#I think he is one of those trans guys who just worked out until everything just looked evened out instead of getting top surgery

[hospitalyuris]

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#alhaitham #big naturals alhaitham truth er #I think he is one of those trans guys who just worked out until everything just looked evened out instead of getting top surgery #kavetham

[badchoicesworld]

Hi i was wondering if you could do a male s/o that gets super insecure and uncomfortable when people look at his top surgery scars and he hates it when people miss gender him and Miles Morales Miles 42 Hobie Pavitr Prabhakar and Spider-Noir are there to defend or shut the people that miss gender him or glare at them to the point where the other person gets uncomfortable and stop looking at the male reader I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense i just type really fast and don't re-read it at some points

Anyways I absolutely love your writing work I really enjoy it and everything, have a lovely day or night ❤️💕

hobie, 1610!miles, 42!miles, pavitr and noir defending their transmasc partners

ok this took me a while i admit but i hope you enjoy !

established, separate relationships

warnings: i’m sleepy

pairing: hobie brown x transmasc!reader, earth-1610 miles morales x transmasc!reader, earth-42 miles morales x trans!mascreader, pavitr prabhakar x transmasc!reader, spider-noir x transmasc!reader

requests: check out the blog-guide for info !

he’s rapidly approaching

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

punk personified

you two were getting ready for a sick concert you’ve been looking forward to for a small while now, moral is high and all’s good

ofc it’s punk, and hobie will be damned if you don’t dress the part with him

he started diying you guys outfits for this specific concert a few weeks beforehand, and he’s super proud of them ! very happy to show you and he hopes you like them

you like them . because i said so

however, it did include a shirt that looks like it had been torn up in every way possible

depending on what ur comfortable with, it can either be a crop top that rides up just a little too much when you jump about and stretch OR it’s one of those tank tops where the sides of your torso simply aren’t covered, very low cut sides

so yeah, your top surgery scars are in the breeze

intentional ? who knows, this is hobie we’re talking about

maybe hobie’s tryna get you to step out of your comfort zone and feel more comfortable in ur skin in an environment where he knows you won’t be judged

perhaps he simply did not take this into consideration because he doesn’t even think twice about ur scars

regardless, they’re out, you both look sick, im forever furious that we were deprived of tank top hobie in low riders PLEASE (he exists in my dreams)

the concert isn’t the problem- don’t call urself punk if ur a bigot we all know this

it’s the walk there that really sucked

you and hobie got some intense stares from people as you walked hand in hand to this thing

naturally, hobie ate that shit up, kept his head high the whole time and doesn’t bat an eye at this people

you’re not as confident, unfortunately . catching people looking at your scars makes you feel all sorts of insecure, which is valid man

hobie also gets this, and god knows he looks for every excuse to antagonise those closed minded people so he’s very content to start a fight

cant care less when it comes to people judging him, he knows who he is and he’s proud asf, not gonna waste his breath on that

but when hobie sees his boyfriend curling in on himself because of strangers in the street that aren’t shit, that’s when he can be bothered to pay some mind to them

it’s subtle, for your sake . doesn’t wanna draw any more attention and risk getting caught up in this when you’ve both been looking forward to this concert for so long

so instead of outright starting a fight, he uses that scary privilege he knows he has and just stared them down in such a disrespectful way

the way that you’re both dressed too, i’m sure that it works

doesn’t relent either, will stare until the other people stop staring

ideally ? he wants to make them walk away and stop bothering you, but he’s alright with exchanging a scowl for the person to look away instead, preferably in shame

when they’re taken care of, that’s that . he wants you two to forget about that and have fun at this gig, sound good ? he wants to see you genuinely enjoying yourself in your own skin, surrounded by the people that make him feel more like himself too

besides, scars are nothing to be ashamed of or to hide

the walk home is a lot more peaceful

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

i’m sorry u were ever hurt

you two are off to the water park (using the american word, sorry fellow brits :() together, enjoy ur youth

imagine how cool you two are rolling up in ur swimming trunks

i wholeheartedly believe that miles is an absolute sap and would wanna match- i die on the hill that he’s a born to “hi ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ” forced to “wsg”

anyway, go have fun at the baths

that’s what miles expects anyway, fun with no strings attached, as most would

but that’s not how the world works, unfortunately

some people live to be hateful and have sad, empty, boring, gloomy, pathetic, waste of space lives, and you have to go through the misfortune of enduring some really vicious stares . all because you’re a guy with a few scars on his chest

people talk, you might overhear some stuff about ur character that makes you really insecure and upset

takes miles a little minute to clock the way you’re trying to fold your arms to hide your scars, but he catches on pretty quickly that it’s because of the people around you

is immediately by your side and looking concerned as hell

initially assumed that you might be in some pain, maybe the chlorine is fucking w ur scar tissue

sympathetic and checking in on you in the gentlest way when he notices that sadness

“w-hey, what’s happenin? you good?” standing really close and tilting his head to make eye contact with you if you’re looking down or away, hands are grazing your elbows to hold you

miles cares, a lot

speak ur mind man, tell him what’s going on

looks over your shoulder and at the people making you feel uncomfortable with that determined look

ushers you away, doesn’t want you around those kind people . bad vibes, he doesn’t fuck w it

probably goes snitch to staff lmao

and that’s how much he cares, he’d get stitches for u (ﾉд`)

but miles isn’t about to let the day be ruined by transphobes- god forbid

so he’s gonna try hard to make you forget about that interaction, it’s like a switch when he suddenly becomes all energetic again and is basically dragging you back towards the water

wants to hear you start laughing real fast

if miles venom striked the pool would everyone fucking die ?

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

cat

GYM BABY

PE class gotta suck with all those bitchy teens being closed minded for no good reason and thinking it’s funny to openly judge and mock the things they don’t understand

miles is very mature and knows that bullying just isn’t cool, downright stupid and bullies should honestly be embarrassed to show their face

but because the changing rooms are so small, he can’t even attempt to ignore the comments he’s hearing, all directed at his boyfriend who’s just trying to change for class

you’re minding your own business, why can’t they mind theirs ?

is another person that doesn’t wanna give you a worse time by antagonising those freaks and picking a fight, will instead just stare over his shoulder

works, miles 42 has a mean side eye, straight up vicious

he knows that won’t resolve the issue, people are so resilient w their hate and

gets insanely irritated if someone suggests you changing somewhere else . honestly would just prefer for there to be some tension in the locker room instead of isolating you away while you changed, couldn’t stand that idea because it’s flat out not fair . on top of a number of other things

can ignore the tension, doesn’t know about you

talks to you about not backing down, you have every right ro be in there and you shouldn’t feel in any way negatively about it

don’t give those closed minded people the satisfaction of making you feel bad about yourself and accommodating to them

makes an excellent point one day

“why are you watchin’ my boyfriend change..?” says it so slowly and it got real awkward after that

won’t tell a teacher unless you want to, then he’ll be moral support and be waiting for you outside the office

anyway, man’s got a killer deadeye to keep people in line and tries to not antagonise people too much

just get changed, that’s what you’re there to do people

stop being weird abt it

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

please don’t die

i’m a huge fan of those people that see a trans flag and immediately try to pull a “you’ll never be a real woman >:C” to a trans man

like yeah, thanks man, really appreciate it

it’s happened to you once or twice in the street, you or pav have some kind of pin or smthn and you’re literally just approached by strangers who have nothing better to do with their day

the most meaningful thing abt it is talking to you two honestly, ur just that cool

i can see him reading people just to point out their insecurities because violence isn’t the answer

it’s a last resort, but imagine you two simply minding your own business and this blank slate of a person decides to make a comment on your masculinity

“it’s okay sweetie, they’re just trying to overcompensate for their lack of a personality ! (๑˃́ꇴ˂̀๑)” huh 👁️👁️

pays literally no mind to them, pretends nothing happens and keeps walking with you

it’s like an invisible force field, bounces right off of him and somehow hurts the other person more

walking embodiment of that “i am rubber you are glue, what bounces off of me stick to you” and he probably recites that, too

but yeah, so insanely unbothered that i would maybe check up on him from time to time ? how is he always so chipper ? is bro good ?

but it’s infectious, so you can’t let it get to you either, it’s hard to feel sad around pav

he will somehow coincidentally always find something to immediately take ur mind off if it

after a shitty interaction with someone talking about pronouns and how theirs are an inanimate object, he miraculously spots a food stand you guys haven’t tried yet

does that Σ(ﾟロﾟ) face of his while gasping and drags you over, no questions asked

interrupts the person with the longest gasp, one would assume he hadn’t had a breath of fresh air ever

“look look! we have to try it!” pointing like that fuckin Soyjaks meme and ur gone, bigot is left in the dust

i’ve heard food is great therapy, and he believes so too

so scran down on some good street food while pavitr looks like a beam of sunshine despite just ruining a persons self esteem for the rest of their lie

it’s deserved though, so you can both sleep well

yknow what else slaps ? some chai, go home and have some w his aunty who thinks you’ve a very handsome young man

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

why the fuck is he so broad hang on

she/her a he/him and get shot, idk mans got a whole firearm for a reason

it’s takes him a little while to understand trans slander, but eventually it becomes like a fine art to him because i think he has a tendency to hyperfixate on things until he understands them in violent detail (autistic. he’s violently autistic coded. cant read a room, hyperfixated on his favourite colour, struggles to express himself through his tone.. yknow)

so if one day someone happens to catch sight of your scars and starts to talk shit in whatever 30’s slang from his dimension and modern slang from your own, he is so ready to give this speech on discrimination

theres a power point slide too but he doesn’t know how that works

gives up not even half way because he got frustrated and started cursing them out instead

