m actually glad that you have plans again. I was worried about you and I missed the old Nick.“

„Thanks, Virgil, I’m so glad to have you,“ Nick sighted and Virgil gave him a pat on his back.

„Sleep tight, Nickie. And keep your head clear, I need you in a good shape tomorrow.“

„Of course. Good night, Virgil.“

Nick walked along the corridor to Morrie’s room, relieved that he got off so cheaply, and knocked on the door.

„Morrie? It’s me. Are you awake?“

When Morrie came out he gave Nick a gloomy look.

„What?…“ Nick began, but then fell silent.

„That was…really fucked up, sorry for swearing. I thought you understood that we’re a team now…“ Morrie was still very sore.

„I’m sorry…I relapsed…“ Nick stuttered and looked at Morrie with pleading eyes.

„Right now, it was the dumbest idea you could have. Don’t you know your reputation is at stake?“, the other man snapped.

„Of course I know,“ Nick was offended. „Why do you think did I wanted a special show?“

„I’m not talking about your fame, I mean…“, he paused, searching for words.

„What?“, Nick urged him.

„The murders, Nick,“ Morrie whispered. „You know they happened, right?“

„Murders again? Would you please tell me what they got to do with me?“, Nick hissed in frustration and Morrie sighted and shook his head.

„Alright, the bloke from the O’Courant who trashed your last record was found dead in the park. Bobbies told us it was an accident but they also swarmed the place and fenced it off for days. A bit elaborate for a simple accident, don’t you think?

The next is only two days ago: Bates, the owner of the music shop, who hated you in general and refused to sell you anything, was found dead in the shop. Rumors say he was sliced open, with the guts hanging out. His wife found him like that.“

„Bates…he’s dead?“, Nick stuttered, having a hard time to follow. „I didn’t know this…“

„You see the problem now? It looks like there’s someone slaughtering your enemies, and then you’re playing the butcher on stage.“

„But…it was only a downer!“, Nick said meekly.

„And the bobby? You looked like you’re about to kill him. If I didn’t stop you….“. Morrie paused and gave him a really concerned look.

„I just…didn’t want him to hurt my actor,“ Nick defended himself. „The rest was only jokes. I guess I went a bit off the rails with my own acting.“

Nick tried a smile again but Morrie only furrowed his brows.

„I’m not a killer,“ Nick pleaded. „Morrie, you know me!“

„I know,“ Morrie sighted. „You can be cruel, but not like this…Just…be careful for fuck’s sake! And let’s hope no one draws a conclusion from the show to the actual crimes.“

„It was really stupid, right?…I don’t know what’s gotten into me.“ Nick hung his head.

„Well, you have enough time to think about it now …“

„Does that mean…you wanna be alone tonight?“, Nick asked with a pleading look in his eyes.

Morrie answered with a stern gaze.

„You can’t imagine how disappointed I am,“ he hissed, „If you care at all, you’ll stay alone too, and make up your mind.“

With that, Morrie dismissed him and Nick was left to feel miserable. He didn’t want to be alone. Not with all these unpleasant things Morrie had brought up.

So there was a killer on the loose who probably went for his enemies. Just like that. Nick was shocked that this could even happen in Wellington Wells, especially with all the bobbies patrolling around. He could believe in Foggy Jack, who supposedly stayed in the large Garden District, where the fog was spreading and thicker and no one could track him down. But this new one?

Nick was also shocked to hear that Bates was dead, killed in such a cruel way. He hadn’t been a very pleasant guy, but he didn’t deserve that. It bothered Nick even more, that he had been with Kitty the same night before, without knowing how he got there. Had the killer been in the house that night? Sure, she found Bates in the shop, not in the house, so he was probably safe, but still he could slap himself for even being there then, of all possible days. If somebody found out…They suspected him anyway.

What burned in his guts was the nightmare he had experienced on stage, while standing above the bobby. Then suddenly he had felt like someone was about to die and he didn’t know what gave him that idea. It was as if he had seen the murder happen, maybe when he was with Kitty. So he only had to remember and everything would be alright again? But if that was true, why had he felt like he held a weapon in his hand? If it had been one, if his memories were trustworthy enough. Perhaps his tired brain played a trick on him and the only thing that was real was that Morrie was mad at him again.

Even though he was completely innocent, Nick thought as he walked along the corridor to his own suite.

He didn’t understand Arthur. He hadn’t reckoned to see him again so soon. It could have been a coincidence though, Arthur could’ve been there just for the music, or because everyone was there, just trying to have a good time, until he got busted. If he had kept his cover, Nick wouldn’t have noticed him at all. It made sense. So it was a coincidence. And now they wouldn’t see each other again for real, Nick thought and he felt a sting in his heart.

He hoped that Arthur made it to the exit in time. He would even visit him if he wasn’t worried that Morrie noticed he went away. And how could he explain this?

What did he even want from Arthur?

Frustrated, he slapped his forehead.

Damnit, he had to leave him alone for once, he had been obviously not interested in him. Showing up at the concert didn’t change that. If anything, they were even now. Arthur had saved his life, and now Nick had saved his. It created actually a good conclusion and they could part ways now.

Nick had to admit that he had to stop this hopeless swooning. He had had a crush on this beautiful stranger and it failed. It was before he had met Morrie again and he loved Morrie. Now, he had to prove him that he was worth a second try.

Arthur, driven by panic, was running the entire way to the exit, until he was finally out and hiding in the dark empty streets. He didn’t even need Joy to break into hysterical giggling. His sense blamed it on the shock, but his heart said that he had just witnessed real fun, something that dozens of Joy pills couldn’t give him. Of course he was glad that Nick didn’t give him a real beating for stealing his show. Instead they had just played a crazy game, that only Nick could’ve made up.

