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elizabethsharmon · 4 years

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reblog if you feel disrespected by skam france and demand official apology

below a full list of all the offenses:

Manon going back to Ch*rbage after he emotionally manipulated her to not testify against his brother (who got her drunk, took nudes of her, and kept blackmailing her) because “after all nothing happened = he didn’t r*pe her”

Making Arthur and Alexia a couple in the first place just so he could cheat on her with Noee and lie to her for weeks and then having her break up with him, only for them to suddenly being good friends in s6 and kissing in the last clip (which ngl almost made me throw up)

Bringing up Lucas’ insecurities and abandonment issues but never letting him talk about them with Eliott; posting some damage control posts on instagram instead and pretending like Lucas is fine with Eliott kissing Lola for the film (which he clearly wasn’t, the writers seem to not know him at all)

Wasting time to edit Tiff’s head onto different animals and posting things on that cyberbullying account that no one cared about instead of posting something from the grew + the worst social media ever

Not giving us a proper goodbye to the grew and not really saying anything about their future

Lying to the fans about god knows what we will see in s6 and baiting them to watch even though legit nothing of it happened

Not continuing Arthur’s story in s6 (fine, I don’t really care about that but we were supposed to see it so ???? )

Treating some fans more privileged than the others, giving them spoilers about the new seasons, inviting them on set

FranceTV Slash and SkamLaSerie instas mocking fans in their stories - saying stuff like Lola will cause the break up between Daphne and Basile, “addiction can be useful for flirting” (yikes), creating a ship war between fans in s5 by posting two photos of Alexia/Arthur and Noee/Arthur with a caption “we love them both, we can’t choose”, the host of the live of s6 calling people on tumblr “obsessed” and not apologizing when people said they’re offended by that, blocking people who were asking questions about why the SA was never mentioned again during the live

Liking all the praise but constantly ignoring fans when they were asking questions about writing choices and then blocking them

the rest of 50 offenses under cut cause turns out they really disrespected me more than I thought

feel free to add whatever you want if i forgot about something

None of the girls really apologizing to Imane at the end of season 4 after all they’ve put her through and after they took the side of the racist (who already had a history of drama with Emma) instead of their friend

Taking away Noee’s integrity and making her say “I love you” out loud (which was totally ooc cause an episode earlier she said LSF is her language and she doesn’t like her voice) after Arthur (who was leading her on for weeks) told her they can’t be together

Male gaze in s5 because even though the sign language is a body language, the way camera was lingering on her flat, bare stomach, a few times showing a close up on her boobs during the “song-dance” scene was male gaze

Lack of beautiful, slow-mo, piano music scenes for Alexia with Arthur staring at her awestruck because apparently she’s not worthy enough

Completely sidelining the deaf/hoh storyline in favour of cheating/love triangle plot

Reducing Camille to a translator and randomly making him Mika’s boyfriend because why the hell not

Completely forgetting about Mika and Lisa after s5 (did they ever find that roommate????)

Noee kissing Arthur right after he shared his traumatic story with her and overshadowing domestic abuse with cheating

Absolutely no follow-up about P*trick and domestic abuse after s5

Having P*trick cheat on Arthur’s mom with Emma’s mom because they’re all one big family

Random crackfic farm episode that didn’t make absolutely ANY sense

Killing Fifi rip [*]

Arthur getting hit by The Car and being perfectly fine the next day

The Boy Squad becoming cheating apologists, Lucas giving Arthur the same advice he gave to Emma in s1 and Yann (who got hurt because of it back then) supporting it

Character regression, especially for Lucas, and the whole boy squad acting out of character

Continuously trying to make Lucas look like a bad guy because they knew we would forgive him everything

Arthur suddenly liking art even though it hasn’t been ever mentioned before and his whole instagram was filled with space related posts

Parallels between Eliott/Lucas and Arthur/Noee

Catherine - or lack of her - aka the queerbait from s3

Completely ignoring character’s birthdays - Basile and Manon (second year in a row)

Not introducing Lola before and making s6 about a complete stranger but still expecting the fans to like her from the get-go and watch the show by baiting the fans with the promise of “unofficial mains” (Daphne and Eliott)

Forcing the Lola/Eliott friendship and selling it in the promo as sister/brother relationship instead of writing it in a way that would make it flow naturally

Making Eliott Otteli Urbex King only to forget the plot after more or less three clips; also having Eliott hide the truth from Lucas for months and then pretending to resolve it in a text to Lola ??? which didn’t make sense in the first place but then it turned out that it was just damage control

Making Lola hook up with much older guys than her over and over again and having one of them s*xually assault just so Eliott could play the hero and save her; never bringing that up again

Making Eliott punch people left and right - anything to protect the ladies, Sofiane punching Ch*rbage in s4 can agree I guess

Letting Eliott talk about his past and insecurities only so Lola could prey on them later and emotionally manipulate him into drinking

Also Eliott not letting Lola apologize and brushing off her apologies because apparently that was nothing at all and it’s okay to let people walk you over and manipulate you

Not letting Lucas speak for himself

The whole Lux & Obscurus plot, having Eliott write the film about his and Lucas’ relationship and what his love means to Eliott only to have Lola play in it, not adjusting the script so that it would fit the change and still keeping the Eliott/Lola kiss as a big fuck you to the fandom instead of having it end with a forehead touch and fade to black especially that they haven’t even showed it to us again during the screening of Eliott’s film (but it made all the other couples turned on enough to kiss in that exact moment so maybe it had a purpose) (it didn’t what the fuck was that)

Also acting like Lucas can’t spare a few hours to film it with Eliott cause he has to sTuDy FoR tHe BaC when they were filming it in the middle of a night on Friday, how is that realistic

Not giving Eliott any friends of his own and pretending like he’s a lone wolf even though he’s the biggest sunshine ever and he’s naturally drawn to people; acting like there are no other studens at his film school who could help him film his project so instead he let Lola find random people who knew nothing about filming to help him; having a bunch of random people at the screening of his film and if they were supposed to be his “friends” from the film school then I’m gonna throw hands

Acting like we will see what “minute by minute” really means and “see Eliott like we’ve never seen him before” which never happened

Switching POV for two clips only and they all revolved around Lola because they decided to go with su*cide attempt in episode 9

Also ending that episode with a su*cide note even though the next clip was before midnight on Friday

Giving Lola the worst therapist ever and a really poor attempt at cheering her up from the nurse

Enforcing that “having a loved one” is “the real reason to change” instead of sending the message that you should change for yourself first and foremost and showing that reaching out for professional help is a good thing and can really help you

Acting like ED can be cured by italian cuisine and not mentioning it again for weeks; having Daphne ask Lola not to go to rehab because they have each other and a few clips after that she’s suddenly after her first therapy (love that for her but there’s something huge missing here)

Making Lola’s life a living hell and a misery porn for 10 weeks straight

Making P*trick, Thierry and Lola’s biological dads The Worst (men are trash but it would be nice to see some good parenting on the show)

Giving all the members of La Mif two or three personality traits and not fleshing out their characters

Giving Maya a girlfriend because a season without a love triangle is a waste

Not really developing Mayla well and having their first kiss right after Eliott/Lola cursed kiss as a preemptive damage control to shut us up

Never mentioning why Lola was doing

Wasting a good chunk of the season on Tiff and that insta account and ending it with “she’s addicted to social media”

Giving Yann like one line each season after s3

Reducing Sofiane to the background dancer in s5 and s6

Hating female characters

F/M friendships are only possible if the guy is gay, otherwise cheating always had to be involved

and you know. in general. pretty much everything they did after s3.

#skam france #skamfr

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a-pirate-my-hearties · 3 years

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Yes, Captain (Darling Hook smutty one-shot)

Relationship: Adult Wendy Darling/Captain James Hook

Summary: Wendy Darling and Captain Hook are happily married. They lead a lavish, decadent, adventurous life, filled with all the wonders and riches Wendy has never thought she’ll ever experience. They also very enjoy their bedroom life spicy.

And Wendy enjoys to play this particular game with James very much.

Inspired by a certain quote from Marquis the Sade’s works.

Warnings: BDSM, whipping, bondage, swear words, anal fingering, anal sex, vaginal fingering, masturbation, vaginal sex, just if it's not clear - THIS IS NOT A TRIANGLE

I was not sure who feels comfortable added to the tag list so I haven’t tagged anyone in this - feel free to message me :) And enjoy!

~*~*~*~

Wendy was married and happy, and overwhelmingly so. With no one other than the infamous Captain James Hook. She didn’t care for the societal expectations, she stopped caring a long time ago. She’s discovered that only made it harder for her to pursue her own happiness. So she threw that away and instead accepted her wishes and desires.

Both emotional and sexual.

James accepted her and loved her for who she was. Wendy didn’t need to water herself down in any way. His fire matched hers. He loved her intelligence, fierceness, her wit. He craved her passion, her stubborness, her fire. He adored her vulnerability, her softness, her sweetness.

And Wendy reciprocated with all she had.

All his wounds and scars, be it physical or emotional, were safe with her. James trusted her with his life and loved her more that the life itself. After all, it was Wendy who saved him from the dark abyss of loneliness.

He tought her how to free herself from the bounds of others’ expectations. Being a pirate captain, James had a fare share of experience in taking what he wanted and never looking back; he tought her the freedom of choice, even if his own were ostensible in terms of Neverland’s existence. He tought her that her vulnerabilities are safe with him and she’s no less beautiful to him because of them; because Wendy accepted him whole, never ever felt repulsed by his deformity or his dark mind, what else could he do but embrace her in the same open, unashamed, loving way?

Their open trust and fire translated into their bedroom activities. Another thing that James tought Wendy were the pleasures of flesh that were somehow unconventional and not to everybody’s tastes. But to James’s delight, they were to Wendy’s. Oh how much they were.

~*~*~*~

Tonight they were about to play their little game and Wendy was shivering with excitement. James instructed her on how he wanted her to look when he came to her. Since their arrangement required bondage, Wendy needed to meet up with Luke first.

Luke was one of James’s and Wendy’s servants. Part of his work was unique in that sense that he would assist them in what was almost impossible for James to do with just one hand, since his hook was rather more useful for slicing than tying knots.

It was Wendy’s idea. At first James was jealous, but Wendy assured him with utmost care and love that it was all about being practical and nothing else. And she happened to pick just the perfect candidate.

Luke was a man probably in his early twenties. He had curly blonde hair, light green eyes and a charming smile. He and Wendy quickly became good friends and even James took a certain liking to the open, honest man. They soon both learned Luke wasn’t really interested in women, so James’s jealousy disappeared completely. They also realised he was quite experienced in what they both enjoyed, so not much lessons about tying ropes or respecting boundaries were needed.

Luke respected his master and mistress very much and soon he became more of a friend that a servant really. They could trust him with the most delicate matters and be sure they will be taken care of thoughtfully and attentively.

~*~*~*~

James passed Luke on his way to the main bedroom in the mansion, exchanging a knowing nod and look with his servant.

This was going to be delicious.

He opened the door, doing it deliberately slow.

There she was, his beautiful godess, her arms spread, tied to two of the posts of their bed, kneeling on the soft matress. She was wearing a thin, silk robe in pale pink over a lace cream corset, matching undergarments and stockings. She was also blindfolded, so she could only listen to him, pacing slowly towards her, making her breath quicken and her hearts race and he would only chuckle lowly at her reactions.

"Stunning.”, he murmured at her, already feeling a slight steering in her breeches at the sight in front of him.

Wendy’s breathing grew more and more shallow the closer he got. Finally he was there, his hand ever so gently brushing down her neck, between her shoulder blades, her lower back, before giving her buttock a firm squeeze.

She arched her back towards him with a moan, then gave a surprised, but delighted squeak.

James chuckled.

"Always so enthusiastic, always so ready to play”, he leaned close and whispered hotly in her ear, gently brushing away honey brown locks from her neck to plant the gentles of kisses there. Wendy moaned softly and exposed her neck more, and James slid her robe down slightly from her shoulder to gently bite at the crook of her neck and lick a stripe from her shoulder to her ear. He felt her shudder under his caresses and smiled against her soft skin.

"Patience, my pet. It’s a virtue. Don’t you think?”, he continued his ministrations on her other arm, before giving her left breast a light squeeze. She wasn’t wearing any bra and he was so hard already.

Wendy gasped, unable to form a proper thought, yet say anything.

James bit her on the neck gently, making her gasp again and move against her restraints. "I asked you a question, pet.”

She gave him a breathless "Yes."

"Yes, what?”, his tone was merciless, yet polite.

"Yes... Captain.”

He smiled. "Such a good, darling… girl.”

He stopped and turned away from Wendy. She whined at the lost of his touch. There was a moment of heavy silence, and Wendy’s anticipation and arousal were only growing with each passing minute. She wanted James to touch her again so badly. But she loved their game too much.

She was waiting.

A few minutes later he came to her and she felt him slide her robe down her body. Another moment and there was a slashing motion, a touch of cold on her side and Wendy felt her corset falling down on the floor. She was left only in her undergarments and stockings.

James looked at Wendy, his forget-me-nots eyes now darkened with desire. He fetched himself a bottle of red vintage, a glass, put it on the small table near the bed and pulled a chair so now he was facing Wendy’s exposed back. He also had a riding crop in his hand now.

~*~*~*~

Wendy was pracically shaking with desire already, gooseflesh on her skin from where James kissed, touched and bit her. Her knees were already getting a bit uncomfortable and her arms slightly strained, but she knew she needed to wait patiently just for a little bit longer.

She heard him opening a bottle and the pouring himself a glass of alcohol. He took a sip and Wendy figured out he must have sit close to her when she felt a flat, wide, leathery tip on her back. She smiled and arched under her restraints.

"So beautiful, so willing, and all only for me.”, she heard a smirk in his voice. Then suddenly he was close again and his fingers were teasing her sex. She let out a long moan of relief. "And already dripping wet for me, too.”, Wendy heard in his voice he was barely restraining himself, but she knew his self control. His fingers left her and she complained but then she felt the tip of the riding crop on her back and buttocks again.

"I’m going to whip you now, my darling. Remember that if at any time you want me to slow down or stop, you just have to say a word. What are your safe words?”

"Green for go, yellow for slowing down, red for stopping.”

"Very well, love. Let’s begin… Count each strike with me and thank me after each, do you

understand?”

"Yes, Captain.”

"Good girl.”

His first strike landed on her left buttock and was rather gentle. "One! Thank you, Captain.” The second was much harsher and elicited a gasp from her. "Two! Thank you, Captain.”

She felt him caress the irritated skin before striking again and leaving her almost breathless. "Three! Thank you, Captain!”

The fourth and fifth strike landed on her right buttock and were as gentle as the first but the sixth one almost made her scream „red!”. Almost. Tears swelled up in her eyes but she bore the hit well.

"S- six. Thank you, C-captain!”

"Are you alright, my darling? We can stop now.”

Wendy exhaled deeply. "I’m fine, love. Please continue. Green.” She felt him kiss and massage the irritated flesh tenderly before striking the other buttock twice in a row.

"Seven! Eight! Thank you, Captain!”

They went on until Wendy was almost breathless but she did well. Her legs were trembling when they were done.

"Th-thirty. Th-thank you, C-captain.”

"Oh my beautiful, darling girl. You are marvelous, do you know that?”, he whispered in her ear. His hand cupped one of her breasts, massaging the flesh, rolling her nipple gently. He licked the shell of her ear and she let out a long moan.

"When she’s abandoned her moral center and teachings...”, he whispered, his voice hoarse with need, his hand sliding down her body, down her undergarments, "when she’s cast aside her facade of propriety and lady-like demeanor...”, he slid his fingers between her wet folds and bit her earlobe, eliciting a shameless moan from Wendy’s lips, "when I have so corrupted this fragile thing and brought out a writhing...”, James slipped two of his fingers inside her and she rolled her hips violently, "mewling, buckling wanton whore” – the word was degrading, but he spoke it with such softness and love Wendy felt warmth in her heart – "enticing from within this feral lioness… growling and scracthing and biting… taking everything I dish out to her...” – his fingers were now on her clit, making lazy circles – "at that moment she is never more beautiful to me.”**

Wendy was in a daze. She could feel his fingers inside her, his need pressing urgently through his breeches at her buttocks, her knees were about to gave out and that’s when took his fingers out, slashed the ropes and took down the blindfold.

He caught her just in time.

"You’ve done beautifully, my darling girl.”, he kissed her forehead. "I must have you now.”

"Yes Captain.”, she heard herself say. "I want you...”

"Tell me what you want me to do, pet.”

"I want you to fuck me, Captain. I need you so badly.”

James smiled and Wendy felt even more wet. It was a hungry smile of a predator.

"Will you let me fuck your other hole today, pet?”

Wendy moaned. "Oh yes, please Captain. I want it.”

"Since you’re asking so nicely, pet… Undress me.”

~*~*~*~

James was barely able to control himself at this point. He dressed lightly, only in his red frilly shirt and black breaches and boots so it was easier for them to get out of the clothes right now. Wendy’s fingers were fumbling over his buttons, meanwhile he kicked off his boots and she practically tore his shirt off of him while he literally slashed her panties. He took her in his arms and layed her down, their lips crashing in a violent, passionate kiss. Wendy’s fingers tangled in his dark curls and tugged forcefully as he growled into her lips and pressed her even closer to him, his hook dug into the bed post not to hurt her.

"James, please...”, she whispered, her voice strained with desire and need.

He smirked at her and kissed her ravenously before reminding her, "you’re forgetting yourself, my pet.”

"I’m sorry, Captain”, her words came out a moan when he bit into the crook of her neck.

"I need to fuck you now, my darling pet. Just wait for me.”

He came back a moment later with a little bottle of oil. Wendy already layed with her legs spread for him, a hungry smile on her lips, her pupils blown wide, eyes shining.

James took out a bit of oil and put it on his fingers. Gently he massaged Wendy’s tight hole that clenched under his ministrations. Wendy’s let out a moan and closed her eyes.

"None of that, pet. I want you to look at me.”

Wendy opened her eyes, clouded with pleasure and looked at James. His blue gaze seemed to pierce her to the spot, entrace her everytime, hypnotize her.

She felt his finger slip inside.

"Oh fuck, yes. Yes, please, Captain. Please fuck me.”

