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kiaxet · 8 months

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HOW ABOUT THAT @somerandomdudelmao DISASTER TWIN REUNION, HUH

Went a little feral to the tune of 2.2K words of self-indulgence. What else is new?

~~~~~~~

Donnie can't sleep. More accurately, he won't sleep. Not until he's done. He'd never been one to leave a project unfinished; death and resurrection hadn't changed that.

He taps incessantly, repetitively, on a keyboard and screen, the motions long since past inputting data and now only serving to keep him awake. The repetition is soothing, easy, and - counterintuitively - he finds his head drooping forward into sleep-

And he snaps back upright. No. Not until he can confirm Leo is okay.

Leo is behind him, he knows. Breathing. In bed. Asleep. Very much alive. And-

He jumps and whips around as a thud sounds behind him. "What the-"

Leo is on the floor.

Well, that answers the question as to whether his twin is awake.

For a fraction of a second, part of him wavers uncertainly. He loves his idiot twin. The question he hasn't been able to answer is whether his reaction to Leo waking up will fall on love or idiot twin-

"Leo!"

He can hear the exasperation in his voice, and yep, it's the latter. He takes a knee next to Leo and hauls him into his arms, lecturing him all the while, and if he can hear the annoyance in his voice then Leo sure as hell can. Sleep deprivation for the purposes of keeping his brother's soul alight had done nothing for his temper. "I swear to God, all you had to do was make a sound! Why are you such a difficult patient?"

He deposits Leo carefully on the bed - "Sit still!" - and checks him over, running every scan he can think of and making sure his brother's new body really is in good working order, spouting increasingly irritated commentary all the while. Of course the fall didn't hurt him - Leo is tougher than that, and Donnie does better work than that - but he still can't help the rising anxiety in his throat.

This almost didn't happen.

"-stupid, stupid selfless idiot!"

Donnie almost couldn't save him.

"Grrhh-"

Leo nearly died for real. Permanently beyond Donnie's reach. Well and truly gone-

"Do you have any idea how close you were to having nothing left to save?"

And now here Leo is, in perfect health, sitting on Donnie's bed with a big dopey grin on his face as Donnie chokes on his anxiety and damn near shakes himself apart-

Oh for fuck's sake.

"Hey. Are you even listening?"

Leo speaks up for the first time since he's woken up, voice shaky from disuse. "D-Donnie?"

And that is not a goddamn answer to anything Donnie has been saying, because of course it isn't. It's Leo. He's always had his own priorities. "Yeah. No. You're not fucking listening." Donnie heaves a long-suffering sigh, sinking back into the routine comfort that irritation at his twin provides. "At least you're talking." Small favors. "Although I'm surprised you're not throwing your stupid jokes at me." Even smaller favors.

He stops short as Leo's hand closes around his wrist, drawing Donnie's arm to Leo's plastron. "You're real," his brother breathes, looking from Donnie's hand to Donnie himself with tears streaming down his face. "You're real!"

And then, in the space of a thought, Leo's joy breaks, his smile turning desperate. "Are you?"

For a moment, Donnie stares at his twin, wondering at the sudden change in expression. He takes a breath-

And the part of him that had lain dormant for so long after he'd woken up - the part of him that had been screaming for his twin's safety ever since they'd recovered the few scattered embers of Leo's soul - gasps to life, blooming like a time-lapse video of a flower and reaching to the edges of Donnie's soul. Leo had called it their twin sense, and Donnie hadn't had it in him to argue after a while. Whatever it is, it's back, connected to Leo's renewed presence, and-

Donnie's heart floods with emotions. Relief and joy sprout quickly and are nearly swept away in a tide of exhaustionanxietyfearfearfearfearFEAR-

But down beneath it all, steady against the rising wall of terror, is the little blue spark of hope that his brother always carried. His core. The thing that let him continue on in the face of insurmountable odds, and lent that same strength to everyone around him. A ninja's greatest weapon.

It's Leo. It's Leo-

And Donnie can't leave him alone in his fear. Not when there's no need for it. Not when they're safe.

He lets that breath out, and sits next to Leo on the bed. "Mhm. I'm alive. And you're alive. We're safe. The Krang are gone." That's all the news that's fit to print, or at least the most important parts. What else does he have to say?

Oh.

"I'm sorry I..uh…"

He's sorry he what? Died? Left a mess for Leo to deal with? Didn't do enough while he was alive to keep everyone else alive in turn after he was gone? Kept his brother's soul in a fucking mug, because that was the only way he could ensure he wouldn't break it while Leo was still fragile? All of the above?

…yeah, it's all of the above.

He owes Leo one hell of an apology, and he's never been good at any of this, so instead he shrugs haplessly and leans forward, pulling Leo into his arms and hanging on tight.

It's a matter of moments before Leo has him flat on his shell on the bed and is sobbing into his arms. Normally he'd hate seeing his twin cry, but it's proof of life - proof that Leo made it, that his soul is intact enough for him to still be Leo, that he's alive and awake and here - and Donnie will take it.

And if he's squeezing Leo back pretty hard himself, well, that's fine too. Nobody else needs to know.

~~~~~~~

Donnie is yelling at him.

Donnie is strong enough to have picked Leo up off the ground, well enough to be on his feet without support, running tests and reading Leo the riot act over his latest boneheaded maneuver - in this case, forgetting he was missing an arm and falling out of bed.

Donnie is yelling at him, because Donnie is here to yell at him.

And Leo is smiling, because he couldn't be happier. He lets the words wash over him, draping over his shoulders like a favorite cozy blanket that he'd lost so many years ago, and he basks in the warmth that is his brother's voice and smiles.

It's enough to interrupt the yelling for a question, though he doesn't really hear it - just keeps smiling, and says Donnie's name, and it's so nice to be able to say it with a smile now, because Donnie is here-

-he is, right? This isn't just a dying hallucination on Leo's part, right?