Arthur had to slump on the ground in an uncivilized way to catch his breath, thinking about how close he had come to Nick and how stunning Nick had looked on stage. How his hair had shined in the spotlight. Like caramel, Arthur thought and chuckled sillily. And Nick’s fluent movements…he had seen a lot of Wellies fight by now, and Nick’s style was definitely looking better. If only he could hit a little harder, it would be safe to have a walk with him in the Garden District…

Arthur took a deep breath when his laughing fit was fading and he couldn’t tear away from this vision.

„Just put out your little hand, my darling, one, and I’ll give you mine.“

Arthur leaned back, staring at the cloudy sky above him, wondering what he could do. Where was Nick now? He never knew where he went, when he left the tunnels. Arthur guessed his house fell flat. But someone must know where he liked to hang out, some fan or paparazzi. He had to get his hands on a newspaper tomorrow. Tonight, his only option was getting home without getting caught, so he picked himself up and sneaked along the streets.

When he rounded the corner he saw someone sitting on the ground. He flinched at first but then he found the person was harmless, probably sleeping or being a downer or both. They didn’t even move.

Walking closer, he saw it was a woman, her shoulders were shaking, and soon he heard her quiet sobs. She noticed him and gave him a frightened look. She probably believed he would attack her for crying.

„It’s okay…I’m just passing through…I haven’t seen a thing…“, he whispered to her and held up his hands to show they were empty.

She sobbed louder.

„Did you see the show?“, she asked and stared at him with wide eyes. „Did you see Nick?“

„Uh…y..yes, I saw him…“, Arthur stammered.

„How was he?“, she whimpered.

„Uhm…w…wonderful, just wonderful. I mean smashing.“

She was shaken by another crying fit, before she went on.

„I…missed him…I wish I saw him too, I’m his biggest fan you know, but…I had too much Joy…that happens to me sometimes….I wake up with a headache and a disgusting taste in my mouth and I just double the dose to feel good again…“

„That’s…nothing to worry about…people have headaches sometimes….there’s nothing wrong with you,“ Arthur tried to comfort her. Did he feel bad sometimes, while taking Joy? He didn’t remember.

„But now I missed Nickie!“, she cried, rubbing her reddened eyes.

„I believe Nick won’t hold that against you…You can still got to another concert.“

The woman shook her head.

„I don’t want to wait that long. I want to see him now and say I’m sorry.“

Arthur crossed his arms. „If only there was a way to get to him,“ he whispered more to himself than to her. „I wonder where he is now.“

„Oh, that’s an easy one, I bet he’s still in the Avalon Hotel,“ the woman said as if it was the most obvious thing and Arthur couldn’t help but stare at her.

„You mean, everyone can visit him there?“

„No silly, not everyone. Not anymore. Now that he’s famous again, he’ll pick only his biggest fans. And there was something we had to do to prove it….wait…“

Her features lightened up, as if she remembered something and then she smiled for the fist time.

„What?“, Arthur said louder than he had intended to.

„Yeah, I remember now! The offerings!“, she shouted in excitement and Arthur could only gape cluelessly. He was sure he had heard the word before but he didn’t know what it was about.

„How did that work again?“, Arthur asked, hoping that he was considered as one of his biggest fans and she would share the secret with him.

„I have to give him a present, something really precious, to show my true love. Or else he won’t shag me. This is how I’ll get him!“ She told him and then suddenly bobbed up.

„Uh…good luck then?“, Arthur said and she giggled.

„Thank you, dearie.“ She blew him a kiss. „Bye!“

Then she scooted away and left a confused Arthur, who just got everything he needed to see Nick again.

#wehappyfew #whf #we happy few #whf arthur #nick lightbearer

6 notes · View notes

hitchell-mope · 5 years

Text

Just put on the movie

And there we go. The dedication is there.

Oh god the rapping.

My palms will be bloody by the time this is over.

But I like the parallels to the first movie

To much auto tune

There goes my heart Disney.

Oh lord that’s high

Bbys. Smee twins

WHY WASNT DIZZY THERE FROM FILM TWO

There’s my child Celia

MY BOY!!!!

I mean Mal has a point.

He thinks it through

I love him so fucking much

Loving Doug’s hair

Rat bastard. Rat bitch. Rat fairy (Adam belle Verna)

Fuck off leah chad Audrey

😍😍😍😍. This version is better then d1

SUCK IT PASTEL COW

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Oh Evie love. Just tell him you love him

FUCK OFF YOU GERIATRIC BITCH

YES WE WOULD PREFER MAL TO YOU YA BITCH

I hate you Adam and belle

Ben and the other three are adorable family

Still hating Audrey. So. Fucking. Much

Love the purple limo

WHY IS TREMAINE NICE. IT MAKES NO SENSE

Bal parent vibes are strong

They shoulda painted the limo roof purple

Dying of cuteness

Proud fiancé Mal. Love it

Fuck off leah

Here’s papa hades. And the ham.

DRAGON MAL. WHOO HOO

Ah well. Nice while it lasted

NOT HER JOB PASTEL COW

So. Much. Ham.

Poor girl. Ouch.

🤮🤮🤮🤮. I still hate her and her geriatric bitch of a grandmother

Oh bitch please. First words out of your mouth were creel. And it ain’t abated

I’m supposed to be sorry for this sad act? I don’t think so

So. Much. Rapping

Oh. SPARE ME WOMAN

Still theft. Throw her on the isle with her grandmother

Lonely and friendless. Because Mal is so much better then you ya limp noodle

Gotta be bad on the back

YOU DESERVE A SLAP AROUND THE FACE YOU SPOILED BRAT

Seriously though. The actual singing is better then the rapping. So gotta give satah her dues

Fuck off grown ups.

