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calypsocolada · 6 days

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THE PROPHECY | t. shigaraki

synopsis: tomura doesn't want to be your enemy anymore. authors note: hi hi hi. been working on this fic for a few weeks. it's sort of a continuation of the first kiss fic with him in it. also I'm working on a few other fics and requests and hope you enjoy this one in the meantime. it's a lot longer than I thought it was gonna be. also with the release of tswifts new album expect a few little nods to her songs... cw: blood, gore, suggestive, enemies to lovers, lovesick!tomura, obession, fem reader wc: 5k

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He watched you from afar. He watched your television broadcasts and studied your face as though he’d missed something the first hundred times. He remembered your smiles, and could decipher whether real or fake. He’d visit places you had been and imagine you there now. Future number one hero. His number one. Tomura was sick. Sick in the head, sick in his chest, his heart, dark and decrepit only beat for the sun. His days were dark and gray until he saw your shining face. So bright sometimes it made his stomach turn. He wouldn’t call it an obsession. It was something far worse. He didn’t just want you. He needed you. He needed all of you. Wanted your things in his room. Wanted your body sprawled over his bed in one of his worn t-shirts. Wanted you eating at his kitchen table, something only he cooked for you. He wanted to hear you talk to him. To say his name. Wanted your eyes on his and your hands on him. He wanted your time and your heart and your being. He couldn’t have it though. The prophecy that encircled him was stuck on its unwavering path. Even you couldn’t deter his fate.

Sometimes he thinks about the first time he saw you. Only when he’s alone and no one can see just how far gone he truly is.

Him in company with the shadows as you were announced as the next pro hero. You were standing on some podium. The microphone was taller than you as you reached for it and it yelped with feedback. You had laughed it off and cleared your throat. You looked radiant, with glowing skin and bright hopeful eyes. You were signed to Endeavors squad. Tomura knew you were stronger than that bumbling fire breathing idiot. But still you smiled just as bright.

All that untapped potential within you. Those powers could cause devastation if in a villain's hands. Which is why All For One asked Tomura to keep an eye on you in the first place. To see when the time to strike and steal those powers would be. But Tomura was past that. You had far more meaningful things he wanted rather than your powers.

You had thanked Endeavor after he gave a speech introducing you, your hand wrapping around the mic. Tomura fed off the shadows, after all they were giving him the ability to see you in person. It was an unreal feeling. Your speech wasn’t too long and you ended it before your eyes could well up with tears. The last words of your speech swirling around in Tomura’s head.

“I have always wanted to do good. I’ve always wanted to be a hero. Thank you for giving me the chance to do just that.”

He could see that good in you. Could see that swirling hope, that devotion to all things just. He unfortunately could see All-Might's influence. Endeavor walked over and placed a hand on your shoulder and Tomura felt something sick churning. He didn’t like people touching you. He knew you were nice, maybe too nice to say anything but he’d gladly be your voice if you needed it. When it was over you had walked out to meet people. Tomura watched you still. You were like some drug he couldn’t fend himself off of. He followed you at a healthy distance through the crowd. He wanted to see if he could corrupt you. See if he could drive you to the edge. See if those powers could be used for more than just causes. He could grab the man standing beside him and use decay. He could create mass panic. He could see your powers up close, could feel the weight of your stare. But as he got closer he saw you bending over to smile at a little girl. He heard your laugh and melancholy voice telling the little girl that if you could be a hero, anyone could. His reaching hand paused when you straightened and turned, almost like you felt the heat of his piercing eyes. Like you had a feeling creeping down your spine. Good intuition. He turned to leave just as your eyes found his. Just that split second of eye contact sent him pushing his way through the crowd and towards the exit as though he had just committed some atrocity and needed a quick exit.

You two crossed paths many times after that day. Tomura did learn the full force of your attention and it completely turned himself in on his once well sought after goals. Because now… you became his goal. His ultimate end. He wouldn’t mind dying if only it was by your hands. There was no saving him, no redemption for you to give him but death. He could see it in your piercing eyes. Could feel it in the way you fought him. You didn’t fight like other heroes. You had something to prove. Most heroes in your position would be cocky. But not you. No you were calculating and smart, but above all… you were vicious with him. Those powers were something to fear and Tomura loved them more for it. The one person that could end his endless suffering was also the root of it.

And the moment had finally come for him. After fighting, Tomura’s endurance wavering, he saw a thirst for blood in your eyes. A hunger so deep he knew you could never feel the same for him in a million millennia. And when the time came he accepted the death you’d grant him with open arms.

But you didn’t grant him a thing.

You had every opportunity to but you hesitated. Tomura saw it. Saw the quickest of uncertainties pass your heavenly face. Your eyes flitting up to him. The eye contact was nothing like he’d ever experienced before in his miserable life. You weren’t looking at him with anger or contempt. But something else. Something he wishes he could ask you to explain. He watched your lips part and heard you suck in a breath, not realizing he’d been holding his own.

“Well… what’re you waiting for, hero?” He asked. This moment like something right out of his stupid daydreams. You tightened your grip slightly at the sound of his voice but that uncertainty stayed. Tomura couldn’t help but glance at your lips. After all this was probably the last time he’d ever see them this closely. And he couldn’t help but get caught up, to just stare and drink in his fill before his demise. You flinched when he looked back up and right then and there he knew you couldn’t kill him. He didn’t know what it was but he could feel it as deeply as he felt for you.

“I can’t.“ You affirmed his suspicions. Tomura’s stomach clenched. He’d never heard your voice this close, speak this softly. He melted at the moment. You let out a ragged breath and there was a moment shared before Tomura saw Dabi’s blue flames travel towards your unguarded back. Tomura acted without even thinking. He gripped you by the shoulders and spun you out of the line of fire. You felt the heat graze against your shoulder before your back hit the ground, Tomura shielding you with his own body. He was burned badly with that little move. He groaned above you, shooting a glare back at Dabi. You stared at him above you in utter shock and confusion. He’d just saved your life. He stared at your mouth then saved your life. And you couldn’t kill him. You had every opportunity to end everything right here and now. He was already injured, you could finish it all here and now. But when Tomura turned and your eyes met again you couldn’t do it. Tomura reached for you, his thumb just barely wiping dirt from your cheek. It was surprisingly intimate. Until you realized the hand touching you was the same one that could easily turn you to dust. You were quick to act, quick to fire up your powers and send Tomura back towards the fire. Something burned in you, some feeling of guilt as you struggled to your feet and ran off towards the rest of the hero’s that had started to fall back. Tomura hit the ground hard, slightly startled by the force in which you sent him flying. He rose and watched you meeting back up with the rest of the hero’s. Watched Hawks run over and meet you halfway, grabbing you gently and looking you over for any wounds. Tomura felt his stomach twist in a sickening way. Jealousy like a vice around his chest.

You had tossed and turned all night. Unable to turn your mind off. The events of the day played in a loop. Fighting Tomura, taking him to the ground. The curious way he looked at you. The curious way you looked back. The inability to kill him after everything. You could justify trying again if he hadn’t saved you. He saved you. Tomura Shigaraki saved your damn life. He took a burn for you. And then he touched your cheek. Without evil intent. And the look in his eyes when he did it. That’s what haunted you so stunningly and consistently for the entire night. You sighed heavily, turning over in your bed, running a stressed hand through your hair.

Was this a thing now? That hesitation that took such deep root, that act of kindness to keep you from the flames. What if he had done it to confuse you? To test your allegiances. If so you had failed sort of spectacularly. Letting him touch you and feeling something when he did. You sat up instantly. You felt something when he touched you. You felt something when you watched his eyes watching your lips. You pushed out of bed and felt the cold flooring beneath your feet as you rushed from your room. You needed to do something… anything to get your mind off of him. In your haste you slammed right into Hawks.

“Woah… hey there you alright?” He asked, steadying you. You cleared your throat.

“Y-yeah, just hungry.” You lied. Hawks slightly cocked his head as he surveyed you for a moment.

“You seem… rattled.” Hawks says. You look up at him a little too quickly. You shake your head.

“I’m fine.” You say and slightly cringe because you did not sound fine. But Hawks wasn’t one to pry. He just gave you a small smile and nodded his head.

“Well… you know where to find me if you aren’t actually fine.” He says before walking off to his room. You turn slightly as you watch him walk away. You suddenly wished he was who you were laying up at night thinking about. Wished you could chase him down now and release the pent up energy that swirled within you. But that wouldn’t be fair to him because you’d be thinking of someone else. You ran a stressed hand down your face and proceeded to the kitchen. After you ate and calmed down a bit you were able to wrangle in those unruly thoughts. Just because he saved you once doesn’t mean he deserves to take up rent in your head. The man was evil. You’d spent the better part of a year facing off with him and his followers. He doesn’t deserve your hesitation or confusion. The next time you faced off with him would be the last.

Tomura could only watch as his mind was stolen, watching his body being overtaken by a force he wasn’t strong enough to stop. All for One’s control taking over. He knew he had seconds left before he’d no longer cease to be himself. You burned with hatred beneath him, your left arm broken and useless, your right hand holding some sharp shrapnel that you’d plunged desperately into his side, your powers flickering weakly within you. He didn’t feel the pain. Your eyes flashed, his hands around your neck, squeezing. Someone was going to win here but… it wasn’t going to be him.

He pulled you hard, the fire in your eyes licking and burning his own but he couldn’t care less. If he was going to die he was going to make one last grave mistake that might send him to the grave earlier than expected. He leaned down where you were pinned beneath him and with impressive force, smashed his lips against your own.

The kiss was like a fight. Like all your other fights. But lips instead of fists. With breaths instead of words. With groans instead of screams and growls. His hands gripped your face hard to keep you where he wanted you. You, in a fit of confusion and pure survival instinct twisted the shrapnel in his side. He gasped in pain but that only spurred him on, his mouth cracking yours open in a feverish attempt to be as close as humanly possible. He had no indication whether or not you wanted this until the pain ceased and he felt your tongue brush against his. His breathing hitched, muddled with pain and sorrow and complete obsession. He pulled you off the ground roughly and kissed you until you both were gasping for air. When he pulled back the state he left you in was enough to satisfy him for years. Your lips were kissed pink and wet, your cheeks had a wicked blush across them as you stared at him with utter bewilderment and something else that had his stomach tangling in knots within him.

He resigned himself to death then. He was guilty as sin.

Your hand was still on the hilt of your shrapnel that was embedded in his side as you stared at each other. Breaths heavy. Tomura didn’t know how to be kind. He didn’t know how to be soft. He’d never kissed anyone before and it should’ve been pretty damn suspicious when the first person he’d ever felt the need to devour with his lips was the one standing opposite of him in this endless war. The one he needed to destroy. And to say he wanted to devour you was almost an understatement. He wanted to climb into your body and live in your ribcage, safe and tucked away. He wanted to be inside you, wanted that mind of yours to only know him, wanted those pink lips to only speak his name, those pretty eyes to only meet him. The obsession was endless. He wanted it more than ever right now. Death knocking down his rotted door. So bad that he hadn’t even noticed his own tears before they fell and hit your cheeks. You blinked a few times, slowly coming back down from the clouds. Tomura reached for you a last time, the pad of his thumb swiping his tears off your cheek.

“Save me, hero.” He breathed out before everything went black.

Your breathing staggered as you watched Tomura change before your eyes into something else. You had been warned about Tomura’s connection to All For One but you let yourself get caught up in the moment. You were able to take advantage of the moment and put a little distance between you and the hijacker. You could hear Hawks calling for you somewhere but you weren’t leaving this. Tomura had asked you to save him. With tears in his eyes. And god dammit you were going to save him if it killed you.

“I know you're still in there,” You call out, voice steadier than it had been all day long. The hijacker looked up and the smile was pure evil. All For One. You’d never met him in person and without Aizawa here to cancel his quirk you were dead in the water. But you weren’t leaving.

“Tomura’s not here, girl. But he sends his condolences.” Even his voice didn’t sound the same. You kept your head high and even though your body screamed in pain you got ready to fight.

“Get out of his head.”

“You sound like you care, hero?” You flinched at the nickname. It didn’t sound as good coming from him.

“I can’t ignore someone in trouble.” You say, your heart speeding slightly as All for One laughs.

“Is that so?” He asks, cocking his head. “As though you weren’t seconds away from killing him before I took over.” You were slightly relieved he didn’t seem to know what had transpired moments before he took over.

“He asked for help.”

“Does he deserve your help?”

“Everyone deserves help.” You shoot back defiantly. All for One just laughs, walking towards you. Your powers flickered weakly within you and you felt overwhelming fear, felt the urge to run. But you stayed put.

“How about a trade, hmm?” He asked. You stared at him. He wasn’t to be trusted, you know that. But still…

“A trade?” You echoed.

“I’ll give him back to you if you hand over those powers willingly.” All for One stated. You stared at him. All you ever wanted in life was to be a hero. You were blessed to have powers like these and as much as you wanted to save Tomura, these powers in All For One’s hands would only cause death and destruction.

“I- can’t.” You said and watched a sympathetic smile spread across All for One’s stolen features.

“Some hero you are.” He said. “And to think this host pathetically loved you for years.” Your eyes cut to his.

“What?”