(It couldn't be- he remembers his death, remembers breathing his last, remembers being trapped- but this-)

He reaches out, taking Donnie's wrist in hand, and pulls his brother closer to him. "You're…real…" It certainly feels real - skin and scales, softer than his own, and his fingers barely fit all the way around the wrist instead of encircling them with room to spare - and he stares down at it, tears rolling down his face as he finally looks back up at his twin. "You're real!"

The Krang show you what you want to see.

The thought strikes him unbidden, turning his joy and relief to ice. It's a well-known fact: a Krang infection can show its host what they want to see, visions of comfort and family and home, and extract intel from the host's reactions. He knows that- he knows that, and-

And he'd died surrounded by Krang- and even if he couldn't see or hear or feel, he knows he'd been held captive-

But it's Donnie- he wants this to be real- he needs this to be real- he wants his twin back so badly he can't think, and the idea that this could be a Krang hallucination is almost too much to bear-

"Are you?" He can hear how choked the words are as they leave his lips, but he needs to know-

And Donnie stops, and sits down next to him, and tells him everything he wants to hear - everything he could've ever wished for. They're alive. They're safe. The Krang are gone. It all sounds too good to be true.

And then Donnie offers him an apology and a sad half-smile, pulling him into a strong hug-

And the ice in Leo's mind shatters in a flood of warmth as his twin sense opens for the first time since Donnie's death. He feels his twin's irritation, and deep-seated exhaustion, and a choking wave of guiltguiltguiltguiltguilt-

And beneath it all, steady and strong as ever, the thrum of unending determination, powered by an unfathomably deep well of love. It's the backbeat to the melody of Leo's life, the point-counterpoint to his own heartbeat- it's something he'd never had to live without until he did, but it's back, rushing in to fill the silence he'd known with the strength to go on and the knowledge that he is loved loved loved, strong and overwhelming and all-encompassing in the way only Donnie can love-

It's something the Krang could never imitate.

This is real. This is all real-

He throws himself against his twin, toppling them both over on the bed as he clings to Donnie, unable to stand even a fraction of an inch of space between them, as though he could push their hearts together through their plastrons, and he cries, sobbing out worry and terror and grief and the slow, crushing exhaustion of a losing battle finally lost. He cries as though the world was ending - and it had, once when the Krang had invaded and again every time he'd lost a member of his family, over and over until he'd sent his last hope through a portal that had cost his littlest brother his life and succumbed to death himself.

And now he's alive. Here, wherever here is, with Donnie. Clinging to his twin, and being held in turn as Donnie gently sits them both up, never letting go as Leo cries himself out.

It takes a while - long enough for Leo's gaze to settle into a stare and his thoughts to settle into a comfortable static. He's alive, Donnie is alive, and he has no fucking idea what else is going on, but he's just going to be okay with that for now.

His thoughts rouse enough to inform him of something wrong - the line of tension Donnie is carrying down his neck and over his shoulders. That won't do. Leo could try to massage it out with one hand, maybe try to get Donnie to talk about it, but Donnie never likes to talk about it, and Leo isn't one for slowly soothing away tension when he can just take an axe to the release valve instead. Plus, it gives him something definite to focus on, instead of…this whole situation. Whatever 'this whole situation' actually is.

Donnie had mentioned his stupid jokes, right?

"H-hey Dee?" His voice wavers from disuse, thick with tears, but he pushes through. "Why did- why did the tree buy a camera?"

"What?" Oh, Donnie is not going to see this coming. Excellent.

"To do a photosynthesis." It's nowhere near the level of pizazz he normally uses for a punchline delivery - he's still too tired and frazzled and clinging to Donnie entirely too hard for that - but that beautiful pause of a terrible joke sinking in tells him it had hit home nonetheless. Donnie moves - he can hear the telltale slap of face meeting palm - and then breaks down into helpless laughter, smacking the back of Leo's shell as the tension Leo had felt in his twin's shoulders abruptly relaxes. Good. It worked.

"This is so fucking stupid," is all Donnie manages as his laughter fades, and he slumps fully against Leo with a murmur. That's...abrupt. Sure, Leo had felt Donnie's exhaustion, but he hadn't realized it'd been that bad. He takes hold of Donnie, gently laying him down on the bed to rest-

Remember what happened last time Donnie fell asleep next to you.

He gasps sharply at the thought - not again NEVER again - and keeps his hand steady as he moves, laying both fingers gently against Donnie's neck and feeling for his pulse. It's easy to find, strong and steady and even, like it had been before the infection had taken Donnie's vitality and then his life.

But he's alive, and healthy, and sleeping. He's okay. And Leo-

Leo moves his hand to the side of his own neck. His pulse is also easy to find, quickened with the adrenaline of an unknown situation and multiple consecutive shocks to his system.

Okay. Take stock. Assess. Figure out a plan from there.

He's alive. Donnie's alive. The Krang are gone. And everything else…is a big fat question mark, with no easy answers and no indication as to where to begin looking for them.

Well.

Uh.