YOU PUT THEN THERE IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACD

Blue bitch. Just like always belle

Ok. People. You can see it’s hurting bal to do this. KILL THE BEAST

DONT CRY BABY BOY. PLEASE. LAST TIME ALMOST KILLED ME

Murder. The fucking. Parents

Evie. Evie’s sensible. Listen to your sister Mal.

And here comes the guilt. Like always. The narrative blames Mal

That darn cake

Ah. Pain. Hug them now

And jump scare

Oh god. Shut up Audrey. You’re a sore loser

Eh. The prosthesis look ok

Audrey. Nutter. Ben was more then ready to start the honeymoon when Mal was a dragon. Do you really think a hag would stop him?

😂😂😂😂

Oh boy

That’s a lie and you know it bluey.

At least the bikes have an explanation

Why the red for Evie though

And the mutt speaks

Fuck off Chad. I hate you so much

This bitch again

So shrieky.

Kiss ass

Real original

Jump Jane jump!

So many neck cricks

No one tells him anything

Cella’s right Mal

Overly long gag. But cute

Awww 🥰🥰🥰🥰. At least he’s a good dad

Nice reference

And the fear mongering begins.

And here’s the cryptid. He shoulda died in it’s going down

Psycho bitch pirate whore

Cella’s a troll and I love it

The vehicle needs an oil change

At least he’s sleeping. Though that position can not be comfortable

At long last the reveal.

He’s funny. And hot. (I can see where @mochacake2016 is coming from)

We know! We know

And here’s the music

😂😂😂😂.

He’s got a point

Ok.

THERES NO PHONES ON THE ISLAND QUEEN MAL

She actually sounds like jade west here

So far. Besides the proposal. This is my favourite song. Mostly for Hades great looks. Great voice

And the tambourine

Would be better with purple and blue fire effects. But no. We can’t have nice things. They spent the budget on pirate whores make up

She’s got a point. They both do

LISTEN TO HIM

Proud papa

C’mon girl. Cry

Of course she told her sister

He’s a good king.

T-shirt should be ripped.

🤮🤮🤮🤮. Hate her so much

And. Here. We. Go.

Benny. I love you. But did you not hear what she said to Evie when you first met the vks. Of course not. You were lost in Mal’s eyes.

Oh god. PLEASE SOMEBODY GO AND MELT HER

Whore man is probably skunk drunk. Gil’s cute as ever though

Throw hook in the water. And keep it there.

🎶she’s back🎶

And there screwed

He makes feel physically sick

Uma. I love ya. But honestly. Mal owes no one anything. It’s not her job.

No it ain’t

Jay’s got a point

Oh honey

Hook. In the words of the irreverent Captain Jack Sparrow “if the bikes be crashed properly. You be crashed along with it”. Not you Gil. I like you

Mother hen strikes again. Uma ain’t buying what she’s selling

Pure child Celia. (I don’t use this very much but) Gil’s babey (it feels wrong to type£

Chicken arms. No brains. No wit. No dance skills. No rapping skills. Ya basically a walking corpse hook

The dogs giving me a nervous twitch.

I hate the pair of them so no. No sympathy for prince douche bag

Gil makes me cry so simply

Stab the pirate jay. Please. For all of us

Psycho bitch

I want. It. Dead. Brutally. Dead

And more music. If this weren’t Disney they coulda melted them yo pukes of goo and pour it down Harry’s throat.

Oh god

So she can’t count either. Just like her brother

Definitely cha cha slide.

Deep sigh

So much ham.

Here’s a funny idea. How about instead of a bloody pantomime. ACTUALLY FUCKING FIGHT YOU FECKERS

Synchronised armour dancing. That’s new

Oh for fuck sake

Ha ha. Save it for the sob story bitch

What’s next a kick line

Thank god I was wrong.

Hook should be suffocated under the armour right now. Put us out of our misery

Care bear alert

I had to have a flu jab today. And it weren’t as painful as every single nanosecond hooks on screen

Love the platonic affection (I hate the very concept of malvie. What did you expect?)

Mother alert

Don’t eat wild fruit honey

So cute. But so dumb

Oh. Phineas and Ferb reference

Awww babies.

Don’t you dare tell me Mal doesn’t care.

THEY FOUND DOUG

Uma’s so done with care bear bs

More singing. Yay(!)

Please. Remind me again exactly why this is a DCOM. Cause it honestly does not feel like it what with the backstory pirate whores entire existence and the choreography

How has evie not broken a leg in this number.

Believe me Mal and Uma. I feel your frustration they go together like peanut butter and chocolate spread. (Perfectly if you didn’t know)

Where is she going?

She knows how R&J ended right? Double suicide. Why the romanticism huh?

HE IS NOT A RAG DOLL! Though props to Zachary for not corpsing

How can you hate Doug. He’s adorable. Best straight couple ever

There’s ma boy. Rip Harry’s throyatvout plwae.

Ben’s always been hot. But this is definitely working for me.

Awww. Carlos helping his papa

Wet Ben. Yum

Awww. Janelos cuteness.

Love the beard. So good. 🤤🤤🤤🤤

Someone murder the man whore before I do.

He makes me wanna throw up. And I’m not physically capable of doing that

@rpsocsandcanonohmy. I get where you’re coming from. But I also get where Ben is coming from. Sunbeam did get him abducted. And man slut tried to feed him to sharks. So I do understand both points. Doesn’t mean you’re wrong though

JUST. EXPLAIN. HIS MIND IS BEAST ADDLED

Shoulda let Ben slash hooks throat jay. You’re slipping buddy

Mal’s eating crow

Hopefully he chad suffocates. Then she’s have done one thing that wasn’t completely worthlessly reprehensible

🎶feelings🎶

And it had to ruin it

Te-am work. As plankton says

Proud sister

Boys are back. (With dude and the mutt in tow)

YAAAAAAAAAY

I hate happy harry. But I do like happy Uma. Eh. Double edged sword

BAL THIRST. FINALLY

Shoulda gone with Janelos. Jarlos is from big time rush

Oh they’re so cute

Poor Doug.

