#I just want you to provide some basic translation sentences is that so fucking hard

[the-busy-ghost]

Um Duolingo, what the hell is this:

As if it wasn't bad enough that the new pathway removed a bunch of my progress (AND takes ages to move onto the next topic so I'm not improving), and that they removed the wordlist so I can no longer keep on top of vocabulary, now I have no idea whether I'm meeting my own daily target or not?S

#Yet more nonsense #PLEASE stop messing with it PLEASE #Stop gamifying it! I do not need to be give little quests and combo bonus and god knows what else #I just want you to provide some basic translation sentences is that so fucking hard #It's harder to supplement with other forms of learning as well #How am I supposed to improve when your stupid pathway has been teaching me the same 4 words & grammar lesson for two months #How am I supposed to practise and learn new vocabulary when a) there isn't a list any more #And b) there's barely enoug new content each day to make it worthwhile #I don't want to play linguistic candy crush I want to learn a language #I don't want little trophies and the opportunity to buy more gems or whatever #Also why are there almost no translation exercises any more- proper ones? #I keep getting given a word bank to choose from with very few options to type out my own instead #It makes it way too easy and I'm not learning anythin just clicking on the words available

[sunshine304]

Yeah I saw minmoyu's post, which was worded very eloquently, and they really said it well :*it's not anyone's problem if someone is poor and can't afford to buy it* because that is very true, and I will be one of those insignificant people who'll gradually get purged out of the cnovel fandom on the grounds of being poor so I thought it's interesting that the moral side of the argument have such a lovely way of expressing that, their hot take really helped

Referring to this post by Minmoyu. It seems that all this escalated in an extreme way over on twitter (where I'm not and I'm thankful for that every day XD); some harsh and insulting words were said on both sides which is not okay. But that seems to be how twitter operates nowadays, sadly.

I do feel sorry for people who truly are not able to pay. And I'm sorry that this might mean for you that you won't be able to read some of it anymore. Capitalism is a fucked up system and the huge gap between the very poor and the very rich seems to be especially extreme in the US. I of course don't know where you're from, Anon, but just going from what I see on my dash about bad financial situations – the majority is from the US. And if a person cannot spare those $ 17,- to pay on jjwx because this would mean they won't be able to pay their rent next week, or they'll have to starve for the next three weeks, then it's understandable how very upset some readers of translated danmei are about the situation. There are of course also others, who have other reasons why they don't want / cannot pay, some more and some less convincing or reasonable.

I am in the lucky and privileged situation that I do not have to worry about basic living costs, simply because I've got a rather secure full-time job, lucked out with a really cheap flat, and several of my hobbies that I usually pay for were not possible during the last year (like going to the cinema). I am also lucky to live in Germany, where the social system usually acts as a safety net for people who lose their job or who have health issues etc.

Though I do acknowledge the problems of people who really cannot pay, this is still, at the end of the day, a problem of an unjust society and capitalist market structures.

It's not the fault of danmei fan translators, who provide a service for free and in their free time. Translating these works takes a lot of time. I've done a tiny bit of translation work for my job, which really had me struggling at times, looking up words even though I understood the sentence – but finding a fitting translation that didn't sound awkward was difficult. And that was only from English to German, which is quite straigthtforward!

So, as hard as it may be for some readers of translated danmei, the translators are free to do with their hard work what they want. Insulting them, grumbling about how "what they're doing is illegal anyway“ etc., ist just very disrespectful. Without their hard work, Western audiences wouldn't even be able to read danmei, or wouldn't even know about it at all. Because the fan translators could just... not translate anything. They don't need to do it for themselves. They understand the stories just fine. But they do it because they enjoy the stories so much that they want to make them available to a wider audience. And I don't think it's too much to ask that the people who can afford to support the author also do so. Because in the end, jjwx is a business and how many copies are sold of a particular danmei has direct consequences for the author (of course in how much they earn, but also increased popularity may lead to more adaptations etc.).

I guess I'm not the right person to really commiserate, because I don't have any stakes in this. I do have several danmei files saved, but it's not what I currently read. That's mostly fanfiction, tbh. XD And the many books I've piled up over the years... So if danmei would suddenly be behind a paywall, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it or be super sad. I'm just not invested enough. (I also, as I said, am privileged enough to pay that money, if I really wanted to read that particular translation.)

But I'm sorry for people who really got hit with this, and who are genuinely hurt by it (and not just being whiny babies because that's what you do on twitter).

As far as I can see, translators aren't locking the main works, but are for now going for some extra chapters that aren't necessary for the main story, or for advanced chapters if readers don't want to wait. This might be a good compromise for now, and perhaps when everyone has cooled down again, there can be a reasonable conversation about it.

So, this is much longer than I intended, and I ended up writing out my thoughts on this issue in general... Uhm yeah.

#danmei #fan translations #danmei fandom #danmei discourse i guess #asks #my posts

[heyktula]

Closer, Chapter Three: Consensual - Bonus Features

Chapter three of Closer, the first installment in Somewhere in Canada (the Terror kink AU)... is now up! It's a long one again! The author continues to not be sorry!

Same deal as last week--technical notes first, story notes after, line notes to finish it all up.

Alright, here we go.

Technical Considerations:

Language: Phew, okay. So, I've written plenty of "hard kink written hard" (and arguably some "soft kink written hard"), but with this piece, I specifically wanted to do "hard kink written soft" so, uh, language is a thing! Ie, the sentence "Edward curled his hand into a fist and punched Jopson" does not belong in this fic, because there is nothing soft about that sentence no matter how much Edward loves him positive regard Edward is feeling toward his play partner.

So in order to make this fly the way I wanted to (ie, softly), I tried to avoid over-use of words like "fist", "hit", "punch", and that type of thing. I ended up in a really interesting rabbit hole that I think helped me get further into Edward's head, because the narrative had to become more focused on the technical aspects of what he's doing, and the physical results it's having on Jopson. It also emphasizes the continual assessment of how things are going that's necessary to do this kind of play safely--especially when it's the first time doing this type of play with a partner. And, it's in-character--Edward is an over-thinker anyway.

(I think the scene would have been softer, and probably more romantic, in Jopson's POV, but it would have been far blurrier as well, because he's pretty deep in subspace.)

While I'm talking about language, I'll just mention one other thing--Edward's knowledge of trans men has been academic up to this point, and he's approaching it the same way he approaches everything else, which is listening, learning as fast as he can, and taking Jopson's lead. It also means he's using--and will continue to use--the same language for Jopson as he would for any other man.

Capitalization of Sir: There's a whole entire thing in some subsets of BDSM about capitalization. At the extreme end, all references to the dominant are capitalized, all references to the submissive are lower case, and all references to both are split-capped (is that how it's referred to? I have no idea, but it describes what I mean, so I'm going with it.). It can lead to sentences like "In the dungeon, My pet, michael, always follows the rules W/we have agreed on".

I can't see either Jopson or Little going for that, so we have the more casual version of it going on here--"Sir" is capitalized, but everything else is conventionally capitalized. In a (hypothetical) situation where Jopson was collared to Edward, but referred to someone else in a casual "yes, sir" way, "sir" would be lower case. But then, for extra confusion, for someone like Sir John, where the sir is part of his scene name, it'd stay capitalized, even though Jopson's not collared to him.

(For some reason, I can't picture Sir John not using Sir John as a scene name. James Clark Ross, on the other hand, I feel can take or leave the title unless he's entered into a formal arrangement with someone, in which case that's between him and Ann and whoever else to sort something out.)

Hard Cuts: That's right, I put a hard cut in the middle of the dungeon scene. In my defense, it takes a while to bruise someone whose skin is resistant to bruising, and it's a very repetitive process. Jopson and Edward had a perfectly nice time without us, and I documented most of the good bits for you. (I do feel a bit bad for skipping the majority of the aftercare, but imo, the story arc is fine as it is, and we see enough to know that Jopson has his jacket around his shoulders the way he wanted it, so we can assume Edward bossed it out for the rest of the aftercare too.)

Story Considerations:

Bootblacking: I am not a bootblack. Ideally, this isn't obvious, because I did Online Research, but for people who do bootblack, I'm sorry if I fucked it up.

Also, one thing that I learned in the course of my research is that there's two different kinds of boots--regular boots, which need to be polished, and then oil-tanned boots, which need to be conditioned instead. I gave Edward oil-tanned boots, because that involves a hell of a lot of leg massage via rubbing conditioner into the boot, and I wanted Edward to have a nice tactile experience. (Okay, fine, I also wanted Jopson to be able to show off his skillset.)

Consent Negotiation: I love consent negotiation. I think it's great foreplay, a great way to build hype for a scene, and I think it gives you a sense of a person before you go in and do intimate and/or dangerous stuff with them. I think Edward's initial plan for having the consent negotiation once they'd moved over to the mats was good. I think Jopson's plan of doing the consent negotiation while Edward was a captive audience getting his boots conditioned was better.

There's so many bits and pieces to consent negotiation as well--there's the physical bit (like medical conditions and whether you've had food/water recently--after all, you're putting your body through something challenging, and if you're dehydrated or fasting, that's not ideal conditions), there's the mental bit (like not liking to be humiliated, and any trigger words or actions that should be avoided), and then there's the actual activities that you're going to plan on doing. Typically, there would be an additional bit, and that would be the sharing of STI results. Edward skipped that during this negotiation for two reasons--firstly, he generally just does dry play, ie, no body fluids exchanged. And, secondly, no sex in this particular dungeon. As it turned out, it wouldn't have hurt to have done that.

(Jopson clearly did his own risk assessment on the barrier-free blowjob, and was fine with his chances--but, then, I suspect if you read between the lines on Edward's blog, the lack of a fluid-bonded partner, or an intimate partner of any kind, would have been apparent.)

Dungeon Monitors: Dungeon monitors (DMs) are present in most dungeons, except the play-at-your-own-risk-in-someone's-basement type (and sometimes even those have them). Their general function is to make sure that people are safe, that equipment is being cleaned properly after use, that medical treatment is provided if it's needed, and that type of thing. I figured the medical team was a good translation, so between Goodsir and McDonald, they're splitting the dungeon between themselves for the first chunk of the night. (Presumably Peddie and Stanley are on the later shift, or maybe Bridgens is assisting, but either way, Edward was not paying attention and did not care.)

(I bet Stanley hates dungeon shifts.)

DMs generally wear vests or some sort of gear that makes them easy to spot, which is especially important when they're almost always members of the community as well, meaning that they need to distinguish between when they're on duty, and when they're playing. The radios are handy in case an ambulance needs to be called, which does sometimes happen, but it's also good to allow them to communicate with each other.

For the majority of play, it's not necessary to talk to a DM beforehand. (YMMV, consult your dungeon rules, etc.) In Edward and Jopson's case, since they're going fairly hard, it's a good idea to give a heads-up to your DM to let them know that the scene is happening. McDonald would have been watching them pretty sharply as the play got going, and then probably less so once they settled into it.

Edward noticed exactly zero of this, because he didn't care.

(I guess an additional note there is that sometimes there's a "fear factor" involved in physical play, where the dominant/top partner is specifically and consensually trying to instigate a fear reaction in the submissive/bottom partner. So in that case, having a DM aware of what's happening and what the safewords are is real important to make sure that everything is above-board, ie, the safewords aren't being deliberately ignored.)

Dungeon Rules: They totally would have fucked if they hadn't been in Canada.

Sorry to both of them, but sorry to Jopson in particular.

Subspace: So subspace is basically an altered state of consciousness that can be dropped into during BDSM play. Every submissive/bottom gets there at different speeds and through different methods. Jopson is a masochist, so pain will get him there--but he's deeply into ritual as well, and so just the act of bootblacking for an hour prior to Edward getting there has already gotten him started on that path--though, as he notes, not far enough that he can't pull himself back out of it if it's no longer appropriate to be in it. It's sort of like a hot bath, in that way--if you've just dipped your toes in it, fine, you can go answer the doorbell. But if you've been submerged in the tub for an hour, you're not getting out unless something really pressing happens.

The general, uh, fuzzy nature of subspace means that Edward's call not to discuss facefucking was a good one, because Jopson would have just said yes, and Edward would have derailed himself wondering if it was an honest yes. As it was, Edward got the unprompted deepthroating, and I don't think he has any regrets whatsoever about that one.

Line Notes:

There’s no way for Jopson to know that Edward purchased two collars for him, but he’s showing off his neck like he’s trying to make a point of it, like he’s trying to bring out all the possessive bits that Edward is trying to keep tamped down.

That's exactly what he's doing, Edward. He's trying to gently coax you into going feral on him.

He should have adjusted his dick before he sat down, but it’s too late to do that now without being territorial about it.

Tozer wouldn't hesitate for one moment. He adjusts his dick when he feels like it. Just as an aside.

I don’t see you, Edward wants to say. How have I lived my entire fucking life without ever having seen you?

It's because you and Tozer go to the shittier clubs with louder music and younger people, and I don't think Jopson has been to a club like that in his entire life.

(God, I have, like, an entire essay worth of headcanons about Jopson and his Terror and Erebus experiences.)

“Safeword,” Edward says, after some time has passed.

Jopson looks up at him, eyes wide, and says nothing.

So, we were talking about Jopson's risk assessments earlier, re: the blowjob, and here's another point where Jopson is flirting with the possibility of playing with Edward irresponsibly.  I think there's a couple different things to observe here--and the first is that the ideal response is the one that Edward gives, which is essentially "absolutely fuck that, we'll play with a safeword that you're going to use when you need it, or we won't play at all". The other responses are...less than ideal, but Jopson might have still played with Edward under those circumstances anyways, and that's on Joppie to justify, cuz I'm not gonna bend over backwards to justify that for him. I do think, though, that there's a couple points that happen over the course of the weekend where nobody would blame Jopson if he was doing an assessment and figuring out--is there the possibility of a long-term thing here, or is this a one-weekend-only thing? And in every case, Edward is coming down solidly into the long-term possibility category.

Jopson frees the laces, runs them between his fingers. “I’ll get chatty before I get quiet. When I stop responding verbally when you speak to me, pull me back out, please—speak to me, get me something to drink. Drape my jacket back over my shoulders.” His mouth twists a moment. “I may get…affectionate, but you shouldn’t—”

There's so much here that I want to talk about! First of all, Jopson is highly comfortable with and cognizant of his own response to this type of play, and he's able to articulate that response very clearly--which is something that comes with experience. He's communicating to Edward the point where he wants the play to stop--ie, when he no longer responds verbally--and he's also clear about what needs to be done to gently tug him back out of it. (Coming back out of it isn't always required, but in this case, since they're sleeping separately and working in the morning, it's for the best.)

