#I think I went off tbh LOL

[tezzbot]

This might be a part 1 I have a bit more to share but here's a load of misc doodles from me files I hadn't posted yet ^_^

#sth #sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #amy rose #knuckles the echidna #shadow the hedgehog #silver the hedgehog #espio the chameleon #charmy bee #mydoodles #fun fact the Espio in that third drawing was my first ever attempt at drawing him lolll #I think I went off tbh LOL #talk to me aboyut the first one [brennan voice PLEEEEEEAA] #That's also my first ever Maria there are things I would change were I to draw her again lol

[likealittleheartbeat]

I try to generally be constructive and engaged with the show I love on here, so on this day, I’ll just say that one of the most thematically important aspects for me from the original ATLA is Aang’s emotional core of real shame for running away when he was hurt by the monk’s decision to send him away. People who feel the kind of deep-seated shame that Aang feels from this decision can understand how that kind of all-encompassing shame is not built around a simple failure or a lie they tell themselves; it’s constructed from real misbehaviors and transgressions of their own sense of ethics—lashing out, telling lies, attempting to hurt others intentionally—that then have consequences (abuses, abandonments, or deaths) which seem to far exceed their expectations or even basic logic.

The combination of the misbehavior with exaggerated existential punishments (along with a lack of support and amend-making in the immediate wake of the events) is what transforms a sense of guilt (I fucked up) into shame (I am a forever fuck-up). Then shame, that sense of being a secret monster ‘no matter what I do or how good everyone thinks I am,’ invites all the avoidance strategies (Aang puts on big smiles, makes lots of jokes, constantly tries to make everyone happy, hops from town to town without building deeper connections). One doesn’t want to acknowledge one’s true feelings or let others in to see those feelings and experiences because it’s too painful to face the grief at the same time that you have to look at yourself for being responsible—even when you recognize it wasn’t totally your fault. It’s just that if you had just been good, less emotional, less human, then maybe the world wouldn’t be so messed up. Of course, in a zen view of things, the world will always be messed up in the same way it will always be beautiful. These are constant facts that always coexist in balance, and this is the truth that Aang learns and that undergirds the whole series.

So I always loved that Aang ran away. It was his sin and his salvation. And it becomes this constant tension for the series—he gets hurt in Bato of the Water Tribe and starts to run away from Katara and Sokka, he runs away to the Guru in the Crossroads of Destiny and his best friend is attacked, he and the gaang retreat after the Day of the Black Sun failure, he runs away to meditation in Sozin’s Comet when everyone wants him preparing for war. Aang’s reluctance to be a hero and the attachments and petulance for which he gets criticized are what metamorphasize to become his most noble attributes. They allow him to empathize with others shame and, ultimately, wield the kind of compassion that can deconstruct the power and perfectionism of imperialism.

So yes, Aang ran away from his temple 100 years ago. It wasn’t the mentally healthy choice. It wasn’t the ethical choice. It wasn’t the wise choice. It was human and emotional and shameful and real. Aang is a better character for it. ATLA is a better show because of it. And we are better people when we understand these kind of tragic emotional experiences that people are trying so hard to grow through.

#aanglove #vague posting about the nf adaptation lol #I won’t go off in my posts but I will in my comments #only 17 minutes in tbh #and already amazed at realizing how cool it was that the of series wasn’t told in a linear style lol #I do think the casting department went off for the nf series tho #the kid playing aang is so perf #and all the actors fit their parts so well #but the show doesn’t understand or seem interested in depicting colonial violence at alllll #and the language of the fire nation wanting to ‘take over the world’ is so much more marvel than a colonial rhetoric #and then aang just wanting to ‘go get some air’ to clear his head…😑 #we aren’t allowed to have problematic protagonists anymore I guess #only people with perfect mental health strategies allowed in young adult fiction #because we view fiction from a moralistic standpoint now instead of an empathetic one #but 🤷🏻‍♀️

[pixelatedraindrops]

"You've been through a lot... But it's alright now.

You fought long and hard Makoto...

Everyone in Kanai Ward is grateful to you."

