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dnpbeats · 2 months

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so much about why dan loves phil and how phil changed him but what about how phil loves dan??

Okay. When I first read this ask I was like "I got nothing" lol. now obviously not because I think phil doesn't love dan, clearly I believe that he does. but you'll notice that everything I said in my dan loving gremlin phil post was based on things that dan has said. and when it comes to phil, that man is SILENT!! he keeps his mouth shut. so I was like I have nothing to extrapolate from here. but! then I realized that's not true!! bc I think phil is very obvious with his actions!

and honestly just the fact that phil lets us see how much he loves dan through his actions speaks volumes in and of itself. because phil has said so many times that he's a private person, wants to keep any relationship he has private, etc., and I think he's proved that he's serious about that based on the fact that he hasn't said jack shit about dan in the way that dan has said stuff about him.

and yet, phil SHOWS so much how he cares for dan!!! and he says things that allow us to read between the lines! like phil buying the japan tickets and surprising dan with them in 2015. we know that dan is not an impulsive person at all and likes everything to be meticulously planned out. phil knew dan was never gonna bite the bullet so phil was just like "well this is a thing that's happening now" (see also: 2009, phil telling dan to buy tickets to come visit him for the first time and 2023, phil making dan come back to the gaming channel because he knew it would be enjoyable for him again). he just knows dan so well and loves him sm that he doesn't let dan stand in the way of his own happiness. and even though phil is private he allows us see how much he cares for dan, he doesn't try to hide it at all

and then just things like. phil telling the bbc he wanted dan to do the radio show with him. phil calling dan up on stage at the boncas. phil just randomly mentioning dan on his channel(/having dan be there) while giving no context bc at this point he expects everyone to just Know who dan is. phil talking about how proud he is of dan and his book at the end of the hair cutting video bc he knew dan wouldn't let him get away with saying that shit in front of him but he just had to say it.

okay and in terms how dan has changed him/bettered him. I do not think phil was necessarily an unconfident person/struggled in the same way dan did but like obviously everyone is gonna have their own insecurities. but I really truly believe that dan just, lets phil be phil. I was rewatching some of the ditl videos the other day, and in the manchester ditl there's the iconic "phil's in his own little world again" with the fondest laugh ever. but then! london ditl, dan saying yes phil should go climb on the lion and then filming him running over to it (and then being annoyed at the guy who told phil to get off LMAO). japan ditl dan telling phil to go run over towards the bird. do you catch my drift? like phil's a lil quirky but dan doesn't love him in spite of it he loves him because of it!! he encourages phil's phil-isms bc he loves them! and then also just little things like when phil swallowed the glue and dan knew he was anxious so he talked with the paramedic and then texted phil everything that they said and that he was gonna be fine!! I think dan is probably a voice of reassurance for phil a lot. like they just both know each other so well and they know exactly what the other needs, yk?

sorry that I let this sit in my ask box for almost a week anon I just had a lot of thoughts to collect but yeah <3 that's all

#dan and phil #ask #anon #dan howell #phil lester #d&p

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plantsjustwannahavefun · 1 month

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"Izzy Canyon dwellers just want to turn him into an innocent victim who did nothing wrong!"

Actually my problem is that, in hindsight, Izzy didn't do enough wrong to justify the common interpretation of his relationship with Ed. In my book, the first time in the series he legitimately crossed over to villainous antagonist territory - someone you actually loved to hate for it even if you understood his reasons - was when he set the British Navy on the Revenge. That way he not only betrayed his integrity as a pirate by consorting with the common enemy of all pirates, but risked Ed's life too - cause, like, come on, that "plan" to send CJ to convince Ed to leave Stede was so far-fetched it barely counts as a plan. I don't buy Izzy ever looking at CJ and going "yep that seems like a smart, responsible, trustworthy man I could rely on for a delicate mind games operation like this". It was an act of sheer desperation on Izzy's part, but he still chose to do it. IMO this was actually worse than what he said to Ed in S1 finale. Although of course that was very nasty, too.

But the thing is, we don't actually have any info on what their relationship used to be like before S1. We were only ever shown, not told - and both times from Izzy's perspective: the first time in S01E04 during his resignation rant, which was very heartfelt and I'm sure a lot of it was true, but it's still one-sided, and the second time during his deathbed speech, which was, again, one-sided and this time biased in another direction - instead of airing his pent-up grievanced Izzy was putting most of the blame on himself.

Other than this, the entirety of Ed and Izzy's pre-S1 relationship gets extrapolated from one single episode, S01E04. The narrative itself seems to want us to see it as a microcosm of their usual long-standing dynamic, at least on the surface. We see Ed being depressed and suicidal, trying to open up to Izzy about it, and Izzy shutting him down and making him act like Blackbeard again. Since it's already clear that Ed and Stede are the main characters, we're primed to see Ed as the victim here and Izzy being an annoying, insensitive nag.

Except the context of those interactions changes everything. The context being that they are literally about to be attacked by the Spanish - something Ed knowingly brought on them with his decisive power as captain - and Ed is deliberately withholding crucial information from his own first mate and the rest of the crew, making them all think they're going to die and he isn't doing anything about it. Izzy wasn't just being a boring buzzkill not being excited for Ed when he showed him that ship model. He was actively panicking and trying to do his job asking Ed for orders so they don't all get slaughtered.

So, yeah, those are some very exceptional circumstances that don't say anything about their typical day to day interactions go when they're not in immediate mortal peril due to lack of communication. Was this the first time Ed ever told him about not wanting to be Blackbeard anymore? Izzy didn't seem very surprised, so probably not, but we don't know, and if Ed had confided in him before, we don't know how Izzy reacted - but I'd like to point out that this time he didn't ridicule Ed in any way, he simply pointed out that they were about to die if Ed didn't do anything. Does Izzy usually indulge Ed in the stuff he finds fun when they're not about to be killed? Again, we don't know, but Izzy's playfulness during that first confrontation with Stede in S01E02, and his whittling and jokes in S2 showed that he wasn't always as grouchy and joyless as he's made out to be. We actually saw him smile when Ed got excited about Buttons, too. Pretty sure if Izzy always shut him down about things like that, Ed would have stopped trying to share it with him long ago.

And, finally, there's one piece of this puzzle that doesn't seem to fit in with the rest at all. The show both told us and implied that Izzy couldn't let Blackbeard go because his own identity was too tied up in it, and because he idolised the glory of violent pirate lifestyle. But if that's the case, then why did he have no problem with Ed wanting to retire? Izzy literally gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up on the whole "kill Stede and steal his identity so he could live the rest of his life as a rich aristocrat" plan. If Izzy only admired Ed as a pirate, and was so hell-bent on keeping the Blackbeard persona alive, why was he ok with Ed retiring? How does this square up with the idea that Izzy had been keeping Ed chained to piracy?

I'd honestly hoped we would get some flashbacks of the two of them in S2, and then S3 before that hope died too, because there's still so much we're missing.

#ofmd #our flag means death #izzy hands

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milliebobbyflay · 5 months

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Okay so I've spent a while thinking about how to word my actual problem with homestuck 2, and the works that make up post-canon homestuck more broadly. I think a lot of people resort to nitpicking bits of awkward writing or art in some attempt to pinpoint a source to an underlying sort of hollow uncanniness, which is funny because homestuck's supposed golden age of acts 1-5 are themselves FAR more of a tonally inconsistent mess of odd character beats, jokes that don't always land, and janky looking art.

Homestuck 2 has been written and drawn by very talented and passionate artists from the beginning, I think the actual issue comes down to a mix between the general pitfalls of hiring fans and the particulars of hussie's outsider background and unorthodox writing style.

First is the issue of hiring fans in general; while it can seem like an easy shortcut to finding talented writers already familiar with the voice and story of the original work, you have to be very aware of how fan culture operates. Beyond the obvious pitfalls that fans are unlikely to approach the story from a detached perspective, there is the larger issue that past a certain point fandom becomes essentially self sustaining. Once a fandom has existed for a long enough period, its most avid members have likely spent FAR more time engaging with other fan works than they have with the original art object. Fandom and the art it produces are, in this way, a sort of a folk tradition; artists are imitating and responding to other artists, characters become archetypes through which to explore certain ideas and dynamics, and the values and tastes of the most prolific and influential fan artists become as inseparable from a participants mental image of the character as the original work itself.

