#I used to be so impatient with myself

[snezus-christ-risen]

For me, writing is like sitting down and shitting out this big, funky, sometimes unpleasant-looking (depending on the angle) brick of something from my brain that I then proceed to abandon in a dark corner. Every couple of days or so I’ll return to pick it up, examine it in the light, buff out smudges or rough edges, and chip away at the larger deformities until I have something kind of pretty and sort of shiny that I’m mostly happy with.

And then I bring it here, like a cat dragging in something dead and disgusting, to share with all of you. 🙃

#not snz #writing #it’s like a refining process and I get that now #I used to be so impatient with myself #(I would fail the stanford marshmallow experiment) #because I would want it to be where I wanted it NOW #but now I see if I am patient and take my time I like what I create better #will I go back and continue to chip away at it? yes #bc I just can’t leave well enough alone

[grimalkinmessor]

The way that I—

#hori won't give me their hopes and fears so i shall MAKE THEM UP MYSELF #YOICHI MY DUDE WHAT ARE YOUR FEELINGS WHO ARE YOU WHEN I'M NOT ORCHESTRATING YOUR INNER MONOLOGUE #horikoshi give us more yoichi content #he heeded my baby for one demands perhaps he'll see this one HORI PLZ #YOICHI DEATH SCEEENEEEE #AFO FINDING OUT SCEEENEEE #i have to do EVERYTHING myself #(im actually very pleased with the new chapters i am just impatient :'3) #all for one #shigaraki yoichi #bnha #boku no hero academia #first one for all holder #gimme afo's name before the one i made up sticks in my head 🔫 #afofa #shigaraki brothers #relevant for both in this case #WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER DON'T LIE

[thychesters]

Luffy is like staring into the sun.

At least, that is what Zoro thinks the first time he sees him. But then, his first coherent thought had been it’s too bright upon their initial meeting, looking up from glowering down at the ground to raising his head and squinting at a too big, self-congratulatory smile and do you want to join my crew?

Then it had been simple enough to blame the harsh sunlight blinding him, framing Luffy’s profile and that bright grin, and he’d bitten back the hell I will one minute and had a sword and an oath clenched between his teeth in the next.

And so Zoro follows the sun.

He follows and his skin reddens and blisters and peels; it splits at the seams and bleeds as he burns, and still he follows. It aches and cracks, and still he reaches out, twining his fingers through promises and a loyalty that will not bend.

Luffy curls a hand around his jaw and it’s a different sort of burning, flaring up into his eyes and down to his very marrow. And Luffy asks, where will you go? Nowhere, Zoro says as the words gather in his throat, raw and parched, and he chokes on them, anywhere.

His touch is a balm as fingertips skitter across his skin, soothing and pressing and digging and prying, and Zoro thinks he would burn again and again, blinded by the sheer brilliance of it all.

And then it’s dark out on the open sea, some nights, and then others too many stars dot the horizon, gathering up above them like they’re spilling out of the slit open belly of a giant, and Luffy tilts his head, blistering heat where he rests against his shoulder and looks at Zoro and says, I think I know where, and would you come with me?

And Zoro is a drowning man with a lungful of sea water, salt gathering with blood at the corners of his mouth and asks, of course, and where?

Luffy smiles and it’s a gathering of starlight and the sun, and it makes Zoro want to shove his fist into his mouth and shatter every one of his teeth, and Luffy would just laugh and bite down on his wrist and lay claim to his pulse point, like he doesn’t already live inside its every thrum.

No telling, he says. Will you still come with me?

And Zoro burns and it rages in the pit of his belly right into the raw skin of each scar, into his fingertips as they dig into Luffy’s scalp. How dare he have to ask, grin with the knowledge that he already knows the answer, and Zoro turns to follow the sun and says, yes, says I wouldn’t be anywhere else.