“look, you seem like lovely people- no, no you don’t”

he has anger issues

there’s a lot of “and my boyfriend!” followed by a compliment, he managed to throw a few in there for good measure

says something about the colour purple at one point, i don’t know how that happened

please steer him away before someone gets shot over colour theory (surprised it hasn’t happened yet, ammarite fellow artists ? 😀 )

apologises for getting carried away, has to stop himself from talking about colours again he’s just such a peter and so unserious

“i’m sorry i- that must have been hard for you” clearly it was harder for u dear god

is likely the most insistent on doing anything and everything to make you feel better, is open to suggestions and is basically begging for them

while everyone else is low-key for ur own sake, this man’s about to buy you the world with his 4 dollars which is pretty impressive in his dimension

insists on doing your favourite things, is suggesting this and that, left right and centre

is convinced it’s the end of the world, this is reinforced since you seemed so upset and uncomfortable being misgendered by some people on the street

if you’re plenty happy to settle doing something, he’s thrilled and is giving it his 110% just for you

go watch a movie, careful not to point out the colours of noir will then realise that movies are no longer in black and white and starts asking you if everything is purple

“what a lovely purple :]” pan to like a whole pyramid

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

anyway, can you tell that hobie is easiest for me to write for and that i was running out of ideas ?

let me know how you feel about it !

if this flops i’m gonna have to go on a long stroll

#across the spiderverse #spider man: across the spider verse #headcanon #ask #imagine #oneshot #male reader #transgender reader #transmasc #transmasc!reader #trans reader #hobie brown x transmasc!reader #miles morales x transmasc!reader #earth 42 miles x transmasc!reader #pavitr x transmasc!reader #spider noir x transmasc!reader #hobie brown #atsv hobie #miles morales #atsv miles #atsv pavitr #pavitr prabhakar #earth 42 prowler #earth 42 miles morales #hobie spiderverse

[amadeusevenstar]

Oh! Please share as much as you want about Trans!Johnny omg!!

okay since you asked so nicely 👉👈

first of all, and i cannot stress this enough, this hc goes hand in hand with trans dutch for me, you cannot have one without the other. like their friendship reminds me so much of how it is to grow up as a young trans guy and finally finding someone that seems to know exactly what ur going through (even if maybe neither of you know why yet) also it’s just nice to think they at least had each other with all the shit they were going through. they met before highschool, with dutch having transferred schools enough times due to being expelled that no one remembers him pre-transition (except johnny ofc)

Johnny came out super young. he was one of those people who always knew, and openly expressed those feelings of being a boy to his mother, who had no idea how to deal with it at first, but came around pretty quickly. She got him more boyish clothes (not much just what they could afford) and she cut his hair herself. this all happened before she even met Sid, (mainly bc i cannot imagine a scenario in which sid would be okay with having a trans step son) and to this day he’s still none the wiser.

the first person johnny came out to (besides his mom and dutch ofc) was ali. they’d become really close friends, and knowing what an amazingly kind and accepting person she was, he felt safe telling her almost everything. they started dating shortly after.

then of course there’s his relationship with kreese and how being in cobra kai affected him. (cannot decide if it makes more sense for kreese to know about him being trans or not, but ultimately i don’t think it really matters.) Johnny’s never really had a good male figure to look up to until this point and so he soaks up every single thing kreese teaches them. real men know how to fight, how to defend themselves, how to protect those who can’t fight for themselves, that’s what a real man does. and most importantly he takes no shit. no fear, no mercy. dutch agrees.

of course, this is when things start to go downhill with ali, and when they break up johnny tells himself it’s because she just doesn’t get it. she doesn’t understand. she doesn’t have to fight to be who she is, she just gets granted that by right of existing. it’s different for him. he has to earn it.

which is exactly why daniel larusso pisses him off so much. larusso and his stupid infuriating soccer moves, and his quick wit, and his kind and beautiful smile, and charisma with everyone he meets. he’s scrawny and weak and he’s not masculine or macho at all, he doesn’t even try, he doesn’t put in a modicum of effort and yet ali seems to think daniel’s more of a man than johnny ever will be. and it’s not fair. johnny had to work to earn his place, so why doesn’t daniel? johnny had to hurt people, hurt himself, break bones, run to the point of complete exhaustion and then keep running more. he had to practice lowering his vocie, and learn how to stand the right way, to walk the right way, to put away childish things, and puff out his chest act like a real man. all this work with no end in sight, and daniel doesn’t have to do a god damn thing.

it’s not fair.

#(can u tell i’m projecting a lot here lmfao) #i feel like this is pretty similar to a lot of the other takes i’ve seen on it but yeah #cobra kai #karate kid #johnny lawrence #lawrusso #tagging lawrusso bc all my posts are about thag even if it’s not mentioned lol #the karate kid 1984 #tkk #trans johnny #ftm johnny lawrence

[disillusioneddanny]

Day 2 Siblings || Play

Damian had been away from his daughter for just a little under twenty four hours and he was anxious. He didn’t like being away from his daughter, not when she was still so small and tiny and defenseless. And he loved Danny more than anything, and he trusted Danny with his life, but what if something happened? Would the halfa be able to handle it on his own? He wasn’t totally sure he would! 

But this was important, he had to tell his family that he would be moving out of the manor or else questions would arise and Damian didn’t particularly want to deal with those questions if he was being totally honest. 

So, here he was, sitting amongst his father and siblings eating family dinner just as they did every Sunday evening upon Alfred’s request. Even Todd was here for the ordeal, it was the only time he would willingly come to the manor. 

“I am moving out tomorrow morning,” Damian said, breaking the comfortable silence that was their dinner. 

“I’m sorry, what?” Bruce asked, looking up from his newspaper to give his youngest son a look of surprise. “What happened to waiting until you completed college?”

“Things change, Father. I am moving out in the morning, my boyfriend will be coming by with my daughter to help me get everything moved,” he said, wiping his mouth with his napkin before he stood up. “Now, I must get back. I don’t like leaving them alone for long,” he said, pushing his chair in before he left his family sitting at the table dumbfounded. 

As soon as the door shut behind Damian his family exploded. 

“He has a boyfriend?” Tim hissed out, looking at his family in shock. “Since when?”

“Not only that but a daughter!?” Dick shrieked. “My baby has a daughter? When did this happen? Why didn’t he tell me he was a father?”

“Something’s gotta be wrong. Maybe that’s a clone of Damian, it’s not the first time Talia has replaced him,” Duke whispered.

“No, that was way too in character for Damian, definitely not a clone,” Jason said, frowning, his brows furrowed. 

“I can’t believe he didn’t tell me,” Dick whimpered, a single tear welled up in his eye as he thought about his baby bat having a daughter and a boyfriend. 

“He’s a private person, it makes sense we didn’t know,” Steph reasoned with Cass nodded her head in agreement beside her. “I wonder who the boy is! Or how long he’s been hiding the fact that he has a daughter! Wait– if he has a boyfriend how does that work?”

“Maybe the boyfriend is trans,” Tim said with a shrug, already pulling his tablet out of seemingly nowhere. “But that would mean that he’s been with this guy for at least nine months if they have a child together. Not only that but how old is the daughter? How long has he been hiding this secret double life from us? How long has he been in a relationship? Damian doesn’t seem like a one night stand kind of guy or to just knock someone up on accident. Dick, you’ve had the sex talk with him, right?”

“He’s twenty!” Jason exclaimed. “Of course he knows how sex works! Right?”

“Yeah, I gave him the talk when he started high school,” Dick mumbled, the tear now falling down his cheek. “Why didn’t he tell me he had a daughter? Or a boyfriend? I thought I was his favorite brother?”

“Um guys,” Duke called, now standing beside their father. “I think Bruce is broken,” he said. 

And sure enough, there Bruce sat, staring at the wall frozen, not even blinking, the newspaper he had been reading crumbled in his hands. 

“Well Gramps, aren’t you excited?” Jason teased, a shit eating grin on his face. 

“I’m an uncle!” Dick sobbed loudly, slamming his face into the table.

“Jesus Christ Richard get a hold of yourself,” Tim snapped, typing away on his tablet. “We need to figure out who this is and what they’ve done to our brother! What if he’s brainwashed and that’s why he’s suddenly moving out and has a boyfriend and daughter? What if it’s a rogue controlling him?”

“Or maybe he just hasn’t told you guys about a private part of his life?” Barbara said, frowning at the siblings all imploding. “It’s like Jason said, Damian is really private–”

“You knew!” Tim shouted, pointing an accusing finger at Barbara. “You knew this entire time.”

Barbara sighed and set her fork down and rubbed at her temples. “Yes, I know. I didn’t know about the daughter, that’s new. But Damian has been dating this guy for six months now, they knew each other for six months before that too. His boyfriend works in my library,” she said. “And no, I’m not telling you anything about him and if you show up at the library I’m calling the cops. Tim.”

“I got kicked out one time and now I have a life time ban,” Tim mumbled, crossing his arms as he fell back into his seat. 

“Let’s just take this at Damian’s pace. He’ll tell us about his family when he’s ready, besides it sounds like you guys will get the chance to meet them tomorrow morning when they come by to help Damian move out.”

It was a shame no one actually listened to Barbara’s idea because really it made the most sense. But these were the Wayne children she was talking to. They didn’t know sense if it was slapped in their face. 

Which is why Tim had gone looking and found a certain Danny Fenton who worked at the library as a writing tutor who also happened to work at his favorite coffee shop and had also worked in one of Damian’s art classes just a few semesters back. He had then been able to easily find Danny Fenton’s information at Gotham University and bingo presto chango he found Danny’s house! It seemed that the civilian rented an apartment in the nicer parts of the Bowery, which there weren’t really nicer parts but compared to Crime Alley it wasn’t terrible. 

And that was how the siblings found themselves standing under the window of Damian’s boyfriend’s apartment. 

“Are we really sure that this is a good idea?” Duke asked, staring up at the window. 