For an example, the affected theatrical mannerisms and cruelty Vriska adopts while in her Mindfang persona have become inseparable from the popular view of the character. Despite the fact that it's heavily signposted as a sort of role playing performance from the jump and she's more or less dropped it by the back half of the comic, it was nevertheless how she had acted in the bulk of her scenes around the time the ur-texts of homestuck fandom were being written, and as so an understandable misread of a character became inscribed into the fandom canon, and by extension her characterization in Homestuck 2.

All of this is extrapolated by the sort of unorthdox, building-the-plane-while-flying-it manner in which Hussie's writing style developed.

Based on his commentary, I get the sense that Andrew is an incredibly clever and thoughtful writer who lacks the theory and vocabulary to precisely describe his process. He tends to communicate in sort of abstract metaphors which aim to bridge the gap in explaining the actual conscious process he uses to plot his stories, but the way he talks about technical nuts and bolts writing craft stuff gives me the impression that his approach is largely intuitive, bordering on unconscious. He's a lot better at describing how he writes than what he writes or why.

You can of course piece a lot this together—his approach to art draws from the tradition of videogame spritework, where the visuals exist as a utilitarian vehicle for conveying information first and a work of illustration only inasmuch is needed to serve the greater story. His character writing draws more from a synthesis of literary fiction, sitcom writing, and "making up a guy" style posting humor, where characters are defined more by their life experiences and underlying psychology than by their goals and values, but also seem to have largely been constructed backwards from a starting point of a funny or interesting manner of speaking. Importantly though, I don't get the sense that these were conscious decisions, just that to Hussie they seemed like the logical way to approach these tasks, and I don't really think he could outline them in a way that would actually help a new team of creators grok how to draw and write in a way that feels like homestuck. I also don't think Hussie could actually explain the psychology that undergirds his character writing, I think he was mostly just drawing on his own life experience and imagining how this sort of character might logically speak and act.

As a novelist, and Hussie is one, both your thought processes and the sum total of your worldview and life experience are just as important to your work as the actual conscious decisions you're making, and I think that where there are gaps in understanding, the new writers are filling in the gaps with both a more conventional approach to the creative process and over a decade of accumulated fanon, and I think that's why homestuck 2 never really rises above feeling like a very well-made fanfic to me?

#homestuck #homestuck meta #homestuck 2 #hom3stuck #homestuck^2 #loooooooongpost #vriska #vriska serket

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rifualk · 10 days

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On Mental Health and Cosmic Embarrassment

I don't usually make a post in the aftermath of one of my spirals, so I bet most people see some of the vent posts I make, and assume I am just off my meds or something. I am on them but I might not be on the right ones. This is a thing that happens to me sometimes. I have psychotic episodes, where it feels like the things I am saying are completely inconsequential and I genuinely believe no one cares what I'm saying or, worst of all, that it cannot scare anyone that cares about me. I get too tired to fight my intrusive thoughts and I just ride them out. Most of my thoughts are not ones I enjoy having. I have trouble parsing what is real sometimes. For most of my life, out of a kind of primal shame and terror of being perceived or judged, I beat myself into believing that I just roleplayed as a crazy person online because I wanted attention for it, but it finally clicked for me at some point in my 20s that I was, and am, genuinely very mentally ill, maybe in ways that make me not-entirely-functional in the culture I inhabit. Also, I want attention for it.

Life is very embarrassing. I think embarrassment, shame, et al. is probably the most cosmic feeling of them all, because being embarrassed, for me anyway, leads invariably to my OCD extrapolating the embarrassment, no matter how slight, into its natural extreme, becoming a full-blown existential meltdown and often manifesting in some self-punishment. Or a lot of self-punishment. Instead of saying "everyone wants attention, it's not a big deal", my brain will overwhelm me with shame and make me vow to be quieter about the whole thing next time. Good emotions are meant to be expressed, I tell myself, and Bad ones are not. I think it's very unhealthy for people to not express their negative emotions openly. Or maybe I'm psychotic. I mean, I am psychotic. But maybe right now, too.

Ultimately this feeling peaks with the realization - again - that I'm a eukaryote. I live on a spinning ball of stardust in the aftermath of what had to have been a colossal disaster and waste of time. But it happened, and so now there's a bunch of stuff floating around, and some of that stuff started moving for reasons I don't personally understand and the implications of which scare me. And the moving stuff that moved faster got to stay moving longer. And so a chain reaction escalated, and eventually there were very large moving things whose survival adaptations had evolved in such a way that they could conceptualize and communicate complex information about the world around them, but they were also able to conceptualize themselves. This gave them a lot of grief. They wanted very badly for there to be an answer to why they were able to do that. Surely it served some purpose. But we never found one, and here we are.

I don't have a god to turn to. I have tried - earnestly, sincerely, and desperately - to reach out; I never hear back. I don't want to be an atheist, it's heartbreaking. Honestly. I want someone to be up there, or out there. Knowing there isn't, is just... cruel. It's horrifying and it wrenches my heart. Look at us, look how much we're suffering, where the fuck did you go, what the fuck is your problem? Help us!

In spite of everything, I am still not sure what I believe.

Don't you ever just cry about the world? Like, broadly? Don't you ever just have to take off your glasses and wipe the brine from them because you caught a glimpse of what people, as a species, could be capable of? And I get angry at myself, too. What am I doing about it? What even can I do? I can barely hold down a job. I am barely an adult. I am often mired in this feeling. It permeates everything. I'm living in a tragedy - not just my own, but millions and millions of others'. This is a nightmare. It's a nightmare and I'm an embarrassment, and my brain doesn't work right, and I'm living in a terrible reality that is shared by everyone, and yet somehow equally isolating and alienating to all of us. Does it have to be that way? Aren't we all lonely?

When I am spiraling I really do think that the end is near, either for me, or for everyone, or for both. To be fair, my confidence about humanity's future is not promising even when I am at my most sane. But in this kind of emotional place, the stakes are too high for me to care that what I say might come off as upsetting. It is completely overwhelming. I see my life up to this point, and I see how long I've been alive and realize I'm very Not Normal and I look and sound different than everyone around me and I'm an embarrassment. It's embarrassing to exist. It's embarrassing to be transgender, too. It's really, really embarrassing to be mentally ill and fully aware of it all the time. It's shameful. I am ashamed of how my family likely sees me. How my peers see me. I'm just a walking disaster. I feel like this bars me from leading a happy life or finding some success in art - It doesn't seem like you're allowed to be quite this much of a problem and "get away with it", does it? There's a bit of social sanitizing at work there - you are only allowed to be a certain level of messed up and if you pass that you're sort of a pariah. I don't think I've ever done anything pariah-worthy, but I can only see things from the inside of my own head, and there's a lot of unwanted noise in here.

I painted this when I lived in Oregon. I don't know how. I could not do art like this again if asked.

I'm not in a good place, generally-speaking. It could be worse - and it was for a long time- but it's still just not great. There are two reasons for this. One is that I'm very homesick. The other is that I found - and subsequently lost - my twin. But I only want to talk about the first reason right now - I grew attached to the Pacific Northwest in a way I've never really grown attached to any other place. It had a quality that exists nowhere else. It resonated with me immediately and I knew right away from the moment I first set foot there that it was my home. I grew to be a part of it, and it's the only place I felt I somewhat-belonged... I have been away from Oregon for 2 whole years as of next month. I feel like I'm a fish out of water, or a sapling in the wrong soil. I can't and won't say that the place I live currently is a bad place, but it isn't my place, and the disconnect has been maybe the nastiest shock to my system in all my life. Finding the place I loved, and living for over 12 years there, only to be wrenched away from it so suddenly, left a shock on me that I think has yet to surface in my work. I'm excited to see what form it takes when it does. Location is very important to my mental wellbeing, more than I think it is for most people. Maybe I am a plant. It's also very important for my art. I've struggled to find inspiration since I moved here. That said, I've had the very precious opportunity to just work on myself - on my transition, as well as my personal issues. I think I'm getting better, gradually, in some way. I have a job now, at least. So it's not entirely bad. I even grew sunflowers last summer.