"What the fuck," Leo whispers to the room at large, as though the walls could answer.

~~~~~~~

(A world away and still very close, a younger pair of twins cling to one another the way a drowning man clings to driftwood: desperately, clutching tight, as though letting go will spell their doom. Neither of them know where the emotions came from, or why; all they know is that each of them are damn glad the other is alive, and they'll do everything they can to make sure that continues to be the case.)

(What the fuck, indeed.)

#rottmnt #cass apocalyptic series #future leo #future donnie #fic #writing #cw sibling death #mention of it at least #referencing the scrapped movie storyboards because it's too good a beat to pass up #we have fun here #no gods no betas we die like NOBODY BECAUSE DONNIE FUCKING FIXED IT #I GUESS #twin sense shit is my FUCKING JAM #inexplicable mystic bonds between two halves of a whole? sign me the FUCK up #I couldn't decide whose POV to write this from so I just did both #which is WHY it's 2K+ words #it's not perfect but it's Good Enough and therefore it's getting posted #fuck it we ball

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fujobrainrot · 1 month

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Part 1: ill wind

I can't draw rn but I keep having thoughts™, so I decided to try to write them instead. This is part 1 of however many. I already wrote 3 parts and I'll post them soon, after I finish editing them. This is unbeta'd so I welcome any constructive criticism. The lore is completely fucked because of changes in the timeline so just roll with it. Title is from a Radiohead song

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1600-ish words, gen, no ships, no TWs (may change in the future), John centric/John's POV

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Summary: John didn't die and Sam is deep into his blood addiction.

He never thought he'd live to see the day that Sam would succumb to the filth inside him. He always knew he'd be the one to kill him once he did.

John had followed Sam from the motel where he shared a room with the demon Ruby. Whose blood he drank regularly. Azazel’s rot - his Sammy would never do something so vile of his own volition. His plan had been to confront Sam there, in the parking lot of the motel, and kill the monster his son had become. After that, he would hunt down Ruby and deal with her. He had never told his sons, didn’t want them to use it, but he possessed a knife that could kill demons, acquired through means he was not proud of. He had used it only once, in a scuffle where he had no choice, it was either kill or die, no time for an exorcism. But as the demon died, so did the host. John was no stranger to murder - he had done unspeakable things in his time with the marines, and more yet to protect his Sammy from a group of hunters who had learned of the boy’s tainted blood and decided to take matters into their own hands - but his vow as a hunter was to protect people, and he would uphold it as best he could. God help him, though, he would make an exception for Ruby. He knew nothing of the poor woman she had locked away inside herself. Was she a sister? A mother? What were her dreams, aspirations, hobbies, talents? It didn’t matter, she would die too.

There, in that parking lot, looking at Sam, however, he couldn’t do it. With his heart beating fast, mouth dry, his hands trembling, his blood rushing so fast he could hear nothing else, he hesitated. By the time he came to his senses, Sam was already in his car. So he followed him. John had hotwired the oldest, most decrepit car he could find before coming here, couldn't just take the Impala given the circumstances, and used it to follow Sam expertly. He had taught his boys everything they knew, everything that made them, including their faults and weaknesses. Maybe those most of all. So he knew exactly how to tail them unnoticed, had done it before.

It had to be tonight. Not another day could pass, John refused to let his boy deteriorate further.

Sam seemed to have been headed to the closest dive bar at first, but after parking, he walked past it and into the wilderness behind it. John knew how to traverse any environment, be it urban or wild, without making a sound, knew how to take advantage of blind spots and shadows. Especially an environment like this, with thick flora, hot and damp and alive. It reminded him of his service, put him in a very specific mindset, like he could go through with any order, regardless of how opposed to it he may be. Made him feel like a soldier. Ready - and yet unprepared.

After some time stalking his son, when he feels he’s far enough away from civilization, he decides it’s time, can’t delay this any longer. He raises his gun and shouts Sam’s name.

Sam turns quickly and meets his father’s eyes in the gloom, his own demon-black and large in surprise, and John's full of anger and the fear he can't allow himself to feel. John grips his gun with both hands on the handle, finger on the trigger, safety off, muzzle trained on Sam’s heart. He’s marine steady.

The air is stale and humid in this swampy forest and his boots caked in mud. John's feet are uncomfortable inside damp are socks. Surrounding them are the sounds of insects, frogs, the occasional howl of some canid. It makes John sweat with anticipation, but he can see that his son's skin is dry, unnaturally so. Lit by the full moon filtered by the canopy above them, he looks pale, long dead. Marble smooth.

Sam's mouth slowly curls into a mirthful and derisive smile, one that looks like it should show sharp blood-covered fangs instead of his son’s perfect white teeth. His dimples frame that disgusting grin in a way that turns John's stomach with the wrongness of it. It's uncanny. His hands are still steady though. It has to be tonight.

Sam breaks the silence with a snicker. “What do you think you’re doing?” he pauses, but John can’t say a word. “Are you here to kill me?”, he laughs again, louder, cruel. John’s doesn’t falter, but his throat is tight and dry, can’t force out a single word. He won’t admit it but the fact is that, under Sam’s gaze, he doesn’t know what to say. Sam spreads his arms, “Go on, then.”

His son. His boy, his baby, his Sammy. A bead of sweat rolls down his temple. Pull the trigger, he tells himself, but he doesn’t. He’s not your Sammy anymore. He’s Azazel’s weapon. “It’s not too late, Sam”, John finally manages, his voice gravel rough but thankfully steady. He takes his finger away from the trigger. What the fuck? Yes it is, he’s too far gone. There’s nothing you can do for him now. “You can be cured, Sammy, I know how. I can help you”, he pleads.You can’t. Finish him. He clicks the safety on, lowers his gun. Idiot. “You don’t have to do this, don’t have to be this - this-” Crap. He hates it when he stutters.