“He’s a civilian, what’s he going to do, kill us?” Tim said with a snort before he headed up the stairs to the apartment door. His siblings followed close behind and waited impatiently for the vigilante to pick the lock. They made their way into the apartment and stopped short when they saw the place and looked around. 

“That’s a lot of Damian’s art,” Jason said lowly. 

“Uh um, uh guys,” Duke said, swallowing slightly. “Do-do you guys see the shadows or is that just my powers messing with me?”

“What shadows?” Dick asked when the living room suddenly got much, much darker, and shadows slithered closer to the siblings. 

“What are you doing in my home?” A voice hissed out, the words drawn out and staticky. The siblings immediately put their hands over their ears at the noise. Jason opened an eye and let out a gasp at the monster before them. A being floated in front of them, hair white as snow, long fangs escaped from under his lips, green fluid reminiscent of Lazarus Water dripped from its maw, large claws protruded from its fingertips. It was the thing of nightmares. 

“I said what were you doing in my home?” He snarled out once more just as Damian came out of the bedroom sleepily.

“Danny, stop, it’s my idiot siblings,” Damian said with a yawn as he flipped on the light. Suddenly the monster shifted and a human man stood in front of them looking annoyed beyond belief. 

Dick didn’t know where to look, at the human that he was pretty sure was actually a monster that was going to eat them, or at Damian who was holding a sleeping baby to his chest. 

“It’s four in the morning, who breaks into an apartment at four in the morning?” Danny hissed, glaring at the group of Wayne Siblings. 

Damian just let out a sigh. “It is just how our family operates, unfortunately,” he murmured and pressed a kiss to Danny’s lips. “Take Cecilia to bed, please.”

Danny nodded and took the baby from his boyfriend and trudged back to their room. They hadn’t bought the stuff for Cecilia to safely sleep in her own room alone so right now she was sleeping in a bassinet in Danny’s room until they got everything they needed for the baby. 

Damian waited until his boyfriend and daughter were gone before he crossed his arms and looked at his siblings. “You could not wait until we came over in the morning to meet her and Danny? You had to break into his home?”

“We were worried,” Dick mumbled, looking chastened already. “You’ve never told us about a boyfriend.”

“Because this family does not know any boundaries! I didn’t want Danny to be stuck dealing with you insane people!” He hissed out, glaring at his siblings. “Have you ever thought about that? That you all are just a little too overbearing and don’t know what it means to give people space? You knew that I was coming tomorrow and yet you still broke into my boyfriend’s home in the middle of the night and scared him enough that he felt the need to use his powers to fight you. Of course, I didn’t tell you about my boyfriend!”

“I’m sorry you felt that way,” Tim said softly. “We didn’t mean to upset you, we were just worried. You seemed very out of character during dinner and we were concerned.”

“I don’t care. You scared my boyfriend and you woke up my daughter. Now leave,” he ordered, pointing at the door. “You can meet Danny and Cecilia in the morning when we go to the manor to collect my things. Until then, get out of here,” he snarled. He watched as one by one the siblings made their way out of his apartment, each one looking thoroughly chastened by the time they walked out of his apartment and left. 

Damian let out a sigh and went back to his room, knowing that tomorrow his siblings were going to have far too many questions. He didn’t blame Danny for turning into his ghost form to scare off intruders but damn would his family want answers. 

He shut the door to the bedroom and climbed into bed beside his boyfriend after looking over Cecilia and finding her fast asleep. 

“Your siblings don’t understand boundaries, do they?” Danny mumbled, pulling Damina closer to him. The human chuckled and maneuvered them around until Danny’s head was resting on his bicep and he was holding the half-ghost close to his chest.

“No, they do not. But they have been chastised and I hope that this means they will understand in the future that they cannot just barge into our home whenever they want answers,” he said with a huff. Danny just chuckled and pressed a kiss to Damian’s cheek. 

“They’re lucky I didn’t send them to the nightmare realm,” Danny murmured. “Having CeCe has turned me into an overprotective monster.”

Damian stilled. “What did you just call my daughter?” he demanded venomously. Danny let out a snicker and shook his head. 

“Cecilia is just such a big name for such a little girl. I thought CeCe would be a cute little nickname!” Danny insisted. 

“You are not going to give my daughter a name as undignified as CeCe, her name is Cecilia,” Damian said, scowling at the halfa. 

“How about Lia?” Danny asked, tilting his head back to look at Damian better. 

“Why not the name we gave her, Cecilia?” Damian retorted. 

“Pick one, do you want me to call her CeCe or Lia,” Danny said simply. Damian let out a sad sigh, burying his face in Danny’s hair. 

“Lia, at least it sounds like a real name,” he mumbled, running his fingers through Danny’s hair once more. Danny snickered and kicked his leg over Damian’s waist and held him close. 

“I apologize for their behavior,” Damian murmured, holding Danny close. Danny simply laughed and kissed Damian softly. 

“Don’t be, you’ve warned me many times now that your siblings have no sense of boundaries. I just wasn’t expecting a bunch of vigilantes to break into my apartment at four in the morning. Now can we get back to sleep?”

Damian chuckled quietly but stayed quiet as his boyfriend fell fast asleep in his arms once more. 

Damian sighed as Danny opened a portal for the couple and their daughter to step directly into Damian’s bedroom. From there Danny set Cecilia down on Damian’s bed for her to lay on as they started carrying things through the portal and directly into Danny and his bedroom. 

“This is much easier than I ever imagined it would be,” Damian said as Danny carried a stack of clothes from the room to the apartment. 

“I know,” Danny said with a grin. “Don’t you love having a ghost for a boyfriend? One who can make portals?”

“I just love having you for a boyfriend,” Damian said softly, pulling Danny close to him and giving him a soft kiss. 

“I love you,” Danny said in response, kissing Damian once again just as a knock sounded on the bedroom door and the portal snapped shut.  “Reflex, sorry. I’ll reopen it,” he said with a chuckle. 

Damian laughed and pulled away from his boyfriend to answer the door to find Dick standing there, hand raised to knock once again. 

“Yes?” He asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity. 

“We didn’t hear you come in,” he said hesitantly, looking between Danny and Damian. 

“Oh, well we have been here for quite some time now. I have most of my things already moved over,” he said, leaning against the door jamb. 

“I wanted to apologize, we all do. But they kinda just sent me first,” Dick said, giving his baby brother an awkward smile. 

“It’s fine, I just wish that you all would respect my boundaries from here on out,” Damian said quietly. “Danny and I are hoping to give Cecilia a better childhood than the ones either of us had. That means teaching her what boundaries are, even as a baby, she deserves to have boundaries, and as our parents it is up to us to ensure her boundaries are respected.”

“That’s amazing of you, Dami. I’m glad you’re realizing this for yourself. And I’m sorry we did not respect your boundaries the way you wanted us to. We’ll do better in the future.” 

Damian smiled. “Grab the others, you all can come in and meet Danny and Cecilia, I’m sure you all have questions, especially after Danny’s display of powers last night.”

Dick gave him a small smile, looking relieved that Damian had forgiven him so easily. He turned and called out for their siblings before he stepped into the room and walked toward Danny. He held out his hand. 

“I’m Damian’s oldest brother, Dick. I apologize for our behavior last night. We’ll do our best to be better in the future.”

Danny smiled. “I’m Danny Fenton, it’s nice to meet you. Dami has told me a lot about you,” he said politely.

“All good things, I hope,” he said anxiously. He looked over at Cecilia and looked back at Danny. “I have a lot of questions,” he admitted. 

“We’re going to answer them once all your siblings make their way inside. It’ll be easier to explain once than multiple times.”

Dick nodded and soon the rest of their siblings piled into the room. 

“Where is Father and Alfred?” Damian asked, looking around curiously. 

“Bruce had a meeting this morning, Alfred had to drive him to it,” Tim explained before he introduced himself to his brother’s boyfriend. 

“It’s nice to meet all of you,” Danny said with a small smile. “Under much better circumstances this time. I apologize for my behavior last night, I didn’t mean to scare any of you.”

“Could uh could you explain what happened by any chance? Maybe start from the beginning?” Duke asked, looking between Danny and Cecilia, an uneasiness in his eyes. 

Danny grinned and picked Cecilia up and handed her to Jason who had taken a seat on the bed beside her. “Here, hold your niece,” he said softly, helping position Jason’s hands around her. He glanced over at his boyfriend with a crinkled nose. 

“I see what you mean my star, your family has experienced a lot of death. Is there even anyone in here who hasn’t died at least once?” He asked, glancing over at them only for Duke to raise his hand.

“I haven’t,” he said, blushing slightly. 

Danny just snickered and took a seat. “Dami and I met in college. But I doubt that’s the story you’re wanting,” he said with a small smile. “I died when I was fourteen but I died wrong and turned into a half ghost, half human,” he said before his form changed to something similar to the one they had all seen the night before only less terrifying. “Turns out even after being a retired vigilante, I still managed to get mixed up with you guys.”

“You’re that teen hero from Amity Park!” Tim exclaimed. “I’ve heard about you, Phantom, right?”

“Just Danny now, I retired,” he said with a small smile. “Things quieted down in Amity after the ghosts got a council of leaders to keep them in line. Didn’t need me to stop them from destroying my hometown. Now I just want to live a mostly normal life. Which Damian’s mother doesn’t want to happen, I guess,” he said with a laugh. 

“Wait–Talia?” Jason asked, looking up from where he had been looking at Cecilia. Cass had moved to sit beside him and look down at her new niece, tickling her chin lightly. 

“Yes, Talia thought it would be a lovely idea to gift Danny and me with a baby to celebrate the fact that we are in a relationship,” Damian said with a sigh. “So she made a clone of the two of us and gifted her to me just a week ago. Danny and I are slowly trying to figure out how to be parents and raise her. It has been a learning process for the both of us.”

“Sounds like a Talia thing to do,” Dick said with a snort. Duke chuckled and sat beside Jason on his other side to also coo over the baby. 

