#I have forgotten how to breath

[han-merlin]

When did this become a WHOREHOUSE

Nobody fucking ask me how I'm feeling, nobody even fucking LOOK at me

#who the fuck let him leave the house like this #put them AWAY #i might have forgotten how to fucking breathe #theo hernandez #davide calabria #ac milan

[myork]

seokjinies cooking vlog🧑‍🍳 | 11/50 days of ksj ☽

#ive forgotten how to make pretty gifs okay 🫣 #bts #btsgif #usersky #userkelli #usersan #tusercelia #dailybts #usermaggie #annietrack #shirleytothesea #trackofthesoul #50ksj #shes a little late but she’s here <3 #what did u think i wouldn’t gif an entire vlog of only him 🤨 #anyways posting today instead of yesterday because i have internet today 🙋‍♀️ #hes so funny n entertaining i could watch him all the damn time n he always looks so good too 🫶🫶😳 that one clip of him chopping while being #all serious 🫣😳 n sipping wine 😳n breathing 😳

[leechandoki]

It's Zora May!!!

I had this drawing finish last year (October 3, 2022) for a collab but sadly the person forgot about our collab :')

I looked up when I made this and when I had it finish and It apparently took me three days to finish which is just wowie :0 !!

This is my Zora-Sona dress as a guard. hehehhehehhehe I remember hating painting the Spear. But god damn chef kiss :')

Kofi | Post+

#zora may #zora #breath of the wild zora #breath of the wild zora sona #zora sona #my art #my artwork #artists on tumblr #breath of the wild #the legend of zelda #Little sad that the collab was forgotten but oof it's fine I'm just glad to show y'all this #I have no idea how I was able to paint like this really

[sophieswundergarten]

.

#Holy cow #I found my first forgotten attempt at fanfiction the other day #AND I WROTE IT IN FIRST PERSON #I'm gagging over whatever on earth this abomination is #(It's not MBS in case anyone's wondering) #I just kind of forgot I had this hidden somewhere #But it's kind of nice to see how much I've improved in the last couple of years #SUCH AS REALISING THAT FIRST PERSON IS A GARBAGE WAY TO WRITE #Not that I think anyone who does that is bad #I just don't like it for my own writing #But man was that weird #I see now why you guys do these nothing posts with rambles in the tags #It's kind of nice to have a release #I need to write more about Sticky #I want to #But it's on the list with my Cannonball fic and Wolf 359 ideas and also that Enlil fic I'm supposed to be working on right now #Yeesh Sophie chill out #Okay. #I'm going to take a deep breath now #Sorry to anyone who read this #Love you #I hope you're having a good day #rambles

[quickboot]

I’m not sure why I have Breath of the Wild on both WiiU and Switch. You’d have to ask my husband Josh. Buying a second copy was his decision. He played it on Switch for a little while, but got kind of bored with it and moved on to Genshin.

I played the WiiU copy. When I first started the game, I saw a black horse with a white mane which I thought was pretty, but I didn’t have enough stamina to tame it. Somehow, in the subsequent 300+ hours I spent in this game, the Horse Color RNG never, ever again spawned a black horse with a white mane for me. Lots of gray but never black. I eventually gave up and caught a black horse with black mane, which I named Rain, and which became my favorite.

Today I tried to turn on the WiiU for the first time in a long while, and it’s stuck on a system update that can’t install. I haven’t tried any other games, but I can’t play BotW without the system update, so as far as I know, my stuff is just inaccessible now. [Edit: turns out if you store the WiiU without playing it for a while, its memory just kinda breaks! Very cool) I was pretty upset, but Josh said, if I wanted, I could pick up his abandoned save file just to wander the world and mess around. I did, and after a few minutes of wandering around (and finding I’m pretty rusty at the game), I saw a black horse with a white mane. I just caught a deer a few minutes ago, a horse should be easy, so I snuck up on it, and was almost there...

Cue the dramatic piano music. Where’d that guardian come from? A guardian shouldn’t panic me like someone new to the game, but it kind of did. I could have fast-traveled away, but what if the horse I wanted despawned? I wasn’t going to lose it a second time. I thought I was far enough away to just run from the guardian, but I guess I forgot how persistent they are. And the laser gets me. And my armor sucks because Josh didn’t find all the great fairies. And I’m dead. Mipha’s Grace revives me. I shoot the guardian in the eye and attack it. I die again, but fortunately, I’d just grabbed some fairies a few minutes ago. I’ve just about cut all the guardian’s legs off when night falls.