“Yes I do. You know it, don’t lie to me - to yourself.” Sam finally drops his arms, and his demeanor changes. He tilts his head down a bit, somber. His eyes look bigger like this. “You’ve always known there was something dirty in me, since I was a little kid. You’ve known so much about this, about me, and - and you lied, and you kept lying. Hell, you even know his name! How long, huh? How long have you known his name and you never told me?” Sam barks out a laugh, sardonic and defeated at the same time. After a moment he continues. John thinks he sounds exhausted. “You know why I need to do this dad. I need to stop Lilith, I’m the only one -”

“No, you’re not”, John interrupts, loud and assertive. He’s glad his trepidation doesn’t come through. “We can figure this out, Sam, we have other options. We can figure out how to make more bullets. And even if we can’t use the Colt for whatever damn reason, there’s gotta be something somewhere on how to stop her. We’ll find another way. We always do” John begs. Sam’s expression doesn’t change.

There’s a pregnant pause between them. The air feels thick, heavy, suffocating in John’s lungs. He can do this, needs to do this, to bring his baby back to him, to protect and fix him. He needs to kill him. He needs to wash away his sickness, he needs to destroy Azazel’s weapon no matter what it takes, he needs -

Sam takes an apprehensive step towards his father. Yes baby, please, please come to me. The closer Sam gets, the more John’s relaxes. His chest fills with warmth and although Sam’s eyes are still hard and black, John can already feel his son in his arms. He lets go of himself then, his hands shaky and his furrowed brows relaxing, his breath quick, though he doesn’t let himself smile yet. He thinks he’s about to cry. When Sam reaches him, John's eyes are wet. Sam’s face is still unreadable to him however. It doesn’t look light and hopeful like it should be in a moment like this, but he chooses to ignore it. He hasn’t had his boy this close to him in months.

Then, Sam wraps one hand around John’s own on the grip, and the other around the barrel, and part of John feels delirious at the skin to skin contact he missed so much with his youngest, so desperate he was that this feels like a caress, that he doesn’t register Sam’s intention immediately. Slowly, firmly, Sam brings the gun back up, lines it with his heart again, and John’s blood goes cold. In Sam’s eyes, John sees a veil of sadness, anger, and something else he’s too emotionally illiterate to understand.

Despair paints John’s own face then, mouth agape, eyebrows raised and eyes big, scared. The tears he was holding back break, roll down his cheeks and disappear into his days-old scruffy beard. His chin quivers like a child's, and he shakes his head in disbelief. His thoughts devolve into no no no no no no no no no no Sammy no!

“Do it. ”

I can’t.

Sam’s face twists into a snarl, and he demands again, louder, harsher, “Do it!”.

I can’t. I never could.

Sam disengages the safety, brings John’s index finger into the trigger with ease. John’s hands have gone slack, and if he had the mental bandwidth to think of anything, he would be surprised that he’s still standing.

“This is what you do, isn’t it, John? Kill monsters? One shot, that’s all it takes, one squeeze of your finger and this will all be over. You’ll have done your job.”

A long moment passes, and Sam sighs. He seems disappointed somehow. He removes John’s hands from the gun and John lets them fall to his sides. He hasn’t blinked once since Sam held up the gun, but tears continue to trail down his cheeks. Sam takes John’s gun with him as he steps away, and John does nothing.

When he’s some meters away from his father, Sam turns and says, cutting like a blade, “Coward.”

I am.

Sam keeps walking away and John’s legs finally give. He doesn’t register the cold mud seeping into his jeans where he fell to his knees, or on the tips of his fingers, low because his shoulders are slumped and his body is curling into itself. His gaze is fixed on Sam’s back, and when his boy disappears among the foliage, he hiccups, and then starts to sob.

#supernatural #john winchester #dean winchester #sam winchester #fanfic #fic #mine #dean isn't in this part but he will be in the future

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i-can-even-burn-salad · 10 months

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Happy STS!

So I'm reading the second half of the Undeserved ebook, and I noticed it jumps forward in time to when Damien and Merridy are already together, which confused me a bit until I realized that the part skipped over is Glass Shards, which is a whole separate book (and which I understand you actually wrote first!)

So my question is with stories that jump around in time, how do you decide what to include where, especially when making ebooks?

Hello :D

Glass Shards I wrote in 2016, way before I knew about, or would have been brave enough to call it whump. I was just a frustrated lil baby ace, whose best plan to get two chars to talk to each other was obviously to cut someone's arm off.

When I started writing Undeserved for a monthly prompt challenge, I had no idea it would become this... big. I just looked at the prompts, found they matched what I had of Damien's backstory so far, and wanted to give it a try. And then I couldn't stop! Almost all chapters of Undeserved/Fancy Boots have been written for some kind of prompt challenge, from monthly ones to bthb.

It's not usually how I'd write a book. There's too many povs, with some being super rare (Valadan). There's chapters written twice, in different povs. There's all this unnecessary torture 😆 But eh, I decided to wrap it all up without removing anything. Like, now it existed, and someone might like it, right?

As ebook only, I would probably have kept it separate; Undeserved and "Fancy Boots" have both around 45k words, which is a nice novella length, and I do consider them the prequel and sequel to GS. But I also wanted to print them, and that means cover, back and front, fonts, blurb, chapter headers. And - no. Didn't wanna do that twice, so I put them together, and I couldn't be bothered to do the ebook differently, especially since I also offer a PDF.

Quite honestly, putting them up like that for free (it's not free for me! :) surprisingly internet things cost money!) is thankless already. In making it convenient to read, I do not have a platform to get likes, comments or even a fucking view counter, so all I can do is make it for myself.

For me it made the most sense, due to recurring characters, style and the red line of the rebels flashbacks, so I did what I wanted. Same reason I put the sunrise interlude in - because I wanted to :p Were this a published book, I'd mark it more clearly inside the book as prequel and sequel to another, but pretty much the only place to even find them is my blog.

Because it was already written (though in German), the Glass Shards outline was decided from the moment I started putting it up in English. Over the year of writing it, I did a bunch of prompt fills and stuff for additional short pieces, most of which sadly won't make it in. Again, there isn't much to decide there, they were never part of the outline, and while i might be stubborn enough to replace one of the unspecified nightmares with Heartless, I'm quite happy with the pacing of GS.