If Jopson had finished his last sentence, it would have been along the lines of "I may get affectionate, but you shouldn't take it seriously if I do". I pulled directly from Jopson's abandonment issues in canon for that one, and it hurts my feelings to put it here, but it's here so that Edward can respond appropriately this time. I think any feelings that Jopson has during scenes are legitimate--but I also suspect, based on this, that Jopson has been affectionate during scenes before, and had that affection rebuffed, or had it indicated to him that the affection wasn't welcome or needed, so he's used to disclaiming it. Which, ouch.

“Good job,” he says, voice low and right next to Jopson’s ear. “Pack your things. I’m coming back for you.”

Speaking of AU!Edward Littles that didn't fuck up their decisions, here's one right here.

His hand is pleasantly tingling, his mind starting to fuzz out with endorphins, and he wants Jopson to feel the same—

So Edward puts literally zero thought into his own headspace throughout this scene, because that's the kind of POV character he is, but you can see the beginning of his...actually, I don't even know the word for it. Whatever the equivalent of subspace is for doms, Edward is getting into it.

I like symmetry

Says the man with the tattoo on one arm. Alright, Ned. Alright.

"Mrf." Jopson swallows, the movement of his neck something Edward can actually feel, now that he's carrying Jopson fully. "Don’t want to derail the scene—I just—a minute—your cock is quite distracting."

I love that all the physical play was just fine, but it's being nestled against Edward's hardon that makes Jopson need a minute. (Which, fair.)

“Yeah,” Edward manages. “I can—I can do that. You, uh, the safewords?”

One of the things I really love about Edward here is that when he gets overwhelmed with how awesome something is, he reverts back to safety and checking in with his partner. (I'm pretty sure you could contrast that with Tozer, who I'm pretty sure would just talk filth until he'd gotten a grip on things again, and Crozier, who I see as pretty unflappable during play considering that he hasn't met a certain "online guy" yet.)

“I can’t believe we can’t fuck in here,” Jopson mutters grouchily.

Couldn't get ploughed in the dungeon the way I wanted, 0/10 on TripAdvisor.

Edward puts his hands behind his head, tugs at his own hair a moment to ground himself, and then curls his hands into fists where Jopson can’t see them, brings them down and around, quick and sudden, thumping the sides of his hands into Jopson’s ribs.

The very first time I was in a rough play workshop, this move was demonstrated. The demo bottom was facing the audience, and the presenter was sitting on a table behind him. They had him put his hands behind his neck and just stand there and wait while they was talking about something else, but from our position in the audience, we could see them raise their hands above their head, and knew what they were going to do, because they mimed it out for us first. I think that's where I fell in love with this kind of play, because they made it fun.

“I’ll go faster for the rest,” Edward promises. “Keep counting, and you’ll get your reward on five.”

Or, you know, on six, because one of you wanted five hits in a row and restarted the count on purpose, and the other one of you stuck to your promise of going with a verbal command of five because there wasn’t enough time to go through the whole ‘what is the correct response here’ and muscle memory won out over anxiety domming. (You can save your “oops”, Jopson, we all know it’s insincere.) 

Jopson doesn’t scream. His entire body goes stiff, breath sucking quick into his lungs and his fingernails digging sharply into Edward’s bare back, legs clenching around Edward’s thigh, and it’s like time just fucking stops for one ecstatic moment until Jopson goes limp, his hands patting randomly on Edward’s back, over the scratches he’s just left in Edward’s skin that Edward is going to treasure forever, because he did that to Jopson and he’s going to wear these scratches with fucking pride.

Y'all, Edward "so excited about the part where he scratched me that I completely missed the part where he came" Little. He'll be here all weekend.

Jopson blinks, slow and easy. “Quite lovely, thank you. Everything cleaned up?”

I'm deeply in favour of doms who look after cleaning up the space while their subs recover. I'm not convinced that Little and Jopson will fall into that pattern permanently, but I think it's a sweet gesture on Edward's part that he looks after everything for their first time. It's also a very encouraging thing for Jopson--because, say, if he was trying to make sure that he wasn't going to have his service taken for granted, this is a good indication that it won't be.

Edward feels vaguely like he should demur, out of manners, or, uh. Concern for Jopson’s knees, or—or his, um. Aftercare. Or. Or something.

I love deep POV.

Edward raises his eyebrows, deliberately puts his hands flat on the wall behind him. He’s suddenly very, very hard. “I’m not gonna stop you if you want to do it yourself,” he says, voice rough. “That’s hot as fuck.”

*eyeballs emoji*

(And we can make a note of that particular detail for the next chapter, when Edward awkwardly discloses something that Jopson already suspects--or, at least, would suspect if he weren't currently high as fuck on happy endorphins.)

“Oh my god, I am so sorry,” Edward says. He swallows. “I—uh. Sorry, this is stupid, I forgot they were there—I generally do, you know, warn people in advance, this isn’t how I normally—I, uh.”

I suspect the actual issue here is that the last time Edward had his dick sucked, there wasn't nearly as much metal in it, so "hey my dick is heavily pierced" isn't a conversation that he's used to having, but Edward can excuse this however he likes.

...it’s just—he’s just—he’s never—not without his partner gagging, and there were always other things they could do, there were always—fuck—this was never a priority...

Little refuses to think of his own dick as big, because it's the dick he's always had, so unfortunately, this is the closest we're gonna get to confirmation of his dick size in his POV.

Edward can feel—oh, fuck, no, that’s not just his cock, he can feel his own piercings in Jopson’s throat, the hard balls of the barbells firm under his fingertips, and Edward’s balls tighten.

I don't want to admit how much time I spent trying to figure out if this was a legitimate thing, but it was more than an hour, I couldn't find an answer, I have no one to ask, and I liked the mental image too much to let it go, so now we're all stuck with it.

I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not.

Edward takes a deep breath, steps into the hotel room, and shoulders his responsibilities.

Edward, sweetie. Sol would be the first one to tell you that he can handle himself.

I mean, we can all agree that he clearly didn’t handle himself particularly well tonight.

But he’d be the first one to tell you to fuck off.

Phew. That's it for this week! Chapter four, Kink, goes up next Friday, and we'll touch on Solomon Tozer's no-good very-bad day then.

And if you have questions or anything in the meantime, you can always drop me an ask on tumblr or Curious Cat. I know I didn't cover everything, even in this long-ass entry, cuz there's a fuck of a lot of stuff going on in the foreground, much less the background. I honestly don't mind if you ask, it's totally cool. :)

See you next week!

#the terror #the terror fic #fic: closer #joplittle #fic breakdown #ktula writes #fic: the terror kink au

[metalchick19-blog]

The Bowers Gang: How the Guys Would “Get It on” with a Shy Partner (Anonymous Request)

Warning: NSFW, Offensive/Explicit Language

* Any and all credit for this idea goes to the requestor.

Belch 

Would assume the dominant role even though it’s not typically his thing

Mainly because he’d want to keep his partner comfortable rather than force them to be in control

Translation: Huggins is the ultimate sweetheart, and will suffer so that you and your awkwardness don’t have to

Swallows the majority of his fear (unsuccessfully)

Tries to channel Henry when things first get started 

Legit grabs his partner’s face and pulls them into a rough kiss (Henry successfully channeled)

Ignores their noises of surprise, and immediately starts working his hands underneath their clothes

Molds and massages their waist/breasts so hard, it hurts 

Suddenly pulls his partner to him in another deep tongue kiss, then pushes them down hard on the mattress and starts pulling at the buttons of their pants 

... At which point he stops for a second, and realizes that his partner looks overwhelmed as fuck 

All sexual activity halts, because partial consent isn’t a thing (and our glorious teddy bear knows it)

Has an emotional check-in with his s/o

Essentially comes to realize that, although some dominance is good, Henry-level dominance is scary for most people 

Goes back to taking control, but in his own, Belch-like way 

* Which means lots of kisses and sweet talk mixed in*

Discovers he’s good at it after a while, and learns to genuinely enjoy being more “alpha male” in bed 

Becomes increasingly good at dirty talk, taking control when on top, etc.

Open to so many new, kinky things immediately following

Ends up basically being the best thing that has happened for his self-confidence, ever

Ever. 

Henry

Feels compelled to be way more gentle than usual, and is kind of freaked out about it

Just sees his partner as so smol, and doesn’t want to degrade or get violent with them like he does with most other girls 

But seriously so thrown by it, it’s almost weird 

Moves in slow, and kisses his partner very softly to start

No tongue at first - just the softness of their lips

Makes out with his partner for a long time

Pauses once, his lips just grazing his s/o’s, with barely any distance between them

Likes hearing his partner try to steady their breathing, and is so turned on by their closeness (which has never been a thing with him)

Continues making out

Slowly starts to move a hand up his partner’s shirt

“Pants off party” officially begins 

Both get undressed - Henry continues to kiss his partner, stretched out on top of them, before shifting down between their legs 

Notices his partner trembling, takes one of their hands, and keeps his fingers intertwined with theirs as he eats them out

Other hand is gripped on the meat of their thigh, pushing his partner’s leg upwards (for easy access)

Continues to drive his partner wild for an entire 15 minutes (truly has a great tongue - just rarely ever unselfish enough to use it) before really starting up with them

Essentially, Henry’s entire sexual M/O would change 

No more fucking (except on bad days and during fights) - only making love 

Slow thrusts, quiet breaths, deeply intimate feel

Basically the nicest touches that Henry has ever been exposed to, or dealt out

... But still dominant by nature, and will sometimes incorporate dirty talk and/or or light choking (but no degrading or straight-up hitting like before) 

Patrick

... Frankly, you should never have come here 

Shy people, prepare to make some of the must fucked up memories of your life 

Major dominant as it is, and would use his partner’s shyness to his full advantage 

Literally corners them the first time they do it (backed them against a wall in his bedroom), and just stands over them for a while, watching them be uncomfortable

Truly fascinated by the fact that his partner won’t meet his eyes; just stares at the ground “like a good little girl”

Slow, disturbingly excited panting begins 

Takes his partner’s hand and presses it hard against his crotch - forces them to start rubbing him through his pants 

Keeps his hand on top of theirs - makes them rub faster and harder, slowly getting giddy over the fact that they won’t even pull away (though they’re clearly uneasy)

Stops rubbing once he gets close, and just keeps panting over his partner

Which basically feels like moist, cold air all over their face (enjoy) 

Panting

Panting

Overly enthusiastic panting, now mixed with intense, animal-eyed staring 

Tips his partner’s chin up to look directly in his eyes

Grips their chin hard when they try to look away, forcing them to stay connected with him

Has absolutely nothing in his eyes for a good 10 seconds - just deep, animal desire

No semblance of anything human

Just blackness, devoid of all feeling

Clear, in that moment, that he sees his s/o as an object, and truly sets his partner on edge

... Until he grins, lets the “Patrick” flow back into his face, and comes out with a single sentence:

“Open big for Daddy, princess.”

Forces his partner to their knees, and gets his before officially starting things

In general, takes his partner to new sexual extremes - they will experience pain and pleasure like they never have before 

Intense (and often frightening) degrees of physical torture - will choke his partner until they pass out, burn them to the point of serious skin damage, and will cut them deeply enough to scar, among other things 

Mainly because they’re just not confrontational enough to say stop...

... and even when they do, it’s so quiet he can pretend he didn’t hear 

Provided they survive everything, they’ll be Patrick’s favorite “toy” forever 

... Yeah. That’s the prize in this situation.

Victor

Loves shyness in general, and is extremely stoked to have a shy partner 

Mostly because he isn’t the biggest guy (yes, he’s aware), and being with a shy girl gives him more of a chance to be “the protector”

Also basically a dominant (even though he doesn’t consciously realize it), and finds nervousness adorable

Starts slow in the interest of not overwhelming his partner...

... but is seriously turned on by how timid they are (innocence = most attractive thing in the world to Criss)

Gets a little bit harder every time he hears his partner take a shaky breath between kisses 

Smiles against their lips

Puts a hand on their cheek to steady them, so they know he’s in control 

Tries to look into their eyes a few times (on purpose) just because he thinks it’s so friggin’ cute when they look away 

But provides smiles and verbal reassurances up the wazoo (“... You’re shaking… You’re okay, baby, I promise… Nothing’s gonna happen that you don’t want… and everything’s gonna happen that you do…”)

Genuinely cares about his partner’s experience, and works hard to make them comfortable even though he’s actively turned on by their nervousness 

Undresses himself first before moving on to them

Unties their shoes (and makes them feel like the Cinderella they always wanted to be when he takes them off)

Strips off their pants, unbuttons their shirt 

Very slow, gentle movements - pays attention to every detail as he uncovers their naked body

Appreciates each part of them as he makes his ways up (kisses and caresses their legs, kisses the lower part of their stomach as he pulls up their shirt, etc.)

Makes sure all trembling has ceased, and full comfort is felt before truly starting 

Has 10/10 sex with a shy partner on a regular basis 

Perfect amount of tension, mixed with the perfect amount of comfort, mixed with maximum levels of attractiveness?

I think yes.

#henry bowers #patrick hockstetter #belch huggins #victor criss #The Bowers Gang #the bowers gang headcanons #it

[swampgallows]

like this shit is so long

Only once Jaina was back in her own rooms in Theramore, and her head had begun to cool off from the madness – indeed, wild hope, chilling fears, joy and a thousand other emotions spinning through her head, only one step from insanity – only then did she remember that she had forgot to ask one important question, and it froze the grin on her face.

Something so small but so important to the culture she grew up in – even stricter than normal for her, a woman of such a fine family line. Something so small, so ridiculous even, but not dismissible and it had haunted her only in its current form in peaceful times. There had been no time for it before, not when her life took plunges – I will be a mage, a scholar dedicated to study and magic to We may not be alive tomorrow and onwards through We are alive and building a new home.

She stared out of one of the window of her chambers, without really seeing anything. Unwittingly, one of her hands went to her stomach.

Only after the chaos she found herself the owner of her own throne, and with that, being a person who was expected to eventually produce an heir who could sit on that throne later on.

Before that, she had only been haunted by regret and bitterness, and the memory of sweet whispers, of fingertips and warmth that had turned colder than ice. Both of them young and foolish, knowing they were as good as betrothed – it would only be a few words away, the match was suitable even in a politician's eye – but duty called him, and magic her. And then he turned into the greatest evil to walk Azeroth, barring Archimonde and his ilk.

Bitterness and regret being mere personal torture, but with her current position the problem became a tangible… inconvenience to say the least. Before, she may have pushed it aside and felt that she would face it the day she had a suitable suitor.