#zolu #or however you want to interpret it i suppose! #roronoa zoro #monkey d luffy #one piece #roses are red / violets are blue / i want to set myself on fire when i look at you -- zoro probably #(sanji: ok do NOT say that usopp: stop chopper's turning the infirmary into a burn ward. you're giving him more anxiety than usual.) #the first few lines were originally written for another wip i have but i'm bullying myself into getting further into the story first #since i'm only on episode 135 now but i'm!! impatient!! #so maybe that'll come along eventually! who knows! not me! #i wanted to try something different and write something a little more poetic with them but at the same time #neither of them are poetic at all #like why use 20 words when 5 gets the point across #sometimes love is stored in a burn. or a stab wound. #(well i already used that for that last fic with nami but that was more. her and zoro being bros. it's different here ashfjksdalgs) #pardon the typos rip #and if anyone would like this tagged for anything please let me know #kate writes #**

[snazzi-strawberri-artz]

BAMBAM BAM 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫 SECOND BATCH OF ART FARTS WOOOOOOOO

[Owners of the characters in order: catcrum, gohan, @kupadraws // Kupadraws, @galewindstudios // Mr_Galewindstudios, korokoromachi, ClownShakez, Starray ]

#Artfight 2023 #HOO BOY ive been busy #Im really proud of my lineart lately!!!! #Like its getting cleaner??? HUH?? #Pats myself on the back 😌 good job berri!! #But yeah im really really proud of these pieces!! #i used to denounce lineart ... im so sorry lineart i was just too iMPATIENT TO DO YOU 😭😭😭 #Also. SHOE PERSPECTIVE IS SO HARD AUGH BUT IT LOOKS GOOD IF DONE WELL #but ANYWAYS thie new brush every piece was a good way to push myself because id only use like 1-3 brushes every or so piece 😭 #But with ever new brush it somehow changes my style with it too ???? IDK #BUT YES ive been having so much fun this artfight im excited to make more >:]

[awacatin]

Luv watching cave diving vids. Even those where the person is like almost wiggling their way thru, their face squished to the floor and watching them struggle to move forward just makes me feel morbidly fascinated.

I can almost understand why you'd want to subject yourself to something so awful, the excitement of finally squeezing thru that very tight gap onto a bigger space, getting that well-deserved air and body mobility back??? Must feel euphoric

#like yeah ik how dangerous it is bla bla but man #id kill to ever go deep sea caving #wish i could scuba dive so deep and get swallowed in darkness and pressure #txt #cave diving #tw claustrophobia #claustrophobia #taggin just in case #the oppressive saueezing darkness calls to me #but i live nowehere near big water areas #plus its surely a v expensive hobbie #n i dont got the time or money for it #id def b a buried avatar jajdjajasjjqjsja #maybe i havent experienced the genuine terror of feeling stuck and thats why i think it must feel great #plus i got a lotta tics on mobilty like my feet and shoulder blades #and if i dont get to move em every now n then i get a bit impatient #but yeah ill keep lying to myself #I SHOULD B ON THE DEEP SEA DOING CABLE MAINTENANCE #forgor the word for it but wgen u use that hot metal to stick other hot metal #soulder???? idk

[lizbethborden]

I’m not trying to sound like a pour over bro, but three things have really improved my coffee game at home: filtered water, freshly ground beans, and heating water to the correct temperature. You wouldn’t think it would make a difference to heat the water to 200F instead of 212F, but it does.

#I used to leave the kettle for a few minutes to try to let it come down from the boil #but honestly I was always impatient #so the new kettle is saving me from myself

[worthyking]

I've been momming for my mother these past few days and i think I've reached the point where if she's not back tomorrow I might murder one of her children. including, perhaps, myself.

#I try so hard to be patient I try so hard to be kind but I just. at my wits end fr #I think if I wasn't expected to be essentially a second mother I would have a much better relationship with some of my siblings #because I could avoid them more and my impatience + their attitudes wouldnt put such tension between us #but instead I'm just like. the bitchy older sister #and i hate that. and I hate that it's a perception of me that I dont think they'll grow out of #I don't particularly like most of them myself if we're being honest but like I said part of that is circumstantial #and the other part (their brattiness) is something I hope they'll grow out of #kirastfu

[thehappiestgolucky]

girl help I am this close to just making a whole doodle dump for my rain world au because these fucking creechurs are eating every single one of my braincells-

#happy screms #altogether now au #pls ask me about these scugs i am holding them so gently and tossing them into situations #also getting to expand on an iterator and scug oc myself to use in here ehe #this au is really 'i have the end goal and i'll work backwards storywise eventually but im impatiant'

[trashsketch]

so what color nail polish did you get, is it gel or polish, have you used it yet?

I got this colour!!!

