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jasonrae117 · 4 years

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Night at the Wayne Casino

Part 4

Damian looked the part, he may have stolen a few pointers from the years spent around Jason and Richard, but he was ready to finally get the information he wanted directly from the source. He wore a perfectly tailored Stefano Ricci silk dress shirt in a deep navy, with a few of the top buttons unfastened. He paired it with fitted black pants, a black leather belt with steel hardware, and matching black leather Tom Ford dress shoes. If he was going to attend a party, he was going to make sure everyone knew who he was, if they didn’t know his face, they would know by the sheer cost of his shirt alone.

He was good at commanding a room, it wouldn’t be a problem for him to be the center of the party and get exactly what he wanted. It would almost be too easy, it was a setup for the woman and she would have to play right into his hand.

Damian decided that he would arrive right on time, which was considered early according to Jason. He wanted to scope the place out for details and have a plan in place. He was familiar with all the layouts of the rooms already, it was more to figure out the best vantage points when the place would be filled with bodies. It also gave him a chance to take his time ordering a drink. He often wasn’t a fan of alcohol, especially when he considered himself to be on the job, but he had to play the part. He had to admit that it did ease his nerves a bit.

Something about confronting the woman that plagued every waking thought, and dreams, made something close to excitement bubble within him. He’d finally be able to find out how soft her skin truly was, and if it matched what his brain had envisioned it to be….as part of the act to get her alone so that he could get a confession from Raven.

As the next hour came to pass, he had seen no sign of his target and it was beginning to look like a failed mission for him. He had endured countless women sliding their hands down his arms and some braver ones traveling up his leg. Unfortunately for them, there was only one woman’s hands Damian wanted on him.

No. Damian shook his head trying to clear his thoughts. Perhaps he should have stopped at his second drink, especially since it was bourbon.

The man he stood next to now was droning on about a business idea he wanted to propose to Bruce, but instead of listening, Damian took this opportunity to reflect on his thoughts and feelings for once.

These past few days had proved to him that he was still mentally weak. He let lust seep into his mind and alter what his gut was telling him. When he had seen Raven with Tim, he was furious and regretfully jealous. He had a split second of insanity catching himself wishing that it was himself that had snuck Raven into the security room to taste her skin on his lips. He now came to terms that it wasn’t jealousy but in fact shame in himself, not that he couldn’t get the woman, but rather he let his hormones sway his judgement. And that he wasn’t mad at Tim for being with Raven, but mad at himself that he had almost listened to him and turned his back on his gut. He laughed at himself, this woman was good, he just had to prove it.

Maybe he was just in denial about his feelings?

Damian grunted at his conflicting thoughts and realized that he had gained the attention of...whoever was talking to him. He finished what was left in his glass and addressed the man “Excuse me, my drink seems to be empty and I’d like to get some fresh air now.”

“Oh, sure. We can go outside, I still have to show you our advertising pitch.” The man began to pull out his phone, clearly not catching Damian’s hint.

“Sir, what I mean is-”

“Hold on a sec, it’s right here. You can go grab us some drinks and I’ll meet you outside. I just gotta set up the slideshow.”

Damian cleared his throat. “What I was trying to imply was that I’d rather not discuss business at a party with someone who clearly isn’t important enough to schedule an appointment with my father. I certainly don’t want to be bothered with having the expectation that I’ll actually relay this foolish proposal to him either.”

The man burned red and apologized profusely. He hurried out of the room at almost lightning speed. Damian sighed in relief and scanned the room once more before pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. Maybe coming to this party was a bad idea, Raven wasn’t here and he had accidentally made eye contact with a woman at the bar and she began to head his way.

Damian rolled his eyes and weaved through the crowd in hopes to lose the woman and escape to the large and lavish balcony.

The cooler night air alleviated some of the irritation from the lack of activity this party had provided him. It helped to let the fresh air carry away his conflicting thoughts as he contemplated his next move. The better part of him wanted to leave and see if there were any files that needed to be looked at or, better yet, see if Raven had actually been planning to hit the casino when he was busy in this stupid suite. However, his gut was telling him to stick it out and that she would show. Parties in Vegas were always in full swing for hours and he hardly spent two at this one, odds were that she’d spend the time getting primped to seduce more information out of weak-willed men.

The more formal time of the party seemed to have passed as the lights in the suite were being lowered and replaced partially by strobe and colored ones in addition to the increased volume of dance music. People were now flocking to the open space in the middle of the suite and swaying closely to one another. Damian despised dancing and more particularly the modern club dancing being displayed in front of him tonight.

Though he was outside, the music could still be heard clearly through the open doors and thus everyone’s conversations got louder chipping away at last bits of his patience. I’m doing this for Raven...for the team and myself. Right now I look unapproachable, this won’t do. Damian took a deep breath with his eyes closed to focus himself and will the headache away that was imminent. He turned back to the party and made his way to the bar to replenish his drink, at this point in time a little less sobriety would be welcome.

…

Damian glanced down at his watch and noted that three hours have passed since he arrived and by his estimate that the party wouldn’t be over for another three or so hours. He had circled the perimeter many times and had yet to see any trace that she was here or was coming at all. For a moment he thought that Jon was pranking him by sending him to a party under the guise that it was a lead on Raven when it was perhaps a way to get him ‘out more’ like he had always said was his personal mission. However, he knew Jon wasn’t foolish enough to waste his time like this and Jon, himself, was the one to tell Raven about the party and get her the invite.

Jon had come to his room while Damian was getting ready and had told him what he left out in their previous conversation. Damian was furious at first, thinking that Raven had gotten into Jon’s head but Jon insisted he did it to give Damian a chance to observe her without interference from Tim. Of course this was after Jon went on about Raven’s beauty and that if Tim and Damian ended up striking out, he would throw his name into the hat for her affection, which earned him a rough punch to the shoulder. As much as Jon’s teasing annoyed him, he had to admit that his plan was brilliant...if only she showed.

He was yet again stuck in a conversation with another rich and beautiful woman. Had he not been here for work, he may have considered sleeping with her to release his tension and frustration. The conversation hadn’t been particularly exciting, but at least she wasn’t overtly throwing herself at him or touching him inappropriately. She had been talking about a new restaurant opening on the other side of the strip where they specialized in vegetarian and vegan options, which actually sounded interesting, but a flash of long pale legs caught his attention.

He could have imagined it, wishing something was there to make this all not seem like a waste of time, but there she was across the room inspecting the suite’s occupant’s book collection. He was ashamed to admit that he could identify her even though she was bent over and all he could see was her full backside and those perfect legs of hers that popped out of the ruched green skirt. She stood up and turned around, a book in one hand and a small glace in the other, her identity officially confirmed and the heat that rushed to his face dissipating. He mentally scolded himself for spending too much time staring at her ass during all of the previous encounters and the security footage he had re-watched a few times, though it had proved to be useful after all. He had to tell himself that to keep himself from feeling like a pervert.

His intention wasn’t to ogle her while he was watching the footage, he wanted to see if she had patterns or accomplices. But he found himself having to rewind it multiple times because he kept getting distracted by the sway of her hips or the way all of her outfits seemed to cling perfectly to her body.

The woman next to him cleared her throat and crossed her arms over her chest. "You should stop staring at that slut over there and focus on me. She's probably some cheap escort, nobody that's worth your time." She placed her hand on his arm and smiled at him. Oh if she only knew.

"And I suppose you're worth my time?" He faced her.

"Of course, I'm hot and rich. Plus the way I get my money is clean and I don't have to be a whore to get it." She laughed and flipped her fake blonde hair over her shoulder. This woman was unbelievable and it was getting on his nerves, he was grateful he was here on duty so he wouldn't have made the mistake of sleeping with her. Who the hell did she think she was talking about some other woman like that, much less Raven.

"Is that all that matters to you? Looks and wealth?" His eyes narrowed and he pulled away from her.

"Yeah, what else does there need to be?"

"Tt, tell me, how do you get your money?"

"From my father. My family is rich and understands that I don't need to waste my time with work."

"Hmm, I see. You're what? Twenty-four? And you're still sponging off your family, what happens when they decide you're too old?"

"Uh..I marry a hot rich guy. That's why I'm talking to you." She was so nonchalant about her answers it was pathetic.

"How unfortunate for me. I think I'll go talk to that woman over there since I'm fairly certain that she's not an escort."

"Whatever, she's sure as hell not as rich as I am! Why waste your time?"

"The thing is, you are not rich, your father is and you're just an over processed leech. There's more to life than just looks and wealth, besides she's far richer in beauty than any surgeon could ever make you out to be. And I could tell that she's significantly more interesting in the twenty seconds I've looked at her than the fifteen minutes I wasted talking to you."

She was silent and looked at him incredulously. Clearly no one has set this woman straight before.

“Now I suggest you find some other man to sell yourself to, maybe they’re foolish enough to entertain you, or at least smart enough to get you to sleep with them before they get too annoyed by your shallow superficiality. “

“Asshole.” She scoffed and spun on her overpriced heels disappearing into the crowd.

He hoped none of this would get back to his father. Though he wasn’t working, he had been in two confrontations already and it could reflect poorly on the resort. He was well within his right to set those two straight and honestly the company was better off without their patronage, but that didn’t mean Bruce wouldn’t frown upon his treatment of guests since he still had an obligation to uphold a certain image of the Wayne name.

Damian turned back to the space in front of the bookshelf where his target had been moments before. However, she was no longer there and he cursed himself for losing sight of her. He scanned the room for what felt like the hundredth time that night and finally spotted her outside against the railing. He took another brief moment to observe the outfit she had chosen tonight, a forest green tube dress ending just below mid-thigh. The dress had a circle cutout on both sides revealing the bottom of her rib cage to the top of her hips, it was dissected by a gold metal band that matched the metal choker around her neck and the cuff on both of her wrists. Her hair was straightened and flowed past her shoulders and even from his distance, it looked like silk. Her beauty never ceased to intrigue him, even without the flattering clothes, she was a walking goddess. That’s why she is so dangerous.

He had just noticed the two men that were on either side of her. One had his hand on her waist while the other had his arm behind her holding on to the rail. Why was it that every man was attracted to her like moths to a flame? Wherever she went, there always seemed to be at least three pairs of eyes on hers, one of them always his. Even now, there were a handful of men ready to swoop in the get shot at trying to woo the ethereal beauty. It pissed him off and he felt just the slightest bit of jealousy.

He couldn’t just interrupt, it would be suspicious, and she didn’t seem to mind the company of the two men. He had to wait, maybe she was plotting something and these two men were informants. Raven seemed to be good at only talking to the people that could give her useful information, although these men didn’t work at the casino and he didn’t recognize them as anyone important. Perhaps she was in a similar position as him and being plagued by unwanted attention. He had to play it cool, bide his time and he would get his chance.

For the next hour, Damian kept within a ten foot radius of her and kept trying to think of ways to intercept her before the next imbecile tried his luck with her. Much like the trail of men she left in her wake, he too was unlucky in his endeavor. That is until he noticed her heading to the bar for another drink. He still carried his almost empty glass and polished off the last sip before hurrying to the bar and getting there just before her.

He signaled the bartender to come to him when he had a moment and patiently held his glass. Sure enough Raven had filled the empty spot beside him and set her glass down. He forced himself to not instinctively look at her as he focused on the lines of expensive alcohol on the wall.

“Damian? I mean Mr. Wayne.” He looked down at her to see surprise written on her face.

“Miss Roth. “ he nodded.

She let out a short laugh. “I guess every employee knows my name here.”

“I guess you’re a popular woman.” He allowed a smirk to rise on his lips.

“I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. Sounds a bit scary to have the head of security know you by name at a casino you haven’t been to before that’s at least fourteen hours from where you live.” She chuckled and played with the cuff on her wrist.

“You haven’t exactly been a normal guest here either.” Her face turned red at his words and to what he had been referring to.

“Uh…I suppose not.” Raven looked away and shifted awkwardly. The bartender approached them and Damian gestured for her to order first. “Bourbon on the rocks please.”

“Make that two.” Damain cut in and the bartender nodded pouring them their drinks. Damian handed him money to cover both of the drinks plus a decent tip.

“Thank you, but you didn’t have to.” She took a small sip.

“I didn’t, but I wanted to.”

A soft smile graced her lips and she put her glass back down. “So, this didn’t strike me as an event that would require security.”

“That’s because it doesn’t. I am not on duty”

“Oh, I didn’t think this was your kind of scene.”

“Why is that Miss Roth?” Damian faced her and leaned his side against the bar top.

“Well, being the head of security and all and you’re always so...serious when I’ve run into you. Kind, but serious. But I suppose you kind of have to be that way, intimidating.” She looked up at him and her indigo eyes locked onto his emerald ones.

“Am I intimidating Miss Roth?” Damian leaned into her space just a bit, his heart beating just a bit faster. He watched as her eyes glanced at his mouth before darting back to his eyes as a blush danced across her cheeks.

“Are you trying to intimidate me Mr. Wayne?” She cocked her head to the side and raised an eyebrow, closing the distance a bit more.

“Among other things…” His hand reached up and brushed her dark hair off her shoulder. The action had occurred subconsciously but he reveled in the feeling it gave him watching a shiver run through her body.

“And would those other things be in violation of your work?” Raven’s left hand moved from her drink to his forearm that rested on the bar. He glanced down at her delicate fingers dancing along the thin silk of his sleeve.

“I believe I told you that I wasn’t working right now.”

“Mm, so you did. Tell me, what are these ‘other things’?”

Damian leaned into her to whisper directly in her ear. “I’d like to tell you… or show you somewhere in private, where every other man in the room isn’t glaring at me because I’ve been able to keep your attention for longer than five minutes.”

He pulled back still keeping within her space and noticed her breaths coming in more shallow and the blush from earlier still stained her face.

“How would you know that nobody has been able to talk to me for longer than five minutes?”

“It’s a special skill of mine to observe, especially the activity involving a sort of target.” He smirked at her again. She was falling right into his trap and he didn’t even have to lie.

“Where do you suggest we go then? I’m sure you’ve come up with a plan while waiting for your turn.” She took a step into and he could smell her perfume, sending his mind into a haze.

“My suite is just two floors down.”

“Lead the way.”

He took her hand and briefly admired the way it felt in his. He was starting to feel excited and for once, nervous. He questioned himself and his sanity when he invited her to his suite. He never brought anyone in there, but here he was heading to the elevator with one of the most puzzling women he has ever come across. He was aroused by her and also infuriated with her. When they had reached the elevator and it had opened up the pair stepped in and as soon as the doors closed, his hands were on her waist and hers were on his chest. Their breaths were heavy and there was an intensity in their gaze.

He leaned down to kiss her and if the descent had been longer he would have been able to, but before he knew it, the door opened again. “Fuck.” He had lost control. He grabbed the back of her thighs and hoisted her up. She let out a small squeak in shock but wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. He pressed his lips to hers and began walking to his room. Her lips matched his with equal intensity as she pulled on his collar and tugged his hair. When he reached his door he didn’t break contact and simply reached into his back pocket that held his key card and inserted it with ease into the handle.

The green light flashed and he ripped the card out and threw the door open and kicked it shut behind him. He moved his mouth down to her neck and kissed her pulse down to the juncture of her shoulder. Her moan encouraged him to squeeze her thighs which made her grind into him. Her skin was softer than he imagined and he couldn’t contain himself any longer. The tightness in his pants begged for her.

Damian laid her down on his bed and withdrew from her, taking in the unforgettable sight in front of him. She was breathing heavily and her neck bared marks from his assault on it moments ago, her lips were parted and red and her lust-filled eyes were trained on him.

“Damian?”

This was not his plan or intention...or maybe it was. For the first time, he didn’t care about this case, he had denied every emotion he felt and dismissed it as some trick she was playing, and maybe she was even playing him at this moment. But just for tonight, all he wanted was to accept those feelings, that passion, and investigate her, all of her.

#night at the wayne casino #casino au #Damian Wayne #raven x damian #damirae #raven #raven roth #more parts to come #its getting hot in here #Teen Titans

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girlwithacrown · 4 years

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Wolfstar Archeology

So I did some digging

There is this super awesome fanfic “Not Ever” and I wanted to read some more of the same author, but it is an orphan account on AO3, so I did some small digging and found out that the account was actually hacked and everything was orphaned, there is a LadyFaceElena Masterlist.

As far as I understood, after the hack they published under the name angryspaceravenclaw, nowadays the account’s fics are also orphaned and the tumblr angry-space-ravenclaw is empty, but there is also a Wolfstar fics published under angryspaceravenclaw and LadyFaceElena: Masterlist 1 and Masterlist 2 (all pairings)

some Wolstar fics published under LadyFaceElena:

Loved In Spite of Ourselves (LONG, 170k, not complete)

"It began with four boys, and one compartment." Spanning across time, through the first war, and into the second. The years were both kind and cruel for ones called Marauders, and for ones who came after. But they knew friendship, and sorrow, and love, and joy. And sometimes it was only things things which allowed them to survive--if that's all they could do. Survive.

Artists and Moonlight (series, 20k, not complete)

Remus Lupin isn't sure what to make of his new flatshare situation. He's a quiet student with a past, who doesn't date and is determined to keep it that way. Then he meets his artist flatmate, Sirius Black and his entire world is turned upside down.

There Were Strangers Watching (6k, complete)

Sirius is determined that Remus have some fun before they begin University, so using the money his uncle left him in the will, he drags Remus off to Las Vegas. Determined to have fun, the boys explore the city, have a few drinks, and wake up...married? It would all be fun and games if Remus Lupin hadn't been madly in love with Sirius Black for almost five long years.

Tumblr Trash (series, 35k, not complete)

Padfoot and Moony meet over mutual follows on Tumblr. Remus, the blind student, hires Sirius, the fallen Aristocrat, to be a reader for his classes. They fall in love in separate ways, and fall apart. Then fall together. Their love is almost as ridiculous as they are.

