#I feel so stupid but I genuinely do not know how to stop this.

[galedekarios]

gale & karlach

i think out of all the dynamics between the companions, i've come to enjoy gale and karlach the most over my time with the game. karlach especially bc she's the only one who genuinely seems to care about and for gale.

she repeatedly checks in on him after the orb reveal and doesn't turn it into a joke about slurping carrots, or sipping wine, or wanting him to be gone entirely from the group.

not only does she advocate for him to stay three times, depending on which dialogue path you pick:

gale's background story reveal & the reveal about the netherese orb

Karlach: Come on. We all have our secrets - and our risks. If Gale leaves, we might as well disband completely. - Karlach: Absolutely. We're all risky in our own ways. We stick together anyway. Right? - Karlach: If having dangerous, otherworldly objects stuck in your skin is wrong, then Gale and I both have to go. We're not really splitting up, are we?

but she's also the only one who repeatedly asks him throughout the game how he is doing, to make sure how he's faring, both in general and with his debilitating condition:

act 2 - shadow-cursed lands banter

Karlach: Doing all right, Gale? Gale: Oh, you know... Still alive and kicking, despite being surrounded on all sides by an endless manifestation of darkness and decay... devnote: Almost with a sigh. That's just how things are - Grim humour to it. Karlach: I feel it too. Here if you need a pick-me-up.

act 3 - after mystra stabilised the orb

Karlach: How's the orb treating you, Gale? Gale: Oh, quite well as a matter of fact. Since it was stabilised, it's been humming along nicely. Gale: I have noticed one adverse side-effect. I seem to be losing hair in some, er, unexpected places. Karlach: I can only imagine.

i think it really bears repeating/stressing that no other companion does this. not one checks in on gale like karlach does, after his affliction has become known to his companions - with the exception of the protag potentially.

karlach also arguably has the strongest reaction in response to mystra's demands in act 2, showing again her care for gale, as well as her protective side:

Karlach: Aw, was that Gale's granddad? Player: That was Elminster Aumar - the most famous wizard in the realms. Karlach: Huh. Doesn't ring a bell. But all right! Must've had something important to say to Gale, if he came all this way. Good news, I hope. Player: I don't think it was. It turns out Gale has an explosive bomb in his chest - and Mystra has asked him to use it to blow up the heart of the Absolute. Karlach: Whoa, now. He's got a... well, I guess that would explain a little, but... Mystra... I mean, this is a lot to take in. Karlach: What's he going to do? - Player - Option 1: I think he's going to follow through with it. Karlach: Fuck me. There's devotion, and then there's stupidity. If the god of magic can't handle this without sacrificing Gale, she's no god at all. - Player - Option 2: I don't think he'd do that to himself, even if Mystra commanded it. Karlach: Good. I'm one hundred percent sure there's another way to bring down this cult. No true god would ask such a thing from her faithful. That's for certain. Karlach: Poor Gale. He must be in bits after hearing that. I'll distract him. Tell him I haven't read a book since secondary school, watch his face melt off. - Player - Option 3: I'm not sure. I think he's of several minds. Karlach: Well, tell him to pick the right one. Better yet, I'll do it. Fucking wizards, man! They always need help picking the simple, obvious option. Karlach: If Mystra can't think of another way to stop the Absolute than sacrificing Gale, she's no god worth worshipping. I'll say that to Gale - in, you know, gentle terms. - Player - Option 4: You know that bomb in Gale's chest? Mystra has asked him to use it to explode the heart of the Absolute. Karlach: She what?! Is she mad?! - Player - Option 5: Don't worry about it. Karlach: Karlach doesn't worry, she acts. So if Gale needs me, now's the time to tell me.

i particularly like that last response bc it really echoes throughout her relationship with gale ("karlach doesn't worry, she acts. so if gale needs me, now's the time to tell me.").

their banters are often playful, but also genuine. both karlach and gale tease each other, they joke with each other, showing how comfortable they are with each other despite their many differences, but there are also moments of understanding and care between them, allowing them to emphasise with each other:

Karlach: Man, it's good to be home. First round on who? Gale: She who thirsts buys drinks the first. devnote: Like it's a well-known saying Karlach: You won't pin me down with a rhyme, wizard! devnote: Jockeying with Gale (prob supposed to be Joking with Gale) Gale: She who declines gets the worst of the wines.

Karlach: Just when I was getting used to the sky again... Gale: Fear not, Karlach. Sun, moon and stars will still be there waiting for us. devnote: Reassuring Karlach: Meanwhile, this place is pretty spectacular, isn't it? Gale: No book or painting could ever do its strange beauty justice. But perhaps our stories might, when we return to the surface. devnote: Agreeing with Karlach, enjoying the sense of wonder as you explore

Gale: I've always felt flames to be a rather perfect expression of love, Karlach. Gale: Passionate, primal, capable of bestowing the most life-affirming comfort, or inflicting the profoundest damage. devnote: Listing the qualities of fire, Romantic, indulging in the poetry of the image Karlach: That's... pretty nice. Never thought about it like that. But now I will.

