#I can't fucking believe myself

[the-spider-in-your-livingroom]

Fuck I did it again Fuck I did it again Fuck I did it again Fuck I did it again fuck i did it again fuck i did it again fuck i did it again fuck i did it again fuck i did it again fuck i did it again fuck i did it again fuck

#text post #why can't I just do something right? #I can't fucking believe myself #I just make things so much fucking worse #I just need to stop I only harm those I love #I don't fucking learn #I just fuck it all up over and over and over #and i leave everyone fucked up more than when I started #I need to stop trying I need to stop being so fucking selfish #everything isn't fucking about me #No one fucking deserves the stupid shit I do #I wish I was better i try and i fail over and over and over #I really wish i was a different person who was better #I wish I did things that mattered #I wish I wasn't such a fucking disappointment for once in my god damn life #I wish I was a better person #I wish I was a fucking better friend #I think I get better #I get so much fucking worse #The worst part is i never realise what ive done until too fucking late #I knew it was too good to be true #really wish i didn't fucking exist #then everyone would be better off because they wouldn't have to deal with my bull shit #everyone would be so much fucking better off #i've done enough already #I wish I was gone #vent #vent post

[everysongineverykey]

dhmis is great because imagine a series centered around three roommates living in a small incredibly isolated house in a story run by a strange omnipotent woman with unclear motivations who amuses herself by tormenting the roommates over and over again in various awful ways by dangling something new and exciting in front of their faces and then making it backfire horribly thus traumatizing them all and often maiming and killing them and they can't escape because they're nothing but puppets in her little show and they're chained to a narrative that will not let them go and one roommate is a naive kid with a sadistic father who traumatizes him horribly when he isn't neglecting him and also eats people and another roommate is almost aware of his situation but will never be able to save himself or his friends and is constantly rejected by his own kind and only wants to leave the tiny house but nothing, no one, will play along and the third roommate is caught in the middle, not a naive child but not quite meta aware, and thus is doomed to fall victim to the same traps over and over and also they're literally the only three people in their entire world besides the evil things that keep intruding in their home and terrorizing them and they can't call for help. ok and now imagine they look like this

#don't hug me i'm scared #dhmis #i can't believe we have to write pages and pages of serious meta about these things. i can't believe myself #when i hear myself saying shit like 'i love the themes of abandonment issues #and the desperate need to belong to some sort of family woven into the characters of red guy and yellow guy' #red guy and yellow guy. and duck. for fuck's sake. they don't even have goddamn names💙

[bluespiritshonour]

here's 18-19 year old aang sketches. been hearing aang is ugly discourse—no he ain't. he was just 12.

#i really wanted to take part in zukaang bingo but the urge to art struck me a little later #i still might make something else later #enough art for now #i'd try to participate in maiko week but i'm not sure #it's smack in the middle of end semester exams #ink blot #avatar fanart #avatar the last airbender #atla #artists on tumblr #fanart #avatar aang #why did i never use the pencil brush before?!?! i seriously have a personality flaw where i just don't explore stuff. #can you believe i've been using the same fucking brush for lineart ever since i started digital art? #anyways! i don't know how the pencil brush would feel like if i go for colours but this is impeccable. #I have more control over stuff and i love the result #so #i have promised myself i'd be fucking off this hellsite because i have a huge backlog of work that needs to be done #and i'm presently suffering from “can't help but art”. so #yeah. y'all would probably see me around maiko week. byeee! #if i deprive myself of drawing for too long it bursts out of me like this where i do nothing but draw #not healthy at all

[jaybybyby]

I'M GOING TO LOSE MY FUCKING MIND

#my posts #adventure time #fionna and cake #simon petrikov #fionna and cake spoilers #FIRST SS IS FROM S4E25 AND SECOND IS FROM FIONNA AND CAKE EPISODE 8 #KILLING MYSELF #BETTY IS THE GHOST THAT HAUNTS THE NARRATIVE BTW. IF YOU EVEN CARE. #betty grof #<- i can't fucking BELIEVE i i forgot to add her tag what is wrong with me

[dimension-20-every-introduction]

