#I know they’re both technically in the bi/pan umbrella | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bisexualspongebob · 3 years

Text

(long post)

Honestly from one bisexual to another—a lot of u just need to step back, take a deep breath, and chill. I thought it was important to have some sort of civil discussion regarding bi/pan/microlabel discourse, but people just did not know how to be civil and made it into a war.

Listen—neither bi ppl nor pan ppl are a monolithic group. The Bi Manifesto is not a bi-ble for all bisexuals to follow, it is just historical evidence that bisexuality by definition was never exclusive or regressive. The manifesto itself even says that not all bisexuals use the word “bisexual” and everyone has a unique relationship to their sexuality and that includes usage of labels. Yes technically all the different microlabels mean bisexual, but people can and have always been allowed to use what’s right for them, and that is not a personal attack on you or bisexuals as a whole.

And also pan people are not all the same, they’re a diverse group like bisexuals. Yes I get frustrated too when people use the biphobic and transphobic comparisons of bi vs. pan definitions and I think that’s what started this fight in the first place, but that’s not representative of pansexuals as a whole. You do know that a lot of people use bi and pan interchangeably? And a lot of pan people do show support and solidarity to bisexuals. And a lot of pan people speak out against biphobia. And biphobia affects them because at the end of the day we all experience attraction to more than one genders.

We can call out biphobia and transphobia without going into personal attacks or generalization of a whole group. If people want to use a term they resonate with then just let them, that’s cool. And if someone says “I identify as pan bc unlike bisexuals I’m attracted to nonbinary people too” you should just call them out for saying something biphobic, that’s it. If that’s how they choose to feel that’s on them, but that’s not representative of pansexuality as a whole. There are a lot of bisexuals who use their label to excuse their transphobia (“I’m bi because I’m not attracted to trans people”) and they’re not representative of bisexuality as a whole.

And yes it is shitty to see when mainstream media portrays pan as the “woke” version of bi, but you should call them out on the biphobia. It’s perfectly possible to make pansexual characters without throwing bisexuals under the bus, and it won’t do anything to try to “ban” pansexual representation. The more we destigmatize bisexuality the more the root issue gets solved.

And people will say “then what’s the difference?” and honestly who cares about the differences? Some people use pan for any reason they want. Dissecting the differences doesn’t help anyone. Both bi and pan are attracted to all genders. I see pan people who have preferences and pan people who do take gender as a factor into their attraction. So there’s no point in going through mental gymnastics to differentiate them. They can coexist and be synonyms.

And if we can customize our own gender then why not sexuality? If you don’t want to use bi then that’s not a problem. The only problem is if you see bisexuality as an archaic and prejudiced term, be respectful of other labels especially if they’ve been around for much longer. But if you acknowledge bi for what it is but still want to use another term then you deserve that respect. Some terms like lesbian though are not an umbrella term and that should be respected, but do what u want that also respects the boundary of certain terms.

And like that’s all I have to really say. I know I went through an anti-pan phase for a while but my issue didn’t lie within the people themselves, it lied more in the fact that a lot of people used the term as a reason to stigmatize and bastardize bisexuality. Of course you’re gonna get defensive when people say bad things about your label, that’s what I did. But I had an open mind the whole time and was willing to listen to all voices. Please don’t dedicate your mental energy to changing the mind of strangers online. Don’t dedicate your mental energy into trying to dismantle a community that has already cultivated. You will find it much more fulfilling to find solidarity with them. Because there are so many pansexual, omnisexual, any other-sexual people who fight for bisexuals, feel solidarity with bisexuals, support bisexuals, and also identify as bisexual.

At the end of the day, experience will always trump labels. The root of every issue regarding biphobia is and will always be cishets. Let’s all fight biphobia itself regardless of who it comes from and remember that we are not each other’s enemies and oppressors.

And if you actually read through all of this then thank you and have a good one 🏳️‍🌈

#bi/pan discourse #thats all i have left to say i’m actually done for real giving more energy to this #feel free to rb if u wish

21 notes · View notes

talking-bigender · 4 years

Text

Being Bigender- what it’s like.