“Well, there is the story. It is rather condensed but that is the entire explanation. Now, while you three watch over my daughter, will the rest of you help us move everything else over?” He asked as Danny opened another portal and started to grab Damian’s easels from where they sat in a corner. 

Tim looked between the portal and the rest of the stuff in the room and nodded. “Got it.”

“If any of you make my sweet little Lia cry, I’ll destroy you,” Danny threatened before he walked through the portal. 

“Well, you picked the perfect partner, Damian,” Jason said with a snort. “He’s just as feral as you are.”

Damian just sneered at his brother before he looked at where his boyfriend walked through the portal. “Yes, I love that little buffoon,” he said with a soft sigh before he started to gather more of his things to carry through, Dick and Tim following behind him to do the same. 

@dpxdc-familyweek

Part 1

Part 3

#dpxdcfamilyweek #dpxdc #dpxdc event #dead serious ship

[riverthebooknerd]

LINKED UNIVERSE HEADCANONS BECAUSE FUCK YOU

(mostly wild, time, twilight, sky, and wind centric cuz those are the main games i've played)

they're all trans

people think that time is the dad of the group but nah. it's twilight

four uses "we/us" pronouns (they/them but actually plural)

wild will either cook the most delicious fucking food you've ever seen in your goddamn life or a pile of rocks (canon)

wind can see ghosts. they all know this. however, sometimes he'll say that there's a spooky ghost when there's not just to freak them out (wild knows. he doesn't say shit bc it's funny)

sky can cook one (1) dish and it's pumpkin soup (he learned after he had to work at the lumpy pumpkin to repay them for breaking shit) (everything else he makes is inedible)

most of them are nonverbal (bc autism and also ptsd)

you'd think that time knows sign language but NO because he grew up in a forest around fairies who don't have? visible hands?? i think?? (he learns sign from wild)

also i've seen people say that time Doesn't Cuss which is simply Not True. let him say fuck. he deserves to say fuck.

the only one of them who doesn't cuss is probably sky. but there are exceptions

actually no i take it back. that fucker says fuck too

All Of Them Should Say Swear Words

please they're so tired just let them say fuck

the ones who have a hookshot are ecstatic to tell the ones without a hookshot about the joys of using it (ex: sky showing it off to wild, who has stars in his eyes, talking about how it'd make climbing in the rain so much easier)

speaking of sky and wild- the realize that there's a merchant named beetle in both of their eras. weird as shit. sky is like "wtf" but wild kinda just nods and goes "yeah okay why not sounds about right tbh"

nightmares

nightmares

have i mentioned nightmares? because they all have nightmares

also nearly all of them have had Queer Encounters and they vent about it!!

sky talking about how ghiriham was UNFAIRLY hot

twilight still sad over midna :( (they're gay btw don't question it they just are)

(wind is an exception bc. he's a fuckin child)

wild lowkey bein like "yeah tbh.... ganondorf before he was mummified?"

time has a wife. time loves his wife

wasn't there that one ship with hyrule/ravio?? haven't played that game so idk but they seem gay (edit: oop it was legend/ravio not hyrule/ravio lololol)

fuck what was this post about again?

they all sleep with a weapon under their pillow (or with no pillow!! just weapon! :] )

some of them (sky) are very heavy sleepers while others (time) are very light sleepers

it's a nice balance because twilight and wild will wake up at the ass crack of dawn and then wind won't wake up until noon. they make a schedule

people also portray them as being So Fucking Awkward but i disagree. have you PLAYED a zelda game? these fuckers will waltz into town, fix every single person's problems, and become the new village icon in the span of two hours. they're so fucking friendly omfg

like these fuckers have fought MONSTERS they've fought DRAGONS and CORPSES and the KING OF EVIL they ain't afraid of a little human interaction (except when they are)

hylia will throw them in a room together and they'll all be like "hi!! :] am link i go hyah" "omg no way me too!! :0 look at my shiny sword and my bag of bombs" "sick"

sky would be like so fucking guilty like "im sorry i failed and got cursed by a demon king guys :(((" and everyone else would be like "oh nah don't even worry about it lmao happens to all of us"

maybe i'll make a pt 2 once i finish my homework who knows

#linked universe #legend of zelda #loz #link #every single link #all links #link loz

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

We have an update on the Hell's Belles crossover/au thingy people!! Have a Virgil (also my art style went???)

@awitchbravestheverge (I wasn't sure which account you want me to tag lol please yell at me) @twoalpacas hello, two people who expressed interest in this. (Idk if you guys wanted to be tagged in everything I post about this or just bigger posts like this one /any fic I end up writing?)

Anyway so my brain finally stopped screaming long enough (and with help from my friend lol) for me to actually think out at least one of the sides, so:

Virgil:

He's a transmasc non-binary dude who uses he/they pronouns, is pretty GNC and works at the Hellp Desk alongside the Hell's Belles characters we already know!

Some backstory below the cut, not explained in detail but some TWs just in case: death (obviously), homophobia/transphobia, toxic relationships, also this is all subject to change as the au develops, this is just what I have so far :)

Virgil didn't have the best life growing up, his anxiety, undiagnosed autism and being gay and trans - though he didn't know about the last one until his teens - lead to him facing a lot of issues in the mortal world, his parents had pretty conservative, homophobic and transphobic views and because of it kicked him out when he was outed as trans at 16.

From there, he ended up staying with a toxic (though he didn't realise it at the time) friend, who later on became his romantic partner. He died only a year later at 17 in a car accident because of the same toxic partner.

When he first arrived to the afterlife, he didn't know what to do with himself, they told him he had a paradise, but all of the problematic people in his life had him so convinced that there must have been a mistake that he wasn't able to accept it straight away, instead finding himself lost in the universal hallway, so went down to hell instead in order to find answers. He met Judy first at the Hellp Desk and ended up being adopted into the Work Family pretty quickly.

In the afterlife he ages to roughly 24 but stops at that point. He has dyed hair that he changes the colour of frequently enough to be confusing.

---

I'm not quite sure why yet but it's very important in my brain that he meets Judy first, lol.

If anyone has any questions/thoughts about this AU so far I will gladly answer them/engage in conversation I'm excited about this.

I'm still thinking the other guys through a little so we'll have to wait for those!

#sanders sides #art #hells belles #virgil sanders #hells belles au #sanders sides art #digital aritst #ts virgil #ss virgil #sanders sides virgil #rowan arts

[fire-fira]

20 Questions for Writers

I was tagged by @linzerj for this, so without further ado:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

On Ao3 I currently have 70 (though that number is going to increase soon), and on ffn (all my oldest stuff) I have 34. (Dear lord I need to eventually move my older stuff to Ao3. Maybe under a secondary pseud at some point... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

201,448

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Looooots of DC stuff, some TMNT, and with my older stuff I also wrote for Sonic, DBZ, Legend of Zelda, FMA, Gargoyles, Peter Pan, and Megaman. (I also have some early-stages fic and plans for Planet of the Apes fics, but I haven't posted any of that yet.)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Head Trauma - One of my earliest Bluepulse OT3 fics. YJA-based; Jaime gets knocked out on a mission and the team gets their first exposure to Khaji Da directly.

Loving an Alien Shouldn't be this Complex - Another Bluepulse OT3. YJA-based; Bart's part in what's intended to be a trilogy of fics about the same circumstances/events. Crushing on Jaime is one thing, but realizing he's crushing on Khaji Da is a whole different ballpark.

If You Think My Truth Is A Lie, You Can Get Bent - Bluepulse OT3 yet again, though background in this case rather than front and center. Mostly YJA-based; Bart is trans, in college, and entirely fed up with an obnoxious classmate who was perfectly fine with him and the fact that he's a guy up until she found out he's trans.

The Weirdness That You Know - Pre-Bluepulse OT3, pre-finding-out-Khaji-Da's-name. YJA-based; During some downtime on base after the events of season 2, Jaime winds up finding out that Bart and Khaji Da are very similar in terms of their sense of humor. The two of them getting along should probably be concerning.

Familia: Not Simple, but Needed - Bluepulse OT3. Mostly YJA-based; What happens when you have a sleep-deprived scarab who stubbornly has stayed awake for about three weeks? Nothing good and nothing the three of them would have ever expected if Khaji Da was coherent enough to think through the consequences of their actions before doing something.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to. Sometimes I wind up replying waaaaaayyyyyy later (when my emotional energy tanks it takes a lot for me to drag myself into talking to people in general, but I try to reply when I'm in a better spot), but if I have my way then I'll eventually reply to everything (unless there's literally nothing else to say).

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

That would honestly have to be either my Bluepulse OT3 poem I Am Your Loss or my La'gaan-centric fic I Tried To Warn You. I Am Your Loss is focused on Khaji Da outliving Jaime and Bart and all the feelings involved with that, and I Tried To Warn You is an examination of La'gaan's emotionally abusive relationship with M'gann and him coming to terms with the fact that he was manipulated and abused. So yeah. Heavy.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

That's a tough one. The Name That Calls You Home is one contender, along with Fatherhood Isn't Easy, and Trusting Again Can Be The Hardest Thing. Two of those are focused on family and finding home (TNTCYH and FIE), and two are La'gaan-centric (FIE and TACBTHT). So yay for one of my TMNT AUs and two of my La'gaan fics meeting the mark? (Though all three have some painful circumstances that make the good that much more pronounced. Yeah, that was unintentional.)

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

The only time I've ever gotten any 'hate' was someone trying to be pissy about an old poem series I wrote back in highschool because they didn't feel it was a 'serious poetic work' and was 'amateurish'.

That. On character-based poetry. For freaking Sonic characters. Seriously just-

9. Do you write smut?

Almost never. (I can't say never because I did publish one fic on Ao3, but by a lot of people's standards it's really tame.)