WolfStar (series, 45k, not complete)

Two worlds collide. Deaf artist Sirius Black works at his best mate's cafe. Remus Lupin is an epileptic student from France who is just looking to get by unnoticed. But the artist sees something he wants in the shy boy, and makes it his mission to see what makes Remus tick.

Fiery-Coloured World (3k, complete)

Sirius knew it would be minutes, moments, seconds before his heart told him he was in love and there was no going back from the emotional tidal wave that was Remus bloody Lupin.

Finally Found My Hallelujah (15k, complete)

Remus Lupin had always been good at sorting out dates and special occasions for people, which is why his best friend and Quidditch star, James Potter, talked him into wedding planning once they left Hogwarts. He lived a solitary, but happy life. That is, until King Slytherin, Sirius Black, strolls into his office and asks for help planning his arranged marriage. Remus Lupin is nothing if not a professional, but it's not easy when the groom-to-be was the man Remus had been fantasising about since fifth year.

Remember Me (5k, complete)

Remus Lupin was having an Ordinary Tuesday. That is, until a strange boy grabs him and offers him money to play the boyfriend. Remus thinks it will all be fine, until he's pulled into Number 12 Grimmauld place, and finds himself swept away by Sirius O. Black.

Forever (20k, complete)

Sirius Black--CoDA, outcast, family disappointment, and fairly famous YouTuber who runs a sign language channel SiriuslySigns with his best mate, James. Remus Lupin-- vegan hipster who dropped out of University and lives with his best mate Peter, and together run HowlingMoon's DIY, barmy science experiments, and ukulele tutorials channel. When Sirius becomes enamoured with Moony's singing, he dedicates a sign tutorial in hopes he'll be noticed. This leads to exchanging of shout-outs and videos, and what Sirius hopes, is a little something more.

Far Away the Stars (36k, complete)

“Oh hell, what a pair we make,” Remus said, and Sirius threw his head back and laughed.“Truest statement I’ve heard in a long time.” Sirius bowed his head. “I don’t care about people easily. But you’re like a fucking tidal wave, Moony. You just short of showed up and swept me away and I gave up trying to fight it.”Remus fought back the urge to grab him and pull him down and just have him right there because they hadn’t got that far yet. “And here I thought you just didn’t like me. Who knew?”

Aging Gracelessly (13k, complete)

Remus is being dragged into the modern century by his son in the form of a brand-new smartphone. He means to text Teddy, and ends up accidentally meeting, and sharing his plight with another person in the same boat as him. Though Remus thinks it's just a passing moment, little does he know what wheels have been set in motion.

Forever is Definitely Punk Rock (9k, complete)

When Remus Lupin met Sirius Black for the first time, he very nearly killed him. Now, it wasn’t entirely his fault, something he would maintain for the rest of his life, and Sirius being as dramatic as he was would often remind the taller, tawny-haired man of his very harrowing near-death experience at the front bumper of his car.

#Wolfstar archaeology #wolfstar #wolfstar fanfiction #i did some digging

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brianachristine · 3 years

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Tips From A Traveling Vegan

Links included

I’ve been eating an entirely plant based diet for 15 months. In San Diego, very close to La Jolla, this was pretty easy. When I first converted some friends were concerned I wouldn’t be able to maintain this lifestyle as a frequent traveler.

I love when “friends” project their personal inadequacies on to me.

Unsolicited advice anyone?

Well you’re already reading so I take it you’re interested.

I’ve traveled to London, Ireland, Budapest, and many cities in the US and easily kept my vegan lifestyle. That’s right, 12 months ago I went to Europe! I know that’s hard to believe, but that’s not the point.

And while we’re on the topic of things that aren’t the point, this isn’t a post to share the benefits of plant based eating for any skeptics.

This is a post about where I have found THE best places to dine plant based in the US.

I was going to save this post for a later date after traveling to a few more states - but I had no idea Austin, TX was going to make my list of one of the most vegan friendly cities.

Yes, even more than San Diego.

Let’s get to the list of delicious plant based eats you MUST try.

One of the first plant based meals I had before I went all out plant based was Native Foods in Chicago. You’ll be happy to know this is a chain restaurant - so there just might be one near you!

I don’t remember what I ordered and I stopped using Yelp so I can’t go back and look.

Why did I stop using Yelp after using for 10 years? Because the restaurants that claim to be vegan are liars and Yelp doesn’t monitor that shit.

Uh hmm… excuse me. What I meant to politely say was that I switched to Vegan Maps which is only moderately better. It doesn’t give you all of your options because it won’t mention ANY restaurants that serve meat EVEN if they have an amazing vegan option.

Ok, now that you know how to find actual vegan food every time, let’s go to the next amazing place.

While visiting Seattle I went to Vitality Bowls for lunch because I love me some Açaí bowls 😋 I know you’re thinking that you have an açaí place down the street - and that’s great too! Soooooooo many foods are naturally plant based! Like fruit. Just one thing, honey isn’t considered vegan so you might opt for agave on your bowl depending on your beliefs about bees.

Hands down my favorite place to get plant based meals ANY TIME OF DAY is VegeNation in Las Vegas. I would even venture to say that you should travel there just to try it. I’m not going to say EVERY meal knocks it out of the park - but 80-85% of the menu is phenomenal. I know because I ate there everyday on a weekend trip to Vegas and once on the way to our Airbnb adventure.

Let’s talk sushi. San Diego has a fantastic vegan sushi place on Convoy called The Yasai. If you know anything about San Diego, you know Convoy is where it’s at when it comes to great food. I’m hoping to find a comparable option to this sushi place soon.

I have a teetering view of my next recommendation. It's a chain with multiple locations in the US called Veggie Grill. In the past they had so many amazing choices that it was hard to decide what to order. But after COVID, somehow their options became so slim I was left with only one thing on the menu I enjoyed ordering. I’m hoping this will change with time or a different state.

This next one I’ve mentioned before, but our fav vegan spot we enjoyed many meals at in Denver was Watercourse foods. Complete lifesavers for our Thanksgiving spread as well.

Ok, now let’s talk Austin, and most importantly, Mexican food. Holy Guacamole! Mission Street Burrito has the tastiest breakfast burrito quite possibly in the world. This thing is 1.5 lbs of pure deliciousness.

If you’re in the mood for a burger, which I realize many restaurants offer a vegan option, BUT these places have variations that will make you feel like you're at Eureka burger.

First one is Nom Burgers which has the best breakfast sandwich you’ll ever have. Breakfast is the best meal ever by the way. Second is Next Level Burger which also serves vegan milkshakes. Shout out to Nada Moo!

I'll leave you with this note. Just about every vegan place typically copies the names of food from a traditional carnivore diet. The gap in our expectations of what it is, and what we expect it to be can easily sway how we feel about the quality of our order. So set your expectations high but also reasonably.

If you enjoyed this post please let me know. I can post more tips beyond going out to eat for any plant based eaters.

#travel #veganism #plantbased #vegan food #vegenation #vitality bowls #watercourse foods #the yasai #mission street burrito #next level burger #veggie grill #native foods #austin

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derangedhyena-zoids · 3 years

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So, random headcanon blather time mainly re: Zero, One, and zoidian apocalypse bullshit since I want to note things while I’m thinking about them:

One really hasn’t changed much since I made him up. In fact he actually seeded an entire ... idk what to call it, line of personal tropes? It’s complicated.

But yhea. He’s basically the same. One is basically amoral, and views things through an extremely animalistic lens. Very short-term-goals oriented, doesn’t really think much in the long term - not because he can’t, but because he doesn’t see the point. By this same token he’s indifferent to the concept(s) of being worshiped (or not) - if it works to his advantage, cool, if not, whatever. Just don’t mess with him and he won’t care. He’s hopelessly devoted to Vega, and despite being brought into existence by the power of the Zoid Eve, fails to believe in it as a deity. He has basically no patience and very little sense of humor; what little he does have is, as one might expect, fairly morbid and dark. He thinks highly of himself and has a lot of pride, though it’s all rooted in a realistic assessment of his abilities so... can you blame him? It’s also difficult to tell because he doesn’t act prideful, in fact he doesn’t act like much at all. Most times you’d wonder if he was even listening because he doesn’t react or emote much, visibly. If he does, it’s usually anger. He has a hard time understanding nuance and lacks empathy.

Zero, however, has changed. Quite a lot.

For one, Zero’s way more of a dick now. (pre-KYH he was also WAY more of a dick because he, very literally, felt entitled to be worshiped as a god.) And while he’s extremely inclined to help people, he’s not selfless. (also, I don’t know how many people acknowledged this at the end of the No Future comic, but Zero straight-up was abandoning Zeke.) Unlike One, he has a lot of patience, and is not easily frustrated. And also unlike One, he tends to think of things on a longer timeline, though given his and the Liger’s screwed-up memory, this can be Weird. He likes to nap a lot because frankly he’s tired of the world’s bullshit. Part of the reason Bit’s having such a time in Echo with the flashbacks is because Zero’s memory is incredibly damaged, as was the Liger’s. As Zero heals/regenerates after the initial reformation in K&G, he’s regaining some of his memories because he has the ‘resources’ available to spread out and sort through things out a little better. Unfortunately those ‘resources’ are Bit. But by this same token they’re incredibly bonded, as they both are to the Liger. Historically speaking, both Zero and One were taken in by their respective “main groups” after the battle at Eveopolis. The split Death Scorpion and Zero were eventually able to defeat the Death Saurer, and Zero was then able to deal with the squabbling Scorpions. Zero was still standing at the end of all this, and was hailed as a hero. He was regarded as a leader and a savior after this, expected to help the survivors. One was out of the fight shortly after being fucked up by Zero, just as the Scorpion had initially been split. The group that saw One as the hero here were mortified to see him cast aside, and after all was said and done and they fled the city, they brought One with them. The damage that the Death Saurer had managed to do in its blithering rage was basically world-ending, though. As mentioned prior a lot of the “goo” worldwide was dried up initially or dried up shortly thereafter, severely restricting breeding grounds for Organoids and Zoids alike. A lot of the water, both surface and atmosphere, was evaporated as well, fucking up weather, temperature, soil, you name it.

(It’s STILL fucked up, albeit settled into a ‘new normal.’) The sun got blotted out, and water was scarce. Most vegetation died. This really sucked for the uh, basically-vegan Zoidians. Under the extreme conditions the Zoids and Organoids couldn’t produce anything extra to help, either.

Between air becoming unbreathable in places (from toxic metals being vaporized by heat from chain-reactions set off by the DSaurer) and the basics for survival going away, Zoids, Zoidians and Organoids alike started to die off en masse. Though the Zoids and Organoids were better able to withstand the poor conditions, they desperately tried to help their partners. As Zoidians died and Organoids panicked, feral behavior started to set in and infighting started, often destroying what remained of many groups. Tech wasn’t equal across various Zoidian nations and cultures. Some had the capsules (or similar) figured out and in place for emergencies. Some didn’t. After it was determined there weren’t any known habitable places left, those with knowledge of these capsules had started directing people to go to the locations with them. Decent groups would pick up other ailing groups if they found them and urge them to come with them. Less decent groups... well... The group that had taken One with them (surprise, Hiltz’s group) were not immune to the issues and panic setting in as everything around them started to fail. They went hard after other groups for their resources, and had no issue with slaughtering whole caravans to take their ever-dwindling supplies and eat their Zoids and Organoids. (pls note that they were already crossing ten tons of lines by doing the latter, it was almost universally considered taboo to kill Organoids except in self-defense, a longstanding rule because everyone had Organoids, and nobody wanted to deal with the consequences of losing theirs. Hiltz’s group started *targeting* the Organoids in the caravans specifically, which - after they’d killed just a few, the victim group would be in such panicked disarray it’d be easy to pick apart.) It was the Organoids who started eating the Zoidians who’d been killed, as the group’s own Zoids were thin on resources and symbiosis became impossible. One, throughout all this, was provided sufficient food to recover, and when he awoke was faced with a desperate, violent lot that pleaded for his help.

One was already fucked up at this point, but hadn’t lost much coherence yet; he was basically like “survival of the fittest, lol. I’m sure you can figure it out” ....which they basically took as permission to become outright cannibals. Anytime anyone showed signs of failing health/weakness, they were swarmed and torn apart by the group. So what basically started happening is folks masking issues to the point of collapse, at which point they... well, were still ripped apart. They also had their own capsule tech and likewise were headed to their major sites for it, albeit with great difficulty. There were several smaller sites on the way, and some especially fit survivors were placed in these, the idea being that they’d be more likely to survive in smaller groups later when they re-awoke. One was preserved along with a fair portion of (this traveling segment of) Hiltz’s group; when One’s capsule is later found and brought in by Prozen’s crews, Hiltz remembered this and finally had some hope that more Zoidians had been found. But they hadn’t been - they were all long-dead. That’s the literal point at which Hiltz lost almost all hope. Then while in such a state he basically got told off by One, which is very literally what gave him the idea he was going to go figure out the Death Saurer and Become A God and Save Zi all on his fucking own, because, well, that’s what you super reasonably do when told off by a minor deity, right? RIGHT?

(Everything in the ocean was largely okay from The Apocalypse. Zoids and Organoids who tried to carry on and function in shallower seawater were preyed upon intensely (and unable to, you know, survive doing this), because the competition for oceanic resources had skyrocketed and things had become a bit fucked up. Ultimately in NC0 times, what I’m saying is that the ocean is literally filled with giant, wild nightmare leviathan horrors and everyone who knows what’s out there just LEAVES THAT SHIT ALONE. Most people have no idea at all though, as the sea life in the shallower areas around Europa is pretty tame. HELL PLANET HELL PLANET

#headcanon #blah blah blah

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joetatoeheads · 5 years

Note

Would you think of doing one with Jeff and reader being in a d/s relationship, but generally dating?? Like not just smut but their love ? 💋💋♥️

Word Count: 1.8K

Warnings: Some D/s mentions,

Masterlist

Some couples did a 24/7 Dom/sub relationship. Others did it for a weekend. Jeff and Y/N were somewhere in the middle. Their relationship was unique from the very beginning. They first met through Matt who was helping Y/N move from Texas. Matt and Y/N tried to be a thing but it failed miserably and the pair found themselves better as friends.

Then Jeff thought she was funny and pretty. Once he started to hang out with her the feelings started soon after. The dating started soon after and when they were cuddled on the couch Jeff accidentally pulled her hair when he was running his finger through her hair and Y/N let out this moan. At first, Jeff didn’t make much of it but when he decided to try it again, she let out the same little moan.

In the middle of sex one day, Jeff grabbed the ends of her hair and pulled slightly. It was then both realize that Y/N had much to explore. The couple played around more before deciding a Dom/sub relationship was something they wanted. It wouldn’t be every day, all day or just a weekend thing, it was a bedroom thing. While Y/N already had a submissive personality, she had moments where she refused to be a submissive especially in regards to Jeff’s safety.

There weren’t many nights of difficult scenes but Jeff provided much aftercare no matter the situation. Whenever Y/N was tied, Jeff would take off handcuffs or restraints and come with lotion to massage her wrists and ankles. If there was a spreader involved than Jeff gave extra attention. The nights of spankings either for punishment or pleasure, Jeff spent almost an hour massaging and kissing the bruised or red bottom of Y/N.

Jeff cared for his little submissive more than anything in the world. He cared for her as much as he cared for his family and for Jeff, saying that was a big deal. If Jeff had taken on a sadist persona and degraded his sub during sex he often worried about Y/N dropping deep into subspace. So Jeff would let her come down from her high and wrap her in a blanket just to hold her and tell her that she was the most beautiful woman in the world and an amazing submissive. It worked and Jeff was pleased with himself.

There were few times that Y/N had disappointed Jeff and their bedrooms activities spilled into their real life. When Y/N forgot to call Jeff sir multiple times as she orgasmed one night, Jeff made her wear a pair of panties with a vibrator in them. He would turn it on whenever the two were around their friends in public. Her cheeks would get rosy, her breathe would become uneven, and she would curl her hands into a fist as she got ready to orgasm. But it never came, Jeff refused to let her cum for a week after that as her punishment.

Another time, Jeff left to New York for a couple of days and found out that Y/N had used a vibrator to get herself off knowing Jeff would only be gone a few days. Her punishment wasn’t a sexual one, instead, she wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone for a whole day. As a social person and a good friend to the rest of the vlog squad, that punishment proved more mental than anything. They had all gone to Vegas for one of David’s spur of the moment vlogs for content and Y/N remained silence the whole time. It was humiliating and unsetting that despite everyone talking and having fun around her, she couldn’t enjoy it as well.

But Jeff had always been a giving type. While his aftercare was many times calm, there were other times it was euphoric. After hours of orgasm denial, Jeff’s aftercare was eating out Y/N for hours after that. She had lost count of the orgasms and by the time things were ending she was overly sensitive so Jeff added over simulation to the list of things Y/N would do for him. She would whine and push away his head hoping that she wouldn’t feel the wonderful pain building up in her stomach. But when she pushed him away, Jeff would grab her hips and hold her against the bed as she screamed his name.

Dom’s received aftercare too. When Jeff’s would spend so much time eating her pussy, Y/N would kiss and massage his jaw after that. She would tell him how amazing it felt to feel his cock in her or hear him call her his little cum slut. The whole point of being in a Dom/sub relationship for Jeff and Y/N was to show each other how much they valued and loved each other.

Their relationship was still for the most part normal. They enjoyed double dates with Heath and Mariah; they hung out with the same group of amazing people. Jeff and Y/N would go out on dates and Jeff would make it his mission to give her a plastic rose for every date they had. The rose was a classic but the idea to choose a plastic one, was so that Y/N could collect them all. The first time anyone had seen them was one when Carly, Erin, Mariah, Suzy, and Corinna were helping her choose an outfit for their two-year anniversary.