“You heard me. What an idiot he was, thinking you could save him.” You saw red. You charged without even thinking, your powers flaring up as you hit All for One square in the jaw. He lost a few steps, blood dripping from his lips as he laughed and laughed and laughed. “You’re bold.” He said and you burned. You only had one good arm and you hit him again and again until you couldn’t feel your knuckles, your hand bruised and battered. You screamed to let Tomura free but your words fell to uncaring ears. All for One caught one of your punches and sent you flying. You crashed into some loose debris. You coughed up blood and dizzily tried to push yourself to your feet. Your endurance was gone, at this point you’d been fighting for hours. You were past your limit, undoubtedly bleeding externally and internally. But still you pushed to your feet only to be caught by the throat and slammed into the wall. All for One pinned you there, with your feet not touching the ground you gasped and sputtered for air. You kicked hard but All For One just laughed it off. “You’re a strong one, hero. I’ll give you a valiant death.” Fear gripped your heart and in a last ditch desperate act you grabbed the closest thing you could find and sunk it into the flesh of All for One’s arm. He didn’t budge. With his hand around your throat, blackness danced around the edge of your vision. You had no strength left. You were going to die.

“Tomura-” You struggled to breathe, your voice coming out in a choking gasp. Somehow… you’d grown to care. “Come…back.”

When you woke up it was a startling affair. You sat up quickly, gasping and reaching for your throat, you felt the tender flesh there, undoubtedly bruised. Warm covers fell from your body as you looked around. You were in some small cabin, a fire burning in the hearth, a soft orange glow lightening the room. You were bandaged up pretty thoroughly, your arm in a sling. You pushed the covers from your body and swung your legs around to the edge of the bed and that’s when you saw him. Sleeping soundly in the wooden rocker beside your bed was Tomura. His hair was damp and falling in stringy curls around his face. You stared at him, unable to look away. What had happened? It was clear to you that some time had passed since fighting All for One since it was dark outside. But how you got here and with Tomura was a complete mystery. You silently move to your feet and wrap the cover around your freezing body. You move towards the door, hand inching towards the door knob.

“Leaving without a word?” You flinch hard at his sleepy voice. Hand stopping before it touches the knob. You don’t turn to face him, ashamed after everything.

“Where am I?” You ask over your shoulder. You hear Tomura sit up in the chair.

“A cabin, safe.”

“Not good enough.” You snap, turning slightly. Your eyes meet and you instantly regret turning. Tomura is looking at you in a way that makes your stomach flip. Tomura stands and you pull the covers tighter around yourself. He walks to you and you take a step back. Was All for One still in control? Was this an act? As though he read your thoughts he held up his hands in mock surrender.

“It’s me.”

“How?” You question, keeping up your guard. Even if it was him the air between you two would still be foggy. He kissed you when you thought he was going to kill you. You weren’t sure at all where you stood.

“I heard you.” He says softly. “I heard your voice and it… gave me purpose.” He doesn’t reach for you but a part of you wishes he had. You hazard another look in his eyes. What was this spell that suddenly had such a tight hold over you? This feeling that only sprung when he first touched you. Just looking in his eyes made your knees weak. But you were good at maintaining a poker face.

“Purpose to finish the job yourself?” You ask. Tomura doesn’t react to your venom, it was as though he expected it. He looks away from you.

“I won’t ever kill you. Not even if my life depended on it.” He says. You stare at him.

“I don’t understand.”

“You… affected me, hero. It’s not something I can… explain exactly.”

“Try.” You say sharply. Tomura looked slightly stressed, he ran a hand through his hair, his shirt popping up slightly. You blush and turn away. Tomura couldn’t even imagine this moment in a million years. You, standing mere feet from him, cheeks pink, moments from a confession he didn’t even know how to word. He was sure his kiss spoke volumes.

“It’s rather simple,” He starts, taking a hazardous step towards you. Your eyes cut up to his, watching his every move. “I don’t think of you as my enemy.” You suck in a silent breath, your lips parting in surprise. You didn’t have to ask what he meant by that. You were sure that kiss was a power move and that he’d gotten the better of you. But it seems you have had the better of him for quite a while. You pulled the cover closer as though it could shield you from something you didn’t quite understand just yet. But… you wanted to understand.

“You saved me. From Dabi’s fire weeks ago. I… never got to thank you.”

“You being alive is thanks enough.” Tomura says. Your heart skips in your chest. You breathe in somewhat unsteadily.

“How long… How long was I out?” You ask, clearing your throat.

“Just a few hours. After I got control back everything sort of fell into chaos so I just grabbed you and ran.”

“You patched me up too?” You ask and Tomura nods his head.

“You should rest some more. No one’s going to hurt you here.”

“I don’t trust you.” You say. Tomura looks hurt by that but more so he looks like he understands, after all this was all sort of new territory. Tomura had no intention of forcing you to do anything, after everything you two had been through he’d be delusional to think you’d up and change how you thought about him in one day. He never thought that could even be possible, that someone could trust him enough to love him. That someone could look at him, perceive him and know him to his very core and choose to stay. He’d stay for you. But he didn’t expect you to stay for him.

“That’s okay. Are you hungry?” He asks softly. Your eyes meet again. This time tension builds properly and you're reminded how he kissed you. How he grabbed you like a starving man and slamming his lips against your own as though he’d rather do that than breathe. You blush at the thought.

“I need to go. I need to tell my team I’m alive.” You say.

“Stay. Just this one night. I’ll even leave. Just stay, eat something, rest and leave in the morning.” Tomura says, almost like a plea. You swallow, something in his tone had your stomach twisting. You were in trouble. Deep trouble.

“I… I can’t stay.” You shake your head, dropping the cover and reaching for your clothes but Tomura catches your wrist. His grip is gentle and he’s stepped much closer to you.

“Don’t go.” He pleaded. You couldn’t even speak, not with him this close. You're not sure where your composure had gone but you sorely missed it at this moment. “Just one night-” You cut off his sentence, pressing your lips to his. He got to surprise you once, now it was your turn.

A curiosity burned inside you, a need to feel the way you felt when he kissed you that first time. Tomura melted at your touch, he groaned against your lips and stepped fully into your space, gently walking you back against the cabin door. A heat burned in the pit of your stomach, only his touch satiated it. Your body ached from the earlier fight, scar and bruises stinging with every movement. But you didn’t care. You dragged Tomura to the bed and pulled him down on top of you. You kissed him hard, kissed him with a need to understand him. To crack him open and live inside. He pulled back just slightly.

“Do you really want this-” You grabbed his shirt and showed him exactly what you wanted. All those sleepless nights, thinking of him. You could solve all the mysteries now. You wanted him horribly bad. Clothes were shed, breaths shared. Tomura was careful with you because of your injuries and although you didn’t exactly want that it was nice not being in complete pain during all this ecstasy. Tomura kissed everything he could, he mapped you out. Wanting to carve the sight of you beneath him into his own skin. To remember this night for years to come. He didn’t expect this lapse of judgment to be a recurring thing. He fully expected you to come to your senses and be gone in the morning. The vicious cycle back in effect. But he wouldn’t fight you any longer. If you wanted to win all you needed to do was ask. Tomura kissed his way back up to your mouth. Your eager touches almost sent him over the edge. Tomura wanted to take things slow but it felt achingly slow, he was just as eager as you. He wanted to see the reactions on your face when he touched you there, wanted to catalog every sound, every noise that escaped your pink lips. He wanted to be rough, it was in his nature but he just couldn’t, he just wanted to kiss you, you were very dear to him. To be close to you. He wanted the soft touches, but above all he wanted the reassurance, even if he knew he could never have it. You could feel it, so you flipped around and pressed him into the covers. He gasped beneath you. If this was anything like your fights you’d come out on top. You leaned and kissed his lips, you trailed kisses to his neck and savored his labored breaths and small whimpers. You barely moved your hips against his, just to amp up the tension. You wanted so badly for years to hold a win over his head, to conquer him but you never thought it would be in such a different context. You tangled a hand in his hair and left marks on his neck. He twitched beneath you, his gentle grip on your hips slowly tightening. You could tell he was holding back. Maybe because you were so injured.You had realized you had been moving sort of fast, consumed by the moment. So consumed that when your hurt arm hit the bed it sent a sobering pain through you like nothing before. Tomura sat up, gently helping your arm back into the sling, careful hands brushing your hair from your face.

“We should stop… I don’t want you injuring that arm anymore.” He says softly as you nod in agreement. He rises from the bed and disappears into the kitchen for a moment before coming back with some food and medicine. As he watched you eat he thought about what he wanted. He wanted you to be the one to stay. To break his curse and change the prophecy. He’d beg and plead if he needed to. Pray to anything above that would hear his desperate pleas. He just wanted you to stay.

“This is good.” You said. “Didn’t know you knew how to cook.” You say, realizing you really don’t know much about Tomura on a personal level. And that you did want to know him.

“I’m glad you like it.” He says, but it was clear his mind was somewhere else. He watched you with this sort of wanting expression.

“Have you eaten?” You ask and when you look up he leans just slightly to press a soft kiss to your lips. Your breath hitches as he presses his forehead to yours.

“Will you stay?” He whispers to you. You nod your head and his hands slide against your cheeks as he deepens the kiss, hand tangling in your hair as he drinks you in. How could you not stay?

#fem reader #tomura x y/n #tomura shigiraki x reader #tomura x reader #tomura shiragaki #mha shigaraki #shigaraki x reader #mha x you #mha x reader #mha x y/n #shigaraki tomura #bnha tomura #tomura shigaraki

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crystaljellie · 2 months

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I honestly think that there are so many interesting songs that fit the life series characters so well, so I’m going to talk about them here and explain why I associate them with these songs!

Bdubs - Never love an anchor by the crane wives

"With this heart of mine that's guilty, not remorseful" | It's guilty because Bdubs feels bad, he feels bad he couldn't achieve what he should. He feels bad that he killed Impulse in third life, betrayed him, and even then it got him nothing. He's guilty because he knows the harm he's caused

"There is love that doesn't have a place to rest, but it would burry you if it had settled on your shoulders" | I notice that Bdubs has a lot of trust and faith in his companies, something about this brings back the 'He loves me' scene from last life back. Bdubs loves a lot more than people seem to think he does, so he must hold it back in case of that love being used against him

"I am selfish, I am broken, I am cruel" | Maybe things that Bdubs wants to be, for the sake of letting go and letting himself detach from these people so losing them doesn't hurt as much. Letting other people label him as such

BigB - Know How by the Crane wives

"I am not brave; I keep my focus on what is safe," | I think this is fitting to BigB even if it's not necessarily true; I think from his perspective how he feels, ignoring how he is actually very brave. But at the same time he does keep his focus on what is safe, there's a reason why he always makes it to the final or session before the final.

"Just because I know what I'm supposed to do now, doesn't mean I know how" (Edited line to be shorter) | I'm not sure how to explain this but I do think it really fits him, he knows all the things he's meant to do, to survive, for example killing with the boogeymancurse, but he dragged it out till the very very end before he killed Cleo in last life, because he didn't know how he was supposed to do it.

Etho - I don’t know anyone I am by Salvia Palth

"I don't know anyone, I am in relation to anyone I guess" | Etho has always been seen as a loner throughout all seasons, he doesn't very much get the time to make meaningful bonds or understand his teammates. It makes sense he would struggle to see himself as more than just a survivor as well, he hasn't given himself the time to focus on anything else.

Scar - Icicles by The Scary Jokes

"Their shallow observations will only stall the transformation" | This is very secret life scar to me, maybe something something the watchers talking to him, everyone forcing the title of villain onto him, yet the watchers see him as a gift to them, as a victor and they're trying to make sure Scar keeps doing what he has been and not back out because they're calling him 'villain'

"But I admit it would be easier, To be relieved of all this shame and not have to wear it on my sleeve." | This fits Scar's feelings on the matter, not wanting to go forward, not wanting to be shamed and outcast by the rest of the lifers.

"I can only be forgiven if I'm giving myself up to you" | Secret life in general but also back in 3rd life, Scar believing he can only make up for killing Grian at the end by having Grian kill him, something something 'slay me and take the enchanter'

"My world has turned so cold, but I won't cry, 'cause icicles don't soften when they die so why should I" | Despite Scar being constantly alone, he stayed strong he never 'softened' or cried he also became cold which is why he won.

Grian - Bird Song by Florence + The Machine

"And he sang about what I'd become" | How Grian had slowly lost his mind in third life as well as all the other games, how Grian had became someone obsessed with getting kills, going out of his way to trick and trap people and find loopholes to kill

"I picked up the bird and above the den I said 'That's the last song you'll ever sing" | Grian doesn't want to think that he might be a bad person, or he might be going crazy, so he has to silence anyone saying otherwise, anyone that might prove a danger to him. Maybe because he can't let the watchers get word that he's exactly who they say he his. Maybe even so this is relating to the theory that he might have been the one to curse Jimmy.

Impulse - A Mask of My Own Face by Nature Tapes

Okay now hear me out on this one, Impulse is constantly in and out of alliances especially in third life, lying to everyone to gain vantage.

"And none of them would know that I am secretly myself" | Because they trust that Impulse is putting on a facade all the time, but maybe what they are missing is that the facade is what he considers to be him. Or at the very least keeps him safer

"I'd blame it on the person that nobody knows I am" | Something about him always being like 'Oh I did this so they'd trust me more I'm still on your side I promise' Or 'I did this for the task!' When he could have absolutely targeted anyone else.

Martyn - Metaphors by The Crane wives

"I've gotten good at living on someone elses page" | It's the way Martyn is always deceiving and always planning to betray, living on someone else's page, being content and loyal until he has the chance not to be.

"You can't trust a single thing I say" | Idk something about him talking about how he was planning to betray Ren in third life.