Blood moon.

I kill the guardian as quickly as I can, and, with a few seconds to spare before midnight, get up on a hill so I can gain a tactical advantage and see the guardian before it sees me. The blood moon cutscene plays, and I look down, see the guardian, glide to it, and attack it. After killing it again I can finally go get the horse I wanted since 2017.

Since my gentle black-maned horse was named Rain, my new white-maned one will be named Storm.

On the way back to the stable, I see four more black horses with white manes.

#breath of the wild #botw #this has been in my drafts for a while #i think i'm posting it now because i seem to have forgotten how to sleep

[amaraudermind]

My thoughts on Robins are very simple, actually: I want them all to have a fair chance to shine and prove how amazing they are, but I draw the line at Dick Grayson Erasure

#dick grayson #that's really what most of my most hated things come down to so it's a fine generalization #'tim's been robin the longest' wrong this is Dick Erasure #'jason was tim's favorite robin🥺' wrong this is Dick Erasure #'robin and batman is the perfect title for a dick and bruce dynamic duo book' wrong...okay actually that's more damian erasure than dick #BUT to be fair it IS still erasure of him because of the fact that he's the batman in question when talking about robin and batman #yes i AM still annoyed by that book stealing damian's idea for their name why do you ask #listen...i am still hoping for just ONE acknowledgement of that line...dick having to briefly take on the cowl.. #he and damian showing up among a crowd of people...someone shouting 'look! it's robin! and batman!'... #damian muttering under his breath that it DID catch on.. #or otherwise it's bruce and damian showing up when someone says it...damian turning smugly and mentioning that it caught on... #bruce being confused...damian having to sit there..thinking about the fact that it was another batman and practically another life.. #thinking about how they were the greatest... #bruce wondering if with all the time screw-ups he'd forgotten something that damian remembered...but he hadn't been there at all... #maybe later on damian visiting dick... bringing up the incident..passing it for a hilarious anecdote...but dick DOES remember that.. #him smiling and saying to damian 'what did i say. it did catch on'...damian freezing for a minute... #then jumping into indignation because 'you did NOT call it you were being SARCASTIC i TOKD YOU we should have been robin and batman but #NOO thAt'Ll neVer cAtch oN damIAn' #wow i am rambling about NOTHING related now. go me. #anyway #void posts

[oh-katsuki]

i gotta stop going on tiktok bc i just saw a comment section that makes me want to burn my eyes out…

#some girl was talking abt how some girls go out with a bunch of groups every night #and jokingly asking how they have so many friends bc she has two #I’m paraphrasing but u get the idea #which is a normal enough sentiment like no hate there #but the comments…. bro they were #they were quoting Aristotle like ‘a friend to all is a friend to none’ #and saying shit like ‘I bet it’s all surface level and they have no real friends’ #and other things like that #and I had to BLINK BECAUSE WHATTTTTTT #why is everyone so MAD about some girls having a bunch of friends 😭😭😭😭 #like sure okay maybe sometimes those sentiments are true but like… #have we forgotten that some people are just nice??? or very social??? #and that it doesn’t inherently make someone SINFUL AND EVIL ???? #I WAS BAFFLED !!! #it was all so hostile like what the hell are you onnnn aboutttt #some people just have friends #idk they were all so mad about it I was baffled bc #why do we care so much what other girls are doinnggggg I’ll never understand #let the people breathe

[beeapocalypse]

<-- it was forced to think about the honey sweet magic system

#very loose idea but i think pyromancy is notably more powerful and unwieldy than other forms of magic. focuses on breath control in order-- #--draw in the imperceptible gaseous blood of the existence dragon (mana) but with too much casting in a short period of time they run the-- #--risk of the blood condensing in their lungs and drowning them. a lot of reliance upon ingredients supplementing-- #--actual casting (preserved body parts from beasts with natural pyromancy and vials of bottled air from particularly mana sodden places) #while the existence dragon vomited up reality thules claims to have breathed life into existence thru fire in the dark before Anything. the #--power of belief of the ppl of the cradle gives that more power as a form of magic than like. vomit lol #^ pyromancy as a form of magic which will almost certainly eventually be the death of its caster as a parallel to how thules own lie leads- #--to their death. does that make any sense at all #big pig practices pyromancy. guy who i have not talked abt at all named kalmisto does so as well. a lot of its practitioners die young #OH YA very small idea for those natural pyromancer beasts. theyve got veins leading 2 their lungs that act as pumps to siphon off the-- #--excess liquid or smth. i do not know anything abt biology but that is a very weirdfun thing to say so that is what im going with lol #honey sweet info #<-- ive already forgotten the alamanni mirror to this tag LOL i think thats the format i was using

[aureachaos]

Sands of time. I am shaking so much. Ranboo's play at the end was amazing and gave them a 1400 coin lead

#mcytblr #minecraft championships #sands of time #ranboo #i literally got faint from how much i was shaking #might have forgotten to breathe #minecraft

[brutlist]

self care is blocking the person who tried to use your hearing disability against you to talk shit about you in your own home, to your own face!