Everyone Introduced in Dimension 20′s Mentopolis episode 1

#dimension 20 spoilers #dimension 20 #d20 introductions #mentopolis #mentopolis spoilers #d20 mentopolis #WOW what a bang to start off the season- i can't believe it took me this long to get through the first episode #god the noir theme and atmosphere of this setting is SO choice. and these characters fucking RULE #i love love love all the pun names they're so fun #and as a men enjoyer myself i am looking at the fix like.... Sir 😳 #god everyone is so stylish and it FUCKS #also very fun to see danielle radford and mike trapp back in the dome #and NICE that they got freddie wong and hank green on the season too?? #i'm not familiar with alex myself but i hope they enjoy being on d20!! they're very very fun as conrad! #and our queen of course siobhan <3 #i say this for so many seasons but god this season cast is so stacked

[munadrawson]

[Inspired post] Click and Open image for HQ! [Ko-fi] | [Twitter] | [Instagram]

💙👉👈💛

#hope y'all get the joke. girl has layers #fryver #shivrye #shiver hohojiro #frye onaga #splatoon 3 #Splatoon #frye #shiver #shiver x frye #frye x shiver #I forced myself to stop working on this and move on #sigh... got carried away with experimenting new potential comic layout and colors #Can't believe a queer shark spends an entire day pointing at their crush and their queer crush fucking crumbles on stage live #your honor I'm jealous of their love! *cries in agony*

[aeb-art]

scribbled clip, fool, and y/n from gitm by @venomous-qwille o7

#2024 #i just wanted to fuck around and fuck around i have lmao #gitm clip.exe #gitm fool #fool eclipse #gitm y/n #gitm cricket #gitm #ghost in the machine #fnaf eclipse #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #poor sweet(tooth/ling) 😔 your boys are workin on it #also i think clip may have killed my blue highlighter- man i thought we were besties i can't believe you've done this #tangently related: i still can't get myself to draw sol.............................. how am i supposed to kiss him if i don't draw it? orz

[lampfacedstudios]

more alien revamp progress trying to make the anatomy more believable and less.. whatever the hell I was doing before

also toying around with what body parts might have been before they became what they are currently (the "ancestor" in the upper right is very heavily mantid-based) and then working off of that. still a ways to go, but it's more fleshed out now.

sometimes it's moments like this that make me look back and go 'hm, maybe I have improved artistically over time' and feel less stagnant

#art #alien #alien oc #monster #creature #doodle #wip #I follow so many great specbio artists that have awesome aliens and I'm over here fucking around in my trashy sandbox #yeah I'm being a bit unrealistic with some parts but I want it to be somewhat believable #I can't get myself to part with the secondary head being like that for one #oh well this is just a for fun thing anyways #tauric

[peppermoons]

Nobuhiko Okamoto really out there promoting his BL manga that is basically a bkdk au and you people here are just... NOT TALKING ABOUT IT?????

#bakudeku #bkdk #he really said: FINE if no one else is gonna do it i guess i'll have to do it myself #'this is a work of pure love 🥹' #one of the characters is a crybaby called uzuki and he was bullied as a kid and the other one is blond and he's uzuki's hero #and they're childhood friends whose relationship got strained over the years but now they're in high school together and they get kidnapped #and forced into some...survival game(?) where they have to fuck or die and it's called 'boku no spirited away' #like????? SIR????? EXPLAIN YOURSELF?!?!?!? #can't believe no one here is talking about it and i had to find out when i randomly saw it mentioned by someone from a different fandom #you're all on twitter and get these interesting news every day yet you choose to leave us all here in the dark. NOT FAIR

[mispatchedgreens]

celestial bodies, celestial boys. this sandwich consists of ionised metal, nuclear fusions and keeping balance through mutual gravity

#metalsandwich #harringroveson #mungrove #harringrove #billy hargrove #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #my art #terrified to tag the other individual pairing so i won't #can't believe i made myself draw those fucking rings again like #girl get a grip already #that pig. i never wanna see that pig ring again

[buttercupshands]

wait a minute

stop.

stop it.

