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eggroll-sama · 1 month

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Who’s My Roommate?

The Touchstarved cast are at a hotel and can’t decide who will be their roommates. Some are against certain pairings. You don’t really care, but they seem they’ve got a few colorful opinions || Touchstarved LI x reader. All of them have a crush on you, but you’re oblivious. I had this in my drafts for a while but I finally got the motivation to finish it. Just light-hearted shenanigans. Sorry if there are any typos!

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“I don’t want Leander,” said Vere, his arms crossed and glaring at the man across from him.

They didn’t think deciding on rooming buddies would be so hard. There were exactly three rooms, side by side, and anyone who knew basic math understood there would be two people per room. The problem was, who and who?

Vere and Ais were the first pairing that came to mind. But then Mhin complained that they didn’t want to hear them having sex at two in the morning. You and Kuras could sympathize so argued that, no, Vere and Ais cannot be together in the same room. Vere was angry, Ais was indifferent. He preferred Vere’s company over others, but as long as he didn’t get Mhin he was fine. He found the idea of Mhin aiming a knife to his neck fun, but in the end he didn’t want to deal with them pestering him like a fly.

And then there was Leander. If they went off the reason of not wanting to hear someone having sex, then Leander was tough. He had had sex with half of the members in the group: Ais, Mhin, and (maybe) Vere. You still didn’t really know if they did it or not.

“I wouldn’t mind sleeping in the same room as Leander,” you said. Everyone stiffened except for the man in question, who had a cocky smile on his face. Secretly, everyone wanted to room with you, but they didn’t want to admit it.

Kuras stepped in before Leander could make a comment, and steered the conversation to possibly drawing sticks so it would be fair for everyone and well, not everyone was happy with their partners. Vere got Leander, Mhin got Ais, and you got Kuras. You weren’t against Kuras being your roommate; he was a gentleman and minded his own business. He didn’t seem like he was against rooming with you either. The others were not so happy with their results.

“I’m not rooming with a monster,” Mhin spat, venom lacing their words, glaring holes in the back of Ais’ head.

Ais ignored them, while Vere rolled his eyes.

“Oh yeah, well nobody wants to deal with an annoying midget like you. I think you forgot to pack your booster seat.”

Vere snickered as Mhin’s face turned red from anger.

“Hey hey now hold on, MC said that they were fine with rooming with me, so why not just leave the two of us out of it?” Leander said, arms snaking around your shoulder.

“No, you soft penis numbskull. You’re not rooming with MC.” Mhin stepped in. When the others looked at Mhin curiously, they coughed nervously and looked away.

You tried to lighten the mood with a joke, “Ais and Leander are best friends. We should room them together.”

The corner of Leander’s smile frayed at your joke. Ais narrowed his eyes at you. At least Vere was laughing, probably at you for your failed attempt to lighten the mood, but at least he laughed. You drew into yourself. You’ve forgotten the others were getting quite annoyed by the arguing. This was serious business that might mean life or death.

“How about we draw sticks again?” You suggested meekly, trying to move past the awkwardness.

“No, it’s just a waste of time,” intervened Vere, “we all clearly have our preferences, so how about we list anyone we don’t want to room with? I go first. I hate all four of you, fortunately, so I’m going to room with Ais or no one.”

“I don’t have a preference,” said Leander with a blush.

“We know,” Vere rolled his eyes.

“At this point let’s just room the two people that are the doormats of this group, Leander and Vere. It’s the easiest way to deal with them,” said Mhin.

“Or how about we room Leander in one room and Vere in the other one, and then we all share the last one,” you suggest. At this point you were running out of ideas and throwing them out randomly hoping you would hit a jackpot.

“I’m not invited to the foursome? That is unfortunate to hear,” Vere said.

“It’s getting too complicated. Room Vere with MC, Mhin with Leander, and me and Kuras. That should be good,” suggested Ais, getting impatient.

“I’m afraid that would be endangering MC’s safety,” said Kuras coolly, ignoring Vere’s exasperated reaction.

He quickly switched to his flirty demeanor, a coy smile on his lips, “Oh, but I don’t bite. Unless they ask me.” Mhin scoffed in the background. Kuras was expressionless. If he reacted to Vere’s tasteless innuendos, he would give the fox exactly what he wanted. So he stayed quiet and didn’t let his face give anything away.

“I agree with Kuras on this one. A bloody, mangled corpse is the last thing we want to deal with,” said Mhin. Though Mhin said this, you knew that they cared about your safety.

Ais sighed in defeat, pulling out a cigarette and a match, “I’m going out for a smoke.” You couldn’t blame him, they’ve been arguing for the past thirty minutes. Ais walked off to the entrance of the hotel.

Seeing Ais walk off, Vere waved their fingers before sauntering off in the same direction.

“The dog went to take a walk with it’s owner. Good grief,” said Mhin.