And how long ago was it, young lady, that you could bear thinking of anyone but him touching you?

this shit is so fucking long and it doesn’t say anything new. there are three different paragraphs talking about “before” but it’s not for emphasis and it doesn’t provide any new information. if i were the editor, i would do this:

HAHAHA OH HOLY SHIT I GOT ON MY LAPTOP AND THIS WAS THE LAST THING ON MY CLIPBOARD HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

anyway my edit would be like

Only once Jaina was back in her own rooms in Theramore, and her head had begun to cool off from the madness – indeed, wild hope, chilling fears, joy and a thousand other emotions spinning through her head, only one step from insanity – only then did she remember that she had forgot[en] to ask one important question[.] and it froze [T]he grin on her face [froze].

Something so small but so important to the culture she grew up in – even stricter than normal for her, a woman of such a fine family line. Something so small, so ridiculous even, but not dismissible and it had haunted her only in its current form in peaceful times. There had been no time for it before, not when her life took plunges – I will be a mage, a scholar dedicated to study and magic to We may not be alive tomorrow and onwards through We are alive and building a new home.

She [blankly] stared out of one of the window of her chambers, without really seeing anything. Unwittingly, one of her hands went to her stomach.

Only after the chaos she found herself the owner of her own throne, and with that, being a person who was expected to eventually produce an heir who could sit on that throne later on.

Before that, she had only been haunted by regret and bitterness, and the memory of sweet whispers, of fingertips and warmth that had turned colder than ice. Both of them young and foolish, knowing they were as good as betrothed – it would only be a few words away, the match was suitable even in a politician's eye – but duty called him, and magic her. And then he turned into the greatest evil to walk Azeroth, barring Archimonde and his ilk.

Bitterness and regret being mere personal torture, but with her current position the problem became a tangible… inconvenience[,] to say the least. Before, she may have pushed it aside and felt that she would face it the day she had a suitable suitor.

And how long ago was it, young lady, that you could bear thinking of anyone but him touching you?

like so much of this is just not contributing anything. it’s a fic, we already know who these characters are, and there was already a previous chapter before this detailing jaina’s situation and hyjal and everything else. all of it is really implicit that she forgot to ask thrall if he wanted kids, it doesn’t need the like three paragraphs of Jaina is a Human Female and Expected to Have Children. this isnt an alien species being introduced to us like most couplings in azeroth bring up children as a factor. 

i dunno like i know people write fic for fun but this shit is 100k and when there is this much unnecessary detail it’s hard to see the forest for the trees as it were, and it makes it a slog to get through. i also dont “speed read” because most of my reading has been academic where every single word counts, and part of me feels like it’s disrespectful to the author. like they put these words down to be read, and so i will read them, but that’s also the way i’ve been trained to read.  also since i spent most of my schooling reading stuff like shakespeare or canterbury tales or les miserables you have to stop like every five syllables to look shit up or derive some kind of analysis unless it’s a modern adaptation that doesnt require any “translation” necessarily.  

basically like. writing is fun but editing is important. more people will read your fic when it isn’t 30% filler. and ive complained about it before but like word count doesnt have any fucking bearing at all on the quality of writing. in fact, when i see ship fics that skyrocket to like 150k words in a handful of chapters im like dang bitch you cant write for shit!!! if you cant get across what you wanna say in that amount of words and youre STILL not done it means you gotta pare some shit down. 

it’s why i prefer writing over talking EVERY time because i KNOW i ramble irl. and in a casual setting like this, a blog post, i of course will ramble here too. but in writing??? writing that people read? everything you write should convey something and drive your story forward. every sentence you type is communicating something. if you get through the whole paragraph and all you can extract from it is “jaina realizes motherhood is a possibility again”, it needs to say something more. i mean this is all just my opinion but like it’s so important to the tone of your writing.

i remember when i was reading the shining, and early on in the story jack is being instructed in the boiler room. and the attendant or janitor or whatever you’d call him goes on for a HUGE block of text of all the mechanisms and step-by-step explains each and every facet of the machinery, how to use it, what it’s for. there aren’t even indents in the paragraph. and then it mentions off-handedly how jack was giving quick responses like “yup”, “uh-huh”, shit like that. i mean it’s been a few years since i read it so im paraphrasing. but that part of the book stood out to me because it was so immersive. the way it was written and the way the information was being relayed was specifically to bore the reader, to put them in jack’s position, and also maybe intimidate them a little bit. and of course it was foreshadowing, too, when later in the story jack is struggling with the boiler, and i actually went and flipped back to the instructions earlier in the book to review what jack was supposed to do. and then i thought, “boy, i bet jack wished he was me right now, because i have everything all written down!” 

but anyway, like. that’s good writing. that’s using the medium of text to its advantage to communicate on a meta-level how the audience should feel, and that we are all jack in that moment, being told a huge laundry list of shit we have to do—being paid to do, our sole responsibility on this job—and totally mentally checking out. i LOVE jaina, and i LOVE thrall, but the way this fic is written portrays them both as totally spaced out, completely unsympathetic characters. what i read above isn’t communicating jaina’s trauma to me; it sounds condescending, like she’s such an air-headed dim bulb that she forgot to ask her new husband if he wanted kids.

and the “proposal” was like... extremely awkward? i mean maybe that’s what the author is going for but thrall being basically like “uhh i guess? yeah i guess.” and then it says they talked for an hour but couldnt stay longer than that because they’re both leaders and couldn’t stay away too long. like... i feel like this is supposed to be a pretty important thing? marriage? it’s the setup for the whole fic and it’s played so... underwhelmingly. which i dont feel is intentional.

I KNOW it’s just a fic and i’m being very critical but it’s just like damn everybody bitches about blizzard’s “bad writing” but then nobody steps up to the plate. :\ i dunno how anybody spends so much time reading fanfiction when most of it is such a fucking chore to read. god i hope my story isnt like that.

#blathering

[ashleylikeshorror]

Stephen King’s “1922″: A Comparison Between the Novel & Netflix’s Adaptation

“In the end we are all caught in devices of our own making.” 

It was that time again to find another book to read during those evenings where everyone in the home was off doing their own thing. Not wanting anything too long, I picked up Stephen King’s “Full Dark, No Stars.” The book features four short stories, but today I’ll be discussing only the first out of the four, as well as how I feel about the 2017 Netflix adaptation of it. 

As always: SPOILERS AHEAD  (Just to be clear, these spoilers will only be about 1922, and not any of the other three short stories from Full Dark, No Stars.)

The Novel 

I’ll be as blunt as I can possibly be. 1922 was one of the better things I’ve read in too long of a fucking time. When starting this portion of my post, I erased my first couple sentences because they were cheesy (albeit true), generic bullshit along the lines of “wow”, “simply brilliant”, or “Stephen King has done it again.” 

Our story starts out in the year of 1922 (surprising, eh?) and follows a certain sort of unfortunate fellow (of his own creation) named Wilfred James. If this story were told in any other format outside of being in the first person, I’m not sure how it would have turned out. It was because of that first person style of narration that 1922 carried along with it a certain sense of dread that had you both wanting Wilf to do better, all while resenting him for the bullshit he’d brought upon nearly everyone around him.

What I particularly loved about this book that kept me looking for any excuse to leave the comfort of my husband’s arms to let him do his own thing was the grit of it, and the eerily depicted depth of what guilt can do to a person. As his wife haunted him from the grave it was thoroughly appreciated that no one else could see just how miserable Wilf was. That even though his son was undoubtedly dragged along for the ride, no one was more tormented, dejected, nor beside himself than our narrator. And it was rightfully so as he had no one to blame other than himself. 

As the chain of events began to happen, I began to question myself if the punishment fit the crime. Even though it went unsaid, in his reality I imagine Mr. James was asking himself the same thing as well, eventually dismissing the thought because what would it matter? “What’s done is done.” Indeed. What had been done was done; the grave had been dug. The same grave appearing too small for a family plus whoever else, yet somehow managing to encompass all as though it were a clown car.  

Irony in any other case would have been welcomed with open arms for assholes like Wilfred James. In this case, it stung deep. Not for him, but for what was lost in effort to escape such fate. This irony stuck with me days after finishing the story. Hell - even now it’s bringing up a dull, warm, sad pit in my chest. Following the irony, the ending itself was a genuinely twisted phantasmagoria. Picturing it in my head while reading it next to my husband left my mouth agape to the point my husband chucked and had asked me what was going on since I’d been his TL;DR of the story for every section of it I’d read.  

The Film

*This is where the spoilers come in. Head’s up.  

Standalone, this might have a decent enough movie had it not been taking directly from any novel. However, that’s not the case, now is it? What I felt Netflix decided to give us was something I’m not sure was made with any plausible sort of good intention along the lines of “Stephen King fans are going to love this!”  It seemed more like “Eh, people eat Stephen King shit up like Thanksgiving dinner, so put the basics of the book on screen and wham-Done!” 

The film begins, and for about the first 45 mins of the film, stays true to the book down to the last detail (the ones they chose to show, at least). It was just as painful seeing Elphis fall down the well and groan for help as it was to read it. Details are fantastic and all, but not if the dread you loved in the novel is depicted absolutely nowhere. Where was that same atmosphere that had me hooked for all those many pages? 

Now don’t get me wrong, every single actor n’ actress did their part quite well. Thomas Jane made an excellent Wilfred James despite what I’d thought he’d might be. What was missing was a connection. I felt like I was just watching events happen. I wasn’t invested. I sat down every bit excited to see something that depressed me in all the ways it should depress anyone come to light on screen, only to feel unattached to anyone. Even if were someone else who saw 1922 and felt the same as me, unattached, at the very least they should’ve felt attached to their narrator, the protagonist, no matter if that attachment is wanting to see that Wilf get his just desserts, or wanting him to be the victor despite the tragedy he’s caused everyone. 

Again, standalone, this might have been a “just alright” sorta film, but because I knew what to expect, I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t happy for three main reasons which you better believe I’m going to go into here, as I immediately and beyond audibly bitched my television out after the credits began to roll. 

Reason One: The misrepresentation of Wilfred’s guilt; specifically the lack of Arlette’s taunting. The entire novel we’re graced with biting sarcasm from what Wilf was picturing his undead Arlette saying to him from beyond the grave. There was none of that torment anywhere - ANYWHERE - in the film. It were those comments in Wilf’s mind that accrued that anguish, that helped expedite his descent into madness, as well as what added to the grotesque depictions of rats, providing the gravitas of why they were there. Instead, what we’re given in the film was the one moment Arlette spoke to Wilf, which seemed more of a parental discussion than “Was it worth it, WIlf?” 

Reason Two: Progression. The hour and forty two minutes this movie plays goes by quite fast. Faster than it should resulting in it not doing any real favors for the sourced material. Stephen King’s plethora of fiction is not shy of resulting in two and a half hour, or even three plus hour long renditions on screen. I don’t give a fickedy-fackled-fuck how many pages 1922 was. It needed more than an hour and forty two minutes to secure any possible chance of maintaining the same dread as the story it was made after. It’s a whole-hearted belief of mine that it is this reason I wasn’t able to feel close with any of the characters as I once had before. Due to the length of the film, we hadn’t been given the appropriate time to know our characters, nor truly see the hard work that went into the development of the things being planned and executed as they were. 

Reason Three: How Netflix had chosen to change the ending. Don’t even start giving me that same horseshit I’ve already read up on about how it’s an open ending wherein Wilf could have taken his own life. “We don’t know for sure the spirits of those scorned took him.”  One of the reasons I was so ecstatic to see this movie was to see how the original written ending translated on screen. The film had been teasing us with the rats, his guilt, closing in on him through a hole in the wall of his hotel room. That built up tension made your intuition fly off the charts with that assured notion some shit was going to go down, and knowing what to expect, I was more than one hundred percent let the fuck down. 

The rats were supposed to eat him. The rats were supposed to eat him amidst him writing the last of his confession. The rats were supposed to be finally shown to us as Wilfred biting himself. Why, oh why, Netflix, did you not show us Thomas Jane chowing down on himself? Surely, undoubtedly, CERTAINLY this would have been far more disturbing than three spirits, three corpses coming to claim him. I mean, fuckin’ aye, my dudes. The news article that followed afterwards was what sealed the deal on the ending of the novel  making it that much more disturbing. What Netflix did here seemed like a cheap, half-assed way of ending the movie. I would say they did it to truly push that horror towards the viewer, to leave them an ending that would “stick with em”, but good lord almighty, what a miss. What a frustratingly bad miss. 

Maybe one day I’ll go back and give the movie another shot. Maybe I’ll judge it for what it is, instead of what I wanted it to be. Right now though, I’m just disappointed in the ways the viewer shouldn’t be disappointed. It is for that reasoning alone, that I won’t put a rating today. I’ll rate the book separately just as I will go back and rate the movie (eventually) on its own as what it is later on down the line. 

It just sucks having your hype shat on like that. 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#stephen king #1922 #full dark no stars #book #book to movie #movie #review #rant #horror #suspense #murder #killer #guilt #farm #imdb #netflix #2017 #horror movies #horror review #¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #thomas jane #rats #minions #spoilers #spoiler alert #blog #reviews

[skammovistarplus]

Culture and Translation - S01 E02 C04-C07 and SKAM+ Clip 1

Hi hi! Okay, so I’ve both gotten a bunch of followers and the tag is a lot more poppin since the last time I posted one of these. Quick explanation: when I got into og Skam, I felt I had to piece together a lot of the cultural context behind it, such as, yes, Russetiden, but also stuff like the cost of a bunad or sex without protection. I’ve also read from multiple Norwegian people that the fansubs didn’t do justice to the slang Skam characters use. So these posts provide cultural context. They also provide explanations for the translation I went with in the subs and the best approximation to the slang the Skam España characters use on the show in the cases where I felt the translation didn’t fully do justice to the actual dialogue.

Note: these posts are based on my own subs/translations, so they might not make as much sense if you hadn’t watched those.

Note 2: You can check the culture and translation tag for the rest of the posts.

CLIP 4: In which I learn that a dj system is not a mixer.

This clip was shot in the Pinar de Chamartín subway station. It’s the only station that connects another line with lines 1 and 4, and the show thanks Metro Ligero in the credits. Pinar de Chamartín is a Metro Ligero subway station. (There are several kinds, depending on which company manages the station.) They probably used this station because it’s big and doesn’t get a lot of commuters. Otherwise, it’s completely out of the way of anything these characters would go to.

Hola acosadora! (“Hi creeper!”): would be closer in meaning to, “hi, harasser!” (which doesn’t flow well in English) or “hi, stalker!” (but Eva uses the word in English right after). So creeper it is.