In that scope, it's unlikely it will ever happen again. Thorns and Jasmine and Twisted Thorns have some overlap, but I mostly consider the Tumblr stuff self-written fanfic 🤣 I would need a hell of a downtime to even think about putting it in epub format.

Everything else currently written or planned is self-sufficient. There's always a chance I'll write a bonus chapter or two that will remain Tumblr-only, but I am quite done with challenges for now.

#salad-ask #clairelsonao3 #sts ask

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quietbluejay · 8 days

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Plague Wars 1

I think Haley got bitten a bit too hard by worldbuilder's disease haha (note from future bluejay: past bluejay provided zero context about what this was referring to)

ku'gath: don't talk to me or my son again this is incredibly cute AND THEN HE EATS THE NURGLING RIP

So, Mortarion can belt out covers of The National, got it

im vibing im thriving

my love for the nurglites and how they feel like they should be starring in a 1980s weird children's animated movie cannot be adequately described either that or live action but handled by jim henson ku'gath is basically eeyore but covered in pus

this is not a drill we have speaking parts for women!

also i think i've mentioned it before possibly, but the Nurglites also continue to give "twisted reflection of Christianity" so it's fun paralleling them against the imperials "i will give you eternal life"

Like look at this, the phrasing here

oh, Nurglites also like infecting tech you know what i bet Apple is run by Nurglites especially whoever handles the app store connect website

Plague Marines: Nice one, boss oh yikes okay we're getting into some of my personal nightmare fuel

Back to the Imperium and we have female character POV this is not a drill! She's fun

also lmao Yassili: ITS FUNNY YOU BRING UP LORGAR BECAUSE she brought Guilliman the oldest extant version of Lorgar's writings

in the grim darkness of the future, there is corporal based punishment in schools when the teacher loses her temper

This is his dad, btw, not the teacher "in the short minutes when they were both home and not asleep"

and of course the moment they relax things a bit, people have enough energy to rebel and chaos is ready and willing to lend a hand if the space marines acting as police don't kill everyone

ok you know what as these things go, using his old teacher (who he had a crush on)'s skull as his computer is far from the worst thing that could have happened.

anyways turns out he's dreaming his memories! and then he gets a visit from the Emperor or some gold spirit innnteresting oh boy! time for more space marines: this one has ptsd version mathieu: hello how are you sicarius: having a full blown flashback about the time all my brothers died and i couldn't save them, can i help you?

there's some good lines in here

i…can't believe it mathieu: excuse me do you have a minute to talk about our lord and saviour the emperor i mean there's no way for him to know what's up with sicarius or how being like "hey there's good stuff in the warp too" to the guy whose comrades all died from the gellar fields being breached is staggeringly insensitive oh, he does know

you'd think a guy who has worked with the poor and downtrodden his entire career, not to mention being a slave on a Khornate ship for a bit and acting as a secret priest there, would be a lot better at this kind of thing. Maybe he's just high on emperor juice from his dream?

augh!!!! McNeill flashbacks!!!! thankfully, the prose did NOT rhapsodize about his muscles anyways Justinian who is back decides it's a suns out guns out day and goes shirtless

i don't know where this plot is going tbh and i'm worried

#warhammer 40k #bluejay reads warhammer

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cangrellesteponme · 2 years

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13, 14, and 19 for the writing asks!

What feedback did you receive for your writing that stuck with you?

This is going to sound very stupid, but what haunts me is the importance of making your work readable.

How well or shittily you write doesn't matter if your work is an ugly wall of text that no one will read. I was taught about that in detail when I was around 11 (harsh teachers...), and then I was told how to do it a bit better when I was 13. As you know, I'm 20, so... yeah never forgetting that.

But yeah, learn from me (and my French teachers) and fix your format. Prescriptivism is inherently wrong and all but if you want to listen, or at least know the rules before you break them, it's easy.

A new idea is a new paragraph. Dialogue is a new paragraph. Use the right quotation marks for your language. Use the right dialogue format too. Free Indirect Speech or Thought is a new paragraph unless it actually fits into the idea you're developing (and italicise that shit, for the love of god, unless you're intentionally making it unclear). Use your tenses correctly (English literally has two. Just pick one and stick to it, or if you want to switch it up, do so only if it actually adds to your storytelling).

This is like, some basic Writing Format 101, and I have a lot more things to say (especially as someone who has corrected, proofread, and reviewed a fuckton of writing from their peers) but that would take hours.

What is something that you feel weird/uncomfortable writing about?

Plenty of things, actually.

We all know that I only write sex scenes if I'm paid to do it, so there's that. I may fit the "all aces write good smut" cliché but I am not willing, okay.

But also writing very emotional characters is out of my comfort zone. For Open The Door, I wrote from Virgil's (the literal embodiment of anxiety) POV and through the whole thing I was like "what does severe anxiety even feel like... i think i'm actually writing sensory overload there let me fix that... oh no that's PTSD... eh, that works" because I'm simply not a very anxious person. And I struggle with big emotions in general for the same reason - I'm just a very repressed rational bitch.

I also have a hard time writing empathy, comfort, and all those complex... social things. I'm not talking in terms of skill, or ability - I mean that I'm honestly just not having a great time with those things because it takes so much effort (but I balance it out with more fun stuff! like heartbreaking angst <3).

Show us the line you want readers to remember from your story.

I'll answer this for Staring Contest, obviously.

It has to be one of those two:

"Baldroy does not like many things about many people, but today he decides that he particularly hates the way Sebastian Michaelis looks at their young master."

"There’s something fragile and worn, a breath away from breaking, bubbling under the surface but ready to cool down in a second."