He moved his finger slowly, teasingly, in and out and it was driving her crazy.

"More!”

"What’s the word, pet?”

"Please, Captain!”

He slipped a second finger inside and she almost sobbed but his pace was too slow for her, so she buckled her hips impatiently. He chuckled.

"I think that’s enough indeed”, he said and removed his fingers from her. She whined but just a minute later he was between her thighs, positioning himself at her tight hole, the tip of his cock teasing her entrance.

All composure finally lost, James intense gaze was focused on Wendy’s green eyes as he entered her slowly, and they both let out sounds of pleasure and relief. Wendy opened her legs wider and lifted them higher to allow him better access and put them around his back. His thrusts were slow, deep and sensual and his grunts and moans were music to Wendy’s ears.

Wendy’s ecstasy was apparent, as he felt her slip her hand down to pleasure herself by rubbing her clit and finger herself.

"Yes darling, touch yourself”, he breathed, picking up a faster pace, beggining to chase his own release. "Come for me, my love. Be a good girl and come for me.”

"Yes, Captain – ”, she moaned out between the sensations. James saw her like this before so many times and he knew and felt she was close. His thrusts were rough and fast now.

"Come for me!”, James’s voice was commanding, his thrusts merciless.

"Yes, Captain! Yes, oh yes, James, yes! Oh god!”, she came with a shameless cry, now clawing at his back, he hissed, surely she drew blood but he didn’t care as he came just moments later, spilling his seed deep inside her.

They were a breathless, panting mess now. James took a few steadying breaths before kissing Wendy’s forehead and rolling out of her. She was also spend, beads of sweat on her temples and breasts and the look of pure satisfaction of her face.

James thought she was absolutely exquisite.

"Thank you, James, my love.”, Wendy kissed him tenderly before laying her head on his chest.

He put his arms around her, careful not to cut her with his hook.

"You did so well, my darling girl. I love you.”

"I love you too.”

Soon they drifted off to sleep. After all, they had a busy night, didn’t they?

**A quote by Marquise de Sade.

#captain james hook #adult wendy darling #darling hook #smut #lemon #jas. hook #james hook #wendy darling #smutty fanfiction #apiratemyhearties #a-pirate-my-hearties #jason isaacs's hook #jason isaacs #because who else would he be based on 👀#n/sfw

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a-reasonforthoughts · 4 years

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My thoughts on the Rise of Skywalker, because quarantine forced me to finally watch it. !!!!Spoilers!!!!!

Growing up, Star Wars was my childhood. My sisters and I read all the books (including the comics) and we packed the Essential Guides with us everywhere. Because for our deep love of the Extended universe, when the last few movies came out we had... mixed emotions. I didn’t even see the last movie when it came out after hearing some less than stellar reviews. So here’s my review, or rather my reactions to the Rise of Skywalker. (Yes, I actually sat down with paper and pen and watched this movie.) Title craw: The DIABOLICAL First Order.

‘The Emperor has returned.’ Wow, the are expecting us to go along with a lot aren’t they.

Cool. Kylo wrecking everything.

Yay, a planet that isn’t snow, desert, or forest. Hold on tight kids, they’re throwing us right into this one. We’re already at Palpatine’s house. Ew. Whats with the tank?

Whoa eyes! What’s up with his lips? Can someone bring this fossil a drink?

Imperial March playing while a Star Destroyer rises in the back ground. Is this Vader’s old ship? Rey is “Not who we thought she is.” Thought she was “Nothing”?

Ew, what is Klaud, and why is he here?

Who are all these people on the Falcon? “How do we thank you?” “Win the war.” aren’t you all on the same team? Why do you need to thank him? Cool, another planet thats not snow, desert, or a forest. Never mind.

Oh great, Rey’s here. Looks like the Lightsaber is fixed. I know the names of a bunch of these plants! When Luke was training with the ball thing (Training remote) he was just trying to deflect the shots. Rey’s trying to take down the whole forest.

You sure you want to destroy that thing Rey? There can’t be to many of them laying around Who are all these people? Why’s the Falcon on FIRE?! Since when is “Light-speed skip” a thing? Seriously. Who are all these people? I thought after the last movie there was only like, 10 of them left. Hey! It’s Merry from Lord of the Rings!

What’s this old orange doing here?

“Sith Way-finder” Sigh. Are Poe and Rey a “thing”? Are Finn and Rey a “thing”? Why’s everyone here but R2? There he is. Why did they not bring him?!

Now I’m watching a Planet of the Apes crossover.

That guy who was on the same team is dead now. His blood is clear so the rating doesn't go up. Well, Hux is certainly different.

Someone must have taken his hair gel because his hair was never this poofy before. Is this a Holi Festival, or Burning man.

Why are we learning the name of this random kid? Rey just walked away from her, what was that? Yay! The force link is still there!

Kylo is giving off stalker vibes. It’s nice to see him growing into his role of Supreme Leader. Looks like everyone hates him. Wait- Who is this guy?! Why are they following a stranger!

It’s LANDO Oh, so Rey know’s who Lando is, but thought Luke was a myth. Makes sense. Boom. First order is here.

Lando: “My flying days are over.” Why? “Give Leia my love.” Ew. Wait, why is Lando out here? Did Luke just leave him? He said he came here with him. Has the emotional issues of being abandoned by Luke led him to never fly again? Is this a parallel story to Rey’s abandonment? What’s the motive here movie! They made it even harder for these Storm Troopers to see out of those helmets.

3PO is getting a lot of lines. Rey *is distracted* Ship *Blows up* Now they have sinking sand. WAS THAT ALMOST A CONFESSION?! This guy just says, “The Falcon is not responding.” when asked, and they’re like “Don’t be such a downer!” Oh yay, they survived. Kay, we’re just brushing over Finn’s almost confession. I’m sure they’ll come back to that later. *Cough* Okay, that flashlight bit was funny.

How do you know that’s the guy you’re looking for? That could be anybody’s skeleton! How’d they find a knife that neither Luke, or Lando (who might have been here for 20 years) could find! Rey’s making friend’s with the basilisk.

She just transferred some of her life force to the snake! Why!? This old ship they found in the desert still works. “Chewie, tell Rey we got to go!” Why can’t you do it? You’re not doing anything. Axe. Here comes lover boy. How to Breathe, the movie, by Rey.

Trailer shot.

Was he just gonna run her over?

Cool, she’s pulling the ship out of the sky. Uh oh, helmet’s off, there goes her focus.

Now they’re playing tug-a-war with the ship. It’s the light saber fight all over again. Whoa!!! She juST LIGHTING’D THE SHIP! Kylo Looked freaked out for a second! She just told Finn she had a vision of her and Kylo together, and he looks like he’s gonna cry. 3PO tells them how horrible and dangerous it is to override a droid’s programming. “Let’s do that!” That droid looks like a yoga wheel and a hairdryer.

Rey to the new droid: “Someone treated him badly. It’s alright, you’re with us now.” Yeah, just don’t watch what we’re about to do to this other droid.

Looks like we’re adding another girl to this love triangle (hexagon?) She’s not supposed to be a Mandalorian is she. (So help me-) I hate you and I’m going to turn you in *Hit’s her over the head and pulls out a lightsaber* Okay, lets go.

Why they so mad at Poe for being a smuggler? Wow. They are forcing C-3PO to do this. Backup his memory to the hairdryer! It’s got to have a reason for being here! C-3PO “Oh! I just had an idea of something else we could try-” ZAP! ...Was that supposed to be funny? These writers need to learn what humor is, and when to use it. Why are we focusing on Poe and his old girlfriend the Power Ranger? Wah! What’s up with 3PO’s eye’s? Is he a Sith droid now? Why does he have that function?!

Rey, you’re boyfriend’s here. They wiped 3PO’s memory and he doesn’t know who anyone is, but he’s still polite. Poe angrily points “That’s gonna be a problem!” Our heroes ladies and gentleman. I hope the First Order just blast them. That Admiral’s badge just let them in? Like no one reported that missing?? Wiped 3PO’s memory and they’re getting the dagger anyway. Worst rescue ever.

Vaders Helmet has had a hard life. Rey has a vision in every scene she's in.

More ‘Rey’s family history’ with Kylo “Tell me where you are,” She’s in your room dude.

R.IP. Vader Helmet

That Stormtrooper behind Kylo must be so confused. *Sees helmet, breaks link* “She’s in my quarters!” Told you so. Why is Hux the spy? When did this happen? What does he think the outcome of this will be?

3PO just wandering the halls with a crossbow.

“You are a Palpatine.” Wanna be a Solo? Is this like his fourth proposal? OooooOOOOooo, that was cool! Kylo standing in the blast of the Falcon’s engines was a moment we needed!

Yikes! They took out Hux fast! They didn’t want to question him or anything? No?

The Death Star was blasted to smithereens, why is it here? How is it here?

They made that dagger to line up with the wreckage? I’m pretty sure things that are constantly beat by the ocean will move or erode over time. Who even made that? What was the purpose?!

Yay, another scavenger Who’s also a ex-Stormtrooper, because why not.

That’s a horse covered in a rug. Rey’s out trying to kill herself again.

“There’s another Skimmer!” Wonder who that is. He is literally following her to the ends of the galaxy.

Wait- The throne rooms still in one piece?! The chair and everything?!!! Dark Rey- YIKES! TEETH

I thought he stopped the holocron with his foot, I was really surprised when fingers formed and he picked it up.

Kylo acting so cool as she’s trying to slash him to ribbons. I see Merry again! Wait- What’s Leia got to do? And why does Maz know? They’ve never explained what this strange orange is and what she can do.

Finn’s in deep- Wait how'd he get out here?????

Leia don’t distract your son while he’s fighting for his life!

SEE!!!!!!!

“I wanted to take your hand. Ben’s hand.” You think he’s going to leave you alone after that?

Why is Rey just a total mess in every movie.

Chewie mourning Leia is a good touch. It’s nice to see the reaction of someone who ACTUALLY knew her. Whoa! They got Harrison Ford to come back! That must have taken a lot of bribery (or blackmail).

Has almost dying given Kylo/Ben the power to see non-Force user ghost, or is he just going nuts? So this is just a rehash of Han’s death scene.

Aw, he called him Dad- Hey don’t throw that away, you need that!

He’s nuts. Those red helmets look stupid. Aaaaand it’s the Death Star again Merry in the background! Why’d they make Poe the General? Lando finally got off that planet

“General.” “General.” She’s burning his ship. Good luck Kylo/Ben.

You know how hot that fire has got to be to burn metal “A Jedi weapon should be treated with more respect.” You brat.

Why did he have Leia’s lightsaber here? “...it would be picked up again, by someone who would finish her journey.” Oooookay, but why not just have her take Luke’s old Saber? It’s gotta be laying around here somewhere.

I know it’s symbolic and all that he’s raising the x-wing, but there’s no way that thing still works.

Alright, 3PO’s memories are back. Why’d we have to go through all that? I spy Merry again! How does Poe know all this stuff about Exogol? He’s just a fountain of information over here!

“Now we take the war to them!” That’s literally what you’ve done every movie ever No one is questioning how Lando got here. Isn’t this a secret base? *Dr. Evil voice* ONE MILLION STAR DESTROYERS

Who even wrote this story line? Finn’s going with his gut and everyones just going along with it. Not like you could all die or anything. They brought the rug horses with them

How are they breathing in space!? Those red troopers still look stupid.

What’s this crowd chanting? Are they speaking Parseltoungue? “I never wanted you dead.” That’s why I told Kylo Ren to kill you.

Hang on- his plan is ‘You be the empress, and I’ll just possess you. Grandaughter.’ EW. Why would she want that? How is that a tempting offer? Someone’s gone senile. Direct quote: “I got to go do something!” “I’m coming with you!” Why do these people get attached so quickly?!

“Luke was saved by his father. The only family you have here is me.” Yeah, but I got a boyfriend who follows me everywhere!

Ben runs and jumps: “Ow.” We finally get to see the Knight’s of Ren in action! (Where have they been this whole time?) “Once you kill me I shall become apart of you!” So she could just, not kill him. Right? Oh yeah, here we go, now we got a showdown!

Well, that was anticlimactic

WHAT IS HAPPENING Poe just realized he's the worst General ever.

YO. Don’t tell your troops there is no hope! What is wrong with you??? Why isn't Lando the General? He is a lot more qualified!!!

Wait a minute!! Where were all these people when LEIA ORGANA called for help????

Wedge Antilles!!!!!! So all the life force sucking was just so Palpatine could up grade his outfit? *Flings Ben into a pit* Palpatine is so done with the Skywalkers Hey, I know these voices!!!! Aaaaand now he wants to kill her. So whats our big moment? TWO lightsabers!

Why did the make that the big epic moment? Why didn’t they have Ben run over and they do it together- It would have been perfect for his story arch! Rey: “And we” Together: “are all the Jedi!” Now she's dying. Why? Not even the writers know So Finn’s Force sensitive. Cool I guess? This is a really touching moment for them, even more so if they did anything other than fight this entire movie!

This kinda feels out of nowhere

I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW

NOW SHE’S SMILING AND FINE. HE JUST DIED Merry’s here again and I can’t even be happy about it Now Finn has to chose between Rose and the new girl Poe’s trying to start something with his Power Ranger old flame, and she's like “Not a chance.” Now everything’s all happy like BEN DIDN’T JUST DIE. ARE WE NOT GOING TO ADDRESS THIS?????????? Oh hey, it’s the Lars farm. Nobody else moved in after all these years? Now she's burying the Skywalker lightsabers in the place they all hated.

WHY IS BEN NOT HERE!!!!!!! HE WAS A MAIN CHARACTER FOR THESE MOVIES AND THEY DID HIM DIRTY!!!!!!

Well I guess they had to wrap this mess up somehow

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aceadmiral · 4 years

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To Live Without

Some family friends getting married had a cute idea: with the RSVP, they asked guests to suggest a song for the reception. When discussing possibilities with my mother, we pulled up the most famous scene of My Best Friend's Wedding (1997), when the cast spontaneously breaks out into Dionne Warwick's "I Say A Little Prayer" at brunch. The top YouTube hit for a clip also includes the reprise(?) at the end, and it reminded me what a deeply weird movie it is. Circumstances being what they are, I decided to take the opportunity to re-watch the full film, and well. Spoilers for a 23-year-old movie?

My Best Friend's Wedding is first and foremost analyzed as a deconstruction and repudiation of the standard way the Love Triangle plays out in the mainstream RomCom, and I'm not sure the movie would even work if you were somehow unaware of the tropes associated with it. We're primed to expect the love rival will be evil or selfish or somehow bad, and it only comes on gradually that our protagonist is, in fact, the villain of the story. But then, weirder still, you kind of still want the villain to succeed because it turns out the love interest is pretty much a jerk and, karmicly, their inevitable acrimonious divorce contrasted with love rival's marriage to someone who would actually value her has a better ring to it.

The other thing that is peculiar about the film's structure is George, the main character's editor-slash-gay-best-friend. Originally a very small part, it was beefed up to include the iconic scene and also a completely different moral framing device--and ending--in reshoots.

And that ending. Apparently, she was originally supposed to meet some new guy at the wedding reception and hit it off, but instead George drops everything to fly out to Chicago for the second time in one weekend to be a good (great, honestly) friend. I actually saw the ending once on TV first without the context of the full film. Maybe if I hadn't known what was coming, I could have bought in to the idea that the main character had realized some until-then obscured True Love for love interest, but I kind of doubt it. The film goes out of its way to question her motivations for wanting to stop this wedding, which I appreciate because I probably would have died of rage if it asked me to accept at face value all these events on the basis of a one-month relationship nearly a decade prior. Her actions make it clear she's not interested in a serious relationship/marriage. She also tells us as much before this whole crisis starts. And thankfully, thankfully, the ending confirms it.

Regardless of if you want to take an aromantic reading of the main character (and you certainly could), I feel like the movie is affirming to me and my ilk in that late-90s kind of way. Like, as long as you don't actually think about it and just feel, it's great to see a female character at 28 express indifference about marriage, go through a crisis about it, and then not be proven wrong. When does that ever happen? Aside from real life, I mean.

Because, statistically speaking, people seem to know what they want out of marriage by their late 20s. Despite the meme of the young person changing their mind--especially women as their "biological clock starts ticking"--it doesn't seem to be reality, in either direction. By 28? Your brain is fully formed and more than ready to make decisions that will impact the entire rest of your life.

So, thanks for the deeply, deeply weird ending, movie: perhaps one of the only times reshoots have made a film more thematically coherent, although apparently by accident. Maybe there won't be marriage, and I was never big on sex, but I am 100% on board to keep on dancing.

[Cross-posted to Wordpress]

#Thanks also for repopularizing the song #that we used in that skit #that gave me my first older-guy crush #ahhhh to be young!#media representation #relationships

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sprnklersplashes · 4 years

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The One Where Robin Gets Bronchitis

Sometimes, true love isn’t always epic kisses, breaking curses, fairytale weddings and romantic dances.

Sometimes it’s pushing your girlfriend away from you because you have viral bronchitis but she has no sense of self-preservation and keeps trying to kiss you.

(fluff, pure fluff friends)

Robin buries her face in her pillow as she hears the door close, Gideon leaving for work. On her bedside sit roughly five different kinds of medicine (she’s far too tired to give a real count) and a litre bottle of water, as well as a basin beside her bed despite knowing she won’t throw up. That’s what happens when her best friend-slash-roommate is an overprotective hypochondriac whose Mum Friend instincts kick into overdrive when someone is sick (especially when that someone is Robin, the girl he’s been looking out for since they were toddling around Storybrooke’s playpark together).

She lets out another cough, pressing her tissue to her mouth.

“You look like St Therese,” Hope says, casually as they can with five hairpins between their teeth. Since it’s entirely their fault Robin is in her tired, fevered, miserable state, Robin Facetimed them once she woke up to make them feel as guilty as possible. Now she’s curled up on one side, away from the harsh light of her window, her phone propped up by a stack of books and wearing the cat onesie she bought herself as an early Christmas present, all while huddled underneath her comforter.

“Who?” she asks.

“St Therese. You know, the French saint who died of coughing blood. Her last words in her diary were something like ‘wow there’s a lot of bubbly stuff on my mouth right now’. Or something.”