10. Do you write crossovers?

I'm not opposed to crossovers, but I very rarely do. Usually I find my mind playing with multiverse iterations of characters meeting each other, but it's very rare my mind goes to wildly different stories getting a crossover-- in no small part because it usually tends to devolve into a case of 'Wouldn't it be cool if these characters met? Look how cool this character is!' in my head with no real decent plot. (That said, thanks to some old RPs with a friend of mine I am fond of Mass Effect's femshep and Voltron's Allura as a ship. It was a chaotic RP. lol)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

As far as I know, NOPE. If I'm fortunate it'll never happen.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes actually! Both I Tried To Warn You and Unstoppable Until I Break that I know of. (Unfortunately I can't read Chinese, so finding them on the site they're hosted on is difficult for me, but I do know they're there somewhere.) La'gaan keeps winning. lol

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Only one, and it's Devilfish. Beneath the Surface was a fun collaboration between me and onyxdragonx back before tumblr's purge in 2018. I have no idea if he left tumblr entirely, but I'm glad we wrote it.

14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

Ngl, it varies by series/franchise and how I'm feeling. I used to be pretty solid in single ships for characters for a long time, but as time has gone by I've drifted more into multi-shipper territory. At the moment though, the one that's eating at my brain the most is Devilfish-- La'gaan/Eddie-- because hell yes for my crack ship.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Maybe it's over-optimistic of me, but I don't look at any of my WIPs as 'abandoned' or as something I'll 'never' complete. Back when I was posting my writing only to ffn I used to joke about my trademarked 'delays of doom'. It's always a case of I will get to said stories eventually and I do work on old things from time to time, but due to shifting interests/life junk/life-junk-that-causes-a-low-creative-battery/etc. it can take me a long time to get back to something.

If I was going to narrow it down to the one that I'm not sure when precisely I'll get back to and is the most likely to take me a while to get back to (more than anything else), then it'd probably have to be an Elfquest fic with Leeta/Cutter/Rayek as endgame. Either that or the Planet of the Apes series kicking around in my head that I haven't quite figured out how to frame yet.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

FEELINGS. Emotions, getting into characters' heads and hitting that emotional gut-punch that makes people feel things.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Aside from my delays-of-doom™️, I can get SO damned wordy. And cerebral. Which isn't always a bad thing if I want my readers to know what's going on in a character's head, but it's a royal pain in the ass if I want to give a decent description of the space characters are in or have actual conversation and events happening while a character is getting lost in their head.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

YES. I WANT. GIVE.

lol Seriously though, while it might be rare for me to write full-blown conversations in a different language, if a character is multilingual then I personally prefer including indications of that with their word choices. Usually that results in an offhand word or several here or there in places where it flows naturally, but unless I'm confident in how things flow with that other language (whatever it is) then I'm unlikely to go for a full on conversation. If I am confident in the translation of what I'm writing and the switch into that other language makes sense for the characters in context then it's highly likely I'll go for it-- albeit with including the hover-over translation thing that Ao3 offers so readers don't have to bounce back-and-forth between where they're at in the story and the translation at the end of the chapter/fic. (Though I don't mind when other authors take that tactic.)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Sonic, and though I didn't put any online until 2003, I wrote a whole convoluted series back in middle school and on up into early high school I think (I suspect most of it's lost because it was all on an OLD computer), and even before that I remember a script-styled Sonic fic that I never finished that I was writing back when I was like... 5? ...7? Somewhere in there. Point is my first fandom is from a LONG time ago.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Yeeeeeet another hard one. If I don't cop out with Unstoppable Until I Break and I pull in my older stuff, then I guess it'd have to be Two Sides. It's a Legend of Zelda fic playing with the concept of Zelda and Sheik as simultaneously being and not being the same person, and while I'd probably write it differently now (dear gods I published it back in 2008) I still love the concept and think it's intriguing as hell. Just the very idea of Zelda and Sheik having once been the same person and remembering it in subsequent lives is just... There is a TON of potential there.

Will I ever revisit the idea? Maybe one day. For now, it is what it is.

As for who I'm tagging: @sounddrive, @brightlotusmoon, @radioactive-earthshine, and whoever else would like to do this. n.n

#my fiction #my life #ask game

[mittensmorgul]

so the tnt loop is looping around toward the end of s8, and it hit me again: I don’t think that Metatron sheltered HIMSELF so completely that he’d never even heard of the Winchesters. I think Chuck... bubble-ized him. I mean... this is a guy whose spent millennia collecting humanity’s stories for himself. I’m literally watching the scene where he explains it:

DEAN: So you have been holed up here, or, or, or in a wigwam, or before that in some cave, listening to stories, reading books?

METATRON: (grinning) And it was something to watch. What you brought to His Earth, all the mayhem, the murder. Just the raw, wild invention of God's naked apes... it was mind-blowing. But really... really, it was your storytelling. That is the true flower of free will. At least as you've mastered it so far. When you create stories, you become gods, of tiny, intricate dimensions unto themselves. So many worlds! I have read... as much as it's possible for an angel to read, and I haven't caught up.

Sam especially judges him HARD for this, for burying himself in narratives while “his kind” caused so much havoc on Earth. Metatron apparently hadn’t even heard of Kevin Tran, who Dean holds up as one of the Real People who have been harmed, and whose stories are what Metatron should be caring about. And that name also apparently doesn’t ping anything for Metatron. I thought all angels were supposed to have the prophets names etched into their brains or something (per Cas from 5.19, but also the fact only the current generation is there, the NEXT generation won’t be added until they are born, also per Cas from 8.07).

So... this makes me want to believe that Chuck... flipped a couple of switches in Metatron when he left Heaven. Like, oh, you’re gonna leave your post? Okay then, I’m gonna cut you out of the loop then. Or maybe Metatron even did it to himself, deliberately NOT wanting to know the Heaven situation... but I have a harder time reconciling that. I mean, he was HIDING, and on the RUN from Heaven, attempting to avoid imprisonment and torture for the information he knew about the tablets. I don’t think he’d want to be cut off from angel radio so entirely that he missed a decade of chatter about the Winchesters, the Apocalypse, and especially the fact that a supposed Prophet of the Lord was novelizing all of it. I mean... you’d think if he’d known, the same way Cas casually did in 4.18 like every angel knew all of this and it was entirely obvious information, that Metatron would’ve dropped everything else and read those books at the very least. But apparently not...

That seems like information that an angel attempting to hide himself on Earth to avoid angels for his own safety would’ve picked up on. You know. For his own safety.

Angels are all over the earth? End times? Catastrophic events left and right? Demons everywhere? And he was just... unaware of all of it? Assumed Michael and Lucifer were even still relevant playing pieces on the board and not both locked back in the cage after the apocalypse failed. Like.... HOW did he miss this even if he didn’t pick it up directly from angel radio? It really does feel like Chuck deliberately kept him shielded from all of this. Like Chuck MADE HIM into the weird lil guy he became.

Which leads me to point 2. We never knew what the results of the Hell Trials really would have been. Metatron said the Angel Fall Event wasn’t trials, but a spell. But it was built in the same way the Hell Trials were.

Sam went into the Hell Trials borderline delusionally hopeful that he could SURVIVE them. That was his goal on setting out (and why Dean worked so hard to save him when they learned Metatron had lied to them). And he KNEW what the description of the inevitable results of finishing the trials would be from the very first time Kevin ever told them about it: an eternity of being tortured, essentially. Sounds like something far worse than even the eternity in the Cage with Lucifer that Sam had signed himself up for in s5, yes? But WHY? Like, what would that eternal suffering accomplish?

And was that something Chuck wrote into the Hell tablet, or another addendum like the Angel Fall Spell added in by Metatron? We just don’t know. But I like to think Chuck knew full well that Metatron had added those unauthorized details for his own reasons, and that’s why Chuck helped him hide out, waiting for the time that he could bring Metatron out for his own narrative purposes. Just to see what would happen.

So yes, Sam and Dean decided for themselves in s8 to pull the Hell Trials. Their biggest act of hubris in all of canon, but it was like Chuck needed a plotline for s8 and started throwing tablets into their path, waiting for them to find the Scribe and drag him back into the story.

Anyway I’m about out of steam on this one. But there’s so many reasons metatron is my all time favorite spn villain. :’D

#spn 8.21 #i blame metadouche for everything including global warming and bee colony collapse #spn 4.18 #spn 5.19 #spn 8.07 #chuck's process #heaven hell purgatory and the empty

[trevorphilips-enthusiast]

can we get some uhhhh headcanons for telling trevor that you're transgender? it can be platonic or romantic, either way. i'm a trans man but if you wanna be less specific then that's fine <3

A/N: HELLO, thanks for the requests. I've done both platonic and romantic headcanons because why not :) I won't go on for too long but I hope this turned out all right!! ALSO D/N means dead name and then Y/N will be your name <3

TELLING TREVOR YOU'RE TRANSGENDER (FTM):

ROMANTIC:

FIRST OFF, THIS MAN WOULD BE SO SUPPORTIVE

LIKE

HE WOULD GO ABOVE AND BEYOND FOR YOU

You're one of the only ones who's stood by Trevor while being as loyal as anything

He really does love you

I think Trevor would be able to tell that somethings wrong because he's really attentive but won't mention it until you're ready to say something

Before you told him, it was clear you were nervous so he did everything in his power to make you feel comfortable

HERE COMES THE NIGHT WHEN YOU TELL HIM!

So you guys would just be sitting on his tiny ass sofa and watching TV in his trailer when you decided to tell him

"Uhm Trevor..."

"Yeah sweetheart? What's up"

"I have something I need to tell you and it's been playing on my mind for a while..."

Hearing this would make Trevor's heart race

I think he'd feel like you were going to leave him which he would not be able to handle because you

are

his

world

<3

"Deep breath... you can tell me anything, you know that D/N"

"Trevor... I'm transgender..."