I know there are already posts about being bigender and what it means, but I wanted to make my own so I could share some of my knowledge and experiences on being bigen.

Bigender: The Definition

Bigender is a gender identity described as being two genders- either simultaneously [both genders at the same time], fluidly [switching between the two] or partially [sort of like being a percentage/amount of each]. It falls under the nonbinary umbrella and is one of the many multigender identities out there.

Q- Do the two genders have to be "Girl and Boy"?

Absolutely not. This is probably the most common bigender-related misconception out there. A bigender preson could be a combination of a binary gender and nonbinary gender [example: girl and agender] or two nonbinary genders [example: androgyne and neutrois]. Bigender is not defined as only being man and woman.

Difference between Bigender and Genderfluid

Bigender and genderfluid overlap in definitions/experiences and can be used simultaneously as labels if you wish- but the main difference is that bigender is just defined as being any two genders, and it’s not a requirement to be fluid between them. Meanwhile, Genderfluid is shifting between multiple genders, and don't have to be limited to two.

Q- If you’re bigender, are you trans? Or half-trans or something?

Y’know, that’s just up to the bigender/nonbinary individual to decide. I don’t consider myself trans, and for a while I didn’t even consider myself nonbinary. I’m not cis, and I relate a lot to transgender experiences- so sure, I could technically consider myself trans. But it’s not something that appeals to me as a label, so I don’t really use it. You can just be you, and you don’t have to be a part of the trans community or even in the nonbinary community if you don’t want to.

You can also have surgery/ name change/ go on hormones if you’re bigender, it’s alllll up to you.

Presentation

There is no “right” way to present when you’re bigender. You do not have to look/dress like what is expected of both of your genders, or switch between clothing or whatever. Clothing doesn’t dictate your identity in any way. It’s just fabric. Wear it however you want!

Q- Do you have to be 50% / half of both genders to be bigender?

Nope. If the genders are not felt simultaneously or fluidly and are instead felt partially each, then the metaphorical “percentage” can be anything. A bigender person may feel 60% one gender and 40% the other, or someone else may be more 70% and 30%, or even 1% and 99%, etc.

If the amount of gender experienced can be at any percent, what’s to stop me from calling myself demigender instead of bigender?

[Demigender: feeling partially, but not fully a gender. Common labels are demigirl, demiboy, etc.]

The truth is, similar to how [bi]sexual/romantic, [poly]sexual/romatic and [pan]sexual/romantic are similar, these labels overlap and it’s really up to the person to choose which label they prefer.

ALSO. Demigenders don’t necessarily only experience two genders.

Q- Do you have to have separate sets of pronouns for each gender, or multiple names?

Nope. This isn’t a requirement. You can be bigender and have as many or as little names/sets of pronouns as you wish, and they don’t have to “match” your genders either. A boy/girl bigender could use only one name and use they/them, or an agender/boy bigender could be using two names and she/her + he/him, or neopronouns, or etc. The combinations are endless, so it’s up to the individual to figure out what they want.

And again, names do not have to “correspond” with your genders- by which i mean you don’t have to have a “boy” name or a “girl” name or a neutral name unless that’s what you want.

They/Them

They/them (at least in the English language) are considered THE neutral pronouns and the go-to for anyone. And they usually are, there’s nothing wrong with that- they’re good to use on strangers, people you don’t know the pronouns of, or people who just prefer those pronouns! However, I’d also like to point out that they are not applicable to those who you know don’t use them/ don’t have them listed as their set of pronouns. It’s not a good alternative to someone’s neopronouns, or multiple/fluxuating pronouns, or just to use on anyone who doesn’t want them used. Just don’t.

This applies to every gender identity, not just bigender.

Q- If I’m bigender, how does that affect my other orientations? Should I consider myself bi, gay, etc?

Unfortunately, currently popular lgbt+ terms [especially in relation to sexuality or romantic orientation] are not really suited for nonbinary people, so there isn’t really a good answer to this- you’ll just have to figure out what sounds best to you. Feel free to use pre-existing terminology, even if it isn’t 100% “accurate”, or just make your own!