"Don't look too hard cause you won't like the scars he left in me" | THIS BEING SO TREEBARK LISTEN TO ME. HE GAVE UP SO MUCH TO REN THERE ARE SO MANY SCARS CAUSED BY FOLLOWING THE ORDERS TO KILL SOMEONE YOU LOVE

Lizzie - The Crooked the Cradle by The crane wives

"There's blood in the water" | Thinking about Lizzie showing up in limited life to play Pearl and the first thing she was tasked with is killing. Like she showed up and instantly was given the title of boogeyman, a gimmick that was only there in the one other season she was in, a sense of familiarity and a sense of dread.

"The quiet are restless the silent are still" | When there is peace on the server and it is quiet there are people waiting to kill. When it is silent it is because all is dead. And Lizzie knows that well being quick to die each time, she is the silent, especially when she fell into the void, she died alone and in scilence.

"If Mercy's abound I'll be safe I'll be sound, and the devil won't know of the love I just couldn't let go" | Something about Joel being the cause of her death In Secret life... loved him so much she went down for him, she couldn't let it go and it got her killed.

"Can anyone hear me?" | Her in the void not being able to be heard....

Mumbo - Saint Bernard by Lincoln

"To remind me that I am a fool" | I am very strongly of the headcanon that Mumbo is also a watcher, something something he needs to remind himself that he is fooling himself into thinking he could fit in with the world of the watchers or the world of the players

"When I am dead I won't join their ranks because they are both holy and free" | And Mumbo's not, Mumbo doesn't get to go where they go, he still has more to do, more to make up for. Still instructions left to follow

"There's really just one thing that we have in common, neither of us will be missed" This is so Mumbo talking to Grian coded for me

Pearl - Here I am by the Crane wives

"How long have I been here all alone" Double life Pearl in her tower....

"Settled in, had a plan but I never factored in, Everyone else saying goodbye" | Basically also double life Pearl she had a plan with Martyn go to the nether get stuff come back find her soulbound, and then they all left her.

"This ghost town is making a ghost of me" | Everyone dying around her, and being alone like this without chance of redemption slowly killing her.

"I promised myself I'd learn to be the one who leaves" | Throughout the next games, like secret life, she'd be the one who leaves instead of gets left behind, but she didn't seeing how she was always last one alive out of her teammates

Skizz - Wrecking ball by mother mother

"I made a fist and not a plan" | Skizz is usually quite reckless and goes action first plan second.

"You gotta see the artistry In tearing the place apart with me, baby" | This but more in the ironic sense, because Skizz while he wants to reign chaos he is also fiercely loyal and kind to his allies, so tearing the place apart with me, is important. He doesn't just want to cause chaos he wants connections

Scott - Icarus

"Climb ye higher and higher and higher 'Til you're far away and breathing cleaner air" | Scott winning last life, climbing higher and higher through the ranks until he breaks through the clouds into what he had hoped was cleaner air spoiler alert it’s not.

"Who have you become in the wake of all that's happened here?" | What’s happened to you, what happened in last life that changed you, what made you so cold and bitter and so quick to assume the worst when double life came

"Spreading out the ashes of a love That only gave and gave" | Either this as flower husbands, being the ashes of a love that only gave to others, or specifically Scott’s love, that only gave and gave to the one whom he loved

"There's no room for all the hearts who will not stay" | For the people who will not stay with him, the watchers pressuring him to do better and leave the, behind. He won’t though.

Joel - The Wolf by the crane wives

"I will join the wolf at my door Breathing out storms when she comes around" | Well yes we know Joel is a dog boy clearly, but also how he is oh so aggressive to everyone he meets, ferocious and knocking things down.

"I am always burning, burning, burning" | Burning with rage? Burning things down? So many emotions they're lighting up his world so much that it blinds him from seeing anything else

Jimmy - Hollow Moon By the crane wives

"In the darkness, Slowly crawling over my skin, Whispers at the door, "let us in, let us in" | Whispers of the watchers, or maybe his curse, something knocking to let death in.

"I won't be sleeping, There's too many monsters in the backyard" | Okay yes funny because of Minecraft mechanics. But also, idk something about Jimmy not being able to see the watchers but still feeling their presence.

(I'm giving Jimmy an extra song because he's special)

Strawberry blond by Mitski

"I love everybody because I love you When you stood up, walked away barefoot And the grass where you lay left a bed in your shape I looked over it and I ached" | YES I AM BACK ON MY FLOWER HUSBANDS BULLSHIT! Trust me so much they're so insanely in love, they love the world because they love each other, their relationship is so sweet and soft.

"All I need, darlin', is a life in your shape I picture it, soft, and I ache" | because all they ever needed was each other, not the death not the violence, just to be in love

Tango - Monster by Dodie

"I'm guessing that I've grown horns I guess I'm human no more I can tell I've rotted in your brain" | Tango's anger and wondering if those reactions made others see less in him. Make him a monster

"You think I'm a crazy bitch I craft my words to fit your head 'Cause no one listens to the dead" | Idk... something about this and Tango, he always dies relatively early too, maybe it's only death that'll comfort him

Cleo - The Garden by The Crane Wives

"My stone, My shield, my steady hand, Hold your light To the darkness in my head" | Something about this being about how Scott has been her friend and ally throughout all seasons

"Give me something pretty to wear beneath my blood-stained clothes" | I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT BUT THIS IS LIMITED LIFE CLETHO, DOES ANYONE HEAR ME PLEASE TRUST

"My darling, the devil knows my name" | Cleo makes a name known for herself by fighting, making a point with their sword

"Get on your knees and, Dig up the garden, Won't you throw down that spade and, Dig up the garden, darling?" | Something something a wife talking to her husband

Ren - Arms Tonite by Mother Mother

"I died in your arms tonight" | Martyn killing Ren in 3rd life....

"I lost sight in your arms tonight, it was nice" | Lost sight of the goal so obsessed with his kingdom and the Red army

"I cry hard because I have died, and you're alive" | Martyn out living him (Not by very long) In third life

Gem - The Well by the Crane Wives

"All the words I couldn't say to you Fill up the spaces in my chest" | This being Shiny Duo and Gem and pearl being on different sides unsure of how to stay together

"Send me anywhere, take me out I'm the well they're gonna drag you down" | Gem knowing she's only going to be used as a catalyst to hurt others despite her wants

"That old house, those rotting memories Burned easier than I'd have thought" | Those short memories of limited life being replaced by the nicer memories of at least the first half of secret life

And I am done yapping, mayhaps I will do more someday

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gwenster · 1 month

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This Had Better Come to a Stop (March of the Falsettos)

Per usual, Marvin is projecting his misogyny onto the people in his life. This statement demonstrates Marvin's insistence for Whizzer to take on a domestic role in their relationship as he attempts to compensate for the lack of a housewife role in his life following his divorce. He wants Whizzer to take over Trina’s previous role with no complaints; in “Tight Knit Family (Reprise)” Marvin literally states, “I want a wife who knows what love is” as if he wants a wife when we clearly know that is not the case.

Not only that, it demonstrates Marvin’s continual disrespect for Whizzer’s emotions as the statement clearly shows his disregard for whatever Whizzer is feeling: “hating him” or “needing him.” Marvin doesn’t believe that Whizzer loves him and so he self-sabotages through dismissing his own, and Whizzer’s, emotions.

Marvin’s self-centeredness is not something the musical shies away from admitting and thus us a prime example of just that. It highlights Marvin’s selfish nature, prioritizing his own needs and desires over Whizzer’s.

The subject of the lyrics pertaining to food is so fitting. The continued textual theme of food in the Marvin Trilogy is one of my favorite things to point out and it deserves its own analysis post but for now I’ll stick to writing about how these lyrics highlight Marvin’s particular relationship with meals and cooking. With a concept like this that unmistakably dates all the way back to the sequel, with In Trousers specifically honing in on his obsession with meals with songs like, “How Marvin Eats His Breakfast” and continues to plague the rest of the trilogy.

This Had Better Come to a Stop (Falsettos)

The lyrics in Falsettos differ. I am curious as to why the lyrics were replaced. In the context of Marvin’s character and the pair's relationship, the remark is so meaningful that its removal feels like a missed opportunity; I almost feel robbed due to its absence. Not that I dislike the new lyrics by any means; rather, I adore them.

The entire exchange between Marvin and Whizzer during the beginning of this number is truly one of my favorite scenes in the entire musical. The acting in this singular minute of dialogue is breathtaking, it’s so grounded and characterizes the pair insanely well.

Even though it’s directed at Whizzer, Marvin’s remark on how “Life can be wonderful” is him reassuring himself of that fact, not Whizzer. In this scene, he shows no regard for Whizzer’s emotions; continuing the very one sided nature of the exchange the two are enduring.

Following the reflection of his life, he narrows down his analysis, remarking on his relationship with Whizzer. With his words now partially directed at the other he states, “Isn’t this wonderful?” seemingly giving Whizzer the floor to voice his opinion. Which, in the proshot, Whizzer eagerly does, or rather, attempts to. He begins to reply in an effort to soothe the other and point out the truth in his statement, but an insecure Marvin, who admittedly enjoys picking fights over trivial issues, interrupts him, continuing to stir the pot.

Whizzer’s actions heavily contrast his nature in previous scenes. Unlike “The Thrill of First Love” which introduces us to their relationship, describing how both Marvin and Whizzer both enjoy fighting stating how “of all the lesser passions” they “like fighting most.” Marvin is still acting under this notion. Despite this, Whizzer acts maturely in this situation, making an effort to have a sincere discussion. This is the first time we see Whizzer’s genuine investment in the committed aspect of their relationship, showing there is more to him than originally presented. It’s just another example of how he’s not so great at continuing his facade of not wanting something serious while actively pursuing exactly that. Namely how it explicitly states that he’s had dinners with Marvin’s immediate family and has familiarized himself with his child to the extent that he has.

As previously mentioned, the acting in this scene is amazing. Depending on the performance there are plenty of conclusions that can be drawn from their own interpretations and I’ve had varying ones over the years but it’s undeniable that their body language speaks volumes.

I wish I had access to any stage directions from this moment, but alas I will just be describing what I see:

Whizzer is provoked and stands up to emphasize his point. Marvin then grabs the collar of Whizzer’s suit and shakes him while proclaiming “Life can be wonderful.” He lets go and continues with “Isn’t this wonderful?” Following this Whizzer reaches out to reassure him but Marvin is quick to push him away to which Whizzer flinches or at least experiences a full-body pause to represent shock or dismay and he spends the rest of the confrontation stone faced after freezing up.

Marvin’s display is insanely contradicting, he speaks so gently at moments yet aggressive is at the same time. Due to this Whizzer is left confused, scared even, during their interaction with his whole demeanor changing when Marvin puts his hands on him.

TLDR. I adore both renditions of “This Had Better Come to a Stop.” It’s arguably my favorite song in the entire Falsettos soundtrack and I love both variants of these lyrics. I feel like Marvin as I practically profess how, “I want it all” as I wish these lines could coexist in the same version because of how impactful and relevant they are.

#falsettos #march of the falsettos #falsettoland #in trousers #marvin falsettos #whizzer brown #marvin x whizzer #falsettos analysis

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talktolwt · 10 months

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I would like to focus on the music chosen for Hob Gadling's 80s sequence.

I'm extremely late to the world of The Sandman (finally binged it two weeks ago after my mother had been begging me to watch it with her and now I'm more obsessed than her) Bottom line: I'm unbelievably glad I finally watched this beautiful piece of television.

I have yet to read the comics but as for the first season, I have to say, without a doubt, my favorite episode is Chapter 6: The Sound of Her Wings. Death's 20-min segment is a beauty unto itself, but I'll be focusing on Hob's segment today. Specifically, his 80s scenes.

Considering I'm so late to this fandom and exploring all of its wondrous details and themes, excuse me if this has already been noted. I've been thinking about these details over and over but I need to get it out there in the Sandman world and hear everyone else's thoughts.

*Also excuse the terrible photos - Netflix doesn't let you screenshot and I was too lazy to get another app to let me bypass it. Please bear with my photos of my laptop screen.*

There are three songs that play throughout this sequence.

#1 - "She Drives Me Crazy" by Fine Young Cannibals

I accidentally deleted half my post mid-writing this but here I go again.

As we can see, after the breakup scene, we open up on Hob Gadling (he looks amazing in his 80s look, by the way) and this song plays.

Here are the lyrics:

I mean - where do I even start LMAO.

*Let me just give another note - regardless if you ship Dreamling romantically or not, I will be merely analyzing these lyrics as they are and how they convey Hob's feelings for Dream in general. But, I mean, the songs are THERE, the text is THERE. So do with that what you will.*

This will go for the following two songs as well, but these songs are placed with meaningful intention. Each of these offer a unique lens and dive into Hob's feelings.

I won't be annoying and over-explain anything, but the lyrics are clear I feel:

"She drives me crazy" - cough

"Things you do don't seem real" - in Hob's view, Dream literally is an enigma. Hob has no idea the capacities, the limits, and even the name of this being he meets every century.

"This waiting 'round's killing me" - well.

"Everything you say is lies" - now I wouldn't say particularly lies, but Dream does keep and omit things from Hob. Understandably, Hob would find himself in a confused limbo with Dream.

Here's the kicker:

"I won't make it on my own/No one likes to be alone." - HELLO. I mean, if this isn't the core message and pinnacle of Dream and Hob's lesson to immortality.

As Death mentions earlier in the episode, around 18:10, "Most of us will be glad for the company of a friend."

I feel I could go on forever and ever about the beauty of this episode and how well The Sound of Her Wings and Men of Good Fortune intertwine. They beautifully complement each other as stories lamenting the dichotomy of life and death, and the joys of humanity.

But essentially, Death reteaches Dream how beautiful humans can truly be, and in this pivotal moment, she says this zinger of a line. The camera was initially on Death but for THIS line, it cuts to Dream.