Now this was the last thing he expected to hear from you

But he supported you and still loved you

"I'm glad you told me D/- ... have you got a name that you'd rather be called by?"

You smiled and a few tears fell as you spoke "Y/N.."

Trevor would wipe those tears away and reassure the fuck outta you

"No more tears pretty boy... unless I'm ruining you"

You just laughed hearing that and knowing Trevor supports you and still loves you

"I'll always love you Y/N"

Throughout the next coming weeks, Trevor may mess up and call you D/N

BUT BY ACCIDENT

He just isn't used to calling you by your new name yet but he will get there quick

And TRUST ME

He will beat the living shit out of anyone who dead names you or misgenders you

Whether that be on purpose or by accident

He doesn't care

He just wants to show you that he will protect you always <3

PLATONIC:

So you and Trevor have been friends for years

You actually met when you bought the trailer a few down from him

It was slightly hot and cold between you two at first

BUTTT

You ended up helping him out on a job when Wade couldn't

ANYWAYSS

You were both at the bar closest to Floyd's apartment having a drink when you worked up the courage to tell him

"Hey Trevor... we're best friends right?"

"Yeah, why?"

Taking a deep breath you told him

"I'm transgender..."

At first he did just sit there and stare at you

Which caused you to grow nervous and tears began forming

Which THEN caused Trevor to go into panic mode and put an arm around your shoulder

"Woah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you"

He would begin asking you how you know and just a lot of other questions

Purely because he was really curious since he hasn't gone though something like this

Apart from when he realised he was bisexual

He would give you a small hug and reassure you that you were still best friends

"Does this mean we can go to the strip club together now that you're a dude? It'll be fun"

"Trevor, I could've done all of that before"

"Yeah but it's different now!"

He tries his best for you

Trevor would try and make you feel comfortable during any sort of situation

Once Wade misgendered you (Well... he didn't know yet)

He said something to Floyd on the lines of "She's Trevor's best friend"

Safe to say Wade wished he never had any facial piercings...

When Trevor got mad at him, Wade instantly began apologising and claimed he didn't know

You just smiled and waved it off, telling him it was fine

Even now Trevor likes to bring it up and tell you that he will beat him up for it

"You never know, he might not have learned his lesson yet..."

"No Trevor"

"C'mon Y/N please!"

"I said no"

"...fine"

Overall, he supports you 1000% and loves you to pieces :)

#trevor philips #gta v #franklin clinton #michael de santa #michael townley #gta 5 #trevor philips x reader #trevor philips romantic #trevor philips platonic #headcanon #transgender #ftm #wade hebert #los santos

[genderqueerdykes]

I've always felt uncomfortable in my agab and it's taken me a long time (I'm in my 30s now) to get to the point where I finally figured myself out and realized I want to transition (ftm). I know this is a very individual thing and depends on a lot of things, but do you have any general advice on coming out as trans?

I'M SO PROUD OF YOU THOUGH!!!!! i'm really, really proud of people who come out in their 30s, 40s, and so on, it makes me soooo happy you have no idea, i'm glad you finally get to live a more comfortable life for yourself

in general, it's way easier to come out to friends than family, unless you know you have specific friends that will take it poorly. either way, coming out to friends at first makes it way easier. don't feel pressured to wait until HRT or until you look the way you want to to come out. i know a lot of people feel like they have to "look" trans before they come out to be taken seriously. don't wait, just tell people.

take the time to build confidence in yourself before coming out. find a day where you already feel good about who you are and how you identify, and where you actually want to talk about who you are. i find it's easiest when you actually want to be having that conversation in the first place, it makes other people more receptive and engaged.

starting with name and pronouns is usually easiest, that's what i did, if you want to change those, or if they give you dysphoria. i came out to my best friend at the time and said "hey, i think i'm a guy, I'd like you to start calling me (name) and using he/him pronouns." i was very comfortable with that person, though, and i know it's not quite that easy for everyone. you can write a letter, text, email, IM message, etc. if you want because some people find it easier to write down their thoughts. either way, give it to them as simply as possible and while they're chewing on that and changing the way they refer to you in conversation, you can transition socially in other ways like the way you dress, etc.

if they respond poorly, i would recommend finding support elsewhere and transitioning with people who support you, whoever that can be. whether they're online friends, local queer friends you find at an LGBT alliance, transgender resource center, gay hangout spot, what have you.

coming out to family is a bit harder, that one i had to do long distance and over text. but if you have a good relationship with your family, you can chance that once you have a bit more confidence and support. coming out at work is honestly the easiest because at least in the united states they are legally obligated to accept the change and if they don't you can get your managers and coworkers in serious trouble. that usually tends to go over the smoothest. if they refuse, they can very easily lose their jobs if you take the correct channels to report them for discrimination.

anyway, i hope that was enough to help! take care, i'm so proud of you, i'm glad you've realized who you are and are taking the steps to live a more authentic life! good luck with everything@

#asks #answers #coming out #trans man #ftm #trans men

[aluckiicoin]

budget mobile rules/about

Aventurine belongs to the Honkai Star Rail universe. More specifically:

A senior manager in the IPC Strategic Investment Department and one of the Ten Stonehearts.

As far as personality goes:

He is not a nice person. While he seems rather laid back and as if nothing could ever bother him, he will talk down on you, use you for his own advantage, sell you out if he thinks the offer is good enough. He will manipulate and use you to his whims. His constant smile and ability to wrap words around makes it almost impossible to discern his true feeling. Truthfully, he might not be able to ID them himself. He can be nice and he will be if he thinks it will help him win you over.

But if you want more about how he is, you will have to look up the Information tag (and the one on the old blog).

A very short breakdown on rules:

he won't know who you are unless you are (for now) Topaz. If you want him to, you can mention it before (that does exclude OCs that are a integral part of the IPC, obviously he should've heard of those before). He might have heard of you if you're known to the IPC however.

I can decide what he does by myself, thank you

I'm not big on ships, mostly because I don't wanna hurt myself or others; and he's likely never gonna be what you want him to become

I'm terrified of people and therefore hate dms with a passion, mostly because I can only get myself to concentrate on talking to two people at a time

no nsfw here, it's all over there

if you have a problem with trans folks you canfucking leave and get hit by a car for all I care

general tumblr rp lingo:

I am not mutuals exclusive

I will have favourites, it's a human thing to do

I'm a fan of OCs, so come at me

you can always bother him via askbox

it would be awesome if you could cut your posts. You don't have to but if you don't it's unlikely I will follow back because I only have so much space on my dashboard and if I come back from work I'd rather not scroll through 98 posts on the same thread.

I don't mind duplicates - really I wanna see him mess with other versions of himself

in the spirit of favourites I'll probably find mains, those will be the people meant if any muse is ever mentioned in a thread. That's not first come, first served.

I'm very low activity. I will likely reblog one or two memes every day but answers will likely have to wait until the weekend.

The writer:

I'm not a good person even though people that know me will disagree

I agonize over everything I say and then it still comes out wrong

for someone usually rping muses with people skills I am AWFUL at it

I'm overthinking everything, I get anxious about anything and I wish any of my muses would just share a tiny bit of their fucking ego bc I sure could use it

You can call my Skully (Skullbert)

I'm 30+ years, from europe and a guy.

and verses!

encased in amber light ( verse I; everything star rail) which is everything pre-penacony (as in everything up until 2.0 and actually checking into the hotel)

swarm disaster; muse edition (star rail but the characters keep multiplying) ; anything from 'the characters found tumblr and use it' to general meeting multiple versions of the same character goes here

the emergency plan; depending on how the penacony storyline goes on, Ven fakes his death and hides out in Belobog from then on (though with Boothill's description I might have hopes that my suspicions are wrong)

everything else

#out of cards ( ooc ) #mobile rules

[eclipse-song]

I can't stop thinking about a tweet I saw a few days ago commenting on some completely unsourced comment on the Rider wiki. It was trying to say Kobayashi hated showa rider and coming up with a whole conspiracy theory on hating Inoue because his dad wrote a lot of Showa rider and this made him not like her. It was all pretty ridiculous and a lot of people were laughing at it as they rightfully should. But...idk it got me thinking about how toku fans especially have a tendency to form a lot of strong personalities and ideas about these writers that we quite frankly....don't know much about personally. Especially when many people are basing these ideas off of their writing, which I know from my work, it's broadcasters and producers who have a lot more say on story direction. Depending on the production, the writer is sometimes even working until they create something they dislike but pleases the client.

Kobayashi has very few interviews to be found but most of them indicate she has no problem working with certain people, and honestly it would be fairly unprofessional to outwardly state that she did in the middle of an interview. She's even expressed how she and Inoue have quite similar writing processes in one that I did happen to read.

and for Inoue...I feel like I maybe just have this very glass half full mentality or at least a tendency to assume the best of people but....I get confused by how a lot of people in toku fandom talk about Inoue. Like the guy isn't without fault but also I see people talk about him like he is malicious and intentionally seeking to harm people when everything I've read about him is that staff and coworkers of all ages have had extremely good experiences with him. He's old and in his 60s and can put his foot in his mouth sometimes (like the rtr question in that one livestream he did say he thought it was a bit ridiculous to have two Kam riders having gay sex) but also in that same answer he said he wanted to do something he wouldn't be allowed to show on TV which is equally true. He also in other places has said a major reason was simply that he thinks Tezuka's actor is a good looking man. There's also the fact he's been writing queer storylines in shows since the 80s (dirty pair trans episode is legit a banger episode) and in the zio vs decade stuff he has Heure and Ora have a meaningful conversation about how it's perfectly fine to be a boy who likes other boys. IDK! I think those aren't really the actions of a person who is actively looking to harm people, it reads a lot more to me as a 60 year old man who is making some genuine attempts at shaking things up and is just sort of missing the mark in places. Him being a 60 year old cis dude is also where I just go “yeah that’s why he writes a lot of women like that” though he does have some stand out characters as well who can be excellent. He reminds me of a lot of my old uncles who are ultimately well meaning but just say shit sometimes. Along with the fact he said he's attracted to people regardless of gender I don't see him really as some huge big bad villain who's "queer baiting" or any of that nonsense.