“I was thinking red because Jeff loves me in red but then I was thinking maybe white- “

“What is this?!” asked Corinna.

“Oh my god!” yelled Carly and Erin almost simultaneously.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Your room is covered in rose!” yelled Corinna.

“Why do you have so many fake roses?” asked Suzy.

“Jeff.”

“Okay that is not a full explanation,” argued Erin.

“Why does he give you fake roses?”

“Every rose is a date or something special. He wanted me to sort of collect them,” answered Y/N.

“There has to be hundreds!” Corinna was confused but also excited.

“310 actually.”

“Those cannot be all dates.”

“Most of them yeah. Although I think like one-third of them are just sex stuff,” laughed Y/N.

“Okay now that sounds about right. I always knew you two were kinky,” joked Corinna.

It didn’t take long for everyone to find out what type of boyfriend Jeff was. Joe would make jokes about it, David loved teasing him about it in the vlogs, and Todd and Matt would use it as a defense anytime Jeff was obnoxious to them. The girls would defend Jeff finding him a good boyfriend for Y/N.

David, Zane, and Matt not knowing much about their bedroom activities accidentally walked in on them having sex in the living room. It called for a very awkward conversation explaining a Dom/sub relationship and how they could not tease Y/N about it. Of course, the one day she chose to have morning sex in the kitchen, the guys would walk in on them with her back on the counter and her legs up in the air as Jeff pounded into her. It was just her luck, but also on the fault of them having a really close relationship with the entire group.

David and Matt were traumatized about the whole situation. David was innocent compared to Jeff in those matters and Matt found it awkward since he and Y/N almost dated. Part of being with Jeff was also sort of being with everyone else in the group. Of course once Jonah heard about it incident he couldn’t help but make disgusting jokes that Jeff almost punched him in the face.

“Y/N?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you asleep?”

“Nope.”

“I heard you snoring.”

“I don’t snore,” argued Y/N as she buried her face into Jeff’s neck.

“You’re sleeping on me again.”

“I just want to be with you.”

“Aftercare?” asked Jeff.

“A little.”

Sometimes Y/N reaction to scenes came days after. Depending on what they did, Y/N would cuddle Jeff for hours after having sex then hop in the shower together or she would wait a few days and be clingy. She wouldn’t let Jeff leave the bed too long or she would always have to be holding his hand in public. Y/N made any excuse to hug Jeff and sit on his lap more than normal because she wanted to feel his touch.

Around friends, Jeff’s hand would sneak underneath her sweater or t-shirt and rub her back so she would stay seated or calm. When Jeff was unsure or anxious Y/N would place her hand on his right thigh to stop him from taping his foot at the most random times. It was more than a relationship or a partnership, what Y/N and Jeff had was more unique than that. To enter a Dom/sub relationship in the first part was a huge deal. Many argue that a sub has more power in the relationship than the Dom was, in Jeff and Y/N’s case they weren’t wrong. Jeff took pleasure out of giving Y/N pleasure and it worked for them.

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to make a pizza.”

“That dough is… different,” smiled Jeff.

“Well I didn’t say it was going to look pretty.”

“Sweetheart, anything you make is pretty.”

“Sure but I’m not making you one.”

“What? Why?”

“I’m trying a vegan diet so this pizza is vegan.”

“You? Vegan? It’s the tenth time you’re doing this.”

“Actually, seventh and I think I can do it this time.”

“You hate vegan food. You always end up cranky because you can’t have dairy and you want kisses all the time.”

“I do not!”

“Whenever you can cranky you like to sit on my lap and make me kiss your neck,” explained Jeff.

“I do not make you do anything!”

“Neck kisses are the only thing that makes you less cranky.”

“That’s not true. I also like you sucking my tits,” laughed Y/N.

“And that usually ends with my face between your thighs.”

“I don’t see a problem with that,” smiled Y/N.

They both loved the teasing. It made up a majority of their relationship. Jeff would whisper dirty things in Y/N’s ear hoping to make her desperate and whiny. So when they got home, to Jeff’s place, she would be begging from him. Y/N would tease Jeff with the little hand movements and a shy smile.

“I’m tired.”

“After that shit you pulled at the restaurant? You’re tired?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“Do you want to cuddle?”

“No.”

“No?” asked Jeff a bit hurt.

“I’m just annoyed now.”

“Do you think you’re getting sick?”

“Probably? I don’t know what’s wrong.”

“I’m going to make you some tea. Go put on some sweats or something.”

Jeff made Y/N’s favorite tea was green tea so Jeff made it a point to stock up on the little packets to make her comfortable. While she was cuddled on their bed Jeff set everything down and made sure she was comfortable.

#jeff wittek fanfiction #jeff wittek imagine #jeff wittek x reader #vlog squad imagine

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nataliedanovelist · 4 years

Text

GF + OH - Fallen Owls pt.1

Summary: What happens when the milf of The Owl House meets the dilf of Gravity Falls? Find out in this multi-chapter crossover fic.