#them: trying to help me recall a person i have not seen in a very very long time and have since have mostly forgotten everything about #me: i don't think you understand how fucked my brain has become since i've had my stroke lol #them: of course i do and i still love you! ( under their breath when my bad ear is turned to them ) it's irritating :) #me whipping my head around a whole 360 degrees: is it?

[blinday]

TIFU by almost passing out and the reason for that was very stupid.

Dont judge me. Ok maybe do. For context, I'm autistic and for some reason I am aware and controlling of almost all the usually automatic or uncounscious functions of the body, like stimming, body language, reactive expressions, expressions in general, natural movements, blinking and, worst of all, breathing. So I am constantly counsciously telling my brain to do those. I don't only feel pain, my brain makes me know exactly where and why it is hurting, so I am usually able to tell exactly where or/and what's the problem, and what'll happen if I don't do something about it.

Sometimes I get a bug in my brain, though. Like, I forget to blink. So I overcompensate by blinking nonstop for like 5 seconds and then widening my eyes. That one's not so bad, but...

Today I fucked up by almost passing out for lack of oxygen. You get where I'm going right.

#blinday's life #autism #or is this just me #idk #funny #im funny stfu #i dont count my breaths and blinks sometimes but i do feel the urge to sometimes #bro i literally just adapt my body language and expressions to match tye person i'm talking to #its so embarrassing #and frustrating #like someone pranked me with that 3 2 1 automatic breathing off thing but it never turned on again #i have to counsciously investigate about the sensations i get in my body because idk how to differentiate being hungry from stomach ache #and anxiety from having forgotten to breathe

[maschotch]

I've gone a little deeper about Emily's past in my fic 'Unrequited' and 'As It Was'. I'm just obsessed with her character and the backstory both she and Hotch have. And I just finish reading the little backstory you did about Emily and I loved it!!

i’m really not much of a jemily fan (partly because i think fanon characterizations of jj are completely delusional, partly because i think fanon characterizations of emily are beyond insulting, and mostly because i cannot fucking fathom what anyone could possibly like about jj), but i went ahead and read those two pieces because i figured you came into my inbox already knowing that. it’s just… not how i see either of those characters. not even necessarily the shipping aspect, even ignoring my reservations about jj, but because of the way i think emily approaches relationships

this sounds hypocritical after writing about emily + family, but i feel like emily doesn’t really care about her biological family anymore. at least i’d like to. i’d like to think she’s accepted that she’ll never be what her mother wants and that she’ll never get what she wants from her mother. she’s 36 when she joins the bau—surely that’s enough time to realize she can’t hold onto those childish fantasies anymore. not that i disagree with what i wrote, i just think it's given her a complex ab family rather than it actually being something she truly craves. it was a setup for her life: she wasn't meant to be with others, which is something she eventually tries to change about herself

i’m a big fan of low-empathy emily, so i feel like she has to put active effort into caring about relationships. as a child raised by an extremely distant parent, she probably chalked it up to never having connections growing up, so she never learned how to make connections in the future. it’s easier to assume she’s broken, and it’s easier to blame her mom for it

but really, i don’t think there’s anything wrong with her, she’s just different. at some point i think she had to wrestle with that: it’s hard to think she fell into the job best suited for her personality just by coincidence. being a spy requires that cold, calculating observation and analysis of relationship dynamics. she can view things objectively because she isn’t naturally inclined to get emotionally attached. she can witness unfathomable horrors without a flinch—things that would rock jj to her core, things that would perturb the unflappable hotch. she knows she’s better equipped to handle those types of experiences because having empathy was never really a priority. (it's part of why i think she was the only one who could've walked through hotch's apartment that day: she wouldn't get distracted)  

that being said, i don’t think connections are impossible for her. the bau proves that, declan proves that. but i think that was a conscious choice on her part: she had seen enough—caused enough—pain and grief to realize that she should feel guilty for it. so i think she wakes up every day and decides to care. she decides to be a good person. eventually she confronts that she's tired of living a life she doesn't feel like she could be proud of