What it’s like being bigender

Well for starters, no two bigender people are the same, nor have the same experiences. I am probably the most stereotypical example of a bigender person- I’m a boy/girl, I use he/him and she/her pronouns, and I even have a “masculine” name and a “feminine” name. As much as I’d like to share alternative bigender stories, I can only tell you mine, so keep in mind that this isn’t the universal truth for all of us.

For me, I’m simultaneously both of my genders- I’m not partially one or the other, nor am I fluid between the two. At all times, I feel 100% girl and 100% boy. “Isn’t that the same as androgyne?” Well, no. In the form of a visual, pretend there are two tinted lenses [say, yellow and blue] and stacking them on top of each other makes green, while still being separate physically. Androgyne would be more like just having a green tinted lens, without needing to stack anything.

Anyway, how’s it like? My insight to being bigender in the real world is well, uneventful, as I don’t pass, am extremely closeted and don’t intend to come out anytime soon. Most of my experiences happen internally. I sometimes get annoyed that people use only one set of pronouns for me, because although I don’t mind he or she, I would still prefer for both to be used at about the same amount. I feel comfortable around most gendered terms, although I lean towards masculine [ex: king, brother, etc]. I get uncomfortable when people consider me/refer to me as one gender [ex: calling me just a boy/girl, repeatedly]. I do have dysphoria, both social and physical. I plan on getting surgery someday. I discovered I was bigender sophmore year of highschool. That’s roughly my experience.

Q- How can I write a bigender character?

Read everything above, so at least you have some basic knowledge about the identity. If you have additional questions, my ask box/pms are always open. I’ll be glad to help anyone out with anything bigender related really.

Some other multigenders that are similar/relate to Bigender [for those who may want to look into them]

Trigender- Like bigender, but experiencing three genders instead of two

Polygender- experiencing multiple genders but not all.

Pangender- experiencing all genders [this however, does not include genders that aren’t within your experiences/ you’re able to claim, such as genders that belong to indigenous groups/ other cultures]

Demigender- feeling partially but not totally a gender.

Genderfluid- being fluid between genders [can be any genders, any amount of them and for any amount of time]

If you feel like I need to change anything about this post, then I’m open to suggestions/criticism!

#bigender #lgbt+#nonbinary #transgender #multigender #bigender masterpost

193 notes · View notes

ace-thinks · 4 years

Note

Hi 👋 I'm a teen trying to figure out my sexuality and I have a question. Is it possible to be both asexual and demisexual? I've read that demisexual is under the asexual umbrella, but I'm confused. Thanks for answering :)

Hi! So the answer is yes and no. Demisexuality is a form of asexuality but it isn’t asexuality in and of itself. Being asexual means you don’t experience sexual attraction so technically you can’t be ace and demi at the same time. However, some demi people call themselves ace as a shorthand or if they’re in an environment where it feels like it would be easier to go by “ace” than demisexual.

It’s kind of like how bi/pan people sometimes call themselves gay depending on the time and place. However, just like how a gay person wouldn’t really call themselves bi/pan, someone who identifies as asexual wouldn’t really call themselves demisexual.

So even though a demisexual person might call themselves ace at times, they’re still demisexual (not asexual and demisexual at the same time). Just like how a bi person who calls themselves gay is still bi (not bi and gay at the same time.)

That explanation felt a little convoluted. Let me know if you need me to clarify anything!

#ace asks #demisexuality #demisexual #asexual #ace #asexuality

54 notes · View notes

ayy-spec · 3 years

Text

Anything to Add?

The final question in this survey was a write-in section for people to leave any additional comments. 113 people responded.