DOUG AND GIL FRIENDSHIP.

So. Update. Might be like Mal. (Definitely loving Ben’s facial hair)

Yawning over chad. So pathetic

Her seat from him douchey mcuseless

Poor Janey

Cats outta the bag

Once again. I kinda understand all points. Yeah Mal shouldn’t have lied. But Uma didn’t really give her and choice. And Evie just kinda assumed. And no one really lets her explain anything.

Hooks still pathetic. Even hurt emotionally I still wanna punch his roger rabbit looking face (Sorry Roger)

Oh dear

Mal. Don’t apologise. You did what you felt you needed to do. And no gives you a chance to explain. Ever.

Yes. You needed to do what you could.

Excellent acting all around as usual

Evie. Look. I love you. Your favourite number seven. But WHY IS IT YOUR SISTERS JOB. WHY DOES EVERYONE MAKE IT MALS PROBLEM

Ha! Evie said it. She said family.

Oh fuck. Taken for granite

More singing.

Monster/story/invincible

I do want to stab Harry in the mouth with the hook

More flashback. Yay(.). Couldn’t they fill out the runtime

Flashbacks. TO THE START OF THE SO G THE FLASHBACK IS FROM. OH FOR FUCK SAKES

More dragon.

Audrey’s performance might make me a vegetarian

How is it not crushed by the claws?

Fire should be green

Yay. Auds dead. Please say yes?

The twins say literally one thing

From magical incantation to vaguely irritating verbal tick. Well alright then

Evie. Why do you sound so sad. It’s a good thing Audrey’s dying. The ultimate price and all that. You should be glad. It’s a good thing

Mal: he’s my father. Ben: shocked face. Me: makes a sound like a boiling kettle

Bye bye facial hair

Die slut

More eating crow

The in laws meet

Exactly hades. Exactly. Knee beast in the dick

God Ben’s so hot.

Bite Adam’s throat out please hades

Should’ve let Audrey waste away. And sent granny to Tartarus to meet her

OH SPARE ME YOUR BLEEDING HEART ROUTINE! I still hate you in a fundamental level

OH FINALLY YOU GERIATRIC BITCH

Nice little family moment

What the fuck is Evie’s dress?

Queen Mal has a very nice ring to it.

Sure you can. You owe them noting. You owe nobody anything

Jay has a pull back braid in his hair. Yay!

“Audrey would be gone”. You say it as though that’s a bad thing

“Insert woody woodpecker laugh”. Fuck you Adam

Compromise. Bring the vks over. And plop Adam Audrey chad anleah on the isle. Sink it into the ocean

Why didn’t Verna bring the barrier down. Oh yeah. Cause then she’d be useful

More singing

At least this takes place in daylight

I still hate harry

Push Harry in the drink please. IM LITERALLY BEGGING YOU

God I love Ben and Doug

Why the Charleston?

I still hate tremaine

Well. Jane. In ZM. You met Mal. She’s Carlos’s mother in this au

Giljay. It’s cute

So Harry makes me ill right upbto the end. Now he’s related to purple and blue

🎶a bitch is in the dog house🎶. And deservedly so

🤮🤮🤮🤮

Sweet little king

Oh boy

Whore has a turkey neck

This is the end. Good movie. With some unneeded bits. I’m gonna change a lot in ZM part three. And both dedications broke me.

#disney descendants #descendants 3 #anti harry x chad #anti harry x doug #anti harry x jane #harry x jay #anti harlos #anti malvie #anti haudrey #anti benrry #anti harry hook #anti audrey daughter of sleeping beauty #anti chad charming

19 notes · View notes

teresa60521-blog · 5 years

Text

Side Effects

chapter 25: 8 months

Getting back on her feet was not easy. It had been a month since the Sports Festival incident and even summer break didn’t really do much to help her recover. Her memory and vital functions were all intact yet some days Uraraka felt like she was moving through molasses. She relied on Bakugou on those days, whether it be with Kazumi or just generally supporting her, mentally and physically.

Bakugou’s guilt was haunting him. Uraraka wasn’t mad about what had happened; it was an accident, she understood. Bakugou never meant any harm when he screamed “ DIE ” and he certainly would never direct at her literally. She should’ve been on guard more. Nobody could have predicted that she would get hurt the way she did.

“I’m sorry.” Bakugou had said when she was lucid enough that afternoon.

Uraraka had squeezed his hand reassuringly while Recovery Girl had checked her. “It’s not your fault.”

“Fuck yes it is.” His eyes were ablaze and his grip had tightened to a point where it hurt. She had hissed in pain and he quickly retracted his hands, looking at them like they were foreign objects. He had retreated after that, the door slamming shut behind him before Uraraka even had the chance to comfort him.

“Boys,” Recovery Girl had shaken her head, instructing Uraraka to open her eyes wide so she could check them. Bakugou never returned, pouting in the classroom until it was ready to go home.

Kazumi was hysterical that day, only calming when she was finally in Uraraka’s arms. Her grip was so tight that Uraraka knew she would have an iron fist just like her daddy when she was grown up. Uraraka hated that she had cost her daughter so much pain when her little mind could barely even register what missing somebody was actually like. She had quieted her sobs in her bedroom, cradling her to her chest and whispering sweet nothings into her ear. It took everything in her not to cry with Kazumi. Bakugou kept his distance, though he watched over them with a guarded look in his eyes.

Going back to school that September after a break was not an easy feat. She didn’t know why she expected it to be one. Especially since she was called back into the Principal’s office. Her absolute favorite place to be. She had never been so in touch with the higher ups of a school in her life.

“You wanted to see me, Mr. Principal?” Uraraka knocked on the door and when prompted she slipped inside.