Obviously, Staring Contest has no dialogue (except one line from Ciel, because I simply couldn't be bothered to change it) and a very honest focaliser, which kind of restricted my ability to hide the truth in a bunch of lies so I had to work a lot with omissions.

With the first line, I think what I'm implying is obvious (even the second, more disturbing layer of it also is. i mean we've all read the manga. canon seb is a creep), and I want the reader to keep that in mind, for reasons similar to the second line. For the second one, I wanted it to be a sweet, memorable line with just a hint of carefully sprinkled pain.

For both of those, what you should remember is that appearances or suddenly developed feelings of paternal affection don't matter - this is still a dangerous demon whose sole intent is to get that dinner. The affection is fragile not only because it's new, but also because it can and will be crushed if needed. Both of those line highlight, in different ways, how fucked up this all is. But yeah it's all hidden in the fluffy dadbastian vibes.

#i always write long ass answers i'm so sorry lmao #takes me ages to get to the damn point #but yeah i hope those answers are satisfying :)#ota's ask answers

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lordofhunger47 · 3 years

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Gravity Falls FanFic Ideas:Surviver's Guilt

I have a lot of ideas for Gravity Falls but I'm not a good writer so I thought I'd put them here for others to write(You don't have to follow to the letter)

Disclaimer:I own and regret nothing

Often a lot people complain that Mabel shown no remorse for weirdmaggedon or how she acted in the bubble(replacing Dipper,being aware of whats happening outside her bubble but not caring,threatening to sent Dipper back to the dangers of the weirdmaggedon...) so I thought myself why not give her the Marcy trearment?(excluding the part she got impaled and possesed by an eldritch being).

Think about it,both couldn't accept reality,afraid of loneliness and change so much that they created a forced reality and manipulated their friends and family except one got away with it and the other did not.

After reaching piedmont we see in her POV,in which we see her having a smile depression(a form of depression in which you pretend to be all cheery when you aren't) trying to pretend that she is fine but in reality she is not,seeing people around her changing will make her afraid such as seeing her friends in piedmont having a "teenage phase"(usually involves wearing much revealing cloths,gossips..),even her girls and friends in Gravity Falls(such as Wendy taking more intiation and becoming more responsible) and Dipper becoming more confident,more social and standing on himself(not that she thinks its "bad" no it is rather than the change itself that disrubs her as the brother she has now is radically different from the brother she had) but thats not the worse.

Sometimes she has nightmares of Bill taunting her for being selfish such as one time in which Mabel is back at the mabelland in which dippy fresh with Bill's eyes say "WHATS THE MATTER SHOTTING STAR?DON'T LIKE YOUR NEW BROTHER?!" and then she tries to say Bill is no brother of hers only for for Bill to say "BURNING YOUR OWN DIMENSION BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LIKE YOUR REALITY,BEEN THERE DONE THAT *CACKLING* DON'T YO GET IT?THIS AIN'T YOUR INNER DEMONS,THIS IS YOU!LIKE ALL SHOTTING STARS YOU BURNED AND CRASH AS METEOR BECAUSE YOU FOUND THE NEW WORLD MUCH MORE APPEALING THAN MUNDANE OF THE ONE YOU WERE FLOATING JUST LIKE ME! WHOSE YOUR BRO NOW SIS?!" but the worst for her is seeing Dipper also having nightmares except is not just involve Bill but also Dipper having nightmares of being replaced,Dipper obviously never talk about that knowing that it would make Mabel feel bad;however,Mabel has her suspicions confirmed when some jock in the school decide to give the nickname "Dippy fresh" for Dipper which sent Dipper in an instance of rage so much that he gave a gaze with such a cold fury that the jock decide to ran,fortunately that didn't escaleted into a full fight as seeing the jock fleeing was enough for Dipper to not get into a fight,after that she and him talks things out and even say she would willing to let Dipper choose what ever major he wants even if that ends up with her and Dipper to get seprated,but Dipper assures her that just because he and Mabel may choose diffrent future lives it would not mean they would be seprated,but this isn't the end,no it is only the beginning because that was not the inky thing Dipper has hide from Mabel and its not just him.

Some time later,Mabel is suck into the Mabel dimension in which alternate Mabels get stuck into by an unknown force,unlike her last visit however there are no alternate Mabels but herself,the entire dimension was a wasteland with no sign of life so she walks and walks until she sees another Mabel.at first she is glad but what she sees distubs her to the core,the alternate Mabel had a dishevelled not just in hair but clothes,with a queen's hat made out of paper,a staff with a shotting star bubble at the top except the bubble is long broken and worst of all a deranged looking face with eyes filled with madness,kind like this.The alternate Mabel reveals she was the reason why Mabels all around the multiverse got stuck here but until she showed up and ruined her plan by giving alternate Mabels a way to get to their home dimension,Mabel tries to fight her but then she radiates a pink energy and bends everything around her so Mabel tries to ran but alternate Mabel makes her unconcious.when Mabel wakes up and finds herself chained in a table in mabelland except the mabelland was in its nightmarish form,when she looks around she sees the alternate Mabel on the other side of the table and keep talking as if she was talking to Dipper but no one was there.Mabel tries to get out but alternate Mabel says its no use and reveals the entire reason why she made a multiversal traps for Mabels,as she says in a evil morty way that Mabels are cancers and she was trapping them for the good of their dimensions,Mabel calls her Anti-Mabel thinking she is her but instead the Alternate Mabels laughs and says she ain't her,Anti-Mabel is not Anti as she examplifies her point about Mabels but she is her in an universe where she didn't got away with consequences,Mabel ask to elaborate so she does,alternate Mabel reveals she is the Mabel of an universe in which she wasn't convinced by Dipper and left him outside to Mabel's horror,Mabel tries to debunk that saying that its impossible but the alternate Mabel says with a maniac laugh "not in a multiverse of infinite possibilities!besides!you really thought your dimension is the only one Bill invaded?that dorito fooled around countless dimensions including different versions of earth,you ain't special dear!" and then proceed to show her visions,in which she see herself back in Mabeland