#I had to delete a paragraph bc I was just embarrassing myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ms-hells-bells · 1 year

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okay so i just turned seventeen, but last year in may i was sixteen and back then i logged into this spam account i used to have that i abandoned, and i had a bunch of old msg's from my friends but i only answered one, it was from my old male best friend who i used to sorta date but the point is he asked me how i was doing, if i moved bc i hadnt been active on anything or answering anyones messages for over a year, i just said 'good' and kept my answers brief but then he said 'is there anything new with you?' and this is the part where i messed up bad, i couldnt take the pain anymore and i asked him to keep this between us, he said yes, and i told him 1. i got raped 2. there was a vid sent to me 3. i am 2m pregnant because i felt sick about telling my family, he was the first person i told just to try to make myself feel better and he said "Thank you for telling me" and left it at that

this is seriously fucking haunting me, sorry if im dramatic but looking back i think he definitely told his friends, he was uncomfortable, or didnt care and whenever i sleep at night i get reminded of it and i just feel so awful inside, i dont know how to make myself feel better and i couldnt take the embarrassment of messaging him on that exact account so i used another one of my spams and told him happy birthday a few months ago, he said thank you hes thinking of me blahblah but (not that its a big deal) he didnt even tell me happy birthday and i feel like he doesnt care about me or the times we had, i thought maybe he didnt know what to say (bc wtf is thank you for telling me???? or let know know if that was a normal reply and these paragraphs are not a big deal) but then i had to remind myself that okay, he's twenty and he was probably uncomfortable especially because we hadnt talked in 1year+. of course i apologized bc it was kinda trauma dumping on him but im so embarrassed how do i overcome it, should i delete the messages??? i think that could help but im also too embarassed to reread them i feel like i should kms the humiliation is unreal

i thought time would fix it but its been 9 months. time did not help me. if you dont have a solution ty anyways and im probably going to delete the msgs once i can bring myself to log in

first of all, i'm so sorry that that happened to you, that's awful.

i think you really need therapy, you've gone through a terrible thing, and you feel extremely alone and terrified of being judged. he responded the only way he could to hearing something like that, i think 'thank you for telling me' means 'thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this' as it can be so hard to tell that to someone. a lot of people also don't like saying 'sorry' because it comes off as disingenuous, so i think 'thank you for telling me' is the best response he could have given in that situation, especially as an older male talking to you (16 vs 20).

i think that, though it'll be hard, you need to stop thinking about it. you confided in someone you had trust with, he responded in a supportive way, and you haven't brought it up afterwards, meaning there's very little chance that he felt 'trauma dumped' on or extremely uncomfortable (of course, it'd be uncomfortable to hear that, but that's a natural reaction out of empathy). you told him, that's it, it's best to move on. it's so hard to with anxiety, where you overthink everything that you do and say, and others' reactions, but i found that the best thing to do is just take things like this at face value. he provided the appropriate support an acquaintance would, you got it off your chest to someone, and you both proceed with the best path forward; he continues chatting with you casually when it comes up, given you're living different and physically separated lives, and you continue the process of healing from your trauma.

tldr: you did nothing wrong, you were vulnerable and needed someone to talk to. he responded a bit awkwardly, but in good faith, and is continuing to talk to you in the appropriate amount for a somewhat out of contact old friend. nothing to regret, it's just a matter of finding a proper outlet for you via therapy and support from people who are physically present and closer (personally) to you in order to healthily cope with your trauma.

i hope any of this helps.

#rape tw

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gumdecay · 5 years

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#ehhhhhhhh dnt interact w this if ur cishet lol but uhhh ive been thinking. a Lot lately abt. the ways in which m attracted 2 ppl n y :')#like i think mostly its bc i see so mny posts abt it lately that go into rlly good detail w/o being overwhelming?? so like.i can actually #read them n understand them instead of getting a paragraph in n my brain Melting like mostshit abt sexualitydbgjhfhg but.#like i can nvr figure out where. my sexuality rlly lies. like. when im attracted 2 / dating / fucking men my only real goal is making them #feel good?? making them feel Better?? giving them myself?? to the point where the One Time i was in a healthy relationship n knew id get #my needs met if i expressed them i just. had no fucking clue How to express them bc itd nvr been possible b4??#n its just. not like that w nyone else ive been attracted 2 / dated / fucked like. i mean in some ways it has bc the Trauma lol but.#in general i was able 2 communicate more clearly n i wasnt so. terrified of Fucking Up? evn tho i wanted them 2 last more than i usually #wanted my relationships w men 2 last?? like?? hnstly i think my attraction 2 men is. half Trauma Response half. wanting 2 b Like Them.#wanting 2 b them. not wanting 2 b With Them. like uhhhh im not binary trans i dnt THink bc the idea of being referred 2 as a man #makes me feel sick (again bc of. the Trauma.lol) but i want 2 b masculine. i want 2 emulate men w/o. being. a man. if that makes ny sense #idk. i wish evrything wasnt so difficult 2 figure out. i feel like my identity has changed so frequently ovr the yrs n then i finally #settled into agender/bi n like. now its uhhhh Not Quite That! lol! i just. idk. theres not evn a point 2 this post rlly im just talking bc #all these thotshave been circling in my brain nonstop for like. weeks now. i mean longer than weeks but. the last few weeks its been Nonstop #where usually i think abt it. not so frequently n definitely not Constantly. so.idk. this is embarrassing i will probably delete it later

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jackwolfes · 2 years

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ooh can i ask for 6, 7 (slln and west stave wylan? also u don’t have to speak if u don’t want to lol), and 8? 🖤🖤

[questions]

6 what is your favourite sense to incorporate in your writing and why?

probably unsurprising given what i write, but touch? i'm working on a very fun kaz/wylan fic that's very very touch/physical sensation focused and i'm v excited to share 👀 i think i just struggle with other senses though 😅

7 what is you favourite sentence/paragraph? read it to us! (asker can choose what fic)

for SLLN: He’s alive to hold these little notes in his hands. He’s alive enough to find someone to read them for him, just as much as he’s alive to leave them and never know what they say. He’s alive just to feel how he feels and that is a wondrous thing. (this is my fave set of lines for like, any fic i've written)

for WSW: the entire section that starts "He didn’t cry the first night." which i'll put below a read-more and expand on (mostly bc triggers!!)

also i would read aloud for yall if i possibly knew how 😂

8 if you got a computer virus that deleted all your fics but had just enough time to save one before they were wiped out, which fic would you pick and why?

i mean probably west stave wylan 😅 it feels a bit like a flagship piece of content for me, and something really wonderfully unique! a close second is silly little love notes though -- probably more because i know that's really relatable to a lot of people <3

anyway some WSW below the cut (tw for sexual assault)

so, this entire section i feel really gets to the core of WSW, and i really liked how it turned out. like, it really hits the gruesome side of things as well as the banalities of, he just wants to take a fucking nap and he's so glad to just be safe and alive and have a bed, even with all this absolutely horrid stuff happening to him. which, as a reader i kind of hate because it's so uncomfortable and cutting and brutal, but as a writer to invoke those feelings (even in myself) is really gratifying. it also sets up this AU's version of Wylan, who's so utterly jaded and beat down in a way that canon-verse Wylan absolutely isnt

He didn’t cry the first night.

He knows people wanted him to, but he didn’t have it in him to. Even with the unfamiliarity of hands on him, in him - saints, that had been a lot - and the tiny twinges of pain. Not even when his first kiss was taken by a woman that was already on top of him. His first time, with a woman that made him beg and blush a fierce, embarrassed red. His first orgasm with another person, wrenched from him by a man that laughed when he gasped, startled and confused and kind of uncomfortable.

More than a few firsts, and a steep learning curve, and exhaustion and discomfort and an excess of people.

But he didn’t cry.