Ultimately this is a conversation that happens at my workplace a lot these days too which is why it makes me feel some type of way. Directors and story artists and writers I've met who have been painted as not so nice turn out to be lovely people who've had their actions misconstrued. Then I've met people who I've been rather excited to work with and ended up severely disappointed in their behavior. I just can't help but feel it's really strange to have tons of focus on writers who we mostly know through their work that they're paid to do according to how some client wants it. I've definitely been guilty of this in the past but formulating personalities of strangers we don't know, especially when painting them in a wholly bad light, is just sort of uncomfortable to me.

#might delete this idk #its something thats been weighing on my mind #i have strange anxiety around voicing these thoughts sometimes

[lady-tadpole]

I miss you.

[Emotional ramble ahead.]

A while ago I was thinking about how many friends I have, compared to how many I’ve had.

When you have a hard time connecting to people and you grew up in a culture that thinks being outgoing is rude, and being passionate about things means you’re unstable… and you’re a very direct and passionate person… Well.

Let’s just say that I never met most of my closest friends, and I haven’t messaged many of them for years. At some point I just got used to considering friendships from the outside. I could never be anyone’s friend, right? Not even speaking of “Best Friend.” Simply doesn’t happen.

Instead, I started identifying with charismatic people on the internet who made content I connected with. If I can’t be popular or even liked, I can still enjoy creating things – and others who also created.

Parasocial relationships get a bad rep, honestly. In concept, there’s nothing wrong if you connect with someone you’ll never meet. To learn about yourself through a stranger. It’s perfectly normal, actually: It’s one of those things that makes us human.

Sure, some people take it too far by starting to stalk or harass people online but, really? People always take it too far with just about everything.

Suppose that brings me to the catboy in the room.

Today, on Dec 19, 2023, I learned that YouTuber JoCat permanently quit his content creation work due to online harassment. Harassment not by overzealous fans, but certainly by mentally unstable individuals. All Joseph did was be sincere online. Sweet fool.

Not until I read his community post explaining the situation did I realise how much this guy and the stuff he made had meant to me.

As of writing this, I am nearly 23 years old. I’ve been out as trans for three years, I’m on hormones, I’ve had a surgery, and I’ve had my legal name and sex changed. I’m a well-liked colleague at my workspace, and my online friends know me as a thoughtful and creative artist and Dungeon Master.

I’d been watching JoCat since I was 16. For seven of my most meaningful years, Joseph has inspired me so many times.

He inspired me to not be toxic online even if no one would ever reward me for it – it’s gained me some very close friends.

He inspired me to look inwards, and not feel ashamed for myself – it let me evolve into a person I’m finally learning to respect.

He inspired me to keep being creative even if it doesn’t immediately benefit me – I started being a Dungeon Master largely thanks to him and his amazing work.

Finally, he inspired me to show care – to those around me as well as the things I do. I’ve been in a happy relationship with my long-term friend for ten months now. I always thought I was too abrasive to love.

All this to say, so much of me is JoCat that I’ve stopped noticing – until now. Until he left.

I miss you, Joseph. I feel almost like I lost a friend, even if I’ll never talk to you.

#vent #he deserved better #goodbye jocat

[izzyspussy]

controversial take but like. i don't like trans eddie headcanons because i feel like.

1: his entire character arc and storyline are so intrinsically wrapped up in the outside expectations of his assigned gender and sexuality as a straight man and how having the specific pressures associated with that hinder him as a developing person. i don't think him being afab makes sense in the context of his story and the character interactions, especially with his mother (and therefore also It, and therefore the entire plot, because that's how that works in this case). i simply don't think you can make him afab and still have even remotely the same fundamental storyline, and if you don't have that then you don't have that character anymore.

characters where their gender is not so inherent to their arc and/or is not quite so dependent on the specific experience of one particular gender and the socially attached sexuality don't have this problem. say izzy hands, whose gender is not that important beyond that the generalized thesis of his canon is "this is what it means to be a man". he could be any type of man and still be the same guy playing the same role in the narrative and having - generally speaking - the same dynamic with the other characters. or dean winchester, whose character does have some dependency on the gender and sexuality expectations others have for him (and that he has for himself), but in a way that is a little more nebulous and not concretely connected to the actual plot. the villains would be the same, the plot points would be the same, and even the primary on-screen character dynamics would be - again generally speaking - basically the same if he were afab. i really do not think this is true for eddie.

i think you could still have eddie if you made him a trans woman. and i even think you could make a close enough mirror of him as a cis woman (if you did it right re: the themes and why his gender is so important in the original and how that would translate, which in the cis-swaps i've seen in this fandom has not been the case - but then again cis-swaps as a general rule are not very good or well thought out lol). but i really think that in order to make him ftm you'd have to change so much about how the story goes, and if you try to keep everything the same it doesn't work narratively/mechanically speaking. things just plain would not have happened that way, and no one seems to even try to make them happen the way they would have in those different circumstances.

and because of this, most trans eddie headcanons really come off as shallow and even though i know in most cases they probably aren't they do feel transphobic to me. like... why him? because he's small? because he's prissy? because he doesn't perform and arguably does not enjoy the specific kind of masculinity expected of him, one of the fundamental conflicts of his character as-is like i mentioned above? why not, say, mike or ben? hell, why not bev?

and 2: i think it's important to acknowledge and be comfortable with and celebrate when cis men and trans men have experiences that can strongly relate to each other. as a trans man, i really identify with eddie and some of the experiences he's had or that i imagine he would have if his story continued.

this is obviously more personal and not so much connected with narrative coherence, but a cis man who knows how i felt the first time i wore gender affirming underwear, or finally had sex with the right gender dynamic, or shed the gender roles assigned to me one by one until i was just left with who i genuinely am, or made the choice to recover from childhood gender-motivated abuse, etc etc etc is really validating and nice. and tbh i think that is its own kind of representation.

it's not just true that trans women and cis women both have Women's ExperiencesTM and that trans men and cis men both have Men's ExperiencesTM, but also that many experiences we might associate with transness are not exclusive to transness and nor are they things that only happen to or are felt by people of the same assigned gender. like. it's not only that trans women have experiences of womanhood that cis women have, it's also that cis women have experiences of womanhood that trans women have (and the same goes for men), you know what i mean?

and it's just really disappointing to me that ftm trans eddie specifically is the most popular trans headcanon in the IT fandom, to the point of any other trans headcanon being fringe. and that it does generally seem to be because of transandrophobia-typical reasons like his size and "feminine" qualities (and frequently he is made to be more "nonthreatening" as well, even when not trans smdh). and that no one seems to want to engage with the particular gendered experiences involved in his character unless they make him trans first (in which case tbh they just erase them Differently, not less).

you don't have to be trans to have a complicated or interesting gender! you don't have to only identify with people who are just like you! sometimes trans men and cis men is the same! i just wish we could do something different one time!!

#how do i turn replies off lol #jack facts #it #eddie kaspbrak #hc #reading process #anyway in the noble and immortal words of nathaniel #a trans headcanon is not (and should not be) inherently an AU

[teddy-feathers]

So. Instead of writing things in order or actual scenes... I've just been writing clips of flirting/kissing that may or may not be used in my undertale Skeleton OC fics

so have some of those snippets. i guess I'll label them for quick understanding

General thoughts of Roman (trans Human turned Skeleton OC)

There were things Roman never thought to miss. Kissing - the press of someone's lips to his, warm breath mingling, tongues sliding against one another, sucking someone's bottom lip into his mouth...The warmth and smoothness of skin to skin contact.

The build up of heat in his body, that lighting rod line that centered in his pelvis and sent shock waves through his body whenever someone touched him just right. Tension that was almost but not quite pain that could snap taunt or ease before tightening once more... it was all a bunch of chemicals and body parts he didn't have anymore, and he wasn't about to ask if there were equivalents.

He wasn't.

he could explore his new body and see what, if anything, came of it but... he was in someone else's house, with strangers nearby. Who knows what they'd be able to hear or sense.

no, better not test things. besides his sex drive had never been that high without prompting he just... hadn't thought to miss it until now. What other things had he taken for granted that he would never again get to experience - in the same way or at all.

Roman chilling with Underswap Papyrus

Roman... couldnt help but gender things. He didn't mean to, didn't want to, but it was a hard habit to break. Simple things like clothes or gestures became landmines he was desperate to avoid least he give himself away.

So when he had the urge to kiss Papyrus' cheek in thanks he took a moment to stop and reboot himself - a moment too long.

"what? do I have something on my face?" Papyrus says in an amused tone, and Roman feels himself flush as he had been caught staring.

Quickly he shakes his head but before he can blurt something out that would make the akward situation better - or worse - Papyrus leans in and says "See this is the part where you say ' no, but would you like to?' to see if you can get a kiss."

Roman drunk talking to Swapfell Papyrus (P: Papyrus R: Roman)

p: "yeah so sans has kinda been against romcoms since his life turned into one."

r: "While that's totally fair like what the fuck."

p: "messed up right?"

r: "i guess he dodged a bullet but Sans is a total catch why would she-"

p: "did you just call my brother a catch?"

r: "Hes employed - wildely successful at that. Hes a man in uniform and if you want rugged well he drives a beast of a pick up, works out everyday, and hes the leader of a troop of monster kid scouts. Plus its not like he isnt attractive."

p: "You think sans is good looking?"

r: "Why are you just repeating things ive said? You're both super hot, it was like the first thing i noticed about you guys."

p: "huh. okay maybe you have had too much to drink."

r: "what makes you say that? I feel great."