except she wasn't convinced by Dipper so she kicked him out of mabelland,that act caused Wendy and Soos to get out of the illusion and they tried to convinced her to think otherwise but she refused so they had no choice but to leave her for Dipper,Time passes and The Mabel gets tired,realize how soulless the mabeland is and finally see Dipper's point,so she tries to get out and surprisingly the bubble didn't resist but she will learn why,when she gets out she sees an empty void of darkness which confuses her yet she sees a yellow dot who reveald to be Bill,she asks him where did he brought her,Bill in mocking innocnce say he didn't move her,she with slow realization says what did he done,Bill says "Nothing!me and Pals were just having a party that never ends!except the party DID got ended when the dimension couldn't take the heat after a few millenia!",Mabel says thats ridiculous she was only in mabelland for a few days,Bills reveals its actually a few millenia she simply was too occupied and process with riddles about whats time anyway?time is dead,the realization hit Mabel hard and silenced her for a few moments,then Bill offers to have her as a part of his gang only for Mabel to suddenly go on a fit and tries to attack Bill but Bill simply shrug it off with his OP powers and before leaving says "Never say I didn't offer ya,See ya on the other side!",Mabel goes on a breakdown as she release a pink energy out of her with a cry and everything in mabelland melts away.

Mabel returns to reality,shaken by what she saw,next alternate Mabel continue her monoluge about Mabels as she show her three holograms,in one Mabel sees diffrent universe in which Mabels either become messed up or dragged Dipper until either it ends in a heart break or the Dippers and Mabels growing old friendless,loveless with no friends or family,unfullfilled with life and a resenting Dipper while on the other holpgram she sees universes in which Mabels never born or got seprated or died for any reason,in all Dipper become an accomplished man,happy and content and surrounded with friends and family and at the last hologram it is reveald to her that people actually died during the weirdmaggedon and Dipper,Stan and Ford know Mabel was the one who gave the snowglobe to Bill but decided to never mention all of that fearing what the knowledge will do to her.

Seeing all of those was too much for Mabel,begging the alternate Mabel to stop showing her as she fell to dispair and cries.until,a realization hits her,alternate Mabel is wrong and she says so,alternate Mabel dumbfounded not expecting Mabel to say that after seeing all of these so in outrage demands explaination out of her,Mabel says if there is a multiverse of infinite possibilities as she says then shouldn't there also be infinite versions of her whose life didn't ended with tragedy?alternate Mabel denials that saying she already check and there isn't only for Mabel to replies that she only saw what she wanted or think would see,alternate Mabel denys all of that only for the holograms to then show Mabels and Dippers who lived happy,contented,accomplished in life and surrounded with friends and families.alternate Mabel Freezes for what it felt like an eternity for Mabel,then she laughs in a mixed of madness and sobs,subsequently she says Mabel is right,containing Mabels is not enough so she is going to kill them all starting with her!however before she blast Mabel suddenly everything shakes,during that alternate mabel got distracted so Mabel runs while seeing everything being shaken as if the whole dimension is experiencing an earthquske,suddnly alternate Mabel shows up while flying and using telekenisis to grab stones to shot at Mabel as she reveals that the entire dimension is actually mabelland but using Mabelland as a dimensional beacon to attract Mabels all around the multiverse took a lot of energy so she was draining energy out of versions of Mabels's psychics as their raw imagination would maintain this dimension but since Mabel helped other Mabels to get out everything is falling apart,during that Mabel got injuried so she hides while alternate Mabel searching for her until she finds her but before she could do anything a blast sent her away which reveals to be Ford's blaster who with Stan and Dipper were near a portal,Mabel runs to them yet alternate Mabel returns while glowing with pink energy,she attacks and then grabs Mabel threating to kill her if Ford doesn't put his weapon down so as the others,Ford and others puts their blasters away,before alternate Mabel could do anything her staff then taken by Mabel and broken,putting the final nail to this dimension.alternate Mabel powerless just stared at the shooting star symbole on her broken staff,Mabel tries to convince her to run with her but alternate Mabel stays and instead tell her one day she has to grow up or everyone will remember her as a tragic joke.

Mabel with Others run to the portal and return to their dimension,what happens next is a heart to heart moment between her,Dipper,Stan and Ford as they comfort Mabel and tell her she is forgiven.

#gravity falls #post weirdmaggedon #trauma #ptsd #mabel pines #marcy woo #gravity falls fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic writing #writting #multiverse #dimension travel #fanfic ideas

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foxymoxynoona · 3 years

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Noooooooo as soon as I read Party Party No I I knew what was coming.

I just need to voice two questions that will most likely be answered in the next chapter... But still.

I'm trying to understand who was at fault here. Clearly both weren't acting perfect but I struggle to see what started it all. After thinking for some time it seems that JK was not really comfy with his gf wearing revealing clothes. With Seojoon near her and then with Taehyung. But I guess it's all fueled by insecurity and inexperience (and lack of proper trust bc they never really communicate about their relationship) Which then led him to allow that b to be all over him (and maybe not knowing how to reject properly bc of Idol training?). I mean obv Sasha did aggravate him too but to me it seems to be only towards the end (maybe it's biased bc I'm reading everything from her POV).

But I guess to JK the last straw was seeing her vibing well with Tae. Wasn't one of his biggest insecurities her liking one of his hyungs better? Because he doesn't feel enough or cool enough for her?

Next question: is him reacting "badly" to Sashas past really bc of what Sasha is thinking? He couldn't really formulate any thought about it before Sasha jumped the gun. To me it seems more like he is upset that there are so many things he doesn't know about her even after 6 months. I mean I'd be hurt too if I get to know the sexual details of my partner on a party at the same time as my band mates who just met my partner a few times. Especially details that my partner knows I could be insecure about (I guess his sexual inexperience will always be one of his insecurities)