Important/Particularly Interesting Comments

• I hope this goes well for you because you seem nice and if you have any advice for new to the community 15 year olds like me, don't be afraid to share because I'm trying to embrace my sexuality as much as possible but it can be hard when I don't know where to go or turn to to find what I'm supposed to do and where to ask questions and just fully embrass this part of me and it can be hard when I don't even know many if any aspecs so representation is great and it is helpful to hear your experiences and how you handle certain parts, so just keep doing what your doing because it is making a difference [note: 🥺🥺😭]

• i often consider myself more as just aroace rather than aro and ace seperately so i prefer seeing the blue and orange aroace flag over the individual aro and ace flags

• I don't really shorten my identity often with aroace, only when im feeling very romance repulsed and its been a while since I felt romantic attraction. I am a pan-demiromantic asexual. My pan label makes me feel more connected to the lgbt+ community bc it feels like my nonbinary and intersex status doesn't count either. I know I belong in the queer community, but the lgbt+ community is so sexual orientation focused.

• Thank you for having a wide variety of labels to choose from in the options!! I don't see the term aegoromantic very often on things, it feels nice to be known I guess haha

• Thank you for this, i recently started thinking about being in arospec and it was so relieving, all this time i thought something was wrong or maybe i was broken. I'm still trying to learn more about it, and I'm grateful for people willing to teach and help

• didn't realize I hadn't experienced sexual attraction until I finally did and was like "OH, no wonder all my other relationships felt like I was playing pretend"

• I dont often tell people I'm gray aroace. Not because of shame or it not being "as important" (I'm a gay trans dude) but I think because I just feel its a very intimate part of myself, as well as my romanticism and sexuality (in terms of like asexuality) feeling as though it doesn't always need a label. I'm fine just being myself most of the time, a lot of labels can be tricky for myself I think. I'm happy the label exists nonetheless though because Its nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like this.

• I'm queer! But if I'm getting down to the bones of it, I'm pan/ace. Still relearning how to be proud of that, after The Grand Clusterfuck years back.

• even though I would be considered to have an alloromantic orientation, alloace isn't really a term I feel any strong connection or attachment to

• i'd like to add that i do consider myself alloaro and use that label openly but i'd also not consider myself 100% allosexual. i'm questioning my sexuality but even if i do end up feeling more solidly ace-spec i'd still use the alloaro label

• Idk who else does this or if this is interesting enough to write down, but I thought I would! I use Aroace as a label. Other, smaller labels inside that would probably fit me better! Aroace feels too big, like it doesn't *really* define exactly who I am. But at the same time, I prefer using it because more people know what Aroace means (at least compared to myrromantic and myrsexual). I use Aroace so the public can define me. I don't typically use it around my close friends 'cause they already know my idiosyncrasies and where I really am. They already made their own definitions for me, so I don't have to make one for them!

• I'm still figuring myself out, so I leave myself at the blanket terms and hopefully everything'll work out in the end

The rest of the responses are below:

Comments Alerting Me About Typos (that I was then able to resolve)

• There's a typo in your "sexual orientation labels" question, because you have Aroflux listed and not Aceflux, but I didn't want to confuse things so I put Aceflux (which I do use) under Other. I also am polysexual (I flux between polysexual and asexual but I am always aegosexual) but didn't know if I should but it under Other anywhere since it's not an acespec label. I consider my polysexuality tied to me being aego/aceflux though, which is why I mention it here.

• the sexual orientations options are the same of the romantic ones ( for example, there's arovague and arospike in the sexual cathegory)

People Clarifying/Expounding Upon Their Own Identity/Experiences

· to clarify: i'm unsure whether or not i am demi or aceflux; so i use graysexual since both labels technically fall under that as an umbrella term.

• I’m still a confused gorl and I really only know that I don’t like sex it sexual acts but I do like romantic and sensual acts

• Sex/romance repulsed and I have aesthetic attraction

• I'm also animesexual and fictosexual (and romantic I guess but I don't like using the SAM for myself).

• I have never seen most of these labels, haha, I expect one of them is the one I always forget that's for being aro due to past trauma but people always assume it's romantic/sexual trauma so I don't use it and thus have forgotten it...but that's the essay I'm not usually up for writing: was biromantic but then had several awful life events on top of each other and had a complete breakdown and have been aro since. Unclear if it's permanent but it's been 14 years now. [note: I believe this person is thinking of caedromantic]

• I tend to use the word ace more than asexual because it's shorter, but I don't feel more favorably about one than the other.