Karlach: Wouldn't mind a dancing axe of my own. Gale: A simple movement charm wouldn't be too hard to apply to such an object. I could conjure one up for you if you like? Karlach: Yes! I like! Gale: Very wel then. Once the city is saved, Karlach's Kinetic Cleaver will be first on my list.

Karlach: So, Gale - got any book recommendations for me?devnote: With concern Gale: You can read?! devnote: Taking the piss - knows full well Karlach can read, and that she's always claimed not to enjoy it Karlach: Very funny. Yes - I can read. School put me off big boring tomes. Sometimes I wonder what I'm missing. devnote: Friendly rather than flirtatious Gale: Say no more - I'll find the perfect book for you. I might even lend it to you from my library in Waterdeep. devnote: Jumping on the opportunity to give a book recommendation (a favourite hobby) Karlach: Ooh! Something with magic, please. And no devils.

even at his most vulnerable moments, karlach is there to support him:

before the stormshore tabernacle audience with mystra

Karlach: You can do this, Gale. And I'll be right here when you're done.

she allows herself to be protective of him and get angry on his behalf not after when it comes to mystra, but also when he is potentially kidnapped by orin:

karlach's reaction to gale being kidnapped

Karlach: That bloody freak won't get away with this. That's my wizard she took. And we're going to get him back.

once again, it's a good callback to her previous line: "karlach doesn't worry, she acts. so if gale needs me, now's the time to tell me."

she's willing to be needed by him - and he does need her. whether that is as a friend, or (if you chose to play so during an origin pt) as a romantic partner. it's a lovely dynamic either way.

#gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #karlach #karlach cliffgate #karlach x gale #gale x karlach #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #ch: gale dekarios #ch: karlach #vg: baldur's gate 3 #series: baldur's gate #meta: mybg3 #i wanted to focus on a dynamic where a friend/partner focuses on gale #bc from what i see very often #that is neglected entirely #and often focuses more or completely on what gale can do for another #anyhow i love them

[richeeduvie]

This might be weird but like, how would Roman react to Baby just wanting to suck his balls? Just a sudden fascination with them?

Suckle

Roman Roy x Reader blurb

NSFW - ball sucking. Roman enjoys it, but he's also uncomfortable so beware of Roman Roy's uncomfortable nature.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.

It's a fascination that comes humorously. But you just want to.

It's stupid - funny and an embarrassment for Roman enough where you can tease him, there's barely a moment where he'll get at you for wanting to suck his balls and just his balls.

You know Roman, you know it'll get him small, shifty as much as it'll get him erect, bleeding on your pulse. A hard, small-hand pull on your pulse to keep your body close to him.

You watch him close his eyes, his mouth slightly curved in the middle. Already, Roman's so uncomfortable in how he doesn't know what you're about to do. It's perfect. His fingers pull at each other.

"How often do you think of your balls?"

"...Are you having an aneurysm?"

Roman's eye comes open when you unzip his pants, it widens when you don't pay attention to his flaccid cock. You just to pulling down until his thigh are pale and under your touch.

You kiss his thigh, then the other.

...You just want to suck his balls, make Roman small, but feeling good in how confused he'll be.

You pull his pants down to his ankles, looking over with a curved back like you're making the bed.

"Do you like the way the intimate parts of you look, Roman?"

"...What the fuck-"

Roman's shoulder roll when you kiss the tip of his cock, tongue swiping over. Not a beginning, just a tease - you only really want to suck on his balls. For the humor and enjoyment of it. It's comical in how badly you want to, so suddenly. You're not unaware of it. But Roman's unaware of what'll happen to him and that's the best of it.

There's a sharp, sharp breath of Roman's when you begin to suck on his balls. It's your mouth wet with your tongue swirling.

He shifts, moving up against the headboard. You hear his head knock against the clean cushioned wood.

"Why are you so-" Another breath. You know Roman won't survive if his eyes meet yours. You watch his fingers curl, digging into his palm. "Why are you so...so-"

You smile on his balls. He's all struggle. You've got him.

"Why are you so invested in my testsies all of a-fuck."

You suck. His cock comes hardened quickly, stretching out in a few more inches - but Roman does nothing to help satisfy himself. His fists grow tighter.

"Roman?"

He looks sick, a bit angry in his confusion of his own body. That's how you know he's being pleasured in a way. It's that or the times where he can't let go of you.

"Did someone suggest this? Did you fucking read about it?"

"...Hm? I do this all the time."

"You don't single my balls out during fellatio. You don't-"

He breathes in when you suck harder. He's right.

"Don't worry yourself into jealousy, Roman. It's sickly."

Roman's brows go up, then come down. You watch him watching you.

"I'm not fucking jeal-"

"Shut up. Enjoy yourself. Don't get sickly on me, it's gross. I only like you gross to a certain point."

Roman shuts up. You smile and suck more, a soft and wet noise following the way your mouth and tongue moves on him. Your other hand comes up to brush the shaft of his cock, but only for a bit. There's not fun in indulging him fully.

"...I knew you didn't love me unconditionally."