she’s not heartless, by any means. she just doesn’t become emotionally involved until she comes to the logical conclusion to do so. she has a soft spot for kids because they haven’t had a chance to truly know themselves and the world they live in. she loves the team because of how deeply connected they are to each other. so, when push comes to shove, she’s always willing to leave if it means keeping them together. it’s easy to make that choice because she loves them: in season 3 when the choice is between her and hotch and she knows hotch’s loss will devastate them; in season 6 when she’s making them potential targets for doyle’s vendetta; in season 7 when she feels the tension that never quite settled upon her return. i don’t know if any of the others would’ve made those decisions as easily, even if it was the best choice for them as a whole. not even hotch, who is terrified that his proximity is enough to hurt people he cares about. she’s detached in a way that can separate her from others, but she’s able to turn that into her strength: whether that means manipulating her way into terrorist organizations or walking away from the only chance at a family she's ever had just to keep them safe

i have my bits and pieces of evidence for it that i can scrounge into a semi-believable character analysis, but ultimately i think it’s so i can enjoy more of her character without getting irked by aspects of the archetypes she could fit that would typically annoy me. i’d like to think she’s above some of that: she’s too cool to have mommy issues, too badass to spend years pining over relationships, too self assured to be insecure about her decisions, too smart to let anyone see through her. 

i say all this as a hotch fan, who has traits very similar to these. but it suits him. it makes him more interesting, to know that there’s a vulnerability behind his stoic appearance. but with emily i think it’s far more admirable for her to choose to suffer because she wants to care. minimal loss is the perfect example of that: she makes the logical choice to put herself at risk because she wants to protect reid. she’s not running away from who she is anymore, and she’s not really fighting it either. she chooses to be a good person, not out of guilt or even love, but because it’s something she values. 

for me, emily is the cool brooding hero who could be a villain so easily. maybe, in an earlier time in her life, she was. but she’s done being selfish. she’s willing to make sacrifices for others because she decided that living by a code is better than living for nothing at all, even if it causes her pain. guilt and love—two burning sensations that were so opposite yet so intrinsically linked—were burdens she chose to bear so she wouldn’t feel so hollow anymore. and it does cause her pain. so, so much pain. to me, it makes her endlessly more fascinating. i’d rather her be a knife that dulls its edges than something soft chiseled to a jagged point. 

#aljkhsfgjk was halfway through breakfast when i saw this in my notifs then got so worked up reading the fics that i just HAD to say smth #now--thirty minutes later--my toast is cold and forgotten #and im trying to decide if i feel mean enough to actually post this #asks #emily prentiss #i really just. don't like emily in most ships #i think ppl who ship her w tsia or derek are slightly more forgivable--they retain her fun energy #but with jj and hotch? #they just.. its just... its not her #she doesnt pine like that #even if i actaully liked jj i just dont think emily would waste her time with someone who's too scared to accept herself #idk im just so TIRED of queer ships where the main source of angst is rejecting their own sexuality #especially with the bau... htey know themselves better than that #not all of them! i think jj and spencer struggle to come to terms with it (jj moreso) #but derek? hotch? emily? penelope? they have deeper darker secrets that far outweigh whatever shame they may feel from being gay #if anything i think their homosexuality (bisexuality imo) is a relief for them... a breath of fresh air.. smth they can love ab themselves #an outlet... physically and emotionally... suckin n fuckin to forget how much they hate themselves #bc they DO hate themselves #but they're not plagued by the.. by the SHAME jj and reid have #theres a difference i think #and people can project if they want--thats totally fine #i just dont think it suits their characters

[myleftpinkytoe]

When my partner told me the queen died, the first thing I said was

"Oh, so the UK is going to be horribly disrupted for mandatory national mourning, and then the people will promptly get rid of their monarchy"

#queen elizabeth #i honestly have no strong feelings about queen elizabeth in general #the royal family in general makes me feel not great #but liz was fine #partner was like 'shes been queen for like 70 years' #and i was like 'yeah. so ppl have forgotten how ridiculous mandatory national mourning is.' #hopefully this reminder creates enough motivation to toss the monarchy as a concept #but im not holding my breath #anyways #rip liz #I'll miss having you on my money #i do NOT want charles on my money :(

[bo0zey]

everyday i wake up against my will n im lettin y’all know now that i’m abt 1 more waking up against my will day away from somehow someway making it god’s personal problem