A lil' MakoYuma comfort edit I attempted just because...

...someone needs to give this poor thing a hug fr... ;w;

show your emotions lil' CEO, you've held them in too long.

ty again for the vulnerable sadboi makoto sprite edits @shiut💕

#rain code spoilers #rain code #master detective archives: rain code #whumpcode #its angst/comfort so it counts idc #yuma kokohead #makoto kagutsuchi #makoyuma #my edits #pixeledits #yeah for my first edit in a while #I went with something soft #I want Yuma to hug Makoto so badly... ;-; #weird hug but its the best I could do lol #I love these two so much #did something similar to that one YumaYakou edit I did #lil foggy effect because its supposed to be a serene moment #much as I love whumping these two w illness... #I do want them to be happy no more sad times ;-; #AND NO MORE CONCEALING YOUR EMOTIONS #YOU WILL CRY AND YOU WILL FEEL GOOD DOING IT #also yes this is post game yuma #ROLE REVERSAL TIME #not the best edit but its hard to edit makoto #WHEN HIS HAIR IS CUT OFF FROM HIS SPRITE X-X #yuma's probably the only one who can comfort him tbh #given he trusts nobody else #I think Makoto would be a very silent crier #not long after he'd wipe his tears away going back to normal #but let him have his small moment for now <3

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

Hey guys, just a friendly reminder that, no matter how far Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss get from actual biblical descriptions of things, they'll never truly be as bad as Supernatural ended up getting :)

#I don't think anything could get as far from bible lore as SPN did tbh... #that show went off the fuckin rails lol #hazbin hotel #helluva boss #hellaverse #supernatural #late night ramblings

[camels-pen]

(i haven't read Whole Cake in a while, and i never really watched it, so bear with me)

I'd love to write a fic with Usopp on Whole Cake. it'd be sooo fucking long and i'd need to refresh myself on the entire arc, but god i'd probably be so satisfied when it's done. specifically for having brought a single moment in my head to life, but we'll get to that.

On Zou, he insists to be taken along on the Sanji rescue team and has worked himself up with a whole bunch of very good reasons as to why he should go there instead of helping in Wano, but of course Luffy just immediately accepts with a "yeah sure"

With Whole Cake, I think he'd be flipping between having fun as part of the idiot trio/quartet (Luffy, Chopper, Carrot), and being terrified with Nami. There wouldn't be that many differences in the arc as a whole, though; some things would be easier/better and some things would be worse- I don't necessarily think Usopp's presence would be overall an advantage or disadvantage, just different. Like, major events would stay mostly the same, but little details would change and maybe those little details would build to a far more drastic change-

for example, maybe one of Big Mom's kids considers themself a great sniper and wants a match with Usopp, or is motivated to work harder because Usopp is around and they want to take him out and boast about it. Maybe it means Sunny takes more damage than canon, or maybe Usopp's help means less damage to Sunny. (idk if i'd really do smth like this, but it's just an example)

skjdhf fuck i'm really not equipped to try and figure this out when i don't remember shit from Whole Cake aaaa

I do know that, despite his penchant for talking and rambling, I'd probably have Usopp be dead silent after his initial shock when Sanji fights Luffy. Everything about that is the same, except Usopp is just watching Sanji the whole time- not panicking, not moving, and not speaking. He doesn't say a word the entire time, doesn't even make a sound, and that, along with Luffy's words and Nami's begging, stick with Sanji.

(Usopp is thinking of his own fight with Luffy in Water 7, he's partially wondering if this was what it was like- if it was this painful to watch from the sidelines- and partially knowing he doesn't have to say a word, because he knew, like he knew back then, that it didn't matter what was said. It wasn't quite the same, but he could tell in the way Sanji moved, in the way he spoke and held himself, that he was putting on a front, trying to be brave in all the wrong ways. Usopp didn't say a word to Sanji because there was nothing he could say that Sanji himself didn't already know. Should've known. And his quiet, direct stare, was more than enough.)

the singular moment i really wanna write, is a scene where Sanji is apologizing for dragging them into his mess- either during the big meeting in Bege's castle or some other time- and Usopp's like "I'll do what you can't, you do what I can't, right?" and Sanji pauses, a little confused, until he remembers Enies Lobby and a stupid mask and cape and-

and tears are gathering in his eyes now, fuck, but he laughs a little. It sounds wet and his face is itchy and they're surrounded by tentative allies, but he- he laughs again and he says, "Fuck, you remembered that?"