“We still need to get this rooming situation settled. I’m sure the others won’t mind if we decided without them,” said Kuras.

He sighed, “From what I’ve observed, the best rooming pairs seems like the fox and Ais, Mhin and MC, and Leander and I. We’ll take the middle room, Mhin and MC take the left, and Vere and Ais the right. That way Mhin wouldn’t be disturbed from any unnecessary sounds at night.”

“I could live with that,” said Mhin.

Leander didn’t seem too pleased with the end-result, but he wasn’t going to complain, “Alright. Guess I get to room with the good doctor tonight. Hey, maybe we can finally get some dinner, you and I.”

“Perhaps,” said Kuras, but from his indifferent expression and hollow tone it sounded more like a no.

“Ah,” was all Leander said. You could see the cogs turning behind his eyes. Then, he pulled out a deck of cards from his pocket, “I brought cards with me. Anyone wanna play Poker in an hour or two, our room?”

You smiled, “I like Poker. Bet I could beat you,” you nudged his shoulder teasingly.

“Sure.” Leander said with a laugh, but the way he said it almost sounded…condescending? You raised your brows, but before you could fully process it, Leander had already started speaking, “Would the doctor like to join as well?”

Must’ve been my imagination.

“I suppose if you are going to play in our room, I could join for a game or two.”

Kuras reply seemed to brighten Leander’s mood from the thinly-veiled rejection for dinner a few seconds ago.

“Great! How about you Mhin!”

“I’m tired.” Mhin grabbed their bags and started heading for the elevator, ignoring Leander’s invitation. You saw Leander’s smile falter.

“I’ll try convincing them,” you whispered to Leander who gave you an appreciative smile.

You had the keys to the room, so after saying goodbye to the other two, quickly followed after your small companion.

“I’m glad I get to room with you, Mhin,” you said while waiting for the elevator with them.

Mhin huffed at your words, turning away, “Right.” In the corner of your eyes you could see their pale skin get pinker just a tad. You smiled to yourself at their reaction. You weren’t really sure what the rest of the day will entail, but at least you were able to get through the hurdle of deciding who will be your roommate.

#touchstarved game #I don’t have a sequel in mind for this #I thought it was a really funny idea #touchstarved x reader #mhin x reader #ais x reader #leander x reader #kuras x reader #vere x reader #roommates #touchstarved kuras #touchstarved Leander #touchstarved Ais #touchstarved vere #touchstarved Mhin #touchstarved fic

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m4xwell16 · 3 months

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man makes pancakes so bad they undo years of nerve damage, asked to leave bistro

#dead plate #dead plate game #dead plate rody #dead plate vincent #rody lamoree #vincent charbonneau #rodyvince #vincerody #i thought this was a really funny idea #loosely based off like #when ppl would eat gross stuff #to bring their taste back #after they were sick #i don’t know. this was funnier in my head

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radplaidtacofan · 1 year

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One of my favourite parts of TotK is that immediately after witnessing the gayest fucking statue of Link and Sidon you learn that Sidon is heterosexually engaged

Top tier comedy. Shippers are in absolute shambles

#sidlink #tears of the kingdom #totk #legend of zelda #tears of the kingdom spoilers #it's me i'm in shambles #i saw the statue and was like “forreal?!” then got immediate whiplash #not that i REALLY thought Nintendo would confirm sidlink #just. that statue.#the insistence that they're “very best friends” is funny since link clearly had no idea his friend was dating much less engaged

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locusfandomtime · 9 months

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there they are… the hermit crabs

#not really sure what the point of making this was I just got an idea and thought it was funny #locus fandom time #not gonna tag individual characters because I’d feel bad lol #hermitblr #hermitcraft #shitpost #if you don’t know who’s who they’re in alphabetical order btw #edit: the alphabetical order is a bit messed up because it’s based off the website which has 50% nicknames 50% full usernames #sorry! scar is after Ren and beef is before Wels and Jev is after iskall

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karmicpunishment · 10 months

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atsushi starts taking some college classes and meets some friends and one turns out to be one of kunikidas former students

#atsushi notices the kid solves a problem the same way kunikida taught him too and is like #oh that looks familiar #the reveal comes farther in the semester when they get to talking more about atsushis job and coworkers #they trade funny kunikida stories #kunikida feels a disturbance in the force back at the office #i want to add more college!atsushi idea later but this one is just really fun to me to start #bsd #bsd atsushi #nakajima atsushi #bsd atsushi nakajima #kunikida doppo #bungou stray dogs kunikida #kunikida bsd #bsd au #bsd headcanons #karmic’s thoughts

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royaltea000 · 9 days

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cannot STAND this guy

#the first time I draw lietpru interacting and it’s this #I’m so sorry to my lietpru likers out there #also sorry for the quality I drew this when I was half blind and exhausted but wouldn’t go to bed for some reason #so I really had no idea what it looked like until this morning #😭#also this might be ooc but I thought it would be funny lol so it doesn’t matter #he would NOT fucking say that #no one would it’s the Middle Ages why are you talking about poppin your snatch do you want to be burned at the stake #lietpru #does this count lol #hws prussia #hws lithuania #aph teutonic knights #gilbert beilschmidt #tolys laurinaitis #digital art #my art #fanart

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squuote · 1 month

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I like that the narrator seemingly chose stanley as his targeted office worker that would best fit his story just by how he eagerly functioned and followed every command given to him. and then the moment stanley did not get to press his buttons, he made sure to make the narrator’s life a living hell. imagine choosing the guy who usually always listens and then find out he specifically has it out for you.