“Or something,” Robin agrees. “Anyway, I’m not coughing blood. I’m coughing mucus which is arguably worse.”

“What colour?”

“Hope!”

“What?” they sigh. “My dad said that you can tell a lot by the colour of your mucus.”

“Your dad grew up in the 1800s and wouldn’t know what antibiotics were if you threw them at his face. He probably threw little lavender bags at you when you got sick.”

“You know, technically you’re shit talking your future father-in-law there,” they remind her. Robin pulls a face at the camera as Hope slides another hairpin into their black locks before pulling them apart. “And for your information, it was rosemary.” They look down for a second, biting their lips like a nervous child, which in a lot of ways, Hope still is. Or at least in Robin’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Rob.”

“Don’t worry about it, H,” she replies before letting out another cough, making Hope flinch. “Just hope your date with Melody was worth it.”

“It was,” she replies, a pink blush on their pale cheeks. Robin giggles and looks beyond the phone screen to her bedroom door, where the scarf she lent Hope for her date is hanging on a hook. Hope swore up and down last Friday their bout of bronchitis was over and begged and pleaded (and admittedly, screamed a little) for their parents to let them go out with Melody that night for their two month anniversary. They had agreed, on one condition, Hope wrap up a warm as humanly possible. And since their scarf was lost in her Bermuda triangle of a bedroom, Robin had agreed to let Hope borrow one of hers, only after making Hope look her in the eye and swear they were better now. And they did.

And now she’s here.

“Was there a goodnight smooch?” she pries, giggling again. She’s pretty sure the fever is causing her to regress to a schoolgirl.

“I don’t kiss and tell,” they say coyly, only to have realisation slowly dawn on them. “Um… I’m just going to check up on her. See if she’s… you know…”

“Caught your disease?”

“It’s not my disease!” they squeak indignantly, standing up and putting their bag on their shoulder. “Anyways I have to go. Mom will arrest me if I’m late for class again.”

“Can she do that? Is that in her jurisdiction?”

“No idea and I don’t want to find out,” they answer. “How do I look?” They gesture to their outfit; black and pink hair tucked into a deliberately messy braid, graphic t-shirt and paint-splattered denim dungarees with a plaid shirt over it. Complete with winged eyeliner and dark lipstick.

“Gorgeous,” she tells them. “Gorgeous and gay.”

“That’s the look I was going for. Anyway, chug orange juice and go to sleep. Because you look like shit and I don’t want you to look like that. I’ll see you later, Rob.”

“See you, Hopey.” Hope clicks off the call and the screen goes black. Robin puts her phone to the side, groaning as another coughing fit makes her bed shake and brings up more mucus. Green again. Lovely. She pulls the blankets tighter around herself, pressing her face into her pillow and begging Zeus (who she knows is real, god damn it) to just either fix her messed up body or let her go the hell to sleep.

She hates being sick. She always hated it. When she was younger her mum had to wrestle her from the front door, Robin all dressed in her school uniform and insisting she was going despite her chicken pox/vomiting/fever/whatever was wrong with her this time. She can think up a million and one deep explanations for it or she can be blunt and honest; it’s boring. Storybrooke even on a good day, as much as she loves it, is boring with its small town and days planned out to the second, two restaurants, one bar and one nightclub that barely qualifies as a club. But when she’s sick and confined to her bed, she finds herself desperate for anything to set her free, even just to stand in the woods and shoot arrows at a tree for half an hour.

When it’s clear sleep isn’t coming, she pushes herself out of the bed, her comforter still wrapped around her shoulders like her brother with his cape in the Enchanted Forest. She stuffs as many of the pills and medicine in the pocket of her onsie as she can before grabbing her water and making her way to the living room. She had planned to get a glass of juice from the fridge as well, but all she can do is collapse onto the couch and pant, the short walk from her bedroom to the living room having used up what little energy she had.

She grabs the remote and whacks on Netflix while chugging her water. Hopefully, a season or three of Brooklyn Nine Nine can distract her from herself.

It’s three hours later when Alice comes in and by then she’s feeling at least fifty percent worse. Her chest is aching, her throat is raw from coughing and despite the fact that she’s only gotten up once to get the carton of orange juice from the fridge (the glasses are up too high and getting one would involve breaking her blanket cocoon) and refill her water, she’s spent the last half an hour trying to catch her breath. In short, she’s miserable, and not even the human ball of sunshine she calls a girlfriend can make her feel better.

“Good afternoon, the beautiful light of my life, how are we feeling today?”

“I want to die.”

“No you don’t.” She plops down the plastic bag on the sofa and takes out her so-called remedies. “I brought you chocolate… I brought you headache pills… oh, and Hope told me to get you this.” She chucks a bottle of something blue, wincing a little when it hits her face. “Sorry, my love.”

“It’s fine,” she says. “My reflexes aren’t great right now.” She takes a look at the bottle, grateful when she sees Hope told Alice to buy her a smoothie and not some Enchanted Forest cure-all made from tree bark and frogs or something. “Thanks, Al.” Alice settles herself on the couch beside her, kicking off her boots and tucking her legs up underneath her. “How goes the dog shelter?”

After the whole curse business was over with, it wasn’t long before Alice realised she needed a new job. For one thing, real estate in Seattle is a bitch even when it’s a cursed neighbourhood and your landlord is Michael Banks, but there was more. Alice wasn’t a fan of having nothing to do, and she wasn’t used to it either. Her dad had kept her days in the tower choc-a-bloc full of activities (if her old diary is anything to go by, she barely had time to breathe). And despite how good she was at the beignet truck; that was only part time and it wasn’t capturing her imagination like Sheriffing did for Emma or teaching did for Snow. So when she saw an advert for a vacancy at a dog shelter, who was she to say no?

“Oh, it’s fun,” Alice says. “Lots of little puppers. We think Matilda’s nearly ready to give birth.”

“No way,” she says, taking a drink of the smoothie. Nectar of the gods, she thinks. “I remember when she first got pregnant. And you still don’t know who the father is?”

“Nope. She’s a frisky girl is our Matilda.” Robin chuckles and plays with her comforter. Alice turns to her, giving her the big, sad eyes she thinks only Alice is capable of, somehow wise beyond her years and innocently childlike at the same time. “How have you been, love?”

“Fine,” she sighs fondly, taking her girlfriend’s outstretched hand. “I sent some e-mails, I watched TV, I’ve been staying hydrated, I scolded Hope for making me sick-”

“Oh it’s not her fault,” she tells her. “Not really.”

“Uh, she lied and said she was better and then put my scarf around her bacteria ridden neck,” she points out. “I think that makes it her fault. Speaking of, have you heard from Melody at all today?”

“Melody as in Hope’s girlfriend, Melody?” Robin nods. “Can’t say that I have, why?”

“Because if our little Hopey planted one on her then the little mermaid probably has what I have.” She lets out another cough as if to prove her point. Thanks, universe, she thinks.

“You should really stop meddling in her love life,” Alice points out, opening the chocolate she’s pretty sure was meant for Robin and breaking a square off for herself. She then sheepishly hands her the bar and Robin takes it, unsure if she should be eating chocolate in her condition but hey, can’t hurt more than the bronchitis already does.

“I don’t meddle,” she says through two squares. “I’m just… you know… giving guidance.”

“Of course you are, my darling,” she says. “Now why don’t I make you some tea?”

“Ugh, please,” she sighs, not realising how much she wanted a cup until Alice had mentioned it. “Honey in it?”

“Anything for my honey.”

Not five minutes later they’re on the couch together, Alice pressed into Robin’s side. She feels kind of bad for not putting her arm around her, but again, that would involve breaking her blanket cocoon and she’s just not up for that. She can’t even hold her hand since both of hers are stuck inside the blanket and wrapped around her mug of tea.

If there’s an award for worst girlfriend ever, she wouldn’t win it per say, but she’d be a contender for sure.

Alice doesn’t seem to mind though. Not when she’s pressing kisses along her blanket-covered arms and shoulder and runs her fingers through her hair. Combined with Robin’s own illness-induced exhaustion, it’s almost enough to send her to sleep right on that sofa. Alice must have picked up on that, because she feels her lips, gentle and delicate, against her cheekbone and for a moment it’s nice.

And then it’s not.

“Woah, woah, wait,” she says, half wriggling away from her. Alice draws away quickly, her blue eyes wide, and if Robin wasn’t confined within a blanket, she’d kick herself. Their joint curse may be broken, but that doesn’t mean that the after-effects of what Gothel did to her father’s heart doesn’t hang around Alice and bleed into every other relationship she has. Robin wastes no time in pulling her hand out of the blanket and grasping Alice’s softly and gently squeezing it. “Hey, hey it’s okay. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I’m sorry,” she replies, a telltale flame of anxiety in her eyes. Robin’s thumb moves in soothing circles on the back of her hand, something that tends to bring Alice back to her. “I’m sorry I didn’t-”

“Alice,” Robin interrupts, caressing her cheek. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine. It’s just… this is crazy contagious, babe. I don’t want you to catch it.” Alice’s bad mood breaks immediately, her normal, crazy, wonderful smile gracing her face and Robin can breathe.

“Well you know, my love,” she begins, walking her fingers up her arm. “All that time in the tower gave me a wonderful immune system.”

“Did it?” she asks. “I’m not sure that’s how it works…”

“It is,” she says, resting her chin on Robin’s shoulder and looking up at her, all big sparkling eyes that scream “butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth”. Robin wonders how many times Rogers had to deal with those eyes.

“Maybe. But I don’t want to risk you getting sick. Okay babe?” And that’s what makes Alice nod and settle for resting her cheek on Robin’s shoulder, playing with her fingers gently, linking and unlinking them. Robin can’t stop a small noise of contentment in the back of her throat as she leans against the sofa, maybe, hopefully, finally getting that sleep she’s been craving all day.

Until Alice kisses her cheek again. Exhausted as she is, she thinks (hopes) that it’s a hallucination brought on my her drugged up, over-tired mind, until that stupid girl she’s in love with kisses her again, higher up this time, landing on her cheekbone.

“Alice!” she groans, opening one eye. Alice smiles bright as the sun and innocent as a rose. It’s adorable and it makes her briefly forget what she was going to say. Briefly. “Stop.” Her girlfriend pouts as Robin presses a finger to her cheek and pushes her back. “I’m contagious.”

“I’m sure you’re not, Nobin,” she says, rubbing her arm. “And maybe I won’t mind…” Her fingers crawl up Robin’s arm like a spider and before her muddled brain can register what’s happened, Alice kisses both her cheeks and manages to sneak a peck on her lips before Robin slaps her face away.

“No,” she orders sternly, poking Alice in the chest. “Or you’ll get sick too and I am not dealing with you being sick.”

“What’s wrong with me being sick?” she asks indignantly.

“Nothing,” she replies, taking a sip of her smoothie and neglecting to mention the time Alice got the flu and begged Robin to call the hospital, convinced she was dying. It was only her own lack of strength that stopped her from walking there herself. She turns on her side and looks up at her girlfriend, in all her unruly hair, wide eyed goofy grinned glory. Everything she loves. “Al… please. I just don’t want you to catch this. It’s not fun. Believe me.” She strokes a stray lock of hair away from her face and pokes at the dimple in her cheek. “As much as it is taking care of you, I don’t like seeing you in pain.” Her face softens and she leans into Robin’s touch. “Okay, babe?”

“Okay, my love,” she responds, tickling the inside of Robin’s hand with kisses. “Now come her, let me cuddle the nasty bronchitis.” Robin nestles her head into her favourite pillow (Alice’s lap) and sighs as Alice begins gentle running her fingers through her hair. She feels herself slipping further and further away, the sleep she’s been desperately craving finally coming as the sound from the TV fades to white noise. She makes a mental note to thank Alice for coming over to see her.

If she’s not sick by next week.

Robin winces as Alice lets out another hacking cough, followed by a long, pained groan. She sounds vaguely like a wounded animal. A wounded bunny. Robin came over the minute Alice called to cancel their date tonight, letting her dad go off to his shift at the station. She tied Alice’s hair back and even came prepared, giving her the hoodie she just loves stealing before making tea and switching on the TV for her.

She’s going to be such a great wife, she thinks proudly.

“So you’ll never guess who has bronchitis,” she says into the phone teasingly, sitting on the edge of the couch, her phone wedged between her shoulder.

“Okay let me guess,” Hope says on the other end. Of course she called Hope the second she found out what Alice had. “Could it be your girlfriend who, despite repeated warnings that you were a contagious little bitch, smooched your face like there was no tomorrow?”

“I do not have bronchitis!” Alice snaps weakly, burying herself under the blanket. “It’s just a little cold-”

Robin turns her phone on speaker just in time for Alice’s bi-hourly coughing fit, complete with green mucus staining the tissues.

“Yeah that sounds like bronchitis, babe,” Hope says on the other end of the phone. “I would know. I started this whole debacle.”

“Oh speaking of, how’s Melody?” Alice asks, half sarcastic. Robin clamps her hand over her mouth to muffle her laughter. “Papa said he saw your Ariel at the pharmacy yesterday.”

“Melody’s awesome,” Hope says flatly. “Melody’s doing great. Don’t worry about Melody. Anywho I have to go. Lacrosse practice.”

“Knock them dead!” Alice tells them between coughs.

“Do not knock anybody dead,” Robin says sternly. “See you later.”

“Bye. Tell your girlfriend she’s a dumb lesbian.” Robin laughs as the dial tone rings in her ear.

“Hope says you’re a dumb lesbian,” she says as she sits down beside Alice. Alice curls up tighter under her blanket, her face barely peeking out.

“Hope’s the dumbest lesbain,” she says, about as mean-spirited as a kitten eating a lollipop. She groans again, so high and so long that it borders on wining, and Robin tries and fails not to find it adorable. Even if the saddened look on her face does tear at her heart.

“Okay, come here. Come to Robin.” Alice shifts and shimmies in her blanket burrito until she’s semi-upright, enough at least for Robin to cuddle her and kiss the fabric of her hood (not her face, as she knows). Her bony shoulders poke against Robin’s chest as she tries to get comfortable and her hand pokes out of the sleeve to take hers.

“You were right,” Alice admits, playing with Robin’s fingers. “I should have left you alone.”

“Well… not leave me alone, per say,” she replies, nuzzling into her head, feeling the wild mane beneath her hoodie. “Having you around sure helped me get better. And who else was going to make me tea and bring me chocolate?” She feels Alice’s smile, despite her burrowing so far into her jumper that only her eyes are visible.

“Nevertheless,” she begins, her voice scratchy and teetering on sleep. “I promise I’ll listen to you from now on.”

“No you won’t,” Robin says fondly, kissing the tip of her finger and tapping it on Alice’s nose. Her face scrunches up and her eyes flutter shut. Her shoulders drop and Robin knows she’s fast asleep by now, but that doesn’t stop her talking. “And I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

#curious archer #curious archer ff #ouat #robin mills #alice jones #ouat ff

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atamascolily · 4 years

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lily liveblogs: BBC Atlantis 1x03, “A Boy of No Consequence”

Welcome back to the BBC Atlantis liveblog! Previously introduced:

THE HERO: Jason. Originally from Atlantis, raised on Earth and recently returned. Confused as hell about everything. Killed the Minotaur and now on the royal shitlist. Daddy issues and a mysterious macguffin amulet. Shirts optional.

THE LANCER: Hercules. 'Nuff said.

THE SMART GUY: Pythagoras. The triangle guy. NERD. I love him.

THE BIG BAD: King Minos and Queen Pasiphae, rulers of Atlantis. The Minotaur is supposedly Minos's fault, but so far the show has been mum about bull-fucking, so it's not clear how true the show is going to stay to the myth.

THE LOVE INTEREST: Ariadne, daughter to the above. Smitten with Jason on account of his good looks (because let's face it, they haven't had much time to talk yet). Maybe she and Jason can bond over daddy issues?

SOURCE OF CRYPTIC EXPOSITION: The Oracle. Knows more than she's telling Jason... for his own protection. Prone to cryptic utterances and killing chickens.

ATLANTIS: A city that is NOT under the ocean, despite the fact that Jason traveled there in a sub. (I really hope it was called the Argo, but I forgot to check.) Has no leash-laws for two-headed dragons, an abundance of watermelons in the marketplace, and guards with surprisingly good aim--also, hunting lions, because why not?

I had to skip episode 2, so this is going to be fun. Let's see what I missed!

In the marketplace, Herc is crushing on Medusa [introduced in the last episode] and Pythagoras and Jason are trying to bring him down gently. They stop to help an old man with an overturned cart, and an Asshole Authority Figure I don't recognize shows up and smacks the old man around for blocking his way (just in case we were wondering whether we were supposed to like him). Jason intervenes and they fight, but the other guy has guards, so Jason gets arrested. Just another day in Atlantis!

All of the credits are still backwards and I hate it, but at least there's an actual opening sequence this time!

Cut to Pythagoras and Herc standing in the jail along with Jason. Pythagoras introduces the Asshole Authority as "Heptarion" so I'm forgiven for not knowing who he is. He's Pasiphae's nephew.

Cut to the three of them kneeling in front of the throne in chains, and Ariadne's standing there watching, and I think... she finds this hot. Minos and Pasiphae are all like "You again?" because this probably is going to happen every episode.

Minos threatens Jason with a death curse. Jason yells, and it doesn't go well. Herc tries to explain Jason's a tourist and doesn't know any better, and then calls on the whole Minotaur business as a chance for mercy. So Minos claims he's going to leave it to Poseidon.

Pasiphae asks if Ariadne likes Jason. Ariadne lies, and Pasiphae calls her on it. Ariadne says "You're not my mom," and OH SNAP, this explains A LOT, ACTUALLY. Ariadne's promised to Heptarion, so this is SUPER AWKWARD. Ariadne asks if Pasiphae would intervene with Minos, and Pasiphae punts and says it's up to the gods. Ariadne says she'll pray for Jason, then.

Herc claims that was the last time he'll ever help Jason, but he is a LIAR and also a HUGE SOFTIE, so I call bullshit.

IT'S THE RUNNING OF THE BULLS. Or at least of some sort of matador thing in a ring with a giant bull and people leaping over it with epic leaps. Everybody on a "team" has to survive in order to be free. Pythagoras talks about probability, because he is, as I've mentioned before, a NERD.