Usopp shrugs, a little smile on his face. "They were some wise words from a wise man."

Sanji laughs a third time. "You think I'm wise?"

And they banter a little more before Bege tells them to quit it since they're on a time constraint or something. Quietly, Usopp will ask, "It-it helps. On bad days. And I figured, 'what's a worse day than this?' Ah, not that you getting married would ever be bad per se-"

"Usopp," Sanji says, looking more relaxed and settled. He smiles fondly and grabs his friend in a one armed hug, crushing him to his side. "Thanks."

And yeah, don't remember much beyond that, except the whole "hiding and then busting out of the cake" bit, which would mean Usopp in a cute little tuxedo or smth- maybe with a fedora aaaaaa <- loves fedoras- helping out with the fighting and eventually sailing with everyone to Wano.

He would be so distressed about fixing up Sunny now that the whole thing with Whole Cake is over. Maybe there'd be a gag about him promising Franky to take good care of Sunny while they were gone and being confident, after being Franky's tinkering partner and learning from him over time, that he could handle minor repair work much better than he did the first time around with Merry. And so when he finally takes in all the very-not-minor repairs he has to do, he's certain Franky is gonna strangle him for not keeping his promise. Probably also try to write in some nostalgic 'repairman Usopp' vibes from pre-Water 7.

Also something something, Sanji, wanting to do more for the crew bc he still feels guilty about Whole Cake, decides to take it upon himself to help Usopp not fall into a whole anxiety spiral about the ship. In turn, Usopp ends up helping Sanji not feel so guilty- usually by handing his own words back to him on a silver platter. And, yknow, having the two of them bonding and being buddies again like they so rarely get to be in canon nowadays qwq

#one piece #usopp #whole cake island #nemotime #that bit in bege's castle isn't exactly how it would go. just kinda. trying to get the vibe. also it's wayyy too short lol #the sanuso bit can be platonic or romantic. originally when i was gonna write out this idea a while ago i was thinking romantic with my #'they get engaged/married b4 dressrosa' au but tbh platonic works just as good #im- these guys man. i hate them so much (affectionate) #i'll get to rereading whole cake and finding a way to put him in there but for now. this. #if anyone's got other ideas im all ears #edit from like march 7: thinking about this again #maybe usopp being silent is an indicator for sanji that usopp's really fucking disappointed or shocked or w/e #but for usopp himself it's like being back in water 7. he doesn't even mean to be silent. he's got words built up on the tip of his tongue #but none of them come out. and despite sanji being Right There all he wants to do in that moment. is run. #at the very least he stays and watches the whole confrontation through. but afterwards he probably feels like shit #because he's the guy who's great with words right? he's the guy that can relate the most out of the group who went to WCI. he should be abl #to make a significant difference and help convince sanji to come home. but he feels like he failed. like he's going to lose another friend #and it's going to be all his fault. (again) #[not really. we all know merry wasn't his fault but we love old insecurities rearing their head in this house] #later he'd probably end up saying the words he wanted to say. and maybe it's better that way. that he ended up waiting #until luffy's had a proper shot at scolding sanji first. because then usopp can act as support and reinforcement. which. yknow. #a sniper's duty and all #anyway i got other shit to do so i'm cutting myself off here #wci usopp

[safyresky]

Scrimbly Jacqueline 16/52: what have you done this time, Jack.

ft @lmelodie's lil guy! because apparently this week's theme is OC FRIENDSHIP lol

I actually thought this was next week's doodle idea but then I checked my list on Monday and saw it was this week! SERENDIPITOUS INDEED!

lmels. Your lil guy. Your scrunkly. Was SO MUCH FUN to colour. EVEN WITH THE LIMITED PALETTE I HAVE! Trying to figure out how to make his jacket a lil grimey was fun! (I stared with PEELED EYES at SOO MANY KILLIANS while trying to do the beanie and the hair, I HOPE HE'S AT LE A S T RECOGNIZABLE!)