“Ah, yes, Uraraka-chan, please sit!” The Principal was sitting on his throne-like chair sipping tea. She sat primly across from him and tried not to make direct eye contact. She hated doing that in the first place, but it was a lot more intimidating when the Principal did nothing but smile.

“I wanna talk about your performance at the Sports Festival.”

The room grew impossibly thicker with tension and heat, Uraraka already sweating bullets. She was worried about what he would say next, whether or not it would be something positive. She wasn’t entirely sure he was going to be nice about it.

“A lot of the faculty here at UA have a hard time believing that you have proven you can still be a hero after having a child.” Uraraka closed her eyes. That was something she never thought she would here.

“I don’t know what to say to that, Mr. Principal.”

“Well, I suppose nothing! Haha!” The Principal cackled and loudly slurped his tea. Uraraka wanted to throw the glass, and him, against the wall. Repeatedly. Maybe she wouldn’t hold Bakugou back anymore about harming the animal in front of them. But then again, she didn’t want to be the reason Bakugou was expelled.

They had been there and almost done that, and they were holding onto every last thread they had to stay at Yuuei. Uraraka’s was thinning rapidly.

“Well, it was not all of them that suggested this.” The Principal sighed, “Eraserhead and All Might see great potential in you, Uraraka-chan. I have gotten many calls from Gunhead as well, and he’s said the same thing. Even if you were to walk away right now I think you could find a place in his firm.” There was a subtle threat in there somewhere, Uraraka could feel it.

“I am the Principal, as you know. So I have the last word,” if he could fold his hands together he would have but he only smiled foolishly at her. Uraraka braced herself. “I was going to let you go, tell you to pack your things up, but I don’t think I can justify it with one performance! Lucky you!”

Then why did you call me here? To make me feel bad about myself? Her thoughts grumbled to her. He had probably called her here so she would make the decision to leave herself. That way he wouldn’t look like the bad guy. Every meeting with the Principal just solidified her hatred for him more and more. Uraraka did not hate people that often but he really took the cake.

“Thank you, Mr. Principal.” She stood up and bowed towards him, fists tight at her side. She lowered her pride to do this. “I will work extremely hard to prove to you and the other faculty members that I have what it takes to be a great hero.”

“You are dismissed.” The Principal’s voice sounded strained, confirming her suspicions. Uraraka turned and as the door shut behind her, she smiled to herself. Talk about sticking it to the man.

She had a spring in her step as she walked towards the cafeteria, but was caught off guard when a hand grabbed her elbow and dragged her into an empty hallway.

“Jeez, you scared me.” She slapped Bakugou in the chest and resisted the urge to rest her palm there.

Bakugou scoffed. “What’d the rat say?”

“He was going to kick me out of the school.” Uraraka explained with her arms crossed over her chest. “My performance at the sports festival wasn’t impressive to him and he said a lot of the faculty didn’t believe I could be a hero and a mother at the same time. Sexist bastards.” Uraraka rarely cursed but she was fuming. The fire coursed through her veins and spread until her head was buzzing with fury. She wondered if this was how Bakugou felt all the time.

“I’ll fucking kill him.” Bakugou snarled and looked in the direction of the hallway, palms popping.

“Aizawa-sensei and All Might saved me though. They told him that they believed in me. Can you believe that? All Might?” Uraraka smiled slightly. “Gunhead too. He called the Principal and said nice things about me.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that they were going to kick you out of school. What the fuck is that about? That’s such bullshit! You held your own! It was my damn fault that you were hurt in the first place.” Bakugou slammed his fist against the wall and didn’t so much as grimace. He touched her cheek with his free hand, palms still a little damp with nitroglycerin from the explosion. Uraraka leaned into his touch, ignoring the chemical.

“You’re gonna show all those motherfuckers they’re wrong, yeah?” Bakugou lowered his forehead to hers. It reminded her of when she gave birth to Kazumi, looking into his eyes and telling him and herself that she was strong enough to do this.

“Yeah.” She said confidently and smiled at him. Bakugou grinned, a bit lopsided but it was a grin. Then he kissed her in the darkened hallway; it was almost comical how romantic is seemed to be.

When they parted, Uraraka didn’t want to go to the cafeteria. She wanted to stay in their own little world together, in this hallway. It was them against the world there. At least, that’s how she felt.

“We should eat.” Uraraka said, taking his hand and dragging him out of the hallway.

Of course they were teased for “taking so long” when they got back to the cafeteria. The banter mostly came from Kirishima and Kaminari, Sero joining in when he saw fit. The two of them (Bakugou and Uraraka) hadn’t known when it happened but the two of their groups had slowly began to merge tables, Midoriya sitting at the far end with Todoroki, while Bakugou sat with Uraraka at the opposite end. She loved that they could all get along (mostly) and genuinely enjoyed the “idiot” trio’s company. Kirishima had her crying laughing more times than she could count.

“Okay, but when are we going to be over to see that baby of yours? I miss her! I gotta be the best uncle.” Kirishima asked and grinned.

“You’re welcome whenever you want.” Uraraka said. It was a little bit of a lie. With her head still a little bit iffy, headaches and migraines were more frequent. But she would just pawn them off on Bakugou if she could.

“Um, I think the fuck not.” Bakugou shook his head. “I don’t want you asswipes in my house ever again.”

“Aw come on man, last time it was fun! We got you a gift!” Kaminari whined.

“Yeah and we had clean your shit up when you all left.” Bakugou snapped.

Iida cleared his throat. “Excuse me, but Midoriya and I helped.”

“Yeah and that’s all you’re good for.” Bakugou grumbled.

“Don’t be such a grumpy pants, man.” Kirishima clapped him on the back. “We’ll bring snacks and we can watch your kid for you! You don’t look like you sleep enough. Babies are supposed to scream all night, right?”

