REVERSE TROPE WRITING PROMPT BY @out-of-jams
ACCIDENTALLY KIDNAPPING A MAFIA BOSS
In Tucker's defense, he thought he was doing someone a favor. A life saving favor, in fact.
"What the fuck-!” The red helmeted guy yelped as a deceptively strong Tucker yanked him onto the bike and sped away. Before Tucker could explain, the GIW agents behind them got in a lucky shot and hit the helmeted liminal with a strong blast to the head.
Clearly, his gear wasn’t equipped with anti-ecto protections, because the guy slumped over on Tucker’s arms. This was bad, because Tucker now had to maneuver about 230 pounds of Gotham muscle while speeding away from government agents. He flicked on the jammer so they couldn’t track his and red helmets’s ecto signature.
“STOP!”
“Ah, shit.” Tucker cursed as he somehow managed to gather up red-helmet’s body and stabilize the bike. “C’mon, Tuck, you can do this.”
Blasts of anti-ecto tech slammed into buildings around him. Luckily, Gotham was used to this kind of shit so people just moved out of the way before going back to their day. Tucker wove around traffic, trying to lure the agents into slamming face first into some signposts.
“Stop damaging the local infrastructure!” Tucker yelled back at them, speeding up.
“WELL REIMBURSE THE PEOPLE AND THE CITY LATER! TELL US WHERE PHANTOM IS!!”
“Over my dead body, you jerks!” Tucker took a sharp right, catching red helmet before the man could slip off. He sped up and took the ramp downwards, heart beating loudly in his ears as he strained his senses to figure out- ah, they took the ramp upwards. Good. Now, all he has to do is bring red helmet back to home base.
“Oh my god. I kidnapped him,” Tucker groaned, slapping at his face before quickly placing his hands back on the handle bar once the bike teetered over with red helmet’s weight. “I’m a criminal. Oh my god.”
Then, as he found his way back, “…Well, it’s not like I wasn’t a criminal before, with the whole resisting arrest thing.”
——
Tucker dumped the red helmet liminal onto the couch of their shared apartment and went to take a shower. When he got out ten minutes later, he found Danny and Sam staring at the helmet guy. Tucker pushed up his glasses (after letting them defog from the shower) and greeted them.
“Hey, guys! I found him while I was running away from Agent L and J.”
“You okay?” Danny asked, eyes immediately flicking over Tucker for injuries.
“Yeah, I’m good. They’re horrible shots.”
“I thought Danny was the one who brought home strays but you…?” Sam commented, arms crossed and a purple painted nail tapping at her arm. “Wait. Isn’t this… that crime lord? What was his name?”
“Red Hood?” Danny offered, turning back to look at the guy on their couch.
Tucker paled. “Oh, no.”
Guns? Check.
Red Helmet? Check.
Bat-Symbol? Check.
Shit.
They collectively stared at the guy in silence.
“…Tucker,” Sam slowly said. “Did you accidentally kidnap a crime lord?”
“Hey, I didn’t want him to get killed! He’s liminal! Even more than us, except for Danny.” Tucker grumbled. “Man, this is why I leave the hero-ing to Danny. I do one good thing and suddenly I have a crime lord on my couch.”
“My couch,” Sam corrected, as she was the one that furnished their apartment.
“What do we do now?”
“Eat dinner,” Tucker said. “I’m famished.”
Sam nodded. “Wait for him to wake up and hope he doesn’t shoot us the moment he wakes up. Then, we explain.”
Danny grabbed all the visible guns he could see. Tucker went to start dinner. Sam supervised, because her boys were idiots and now she had a crime lord in her apartment.
——
Jason groaned, head swimming in a sea of dull throbbing pain as his eyes fluttered open.
Then he remembered he was abducted, and bolted up right. He paused as a series of quick observations made its way to his consciousness.
One. He’s not tied up. Weird, because everyone knows that he’s a weapon even without his weapons.
Two. His weapons were right there, just in reach.
Three. He was surrounded by teenagers and/or young adults who were all scrolling along on their phones.
“Oh, hey, he’s awake! Hi!” The Wayne bait said, electric blue eyes fixing itself on Jason. “Were you aware you died?”
Jason went rigid, hundreds of way to-
“Danny!” A scolding tone cut of Jason’s immediate panic. Two couch pillows slammed into Danny’s face, courtesy of goth girl and nerdy but strong.
“Dude, why do you start with that? Why are you like this?” His… possible kidnapper? asked, exasperatedly flinging his hands into the air as he rolled his eyes.
Goth girl scowled. “Boys. Crime lord, couch, remember?”
“Hey, in my defense, I died too!”
And that- as Jason remained dumbfounded in this circle of tomfoolery- was what snapped Jason out of his daze.
“You what?” He rasped out.
And when he saw them open their mouths at the same time, Jason just knew his headache was going worse.