You stop sucking in the way Roman sounds so...genuine in his hurt. You don't know if he's fucking with you in his pitchy humor, but you see him swallow.

"Fucking knew it."

He says it so small. Almost whispered, but fully sure.

"Roman."

"I'm just - ha ha. I'm being funny, you're sucking me dry. It's funny-"

"Roman."

This was supposed to be fun. Or funny. SO, you have to come up from Roman, try and look him in the eye.

"I was joking. You of all people show know how serious the lining of a joke could look like. You're as stupid just as much as you are gross, but I love you always. So wipe that fucking look off your face. You enjoy things so uncomfortably."

Roman closes his eyes when you squeeze his balls.

"...You should really look into getting promoted to a figure of authority at Waystar. I'll make sure that won't happen, but still. It's nice for you to dream."

Roman pulls you back in by the wrist when you pull away.

"Keep...keep the unconditional ball sack love going, please?"

It's painful, how technically unsatisfying it is, but it's fucking perfect. You're a genius.

You smile. Of course. Anything for the man so pathetic. So perfect.

You come down, a lick swirling on Roman's balls. He closes his eyes for the longest while.

#inbox #hc's #drabble #dog and bone!au #roman roy x reader #roman roy fanfic #succession fanfiction

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

Please do a no nut November with daddy larz please please please….

A/n: Sorry it's so short, I hope you enjoy it nonetheless <3 I wasn't gonna add to the NNN thing but I had to for Lars, Danish princess is so pretty <3

Warnings: Smut, hand job, public sex, if you think I missed anything let me know otherwise enjoy!

Lars had heard about this stupid challenge through some friends. He tried to shut down the idea but his friends seemed pretty into it, thinking it would be fun to try. Seeing that his friends wanted to go through with it had him thinking it over.

He couldn’t get the idea of it out of his head and kept thinking about it his whole walk home. In theory it would be easy for him, his band was just getting started which was cool but they weren’t at the stage where people were throwing themselves at them or anything. He didn’t have a partner, not even someone he’d like to have as his partner. It would be easy, right?

As the month went on he kept the challenge in mind, checking in on his friends and how they were coming along. Sure enough by week two one of them failed, only fueling Lars’ ego with how easy this would be.

He was walking around his neighbourhood, thinking about this and that and the other thing when he noticed a garage sale. It was about noon, it was fairly busy as there were quite a few tables set up all filled with things. What caught his eye was the person he saw taking the money.

He swears he’s never laid his eyes on someone so beautiful. He came over, pretending to look around while he tried to think of something to say to start a conversation with you.

He couldn’t help but stare, eavesdropping on conversations just to hear your voice, your sweet laugh. Feeling someone’s eyes on you you glanced around before landing on Lars. His face flushed and he looked down, pretending to be uninterested.

You chuckled to yourself and went over to him. “Can I help you with something?” Lars just stared at you with a goofy grin.

“Uh, no, I’m just looking.” He replied after a long moment. “Um, why-why’re you getting rid of all this?” He asked, wanting to keep the conversation going.

“I’m going to college soon and I don’t need all of this.” You explained.

The both of you kept talking and eventually exchanged numbers. Over the next week you kept talking and hanging out, getting closer and getting to know each other. Another of Lars’ friends was out but he didn’t care, he had a pretty girl under his arm.

It was the night before you were supposed to leave for college and Lars wanted to take you out for one last stress free night. “Promise to call every day?” He asked. You were sitting on the hood of his old run down car at the top of a hill looking over the city like a cheesy romance movie.

You chuckled and nodded. “Yes, I’ll call you every day.” You leaned your head on his shoulder. His arm was around you and he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

“And you won’t find someone else?” He asked, a hint of worry sticking in his voice. “Not even if they’re taller and handsomer?” You knew this was a genuine fear of his, that you’d find someone better. It was still early in your relationship but that didn’t mean you were still looking, didn’t mean you wouldn’t have to tease him a little either.

“Mh, maybe.” You could feel Lars tensing a bit and he looked down at you. “I might need a little...” You trailed your hand up his thigh to his crotch. “Extra incentive~” This was definitely not the time that Lars wanted to be reminded of the challenge he and his friends had taken part in.

“Um, well, I just-” He stopped himself when you squeezed him through his jeans. You palmed him through his clothes, listening for what made your favourite sounds leave him and when you found one you liked you kept with it.

Lars was squirming a bit, reaching for you while you played with him. There was a road not far away, people passed by every now and then.

Lars’ moans were getting louder and he knew he shouldn’t, there was only a week left in the challenge and you were leaving. He reached for your hand and shook his head. “I-I can’t.”

You raised a brow at him. “Why not?”

“I-it’s this stupid challenge my friends told me about, I can’t, you know, until the end of the month.” He looked up at you and you couldn’t stop staring at his pretty eyes, plush lips and flushed cheeks.

“That’s stupid.” You said bluntly and kissed him. His arms wrapped around you and he held you close. “If not tonight then when?” You asked, pulling away slightly.

You undid his jeans and pulled him out of his underwear. Lars stared in awe as you started stroking him. You wanted to go slow in case he wanted you to stop but his head fell back and he began to moan again.