#bnha #bnha manga spoilers #mha spoilers #mha 423 #I didn't hate this chapter before that #but now I am #because this is just cruel level of REMEMBER THIS????? #yes. I do remember this. I rewatched and reread this arc VERY recently #so... he killed Kurogiri with a punch like the one he did in USJ and again to save Izuku #I don't care honestly. #I reread this chapter and I cried again bc I REALLY refused to believe that Kurogiri died then #but he did with a death words to Shirakumo's friends and recall of old chapters #even if people want Tenko alive I doubt that Kurogiri will ever materialize again #and I'm deadly serious when I say that this is the worst part of this chapter #I worried for Kurogiri's existence ever since it was revealed that Shirakumo is in there #but that literally took FIVE YEARS TO APPEAR AGAIN HAVING AN IMPORTANT ROLE #and he left while crumbling just like Tomura's body before Katsuki hit him #and the last thing he thought about was about protecting Tomura even though he was partly Shirakumo's dead corpse appearing more and more #even Mic now understood that it's really is him in a way ending his arc from back in Tartarus with Aizawa #and you know what's worse??? TOMURA KNOWS THIS #the way he used “...........” with Kurogiri's name while the page literally showed his black smoke disappearing was heartbreaking before #it's worse now #like... okay he's dying too and he doesn't even know if spinner is ALIVE or not and he saw Kurogiri disappear #all while protecting him from harm one last time #AND WE STILL HAVE NO FUCKING FLASHBACKS OF HIS TIME WITH TOMURA OUTSIDE OF WHAT WE HAD IN MANGA #I'm getting more and more furious by the minute HAHA #I need to find that one sketch I did way back in 2019 with them after spoilers of Kurogiri in Tartarus #I NEED SOMETHING LIKE THAT NOW AND I CAN'T DRAW #I want to just curl up and cry myself to sleep like a 13 y.o that found out the bird that she looked after died while she was sleeping #kurogiri

[blood-inthefields]

In honor of those Yennaia gems season 3 got us...

A little recap of the fanfictions I wrote for the pairing, in case you’re new to the fandom and looking for some light, totally normal reading.

___

♠ All we are (is dust in the wind) ¬ It takes four days for Tissaia to find Yennefer after the battle of Sodden.

♠ Pynk (is where it all starts) ¬ In which hot-shot lawyer Tissaia de Vries unknowingly walks into a strip-club and finds herself hypnotized by one of the dancers there. Not how she’d planned her evening to go.

♠ Get naked (i got a plan) ¬ The phone rang, drawing her attention. With a sigh, she picked it up. “Phil, is that you?” Distorted by the line, a muffled voice answered her. “Johnny got clipped.” Tissaia’s hand balled into a fist. “You know what to do,” she replied curtly. The line went dead. She hung up, ran a hand through her hair. A bath would do her good. And then she would go find Yennefer. 

1920s AU.

♠ I’m your sinner (and your whore) ft. JZXR7 ¬ Due to circumstances entirely beyond Tissaia’s control (Yennefer. Due to Yennefer), she’s found herself trapped in her bedroom with a human whirlwind during a minor pandemic.

She has decided, in all her collected wisdom as Rectoress, that the girl has ten minutes to stop talking before Tissaia takes drastic measures.

♠ Want you, yes i do (bet you never knew it) ¬ The first time that Yennefer considers throwing Tissaia on a bed is in Rinde.

♠ I’ll be loving you (til the end of the night) ¬ Tissaia comes home after a hard day at work to find that her girlfriend has a couple of surprises in store.

♠ The one where Tissaia is a freestyle dance teacher ¬ “It’s Tissaia,” Triss told her, concern evident in her voice.

“What’s with her?”

Now closer to the window, Yennefer leaned forwards and watched as her former mentor, way down below, was shaking her arms and upper body in very strange ways. Had the woman finally lost it?

♠ I will let you down (i will make you hurt) ¬ She feels the blade against her throat before she’s even done with her sentence. Tissaia remains calm, despite the cold metal piercing the skin ever so lightly. Something warm runs down her pale skin and she knows it’s blood. Still, her eyes never leave Yennefer’s.

“Why,” Yennefer begins, almost shouting, as she stalks forward until she’s all up in Tissaia’s face. “Why did you let them send me to Nilfgaard?”

♠ My immoral ft. thinkbucket ¬ What’s up preps, I’m Yennefer Fireball Darkness Purple Mist Vengerberg and I’m a teacher at Aretuza.

or, a parody of legendary fanfiction My Immortal.