BECAUSE - poor Dream is definitely in need a friend.

Which is then shown to the audience by the 30-min long Hob Gadling sequence that ensues, and we see Dream's aversion to needing someone, to needing a friend.

But I digress - back to the song, and that one line about not wanting to be alone.

That is such a poignant line, because as much as Dream felt alone and needed company, so does Hob? An immortal, constantly seeing the death of others around him, his companions and family long gone, he needs someone.

Considering this 80s sequence ruminates so heavily on post-breakup feelings, Hob is missing Dream dearly. His constant in life.

I'm rambling too much, onto the next one!

#2 - "Shattered Dreams" by Johnny Hates Jazz

Time skip to perhaps a few hours later, who knows. We see Hob still waiting for Dream, alone in the pub.

Hm.

Literally what else could I say. I'm being slapped in the face with pining and angst and longing.

Here are the lyrics:

Some noteworthy lyrics:

"So much for your promises/They died the day you let me go" - this breakup man

"Caught up in a web of lies" - another lie motif

"I thought it was you/Who would stand by my side" - the theme of Dream and Hob being constants in each other's lives

"Shattered dreams" - I could scream. The title of the song. SHATTERED. DREAMS. giggling rn.

"Woke up to reality" - I think that's a very interesting line toeing between the constant references of the Waking and the Dreaming

Basically, I've been noting these evident similarities within the songs to align themselves to Dream and Hob's situation, and it's clear that the director/writers chose these songs with intent of it paralleling Dreamling.

So that makes it even more insane when lines like "From this empty heart" are meant to parallel Hob. Like.

Okay, last song.

#3 - "Keep On Moving" by Soul II Soul

This song plays as the night progresses. It's late, it's clear Dream isn't showing up, and Hob is feeling pretty final about that, and perhaps he's accepted it at this point. Dream isn't coming.

So this is where he speaks to the bartender and that scene ensues.

Here are the lyrics:

The themes of time and clocks are super prevalent within this song, and again it's once more clear how heavily this reflects and represents Hob.

Noteworthy lyrics:

"Why do people choose to live their lives this way?" - I think this also uniquely touches on the general aspect of humanity and one's reason to live/love life. Dream battles with his confusion/slight disappointment for humanity at the beginning, as he asks Death, "Why would any sensible creature crave an eternity of this?" And then Hob helps Dream realize why there's so much to live for. (24:30)

"I know the time will come today/The time will come one day"

"Walking alone in my own way" - Again this idea of walking alone and needing company.

"You'll be in my life, my life always" - Dream and Hob being constants again.

This all goes to say - Hob cares. He cares for Dream.

And I just think that's very beautiful. The magnitude with which Dream's absence means to him and how much their friendship/companionship both means to each of them. I just think their connection is a beautiful thing that I love seeing and rewatching. Wonderfully, these songs give the audience even more layered insight into this connection.

This was super long, and I apologize if I went on some tangents. But I also just couldn't help it, The Sandman is so incredibly rich in its storytelling and its connections and dynamics that I had to write this all down. I also just very much appreciate the amount of care and detail that goes into every aspect of television, and needle drops such as these three songs are no exception.

Thank you for sticking with me through this! Can't wait for season 2!

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elinoracia · 10 months

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🕷🕸 MY SPIDERSONA // Tarentule 🕸🕷

→ Let me introduce you to my Spidersona: Tarentule!

Ref sheet + infos :

● Spider-name: Tarantula (in english) // Tarentule (in french) // Tarantel (in german) ● Universe: Earth-9 // Switzerland ● Full name: Paloma Pey ● Age: Between 20 and 25 ● Love interest(s): Garson Stein or Mateo-James Wagner (love triangle) // Miguel O'hara (after being recruited) ● Job outside of superhero activities: Receptionnist

If you want to know more about her ↓

Personality, appearance and more :

● Friends: She is usually very shy and doesn't have many friends. But her best friend is Neon-Spider (oc/spidersona who belongs to luma_oku on instagram). She met her at the Spider Society (Earth-928B) after being recruited by Miguel O'hara. She also became friends with Pavitr Prabhakar and Miles Morales. ● Canon events: Being bitten by a radioactive tarentula, The death of her first best friend (Diana Dixon), the loss of her mother and the death of her second love interest (Garson Stein) because she couldn't save him. ● Personality: She used to be very bubbly and social but the death of her best friend (Diana Dixon) changed this aspect of her character. She is now quite scared to form meaningful bonds with people and is very shy and anxious around anyone who tries to talk to her. She still likes to crack some stupid jokes sometimes (only when she wears the mask). However, with her few close friends, she is very sweet and affectionate. ● Appearance: She has long brown hair with greenish hazel eyes. She is 5'6 (167 cm). She has a beauty mark under both of her eyes. ● Likes: The color pink, her family (father, sister and brother), cats, spicy food, shrimps and ice creams. ● Dislikes: Feeling anxious, loneliness, the color orange, celery, very loud noises and agressive people.

What inspired her design and spider-suit :

● Black cat: She was my main inspiration because I just love her vibe so much. ● Black/Venom spidersuit: I actually bought this suit (not me in the picture) and I wore it to multiple conventions so it just reminds me good memories. ● Fluffy fashion: I am obsessed with fluffy/fuzzy clothes. So cute. ● Black tarentula: She is just so massive and pretty. Love her :) ● Me: Yes! The last inspiration for my Spidersona is me! (✿◡‿◡) Anyone can wear the mask so I decided to strongly base this oc on me and how I actually look like!

Fun facts about Tarentule :

● She absolutely hates the color orange. She feels nauseous just by looking at a bright orange color. ● She paints on her free time! She mostly paints landscapes because everytime she tries to paint people it ends up not good enough. ● Since she was 18, she was really close to two boys. Garson Stein or Mateo-James Wagner. While Mateo and her were on and off, she fell in love with Garson. She had to choose between the two boys. In the end, she put an end to her on and off relationship with Mateo to be with Garson. He then died after an attack of the Green Goblin. ● When she was personally recruited by Miguel, she eventually grew closer to him. She was always trying her best on missions to impress him and make him notice her. She learnt to love again after everything she went through even if Miguel's feelings towards her are still unknown. ● Her favorite song is "Can't help falling in love with you" by Elvis Presley. ● She is almost like a big sister to Miles. She always tries to make him feel better and to give him advice. She sees herself in him and that's why she wants to support him as much as possible and not make him feel like the outcast.

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b1ttersweetzomb1e · 8 months

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I want to say that a new comfort character/new kinnie/new hyperfixation just walked in. He's just like me fr

Welcome to the club, Marvin.

I mean, he's very relatable to me as an autistic and aroace boy. I even run like him due to being hyperactive, when I'm just walking then I just start running, I used to say that I ran like a Peanuts' character

I got to know him better while developing my hyperfixation in Looney Tunes, starting with The Looney Tunes Show. I loved how Bugs and Lola has a "love song", Daffy sings a song about how it feels to be in love using Tina as his reference (as talking about giant sirens and giant robots but even so), Speedy has a song trying to advice Porky to have a girlfriend and, meanwhile, Marvin has a song about how his heart is crumbling to pieces for feeling betrayed about his laser beam not turning on anymore. He even says that he never felt closer to anyone in his life; I know this song was supposed to be funny or something like that but I did relate because I feel more and more distant from people and the feeling is that I bond more with fictional characters or objects (mainly books), I was ashamed of admitting that but Marvin just got me the feeling that it's alright and it isn't something to be ashamed off. And it warmed my heart. By the way, when I was younger I remember saying as a joke that I was an alien because it was my way of comforting myself for feeling wrong and out of place with people in general, btw I even had an oc based on me that was an alien as well to comfort me even more. And Marvin is a martian-

I'm obsessing over Marvin and the massive comfort he is currently bringing to me; as more as I'm searching and founding out more stuff about him, the more relatable he feels to me and this is a wonderful feeling. I felt out of place for a huge part of my life, and he makes me feel that it's okay to be different and that we can be different together

I started noticing this stuff yesterday, and yesterday was my birthday so it was a very meaningful birthday gift from the universe to me to my mind. It made this whole stuff even more significant.

(By the way we both are intjs 5w6 choleric-melancholic, I grew out of thinking mbti is a big deal but I will definitely make this specific fact the biggest deal ever, i mean it has to be a sign!)

I'm currently in my flop era but I'm so comfortable with this post which I wrote with my heart so open that I won't even mind if it flops tbh

Edit/PS.: another happy coincidence is that here in Brazil where I'm from he's voiced by my FAVORITE brazilian voice actor. The one that made me realize that I liked doing different voices when I was still a child, helping me figuring out my dream of being a voice actor someday. Yay. Marvin is almost too good to actually exist as a character

#marvin the martian #looney tunes #hyperfixation #the looney tunes show #aroace #autism #comfort character #kinnie #aroace headcanon #autistic headcanon

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seidenbros · 2 years

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Eddie Munson Headcanons

These have been in my head, so I needed to write them down (and I'm sure lots of this has been menioned by others as well)

Eddie never had a home until he moved in with his uncle. Yes, he had a place where he stayed, but it was no place where he felt loved, so he spent most of his time outside, even in the winter.

Wayne made sure that he had everything he needed, but it still took some time for Eddie to really make his room his own, because he wasn't sure whether Wayne would abandon him or not. After all, his own parents hadn't really fought to keep him with them, so why would his uncle want him around?

The first time Wayne tells him “I love you, kid!” Eddie is so taken aback that he can't say a word in response, just nods. It takes him a good year to say the words back, but he shows Wayne even before that with staying in, helping around the trailer as best as he can.

Eddie has trouble falling asleep, because his mind races, filled with songs or things he's seen throughout the day. Even if he's completely exhausted, it takes him some time to calm down enough so that he's able to sleep. Once he has someone by his side, he doesn't have that problem anymore – one reason why he loves to cuddle so much, because feeling someone else this close, hearing their steady breathing, their warmth seeping into his own skin... it makes his brain shut up and he's out.

He's a fan of handwritten notes, letters, stuff like that (like this thanks @eddienbird ) passes notes to sou during school just to make you smile, and he puts them in your bag, your pockets, whatever, because he knows they'll make you smile whenever you read them.

He loves giving gifts. He saves up for concert tickets, but it's the little things, the small gifts that are the most meaningful, because he finds these things, because he listens to what you tell him. You saw something while you were out? He'll try his best to get it for you. He remembers all the little details.

He's always been the kind of guy to wash his hair in the shower with whatever is available, not knowing how to take proper care of it. It's just hair, right? Wrong. And when you give him the right hair products he'll need, he rolls his eyes, but he enjoys it so much when you show him how to use them, help him wash his hair, that he makes that a weekly routine with you, because it's boring alone.

Eddie makes sure to have at least one shirt around that fits you. Doesn't matter the size of your body, he'll get that especially for you and he'll sleep in it, so that it smells like him, because he wants you to think of him even when he's not around. He loves it when you're wearing his clothes, but he also enjoy stealing hoodies from you, just for the times when he can't see you and feels lonely.

No matter what song is your favourite, which song you're obsessing over at the moment, he'll learn how to play it, even if it's absolutely not his kind of music. But you love it, and in order to make you happy, surprise you, he learns to play that song.

Eddie loves people. He doesn't care whether your big, small, what you identify as, it really doesn't matter to him – as long as you're not an asshole and hurt others.

When he's with you, he can hardly go without body contact. He loves to touch you, be it your thighs, holding your hands, or just your pinky fingers touching. He needs that connection to you, because it calms him down, makes him focus.

It's easier for him to study when you're around. Even though he sometimes gets distracted by you (of course you'll have to be the one to stop his hands from wandering) he makes the most progress when you're around.

He loveloveloves it when you cook for him, all the little domestic things, because they make the trailer feel even more like a home. But cooking? Definitely a way to his heart! He's willing to learn, but he'd much rather watch you cook and listen to you tell him what you're doing there.

While he's the one with a bad reputation, he's actually the one to keep you from doing dumb shit or at least try to stop you from that. Depends on who's more stubborn in the situation.

He'll read your favourite book, no matter how cheesy it is, and he'll definitely discuss it afterwards with you. You might not always have the same taste in books, music, whatever, but you make an effort to understand the other one.

It's a yearly tradition to backe Christmas cookies with his uncle. It's something Wayne had done with his own mother, so he does it with Eddie now as well. Eddie always keep that day clear to spend it with Wayne. A date? Hellfire? Nope, not on that day

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson headcanons #stranger things 4 #staffi talks #eddie x reader #eddie x you #good to get that out of my head #staffi writes

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teyamsatan · 1 year

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Illicit Affairs | Oneshot: If This Was a Movie

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Synopsis: When Tuk forces you to sing a song you used to sing in the year Neteyam left you, both of you have to suffer through the memories that flood in uninvited.

Warnings: some angst, fluff, a lot of feels, Neteyam x Reader being the absolute cutest 24/7, like my heart can't deal honestly

Word Count: 5,7k words

A/N: So I am dutifully writing the last (two?? maybe? maybe not?) chapters of The Archer, but I have been obsessed with exploring more of the relationship we never got to see before the beginning of Illicit Affairs. I always imagine them having the best friendship/situationship that was so meaningful and deep, which is why it hurts so much more when he left. The memories aren't in any sequential order, they happen throughout the years. Also this would be somewhere in between Chapter V and VI of Illicit Affairs. As soon as I heard this song, I knew I HAD to write something like this. I didn't think it would be so involved, but I really like the way it turned out. And I hope while you wait for the last chapter of the archer and recover from Epiphany, you will enjoy this insight into their relationship x

I would highly recommend playing the song while reading, and you can find it in my Illicit Affair Spotify playlist xx

↳ *Spotify playlist* ༉‧₊˚✧

“Come onnnn!!!” Tuk’s squeeky voice was unyielding, no matter how many protests escaped your lips.