Hello! <3 Yes, there will definitely be close examination of this embarrassingly drunk fight, of course. But I think you are VERY astute to have noted whose POV the different sections are. I write in close third person, which means their own thoughts and opinions and assumptions influence a lot of the "feeling" of each section. And we didn't even see every detail of the party!

I love that you ask "who was at fault here" and I can't wait to hear what you ultimately decide!

The last thing I would just remind is that: there was a LOT of alcohol involved in this chapter. Like a lot. JK has low body weight and is dieting and working hard. Sasha is small and not counting drinks. So keep that in mind too as you're reading and trying to understand how they could possibly do things or draw conclusions like that did.

Oh. And his sexual inexperience won't always be one of his insecurities. 😎

#littlebean #mywriting #myao3 #anonymous

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thatsweetsexypsychotroyotto · 5 years

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I'm Not a Bad Person- Chapter 5

SUMMARY: Troy Otto does have feelings you know. He's in the process of figuring them out; especially when it comes to his childhood friend, Jaymie. Whatever they are, they're rooted deep; and they're growing.

WARNINGS: Language

WORD COUNT: Fuck if I know.

PAIRING: Troy Otto x OFC

AUTHOR'S NOTE: My plan is to follow along with the events of season 3, but with my OFC involved. I'll veer off plenty of times and probably switch shit up completely. Not sure yet. We'll be exploring different characters' perspectives throughout the series. I'm not great at this writing thing but I try my best. Hope you like it enough. All characters except my OFC don't belong to me.

*******

Chapter 5

(Jaymie's POV)

After the dramatic event of Nick having Troy at gun point, I didn't want to leave Troy's side. I mean, we're normally together a lot anyway, but now I have this innate need to be there to watch his back. I couldn't handle it if anything bad happened to him.

I've been sleeping on the Ottos' couch; even though Troy and Jake both offered to give their beds up for me- such gentlemen. Neither the boys nor Jeremiah seemed to mind my additional presence one bit- especially Troy. In fact, last night he came back downstairs after his dad and Jake went to bed. He was so damn cute in his black basketball-type night shorts and his High On Fire t-shirt. I was already melting.

"Can I take this bandage off my eye yet?"

"What, you don't wanna play Pirates of the Caribbean anymore?"

"Smartass."

I gave a half-suppressed laugh. "So is that what you came down here for?"

He looked at the floor with a smile and shook his head. "No, no I didn't." Then he bit his lip just a little as he looked back up at me. "Wanna watch a movie?"

After my stomach flipped like a pancake due to him bringing extra attention to his lips, I perked up like a puppy whose owner had just come home. "Yeah! That'd be great!" It'd be beyond great actually. "And we'll end your pirate adventure so you can see it better."

Troy let me choose what movie we'd watch. I'm certain he regretted that, because he groaned when I picked "Warm Bodies."

"That's such a chick flick, Jayms."

"Did you really just use the term 'chick flick'?" His eyebrows got sarcastic with me. "What? It's appropriate for the current state of the world. Plus there's plenty of shooting." Now he blinked sarcastically. "Hey. You let me pick. You can't take that back."

His smile was brilliant when he laughed. "Put it in, dork."

I put the disc in the player. "You know you just called me a whale's penis, right?"

"Guess you're a giant dick then."

We busted up laughing over that one.

During the previews I took his patch off; although he totally could've done that himself.

"How's it look?"

"Pretty gnarly actually," and kinda sexy in a fucked up way. The entire brief period I was checking out his eye, I kept glancing down at his lips. That was a mistake; all I could think of now was kissing him.

So, we sat on the couch together, each of us on our own respective cushions, as we watched one of my favorite movies. The scene where R and Julie were running from the bonies had just been on. They were cornered on a balcony. Then R enveloped Julie in his arms and fell backwards into the pool with her. His head hits the bottom and he's thought to be dead. He kept her safe, just as he had been promising from the beginning.

I started tearing up (that scene gets me every time). I felt Troy staring at me. I met his gaze with a crooked smile to find that he sported one too. We both laughed at me for getting emotional over a film that I've seen more than ten times already.

Troy laid his head against the back of the couch, and his mouth formed the most beautiful smile; and then, then he reached out and wrapped his arms around my body, pulling me over to his self and settling me in at his side. My heart skipped like seven beats.

He kept an arm around my shoulders and hypnotized me with his pretty blue eyes. "You know, I haven't thanked you yet."

"What are you talking about?"

"You were willing to take a bullet for me."

Because I love you. Because I don't want to live without you. Because I can't live without you... "Keep you safe." I quoted R with a soft voice.

The softness reflected in his smile. "Thank you."

"You don't need-"

"But don't you ever fucking do something like that again, Jaymie." Whoa. I wasn't sure how to respond to that. I blinked at him in confusion. His expression relaxed and he turned his face back towards the television. After a short moment he gave me a half smile and then pulled me even closer.

Was this all a dream? Does he have any idea what all this means to me? Is he just being appreciative and comforting, or does he feel the same as I do? He usually is pretty affectionate anyway. This is new though. Either way, I can't afford to make assumptions. I'm not willing to lose his friendship over my stupid fucking emotions; but he definitely seems different. Why am I so scared to lose him? Would Troy really cut off practically a life-long friendship and stop spending time with me if I misinterpreted his actions? Probably not, but then maybe he wouldn't do it anymore.

I decided to keep my mouth shut and just basked in the glory of his extra affections. I did manage to get ballsy enough to rest my head on his shoulder. I know it's a simple gesture, but it took a lot of courage for me to do it. I'm glad I did, because it was then that he rested his cheek on the top of my head. I could've died a happy woman in that moment.

*******

*Fun fact: High On Fire is the band playing in the truck in episode 5 when Troy and Madison are on their way to the outpost with the group of militia men. (I didn't know it either.) I was going to keep it simple with Metallica or Pantera, but I didn't know if they'd be too tame for Troy's liking.

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