Dale duro (Subs: Hit it hard): I don’t really have any comment about this, other than it seems to be Lucas’ signature phrase. He’s always saying it.

La gente se cree que hacen una movida los DJs que flipas (“People think DJs are some kind of crazy wizards”) Holy shit, I had so much trouble with this sentence. I wish I knew whether this line was on the original script or if Jorge’s actor reworded it. As per the FormulaTV article, the actors get to reword lines if they think it’d sound more natural some other way. Alas, I couldn’t think of how to translate “movida” in this context (it comes up again later), so I settled for the line in the subs. Let’s just say that the implication is that DJs are almost unknowable in their mad DJ skillz, what with the “movida” and the verb “flipar” that we’ve seen so often at this point. I find my translation much inferior to Jorge’s line, which provides such a vivid visual and is hilarious.

Hablando de punchi punchi (“Speaking of sick beats”): Jorge obviously doesn’t say sick beats, but he’s trying for an onomatopoeia for the beat in dance songs. There are a lot of variants in Spanish for this specific purpose of talking about the beat in a song. Another popular one is, “chunda chunda.”  I’m actually really proud of how I translated this line, lol. Too bad I can’t put it on a resume.

“¿Te renta?” is another idiom that often comes up on Skam España. I’ve been told it’s Madrileño slang, but I’ve personally never used it or heard it before the show. (Which doesn’t mean it’s not in use, lol, just that it hasn’t made its way to me yet.) A literal translation would be, “Is it worth it?” Jorge asks Lucas whether it’d be worth it to Lucas to do something this weekend, and Lucas responds going out for beers would be worth it to him. In this case, I didn’t go for the literal translation as this scene is already too long and involved to be throwing more idioms into the mix. Other times, I’ve translated it as is, because I do feel it sums Madrileños up well. Like, we can’t be bothered to do anything or go anywhere if we don’t feel it’s worth it.

Keli (“House”): This has been Madrileño slang for decades at this point. It just means house.

Sí, movidas, ya sabes (“Yeah, shit, you know”): “Movidas” comes up again, this time in the context of Lucas’ home life. Basically, there’s trouble, but the use of “movidas” implies movement, i.e. it’s an active, ongoing situation.

Tengo un programita (“I have some ‘wares”): The literal translation is, “I have a little software,” but I remembered downloading completely legal software from sketchy websites, which would call them ‘warez.’ I thought this phrasing would be more vivid for English speakers. Also, there’s really nothing about Jorge’s persona that suggests this software would’ve been obtained legally, so yeah.

It’s unclear what part of what Eva is saying Jorge reacts to when he says, “Fuck…” Personally, I think he’s impressed that Eva has scammed a rich dude out of an invite to that huge-ass house. But it could also be that he’s proud she’s making plans with the girl squad! Either way, he’s impressed!

Pico, pala, pico, pala (“Joke, flirt, joke, flirt”): OKAY. So, the literal translation of this is, “Pick, shovel, pick, shovel.” This is fairly common Spanish slang for the process of flirting with a girl until she is won over, or she is less reluctant to flirt back. Visually, it makes you think of a miner having to put in long hours of exhausting physical work in order to get results. It makes it sound like more scummy than it is, kind of? I translated it as “joke, flirt, joke, flirt,” because that’s what it usually amounts to. As we’ve seen from Jorge, he does voices, gives odd nicknames and generally aims to be cute in a cheesy way. That is the kind of techniques that are meant to win a girl over, or at least get her to joke along with you.

One more objectionable maneuver, which would still fall under the umbrella of pick and shovel, would be Cristian’s “my DMs aren’t working” move to get Eva to give him her cellphone number.

Final lines from the clip that didn’t make it to the episode:

Eva: But, okay, no. Save up or ask your parents to get it for your b-day, no?

Jorge: Nah, maybe I’ll just get one secondhand.

Lucas: And you lend it to me.

Jorge: Okay.

Lucas: But you can’t… [cuts off]

I love the way all the dj system talk ended up having no impact whatsoever on the plot. It’s not like I had to look specific terms or anything.

CLIP 5: The girl squad chooses an impractical, yet picturesque, meeting point

Eva is waiting right outside Tribunal subway station. I’ve met up with friends at this station probably since I was allowed to hang out on my own, lol.

You can barely make out a building behind the girls. It’s this one: Museum of History of Madrid. Entrance is free, and it has tons of cool stuff to check out.

The girls have a quick chat on how they’ve dressed up for Cristian’s party. Cris says it was about time they had a chance to dress up. Nora says she put on one of her daily outfits, but the girls don’t buy it and tease her over it. Honestly, she doesn’t look overdressed at all? She wore an actual dress for New Year’s Eve.

Maripili! (“Maripili!”): Maripili is a name, which Nora randomly uses to call Viri over. It doesn’t seem to be a meme, so I think Nora is just teasing Viri with a name that sounds dated and cutesy. It’s very gentle teasing though.

Al chino (“To the convenience store”): Eva instructs the girls to go to “el chino,”  which is slang for a type of convenience store owned by immigrants. These are usually Chinese immigrants, hence the name, but stores owned by Maghrebi and Latinx immigrants are also fairly common. The name “chino” has stuck regardless. These convenience stores sell a small range of foodstuffs, such as canned food, microwavable food, some fruit and vegetables, ice cream, bread, and, as the scene implies, booze. They also remain open longer than most grocery store chains, often until 23:30 on a weekday and way past midnight on Fridays and Saturdays. They’re not allowed to sell alcohol to minors, but I guess they don’t mind breaking the law? I don’t know, guys, we got older students to buy us booze lol.

Que me acaba de dar un cringe (“I just cringed a lot”): “Cringe” is an English loanword, which is obviously the word cringe.

Tú la que más, tú la que más (“You’re partying the hardest, you are”): The literal translation is: “You’re the most, you’re the most.” It’s implied that whichever girl is “you” (it’s the singular form, so Cris doesn’t mean all of the girls) is doing something the most, but the sentence doesn’t have a verb. Basically, it’s a way of hyping themselves up for the party. I assumed Cris meant “partying” from context, but it’s not explicit.

In the episode, clip 5 became two different clips to account for the train ride. That’s why there’s a timestamp in the middle of the clip when you watch the episode version.

Cristián lives in Pozuelo de Alarcón, an affluent Madrid suburb with its own city hall. At the time, twitter commentary from Spanish viewers was critical of the show choosing to make the girls meet in Tribunal, because public transit from Tribunal to Pozuelo takes too many connections and it’s not like Madrid isn’t rife with convenience stores. I included both the route the girls take, and an alternate for ur edification.

I just realized that when Viri goes over to greet Lara, you can clearly hear Lara saying, “what’s up, dude?” in response.

And also, when Eva begs Nora not to leave her alone, Nora teases Eva by saying the sentence back to her. That’s why Eva laughs and says Nora is being dumb.

A saco (“going all out”): “A saco” is that kind of slang that’s hard to translate, but Eva means that Viri is assertively taking the lead in pursuing (and making it clear she wants to make out with) ALEJANDRO, rather than waiting for him to notice her.

CLIP 6: Viri lost a battle, but she didn’t lose the war!  

Nora’s ringtone is so… She truly leaves me speechless sometimes.

No soy celoso (“I’m not possessive”): I translated “celoso” as possessive, because if I translated it as “jealous” it would mean that Cristian, right this moment, doesn’t feel jealous of Jorge. In fact, what Cristian is saying that this is a general personality trait of his, like being blond. He is totally chill with any and all girls he is interested in having boyfriends. That’s not at all an obstacle!

It’s also a very corny thing Spanish guys say all the time when a girl says she’s taken, hence Eva’s uncomfortable smile in response.

As Inés and Alicia greet ALEJANDRO, he seems pretty annoyed by Viri floating around him, clearly laying a claim on him. The three of them intentionally crowd Viri out.

CLIP 7: Hard work pays off

En doce siglos (“in twelve centuries”): This is Amira’s catchphrase for measuring time. She also uses it during the truth or dare game.

One of the season 1 mysteries: what did Alicia say to Inés to make her leave so quickly? In hindsight, it doesn’t seem to have anything to do with Jorge, but that was one of the popular theories at the time.

Another detail: Cristian is behind Inés, seemingly on her side of this girl fight. ALEJANDRO’s crew seems to be pretty friendly with Inés and Alicia. They celebrated Inés’ birthday together, and often post ig stories together.

Social media:

I already mentioned this in a post, but Cris’ instagram makes it very obvious that Cris is a stoner. Her rainbow tops are peak Spanish stoner girl fashion, the soap video she regrammed is the sort of thing a stoner would be fascinated by, she follows ifyouhigh and highpeopledoingstuff, and she’s holding a blunt for her first ever ig pic. So yeah. I also just realized the implications, seeing she’s the s2 main. I don’t think she’ll lose a bunch of weed, but she might smoke it with 🐸?

“Perezón,” i.e. the title of clip 4, would literally translate to sloth or laziness, but its actual meaning is “what a drag,” as in “that party/those people/going to that rally is such a drag.”

Viri’s house is pretty basic-looking. What we can see of it looks like a working class household, but it isn’t the borderline hoarder situation in Vilde’s clip.

Eva watches an 11-episode show, which may or may not be Skam s1. The fun thing is she promises she won’t watch episode 12. The NYE special is listed as episode12 on the Movistar site.

Jorge got ahold of a charger after midnight!  

SKAM+ #1:

This clip takes place between episode 2 clips 6 and 7. Specifically, 20 minutes before the last clip.

Aitana is a Spanish singer born in 1999. She became famous thanks to talent show Operación Triunfo, where she came in second. At the time season 1 aired, she had only dropped two songs, Lo Malo with Ana Guerra, and Teléfono. Both of these songs played a prominent role on the show.

Cristian’s dad works at a record label! Explains Cristian’s huge ass house and mixing room!

ALEJANDRO asks Aitana where she’d like to hang out with him at Retiro Park. Retiro Park is one of the largest parks in Madrid. The park belonged to the Spanish Monarchy until the late 19th century, when it became a public park. It’s one of the most picturesque sights in the city and it’s overrun by people. So I don’t think it’s the place you want to take a celeb on a low-key date, but otherwise, good choice! Almost makes it seem like ALEJANDRO isn’t after sex!

Hasta yo preferiría a Aitana (“Even I’d rather Aitana”): That is… so lesbian of Viri.

Speaking of lesbians, Cris is also absolutely overcome by Aitana’s beauty.

In case you weren’t aware, Spaniards greet each other with two cheek kisses when we meet someone. Touching people’s hair without their permission, though, is still a no-no.  

#culture and translation #skam españa #skam spain #skamesp #skames #skam esp

[carpemermaidtales]

Last Pairing Tag Game

@potteresque-ire tagged me for this one!

RULES: You must answer the questions below about the last ship that you read/wrote about, regardless of whether or not you like this ship, then tag anyone you want.

Last thing I wrote was Victuuri for a wip I’m working on, so here we go!

1. What domestic thing are they most guilty of?

They’re hardcore morning cuddlers, often completed by Makka worming his way between them from the bottom of the bed so that they’re one big happy dog pile. Victor likes to kiss Yuuri awake with the softest of kisses that he leaves like a loving treasure map on Yuuri’s skin until his nose scrunches up and his eyes blink open blearily (because Yuuri is Not A Morning Person, but it’s ok because Yuuri gets his revenge every night when they go to sleep because Victor is Not A Night Owl), giving Victor a baleful look that only lasts a moment before Yuuri’s annoyance at being awake at whatever fuck-you hour Victor has woken him up at is soothed by the fact that Victor is there in his arms and he’s in love with him.

2. Who is enabler in the relationship? (eg: “I shouldn’t eat the cake.” “Eat the damn cake. You know you wanna.” “Damn, you’re right.”)

Victor is absolutely the enabler. For as much as he can go into Coach Mode, Yuuri knows he’s still not a perfect coach, and will always try to get Yuuri to have a drink or eat something he restricts himself from before competitions because Victor is more about experiencing life and having a good time, and he wants to do those things with Yuuri. 

3. What is their song?

This one’s easy since the show provides it, Stammi Vicino is their first song, the one that brings them (back) together. More importantly, I think that they both like to hum the melody when they pull each other into a slow dance, swaying around the room with their cheeks pressed together. Whenever one of them is away, they’ll substitute Makka in as their dance partner.

4. In a battle, would they fight back-to-back, or sporadically, watching out for each other?

Back to back, if only because neither of them would be capable of leaving each other’s side in a situation like that.

5. In death fics, which person is the one that usually dies/you choose to kill off?

NOPE. BYE. MCD AND VICTUURI DON’T EXIST IN THE SAME SENTENCE. BYYEEEEEE.

6. What would a reverse verse look like?

Reverse ‘verse isn’t my favorite, but I imagine this a couple of different and maybe a bit more unconventional ways since it strays from the nature of the reverse trope - the first is that they retain their ages and Victor is a skater who is losing all of his motivation and drive but is inspired by Yuuri, a skater who has made a splash since his first time on the ice and never fails to dazzle and surprise the audience (and who is secretly Victor’s inspiration), but Yuuri is still shy and reserved and always seems out of Victor’s reach so they’ve never talked. After a magical night together at the banquet, Victor is sort of crushed when he doesn’t hear from Yuuri again, thinking that they’d made a connection, when in fact Yuuri just doesn’t remember that he agreed to be Victor’s coach. When a youtube video goes viral of Yuuri skating Victor’s Stammi Vicino skate from the GPF (and skating it with more passion and emotionality than Victor was ever able to infuse it with), Victor is on the next plane to Japan and shows up much as he did in canon assuming Yuuri means to coach him, that he does remember his agreement to help Victor reach his potential before he ages out of competitive skating. Yuuri in this verse would still be shy, reserved, and secretly think he’s not good enough no matter how hard he works to please the audience, but he regains his spark of inspiration and love for the sport when Victor blows into his life. The second way would sort of be the typical one, Victor as the younger skater and Yuuri as the older one, but Victor is the one making the GPF for the first time and making a big splash while Yuuri fails at the GPF and requests Victor to come be his student at the banquet because he needs something to bring back the reason he fell in love with figure skating and he sees it in Victor’s skating.

7. If you had to put them into any other fandom of yours, which would it be and how would it work out for them?

My gut instinct is to say stick them in HP but even with that I’m not sure it feels like the right fit for them. I feel like their story could translate pretty well to the BNHA verse, though, where Yuuri and Izuku share feelings of inadequacy that they struggle to overcome and Victor and All Might share the pressure of the public perception of them vs how they really are out of the spotlight while training someone else to help them be their best.