Around this time I got banned from twitter, but I don't feel any shame about the reason why because I believe in my message. But it forced me to be a lot less active online for a long time. It also made me lose a lot of support. That's been something I've grappled with a lot these last 2 years - that people really don't like people like me, for reasons that are mostly not our fault. I will likely always be something of an outsider for being who I am now, but I was one before anyway. It's still worth it. I like the person I'm becoming. I feel like only recently did I allow myself to feel this self-love. I was too embarrassed of myself. It took a lot of patience and a lot of de-tangling my self-worth from a lot of trauma. So it's likely I would have needed to go through all of this regardless of where I was.

I still slip up. It's an uphill climb and it's slippery. I like to be transparent about these things. It's a relief - feeling like I need to hide things is my default state and it's lovely to just let go of stuff so I don't need to keep it in my head all the time. I have a lot of hangups still. I get discouraged about my art still - I fear I'll never build myself back up to where I was before, and that there will never be a time when I can really pay the bills with it. Or worse-still, that it just isn't special enough to last. That it isn't remarkable enough to survive after I'm gone. But I think a lot of people who make stuff feel that way, and it's not our fault. There's some relief in that. I'm happy to have even a few people that care about me and my work, and something I've been trying really hard to remember in recent years is to take time to appreciate them. I'm not actually alone. I have a lot of people that love me. I'm not an outsider. I'm very lucky to know the people I do, and I hold a deep regret for all the connections I've let go of because I was just too sick. Deep down I really do wish I could love everyone. I have no ill will towards anyone, not really.

I still don't know what I'm doing. I am just doing my best, I think. I'm really, really tired. I don't want to get any older. I'm scared of the passage of time. My memory is so bad, it feels like time is taken from me without me realizing. I am 33 years old. I do not have 33 years worth of memories. There are huge leaps. Gaps where suddenly I was just older and in more pain. Being adrift in time like this is horrific - one day I will blink, and the present moment may be completely forgotten. It can't go this fast. It just can't. Something has to be wrong. I don't want to die, I don't want to miss out on so much life or be unable to remember it. I don't want to find myself on my deathbed someday way sooner than I think and be unable to string together any kind of coherent thread from my memories. What is it all for? It has to mean something right? Why am I doing anything?

I think I finally understand that love is why. I don't know much more than that. Love is real, and it's the answer. If you find love, don't take it for granted, ever. No love is perfect. Take it with all its flaws. You don't have time to bargain with it. Love like you'll never love again, love like it's your last day alive, love like it will keep you alive forever, because it will. Every year closer to death you get, you will feel the regret of all the times you did not follow your heart. Life is short. I'm finding this out entirely too late. It goes by so fast, and what you have at the end are people and memories of being loved. To be loved is to live forever. It's the thing that connects us to everything else. It's the source and the answer to everything. It makes more sense the older I get. It used to sound cheesy, but I believe it with more sincerity every day.

youtube

I kept my last promise to you - there are no new scars on my arms, or bruises on my head or face.

#mental health posting #is there a better tag for that

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monstersinthecosmos · 17 days

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kacy i wanna know how much of a perv you think daniel is LOL so much fic centers on armand dragging him through an experience *armand* wants. so like what's the ratio of daniel being a freak in his nature (and knowing this about himself) vs armand nurturing this trait into him?

My friend, I’m so glad you asked.

THE THING IS IVE GIVEN THIS A LOT OF THOUGHT and in some ways it’s like, what all of my Devil’s Minion fics are about LOL. And yet! I don’t have a simple answer to this question, the way real questions of nature vs nurture are complicated in the real world in real people!

But let me sketch out a framework of the way I’ve questioned this, and everyone might come to different conclusions and that’s the fun of fandom, because there can exist several thousand versions of Daniel based on the same text! AND I KNOW YOU KNOW THIS STUFF, I HOPE IT DOESN’T COME OFF AS MANSPLAINING LMAO but I’m excited to talk about this topic.

Here’s what we know unequivocally from the text:

Daniel is 20 years old in IWTV.

That’s it, that’s the whole list.

And here’s some fanon that people often try to extrapolate from the text:

💦 That he met Louis at a gay bar. UNCONFIRMED, but I think it’s likely? In the short story the bar is named the Pink Baby, I think that might be a gay bar or a dick reference idk lol.

💦 Whether or not the Pink Baby was a gay bar, he and Louis essentially cruised each other and left the bar together! Daniel has the excuse that he’s hunting for interviews for his job, Louis has the excuse that he’s an apex predator who preys on people, but ? Take this wherever you need to. (Also blah blah Ricean biting=sex symbolisms.)

💦 Was Daniel bisexual outside of the assumption that most of the VC characters are bisexual/omnisexual? The only clue we get is that when he and Armand practice voyeurism, he hooks up with men and women. There’s a lot of interesting information packed into the voyeurism paragraph, like this line: Yet he lay empty afterwards, staring at Armand, resentful, cold. and I’ve seen the “resentful, cold” comment dissected many times in fandom. Is it the general resentment of their whole relationship? Is it because he wants to fuck Armand and not randos? Is it because he only wants the Blood? Does he not consent to being used like a zoo animal? Is he gay and doesn’t want to fuck women? Is he straight (minus the orientation-defying vampire attraction) and doesn’t want to fuck men? I’ve seen all kinds of takes on this LOL. But still, no real definitive answer about his orientation in the text.

💦 What did the “roaming the bars of the world” comment mean? Sometimes I read Anne Rice’s language as being kinda lofty and exaggerated but was he ACTUALLY traveling the WHOLE WORLD or is he hyping up that he trolled bars in the Bay Area? Is he FROM the Bay Area or was it a stop in his travels? He worked for a radio station (not in the book, but mentioned in the short story + The Vampire Companion and The Alphabettery) so did he live here, even if he traveled a lot? Was he wealthy before vampires if he was traveling this much, if you think he was a traveler?

AND AFTER ALL THAT, here’s some extra questions where Daniel is FREE REAL ESTATE that every fan has the freedom to make the fuck up:

💦 How much sexual experience did he have at 20? Do we assume that by default as an Anne Rice character he probably had ample teenage sexual experiences, and if he did, is there a quality over quantity aspect to consider? Is the sex we have as teenagers like, all that to write home about LMAO. Do we really understand kinks yet, or do we need to grow up and gain some perspective first?

💦 As an Anne Rice character, by default, do we assume he & everything else is sexually charged LOL, are the interviews and cruising and taking people home a code for bringing partners home? What percentage of his interviews were also hookups?

💦 When we talk about nature vs nurture for kinkiness, how micro and macro is this? As a fellow Off the Cuffs fan I know you understand the “radioactive spider bite into kink” concept, and some kinks are so specific to our experiences. But BEING KINKY in itself IS nature, isn’t it? I’ve read some sex & kink theory that kink is (psychologically) more like an innate orientation. IE: in the way you can be straight or gay, some people are also by default turned on by being smacked or by whatever paraphilia. Whatever that thing is, the way it takes shape, is the nurture half. But like, many people can have the same experience and 99% of them don’t develop a paraphilia right? So I think that capability exists in kinky folks at all times, especially when so many of the radioactive spider bites are things that people discover in childhood. ANYWAY I RANTED but I say that to say; DANIEL MOLLOY IS A MONSTERFUCKER, IWTV IS THE PROOF THAT HE IS A MONSTERFUCKER. IT WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME.

So I bring up all those questions to encourage everyone to make up their own story with this, but I’ll tell you where I personally landed and how I approach it in my fics!!!