He wasn’t sad, he wasn’t hurt, and he didn’t regret it.

He was just relieved to have a warm bed. To know that he’d wake up and get food, to know he’d have money left over to buy himself more.

#asks #anon

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queeranesearch · 3 years

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@harutheestallion Thank you so much for the tag, Arthur!! I kith you, mwah!

(This ended up being way longer than I thought it’d be bc I got so caught up in talking about OTHER people’s writing lmfao, so I’m putting a ‘keep reading’)

Prompt - share your:

First fic: Uuugh god..When I was 11/12 I was really into Attack on Titan, and in my Year 8 English Lit class we had lessons where we did creative writing so of course I wrote an Armin-centric high-school AU. It haunts me to this day but it was so funny to read again later on. But the first fic I actually posted online was a Moomin one, back in 2019. Moomins was (and still is thb) a big comfort media for me, and it always helped me feel better when I was going through some really bad anxiety. I was also very insecure about my writing and hadn’t written anything in years, but I was very attached to the characters and there wasn’t that much content of them so I thought “Fuck it. This is gonna be very self-indulgent. If other people like it then great, but really this is for me.” I did end up getting way more kudos and comments than I thought I would and loads of lovely comments. I read it again a little while ago and the writing is a but rusty, and my paragraphing isn’t great, but it’s really sweet and I had a lot of fun writing it and I think that shines through.

Favourite fic: Dude, I cannot pick one favourite fic, so I’m gonna list a few that came to mind: Hooked by @listless-brainrot - aka THE jetru fic. I will forever scream about List’s writing. The way he’s able to take such a character with one episode, and see the potential pour so much life into him is amazing. He writes Haru with so much nuanced realness, and seeing things though his perspective makes for such an immersive read and gives beautiful insight into his thoughts and wants. I cannot recommend it enough.

Sing a little louder, laugh a little softer by @chief-yue - Such lovely fic exploring the music of cultures ATLA was inspired by. I had the biggest smile on my face reading this; Katrina really captures the dynamic of the Gaang wonderfully, and her descriptions are vivid and heartwarming.

Two Sturdy Oaks by @rileyblxu - A Dead Poets Society fic and one of my comfort fics ajklasd. The author writes Neil and Todd perfectly; Like if you told me this fic was actually deleted scenes from the movie I would believe you 100%. The dialogue between all the characters is spot on, and the trusting relationship both Neil and Todd have with Mr Keating is so heart-warming to read, and the descriptions were so tender and full of so much love and pining,,dude I actually cried a little. PLUS the use of poems at the beginning of the chapters?? Absolutely iconic for setting the tone. Love it.

Not Ready To Make Nice by @harutheestallion - Tagging you twice hehe. Arthur’s characterization of Jet kills me DEAD. They have so many little nuanced details about Jet, but also how he sees other people and the world around him. They have such a strong grasp on his character; every action he makes in this fic is written cleverly wand with such clear thought put behind it, and Jet’s perseverance and bitterness but also his kindness and desire to protect others really shines through. And HAMA. She’s written perfectly too; so similar to Jet in many ways but also more ‘jaded’ and less hopeful. Their dynamic is so interesting to read and watching them become gradually closer is so lovely.

Henna by @miannmian - I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; Simran is the QUEEN of fluff. This is one of their shorter works, but it’s packed of such tender characterization. The descriptions are written with so much care and warmth, you can practically feel the love these Jet and Haru have for each other. It’s sweet, it’s domestic, and it makes my heart swell each time I read it.

Can’t Make An Omelette by @citron-ella - A Good Omens fic, but focused on The Them! GO fics that aren’t primarily about Aziraphale and Crowley are hard to come by, so I was delighted when I came across this one, particularly as The Them are my personal faves from the book/show. This fic is so sweet and funny in little nuanced ways. Children are hard to write, especially slightly older ones, but this author wrote them wonderfully; they really captured the lovely curious and mischievous nature of The Them, and each one of the kids was written perfectly in character. The descriptions set the scenes well, and they have a sweet, nostalgic sort of tone to them; it reminds me of what kid’s books used to be like years ago, there’s an Enid Blyton(and I’d even say a Terry Pratchet) like charm to it. And I adore the little detail of Brian being curious about Pollution being non-binary, and recognizing something similar in himself; it was so heart-warming. I also loved the bit at the end where Pepper knowingly acknowledges Brian’s interest in being non-binary; it’s a nice subtle way of showing their friendship and how they pay attention to each other.

Most Recent fic: A jetru oneshot, “Kiss Me?”. It’s pretty simple and fluffy; the lads having their first kiss. To be honest, it’s one of those fics I have a love-hate relationship with; looking back at it there are so many ways I’d rewrite it and make it better, but there are some nice bits there too.

Fic with most notes: My moomin one I mentioned earlier. It’s called “To Have a Family is an Awfully Complicated Thing”. A VERY wordy title, and again, there a loads of things I wish I could change and do better( I have actually been contemplating rewriting it) but it’s very close to my heart, and I’m glad other people liked it too.

A line or two from a wip: Man, I have SO many wips it’s embarrassing. Here’s a modern Yueki thing I was doing: They didn't know how Yue spent lunchtimes at school in the library, hidden behind the back shelves, reading poetry books held together with thick brown tape; Shakespeare, Dickinson, Keats, Wordsworth, their words lovely yet so disconnected from her; how within the whole breadth of the romantics she could not find one to attach to; how with no great authors to turn to, she put her own pen to paper, spilling thoughts of brown hair and dark eyes, of a face that freckled in the sun, of a laugh that filled her stomach flip with a delightful queasiness, of how her heart ached for the girl that cleaned her grazed knee for her when she was six. ‘Oh dear.’ Yue fiddled with the bag in her lap, zipping it up, zipping it down. ‘There’s no going back now, is there?’

Favourite character to write for (and why): Hmm, I think Yue and Jet, both from ATLA. Something about them just clicks with me; I love Yue to bits and wish we could’ve had more of her in the show, so I love exploring her character beyond being the Moon Princess. I also adore Jet and will forever be angry about how he dirty they did him in the show. Writing him is actually quite challenging, but in a way I enjoy, and I enjoying pushing myself to explore the nuance and depth he had in the show.

Character(s) you find hard to write: Hm.. I’d say Toph. I love Toph so much but I find it difficult to really capture her strength and rowdiness, but also her compassion and her softer side.

I’ve tagged a few people in this already, so if they wanna do this feel free to! Also you. Reading this. Consider yourself tagged; I wanna hear about your writing.

#shush jas #jas has a pen #note to self: finish wips

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1095fm · 3 years

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KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. REPOST DO NOT REBLOG !!

NAME: mia (me-uh)

PRONOUNS: she/her

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: i usually prefer im’s first, then once i get comfy, ill typically give out my discord!!!

NAME OF MUSE(s): HHHHHHHH too many, here’s a list

RP EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?): i have been rping since i was 11-12!!! which is insane to me bc i’m 24 now.

PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED: omg so freaking many. i started on myspace, then moved to roleplayer.me, did a little thing on FB, then moved to tumblr and just recently gave tweeter a try. i been around the block /:

BEST EXPERIENCE: we made a group of hunger games rpers on facebook that actually picked up so much traction to locals. i played katniss, and we started at the release of hunger games. we would post ic interactions, ic statuses, but had a blast interacting with fans. by the end of it all, my katniss page had just hit a million likes. i deleted the page circa de 2016 bc my friends would see it when i would switch from it to my actual facebook, and i got paranoid. some of my friends also liked the page, but had no idea it was me. i would see it on my personal timeline and just ??? it also just kind of turned into us running fan accounts. the peeta account is still up and it has 314k likes, and that was after being 6 months in, and having to remake the page. it was a wild time. best experience but definitely glad its over.

RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS: i value the time that i have to give, bc i mostly have to make the time, so my biggest pet peeve is when it feels like its being taken advantage, not appreciated, or i’m being rushed. reminders are okay, but if messages are excessive + pushing for a response, it makes me lose all muse for the thread anyways.

MUSE PREFERENCES

FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: i'll do any of it tbh. i’m a huge fan of creating a wave of feelings, so i try to have threads that are simultaneously fluff/angst, but sometimes, i do be just cravin some of that sweet shit <3 i’m not that experienced in smut, so id prefer to do that over discord to save myself from embarrassment lmao.

PLOTS OR MEMES: i prefer memes for muses who are just meeting for the first time, but if we want them to have a prior connection, then i prefer to plot!

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: im one of those people who will work REALLY hard to keep it at a paragraph, and four replies in, somehow have an actual novel.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: my days off, and mid day in pst! i work very early mornings and am still getting my sleeping schedule straight, so im a lil sporadic rn.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): i’m a lot like one of children and a little like all of them. they all share at least one trait+interest with me.

tagged by: @jupitcr

tagging: @neverafters @mortalis @viraegos @scrunchie @telledstories and whoever is reading this <3

#idk what to tag this as so just close ur eyes <3 #⇖ ooc: 𝓈𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓅𝑒𝒶𝓀𝓈⎫my own musings.

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btssavedmylifeblr · 4 years

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Hi bee, i hope you're doing wellI just wanna ask for some tips bc I can't seem to do the "show don't tell" thing when writing. I have no idea why, it's weirdly difficult. Any websites or good examples about it? I'm kinda disappointed in myself. Thank u for being so kind! Much love to you

Ah yes, the classic advice that everyone says but is very hard to actually define. As a beginning writer, I always found this especially confusing because all writing is “telling” in the sense that you are telling a story. You only have words. It’s also a very hard thing to find clear examples of because “telling” might only be a sentence or two but good “showing” might take a whole scene, a whole chapter or a whole novel to do right. It’s something that takes practice and, unlike rules of grammar, can’t be fixed overnight.

I don’t always get it right (and “right” gets pretty subjective with this topic), but as an exercise, let’s compare the first scene I ever wrote to the opening scene of Void.

Excerpt One: Opening Scene of If You’re Struggling

(Disclaimer: I am so embarrassed by this cringey-ness. There is a reason I deleted it from Tumblr. Please don’t judge me too harshly. Writing is a learning process)

To illustrate the point (and because Tumblr’s formatting options suck) I’ve put a strikethrough on all the parts I would consider “telling” instead of “showing”.

“Have a great first day, honey!” Your boyfriend gives you a quick kiss as you grab your coffee and head out the door for your first day at your new job. You’ve been eagerly awaiting this day for several weeks now, since your successful interview with BigHit Entertainment. Up until now, you’ve been working as a makeup artist on a spec basis here in Seoul, but this is going to be your first full-time job as a makeup artist and stylist.

At the BigHit offices, you are welcomed in by the head stylist whom you met at your interview and she shows you around the offices.

“Ok, we need to get to the dressing room” she says, clapping her hands. “The boys are recording their dance practice today, and we need to do their makeup beforehand.”

Your heart beats a little faster when you realize you’re about to meet BTS. A month ago you had never heard of them, but since getting this job two weeks ago, you’ve been a bit obsessed - listening to their music non-stop as you do housework, watching all of their music videos over and over, seeking out all of their Bangtan bombs and television appearances. When your boyfriend caught you watching the “Boy in Luv” video for about the 30th time on your laptop, he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and kissed your cheek.

“Do I need to be worried about you spending so much time with these boys?” He teased.

You turned your head and kissed him reassuringly on the lips. “No!” you giggled in mock offense “look at them, they’re just kids!”

You enter the dressing room and are pointed to a makeup chair in front of a mirror. You set about cleaning up your station and setting up your kit before the boys arrive. You hear the boys coming before you see them - shouting and laughing down the hallway before they get to the door. You are still setting up your station when the door clangs open and they burst into the room.

You turn around to find a tall, older blond boy already sitting in your chair. He gives you a smile and shakes your hand. “Hi. I’m Namjoon. You must be the new stylist.” He introduces himself as the leader and offers to help you get to know the other members. “Watch out for the younger ones, they like to play jokes on each other and everyone else.”

After Namjoon, you meet Jin. He is polite and spends most of his time in the chair filling you in on his recommendations for the other members “Be sure you get underneath Yoongi’s eyes, he was up late last night”, “Don’t go too dark on Jungkook’s lip color”, and so on. When you’re finished, he smiles gratefully at you and stands up to go.

Hoseok comes running over and throws his arm around Jin’s shoulders. “Jin’s make-up is easy since he’s so handsome already, right noona?” he teases Jin.

“Yes, precisely.” Jin replies, not embarrassed at all, but gives you a smile before heading off to hair.

Hoseok is the easiest to talk to out of all of the boys. He peppers you with questions as you do his makeup, all about where you’re from and where you’ve worked before. Before you know it, you’ve told him all about your life, including how you moved from South Korea to the US when you were six for your dad’s work and moved back when you were sixteen. “Oh wow!” He says excitedly. “We can all practice our English with you!”

While you are talking, a loud commotion comes from the back of the room as Jimin and Taehyung are playing Rock, Paper, Scissors and shouting about something.

“What’s going on?” You ask Hoseok and he smiles, a little embarrassed.

“They’re having a disagreement about who gets to sit in your chair next…” He replies. You just blush and look away.

While the younger boys are distracted with their battle, Yoongi plops down into your chair. He introduces himself with a nod and puts in headphones. About halfway through applying his makeup, you realize that he has fallen asleep. You look over at Namjoon, “What do I do now? Should I wake him up?” You ask.

Namjoon just chuckles, “You can keep going, he’ll just sleep through it.” When you’re finished, you gently wake him back up and point him in the direction of the hairstylist. He grumbles appreciatively and stumbles off.

Jimin has apparently won the game and comes rushing over to fill the vacant chair. “Hi. I’m Jimin.” He flashes you a devilish grin, then adds “You know… you are a lot younger and cuter than our last stylist…”

You’re a bit flustered, but Namjoon saves you. “Jimin, you can’t talk to our stylist like that!” He smacks Jimin gently upside the head and suddenly Jimin is just an adorable kid again.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry” he says and you get to work on his makeup.

Taehyung watches you doing Jimin’s makeup, making goofy faces in the mirror when your back is turned, trying to get Jimin to laugh and mess up all your hard work. He slides in when Jimin is done. He spends most of his time in the chair shouting across the room to Jimin, who is now having his hair done. You keep having to gently remind him to sit still.

The maknae is last. “Hi, I’m Jungkook.” He quietly introduces himself. He is really shy and barely says anything else to you as you do his makeup, but you can tell he is trying really hard to stay perfectly still, despite several attempts from the older members to distract him.

Once all of the boys are ready, their manager comes and rounds them up and you hear them running back down the hall to the dance studio laughing and joking. You breathe a sigh of relief and can’t fight back the smile that spreads across your face.

The first few weeks of working at BigHit are fantastic. The boys continue to warm up to you as you get to know them better. Namjoon loves talking with you in English, especially really quickly so his bandmates can’t follow what he’s saying. Of course, you can’t always follow what he’s saying either, but he is so thoughtful and full of ideas. Yoongi still often falls asleep, but he also now comes in with music recommendations for you and hands you the other ear of his headphones while you do his makeup. Hoseok continues to be your favorite, telling you all about his childhood, the audition and debut process, and filling you in on the latest gossip. Jimin and V continue to cause trouble, but are so adorable when they do that you can never stay mad at them. And Jungkook continues to be quiet and sit perfectly still in the makeup chair. He is so chatty with his bandmates that you are a little sad he isn’t more comfortable with you, but it does make his makeup easier to do than Taehyung’s.