8. Are they the “touchy-feely” couple or the “witty, sometimes insulting banter” couple?

Definitely touchy-feely, Victor is basically all over Yuuri all the time, but Yuuri also has his moments where he likes to remind the world that Victor’s love is Yuuri’s to hold onto.

9. Would they want marriage? Kids? Or are they more comfortable without those things?

I think Yuuri would be happy if they were just together, as long as he’s with Victor he’ll be content, but Victor is a giant romantic who wants it all -- marriage, (dog) children, matching mugs, but we know it’s Yuuri who proposes to Victor and surprises him. Victor can’t even wait for the five golds that Yuuri promised him. When Yuuri wins all. the. gold. at FCC, All Japan, and Worlds, Victor flies them back to Hasetsu to get married on the beach with their family and friends looking on. Half of the Men’s figure skating roster is there. Yuri Plisetsky fights Phichit over which of them cheered louder when Victor pulled Yuuri into a big kiss, dipping him backwards and Yakov can be seen accepting a handkerchief from Celestino when he gets gruff and quiet, eyes shiny with emotion while Victor beams out at the small crowd, hand clutching Yuuri’s.

10. What are most of their dates like?

Very sweet affairs, but also usually pretty simple. They go for runs together, walk the dogs on the beach, take a couple of hours to spend in the onsen when it’s empty, watch movies curled up together under the same blanket. What’s more important to them is spending time together.

11. Do they have a secret language? Inside jokes?

The only secret language they have is the silent communication through their eyes and eyebrows, where Victor tries to get what he wants with puppy eyes and Yuuri informs him when they need to make a hasty retreat to somewhere quiet or he’s going to feel Victor up in public, regardless of Victor’s inability to be quiet.

12. What do their morning routines look like? Are they harmonious? Do they fight each other for space? Do they help each other get ready?

Victor defines his space as anything that involves him being attached to Yuuri like an octopus, so it’s not so much that they fight each other for space as Yuuri happily gives in to Victor’s clinging, even years into their marriage, because he likes the way Victor’s stubble feels scraping against his neck when Victor nuzzles there from behind. Victor is usually the first to wake up and will slip out of bed to make Yuuri a pot of tea before slipping back into bed with his offering. He kisses Yuuri awake and they spend some time cuddling until Yuuri stops grumbling about being awake. (This is always sped along by Victor’s touches trailing lower until Yuuri is quite alert) After a shower together, they’ll circle each other and hand off things like belts, shirts, and track jackets depending on where their schedule is taking them for the day. Yuuri stands before Victor and smiles fondly at him when he does up the buttons on Victor’s shirt and Victor will zip Yuuri into his track jacket and pull him in by the collar for a kiss before they’re deemed ready for the day.

13. Assuming that some family members are alive (related or no), how did each family react to the couple?

All of Yuuri’s family and close friends grow to adore Victor and his special brand of loving Yuuri, especially Yuuri’s mother, who shares a special bond with Victor.

14. What is your favorite AU for them?

My extremely indulgent guilty pleasure are Canon Divergent AUs, especially Banquet AUs or post-GPF AUs where they either meet or get together earlier than in canon. For the few actual AUs I’ve read, I like politically-focused A/B/O stories and Medieval Arranged Marriage AUs.

15. Finally, what trope works better for the couple as they are in canon? (If they’ve never met, which one do you think would work best if they know each other?)

Pining, god allllll the pining, also pick and choose: slow burn, soulmates, fake dating/marriage (or accidental), mistaken identity, memory loss, injury/sick fic, miscommunication, language barriers, unreliable narrator (though this one is barely a trope since it’s straight up canon), Victor’s Impulsive Decisions I’m unsure of who has or hasn’t been tagged recently for this one since I’ve been away, but I’ll just leave it at whoever wants to do it, consider yourself tagged!

#tag game #victuuri #yoi #yuri on ice #not hp

[coll2mitts]

#86 Carmen Jones (1954)

A sex crazed factory worker corrupts a dumbass American soldier, and when she tries to exert bodily autonomy after their relationship ends, he strangles her to death.  Cute.

Carmen Jones is a modern day retelling of the classic Bizet opera, Carmen.  Set in America during WW2, Carmen works at a parachute factory, and although she has a reputation for getting around, she has her eyes set on Corporal Joe.  The only complication is he currently has a sweetheart, Cindy Lou, and she’s sitting right next to him while Carmen puts the moves on.

The majority of the songs in this movie are from Bizet’s original opera, but with new English lyrics.  I’m all for translating something in a different medium, but Rogers and Hammerstein made the bizarre decision to require actual opera singers to perform these songs, instead of updating the style of delivery to something you don’t need years upon years of training to execute.

I probably don’t have to tell you that the majority of the actors in this movie were dubbed when they sang, including their main actress, Dorothy Dandridge, whose parts were sang by Marilynn Horne.

Again, I ask, why cast leads of your movie that you’re going to have to dub over?  This also leads to some racists fucking bullshit, where the black actors are dubbed over with white singers trying to “sound black”.  And by “sounding black”, apparently that means speaking in improper grammar and replacing any word that starts with T with a D.  It’s fucking awkward.

The songs are written in this dialect, however, so it wasn’t even a creative choice from Marilynn Horne.  It was written into the show, which again, fucking oof.  Dorothy Dandridge doesn’t even speak that way when reciting the dialogue, but the minute she has to sing, we’re treated with a barrage of dats, deres, and dens.

Carmen Jones did provide a platform for a lot of black actors and actresses to be featured in a major motion picture, but there were so many things the filmmakers could have done to prevent white voices from dubbing black actors.  Hire someone qualified to sing the role, or change the skill needed to play the role.  With the amount of talent that exists in the world, if you can’t find someone who can both sing and act, you’re not doing your job as a casting director.

(Yes, I know, I know, the lord knows I’m going to have so much to answer to when we get to My Fair Lady, I’m preparing myself.)

Opera singers are nothing *but* charisma, because there’s a good possibility they’re singing in a language that their audience does not understand.  They need to exude the emotion from their voice, and from their movements.  If you want the cast of your movie to sing opera for whatever misguided reason, cast fucking opera singers.

I have mentioned before I have a very, very, very, bad and basic understanding of French, so listening to this opera, I can only pick out bits and pieces of what the hell anybody is singing.  Thankfully, the way Elina Garanca delivers the song, I can surmise everything I need to know. 

Olga James is proof that you can cast someone charismatic and charming who can also fucking sing opera.  After Joe blows off Carmen, he asks Cindy Lou to marry him while telling her she reminds him of his mother.  I can’t think of anything less romantic, but Cindy Lou falls for it hard.  They sing a beautiful duet and she agrees to marry him that day so they can “honeymoon” before he leaves for flight school in the morning. 

Seconds after Joe proposes to Cindy Lou, he’s called to duty to drive Carmen to a neighboring city’s prison because she started a fight with her co-worker.  While Joe is initially pissed off by this, Carmen is through the roof.

Otto Preminger, the director of this film, didn’t believe Dorothy Dandridge could act “sexy” enough to play this role, so she dressed up like Carmen, headed into his office, auditioned again and got the part.  In the original opera, Carmen is sensual, and she comes on strong, but the way Dorothy tries to eat this man alive in the first few scenes of this movie is just bizarre and alarming.

Carmen tries to convince Joe to let her go in exchange with sleeping with her.  When he doesn’t succumb to her advances, she jumps out of the jeep and onto a very slow moving train.  She’s running in heels, and he’s a corporal, so he catches her pretty easily.  After tying her up and shoving her back in the jeep, he decides to shave some time off the journey by taking a backwoods road, uttering a sentence that is literally every Jeep owner’s motto:

In a shocker to end all shockers, he gets the Jeep stuck in a ditch.  Carmen offers to lead him to her hometown, cook him a meal, and when the next train comes, they can head to Masonville together.  They end up back at Carmen’s place and talk about their futures - Joe plans to marry Cindy Lou and go to flight school, and Carmen plans on having a bunch of casual sex that she enjoys.  I know I should be watching Carmen’s excellent skills of seduction, but I’m just focused on the fact that Harry Belafonte had to probably eat a dozen peaches to film this scene.

So, they sleep together, as if that wasn’t going to happen.  Carmen escapes, and Joe is arrested for letting her get away.  She sends him mail, and he continues to pine for a lady he slept with once and subsequently put him in jail, instead of Cindy Lou, who is amazing and supportive in every way.

While Joe is serving out his sentence, Carmen mopes at her favorite watering hole, waiting around for his return.  We finally meet some of her friends, like Frankie, who sings about how excited the beat of the drum makes her, IN A SONG THAT DOESN’T HAVE A DRUM IN IT, WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE.

Like, I get pizzicato is cool and everything, but this song does not justify the fire choreography going on behind Pearl Bailey.  Seriously, props to these dancers, they are doing everything in their power to try and make this song make fucking sense.

I don’t know why this makes me irrationally angry, but it does.  They could have easily added a drum part to this.  It is the worst translation of the opera to musical format, and a waste of Pearl’s talent.  I can’t.

Later in the night, the big hot-shot boxer Husky Miller stops by to revel in his latest victory.  Everyone except Carmen seems impressed, since she’s still thinking about Joe’s dick, and has probably seen that Animaniacs cartoon enough to be as bored with this as I am.  Husky seems enthralled with her, however, and asks his manager to try and convince her to join them in Chicago.  They rope in Carmen’s friends, and even though they all sing a very convincing song about how exciting it is to board a train, Carmen sticks by her man and blows them off.

Speaking of her man, he is released from jail, and instead of indulging Carmen with the love fest she expected, informs her that he will be leaving for flight school the next day.  Carmen realizes Joe doesn’t appreciate her jail-induced celibacy, and decides he’s no longer worth her time.  She tries to leave with Joe’s commanding officer, since he seems to knows a good woman when he sees one.  Joe throws a fit, and a punch, at a Sargent, which would land him 4 years in jail if he’s caught.

After coming to the realization he’s the dumbest person alive, Joe decides to flee the city with Carmen and head to Chicago.  Carmen and him spend a week holed up and boning because Joe can’t go anywhere at risk of him being arrested.  Carmen, bored and out of money, decides to hit up Husky Miller and see what that wealthy dude is up to.  Frankie’s outfit only confirms Carmen made a terrible choice in a man.

After pawning some tacky jewelry and buying a new dress and some food, Joe gives Carmen shit about paying for things, because he can’t possibly understand how she could earn money without selling herself.  He asks her to stay in the apartment with him forever, because he lovesssss heeeerrrrrrrr, and that means she has to listen to what he says.  She, rightfully, tells him to get all the way off her fucking back and leaves to grab a sugar daddy.

She has a lot of fun with her new benefactors, clearly.  Being in Husky’s pocket has a lot of advantages, and Carmen is enjoying all of them.  That is, until Cindy Lou comes knocking, looking for her ex-man, because for some goddamn unspeakable reason she still wants him back.

Joe shows up to harass Carmen, because he’s a NICE GUY, and Cindy Lou tries to convince him Carmen does not, in fact, have a magic pussy, and he should go home with her instead.  He, like the dumbass who gave up his future as a pilot to be with this flighty woman, decides running from the army and stalking Carmen is the way to go.  Cindy Lou is heartbroken, even though she deserves so. much. fucking. better. than. this. mediocre. man.

I really wish I could insert a video of Olga James singing this song, because she knocks it out of the park.  The range in the emotions on her face, from despair, defiance, anger, love, and pleading... it’s so beautiful.  The fact this woman didn’t become a bigger star is just a crime.

After the drama is dealt with, Husky Miller takes his glamtourage to one of his fights and punches this shit out of his opponent, winning the match.

Joe, of course, follows them there, because he doesn’t have a goddamn brain in his head.  After Husky’s victory, he drags Carmen into a broom closet and begs her to run away with him.  Sure, he’s AWOL, and yeah, if he’s arrested he’d be sent to prison for four years, but he loves her, and that should be enough to incentivize her to live in his poorly built cage.

That is a face of a woman who is fed up with some bullshit.

Carmen tells Joe, again, that she’s with Husky and has no interest in leaving her cushy setup to hock more jewelry and never leave a shitty apartment.  Joe tells Carmen he’ll kill her instead, and she dares him to, either because she wants to die, or she underestimates how much men love to possess people that once smiled nicely at them.

Then he strangles her, concluding this cautionary tale of domestic violence.

Nothing good ever came from a man who thought he owned a woman.  Except this fire violin piece.

Prepare yourselves for a spooky double feature. We have a few... unusual films coming up next.

#unwarranted opinion #100 best musical movies of all time rotten tomatoes

[fiction-queen-blog]

TheAmazingUchihaBruhs

Also read:  what happened previously 

The Wreck!  (Part 1)

“Alright”

I walked inside the living room, until I reached the coffee table.

“I want your total honest opinion. Is this good? Too much? Or too less?”

Izuna looked up from his phone and narrowed his eyes. He put his phone next to him and threw the magazines and books off the table.

“Go stand in some better lighting” he said, indicating to the table

I don’t think half a meter higher would have done much difference for the lighting, but I wasn’t complaining. I needed some fashion advice. That is how desperate I was.

I stood on top of the coffee table.

“Oh no, no, no…” I felt Itachi wrap his arms from behind me and lift me off the coffee table.

“You are not wearing that. You are just going to some dumbass’s party. You are not the star of a strip club”

“Dude, it is just some leg” Shisui defended my outfit.

“It is, October, it is cold. He will get sick-”  

“Liquor keeps him warm”  Shisui cut Itachi off as he flipped the page of his case file. He finally was forced to look up and meet the glaring look my overprotective aniki gave him.

“Come on! Normally we basically force him to socialize and now he is willingly going to a party. No wonder that kid is fucked up in his mind if we are constantly criticizing him” Shisui said, straightening his back.

“You read one psychology magazine. Calm the fuck down”  Itachi said.

While they were arguing. I returned my attention to Izuna.

“Well?”

“Itachi hates it, that means it is good. Just the right bit of sexy”  Izuna said and stood up, finishing his text before putting his phone in his back pocket.

“Shisui, could you drive us?” Izuna asked.

“What happened to that expensive driving licence of yours?” Shisui looked up from his files. He seemed sort of frustrated, probably because he couldn’t get any work done with us ...being so..annoying.

“I am not taking my car to some ghetto neighbourhood. Nah”

I had to admit...That was the most mature thing Izuna has said in a while.

“We can take a cab back. So, you don’t have to wait up” I suggested. Grabbing my gift from the table.