“Fuck, go faster.” He groaned, glancing down at his leaky cock in your hand. You sped up your pace, once again looking for that perfect sound. “Fuck, fuck! Fuck, ‘m gonna-ngh-gonna cum.” You kept the same fast pace and watched intently for his pretty, red dick to explode all over him.

Just as his high rocked through his body a car pulled up beside you guys. You put yourself between him and the car and quickly shoved him back in his jeans.

The people in the car next to you knew what you’d done but didn’t say anything and let you both sulk back into Lars’ car.

#metallica x reader #metallica smut #metallica imagines #metallica fanfiction #metallica #lars ulrich #lars ulrich smut #lars ulrich x reader

[boredelle]

someone feed my delusion and tell me mr. aaron hotchner would absolutely fall for me if he was real. tell me that I’d be ✨enough✨ for him.

#I’ve been struggling with stupid negative thoughts for 2 days. #I have allowed myself to care what people think of me almost my entire life. #I feel so stupid but I genuinely do not know how to stop this. #Like for real. Why do I give a fuck what a cousin I don’t even talk to is doing and why do I feel like I’m in some sick competition? #Why do I allow myself to care that any of my dad’s family are out doing things I’ve only dreamed of? #Oh I know. Because it fucking HURTS. #Just like them literally taking every single sympathy gift and flowers from his funeral #And the funeral director allowed them to because he’s friends with them. #They’re such pieces of shit and yet they walk around like they’re perfect and I’m STRUGGLING. God I am so miserable. #I’m so miserable because I rely on my own headcanons of a fictional man rescuing me away from this hell I’m in. #personal

[raininyourblackeyes]

My cousin, a published writer, a well-known poet in my country and a literature professor, for whom I've always been no.1 support ever since her first attempts at writing in high school, told me that I must stop writing as a hobby because that's her thing and since I'm writing fantasy mostly my writing could never have any important artistic value anyways.

#what happened was that i was feeling really down these past few days #like mental health dead in mariana trench #and i went to visit her because she lives like 10 minutes away and has a cat i can play with #but yesterday morning a friend of mine made a fanart (i guess i can call it that) of a fanfic i am writing for the five of them #she sent it to me and said she's also working on an actual painting on a camvas of her fave scene from my original story #and i was so surprised and exicted #that's actually a too mild description #and when i was visitting my cousin i showed her the pic of the drawing on my phone and explained it to her and she just said ....ehh.. #and started texting someone #i was sitting there feeling stupid and thinking wow you could have at least praised my friend's art sytle or something #and when i was getting ready to leave she asked me if i was aware my writing has no artistic merit and fantasy is trivial literature #so i should just stop wasting time on that and focus on developing my art style more for her future poetry collections #i do the art for her book covers #and added how we already have an established writer in the family so i should focus on my role - becoming a good pharmacist #and she knows how much i hate that i'm studying pharmacy like it's the no.1 cause of me hating the direction in which my life is going #finished it off by saying she feels like what she's doing in going to be really great and important on a large scale one day #and how she wants me to continue being her shadow that follows and supports her #i left went home and started at a wall for hours #i just feel so dumb for getting excited over a silly drawing of something not more than 5 people will ever read #i genuinely hate the idea of people reading anything i write so most likely writing will just remain a hobby for me #and now i feel like the most stupid person on earth and am this close to deleting all my word documents from both my laptops

[toytulini]

god I know this is like The Wrong Stance on AI. I know its not about whether the art is Real and Human or If It Has A Soul and how a lot of the arguments against it are the same bullshit arguments people made against digital art like I Know. I Knowwww. but god, I'm really sorry, not to post like one of those annoying poetry bloggers I cant stand (yall are valid, live your truth, theres nothing wrong with what you post I'm just a petty bitch who hates poetry. unless I dont hate it.)

But theres just something about the way AI art will almost certainly never be able to mimic the exact way my pencil leaves an indentation in the paper, the way some of the lines I can never fully erase cause I pressed too hard, theyll have to at least train them to draw with a physical pencil first, and sure, they could train it to draw with a pencil and even erase the exact same piece I drew, line for line, on a piece of paper with a robot arm powered by AI, but they can't replicate. idk. the lineage of lefty bitches in my family, and the way I grew up going through school with my entire left arm silver with graphite, from doodling on my schoolwork. not yet anyway. but I guess I do live for the day we make the ai sentient enough that we can traumatize it by giving it homework after kneecapping its executive functions so it copes by drawing a big tiddy lobster monster. sure