“Please, sing that song! You used to sing it a lot back in the day, when I used to come by the lab. Pleaseee?”

“I will sing, Tuk-tuk, just not that song, alright?”

“No, but it has to be that song! It’s my favourite song! I don’t think mummy and daddy heard it, or Neteyam!”

There was a reason for that. The song that Tuk wanted you to sing haunted you. It was a song you sang like a litany, hoping that if you sang it enough, it will come true. Like if you sang it enough, he would do the things the song said, that you wouldn’t be alone anymore. There were so many memories, so many painful thoughts associated with that song, and the thought of being vulnerable around Neteyam, after he just came back into your life abruptly, after telling you you shouldn’t take the Avatar, after treating you like the lifetime of shared moments was gone in the wind, was close to unbearable. He didn’t deserve it, didn’t deserve hearing how much you suffered, didn’t deserve to hear what he put you through, not in the way he left, not in the way he ended it. But still, he gave you this guitar. Outside of a couple of horrible birthdays, he still was undefeated in gift giving, still knew how to make you melt into a puddle on the floor.

With a deep sigh, you tuned the guitar in your lap and started playing, unable to look at anyone or anything other than the way your fingers were pressing on the chords, how the skin moulded around them. You focused on the pain your Avatar fingers felt, fingers not yet accustomed, not yet calloused enough to play the way you do in your other body. The ache was bliss compared to the one you felt in your heart, hearing the all-too-familiar sound, feeling all the memories flooding in. Little did you know, taking in the painful lyrics, Neteyam’s own memories weren’t far behind.

Last night I heard my own heart beating

Sounded like footsteps on my stairs

Six months gone and I'm still reaching

Even though I know you're not there

You looked at Lo’ak out of the corner of your eye, trying to keep your focus on the cells in front you and not on the boy who looked like guilt was eating at him. You hoped guilt made a meal out of him and left nothing but the bones. You haven’t seen Lo’ak in a while. In fact, you haven’t seen him since your birthday. It’s been a couple of months now, and to be honest, you were going through it. Neteyam leaving, and everything he took with him when he did, left you in pieces. So many pieces, each one sharper than the last, each digging into you, each bleeding you dry from the inside out. You felt the betrayal deep in you, in every corner of your soul, poisoning your blood, much like all the pills you needed to make it through the night.

You wanted to ask, you needed to ask.

Where is he? Why did he leave? Why didn’t he say goodbye? Was there someone else? Did he finally decide it was time to outgrow you? Did he realise finally there was no future?

Nothing came out. Your pride didn’t allow you to ask. If he didn’t care enough to say it, you wouldn’t care enough to entertain another thought of him, at least out loud.

The silence was thick and awkward. You both knew what you were thinking about, you both knew the enormous, Na’vi-sized elephant in the room staring you down, waiting to be addressed, but you didn’t talk, just waited for him as you were working dutifully on your experiments.

“I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve been here. It’s been crazy with training and everything else, dad’s having us train from sunrise ’til sundown every day, like we’re little robots. You know I would have come sooner if I could.”

You turned around from your hood, and gave him a look he knew too well, a look he knew meant he was lying, lying through his teeth and you knew it. You always knew. He cringed and refused to look at you, deciding a random spot on the floor is probably safer. There was no point in torturing him. You were angry, but in truth, not with him. Because you knew if it was his choice, he would be here instead of training anyway. And if he did stay away, either it wasn’t his choice or it was, which meant he felt too bad to come and face you. No matter which, Lo’ak came out of this looking pretty good, unlike his brother.

“So I learnt a few more songs. And I watched a couple of movies I think you would really enjoy, so whenever you have the time, we can put them in the hub and watch them together. You bring food, I’ll make stale popcorn that’s probably been expired for years, it’ll be a great time. What do you say?”

You watched Lo’ak’s eyes shoot up to yours, and when he met your smile, his own dazzled you. He was so beautiful - a mini Jake for sure, resemblance more striking by the day. He looked so relieved, like a huge weight just got lifted from his shoulders and therein lay the proof that he would never stay away from you unless something horrible was eating at him, like second-hand guilt for his brother’s actions and mistakes.

You chatted for hours, and it took very little for it to go back to how it was. You talked about everything under the sun except one thing, the one thing you wanted to talk about the most. You were so alone, you realised. You had no one to talk to. You had to go through this completely on your own. No matter whatever happened in your life, however fucked up, you always had someone… you always had him. You didn’t anymore, and you didn’t have Kiri or Lo’ak either - you would never put them through having to listen about your problems with their brother. You were all alone.

Eventually, it was time for him to go. And the closer to the door you got, the more your own desperation clawed at you, the more your mind twisted in agony. Just ask. Just ask. Just ask anything.

“See you soon, Angel. Promise it won’t be this long ever again.”

You gave him a small smile, biting the inside of your lips until blood came out, hoping this way the words won’t. As he closed the door, your impulses overcame your will.

“Hey… Lo’ak?” You looked at him, a mix of emotions swirling in your brain, but grief won this battle - and the war, it seemed.

“Is he….” Fuck. “Is he ok?” Tears were swimming in your eyes, making your vision blurry. “Is he safe?”

Lo’ak looked at you pitifully, and you hated it. Hated him, hated Neteyam for putting you through this, for making you so sad it was pitiful to others. He fiddled with the door, moving it inches forward and backwards, trying to release some of the tension that now filled the room.

“He’s alright, Angel. Just busy. Training and all, you know how it is.”

You removed the tears dropping furiously down your cheeks with the thick material of your lab coat, and nodded softly. You got up from where you stood and told him to follow you to an adjacent lab, one with medical supplies in it. You pulled out a tube and put it gently in Lo’ak’s hand.

“This is called Lidocaine. It’s numbing cream. He has sensitive skin and doesn’t do well with Mo’at remedies, they always sting him. I always use it… I used to use it on him when he came by with wounds from training or hunting.”

The tears didn’t stop, no matter how badly you were trying to will them away, and your heart ached, ached with sadness and love lost, with missing your best friend, your soul mate, your twin flame, the boy you loved.

“Just… just give it to Mo’at. Or to Kiri, she has gentler hands. Tell her a light layer after the wound is clean is enough. She just needs to wait about 30 minutes before she does anything else, for the cream to work.”

Lo’ak kneeled next to you and took you in his arms, and you broke down as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“I’m sorry, Angel.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

I was playing back a thousand memories, baby

Thinking 'bout everything we've been through

Maybe I've been going back too much lately

When time stood still and I had you

Neteyam struggled to fall asleep, like he did every night for the last couple of months. And he can lie to himself and say it’s because training has been particularly stressful recently, or it’s because his wounds, that haven’t been healed in the way he’s used to, hurt him and drove him crazy because of how itchy and uncomfortable they are, or because his parents have been dropping hints about him having to find a mate, and to be fair to himself, all of those are definitely part of the problem. But he knows that the real problem, the only problem, is that he can’t sleep without you. Neteyam’s body is so used to yours, to the smell and feel of your room, to that small bed that he somehow got so used to in time, being so stretched out in his tent felt ironically confining to him. His heart tugged painfully in his chest at the thought of you, that never truly left him, that made his mind wander and his body tremble, all day, every day. He was a mess in training, his dad was unhappy with him constantly, although Neteyam knows the Olo’eyktan was definitely going easy on him. He wonders how long it was going to last, this preferential treatment, the way even Lo’ak was being less of a dick than he normally was. How long did they expect him to be heartbroken, what was the amount of time they thought it would take for him to overcome this unconquerable grief. Whatever it was, they would barely be scratching the surface. He tossed and turned for hours, not being able to stop the torturous memories coming back to haunt him every night, like clockwork.

Neteyam has always been a light sleeper, always. He thinks it’s a Na’vi thing, their bodies and minds a lot more attuned to the world around them, a lot more aware of any tiny sounds, any movement. It helped their senses were a million times better than a human’s, but anyway, long story short - Neteyam was a light sleeper. Usually. Not tonight, though, as he has to be shaken awake by you, so deep in his slumber you almost had to shout him awake. He only ever slept this deeply here, in this room, with you.

“Neteyam!”

He wakes up in a panic, heart thumping and adrenaline rushing, looking around for any signs of danger. There were none, obviously, unless he considers that horrible little artificial light coming from your lamp, making him almost dizzy with how bright and unnatural it was, a danger.

You laugh at him, placing a hand on his back and one on his arm and comforting him back to a normal heart rate. It was crazy to him, almost unspeakable, what your touch did to him. Your whole life but particularly recently, your touch had power to both instantly calm him and set his skin on fire simultaneously. He didn’t think anyone would be able to hold such power, but you did. You did.

“Neteyam…”

“I’m really cold.”

Neteyam’s breath stopped and he gulped loudly. Even in all the time he has been coming here at nights, you were always separated by a blanket. You would always fall asleep before him with your head rested comfortably in your pillow, almost overcome by your blankets, that you pushed up so far, only your eyes were ever truly visible. You were cold a lot, which Neteyam didn’t really get. He couldn’t remember the last time he was cold. You said before this is yet another difference between your species. The Na’vi had higher core temperature, much higher, so they didn’t feel cold in the same way.

This is fine. I mean, the Na’vi always sleep huddled up, it’s not uncommon for them to hold each other to sleep for warmth. This is fine, it’s normal. He tried his best to stop his heart that felt like it was about to gallop out of his chest, and moved a little from his spot so you can open the blanket for him.

He got under it, and plopped himself on his side, holding the blanket up so you can join him.

“Come here.” You turned off the light, which Neteyam really appreciated, and he watched as you made your way to him, back turned until it hit his chest, until your body was flush against his own.

“Shit. You’re freezing.”

His arms found your body, as he stretched one for you to rest your head against, and the other one encircled your abdomen, pulling you closer. Neteyam could feel you, feel your chest rising and falling with every seemingly laboured breath, feel your heartbeat that he realised matched his in speed and intensity, feel the thin layer of sweat that enveloped you suddenly.

There was silence in the room, deep silence, that while normally very comfortable, felt awkward, like there were words that needed to be said, feelings that needed to be addressed. You both laid like that for a while, the stillness almost unbearable, but, much to Neteyam’s surprise, you eventually turned around, facing him. He could see your wide eyes in the dark, sparkling with an almost iridescent glow, mouth slightly parted to accommodate the deeper breaths you were taking.

You nuzzled your head in his chest, breathing in and breathing out, in and out, until you spoke softly, barely a whisper.

“Thank you.”

“Always.”

You fell asleep quickly after that, head on his chest, but he couldn’t. Not anymore, not when he realised that the love he’s always felt for you, the love he thought was familial, like you were his blood, was not at all like he envisioned. When he realised what he’s felt all this time was a different kind of love, a deeper love, deeper than any ocean, deeper than any trench, deeper than he ever thought it was possible to ever feel, ever experience in this life. Your breath was rhythmic and peaceful now, and whilst it was helping settle him down a little, it was not enough, not to be able to sleep, not without a million thoughts dawdling in his mind. What did this mean? What was he going to do?

“Neteyam…”

He was pulled out of his chaotic musings by your soft voice, wondering how he missed it that you were awake. Another shock to the system pulsated through him when he realised that you weren’t awake, you were indeed still fast asleep… and you were saying his name. His name. It wasn’t that that shocked Neteyam, you’ve said his name in your sleep before… it was how you said it. You said it how he felt. You said it with… love. With need, withyearning.

“Neteyam…”

I know, Neteyam thought. Me too.

What was he going to do?

Come back, come back, come back to me like

You would, you would if this was a movie

Stand in the rain outside 'til I came out

You’ve always been a little different than any human he’s ever met before. It made sense, Neteyam thought, seeing as you grew up here, on Pandora, with them, and not with your own kind, in your own world, so different to this one. But it took a while for Neteyam to adjust to the humans he would always see in the movies, hear in songs, have you read about in books, the humans scientists that chose to stay, and you.

One of the biggest differences, one that Neteyam struggled a lot with, is the clothes. When you were young, you used to wear Na’vi clothes, as there were no clothes on Pandora small enough for you, and his mother always made sure you had little loincloths and beaded tops, just like Tuk had, and Kiri before her. Neteyam loved seeing you dressed in those wears, it made him feel like you have always been just a part of them, regardless how different yours bodies were. But as you got older and your body changed, as you started working in the labs, and staying mostly indoors, you ditched the Na’vi clothes for human ones. T-shirts and trousers, shirts and hoodies, socks and shoes. Your body became mostly covered, just like he was used to seeing in other humans, just like it was normal, and in time, Neteyam got accustomed to you like that. The most you ever uncovered was maybe your legs when you wore shorts or your arms when you wore a T-shirt. Once or twice he saw your bare midriff as you wore something you called a cropped top. But that was it.

So Neteyam was a little… well, more than a little disheveled and… flabbergasted when you came out of the big lab complex wearing… pretty much nothing. It wasn’t nothing, it was once again some Na’vi clothes Kiri gifted you, but to him, it was nothing. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. Spider wears the exact same things all the time, less, if he thinks about it. And Na’vi women wear these things every day, it’s the only thing he knows, so why is this so strange to him?

He watched as you skipped down the stairs and made your way to him, a small bashful smile on your face. You brought your fingers to your forehead and greeted him and Lo’ak, and his heart skipped a beat. Just one, not a big deal. Right?