Thoughts:

So there a lot of things here like it being her first day of work, her being nervous, and the mannerisms of the boys that would have been much better if I had showed them through dialogue, description, and physical mannerisms rather than telling them outright. It would have done a lot better job of placing the reader in the scene and would read as a bit less cringey. The last paragraph in this scene is particular egregious because instead of allowing the reader to see those relationships build over time and really invest us in those characters, I just summarize in one paragraph.

As a result, we get to the end of this scene and we know a lot of facts, but we don’t really have any good sense of who this character is or why we should care about her or empathize with her.

Excerpt Two: Opening Scene of Void

(Disclaimer: This is also not perfect, but it is much improved from the previous)

“Can you see them?”

You blink your eyes as you stare into the microscope, squinting against the bright light. You’ve been staring into this scope for two hours, searching for tiny signs of life.

“Maybe?” you reply. Your colleague leans in closer, close enough to smell his shampoo. Your eyes begin to water as you scour the field of view, checking each fleck of dirt for your prize. But again, you came up empty. “No, I don’t think so.”

You lean back in your chair, closing your eyes and rubbing them to relieve the strain. You didn't get much sleep last night. But you can’t bring yourself to complain to Hoseok.

He groans, standing up and twisting side to side. Your back aches in sympathy from bending over these finicky slides all morning. “We’re going to run out of samples.” The corners of his mouth pull down into a frown.

“We’ll run out of kerosene first,” you mutter. You look back through the lens one last time, hoping you missed something.

“They should have sent us with more.” Your fellow science officer stands up and walks over to chemical storage.

“Yeah, because large amounts of volatile organic liquids are a great thing to have on spacecraft." No one else on this ship would appreciate your joke. It’s not a good joke. But Hoseok humors you and gives you a small chuckle.

“Should we try an acid?” he suggests, as he examines the inside of the storage cabinet.

“Acetic?” He nods and scratches his chest as he fishes out the necessary bottle. He walks the acid back to your lab station and sets it down on the counter next to you.

He sighs and puts his hands on his hips, resuming his twisting back and forth. He clasps his hands together and does a long slow stretch upwards. Your eye catches on the sliver of exposed skin popping into view as his shirt rides up.

His smooth skin stretches across well-defined muscles, distracting your serious scientific mind. You lick your lips as you imagine how warm he would feel under your palm. You stare at the gap between his navel and the top of his pants. Not for the first time, you find yourself wondering what his skin tastes like.

“We should dilute it.” His shirt falls back down, breaking the spell. You look away, shaking your head, embarassed by your own lacivious thoughts. You’re a professional. A highly educated astronaut and scientist. You have a PhD, for god’s sake. Focus on the mission at hand.

“Yeah, we should.” You nod in confimation before standing up to get some glassware. “What concentration?”

As you turn around to reach the water tap, Hoseok moves to reach the tablet behind you. Your small lab is so narrow that you end up colliding with him. You bounce backwards off his body, cradling your beaker of water, headed straight back toward all of your ship’s glassware. You panic. Visions of shattering thousands of dollars of lab supplies fly through your head. But Hoseok catches you before you stumble into the cabinetry. You breathe a sigh of relief when you realize he’s got you in his arms.

“Fuck.” You smile. “Sorry, Hoseok.”

“It’s okay.” He laughs, shaking his head. “My fault.” His hands linger on you as you both chuckle. You feel the heat of his touch seeping through your jumpsuit.

Despite living in such tight quarters, it’s rare that you’re ever this close to him. You try to avoid physical contact with the crew out of self-preservation.

He smells good. Hoseok always smells good. While your ship smells mechanical and sterile, the man holding you smells warm and human. It’s comforting, but in a way that makes you ache with how you long to bury yourself in him.

Your colleague lets go of you and steps backwards, coughing into his shirt sleeve. He picks up the tablet and scrolls through your research materials. The warmth of his hands begins to fade from your shoulders. He finds the correct dilution factor and reads it out to you.

You measure out the appropriate amounts of acid mixing it with water. Hoseok retrieves another fragment of the meteoroid that you’re scouring for microorganisms. When he returns, you cover the sample with the acid, stopper the flask and set it to oscillate for a hour.

“Nothing to do now but wait.” You sit down on your stool and drum on your thighs. The idea of being alone with Hoseok for another hour fills you with nervous energy. It's a relief when he excuses himself to the bathroom.

It didn’t used to be this hard. When you started this mission two years ago, you had no problem being alone with any of your crew members. You were professionals doing a job together, and there wasn’t time or energy for idle sexual tension. But as the mission drags on, you have begun to feel more and more on edge. And it’s not only Hoseok. You are finding it harder and harder to be alone with any of the crew. When you spend all night fantasizing about someone, normal conversation becomes difficult.

You stare at the flask rocking back and forth on the counter and let your mind wander. You replay your previous clumsy moment. You imagine Hoseok catching you in his arms again, but this time you grab him and kiss him. You smell him and taste him and surround yourself in him. You close your eyes and follow the fantasy further. You imagine dropping to your knees and sucking him off up against the glassware cabinet. You imagine the way the lab equipment would clink as he bent you over the lab counter.

Hoseok returns, brandishing his tablet. “I got the new article from Geology on microfossils, if you want to take a look.” You sigh and nod.

Thoughts: So there is definitely some telling happening in this scene too. Telling is not always the worst thing in the world, although I wrote this scene nearly two years ago, so if I could go back and edit some of this out now I would. But what I want to point out here is how much information I convey without ever having to explicitly spell it out: we’re on a spaceship, the OC is a scientist with a crush on her colleague, she is touch-starved, they are searching for fossils, etc. And I think it does a much better job than the previous example at drawing the reader into the scene.

___

In general, here some good pointers for moving more in the showing direction:

1. Focus as much as you can on the present moment. What is your character thinking right now? What are they feeling? What information are they getting from their senses?

2. Use dialogue. Dialogue is a great way to show relationships between characters and fill in backstory without long paragraphs of just “telling” your readers stuff. Just be careful that it sounds like real dialogue and not exposition masquerading as dialogue. No one tells anyone their whole life story the first time they meet them or repeats information that the other person would obviously know.

3. Trust your readers to fill in the gaps. Readers are very good at picking up context clues. You don’t need to spell everything out for them. If you put them in the scene and describe the world around them well, they will figure out lots of things just from context.

Hope that helps! The only real solution is to play around with it and practice and see what you like. Good luck!

#on writing

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youngjuwu · 6 years

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28 Questions Tag!!

Rules: Answer the following questions and then tag 20 people

Tagged by: @httpsgyeomie

1. Nicknames: Kofa, Jack, Koffee, Kofer, Kota, idk I have many tbh and some are low key embarrassing but they’re also very endearing idk lol moving on

2. Zodiac Sign: Virgo

3. Height: uhhh I think 5’7” ?? Maybe and inch shorter or taller idk

4. Age: currently 20 but I turn 21 in September

5. Time: 18:14 (6:14pm)

6. Favorite Bands/Artists: too damn many,,, Starset, The Amity Affliction, Linkin Park, Got7, Vixx, Shinee, Post Malone, Lil Peep, Xxxtentacion, Blackbear, The Neighbourhood, Miley Cyrus, Cardi B, Jessie Rutherford, Taemin, Jonghyun, Defsoul, Ars, Jackson Wang, JJ Project, Ravi, The Jokes, Drake, Rihanna, Ariana Grande, Coldplay, Day6, Twice, Stay Kids (like as of real recently lol), and so many idk I’m bad at picking favorites dhdhsjsjs

7. Song stuck in my head: “Blame it on Me” - Post Malone and “Money Bag” - Cardi B

8. Last Movie I saw: when I rewatched “Tangled” last week

9. Last thing I googled: “free outdoor parking near me” LMFAOO I CANT STOP LAUGHINNG ABOUT THIS

10. Other blogs: none. I used to have a different tumblr that I had from liek 2012 to like,,, 2016 or early 2017 at the lastet,, but I deleted it bc I never used tumblr that much anymore but ayyo a bitch is back since like lol idk March of this year. My old blog was a mess too. It deserves to stay dead .