#toy txt post #reblogs OFF i dont trust yall to be normal with this one i do NOT want it getting notes #i posted part of this before in a chat to a friend but im feeling it again. so #i havent drawn my big tiddy lobster bitch in awhile i should draw her again #also yea SORRY im sure this is The Wrong Feeling To Have About AI but also sometimes im a little grateful that i dont think my style is #smth a lot of the ppl coding ai to make art find to be worth trying to replicate except maybe as like a fake progress shot on a piece #which is smth i used to be really insecure about. how unfinished all my art looks bc it isnt to the point i cant fucking watch #like speedpaints and shit bc i just start feeling stupidly insecure about all the points in the video where I Would Have Stopped and been #like. im not touching it anymore i dont want to ruin it #and ive been insecure about my inability to really do digital art with like a stylus and shit like the way i do it with a pencil #and i know that is just me needing to Practice it but being too frustrated by it #anyway i know its just a Tool and its Fine and the problem is the art theft and the labor problems of it but liiiiiiike #i just. #im sure there will be unique things and usages of ai as a tool and i genuinely hope that ppl can figure out a way to make one that isnr #isnt* just full of stolen content bc theres unique fuckin shit about like digital art programs u can write stupid poetry that you hate #about it. or stupid poetry that i hate. cos im the poetry hater. listen. i cant stress this enough: its fine. youre fine. keep posting your #poetry and reblogging shit that speaks to you. im just a Bitch okay Ignore Me #i should go draw bokrae like. eating a computer about this #the real reason for that graphics card shortage was bokrae ate them all when she was in the mood for a crunchy snack

[secretlythatsme]

i really love dc x dp tbh but i hate how so many fics end up making the batfam dumb as shit. and i don't mean in a "loveable goof" kind of way but in a genuine "these people don't have the skills or intelligence to be heroes" kind of way. which is just antithetical to their entire thing

sometimes it's because the writer just genuinely doesn't know anything about the batfam or what they've been through so they come across as idiots. and other times it's because the writer is writing op ghost king danny or just generally op danny and they genuinely think he could outsmart or beat them. more often than not, it's a combination of the two.

it's just so sad. like not only is it disrespectul to the batfam, essentially getting rid of all the skills and experience they have just to prop up danny, but it also makes things a lot more boring imo. don't get me wrong, i don't mind the occasional "main character is super op" kind of story, but it's boring when like 70% of fics are like that and there's no real challenge or obstacle for him. part of why the show danny phantom was so fun was that it was exciting and chair gripping to see danny have to deal with his new ghost powers, figuring out how to deal with ghost attacks or vlad, and dealing with school and his parents on top of that.

but often, dc x dp fics just,, get rid of any challenge for him. sure batman is a skilled detective but danny will always be able to trick him! sure cass has been trained since birth to read people's body language but this random ghost teen knows how to conceal and control everything!! yeah damian has also been trained since birth to fight and kill but this random guy from the midwest who just started fighting in his teens is so much better!!! like, alright. it's fun every now and then but it sucks when so much of the dc x dp content is just people acting like the batfam are the worst vigilantes/detectives in the world.

and honestly i still feel this way even with the ghost king danny fics because how? he's never had to deal with people obsessively reading his body language or reading between the lines. he's had to deal with hiding stuff sure but his parents aren't the most observant people - their whole deal was being neglectful. even as a ghost king, why would he know how to outsmart, take advantage of, or beat the batfam in any capacity when he would still mostly deal with ghosts. it's a completely different skill set here - one that he likely wouldn't be prepared for. it'd be fine if they at least attempted to explain why danny would have those skills (like league danny aus) but most of them don't.

and i'm not saying danny couldn't do it at all, especially if it's a ghost king au, but i'm just tired of seeing the batfam constantly downplayed in these fics Just to make danny look better, smarter, stronger, etc. ik most people in the fandom are just danny fans but it really shows with how they treat, characterize, and shit on the dc characters just to prop danny up. it also serves to occasionally make danny look like an asshole when he intentionally messes with them and basically commits psychological torture for a goof.

#man... #i Do like this crossover but i completely understand why so many dc fans hate it #the oocness the fanon the constantly making these skilled trained characters fumble around and get outsmarted by Some Guy #ghost king danny isn't even canon to dp! which isnt a bad thing by any means ik the dp fandom goes crazy for fanon #and generally speaking the fanon Is a lot more fun and engaging than dp's canon #but as a dc fan its insane to watch #i want to engage more with dc x dp content so badly like this crossover is really interesting to me #but so much of it is just 'the bat.fam are actually fucking useless and my blorbo is so much better :)))' #it's almost like they dont even like the bat.fam!!! they keep saying they just dont know/understand them #but it fully feels like they straight up dont like the dc characters #it definitely comes across as 'hey this is a fun world to put danny in lets do that while also shitting on it and all of the characters' #'lol bruce is so stupid this random teen can outsmart him and he can lie to cass and he can beat dick in a physical fight lol' #there's a point where it stops feeling like indulgent op blorbo and more like insulting anyone who isn't danny #<thats actually exactly what it is and its insane to me like why even like crossovers if you dont want to engage with anyone but danny #how can you say you like them when you outright refuse to know them or respect them? #and obviously im using 'you' in a vague way im not specifically calling anyone out #ik there are people in the fandom who are genuinely fans of both and Do know and respect the dc characters #but so far its very few and far between which is just such a fandom culture shock for me #like in most fandoms im able to read a lot of fics and only occasionally think 'thats not right' #but with this one its the other way around - im constantly going 'they wouldnt say/do that at all why does the op think that?' #like 9 out of 10 fics im like 'oh yeah this person has never read a comic in their life' #i can immediately tell when someone has only read the webtoon its extremely obvious unfortunately #maybe i should make a dc masterlist for dp fans... like here you can write about them again After you do your homework ajdhgl