And yes I kNOW probably wine SHOULDN'T go into whatever warm chocolatey drink Jacqueline is having, but tbh, I was hella distracted by CR while colouring so it became wine instead of like, brandy or Bailey's or rum like I was ORIGINALLY intending. Although...I have seen rum similar to that reddish/amberish colour before so....maybe???

Anyway. Whatever's got them both feelin this kinda way is deffs directly Jack's fault. I'll leave that tidbit up to your imaginations 🤭🤭

Next week's scrimbly is a redraw! Then the week after is Into the Shadows spoilers! I've been working away at my second draft (which is notes tbh, really, really detailed notes) and I'm like 11 chapters in and so far, so good! It'll a bit of a CHALLENGE to write what with all the characters and the conflict of chaos versus order between the villains all while trying to make it a Charlie-centric story with a sorta uni au I guess, so basically the ride is going to be WILDIN >:)

#sometimes. you gotta write something SO FUCKING CRAZY #and that's the vibe its is giving me tbh lol #i used to have like a whole thing about people not respecting the legates?? #and its changes that?? #but i'm not so sure that's a THING anymore #i think they under estimate the legates and this deffs helps with cs denizens worrying about the next Council #so...yeah! #ANYWAY. OFF TOPIC #scrimbly jacquelines #dani speaks #dani doodles #ocs #killian/the boogeyman #cs posting #cs au #crystal springs #and uh. #shadowy musings #I SUPPOSE. since i went and did that here in the note AND tags #tsc #tsc3 #omg i also. messed around with the effects for this one post-photoing of it #and had 3 versions i couldn't decide between #so that was an ADVENTURE #my work wife tried to steal the scrimbly she liked it so much lol #i was like MA'AM THAT NEEDS TO GO ON MY F R I D G E

[sysig]

Uh oh he’s also cute (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Asgore #How dare #Lol #Some non-Handplates Asgores for funsies! Mostly for studies tbh but for funsies! Lol #Also an excuse to try out which side I prefer for the orange-blue heterochromia because I mean - I have to in general but which side! Lol #I think I did end up liking orange-blue right-left (or left-right if you're looking at him lol) but it was nice to test ♪ #That first one was actually doodled last but it's more clearly based off his overworld sprite than any of the others so #He's got an interesting hairline :0 Floofs but not very much in his face - but when he looks down! It's interesting like I said lol #I am partial to a pulled-back look just in general haha #Pulled back around his horns is fun hehe #I was also surprised with how difficult I find it to draw his horns?? I tend to make them way too thin but I'm not sure how or why?? #My hand just does whatever and it gets confused lol #It's not like horns are new to me just this shape is confusing #I'm also glad I went back and drew the angel clasp and his pauldrons properly his silhouette was very off lol #Not that he needs them all the time he looks very cute in just his dad shirt! But with his cloak they are Necessary lol #I know he's way closer to the end of the game and I'm nowhere near that but it does make me want to get back to Actually playing sometime #Having never officially met him is funny and strange lol

[juniperhillpatient]

my family watched the diary of a wimpy kid movie today & I know I make fun of people on here who get into serious fights over like. someone hating a character you like or whatever but the inverse of that is definitely when someone can’t handle that people will have human reactions to stories. at the end when the mom is dancing to rodrick’s music I said “I don’t know what makes her think it’s ok to pretend to be supportive now when she wasn’t even gonna let him perform” & my dad was like “it’s just a fictional story rose.” like. ok? guess that means I should watch it with a blank stare & have no thoughts feelings or reactions because it’s fictional lol

#he was being extra annoying tbh he also didn’t like that I like. laughed really hard at some parts #like dude it’s a comedy. sorry for laughing? #idk he just gets like that sometimes he also went off int my brother in front of my brothers friends just for using the porch fire #& yelled at my sister over literally nothing soooo. I think he was just in a mood #but I had to share this one with tumblr cause this is the reacting to movies site lol #also I loved diary of a wimpy kid haha can’t believe I’d never seen it that movie was so funny & cute #rose.txt