11. Do I get asks: not really lol I figure when I start writing and shit again I probably will get requests over time so then perhaps yeah

12. Why did I choose my username: well in my old account (lol no one asked about that one) it was a stupid inside joke. But this one was just a combinations of my top four favorite exo members (jongin, chanyeol, kyungsoo, yixing)

13. Following: idk lol prob like near 100 if not more by now lol I keep telling myself to stop following so many jb/got7 blogs but I end up following like roughly about ten in a day 😂

14. Average amount of sleep: ngl it’s either four hours or somewhere between nine and 20 lol

15. Lucky Number: I don’t feel like disclosing them since I use some of them in some of my passwords lmaooo

16. What I’m wearing: oversized t-shirt with shorts

17. Dream job: idk I have three i guess. I really want to be an author, a musician and like,, a screenplay writer I guess they would be called¿ idk I wanna write plots and stuff for shows and films lol

18. Dream trip: idk,,, I would be fine with going wherever idk I wanna see as much of the world as I can someday when the opportunity arises and it’s the right time.

19. Favorite Food: idk I really love seafood but if I had to choose one thing it would probably be the limited edition cotton candy ice cream that this one restraint place has that I forget what it’s called lol I wanna say Friendly’s but i don’t remember

20. Play any instruments: I tried learning the drums years ago but gave up since no one took me wanting to learn seriously lol

21. Play any sports: no but I always wanted to play (American) soccer, hockey or basketball tbh

22. Hair color: blonde but it’s almost all faded to my natural hair color

23. Eye color: idk it’s like a grayish blue

24. Most iconic song: uhhh my ultimate favorite song ever “I’ll Make A Man Out Of You” from Mulan

25. Languages I speak/am learning: English; learning Swedish and after I learn that I will probably try to relearn Japanese

26. Random fact: got7 deserves all the love in the entire world k bye

27. Describe yourself as aesthetic things: im not good with aesthetics, im better with memes,,

28. Favorite songs: ok so I already listed my ultimate favorite song ever so uhhh here have some of my current faves as of today (the third of August, 2018) - “Destroyer” Monsta X, “Tell Me The Same” Michl, “Smooth (trophy cat remix)” Aoora ft. Seri, “Paragraphs” Blackbear, “Flowers” Niki & Gabi, “Ball For Me” Post Malone, “Hellevator” Stray Kids, “Okay” Jackson Wang, “Victim of Love” i truly forget who it’s by but it features Ars and Elliot Yamin, “I Like You” got7, “Malevolence” New Years Day, “Whore” In This Moment, and lots more lol but this is long enough already

so I even talk to five people here so if u see this and wanna do this feel free lol I would feel like I’m annoying people if I tagged people so 🤷‍♀️ anyways thanks for reading my dude bros and dudette sis’s

#questionairies #thank u em for taggingg me i love doing these things hskzjska

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8eht · 6 years

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pls answer questions 1-10 andddd 17 😚😚😻😻😚😻😚😻😚😻♥♥♥

1. how old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction?

well i literally jsut started in nov 2017 so 26!!! i mean, if u want my deepest darkest secret i started an exo fic back in like 2012 but didnt write anything after like 2 paragraphs lmao akjfhakfjsasf

2.what fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?

seventeen almost exclusively. although i do have an ongoing monsta x fic! ive considered writing for some video games like life is strange or detroit: become human, but i think i’ll stick with seventeen for now. svt is def my fave to write about, specifically junhao and gyuhao but thats prob obv

3. do you prefer writing oc’s or reader inserts? explain your answer.

neither??? everything i write is member/member so it doesnt really apply. however, ive been kind of tempted to write reader inserts but i pro wont bc its embarrassing aksfjhafkafjas. i might tho eventually. its just really not my thing.

4. what is your favourite genre to write for?

angst!!!!! heavy heavy heavy angst!!! with very subtle, but important ‘fluff’ here and there. i normally write boring things like uni or just everyday non-idol aus, but idk lately ive been really loving my sci-fi/dystopian au so who knows. im always changing!!! but yes, angst is something i will always write no matter what.

ive never been into fluff or soft stuff and prob never will. even if i were to write something fluffy, there will def be lots of angst too akjsfhasfk

5. if you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?

okay so. ive only posted like two (kinda three) multi-chptered fics atm. and only one has multiple chapters posted. like atm im working one like … five multi-chaptered fics?? but i think no matter what natural born losers with be my favorite forever. i put so mucho f myself into it that it will always be the most important thing to me.

even if im not finished with even the first chapt of some, i KNOW natural born losers will be my fave forever.

send me fanfic asks 🍒

6. if you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

most def the monsta x one bc im just not feeling it no matter how much i try. i just see too many things abt it i dont like. i want to do better with the second chpt, but if i HAD to delete one it would be that :((((((

i do love it a lot. it has to do with a lot of personal things that have actually happened to me, and there are some parts that im even surprised i had written bc i find them that wonderful (im not trying to be full of myself bc i normally think i suck) and im in love with those particualr bits.

but i mean, if i HAD to choose it would be breaths, hands, and other things to hold.

7. when is your preferred time to write?

literally any time. if im in the mood, then i will do it. even if im trying to sleep and its 4:37 am i will get up and write. whenever i get the urge to write i will!! there rly is no specific time.

8. where do you take your inspiration from?

so so so so so many diff places. from real life, to tv shows, to music. but for some specifics, nicole dollanger will forever be someone i take a huge inspiration from. all of her music is really how i feel, so she helps me get my feelings out in paper.

like i swear, anything i write, u can bet im listening to her while i write.

bc shes me, honestly. but a smarter and more articulate me.

9. in your xxx fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?

im gonna choose an unpublished fic if thats okay!!!

so im gonna choose a scene from flowers of flesh and blood.

i havent published it yet, so i wont get into too much detail. but if you’ve played dbh you’ll kinda understand. but in it is a scene where ‘someone’ and his father picks out an android :^)

everyone will see wut i mean when i post it so asfjhasjfk. i dont want to give anything away, but im super excited abt it!!!!

10. in your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? did you have an alternate ending in mind?

ok so another one of an unpublished fic!!!!!!!!

im not gonna give aNYTHING away buy i’ll tell u this. there is no ending. the ending is very up to the reader :^)

but it’s gonna be called how to stop never being sad and i’ll post it when i finish.

im only talking abt this one bc none of my current published fics are finished or close to being finished.

17. post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.

a blanket of courage covering all of his ugly blemishes, leaving him with a dewy and luminous finish.

#wenjunhuisgf #omg i didnt know this was u oana!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love u so much !!!!!!!!#i love UUUUUU #thank u!!!!#replies #not 17 #writing.txt

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jooheongif · 6 years

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it's theory anon,hi!!how are YOU?i'm really good rn thanks:)) thank you for your kindness again,i'm really happy i could somehow help to help you feel even a tiny bit better and hope you're doing well now,too(and it's ok to not rest on your day off but it's also ok to do so if that's what you feel is right for you atm!).about the mf(ilm), i thought the same thing, it felt like a parallel universe type of story!i also really love plotlines about friendship, (again cont.i'll try to be briefer!)

(i’m so sorry i wrote a rly long reply so i’m gonna put this under read more !!)