pt.2

~~~~~~~~~~

Episode Placement:

GF = after finale (S3?) OH = between S1E5 and E6 It was late, passed the gremlins’ bedtime, but it was summer, meaning the term “bedtime” had very little meaning unless Stan was tired and needed to make the kids quiet. But as of right now he was content sitting in his old armchair, boxers and undershirt and slippers and all, munching on popcorn with his family, sitting around telling stories. Stan and his twin brother, Ford, had just finished telling Dipper and Mabel more about the sirens they had faced a few months ago. While sailing around the world was a dream come true, it was nice to take a break to spend the summer with the niblings.

Dipper, having just heard how Stan had been charmed by the sirens’ song, chuckled and asked, “So, did you ever have any luck finding ‘babes’?” Stan rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. “Nah, but there’s always next year.” “Yeah, don’t worry about it, Grunkle Stan.” Mabel said as she popped some popcorn into her mouth. “You’ll find some pretty girl that is everything you deserve!” Stan, turning red, waved the subject away. “Thanks, sweetie, but it’s fine.” Ford, sitting on the dino-skull, elbowed him lightly and teased, “He’s still heartbroken over Carla McCorckle.” Mabel blew a raspberry. “If I ever find her I’m gonna give her a left-hook and break her nose!” Stan laughed and ruffled her hair. “That’s not necessary, kid. I’m over her.” “And it only took you forty years.” Ford added, earning him a punch on the shoulder. “I’ll have you know I’ve been with plenty of gals after Carla!” Stan quipped. “Heck, I was married once when I was traveling the country!” “Wait, what?!” The whole room gasped at the same time. Ford blinked like a confused owl. “I… I didn’t know that.” “Me, neither.” Mabel said and leaned on Stan’s knee. Dipper, meanwhile, was silent, a memory coming to mind. “Truth is I’ve been divorced once and slapped more times than I can remember.” “What happened? GASP! Do I have a secret Graunty you never told me about?!” Stan barked a laugh. “Hah! No, sorry pumpkin. I was actually married for less than a day. Vegan situation. We reached for the same slot machine handle and it was love at first sight. Marilyn. Had hair like a airline stordis and a neon pink shirt that said ‘Over thirty and very flirty’. Man I was, I was putty in her hands.” Stan said lightly, recalling the most romantic evening he ever had. “You should’ve seen the way she threw dice. One time right at my head. Turns out she only married me to distract me while she stole my car and my winnings. I guess her name was fake and, hair was fake. But ya know, the love was real.” Stan added with a casual shrug. “She was really the one that got away. Like, literally, it was a proper get away. She was chased by cop cars for a mile out of Vegas before ducking out of a door and into a canyon and making off with my loot. Sometimes I still think of her.” The old conman admitted. “That pale bingo hall skin. That one weirdly sharp tooth.” Stan’s face dropped at the sight of his family and he quickly said, “Sorry, I’m getting nostalgic.” “More like love-sick.” Dipper teased. “AW!” Mabel squealed. “That’s so sweet! Maybe you’ll find her one day!” Stan laughed and shook his head. “I doubt it, sweetie, but hey. Who needs stealing babes when I’ve got you three, right?” Mabel yawned and stretched her arms over her head. Ford chuckled and stood up, popping his back. “I think you two should head to bed. It’s getting late and we’re going camping tomorrow, remember?” Mabel gasped happily and stood. “You’re right!” She hugged both her uncles and wished them goodnight and then walked with her brother up the stairs for the attic, then Ford left to go finish packing, leaving Stan alone. He leaned on his knuckles, elbow on his armchair, and he remembered Marilyn. ~~~~~~~~~~ Mabel was grinning from ear to ear as she skipped ahead on the trail in the woods. “Finally, a real family camping trip!” Grunkle Ford, Dipper, and Grunkle Stan were right behind her, the Pines family heading back to the Mystery Shack after a fun night sleeping under the stars around a campfire. They were all smiling and happy to be reunited for the summer. While some things drastically changed and some things hardly changed at all, the Pines in appearance changed a little since Dipper and Mabel and turned thirteen. Mabel had always been nothing but smiles in the past, but if it was even possible she grinned even more now, proud to show off her braces-free white teeth. She still sported amazing sweaters with colorful headbands and skirts, today wearing a brown skirt and a yellow headband with a light-brown sweater with an owl on it, claiming she wanted to match the woods and her Grunkle Ford; he only proved her point when he blushed. Dipper and Wendy switched hats again when they saw each other when the twins came off the bus, but over his orange t-shirt he wore a green flannel unbuttoned and he matched it with blue jeans. No longer out in the freezing Arctic, Stan left behind his long coat, but he kept his white t-shirt, dark pants, red beanie, and water-proof boots for the hiking trip. Ford, the easily cold twin, still wore red turtleneck and dark pants and boots, but his smile was much more genuine and the crack in his glasses was gone. Grunkle Ford patted his niece’s shoulder. “It is nice to have some quality family bonding.” “Next time I say we go fishing.” Stan injected. “Not as many creepy spider-fires or whatever.” “Scampfires.” “I still say whatever.” Dipper chuckled and continued to sketch in his pinetree journal, shading in trees of his drawing of the woods. But he was pulled from his pleasant thoughts by his great-uncle. “Seriously, kid, you’re gonna walk into a tree and then I’m gonna laugh. You need to get your head outta book and see the rest of the world.” “Grunkle Stan, how do you think people shared the world back in your day? You know, when dinosaurs roamed the Earth?” Dipper quipped. “Oh, ho! Wise guy, huh?” Stan wrapped an arm around his neck and rubbed his knuckles on the top of his head. “Alright, Poindexter Jr…” “No! No nuggies!” “Yes nuggies!” “Ford!” Dipper laughed, calling for backup. Mabel, meanwhile, was slowly being pulled away mentally from the touching scene of guys being dudes as the internet would have called it. Distracting her, a tiny brown owl with cute round eyes was hopping. Not just hopping, appearing from behind one oak tree to the neck, but hopping with a sack clamped by the beak. Mabel watched it with wide eyes, hoping for another look, and the second glance she got of it was so brief she didn’t know how much faith she should have in her eyes, but it looked like that sack had things like a Cubic Cube, a newspaper, a floppy disk, a basketball, and other items that could be classified as junk. Mabel decided not to wait for another glance at the owl and to go look at it for herself. Mabel wandered off the path animals had made and moved in between trees and bushes quietly. Her brown eyes eventually landed on the little owl and she followed it; the clattering of the owl or it’s determination to finish it’s job must have been the reason why it didn’t hear Mabel and try to hide or lose her. The young Pines lady watched, walking farther and farther away from her family, and the owl hopped behind a tree and never emerged. Mabel smiled, thinking she was about to find an owl’s nest in the tree or a stash of human things by the tree’s roots, but when she turned to look behind the tree, she gasped to find a doorway that glowed white. Mabel looked around her for anyone that might have an answer or for any clue as to why this doorway was here, but she was alone. Gravity Falls certainly was where this sort of thing might happen, but that did not guarantee that this was safe. Maybe she should have the guys look at this thing. Mabel turned around, her back to the doorway, to leave, but she saw something above her and took in a sharp breath. Stan had Dipper pinned on the grass now, both of them laughing, with Ford shaking his head and scolding lightly. “Stanley, that’s enough.” “Don’t worry, Grunkle Ford, I promise not to break such an old man.” Dipper teased as he lightly fought back, “Old man?!” Stan repeated in pretend offense. They were interrupted by a blood curdling scream that made their hearts drop. Stan immediately got off of his nephew and stared ahead, terrified. “Mabel…” And he ran for the direction he heard the scream with Ford and Dipper at his heels. Mabel pulled her grappling hook out of her hiking-backpack and tried to calm down, but it was hard to with the dangerous anomaly liking it’s chops at the sight of her. It was like a gray lizard, but ten feet long, including the tail, and only on it’s four legs it was seven feet tall. It’s eyes were red and narrow and cold, and it had long sharp claws like a dragon’s and a long snout like a crocodile. Mabel shot her grappling hook at the monster and it hit it on the snout, tossing its head back. The lizard hissed but did not back down. It advanced, getting closer to Mabel, and she wanted to back away, but she was careful not to touch the spooky doorway. Stan saw the scene first, appearing out of the corner of Mabel’s eye. “Mabel!” “Grunkle Stan, what do I do?!” She asked, her eyes glued to the giant lizard. Ford and Dipper caught up. The younger moved to jump between his sister and the monster, but Ford stopped him with a firm six-fingered hand. “No! Listen to me, Mabel. That thing is called a Stone-Reptilian. They're excellent at camouflaging into mountains and can hang onto a one-hundred-and-eighty degree wall for hours, waiting for its prey. It actually has two tongues: one for licking its eyes since it doesn't have eyelids, and one for paralyzing it’s dinner and dragging the meal into its mouth.” “So what do I do?!” Mabel begged, shaking a little at the idea of being paralyzed and then eaten alive. “Mabel, stay calm, it’s alright.” Ford soothed with a voice as soft as silk. “Stone-Reptilians have excellent eyesight, but they’re deaf. Notice how it’s isn’t reacting to us. Now, I want you to…” The Stone-Reptilian suddenly whipped out it’s long, thorn-covered tongue to paralyze Mabel, but she was too quick and leaped through the doorway to survive. As she did, it disappeared, and the Pines men were left to scream and then fight for their own lives. ~~~~~~~~~~ “Whoops, can’t have another stowaway, can I?” A voice said, and then before Mabel knew it, her way back home was gone. She observed her new surroundings. Misfit things like a refrigerator, a grandfather clock, an old mattress, and cardboard boxes full of items cluttered what looked like a big tent, judging by the cloth walls and such. Mabel smiled with wonder at the things. “Wow. What a collection.” She whispered. Her eyes landed on a small glass ballerina on top of a music box. She turned the ballerina around with a finger to catch a few music notes. Mabel smiled, but was once again distracted. “Right, let’s see here… Nope. Garbage. Garbage. Another one of these? Oh, well. Good thing the potions have been selling. I should really thank Luz for helping me take out that competitor. Or not.” Mabel covered her mouth with both hands to keep from snorting; that sounded like something her Grunkle Stan would say. Her heart sagged a little and she turned to look back at where the magical doorway once was. Despite what he might pretend, Mabel knew Stan would be really worried about her. She needed to find a way back home. She crawled on her hands and knees out from under the tent and then got up to explore. “Okay, let’s see…” Mabel looked around to find herself outside in the open air. She raised an eyebrow. “The… Crawlspace? I thought it was underground? Maybe there’s more to it! Won’t Grunkle Ford be surprised!” Mabel cheered and looked around for anything familiar, but the longer she looked, the more she realized nothing was like back in Gravity Falls. She stood at the edge of a cliff, overlooking an odd city of some kind. Giant monster hands with no body stood like trees. Smoke rose from chimneys of medieval-looking houses. A small herd of cat-sized dragons flocked by the clouds. A mammoth roared like a lion and then walked into the ocean. Something resembling an orange nun was selling bags of oozing red stuff to tiny red monsters with teeth and fangs for a face. People were riding a giant caterpillar from inside its mouth and then kissing it for a toll. Mabel’s heart was racing from excitement and fear. Nothing here was familiar, but she was familiar with the unfamiliar. She grasped the straps of her backpack and took a deep breath. “Okay, Mabel, you’ve obviously discovered another rift and came to another dimension. Just remember what your grunkles taught you. Don’t touch this dimension's version of yourself or everything will explode. I just gotta live long enough for them to find me. Easy.” Her stomach suddenly growled. Mabel clenched her stomach on reflex, but then remembered her bag of marshmallows, pulled them out, and began to munch on her fluffy sugar pillows. She turned around and walked away from the tent she had left, saw she was in some sort of market, and walked down the street to explore calmly. ~~~~~~~~~~ “And remember to apply it twice a day for the best results.” Luz said friendly to a blue monster made out of goo as she handed her the small bag of dust and the customer closed the door on the human. Luz wiped her sweaty forehead with her wrist and groaned. “Man, it’s so hot today. Ready to head home, King? King?” She looked down to find that the king of demons had found the perfect spot on the porch to nap in the sunshine. Luz smiled, scratched his back, and scooped him up one-armed while her other hand carried the empty sack. “Eh?” King woke up, angry and cute. “Luz! I was having the perfect dream!” “About what?” “What could be more perfect than sleeping?!” “You were dreaming about sleeping?” Luz clarified with a confused smile. “Don’t you?” Luz snorted a laugh and walked through Bonesburrow. Compared to the rest of the Boiling Isles, the apprentice had learned that this was the quietest neck of the woods. King’s nose caught a delightful scent, but the demon was unsure if he should believe it. He sat up in Luz’s arm and smelled the air. “What is it?” Luz asked. “Hm, it’s sweet. Really sweet.” King commented and shivered. “Like, really sweet. So sweet it’ll put anyone in a sugar-induced coma.” “Well, why don’t we just go home and we can have some of Eda’s strawberry jelly instead.” Luz suggested as they turned a corner. She immediately saw the one really really weird thing in the Boiling Isles, apart from her. Another human. After being away from home for about three weeks, Luz didn’t think she would be so happy to see another human girl or see human food that wasn’t red, but here she was, eyes sparkling with happy tears over the sight. Mabel’s eye eventually landed on Luz and the two stared at each other, a good twenty feet away from each other. After a few moments, however, they both shouted, “ANOTHER HUMAN!” And ran towards each other, King clinging onto Luz’s arms in order not to fall. “Wait,” The brunette said and looked worried. “Is this your first time seeing another human here? How long have you been trapped here?!” She apparently had drawn the conclusion that there was no way out of this place. “Oh, no,” The Latino smiled and shook her head. “I’m not trapped here; I can leave whenever I want, I just choose not to.” “Oh. Cool! Hi! I’m Mabel!” “Hi, Mabel.” Luz greeted. “I’m Luz! So… how did you get here?” Mabel’s face dropped a little and she looked around. “You know, I’m not really sure. One minute I was camping with my family and the next I’m falling through a door that disappears and takes me here.” Luz giggled and shook her head. “You must have fallen through Eda’s door. Don’t worry, I can get you back home.” “You can?!” Mabel hugged her tightly, squishing King in between the two girls. “ThankyouthankyouTHANKYOU!” Luz, who was quite the hugger but lived with two hug-haters, grinned and relished in the hug, until a high-voice yelled, “AH! What is with you humans and this tight holding ritual?!” Mabel’s eyes got wide and she jumped away, looking around wildly; that voice sounded too familiar for comfort, but when she saw the king of demons, she gasped with a huge grin and shining eyes. “OH MY GOSH! How cute!!!” She squealed. “Thanks.” Luz giggled and rubbed his belly. “This is the King of Demons.” “This little bundle of joy?” Mabel asked, happily smoothing over his skull and scratching his back. “That’s what I said!” “Hey, hey, easy with the merchandise!” King complained. “What makes you think you can… oh! Oh! Right there, yup, right there.” Mabel had found the right scratching spot, just between his shoulder-blades, and King relaxed in Luz’s arms, almost asleep he was so comfortable. Mabel giggled and asked, “So, how can you get me back to my family?” Luz gave it a moment’s thought and said, “Well, I guess we could take you to Eda and have her send you home, but she’ll be going home soon and it’s kinda…” The girls screamed as a huge guard jumped in front of them. He glared down at the humans and said, “Human previously associated with Eda the Owl Lady, you’re hereby under arrest!” “Not today, sucka!” Luz yelled, threw down one of Eda’s smoke bombs, and grabbed Mabel’s wrist. “Come on! I know where to go!” “Crazy monsters, criminals, smoke bombs, demons… I LOVE IT HERE!” Mabel cheered as she was fleeing with her new friends. ~~~~~~~~~~ Stan huffed, catching his breath, with his hands on his knees. Ford helped Dipper up cautiously, scanning him over for broken bones from when the monster swung his tail at the boy and slammed him against a tree, but apart from being shaken up, he was fine. Now that the Stone-Reptilian was gone, the Pines men were free to worry about the most important thing in their whole world. “MABEL?!” Stan screamed and looked around wildly for the rift that took her away. “MABEL! MABEL, SWEETIE!” “Mabel!” Ford called out. “Mabel, can you hear us?!” “MABEL! MABEL!” Stan screamed and ignored his stinging eyes. Dipper’s own brown eyes were aching, too, but he refused to be seen as weak and he powered through. “Did… did that thing… g-g-get her?” “No.” Ford said firmly. “I saw it. She fell through… some sort of door, or a rift.” “A-A door?” “It was rectangular like one, but it was hard to tell.” “The Crawlspace!” Dipper gasped and slapped his forehead. “Don’t the entrances change randomly through Gravity Falls? What if she fell through and is down at the black market?” “What, you mean she’s probably surrounded by dangerous monsters in some freaky market?” Stan asked. “It’s a likely possibility.” Ford speculated, holding his cleft chin. “Scour the area. If it was an entrance to the Crawlspace, one will show up again soon.” The three men split up, relatively close, and searched for an anomaly. Maybe a hole in a tree or in the ground, what might have been passed as a bird’s nest or a groundhog’s home could actually be an entrance. Stan was checking some bushes when he thought he heard a strange noise and he looked ahead. A rectangular white light appeared on an oak tree and soon an owl with an empty sack in its beak hopped out. Stan gasped and thought that this was the doorway that took his little girl. Ford saw his twin run out of the corner of his eye and then disappear through the hole. “Stanley, wait!” He called and ran towards him, disappearing, too. Then the doorway was gone. Dipper looked around nervously. “Hello? Guys?” He paused, letting it sink in that, once again, he was alone. “I swear if she’s at MAB3L again…” ~~~~~~~~~~ Stan had stopped. Ford then accidently ran into him and they both fell forward. “Sixer, get off!” “Shh!” Ford slapped a polydactyl hand over his brother’s mouth, which made him grumble, but before Stan could lick his hand in response, he heard what Ford was hearing. “I’ll give you fifty snails for the whole lot.” A laugh-filled snort followed. “It’s seventy-five, kid. Take it or leave it.” That voice… something was familiar about that laugh. There was grumbling and what sounded like items being collected. Stan and Ford exchanged looks and slowly got up. After looking around the tent, they peered out of the crack in the curtains to see an odd market. They awed at the sight of dozens of weird creatures. One looked like a turquoise hairless-cat. One looked like a pig with green eyes and it breathed fire on a piece of meat on a stick to cook it for a snack. A kid with pointy ears dropped a basket full of eyeballs and scrambled to pick them up. Ford grinned excitedly like a dork while Stan winced at the sight of an ice-cream eating a customer. Stan glanced to his left and he had to hold his breath to keep from gasping and blowing their cover. Wearing a tight-fitted, torn maroon dress and matching boots, gold on her chest and ears and fingers and a sharp tooth, her eyes sparkling like gold coins, a woman with big gray hair and pointy ears leaned against a table full human things and flicked through a Gold Chains for Old Men magazine with a skeptical look on her face. Stan was nearly as pale as she was when she snorted another laugh and flipped a page. “Hah! Not a bad read. Better than that kindling Luz keeps around.” She mumbled and made herself comfortable in her chair, waiting for another customer, one leg crossed over the other and she lightly kicked it as she read. Stan swallowed. There was no way. No possible way… then again, given everything weird that’s happened to him, from freaky portal, to demon triangles, to gnomes and unicorns and sirens and krakens, even to a full-blown Weirdmageddon, should he really be all that surprised that faith would bite him in the butt like this? Ford glanced down at his twin and found he could read him like an open book. “Stanley…” He hissed. The lady straightened in her seat and looked up from the magazine, listening. Now it was Stan’s turn to cover Ford’s mouth. They were still, waiting for the ady to find them, but she shrugged casually and continued to read. The men backed away, out of sight, and were each on one knee, facing each other, as they whispered. “Sixer, where the heck are we? The Crawlspace?” “I’m not sure.” Ford hissed. “I have never seen these types of anomalies before. I suppose it’s possible they hide here during the day and I had never seen them at night, but… this place feels off. To summarize, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.” “Fine, but when what do we do about Mabel?” “Our objection is still the same. Let’s just keep a low profile and try to find her.” The twins froze when the curtain was thrown open and the lady stood before them. She immediately sneered down at them. “If you amateur pickpockets think you can…” But then she stopped, for several reasons. One: these creatures were clearly old, about her age, and so unless they had a sudden career change, they were not amateurs. Two: as a human expert and a teacher and hostess of a human, she instantly recognized these two big-eared creatures as humans. Three: something about the one in the white shirt and red hat was very familiar. “No… way…” She narrowed her golden eyes. Stan was now confident that his memory wasn’t flawed; the way she reacted to seeing him, recognizing him, confirmed that he knew her. Before he could do anything, she grabbed each twin by the ear and pinched; they were at her mercy and receiving flashbacks from when their mother was angry with them. “You two got some explaining to do.” The lady sneered. “Gah! Let us go, crazy old bat!” Stan barked as she dragged them out from the tent and made them sit on barrels for stools. “Who are you calling old, human?” The lady sneered and crossed her arms over her chest. “Just tell me what you think you’re doing here.” “Begging your pardon on our introduction,” Ford said coldly, but then softened as he and his brother did have an important mission. “But our grandniece is missing. We believe she came through here.” And he pulled out a picture of Mabel hugging a stuffed-penguin from his wallet and showed it to her. The lady peered down at the photo and said, “Sorry, old-timers, I haven’t seen anyone like that around here.” “Now, how can we trust you, Marilyn.” Stan sneered, crossing his arms over his chest. Ford’s eyes widened as he pocketed his picture. He was rendered speechless for a moment. “Oh, like you’re one to talk about honesty, Stan.” She deride. “You two know each other?!” Ford gasped, looking from his brother to the stranger rapidly like a game of tennis. “She’s your ex-wife?!” The lady snorted a laugh and sighed happily. “Ah, good times, huh?” “Not really.” Stan sneered and stood. “You still owe me five hundred bucks!” “At least you got your car back, Grumpy.” The lady