♠ Didn’t wanna believe it (but now you are all I see) ¬ It’s on their third date that everything goes to shit. In hindsight Tissaia should have known crushing hard on the whirlwind that is Yennefer would mean her life would be turned upside down. However, she had never imagined it would land her in jail.

♠ And now the surface ripples ¬ She’s been scouring the Continent, desperate for a cure for her barrenness when word reaches her.

Tissaia de Vries is dead.

♠ Find my place (in the warmth of your embrace) ¬ A look at some entries of Tissaia's diaries about her ever-evolving relationship with Yennefer.

♠ Stay a while (and be mine) ¬  Post Sodden Hill, Yennefer and Tissaia are back at Aretuza. One night changes their relationship forever.

♠ After hours ¬ Could the torture be any worse? Yennefer wondered. It was bad enough to have to spend entire days with Tissaia stuck in a classroom together with noisy, dirty children but being around her after the day was over and the children and other teachers had left was pure torture.

♠ Wanna kiss you (til I lose my breath) ¬ The woman is not just a powerful sorceress, she’s an absolute witch and Yennefer tries to hide but it feels pointless. One look from Tissaia and she becomes an open book.

♠ I will reach for you (when you’re feeling low) ¬ Set in 2.03 after Yennefer shows up at Aretuza and gives Tissaia a gay heart attack.

They know, they all know what Yennefer means to her, how long she’s spent trying to find her.

#Yennaia #Yennefer of Vengerberg #Tissaia de Vries #The Witcher Netflix #I actually can't believe I wrote 16 FICS FOR THEM WTH #also only one of them shall remain incomplete which is a pretty good ratio if I do say so myself #2020 was a wild fucking year #also y'all gotta read My Immoral and the Freestyle Dance Teacher one those are whack #Fanfic #Mine

[trashlie]

ILY FP 258

I can't believe we're actually passed episode 250 lmao I Love Yoo is truly the never ending story (affectionate). I appreciate how much of the story we really get to dig into at this pace and while I know a lot of people have long-since dropped it, I imagine the rest of us (those reading this post because why else are you here?) also appreciate it. And that's what is even more refreshing about this episode - if refreshing is even a word we can use to describe it. Getting the extra scenes from other characters, a look at their lives and from these glimpses, what we can glean in the unsaid between the lines.

Can you believe I used to prey on Kousuke's downfall? There's so many posts of me talking about him from a different view, believing that the only way he could grow and develop and make the changes necessary to make him a better person was for him to crash and burn, to fail so significantly that he would be forced to pen his eyes to reality. But here we are, me, fervently swaddling him up like a baby and shoving him into my pocket because GOD he needs to be protected.

I don't even remember when it was, that my view on him began to shift, when I went from "he's interesting but awful" to "GOD THIS IS MY SON AND I WILL FIGHT EVERYONE YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME" but.... lol there's no going back!

That's enough rambling, let's jump in.

There is something so painfully devastating about every time ILY confirms to us something we have long-since known or suspected through nuance, foreshadowing, reading between the lines, etc: That Kousuke isn't Rand's biological son, that Shinae was at the formal for Gun Kim, that Kousuke has been manipulated his whole life. Nothing in this episode regarding Kousuke is actually new to us. We have known, and talked about, for months and months long before the confirmation reveal that Yui drugs Kousuke - that he has been manipulated by her his entire life, that she orchestrated his life to manipulate him into situations she could take advantage of. It's the way she spoke about Rand's affair around Kousuke, the way she commodified Rand's love so Kousuke became convinced he'd never earned his father's love, the way she spoke of their family vs others and convinced him from such a young age that everyone was out to get them, to destroy them, and that he couldn't let them get close, couldn't let them near - and how Nol was very much a target planted in his mind.

But it's the fact that he is speaking of this and acknowledging it! Until now, Kousuke has heavily lived in denial. Again, we know this. We talk a lot about the chasm between reality and the reality he believes in. We talk a lot about how Kousuke couldn't face reality, even though on some level he knew everything he believed and was told was not quite true not quite real, but that he was so afraid of the truth, he couldn't do it. Kousuke admitting that he's been driven by fear and envy explains everything about him, and why he could not accept the only unwavering unconditional love he was offered.