[nightfallsystem]

u guys ever think about killing urself for everyone elses sake.

just so people wont have to go thru the annoyance of talking to me or the disgust of seeing my face so they can be happier by talking to their other friends instead of me so they dont have to deal with my actual fucking stupidity

#tw vent #tw suicide #ingnore this. btw. or dont i cant stop you lol #imsso close to cutitng off everyone i know so they can be happier i alreadyblocked a few people i knewnow ionly know one person irl #imf so glad she found other people so she'll be completely fine if i disappear out of her life her life sounds like its going great actuall #ruining my life ^_^ #i dont want to talk to people but for their sake #IM GENUINELY SO FUCKING STUPID AND UPSETTING TO TALK TO . #does anyone even love me anymore #im probably doign this for my own selfish reasons #i dont go outside anymore for everyone else sake. so they dont have to see my ugly face. or deal with my awful speech #at least i can still draw.... only way i can mkae people happy.. #im mean to myself more than anyone else is mean to me at htis point. why #im not even capable of becoming mentally well at hthis point. im a lost cause #tell me what you rlly think . just tell me to shut the fuck up. just call me annoying. whatever u say cant be worse than what i do to mysel #pleasee im just dragging u down and making u feel worse whenever u tlak to me DO YOU NOT REALISE IT #i dont want to feel better for myself i want to feel better so i can be useful to others #i fucking hate people but i love them a lot . i gues i just hate how i affect others. social outcast i guess

[frecklystars]

i dont know what's wrong with me but i always feel so sad and heartbroken when i see Colt.

like i feel so overwhelmed with love for him but i really cannot imagine him loving me back. like. like. he's everything. and i'm just keri. y'know.

augh. it feels... impossible. like i am not Good Enough for him. he would not look twice at me. i didn't used to have this problem until i was abused for so long and now it's like... i cannot imagine receiving love unless if it is through violence. oogh. hurts my heart like a motherfucker. i miss the old me.

#before this year happened i was always SO 100% ready to self ship #i would look at ANYONE. any any ANY character in the WORLD #and i'd be like. oh they'd love me!!! no doubts in my mind whatsoever. they LOVE me!!!! even the worst villains ever!!! #BUT nowadays im constantly like. ok i am not good enough. i am not pretty enough #i am not [insert word here] enough no matter what i'd do to change my appearance or personality to fit someone's desires #i *never* used to look down on myself THIS often and to THIS degree #now i genuinely believe that i cannot be loved unless it is through violence #or that im only desirable if im in a vulnerable position where im in pain or hurting bc i was told it made me 'cute' #and like?? it's stupid? they're fictional? why can't i just... stop thinking that lowly of myself? #my abuser is gone so why am i still believing all of the things they said to me?? #i want Colt to love me for Me. i want Ken to love me for Me #but i also feel like. im unlovable to them unless if im useful or... bleeding or beaten up or something. christ #TF f/os are gone. out the window. i lost them. and im so scared of losing my Ryan F/Os too when i need them so badly #idk how to be myself bro i dont know where the old me is!!! #im being stupid im sorry i just gotta throw this into the void 😭 #vent #delete later #abuse mention

[whumpacabra]

There’s a post going around recently about how the whump community tags for disabled characters and I…have to disagree with its main point.

Simply tagging a post with ‘disabled whumpee’ does not give me enough information to know if a fic will be validating or triggering for me. I need more specific tags to filter out my squicks and triggers, and to identify posts of interest. Specific tags are the keystone of a community that specifically talks about potentially triggering or upsetting content.

For example, I like reading stories with characters that use prostheses and mobility aids. I find these stories relatable and validating as someone with both! But should those posts simply be tagged ‘disabled whumpee’ because it might conflict with the other users of the mobility aids and prostheses tags? I can only find out the nature of the whumpee’s disability by reading, and a negative outcome can at best turn out to be a waste of time or at worst deeply upsetting.

Cancer is a difficult topic for me given my past and current experiences with it. I have the cancer tag and a dozen variants of it blocked. Of course, people on tumblr with cancer or talking about their experiences with it use that tag to talk about it. If someone is writing about a character who has or had cancer, but only tags for ‘disabled whumpee’ I won’t know that I’m getting into a story that will cause me great distress.

I’m disabled. I have severe nerve damage, limited mobility, chronic pain, a plethora of other medical bullshit, and my condition is progressive. Whump is part of how I’ve been learning to deal with and process my struggles, and part of that involves writing and reading about disability in whump.

Do I just block all ‘disabled whumpee’ content and never know if I’m clicking on a story I’ll find relatable and validating or if I’m clicking on a story that will upset me so badly I won’t use tumblr for a few days? No - I block specific tags and specific blogs as necessary. The idea that we should stop using specific tags, when writing about a specific condition or disease, to put everything under one vague blanket is naive at best and dangerous at worst.