teased and patted his cheek; he swatted her hand away in response and growled like an angry pitbull. “If you want my help finding your girl then play nice.” “So, you honestly didn’t see her.” Stan repeated with a raised eyebrow. “Hey, I may be a conwoman, a pickpocket, and the most powerful witch you’ll ever meet, but I wouldn’t lie if it was gonna endanger some kid.” The lady snapped her fingers and all of the human collectibles floated and gathered into a green cloth, tied up like a hobo’s luggage. She pulled out a staff and put the bag through it, making it easy to carry. Eda whistled and the little owl flew to her and landed on her staff and turned into wood. “Come along, humans, we’ll find your niece and get you two home.” Ford followed the lady and decided to be the “nice” one since Stan was obviously too salty to be one; someone had to be nice to the lady that was going to help them find Mabel. “Thank you, Marilyn.” “Oh, right. That’s not my real name…” “Knew it.” “... you’re a fool to give your real name to a casino in Vegas. It’s Edalyn, but just call me Eda. Or your worst nightmare.” “Whatever you say, toots.” Stan growled as they walked down the street. “So, Eda,” Ford cut in to try to cut the tension between the two. “What exactly is this place, and what are you?” Eda stopped suddenly and turned around, wearing a proud grin. She stabbed her staff on the ground with a small bang, making the owl come to life, the sack hanging by her fist, and she proclaimed, “I am known as the Owl Lady, the most powerful witch here on the Boiling Isles!” “A witch?” Stan laughed. “More like a b…” “I am a feared, respected, vigorous force to be reckoned with!” Eda went on and let go of the staff so it floated like a witch’s broomstick. “Come on, old-timers, let’s get a bird’s eye-view to find your girl.” They each grabbed the staff when Eda sat upon it and yelled with fear as she had them fly up in the air, leaving the old twins to dangle in the air. “GAAAAAAAH!” “EDA!” Stan yelled. “Put us down!” “That can be arranged.” Eda said cunningly and swooped down quickly. With the air drying Eda’s eyes and forming tears and the brother holding onto the staff (and each other) for dear life, all three were yelling, one with delight, two with fright. “STANLEY!” Ford shouted. “PLEASE try not to piss off your ex-wife!” Eda laughed and at the very last second, right before the men would crash into the ground, she flew them up into the sky. “Ah, don’t worry, I won’t let you two knuckleheads get hurt.” They flew softer and calmer above the Boiling Isles and the humans awed at the scene. In the carcass of a monster, by the sea, the Bones of the Isles sat snug in the midst of chaos. Eda floated to allow the men a moment to take in the scenery, smiling down at their round brown eyes. “It’s beautiful.” Ford admired. “Yup, not too shabby.” Eda commented casually. “It’s not much, but it’s home.” “We know what that’s like.” Stan muttered. “Speaking of which,” Eda said casually. “Where did you two say you were from?” “We didn’t. Gravity Falls, Oregon.” Ford answered, keeping an eye out for Mabel. “Oh, I’ve heard rumors about that place.” Eda said as she flew calmly over the town. “My door has a bad habit of appearing there way too often. I need more variety in my human collectibles.” “So, you steal our junk and try to sell it for a great price?” Stan asked; he sounded a little impressed. “That and I sell potions on the weekdays. When I’m not mentoring my student. Enough chit-chat, see your girl down there?” The men took a few more minutes to look, as well as Eda, but there was no sign of her. “No.” Ford’s voice dripped with concern. “Eda, what are the chances she was kidnapped or hurt?” “Oh, that probably didn’t happen to her.” The witch said calmly. “If she’s not safe she probably got eaten or taken by Warden Wrath.” “WHAT?!” “Relax, Sixer,” Stan said, confident in his pumpkin. “She’s our little fighter, she’ll be fine.” Eda snorted. “Sixer?” “It’s Stanford, actually.” His face was a little red over the fact that he couldn’t hide his six-fingered hands, too busy holding the magic staff to keep from falling. “Meh, I’ve seen weirder.” Eda looked like she truly didn’t care how many fingers he had; Ford appreciated that. “Well, I’ve got a great tracker at home.” The Owl Lady said and started to fly towards the red forest. “Why don’t we go pick him up and see if he can help us out. Got anything the girl held?” “Yes,” When the men landed on their feet and Eda hopped next to them, Ford pulled out his wallet again and took out a folded-up, hand-drawn picture of Stan and Ford on a boat, a gift from Mabel while they were apart that she had mailed to them. “Aw, that’s so cute.” The witch cooed. “Who knew all Pines men were putty in girls’ hands.” She laughed at her own joke and shook her head. “Ah, keep moving, boys.” Stan hurried to catch up and he walked next to Eda with narrow eyes, ignoring the way her odd golden fang sparkled, how her eyes gleamed with spunk, how she held herself up high with pride. “So, you’re gonna answer some questions for me…” “Maybe I will, maybe I won’t.” “If you’re a witch, what were you doing in Las Vegas?” “Hey, a witch’s gotta make some gold, too.” Eda shrugged as she smiled. “I haven’t exactly kept a clean record here so making a living takes a bit of extra effort, but it’s much for fun and unpredictable, the way life's supposed to be.” Stan raised an eyebrow at two things: the fact his ex was a criminal in this world too, and her philosophy. “I can respect that, seeing how I was there for the same reasons.” “I know.” Eda rolled her eyes teasingly. “You wouldn’t shut up about how you were gonna make it big and show the world what this big lug could do.” And she elbowed Stan, which he chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Heh. Yeah, what can I say, I’m a real loud-mouth. Say what’s on my mind.” “Hey, nothing wrong with being brutally honest to make up for lying, am I right?” Eda said with a shrug. “So, was your hair fake back then, or…” “No, no, it was real. I was really proud of my hair back in the day, flaming red and wild.” “Looks pretty good now. Love it, in fact. Big and bold, hard to miss.” “Hey, you aged pretty well yourself, handsome.” Ford smiled as he watched the exes tease and pick on each other. If a compliment was given, it dripped with sarcasm and there was no guarantee that it was sincere, but they must have seen a gleam in their eyes or felt a “vibe” that Ford didn’t experience, because the conversation progressed well as they walked through the forest. Ford was happy to see Stan get along fairly well with this woman and wondered if this would go exceptionally better than the whole McCorkle incident. They emerged from the woods and found a large house standing by some cliffs leading to an ocean. It was about as far from the seas as Pines Pawns was all those years ago. The house was big, maybe bigger than the Mystery Shack (probably not if counting the basement-floors) with a big stain-glass window that reminded Stan of a cat’s eye and Ford of Bill’s eye, but then they both individually remembered Eda’s title and realized it was probably representing an owl’s eye. A weather-vane with an owl sat on top of the house, a broken-down tower stood behind, and an owl’s head was on the door. The humans were startled, but they quickly recovered, again having experienced much weirder than a live owl-head on a door. “Girl knows how to keep a theme going.” Stan commented as they approached. “Oh, boy!” The owl on the door hooted. “More company! Maybe they wanna hear some of my stories!” “Not a chance, Hooty.” Eda quipped. “Is King still home? We need his help, and we might want Luz’s too while we’re at it.” “They’re both telling stories to that new human. The one with the pretty owl sweater.” “Wait, what?!” The three old people asked and Hooty swung open the door. Luz was holding King on her lap on the couch, sitting with Mabel as all three were laughing. Even King was rolling around and holding his little fluffy body with glee. Mabel’s back was to the door and she resumed her storytelling as she wiped a tear under her eye. “So then I look down at Dipper and see that he’s still got his socks on!” Luz cackled a laugh and held her head one-handed, her other arm still holding King, but it was to no avail as the demon fell off from all the laughing. Eda, Ford, and Stan smiled as the girls were having fun. They had no idea how they found each other, but it was better for them to be here, safe and happy, than to have the newbie be someone’s meal. Luz fanned her reddening face and finally noticed the company. “Hi, Eda. Sorry, but she was lost and needs our help.” Mabel turned, on her knees on the couch, but grinned with a gasp. “GUYS!” And she hopped over the arm of the couch for her grunkles. “Mabel!” They opened their arms and got on one knee for their girl. Mabel ran into their hold and they hugged her tightly, relieved to be with her again and to find her more than okay. “What did I tell you about scaring me like that, pumpkin?!” Stan asked as he held her with all of his might. “You didn’t tell me, Grunkle Stan.” “Oh, right.” “We’re just so happy to find you alright, my dear.” Ford loosened his grip just enough to look up at Luz, who was smiling admirably at the reunion. “And I see you’ve made some friends.” Mabel let go and nodded. “Yeah! That’s Luz! Luz, these are my grunkles! Stan and Ford!” “Nice to meet you guys.” Luz said and waved politely. “Mabel said you’d come, but how did you two survive out there?” “They nearly didn’t.” Eda lied easily. “Were in the mouths of a giant giraffe when I saved their butts.” “Yeah right!” Stan barked a laugh. “Anyways, we’ve been through worse, kid.” Luz gasped excitedly. “Worse than giant bugs and centaurs with eyes on their chest and man-eating slugs and fire-breathing eye-less fangs and jealous witches?!” “Worse. I’ve punched a pterodactyl in the face and a few zombies, fallen down a Bottomless Pit, lost my hands to a witch, fought off eagles and explosions, survived giant man-eating spiders…” “Stanley, that is all impressive, but have you fought a talking chair, battled in four wars, conned an abominable snowman, outran a volcano, examined floating eyebats, been turned to gold…” “I find that hard to believe.” Eda snorted. “I believe them.” Luz said with a shrug. “You always said weird stuff leaks from this world into theirs.” “So, if you don’t mind me asking,” Ford said, stepping forward. “What exactly is this place? I’ve heard rumors of a place called the Boiling Isles, but I just thought it was a little hiding place like the Crawlspace, not an entirely new dimension.” “Nope!” Eda corrected happily. “This whole world is the Boiling Isles, a world full of despair, monsters, gross-stuff, demons, and magic.” “This place sounds so cool!” Mabel cheered. She looked at Luz and said, “No wonder you wanted to stay here. Wait! Do you have your own room?!” “Yeah! C’mon, I’ll show you!” And the girls ran off with Luz scratching King’s tummy and leaving him to nap on the floor, tired from laughing. Eda plopped down on the couch and gestured for the men to do the same. “I’d offer refreshments but all we have is apple blood and some disgusting beverage Luz likes called orange juice.” Stan looked up at the wanted poster of Eda and the reward promised for her capture. He smiled, impressed and interested. “We’re okay, thank you, Eda.” Ford said. “If you don’t mind me asking, our niece said something about Luz choosing to stay here?” “Yeah, that’s right.” Eda reached under her couch-cushion and rummaged as she spoke. “Kid came through my door when Owlbert brought over some little treasures to sell. Sweet girl. Kinda naive and gullible, but clever in her own right and she’s a fast learner. Stubborn with the forces of positivity.” Stan snorted. “Heh. We know someone like that.” “She said she didn’t fit in at home.” Eda finally found what she was looking for and pulled out a wrinkled, crumpled up pamphlet at read, Reality Check Summer Camp: Think Inside the Box. “Don’t really understand some of this human stuff, but I figured it must be pretty bad if it made a kid not wanna go home, so I read over it and this place sounds awful! Totally squandered any creativity or individualism! Her own mother was sending her here!” Eda let Ford look it over and she shrugged off the rant. “Anyway, she said she wanted to stay and she was willing to work for it, so I took her in as my apprentice for the summer and now she’s learning how to be a witch.” “Hm, sounds a lot better than kidnapping.” Stan approved with his arms crossed over his chest. “This place is completely horrible.” Ford commented about the summer camp. “They teach kids how to appropriate public radio!” “AM or FM?” “Both.” “Ouch.” “So, what exactly are you doing with such a cute girl, Eight-Ball?” Eda asked, getting Stan’s attention. “And what is a grunkle?” She snorted with a smile. “She’s our grandniece.” Stan said proudly, puffing out his chest. “We’re her great-uncles. Her grunkles.” “Aw, who knew you were such a softie?” “I am not!” “You watched over five hours of video-tutorials on how to braid hair.” Ford said behind the pamphlet. “She asked me to braid her hair and it bothered me that I couldn’t do it!” Eda cackled and touched Stan’s shoulder. His eyes followed and he smiled at her cute laugh. “Aw, you’re worse than King.” King peeked an eye at her and sneered, “One more passive aggressive comment and I’ll…” “That’s not a passive aggressive comment.” Eda said as she picked up the little goofball. “I can do better than that.” “Huh, and here I was thinking that was just one of Luz’s toys.” Stan teased. “Hey!” King stood on the couch by Eda’s side and pointed a bony paw at the old man. “Since you’re a human, I’ll let you walk away with a warning, but have it be known that I’m the King of Demons and shall one day drink the fear of those who mock me!” Ford folded the pamphlet and observed King cautiously. He didn’t like… his voice. His voice sent shivers down the old scientist’s spine. Stan snorted. “Sorry, pipsqueak, but I’ve faced worse demons than you.” “Oh, yeah, like what?” King asked. The girls came back, smiling and holding hands, and Luz asked, “Eda, can we please please PLEASE have a sleepover?! I want to show Mabel the new light spell I learned and show her how to properly scratch a demon’s tummy.” Ford chuckled and stood. “I’m sorry, ladies, but we really should be heading back. I’m sure Dipper is worried sick.” Mabel gasped with horror. “Oh, NO! Dipper!” “Oh, hey, don’t worry.” Luz eased. “You two are totally welcome here anytime you want.” “Aw, thanks, Luz.” Mabel hugged her and said, “I promise I’ll bring Dip-Dip next time. He’d love it here! And he could tell you all about the Manotaurs and the weird copy-machine.” Eda and Stan stood up, too, and the Owl Lady had her arms crossed over her chest. “Well, looks like we’ll be seeing each other again pretty soon. You okay with them hanging out?” Stan shrugged and pocketed his hands in his jeans. “Yeah, sure. Good friends are kinda rare these days. Gotta hold onto ‘em and never let ‘em go.” “Agreed.” Eda said and saw them exchanging those odd codes on their glowing rectangles. “Well, have your girl tell my girl when to open the door and I’ll see what I can do.” And she held out a hand to Stan. He hesitated (not just because of whose hand it was, but because shaking hands always seemed to lead to something bad, but maybe this time will be different), but he took it and shook it gently. “Yeah, and if your girl never needs a break in the human world, have her tell my girl.” Eda smiled at Stan and shook Ford’s hand, as well. She pulled the key out of her hair and unlocked the door, making it appear and swing open. Mabel skipped to her great-uncles and waved goodbye to Luz, who waved back, and she went with Ford through the door for home. Stan stole one last look at Eda, who winked at him, and he disappeared with a pink face.

~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note: OKAY, first things first, when it comes to fic, I personally don't really like crossovers. Crossovers can be a fun NON-CANON crossover for animation or actors. I get more enjoyment over fun fanart than I so of fics, because I like mine more plot-driven and it's hard to get a good story going just because you wants certain characters to mingle. HOWEVER, I find Gravity Falls and The Owl House just fit so well together! Why? #1: Alex Hirsch and Dana Terrace (the creators) are dating and Dana Terrace is responsible for the awesome Ducktakes reboot (season 1, anyway) AND the famous Not What He Seems scene. So having such a strong connection creativity wise of the shows is very apparent, more so than the other shows. #2: Evidence that supports these connections. Both shows have referenced each other and a theory goes that Eda and Stan were once married for less than a day. (plz check this video for more) And #3: ... I ship it pretty damn hard, okay? So I hope you guys will enjoy this fun little crossover as much as me! And thank you so much for reading!

#gravity falls #the owl house #eda the owl lady #stan pines #luz noceda #mabel pines #ford pines #dipper pines #king of demons #crossover #fallen owls #fanfiction #oh boy #plz don't hate me but i had to #im shipping trash #its official #remember bitches love comments #and yes i am taking suggestions #what trouble should these silver foxes get into?

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strawberrypaul · 4 years

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Tag game!

Rules: Answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you would like to get to know better!

I wasn’t tagged by anyone but really wanted to do it hihi, I found this on @beatlesbowieforever ’s blog 🥰

Nickname(s) ~ mick! (thank you @beatlevmania for the help on that bhahah😩💞💓💕💖💝)

Real name ~ sorry but i don’t really wanna write that

Zodiac ~ i’m a pisces ♓️

Favourite musician/band ~ obv the beatles, but i absolutely LOVE fleetwood mac! i also listen much to blondie, queen, the rolling stones and a lil mötley crüe and led zeppelin!

Favourite sports team ~ i don’t follow sports, at all

Other blogs ~ i have one; @standbackstandback where i post stuff about the other bands i like ☺️

Do I get asks ~ nope, rarely ever :/

How many blogs I follow ~ 106

Tumblr crushes ~ what? uh no

Lucky number ~ i’m not sure i have one but theres this weird thing were whenever i check the time it ALWAYS says 13.57 (1.57 p.m) so that kinda freaks me out a lil but i wouldn’t consider it a lucky number

What I am wearing right now ~ pj’s consisting of grey shorts and a white t-shirt (i promise i’m not that basic)

Dream vacation ~ the US. i’ve been to las vegas once in 2018, but we might go to florida with my cousins to see the fireworks on 4th july! but i really want to travel to crete and italy again <333

Dream car ~ ooo this is a hard one but i really like the 1965 ford mustang in a turquoise or off-white color!

Favourite food ~ i gotta say hamburger with lots of cheese and goodies (sorry to all the vegetarians and vegans out there🥺)

My drink of choice ~ probably pinapple juice or (ice cold😎) water!

Instruments I play ~ i used to take piano lessons for about 2-3 years, so i’m pretty alright at playing the piano. i do own an ukulele, a guitar and a bass but i’m not good at all! but i practise!

Languages I speak ~ i speak fluent swedish and english, and a little bit of german! i would like to learn finnish too bc i’m 3/4 finnish but only know a few words.. i would also love to learn maybe italian and french!

Celebrity crushes ~ to start with we have sir paul mccartney from the sixties all the way to the eighties, early nineties! and lindsey buckingham in the seventies- 😳 do i even have to explain myself? and stevie nicks is so so beautiful i could cry 🥺 mick jagger in the sixties and seventies, also so very beautiful! these are the only ones that comes to my mind rn!

Random fact ~ i guess a random fact about me could be the fact that i can bend my arms so they start to go downwards a little instead of going straight? idk it’s hard to explain but i hope you understand lol

Alrighty! This was honestly so much fun and I really enjoyed answering all these questions 🥰🥰 I don’t have 21 people to tag but I will tag: @beatlevmania bc you are literally my only friend on here 🤧 but it doesn’t matter cuz i appreciate so much!!! luv u

#tag game

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thingalien-blog · 5 years

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Memories are the things that hold us to the conception of who we are. Without a basis of the past the present is entirely nothing. However when it comes to trying to recreate a basis of who you are when your entire rational concept is falling down around you like jenga blocks you have to only live by faith that it will get better. That reality will somehow fix or mend itself.

A girl I know named Onne had a rational view of the world. Magic was something that happened in her dreams. Not raised with any basis of religion, miracles were things of fiction, hopeful yet not realistic. Loving Harry Potter as a child, movies about ghosts as well as magical abilities excited her yet this wasn’t apparent in the “actual” world. Onne saw herself as another brick in the wall. Not special, not anything. She played sports in school, did theatre too, as well as speech and debate. The world showed her this was it. Brief glimpses of tragedy struck her life, she got into some fights, ego disagreements with people. She became depressed after being assaulted at a party. This depression grew a longing within her for more. An attraction to spirituality gave her a purpose. However, reality was still appearing stagnant. People were all one yet all separate entities just like her. She didn’t have a purpose. It was fine with her. She became really active on social media as a vegan eco warrior instead of her previous ways of highlighting her sexuality as well as arguing with people who wouldn’t approve. People liked how she selflessly cared for defending the beings of this world. She thought it wise to share every bit of wisdom she had. It was entirely too personal at times.

Her parents made her go to college after high school. She was reluctant to go because of her annoyance with the way school was. Exams to her were a large waste of time, college didn’t seem to be a way out of anything. Joining the working world seemed to be lifeless. She persisted, going anyway. Every day she drove 30 minutes to class, then 30 minutes home. It was boring. The only relief she had in life was her boyfriend which she barely loved, love is also a fictional form of magic she didn’t understand. It was nice to have some attention, when people stroked her ego it gave her a purpose. Relationships were intense for Onne. Fights happened often. She blamed her parents. She met an online guide a facebook group where she posted a lot of her personal life, getting advice she didn’t get in the world. Thinking it didn’t exist outside the basis of the group, there became more of a reason to isolate herself from the others.

Onne had an idea to go to Hawaii for university like one of the girls in the group did. She seemed very happy there. She had a boyfriend at the time who was upset she was leaving. Onne and her family also went to Hawaii after her highschool graduation. Eventually her parents paid to let her go. Her mom went with her bought her some things like sheets, plates, a blender, for the dorm. Having a roommate was weird for Onne. Before this she posted on her social media that she was a nudist. Oh, also she was doing nude modeling online for money on the side as she barely made some working tirelessly as a daycare worker for 4 gruesome years. So she liked sleeping alone, naked. Anyway, being a weirdo on social media with followers yet positive vegan girl whos never lived anywhere but Las Vegas with her parents she didn’t know if she’d make friends. She did make many friends. She was nice, really down to Earth. Too much for her own good honestly. She met a lot of different kinds of people. She loved nature. To her it was a paradise, for the first semester. A group of friends instantly came to her side, she loved them. It was nice to have people to always go to the dining hall with or hangout where you lived. It was always happy with them, however there wasn’t much of a depth she craved in human connection in the group setting at least. They were always there for each other though. She met people who she had a depth with, which developed into growing her capacity for human connection further.