Neteyam couldn’t help the annoyance that built within him as he watched you and Lo’ak interacting, talking to each other like the whole world was your oyster, with your stupid inside jokes, and the stupid movie references he didn’t get, and you laughing and touching his shoulder playfully. He definitely didn’t like how his baby brother was looking at you, how he could tell he was feeling the same feelings Neteyam was, just masking them really poorly. This can’t happen.

“Sooo, where are we going? We can go meet Tuk and Kiri and help them look for beads and rocks?”

Neteyam saw Lo’ak push his head back and snore loudly, so loudly it scared some of the animals peacefully existing in the forest surrounding them.

“Don’t be mean. Anyway, you guys choose. Whatever you want, I’m yours today, boys.”

“Well, I definitely like the sound of that.”

That’s enough.

Neteyam caught up to both of you and pulled you by the arm. He keeps forgetting sometimes how small you are, how…fragile your body is compared to even a Na’vi child’s, so the movement jerks you violently and you gasp in pain.

“Neteyam, what the hell?”

He felt so bad, it almost drowned all the other ugly, festering feelings harbouring within him. Not quite, though.

“You need to go back and change.”

You looked at him, puzzled, not quite understanding what he was saying.

“What?” You glanced down at your clothes, trying to figure out if there is anything wrong with them.

“Why? Is there something wrong with them? Kiri made them for me, for my birthday, I wanted her to see me wearing them.”

“You’re almost naked. You need to change. Come, let’s go back.”

He started walking you back towards the lab, and he felt you struggle to release yourself from his grasp. You were putting all your might into it, he could tell, but to him, it felt like the resistance might as well be air. He let you go, not wanting to hold you without your consent.

“What the hell do you mean I’m almost naked? I’m wearing what you wear, what your people wear. I’m more covered than Spider ever is, and I’ve never heard you complain about how he’s dressed.”

“This is different.”

“How?” You were angry now, chest heaving with panted breaths, a dark look in your face, and your temper, that Neteyam feared a little and he knew Lo’ak did too, was fully flourished now, fully on display. Shit.

“It just is. Just trust me, please?” He was trying to calm you down, hoping you would just trust him and not question him any further. He should know better, you were your mother’s daughter after all.

“Trust you? You have some nerve, Neteyam. I’m going home. Don’t even think to come after me.”

He saw you stomp off, a little amused at how such a tiny being could be so so loud when she was angry. He heard you muttering as you left, so many words, so many curses, Neteyam cringed a little.

“Pigs. Boys. Misogynistic. Stupid. Pig-headed. Annoying. Boys.”

As you continued walking, the flurry of insults got lost as echoes in the forest, and Neteyam turned to his brother, who was already looking at him, disbelief all across his face.

“Bro, do you have a death wish or something?”

Neteyam ignored his question for two better ones. “What’s a pig….? What’s misogynistic?”

“You’re asking the wrong person, man. But I wouldn’t hold my breath it’s a compliment.”

Come back, come back, come back to me like

You could, you could if you just said you're sorry

I know that we could work it out somehow

But if this was a movie you'd be here by now

“Dick. Stupid, stupid boy. I can’t believe he would say that, how dare he tell me what to wear?”

The mumbling didn’t stop the whole way back to the lab, not as you entered, not as you took off your mask, not as you walked the hallways all the way to your room and shut the door forcefully behind you. You pressed play on your vintage record player and plopped yourself on your bed with a huff, fantasising about ways to get back at your annoying, aggravating, irksome boyf-… friend. Friend.

You could keep wearing it, you could just go to the village and let everyone see you. You could not let him in the next time he comes at night. Maybe a Palulukan would eat him and then he’d learn to not be such a little -.

“Ace? Are you ok? I heard you mumbling and shutting the door so loud I’m sure I pipetted the wrong amount of treatment on my cells.”

“I’m fine, it’s just… I’m fine.”

“Neteyam?”

“….no.”

“Oh, kid. Neteyam’s the only one that ever gets you this riled up. What did he do now?”

“He’s a misogynistic pig. Telling me what to wear or what not to wear.” You were again talking more to yourself than to anyone else, mumbling quietly, so much so Norm had to push his head further into the room so he could listen in.

“Oh, Ace.” Norm laughed heartily, amused at your teenage problems.

“He’s just… not used to seeing you like this.”

“But every other girl dresses like this. And Spider does, too.” You were pouting now, upset that Norm was defending him.

“Yes, Ace, but you’re not every other girl to him, and neither is Spider.” He snickers a little at his joke.

“Just… give him some time to adjust.”

You rolled your eyes in his direction, but relented. You still haven’t forgiven him, but at least your temper lost its edge now.

It was late, after eclipse, when you heard a pebble knock on your window with a small clink. You removed your eyes from the book you were reading for a second, huffing when you realised who it was. Too little, too late, friend.

Another pebble. Then another. Then a bigger one. Big enough that you worried for a second it was going to break through the window and kill you. Maybe he would kill you and then he’ll feel guilty for the rest of his life. You smirked a little, then discerned finally how petty you were being. With one last huff, you put the book down on the bed and got up, stomping to the entrance of the lab.

You put on a mask and opened the door, whisper-screaming in his direction.

“Neteyam!”

He came sheepishly, hands behind his back. He looked sad and guilty, embarrassed at himself and how he behaved.

“Atan…”

“Don’t ‘Atan’ me. Go away. It’s late. I was preparing to sleep.”

“No, you weren’t. You were in bed, reading a book. I know you struggle to sleep if I don’t come.”

Rats.

“I’m really sorry… really, really sorry. I don’t know what came over me. But I want you to know, it’s not because you’re a girl. It’s because…” He struggled with the words, looking around for divine inspiration to hit him. “I’m just not used to it, that’s all. But I shouldn’t have acted like that. I was crazy, and an asshole, and I’m sorry.” You watched as he pulled a bouquet of flowers from behind his back and you gasped, unable to hide your amazement. “I know humans give each other flowers to say they’re sorry? Please forgive me?”

You had to bite your lip to stop yourself from smiling like an idiot, like a smitten idiot, but you couldn’t help the tiny smile that escaped you as you nodded softly in his direction. He made his way to you and you took the flowers from him, smelling them as much as you could through the mask. Your heart thumped in your chest when you saw his hand make its way to the bottom of your mask, forcing you to look up at him. “You looked beautiful today. Really beautiful.”

I know people change and these things happen

But I remember how it was back then

Locked up in your arms and our friends were laughing

'Cause nothing like this ever happened to them

That night, that one night you would never forget was the first, but definitely not the last you fell asleep flush against Neteyam, your body so close to his, so intertwined you could feel each other, every curve, every breath and heartbeat.

That’s when things changed, when everything changed. Neither of you acknowledged it to themselves or to each other, but you both knew, deep inside. There was a consensus reached that he would come, that you would share a bed and a blanket, share space and oxygen, share every atom until there was nothing there separating you, not anymore, not for the rest of time. Or so you thought.

You wanted him. Wanted to tell him you loved him, you needed him. Wanted him to kiss you, wanted you to talk about what you both knew you meant for each other, wanted to talk about the future, wanted him to tell you he’d never leave you, he’d never find some random girl who will never, ever understand him, or know him, or have him like you did. Wanted him to put your mind to ease that you weren’t crazy to want this, that this wasn’t in your head. That it wasn’t wrong, or impossible, or cursed or forbidden. That it was right, it had to be right because how can anything wrong ever feel like this? How can it feel like the Universe conspired its entire existence just to put you two in it at the same time? When it felt like all the stars aligned just so you can be you and he could be him and you two can be who you were, together… forever.

“Neteyam?”

Your head was rested peacefully in the crook of his neck, deep silence all around you. It was bliss. You were warm, finally, you haven’t been cold in months, not with him in your bed, strong arms all around you, his tail wrapped tightly around your thigh. A low sound woke you up, deeply reverberating through your entire body.

You listened, and sure enough there it was again. It didn’t take long to realise the sound came from him, from the boy who dozed off next to you.

Your mum had a cat when she was a child back on Earth, that she loved greatly. She had so many photos and videos of her that you grew up watching, and the sounds emanating from Neteyam were… the same. He was… purring. Cats purred, your mum said, only when they were really happy. When they felt safe. When they were with loved ones.

You let out a small amused gasp, and reached out your hand to push back the braids that fell on his beautiful face. You couldn’t help it, and you put your head back where it was, in the crook of his neck, and listened as the calming sound melted all of your problems, all of your worries away.

You smiled in his neck, and before you could stop yourself, you placed a small kiss on it. Who needed pills to sleep when you had him?

Now I'm pacing up the hall, chasing down your street

Flashback to a night when you said to me

"Nothing's gonna change, not for me and you"

Not before I knew how much I had to lose

“Ow, ow! Grandma, you’re going to kill me one of these days.”

“Oh, Neteyam, stop complaining. Maybe don’t get injured so often if you don’t want me to have to do this every other day.”

Mo’at was clearly not in a joking mood today, Neteyam thought. Her hands were rough and the ointments harsh against his skin, leaving burning marks everywhere in their wake. Neteyam missed you every minute of every day, but particularly more in moments like this, when a minute felt like an eternity.

Lo’ak entered the tent and Neteyam could see him revelling a little, just a little, in his big brother’s pain. Lo’ak was mostly sympathetic towards Neteyam’s… predicament, but he still blamed him for the hurt he’s caused you, hurt that he had to see every day.

“Mighty Warrior.” He scoffed as he made his way to his own side of the tent, pulling something out of his box of trinkets.

“I debated even giving this to you. But we wouldn’t want the skin of the Perfect Son, the Perfect Soldier, the future Olo’eyktan to be blistering and irritated in any way, now do we?”

Neteyam let out a low growl in his brother’s direction. He was in no mood for this.

He caught the tube Lo’ak threw at his head with his perfect reflexes and almost dropped it when he realised what it was.

“D-did..um, did Norm give you this?”

“No. She gave me this. Even after all this time, she’s just worried about you, about your pain. She doesn’t want you to hurt. She’s a mess, even after all this time, and she still gave me this, so you wouldn’t suffer from your wounds.”

“If you ask me, you deserve it. And you don’t deserve her.”

Neteyam twirled the tube of numbing cream, one he knew too well, in his big hands, twisting it in every angle, imagining that she must have held it, must have touched it. Maybe if he tried hard enough, he could feel her, the residue of her warmth, of her scent he missed so much. All he felt was cold, just like the one that enveloped him permanently since he left.

“You’re right. I don’t. That’s why I left.”

If you're out there, if you're somewhere, if you're moving on

I’ve been waiting for you every day since you've been gone

I just want it back the way it was before

And I just want to see you back at my front door

Neteyam’s eyes stung with unshed tears as he listened to you play, as he had to pull himself away from the memories that won’t let him rest, won’t let him sleep at night, even more than a year after his departure. What has he done? He thought you would be better in time, that you’d both be better in time. He hoped what his mother said was true, that love wasn’t supposed to hurt, that he just needed to give you both space so you can heal individually, and this way your relationship… your friendship could be stronger, could be what it was supposed to be - the only thing it could be. But your love didn’t hurt. Hurting you hurt, seeing you in pain and crying, seeing you suffer hurt, but nothing about you ever hurt. The only time he was ever truly happy was in your presence, the only time he was ever free was in that clearing. The only time he ever felt love, true love, was holding you in his arms at night. The only time he ever felt alive was looking in your eyes. You were the only thing about this world that never hurt. That was always good and pure. And he thought the time apart would change that, would bring him perspective, would prove to him that Eywa had other plans for him, for the future Olo’eyktan, that this way, he could focus on his duties, on the future. That this way he would realise that what he felt for you was familial love that he confused in time with a crush, with something more. But nothing ever changed, not for you and him. Nothing ever would.

And I say come back, come back, come back to me like

You would before you said it's not that easy

Before the fight, before I locked you out

But I take it all back now

Is that the kind of ending you wanna see now?

Baby, what about the ending?

Taglist (thank you ily x) @changing7 @erenjaegerwifee @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @winchestertitties @puffb4ll @rebeccao03 @ultimatebluff @cottoncandy23 @zaddyneteyamlovergirl @n3t3y4msm4t3 @loquatious-josephi-krakousky @eternallyvenus @fresh-new-yoik-watah @lu-the-ghost-reader @@miawastakens @mm0thie @fanboyluvr @amortencjja @eywas-heir @tillys-writings

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cryptidkoretmblr · 1 year

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Wednesday Addams

Anyways here’s my takes and opinions about some of the most talked about aspects of the show that no one asked for!

1) Wednesday vs love interests, let’s break it down!

Tyler: I think I’m in a minority when I say I was rooting for them and still are? It is the most ADDAMS family thing ever to be dating a Hyde. Like you’re telling me they wouldn’t revel in that? I’m also a big enemies to lovers or lovers to enemies to lovers again fan so that explains it. I know his friendzone comments were out of left field, like many have pointed out as feeling odd to them, but Hunter Doohan said in an interview (https://collider.com/wednesday-tyler-relationship-hunter-doohan-comments/) that Tyler was always manipulating her. So if he NEEDED to be close for his and Laurel’s plan, then it just makes sense. On the topic, Hunter’s acting in the station when he drops the facade sent chills down my spine. Their relationship just tickles so many of my favorite tropes.

Enid: I also was rooting so hard for Enid!!! Also the show writers literally had to be coding her. Like I actually don’t know how the topic of wolfing out and c0nversion therapy came up and was greenlit otherwise like ,,,,, but yes, Enid transforming to save Wednesday, to hugging her, to actually being the one to crack her walls... *chefs kiss* I ALSO love the golden retriever and black cat vibe (I am in fact the black cat to my partners golden retriever). But yes, of course friendships can be just as rewarding and meaningful as romantic relationships which takes us to

No one (Aro/Ace): I also would be so happy if she is Aro/Ace, or anywhere on the spectrum. I have some friends who are, and romantic relationships aren’t everything!!! And the aro/ace community is long due for mainstream media representation.