2. friendship is beautiful and i feel oftentimes underappreciated(but not mx!there they go again being amazing) so i love the concept. personally i like not knowing what exactly the producers were thinking because having my own interpretation of something and seeing other ppl have their own fills me with wonder,like,that's art!so many people think so many different things and no one's wrong i love it!!your thoughts about them appreciating everything they've done so far,you're absolutely right(cont) 3. i hope they are able to bc everything's so hectic for the.i get lost just looking at their official schedule,i don't know how they do it but i also hope they are aware of all these things bc those are all mindblowingly huge accomplishments in my opinion and i just want them to feel like their hard work is worth it,yknow?(is this comprehensible?)and i know they feel pressure because as you said the business is nasty but yea i hope at the end of the day they can feel like (cont.???again 4. everything they've put so much of themselves into is worth it,i love their energy and fierce determination and i just don't want them to lose it but maybe as you said feel less pressured..but then the only way would realistically be to make sure they get awarded in the Real World so we're all doing our best in the system&hating it as you said:/ they just mean so much to so many people i want them to feel that too!i try to contain myself but here i go again! sorry it's so long AND i have more(con 5. also!thank you for your big reply and sharing your thoughts i mostly just agreed with (but you're right so what else can i do),i don't have mbb friends to vent to and fanperson(is there a gender neutral term for fanboy/fangirl?) over mx with and this is really nice and fulfilling(again,if i'm boring you,you can just delete the messages and not reply!) so THANKS!it's great to strive to be a better person but i feel like one(you) should also acknowledge the good things they're already doing(cont?) 6. you showed such pure kindness and really melted someone's(my) heart and that's a Big Deal!djkghddgwe can agree that we both inspired each other :') also please i feel like you're such a wonderful soul and you really deserve every bit of gratitude and appreciation i managed to express(i feel a lot moreprobably) so!yeah!reminder that you're lovely and deserve to be appreciated and i'm also very,very happy you're here!you made my day brighter for the 2nd time now wow!thanks! i hope you and(cont.:() 7. your gorgeous heart are taking good care and enjoying your day/night! and this cb!i really like it i haven't had time to listen to the entire album but jealousy!is a bop honestly it's my type of jam and the choreo is stunning and so are their voices!iwas so skeptical about the lyrics(they could've been like hero or stuck and those made me a bit >:/ honestly) but i really should've known they wouldn't fail me in any way ever!i can't wait to hear the rest of the songs i hope you enjoy them too!bye

hi theory anon, it's nice to hear from u again ! firstly, i am so sorry for the slow reply to this ! but im rly glad to know that u are doing good :-) i'm doing ok too thank u !! how are u ? kfjjfdsjfdf sorry that u had to read my tags but thank u for saying that !! i just feel so guilty when i do nothing bc im absolutely terrified of time passing too quickly ? just the thought of letting a few minutes go to waste is overwhelming ? even though i know it's not rational to think like this but ??? theres just this constant feeling that im running out of time so i try to get rid of it by always doing smth ?? and feel bad when i dont ? idk ?? but anyway im working on it and ill be ok ! sorry..not to be dramatic and tmi and all that kjdfdj istg this blog gives me too much freedom to say...too much :( (hope the internet folks that collect metadata never read the garbage i write bc..yikes they aren't gonna hav the best time) anyway..yea. what a paragraph to start off this reply :( sorry for the honesty and saying so much all the time btw :( not that being honest is necessarily a bad thing but ! idk every time i write smth i suddenly feel extra self conscious and feel like deleting it bc im rly embarrassed and always end up having big regret later when i reread anything ive typed up !! but i just keep writing them anyway bc...idk ?? i'd rly hate it if someone got discouraged from sharing their thoughts/worries/feelings which i think is a rly important human thing :( so yea im rly embarrassed w anything i write but i'll keep doing it anyway bc i'm all for that kind of stuff and sometimes i know its not easy and it takes someone a lot to share that and its a good thing and i dont ever want anyone to feel discouraged from doing that ! anyway i just felt like i rly needed to say all of this..but pls dont feel obliged to reply to this mess !! anyway back to mx ! you are right :( i also hope mx feel like what they've done is worth smth w/e their definition or standard of that is :( like.. all of the hard work they've put into being mx it certainly means so much to fans but i hope all the hard work they've put into being mx also means smth to them at the end of the day and they are happy w what they're doing and what they've achieved so far :( and yes we'd love mx to always be rewarded in the real world :( though we love them and we want to get them a win, i know that everyone has their commitments, means and different circumstances and we can only do so much :( but even if u think its just a small contribution, everything adds up and counts and i know that all mbb hav contributed in some way in helping them get another win for this cb ! there are some mbb who can't buy albums or streaming passes and things and i hope they don't feel bad for this :( even if all you can do is watch the mv once or twice, even if you could only vote, i hope you know that it all counts and matters !! abt mx's schedule, i get tired just by looking at their weekly one idk how they can even put up w it all ?? after this they'll hav their japanese album and things and then they'll have their concerts and on top of all that apparently [some of them are also studying] ????? they are so hardworking :( HOW do they do it !! just..thinking abt their schedule is overwhelming !!! also pls dont think that you're boring me or anything like that :( im so thankful for any msg i receive and the fact that u actually took the time to type out smth to send to me ?? im so grateful ?? u are never boring !! honestly even if u sent me a stainless steel dishwasher manual w the page length of like..23 bibles, i'd still love u for it and i'd prob read all of it :( btw thank u sm for saying all those kind things !!! receiving kindness for the 3rd time is rly !!!!!!! and once again i've done nothing to deserve it :( i dont even know what i can say to you that will ever be enough to thank u again or to top what u hav already said ! if there was like a...maslows hierarchy of kindness of smth, ur at the very top of that triangle and anything i say will never be as kind as what you have said !! for you, i can agree that we both inspired each other :-) but really thank u so much from the bottom of my heart :( i hope you know how kind and lovely u are too ! if nobody told u this today, i wanted to say that im rly grateful to know u and i'm happy that you're here !! thank u again for being so kind and thoughtful and for making me smile !! :( same, i havent properly listened to the whole album either bc ive just been letting it stream in the background (but i dont count that as a proper listen unless i listen w headphones tbh) ill give it a good listen one day ! also im a repeat 1 kind of garbage person until i feel the need to listen to a new song ?? and rn jealousy to me is a song that gets better w every listen ??? shes too powerful atm :( one day ill listen to another song but today is not that day ! Actually.....I think jealousy is my fav mx song ???? before this cb i didnt hav a fav bc i couldnt pick the song i liked most out of blue moon/blind/fighter/incomparable. i was just gonna base it off the one w the most play count out of those 4 but now i know its jealousy ! what are ur fav mx songs ?? btw i know im always saying that anything mx releases is always a masterpiece no matter what, but in all seriousness its ok if u didn't like smth they released. i don't think it makes u any less of a mbb if u didn't enjoy a certain release or if u only liked one aspect of a thing but not so much the rest of the thing. anyway not to sound so...stale and commonplace but for lack of a better word/sentence, at the end of the day your own reactions and feelings to a piece of art like music...it's all just subjective isnt it ?? not liking that thing doesnt mean that its not a masterpiece or its any less of a masterpiece to someone else either so !! it's ok !! anyway this is rly....ive written a lot and its all over the place and incoherent probably :( i'm sorry !! feel free to reply whenever u feel like it, or no pressure on never replying at all btw ! also feel free to disagree w anything i say ! thank u sm for talking to me abt mx bc ive also got no mbb friends so !!! thank you :( theres so many times where i rly want to start a conversation w someone but im too scared and also i've got no clue abt how to initiate conversation ! and the times when i do manage to...i get stuck on how to keep the conversation going ? but when i figure smth out then im coming for u @ friendship !! i hope u had a good weekend and that you got some rest and that ur doing ok wherever u are !! until next time, take care ❤️❤️❤️

#how did i..even end up writing so much im so sorry :-(#and sorry that this is all over the place !!#i hope i didn't go on too much of a tangent :(#ask #theory anon #Anonymous

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limitlessmonster · 7 years

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okay so i just started reading king of catfishing by @trashmccree and i’m literally so fucking giddy already and i’m only like 3 paragraphs in wtf

three hours later: okay i literally got so into the story that i totally forgot i had this post open so i’m just gonna fast forward. okay? okay. right. MOVING ON

i haven’t legit felt this way about a fanfic in forfuckingever so i’m just going to word vomit and get full on ridic and yelly and just overall jgghdjflwowofkkk under the read more bc i’m embarrassing myself but i need I NEED to get. it. out. omg i’m already on reread number threee and it’s barely past noon PLEASE GO READ THIS FIC AND ASCEND WITH ME

His first match on this website and it’s with the prince? Well, fake prince. Right. He’s about to get robbed by a fake prince online for all he’s worth like one of those chain email scams.