Each of these people ignited a fire in her she didn’t realize she had. Romantic or sexual feelings came for some, however it was not the same as before she had left. There was a new freedom to it the depth created. The classes she was taking also seemed to synchronize with the experiences she would have in the world with people, as a sociology/ philosophy major. She also moved into her own room, where there was plenty of time for contemplation. Then came the books she found which were about magic, mystical things. These combined happened to ignite a light in her mind that is not capable of becoming dim, only growing stronger. Onne had a very hard time expressing her thoughts to people however. She had never been confident in public speaking or speaking her ideas to people in general. Years of awkward communications with people, social media speak, watching more movies then talking to people probably add to this, yet she tried. Taking a communications class she tried, yet backed out of presenting herself to others out of fear. It didn’t matter, as long as she trusted herself she believed it was fine. Maintaining communication with people she trusted as well as just being with herself meditating she got answers she needed. Power moves, competition within communication she didn’t realize it as a facete of everything. She began getting real good at being with her own energy.

Eventually things in her reality became super synchronized. There were things going on she didn’t know how to explain. The manifestations of her mind, the past present connection all exploded on her quite fast. She got a thrill of it, yet realizing how everyone is a channel to her about her, everyone knows everything puzzled her. The simulation unraveled, her life was finally for her. The world sang for her, every song was actually for her. Especially conversations at the music joints. Even the entire university musical. Each word in the books matcher her thoughts. Every second, every person, everything in her reality. She got up a level, however, was stuck in a sort of limbo there, without a guide. The idea to leave the island came quick. She felt trapped, having the bright idea to move to Oregon. She left behind a lot of stuff, those few nights before she left were very intense. The thing she wished she had right now was the papers with the comments her teachers made underlined on it, giving her an insight into the truth of her writing. Going to the airport saying goodbye to a good friend, who gave her a folder filled with advice for her. She noticed some boxes that said GF that scared her. Onne also recollected the beach said, “science and technology.” Packing up was a total nightmare, she knew she had to leave a lot however she didn’t realize the whole thing was like a “you’re getting to live in the US” she literally had to open a card with her social security card in it as well as her friend having a mini sombrero in her truck. Winter break going home was not like this at all. Going to the airport in a lyft the next day she noticed the same “science and technology,” sign. Her whole energy was different. She felt like she could take over the world yet she was afraid of things. Another close friend took a picture of her and put it on his story. Everything got so personal. Every person spoke for her, everything on the TV at the airport for her. She mattered.

Onne didn’t eat much of anything that day. She went through the radiation thing at the airport empowered instead of afraid. A kid said “why would you choose to be a girl?” another two guys said “she needs to swallow.” She found a classmate of hers in the airport who was going back to Alaska, she said she would be in the ocean there. Onne joked saying there’s pools in Las Vegas, looking back she was wondering if she missed something. Onne lost her keys in the airport, they were in a place she didn’t put them at all. She called her mom, the music got louder at the airport when she mentioned Handmaid’s Tale, her mom asked her if she was sure she wanted to come home. Sitting waiting to board the plane, she heard someone say “she’s not related to anyone.” She felt so all knowing. She was all encompassing. She sat in between a couple and a man. The man had a pillow news paper like with things such as “America now a nickel ” he pulled out a book which was for her, so did the lady with her husband. His book said “your ego is too big.” he said he worked for state farm. Onne thought, no way, I have not felt this powerful in my entire life. Her book said “you will be going with the CIA..” her husbands said things about god, the 4th heaven or something. Her book was describing the turn of events which would transpire once she landed. The movies on the screen were very personal too her especially, Juliet naked. The flight attendants spoke of things also for her, furikake chips, head shoulders knees and toes as well as people seeming to evaluate her with these health pens with the fuzzy hair saying, “she will do this again, she will be a teacher”. Onne got upset, feeling like she messed it all up. She was losing face. Wondering how to redeem herself she just wanted to stay quiet, trying to meditate, breathe, feel the energy. Onne got nervous, being in a confined space, talking to this man which reminded her of someone she knew, the couple too. Onne wrote something about the roles we play in her notes sporadically after noticing the man do it next to her. The woman then said, “that just blows your agency don’t do that.”

Afterward, she found herself walking through the airport. The man she sat next to look incredibly concerned as she walked away, he stood next to his wife. Onne grabbed her stuff, realizing nothing was or will ever be the same. She saw a book that said “the Urban Indian.” She was everything. She saw an indian woman wearing florence the machine shirt, which her songs were written just for her after the night with a friend/lover in this personally haunted house. When they broke it off his friend also said he was the destroyer of worlds, jokingly yet she would hear this in her head for a while after as things got increasingly more weird.

Pig flew on plane to deliver a pizza. The delivery was to the west world. In the west world lived her parents who she has lived with her whole life. The west world this time was different for pig. Pig scientifically learned how to accelerate past the sound barrier either with her friend Mouse or her own magical ability. People always talked about Pig. The tv always had something just for her. It didn’t before or maybe she didn’t notice. Pig enjoyed this as much as it got in the way with her focus ability. Pig is so used to telling her truth, she doesn’t wanna talk. There are many ways of speaking that go un spoken. Pig is big in uncovering the hidden. Pig sees things as being programmed in her. Like pig is something created by something else or in something created by something else. Pig delivered the thing. The thing was poorly received. Pig didn’t know what to do she hates being displeased or displeasing others. Carly the cat is good friends with pig they are one in the same. Carly realizes that there’s a lot in common with Pig. They work together to communicate. Carly the cat also delivers things like batteries. The past memories they loved talking about together. They also enjoyed puzzles and making collages. Nostalgia always arises when she sees a post from a friend online there it can go into a collage. They once went to a boarding school together after they went to separate universities, that’s where they got quite aquatinted. This boarding school housed many animals studying various things, nursing, labor, agriculture, science, and robotics just to name a few. Things got overwhelming for Carly but not for Pig as she got comfort in the fact that at least there were the small comforts such as food and clothing to get her through the day. Carly thought it was much to rigorous and different compared to any school she had been to before. No one had told her it was this hard however Pig was there for her to lean on. Carly fought when things were unfair, Pig took what she could and powered through tough lessons like robotics and animal testing. Reading books and watching movies was something they both enjoyed as well. Carly starred in a few movies as she partook in acting as a hobby.

Her parents arent really her parents and in this hell every single scary movie shes seen is becoming real while every happy comedy romantic piece of lies she resents. Typing this hearing the words from her once clear as day real father say “im sending her back,” back to a psychiatric hospital as they lie, where it’s really just walmart for humans. I don’t even care anymore to write this in hidden calligraphy. This is coping. This is reality now. Red pill in blue pill light. Acting is only fun when you get paid. I signed my rights away I think. I asked to see the paper again and was told they weren’t there. If I am being lied to I have it in writing that I didn’t know what was going on. I signed for PRN which i didnt understand what that meant. I was in a psycho numbed state and my own beloved or supposed to be beloved father tricked me into signing it. I am distraught. I am tired of lying. I am a cow cat like all women and I am nothing. This brain which I so do love and this body are just vessels for a FUCKING tired spirit. The movies such as get out and Us tell a story, handmaids tale, fucking south park, futurama, all animes, all shows only show a snippit of reality misleading an entire lifetime. I did Nazi that camp coming. I can only imagine whats to come. I wish I knew. I am going to wake up remembering nothing or something if I am lucky. I think theyre going to have me play basketball. I fucking hate moving my body lately I have no motivation. I have seen the nothingness of the hosts bodies that were in there. I could make them say things not entirely at will but it was all about me. I don’t understand why or how this much energy is being spent on me or how i didnt see it all that time. I wonder if there was even a time before. Like maybe i was dreaming and implanted all my prior memories of living in Las Vegas. Or the bible and the 7 heavens is true and I have reached the 6th. Where supposed deception from the devil runs rampant. I know people can watch this through my eyes or gods not people, as well as through cameras placed all around me, somehow. I know all this is going to sound crazy. I remember my college professor saying to hide journals in case someone becomes president and I think I fucked up my chances. I left a lot of crazy rambling journals but this is the worst one. Does it really matter? If I become president they will need to program a lot in me anyway. I was like the movie Lucy before they got me on these meds and I eat everything. I knew things, I put 2 & 2 together in ways to help me understand. I led my team to the top. I didn’t need a lot of food, or any. Now i am a low powered tank caboose that christopher will pull aside and say hey we need you, you know what youre doing. Everytime I eat I think about how it is weighing me down, but I am getting lazy, sick, tired and it gives me slight pleasures, more than almost anything else. I have little desire to adventure, I tried to go to San francisco and was met with the Deez nuts guy from vine as well as people talking about eating me. Then i tried walking downtown past 4th street, seeing a vanguard club a family of 4 told me I was too competative, I got a picture of this street on my phone. Across from vanguard was a place that had some stomach disease, another place next to it another fatal thing. The family frantically told me to leave, i tured and didnt look back. I was mortified, but not even surprised anymore. The shit that goes on in reality is mind bending, but I am playing it safe now. I know I lose either way, but I am not going to keep looking for answers I don’t have anymore questions, this power thing goes deep. The only real question is what are my real abilities? Also, am I as powerful of a creator as the guy in the sprouts who changed the number of calories on my ice cream then took a video of me noticing while telling his friend he got it and will send me to prison because i then put it back because it was an unlucky number. Prison, people (maybe only women?) can go to prison for noticing patterns and changes in numbers. I wanted to know more so i stood by him, it made him slightly uncomfortable, as well as me. They are everywhere. Apparently i am an alien. I am not sure how alien and hawaii trade program works but it isn’t cool. I wish i had more of an understanding of how much exists and how not to talk about it. My poker face is so bad. So bad. When I hear my dad say im going back, I am supposed to just pretend I didn’t. I don’t know when I will have access to the internet again. I might have to be in a home where people are the blankets and I am the one being married off to someone, where my ex boyfriends mom is the guarding woman in charge and my virginity, more importantly my virginity from food, katniss fucking everdeen is up for rent. My memories, my voice, my personhood is not worthy not practiced, not existent. I constantly am around robots or people who want to use my power for cars, bikes, movies, sports games, sex with a piece of my spirit while im asleep all that. Where the past me tells a guiding story for future me to follow. Showers are dangerous, my brother created me, my parents arent really my parents, unless everyones parents are like this. I remember all the fun I had thinking that was ALL i will have the normal life. It wasn’t boring yet so why did this have to happen so soon? I am a prodigy, but they say i am aging. I go to doctors appointments and I hear someone say i am a little yellow so i can still do things. Minion, I was yellow, I am yellow enough to be naive enough to get pushed around however I saw that it was an act thats how I got this far. I became too texas, now im not texas enough, lone star i mean. This act I am not sure what is coming next but I get to sign before I partake. I know my parents use me, my brother uses me, anyone who doesn’t tell me the reality is using me. Because I DON’T know what is going on. Right now i am supposed to act as a girl who got out of a hospital who is going back to school, living with her parents, in this reality, parents are normal not omnipresent, not all knowing. In this reality i am not a handmade (i was hand- made by them) ( to be a handmaid). In this reality i am delusional. In this reality we dont talk about these things. If i am meant to seek pain this is painful. I know these people will screw me over. I ask for what I want, I genuinely want to live on my own and go to university again. I want to graduate. I want to travel, have friends. I have been in the elopement room, the hospital, the man asked me where I learned to sleep when I realized I was lied to so extensively, as well as my contacts being unnecessary. I am limitless truly however I am crippled by my captors. I told my mom how I wanted to go back to the power hospital, i get heart pain but its just an excuse, if i can go back there I can get my vision back as well as my strength. I can get to see the truth again; science in its realest form. I dream of working with them, knowing all there is to know about reality. I want to be immersed. I want to be all enlightened. My ex boyfriends friend worked there, I want to work there too. I swear he came in a different form to the psych hospital, he came and threw away a chocolate milk to make a statement of throwing me away when I turned black. Also, I know mirrors lie. My true color is not on the outside. Only certain people can see me as i am. I cant. I wonder when I will, if I will, why they can. I came here to see old pictures, writings, notebooks filled with info relevant to me in present day. Its as if there really was a team of people using all these things to guide me a direction, testing me. I hear yawning, if I stay up all night they cant harness my life force energy, something my mom said she does jokingly however i know people can do that and if I am the only living thing with youth then it is possible. I do feel tired when i wake up, i have been sleeping more and remembering nothing of my dreams. People can probably purchase my dreams from the hive mind just like they can watch through my eyes. I want to be offered a deal, eternal knowing for the price of whatever but give me the knowing, as well as protection from being eaten alive, let me exist in this world like I am now, just with the knowledge of how deep the rabbit hole is. I know i am a rat, however there is little other way to be. I am amanda, cameron, sabrina, etc. the eating thing is a kink someone has. I am on 4chan or something, i keep looking on there to see if i can find myself. In the hospital they recorded my thoughts. I can sometimes hear peoples thoughts. I might turn into a dog. Thats how i got out of the hospital, I ate, I was told I will become like this obese woman wearing a dog collar who got cleaned by what looked like her mother in the meeting room. She knew I would be like her, however she said i will be a “bork” one. Which means they dont like me. I didnt give the guy the list of foods I like so he didn’t like me. I was just scared and resentful for the trade didn’t make sense. Either I lose myself in there trying to learn around hosts and buyers who intentionally misled me while trying to visit with my parents who didnt want me to know what was going on and take the meds act normal or I ate and promised I would rememeber. I am already getting too comfortable, fatter, and actually too trusting. Since I heard I am going back I decided why not write this? If I go back I might get turned into an 11, stranger things style. They said that in the hospital, pretty sure some lady wanted to buy my long hair too, she eventually left, her checkbook said Payne on it. Money is pain, I dont understand its exchange here. I am supposed to get it from acting like normal, but who do i get it from. I can’t see my audience, and i feel like if i ask for it too much it ruins the normal act. I am the most helpless thing in this house. I also hate the color purple lately. I am surrounded by it, there is red and blue I am in its entanglement. The pictures on my phone back to 2016-17 with mason tell a story for the present as well. How do the creators have time, capabilities to create this for us all? They said i would be in the military in power hospital, because i couldnt afford to be there is this a military test? Like atoms can be tested on. Am i the test. I am the mission. All the memories of highschool are plants to get me to do something in the present and future. What do you want me to do? I might get eaten anyway they said “theres your food mr Wirjo” to a doctor there. I didn’t even try to get away enough, I figured I’d get eaten. I hoped that staying here would be best but I don’t know anymore. I leave for colorado in a few days, maybe that will help me understand.

Even after becoming free from this, weeks later the way everyone knew her stil happened, that bewildered her yet it seemed to happen less and less, her energy ran low and with that so did the bewilderment. Still, a woman gave her a quiche at a cafe yet she didnt order a quiche. Somehow eople tap into the role she played as Mother Mary Magledine, Katniss Everdeen with the cups and the egg ruining if I ate, whenever I ate on a Sunday, it was quiche or deviled eggs to mock the desecration of my eggs from eating. I didn’t have a choice, both choices were bad however I couldn’t comprehend the fact that I thought i needed food to survive, now i dont but yet the reason i was in the hospital was because I needed to eat. Coming back from the kitchen there was the sign “elopement room.” No one eloped with her. She barely spoke a word to people. She didn’t know what was going on, when she would get out, what she looked like to others and what could become of her if she said too much.

The eating too much could be the cause of her low energy however she knows the world is now for her, every time she walks into a new place it gives her a chance to hear what others say about her. She thought this was all her parents fault however her dad kept saying, the sooner you realize its not the better it is. Maybe its not? Maybe it was because I reached past a caste system that I was meant to go through this act. I wonder what else will happen and when. I go back to University, well i am now reminded of when I went to give in papers to transfer and heard someone say “whore” as well as multiple yellow signs with the word “reset” on them with arrows. Am I doing this wrong? Should i be okay with sitting at home all day? Am I meant to be doing things with my family that I don’t know? I maybe am whoring the system by having there be another university scene yet I don’t know what to do. I have to go to therapists and talk about how I am getting better normal. I am supposed to have goals my only real goal is to figure this out. I really miss marijuana. I miss my friends from hawaii. I miss the space I had to figure things out. I miss people understanding my matrix journey. I have no one to share this writing with that i know will appreciate in the flesh. I dont feel like sending it. I dont feel like i can. I know im being white beared (black mirror style). I know this is being watched. I dont know why. I dont know how. I might be forced to blue pill forever, or i might be pulled back in. I know that I am doing myself a disservice eating, but it feels good to sustain myself in excess right now. There are signs all over the house about certain things, also there was a house K took me to in hawaii that had things all over that were for me and scared me. Its like it was preparing me. I don’t get this. She went to the 99 cents store in the beginning and still doing her dance of energy and there was a black woman doing the same thing telling her to go shaking her head. We arent in kansas anymore vegas. Not sure where we are, but the feeling of fullness saciates my fear. I dont understand how my dad cares about when people die on tv yet i went through things worse than death and he doesn’t seem to understand that death at somepoints wouldve been nice. I dont know how long ill have to be here. The only joy i get is from food i have no inspiration just questions rage and confusion. Llama llama red pijama, what memories did i have before this life? Will these people keep me here as Cat (name deleted for privacy) or will I be forced to leave again? They told me i was adopted in the hospital. By the law. I wonder if this is all according to plan or if I am in hell? Can souls be adopted into bodies? Is that what i am? Forced to play a role until i can no longer when i see beyond it or when i become of no use.

The bible i read from a friend said we need to travel when god tells us to and return. This is what hawaii was for me? God wanted me to come back to the nothingness that is the now the confusion more so i dont know what to call it. When i got out of the hospital was the same time area 51 raid meme thing was happening, i am an alien cat or dog depending on what they say. They said princess DIE anna, why wont you die one nurse who reminded me a lot of my exs mom especially i remember she used his name, they both had different bodies but i know that souls can change bodies now. A mom of one of the girls with me in the hospital said to the nurse “i want to switch to her mom” and came back as mom when before she was a friend or something. Also sock colors said deroyal on some people and nothing on others, indicating royalty, i was royal. I was in the god room. It had a picture of stars, everything was for me.

There was a woman reading a book called mentor who said she was Angies list, i was a business in itself but i was too afraid to ask her for help. I saw some of it and it said “you are now in a prison of your own mind what type of person do you want to be when you get out” i wish i knew the name of that book and who she really is, she seemed like a host at first but when i started eating everyone seemed real, we are all in this simulation obviously however i shouldve listened to the guides… i shouldve asked them questions because im not getting any answers here just more regrets. However if i spoke too much and they knew i knew maybe i wouldve been wiped of my memories like i feared. They also said id be going back in the future, oh god i hope not, but as the days go by and i hear more from my dad saying ill be sent back i cant be too sure ill be here much longer.