“You have no idea.” Uraraka cut in before Bakugou could give a sarcastic response. She could use the help and she really did want to get Kazumi used to being around more people. Kazumi was growing to be a little bit a show off, crawling all over the place and picking things up that she shouldn’t. She was definitely Bakugou’s child in that sense. Mitsuki had showed her tons of pictures of a baby Katsuki getting into places that he was not supposed to be. Like cabinets. Or the toilet.

Uraraka had asked for a personal copy of that one. Bakugou was less than pleased.

“I don’t give a shit if we need the help, you’re not gonna fucking babysit. Ever.” Bakugou ran his fingers through his hair.

Kirishima pouted. “I’d be a great babysitter!”

“Yeah? You gonna change her diaper?”

Kirishima blanched.

Bakugou snorted in triumph. “Yeah, that’s what I thought, Hair for Brains.”

“We can just hang out though! All of us! And the baby.”

“Maybe not all of you…” Uraraka didn’t want to overwhelm Kazumi too much. A good three or four people coming over at a time wouldn’t be too bad. But more than that would result in a cranky Kazumi. She wasn’t too good with social interactions yet and Uraraka was determined to not have her daughter end up like Bakugou in that regard. Hating everybody. She wanted her daughter to be able to make more friends than enemies.

Bakugou was actually doing well in that regard lately though. He no longer complained about Uraraka’s group of friends sitting with them at lunch. Most of the time anyway.

“You guys can come over today,” Bakugou huffed, “if you fucking promise not to do anything stupid while Kazumi is around.”

Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero all swore on their hearts that they wouldn’t do “anything stupid.” Whatever that meant. Though some promises were meant to be broken and Uraraka had no doubt that something would definitely go wrong that afternoon. She was just glad that she would miss the disaster (hopefully) as she had her internship with Gunhead.

She definitely felt like she was improving in that regard and was glad that Gunhead had vouched for her. It was still unbelievable that All Might had as well but she felt a sense of honor that not many other people could say they’ve felt. The former number one hero was still an important figure in any aspiring hero’s life and All Might was one of her many inspirations.

Her session with her pro hero went well that day. She was feeling good about it. Uraraka was getting better at being able to defend herself and being on the offensive. She’d landed a bunch of hits on the other interns and Gunhead himself.

“I’m so glad to see your progress, Uraraka-chan!” Gunhead praised. “Don’t forget to send me cute pictures of that munchkin of yours!” Uraraka could practically see the cutesy background fluttering around him. She made the promise with a smile and a nod and went to change back into her uniform. She kind of hoped her friends weren’t still at their (yeah, their ) house when she got back because she was sweaty and tired and just wanted to be with her boyfriend and her daughter.

But, that was not what she got.

Instead Uraraka was greeted first by the image of Bakugou looking a mix of distressed and pissed and Uraraka immediately thought something was wrong. She dropped her bag and rushed into the room, searching frantically for Kazumi. She didn’t hear crying, but Kazumi wasn’t much of a crier in the first place. If she was hurt though, then Uraraka figured she would cry.

Uraraka found none of that. Instead, all she found was Bakugou and Kirishima in the living room. Kirishima was the one with Kazumi in his arms. He was looking down at her in wonder as she smushed her cheek against his shoulder and slept peacefully. Uraraka wondered how long he had been in that position.

“Where are Kaminari-kun and Sero-kun?” Uraraka asked slowly, not taking her eyes off of Kirishima. Bakugou didn’t either.

“Pikachu fucking zapped her so I kicked him and Plain Face out.”

“He let me stay because Nugget cried when I left her.” Kirishima added with a smile.

Bakugou snarled. “Do not fucking call her that.”

“You call her that!” Kirishima was pouting.

“She’s my goddamn daughter I can call her whatever I want! You’re just some asshole who would’ve cried if I didn’t let you come over!” Bakugou shouted and went to lunge to grab Kazumi from him but Uraraka touched him with her quirk, shoving him away from her. Bakugou slowly floated away from them. “Ochako!”

Uraraka and Kirishima shared coy smiles as she released him.

“I’m not just some guy, I’m your best friend!”

“I need a new best friend.”

“Okay, okay,” Uraraka said and sat beside Kirishima, holding her hands out for the baby. Kazumi was laid in her arms and she adjusted her comfortably. “No fighting.”

“She crawled right into my lap.” Kirishima explained to her softly. Bakugou moved so he was sitting on Uraraka’s other side, looking down at Kazumi.

Bakugou snickered. “She started chomping on his hair.”

“It was fine!” Kirishima grinned. “She thought it was a snack. It was cute. She’s cute. You guys made one cute baby. You should make more!”

“Uh.” Bakugou and Uraraka replied with dumbfounded looks on their faces. Bakugou’s twisted up into one which she couldn’t quite pinpoint.

“I don’t think we’re ready for that yet. Kazumi is a lot. Especially at our age.”

Kirishima hummed and nodded, a dopey smile on his face. They sat in silence for a little bit, backs pressed against the couch. Why they were sitting on the floor Uraraka didn’t know but she was comfortable and Kazumi seemed comfortable sleeping with her head smashed between her arm and Uraraka’s breast so it was fine.

“Do you regret it all?” Kirishima asked finally.

Uraraka pondered this for a moment. At first, in the first few months of her pregnancy, yes. She regretted getting involved with Bakugou and allowing herself to have sex when maybe she wasn’t ready. When was anybody truly ready to have sex?

Not to say that it wasn’t consensual because it 100% was, but mentally it was a lot to handle. For her at least. She was sure it was fine for other people.

But as her belly started to grow and she and Bakugou worked things out, she liked their set up. She loved waking up to have Bakugou still sneaking into her room and sleep in the same bed as her. Then there was turning over and seeing a beautiful baby girl whose hair was growing in more and more each day. Soft tufts of blonde hair like daddy, round and rosy cheeks like mommy.