Xavier: Look. I wanted to like him so bad. He had so much potential. I hope they up his character development because I was so lost by the time the Rave’N came around like what even was that with Bianca. Also why did he think she was using her siren song on her?

3) Gomez. Luis Guzman is literally the best casting of the comics you could have asked for. The younger version of him was phenomenal. I do wish he had some more energy, I really liked how eccentric and outgoing Raul Julia’s Gomez had been.

4) The biggest plot point that made exactly zero sense to me was the murders. In what world would either Addams be ashamed or try to hide it? It just seemed so out of place and is the biggest characterization flaw in the entire show tbh.

5) Arnisen as Fester. That’s it. That’s my take. Literally I could watch him all day.

Anyways that’s all I have for now. I’m obsessing over this show and need to scream into the void about my special interests :)

#wednesday #wednesday addams #addams family #tyler galpin #wednesday x xavier #wednesday x tyler #wednesday x enid #lgbtq #aro positivity #ace #ace positivity #enid sinclair #xavier thorpe #uncle fester #netflix #wednesday netflix #morticia addams #gomez addams #analysis

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lithiumcreepblog · 9 months

Text

Steve Harrington & Jonathan Byers’

The Great American Road Trip

Day 1. 07/21/1993. Chicago, IL to St. Louis, MO.

Day 1: Jonathan and I are on the Route 66. Finally. We have been planning this trip for a while, and we’re going from Chicago to Santa Monica the whole way through, then visiting Argyle. I’ve been wanting to go on a cross country road trip for a long time, so it’s great that we get to go now. We stopped by a vendor at the pier first and got some sunglasses for the road. Jonathan said I’m too obsessed with sunglasses. I don’t think so though. It’s not my fault I look incredibly cool in them. He looks really good in them too, not that he’ll ever admit it. He wouldn’t let me take a picture of him with two sunglasses on at the same time, but he looked pretty silly. We drove for a few hours to Springfield where we stopped for a quick lunch at a diner. Actually, Jonathan drove and I provided meaningful commentary the whole way. Jonathan also won’t stop filming everything he sees with his video camera… he’s making a film later of our trip. Robin told me I should keep a journal too, write down stuff I find interesting along the way. Which I saw a lot of. One of which is this big statue called The Gemini Giant in Wilmington. He had an astronaut helmet that looks more like a mask for welding, but it was pretty cool. My favorite stop of the day was the detour to the old brick road which is part of the original stretch of the Route. We’re already out of Illinois and made it to St. Louis even with all our stops. But it was already dark when we arrived so we’ll have to see the Arch tomorrow. I’m absolutely wiped because I took over the driving role after Springfield, but today was more fun than I even imagined.

“Do you really have to record everything?”

“Oh yes, this is very important. We’re capturing the essence of Americana… gorging yourself on a hamburger with bacon. Pure American decadence.”

“Give me that, I’m not being the only one with my mouth open on camera.”

“Alright, alright. Here you go, get a shot of our milkshakes together.”

“So, Jonathan. Tell the camera, how have I been as a road trip companion so far?”

“Hmm, very distracting.”

“What? I’m offended.”

“Don’t look at me like a kicked puppy, I mean it in a good way. I’ve just never seen you this lively or taken with anything, that’s all. This is about fulfilling your dream as much as it is about mine. It is like being a kid all over again, isn’t it? Going places we’ve never been before and seeing new things. It’s just hard to focus on the road when your eyes are lighting up beside me with every weird landmark we pass.”

“Nice save there, Jon. I am glad we get to do this together. It’s already some of the most fun I’ve had, and you are a great partner to go on a road trip with.”

“Likewise, Steve. I can’t believe we’ve never done this before.”

“And why don’t you give us something from that book of yours as parting words for anyone who might be seeing this?”

“I don’t think we’ll be showing this to anyone but sure… let’s see… okay, here. ‘What is that feeling when you’re driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing?—It’s the too-huge world vaulting us, and it’s good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.’”

“Alright… I think I understood what that means… now, back on the road!”

Steve & Jonathan listen to this on repeat for about 5 times before they both grow tired of it. Steve then wonders if there are any other songs about Route 66 to which Jonathan goes on a 15 minute long lecture about the origin of the song, from Nat King Cole to the other renditions. Steve listens with a fond smile as Jonathan becomes more animated behind the wheel, and plays the tape again just for the fun of it.

Souvenirs obtained: one fridge magnet that says Route 66 Illinois for Joyce, one miniature car to put on Steve’s shelf, one postcard set for the memories.

#stonathan #jonathan byers #steve harrington #moodboard #ficlet #fanwork #no plot just vibes #stranger things #back on my stonathan bullshit #literally nobody asked for this #but i need to see them go on a road trip together #could also be part of my chicago chronicles series…?#if anyone even knows what that is #should i keep going?#i probably will #Spotify #sj tgart #<- for tracking

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dropout-if · 8 months

Note

I FORGOT TO SEND THIS ASK OMG BUT it was birthday yesterday!! officially in my 20s now! how would the ros celebrate mc's bday??

- obligatory bday ask anon

Happy slightly belated birthday anon🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️💕

Jade/Jean

J doesn't like surprises and they refuse to make any plans for MC's birthday a secret.

They like organizing a party, or a smaller gathering if MC prefers something more low-key. J is very attentive to MC's needs in that regard. Every single detail is bound to be perfect though.

Romanced J would gift MC a love letter. Otherwise, MC is probably getting a book (J is terrible at giving gifts jwjdiw).

Uma

Uma doesn't have it in them to make grand plans, and they would organize a more intimate celebration.

This includes a picnic, visiting an art gallery, a concert, or simply relaxing at home with your favorite movie and snacks.

Uma would likely gift MC something cute (I can't help thinking about a crochet frog hat dkskd) and meaningful.

Statler

J has huge dad (gn) energy and Statler has mom (gn) energy. They'd fuss about MC’s birthday and try to make the day perfect for them^^

They'd cook and bake all day obsessively, and they'd plan a cozy, intimate gathering at their home for MC’s birthday.

As for presents, Statler and their siblings (mostly Statler ofc) would all contribute to getting MC a bracelet or necklace.

Wanda

As priorities go, Wanda wants MC’s birthday to be fun. She asks what they're up to do and is happy following along with MC's preferences.

If it was up to Wanda, she would like to get away from the neighborhood and take MC to the amusement park.

Wanda would give MC a fun mixtape with their favorite songs. + Gabi would draw something for MC.

Kai

Kai was the kind of kid who didn't really get invited to birthday parties so this is all a bit new for them wkdkak

Kai would want to party at the bar—filled with music, laughter (and plenty of drinks). They'd encourage MC to let loose and enjoy the night.

Giving gifts is Kai’s love language and they’d probably shower MC with little presents the entire day.

Travis

Travis doesn't celebrate his birthday but MC’s is different and he likes being prepared.

He’d plan something low-key and comfortable. A cozy evening in which they'd cook, watch movies... Travis would include MC's other friends too.

As for gifts, Travis would want to give MC something he knows they’d find useful. So if MC needs anything, Travis is getting it for them.

#dropout if #dropout #ask #ros #j gray #kai alofa #statler amani #travis camaro #uma bharat #wanda pavon

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ambiguousthoughtsinsilence · 5 months

Text

my year of boygenius

Why do we listen to music? Is it just melodic noise that provides background to our daily existence or is it a space where we look for meaning, purpose and beauty? This is a false question, as music can be all of these things, but it is so much more. For many people, the beauty of music gives their life meaning, whether listening or creating it. Most of us will have fond memories of listening to the radio in the car or discovering an album that transported us to a seemingly magical place, expanding our understanding of what music could be and do (e.g. Jeff Buckley’s Grace for me).

Growing up in a relatively small town by the Baltic Sea, one of my favourite activities was to go to the seaside in winter, when it was stripped of human presence, sit down on the staircase of a lifeguard’s lookout and listen to the songs on my iPod. Years before that I had a silver cassette player and a CD player that I always carried with me, along with a CD wallet. Music has always been a comforting presence in my life. But even in this rich history, there are certain albums and artists that have had such a transformative impact on my life that they have become part of who I am. There are not many albums that fall into this category, but this year one of them did appear.

In March, 2023 the record had come out, the first full LP from boygenius. As I listened to it for the first time, I knew it was going to embed itself in my brain as I was going to play it again and again and again. I became obsessed with the record and the three women responsible for creating it - Lucy Dacus, Julien Baker and Phoebe Bridgers.

It was like being a teenage girl again, eagerly watching interviews, trying to find out ways in which to watch their Coachella performances and following a fan account that reposted every live video and tour photo imaginable. People always talk about separating art from the artist, but the songs on the record felt so grounded and rooted in familiarity, like they were made by people that felt real and compassionate and vulnerable. In interviews they would talk about books and artists they admired and how they valued each other, and for someone, who has long felt that romantic love should not be valued more than friendship, it felt almost revolutionary to hear that as a foundation of an indie ‘supergroup’s’ ethos.

In August I had a chance to attend Oyafestivalen with my best friend Tina, who had very kindly gifted me a ticket. boygenius were due to play in the early hours of the evening. This was my first time seeing them live.

‘I want to hear your story / And be a part of it’ / boygenius- without you, without them

Making meaningful connections with other people is probably one of the, if not the most, important things you can do with your life. As I stood on a lawn in Oslo and kept bawling my eyes out, I couldn’t help, but end up in existential ponderings about love, loneliness and human connection and the fact that my closest friend was sharing the gig with me. We live thousands of km apart, but I love her loads and appreciate that she’s a part of my life.

‘And it feels good/ To be known so well/ I can’t hide from you / Like I hide from myself’ / boygenius- true blue

After the concert ended, I sat down by a tree to regain my composure, tear streaked cheeks and red eyes, an emotional outpouring and connection that meant so much to me. A few weeks later, I saw them headlining at Gunnersbury Park, this time sharing it with Tina again and my other friend Peter. This experience was less rooted in existential ponderings and more just an overwhelming sense of joy. It was a scorchingly hot day and multiple people fainted, however everyone around helped to get those people taken care of as quickly as possible.

Queer care and joy was ever present in this audience, people had arrived with wonderfully crafted items of clothing or little references to boygenius lyrics on them. Tina and I handed out pink carnations to the younger girls behind us. There is something strange about loving a band, whose audience seems much younger than you are, but maybe the best kind of music manages to reach something within us that is shared, regardless of age.

As the fireworks went up into the dark night sky, I felt so much joy. This time their music had reached the part of me that felt an immense gratitude for being alive and being able to experience such happiness with more than 20’000 people. This performance felt even more explosive and raw, but also funny and deeply meaningful. It seemed that all of us were treating ourselves to some self-belief.

‘will you be a nihilist with me / if nothing matters, man that’s a relief / Solomon had a point when he wrote Ecclesiastes/ if nothing can be known, then stupidity is holy / if the bore becomes a void, we’ll treat ourselves to some self-belief’ / boygenius - Satanist

The last time I saw them live was thanks to Peter, in a small and intimate acoustic set in Kingston. It was another very special experience as the songs had become embedded in my brain and hearing them acoustically felt quite different from the previous shows with a full backing band, here were the three people who were responsible for all those captivating melodies. They embody a vulnerable compassion and a reliance on friendship that feels authentic, and it is wonderful to see creativity blossom from a place of deep love and appreciation for each other.

The record is an album I have grown to love deeply, because it seems to fit whatever mental state I am in. Without You, Without Them for when I want to remind myself of the love I feel for my friends, Cool About It as a reminder that all of have had to play it cool, when someone has hurt us deeply, Not Strong Enough and Anti-Curse for when my mental health lies somewhere in the bottom of the bin. Whatever I am going through, I can find comfort in knowing that the record is there to give me solace and company, whether I am staring at the ceiling or going on a walk around North London.

#boygenius #personal #personal essay #music #album #albumoftheyear

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hairstevington · 11 months

Text

flowers and ink (part 8)

Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Summary: Chrissy stops by the shop to have a necessary conversation. Speaking of necessary conversations, Eddie pays a visit to Steve afterwards.

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, link to Ao3

Word Count: 2.6K

Warnings: TattooArtist/Florist modern day AU, this one gets kind of emotional actually??? Deep conversations about their pasts, pretty on-par with canon stuff, and then a very sweet ending :)

A/N: Okay, you guys - we're headed to the finish line! After this I most likely will just post one more chapter as an epilogue of sorts. Thank you to all who have followed along!! I never expected this one to get this much love!!

Steve and Eddie saw each other for three days in a row over their first three dates. After that, neither of them wanted to break their streak.

Yeah. They were both totally obsessed with each other.

They didn’t go on dates every night, but they’d at least visit each other during breaks on days when they both worked. And they texted constantly. Eddie even joined in on Robin and Steve’s movie night, which apparently was a big deal. They’d only ever let one other person crash their movie night, a surrogate little brother figure of Steve’s who was friends with Will.

Steve still never pressed Eddie for more information about his past, which was great, but the weird thing was that Eddie actually wanted to tell Steve about his life.

That was a first.

It probably didn’t help that it was all on his mind from seeing Gareth and Chrissy over the weekend. Just a lot of reminders of what happened and what he left behind. He tried to remind himself of how he was happier now, and the new life he’d built for himself, but he still felt guilty.