It's a magnetic nail polish and the pigment shift on it is gorgeous!!! but of course since I'm a first timer, I waited until holo taco's black friday sale to grab stuff like the base and top coats at a discount, and also this other magnetic nail polish colour cause it's so fucking pretty oh my god that velvet blue!!!! oh and two glitter toppers too just so I could use it with cremes that I'll likely get in the future from a regular drugstore

...i feel a new addiction coming, i finally understand the nail polish people. also i gotta mention that seeing more men using nail polish made me feel better about picking it up too, cause i love keeping my nails short ;w;

#ask #i probably wont....use a gel by myself cause those intimidate me esp with the curing process??? also bc i am impatient #but yeah that shade of sage green + gold is so alluring it was what finally broke me

[dont-offend-the-bees]

We need better fucking care infrastructure. I should not be trusted with anyone's care ever 💛

#thing is caring for myself? I'm not GREAT at it but i can scrape by #i know my limits i know how much or little i need to survive i know that i can usually more or less bounce back after a tough time #i think if my life fell out from under me i could probably scrape it back even if i wound up doing a lot of couch surfing in the meantime #i genuinely don't know how I'll survive if i have to be fucking sole carer for someone #dad's on his way back now and he's been prescribed antibiotics and hopefully that's that #but at least a couple of times a year there's some shit like this #an awful cough or an infection or a fucking insane choice to like do some diy on the outside of the house standing on the windowsill #he fucking nearly chokes on his food once or twice a week #maybe he's just one of those cockroach type motherfuckers who'll never die no matter how the universe steps on him #but I'm fucking PISSED that he's taking that for granted and won't even sit and fucking talk to me about what happens when his luck runs out #I've been looking after mum alone for what four hours today and I'm already so tired and frustrated i wanna die #i am. a deeply impatient and unsociable creature. #i can be infinitely patient with friends! those are my fave people i chose to have them in my life I'd wait like a fucking mountain for them #mum and i were.... already sort of At Odds before all this started. #i'm the kid she never 100% really wanted and who never really 100% wanted to be here #and now we're stuck together and one day possibly sooner than any of us want it will be. just the two of us. #and i just. i don't know what that looks like. i really don't. #anyway. mental breakdown over hopefullly. #with a bit of luck dad and i actually fucking TALK before the next one #idk man. i never really knew what i wanted to do with my life but i thought I'd have time to figure it out #but maybe I'm just. the unqualified burnout with covid memory damage and a whole ass other human to care for #the exact thing i set out to avoid when i decided never to have kids #anyway. enough oversharing. #thank you anyone who's read my spiralling tag rambles in solidarity i love you #mr. bees speaks

[vanibear]

FINISHED CROCHET PROJECT 4 ONCE IN. MY LIFE :D

#was Attempting to make a bag to put my ygo cards in #but my yarn ending ip being too big for the pattern I was using #so I ended up mostly freehandinf a bigger drawstring bag for my brother :] im pretty proud of myself #next im gonna make a little jewelry holder panel to hang on my wall #and I even made a little test swatch and wrote myself a basic pattern #n stead of just rushing into the final project and then quitting when I mess smth up #Like I usually do bc I’m impatient 💀 #kat post

[exopelagic]

sudden realisation that the thing holding my art back is that I never had an anime phase

#going to find a time machine and get my younger self into death note or smth #I have been driving myself insane for the past few years bc I wanna draw characters but all I know how to do is portraits #I’m trying to figure out how I could recreate smth similar now and tragically I think it does just come down to draw more :/ #however! I am also going to try using brushes which will be bad for sketchiness and better for lineart bc I might need to force myself here #I just gotta simplify things down to basic shapes how hard can it be #[has been thinking this exact thing for years and it’s not worked] #I am getting better every time I do stuff I’m just not satisfied bc art is frustrating when you know what you want but can’t get there #god it’s 2am I should not be awake rn but I could draw again tonight so I was taking advantage #endlessly frustrated by hair. why is it so awkward. I need to understand hair better how do I do this #i have a feeling it’s bc I’ve not figured out how to apply the shit I figured out abt volume yet #I’m also getting impatient bc I’ve been trying to do a study thing for some art styles but I decided I wanted to draw ocs instead of that #when I hadn’t gotten to the actually important bit which was. making smth new. but I can still do that #and I ended up doing a different style anyway (someone pls stop me rounding everything make me use high opacity square brush for my health) #the Other problem is I never wanna switch brushes. like I want to use one brush for whole drawing bc the extra clicks annoy me #I wonder if there’s a shortcut to swap brushes #anyway I’m gonna stop complaining bc drawing is fun but god I wish I’d drawn some more pokey mans when I was a teenager yknow #ideally younger. would rlly like to not have to actually think to figure this out rn #I’m probably overthinking stuff anyway honestly and I KNOW I’ll get it if I practice enough but goddamn it is hard to practice #especially when my me insists on making the bad things look better by making it more realistic #instead of figuring out why the shapes aren’t working #OKAY IM DONE WITH THIS NOW. GONNA TRY NEW ART THINGS LATER STOP TALKING <3 #luke.txt

[pawsitivevibe]

This is frankly a silly amount of ribbons to be given when you haven't earned them. I do think it's weird that conformation shows still give you ribbons when you're the only dog of your breed to show up. Is he the Best of Breed or is he Only of Breed.