Their other team members are an African warrior who gives Pythagoras the side-eye and a girl who doesn't want to eat her food, so Herc steals it. There's also a random dude who picks a fight with the warrior.

Heptarion and Pasiphae meet for plotting and gossip about Ariadne and Jason. The team practices leaping over a practice bull. Herc trips and doesn't make it over, as Heptarion and Pasiphae watch. Pythagoras says that the queen is rumored to be a witch. Jason leaps perfectly, and everyone's amazed, no less Jason. Heptarion realizes his rival is harder to kill than he thought, but Pasiphae plans to help.

The girl cuts Jason's hair while he sleeps, which the random dude on their team sees. VOODOO MAGIC TIME.

The next day, the team watches someone get killed in the practice ring. The random dude baits the warrior, and we learn he's a Nubian prince! Jason tries to play peacemaker and suggests they band together, but nobody's buying it. They go into the ring and Jason tries to strategize but nobody listens.

Jason calls the bull to him and it LISTENS. Jason does his run thing and falls to the ground. The girl yells at the bull and so do the others to keep him from a fallen Jason. TEAMWORK. Pythagoras and Herc carry Jason off the field and it turns out it was all a ruse to get the team to work together. Jason, you little schemer.

Herc hides under the table rather than let his ex-girlfriend catch sight of him. The Nubian prince says he has 3 wives and 7 kids, and he wishes he could go home. Jason tries to talk to the girl who won't eat and give her food and a pep talk. She starts to spill the hair thing and then runs away. Pasiphae does some VOODOO MAGIC.

The random dude, Cyrus, confronts the girl about the hair thing. The guy in charge interrupts before she can tell him anything. Cyrus tells the guy in charge what he saw, and gets stabbed for his trouble. So I guess there's only gonna be five people on the team?

(Note: all of the other characters have names, I just can't always understand what they are without subtitles.)

The trio know foul play when they see it. Jason goes to comfort the girl, and she confesses what she did in exchange for her freedom. (I assume they're going to double-cross her and kill her, because that's what happened to Cyrus.) Pythagoras has to explain the whole voodoo thing to Jason.

Herc mocks Jason's tase in women, specifically Ariadne. Jason protests they have barely talked, and I agree, but those long soulful gazes SPEAK VOLUMES. Herc calls Pythagoras "a fool with no knowledge of women" and this show is really not helping with the slash shipping here.

Heptarion tries to chat up Ariadne at the dinner table and it fails because Ariadne is such a killjoy and doesn't enjoy watching people die in front of her. You know, she's a weirdo like that.

Pythagoras suggests enlisting Medusa to steal the hair back. Herc objects because Love. Pythagoras has another idea, and it's Herc's ex-girlfriend! Herc chats up his ex, and convinces her to take a note to Medusa. I guess people can read in this show? News to me, but okay.

The next morning, they go out to the ring. Jason's not wearing a shirt, because... reasons? Medusa sneaks in to the queen's bedroom and there's so much furniture I'm pretty sure that's not period, only to get nearly caught by the queen. But she does spy the secret ritual room, so there's that.

Epic sandal montage/power walk into the bull ring with the Squad. No, Jason is not wearing a shirt, why do you ask? He and Ariadne make eyes at each other, as Minos makes a speech about how this is totally not rigged. They chant the ritual phrases and get to it. PLAY BALL.... or PLAY BULL, rather.

Pasiphae stabs the voodoo doll and Jason crumbles in pain. The Nubian prince does a badass leap! And he's not even the protagonist! Herc yells at the bull to keep it away from Jason and does a less badass leap... but he does make it, and the crowd cheers anyway. The girl distracts the bull and leaps! The crowd cheers. The guy in charge looks pissed.

Just as Pasiphae is about to stab Jason's head, Medusa makes a noise / sets something on fire? Pasiphae runs out, and Medusa grabs the poppet. Now Jason is better! Jason gives Pythagoras a pep talk, since he also has to leap in order for them to win. Pythagoras's leap has no grace whatsoever, but he does it... which is better than I would do under the circumstances, let's be honest. He's so thrilled!!

Of course, Jason goes last because DRAMA. His flip is the best, because he's the LEAD, but I argue that the Nubian prince is more impressive because he's actually, you know, PRACTICED, instead of being just MAGICALLY TALENTED AND ALL.

They win! Ariadne loves Jason even more! Group hug for the five members of the team! Atlantis loves them! Minos tries to put a good face on it. They're free! Medusa yells out to Hercules and waves. She saved them all and didn't get caught! Nice!

Pasiphae tries to be nice to Ariadne, and she's not buying it. Pasiphae's all like, This is why being nice never works.

The Nubian prince is going to return the girl to her village and then go home. He invites the trio to visit, so I guess we'll see him again?? I hope so, I like him. The marketplace is still full of watermelons and Herc is convinced that Medusa returns his affections because she saved their lives and... sigh. Okay, then.

Anyway, all's well that ends well (I guess), but I have so many questions. Do any of these characters actually have jobs? What do they do for money? Are they going to get hauled before Minos and Pasiphae for not paying rent in the next episode? What does the Oracle think about all this? What happened to the two-headed dragons? Where are all the watermelons coming from? Does anybody in Atlantis actually buy them or do they just sit on that one dude’s cart and that’s why it’s always so full? Are the main characters going to go back to square one by the end of every episode or will the plot actually build on something? Will Jason and Ariadne actually talk to each other, or will they continue to gaze soulfully across the throne room while Jason’s a Very Naughty Boy Who Must Be Punished?

Apparently, the preview for the next episode makes it very clear it will be A BABY EPISODE, so we’ll see how many of these questions are answered.

#lily liveblogs #bbc atlantis

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kyndaris · 4 years

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Date with Destiny (with a Capital D)

When I watched the announcement at E3 about Final Fantasy VII Remake, I was terribly excited. Though the Final Fantasy series has been one of my favourites since I first played Final Fantasy X, I have never actually played the original Final Fantasy VII.Instead, I read everything I could find and watched walkthroughs (including Dirge of Cerberus) as well as the film: Advent Children and Advent Children Complete. When Crisis Core released on PlayStation Portable (PSP), I also bought that to immerse myself in the entirety of the Final Fantasy VII universe. And when I told one of my close friends, Bleachpanda, about it, they were surprised that I had never played the original. But while I could have purchased the re-release on the PlayStation 4, I wanted to see the game that had captured the imagination of so many people in high definition quality.

As most people in Australia know, the game released a whole nine days earlier than it was supposed to: on 1st of April. After I had mistakenly taken the express train, I was perusing my messages and saw my friend post her excitement that Final Fantasy VII Remake was out. Immediately, I used my situation to my advantage and went to buy the game - despite the fact that I had no facial mask and was entering a shopping centre with a possible high risk of infection. After sweating up a storm by rushing to all the stores, I finally had the copy in hand.

However, it would not be until I had finished Yakuza 4 that I could begin my journey with Cloud and the Avalanche team. Suffice it to say, I was incredibly excited. From the score to Cloud’s lovely cheekbones. In fact, I could not believe my good fortune that I was actually playing the game. It didn’t seem real that I would have in my hands despite the ongoing pandemic. From there, my hype built as I defeated the Scorpion sentinel and moved on to the Seventh Heaven. When Tifa’s theme sounded, I had to resist the urge to shed a tear.

I might not have played the original, but gosh darn it, I loved the characters as much as any fan.

Even the little details were so exciting to see. Though there were several changes to the game, it was clear that the developers loved the game as much as its fans did. I liked how Cloud and the gang kept their victory poses for when they were in the Coliseum. The up-scaled Church, the bar, Wall Market and Aerith’s house. Learning more about many of the side characters also helped build a solid connection to them. From Jessie’s tragic backstory of her dad collapsing in Mako storage in her debut as the role of Princess at the Golden Saucer (goodness me, if she knew about the shenanigans of Cloud and the rest of the party, she’d probably throw a fit), to Bigg’s contribution to the Sector 5 orphanage. This even extended to the differences in Tifa’s and Aerith’s cleavage sizes. Not that I was paying particular attention...

Okay, maybe a little. But I’m glad that they also gave appropriate footwear and gear for the characters.

But my goodness, that pull-up challenge took me fifty minutes! It wasn’t even in the original! And the trophy did not feel worth it after how difficult Jules was. Never again!

Then the characters also called me out for going in the wrong direction. I’m not! I’m trying to explore every nook and cranny of this world Square-Enix has bequeathed us and to find as many items as I can find!

The combat, though, was the one that had the most changes. Gone is the turn-based battle system. While players can play on classic, according to my friend Bleachpanda, it was less than exciting. Particularly when the AI just stood around guarding most of the time. As for me, I played on Normal Mode. The battle mechanics felt like they used bits and pieces from other games: such as Final Fantasy XV and Final Fantasy XIII. It also incorporated elements of the original Active Time Battle system, but I found it frustrating that all of my more powerful abilities, and even items, were gated behind a slowly rising bar - particularly for the AI-controlled party members. Of course, Final Fantasy VII Remake also allowed players to switch between members and I found I had to do this on a fairly regular basis depending on the battle.

Also, your ATB abilities, spells and item usages could also be interrupted. This proved particularly frustrating in difficult battles where I was hoping to take advantage of an enemy’s weakness, only to be batted to the side because of an air attack.

It also felt, on numerous fights, that I had to think of these battles less like a turn-based battle and more like an action adventure, hack and slash. Instead of just absorbing spells and attacks, I needed to evade and guard. This was clearly evident in several solo battles with Roche and even Rufus Shinra. I had to read attack patterns, avoid some of their deadly moves and strike when they had an opening. All the while, trying to keep my ATB gauge up and ready for some quick healing or spell casting.

Let’s move on now to the characters and the story. But where to begin? How about the ending that proved incredibly divisive among many fans. My friend, Bleachpanda, was sorely disappointed by the presence of the Whispers and how the last two chapters transpired. She, unlike me, had been banking on nostalgia to pull her and was more excited to seeing the original recreated in perfect high definition. If you read her posts on Final Fantasy VII Remake you will learn that she was mightily disappointed that how Cloud manages to obtain his dress was very different (although she probably still liked our ex-Soldier shaking his tush on stage. Heck, I think everyone was channelling Aerith and shouting at our screens for Cloud to work it).

The whole talk of destiny and changing fate, though, probably left many fearing that the rest of the Final Fantasy VII Remake would be a very different beast from their childhoods. What with talk about alternate timelines and the possibility of time travel. As well as that last parting shot of Zack Fair. In fact, there are plenty of videos on YouTube that try to explain the ending.

Now, I profess, time travel has always sat ill with me. And Square-Enix has not always used it well. The first Bravely Default comes to mind as does Kingdom Hearts 3 and the time loops of Type-0. Or even what they tried to do with the Final Fantasy XIII franchise. All those retcons in FFXIII-2 made me wonder if it was all worth it. Lightning’s character development in the first game was all but forgotten and rehashed over Lightning Returns. Still, as this was mostly penned by the original writer (though people will still blame Nomura), I feel like much of the motivations and several story beats will remain the same. The settings will also not change and I am eager to see Cosmo Canyon, Nibelheim, Junon and so many other places.

In saying that, though, I’m not sure if Aerith will die. Or if she does, whether it will have the same shocking effect that it did in the original. Of course, by now, everyone and their mothers know what to expect and perhaps this was a way for Square Enix to keep players on their toes. What about Cloud falling into the Lifestream and Tifa trying to sort out his memories from the false persona he created? The slap fight between Tifa and Scarlet? My friend, Bleachpanda, just wants to see Professor Hojo surrounded by girls that are trying to flirt with him. Who knows. It might happen. Or it might not. Hence why so many are terrified at the direction of the new games.

The rest of the narrative, however, proved just as exciting with a few little additions along the way. Sephiroth appearing, though, in the second chapter threw me for a loop, even though I appreciated the foreshadowing. Chapter 4 was all devoted to learning and bonding more with the other members of Avalanche. I very much liked their expanded roles, although casting Gideon Emery as Biggs was a bit of a distraction as I could clearly hear his Balthier trying to break through, particularly in the earlier scenes. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Balthier. And Biggs is quite good looking himself.

This whole Midgar portion of the game also remained mostly faithful to the original Final Fantasy VII and its timeline. It also made things a little more realistic and showed fans of the original, more sides of the characters they had come to love. Also, I like that despite the love triangle being set up between Cloud, Tifa and Aerith, there was a strong sense of camaraderie among the girls. They lifted each other up rather than tear each other down. Even Jessie was trying to get in on the action with all the flirting she did. In fact, I just wanted to ship Aerith and Tifa for the long haul.

What I also thought cute was the little swear the left Aerith’s lips when the ladder fell and Cloud had to help lift her up. It was also comical to see Cloud try to pull his Buster Sword out when confronted by one of the other Sephiroth clones and having it catch on the door jam.

Barret, on the other hand, was a little preachy in the first few chapters. There can be no denying his love for Marlene, but it grated on me how much exposition he provided on the train ride back to Sector 7. Still, once we finally get into the meat of the games, I would love to see all their backstories, cry when appropriate and cheer for them when they finally emerge victorious.

I also liked many of the environmental story telling. Particularly in Chapter 2 and seeing the aftermath of what Avalanche’s actions had done. Granted, Heidegger and President Shinra had a hand in it, but it was clear that Jessie and many others were devastated by the damage they had wrought. It was also gut-wrenching to see the remains of Sector 7 after the plate fell. Reeve, in the form of Cait Sith, tried and failed to save the people and even though he was controlling an animatronic cat, you could still see his devastation.

Overall, I have to say that I enjoyed my time with Final Fantasy VII Remake. By the time the game ended, I felt a little bereft, wanting to see more of each character and really dive down deep into their psych. Just like before, Tifa is much more reticent and closed off. It warmed my heart that in Hojo’s lab, Aerith asked Tifa if she was okay. As someone who is also similarly guarded, it’s good to know that someone else cares. Red XIII was also a great addition in the last two chapters, though it was a shame we could not play as him.

The ending might have left a sour taste in the mouths of many, but I know that I, for one, am eager to see where the unknown journey takes us next and seeing old familiar faces. We still have Cid, Yuffie and Vincent to find! Also, Marlene is so cute and precious and must be protected at all costs.

#video games #final fantasy vii: remake #FFVII #Final Fantasy

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cruecifymesixx · 5 years

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Love and Leather /part thirty nine/

Word count: 3.2k

A/N: Okay, so this chapter and the next chapter i post all take place in the same day/night, I didn’t want to post it all together as it would be way too long! But enjoy, let me know what you think!

Warnings: Language, booze, love triangle

Taglist: @brideofdraculana , @xstarryeyes , @aryssav , @miserablecunt @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol , @inthebackofmycarlaytheirbodies, @fandomshit6000, @anntheboneless, @venus-calum, @justjodeye, @supernaturalvikingwhore, @are-we-real, @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39, @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland, @dillightfulpickle, @baiabouk @awesomealmostdopestudent, @martabastic, @romanticvengeance @tashy-bear @krazykatkay456 @terror-triplet @shouttatthedevill @beachystars @rodriguez025 @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie , @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls, @rockersbox, @brooklyn-antiques, @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, @lilytalebi, @criminalyetminimal, @motley-queen, @trapt-in-a-dream, @lunamadhatter99, @broke-n-bitchy, @thanks2pete, @slowandangry, @lovesick-heart0, @keepcalm-and-beyou, @miriampraez, @teenwolflover28, @lilyhw1, @swoopygorl, @motherloovebone, @random-internet-user-4471, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001, @wheresmyvodkabitch, @waywardprincess666, @malibubarbievince, @iluvmesomemarvelndc, @marvelismylifffe, @zoenicoles, @pfft-halsey, @vamprlestat, @supersoldierballerina, @primal-screamer, @electradestiny, @marshbev, @n0-sh0rtage-0f-faults, @cruebaby, @ggorehorror, @valentines-in-london, @miss2001babe, @nassauartist, @emmaelizabeth2014, @cmft-jr-winchester, @bokkie92, @notworthyofyou1120, @xrosegoldwolfx, @cranberribread

Slash held my hand tightly as we walked onto the stage. I looked across the stage, seeing Motley practicing their songs. Slash fumbled with my hand, my attention was brought back to him. He has such a sweet smile.

“Angel, c’mere. Have you ever played the guitar?” He questioned as I sat down on his lap, he placed the guitar right in front of me.

“Only the drums. T-bone has showed me a few times.” I smiled looking over at him joking with Nikki and Vince. He waved at me, motioning me to come over. I saw Nikki punch him in the chest and tell him something, he quickly stopped.

“Well here...” he said grabbing my hands and placing them where they needed to be.

“Shouldn’t you be practicing?” I asked him, he let out a laugh and kissed the side of my head, “We already practiced earlier today, we just come to see how good they sound.”

“Which is never good...” Duff mumbled under his breath, as him and Axl laughed. Izzy minded his own business, same with Steven as they both tuned their own instruments.

“Maybe if they were less fucked up they would sound better, like does Nikki even know how to play the bass? I heard he fakes it the whole time and it’s just a recording of Mick on bass instead.” Duff pointed out, “Slash...” I gave him a look, he squeezed my hips.

“Alright Duff, c’mon. Those are her friends. Be nice.” Slash told them, as he simmered down.

“Just move your fingers like this...” he tried teaching me but I wasn’t into it.

“Surprised Nikki is even letting you over here.” Axl pointed out, taking a sip of beer and rolling a joint between his finger tips.

“I’m gonna go get something to drink.” I rolled my eyes, pushing his hands off of me and getting off his lap.

I walked over to a table that had drinks and snacks, I opted for just having a water. I turned around to go back to Slash but T-bone was blocking my way.

“Personal space, dude.” I teased, putting my hand on his chest and pushing him back, “Why the hell are you over there with them?”

He asked, folding his arms across his torso as he twirled a drumstick.

“I’m pretty sure you know why already.” I rolled my eyes, taking a sip of water.

“You need to say sorry. He’s fucking up his parts, and he’s not even high yet. I mean, he was this morning but it wore off already.” Tommy explained as I laughed.

“Why should I apologize? It’s his fault. He’s an asshole. He threw a picture of us at my fucking head, T-bone.” I shook my head as I tried walking away from him, his arm wrapping around my waist stopped that from happening.