——
Tucker, effortlessly plucking the actual red hood from the streets: and I whoop-
Jason, whose type is strong, nerdy, and tall: *heart eyes* *but not really because he’s unconscious*
——
Sam: “this is my boyfriend Danny and our other boyfriend Tucker.”
Jason enters chat:
Sam: “this is my boyfriend Danny and our other boyfriend Tucker and his boyfriend, the Red Hood.”
——
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I love all your kyman hc's so much!!!!😭❤ I just need to hear more, so here are my questions: if kyman got married how would they act around each other? And do you think they'd adopt kids and if yes: what would they name them? And would they raise them jewish or christian or both?
Aaahhh I know there are too many questions I'm sorry 😭😭
Don’t apologize, I love talking about kyman :D
Regardless of context, the core of their dynamic is: Cartman is the instigator, Kyle reacts, a little back and forth, escalate the issue to Nth degrees of insanity, Kyle lands the final blow. Though sometimes, depending on the issue, Kyle lands the last punch thinking he’s won, only for Cartman to win the war last minute. Another way the show’s mixed things up, is that Kyle’s victory is undermined either by South Park itself, or Cartman. I see their marriage as an opportunity to expand their unique dynamic and introduce new plotlines/ jokes that couldn’t be done if they were still kids.
I see Cartman taking Randy’s place as the adult that’s always up to no good, the fixture of South Park’s weirdness. self serving hijinks flare up just about every week. Meanwhile, the Sharon (or straight man) to offset that cannot be anyone else but Kyle. This time however, unlike the marshes, and perhaps most couples in South Park, the Brofloski’s are truly in love. That’s kinda the joke. The couple that started out insulting each other and trying to kill each other on multiple occasions end up in the happiest relationship. I see them fitting nicely among the pantheon of sitcom couples— Mitchel and Cameron, Marge and Homer, Ralph and Alice, Gomez and Morticia. Their relationship, in Trey fashion, pays homage to and in the same breath, mocks those classic couples.
TLDR, Their dynamic is in tact, it’s just evolved to a new label. Instead of sort of friends-ish, they’re a couple. They’re still loud, obsessed with each other, fight over issues, hang out and share similar tastes. Only this time they got rings on their fingers. And if they don’t fistfight, how do they deal with their classic arguments? Well, like any sensible american couple, of course! they fuck each other’s brains out! ( just kidding. I have this vision of Cartman doing the most outrageous shit and Kyle chasing him offscreen in anger, Cartman shouting “domestic abuse domestic abuse!”)
I’m not sure what they’d name their kids. Does it matter? I do know what personalities I’d like them to have though— the 1st, their oldest, is outgoing, entitled, bossy, manipulative, a performative people pleaser, makes everyone’s problems their responsibility, and is quick witted. (A 2w3) Much like Eric, they are exceptionally charismatic and love being in the limelight. And like Kyle, they love getting involved in the lives of others, seen as helpful. The 2nd child is less outspoken, prefers to keep opinions to themselves, a dispassionate observer. ( poster child for 8w9) Like Eric, they’re materialistic, and prone to laziness. Still, they are an intellectual like Kyle, and far more principled in comparison to their sibling/Eric. They’re probably the most capable and dangerous in the family. They don’t shoot themselves in the foot like Cartman, and they don’t fight against the currents of South Park like Kyle. If they wanted to, they could take over the world and succeed where the Brofloskis failed. They just don’t care though lol.
I could never, ever see them as a two religion household. Yeah, Cartman has been portrayed as a bigoted Christian (or in his words, “[used] Christianity as an excuse to be a piece of shit”), but carrying that extremity to adulthood isn’t as funny. I don’t know how to articulate that other than, many extreme right wingers on twitter weren’t able to read Cartman’s bigotry in Cupid Ye as hyperbolic and instead took it as fact, and praised the stuff he whispered into Tolkien’s ears. His actions in Cissy were recently trending and was seen as heroic and like, justification why trans ppl can’t use whatever bathrooms they want. You can’t escalate the crazy stuff from real life anymore— it’s become reality. So the funniest thing to do, is either personify it as something else or, run in the opposite direction. If anything, PC has shown us that it’s funnier that the very same kid who once belittled Judaism in fact, became devoutly Jewish and proceeded to rub it in everyone’s faces rather than him ending up as some evil businessman. You rob bigots the chance to idolize Cartman, but give Cartman the freedom to hone his brand of idiocy on other things. So! Kyle slaps the antisemitism outta him, they get married, bam. They are a Jewish family.
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Man, the contrast of M9 getting Molly back in the form of Kingsley, versus BH potentially getting Laudna back in the form of Matilda? With tm9, Kingsley was quite possibly the kindest way they could have gotten any semblance of their friend back. It had been a year without him and none of his friends existed as he would have remembered them anymore, and he would have been faced with the struggle of trying to find his place in their group again, coming back a contrast to the person they built him up as while he was dead.