They said my parents were african, they wanted to make me black, in the black meaning excluded. I was pure, I had understanding and control over my sexual experiences. I got things twisted however i am going to take this feeling back. I live in a house where male pleasure is favored, i will switch this up and prioritize my pleasures no matter what as I am capable. However i am scared, they have taken from me grays a fucking natomy. Wasted paris. I wasted the time everything was romantic for me. I deserve better, ill get there again soon. I need to be doing me though. I keep thinking ill wake up and be someone else or be wiped of my memory but it isnt that simple. No education prepared me for this battle. In fact it filled my mind with information that I well, not entirely true. The end there everything was meaningful. It will be like that again. It is like that none the less. I just hope i am not more taken advantage of then i already am here, my pleasure and energy levels just get down however leaving the house would be difficult since i hear people say im going to get eaten. There are animal shelters for people.

John 3:16 eternal life something or other, the quote from forever 21 bags. Its literally in the name that i will always be 21, im maxxed out now but i want to at least live until im 40. I want to age well, i want to have kids and a husband. I want it all. Wish this was real. Galactic handmaids tale shit. The rotating palms of las vegas i am a part of. My friend who knows whats going on i think made a post saying “her heart will break it always does” when i find out more as i go i hope to know all. I hope i can have this knowing wherever i go next.

This one guy with the word “allergy” on his wristband kept saying things like “robots without instruction manuals” while he was in the hospital. He’d write a bunch of number sequences. There was another guy who was reading the book Dune. He had a shirt “girls of Baja” people that would visit him were his family he was British or something. I never asked him what the book was it’s a popular sci-fi. The soccer game I think he used me to power one time said “electricity and light district”. That must be where I live. A guy in a scion came out of his car at the airport with a shirt that said “electric family” on it when I first got here. Another guy who left to freemont street which I wish I followed in the beginning he exclaimed “I thought this was going to be a movie!”. Aliens watch the Earth dramas.

My friend saphira hints on instagram about things, one was a glass elevator drawing, where it overlooks everything yet everyone can see you from down there also. I wish I screenshotted it. Another thing was the, “one cat for every car.” She took a video of cats on her cars.

At the baseball game I went to with my family I heard that I was going to get fat because I can’t get love. I wonder if that is true. I don’t vibe with any people on tinder and I really don’t want to have sex and damage this thing of my holy virginity. I feel like this thing has to repeat itself. I don’t know why. I’ll go away to school again and have this again.

Publish or parish, along with me goes my recollection. I just went to Colorado to visit L and it was so magical. Vegas started feeling the same, and that was fine and all just little simulation. Eating and loss of power is so correlated and even when I eat little and want to get a drink I’m reminded that it’s hurting me or turning me into a butter producing person. Westbound and down buffalo restaurant was one of the list of choices to go to before we left. I chose clear creek there were people there who eased my fears. I no longer have the fear of being burnt alive or ground up or brutally tourtured because my consciousness will go into another form? at least that’s what they say and I can be upgraded to have 6 level conversations all the time with the use of new iPhones and things, there are many families who will adopt people who can fly up to high elevation with no feel like a Tesla model x. However my baby Jesus died on the plane ride coming back and this is going to be very jumbled thoughts. As soon as I felt the blood drop in my pants a child behind me said “a baby just died!” and a black woman said something like, “I pulled that right out of her” I was so sad and scared, last time I had my period I was sent to the hospital shortly after, I think i am meant to carry babies without intercourse which I was told was the only way to have a child. On the way to Colorado I sat next to a woman and her daughter. The woman had a bag saying Hudson and a magazine that read “the fat torch” she talked about uncle Darin something about that and wrote in pen on her daughters notebook “Carly is a mom” and “I like Belle.” Carly is supposed to be me and beauty and the beast?

People could see I was red in the airport. One person said I was a broke baby, which is true, I am poor in wisdom, money and love at the moment it is making me irrational, afraid and confused. When I arrived and saw L who I know knows all I do somehow, she gave me a juice and the stereo played magic fm and of course it felt magically synched to our life. It felt like she wanted me to ask to stay at her house, or I could have stayed if I wanted to. We facetimed E our friend from university, she mentioned this show called Letter Kenny where they are religious but not and talk weird, I too was talking weird not the same but I don’t just speak whats on my mind because I fear and like to calculate it. Immediately I noticed the book shelf with so many books about women queens in red, falling, ruling, war. There were strange things like a drawing and writing about mufasa’s ghost on her fridge. Then her roomate wrote a big list I wish i took a picture of about the chosen, fight, forgetting, rising, things like that I wish I had in memory. I didn’t eat much again there. Laura had trash in this room were all things I had bought, oranges, lifeproof case, amazon. Her stuffed animals were a bunny, banana, purple pillow. There was a glass heart with the words “youll always be my Nina – love Tyler” I thought of the OA named Nina and wondered if my uncle created the programming or the name Tyler meaning tile maker. My uncle was going to colorado to perform comedy around the same time I wondered if it was correlated and my fear of being turned into a host with no remembrance totally anarchy like Aracellie from the hospital. In the library the books stood out at me were something about female, politics and then total anarchy. Like being a female meant for being a totally open host consciousness? If so i don’t want, I like reserving my openness. The smell of hookah came back as well as knowing that I was a machine. I also heard the term beer bot for my ability to pee. We went to a place called the garden of the gods. There was a trading post, where I got nervous Laura the god as she clearly was higher than me or is, wanted to trade me to a new god, which would be ok with me if they were a nice god. If laura was my god she was the one creating all the chaos and going to make me disabled or less than what I want out of my life? I saw a man who reminded me of M and a woman who reminded me of my old coworker boss at the city of henderson. They were together, it made me question if they truly are together and Mason and I relationship wasn’t truly real. They took our picture for us, it made me uncomfortable. I knew it was something that I made it into these places. We went to a club called the Mansion, where they stamped us with a dog print I thought of mary saying dog = god. Before that we got tacos with L and her coworkers. She showed me a text before this with her group chat and on the top it said “i’m so glad Camisha is coming” i thought I was camisha because I am on cam for her to see, her and whoever else has the capability to watch people. There was a person named Camisha I sat next to at the taco place, a black woman with 2 other black girls. It seemed like they were recruiting, as well as another girl who reminded me of Dallas and another who reminded me of Rebecca except they both were like mothers. I feel like I could have become their child. There was a lot going on, I kept getting insight that I needed to sell myself, prove my worth, litigate like L talked about when the bob marley song came on. In the club, there were people that reminded me of those I used to know. It was virtural reality. L said its like a mirror. I danced with guys. One was Joaquin, Brendan, S’s gf N. I even saw someone who reminded me of E and L confirmed it. I keep having psychic moments where I can communicate with thoughts especially with L on this trip. N once said something about going to the club with my mom. L seems more of my mom than my actual mom. N was always saying predictive things. E knew me, and we were connected. He wants me to ascend past this state I’m at, all the people who knew things are hinting at that. I wish I knew how. Once E showed me a show about us like our situation. There was predictive things happening all the time back in Hawaii. It still is yet in conversations with my parents and small talk at school I get it less and less. Perhaps I’m noticing it less it’s still there though. My dreams are it. Anyway back to the story. The girl who sat to the right of me at the taco place was like other N but older, she was like “do you like this?” she seemed stressed out and older. Seems my quest for the top just makes me older and stressed. The higher you go the older you are the harder it gets. The more north I went the closer to the truth it seemed to be though. “Life is a mountain not a beach.” I keep hearing I am getting old, that i am a dinosaur. I need an upgrade I am begging for the future me. I can picture it I just don’t see how to get from point a to point b, I am so in the dark here. N and I were twins, like shake it up chicago we always will find each other. The floor felt like it pulled energy in. Another place we went to before felt like that too, blue mountain realty where Ls dietitian worked, she led this meditation and I kept thinking bad thoughts about what was going to happen. I thought of Blue Mountain State which is this show i remember hearing the word “sloot” from it like slut. I know the dietitian could read my mind. I have now heard the term psychic spys. There were 2 other women there. One was old, maybe 60 and the other early 30s. The early 30’s woman said after talking about showing someone her mom or something. “this is what I do when I have a cut to heal.” I kept thinking I would get burnt at the stake for knowing too much like a witch so I didn’t want to say much. I wish i recorded that meditation though, it worked well to get me higher. After, the dietician talked about how eating meat can make the stress of the animal absorb into the person. That or I literally feared for my life for a whole month in a crazy hospital that defied all my previous notions of reality. I used to meditate more now I am stressed a lot and I blame living here with this family. Anyway, I realize this isn’t just a meditation place, it was a realty thing. I am realty? Also, after I heard on the radio something about selling my story to random house. If the spy recorded my thoughts, it very well could be stolen from me. I fear that I won’t get credit for my experiences somehow. I know i could make this into a book but is that a real possibility. I could be an author I guess but I won’t know how this ends and there’s so much about the science of it I don’t comprehend. If god can give me visions of this or allow me to know the truth minus the trauma that would be great.

All the signs and shops were meant for me, all the books at goodwill. We went to a vegan restaurant called something owl and there were people like my family and mason minus quintin. They talked about selling me like Get Out. My mom was like what about the fireball and they said we can’t sell that. I can feel my fire getting lessened too. When I ate one of the bartender ladies said to not pollute my planet. The waiter was like Chris, I thought about him and how we stayed at a place called the emerald. Cloud emerald. Its a laboratory company. I know I am an experiment. When I visited Lsschool someone in the parking lot said “it’s too late.” I kept thinking about Leonard and saw pontiacs and Kurt on the side of one when I drove Ls car.

L and Her roommate C had a bonfire after we drove/hiked to pikes peak, which felt godlike. There were a lot of people there, I kept fearing I would turn into an 11. I am capable of flying up to high places, there are people who want people who can do that? People kept talking about me. There were bigfoot signs and different things. Its an act, yet who are those who are above me in it and how can I get there? I think back to the man in the hospital asking what movies ive been in. That’s a good question I said. I don’t know? Have I acted before this? I mean my memories I guess those are a movie now that I see it that way, I just don’t see time as linear anymore because of what jumps its been doing in the present. When I have a set schedule like school it starts to feel more linear less magical or transcendental. When I went to the psychiatrist I heard someone say “its just going to take longer” maybe I am drawing this ride out, wasting time? What comes next? Do I just act in movies next? Or just sit and power things in a hospital? Do I get adopted into another family? Does my appearance change its form? Do I go somewhere else? At orientation there was a black woman who walked out when I was walking around the hallway after eating (when I probably shouldn’t have ate) to say indirectly “you can’t be privileged going to have to get on the same train as the rest of us or plane” I am guessing referring to the plane I was on coming back from colorado.

L said she was a wolf. We visited her parents, her dad was wearing a tijuana shirt and there were things all around the house like I tried not to pay attention to keep my cool as I thought I was being sold. Her mom said something indirectly about me not being opened up enough, L told me she liked flowers. That this was like a project for L, me opening up. When we got back from pikes peak Ls dad said “im going to keep her i think I love her” about me? Then we went to trader joes and there was a sign outside that said “welcome rainbow high flyer” inside there was a “rainbow wrap for a high flyer” too but it had beets in it so I got a california roll. It was hard for me to pick again. L has a mannequin in her room named lucille and she would put the things we did on her like rock climbing equipment and yoga. In the bonfire there were people who controlled me. Someone named Viki, Cody, Dj, and some other people. I was really shy, i didn’t know what to say when I heard them talk about me. There was a guy smoking a vape they said “this is your satan” It reminded me of when we got back from pikes peak a sign said “santas helpers” santa is spelled like satan. Anyway, he looked at me like I was so intriguing. I sat next to Cody and the fire started getting big he said “i made her too hot” and I wondered if I controlled fire. Viki took the ipad and said something like “im going to have her do all these” apps or something. I wondered if I had to do whatever someone said by the touch of their ipad. Dj, cody and blake talked about Billie Elish and Anna kendrik being beautiful. We watched some of pitch perfect before sweet home alabama the day before, making me think I had to get on pitch with others and marry. C was upset that there is more friends. I am guessing the fact that i am in college means the plans of having my life change from what I think is normal to the fantastic outer space feelings that I have been having will be halted. Dj reminded me of Kurt i thought of capitan kirk. When I saw him he said “its attracted to me.” There was a girl named Olivia and Annastasia. I thought olivia like i have to be an O to live and Annastasia stays like the Anastasia in the hospital. This Anastasia was talking about being on bumble. I thought I had to be a bumbling be to stay. Blake the fire fighter guy scared me because he was a firefighter and thats how I got to the hospital in the first place, she told me he worked for cryogenic place too and i think that stops aging or does what the energy hospital first did. I remember a woman who looked like me being wheeled around in a wheelchair and them saying that would be what I looked like, which is already what I looked like so it was strange. Anyway blake said “you really are an old lady” when i threw the marshmellow into the fire after eating half of it. Then something like “we all cant ride our bike for breakfast” he was really insecure about his eating or something, and my ability to not want to eat at certain times.

I thought about b and a movies and how b movies are my life without action, without the brutalism I was experiencing, I am still working for the hive and will remain queen. A movies is ant and building hills I would just be a slave building pyramids again for someone else, I might still be doing that. Anyway after that thought L changes into a bee happy shirt with a bee on it. I told her ive been thinking about bees but i never go into details with my thoughts of what was/is going on between us. She took me to a movie called Free Solo about this guy who climbs high mountain rocks by himself. The guy ate like I did and acted, the way he emotion and spoke like I did. It seemed to parallel the way I climbed to the top where I can see my memories and the events of the past leading to guide me, its all for me. The last thing he climbed was El Capitan. He becomes the captian of his own fate in a way. Yet, it didn’t show his life after El Capitan, because it isn’t simple, it seems the climbing never stops. That drive to red rocks amphitheater was long, there was a street called arapahoe and many self storage units and hotels in random towns. I thought of the lives my consciousness could live, and places its come from or could be going. I thought of the show Atlanta and the emails i get from there. I had a hard time sitting straight during the concert, comedy and movie, which all had to do with us and things we’ve experienced. It felt like I powered everything. I got tips on my phone that helped me, like “boost from mango” which reminded me of the man to my left, I posed like him to help my back from being strained. I feel like I am needed to be a power source in places. I will power things for entertainment and comfort. One thing the comedian said was about feeding dogs vegan food, “why vegan food when they are a dog, dogs eat vomit or something like that” I thought about how I was a dog now and if the food I eat is really something in disguise by the gods.

L said something like “how are spirits made?” I immediately thought back to when I was in the hospital not eating, my body started making these fumes that smelled almost alcohol like, I had never not eaten that long or been in that situation. I wondered if that is how alcohol is made. Alcohol is the spirit of a person who isn’t eating and is likely suffering in my case at least. Those russian vodkas with the sexy robots on it. If you dont eat you become a robot and produce vodka? Wherever our bodies really are our veins, our urine, our breath perhaps contains the ingredients to truly make alcohol. I didn’t tell her this of course, but she knew I knew. Its the spirit of a person. Like those ads for women vagina beer things. I was surprised they actually did that but that is truly how beer is made. Hersheys is just her shits. Bananas are dicks. Anyway, yeah. Like that orphan tears video on youtube, “cry directly in this jar, I will drink it at the bar.” sadness and not eating = vodka.

I write this bc I have either lots of hope or no hope. I can’t tell but I think it’s better written than rotting with me wherever my mind ends up. I don’t want it to backfire on me, since I am in the truman show and stuff. I want this to be a show of my character. Perhaps I share too much, well I am not putting my name on it. This is TMI and I am afraid of sharing but I am afraid of other things I could do more.

I got rid of so much when I left to come here, I was in a state of knowing that things were not the same, i didn’t need things I used to have. However, now that things are stagnant again i find myself upset that I left what I did and I am rebuying a lot. Some are irreplaceable and a lot of money is going to replace things. I don’t really know what I am doing. This all scares me. I wonder if I am wasting time in college, as I know what i learned led up to this, will what I am learning now lead up to something or is it filler?

I am reminded of things such as my friend H always sending me poems about her being a surrogate mother to me. “Hooked up to wires, we couldn’t give you anything less.” Saying she gave me to nice people in the poem however that isn’t really that true. I asked her why she chose that theme and she just said she liked it. I wish I kept the poems, but my parents made my phone reset when I was in the hospital. I suppose I could ask her but we only small talk now. She sends me songs. She posted another thing online about a lab girl, it said they’re always watching. As well as her asking what my favorite play was and having that be the play performed in the theatre, Rent. I wish I had chosen something else but it was nice to have that happen, same with the concert L was in, it was all for me. Even people in the audience mentioned how one of the numbers was Ben and Isaac, when they were my exs from highschool.

Outside of the club there was a man who told L, “you really ruin people” and she said what do you mean he said “you know you do.” I think they talked about me, L may have limited me, maybe she is what started this whole journey down or inward, or it is a mirror of my fear of this such thing happening.

How did people get to know everything I now know and more that I don’t? When will I know all or enough to bypass all things that ail me? I dream of being all knowing, powerful and just. I wish that for me and for the world to have people have their dreams come true, I want to believe in this possibility more than anything. I want to be a true scientist and ruler of my reality. I don’t want to be a garden slug anymore.

I dont think I ever lived for myself or ever can. I am confused of my role in this life. I feel like I am controlled and determined by people outside of me way too much. I don’t know how long this act will go on, it’s getting really annoying, I want help getting to the next stage, if there ever is one. I want to choose my form and reemerge.

Theres so much I don’t see. I felt my ex doing acupuncture on me and heard him and his friends talking when they realized I heard, “she can hear” and then I felt my ears being stuffed with something.

There are people watching me and I know theyre dissapointed in me essentially giving up. H sent me Billy Elish Fingers crossed, about being too far gone, everybody makes it til they don’t.

I can’t open up to anyone. I am writing this hoping they can see honestly. It’s all I have communicating to the ether.

I should get caught up in things I want again, however big the fear, does it really matter?

My choices make up the way the game goes. I want to play my cards right. My options are infinite yet limited in the perception of reality that holds itself more.

Everything is unraveling now, the truth is being let out, started slow now its fast, yet it’s still slow. I wonder if I chose to stay in Hilo if it would be different, probably. I wonder if the more truth comes out the less I am able to live, or will that mean I just ascended. Am I meant to do that? Am I doing this right? I want more truth, more understanding.

I want to be a rich woman who travels the world and makes love to it. I want to love people and know things. I want to understand modern science like the energy hospital and human robotics. I want to see what I can’t currently. I want to hear as well, all the senses for the world beyond my usual comprehension. I want to be able to transcend dimensions and space time. I want to have friends who do the same. I want to dance as I do this, I want to be free from the hold. I want to know famous people. I want to meet others who have completed these goals too. I want to be an astronaut if space is real. I want to go beyond average human capacity for knowledge. I want to read minds. I want to have my own helicopter. I don’t need to remember playing Caitlin. I can wake up as this new person, with new experiences. However, it would be nice to remember all I have been, though the fact that matter can be changed, I think I could’ve played many roles, before human form as well.

I could be in an anime show, i think i am in my hero academia but I want to actually see myself inside of the show not in this house.

I am not caitlin I am just some random japanese man in caitlins body.