“Okay...he left that out-“ I interrupted him “of course he fucking did.” I rolled my eyes, looking over at him.

He kept stopping every few seconds as I could tell he was starting to get frustrated with the music. I caught him looking over at T-bone and I, but he quickly looked away.

“I mean, you were pushing the whole abandoning parents thing and you know how he is about that...” Tommy trailed off as I let out a dissatisfied grunt.

“And that makes it okay to scream and get violent?” I expressed, rolling my eyes.

“What’s going on with you and Slash?” Tommy questioned, I shrugged, “Don’t start that with me too...I’m allowed to talk to other guys.” I pointed out but he just looked down at me. He was reading right through my bullshit.

“Don’t give me that look. Nikki isn’t my boyfriend, Tommy and you know that.”

He uncrossed his arms from his chest, putting his hands on his scrawny hips as he continued to stare at me.

“What!? He’s not. Nikki Sixx is a casual fuck who-“

“Who admitted how he felt about you, and now you’re just fucking around with Slash.” Tommy spat out at me.

“I am not fucking around with Slash, we went on one date. That was it.” I explained to him, watching him stick his drumsticks underneath his belt.

“One date, yeah, right. You haven’t even said hi to us the whole day because he’s had you wrapped around his finger. Be careful with this dude, Van. You barely know him and we barely know him too.” Tommy expressed his concerns.

“Thank you for caring, but I’m a big girl and I can handle it myself, now if you could excuse me. He was showing me the guitar.” I said trying to walk past him, but he stepped in my way.

“T-bone. Quit it.” I said, trying to step to the side of him, but he again moved in front of me.

“Oh? The guitar? So you’ll let him show you the guitar but won’t let Nikki show you the bass?” He smirked as I shook my head.

“It’s just a damn instrument.” I huffed, not seeing the big deal out of it.

“Show you the guitar now, maybe his bed later?” Tommy smirked, I smacked his chest, “T-bone, stop it. You’re being a jerk.” I rubbed my arm, as I looked down at the floor.

“Just relax, Princess. Come hang out with us for a little bit.” Tommy said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder, dragging me across the stage.

“Oh, look royalty has graced us.” Vince joked as he stuck his tongue out at me.

“Shut up, you Malibu Barbie.” I was quick to respond, he choked on his soda and stared at me.

Mick, Tommy and even Nikki chuckled, I sat down in between Nikki and Mick, crossing my legs as I listened to them.

“Since you’re in with GNR, I need you to get me some secrets..” Vince said, fumbling around with his shirt, “I’m not in with them.” I said quietly, listening to the deep strum of Nikki’s bass.

“Oh please, that curly haired motherfucker is so pussy whipped right now, and you haven’t even given him a taste...I mean I don’t think you have at least.” Vince explained, I felt all their eyes on me including Nikki’s as he stopped playing.

“I haven’t. And I’m not.” I spoke out, as they all looked at Nikki.

Nikki exhaled deeply as he leaned his bass against the amp.

“You coming to dinner still?” He said quietly as he looked at me, I didn’t say anything just nodded.

“Cool..” His voice was monotone, “if it’s okay with you...” i said, reaching over and plucking the strings of his bass.

“Yeah, whatever. I don’t care, do what you want.” His voice was low, but it was full of anger.

“I’m sorry...” I mumbled as he stood up, “I don’t want to hear it, Van.” He snapped at me, “Guys, c’mon.” Vince said quietly.

“Hey Angel, you ready? You wanted me to take you back to your place so you can get ready, right?” Slash waltzed up to us, a sly smirk on his face.

“You wanted to show me that new dress you got today?” I felt my cheeks heat up. Tommy and Vince laughed with each other, Nikki on the other hand was glaring at me.

“I’ll uh, see you guys later.” I said quietly, grabbing Slash’s hand as he held it out for me. I turned around to look back at Nikki but Slash was quick to take my attention away from him.

When Slash dropped me off at my house, he tried getting out of the car but I grabbed his wrist, “do you mind if I meet you there? I kinda take a while to get ready...” I questioned, giving him a sweet smile and batting my eyelashes at him.

“I...uh, yeah that’s fine. I’ll see you there then.” He breathed out, sitting back into the seat.

I gave him a quick peck on the cheek, his face forming into a smile.

I got out of his car, waving bye to him as I walked inside.

*A few hours later*

I took off my jacket as I walked into the restaurant, going straight to the back table as I could hear the rowdiness already.

I smoothed out my dress, smiling at everyone who said hello to me. My smile disappeared when I realized every seat was taken. The only seat that was available was next to Nikki, as I would usually be sitting in it.

I walked over to Tommy, “Hey Princess! You’re late!” He said as he gave me a kiss on the cheek. I gripped his shoulders and lowered my lips to his ear.

“Switch me seats, now.” I demanded, as I saw his face scrunch up before taking a sip of his beer.

“Uh, that’s a no from me. I already ordered food, maybe you should of been here on time.” He said, raising his eyebrow.

“T-bone, please I can’t sit by him.” I whined, giving him my best puppy dog eyes.

“Pout all you want princess, it’s not happening. This isn’t middle school. Go sit down.” Tommy said, kissing my cheek again, “Good luck.” He added on before laughing.

“I hate you so god damn much.” I whispered into his ear before pinching the back of his neck.

I took dreadful steps to the other side of the table. He wasn’t conversing with anyone around him, just staring mindlessly at the table.

I sat down in the chair next to him, scooting over so I wouldn’t touch him. I could literally feel the anger radiating off of him.

He ignored me completely, as he looked at his menu. I did the same as he did. Out of the corner of my eye, I seen him close the menu and push it in front of him. He leaned back in the chair, lighting a cigarette.

We both ordered our food one at a time, “May I also get a jack and coke, please? Can you be quick about it too?” I asked the waitress, “I’ll take one too.” Nikki butted in.

I picked at my nails, thinking I need to get a fill in the next few days. I readjusted my bracelet, the bracelet Nikki gave me. I just, I never take it off anymore. I listened to everyone else’s conversations, him and I were the only ones not talking at the entire table.

I felt Nikki’s eyes on me, “drinking already?” He mumbled. I sighed, tapping my fingers against the table, “Could say the same thing to you.” I retorted as I glanced over at him, seeing that stupid dumb smirk on his lips.

I soon felt his ringed knuckle running down the middle of my back, “Sorry for throwing the picture frame.” He grumbled, making me roll my eyes, “No, you’re not.”

I thanked the waiter as she handed me my drink, before she bent over, leaning between me and Nikki and putting his drink right in front of him

I saw his eyes travel down the waitress’s provocatively short black skirt, “When’s your next break?”

I clenched my jaw, taking the straw out of the glass and sipping on it.

“Not for another hour, sweetie.” She said, running her hand over Nikki’s shoulder, her fingers playing with the necklace around his neck.

“Shame, I guess I’ll just have to wait an hour to see you out of that uniform.” Nikki winked at her, his eyes quickly darting over to me.

I grabbed the glass, chugging the rest of it as I put it in her face, “Get me another one, now.” I demanded as she gave me a dirty look, but it went away when she looked back at Nikki, “I’ll let you know.” She said, before rudely snatching the glass out of my hands.

I looked at Tommy as he was cracking up, “oh, man. How many is that today, Sixx?” I exhaled as I glared over at T-bone, then back at the waitress when she came over, slamming the glass down in front of me.

“Uhhh....I don’t know man, I have to think for a moment.” Nikki said, giggling with Tommy as they both reached over the table and gave one another a high five.

I turned my head, seeing Slash smile at me, I smiled back as he gave me a wink. He was across from me, but next to Vince, who was next to T-bone.

“Vanity, you look stunning.” Slash spoke out , I heard Nikki stop laughing instantly, “Thank you, handsome.” I gave him a flirty smile as he smirked.

“Yeah, She always looks pretty.” Nikki butted in. I had to bite down on my lip to not laugh at his obvious jealousy, I could see him gripping the cup so hard his knuckles were turning white.

“I’m sorry, but don’t you have a waitress to be talking too?” I asked, turning my head to look at him. He narrowed his eyes as he glared at me.

“Yeah, well she’s working and you’re sitting here, so, I’ll take my chances.” He replied, blowing the cigarette smoke in my direction.

I scoffed as I took a sip of my drink, “Yeah, just keep yourself occupied by any chick, right?” I asked, laughing bitterly as I shook my head.

“How about you go suck him off under the table and occupy your god damn mouth? Hm.” I furrowed my eyebrows in disgust as I stomped on his foot under the table, “You are such an asshole!” I shouted quietly as he grunted and gently kicked my foot away from his.

“T-bone, waitress makes it ten. And if our sweet little princess over here can stop being a brat, it will make it eleven.” Nikki spoke out, Tommy didn’t laugh this time.

”You’re a fucking pig, Nikki.” I rolled my eyes at his gross remarks.

“Damn right, babe.” He says proudly, blowing smoke in my face yet again.

“I wouldn’t be so mad if she was actually pretty. But she isn’t, you’re lowering your standards.” I said, looking over at her and judging.

“You’ve lowered yourself plenty.” He said, snorting with laughter, “To sleep with you? Yeah, I’d say so.” I smiled as I pressed the glass to my lips. Seeing his face go from amusement to embarrassment was a pure pleasure.

“Tommy, switch places.” Nikki said, his eyes glaring as they didn’t leave mine.

“Tommy, don’t switch places. Or I’m telling Heather about your little escapades the other night with those three girls.” I said, braking the gaze and looking over to him.

“T-bone...” Nikki growled, “I...I uh...sorry man.” Tommy said, before finishing off his cocktail.

“You wouldn’t, that’s against club rules and you know that.” Nikki whisper shouted at me, I shrugged, roughly pushing his hair out of his face and gripping it. His eyes went dark as he stared me down, his eyes slowly drifting down my dress.

“Guess I can cross a junkie bass player off my list and move on to the next one. I think Slash is fitting, don’t you-“

I jumped in my seat when Mick slammed his empty glass down on the table. Me and Nikki looked over at him, “Can we have a god damn meal without it turning into a fucking show? If I wanted to watch two kids being fucking stupid, I’d turn on MTV! So both of you shut your mouths and eat.”

Everyone was staring at me and Nikki, “Excuse me..” I said quietly, getting up and walking out to the outside bar and smoking a cigarette.

*Nikki’s POV*

I watched Van walk away from the table, seeing her go sit outside on a bench and lighting a cigarette.

“Thanks Mick, was getting tired of Nikki being an asshole to her.” Slash smirked at me from across the table as he put in his two cents.

“Shut up, you curly haired mop.” Mick grumbled, thanking the waitress as she brought him back a glass of vodka in the rocks.

I watched Slash get up from the table, throwing his napkin on his plate as he went outside to comfort her.

“He has a fucking death wish.” I grumbled, pushing out from the table and standing up, “Hey I’m on my-“ the waitress stopped me, “Yeah, sorry change of plans. Thanks for the offer though.” I said, shoving past her as I walked outside.

Vanity stepped away from Slash when she saw me come outside, he turned around and looked at me.

“What more could you possibly have to fucking say to her? All you do is make shit worse every time you open your mouth.”

I ignored him, “Van, can we just talk?” I asked her softly, “Please?”

I was caught off guard by a shove from Slash, “Hey man, I’m talking to you.” He said, getting in between me and her.

“Don’t fucking put your hands on me, don’t you know who I am? You’re on my god damn tour, so I’d fucking watch it if I were you.” I threatened him as he let out an amused laugh.

“Don’t threaten my band, you signed contracts with us. You can’t just kick us off.” I smirked at his foolish comments.

“Yeah, keep it up and there won’t be proof of one. I can make all this disappear just like that.” I warned him, noticing Vanity try to get in the middle of us. I felt her hand go around my wrist, but I pulled away from her.

“Keep it up? There wasn’t anything saying I couldn’t date a girl you knew. Clearly she has more fun with me than she does with you.” Slash said, motioning to her.

“Guys, stop it. We’re in public.” Vanity said, getting in between us.

Slash tugged her to the side, “You’re just gonna ruin the rest of your tour because of some pussy? My bands the hottest thing right now, you’d be completely stupid to do that.”

I saw Van rub her arm from where he pulled on her, I shoved him away from me, “Shes not some piece of meat, she’s a fucking person! Don’t ever fucking grab her like that again, understand me!?” I shouted in his face.

“I don’t give a fuck if you’re band is the hottest thing right now! You think Mötley Crüe needs you? Your band is where it’s at now because of we let you on the tour, so fucking watch it.” I continued, only for him to push me back, harder this time.

“You don’t even treat her like a person either so don’t try to act like a fucking saint. I’ve heard what you’ve done to her! You’re an actual walking piece of shit, hope that heroin problem you have going on puts you out of your god damn misery.”

Vanity put a hand on my chest, a hand on his and pushed us both away, “That’s enough!! Both of you shut the hell up!

I glared at him, “please?” She whispered, I looked down at her and nodded, “I’m going back on the arena. I’m not hungry. And you stay the fuck away from me.” I warned Slash as he smirked.

I walked away from them both, brushing off Tommy as he tried consoling me when I walked past him.

I’m so fucking over this tour, and we haven’t even left Los Angeles yet.

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chinatea · 5 years

Text

Personas pirates a/b/o au! headcanon.

It’s loosely inspired by Black Sails and AC4: Black Flag. Takes place in Nassau from the alternative universe populated by the Korean people apparently.

Multi-couples.

(Sajeon also posted a pirate-y HC today and I swear that’s a total coincidence. I totally have no secret backdoor into your mind, Sajeon...or have I?)

------------

Who-is-who:

BG (Jiyeon, omega, 27): was seduced as a teen by a noble who lusted over him and after the said noble had enough of him, he lost BG in a game of cards to the slavers who took him all the way to the other side of the world (Nassau) and sold him to a local brothel there. Despite the tragic hand that the fate had dealt him, BG is nothing if not a master of making the best of his circumstances. If he was forced to become a whore, then he’d become the most coveted whore there is. But he became much more than that, the whole pirate’s corner of the world became his playground and he knew how to play the game better than anybody. The Queen-bee of the salty dogs, if you please.

Tattoo (Junghwan, alpha, 25): the saltiest dog there is. He is of noble origin, but found himself stifled by the life that awaited him as the oldest son, when all he wanted to do is to carouse and whore around and have mighty good time at all times, to hell with propriety. So, one day, he took off, simple as that, signing up for a buccaneer ship. Only his rebellious streak didn't end there. Tat has a real distaste for hierarchies unless he's on top of one. Barely a few months into his first voyage, he somehow managed to convince the crew to throw the current captain over the board and sail for Nassau instead for booty and...booty. (In my mind, Tat takes after Black Beard in some ways, cuz Black Beard is my fav char in AC4.) Tat is the closest with Christian, his first mate.

Christian, (Jiwon, omega, 23): comes second only to BG when it comes to a messed up past. Married against his will to an alpha twice his age, Chris failed to become a good little omega wife and silently endure his husband’s brutality as was expected of him. Once he’d had enough of beatings and rape, he slashed the fucker’s throat in his sleep and took to the streets. He cross-dressed as an alpha and ended up on the same ship Tattoo was on. The two grew close, so much so that Chris decided to confide in Tattoo and tell him the truth. Chris’s lie could stay undiscovered only for so long, especially in the open sea, so if things went south, at least Tat would have his back. And boy, did he ever. When the captain got suspicious about Chris’s status, Tattoo managed to stage a well-timed coup and turn the crew against the captain, taking his place and making Chris his first mate.

Ian (alpha, 32): The Black Hound of His Majesty. Also, the new governor of Nassau, appointed by the Queen himself (not a typo, omegas take the title of a Queen) in hopes of cleansing Nassau of all that pirate filth. Ian comes from a wealthy merchant family which allowed him to attend a prestigious state university and rub shoulders with the crème de la crème who, in turn, never failed to snidely remind Ian of his modest origins. That never stopped him, however, from graduating at the top of his year and successfully enter the Royal Navy as a captain of his own vessel and show extreme excellence at any mission he was given. For his service, he was eventually knighted and conferred a noble status at the age of 30. (There are plenty of speculations about the nature of relationship between Ian and the Queen, some saying that the only reason Ian was so quick to find himself a fiancée was to allay the uncomfortable rumors, while in reality...)

Diminie (Jisoo, omega, 21): Ian’s fiancée. Comes from an old and very noble family that could even rival the royal dynasty in the pureness of blood. Unfortunately, they have been in dire financial straits for a while now, but the solution was simple enough - find a wealthy suitor for Diminie and marry him off. Simple but not easy. There is only so many wealthy suitors available among the noble families with immaculate credentials, and most of them were either taken or not looking forward to burden themselves with the Parks debts. And this is how Ian comes into picture: filthy rich but not of noble origin, which would make the Parks scoff even at the idea of such an alliance at any other time, but being poor felt even worse, so they had to swallow down their pride and accept Ian’s offer. In some ways, Diminie is like any other omega of noble origin: sheltered and pampered and ignorant of the life at large; brought up with a single purpose of marrying and producing an heir some day, preferably an alpha. But at the same time, he’s not like many of his peers - he’s bookish, likes to spend time on his own, in nature, dreaming about great adventures and such.

SG (Jungkook, alpha, 20): Ian’s younger brother. He’s Ian’s polar opposite, almost in every single way imaginable. Where Ian had to prove himself fiercely, SG was accepted simply because he is the brother of the Black Hound. His path to success had already been trodden for him, by his brother. And as much as he loves Ian, SG oftentimes feels like he’d always be in his shadow and that saddens him: he too longs for his own adventure, for a clean start. But SG is also no Tattoo, to just up and run to another part of the world, so he does what SG does best: he escapes into his own world, filled with swashbuckling extravaganza and romance. It’s his own small way of defying Ian - while Ian despises pirates, SG adores the idea of them. To him, pirates mean freedom to do as one wills with their life and one day, he comes closer to it than he ever thought possible. Before Ian leaves for Nassau, he offers SG to join him. Ian even has a suitable task for him in mind - to help looking after his fiancée who was adamant about going as well.

(Omegas, amrite?)

***

Relationships:

Moving on to the saucy bits.

Technically any couple can happen here, although some couples are more obvious than others, like Tattoo/BG, for instance, while for Tattoo/Di, I’d have to come up with a separate plotline to bring them together. Which I can, if you want me to, but for now I’ll focus on the more obvious ones.