Uraraka smiled at the redhead. “Nope. Not at all.”

#bakugou x uraraka

16 notes · View notes

jackblankhsh · 5 years

Text

Why I Quit -- Santa’s Elf

"In my Mom's rendition, Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer eventually goes on a rampage, beating elves to death with his hooves, and disemboweling reindeer with his antlers. As for Santa, well, lemme just say ho-ho-holy shit. Thing is I can't help thinking she taught me the right & wrong lesson with her variation.

"Allow me to elaborate.

"Nothing motivates a person to grasp at any job like a looming eviction that'll cast one out into Chicago winter. It is a wicked season. Polar bears stalk the streets. Great glacial mounds dot the city wherever the homeless, huddled together for warmth, have frozen into human icebergs. And always there those driven mad by cabin fever who turn into winter banshees, their screams echoing down the icy streets.

"Call me a coward, but I've lived here long enough to know better than risk Winter on the streets. So, following the word of a grape vine bird, I went to the Brick House Diner. There I found Chari chowing down on a burrito.

"Chari is a queen in the skin grift game commonly known as stripping, though she prefers the term gash flasher. Folks often misperceive Chari, given that she spells 'Cherry' C-H-A-R-I; however, she's certainly innovative. Consider how she alters her act for holidays. Around Easter she dances as Bunny, near the Fourth of July she's Booty Ross, and close to Giftmas she's Mary Christmas -- 'merry' spelled M-A-R-Y.

"We met at a bachelor party. When the groom asked if Chari might be inclined to acts other than sexy dancing she rewarded those hooker implications by performing an act of surra de bunda so severe it broke his nose and gave him a concussion. Always respect a woman who can use her butt as a wrecking ball.

"After the usual chit-chat kindling we fired up the real conversation.

'I heard you know about a job.'

"She nodded, 'You know I pick up all kindsa stuff. Guys think they're impressing me, or some shit. Can't complain though. My stock portfolio is crazy good.'

"Fishing in her purse she produced a pamphlet. Passing it across she said, 'I think the guy who gave me this was thinking like save the stripper, or whatever.'

"I chuckled, 'The ol' respectable job angle.'

"She smirked, 'Like I'll be so grateful I'ma just have to suck his dick.'

"I said, 'Well, as a man, I can say we're raised with the grateful BJ delusion.'

"She rolled her eyes, 'Oh please, you believe it because you want it to be true. Ain't no different than Jesus saves.'

"Glancing over the pamphlet I said, 'Speaking of grateful oral...'

"She said, 'Don't be getting ideas. This is me paying you back. That bachelor party was gonna kill me. Besides.' She smirked, 'I think you'll be an adorable elf.'

"The next day I found myself in the beige office of a mall manager in Niles. After introducing myself we stared at each other in silence for well over a minute. I think he kept expecting to pull off my face, revealing Chari beneath a mask, and his pornographic fantasies of gratitude would come to life.

"Finally, playing off that note, I said, 'So about this job, Chari said I'd be a good fit.'

"He nodded, 'It's not hard. Tricky part is whether you like kids. You like kids?'

"A few years back I attended a family gathering. The three year old crotch fruit I'm supposed to call my nephew got to its feet. The whole family cheering it on my brother's rat child started baby-staggering towards me. Arms spread wide it giggled. Leaping off the couch I shouted, 'Not today Satan!' and punted it across the room. (I may've been drinking.)

"As such, I informed the manager, 'I know how to handle kids.'

'Okay. Let's get your costume.'

"I shuddered. Though aware of this aspect of the job I didn't look forward to it. I've often had vivid nightmares about a sweaty Walt Disney furiously masturbating to forlorn actors sadly donning the mouse costume.

"The manager said, 'Follow me.'

"He led the way through a network of halls behind the shops taking us to a locker room. While he searched for a box containing my costume I waved to a maintenance worker in overalls.

"The maintenance guy said, 'What they rope you into doin'?'

'Elf.'

"He grimaced, 'You let me know when you wanna die. I'll kill ya. Did it for the last guy. Least I can do, ya poor bastard.'

"Right away, I liked him.

"The manager returned carrying a battered cardboard box. Handing it over he said, 'Put this on then go to the middle of the mall. Santa's there. You can't miss it.'

"Opening the box I sighed heavily. Inside I found red tights, a green short sleeved shirt, and a red and white striped long sleeve shirt as well as a pointy green cap, and a set of fake points for my ears. Everything smelled like diseased feet, and the points felt like uncooked chicken. Yet, I soon found myself transformed into an elf.

"Walking the mall is like roaming the belly of a beached whale. The labored breathes of certain patrons even helps conjure a vivid image of the leviathan struggling to breath as its own weight crushes it out of existence. Meanwhile, despite everything in a state of slow decay, creeping towards death, delusions of survival abound like the leather store believing yalmukes will save the dying retailer, or the lingerie shop's unsettling new line of preteen thongs. Like dynamiting a beached whale it would be merciful to burn this place down.

"I spotted the ersatz Santa village long before I reached it. It appeared to be constructed on a budget of zero fucks, and discarded pizza boxes. Buildings, particularly Santa's workshop, stood so crooked they must've been constructed by a German expressionist. In front of it all sat Santa, enthroned on a thrift store recliner spray painted gold.

"Next to him stood a perky albino asparagus who introduced himself as, 'Todd.'

"Santa introduced himself as Santa.

"I said, 'I see we're going method.'

Todd beamed, 'If it makes the kiddies happy that's cool.' If he smiled any wider his head would've come out his mouth.

Slapping a nicotine patch on Santa said, 'Lez do dis.'