“You really got him a gift? He literally said..No gifts” Izuna mocked me as we walked out of the house to the car.

“It is me. Besides, I figured it was a bit inappropriate to give in front of his family”  

Izuna suddenly turned around and I bumped against him.

“What naughty thing do you have in there”

I never saw him look this proud.

“Something he will be wearing….all night” A little smirked appeared on my face when I sat down in the back seat. To be fair..I made a T-shirt...It was orange with big black letters there was written “Sasuke’s Bitch”. I figured it would be funny and besides...It was not wrong.

I had to admit, Naruto and I were in sort of a vague zone. It was like...We were beyond “just friends” and leaning towards the relationship part and this was my way of subtle  pushing it.

“I think it is quite something. You going to the place you hate just because he asked”

Izuna sighed as he sat down next to me. He ran his hand down his hair, fixing his bangs. It was then that he noticed my silence.

“He didn’t ask you...Did he?” Izuna narrowed his eyes.

“I expected to surprise him”  I said, looking outside of the window, seeing Shisui approach his car.  “Besides...He said he didn’t ask me because he didn’t want to force me. But I am here willingly”

“Has it ever occurred to you that the reason why he kept this a secret was because...He..Maybe..Didn’t want you there?”

Shit…Izuna got me there..

“Naruto? He is not mean” Shisui said, adjusting the rear-view mirror.

“Oh stop acting like he is a saint” Itachi sat down in the passenger seat.

“What the..” Izuna looked at Itachi, wondering why he was even coming.

“Stop it you. We are going grocery shopping after dropping you two off. Please..The entire world does not evolve around you”

Itachi made a sassy hand gesture and I saw Izuna look at me.

“But your world does around him?”

I think he meant me with the “him” part.

He leaned in and whispered something in Itachi’s ear.

“No, you wouldn’t dare!” Itachi hissed.

“Watch. Me” Izuna said in a devious voice before sitting back down. I wondered what that was all about, but judging from the look niisan was giving me...It was probably about me.

“Alright...Back to me. Why wouldn’t he want me there? We are pretty close”

“Oh so you told him about shooting that guy and mo-”

Itachi suddenly hissed in pain when Shisui hit his shoulder.

“Does Suké know you fall asleep in the kitchen while actually nibbling on food?” Shisui tried to defend me again.

“Ha, jokes on you, he walked in on that seven times. Don’t test my relationship” Itachi said, folding his arms.

“Yeah...But you still don’t have the spare key of his apartment” I said and I heard Izuna and Shisui laugh at my comment.

“Oh wait...But I..Your little brother..Actually do have his spare keys” I said, holding up my keychain. Itachi’s eyes widened as he tried to grab it, put my reflection were just a little faster.

“Back to me” I said, turning my head to Izuna.  

“If worse comes to worse. I just give him the present and go home”

“But when best comes to best..You two will spend the rest of the night in a locked bedroom” Izuna pretended to make a shocked face.

I tucked my hair behind my ear, looking out of the window.

“Yeah, I will make sure to close the window so nobody in the garden will hear us ” I commented before looking back at Izuna. Suddenly the car stopped and God thanks I had my seatbelt on, unlike Izuna who bumped against Itachi’s chair.

I frowned and looked at both Shisui and Itachi who both turned their heads towards me with a rather blank expression.

“Princess, why don’t we go to Chuck E. Cheese instead?” Shisui suddenly said in a high pitch voice before trying to maintain himself.

“We can still make him a monk” I heard Itachi whisper.

“Have you ever imagined him bold? He cannot be a monk” Shisui hissed.

“Guys, come on! Can we stop making this a big deal!” I said frustrated, “Like really!” I sat back, folding my arms. “Nothing is going to happen anyway”

‘Yeah because the guy who has quikies  in a bathroom stall is so classy”

Sarcasm was mostly hard to detect in Izuna’s voice...But this was obvious.

“Can you just shut up” I glared at him. “When he is with me.. He is different”

“What do you mean? It is not like you two are…” I looked through the mirror at Itachi who stopped talking. His eyes widened.

“Anyone but him” he shook his head, looking sort of disappointed. That look kinda hurt.

“He is a good kid” Shisui said out loud...Not sure if it was to clarify to himself or niisan.

“Listen, we will talk about this...Can we go now” I  said.

“That means he is never going to talk about this” Izuna fake-translated.  I threw my head back.

My family is insane.

Ooxoxox

Arriving at the party. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go in that house. It was a pretty big, but it was made from wood and it seemed...Well..Kinda dead. There was graffiti on the side and the garden looked like a desert.

“Where would he get this location?” I asked, looking next to me only to see that my brother literally disappeared.

“Izuna?!” I looked around me only to see a hint of his shoulder already enter the house. Wow, he was fast ditching me. It was almost like...He wanted to get away from me as fast as possible.

I shook my head. I didn’t want to ruin this party for Naruto. I just had to go in there with a positive mind...But damn was this music loud, and I am not even in the house yet.

Oh...Here I was going again with all the complaining.

“Come on…” I sighed, entering the house. It was so crowded. I wonder if everybody of the city was invited? It was pretty dark, except for the coloured festival lights.

Who thought they would provide enough light?

I was looking around me. I barely knew any of these people, not even anyone from high school. It actually made me wonder if he excluded them on purpose...Just like he did me?

Oh no, nevermind. I saw Kiba playing beer pong with Lee. But I wasn’t going to go over there. Mainly because I was looking for Naruto. Who...I couldn’t really find.

“Naruto?” I opened a door, not knowing it was a bedroom

“sorry!”  I immediately said when I caught a glimpse of two girls in the bed. I shut the door and wanted to walk away from there as fast as possible.

But being in a hurry in a house crowded with people was not such a good idea. I bumped against somebody. I could feel some liquor fall over my chest. I took a step back, looking at the beer stain. Well. .I don’t know shit about laundry, but I knew that was going to set.

“Oh fuck-”

I looked up at the guy holding the now half empty cup.

“-you’re hot” he finished his sentence. Now I wished the music was louder, so I didn’t have to hear some drunk-head hit on me.

“Way out of your league” I said pushing him away from me.

How annoying this guy might have been, in a way he did help me with my troubles. Because I headed the other way I actually found Naruto. Only...I wasn’t sure anymore if it was a good thing or a bad one.  He was sitting on the couch, holding a drink while some bitch is sitting right next to him. His legs stretched over Naruto’s, while on the other side was some chick with her arm around his.

I was thinking of what Izuna said about Naruto not wanting me to this party for personal reasons...What if those personal reasons were that he could probably bang anyone at his party?  

Maybe I was just being paranoid! He is just being friendly! That is typical Naruto! Social..Friendly...Nice..

It took me every molecule of bravery in my body to go towards him.

“Hey” I tried not to shout, but it was kinda hard to get his attention..Even Though I was standing right in front of him.

“Naruto!” I had to shout...It was either that or hitting him and I figured I had done enough damage already.  He suddenly turned his head towards me and his eyes widened...Not in a good way. He pulled his arm back and pushed the guys legs off his lap before standing up.

“Sa-Sasukeh!” He shouted. “You came!”

He was not happy at all to see me, and he was not a good enough actor to fake it.

“Yeah...I didn’t have much to do. I figured it would be fun”

“O-ofcourse!” He suddenly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in a hug.

“I got you something!” I said,pulling out of the hug to hand him the package.

“Oh, you didn’t have to” He put the package on the coffee table before grabbing my arm “Let’s go outside!” He shouted, pulling me with him.

This all just gave me a bad feeling.

I turned my head, seeing a few people staring. At first, I thought it were just people looking what was going on, but...Well...Those were glared aimed towards me. I guess I am a generally hated person or everybody in this room has a crush on Naruto.

“Nice party” I said once we were outside.

Yeah that was me trying to be nice.

“What are you doing here?”  He asked me dead serious.

“Being a good friend and showing up at your party…” I wasn’t so sure of my answer anymore.

“You hate parties” He seemed  stressed.

“Sometimes things we love outweighs the things we hate” I looked at the ground. It is something I am used to doing when I feel scolding coming up...Or confrontation..Anything unpleasant on my side.

“No, no Sasuke, this is not the time to be romantic” he covered his eyes with his hand.

“It is a pretty good line, right?  I am going to use that one in my fanfiction” I tried to lighten the mood.

“Sasuke, listen..” He put his hands on my cheeks, forcing me to look at him.

‘Is there something I did wrong?” I asked.

“No...No…” He pulled me in a hug.  “I am just very glad you are here” He said.

“Alright…” I was sure he was not glad. There was something up...But he wouldn’t tell me.

“You know,” I pulled out of the hug.  “I am going to grab a drink. Warm up” I said.

“Great idea, let’s go to a bar!” Naruto said.

“Uhn..You have an entire liquor table. Why would you want to go to a bar”

“Well...It’s ...Uhm...More personal. Y’know. Just us..No loud music...Or...A shit load of people-”

“Wow, Naruto. You don’t have to babysit me. You can just do whatever you want. I am just getting a few drinks, go to Tobirama and Izuna and take a cab home later” I cupped his cheek.

“It is your birthday..Have fun”  

He opened his mouth to say something, but he didn’t get the chance to. Somebody screamed his name and I saw two guys heading towards him, wrapping an arm around him.

“Haven’t seen you in four years!” He said. He ruffled up Naruto’s hair.

And somehow Naruto did not seem comfortable..In fact. He seemed tense.

“We are partly to blame though. You know..Prison and shit” the other guy said, “but guess early releases are there for a reason”

Oh...Seems he can even make friends with ex-cons.

“Oh fuck, who is this?” The guy with the large hoody, pushed Naruto away and stood in front of me.  “Hey sweetie”

“Just no” I said, shaking my head.

“Oh damn, I was just being friendly. I wanted to have some conversation here. Meet people!” He said, moving his hands while he spoke.

“You remind me of somebody…” The other guy narrowed his eyes.

“Naaahh” Naruto,pushed them aside and wrapped his arm around my waist. “Your memory is just fucked. Maybe you should keep off the pills, dattebayo”

They chuckled.

“Speaking off pills. Happy birthday man!” The guy extended his hand and grabbed Naruto’s in some firm handshake.

I could see a small back getting exchanged. I looked at Naruto from the corner of my eye. I didn’t know he hung out with people like that.

“Thanks..But no thanks” Naruto returned this sneaky handshake.

“Come,Sasuke” He said, pulling me with him. “Enjoy the party you two”

We went to the backyard. I could see some people making out on some creaking bench swing.

“You want something to drink-”

“What was that all about?”  I interrupted him.

I was starting to find out the reason why he didn’t want me here. He looked away, rubbing the back of his neck in a nervous way.

“I am not going to lie to you. I used to hang out with them” he said, giving me this rather sad look.

“Yeah, I figured. Were those pills part of your friendship too?”

“No...Uhm...I once had them..Just to try out” He said.  

I frowned. He was a bad liar.

“Right” I sighed.

“This is why you didn’t want me here, isn’t it?” I looked up to meet his eyes.

“Not the entire reason…” He bit down his lip.

“Oh dumbass” I shook my head. ‘I am going to find my brother and tell him I am going, but you enjoy your party. I’ll see you Sunday”

I wanted to go back inside, but Naruto grabbed my wrist.

“Don’t be mad...Please?” He said, giving me the puppy eyes.

“No, I am not mad about shit you did in the past...We all have our...stories” I couldn’t word that more subtle. I leaned a little in so I could whisper in his ear.

“Just between us, you two friends back there...I actually think I arrested them four years ago.”

He chuckled before nodding.

“I kinda..Know it was you..” He said.

“How come? Oh right because you were a troubled youth”

“And you were some kid that was trying to make daddy proud of you by proofing how tough you were”

“We both were fucked-up” I said and placed a small kiss on his cheek.

“I am going to go before people figure it out” I said,  “enjoy your party”

#Part 1 #Narusasu #naruto #sasuke #this is probably going to be a three parter #the amazing uchiha bruhs #first part of this arc is more introduction to the situation #some goofing #hopefully u like it

[nuzblog]

November 21st, 2017

This is the second of two new entries, which were at one point slated to be one entry. I’m glad they weren’t, since both of them got long as hell. I blame the fact that I’m also chipping my way through a 7 hour video essay on Pokemon for my long windedness. If you don’t remember the one where I caught a Drowzee, I recommend scrolling down. Now’s also a good time to remind you that it’s possible to read the entire thing chronologically, by clicking... well, any word in this sentence, how about. Also the Pokedex in the sidebar.

Now seems as good a time as any to mention what I forgot to in my admitted rush to finish the prior entry - while grinding up Baku, I was also hanging out with friends, and finally actually did the damn thing: Moschops was traded for a Kakuna, and then traded back, evolving it to its final form. This is the second time in my lifetime of playing Pokemon that I've actually used the evolved form of a trade evolution, and the first is my Alolan Golem in Sun which I am still not actually finished with yet, largely due to this playthrough superceding it as a priority in my mind, and also because, maybe it's just me but that game's pacing really falls off by the time you're on Poni Island. Not that it was really well paced to begin with, but-- oh, bugger, I'll save this all for when I nuzlocke that game. Uh. If I get there. Maybe I'll be so put off by how much I hate 2nd Gen that I'll simply not get to 3rd. (That's probably not true, I love 3rd Gen so much, I'll slog through garbage to get to it.)

Anyway yeah, I have rad friends and I love them very much and so I have a Machamp now. Weird! I've used Machoke before, but never actually Machamp.

Blaine's gym is the next one, and I actualy have notes on it beyond "the gym trainers were easy." As the series progresses, gyms will become more elaborate - here, they're just. Walk in a straight line, walk in a straight line and then turn left, rifle through some garbage, cut some trees, follow an "invisible" path, just choose a teleport tile and pray, and the two I'm about to knock out back to back.

Blaine's gym is really weird. I definitely understand what they were going for, but it turned out super strange. So Blaine is like, this researcher professor guy, like not quite Pokemon Professor but he knows his shit and wears a lab coat sometimes and the works. So his gym is a quiz. There's these quiz machines that ask you a question that varies from bafflingly simple, such as "does Caterpie evolve into Butterfree", to just plain baffling, either due to strange wording or ambiguous wording. Like... on the one hand they are clearly meant to test your knowledge that you've gained as you adventured, since you're essentially at endgame territory here. But Blaine isn't the kind of professor that seems to legitimately want to test your knowledge, oh no, his questions seem purposely worded to confuse. For example, the first one, "Caterpie evolves into Butterfree?" On the one hand, yes, one of Caterpie's evolutions is Butterfree... but at the same time, Caterpie DOESN'T evolve into Butterfree. Caterpie evolves into Metapod, and Metapod evolves into Butterfree. The correct answer is yes, but it's not technically accurate. Another question asks if Poliwag evolves thrice, which is false, it evolves twice, but it's easy to count each form - Poliwag, Poliwhirl and Poliwrath - and assume that that matches up with the "3" in the question. Also, in what I can only assume to be translation error, one question manages to not only refer to the Electric type as "Thunder", but also refers to types as "element-types". Super weird.