So, when Chrissy showed up to Ink About It, Eddie wasn’t the least bit surprised, and he knew exactly what she wanted to know.

“Hey,” she said with a warm smile. “Do you have some time to squeeze me in?”

“Always,” Eddie replied, gesturing for her to join him in the office. “So, are we getting a tattoo today or just addressing the elephant in the room? Or, maybe you want a tattoo of a giant elephant in a room? Let me know and I’m at your service. I owe it to you, after all.”

He was rambling. He knew he was. But he was nervous and embarrassed and a ton of other things. The truth was, he’d loved Chrissy in high school. Like real, deep, meaningful love, and then he cut her off. He cut everyone off, but that was no excuse.

“I’m not mad at you, you know,” Chrissy said. The sentence made Eddie stop dead in his tracks and spin around to face her. “Not anymore, anyway.”

“That’s, uh, good,” Eddie stuttered. He was eased by the fact that Chrissy seemed a bit nervous, too.

“Well,” she said on an exhale. “You heard my side of things at the show. Your turn.”

Thank God the tattoo shop was dead. He didn’t have an appointment for another hour, and it was during their slowest time of day so he doubted anyone would walk in.

“Thanks for saying all that, by the way,” Eddie replied. “You could have made me sound like a real dick.”

The way that Chrissy had painted their whole relationship in a positive light was the only reason he’d been able to hold it together during and after the show. If she’d talked shit about him on that stage, he probably would have skipped town a second time due to humiliation.

But she didn’t do that.

“Yeah, well, lucky for you, I didn’t write the show when I was eighteen,” she teased. “Although there are some very angsty poems in a journal somewhere that I should probably burn.” Eddie laughed, then nodded in understanding.

“I have some….really angsty songs that have never seen the light of day,” he noted.

“Oh, I bet. The ones I did hear were already pretty scary,” she joked, laughing lightly.

Eddie used to play all of his original songs for her. Well, almost all of them. There was one he wrote about how he was pretty sure he liked men that he never got the chance to show her. In any case, the way she was still joking and being her familiar sweet self (as opposed to her badass, confident stage persona) made Eddie feel a bit more relaxed. He took a deep breath, noticing the way she was waiting for him to speak.

Here goes nothing.

“I didn’t graduate, Chris,” he began. Her eyes went wide.

“What?! No, you - you did. We graduated together. You just didn’t go because you were sick.”

“I didn’t go because I got busted for selling and then was expelled,” Eddie admitted. “I was barely passing my classes anyway. Most of the teachers took pity on me just so I didn’t have to retake the year. But then uh - well, yeah. I got kicked out.”

“But I didn’t -” Chrissy was completely stunned. “I had no idea.”

“I didn’t tell anyone,” he replied.

He hadn’t. The only person that knew was his uncle. Wayne was the only family member that gave a shit about Eddie, so naturally he was Eddie’s phone call the day of the arrest. Wayne bailed him out and, next thing Eddie knew, he was in Hawkins.

“Anyway,” Eddie continued. “I was so embarrassed I just…left and didn’t look back. At the time I thought you were better off without me, honestly. You said it yourself - before you met me, you hadn’t even smoked before.”

“Before I met you I was -” Chrissy scoffed and shook her head, baffled. “I start the show talking about the day I met you for a reason. It’s because my life began that day, Eddie. You weren’t some bad influence that corrupted me, you were an escape from - from my shitty friends and my even shittier mom. And you were what sparked me to figure out who I was, and that’s special to me. You were my best friend. And you could have told me.”

Her final sentence stung, but it was a good kind of sting. His secret was finally on the table, and she was still there. She was still supporting him.

“I know that now,” he replied. “I’ve wanted to reach out for ages, but it felt like the more time that went by-”

“I understand,” she said, nodding. “I get it. It’s okay, I just - I missed you.”

Chrissy closed the gap between them and hugged him tightly, an embrace that Eddie quickly accepted.

“I missed you too,” he responded. They held each other for a few extended moments, then broke away, a tension off their shoulders. “Do you live here now?”

“For the time being,” she answered. “Argyle and I move around a lot. We just kind of point somewhere on a map and go.”

“Shit, and you ended up here?” Eddie asked, surprised. “That’s, like, a crazy coincidence.”

“Yeah, well Argyle always tells me that we end up exactly where we’re meant to go,” Chrissy responded, smiling.

“I like that guy,” Eddie said, nodding.

“Of course you do,” she teased. “You’re both weird stoners with awesome hair.” Eddie laughed, flattered at the compliment. He took a moment to look at her - the way she looked just as she did, but so different at the same time. More laugh lines in her face, for one. Her hair was shinier and fuller. There was more color to her skin. Eddie wondered if that was what happiness looked like.

“Just so we’re clear,” Eddie said, needing to say one last thing before they moved on. “What you said about me on stage the other day -” He didn’t need to specify. Chrissy spoke about their relationship fondly and candidly. “It was the same for me.”

“I know,” she replied, smiling more brightly now. “Okay! So, we finally got that out of the way.”

“Finally,” Eddie echoed. “Now what?”

“Now,” she started, “we talk about your boyfriend and his ridiculously hot friend.”

Eddie chuckled, then nodded.

“Okay, well first of all, he’s not my boyfriend.” Chrissy eyed him, knowingly, which he chose to ignore.

“Whatever,” Chrissy dismissed. “Figures we’re both queer, by the way. I love that for us.”

“They say we travel in packs,” Eddie joked. Chrissy nodded in agreement. “Anyway, Robin’s awesome. Have you gone out with her yet?”

“Tonight!” Chrissy responded. “And I’m very excited. That’s another reason I came here. I wanted to clear the air in case you come up in conversation, because it seems like anything I tell her will just go straight to your boyfriend -”

“Not my boyfriend,” Eddie reminded her, smirking.

“Why not? I saw the way you look at each other,” Chrissy noted.

“Because it’s only been a few weeks,” Eddie pointed out.

“And?” she prodded.

“It’s too soon,” Eddie insisted, pretending to scratch at a spot on his cheek to hide the blush creeping up his face. “Moving on.”

“Moving on,” Chrissy replied with a smug grin.

She stuck around the tattoo shop to catch up until his next appointment, and it felt a lot like old times. Eddie thought for the longest time he’d burned every bridge from his hometown, but recently he’d learned that he’d left the water underneath unscathed.

Who needed a bridge when Chrissy and Gareth could swim?

Steve worked at a literal flower shop, and yet he was just starting to truly understand the expression, ‘stop and smell the roses.’

He was in total bliss. Things with Eddie were great. It had been a long time since Steve had felt such an easy connection with someone. They clicked on pretty much every level. And, best of all, Eddie got along with Robin too. If she approved of him, that basically meant - well, it was a big deal.

So, he felt lighter at work now. He was better at handling customers. He started to memorize the things Robin used to constantly have to remind him of. Being around plants all day almost made him feel high - like the air was better or something. Actually, Steve wasn’t the most academic guy, but he was pretty sure being around plants and flowers all day did give him a better oxygen supply. He kept telling himself to ask Robin or Google it, but then he’d get distracted thinking about Eddie.

The joys of the honeymoon phase.

It was the night that Robin was going to go out with Chrissy for the first time. She was, naturally, a ball of nerves, but in a good way. Steve had high hopes for their date.

“You are way too happy lately,” Robin told him. “It’s spooky.”

“Yeah, well -” Steve began, stumbling on a response. “Get used to it.”

He sent her off, and then checked his phone.

Eddie: Can I stop by?

Okay, normally that kind of text would send Steve into blind panic, but he tried to remain optimistic. This could be a nice surprise visit, not a devastating one. He sat in the silent apartment for approximately 30 seconds before the overthinking began.

The last time he’d seen Eddie, everything was fine. Nothing out of the ordinary. Although, Steve had never been the most observant. He wracked his brain going over their last interactions to see if he’d maybe missed something.

Oh, shit. Never mind, he was for sure panicking.

Steve: Of course! Robin left so it’s just us 🙂 ETA?

Eddie: On my way now, see you soon!

Well, at least he was using punctuation. Although, that didn’t mean anything necessarily. Steve had been dumped a few times, and -

No, come on. He was not about to get dumped. They weren’t even officially together, so an in-person visit to end things wouldn’t make sense.

This was fine. Everything was fine.

The door opened ten minutes later. Thank god.

“Hey,” Eddie greeted as he walked in. He seemed a little nervous, but not upset. “How was your day?”

If he was going to break up with Steve, he wouldn’t have bothered with the pleasantries, right?

“It was good, how was yours?” Steve asked, doing his best impression of a Chill Person™.

“Chrissy stopped by the shop today,” Eddie began. “And we just - I hadn’t talked to her in so long, and it was really nice.”

Steve let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding in.

“That does sound nice,” he replied.

“Listen, Steve, I -” Eddie shifted his weight back and forth on his feet. “There’s a lot about my life I don’t talk about. Like, from before I moved here. I hadn’t told anybody about it until today, actually.”

“Dude, were you in the mob or something?” Steve asked, completely lost. “Just tell me what’s going on before I burst.”

“Wait, why are you nervous?” Eddie wondered.

“Uhh, because you sent me an ominous text message asking if you could ‘stop by’ and you’re taking for-goddamn-ever in telling me why,” Steve joked. Eddie literally facepalmed.

“Oh, Jesus Christ. You’re right, my bad.” Steve chuckled in relief. “No, it’s not - that’s not why I came over, trust me.”

“Okay, cool.” Steve waited for Eddie to continue. “So?”

“I just - I feel like I have to tell you something.”

“Okay, now you’re doing the ominous thing again,” Steve said, rolling his eyes playfully. “Come on, talk to me.”

“I was arrested when I was eighteen for selling drugs to minors,” Eddie blurted out. His eyes went wide, as if he hadn’t expected the words to actually come out. “I mean, to high school students. And it was just weed, by the way.” Steve crossed his arms, waiting for more.

“Okay,” he said, relatively unfazed.

“You’re not - wait, why aren’t you judging me?”

“Because I bought weed all the time in high school. That’s not much different.”

“I mean, it’s a little different,” Eddie argued. “But okay. Well I - I never graduated high school, either. I don’t have a diploma.”

“Okay,” Steve repeated. “Do you need one?”

“I - well, no, but - what are you - how do - but - I -”

“Okay, woah,” Steve said, chuckling. He walked to Eddie and put a hand on each side of him. “You know I was a mess when I was a teenager too, right? I already told you about some of the shit I got into. I also started a lot of fights - and I lost all of them, by the way. I’m pretty sure if I get one more concussion I’ll die. And I have a diploma, but I didn’t get into any colleges -”

“You mean you don’t care about anything I just told you?” Eddie asked, confused. “You don’t think of me any differently?”

“What? No, why would I?” Steve answered casually. “I used to be a total asshole, and I should have gotten a lot worse than I did. I was just lucky and rich, that’s all.”

“You were rich?” Steve chuckled.

“Yeah, past tense,” he clarified. “I was such an asshole that my parents disowned me the second I turned eighteen.”

“Shit,” Eddie said, exhaling. Steve’s hands slid down Eddie’s arms to his hands, fingers interlocking.

“I don’t care about that stuff,” Steve assured him. “You don’t still sell drugs, right?”

“No,” Eddie replied, shaking his head.

“Just like I’m not an asshole anymore,” Steve continued. “Right?”

“You’re the nicest person I’ve ever met, I think,” Eddie responded quickly. Once again, he seemed alarmed at what he was saying.

“That sounds…impossible,” Steve teased, leaning in to kiss Eddie gently on the cheek. “But I’ll take it.”

Eddie could literally feel his heart warming in his chest. He’d spent years holding all of this inside, and carrying so much shame within him. But he’d gotten forgiveness from Chrissy, and Steve was entirely unbothered.

Steve - the Flower Boy who took Eddie completely by surprise in the best way. He’d never imagined falling so hard for a guy like him, yet here he was. It was like what Argyle apparently said - we all end up where we’re meant to go.

Eddie fully intended on befriending Argyle next, by the way.

“Hey, Steve?” Eddie whispered, their foreheads pressed together.

“Yeah?”

“You wanna be my boyfriend?”

He didn’t plan on asking this particular night. As he’d told Chrissy, they hadn’t been dating very long, and it was still early. But Eddie was on a roll, and the moment felt right.

Steve smiled, confirming that he felt it, too.

“Yeah, I’d love to be your boyfriend.”

(final part)

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@paintballkid711 @abraca-fxckyou @allbimyself26 @jellybabiesforall @allbymyselfexceptformycactus @justaloadofgarbage-blog @alliemunsonsstuff @undreamingnscatworld @hobbitnarwhal @calivanus @wreckmyplans-thatsmyman @antheia @goodolefashionedloverboi @lillemilly @missmagillicuddy @gamerdano @menamesniall @eyeslikewildflowers111 @callmesirkay @stringischeese @eds-trashmouth @mnl-enuh @redfreckledwolf @itsanarrum @soulsofstarsliveinyourveins @stevesbipanic @momotonescreaming @aryakanojiaa @wrenisflying @comicmadlover @lilacrobin @itch-my-b0nez @anonymousbandgirl @disastardly @dangdirtydemons @daisyellsong @val-from-lawrence @starryeyedpoet17 @taikawaiteatea @clumsiluni @hollysimone @swimmingbirdrunningrock @witchofhawkins @steddiegarbage @suddenlyinlove @ricekristytreaty @eddielives1986 @bunnyweasley23 @thefailcollection @ppunkpuppyy @bestwifehaver @httpsphynx @irregular-child @skjachukson @deadfromtheneckdown

#eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie #steddie fic #flowers and ink #writing

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