The Daniel in MY OWN fics is 20, single child, estranged from his parents, dropped out of college because he didn’t have ADHD support and was struggling, bisexual and promiscuous! I wonder if he went through that like college freshman thing where he got out of his parents house for the first time and partied a little too hard because he COULD! I like to read “bars of the world” as an exaggeration, I like to think he was a normal guy NOT globe hopping, sticking to the Bay Area, maybe he was out there for college, and guess what! There’s a thriving gay liberation culture there, so he finds some safe spaces to experiment with that!

However, I think the text leaves space to think he didn’t have a lot of close friends, or wasn’t close with his family, due to the way that he simply ✨fucks off ✨ after IWTV. NOW, that’s just me! Because there’s potential here for a TRAGEDY of people looking for him or grieving him! But idk I just like thinking that he was already on the outs and the interview pushed him over the edge.

So I ask like, does the 20 year old have a ton of kink experience? Is he good at sex? WHAT DOES RESENTFUL, COLD MEAN? Was he celibate during the chase years? Are the voyeurism sessions the first time he’s had sex since his old life? Even if he had random hookups during the chase years, was this qualitatively good sex? Can you truly get into good BDSM on a hookup or do you need a trusted partner? (This is subjective, idk, but!)

Also, how much kink is theoretical and private (to masturbate to) vs stuff you actually try? Especially if we believe that kink is nature, someone isn’t less kinky if they’re celibate, the way someone isn’t less gay if they’re celibate, or even a virgin. As Daniel becomes more and more obsessed with vampires, and with Armand, does it take over how he jerks off? Does he think about getting bitten? HE LIKES SNUGGLING WITH DEAD THINGS.

So like, there IS an element of Daniel being the unwilling witness of Armand’s rapidly shifting hyperfixations, and it’s natural that fandom pervs would extend that to sex acts and kinks. I LOVE IT, yes! It makes sense.

But when you say like, which one of them is in charge, I wonder if it’s relevant if we assume Daniel enjoys it. (Does he? Would he? Resentful, cold?)

Here’s some points that come to mind when I imagine it as purely Armand’s doing:

💦 People sometimes misunderstand BDSM dynamics when it comes to power and control, because BDSM is a consensual fantasy between two adults. The sub is just as in control, because they allow it. In that sense: Do we believe Armand respects Daniel’s consent? Would he force Daniel to participate if he wasn’t enjoying himself?

🩸 (How much can we compare this to Venice and how Armand was prepared for vampirism? I’m putting this in parentheses bc I’m putting a pin in this one, I CANNOT ADD A SUB-ESSAY INTO THIS POST ABOUT COMPARING VENICE TO DEVILS MINION but thinking of this too. Returning to the under-negotiated kink in Venice and how much is diegetic to the text, how does experiencing a spectrum of sexuality benefit someone’s last years alive ((sub-parentheses: does Armand flip-flop on turning Daniel as much as Marius did with Armand, does Armand subliminally know he’ll turn Daniel one day, does he go through these experiences as a precursor to turning Daniel eventually?)) are these experiences more for Armand to process the way he was groomed for asexual immortality vs being purely selfless and for Daniel’s benefit?)

💦 Armand uses Daniel as his usher into the modern age, and is it fair to assume he could sense Daniel’s kinkiness and knew that this was the person for him?

💦 How dubious is Daniel’s consent here? How addicted to Armand’s Blood is he by the time they start fucking around? Is he already within the throes of Ricean Omnisexuality where he’s down for whatever? Does the Blood influence this as well? Is there a secret subliminal violence creeping into your body when you’ve been drinking it again and again? What about less violent kinks, like your feederism fic? Does the Blood encourage all types of excess and consumption???

But if DANIEL is the driving force here, I still must consider:

💦 He meets Armand and his life essentially ends when he’s 20 years old. Was he really self-aware of his kinks? Did he know himself very well sexually yet?

💦 While exploring kinks can be mutually beneficial by sating Armand’s need for WEIRD HUMAN STUFF, maybe it IS something Daniel wants. It’s something he’s missing out on, because he checked out of regular human life when he was 20. Like, everyone’s different, so, I’m not saying that people can’t be sexually articulate at 20, but I know I fucking wasn’t! And I personally never fucked anyone that age who was good at it LMAO. So like how old would Daniel have been before he experimented enough to really know what he liked, and how much of him getting to know his sexuality involved Armand during the next decade?

💦 And this ties into Armand being his sugar daddy! That’s canon! Armand is his sugar daddy! If Daniel, at 28 years old, starts lamenting “I wish I’d gotten the chance to try watersports when I still had a normal life :( “ wouldn’t Armand have arranged that for him?

🩸 (Again let’s talk about Venice and what did Armand learn there about being the vampire lover, how much does he process and repeat on Daniel, and for whose benefit?)

💦 If Daniel is an innately kinky person, and realizes as he’s approaching 30 that he never really got to explore it properly, wouldn’t Armand usher him through that experience? Even if Armand didn’t plan to turn him, I wonder if he saw the window of Daniel’s mortal experience closing, maybe he worried that this is the type of thing people need to be wild about while they’re still so young. And outside of stigmatizing Daniel's age, it's also about how he was becoming less and less healthy, dying of alcoholism at 32, so there was a small window here for them to have sex adventures.

So basically, I’m saying that the nature half feels very much like Daniel being a monsterfucker, the nurture half is the actual experiences he got to have. And I don’t think he’d be in this situation in the first place if he wasn’t a bit of a monsterfucker, and wasn't a innately into danger and pain. Like, we don’t get a TON of examples but Gretchen and Babette didn’t try to fuck vampires! We know that vampires give humans the heebie jeebies! What kind of sick fuck is into that?!?!?!?

I don’t really have one single answer here. When it comes to the large library of kinks I think either of them can be blamed, and I also think it 100% makes sense to use Armand as a vehicle to write fic about them as if they’re another collection of human oddities for him to explore. But even using Armand’s weird bullshit to process that doesn’t mean it’s not mutually beneficial, and I think it gets into a fuzzier area that’s up to the writer when it comes to their take on the relationship, how dubious the consent is, how much do they actually like each other and get along? Can it be mutually beneficial in the end even if one person is driving? (see: the conversation about the second whipping scene in TVA and how it works out in the end.) Is it something they have fun agreeing to and negotiating in advance?

I can totally see how someone might write this as a fun thing that they talk about beforehand as easily as it could be Armand forcing mystery adventure on Daniel and suddenly he’s tied up in some shitty apartment in Hells Kitchen with some man pissing on him, and did he ever even reveal this kink to Armand or did Armand pull it out of his head?

The ship dynamic is so fucked up and coercive and resentful and toxic, even though there is real love here, so there’s this whole spectrum to use when you build your fanworks and headcanons!!!!!!! AND LIKE

IF IT’S COERCIVE AND FUCKED UP, DOES IT DRIVE THEM FURTHER APART OR BRING THEM CLOSER TOGETHER? IS DANIEL RESENTFUL AND COLD AND DOES THIS CAUSE FIGHTS? IS THIS A WAY FOR THEM TO PROCESS SOME OF THEIR COLDNESS AND RESENTMENT BECAUSE THEY AREN’T GOOD COMMUNICATORS? DO THEY DO BETTER AFTER THESE SESSIONS AND FEEL CLOSER BECAUSE THEY BROKE THROUGH SOMETHING NEITHER OF THEM KNEW HOW TO SAY?

Gosh idk.

Anyway I apologized in the beginning for mansplaining but I also want to apologize for this non answer LMFAO. I hope it doesn’t feel like a cop-out to not have a real answer, it’s just that I think there is such a rich context with a MENAGERIE of possibility !!!!!!!

#kink meta #deep ass thoughts about vampires #devil's minion #armand #daniel molloy #armand/daniel #vampire chronicles #am i writing meta on saturday night while im babysitting yes i am

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suthnmeh · 2 months

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Hihi I was wondering what dog and robots relationship was? I get that there were obviously friends, but some of the scenes were?? I'm asking is it up for interpretation or wat. I wanna know what someone that worked at the studio thinks atleast. Cuz I get that friends can hold hands and stuff but. ALSO that one song titled jealous dream, that scene always gets me sad . I've watched the movie like 10 times already

You’ve watched almost as many times as I have haha!