Anyway, I did all the trivia and also fought all the trainers. Used to Firered, I find the lack of unique overworld sprites for the gym leaders interesting. I didn't even realize it was Blaine I was next to until I saw that there was no quiz machine behind him. Of course, with my Nessie and Cingu, the gym is no issue at all. I brink Moschops in too for his rock move, and Wakinyan just in case things got hairy, which they did not - I beat him handily.

Speaking of being beaten handily, the final gym has this mystery behind it, but I appreciate that before you are face to face with his widow's peaked mug, you have every opportunity to guess that the final gym leader is Giovanni of Team Rocket. The "Champ in the making!" dude tells you he uses ground types - and Giovanni, excepting his Kangaskhan, uses Nidoqueens and Rhyhorns and such consistently. That, and the puzzle here is the same pushing tiles that were used in the Rocket Hideout - I guess he likes those things? I know we encounter them in the hideout before the gym, but I like to think that it's the other way around. We don't get as much backstory on Giovanni as I'd like, but I like to imagine that he was a perfectly legitimate gym leader before starting Team Rocket, and he used the puzzle tiles the Pokemon League provided for him in his top secret casino hideout just cause they were the same kind of puzzle he liked enough to put in his gym.

As for fighting him... it's a joke. I was a little nervous going in about his powerful last 'mon and its Fissure, but... it's got 30% accuracy and I outspeed it anyway. Giovanni is defeated, this time for the last time. In this game - and this was removed in the remakes since it is counter to his characterization in his later appearances - if you speak to him after beating him, he says he is giving up on crime for good in order to research Pokemon. I think that's compelling and, again, hints at something a little more earnest in his past and in his motivations. Allow me to extrapolate for a moment here: Team Rocket's goals, in the anime and in the games, are consistent: find and capture rare Pokemon by any means necessary. In this game, they are first found in Mt. Moon, where rare Pokemon fossils can be found that can be resurrected at Cinnabar Island; then, the Silph Scope is recovered from them in Celadon, which is used primarily to be able to observe Ghost Pokemon in the Pokemon Tower, where they can also be found holding one of the region's well known Pokemon caretakers hostage. After that, they are in Silph Co., a powerful organization that has manufactured the Master Ball, which can be used to catch any Pokemon with perfect success. While the grunts may be using common Pokemon like Zubat and Rattata, the big boss has typically got Rhyhorn, Kangaskhan, and Nidoqueen, all Pokemon that are either only or most commonly accessible by way of the Safari Zone, where rarer Pokemon are sequestered for preservation.

What if Giovanni's real purpose is to study these rare Pokemon? Not money, nor pride, but simply the pursuit of knowledge? Taken to extremes, sure, but perhaps from his perspective, the real crime is holding these creatures away from researchers (which, as seen in Silph Co., Team Rocket also employs) that can learn more about them. Bam. There's my wild theory of the week.

Anyway yeah I went in without Wakinyan and just wrecked up his face. Hard not to, with Lapras and Penthes and Moschops and Baku. Cingu didn't do much, nor did he need to.

Speaking of Cingu, I then taught him Fissure. Now, normally, I would pretty much ignore OHKO moves. I mean, it'd be fun to give it to Moschops, but since all transferred Pokemon have their hidden abilities, it still would not be a Fissure/No Guard Machamp, so there's no point to that - instead, I gave it to the faster Cingu, after a bit of research. You see, I did not realize until around 24 hours prior to the time of this writing when I has beaten Giovanni's gym that the X Accuracy was changed in Gen 3. In Gen 3 onwards, which are the only generations I've played extensively, the X Accuracy is a very situationally useful item in a set of items that are essentially like Hardens, Howls, and Focus Energys that you can pay for. Those same moves aren't really that useful either, since far better moves like Swords Dance and Agility are just plain better versions of them. X Accuracy is probably the best of the set since it actually increases your own accuracy by a stage, allowing the effects of moves like the obnoxious Sand Attack or Minimize to be negated or at least mitigated... but since the overwhelming majority of attacks hit 100% of the time, and if you've been sand attacked then using the X Accuracy only gives them another chance to fling sand in your face, the usefulness is not exactly on the level of say, Potions and Pokeballs.

Except, things are a little different in Gen 1. You see, when an X Accuracy is used on a Pokemon in battle in Gen 1, it makes all of its moves hit perfectly every time until it is switched out or fainted. All of them, bypassing accuracy checks a la Swift, which I believe means it isn't even able to fall prey to the dreaded 1/256 glitch, which makes 100% accuracy moves miss one out of every 256 times. Including one hit KO moves like Fissure. (As a side note, this may also be handy with Thunder, which has only 70% accuracy - if it becomes a perfect hit then I'm far more confident of Wakinyan's ability to sweep Lorelei, at the least.)

Which, obviously, is ridiculous. Of course, Fissure only has 5 PP... but I've also not used a single one of the limited Ethers, Elixirs, etc. that the game provides. And with the exception of Dingus, every member of the Elite 4 has 5 Pokemon. (Of course, almost all of them also have a Flying type, and I'm sure SOME of them will outspeed Cingu, which should make Fissure fail regardless.) So like... basically, it's completely busted but fuck me if I'm not gonna take advantage of it. I'm already taking advantage of how busted Slash is. Honestly I'm gonna be sad to push Cingu through the Bank, since it's gonna go from utterly disgustingly broken to like... a normal Pokemon, basically.

Anyway then I slept, woke up, and played more Pokemon.

Now, at this point, I could go to Victory Road. But. Some unfinished business first! The Seafoam Islands are a fairly simple dungeon, with a Strength boulder dropping puzzle that's fairly memorable. Also there's a bird at the end. I murdered this bird, since I couldn't catch it. It actually brought Moschops to fairly low health. Serves me right for trying to use my 4x effective move that just happens to be on my "weak to flying" Pokemon.

NOW I'm ready for Victory Road, except for the fact that I absolutely forgot that there was a rival fight on Route 22 as you're headed for the Pokemon League. I was all healed up anyway, and I don't need to box anyone since he's got 6 Pokemon by now (but apparently no Fire Stones, lol - really, still Growlithe?), but I was still caught off guard, which I'm sure is the point.

Moschops handles Pidgeot and Rhyhorn, which hurts bad enough to switch him for Wakinyan, who, not gonna lie, is basically literally only here to OHKO this Gyarados. Nessie beats Growlithe but Alakazam puts it to 40 health, the lowest any of my Pokemon has been in a long while. Baku has the psychic resistance, so he finishes off Alakazam and then hits Venusaur for super effective damage, but I switch back to Wakinyan to finish him off.

I heal at home and NOW I'm actually going towards Victory Road.

First though, I run around in the grass on Route 23 for a wee bit before realizing that the only Pokemon I can find there are Sandslash/shrew, Sp/Fearow, or Ditto, all of which I still have living. I then think to fish, but I don't have my rod with me. Ah well, can't be arsed.

Victory Road! It's a road made of victory!! Let's see what EXCITING NEW POKEMON await us in this, our final dungeon of the-- oh. Zubat. It's a Zubat. I just caught another Zubat. ts name is Desmod, but it might as well be... Box 1. Cause that's where it'll be living. (Actually Box 2 though, I think.)

The dungeon here isn't actually that tough. The encounter rate is high enough that I got annoyed and put up some repels, but all that'll do is make grinding go a bit faster because you KNOW I'm not gonna fight the Elite 4 until everyone's AT LEAST Level 50. The trainers in here, to their credit, are reasonably tough. One Tamer in particular hurt me pretty bad with his sequence of Psychic types. I tried not to leave too often, since, at the very least, doing so would reset puzzle progress and drain max repels, but I did after this dude. Dig still takes me near Rock Tunnel. I literally haven't healed anywhere other than home since Rock Tunnel, lol. That'll change soon, I bet.

While here, I battled Moltres, the last of three legendary birds. As promised, I'll now discuss my thoughts on legendaries, because I quite frankly think that they're ruddy genius... in this game, and less so increasingly as the series progresses.

In this game, there are 4 legendary Pokemon - the three legendary birds and Mewtwo. Mew is a mythical and I'll talk about those another time, but legendaries are a distinct thing. In this game, despite all being birds except for the edgy one for whatever dumb reason, they are absolutely fantastically executed. Pokemon is a game that revels in boss fights - most routes have the strongest trainer strategically positioned last in a route, sometimes actively obstructing progress. Your rival shows up to fight you a total of eight times counting his final fight, which comes as a surprise at the end of the long foreshadowed gauntlet of four big bosses fought one after another with no Pokemon Centers inbetween, Team Rocket's leader fights you twice before being the last of eight town-based bosses themed around the elements, and that's not even counting optional bosses like the Karate King. However, all of these fights have something in common - they're all trainer fights.

While the distinction between trainer battles and wild Pokemon battles is not one that DRASTICALLY effects gameplay, it is one that exists. While the core principles are the same, two integral things about wild battles that are core to how they are approached are simply not options in trainer battles: running, and throwing Poke Balls. You can't steal people's Pokemon, but you can catch wild ones, and on occasion that capture is harder than most battles.

As such, legendary Pokemon are essentially the "wild Pokemon" answer to gym leaders. While gym leaders are a tough fight against a smart(ish) trainer with strong Pokemon, a legendary Pokemon is strong and, more importantly, very very hard to capture. I want to be clear, defeating these legendaries is not the hard part. I didn't actually do these bosses as they are intended to be fought, since I killed Moltres and Articuno and I used my Master Ball on Zapdos. But, had I gone the traditional route, I could have been spending 30+ Ultra Balls on EACH of them, and having to be so careful not to kill it or let it kill itself, or to let it kill any of my Pokemon. And this is a serious challenge! And THIS is what legendary Pokemon are for. They are out of the way, optional, very challenging, but rewarding intrinsically, because if you DO do the hard thing and catch them, then you have a powerful Pokemon you can use now. This is in opposition to the extrinsic reward of defeating a gym leader for a badge that allows you to train traded Pokemon to a higher level, to use HMs out of battle, to slightly increase stat growth, or whatever else. Getting handed something for winning a fight is great and makes sense... but with the legendaries, the fight is getting the damn things to stay in a ball, and the reward is the same as the reward for throwing a Poke Ball at a Rattata on Route 1: now you HAVE IT.

Of course... nothing stays good forever. In Gen 2, they introduce roaming legendaries. This is a different type of boss fight that takes place over the course of several fights, and is generally agreed to be way more of an obnoxious pain in the ass without actually being that innovative or fun. Instead of doing a cool dungeon that's hidden away and then fighting through your increasing worry to press onwards rather than resetting... an event flag happens in the story, and then you get to run aroung and do chip damage to a big cat or dog or something.

In Gen 3, for the first time, legendary Pokemon, rather than being hidden and out of the way, are thrust firmly in your face. This is the beginning of a change but, at least it's still a big lump of pain to actually capture Kyogre, Groudon or Rayquaza. While this gen also starts the trend of having more legendaries than it knows what to do with, it also makes up for it by having the most esoteric, "Mew is under the truck" type garbage puzzles in the whole series to get the golem-based Regis.

After this, things go bad quick. Starting in Gen 5 and continuing onwards, even being awkwardly shoehorned into the remakes of Gen 3, legendaries go from something you can seek out if you fancy a challenge or are a collector or want the power that comes with them... to being something that's literally handed to you on a silver platter, and that the game will not progress unless you acquire. This is bad and sucks. We'll get to it later.

Speaking of getting to things later. Next time, I guess... will be the Elite Four. After that, assuming I succeed, I'm gonna do some wrap up stuff. I do want to make some posts on here that aren't simply entries, talking about my overall opinion of Gen 1, my experience with nuzlocking it, and also discussing my opinions on some of the Pokemon found therein, which I will generally try to keep positive, since every Pokemon is someone's favorite and it's better to praise something that someone else might not have thought twice about than it is to criticize something that someone else might love. I may give a passing mention to which Pokemon appeal to me the least, but I would say that there are no Pokemon that I think are completely awful or unworthy of Being A Pokemon. (Also that gap will give me the time to finish Sun and buy an Ultra game which, given that MOST people I know who bought Moon were boring and then also bought Ultra Moon rather than buying Ultra Sun which I would think to make sense, will probably be Ultra Sun cause like, then I can trade my Blacephalon for their Stakataka or whatevs.) And then after that... Gen 2.

So, yeah. This has been an experiment so far and I'm really happy with how it has turned out. I look forward, not just to playing but also to writing each installment, and ideally, you look forward to reading them, even if they are uploaded at really weird times.

I'm gonna update the sidebar when I wake up in the... afternoon. Working overnights weirds time.

#entries #pokemon #pokemon blue #nuzlocke

[spiritcc]

Clowns

Soon it will be Pagliacci. Don’t ask. 

The third episode off the marathon list, and boy I think my opinion about it changes every time I see it. One thing doesn’t though, this episode is definitely not the best one out there, although it’s the second most watched episode on youtube after the first one. One can only wonder, what can I say. I fought for this one and its copyright claims the most as well, don’t know why I said that, alright.

As always, very spoiler infested, talking about the entire series, beware, all that.

Pagliacci is an opera they’re all listening to here. Definitely the tune.

The first time I’ve seen it, this episode fucking broke me. I don’t know, I just found it very heavy, everyone suffers and gets manipulated and all that, sad stuff. I still thought it wasn’t as good as the second episode, for example, still can’t exactly pinpoint why. 

Today, now I know that a thing as Sherlock Holmes: The Game of Shadows exists and all, I just found this episode kinda fun, but nothing else. Despite it being literally crucial to the plot, nothing particularly catchy after the first watch. 

Yeah, if you’re as in the dark as me about other Holmes adaptations, that second RDJ movie and this episode are identical plot-wise. Literally, look it up. It’s so similar it’s scary. The most interesting thing is that neither could’ve stolen anything from one another, RDJ came out in 2011 and this series wrapped the filming up that year, so again, one can only wonder. A kind of similar thing was pointed out about Sherlock S3 and this series as well back in 2014, like both Moriarties never actually died and some other weirdly precise matches, but as of today, that sure fell fucking flat, haha, Sherlock, u don fucked it up. So, whoever seen RDJ first, that will sure spoil the entirety of this episode. 