And furthermore, he came back into a time of newly-won peace, after they had managed to defeat the threats that had been building up since his death. They got him back specifically because of their success, and gave this fresh-memoried person a world ahead of them to reclaim themself the way molly never truly had.
But Matilda? If the soul they pluck from the afterlife is the girl who died and stayed dead on the tree, instead of the one who spent 30 years living in the aftermath of it, they’re essentially dragging up a girl who has long-since been at rest, to thrust her into the deep end of the biggest threat any of them have ever faced, and inevitably expecting her to be able to swim and keep up. A girl who died without having any grasp of her powers, nor life experience beyond what she knew at the outskirts of the briarwood’s rule. Plucked up and dropped into a group of strangers who are dealing with some pretty intense grief, and the weight of the world on their shoulders.
Laudna has, of course, gone through a lot. There’s no reality in which she isn’t deeply fucked up by what happened before, upon, and after this second death. Reckoning with the sudden loss of Delilah over her shoulders and what it means for her going forward is going to be a journey, but she’ll have her family by her side through all of it. She’ll have the knowledge she’s gained through 30 years of unliving and a grasp on what’s at stake in the world she’s coming back to. The world she seems to want to come back to, as shaken as she is.
If the soul they reach out to is Matilda, there’s no guarantee that anything they could say will appeal to a stranger that’s been dead and at rest for decades. And even if they do, i can’t help but feel like uprooting and forcing a soul they don’t know into a life/burden they have no way out of is also one of the crueler outcomes in all of this.
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which is also why I think - in a vengeance shri’iia au where she ends up as astarion’s spawn and he inevitably gets tired of her bc he has all the power in the world and he can have anything and anyone he wants and everything is his for the taking - when she inevitably turns from his ‘eternal lover’ to just his ‘first spawn’ - she will be sooo amy gone girl about it.
like she’s devoting her oath and her entire life to him, he doesn’t get to change that. he’s not allowed to change even. she will do everything in her power and she will even set fire to them both if he tried to change. like he’s making a mistake that she’s rectifying! she lives to serve, and if he doesn’t want her servitude that means there’s something that’s not right and she will personally correct that. like he doesn’t need to worry about anything ofc - worrying doesn’t look good on him let her fix what needs to be fixed. she is such a good lover after all. it doesn’t compute to her that she’s going to be replaced. like it literally doesn’t make sense, not when he promised her eternity. so when he starts looking at someone else, when he starts to favor someone else and lavish them with his attentions and praise she will get rid of them because he’s getting distracted! and he doesn’t need distractions! and when he gets mad at her she will forgive his transgressions and soothe that anger away - he doesn’t need anymore wrinkles. and she will know about every little lie he says and hold them close to her chest then recite it back to him when she gets rid of another one of his new favourites. and when he tries to kill her she’ll do the same thinking it’s some game or courtship - this is how it was back in menzoberranzan after all! the fact that he was willing to learn her traditional courtship is so sweet 🥰. and maybe she’ll scare him even, so he can learn what fear is again. it’s a good kind of fear bc she’s showing what kind of person she could be so it would be dumb of him to throw her away.
but the thing is! she’s operating out of love and devotion! and they have eternity together! and there’s something sooo sicko yes about how ascended astarion’s first spawn - his first creation - being something that he will eventually resent and fears. bc it would be so much easier if she hated him like how he hated cazador. but she doesn’t. she’s deranged and in love and so obsessive about that love to the point where it literally can not be changed - and he can’t change it or manipulate it. what was once useful to him became a detriment. their love turning so sick and rotten, like a leftover apple, and she becomes a nuisance that he can’t get rid of, and he’s stuck with that nuisance for eternity. he eventually realises what a mistake it was seducing her back then when they had those tadpoles in their heads, when they had that strange freedom. like if he knew things would turn out like this, and she was actually this kind of person, maybe he would’ve done things differently but instead he’s stuck with her for eternity.
and I do think he’ll try to kill her lmfao I mean he’s a vampire lord and she’s just a fucking spawn so he’ll get rid of her once he gets bored and annoyed, but she thinks it’s some game between them so she’ll try to get him too - not kill him ofc but just close enough to scare him and remind him that she does bite even before the vampire teeth. I mean before him, she was literally a drow high priestess’/matron mother’s trained hound.
anyway I really love the idea of them being miserable with each other lmfaoo and I think she will be so miserable as a spawn actually and the moment when she potentially gets replaced something is gonna break inside of her bc it’ll just like before when she broke her oath. but she won’t be that bewildered and confused girl again, nope. she’s not going to accept it this time, she refuses! she doesn’t get to be the only miserable one, he doesn’t get to win..!!!
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