[coridallasmultipass]

Felt cute, might deteriorate later. [He/Him]

#feels like im in hell um #shibuya to belgium #anyway did my eyebrows perfectly but its night and ill prob sleep em off so ugh #im so tired bro i went thru my arm workout THREE times today bc of stress and anxiety #not to mention body dysphoria on top of the health concerns im trying to not think about anything rn so selfie time #OBLIGATORY: 'DISCLAIMER: i'M HI (HIGH)' TAG #but tbh not enough im still hurting with stress #could fuckin go for another round but i rly gotta try n sleep bc i get to cry abt all this in therapy tmr yaaaaay #fuckin hate that i cant treat endo lmao its like living in a cage w a tiger and not knowing when its gonna attack or give a love bite #anyway not to be a crybaby but yeah im not okay and dont know how im expected to go on lol #thought i looked good in my red light but ended up w a good orange light pic #wish i could show off my arms but its not impressive. mostly just feels nice to be like... solid lol #wish i could afford a gym #so my face will have to do for now hope i dont regret posting selfies at almost midnight lol #me #selfie #Cori.exe #Image.exe #ignore my chapped lips pls my dermatillomania has been rampant for the past like 2 days lmao i never stood a chance #hhhhh idk what to tag beyond this fence sitting whether to post or not so im just gon post and then go sleep hffff

[polaraffect]

found my old ipod... tell me why I forgot about the absolute BANGER that is Back To Earth (feat. Fall Out Boy)

#damien.txt #THE BRIGHTEST THINGS FADE THE FASTEST!! #brb putting this on my current playlists omg #why do we collectively as foblr never talk abt this song omg #anyways scrolling thru this ipod is WILLLDDDD #i had it from like. 2014-2019. long ass time. was using ipods wayyy longer than anyone else lmao #there are some. real interesting selections on here dkdgwjhdk #nothing that's weird just a lot of things that are like omg.... i forgot abt that... #it has all of the old brobecks albums like happiest nuclear winter & understanding the brobecks which like #tbh i dont even really know how to access now! i definitely dont still have the files from when #i originally put them on this ipod. but wow. banger songs #also have all of the original waterparks albums/eps lmao crazy #it also has all of my ripped from youtube panic 'singles' lmaooo like mercenary & c'mon & the live version of karma police #absolutely went hard to that cover of karma police and honestly?? still do #this is such a time capsule lol it has all of 21p's discography too which like. lol. sometimes i forget i was like that #has a lot of ripped from youtube english covers of vocaloid songs too lmaooooo real of past me #looking at this... pretty sure all the panic albums on here are t0rrented too lmaooo real of me. before i even knew #why i think this is bc under vices & virtues it has oh glory & stall me & turn off the lights just. in the track listing #this is so fun wow i love. music is so good you guys #I HAVE THE LIVE VERSION OF BANG BANG BY GREENDAY WHERE THEY SAY #'No Trump No KKK No Facist USA' THATS SO FUCKING REAL OF ME SKGDKSHDJDB #and of green day. ofc. #this is so much of a trip down memory lane #bruises and bitemarks by good with grenades..... omg......... #anyways ill stop listing things in the tags but. omg. this is so fun. #bout to go put so many of these songs i forgot abt back into my playlists djhdkshdjd