I understand the frustration of seeing posts you don’t want to see in a specific tag (the number of x reader headcanon blogs for fandoms I’ve never heard of that I’ve had to block when trying to browse is ridiculous). But at the end of the day if those posts are tagged appropriately (ie. not crosstagged spam in violation of the TOS) you just do what you always do for something you don’t want to see on this site: blacklist, block, and move on.

#whump #whump community #tagging etiquette #beans speaks #it’s fine if you disagree/are changing how you tag your disabled whumpee writing but I’m not so please feel free to block me (genuine) #if you see me in a specific tag you don’t want to see whump writing in #I understand where that post is coming from but also. is we stop tagging specific tags. how the fuck am I supposed to avoid my triggers??? #I just don’t understand tumblr’s block and blacklist options are wayyy more effective than they’ve ever been. #and I don’t see how tagging a post that contains the depiction of apples would be clogging the apple tag? it’s an appropriate use of the tag #do I want to see posts about the fictional mlp character applejack when browsing the apple tag? probably not. #but I understand why the tag search included those posts and why the poster tagged the post with such. I block them and move on. #my blood sugar is low sorry if this is rambly and incoherent and. I don’t know stupid or insensitive? #disabled people are not a monolith we all have different opinions and preferences for how we interact with the topic of our disabilities #and removing specificity for the sake of…inconvenience just seems silly #sorry I haven’t read that post in a few days I might sound like a complete asshole in which case idk send gore and death threats I guess #I haven’t done tumblr discourse since 2015. do people still send KYS or is it all kungpowpenis these days?

[caterpillarinacave]

People need to talk about Roman Torchwick more

#I’m genuinely serious Roman holiday makes him such an interesting charcater #Becuase he’s not??? Like??? Evil??? #like he’s simultaneously such a total ass and so nice #It seems like literally his entire childhood was him doing something nice and getting it thrown back into his face #Like to the point that it’s almost stupid #It takes him like 15 more years than it should have to decide to stop trusting people #It makes me wonder so much how it would have gone if the government did it’s job and didn’t leave him to die on the streets #Like if ONE singular good person or even just an okay person was like “yeah come with me you can have a place to stay and I won’t beat you” #He’d be like “well I guess the world is a good place” #If someone tossed him into beacon he’d still be a sarcastic fruity asshole but you KNOW he’d kick ass #I have so many feelings #Rwby #roman torchwick #neo #neopolitan #roman holiday #Y’all know that audio “I got some colour back. She thinks so too. I laugh like me again” #The things I would do with that id roman holiday was animated #For a raving lunatic he’s pretty well adjusted

[musical-chick-13]

Fandom be normal about bi women challenge (impossible. apparently.)

#look. I too am tired of (white) men getting praised for the bare minimum #but you all do realize that sometimes women do genuinely fall in love with men right #that women are capable of making their own decisions about who they date right #this is one of the reasons that I hate the 'genuinely I hate every single individual man' rhetoric #because so many times it goes hand in hand with this infantilization of women who are attracted to men #it's like 'oh these poor girls trapped in their attraction to men' and then like...treating them as if they are incapable of making informe #choices? like they're just inherently doomed to gravitate toward awful men because they Don't Know Any Better and are #Brainwashed By Society??? please tell me you understand why treating women as if they are too stupid to make their own decisions #is just misogyny again. you understand that right. RIGHT. #'why would you CHOOSE to date a man instead of doing the RESPONSIBLE and PROGRESSIVE and REVOLUTIONARY thing and date a woman!' #because sometimes. women fall in love with men. you can't. you can't will love into existence. you can't control who you fall in love with. #and people-if it's feasible-tend to want to commit to someone they have actual feelings for. what's not clicking here. #(and yes obviously this is a niche-queer-spaces-specific problem people don't have discourse about this in this way irl like the #general population isn't telling me I should only ever be attracted to women and date one solely For The Cause they don't want me #to be interested in women at all. that doesn't stop me from being annoyed every time I see said niche-space-specific ''''take'''') #it's especially confusing to me when BISEXUAL PEOPLE are like this about other bisexual people. like you of all people. should know #how maligned we are from multiple conflicting angles #In the Vents #biphobia #like I know I talk SO much about women and how I want to marry one but that genuinely is just because historically I have been more #attracted to women than men. if I meet a man I click with and fall in love with then hell yeah I'm gonna date him and be happy about it. #I'm not opposed to that outcome at all. but heaven forbid I ever say that lmao

[werebutch]

Ok goodnight I’ve been anxiety ridden over seemingly everything the past week or so to the point where my TUMMY won’t stop HURTING for ONE MINUTE the whole time. I’m scared I’m so scared of everuthing I’m scared