And yeah, I believe it’s pretty much up to interpretation, which is why I personally don’t like the French title “Mon ami Robot” which eliminates that nuance. Even at the studio, we couldn’t agree. And we don’t have to. I think the beauty of it being ambiguous is that you can extrapolate to whatever your personal experiences are, and who in your life these characters make you think about. Some people do see it as platonic, some see it romantic, or something else (overthinking can lead to weird conclusions XD).

Sara Varon, writer of the original comic, said she had put down her dog recently, and there was a bit of that in the story as well. But then ace people happen to see themselves a lot in their dynamic (including me^^). Not even Pablo Berger, the scriptwriter and director, specified what he was going for, if anything.

Dog and Robot to me have been several things, but they’ve always been the people that have made an impact in my life^^

#robot dreams #replies #are they... you know

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txttletale · 1 year

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What's worm? I can't exactly google it bcs of the name but I'm intrigued

worm (2011-2013) is a web novel about superheroes by a canadian author who goes by wildbow. it was published serially over the course of two years and in that time managed to get well over a million words long. i think it's very good for a couple reasons:

it takes an approach to 'deconstructing the superhero genre' that i don't think i've ever actually seen--instead of something like the boys or watchmen it doesn't extrapolate forwards from 'what would superheroes be like if they were real', but instead extrapolates backwards from 'what real-life conditions would have to exist to lead to superheroes acting like they do in comics'. the world of worm is believable, well-drawn, and interesting to inhabit

it has incredible character writing. this might not be one of the first things most people associate with it but wildbow has an amazing capacity for giving characters, even side characters that appear for half a chapter, extremely intriguing personal and internal conflicts. sometimes wildbow will write a chapter from the perspective of a side character you never see again and it will leave you wishing they had their own novel series. also despite a lot of problems wildbow has with Some Demographics, most of these well-developed characters are the female ones, who get to dominate the emotional landscape and the plot in a way that's refreshing to see tbh

the protagonist is great. a lot of attention is paid by some fans to the fact that she's a smart problem-solver, and that is true--her power is 'controlling bugs' in a world where other people can fly and shoot lasers, so she has to get smart with it. but i like her mostly because she's an extremely traumatised freak making horrible decisions and justifying them to herself post-hoc constantly. it's fun and interesting to be in her head

worm gets away from a lot of the more reactionary undertones that the superhero genre often fails to escape by making powers an in-universe result of (and, on a narrative level, a pretty clear metaphor) trauma. they are essentially coping mechanisms exaggerated to the point of superpower--because of this it neatly avoids two genre pitfalls because 1. there is no 'some people are better and stronger from birth' angle and 2. it mostly takes a social view of crime--supervillains in worm aren't cartoonish forces of evil (mostly), they are people who are marginalized and desperate.

the powers are cool. this is lower down on my personal list of reasons i like worm than many people's but it's undeniable true. each character has a strictly defined powerset with certain inbuilt limitations that both work to say volumes about their personality but also make fight scenes fun and interesting to read because wildbow puts a lot of thought into how they interact

this is not intentional and worm is at times downright homophobic but i would be lying if i said this didn't play a part in how i and most people i know think about worm: a queer reading of the main character is very easy to make, and the intense and at times tempestuous relationship she has to the girls around her is damn compelling. don't go into it expecting 'representation' or anything, wildbow has insisted at length that the main character is straight. but fr shes gay af

now all this said: there's a lot of nasty stuff that happens in worm. there is a lot of body horror and a lot of insect horror. there are so many instances of bugs being forced into human orifices in this book i could have filled out this list with that instead. so if that turns you off give this one a miss. child abuse and violence against children in general is also something that comes up semi-regularly.

and to expand on something i said in the post that i assumed prompted this question--when these topics come up, worm does a very very poor job of handling race and a better but still not great job with gender and sexuality. the world outside north america is sketched with a looseness and a lack of research that borders on caricature (i can think of like five organizations/characters that were very clearly named through google translate). the pacing takes a huge hit after a certain event in the back half of the story, and it can be a little exhausting to read because it is both thematically and literally about constant crisis and escalation.

still, if none of that is a dealbreaker for you, i'd recommend it 100%. i'm definitely glad i've read it. it's a powerful story about trauma and authority and control that does reward the outrageous time commitment it demands. there's also a fanmade audiobook if that sweetens the deal for you. i haven't listened to it but i've heard that it's pretty decent for a volunteer effort.

#ask #long post #worm #girlbossgoroakechi #somehow i doubt 'really homoertic but in a homophobic way' will be a dealbreaker for you . tumblr user girlbossgoroakechi

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rosiesdisneydrama · 7 months

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Funny thought I had at work:

What if Donald's family (mostly his sister/cousins) did notice him grieving after Uno was shut down?

Donald is upset about something but very tight-lipped about what and why. Up until one of them manages to get him to talk a little bit about it. (maybe Feathery? He seems like the sort who'd try to comfort someone without judging them or promising to listen no matter what) And then they all extrapolate/misinterpret the reason from the crumbs they worm out of him.

Donald, obviously, doesn't want to tell them that Ducklair shut down his AI friend, and kicked him out of the tower without giving him the chance to say goodbye. And he doesn't know if he'll ever see them again (if Ducklair ever reactivates Uno). It's something that he really doesn't know how to fix it or make it better.

What his family gets out of him are:

There was a secret floor to Ducklair Tower that Donald had a friend living in.

The friend couldn't leave the tower, or even that specific floor. They could only see the world outside through windows and cameras.

Donald's friend had a lot of respect/a previously very good relationship with Ducklair himself.

His friend is now "gone" and Donald doesn't think he'll ever see them again.

Ducklair's comments/behavior were really out of character compared to the previous times Donald had seen or spoken to them. Shockingly harsh/cold.

And, considering the wildness of their family, these facts get twisted in a really interesting way.

Eventually, after the rest of the family (I'm mostly picturing Della, Gladstone, and Fethry. Maybe Abner, for funsies) do some serious debating to piece it all together without upsetting Donald even more, they make a loose frame of what they think the core issue is.

The end result?

They think Uno is a secret son that Ducklair was hiding because he had serious health issues that meant he couldn't leave the tower. Potentially because whatever health equipment he needed was there and couldn't be moved. The specific tower he'd lived in had potentially been sold by accident and when Donald was registered as the caretaker of the tower the security system let him onto the floor that Uno had lived in.

Potentially, Uno was also the reason Donald kept bailing on them while he worked there. Because the super-sick heir lived in a super high-tech building made by a mad genius, so there was a non-zero chance that their cousin was beating back crooks and wannabe villains who thought they could steal stuff to attack the city there. They wish he had brought them in on it to help more if that was the case.

And, finally, that friend had likely passed away and Ducklair's mood change was potentially due to poorly handled grief. There is a small chance that Ducklair had pulled a plug due to not being able to find a cure but it's hard to imagine because the man never seemed the sort.

(Also, since they have no idea if Ducklair has ever been married, there is the possibility that his son was actually a clone because the man was a Mad Scientist and anything was possible with those types. Which could also explain why no one knew the son existed in the first place.)

But this is the Duck family, so this also played like it's a soap opera/telenovela. It gets wild, especially when Gladstone's luck brings Layla in and she fights to keep her laughter internal as she watches the trainwreck of errors from the cousins trying to piece together Donald's secret life.

Oh, and they also think Uno was Donald's boyfriend, and one of the reasons he never told them was to hide him from Scrooge.

#ducktales #donald duck #duck avenger #paperinik #disney duckverse #uno ducklair #everett ducklair #della duck #gladstone gander #fethry duck #lyla lay #duno

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sullina · 2 months

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WE ARE SHAKING HANDS. DISTRAUGHT OVER HANAZUKI....