Your Prompto is a literal angel someone get him some wings and maybe a chocobo hat with a halo on it.

“I’m just trying not to freak out right now,” Prompto’s thumbs hovered over the screen. “Do I even reply? What do I even say? Why did you do this to me?”

“Hush and just talk to him like a regular person. You do know how to talk to other human beings right?”

Prompto furrowed his eyebrows, “Yes and I am super good at it.”

I can totally hear their voice when they speak and omg Prom you totally are, totally super good at it hahaha I LOVE HIM SO MUCH ALREADY

“Did that sound okay? That didn’t sound okay. He hates me. This is actually the prince and he hates me. He’s gonna block me. He’s gonna send the cyber police on me. Or the real police. Or the royal guards. They’re gonna bust down my door and send me to the dungeon. The palace has got to have a dungeon right?”

THIS PRECIOUS BEAN OMG I WANT TO JUST PUT HIM IN MY POCKET

“That doesn’t even sound like me. And a winky face? A. Winky. Face.”

I wasn't imagining him exaggerating a winky face while he was being adamant that the winky face was not in his personality skill set nope totally wasn’t hahahaha

Okay, don’t freak out. Not like that was a casual invite to see each other in person? Definitely not. ** Prompto found himself seated in the restaurant Noctis told him about, in a booth obviously because what heathen would pick a table over a booth? He was gnawing on his bottom lip and wouldn’t stop fiddling with his napkin. He kept rearranging the cutlery around on the table. His foot wouldn’t stop tapping and oh gods is that sweat he feels?

Digressing train-of-thought-stream-of-consciousness povs if done well give me life, water my crops, feed my children, clear my acne, and simultaneously create world peace

Noctis: I have no idea what you’re talking about :)

Prompto: omg you’re the wooorst i’m gonna delete your number right now

Noctis: After all we’ve been through?

Prompto: sorry it had to end like this

Prompto: and i’m taking the dog with me

Noctis: You’ll never get custody of him, I won’t allow it >:(

Prompto: i’ll see you in court!!!! im his favorite parent anyways

Noctis: He doesn’t even know you exist lol.

Prompto: how could you say that about my baby? T.T ** Noctis: Your freckles look extra nice today.

Prompto: thank you i took extra care this morning in putting them on

THE FLIRTING OMG THE FLIRTING THE AWKWARD FACE-IN-YOUR-HAND-SQUEALING FLIRTING I HATE THEM WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME

Maybe one day he’ll run into the real Prince Noctis on the street and can tell him all about how he met someone online that was pretending to be him. They could laugh about it together. Or the real Noctis will think that’s really weird and get a restraining order on him.

seriously the stream of consciousness thing. I just choked on my spit and laughed out loud in the middle of a conference call. which I probably shouldn't be doing. but MOVING ON

He leaned down to smack his forehead against the table lightly a few times. Get it together. Quit being an idiot.

“Wow, the date hasn’t even started yet and you’re already trying to give yourself a concussion?”

Prompto quickly whipped his head up. He recognized that voice. His gaze met that of his date and his eyes widened instantly.

Fuck it’s the prince. The actual prince. It’s actually the prince. Of Lucis. That one.

I LITERALLY JUST SQUEALED INTO MY FUCKING HAND AND BOWED MY HEAD DOWN INTO MY LAP BECAUSE OHMYGOD. ALSO I JUST RAN OUT OF CHARACTERS ON AO3 I NOW HAVE NO ROOM LEFT OKAY BYE I LOVE THIS FIC SOMEONE SEND HELP AND MAYBE A MEDIC

#trashmccree #promptis #;ficrecs #ffxv #i have ascended #i'm still smiling like an idiot over this fic #i can't believe i ran out of characters on ao3 smh at myself all the live long day

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bleusarcelle · 7 years

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Author ask Thingy

So, @goramidiot tagged me on one of these, and I had fifteen minutes free before an interview (yes, a 9 pm interview yey) so I thought, why not?

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

Well…I kinda have this one story that I deleted bc uh, it was about Klance coming back to earth but like, their relationship took a turn bc it was a new environment from where they established their relationship, so they go downhill from there but like, in the end they want to make it work.

So yeh. Posted it. Deleted it. Trying to edit so I can do their relationship justice, you know, like a good healthy relationship should be.

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

Hmmmmm. None? Like, sure, I have a couple where they might be lil cringy in the writing but that’s because I was still learning. So, I can forgive myself.

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

Fave scenes first and then chronological.

4) favorite character you’ve written

Lance and Keith. Neck to Neck.

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

Pidge. I didn’t expected me to fall hard for her, man.

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

Environment descriptions. Like, I usually focus on emotions and dialogue, what the character is doing and showing but damn, it’s a hard time for me to describe or find the time to put what’s around them.

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

I’m okayish. I don’t ger overexcited because then I would have to explain the plot and …yah know? Not a lot of ppl are accepting of stories of people falling in love, if you know what I mean.

Embarassed, tho? No. Never. I’m proud of my writing.

8) favorite genre to write

……….

Fluff.

Why are you looking at me like that, it’s fluff.

……….. and angst.

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

Life, tbh?

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

Background noise and people. Like, I usually write whenever I’m not overwhelmed at work, so I write in my office with chatter behind me or aimless music.

But like, when I acknowledge the silence when I’m alone? It’s a lil unsettling. I prefer to be surrounded by people but in my own world, if that makes sense.

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

Damn, dude, I really wouldn’t know?

Maybe the transaction from scene to scene? Character’s emotions?

TEXT FORMAT. OH LORD I HAVE CHANGED FROM MY EVIL WAYS AND FINALLY MANAGED HOW TO MAKE DECENT TEXT FORMAT.

And like dialogue, letting it be more natural.

12) your weaknesses as an author

I have no idea?? Why do I have to auto analyze myself, oh my god.

Uh, okay, let’s see, what do I struggle with? Forgetting details of the characters?

13) your strengths as an author

DIALOGUE. EMOTIONS.

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

Nah, man, I suck at those.

15) why did you start writing?

I was reading some nature fics back in my day and I was like ‘ok but like, I think this would have been better’ and then I was like ‘……Imma make my own that fits my likes bc I wanna read that shit.’ And TA-DAAAAH.

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

Sonic the motherfucker.

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

My what now?

Is that like? Past me? Baby past me?

Sure okay: LET YOURSELF TO BE CRINGY. EXPLORE. FIND. TRY. AND ENJOY. SEE WHAT YOU LIKE AND WHAT YOU DON’T. MAKE MISTAKES AND LEARN FROM THEM. ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE CRINGY AND LAME UNTIL YOU FIND YOUR OWN STYLE. YOU GOT THIS SHIT.

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

Probably, dude, tbh. My writing style changed at some point but I can’t remember when or how.

Tho, one thing I remember seeing, it was a post, like some of those tips writing posts that said like “Write like you are telling the story to your best friend.”