• i can't tell the difference between platonic vs romantic attraction, and am unsure if people i have "liked" in the past was romantic, platonic, or a fake stemming from peer pressure.

• Also Gender-Neutral/Agender

• I’m gray-aro but identify more with being biromantic even though I know I’m aro-spec. As for sexual orientation, I’m just completely ace xD

• The fact I'm still trying to figure out my gender makes it harder to pinpoint exactly what my orientations are :( but I usually say I'm queer, and if it's safe: Bi Ace, and if I can get more specific: biromantic grey-asexual

• I also use a platonic label (biplatonic). I use it not in a friendship way, but more like in a QPR way.

• Thank you for doing this! My identity on the aro/ace spectrums has shifted a lot over the years and while I’ve just settled on aroace and queer for the most part, this community is so diverse and under appreciated. People who find joy in/identify with micro-identities are valid and deserve representation!

• I'm still figuring out my romantic orientation but it's looking less allo by the day lmao

• My romantic label is very fluid, but in terms of sexual labels, very sex repulsed Asexual

• Content with just Aspec cause it's difficult to pinpoint anything but cool with both asexual/ace and aromantic/aro

• I think of my romantic orientation as halfway between aromantic and homoromantic

• I'm a polyamorous ace, if there'd be a way to include that sometimes that'd be neat :)

• I am still questioning my identity

• I used to identify as 100% ace but now I have no idea other than that I seem to be pan-ace in some way shape or form so my identity is ???people???

• Sex/romance repulsed and I have aesthetic attraction

• to clarify: i'm unsure whether or not i am demi or aceflux; so i use graysexual since both labels technically fall under that as an umbrella term.

Queer Rights

• Trans rights, baybee 🤠🦂

• I just hope a-spec and aro-spec people will experience less negativity and hate this year <3

• Aspec rights!!

• aspec rights, baby

People Being Nice to Me (I appreciated this thank you everyone!!)

· :)

• Have a good day

• Uhhh, cool survey, nice to see a lot of labels.... good job! Nothing I have to add, it was great

• Have fun chief, thank you for your work

• Thank you for creating!

• thanks for the survey! I don't know too many aspec in person so I love participating in things like this about the ace/aro community!

• Thank you for what you’re doing

• just hi :)

• thanks!!

• I really love your blog! Reading your posts always makes me happy :) [note: thank you!]

• Good luck, have a nice day !

• I hope you're having a good day :)

• you're lived and valid af!! have a great day!!!

• Thank you for all your hard work i really appreciate it ☺️

• Drink some water Right Now OP

• Nope, :> hope the best for you.

• Cool survey, 10/10 would survey again.

• 💛

• Have a nice day uwu

• Nope! Have a nice day!

• Thank you for making pride flag edits! They're really nice! [note: thank you!!]

• nope, but this is really cool!!

• ❤️

• Have a good day.

• I think this survey idea is super cool! Definitely a great way to see what sort of aspec people are on tumblr :)

• You are doing the lords work

• Thank you for asking us.

• good luck!

• This is really cute idea :)

• I hope you're having a nice day!

• Good luck in your endevours!

• Thank you for making our community visible!

• Have a good day :3

• Have a good day!!

• Keep doing great stuff!

• Thank you for all the positivity I get from your blog! It's super helpful, keep it up :) [note: thank you!!]

• thanks for doing this. recognition is always nice

• Have fun <3

• Lots of love 💛

• This is a cool project, thanks for doing it and good luck! :)

People Saying They Love Me (and I love you, random a-specs)

· i love you OP!!!!!

• love you, hope you have a great day

An A-Spec Person Being Rude to Other A-Specs

• If you enjoy sex with your romantic partner then you are not asexual

A Person Who Is Not A-Spec Being Rude To A-Specs

• sweetie im sorry that you're so insecure that you feel like you have to make up new identities to feel better about yourself. if you are a lesbian or bisexual please know that you are welcome in the community, but other than that making thousands of microlabels like this makes a huge joke out of what was once an important and respected group. nobody takes us seriously anymore because of this shit. does labelling your identity like this really help you with anything? demisexual and fraysexual and all this are just fancy words for normal human feelings that everyone has. there is no need to microlabel it.