IT WAS SO GOOD

IT WAS A SIMPLE CONCEPT OF "there's a big bad thing. Our heroes have to fight it, using the unconventional method of expressing ones emotions in a healthy way" AND THIS IS SO GOOD

IT'S NOT OVERLY CONVOLUTED

IT'S EASY TO UNDERSTAND

BUT YOU CAN DO SO MUCH WITH IT

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY DIFFERENT THINGS CAN INFLUENCE ONES EMOTIONS???

and even just what we GOT from Hanazuki already speaks of the potential the show had!

there's Hanazuki, obv, who's a healthy moonflower. She can grow treasure trees with little difficulty, and she can grow just about every kind of treasure tree.

Kiazuki, presumably, used to be a lot like Hanazuki, but she was unable to grow even a single treasure tree, so the "big bad" got her moon and all her little guys, except for one, are gone. From what I remember of the show, i can extrapolate, that either the big bad got her too soon, destroying her moon before she was able to grow a treasure tree. And since all "little guys" represent the range of emotions and are, presumably, supposed to help moonflowers grow treasure trees, Kiazukis little guys were probably lost sometime between after she came into existence and before the big bad got her moon. This loss left her depressed and angry and cold, effectively cutting her off from her ability to grow any treasure trees at all. And then Kiazuki meets Hanazuki and she's the villain for a while, but once they become friends, Kiazuki relearns, or rather learns for the first time, how to feel emotions. You don't see this kind of character arc often. We don't know exactly what happened, except for the fact that her moon was destroyed, but it's pretty obvious that it was traumatic for her, but instead of being reduced to the perfect victim, Kiazuki was made cold and angry and a villain. And only when this is acknowledged (by Hanazuki in this case) does she start to heal from it. And just as important is how Hanazuki, instead of getting angry with her and pushing her away indefinitely, instead showed understanding and helped her, even when Kiazuki stole Hanazukis treasure trees. It would've been easy for Hanazuki and the show to just dismiss Kiazuki as a cold hearted villain with evil intentions, but they didn't. And I just love that so much.

Then, in a similar strain to Kiazuki, there's Kiyoshi. He experienced a different kind of trauma to her, where instead of outside forces taking everything away, his own friends betrayed him and pushed him away. it's been a while since i watched it, but didn't they also, like... have him wanted like a criminal? Pretty harsh stuff anyway. So Kiyoshi, alone and betrayed, he still felt one emotion, but that emotion was sheer hopelessness. It's the only emotion he could feel anymore, because what else was he supposed to do? He was on his own and his former friends turned against him, there was nothing he could do.

Maroshi was introduced fairly late, but it's pretty clear that his way is the path of least resistance. If something bad happens, his go to response is "oh well, nothing I can do" and he gives up. According to the wiki, he didn't have any treasures available to protect his moon with in the first place, which does leave me wondering why? Hanazuki recieved her first treasure pretty much right after she was born, and both Kiazuki and Kiyoshi got plenty of treasures, despite one not being able to grow any and the other only being able to grow black trees. Did little dreamer not give him any on purpose? Did he forget about him? Seems unlikely, but it's pretty obvious that Maroshi wasn't born right before the big bad struck his moon, since him, Kiyoshi and Kiazuki had formed the Garlandians.

Miyumi was introduced last, only appearing in one single episode. Her attitude seems to be denial, since she seems to ignore any problem she comes across until Hanazuki could finally make her open her eyes to the fact that her little guys were being kidnapped. I don't have much to write about Miyumi. I mean, she was in one single episode.

But the introduction of the new unknown villain who kidnapped her little guys was so interesting and could've been so big! ESPECIALLY, because Kiazukis little guys were ALSO kidnapped like that!

WHO WAS THIS VILLAIN???

WHY ARE THEY GATHERING LITTLE GUYS FROM THE MOONS???

ARE THEY STRAIGHT UP EVIL OR JUST TRYING TO PROTECT THEMSELVES LIKE KIAZUKI TRIED TO???

AND WHAT

EVEN

THE BIG BAD??????

THIS SHOW WAS CANCELLED BEFORE ITS TIME AND I WILL FOREVER BE DISTRAUGHT ABOUT IT

ESPECIALLY, but not exclusively, BECAUSE IT WAS SUCH AN INNOVATIVE CONCEPT!!!!!!!!!

#SCREAMING CRYING HOWLING IN DISTRESS #IT WAS SO GOOD TOT TOT TOT #Hanazuki #hanazuki full of treasures #kiazuki #kiyoshi #maroshi #miyumi

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oodlyenough · 12 days

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Regarding how long it took Trucy to call Phoenix "Papa". I think the better question is how long did it take for her to actually mean it. Same for Phoenix genuinely thinking of Trucy as his daughter and not a little kid he needed to help and take care of

Well, see, that's kind of the trajectory I expected to begin with -- how many years into those 7 was it before she started seeing him as "dad" enough to say it, etc. I didn't expect the game to have an answer to that and had speculated about what that might've been like only for the game to give... a pretty unsatisfactory (imo) canon answer.

But you're right, saying it VS meaning it are still different things. I don't have any specific timeframe in mind but I imagine it happened faster with Phoenix, because I think (and he says as much in canon) he really latched onto Trucy and that relationship post-disbarment, and also Phoenix is a pretty ... emotionally intense dude who needs to be needed. It's easy for me to imagine him focusing all his emotional energy on Trucy and getting super invested very quickly.

Trucy I find it much harder to speculate about because I don't think the game gives us a good sense of her interiority. I got the impression throughout 4 that she was keeping plenty of secrets (another post I've been thinking about: how much did she know in 4-1 because my impression is "everything") and so I feel like I can only guess at what she was thinking. She's unreasonably chipper in that first scene with Phoenix, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt in assuming it's largely for show. Maybe she felt she had to put on a show for Phoenix so he'd keep her around, in which case how long was it before she let that drop for the first time, and how long before she naturally thought of him first for comfort/etc instead of Zak... 🤔 I don't know but I would imagine it took her longer than Phoenix.

In general I wish 4 had given us more of them interacting together and more genuine moments. Phoenix says at the end that he's the only one who knows how she really feels, which I totally believe (again she seems like she's performing, even to Apollo) and I like the idea of them as this tight knit and sort of... secretive little unit, a double act. But we don't get to see it in action much and a lot of the references to him Trucy makes are just played for laughs or to make Apollo even more suspicious of him.

I also think Trucy looking up to/missing/wanting to emulate the Gramaryes is understandable but interesting vs Phoenix knowing they're a toxic murder polycule and wanting to shield her from that without (presumably) wanting to disillusion her. Also fandom lied to me about older Trucy's costume being blue because of Phoenix, it's Thalassa's costume 😭 which made me sad for him ngl... another fic idea among many.

This got really long and mostly off topic sorry lol, I've been rotating Trucy and Phoenix in my head since starting AA4 and, like most things in AA4, there's so much cool stuff to extrapolate on that canon just kinda... suggests without ever diving into. Much to think about

#anon #you've got questions we've got answers #ace attorney #aa4 spoilers #oodly plays AA #trucy wright #phoenix wright

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pochapal · 10 months

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32! Do you like HS^2?

i...genuinely do! i think sometimes there's a half-conception that based on the mere premise of my fics that i don't like postcanon all that much (omelette route was misconstrued as an epilogues fix-it fic in certain circles and pickle route is still sometimes seen as a "better version" of hs^2) even though everything i write is in direct conversation with and comes from a place of admiration for hs^2/the epilogues.

with hs^2 in particular i think it had some really electric ideas that we only got to see the very first brushstrokes of (thinking most pertinently here about whatever was going to go down on deltritus that we never saw) that, if they'd been able to get off the ground, probably would have eclipsed the epilogues as the most interesting part of homestuck. from the bits we saw the meat timeline stuff was definitely the weakest. outside of the jade/altcallie possession chapter a lot of that half of the story was fairly unsurprising character-driven extrapolation of the same angst we departed the epilogues with - and i largely agree with @hms-no-fun that some kind of timeskip here would have helped it feel a little less repetitive (although arguably there might have been? three years definitely passed with dirk et al but it was very up in the air as to how long it had been for the pursuit spaceship crew). i get why that never happened - both meat and candy were being told in tandem and candy ended on a buildup to an immediate conflict that needed to be followed in real time versus meat's meandering slingshot towards something more nebulous, so for the sake of structural symmetry that limited things a little.