AND BOY OH BOY DO I REALLY WRITE LIKE THAT.

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

You ask the wrong person here.

I try not to panic, tbh, bc big fics scare me when Im the one writing them. Pace, transition, relationships, emotions, natural flow of actions and feelings. They are so complicated ya know?

So, I usually write down all the scene I WANT TO SEE IN THE GODDAM FIC, explaining a lil about them, like the meaning behind each of them between these [ ] and then I start making like the timeline with the scenes, organizing them and shit.

It took me a while to get the hangs of the timeline of the current multichip im making. It was….a trip.

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

Both. Depends on how much time I have or inspiration.

I love it when I have long sit-downs, tho, they are interesting and like, really fills you with adrenaline. (because you think everything you are writing is amazing lmao oh just you want for the next day when you are editing, oh boy)

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

‘Nice, nice, oh I like what I did there, ….okay was that really necessary? Oh no, that’s a 2012 old me, what is it doing here? ….ok that one was funny! I approve. Oh man, really? A typo? In front of my salad? …I’m honestly confused on why this has kudos….Oh god, dude, this is super angsty chill the fuck out, what the fuck……..oh wait it’s still my fic, alright then……….note to self, don’t be so dang angsty and people don’t have that many tears inside them, relax.’

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

Any subject that I’m not familiar with, tbh? Not that I’m uncomfortable, per se, but I don’t want to write them in the chances that I might fuck it up.

If I didn’t live it? I don’t write it, simple as that tbh.

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

Not really? Obscure? Nah, dude, I’m pretty basic, I just daydream a lot.

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

Dialogue. And TEXT FORMAT.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

I have over 100+ fics, bro, so like, I’m just going to use something from the last fic/drabble I wrote:

Keith doesn’t know what makes him pause but suddenly his eyes fall to the empty space on his right and then he frowns.

Where is Lance?

Why I like this part? Because you stablish a few things:

1) Keith senses something is out of the ordinary.

2) Automatically looks to the right where Lance usually is (ya know, right hand man, you see what I did there)

3) The realization that Lance is not there annoys him so you know that it’s not a common occurrence that Lance disappears.

#bleu answers #I GOTTA GO THO #OKAY BYE THIS WAS FUN

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bluegrasshole · 7 years

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do all the get to know your author questions bc they're all good and i can't pick

ko…. you need to work on your decisiveness (but thank you)

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

i mean.. not really. i had decided not to write any more fanfiction to focus on an original story i started but then… i wanted to get used to the setting, work through some personal stuff… kind of warm myself up while still writing the other one… so i’m writing a nurseydex lighthouse story like i said i would

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

my entire fanfiction.net account is bad. so so so bad. and surprisingly recent. also i HATE my early zimbits stuff, but of course one of them is like my second most popular piece so i can’t delete it. like really hate. and it’s frustrating because i have good stuff from that time period, so i don’t even fucking know what was going through my mind.

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

chronological but i tend to go back and add things obsessively. i like getting the skeleton down first just to get the basic plot and know where i’m going, then i go back to add in details – the meat of the skeleton if you will… and you know i like details

4) favorite character you’ve written

any dex is my favourite, but also specifically jack from samwell gentlemen’s hockey because he cracks me up, and i really loved writing parvati in that one parvender piece.

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

camilla? in strange lovers i didn’t even know i was writing camilla until i realized like 3k in that my character who i’d named millie and was blonde was in fact… camilla. she snuck up on me

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

oh… i do go back and fix things often (in strange lovers i went back to rewrite parts of ransom’s character and his role months after i originally posted it because i realized i had written some pretty shitty stuff regarding black men) but, meh, row upon row is always one i’d like… want to go back and fix, especially the rushed ending, but i can’t go back and change it now because it’s been read by too many people…

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

super embarrassed. only my best friend knows because she’s also a writer but i still don’t feel super comfortable talking to her about it. we’re getting there with each other. she doesn’t write fanfiction ya feel though i think she’s read some

8) favorite genre to write

lmao idk i like writing comedy but plot is hard so i don’t often do it. character studies i guess, AUs, angst

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

music, and listening to people tell stories about themselves or others, just being around people is inspiring to me. i recently went to a show that was a mix of folk music and storytelling about prince edward island? and it was incredible i left there feeling so invigorated

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

i do most of my writing in a café a minute from my apartment, with or without music depending on if my wireless headphones are dead or not, always w a blended matcha latté

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

oh man. i mean since i started writing in like, 2010? i mean, everything, obviously. but since 2015 – christ. still everything? well, definitely verb tenses/points of view/epithets/general structure and technique, definitely better at rhythm though that took some serious work and a couple stories focussed solely on rhythm and flow. i think i’m much better at nuance now – weaving different themes together to make at least a semi-coherent story… and general prose, i think. finding a balance between minimalism and appropriate imagery. i’m more comfortable playing around with grammar then i used to be. idk, i think my voice has just overall developed into something clearer and distinct from others.

12) your weaknesses as an author

plot and dialogue-heavy scenes. i like writing dialogue and i think the lines themselves are good usually, i just have a hard time, like finding the balance between dialogue, dialogue that has to accomplish something, and prose. and writing a neat point-a-to-point-b plot is a losing battle

13) your strengths as an author

i’ve been told setting, and i think that’s about right. i get obsessive about crafting like, a complete world where it feels like there are things that happen outside of the plot and the main characters. building fucking lore into the setting is the most fun for me. i think the details make the story.

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

heeeelll yeah

15) why did you start writing?

idk i spent a lot of time on the internet and all the quote unquote cool kids were doing it. i was in a RP where we were all pretty close friends (still follow them on all social media including fb) and we just like, wrote each other fic. i was pretty good at writing before then (for a kid) and even was runner-up for a national award or something in grade six? i barely remember what it was for but i do remember the piece was called “autumn’s opus” and it was comparing the seasons to an orchestra or a piece of music idk. it was pretty killer for an 11-yr-old if i do say so myself

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

oh i don’t know about haunt but i do get sad about jack and kent all the time

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

read your dialogue out loud to see if it sounds natural (it probably doesn’t) and put dooooown the epithets. it’s lazy writing and you don’t need them. and reread reread reread reread. in different fonts, different colours, on differents days, out loud, by different people… reread!!

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

absolutely anything by fluorescentgrey but especially her historical AUs, familiar’s character designs and rawness, waspabi’s dialogue and humour, montparnasse’s prose and tenderness, misandrywitch’s everything, and this piece which inspired a tattoo and pushed me to start experimenting with my own writing a couple years ago… among many others

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

oh i usually just give up halfway through that’s how

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

usually i go to the café and sit for like 5 hours and if i get a few hundred words out of that i’m happy

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

ugh it’s so bad and shitty and i hate it all

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

well, yeah. i don’t like writing about religion so i just… don’t, much. strange lovers had the most religion of anything i’ve ever written. and i’m cautious about writing about race though i’ve done it a few times… i don’t super like writing traditional coming-out stories because i just don’t care all that much so i’ll usually twist them around somehow if they’re necessary.

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

all of my life experiences inform my writing. that’s not me being facetious i just mean that i really like listening to people tell stories and telling stories myself and gossiping etc that i think it’s clear that i prioritize that in my writing

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

ah yes coal mining in 20th century nova scotia lmao

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

the very first paragraph from my nurseydex wip:

There are days where you think you could lose yourself in the fog and there are days where you wouldn’t mind. When you wake and it’s there eating the world up, surrounding it all like a living thing, voracious, and it’s even hungrier at night, and the only thing that reminds you you belong to the earth and are tied to it like the oldest and most solid daybeacon in the harbour is the horn, loud and long and haunting and filling. And the light. The light, the light, always the light.

#ask #laughingthelaughiest #my writing

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