Time goes by and there are many dimensions I am in cloud atlas, bonding to certain souls over and over through time.

A few weeks ago everything was for me at all times, now it comes in waves. It could be because of eating or something, not sure. I am reminded of what Blake said, “not everyone can ride their bike for breakfast.” I think of the bikes in black mirror where when you ride enough you get to perform in front of judges, I definitely am being judged.

When I went to the outpatient psychiatric place everyone there seemed for me and I wonder what that means, there are different people every time now. One time I heard someone say, “shes a little yellow that means you can still do things with her” like I am thinking the act can still go on. I also saw on a paper of some guy coming out the letter R like a movie rating. I might’ve already wrote about this up there. I wonder if people can pay for me to act in their movies as Caitlin or as me with my memories changed or maybe I am way off.

My father blackmailed me. When I got out of the energy hospital (St. Rose) there was teal colored trash bins and labels, it began with orange. I remember thinking I was entering a concentration camp. It looked like no hospital I had ever seen before. Everyone there was old and they looked like they were being hooked up to machines that would end their life. I was in the hallway with no room. Everyone stared at me. I recognized D, one of M friends who was a nurse, I didn’t realize this kind of nurse existed. My dad came with me on the ambulance. I didn’t eat for maybe 4 days, I didn’t sleep for like 2. How could I when all my memories were becoming like Total Recall? I was reading the Da Vinci Code and began Angels and Demons before the firemen came into the house for the second time. I was breathing fire, yet I know this smell of hookah wasn’t me. It followed me. Also, these “firemen” installed things in the house that burned when you walked by them. All of this is normal protocol. I had to tell them I was fine, I was, I was just not fine and I couldn’t trust anyone, still can’t. Anyway, my mom wanted me to watch this new netflix movie about people going to Europe. It was relevant because the Da Vinci code explains the vatican and the levels of spain, england, france then europe as a whole or something, I need to re-read. Anyway there began to be too much killing and I could feel something not right i didn’t want to watch it, my stomach was eating itself, i knew I wasn’t really their daughter and I couldn’t do anything. They took me to paymons the day before and some waiter named pepe peed in my mango juice and at the time I couldn’t say anything, before that, on fathers day, uncle tyler came over and they talked about cars. He said they send them young, they talked about stick shift or electric. Then jamba juice, how sometimes they put in a rotten apple. I couldn’t speak. Laura sent me a snapchat of passion fruit. I remembered that passion fruit aprodisiac and mormons banned it. Theres a book of mormon pamphlet with actors in it, 2 black men were described in a loose paper in there, maybe thats who i was before caitlin. Anyway, i got messages in my email about how to ask for money. I know this is an act and I want to get paid for it. I thought i had to have sex to do that even with family? How dare i have thoughts like these? It disgusted me, yet here these men are clearly talking about it. And paymons, we sat next to this older couple. Chicken, get out, soccer, salmon, fries, ring,

St. Rose, tv black people talking about their scene, futurama cups holy grail, futurama wives being controlled by husbands like bots, 90 day fiance, futurama seeing phones in the mind, show that looked like ending of the matrix like black wires with a military like ship taking over. Nurses talked about me being poor, saying I would be sent to military and that I would be ok with that. The TV screen in front of me had a helicopter and my name, other things. I thought it was physically going to take me somewhere. The main nurse was an asian man, the one who asked “where did you learn to sleep” he also said, “do something.” I asked what was going on but they didn’t say anything. When I woke up there were many people in and I felt like I powered a race track, and a puppy. I woke up and the people next door who were talking about a puppy mentioned something was different then the nurse said she woke up. I remember them bringing me food I wasn’t hungry and the nurse was like no eat, eat the whole school. She spilled the eggs on me. She said not to go to the next level. I look back and remember it was teal, after teal is purple, where I was before and it just cycles back to red. My dad came and he said I didn’t eat so then came another gurney, I said i didn’t want to go and I would eat. He was telling the man that he calls me a boy, because I act like a guy it was really fucking rude. I knew I was going to be in pain again. I felt good after the day I was in the energy hospital, the nurses were nice. I had to change, I thought i was going to an normal mental hospital like the one i went when i was 15. I thought all i had to do was eat then I would leave. However immediately I realized it wasn’t normal. I had to sign this thing i wish i didn’t sign my dad made me, it was something like .60 for prn. I wanted to get out I was also thinking i was being deported, they took me to a hospital very far side of Vegas with barbed wire fencing like a prison. It was called Desert Parkway. I started crying and they took my picture when i was balling wanting to go home. I just didn’t want my dad to deport me. I got sent down this hallway with a bunch of old people and the “elopement room” which i thought meant marriage but i looked it up and it means I can’t leave without endangering myself. Anyway, it was odd and i was beyond anxious. I went to my room where i laid down realizing it was an act and these other people were actors. When I did that it caused chaos, they brought in real patient files and things were different. The people here weren’t hosts, they were adults seeming to be choosing to be here, or they were asked to be here, not sure, but they were conscious. There was a woman named Lenora, who kinda reminded me of Leonard. People asked for her when they needed to mediate for me, because i didn’t talk much. I remember getting scared because I didn’t smoke a cigarette the first day, i thought cigarettes would change the dimension of the smoker, it did in a way, but it carried the rest of us like a train. I kissed this guy to absorb the niccotine which was a dumb idea, lenora got kinda upset. I didn’t do that again. I actually got mad at the people for not telling me what was going on. It reminded me of the bathouse in spirited away. There was another girl in there who was about my age who only ate vegan food she had a notebook with the word college on it. She seemed to know what she was doing. She got mad at me for staring at her. I had to meet with the doctor. I was too honest when he asked about if i had ever been depressed before, I was nervous. He prescribed me with pills. I looked up after there was a piece of green tape in the hallway, “that was so bad fix it!” the doctor left. I took the pills. I regretted it instantly, it made me sleep. Lenora also took the pills. She said something about it being okay. The guys said something “she probably won’t take those again.” regretfully. My parents were glad I took the pills when i spoke to them on the phone. The first visitation took place in the cafeteria. Which i went everyday and didn’t eat. There were 3 other boys my age or maybe a year younger with their families, from the other unit. I talked to my dad and I realized that this was like courting to be with me. I don’t think it went well because nothing really happened. The staff in that room had playing cards in their hands, they were dressed in regular clothes they weren’t nurses. I thought my life was dependent on the cards someone will pull for me. In the second hospital a nurse brought me “the redhead plays her hand” at the end of the book she gets married. My dad motioned that he didn’t really like that ending, I wondered why. I began to long for a normal life more than anything, marriage sounded nice.

On the last night i was there we watched a movie about a space craft crash landing and having to fix it i don’t remember the name, then there was this movie about black people. There was a woman in charge of the space one. I thought it paralleled to me. There was also a puzzle of route 66. If i was in charge I still felt so out of control. People were leaving, I was getting cold and scared. I signed to get sent to a different hospital and when I did that the old man in the wheel chair said “you’re going to walmart” I asked “really?”and I said I didn’t want to go but i had already signed. I thought of the concentration or FEMA camp conspiracy videos I used to watch or deported children being housed in Walmart camps. I didn’t know what was going to happen. I wish I had just ate at Desert Parkway looking back, but the sketchy card people and the visiting couple things scared me, both of which were there in the next hospital Southern Hills. They put me up to the 4th floor of the medical wing next to this completely incapacitated old woman who was fed pudding by a man who sounded like my uncle. I felt like that could be me if someone overpowered me, I got scared. I was so tired at this point. I went to sleep. The bed would move around and wake me up. I woke up and there was a paper next to the window something for the hospital but written, “family or money$.” I know this was an act, all the torture, many are watching. I still don’t know how to or how I could’ve made money from being in the hospital. Was I supposed to be Mary Magdalene? I know it wasn’t safe asking questions. I remember trying to be coy with the nurse with the batman tattoo not straight up, how do i get money but something to that effect. She didn’t tell me. I was so jealous of every nurse, they are free. Yet the one batman hispanic girl nurse seemed jealous of my role. Later on social workers came in. One said something about “like a plane landed a goldmine” referring to me. I am guessing dimensionally I can fly, i can’t really conceive what that means or my design. Everyone offered me food. One time I said something about carne asada fries because the batman tattoo nurse was talking about eating me coyly like people do in the 6th. When I did that the menu said with pencil unleaded, if you shine it in the sunshine you could see the indented words “so you can talk like that” or something because I am kinda bad at the art of war. I wondered if the watchers were disappointed or amused. I asked for pineapple smoothie then didn’t drink it. They mentioned phillipino. I realized fill up is in the name. They told me I was going to the pavilion, a new psych ward. I just wanted to go home. There was a doctor who came in named Mandorin. He was nice, but he made me take ativan which made me tired again I don’t remember much of what happened in that time. I thought he would take me from the hospital. The TV instantly made fun of me well made fun of his looks for thinking that this man would take me out of the hospital and be my sugar daddy or something. He mentioned losing contact with my ex boyfriend making me upset and i was stubborn and saying no, which really i should’ve said yes maybe. I guess i slept after that i dont remember, i ate some of a violettes vegan burger from my uncle. I took a shower this nurse helped me and braided my hair. I dont remember this much. I was sent to the pavillion in a wheel chair. The elopement risk was on this door too. I dont really rememeber getting in. i remember seeing my roomate a 40 or so year old black woman with red or purple tips short curly hair. She said she was glenda the good witch she said she had a daughter. She wrote notes about me being purple dinosaur like barney, young, beautiful and nice or something. People all focusing on me is something I wasn’t used to. Watchtower from the show OA prepared me for this I guess. I was scared she was getting the wrong idea from me because she touched me on the back, i was too nice to her or something. Then there was christina, a black woman with no teeth, really skinny, a host consciousness for sure had no family. Almost everyone in this hospital wore the cheap thin blue hospital pants and shirt, some didn’t. Christina had a shirt that I swear said New York, the letters turned to “Just back down,” I felt like if i backed down I would lose my teeth, my conciousness, my everything. I wondered if this was where all souls go to die. Westworld prepared me to be curious about human conciousness and their roles, yet it’s like the more you look the more you truly find the end. Caitscurious is my instagram name, still is and I have always been curious about sociology philosophy and psychology of the human mind, why the world works the way it does but especially related to humanity. I was looking for something, and found hell. My favorite movies 1408 and spirited away chart similar journeys. “We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. Through the unknown, remembered gate When the last of earth left to discover Is that which was the beginning; At the source of the longest river The voice of the hidden waterfall And the children in the apple-tree Not known, because not looked for But heard, half-heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea.” TS Elliot. All the life I lived lead me to the tower, my memories, artifacts are clues to help me see I am not Caitlin, I am playing Caitlin. If I want to continue playing Caitlin I have to integrate these aspects. I feel like I am not supposed to keep playing Caitlin, Caitlin is in jail. This role seems more of an initiation into life. I hope I get to keep my memories and not get wiped from them. However, I could just be used. Women may have only that role in this world, however I don’t want to be bleak. I really want to presume greater. I have met women in on this, H & L, they for sure know whats happening, but its my battle to fight. It is hard to hope for me right now with all that has occurred. I thought if I got my period I would turn to pubertina there were toothpicks in the drawer, I thought someone would take my teeth. I looked at the trader joes bag my parents put the 3 t shirts and sweat pants and pajama pants i could wear. it has a crashing plane what turns to a stagecoach and under the bushes some peasant kids eating and looking over. There were ads on the computer for robotics, Alexis mussi ceo, and lauries gifts. The man who would always walk with the psychiatrist had indigo and a pug tattoo on his arm, visitor, cambro food, woman wanting hair, knowing nose, george, internet, rico, animal chloroform, robot without a manual, elijah, fat man wagner, lighthouse man, jesus host, lamb peru, moms wanting a bike, super young pregnant girl, morganna, deroyal grey socks, eugenia cooney, fosters home for imaginary friends, monsters inc, stranger things, westworld delores, social worker, on the phone talking to his mom, wheelchair old man, vaccine, court, consent, annastasia, b12, cat puzzle, sad goat,

Aricellie from the 2nd hospital said, “some people are not even sick they just choosing to be here to get medications” I heard that and thought, and more. They are getting something else, they must be.

I resent being in the dark.

There are 2 barbie dolls in my closet. One is hawaiian daphne and scooby, another is a barbie watching power puff girls. I remember watching power puff girls at my grandmas house on her couch. Then i dreamt time went slow and fast. It was electric and it made me realize all the backstory is here. I am not sure why i write. I heard my dad said “here’s Lucy” and slam doors. They clearly don’t want me aware, yet they do. I no longer have to be a girl named caitlin, i feel like I can choose to get out of this narrative. I took pictures of the other things i have found like all the drawings from safekey kids.

Anyway my dreams, I dreamt i got a shirt on etsy that said “i dont want to work” from C with a knock on my wall. and then another dream M gave me a shirt with hot cheetos and a robot. Then my dad asked if i ever pooped in my water when i had a basement room in the house with a large screen. Then a dream where i was looking for this shirt i got rid of with an eagle playing guitar, my brother had a huge closet and didn’t have the shirt. Then i was in Ls closet. There was shirts that sexualized good girl and then tie dye things then 2 bracelets with pizza wolf and pizza warlock. It quickly changed from ls colorful room to an office with black and white things and plain black shoes and desks. There were 2 male bosses and that turned into a sexual thing as well when it was supposed to be an “office job”.

I dont know how much time i have left. I fee guilty for eating meat and i get negativity for it yet i dont want to starve again i am starving of knowledge and pleasure love and truth i am seeking guidance power and release.

I remember going to new orleans with m. already touched on this but the pictures in my phone are arranged in a particular order. I remember in new orleans watching this futurama episode about a relaxing island which happened to be a zoo where people from another planet could watch. I think thats where i was, now im in hell. I wonder when i signed the contract to play the parts i am playing? I wish i stayed in hilo because I was free there as much as i was trapped, the whole planet is kind of trapped, just then i had a better outlook on reality. Ignorance is bliss and i was in states of ecstasy at times. The emotions i get back here are so bleak, depressing and terrifying. I am not sure who i am, i know im being watched and all my friends or most of them are in on this. M said one of his friends went crazy thinking he was in the truman show. Does m curse this upon people? Is my soul being farmed? Are people in other dimensions and planets kicking back watching me go insane or go through crazy making things? “Deadric city seraphim district” whose understanding of their distance from the absolute divinity of Atziluth causes their continual “burning up” in self-nullification. Through this they ascend to God, and return to their place. Below them in the World of Yetzirah (“Formation”, archetypal creation, divine emotions) are the Hayot angels of Ezekiel’s vision, who serve God with self-aware instinctive emotions (“face of a lion, ox, eagle”) If anything I am like the meseeks in Rick and Morty trying to understand my purpose. I’m like Igor “Animated fable about a cliché hunchbacked evil scientist’s assistant who aspires to become a scientist himself, much to the displeasure of the rest of the evil science community.”

Ive inserted some pictures of things. I am failing at this game. I wonder if i am an alien that had my memory wiped in order to live on earth. Or i am trapped in a game i dont remember signing up for. There is also a military glove. A card from my grandpa that says congrats on my excellent report card. My neighbor who used to be my close friend saying happy 8th birthday and 3 native american dancing cards. What if i am really from the ocean and came up, like the picture the kid from safekey drew for me. I am like Nina in OA communicating with the octopus. That show was for me. This life is for me and i dont understand why or what the other characters who know but dont tell mean. I don’t understand if this is my only time I get to experience this “all for me” thing. I fear I could turn into a kid again with my memory wiped. If i have to be a kid i want to be a boy, today I went into a boba shop as i was walking i saw a car that said “rest in peace myy son in huge letters on the window with american flag skulls and a picutre of the boy.” i thought i was the boy and i got upset because I know its because I am doing things like eating boba but I just can’t balance my inner childs needs for safety fun and happy gay kind of stuff and the need for truth and seriousness of the situation. Its like i am playing “Hell II Adopt a Soul”. Anyway i want to be a boy because it seems like the game is easier to play and theres less threats for knowing things. The coins are from this coin jar ive had in my room for ages. One of my exs I, he broke into my house well in through the garage and took half of it drove my moms car to the coinstar left the reciept in it while my family and i were visiting my grandpa and a space mueseum in california. My uncle T, he tweeted “met my wife at a coinstar” theres a coin purse from his ex gf J in a drawer. The only movie I have ever seen with him is the corpse bride. His ex name means Supplanter or replaces thing of lesser value. Men literally get to replace their girl bot thing of lesser value with a new program? Not happening. I need something else.

I had a dream 2 nights ago with M and I. He was in the next room where my brother is. I was justifying why i was here, i must be god level to be here yadayada. Treasure Island casino was Jerry training. It is the worst one, M was mean. I was God justifying out of fear I guess. Then I woke up to a dog barking super loud. I thought I was being turned into a dog. Last night I had a dream Dr. O my old soc professor I was close with from soc club, who used to say pretty prophetic things I wish I understood then said “I finessed you” with a pencil looking yellow pyramid drawing. I started begging and justifying my worth in my head to try to get basically adopted as a soul or being bc I am very very very scared for my future. I even thought “i’ll work for someone for 6 years.”

I keep smelling this smell that smells like fuel its concerning and I don’t know what it is but it follows me everywhere. My head itches and my shoulders hurt constantly. I am begging the world for relief.

Another movie that is like whats happening to me: Anti Matter (AKA Worm) is a sci-fi noir take on the Alice in Wonderland tale. Ana, an Oxford PhD student, finds herself unable to build new memories following an experiment to generate and travel through a wormhole. The story follows her increasingly desperate efforts to understand what happened, and to find out who – or what – is behind the rising horror in her life.

There was a room in the psych hospital called the anti room a room with nothing plain white walls and two chairs in a room outside of that room. It wasn’t in use until one of the last days i was there a man who was new there crying and yelling while a worker nurse just watched him from the next room with a clipboard. Anti Matter records has music of people in my life it seems and their anti matter selves.

Alpha Gate – i should watch that movie. It doesnt directly have anything to do with me yet i remember singing to myself while driving, i recorded it. Saying “let me be the alpha.” “A particle physicist grieving over the loss of her husband in a car crash travels to a parallel world to find him again, with dire consequences for her family.”

I feel like I am in a coma or in avatar when they put their body in rest to go into a new body in the avatar world. Truman show. “Child legally adopted by a corporation” “on the air unaware”

Some girls were talking about the meaning of oedipus and dantes divine comedy the other day. Dantes comedy talks about the layers of hell and oedipus marrying your mom or dad. I made a youtube video about oedipus. I feel like my conciousness before was not fully controlled by me somehow, i am not even sure if my conciousness now is fully free or if it is being controlled or manipulated by someone else.

“A dimension is a place” i think about all the times I have been in places lately and even if i am in a room all to myself, the words of others in the next rooms sync with me, like they can see me but they can’t or they can right in their minds. Like the first hospital when they knew I peed and said something about me not doing it without affecting them which I didn’t understand. Or when I was changing my clothes at Ls house I was deciding what to wear and getting frustrated and C commented just do what you have to do, ugh and commenting on things I picked. “Life in the fast lane makes you insane” Things were happening so fucking fast that I couldn’t even ask questions especially in the hospital times and at Ls with the bonfire. My parents too. Now I still don’t because I can’t act like I know things without being threatened. Its a nightmare and its lonely pretending to be normal. If something happens like that I would now ask, because things have eternally slowed down a little bit.

#alien #thing #starfishinachorusline

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