[tkbrokkoli]

just had the worst hair cut experience :(

#not fandom related #personal log stardate #was rly dysphoric abt my hair so i booked an appointment online where you can basically get your hair cut immediately #booked a men's haircut. tried to be as masculine as possible when i went there. i did Not pass as a guy. they thought i was a woman #the whole time. when i wanted to pay the hairdresser was like 'you booked an appointment for a men's cut but you're a woman right?' #she asked that bc for woman the haircuts are more expensive and for men they're cheaper. like. #for a women's haircut you have to pay 20 € more lol. anyway i felt... not much tbh. i looked her in the eye and shook my head #to indicate no im not a woman and she rang me up for a men's cut #i don't feel all that much rn either it's just. looks like i don't pass. there's not much i can do. #i cant dress any more masculine my hair is short i use mens shampoo and deodorant #its probably my high voice. also im small. it might just be my ~vibe~ im a shy kinda person idk #guess i just have to wait for T to work its magic. so far nothing has rly happened #i actually had a cold and not a voice drop but i think ever since i /can/ speak a tiny bit deeper if i try #idk if my levels are good. my next appointment is in april so i just gotta be patient and wait #what's actually most bothersome abt today is that i couldn't play it cool. if this had happened to a cis guy and he would've been asked if #he's a woman he would've laughed it off or been offended and it would've been ridiculous to him. for me it was the worst come true and it #made me extremely insecure and i feel if i had just the confidence that a cis guy has it wouldn't have made me that uncomfortable and i #could've just brushed it off #anyway i gotta focus on my exams now anyway so ill just try to brush this experience off #the hairdresser wasnt even transphobic when i shook my head no im not a woman her eyes were sort of soft but calculating like she accepted #me i think but just the fact that it happened that i do Not pass that i Do have to out myself and can't just be myself w/o being questioned #hurts #also to my mutuals ive read your comments and messages i just havent had the energy to answer yet. i love you guys <3

[violentlydefending]

riceboy sleeps fucked me UP man. fuck. legit cried like four separate times watching it i got FUCKED UP!!!!!!!!!

#AND THEN? APPARENTLY? ALL THOSE GORGEOUS LONG TAKES? THE ENTIRE STYLE OF ITS PRESENTATION? THE QUIET FOLLOWING... THE LINGERING SHOTS...... #was because the camera was the pov of the deceased father??? SHUT! UP!!!!!!!! AAUGUHUGUHGUHU #oh my GOD just thinking about that alone is getting me teary-eyed. this movie fucked me up so hard #oh my god and the lead performances....... what the FUCK!!! #i kinda went on a lil marathon recently bc of a long ride i can NOT sleep during that shit #i also watched till (cried during that too) #tár as well (also enjoyed that) #3000 years of longing (this one i found kinda mid tbh. not bad but def didn't love it all the storytelling was great but the ending kept on #going on and on and i was starting to get pissed off at how many different times it seemed like it was going to end LOL) #judas and the black messiah (FINALLY this one was on my watchlist forever. also really enjoyed this one) #and the fabelmans (also liked this one. really really REALLY loved that tiny lil bit at the end that was just so. yeah) #anyway i just. auaurughughu movies. #movie talk #contra.txt

[poorlittlevampire]

okay so. obviously i miss the store management aspect of the style savvy series, but this game is not style savvy and i wasn’t expecting it to be!! that aside i am having so much fun the gameplay loop is still just as addictive (creating outfits for other people based off of their requests) and the only thing that really is different from style savvy is the lack of management + a storyline. the game looks so good too like everything is sooooo cute and pretty and i am so beyond happy

#i really hope this is syn sophia dipping their toes back into fashion games #and they come out with another one with a bit more substance to it #but even if this ends up being a one off thing i am sosososo glad we have ir #style savvy has been the main game ive wanted on switch since the switch was announced #and u can tell that a lot of love went into making this #and i will be playing it for a very long time #:-) #regarding the story i wish they had still done /something/ #like even if it is just more about your status as an influencer i think itd be nice to have #but what can ya do #they also plan on having updates pretty regularly (which... oh no tbh) #so maybe someday theres a storyline update or smthn #but if not thats fine too #i still hate the influencer thing tho LOL everytine the games calls me that i cringe

[mydollsaregay]

picked up this lot from someone on Facebook marketplace today and i cried real tears of joy going through it which was. an experience. i’ll post some highlights in a min.