"And so it began... a job that made me want to smoke heroin out of a shotgun, get a nice double barrel overdose going.

"Later, unprompted, Santa said, 'Been doin' this job fer-fuckin'-ever. Started when my bitch wife took off with the kids, and I was missing children, which is something never thought I'd say. So I was like, "Mall Santa!"'

'Why'd she leave?' I asked.

"He shrugged, 'I's fucking our neighbor, and that asshole got it in his head I wanted him to kill her. So there was this whole misunderstanding. Oh, hold up.'

"Todd lifted an approaching child into Santa's lap. The kid stared in wide eyed wonder.

"'Hello little boy!' Santa said, 'What do you want for Christmas?'

'I wanna thister.'

'Then send us your mom,' I said.

"Santa choked down a laugh. He told the kid he'd see what he could do, but if there was anything else, say a toy of some kind... but the boy insisted on a sister.

"Todd snapped the kid's photo with a digital camera. Then I helped the boy down. Delivering him back to his parents I asked if they wanted to buy the photo. Like most they declined having already snapped pics with smart phones like the cheap bastards they are. The same way they used Santa as a scapegoat, blaming him when they couldn't afford gifts for their kids.

"So it went, eight hours a day for the next twelve days.

"Occasionally packs of mallrats tried to storm Santa's village. This usually involved Goth kids screaming about Krampus. We kept giant fake candy canes at the ready, and though bludgeoning teenagers is always a perk, it made the job feel worse afterward. Those battles sent me to such dizzying heights the drop back to reality felt like orbital skydiving -- too much time to fully consider the fall.

"Todd, on the other hand, possessed a mystifying ability to always smile. After one fight he said, 'That young fella had some skills. Good for him.'

I said, 'Maybe next time he'll kill you.'

'Then he'll be a winner!' Todd said. Watching him bandage himself with wrapping paper and gauze, I considered stealing a pinch; suspecting I could get a cheery high sucking on Todd's bloody gauze.

"But most days belonged to managing the slow procession of beaming children accompanied by bored adults lobotomized by parenthood.

"In the locker room one night a gruff voice asked, 'You wanna die?'

"Startled I leapt forward bouncing hard off my locker. Spinning around I found the maintenance guy standing directly behind me.

"I said, 'Not yet. Things are okay... I guess.'

"He nodded, 'When you're ready, say the word. You won't even know I'm coming. Just.' He snapped his fingers, 'Lights outs.'

'I don't doubt it,' I replied, 'Hey, I'm just here until I've got enough to buy a gun. Then I can rob a bank like someone who still has their dignity.'

'Like Todd,' he said.

"Todd having dignity proved hard for me to swallow. For instance, his frog eyed crotch stared down kids all day, and despite even the most direct statements he never did a thing about his huge man-el toe. Yet, it does take a stalwart individual to be so... Todd. Like physics, and voluntary celibacy, optimists have never made sense to me. Despite whatever obvious negativity I sent his way Todd remained a prince of the bright side. Some days my only motivation for work orbited some contrived scheme to break Todd's smile, yet I slowly began enjoying his immutable nature -- the seemingly eternal persistence of his mood.

"The maintenance guy's words echoing in mind, I started seeing Todd in a new light. Instead of a silver lining seeking lunatic I started seeing a young man impervious to the world's woes. Of course, I harbored doubts. Perhaps in private he metamorphosed into a snarling bitter dick, a speculation I held on to until one fateful day.

"Close to the end of work we let our guard down. We each wanted to go home for our own reasons. Santa had been peed on four times; it being payday meant I was anxious to get my drink on; and Todd wanted to hurry home to make a gingerbread house for his grandma. We didn't notice the circling, growing Krampus kult clad in black... until it was too late.

"A wiry teen jumped atop the phone case kiosk.

"Holding high an ornate, impractical dagger he bellowed, 'Death to the red lie!'

"And then the stygian tsunami came from all directions. Surrounded, we didn't stand a chance. Still, we fought the good fight. At one point I frantically threw children at the legion of incoming Goths, bowling them over. Santa put on a pair of reindeer antlers, and charged into the swarm head first. Anytime I saw a piercing I grabbed it, and pulled hard as I could.

"About to be overwhelmed I shouted, 'Robert Smith is dead.' As the swarm paused to check their phones I used that as our chance to flee.

"Grabbing Santa I said, 'We gotta go!'

'Ho-ho-hold up,' he stammered, 'Where's Todd?'

"I saw him lying face down. Shoving Santa to kick start his exodus, I hurried over. Scooping up Todd I fireman carried him back to the locker room where I dropped him unceremoniously on the ground.

"Gasping, I declared for the millionth time in my life, 'I gotta quit smoking.'

"Then I noticed a pool of blood spreading from Todd. Rolling him over revealed a set of pentagram themed shuriken stuck in his back. It didn't look good. Also, it's entirely possible when I dropped him I may have inadvertently driven them deeper into Todd.

"Kneeling beside him I lied, 'You're going to be okay.'

"Todd said, 'As long as the kids are happy.'

"Then he died. Smiling. Later I watched the maintenance guy mop up his blood, erasing what was left of Todd, save for a vague stain on the locker room floor. The next day I arrived to find a doughy guy in the locker room struggling into the elf costume. It'd been washed, but there were still holes in the back.

"Wrestling with the tights the guy said, 'This fuckin' shit better be worth it.'

"Seeing that sourness, I told the new guy, 'When you the manager come around, tell him I quit.'

"Chicago winter isn't the worst thing in the world... like Rudolph, Todd was born with a gift people didn't appreciate until they needed it. To see him replaced so easily, well, frankly your honor, that's why I burned down the mall."

#writing #fiction #shortstory #short story #surreal #weird #whyiquit #honestyisnotcontagious #elf #santa #holiday #christmas #giftmas #writer

1 note · View note