***

Ian/BG/Tattoo is THE big love triangle of the whole shebang. For starters, Tat’s feelings towards BG are not easy to pin down, whether it’s love or lust or something in-between, even Tat doesn’t know for sure, and he’s no soul-searching type either, so there is that. Tat’s primary rule in life is ‘if it ain’t broken, don’t fix it’, which he applies to anything, even his relationship with people. Plus, when it came to BG, he had no real competition, yes they fuck around with people, but he’s a pirate and BG is a whore, that comes with the job, yes. Then, Ian comes into the picture. Ian with his anti-pirate agenda and immediate interest in BG who is at the epicenter of everything that happens on the island. And that lights fire under Tat’s ass, because deep down he’s afraid that BG will choose Ian over him, because why wouldn’t he. Tat had little to offer in comparison. Even if Ian would probably never marry BG because of BG’s reputation, he could still offer to take him as his mistress, and even that would mean a lot. With Ian as his lover, BG could finally go back home and re-enter the high society and have the life that was stolen from him. (Let it be known that Tat is clueless about Ian's betrothal situation. It's not like he could just look it up on the Internet, besides even if he did know, he'd just assume that Ian is like most alphas in power who had an official mate to supply heirs and a bunch of lovers on the side for fun and giggles).

Ian/Di/SG is the small love triangle of the story. Di is, of course, striving to be devoted to his future husband, that's how he was brought up in the first place. And he knows that Ian is a good man, a worthy man to be the father of his pups, but Di would be lying if he said that being betrothed to Ian is at all how he pictured it in his head. Ian treats him kindly and with respect but he's distant and oftentimes absent due to his service to the crown. And Di would loathe to see their marriage be the same way, so he follows Ian to Nassau in hopes to get closer to his fiance, but only to end up spending his days with his brother instead. At first, Di was dismayed, but it turned out that SG was not half bad a company - they had a lot in common, close in age and Di just felt less pressured to behave in a certain way around SG. And While Di doesn’t know when the tingles in his chest transformed into genuine affection towards the younger alpha, he knows from the way SG looks at him that the feeling is mutual and that can be dangerous.

Chris/Tat/BG is the merry threesome of the story. The three of them bang often and with much gusto, what else is there to say.

Chris and Tat are the best buddies in pretty much everything: in swashbuckling, drinking and fuckery. With his past, Chris has a deep-seated anger toward alphas which makes his skin crawl even at the thought of having one touch him again (Tat is the exception to the rule and even when they fuck, Tat gives him the control to make Chris comfortable). Chris also likes to seek out other omegas to fuck, because omegas are mostly submissive in bed and that works for Chris. The pairing I have in mind for him is with SG, actually. SG has the capability to help Chris work through his issues and regain a part of himself that was desecrated in his marriage - his gentler, more sensitive, kinder self. He’d still be the badass though, but with SG, he could be sweeter, more loving and open with his feelings without the fear of being hurt again.

***

There are a lot of ways this hc could go and there are plenty of loose ends to address here but that's about it for now. I'm very much amenable to writing out small stories based on this au, so if you have scenarios or couples you want me to explore, drop me a message or something. I can't write for all of them, ofc, but I promise to do at least a few of them.

Extras:

- I thought of making Diminie the Queen, but since everything happens at Nassau, there is no plausible way he’d actually be allowed to go to some PirateBayTM, so no Queen Diminie (for now?).

#personas au #multicouples #pirates au #yo ho ho

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awfulcomingdown · 5 years

Text

Drifter

I just feel like a dumb, mean, unhappy loser that no one cares about. Maybe not no one. Everyone looks at me with disdain at worst and pity at best. They feel sorry for me at best, they wish I could do better for myself, maybe. Maybe I can’t. Indifference, that is probably how most people look at me. Just someone to silently shuffle by.

I really can’t control how I feel when I’m upset. I feel stale and unmoving. I can’t reach catharsis. I don’t mean to be so rude and unlikable. If I would just act normally and stay calm these people might have liked me. I don't think they do now. I think they felt bad for me. “Are you okay?” they kept asking. I should have been more reassuring. I did not feel okay. I keep seeing their faces. A mix of worry and charity. Like they were trying to help a somewhat-understandably upset child.

Everything ended up being fine. Nothing was stolen or broken, I don’t think. I could have just enjoyed myself. I could have not worried so much.

Still stuck, I think.

. . .

I went into my brother’s room just now, and told him that if any of his friends ask, to say that I am okay, and that I am not upset, and that I am sorry if I was rude to any of them. He said “They all liked you, I think.”

This made me feel better. Both because he said that, and because I did a thing. I did something about how I was feeling, even if it was selfish or misguided, and I hope it wasn’t.

I hope they do like me.

Doing that thing you’re scared to do can make you feel so much better

. . .

Hyper Light Drifter tells you nearly nothing about itself. There were some giant, pink monsters. There was a flash of light. They were killed, their corpses now resting on the mountains in the background of your world.

You collect small pink triangles, pieces of larger pink squares, with little sense of their purpose.

You discover these presumably progression-enabling fragments in the hidden side rooms of dungeons, completely indifferent as to whether or not you find them.

As the screen blurs, the character you follow vomits up spats of blood at disparate and seemingly random instances.

Your companion floats by your side, wordless.

Flashbacks haunt your present, the dark shadows of animals linger upon your regaining consciousness in the wake of re-experiencing the horrors you’ve seen.

But you’re awake, and it's time to keep going. Stand up, who knows what is waiting down the road, and who knows what for.

. . .

When playing at your best, Hyper Light Drifter’s combat begins to resemble a turn based system. You move, you attack, you retreat, and then you wait for your enemy to make their move, and you dare not attempt to interrupt them. The combat system feels as though it is constantly pushing you towards patience and precision. Button mashing will have no effect. The feeling you achieve when you can feel your own skill leading to patient and purposeful movement is palpable. Dash in, take three swipes, dash out, avoid their attack, fire a shot, avoid, dash in, take your final swipe.

This of course all falls apart as the number of enemies is increased. You sit back in an attempt to allow your enemy the first mistake, only to be hit by an arrant bullet fired from across the hall, or by an ostensibly aimless green lion who seems to have just happened to have run into you. You panic. You mash the attack button. You take more damage. You try to run. There is no place to go.

. . .

I have beaten the game now. I beat it yesterday. After struggling somewhat through those first three areas, I quickly made my way through the final area.

I’m not sure how I feel about the game as a whole. I don’t think I will think about it. I haven't been. I don't think it affected me in any major way.

I wonder why that is.

There were moments when I really enjoyed the playing of the game. Those “I am an untouchable and precise assassin, fuck all these creatures” moments. But I don’t think that feeling will stick with me, it is barely here now.

It seems like the “game” part of games is not what I care about most. I loved Oxenfree and Night in the Woods. I really liked Celeste’s gameplay, it felt good, but as I sit here now I feel as though I maybe wouldn’t care that much if I hadn’t ever played it. I care about the way it looked and sounded, and the feeling of calm it sometimes evoked in me.

Maybe I just really love graphic adventures, or walking simulators, or whatever you might want to call them. I’m going to be buying and playing and hopefully writing about Mike Bithell’s Subsurface Circular next. I am excited for it. Maybe I will love it.

But I don't think I’m entirely uninterested in the “game” part of games. Reading about, or listening to people talk about, game design really excites me. It is one of my favourite things. I liked thinking about the ways in which Hyper Light Drifter encourages you to dash up close to slash enemies in order to regain ammo, making it so you cannot just play it safe and fire bullets from across the room. I also liked thinking about how, in rewarding you with ammo for breaking inanimate objects, the game further reinforces the feeling that you should be breaking every barrier and checking every wall for secrets and rewards. Those are interesting things to think about.

But I don’t know how much I really enjoyed playing this game. Breaking those barriers, slashing those enemies. It was alright, it was enjoyable.

So maybe the problem was the story. I really like the fact that they made an entire game with exactly zero lines of dialogue. That is a cool and interesting thing to do, but I think maybe it didn't fully affect me. I am sure it didn’t.

I think I’ve yet to find a game which fully, completely affects me. Night in the Woods is probably the closest I’ve come.

I am going to be playing Metal Gear Solid 2, Dead Space, Mass Effect 2, Sky: Children of the Light, and Subsurface Circular next.

I wonder which of these games will affect me most. I have my assumptions, but who knows.

I will continue to try and find the games which affect me, and continue to try and understand why they do or do not.

This is a fun game in and of itself.

- price

#hyper light drifter

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mayanangel · 5 years

Text

Hey guys!

So here’s the thing. A while ago, I had sent an ask to @bohemian-rhapsody-slash about a Ben/Rami scenario that involved them coming out about their relationship. It was one of my favorite Ben/Rami headcanons ever, so I decided to just get up and write the damn thing.

Fast forward to now, and I’ve finally finished writing it. And just in time too, because I’m gonna be working on stuff for Maycury week and my Leezello fic.

Anyway, I hope you guys like it. Let me know what you think!

Luv ya!

(also on ao3)

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Ben woke up the moment his phone started screeching, hand shooting towards his nightstand to locate the bloody curse. He felt around blindly for a moment, before grasping the wailing the object and moving on autopilot to disable the sounds. Then just like that, the room was once again plunged into silence.

He chucked the phone back onto the nightstand, burrowing further into the warmth of his bed.

“No work today?”

Ben grunted at the sound of the voice, suddenly remembering that he had a bed-mate with him.

“No… maybe.. ’m call in sick or something…” he mumbled.

A soft chuckle sent shivers down Ben’s spine as Rami wrapped his arms around him, pulling him in closer. “Babe…come on..”

The younger man huffed childishly, turning around in his boyfriend’s hold. He squinted in the soft morning light to see that Rami was wide awake, clearly having woken up way before him. Ben managed a lazy furrow of his brows.

“Still jet-lagged?” he inquired. Rami shook his head.

“No, not anymore. Just like to watch you sleeping.” He pressed a kiss on Ben's forehead, running his hand up and down Ben’s naked back. “Did you know that you make little kitten sounds in your sleep?”

Ben scoffed, lightly shoving Rami onto his back and snuggling into his side. “I do not. Now shut up, I’m still sleeping.”

His boyfriend laughed heartily, vibrations echoing through his chest. Ben smiled despite his sleepy, moody, self. He liked this; being here with Rami. It had been so long since they had last seen each other face to face, and he could selfishly admit that he loathed the idea of parting from him so soon. Work be damned - this was where he wanted to spend his day.

As if reading his thoughts, Rami urged him a little bit closer, until he was properly draped over him, face resting just under the older man's chin. Ben breathed in his boyfriend’s scent, silently thanking (not for the first time) his past self for insisting on heavier drapes and darker curtains in his bedroom when he first moved into his flat. For one, they made sleeping through the night a whole lot easier after long and tiring days; and secondly, they made the mornings last longer.

Which was incredibly ideal when it was your main excuse for sleeping in with your boyfriend.

Rami nuzzled his hair, pressing kisses to the edge of his hairline. “I hate to be the one to say this, but I really don’t think you should be sleeping in if you have a call time, babe… I don’t want to see you get in trouble because of me.”

“Mmm.. don’t care. Wanna stay here. Missed you.”

Rami chuckled. “I know, Ben, I’ve missed you too.” Ben responded with a soft grunt of agreement. Rami smiled into his hair. “Missed you so much…”

“Then let's just stay..” Ben whined, lifting his head and resting his chin on Rami’s chest. Beautiful blue eyes pleaded with Rami’s in the dim light of the room, beautiful even in the dark.

“Let’s just stay in today, Ram. No casting calls, no auditions, no go-sees. No… weirdos looking at me like I’m some sort of tasting menu on display… Please, I just want to spend the day with my boyfriend - who flew in last night just to surprise me - it's not too much to ask, right?… Please?”

Rami smiled wryly, caressing his boyfriend’s face with gentle fingers. He pulled him into a kiss, thinking that - honestly - Ben did have a point. After all, they just didn’t get moments like these too often anymore. Ever since Bohemian Rhapsody had premiered, going out had become trickier than usual - what with anonymity going out the window - as more and more people watched the movie and subsequently became fans, both of their characters and themselves.

It was easier when they were still filming, Rami mused. Back then, he and Ben could spend weeks in Ben’s flat - just the two of them and Frankie - and no one would bat an eye. But these days, the most they could do was sneak into each other’s hotel rooms during press tours - then try to stand as far away from each other as possible when it was time to face the media; all so no one would suspect a thing.

It was exhausting, but worth it.

Because while Rami loved the amount of response the film was getting, and how people were praising his performance as Freddie Mercury - he was especially proud of how fans were starting to appreciate Ben as more than just a pretty face. Yes, he found himself thinking, my boyfriend is an amazing performer, thank you. He’s not just someone with great abs or a great ass (which he did have, by the way). He's talented, and amazing. Did he mention that he was amazing? Because he is. Ben Hardy is amazing, and everyone needs to get with the program.

Honestly if he had the chance, Rami would probably make shameless proclamations about the true talent Ben was, on every platform and in any interview; the only reason he hasn't was because a single wrong word could risk outing them to the world.

Not that either of them were ashamed of being together. No, not at all.

It was just… it was a conversation they needed to have. For sure. But maybe not when they were both naked in bed, his beautiful boyfriend still cuddled up to him and making it clear that he couldn’t care less about the outside world at the moment.

Right here, right now - in this bed - it was just the two of them, and that was all that mattered.

Rami smiled. “Okay, babe,” he whispered, the gentlest of breaths against his Ben’s lips. “Okay. We can stay in today.”

Ben utterly beamed, smiling so brightly you’d think that sunlight was finally flooding into the room. In reality, they were still shrouded by half-light, the sun’s rays muted for the most part by Ben’s dark curtains. It made Rami’s features look darker than usual - the perfect opposite to Ben’s golden sunshine. Ben would never admit it, but he absolutely loved that about being with Rami. His personal dark prince; Ben wouldn’t trade it for the world.

He pulled Rami into another deep kiss, lips moving languidly against each other, then laid his head back down on the other man’s chest, enjoying the pure domesticity of it all.

The moment was broken though, once again, by the shrill cry of Ben’s phone.

Ben groaned loudly. It was just a message, but anything other than his boyfriend’s soothing voice while in the confines of his room was an abomination in his book.

He reluctantly moved from Rami’s hold, turning around to check his phone. It was from Joe, because of course it would be. He had sent a picture of he and Gwilym in their groupchat, showing the two of them out and about on the streets of New York. Bloody nerds.

Rami slid his arms around Ben’s waist, spooning and holding him close while pressing kisses onto his strong shoulders. “Hmmm… from Joe?”

Ben smiled, leaning back into Rami’s warmth. “Mhmm. I can’t believe he still thinks no one knows he fancies Gwil.”

“That’s Joe for you,” Rami chuckled, nuzzling the nape of Ben’s neck. Ben shivered from the sensation. “Did he ever tell you about that time he made an ass of himself in front of a hostess in Japan when he accidentally called Gwil his ‘beloved’?”

Ben grinned. “He didn’t!”

“Oh, he did. Then he tried to save face by saying how he meant Gwil was his 'best bro', or something. It was hilarious. A mess, but hilarious.”

Ben giggled.

Another notification came through, this time from Instagram. Ben swiped the app icon, opening it up to show the same picture, but now on Joe’s insta account.

[Not a reunion without the whole gang, but I guess I’ll live.]

Immediately the comments started pouring in. Ben scrolled through them, feeling that familiar sense of lowkey bitterness grow in his gut.

’@benhardy is going to be so upset when he sees this!’

'nooooo but what about @benhardy joe?!’

'gwilym out here cheating on his bf like that. @benhardy deserves better’

'leezzello tonight, but we all know hardzello is endgame @benhardy’

'it’s bad enough that rami’s with lucy, now gwilym’s all over joe?? ummm, @benhardy do you need company? cause you know… ;)’

'i guess it’s true then. if someone like @benhardy can’t make them stay, what hope is there? lol’

'y'all never show love for rami, shame on you. guess i’m gonna have to take one for the team… <3’

Ben slammed his phone down on the bed and smooshed his face into his pillow.

Great, his mood was utterly ruined. God, this was the absolute last thing he needed this morning. Here he was, trying to enjoy a simple morning with his boyfriend, and he had to go and be reminded that everyone still thought he was dating and/or cheating on either Joe or Gwil.

He huffed in frustration. It wasn’t exactly fun to be reminded that everyone basically thought he was a slag.

“Babe, what’s wrong? Ben?” Rami worriedly reached over Ben’s shoulder to check on his boyfriend, smoothing his hair away from his face. “Babe? Did something happen?” He tried to turn Ben back around, but the younger man refused to budge.

The thing was, Ben knew he was being petulant. He did, he wasn’t an idiot. He was 100% aware that he was equally to blame for the whole entire narrative that was he and Joe and Gwilym - supposedly being in some sort of love triangle.

It was all him.

And Joe.

And Gwil.

Although they never really meant anything by it; after all, Ben had never seen anything wrong with showing affection to your co-stars. He had done it before, with other cast-mates, and came away just fine.

So when the opportunities arose, he happily went along with all of Joe’s jokes, or Gwilym’s odd humor, and played up that notion about them being super close during filming, and even during breaks. They took pictures and videos, and shared them on social media. Joking about being in love and all that. It was all harmless humor.

But then, people - their fans - became truly invested, and well, here he was.

Because what people didn’t know, was that all the time he spent with Gwil and Joe, was to make up for - or even to hide - the fact that he couldn’t exactly show how much time he was spending with Rami.

All those pictures and videos of himself, running around with Gwilym or Joe; what really mattered was that at the end of the day, he would be able to snuggling up to Rami in bed while laughing about Gwil getting his wig stuck in things for the hundredth time, or just Joe and his mushroom perm.

It was great.

God, he still remembered how flustered he was when he first met Rami, having been a fan of his since he was a bloody teenager. The older man was so gracious with him, and so sweet, that it had honestly been hard to not fall head over heels for him. They were so different as people, from such wildly differing backgrounds; and yet they could talk for hours, about anything and everything under the sun. Rami never acted like he wasn’t interested in his what he had to say; always ready to humor his thoughts and offer his two cents. It was such an exhilarating experience for Ben - to be seen as an equal, and not as just another bloke with a pretty face.