#this lot blew my expectations clear out of the water holy shit. #i went into it thinking it was going to be almost exclusively tm clothes and off brands which are not my focus when collecting #and while there was a lot o that #clearly someone had given the kid an old collection of pleasant company stuff and like. oh my god. #my posts #agblr #american girl #haul #fyi I paid 140 for this lot. which would normally be more than I’m willing to spend but it also game with a dresser I wanted and two dolls #(the second girl is stuck behind mount clothing) so I figured I would be able to recoup the extra by fixing and selling the dolls #also from the pics I thought miss redhead was Blaire lol and I really wanted her meet dress #there was also some other furniture I don’t want but it’s not ag so it would be a lot of work to try and find a buyer #tho it’s good quality wooden stuff #so I’ll probably just give it away tbh

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#the problem with a mood profile that is mostly way down with peaks of way up is that when u return to a state of: the bullshit is easy. #i dont need to sleep. i could run around in circles. i could read a million papers. what kind of loser cant manage their life? #u r like: God fucking dammit i fucked up so much stuff. y tf didnt i do yhis at the time???? its so baffling like i went from fuck just let #me sleep forever to agitated and full of evil energy to like: ok im normal im gonna do the extraction ive been putting off for months #y couldnt i have been like this last week when i should have gathered a list of my failing students to the prof to make them withdrawal? #like y tf didnt i do that?????? i mean. its kind of a suspect way to run a class tbh bc u r artificially inflating ur score #but i could have saved like 6 ppl from an F. but i mean if u r struggling its sort of on u to reach out for help. #ugh. ive not been very good at my job this semester. but to b fair my brain has been trying very hard to kill me #genuinely i had to fill out a safety sheet in therapy and then go to a ta meeting where they were like: how r yall doing #? how do u feel abt the semester? and im just like aaaaaaaAAAaaaa 🙃 #next semester i think im TAing for an online course. and im hoping its not bc i was so terrible they had to distance me from students lol #i mean. thats probably just me being paranoid but idk well see monday when i ask when the prof wants to meet before next semester #ay. its been a rougher semester than id hoped. #unrelated

[dadbots]

August… time to get spooky.

#dadbots.txt #this has been in my draft for... almost a month. Yikes. #I’ve been dissociating hella hard these past months or something. swear I don’t remember time moving this fast. maybe it’s just me tbh. #idk what to say about July other than… boring? not much happened and I don’t really remember it if I’m honest. just. mm. shrugs. #best way to describe it LOL #been sleeping a LOT lately and I think it’s fatigue again. was it like anything before? no. not at that rate (yet) but just. #where you wanna sleep and sleep and sleep type of fatigue. you never feel rested and just gotta sleep it off kinda. #just one of those moments yknow. #it sucks. all I’m doing is letting the days pass me by and ‘missing out’ on living life when I could be enjoying it. but I lost interest - #- in doing so for months - years now due to personal health matters. And whaddya know - it came back again. after months of healing. #I'm pretty pissed as it does feel like a slap in the face. but you win some - you lose some. Gonna try and fight through it. #I wrote something at the beginning of august but that got deleted. Had a breakdown and thought huh. what a great way to start the month - #and now it's almost september. Just like that. What a month it's been. Stuck on what else to say but that really. #don't want to keep talking about depressing stuff as that's what i used to do and realized hey. maybe you should stop doing that so often #and not use it so casually in humor and/or stuff. Even though I reblog vents here n' all. but yknow. #maybe it is hypocritical. but that's not the point. Just want to reflect and see if i've changed since coming back to the web after a year. #not like it's going bad. just wished this year was a bit more optimistic. Last year was rough & i'm afraid this year will be another repeat #though I did come out to a family member this month and that was like a punch to the gut. Considering my status with them and all. #won't get into that. for now let's just say i'm not too close with them. An impulsive choice on my end but hey. it went well. #and that's what matters tbh. My younger self would've thought i was actually insane. like to even DO that? really? #shocking. I'm still not over that moment. Probably one of my biggest achievements this year. #I'll update this if anything else comes to mind. none of this make sense and that's ok. clearing my mind right now. #let's see what september has in store for me. Hopefully it'll get better as things slow down w/ winter on its way. #hope y'all enjoyed your summer. 🖤🤘🏽