A lot of casual foreshadowing in this one, a lot.

I really wonder about the timeline of this journal, obviously since those pics are events yet to come episode-wise and Watson is talking in past tense, all these narrations happen at least after the Reichenbach. The only episode where Watson writes in present tense is the last one. So, obviously, one of the reasons he’s writing all of this down is to look back at the man he once knew, but anyway. 

Parenting sure is hard

These teenagers are so dramatic

I thought the first part of this episode was kind of exciting, Moriarty all right and everything, when it was just a distant case, everything was going fine

This guy used to advertise juice and now he’s here being all spy-ish. I mean I’m glad he’s got other career paths besides juice, but it’s still kinda weird.

The casual foreshadowing hit me just like Big Ben hit one. Ballistics, followed by Big Ben ringing. I mean holy shit. The entire of the last episode right there. Yikes. Always been there

Here comes the scene that used to be my most popular post once, almost 28k notes, if not for the fucking fwoosh cat meme. Despite the fame, the show didn’t gain any new audience. 

Now, here comes the personal part of this case and there things get pretty nasty. This episode does sure come down brutally on differences between Holmes and Watson, and many would probably root for Watson there, but I felt this episode hard because I kind of accepted both of them. We’ve talked about Watson’s past that will always be a part of his life and mentality, he’s still a soldier. Holmes is just a rather pathetic dude with skewed priorities and no basic compassion whatsoever, no background for that, he’s just this weird. Holmes cares about the case, Watson cares about his friends.

Then things switch, and Holmes seemingly cares more about some gal and Watson cares about the case. I don’t know, should I get into this or nah? Did everyone kinda get everyone? No sudden disgust with Holmes or whatever? Everyone gets the situation he was in and stuff? I don’t feel like defending anyone because I always assumed everyone understood what was going on. I personally felt for each character there, even if I didn’t understand or agree with their thinking.

What I do wonder about is Watson’s acceptance of this, he got slapped, turned into a criminal and participated in some war starting scheme, well, at first. He went along with it and at the end had no reaction besides “yeah...bad stuff....”. That’s some rather difficult characteristic to read through, does he understand that in the end Holmes is somewhere in his own realm and he just has to accept that they have polar opposite views on things? Holmes is a young pathetic dude that always needs help and also provides some cool adventures? On one end, I should’ve been really questioning Watson’s behaviour there, especially when at the end he didn’t feel much about the entire ambassador situation. But then, I’m afraid that subconsciously I get him. Like you know, I watch him just shrug everything off and yeah, well. What’s done is done, Holmes is Holmes. Literally, I could write essays about that, but it will never be as perfectly summarised as the basic idea that Holmes is Holmes. Why should Watson demand apologies, engage into some heating ideological debates when, at the end, Holmes is Holmes? He’s not on the same level as everyone else, and I think that’s what Watson understands perfectly, and that’s why he is totally willing to shrug his comments off and close eyes on a lot of his actions. After all, when did it NOT pay off? Don’t demand normal things from him, just follow his lead and you will not be disappointed. 

I think I’m also answering my big question as to how in the fuck did these two became friends after all of this, and man, it still makes a whole lot of sense. Not like it never did or anything, but yeah, I totally see the reasons why. Although never really understood why Holmes, across all adaptations, decided to be friends with Watson, but yeah. Holmes is Holmes, so fuck knows what’s going on up there.   

On the understanding part, I think I’m still not a cold blooded bitch after all since despite all my feelings towards Irene Adler, I could still sympathise with her situation. 

When your fucky ex cockblocks you

I mean, why wouldn’t you get the girl, she’s fucked. Even at this point it’s clear that she’s fucked, she’s trapped, she’s obviously on Moriarty’s team forcibly and if something happens she’s completely screwed and helpless, not even mentioning her pathetic boyfriend. I still don’t like their awkward romance, although Holmes’ sentiment is cute, but it is what it is. 

They literally knew each other for a day, when did all of this big love bullshit happen. 

Anyways, these guys are fucky and helpless, but that’s what makes it work, in my opinion, they’re all young clueless idiots who barely have any idea what they’re up against. Holmes was never a hero. Holmes was never a proper member of society. All he has in his disposal is his brain, and he might be a lot of things and names you want to call him, but his intellect is the only thing he uses for a weapon, and that weapon is awesomely deadly. 

Confirmed farsightedness here, shouldn’t have wasted so much time examining dirt up close

Also, interesting background Mycroft that keeps saving Sherlock’s ass and agreeing to all the shit he proposes. I’m always a bitch for statements like Lestrade’s about Mycroft constantly having to get his brother out of trouble.

The ambassador gang is weirdly charming, I’d totally hang out with these guys. 

That scene fucked me up the first time, not anymore I guess, but yeah, hits the nail on the head, this Holmes is pathetic and life is clearly not on the side of this guy as the stories make it seem.

I secretly relate way too much to this Holmes because how much of a loser he is, couldn’t care less about the guy at first, but then Watson gave way to Holmes almost completely. I’ve always been a Holmes girl whichever the adaptation *shrugs*.  

He trolled Moriarty when no one else could

I already mentioned it somewhere that he dropped a fucking Beatles reference of all things there, a sentence that should’ve been “yesterday all my trouble seemed so far away” which I’m not translating properly because it’s fucking outrageous. Kavun himself wanted us to fix it, believe it or not. I’m not doing it. I’m not making one of the most ingenious Moriarties out there quote The Beatles. Are you shitting me. 

I love this series’ Moriarty so much you can’t imagine. This episode scared the shit out of me at first, the guy is fucking scary, and he still is no matter how convincing, in your opinion, this episode was. I mean jesus fuck he’s been there literally all along since episode one and some people have seen the series several times and had no idea. I think I’ll talk more about the guy in the sixth episode or so, but yeah, love him. Insulting the genius of this Moriarty is insulting me. I’m grabbing onto him even stronger than to fucking Holmes himself probably. Also, WE DID THE SURVIVING FIRST.

I liked (=died) how the show plays with its established rules, boxing before this episode was always a some sort of lighthearted element, comic relief or so. Now they broke this rule and made it very hard to watch. Indeed, fun

Now, how did they come up with the translator scene? This is so specific I really wonder if there was someone amongst the crew really fed up with something, or not exactly properly fed, huh. 

This guy is definitely a one scene wonder. At least he ate in the end, nobody else got the chance when the French guy got shot. Very smart.  

The French guy, have you noticed, in his first scene he said that this opera feels like it’s bringing him back to life. Cue to the end of this episode:

Fantastic. 

No, but these guys are so fun to hang out with, there’s like a war ready to break out at any moment and they’re just chillin’ pranking each other on personal and global level.

The sailor’s background ark hits unexpectedly at the last second. The agent of the queen. The queen, of course, she’d been hunting for Moriarty for quite a while, Holmes had no idea what he got himself into. 

Did you know there are a few fics of Moriarty/Quee- never mind I’m not elaborating on that.

Lots of foreshadowing

Only by the end of the third episode did we find out his name.

That’s how you work your way up the criminal world. 

So yeah, I don’t know, really crucial to the overall plot, but not that enjoyable in the end, I literally don’t know why. Something about the plot, I’ve no idea, something about it just wasn’t that fascinating in the end. 

Pagliacci or not, but Holmes and Adler are surely a bunch of tragic clowns. 

#new russian sherlock holmes #marathon notes #pagliacci

[thousandmovieproject]

I didn’t know what the hell was going on here for like the first twenty minutes because the only version of Midnight Song I could find was a grainy transfer on YouTube, which was cracklesome and nostalgic (pleasant in that sense) but it was also hard to see. Also, worse yet, the subtitles appear to be word-for-word translations from the original. English words formatted in Chinese grammar. So we get sentences like, “We allows the enemy’s account excels fierce beasts of that year,” which goes noplace near even making a little bit of sense, and, “It stops rain now, we can do not beat the umbrella.” So the prospect of following the story and writing an essay was daunting and seemed doomed, like I’d have to rely on Wikipedia for a plot summary again.

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It’s at least as funny as it is disorienting but ultimately a story does begin to take shape. The fractured syntax and nonsequitors pick up a strange rhythm, like a secret language between yourself and the movie, and eventually the dialogue starts to ebb just over the line of coherence.

The story is a spin on Phantom of the Opera. A troupe of actors settle into a dusty old theater to prepare for a major performance. Their perfectionist male lead, whose name I can’t find, struggles through rehearsals, starts working on the apparently-challenging role by himself late at night, whereupon, being overheard by a slouching shadowy figure who sings well and was allegedly once a performer of enormous repute, a tutor comes forth, and counsels the young man, until eventually he achieves perfection and the performance is a great success – and while that’s totally ow I remember the movie playing out, I also feel like I’m missing something. I probably am. But I figure the wonky subtitles gave me at least 70% of the story.

Lon Chaney’s unmasking in Phantom of the Opera

Anyway. Eventually the cloaked figure is unmasked (cued by a wonderfully cheesy crash of thunder and lightening) and we see that he’s disfigured. It’s not the demonic disfigurement of Lon Chaney in the source material. Our guy here is disfigured by acid and his face has the droopy, melted-wax quality that – though fleshier than the outcome of an actual acid attack – pretty well achieves the look. It’s shocking, and upsetting, but not horrifying. And now we get the flashback to how it all happened. This is how Midnight Song surpasses Phantom of the Opera. Because even with the ridiculous subtitles, and the awful picture quality, the scene in which the disfigured anti-hero, following the attack that deforms him (which I think he’s made target of on account of political subversion[?]), removes his bandages and sees his face for the first time is one of the most powerful scenes, some of the most remarkable acting, to grace the List so far. I can confidently recommend Midnight Song on the basis of those two minutes alone.

Is it a good movie aside from that? Yes. But I think it only barely pulls enough weight to warrant its place on the List (though there’s something to be said about the East being under-represented up to now – it also begs the question of whether a feature-length movie should be included on the List only because of a single outstanding scene). It makes for an informative contrast against Phantom of the Opera, which is a weaker movie ine very respect. For all of that earlier movie’s mood and powerful images, and its pleasant abundance of Lon Chaney, the iconography of Phantom resides in one or two images, not the whole movie. I’m strongly of the opinion that most people who say that they really like the movie aren’t actually fans of the film overall but, rather, of its camp, and a couple of well-accomplished scenes. Midnight Song is supplied, twice over, with the heart that was missing from Phantom. Maybe that’s not such a fair comparison to make, because one had the privilege of sound and the other didn’t (although that’s not always a default excuse, the use of sound does give a skilled director an extra tool), but Phantom of the Opera is pretty clearly meant to shock its audience more than move them. That’s the whole premise of its quality: it’s socking. But time has stripped it of shock value. So what’s left?

Also, Phantom of the Opera is just a clusterfuck of a movie. It’s got four directors and no momentum.

Midnight Song gets kinda weird in its second half. The phantom believes that his ex-girlfriend – to whom he long ago faked his death so that she would never have to see his deformity – will be able to finally cope with his passing if she’s visited, and consoled, by his ghost. So he goes to his young protégé and says, basically, “Dess like me, talk like me, and go console her, at midnight, as though you were my wandering spirit.” And it goes on from there.

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A personal weakness when it comes to evaluating a movie is that I’m a sucker for well-crafted mentor/protégé relationships. Whether it’s a father-son or master-pupil thing, there’s something about that dynamic that I find really compelling. We don’t get much of it here, with the phantom coaching the young actor, and even though they’re essentially peers, working in the same field and not so far apart in age, there’s an Old Master quality to the phantom. But eventually the old master proves needy. His air of authority crumbles under that neediness.

This is gonna prompt another tangent, forgive me: there’s an older guy I work with, his name’s Bill, and Bill’s a sweetheart, he’s always bending over backward to help people out and he’s been doing that kind of thing his whole life. What’s his is yours. That kinda guy. The thing is this, though: Bill doesn’t drive, on account of he’s 81 and can’t see so well (actually gets routine injections in his eyeballs), and as a result of this he’s constantly bumming rides from people. Students, mainly. But when a student isn’t around, he comes to me. There was a period where I was taking him home almost every night for several months. And the conversation was always pleasant, and stopping by his house didn’t call for much of a detour from my usual route, but it did mean that I’d get home at 9 p.m. instead of 8:30 – which is kind of a big deal when you’re waking up early (at the time I was both a high school substitute and a tutor at the college, so I’d wake up at 5 a.m. four days of the week). But he was so nice that it felt monstrous to refuse himt he service.

But then he started asking to stop at Walgreens on the way home. And at Starbucks. And at Don Pan (a chain of bakeries down here in Miami). If I told him I didn’t wanna stop, that I had to get home, he’d say, “Well then just drop me off and I’ll walk the rest of the way.”

OK, Bill. Sure. You’re fucking 81 tears old and I’m gonna have you walk two miles in the dark with your arms fulla shit you just bought.

Eventually I boiled the proposition down to a quick phrase. He’d ask for a ride and I’d say sure – “no stops, though.” He’d balk at this sometimes, get condescending; on more than one occasion he stormed outta the room. Eventually he stopped asking.

But Bill came in here this past Saturday, there was a little over an hour left in my shift, and he’d just finished with his classes fr the day and he was ready to go home. He starts drumming his fingers on the counter, making small talk with my colleague, glancing over at me. I’m editing an essay. I know he needs a ride. But I’m doing work so I just keep my eyes on the page. Speak when spoken to.

After a couple minutes he said bye and left. My colleague and I exchanged looks.

“Think he wanted a ride?”

I shrugged, and kept working.

There’s a part of me that self-flagellates whenever I turn Bill down, or dodge his questions or just keep away from him because I don’t even wanna be asked, but there’s another part of me, the busy part, that feels no shame at all. Feels with resolve that if he wants a ride from me he’s gonna choose one destination.

Not sure what the right course of action might be here. Or if there is one. But I’m definitely compelled to give him the ride just outta fondness for the guy, as it doesn’t cost me much more than my time, but I’m impaled on the fence of whether or not it makes me a rotten person to delineate what might be rudely strict parameters on that generosity. If I compare the degree of inconvenience these rides impose upon me to the convenience they provide for Bill, the answer should be obvious: give him the ride! Don’t make this dude take the bus again. Don’t put him in the situation of having to call everybody on his phone to see who’s willing to come by and give him a ride.

But at the same time: fuck. I don’t wanna make all these stops.

Anyway. Midnight Song is good, I can see myself watching it again, but I think I’ll go for the official translation next time.

#108. Midnight Song (1937) I didn’t know what the hell was going on here for like the first twenty minutes because the only version of…

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