#no love in group but Arthur showed well for a puppy at his second show #I'm ... a bad handler lol. But it was my second ever show too so we will both improve #Arthur's breeder had a friend of hers take a look at him and he said he IS a quality puppy #They're a very hard breed to show and the smart thing is to give him to a pro handler but NO I'm not sending my dog away #I'd rather neuter him than not handle him myself. I got him for ME to show #Anyway the first group judge was really impatient and I don't think she liked him #Second group judge we think did actually consider him for BPIG because he kept looking back at him even when other puppies were going around #so maybe he would have been second choice? #Anywho he we got to go in the ring 6 times which was great experience for us

[thebirdandhersong]

songbird's season of general sadness/first real grief/sorrow is coming to an end: (in chronological/journeying order) songs and poetry that helped my heart a lot these past few months :)

Always Good, Andrew Peterson / Marjorie, Andrew Osenga / Ask Polly article I read on a whim: 'My Boyfriend Refuses to Change' / You're On Your Own, Kid, Taylor Swift / One Foot in Front of the Other, Griff / Heavy, Mary Oliver / Monday by @madamescarlette / The Letter, Linda Gregg / Summer's Retrospective by @madamescarlette / Ode to Some Lyric Poets, Gregory Orr

(bonus--from the scraps of writing that came out of this chapter of life, which are slowly being assembled into a more coherent story:)

#yknow i felt so alone at so many points but i really really wasn't #i had such good friends (here and in my church community) who held my hand so gently #and God used the things i understood best to show me His incredible love at just the right moments #still an ongoing journey but i am so so grateful for the secondhand heart-strength given to me and the tenderness that was extended when i #when i was really at my lowest and saddest and most oversensitive and easily provoked to impatience or anger or depressive spirals #anyway i can't remember who sent me marjorie but thank you so much for that it was such a comfort. it continues to be #and thank you eden for sharing your beautiful poetry!!!! it continues to refresh and encourage my soul #mmmm it's hard to put into words what everything (and by everything i mean: the songs here and on my playlists #and the poetry here and the books i've read during the summer and into the autumn #from cyrano de bergerac to tolstoy to rilke's poems and dorothy sayers and dostoevsky and st therese & st teresa and madeleine l'engle #not to mention the night walks and morning prayers and the wonderful times i've had with the other dorm girls! #suddenly quite overwhelmed by the abundance of love and blessing #immensely immensely grateful for everything. i can be such a little wretch sometimes and wallow awfully for days #or act like a little human machine and try to Rid Myself of all emotional surges. or just focus on all the negative things with astonishing #tunnel vision (you wouldn't BELIEVE). but God has been so gracious despite songbird being a silly goose #and every once in a while having mental breakdowns and having to learn the same lesson (surrender and humility) a bajillion times #anyway!! my heart doesn't hurt anymore!! #and i am learning to take it one day at a time and to Rejoice in all circumstances #slings and arrows of outrageous fortune in year 21 #which really is so much harder than i thought at times!!!! but that makes it even more important to do so i think

[moonageinsomnia]

Oh no, I've been watching the French Chef, and now I want to make French bread! Right now!

#sleeping would be a better use of my time #and won't bother the dogs #maybe later this week #i love julia child so much #I know myself #when I make bread I'll make something faster #I'm too impatient for bread when I make it

[biblionerd07]

I am experiencing the epic highs and lows of trans tape

#wow wow wow removing it hurts so fucking much #admittedly I did not use enough oil and I was impatient and. just ripped #DO NOT DO THAT #I still highly recommend bc I got to work out with NO SPORTS BRA #lifting heavy and not wearing a bra made the gender euphoria go brrrrr #now I’m mad at myself bc I can’t wear anything probably for a day or two to let my skin heal #but absolutely will be taping again