A few weeks ago I saw a video on instagram of this father talking about a conversation he had with his daughter, who was feeling a little uncomfortable with her friend group. A new girl started to play with her and her best friend and she said she wasn't exactly jealous, but that maybe it was that she was afraid that there wasn't enough love to go around. Her dad had to explain to her that love is not like a pizza - it's not finite, a limited amount that could be taken and hogged by someone else. But Kousuke never learned this. His father's love was commodified and he was made to fear this other kid who he mistakenly believed knew a version of his father he'd never been privy to. He never learned that love is finite, that Rand could have enough love for the both of them, and feared that Nol would hog it all - that he WAS hogging it all because whether or not it was good or bad, Nol received more attention that Kousuke did. And that speaks VOLUMES about how Kousuke sees Rand, what he thinks of their relationship. In his mind, he is still unworthy, that he's not noteworthy enough.

This part gets to me so badly. We, as omniscient readers, know that Rand has tried his best, but that Yui runs a spectacular interference with which he can't compete, largely because of the roles their family have placed them in - Rand the busy businessman, Yui the mommy homemaker. But no matter how hard he tries, it isn't good enough. Rand tries to reach Kousuke, but the manipulation and paranoia are so far gone that the times Rand does have the chance to convey his feelings, Kousuke can't even believe it, because he thinks he's not good enough to deserve that love, that he hasn't fully qualified for it yet. And despite that, Nol, who Kousuke feels hasn't done half of what he has to deserve Rand's love, gets the attention. It doesn't matter that it's negative attention, that Rand barks at Nol, that Nol feels Rand hates and regrets him, because ultimately, it's still more than Kousuke receives. And worse, to him, every time Rand is busy reprimanding Nol, he turns away from Kousuke to do it.

I want to make it clear that this is a deep trauma point of Kousuke's. He's never learned healthy love and the only person who gave him healthy love was someone he was set to fear and fight. Something I think about a lot is the flashback to Kousuke, in the bushes, watching Nessa and Nol's display of warm affection, before Yui appears literally looming before him. In that moment, he witnesses something he's been deprived of. "We're not like other families"'. He's told from a young age he shouldn't compare himself to those healthy families, to warm and affectionate relationships that he will not cultivate in this household. From such a young age it is normalized, that they aren't like others, that they are cold and distant. From a young age, he's made to stuff down his feelings, his tender wants and desires, in order to earn them. To be a good little boy who makes his parents proud. To make his father look his way.

There's also something about the way he says "I've been a good boy" that echoes Shinae learning she's been manipulated by Yui, devastated and angry and yelling about how she's been a good girl so why do these things keep happening to her, all she wanted to do was help her dad. Two people who, from a young age, felt they had to be so obedient, so good, to not be a burden, and despite following the rules, despite doing as they were told, despite trying to be whatever version of "good" they believed in, the world still beat them up and mistreated them. The world still punished them.

As Rin in our discord server pointed out, though, to some degree, Kousuke is very much a person who can - and does - act out, when he's emotionally high-strung. He's a volatile man, and it's largely to do with the fact that he's been drugged to placate him for so long. He never learned emotional regulation, he never learned how to deal with high-stress situations or to face conflict or to own up to things. This is something that some readers who hate Kousuke and expect him to act a certain way because of his age are missing. You don't just learn these things with age. You learn them with experience and Kousuke was deprived of the opportunity TO have those experiences. He never had to learn these behaviors, and now as an adult he cannot function when overwhelmed.

Idk this whole episode is just heartbreaking. It's devastating. I remember when I was someone praying on Kousuke's downfall and now I want to take it all back ;___; I always believed he had to crash and burn to be able to see the world for what it really was and to face his fears, but this is somehow so much worse.

And even though he's drunk, I don't think he's going to forget all of this in the morning. Rather, I think what he's voicing are things that have been plaguing him since waking up in the hospital. From that moment, we saw him wary and distrustful of his mother, we saw his concern for Nol rising above everything else, but grappling with the understanding that he doesn't deserve to stand in front of Nol anymore. These aren't epiphanies coming to him just because he's drunk; it's more like he's only voicing them because he's drunk. But even when he sobers up, he will probably still be haunted by these fears, these agonies, these truths, this understanding.