i think i'm more amenable to a lot of hs^2's storytelling decisions because i wholly and entirely loved the epilogues from the getgo and it was so good to see that theme/tone be carried through to a more "traditional" mspa space, even if i wonder if the comic form damaged the story more than it helped it. i remember a lot of people getting weirdly mad whenever we'd get an extended prose scene instead of visual panels despite hs^2 being a continuation of the text-based epilogues. then again, the mainstream hs fandom as a whole fucking sucked when it came to postcanon and that's even more evident in how they've collectively memoryholed the whole thing so talking about audience reception is maybe not the most useful thing to talk about here lmao. idk i think people forget that homestuck is largely a story about people who suck and then who get better from sucking. it's just that nobody really likes it when that lens is turned inward onto the alphas/betas who outside of a small handful of exceptions in canon never really had any ethical issues that caused problems for them and others so i personally think it was very interesting and refreshing to explore how the kids' complacency wrt their baggage and trauma allowed them and their world to backslide so disastrously! roxy lalonde enabling jane's fascist ascension is fascinating storytelling actually! (side note: read through shadowed eyes)

hs^2's original characterwork is probably where the story shines the most. the fucked up dynamics between the theseus crew was super fun to read because there's honestly nothing more enjoyable than Supremely Divorced people deciding that makes them irredeemably evil now. the egbert gender stuff was really nice! i particularly enjoyed how, even though it came after the june egbert renaissance, it still managed to be its own unique take on egbert's gender arc that i think really encapsulated the originality driving the project. also forever shoutout to the candy kids my beloved candy kids my children who i will die for - for me in particular hs^2 was a fun time because i was developing my own versions of harry/vrissy/tav for pickle route in parallel to hs^2 and it was so enjoyable seeing all the overlaps and divergences with each upd8. also yiffy fucking rules on every level and even though she never got to be more than a promise she sure was one hell of a promise.

that said i do not think it's that surprising that hs^2 ultimately died before its time. the conditions of the story paired with the most demoralising and vicious iteration of the fandom meant the odds were stacked against it in a big way. you can particularly see the strain of that starting to manifest in the final ~6 months worth of upd8s where people were leaving/being pushed out of the project and every part of hs^2 was a completely hostile environment and the quality of the art and storytelling began to get a little shaky - which i can't really blame them for all things considered! it's hard to want to make the best version of a story possible when the overwhelming reception is a bunch of sanctimonious redditbrained weirdos screaming that you're evil and foul for making characters in a piece of fiction do unexpected and surprising things and also being sympathetic to trans women. there were of course issues with the production conditions of hs^2 that would have probably led to some sort of reckoning at some point, but it's very obvious that the traumatic pressure cooker of a fanbase that wanted nothing more than the death of this project and the ruination of everyone that worked on it threw this whole thing off the rails much faster. despite that, you still have to infinitely admire the team for daring to make something challenging and original in a sphere dominated by people who are content to regurgitate the same babybrained 2013 content ad infinitum - for just a brief moment, homestuck was truly allowed to be the literary masterpiece it's been all along. now people just treat it as more fandomslop to consume and that's perhaps the biggest shame of all.

in the end i think hs^2's legacy is best felt in the places haunted by its premature absence. i'm talking about the comic itself of course but also other spaces and people and projects. stuff that really engaged with the meaty thematic frameworks being thrown up in postcanon that now no longer have a mirror to talk back to - stuff like pesterquest and godfeels and the aforementioned through shadowed eyes that all massively are in conversation with the deeper artistic and philosophical principles underpinning this era of homestuck. if anything else hs^2 will continue to serve as a useful prerequisite for getting into some of the best stuff homestuck fans have ever made. we might never see what could have been, but at least the torch is still being carried by people who care.

#spaceengineerjulia #homestuck asks #homestuck^2 #long post #i had more opinions on this than i'd previously thought lmao

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thewertsearch · 1 year

Text

Trolls Made Our Universe: The Analysis

Let's talk about it.

Looking back, it's pretty clear that this was always our destination. The comic's scope has been on an upward trajectory for thousands of pages, and the Ultimate Alchemy hype has been building since midway through Act 4.

Hell, even I thought the planet I theorized about was just going to be a stepping stone to something bigger. Homestuck just keeps escalating - we might not even stop here, although I can't predict what the next step would be, since we're working with multiple varieties of multiverse already.

Anyway, this reveal confirms that Sburb's grandstanding about the Players' importance isn't just hot air - they really do serve a critical purpose. Assertions that this 'purpose' is more important than saving Earth are still dubious - but now, I can at least understand the coldly utilitarian place the game is coming from.

I still don't know why it has to work this way, but now I finally know what's happening. Earth's universe was born from the blood of Alternia, and the kids were created to perpetuate the cycle again, creating a new universe from the blood of Earth.

Close! It was less of a gasp, though, and more of an under-the-breath 'what the fuck'. I don't know why a universe surprised me as much as it did - like I said, I was already half-expecting a planet!

I think the real sticking point is the difference in scale - and, as a consequence, the difference in Grist cost.

It makes a certain intuitive sense that you could convert the Denizen Grist into a planet - comparable in size, presumably, to the planetoids that the Denizens call home. But a universe is an entirely different animal, one which would dwarf the Incipisphere by dozens of orders of magnitude.

Extrapolating from the typical volume of a Grist piece, four Land-sized vaults of the stuff wouldn't be nearly enough. Even if Denizen Grist is a million times more valuable than normal, and each Denizen released a million times the Incipisphere's volume in Grist, it still wouldn't be nearly enough.

I guess the game could just hardcode the Grist cost of a universe down to a manageable value, but that would break the game's own rules, and doesn't seem in spirit with how its progression system works.

No, I think something screwy must be going on with the Denizen hoards. Maybe they're full of special Grist, each piece of which is worth 1e70 normal pieces - or maybe picking them up actually multiplies the value of your grist cache, rather than adding to it.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the hoards are this comically large. After all, their value is beyond even Vriska's imagination.

The exact mechanics here are definitely worth speculating about. Let's talk about how, exactly, this universe may have come to be. The trolls obviously can't have crafted this thing atom-by-atom, or even planet-by-planet - not unless Aradia took them into the Hyperbolic Time Chamber for a billion years of blueprinting.

A lot of Alternian culture is integrated into Earth, though, and it had to get there somehow. In keeping with what anon said, I think these ideas were sort of 'merged' into the universe when it was created.

After all, Sburb is all about merging ideas, and we've been working with idea-merging machines since day one!

The trolls alchemized their universe, even if they didn't use a traditional Alchemiter to do so. If they wanted their universe to exhibit certain traits, all they needed to do was feed it certain ingredients, merging them with whatever 'universe' object they presumably gained access to at the end of the game. I'm just going to call it the seed.

Maybe the reason humans look so much like trolls is because the trolls inserted their codes into their universe's alchemy recipe, perhaps attempting to revive the troll species without the Matriorb.

Wait, scratch that.

Maybe the reason humans look so much like trolls, and have red blood, is because one specific troll's code ended up in their recipe.

Come to think of it - since we're already doing large-scale alchemy, there's a pretty easy way for the trolls to ensure that every trait they want ends up in their new universe.

All they'd need is a fetch modus and a drawing tablet.

If you're being evicted into a new universe, you might as well make it feel like home.

Adding Alternia's code to the seed would, in one fell swoop, explain all the facets of troll culture observed on Earth. It would also, in a way, 'resurrect' the troll homeworld without truly reviving it - a bittersweet prize for our victorious Players.

As mentioned above, it would be weird if Earth was the only planet to inherit DNA from Old Man Alternia. It would make sense if each civilization exhibited different Alternian traits - like, maybe there's an exoplanet out there somewhere where lusi evolved, and another where everyone has the same necromantic powers as Aradia.