Roman talking to swap Sans

"i want us to do things that make you happy too." Sans says, not quite pouting.

Roman rolls his eyelights and bumps his shoulder against Sans'. "You make me happy." He says honestly.

"Aw, thats sweet." Sans says, his expression brighting a moment and then he glances sideways at him, tone going sly. "Wait, is that your way of saying you want to do me?"

Fell Papyrus kissing Roman (whos magic color is magenta)

If Roman had thought about it, he would have assumed Papyrus was the sort of guy to just go for the kiss - take what he wanted you know?

But this... His face close to Roman's as he bends down, his hands reaching for but not touching him, not yet, his voice low instead of loud, and soft with an almost purring quality to it as he says "I would very much like to kiss you Roman. May I?" Made so much more sense.

It was like everything clicked into place. Papyrus was the respectful one, even though he didn't seem like it on the surface.

Roman's mouth was dry as he stared up into those patiently waiting sockets. He swallows and hears his throat click and his face slowly fill with heat.

Not trusting himself to speak, he nods, once - but once is enough.

Papyrus is slow, gentle as he cups Roman's face with his hands. Hands that are softer than they had any right to be considering they were bone, and a warm comforting presence against his cheeks.

Bending down further, Papyrus closes the distance between them and though it is happening slowly, with plenty of time for him to pull away should he change his mind, it seems to happen too fast for Roman to even close his sockets.

Teeth meet teeth - but it isn't a clash of bone, its a malleable meeting. It feels strange but once again Papyrus shows patience, that up until this moment Roman didn't realize he had, and shows him what to do, teaching him how skeletons kiss.

When Papyrus pulls away he looks satisfied and hungry all at once, Roman doesn't know what he looks like but he feels hot - not just in his face but all over, like his magic is trying to burn him up from the inside. All he can think is to hope he isn't glowing pink the way he feels.

fell Sans being a butt after Roman just kissed his brother

Sans is waiting outside. Well maybe that was conceded. Sans probably wasn't waiting for him so much as already bumming around out on the balcony.

Still, it felt awkward and if it wasn't for his ridiculously contrary nature he'd go back inside. But he couldn't show weakness, couldn't let Sans know anything was wrong.

... Not that anything was wrong, exactly. Papyrus had just given him a lot to think about, and he'd rather be alone to do the thinking. But Sans was here and turning around would be avoiding him.

So he moved to sit on the edge of the small balcony, sticking his legs through the bars like he would any other time and tried not to let his head bang against the railing repetitively the way he wants it to.

blah blah blah. Sans says something offensive/ confrontational/ something so Roman gets up to leave.

Only Sans stands in his way.

"What." Roman says flatly, not in any mood for Sans' shit right now.

As if he didn't get the memo, Sans repeats cheerfully "What?"

So Roman sighs and trys to go around him, only for Sans to step back in his path blocking him once more.

"Sans I-" Roman starts with exasperation heavy in his tone only to be cut off by Sans - verbally this time.

"Got something on your face." Sans' shit eating grin is not to be trusted but its such a baffling statement that Roman actually pauses to lift a hand up to his face.

"What?" If anything Sans' grin grows wider.

"Here let me get that for ya." He says and then suddenly reaches out and snags Roman's collar, dragging him up agaisnt Sans' chest which he latches onto for stability.

Before confusion can be replaced by anger, Sans opens his mouth revealing a glowing red tongue - no practically a tentacle - that laps up Roman's teeth in a wet streak.

Roman jerks away and Sans lets him, letting him go just as suddenly as he had grabbed him.

"What the actual fuck?!?" Roman exclaims incredulously.

Sans licks his own teeth with the appendage before it slides back into his mouth. "I licked it so its mine."

thank you for coming to my lame shit posting

#undertale fic #snippets #oc/sans #oc/papyrus #bitchbear #im so fucking tired #and this made me happy so im sharing it

[casiavium]

cut my hair short like I've wanted to for years and instead of the gender euphoria I thought I'd have I'm sitting in the dark, sobbing in my room. So I'm just going to ramble my thoughts

I love my haircut. I've wanted this haircut since I was 12, before probably, when I saw Thalia Grace join the Hunters of Artemis and forsake men. (At the time the idea that hunter/hunter relationships could happen was something I clung onto so bad, and I still do. Mythology backs me up, RR) It took me nearly 10 years to actually get someone to cut it for me. It's always been a struggle of oh we can't go too short :) you'll look like a boy :) :) I don't regret getting my haircut. I love it so much, it feels nice.

But it doesn't feel the way I thought it would.

I had long pinkish brown hair before this summer (dyed it pink without bleaching, let it fade) I cut it off in May, but again the stylist who was so nice and so sweet and my sister's friend's mother left it a little too long so I could still style it. So I could still look like a girl. With my "they/them is plural" and "why are there so many trans/gay kids in this tiny rural county" mother in the room (until I yelled at her in the car once because singular they is grammatically correct and is used in every day life, and she's smart enough to know that. she did agree with me then, at least) I couldn't ask for shorter.

They were gossiping about the ballet studio I used to dance at. I never fit in with those girls. I never looked pretty or was flexible or danced very well. I felt my best dancing my senior year as the Beast/Prince in Beauty and the Beast when we had no guys at the studio, but I was so jealous of all the rest of them in pretty tutus and pointe shoes I had paid so much time and blood and money for that I never got to dance in.

It's been four years since then. I still mourn who I could have been, who I can never be again because my body stopped working that way. As if my chronic illness is what's keeping me from being one of them, not everything else.

I don't know what snapped in me that I wanted to finally cut my hair now. I bleached it the night before, and it came out surprisingly well. Bleach blond(e), but the semi permanent pink had been soaked into my hair so long that even with the bleach, it turned pink in places. It turned a beautiful, feminine, ballet slipper pink that I couldn't have gotten if I tried. I was going to dye the rest of it pink again, this time on bleached hair so it would be more vibrant. Mostly bleach blond(e), though.

And yet, after washing away the chemicals that hurt my lungs and burnt my skin, it wasn't what I wanted. I joked that it looked like Draco Malfoy, but really, it scared me. I looked into the mirror that night and I didn't see a girl. I saw a boy, the kind of boy I very much did not want to be. The kind of boy that scared me and hurt me and bullied me in high school without even really knowing or caring that I existed. The kind of boy that all my straight and bi friends would date and get abused by and his impact on their lives still comes in the form of therapy appointments and fucks up their current relationships.

I looked into the mirror and knew I didn't want to be a boy, ever, and I never want people to think of me as a boy.

Expect for that person that called me he/him in a Link cosplay. Or the little kids from the dance studio that only knew me as the prince from beauty and the beast.

It's like, if people see me as a boy without hesitation, that's cool. But if they look at me and think they know I'm trans, that's what I don't want. It's like, they don't see a boy if they see that. They see a girl who hates herself and being a girl so much she's masquerading as someone she's not, and she's not doing it well. I've seen the way they interact with my friends, the oops sorry he's and the let's go guys—wait, can I even say that anymore? They see me as a boy in a girl way, but not in the fun genderqueer fuckery kind of way, but with cisgender sorrow and pity.

I'm not a boy. I want to be a girl. I want to be a girl, but some part of me knows I'm not. I just want to be a girl and I want to love other girls and I don't want to deal with the inherent not-girlness that modern lesbianism has forced upon itself, that's always been there and never been there, I don't want to go into my lesbian literature class anymore because now I'm not just another gay girl in a lesbian English lit class, I'm a ??? and my identities will be questioned by people who have no answers either. I'll tell them I'm a girl, and they'll give me a look like "okay 😏 but when you start falling down the she/her to she/they... to he/him pipeline I'm going to say I told you so with so much condescendence any joy I have for making you 'one of us' is going to feel worthless".

I hate my haircut. I miss my long hair. I want a boyfriend I can brag about choosing despite all the pretty girls in the world. I want to fit in with the girls who I went out to bars with once, who I went to pride with but felt like the token obvious queer so they could validate their own place on the sidelines of the parade while their perfect boyfriends texted them I love yous. I don't want to be their toy model so they can use me to carve out a place in a community they already belong in, when I'm still too scared to hold my girlfriend's hand but I'm fine wearing a flag that I don't even know if it's "problematic" because someone will always find something wrong with me being a girl with a girlfriend, even among people who say they're just like me.

If I'm even a girl (and if my gf is even a girl, which is a whole other issue I've only heard the beginning of)

I love my haircut, because people are going to look at me and think I'm hot now. I stand out. I draw attention. I'm on the exec board of three clubs, I have positions of power and will stand out even more. I'll be recognizable and unforgettable. As I end the so called "trial period" and am getting ready to be a "real adult", I want one last chance before I blend into the real world never to be seen again. I love and hate my haircut because of how other people will see me now.

I had always wanted to cut it for myself. So I thought.

I love my haircut, but people are going to look at me and ask for my pronouns in a way they never did when I had long hair. When I actually felt more attached to being non-binary, when I felt less like a girl. I feel more like a girl than I ever have, and now no one is going to believe me.

#I've never felt more connection to the label of trans or nonbinary but at the same time I've never felt less #I am really interested in the subject of the lesbian literature class but man am I DREADING the people who are going to be in it #I know what I signed up for. but if I have so sit through a Socratic Seminar arguing the existence of nb lesbians I think I will Scream #like. I've already heard from one girk who took the class that it's pretty heavy and triggering material. and from another that she didn't #understand non-binary lesbians before taking the class #how do I explain now that's I'm still nonbinary. but I'm a girl. and in my situation that's a really nonbinary thing to be #it's not gender dysphoria it's more like... gender mourning. gender expectations vs reality #I stopped crying which is nice I'm glad I wrote my thoughts out #I want to share because I have never seen a POV like this and who knows. maybe someone else is going through it tonight