Other

· [variations of “no” (12)]

• not sure that helps lmao but still hope it does. all the best

• Axolotls (or as I like to call them, asexulotls) are amazing and I love them [Note: the man in question]

• Sorry, I can't remember the names of any blogs that do edits

• Ok random but the colors of the aro/ace flag? The blue and orange one? They’re gorgeous.

• I'm not so sure if I should use the aroace flag, I feel comfortable using both aro and ace flags, but I don't like the colors for the aroace flag :c [note: these are in chronological order, it’s a total coincidence that these comments are together]

• Curious to see where the survey goes

• It would be cool if you could also do some aplatonic-spectrum edits!

• there were fully half of the terms on that list that i had never even seen before. like, everything below litho down to no label was entirely new to me. at some point i will look into those! (but not right now, my brain is full enough at the moment)

• actually had to look up the majority of these orientations. Thank you for the opportunity to learn!

• Gonna reblog and follow and hopefully learn a bit more, about others and myself

Note: The only comment that is not listed in order is the first comment, which I put at the top because I found it the most important. It’s so important that kids and teens have space to explore their identity and learn about themselves. The reason I made this blog in the first place was because I was 19 and working on figuring out my gender and sexuality. Now that I’m a bit older and understand things better, I’m so glad that I’m able to help people in this way.

I make it a point to be very openly queer in my life and at work because I need LGBTQ+ people, especially youths, to know that we’re here. I’m lucky that I live somewhere that I can be visibly queer and speak about it openly. We are everywhere, and there’s more of us than you think!

Something that I really like about the comments at the top is that they show how diverse we are, and how people use words differently. Some people feel like they’re more aroace than aromantic and asexual separately, and others consider their romantic and sexual orientations to be completely different things.

I definitely relate to the person who identifies are myrromantic and myrsexual with their friends but just says aroace when speaking with people they don’t know as well. I believe a lot of people use different words depending on who they’re speaking with.

#survey results #aphobia cw

1 note · View note

rozukoneko785-blog · 5 years

Text

My lgbt opinions (and some facts)

(TW: q slur)

Microlabels aren't inherently harmful; I think they're great for helping someone define their identity to themself.

However, I don't think microlabels need to be how you explain your gender to someone. (ie. I'm nonbinary. In my head, I define myself as an androgyne, being pretty much right between male and female. But I always tell people I'm just nonbinary)

Neopronouns aren't needed. Just use they.

Pronouns ARE gendered. Maybe, at one point, pronouns meant different things (I think boy was just used to describe any child, regardless of gender. Feel free to fact check that). But, in current day, pronouns are gendered! That's why trans men are uncomfortable being called she. Same with trans women and he. It isn't the pronoun that coincides with their gender.

You need dysphoria to be trans!! If you dont have dysphoria, what purpose do you have to transition?

However, tucutes shouldn't be harassed because of their opinions. Sure, if they're being a dick, go ahead and be a dick back. Anyone who's a dick doesnt really deserve to be treated with respect. But, in all other cases, be polite. Explain your views and why you think they're wrong calmly, not with anger.

Gender is not fluid! However, dysphoria is fluid. This is a topic no one ever seems to say outright, but we all seem to know it. And I dont mean fluid as in "one day i feel i should have a male body, and the next I'm fine as a woman." I mean "one day I can have debilitating dysphoria to the point I don't recognize myself, I can't leave the house without looking completely like my gender, I just want to tear off my skin. Another day my dysphoria lets up more, and I find myself questioning if I'm actually trans or not due to me being less uncomfortable with my body." Like, how many posts relate to this exact topic, and no one puts it into words? I think anyone who's "gender" is fluid is actually trans, they just haven't realized their dysphoria is what is fluid and not their identity. (That's certainly what happened with me)

He/him lesbians? That's called being straight.

Lesbian is ONLY used for women who love exclusively other women.