It also means the universe was probably full of space empires. If the meteors didn't get Earth, Neo-Alternia might have eventually come knocking...

I also think I was conflating the signs on the trolls' clothes with the signs of the Alternian Zodiac, without considering that those might be two entirely different sets of 'signs'. The trolls themselves never refer to Cancer or Aquarius as Zodiac signs, after all. Maybe the Extended Zodiac is a different thing entirely.

Anyway - yeah, that is interesting. The kids' universe was created by twelve Players, and now its stars bear their signature - so whose signature is embedded in the trolls' stars?

An implied 48-Player session sounds amazing. Doubly so, if Hussie's using Squiddles to imply a Horrorterror session. That's an absolutely fascinating idea, on so many levels, and I do hope we see the trolls speculating about their own creators at some point.

Of course, this 48-sign Squiddles stuff could also be a red herring. I'm getting used to how this comic works, and just so it's on record...

...this is what I suspect is actually going on.

In any case, I'm as hyped as you all are!

Hussie's hand has finally been shown, and Homestuck has been revealed as the creation myth that had been built up all along. I can't wait to see what's next.

#homestuck liveblog #full liveblog #act 5 #theories #deep dives #asks

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mrgaretcarter · 1 year

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This is going to be long and sort of a bummer, so if you’re enjoying this season of Ted Lasso and are satisfied with Ted and Rebecca’s individual and joint storylines don’t let me ruin it, just scroll past.

Right out the gate I’ll say, this references up to 3x09, maybe the last 3 eps will turn everything around and it’ll all be wonderful once more, I sure hope it, I just gotta to get my right now feelings out of my chest, okay?

So, I’ve been unsatisfied with this season in general for a while, but this is just going to be about Ted and T/R: for the past couple days I’ve been chatting with people a lot trying to figure out what the actual problem with them is, because it’s not just that I haven’t been enjoying it on the show, it’s that I haven’t been able to access them in my own head, not even to daydream, and yesterday I think I finally got it.

At first I thought the problem was the distance, you know, no scenes together, nothing to jolt the imagination, and that’s definitely part of it, but I realized that, at the moment, it’s not just that. The problem, the real problem, is Ted. I just don’t really like him right now, and I know that sounds harsh, but I don’t know what else to say!!

My favorite thing about Ted was the fact that he was nurturing. I know we all say he is such a Dad™️ (and he is), but for real, what he actually is, is motherly. I know that sounds nuts, but even if nobody consciously thinks this, that is how he is interpreted; it’s in the fic, it’s in the art, it’s in the meta, but I’m not gonna get into explaining my reasoning there, cause my point is just that I love that about him!

Straight male characters can be providers and protectors (and Ted is that too, to an extent), but only very rarely are they nurturers, very rarely are they primarily home and hearth (right now the only other popular example I can think of is Peeta Mellark, and sooo many people did not like him for exactly those traits!), so it was interesting and exciting to me that Ted had these characteristics! And I say had because we haven’t seen that from him, as in, we haven’t seen him take care of others in a significant way, in forever.

Mind you, he was isolated for most of s2 as well, but we had a very clear reason for it then, but now? He’s had a couple good coaching moments this season, one good speech, he’s still a leader and a point of reference, but he hasn’t been nurturing (not even with his actual literal son lately).

This’s been the problem with him to me. I feel like this Ted lacks the very thing that made me love him, and who (I thought) he was, was an essential part of me shipping him and Rebecca, because the thing she needed most was that care.

The fact that I thought that he was so hungry to give, while she was so starved is the very thing that was appealing about them, but he hasn’t cared for her since I couldn’t even say when (funeral?), and what’s worse, it’s not just her, it’s everyone. He’s been completely on his own, so I haven’t even been able to imagine him that way anymore, which means I have no recent point of reference to extrapolate from in order to make up my silly little scenarios, so you can see how frustrated I am! (Feels important at this stage to say, to those who don’t know me, that I’m quite attached to canon, I need a foothold to picture things).

The other thing that makes this worse is that Rebecca has remained consistent. She still cares about him. She checks in, she worries, she asks after him, she’s eager to help him and does. She is still pulling her weight, but Ted is nearly a blank. He said “Our run-ins” and then all he did was criticize her about the Rupert stuff, and don’t get me wrong!! I’m not stupid, I know he was right and that her resentment and obsession would only bring her down, I’m glad he held her accountable in that way, but I wish he would’ve also had her back at the same time instead of just offering the moral lesson.

Also, I ship them, obviously, but none of this is even inherently romantic, I just wish they were important to each other again, which I’m sure even people who believe they’re only friends and platonic soulmates would agree with. And if I can’t have that, I’d at least like to have Ted feel like himself.

Anyway, I hope this makes sense, pleeeease don’t be mean to me, and again, maybe the last 3 will make me change my mind completely, I definitely would like to enjoy the final stretch.

#ted x rebecca #tedbecca #Feeling a deep seated sense of dread as i hit post on this #ted lasso spoilers #ish #ted lasso #tl ramblings

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olderthannetfic · 7 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/728886929370857472/httpswwwtumblrcomolderthannetfic728767139305

Agree with this. I mean I’m an academic who in grad school was often in discussions with people who were Terminally Online, but the dumb ways they applied tumblr discourse in class were usually the least of their problems (as in they were often awful people in their ACTIONS outside of class. That said I’ll never forget the person, who was not a gay or bisexual man himself but was a straight trans man who acted like that identity meant he could speak for the entire LGBTQ community based on stuff he read on Tumblr and never doing the actual class reading, claiming that the way Wayne Koestenbaum described gay man’s attachment to female opera divas in The Queen’s Throat had “consent issues.” This was a guy who later got investigated by Title IX for graphically discussing his sex life with other grad students, including female TAs when he was a student instructor).

But I think where I saw the most obnoxious and insidious ways that Tumblr discourse shit infected irl academic discourse was you’d have some older academic who wasn’t super online but cared a lot about social justice and wanting to do the right thing, and would hear about some concept third hand and think it sounded good and not have the broader context a regular Tumblr, Twitter, etc. person would have to know why it wasn’t, or that the person behind it was abusive or didn’t really know their stuff (I’m thinking about stuff like Medieval POC being promoted by academics who just liked the idea of highlighting more instances of POC in pre-modern European history, didn’t know that the person behind it was a racefaker with a history of deeply racist statements, and weren’t specifically art historians or really digging all that deep into her posts to know that she was getting some basic stuff wrong). My frustration a lot as a grad student who is familiar with Tumblr, and with the feminist blogosphere of the late 00s/early 10s before it where a lot of “Tumblr social justice” first developed, was trying to explain that there were people within that culture who were pro-SJ and feminist and antiracist and so on, and from marginalized groups themselves, who had legitimate objections to these concepts being applied to academia that didn’t come from unfamiliarity or “college students just need to grow up” style thinking that you saw in Jonathan Chait style thinkpieces.

For instance, I objected to and continue to object to “mandatory trigger warnings” because I’ve read about and seen in action how they’re often used by students to box in female and POC faculty — already disproportionately hurt by student evaluations — for not running their class or discussing issues of race, gender, etc. in a way that perfectly fits their ideas from Online Discourse. They’re harder on us for this than similar white male faculty, especially older ones, and older white male allies need to be more aware of this when they extrapolate from their own experiences. (Also students IME will get way angrier if a film by or about marginalized people is “triggering” even though it’s impossible to show some aspects of systemic misogyny or racism on screen without doing that — think movies like Do the Right Thing — than they will a similarly “triggering” film by and about white dudes that has no larger Social Point to Make with its triggering content. And I say this as someone who always gives students a heads up beforehand, but some really think that those movies shouldn’t be shown AT ALL and I’m increasingly getting students asking me to accommodate trigger warning requests for vague Tumblr stuff like “unreality” and I’m so tired.)

Thanks for letting me rant about “Tumblr SJ” and academia in your inbox lol

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