So much so, that when they received the final script for Bohemian Rhapsody, Ben had been dismayed by how little Freddie and Roger interacted. They were bloody best friends, you bastards! And even after Graham explained everything to him, he still couldn’t help but feel a little bitter.

Here was a wealth of opportunities for him, as Roger, to spend even more time with Rami - and the film wasn’t allowing it.

Bollocks.

Rami - much like right now - had asked him about it later on; and somehow, someway, that conversation had turned into a confession, and long story short, he had been with Rami ever since.

Of course they didn’t tell anyone, mostly out of respect for professionalism, but as time went on, hiding their relationship became harder, and harder.

Just them sneaking around, pretending they didn’t want to spend every waking hour together; it had all seemed ideal when they started out. He even told Rami that he was okay with being secretive, if it meant he could be with him. But now... now he wondered it they would ever be more than just that - a secret.

A faint click sounded behind him, and suddenly he could feel more than see, the light of his bedside lamp fill his room. Ben finally relented and lifted his face from it’s hiding place, turning around to face Rami, eyes stormy and downcast.

Rami frowned, reaching up to trace the lines of Ben's tear-filled, bloodshot eyes. He sniffled, and concern immediately colored Rami’s features.

“Talk to me, Ben…”

Ben sighed, suddenly wishing he could run away from this conversation. It was as if the whole issue in his head suddenly seemed so... childish.

After all... it was just some harmless fun amongst the fans, right? It's not like anyone really means anything by it. It was just people being people on social media. It wasn’t a big deal.

Really.

“It’s nothing, Ram. ’s not a big deal.”

“Babe, if it’s upsetting you then it is a big deal. Come on, talk to me… I hate seeing you like this.”

Ben took Rami’s hand, loving how his boyfriend squeezed his fingers to reassure him. “I... it’s stupid, love.”

Rami sighed, giving Ben one of his looks. It was the look that said 'I need to fix this- help me fix this' . As if any of it was his fault.

Ben took a deep breath. “It’s just… the fans, again, I suppose. The whole… thing with Joe and Gwil... and me.”

Rami nodded. Of course he knew what Ben was talking about. He, like everyone else, were privy towards their antics during filming. He thought it was hilarious.

Then again, maybe he had misread something.

Ben continued, “It’s just that… everyone thinks I’m dating one of them, right? One or the other. And I know we’re the ones who started it - and I know that it’s just joking around - I know that. But then, sometimes they - the fans - they just… say things, like... like I’m some kind of two-timing whore who’s playing around with their feelings… and I just..”

Ben’s voice trailed off as he felt a weight lift off his chest. He was a little taken aback by how much this had actually been bothering him.

Oh.

He gripped Rami’s hand harder, holding on for dear life. He could see his boyfriend studying him, patiently waiting for him to finish saying his piece. He guessed it was now or never.

“I just… I hate that everyone thinks I’m some tart sleeping around with my friends, when the truth is…” He looked away from Rami’s eyes, color rising on his cheeks. “..when the truth is I’m perfectly happy with you. I… hate that I can’t just… tell everyone that they're wrong. That 'no, I am *not* dating Joe Mazzello or Gwilym Lee. I’m not… I’m..-”

Gentle fingers on his face brought his attention back to his boyfriend. Rami was gazing at him with teary eyes, a soft smile on his lips. His fingers gently traced the outline of his bottom lip, before cupping his cheek in his warm palm, and just holding him. As if Ben was the most precious thing Rami had ever been privileged to touch.

“Ben… are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

Ben swallowed, suddenly unsure. On one hand, he knew what he wanted. On the other hand… he really didn’t want to ruin this.

“I… I want to be able to tell them that I already have a boyfriend, thank you very much. And that he’s beautiful, and wonderful.” He covered Rami’s hand with his own, pressing a kiss into his palm. “Don't get me wrong, Ram, I don’t mind the joking… but I’m taken, and I want to be able to say that…”

Rami let out a breath of relief.

“Babe… I never thought… I just assumed…- I want that too, Ben. If you’re ready for it - and I mean really ready - then I’m ready to go there with you.”

Ben surged forward, pulling Rami into a deep kiss, heart beating out of his chest. Rami kissed him back with equal fervor, something inside of him unfurling and breaking free from it’s restraints. He let Ben take control, falling onto his back as the younger man straddled him, never breaking their kiss.

Rami pulled away from Ben with labored breath.“Get your phone,” he groaned, hands steadying the sway of Ben's hips. Ben quickly reached for the device he had discarded a few minutes ago, already having an inkling as of how they were going to do this.

Giggling, he unlocked the screen and pulled up the camera app, aiming it right at his boyfriend’s smiling face; his other hand moved to entwine with Rami’s on Rami’s chest.

He snapped the picture.

Once.

Twice.

Three times, because his boyfriend was gorgeous, alright.

He showed the pictures to Rami, who laughed at the shitty lighting. Ben couldn't care less, because the point was that it showed more than enough, and the anticipation of finally sharing their relationship with the world was making him giddy.

“Wait, let me take one too!” Rami took the phone from Ben’s hand, switching the camera to selfie mode. He then tugged Ben off of him so he could lie down beside him. Ben chuckled as he arranged himself into a totally-candid-and-not-staged-position beside his boyfriend, arm wrapped around the older man’s torso, face resting nicely on his shoulder.

Looking into the camera together, Rami snapped the shot.

One, with he and Ben perfectly in frame together.

Twice, with Ben kissing his cheek.

And three times, with Ben's laughing face buried in the crook of Rami’s neck, his elated smile just barely visible in the blur of motion.

Rami smiled a smile of his own, holding his boyfriend close.

They were really going to do this, huh?

Ben grinned excitedly at him, like a child before Christmas, when he took his phone back, swiping through the photos. Rami felt his heart, honest to god, flutter.

Yep. Guess they were.

A few lifelong minutes later - a.k.a after Ben had painstakingly picked two of his favorite pictures out of the bunch - Rami hovered over Ben's shoulder as his boyfriend uploaded the photos onto his instagram. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Ben write out his caption, then tag him; and then just like that, the reality of their lives never being the same again from that day forward, truly dawned on him.

The moment of truth; Ben hit 'Share'.

The minute the post finished uploading, Ben shut his phone off and put it back on the nightstand. Confused, Rami opened his mouth to ask, but Ben just moved to straddle his boyfriend once again.

"What?" the blonde said coyly, feigning innocence. "Did we not agree to spend the day in? I don't know about you, Ram, but in my book, spending the day in includes not caring about what the world has to say about my relationship."

Rami laughed out loud, hands back on his boyfriend's hips; of course, again, his Ben had a point.

Around them, Rami noted how the room suddenly seemed brighter - the air so much more lighter. Part of him knew it was because they were still in bed way past sunrise; but another part of him was certain that it was because of the difference in Ben.

Ben, who seemed happier. Ben, who seemed more at ease.

Rami smirked. "Well, then. Who am I to argue with that? Any ideas, babe?"

Ben raised an eyebrow, bottom lip between his teeth.

"Oh, don't worry, babe... I can definitely think of a few."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

@benhardy has posted a photoset.

[Picture 1: ] [Black and white.] [A man, pictured from chin to lower chest, lying down on a bed, shirtless.] [His left hand is holding on to the photographer's hand, clutched together on the man's chest.] [Over his heart.]

[Picture 2:] [Black and white.] [Close-up of that man, laughing while looking into the camera, blurry with motion.] [Another man laying next to him, face turned into the smiling man's neck, toothy smile barely discernible through the blur.] [They're clearly in love.]

[Caption: "He's mine. Sod off."]

[tagged: @ramimalek]

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

'Oh my god'

'OHMIGODDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!'

'OMG OMG OMG!!!! RIP ME WTFFFFFFF'

'Ben and RAMI?! How did we not see it???? Ohmigod MY HEARTTTTTT'

'WAIT WHAAAAAAAT'

'BEN HARDY RAMI MALEK BEN FUCKING HARDY RAMI EFFIN' MALEK WHAT IS AHEPPENING I CAN'T OMGGGGG'

'GAHHHHHHHH!!!! MY FAVES!! My faves are dating JESUS CHRIST GOD IS REALLL'

'We stan. We FUCKING STAN. KING AND KING, YAAAS BITCH!!'

'gUYS I'M gonNNA CRYYYY! They look so good together <3'

'hardzello stans and hardlee stans don't comment. THIS IS A HARLEK APRRECIATION ZONE. (yes, bitch i went there)'

'omg HARLEK, YAAAAAAAAAS!!!'

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

@joe_mazello liked your photo.

@joe_mazzello: I fucking knew it. I FUCKING KNEW IT. @mrgwilymlee YOU OWE ME.

@mrgwilymlee liked your photo.

@mrgwilymlee: @joe_mazzello I'M AS SURPRISED AS YOU, THANK YOU. Wow. You bastards. Congratulations, I'm happy for you. But STILL.

@joe_mazello: you're just jealous he got to Ben before you did. Admit it, sir.

@mrgwilymlee: You wish, Joseph. If anything, I'm jealous that he got to Rami first. That's one pretty man...

@joe_mazzello: you know, now that you mention it...

@benhardy: Yeah. That caption. It's for the two of you. @joe_mazzello @mrgwilymlee Hands off.

@ramimalek liked your comment.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

#ben/rami #rami/ben #harlek #wow this ended up being the longest oneshot i've ever written #anyway i hope you guys like it #this is my gift to you #i love you all

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m00nslippers · 5 years

Note

Jason teaching his Amazonian daughter marksmanship, and how to handle firearms?

Okay, so you asked for gun-practice but it kind of turned into something else. I might get to something with actual guns another time but here’s but I came up with.

“Dad,help me practice deflecting bullets,” Liz asked him one day, as ifshe was asking him to play catch withher, or dolls. Howeverunlike catch (she had a killer underhand, his girl would absolutelydestroy in softball)and dolls (she’d been less interested in dressing them up than shedid in enacting increasingly scandalous murder mysteries, completewith love-triangles and insurance money schemes), practicingdeflecting goddamn bulletshad never been something they’d done together.

Jasonlooked away from the criminal’s bank accounts he’d been scouring onhis laptop to blink in confusion at his twelve-year-old daughter’sexpectant face. “Um, what?”he asked dully with raisedeyebrows.

ElizabethBennet Grace-Todd cocked herhip and gave him the full-on Amazon you-have-displeased-mestare she’d inherited from her mom, sighingas if Jason was being exceptionally stupid today and she didn’t knowwhy she bothered.

Alreadycoming up to hisshoulder in height, she was going to be tall. Her hair was a maneof black curls and her nose was scattered with freckles, hereyes a shade greener than his. They’d always gotten along well, doneeverything together when they could, from cooking, to reading, tomovies, and martial arts and weapons practice. He’d tried to maketheir relationship one where she could come to him with anything.

Sowhen it came down to it, he was glad she’d come to him with thisoutrageous idea and not someone else who he’d have to murder later ifshe’d conned them into actually doing it. He just didn’t know wherethe idea had come from in the first place.

“Deflectingbullets with wrist cuffs? Like Wonder Woman?” sherepeated and held up theself-same enchantedwrist cuffs she’d broughthome from her visit to Bana-Mighdall.“If I’m going to be thenext Wonder Girl then I need practice with this, I haven’t quitefigured out the technique…”

Jasonbit the inside of his mouth.Therewas just so much tounpack from that statement,andhedidn’t even knowwhere to start. Oh wait, nohe did.

Jasonpretended to look hurt. “WonderGirl? You don’t want to be the next Red Hood?”

Lizfroze from admiring hergolden wrist cuffs, eyeswidening as emotions flashed across her face, oscillating betweentouched and sort of panicked. “No! I mean, being Red Hood would begreat,” she stammered, “I just never even—and Red Hood is aguy, and—well, Iknow that wouldn’t matter to you,but um…”

Jasoncouldn’t hold it in any longer and a grin spread itself across hisface as he reached out andtugged at a ringlet of her the long, curly black hair.“Naw, I’m kiddin’ya.”

“Dad!”she scolded him and yankedher hair out of his hand witha pout that somehow managed to be menacing, and that look could havecome from either of her parents really.

“Imean, it would be nice if you wanted to be Red Hood, but I get it,”he shrugged. “WonderGirl is awesome. Actually, I wanted to be Wonder Girl too, back inthe day. Didn’t really work out, for obvious reasons. Butyour mom is the Shim'tar, so Ithink you’ve got a way better shot.”

Lizexhaled in relief before narrowingher eyes at him with her arms crossed in front of her chest inirritation. “You did notwant to be Wonder Girl,” she denied asif this was another one of his tricks. His daughter was a hardenedcynic and it was his fault for teasing her near non-stop since themoment she was born.

“Idid too,” he retorted with suchconviction that she seemed todecide to believe him.

Sheraised a brow. “But weren’tyou already Robin by then?”

“So?Lemme tell ya, the Robin gig ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.” Andshe’d heard him bitch enough about Bruce and her whole extendedBat-family on his side that he didn’t have to go into detail on ithere. “That’s thesuperhero-slash-vigilante thing in general, though.”

Helooked Liz in her eyes,trying to impart as much seriousness as he could into his nextwords, “Hey,if you just want to be WonderGirl because you’re mom and me are who we are, and everyone around usis hip-deep in this saving-the-world-shit, I just want you toknow—we’d both love you either way. You don’t have to be asuperhero for us to be proud of you. You can be a normal kid here inGotham, or a regular Amazon onThemysciraor Bana-Mighdall with your mom.Those things are fine, too.”

Oneof Liz’shands moved to rub at the shiny metal of her wrist guard on theother, her long lashesfluttering with nervousness.“Do you…wantme to be normal?” she askedhim.

“Iwant you to be whatever makes you happy. Whatever that is,” Jasontold her with no hesitation.

“ThenI want to be Wonder Girl,” shesaid with a nod and a look of determination.

“Okay,”he said with a returned nodof understanding. “Butthere’s no way I’m going to help you practice deflecting bulletswhen you can’t even deflect a pillow.”

“Icould deflect a pillo-hey!”she shouted and squealed as she ducked away from a pillow he’drocketed at her face.

#Elizabeth Grace-Todd #Jason Todd #Red Hood #Red Hood And The Outlaws #Jay/Artemis #artemis of bana-migdall #Artemis #New outlaws AU #drabble #headcanon #Wonder Girl #batman #dc #fanfic #@whumpbby

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howlingmoonrise · 5 years

Text

Dear Yuletide Author

hello and thank you for signing up for yuletide, i hope you have fun during the challenge!

i ramble a lot so my letter is under a readmore (i put everything in one post so you don’t have to juggle links around). obviously you don’t have to follow any of the things i put in here, but hopefully this will help you out!

general things i like

PINING. I’M SUCH A SLUT FOR PINING ALL THE PINING ULTRA PINING SUPER PINING. i have SO MUCH FUN reading about idiots in love who aren’t together yet and i far prefer it to fics with already established relationships. this is also applicable to when they know the other is in love with them but they can’t act on it for some reason.

i’m down for either gen or romantic!! what really does it for me is the developing relationship, platonic or otherwise, and the character dynamics and interactions and all the little moments in between. stuff like developing trust and finding kinship and growing respect for the other and subconsciously learning to lean on the other over anyone else is far more important for me than any kissing will ever be (though kissing is also nice if you wanna go down that route lmao)

i love love LOVE enemies/rivals-?to-friends?-to-lovers and bickering pairs in general, as you can probably tell by my choice in character! it’s so much fun and it gives us so many opportunities for character and relationship developments :D

continuing from the above points, nothing kills me as much as characters that bicker all the time but in the end they rely on the other and go to each other before they go to anyone else, whether they realize it or not

i REALLY like the canon and characters for all the fandoms i picked, so sticking at least to their characterizations and the overall “tone” of canon is a huge plus!! “missing scenes” and “what if” canon-divergent situations are excellent, as are continuations from where canon left us! that being said, i also enjoy more conceptual AUs and i’ve put more details about those a little further below. rule of thumb is that i enjoy AUs where the focus remains more on the relationship itself and how it works on such a setting than on the worldbuilding for it.

fun tropes i enjoy (sorry, these are a bit romance-leaning but if you’re not into that they can probably be adapted somehow): fake dating, accidentally got roped into x and shenanigans of all sorts keep happening, misunderstood confessions, groundhog day au, one or both the characters having stupid levels of denial while technically in a relationship and just not realizing it like What Do You Mean We’re Dating??, that sorta thing.

TROPE SUBVERSION ALL THE WAY!

general things i dislike

kidfics. babyfics. next gen fics. pregnancy fics, or even pregnancy discussed in the fic is a major squick of mine. the one exception i make for kidfics is for petshop of horrors when it comes to chris and the pets, as they already belong in canon, but no babies or children otherwise please.

future fics in general, actually. what i enjoy is the relationship development, so huge time skips make me feel like we missed way too much. one exception to this is post-canon petshop of horrors, for obvious reasons.

i usually don’t like most angst stuff since it feels a bit gratuitous to me when it comes to most fandoms and characters. the one exception for this is psoh (see below if you’re picking this fandom - and wow psoh seems to be the exception to everything huh) or when it’s a more introspective sort of fic. as a result of this, i’d pass on most content with major character death, sexual abuse, self-harm, the like, though of course there are always exceptions to the rule and you’re free to write as you wish!

hard AUs are a bit ugh to me. by this i mean AUs that rely heavily on setting, such as high school AUs, harry potter AUs, that sort of thing. i DO however enjoy stuff like siren AUs and soulmate AUs, depending on the concept and on the fandom. more details in their own sections if you enjoy writing those!

i heavily dislike things involving cheating/infidelity, sickfics, and genderbending of any kind is a bit ehhhh for me, as are concepts such as ABO. hard pass on stuff like dysphoria and deep diving into most mental illnesses, too (with a possible exception for depression when it comes to psoh).

script-based or roleplay fic is not really my preferred format, i really enjoy prose instead of nearly all dialogue!

if you’re going for nsfw

kinks

moderate sadomasochism, uncommon forms of bondage (plants, stuck with strange substance or in awkward position, the shadows from p&tf as restraints, etc), choking/breathplay, xenophilia and tentacles/alien genitals (shadowplay in p&tf, non-human genitals for the staryk lord, etc), moderate degradation, edging/desperation play, ladies topping and calling the shots, bloodplay/knifeplay, long hair/hair pulling (staryk lord, leon orcot), sharp nails/claws (staryk lord, charlotte la bouff, count d; miryem mandelstam having them is actually preferable to the staryk lord now that i think of it), lowkey cannibalism imagery (count d re:leon orcot)

squicks

scat, vomit, praise kink, daddy or baby kink, vore, forced feminization, pet play, gore, abuse, abo, anything involving pregnancy at all

PETSHOP OF HORRORS

i’m usually not very partial to angst but GODS does psoh throw that out of the window, so feel more than free to run with it if you wanna go down that route. psoh is RIPE for angst. we got two people with abandonment and inadequacy issues: leon who decided to leave his whole life behind to chase someone who gave him life and then left and initially didn’t even bother to do it with any sort of goodbyes, and d who is supremely fucked up by his upbringing and had to push leon off the ark to continue his family’s mission and let drop one (1) single tear that he was not supposed to cry over a human. those fuckers. those idiots. i love them so much.