Nonbinary people cannot be lesbians. They're just nonbinary people who feel attraction to women. Not everything needs a label.

Gynesexual and androsexual are two great sexualities for nonbinary people who do want an identifier! (Though, they aren't lgbt. They're just identifiers.)

Bi and pan kinda are the same thing, if bisexual people are attracted to nonbinary folk. If they aren't the same, then pan is definitely a label under the bi umbrella. However, if someone wants to identify as pan, let them. I use pan because saying "all genders" is clearer than "more than one gender".

The acronym is just lgbt. The plus is implied. Saying "lgbtq" is a different group of people, which I define below.

There's two different levels of "not straight." (Im speaking in terms of just sexuality here.) There is being queer, which is strictly just being not "normal" when it comes to sexuality. Then there's lgbt, which is experiencing same-sex attraction. Asexual, aromantic, and polyamorous fall under queer, because they still aren't "the norm," but they don't experience same-sex attraction. Being lgbt makes you queer, but being queer does not make you lgbt. (If anyone has a different way to describe this besides a slur, feel free to pitch it)

"Demisexuality" is technically real, BUT it isn't queer or lgbt. Not being attracted to someone until you know them is something that can happen, but that doesn't mean it's a sexuality. It's just a measure of libido, tbh.

Intersex isnt lgbt!! I can't stress this one enough. Being intersex isn't a gender, it's being born with both male and female characteristics. And numerous intersex people have gone on record anything that they don't want to be included in the lgbt community. It isnt lgbt, man!!!

Polysexual, omnisexual, graysexual, and demisexual are all identities that just aren't needed/already exist as other identities.

#tw: q slur #tw: queer #lgbt #lgbtq #lesbian #gay #bi #bisexual #trans #transgender #pansexual #pan #non binary #nonbinary #truscum #tucute #asexual #aromantic #queer

46 notes · View notes

talking--bigender · 6 years

Text

Being Bigender- what it’s like.

I know there are already posts about being bigender and what it means, but I wanted to make my own so I could share some of my knowledge and experiences on being bigen.

Bigender: The Definition

Q- Do the two genders have to be "Girl and Boy"?

Difference between Bigender and Genderfluid

Q- If you’re bigender, are you trans? Or half-trans or something?

You can also have surgery/ name change/ go on hormones if you’re bigender, it’s alllll up to you.

Presentation

Q- Do you have to be 50% / half of both genders to be bigender?

If the amount of gender experienced can be at any percent, what’s to stop me from calling myself demigender instead of bigender?

[Demigender: feeling partially, but not fully a gender. Common labels are demigirl, demiboy, etc.]

The truth is, similar to how [bi]sexual/romantic, [poly]sexual/romatic and [pan]sexual/romantic all overlap, these labels also overlap and it’s really up to the person to choose which label they prefer.

ALSO. Demigenders don’t necessarily only experience two genders.

Q- Do you have to have separate sets of pronouns for each gender, or multiple names?

And again, names do not have to “correspond” with your genders- by which i mean you don’t have to have a “boy” name or a “girl” name or a neutral name unless that’s what you want.

They/Them

This applies to every gender identity, not just bigender.

Q- If I’m bigender, how does that affect my other orientations? Should I consider myself bi, gay, etc?

What it’s like being bigender

Well for starters, no two bigender people are the same, nor have the same experiences. I am probably the most stereotypical form of bigender- I’m a boy/girl, I use he/him and she/her pronouns, and I even have a “masculine” name and a “feminine” name. As much as I’d like to share alternative bigender stories, I can only tell you mine, so keep in mind that this isn’t the universal truth for all of us.

Q- How can I write a bigender character?

Some other multigenders that are similar/relate to Bigender [for those who may want to look into them]

Trigender- Like bigender, but experiencing three genders instead of two

Polygender- experiencing multiple genders but not all.

Demigender- feeling partially but not totally a gender.

Genderfluid- being fluid between genders [can be any genders, any amount of them and for any amount of time]

If you feel like I need to change anything about this post, then I’m open to suggestions/criticism!