#blueface baby ayyy #i love my cat but sometimes i am annoyed bc if it wasn’t for his existence i would said sayanora Long ago lmao #i wanna d word i was not supposed to make it past 18 i’m so fucking angry #im not gonna amt to anything in life i’m so scared of it all so pathetic and weak #i’m too weak for this world someone else can have my place i was never supposed to be here anyways hahah i’m not good at anything #i have zero talents ive wasted 10 years of my life writing books and publishing nothing i live in my stupid dreamworld #i don’t know how to hold a conversation i don’t want to go outside i want to rot in my bed i am so sick of myself #also don’t come in my ask box on some wahwahwah stop self pitying crybaby grow up ok bc i’ve literally been telling myself that for years #if someone walked up to me rn n was like here have this euthanasia pill and i knew my cat would #be safe and happy w someone else then yes i would take it in a heartbeat lmao no water necessary !! #im a burden to my family a financial burden all i’m good for is putting more debt unto others how USELESS!!!!!!!! #i have no friends but it’s my fault bc i don’t talk to anyone back i just i can’t #i think subconsciously i’m trying to push everyone further and further away so when i die they aren’t hurt #i don’t want a funeral i don’t want anyone to grieve me i feel like a narcissist even assuming someone would grieve over me lol #i just want to be forgotten about i want everyone to keep living and doing well without me to get in their way #i’m just an obstacle in other ppls lives a hindrance a fucking troll without a riddle just hurtful mean words #i’ll write everyone apology notes #i have so much guilt inside me it’s filled my lungs and heart sometimes i can’t breathe if i think abt all the ppl i’ve hurt by being alive #god put me on this earth to teach ppl lessons abt avoiding ppl like me #fuck god i’m done being his puppet i’m done hurting ppl i’m gonna go away someday and no one will ever hurt again #why do i want to cry i’m so fucking self absorbed why the fuck am i sad abt myself #i think subconsciously there’s something in me that wishes to stay alive and be the positive impact on ppls lives like i always wanted #i always wanted to help ppl and make friends and include everyone and now i’m just so toxic i let younger me and everyone else down so bad #i feel like my mom hated me too right now i feel like she deserved a better prettier smarter funnier more selfless daughter #im ok everyone btw im just being dramatic n venting lol dw i’ll start writing in a journal instead of tags soon #shut up cianna

[meateater-lamb]

#vent in the tags idk #i hate my fucking life #i actually fucking hate my life. so much #i havent had something good happen since 2019. not one thing #its just gone downhill #which is insane bc it was already terrible 3 years ago but SURPRISE. IT CAN ALWAYS GET WORSE #fucking hell #im like 90% certain im chronically ill but its not like i can really go to the doctor. #i dont want to risk covid. #so my health just keeps deteriorating #i cant even breathe right at all anymore #the effort it takes to take a full. deep. breath. its so much. and it hurts. #and im so dizzy all the time. i can be laying down totally still and the room will be spinning still #im so isolated due to the pandemic ive genuinely forgotten how to interact with people irl #not that i knew how before. or that i wasnt already isolated before. but its so bad now #and my heart has gotten weaker. i can feel it. it pounds out of my chest and skips beats and shit at random. so much more than it used to #and i keep having panic attacks bc im afraid im dying and i keep having nightmares and holy shit i just want to be ok #is that too much to ask??? to be okay??? for life to get better for once??????? #and i dont even wanna get into the mental shit im going through or the highkey abusive situation im in but its bad and i just. jesus christ #god. #idk #i just needed to rant for a minute ill prolly delete this when i get back up. im going to bed.

[bread-tab]

most of my writing in the past three-ish years has been either rough drafts of fiction, my own journals, tumblr posts, or bits of other social media (eg organizational discord messages) and i've just had a very rude awakening that uhhhhhhh. formal academic writing brain gets rusty. i have forgotten whether it's gucci to use hypothetical "you"

#also completely forgotten how to MLA cite anything #again #have to relearn that shit twice a year #eng102 saga #adhd studyblr #breadtab writes #''colloquial writing not allowed'' i am slain #i live and breathe colloquialisms #it's not like i don't know five nice hoity toity synonyms for everything it's just #sometimes it lacks that #shit #i have to google the spelling #the fucking je ne sais quoi #you know??? #sometimes i just want to say something snappy without having to uncontract the contractions and disambiguate and turn every thought into a #whole paragraph #not that i don't do that anyway but now i have to include quotes from the text #and work in the citations #it's good for me but i'm remembering why i hate *doing* academics