THAT BEING SAID, i also!!!! love slice of life shit for them!!!!!!!! GODS i love how much they bicker but then they turn around and the other is the person they rely on the most and who they trust implicitly above all others and how they keep roping each other into ridiculous shenanigans. neither of them are particularly communicative with a few rare exceptions, so there’s also a lot of room there for introspection and unspoken affection on both sides, which i LOVE. my son leon in particular is also super underestimated when it comes to his intelligence and tolerance for gay shit both in canon and fandom, and he performs ridiculous leaps of logic and instinct that somehow turn out to be right but that are super ???? for everyone else involved, and that’s always fun to see. hell, just another missing scene where leon brings d some cake and they banter fondly over tea is A++++ to me!!

nsfw???? bring it!!! this is the one fandom where you’re more than free to go super dark and kinky if you wanna, or if you wanna write tender loving reunion sex where d cries a little while leon is loving and disbelieving and so very careful that’s also excellent! i don’t have a particular preference on who tops either, it’s fun either way, but i tend to see leon more as a sub/masochist >u> i can also see it going a bit dark with those two, especially considering d and his kind (implied to eat human flesh and being predators more than once) so bloodplay and cannibalistic thoughts could be fun. re: d’s genitals (as are hotly debated in the fandom), i usually prefer either a dick or triple threat d, though some fun plant-man shenanigans also have their place here.

all in all, psoh is the most excellent genre triangle where i’d be super happy to receive anything on the slice-of-life/angst/smut corners! (also, slash is 3249823% acceptable if you couldn’t tell by my ranting, as is a hint of crack)

if you’re thinking going AU on this one, my suggestions are of slight universe alterations instead of major world AUs. examples could be soulmate AUs (trope subversion would be GREAT here, aka foreign script they didn’t initially recognize, or only Ds having soulmates while humans do not, or the same scenario as the last but leon DOES have it on his skin and just keeps it hidden because Normal Humans Don’t Have Birth Tattoos, or d never expected to have one because his kind is dead and yet when he pushes leon from the ark the soulmate bond is forged, etc), a different first meeting, or even missed connections when they did not know each other yet; something like papa being alive and brady bunch-ing it up with them and chris would also be both excellent and hilarious. epistolary form for those two is also fun! if you wanna go full universe AU, something like a vampire hunter leon could be very interesting >u>

SPINNING SILVER

WHERE DO I EVEN START. miryem and the staryk lord were my favourite part of the book; if the book was only their story i would have already been more than satisfied. the rest of the book is also excellent, but those two???? that story was far too great. enemies to allies to lovers is one of my favourite tropes, and this is one of the examples that just keeps proving me right. the slowly growing respect, the wariness when they both know what the other is capable of, the staryk lord getting hit with the hots for his wife when she manages the impossible and then miryem being unable to just let it go when he’s imprisoned and defeated. ACTUALLY lemme just grab that line of thought and bring up that moment when he was sorrowful and resigned when miryem didn’t argue further for the three rooms full of gold and he thought she would not succeed and that she would have to die for it. that, right there? those moments of renewed respect, those moments sudden longing for something they did not know they wanted? those are the things that kill me.

tonally, i love the sort of writing in canon too much to ask for anything different, though you’re by no means obliged to keep to it or to 1st person pov (i have a love-hate relationship with 1st person pov, ngl). missing moments from the novel or moments from the period of time they spent either courting or apart would be GREAT. for those two i actually don’t mind it too much if they’re already established, if it’s early on in the relationship when they’re still learning how to step around one another. the staryk lord flabbergasted or in awe of miryem is always Excellent(TM). bits of worldbuilding and staryk culture would be fun as applied to their relationship (such as the names thing, or courting habits, etc) as are AUs such as soulmates or alternate meetings and the like. if you’re wanting to go full universe AU, keeping some fairytale elements would be great!

if you’re going for nsfw? the name kink, holy shit that would be so goooood. the staryk lord being a bit of a masochist under miryem’s hands would also be great, and inhuman staryk genitals and erogenous zones/acts would be great to play with such as human body heat affecting them in different ways from normal, etc. bringing in his long hair would be a major plus. the build-up for the actual act is the best, so miryem and the staryk lord being super hot for each other while either denying it internally pre-relationship or being unable to go through with it post-relationship due to several factors (busy dealing with their people, no privacy, etc) would be EXCELLENT. so much fun can be had here!

PRINCESS AND THE FROG

i am 100% aware this is a weird-ass pairing but gods, the possibilities. it has so much potential. there are few things i like quite as much as a villain and a good person developing a strange sort of kinship with each other. this doesn’t have to mean in a romantic way, obviously! as i said, for me it’s the building understanding and reluctant respect that i really love, far more than the actual romance.

ideas, ideas, ideas. i’m aware this is a rare relationship to either portray or ask for, so i’m gonna try to give some more concrete-ish ones for you to build up on if you have no clue as to how to approach this. we could have canonverse with charlotte dealing with the shadowman in some other matter while the main plot is occurring, making him feel somewhat guilty about the whole marriage plot with laurence-turned-naveen; cue introspection or an entirely different outcome. or a post-canon sort of hades&persephone plot, with charlotte curious despite herself and tempted to listen to a shadow/dead/whatever!dr facilier when she’s the only one that can hear him, or her being dragged Beneath as well in a freak accident and then charming him into helping her back to the surface/living world (very, veeeeery reluctantly on his part, at least at the start, he might have even be thinking of tricking her but then change his mind when the time comes to do it). i think dr facilier wouldn’t be sure how to deal with charlotte’s particular brand of personality and good humour, and it’d throw him off his rhythm a lot - that sort of thing is always super fun to write.

soulmate au in canon would work pretty well, but with this pairing? FULL WORLD AU IS YOURS FOR THE TAKING. keeping to the shadowman sort of thing to her normal bougie self would be a major plus; it’s one of her charms. also, charlotte thinking that she wants one thing (her prince, for example) while keeping getting drawn to him time and time again could work on pretty much any era or setting. vice-versa for him, thinking he wants to be rid of her but coming to realize he’d actually miss her if she were to be gone. OR, charlotte deciding she wants this sullen manipulative bastard and manipulating HIM into taking her out and hanging out with her would be hilarious.

if you wanna do nsfw, i have only one major request: charlotte calling the shots/topping. i think this arrangement would be entirely in character for both of them (dr facilier would prob also enjoy having someone else do all the work lol) considering her go-getter attitude, but keeping in mind his manipulative personality i’d be more comfortable if she had some control over what was happening. ASIDE FROM THAT, dyou know what would be fun? a little darkness, and by that i mean consider dr facilier’s shadow joining in on the fun. shadows would also be an interesting sort of constraint. also i know i said charlotte calling the shots, but she can be constrained by the shadows while being amused by it or being used for it to happen (the latter case implying it’s not the first time that they’ve used it in bed play), or charlotte could team up with Shadow to do it to facilier instead. charlotte using her nails and facilier being a bit of a sub/masochist would also be pretty good!

(actually in general it’d be really fun if there was some complicity between charlotte and facilier’s shadow in general, regardless of nsfw or not. the shadow being wrapped around her little finger is an excellent concept, especially if facilier isn’t too fond of her just yet lmfao.)

thank you for reading all my rambling, and i hope you have fun!

#howl rambles a lot #yuletide #yuletide 2019 #dear yuletide author

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profoundnet · 5 years

Text

Thank you to all these amazing people for participating in the Profound Bond’s Halloween Exchange 2018! I hope everyone enjoyed their amazing gifts. Massive thanks as well to the wonderful @foxymoley for the banner, who never fails us with her brilliant art.

Apologies for the slightly (very) late masterpost, but please enjoy all the amazing creations below the cut!

If you’d like to join the gift exchange, then head on over and join our discord! Information can be found on the wiki which you can access here.

Let Me Live that Fantasy by @profound-boning for justann

"Let's get sexy," Cas mutters against his lips.

Explicit Rating

Tags: AU - Modern Setting, AU - Angels are known, Angel Castiel, PWP, Smut, Fluff, Medical Kink, Doctor Sexy Costume, Wing Kink

Shitty Timing and Slutty Cops by @lunavva for profound-boning

“There’s literally nothing here, man,” Dean says, running his hand down his face. “We’re doomed. I’m fired.”

“Not yet," Cas tells him.

Dean snorts. “You’re right,” he says. “I have three hours and then I’m fired.”

No Rating

Tags: AU - Modern Setting, Fluff, Teenage Destiel

The Samhain Trials by @jemariel for TobytheWise

On Samhain night, the veil is thin, not only between the spirit world and our own, but between humankind and their inner natures.

Every year, the hunt is run. Alphas and omegas brave the woods in search of glory and passion. Every year, Dean Winchester comes out alone. The soulbrand on his neck means that he has a True Mate, and what should be a blessing has only been a curse.

He hopes, and he waits, and this year his soulbrand has been itching as if it were newly risen.

It's nearly sundown.

Explicit Rating

Tags: AU - Soulmates, AU - A/B/O, True Mates, Alpha Castiel, Omega Dean, Mating Bond, First Time, Smut

Zom-bee Mine by a_dusky_gold for Nox-lee

Gabriel's careless gift becomes the promise of a lifetime.

No Rating

Tags: AU - Modern Setting, Teenage Destiel, Friends to Lovers, Reunions, Foster Care, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort

Cuffs and Coffee Cups by @wargurl83 for alessariel

Dean’s a barista at The Java Break in Lawrence. Castiel is an FBI agent sent undercover to KU to track down a drug ring that’s sending kids to the hospital. He tracks the dealer to The Java Break where he meets Dean and starts to fall for him. But Dean has secrets that he has to keep from Castiel. Will they be able to meet in the middle?

Explicit Rating

Tags: AU - Modern Setting, Barista Dean, FBI Agent Castiel

Of Dragons and Princesses by @elizasugarcane for haikuhamster

“I don’t wanna go-oo-ooooh!”, Claire wailed at the top of her lungs. It seemed like no matter what he said, Cas just couldn’t convince her, that she would be fine but that they really needed to leave the car and enter the hospital they had been sitting in front of for about 10 minutes now.

General Rating

Tags: Doctor Dean, Single Parent Castiel

A Halloween Treat by @deadlykittenkaywriting for tfw_cas

It's the annual Halloween party at the Roadhouse and there's a special little treat for everyone that's invited. Also, did you hear what Batman did to Superman?

Teen Rating

Tags: Halloween Costumes, Mutual Pining, First Kiss

Never Play with Things which should Stay Lifeless by @justann42 for starmouse123

Castiel is a warlock and had a new potion which he wanted to try.

Is this really a good idea?

General Rating

Tags: AU - Urban Fantasy, Fluff and Angst, Crack

Hard to believe by @surlybobbies for binJLG

He was suddenly giddy with the memory of last night, of the risk he took and the reward he received. Warmth suffused him when he remembered the way Cas’s hands had shaken when he raised them to Dean’s cheeks, the awe on Cas’s face that he was allowed to lean in and -

Dean didn’t bother changing; he walked out into the hallway and into the kitchen in faded boxers and the shirt from last night.

And waiting there, watching the percolator drip coffee into the carafe?

“Cas.” It was the first thing he’d said that day, and it felt right.

General Rating

Tags: Canon Universe, Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff

Reel Drag by @haikuhamster for neonbat

It’d been three days since Dean had eaten. Every time he thought it was safe to leave the cave and hunt, though, the monster would make its presence known once more and remind him that certain death awaited him if he left.

Here in his own head, he could admit that he was terrified.

Explicit Rating

Tags: Creature Fic, Creature Castiel, Zombie Werepire, Bottom Dean, PWP, Wing Kink, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Dubious Consent

Holloween by binJGL for loveinghybrid

Dean spirals into a deep depression after casting Michael out and ends up isolating himself. But Castiel WILL NOT let him spend his favorite holiday alone.

Mature Rating

Tags: Canon Divergence, Depressed Dean Winchester, Mental Illness, Hurt/Comfort, Suicidal Thoughts/Ideation, First Kiss

A Halloween to Remember by @loveinghybrid for lunavva

Dean and Castiel have been friends for years. Although they have been through many Halloweens together, this one was one they both would never forget.

No Rating

Tags: Best Friends, Mutual Pining

Aren’t You a Peach by @supernatural9917fic for surlybobbies

Totally platonic (*cough*) best friends and roommates Dean and Cas get ready for Charlie's classic video game-themed Halloween party, dressed as characters from Super Mario Brothers. But an unexpected glimpse of part of Cas's costume might just change their plans.

Explicit Rating

Tags: AU - College/University, Halloween Costumes, Friends to Lovers, Roommates, Fluff and Smut

Broken Wings and Spooky Things by @nox-lee for wargurl83

A case at a Halloween party takes a dangerous turn and Dean sees a whole new side of Cas.

Explicit Rating

Tags: Post-case, Halloween Costumes, Hurt Castiel, Wing Kink, Smut

Angels and Demons and Treats by @snarkysnartes for elizasugarcane

It's almost Halloween and Dean and Cas' son is feeling just a little bit upset.

General Rating

Tags: Fluff

Sweet Shenanigans by tfw_cas for supernatural9917

When a series of practical jokes occur in and around the bunker in the days leading up to Halloween, TFW 2.0 are left puzzled and a little irritated. Who is pulling these pranks, and for what reason? Dean is determined to discover the truth, and if that means spending time researching with his favourite angel, all the better. Maybe it will even bring them closer together.

Explicit Rating

Tags: Pranks and Practical Jokes, Humor, Fluff and Smut, First Time, Bath Sex

A Promise at Sunrise by @alessariel for spnhell

“Dude, don’t look now, but there’s another guy wearing the same costume as you!” Charlie daintily sipped her drink while Dean nearly spat out his beer.

What starts with a similar costume rapidly turns into the most amazing one-night stand Dean's ever had. Cas is funny, gorgeous, mysterious and really knows how to use his... wings. Among other things.

Dean made Cas promise to stay the night and watch the sunrise with him, but he finds himself hoping that Cas will stay a lot longer than that.

Explicit Rating

Tags: Alternative Universe, Creature Fic, Creature Castiel, Smut and Fluff, Bottom Dean

Under the Mask by @tobythewise for deadlykittenkay

Dean's heart is torn. On the one hand, he's been in love with his roommate slash best friend for years. On the other hand, he's about to meet his online Sir for the first time. His heart (and his dick) are conflicted. What could go wrong?

Explicit Rating

Tags: Friends to Lovers, Online Relationship, Two Person Love Triangle, Sub Dean, Dom Castiel, Roommates, Panty Kink, Sexting, Dirty Talk

A Samhain Nights Dream by @ellenofoz for crypto

Dean and Castiel finally get the chance to go away for a few days to the Ozark Mountains over Halloween. They arrive in town, only to discover that trick or treaters are going missing.

They agree to help out, even though working this case is preventing Dean from getting into his boyfriend’s satin panties. The kids are probably just hiding somewhere, stuffing their faces with candy, right?

Wrong.

Explicit Rating

Tags: Canon Divergence, Fairies, Panty Kink, Cowboy Castiel, Established Relationship, Dorks in Love

Fly Home by @neonbat666 for pimentogirl

Dean tried to be the big brother Sam would be proud of, even if he didn't know the first thing about taking care of an injured raven he found in his backyard. All he had to do was wait for when his Vet brother could swing his ass by and pick it up. Then again, he should have known life was never so easy.

Explicit Rating

Tags: AU - Creature Fic, Creature Castiel, Samhain Magic, Writer Dean

Not the Straw that Broke the Camel’s Back, but the Feather by prolixdreams for a_dusky_gold

Cas can't keep his wings off the Earthly plane. What's causing this, and what will it cause?

Explicit Rating

Tags: Angel Wings, Wing Kink, Road Trip

Every Part of You by @spnhell for jemariel

Dean doesn't get why Cas wants to celebrate Halloween. Every day of their lives is frickin' Halloween, and he's said as much more than once. But Cas won't be swayed, and with Sam off for the month hunting with Garth, Dean decides to hell with it, he's got nothing better to do. Of course, he ends up with way more than he bargained for when Cas takes his command to go and 'change into something more comfortable' a little too literally.

Explicit Rating

Tags: Bunker fic, Canon divergence, Castiel with wings, Wing Kink, Halloween Costumes, Grooming, Smut, Bottom Cas, Fluff

Would You by @leafzelindor for prolixdreams

Dean get's a chance to see Castiel's wings after the empty. Then he gets a chance to touch, which leads to more.

Explicit Rating

Tags: Art in Fic, Wing Kink, Grooming, Bottom Dean, Getting Together

Coffee on Halloween by @foxymoley for ultimatetrollcolinfirth

SFW ART

But Dean Likes Cowboys by @pimentogirl for ellenofoz

SFW ART

He Lost a Bet by @delicious-irony for plaid-and-devils-traps

NSFW ART

Halloween Night by @starmouse123 for beetlepiss

SFW ART

Flash x2 by @foxymoley for snarkysnartes

SFW ART

"Well, one of us is going to have to change” by @cryptomoon for delicious-irony

SFW ART

#pbexchange #pbexchangehalloween #pbexchangemasterpost #member fic #member art

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