#aliosha #my post #bigender #gender #lgbt+

592 notes · View notes

the-ghost-of-jason-todd · 6 years

Text

so here’s some thoughts on queer stuff

of all the things that people argue can/can’t be defined under the queer umbrella--such as sex work, kink, polyamory, ace identities, non-binary genders, bi/pan people, etc etc etc--there is one major trait that seems to be the main contributing factor on what queer IS.

identity.

like, duh, it’s identity. we identify as queer. identity politics. self-identity. community identity. it’s all about identity. why does this matter?

because there are two major types of identity i’m seeing: what you do, and who you are. old-school queer theory is that queer is what you DO. you do drag? you transition? you’re queer. you kiss people who are the same gender? definitely queer. queer was an action and a lot of the queer movement was reliant on the VISIBILITY of acting queer. which was why ‘het bisexuals’ were a thing, you know? bi people in het relationships weren’t engaging in the act of being queer, so for all intents and purposes, they weren’t. it was also one of the reasons why drag and transsexualism had so much crossover--engaging in drag was an ACT of queer expression, whether or not you based your entire life around it.

today, we are leaning WAY more toward self-identification through what i guess are intrinsic absolutes. i AM attracted to the same sex, whether or not i am engaging in the act. i AM something other than my agab. i’m guessing this was kickback against conversion therapy and the ‘technically straight’ arguments that tried to force us to assimilate. queer people didn’t want to be divorced from their queer identity against their will, especially because of technicalities, so they started saying “I can be married in the most cishet nuclear family way you’ve ever seen but i’m STILL queer” which is where we are today. queer is who you are, not what you do.

which is why i can both see that things like kink and sex work did once fall under the umbrella, and why they generally aren’t considered queer in today’s queer political scene. a cishet sex worker is incidentally queer in that they’re an active participant in a sexual act that goes against the mainstream monolith of Acceptable Sex, which is, yknow, the same thing that gay sex does. you can certainly build an identity around that. people have a hard time accepting ace as an identity because it crosses the lines between what you DO (you don’t do sex) and who you ARE, and there are people coming at it from both sides saying it’s nothing like the other alphabet soup letters. that’s false. it is EVERYTHING like the other alphabet soup letters. every single other alphabet soup letter i can think of had the same push and pull from action to attribute. sex work only hits one side of that venn diagram, which is why it’s not currently accepted under the queer umbrella, but we have to admit that the roots are the same, it’s just our modern identity politics that have drawn the line between them.

when you’re talking modern day queer community, the one real point of cohesion we have is that we ARE queer, not that we DO queer, because that’s how the community has decided to shift the definition as we move into the future. it doesn’t cover everyone, and it never will, and even the people who are on the fringes of this change or actively fighting against it are still queer if they say they are because their experiences are still valid. the general trend of intrinsic identity as opposed to active identity doesn’t mean anything to an individuals journey. all that trend is... is a trend. maybe in fifty years we’ll turn right around and go back the other direction, but for now this is where we are. MOST of us center our identity around who we are. SOME of us still look at it from a lens of what we do. and it’s all queer, at the end of the day, because this is our history. our past, our present, our future. there’s no cutoff point for when a person’s personal identity is no longer relevant. labels don’t become obsolete as long as they’re still in use. we can talk about the shift from transsexual to transgender but we can’t automatically say that using the label ‘transsexual’ is wrong.

i can’t ever say to someone that their labels aren’t valid because who the hell am i. one voice, is who. it misses a HELL of a lot of nuance to insist that some queer people aren’t queer because of dictionary definition shift. you can’t really apply your own understanding to every person you meet because it’s just not going to work. intersectionalism forces fluidity so really, it’s best to roll with it.

and... that’s where i am, currently, in my understanding.

#10th #April #2018 #April 10th 2018 #queer theory #queer politics #transgender politics #rip #i mean seriously at the end of the day none of this matters #accept that people are queer and move on #there's no reason to dissect them #it might make you feel better if you can understand where they're coming from but even if you don't...#...you still don't have the authority to kick someone out of the community #bottom line

8 notes · View notes