#my hrt appointment is on tues I’m scared. math I’m scared. socializing I’m scared. #will I ever stop feeling like I’m going to die whenever I hang out with people. like I thought this was stupid kid stuff but genuinely #makes my blood run cold sometimes just thinking about it. like I’m sooo special enough to be hated that much. get over urself. OMG #but I can’t. I think my problem is that I’m kind of a control freak and I have NO control over how people perceive me. not really #UGH SOOOO STUPID. even if it’s just going to get food or something. literally debilitating it’s horrible it like freezes me in place #being alone gets rid of the fear in the moment but I’ve been feeding that for like a couple years now. and the more I do the worse it gets #UGH. #I know the only way out is through but I’m gonna whine about it the entire time. why the hell is it so stressful for me.. even if I know #the person really likes me.. -__-

[pepprs]

june 27th give it up for june 27th

#purrs #delete later #sure would be an INFINITELY more special and auspicious day if there wasn’t going to be • thunderstorms all day • a budget meeting • two #back to back orientations where i am going to have to take on 2X THE FACILITATION ROLESSSSS 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪 bc we’re doing that now. LMFAOOOOOO #<- and by that i mean splitting up the facilitation so instead of 4 ppl shari ng responsibility for talking AND doing logistics there’s 2 #ppl talking and 2 ppl doing logistics. and mutuals need i remind you that facilitating this specific session requires being extremely high #energy and mobile and getting ppl ‘hyped’ and there are 383729473 reasons why that is difficult for me to do in front of 100+ new students #plus three cofacilirators i am scared of / intimidated by for various reasons. im going to be sick soooo genuinely. i HATE this 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 #anyways yeah. today is my one year anniversary and also my first day as an fte so. 🫠 and one year ago today was pretty awful too like my #first day was actually extremely extremely bad and i cried like multiple times every day that week bc it kept getting worse so. love how #things have changed so substantially since then and the things that triggered me on that day aren’t an issue anymore <3 (they are very much #still an issue it’s just the specific people involved have changed bc half the ppl working here including one of my dearest closest #mentors who was deeply involved in that situation have left the university and now it is utterly unrecognizable and every day i wake up in #an alternate universe i know deep down i am not supposed to be in and yet im trapped in it irreversibly and this IS my universe now. lolll 🥰 #)) also ik it’s stupid to still be grieving over this but like. the entire way it all went down + the fact that it even did in the first #place and the STAGGGERING consequences of it. are kind of insane. every new development makes me feel more and more like im living in a fake #reality and nothing that is happening is supposed to be happening and im dreaming it all but it’s a bad dream. and idk how to accept #that this is NOT. a dream and that what happened happened and now i have to live with it and stop curling in on myself like a prey animal an #and isolating myself from everyone i love and taking every single conceivable situation badly. like tfw da therapy isn’t working 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 #anyways i need to go get ready and practice the fucking 16 page facilitation guide 🙄 see u on the other side lol

[toytulini]

would be cool this yr to do like first aid training maybe?

#toy txt post #hope i can. get an opportunity to do that. not sure when. the horrors and inability to commit to things u see #but i think i should do that #at some point. altho i feel like i will almost certainly have to do CPR training? and like. like it seems like useful knowledge. and like. #i should know it and maybe im the worst person in existence for this but im a bit of a germaphobe and scared of covid and im not taking my #mask off so like. feels like. that is pretty mutually exclusive with CPR unless thereve been advancements im not aware of? #like would i be able to carry around some sort of billows but for human lungs to do that instead of my mouth? idk. this has in fact been #a legitimate hurdle to me wanting to pursue first aid training. sorry. genuinely dont know how to reconcile that and maybe! in a crisis #situation id overcome it to save a person. genuinely do not know. sorry im like a selfish horrible bitch tho and i cant see myself #doing CPR and am icked by the idea of even learning it. i know now they make those things to put on someones mouth but its still like. #that doesnt do anything against respiratory shit...idk. like is it worse to not pursue any of this at all to avoid the ethical quandry of #not wanting to deal with CPR even as a concept bc im a stupid baby squicked out by lip touching? or is it worse to do first aid and learn #like everything except CPR so i could still theoretically help in some cases that arent necessarily CPR. idk. im sure im just a Bad Person #for this and hate to even admit it. i think i should at least try to find a stop the bleed course or smth ig

[running-in-the-dark]

.......

#it's just. so fun when you're yearning for something hard enough that it feels like you've got a fever. I... am not cut out for this #(writing things. that involve people. that I want to touch. badly.) #it's literally so ridiculous. can't even write a conversation with someone without making myself feel like I'm ill lol #nothing is happening! not the slightest bit of anything at all. and I'm just sitting here fanning myself like it's the middle of summer and #I'm about to pass out #this also isn't good for my productivity. because it's more fun than doing something useful #also much MUCH better than just thinking about it. I don't know why it took me 32 years to realise that hey. my mind can't drift off in the #middle of every second sentence if I'm just writing it down. seems obvious now. but. I am not smart. so. #i mean it is kind of nice to just. get to do the same parts over and over again for literal months but also. it gets frustrating. #anyway. that is too much information again because I already feel weird enough about this #but you know how it is. I have a thought so the mutuals need to know. etc. #man I am stupid #annnd I think I need to stop for tonight because my head genuinely feels like it's gonna start melting any minute now #ah yes. dialogue. about nothing. scandalous. 🤦🤦🤦🤦 #personal