#crow thoughts #this is coinciding with the idea that the office was a thing before the parable #but also I just think it’s super funny #how he essentially was like yeah this dude LOVES being told what to do and pressing buttons #and then he specifically denies every command you give him #really really funny #sorry I need my daily fix of parable content and I haven’t gotten it yet #the stanley parable

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mumblesplash · 1 year

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pov you’re the wither and you have about 30 seconds to live

(the marks under his eye just say ‘RIP’ in sga/enchantment table language if anyone was curious)

#my art #witchcraft smp #smajor95 #i just thought it was funny seeing as his whole deal is not letting people do that #the idea was actually that he was *about* to summon the wither which is why the sword’s in his off hand you know what nobody cares topsy #the witchcraft smp kinda got me tho ngl i literally have like 4 things i want to draw from this episode alone #i keep saying this but i really need to start just posting stuff and not letting myself finish it bc i want to draw so many #and frankly almost none of it needs to be polished but i keep getting carried away and not having time for other drawings >:[#i even do this fully aware that people in general like sketches *more* than finished stuff! my brain doesn’t care!#anyway enough about me how about those block game witches

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creakysocks · 10 months

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"...So have you like... considered... *not* making another collider that could potentially break reality as we know it???"

"I mean I did but then i thought of what we'd be missing out on!"

"And what would that be??"

"More holes!"

idk im just thinking abt this au again

#supervillain sidekicks au #spiderverse #aaron davis #miles morales #the spot #atsv #I just keep rotating this au... have made a whole little dialogue between miles and aaron for this and its just #gaaahhhh so many ideas #between aaron surviving and just how that plays out over the course of a year #and then meeting spot and dealing w him #and the fact that aaron and spot were technically coworkers #i feel like miles would tell aaron abt the whole bagel thing and then it comes back like #iunno i have thoughts and dialogue hard but this au would be really funny in some ways but also lead to some conversations tm in other ways #comic

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creatrixanimi · 3 months

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Well I couldn’t resist. I did submas in a hazbin au. It’s not MY fault the unova legendaries are perfect for character design stuff for an au like this. Plus the colors.

#submas #subway master emmet #subway master ingo #submas hazbin hotel au #hazbin hotel #kinda #pokemon #art #I really liked hazbin and I had this idea and thought it was funny #I love stuff where heaven is like terminally incompetent it’s so funny to me so here this au is I guess

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faerygardens · 11 months

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I’m still thinking abt Baghera’s reaction to Charlie, like he logs on and she’s just like “who the fuck is that”, then he talks to her for two minutes and she’s immediately onboard with all of his bullshit, he was like “I kissed cellbit once” and before he even said anything else she goes “you should object to the wedding” and the best part about it was she seemed to fully believe it was a good idea right up until the moment he actually did it, it was so funny I need them to interact more actually

#fae.txt #mcyt #qsmp #I wasn’t watching bagheras pov tho so idk if she did fully believe it would be a good idea or if she just thought it would be funny if he #went through with it #either way it was a really funny interaction and i need more of them

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lemm-moxx · 1 month

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"GO DOWN THE PUB, GET A PINT, SCRAN SOME HUMAN-JUST A BIT OF BANTER, BLOODY MINGING THEY ARE. GO DOWN BINLEY MEGA CHIPPY. HAVE SOME FISH AND CHIPS (FROM THE CHIPPY) GET A PINT ( STELLA OF COURSE YA BLOODY GIT), WATCH THE FOOTIE!!! WHHHHHHHHHEEEEEYYYYYY!!!!!"

sorry what

#seriously who wrote that #if anyone needs a translation i will do so #can anyone tell i thought the idea of brexit geezer horror was funny #jk ik i hid it really well #horror sans #horrortale #utmv #my art #im sorry #undertale au #please don't like this

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yakuza-emulation · 6 months

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Shoutout to this one YouTube comment for being the funniest motherfucker I’ve seen. For it being so funny (to me at least), I wanted to draw it lol

Under the cut is the original comment (with some more context lol)

This was posted under a Gacha video featuring the Glam-Mike theory prevalently. I don’t think OP even gave any evidence (aside from maybe Freddy’s classic: “I am not me.” line.)