How does he face his mother after this? How does he face anyone? He may not even feel like he can trust Jayce - who while very kind to him, is still employed by his family. He may not even feel like he can trust Hansuke (though I really hope that's not the case).

He's so miserable and it genuinely hurts to have him lay it all out for us - everything we've known and suspected, like how it was so painfully clear he WANTED Nol's friendship, their brotherhood, but feared it, didn't believe that there was enough love to go around, that there could only be one of them and that even if it was for good or bad reasons, Nol cast him in the shadow. And all these years, watching as Nol, as Yeonggi, grew into this person who sounded so very much like this unknown version of their father, someone funny who makes others laugh, someone goofy, someone so boyish in the ways Kousuke was never allowed to be. Watching as he gathers friends, while Kousuke, so unlikeable, is wanted only for his money, for his status, for the clout.

He doesn't even know WHO HE IS! Questioning his own traits he's believed of himself, wondering if this is even him, if these parts of him are real or does he just act it, say it, pretend it, while trying to fulfill a role he was shoved into. That makes me feel SO deeply sad, because it's something I've been anticipating for so long: Kousuke wondering WHO he really is, how much of him is real and how much of it is the result of manipulation.

And that moment that he catches himself and says no no that's offensive and rude you can't be like that. ;AAA;

For him to admit how much he envies others, how much he craves the kind of connection others have, the kind of family others have, to feel that love and warmth that he's been deprived of, forced to endure this solitude because, as he believes, he didn't get the good parts of Rand. And what will happen when he learns that Rand isn't his father? That he never stood a chance to inherit any of those traits. Kousuke has operated on this belief that, if he tries hard enough, he can earn the things he craves, but I fear learning about his parenthood will make him think that no matter how hard he tried, he would never earn that, because none of it was ever him, could have gone to him.

I think this is where Shinae, in the future, will come in. I feel so very strongly that she will be someone who helps Kousuke to see that this isn't true, that these kinds of personality traits aren't something inherited, but rather something learned. For him to one day realize it's the paralyzing fear that holds him back, not his genetics. Of course, I acknowledge this will still take a lot of therapy but...

Something else very remarkable to me is the way Kousuke recognizes Shinae in Shinhye, because their eyes "feel the same" and he opens up to her - on some level, whether or not he is consciously aware of it, Kousuke knows, or maybe just wants to, that he can trust Shinae. That she is someone who is safe. He even knows how she feels about his mother. I don't think we'll see a lot of Kousuke and Shinae's friendship until we're passed our timeskips, but it makes me feel a little hopeful about it, that she'll be able to reach him, because she feels like someone who is safe. It's the way he sees Nol in her and wants to try to have that do over, a relationship with someone who  has unconditional love for him. It's the way he knows he mistreated Nol, that it was wrong, that he took it all out on this kid he was so afraid of because he had no other outlet, and he wants to do better but knows that there's nothing to salvage anymore.

But also, it just makes me hope more and more that in the future we WILL see a reconciliation between the brothers. As I say every time, it doesn't mean they have to become brothers or friends, but I just want them to see each other fully. Kousuke knows what he did to Nol. He doesn't deny it, even if he might not say it out loud unless he's drunk. But Nol is still so in the dark. Yujing is trying to tip him off and make him aware of it, but I hope one day when Nol realizes it, when he finds out that Kousuke, too, was Yui's victim, that he wasn't the only one, that Kousuke was made to fear Nol's love, he might.... understand. I'm saying understand here loosely because I don't want people to get the idea that I mean Nol will forgive him and Kousuke will be justified, but rather that Nol would be able to understand why Kousuke felt that way, and move on. But I can't help but hope that it will lead to an understanding, a reconciliation, where maybe they can try to be in each other's lives.

I think it's also interesting that Shinhye was somewhat honest, even if she wasn't very forthcoming, with Kousuke about her own family. It sounds like her mother has been gone for a long time, that she's been on her own the whole while, and I think it reinforces the idea that she believes both that Simhan is her father and that he rejected her, that he didn't want anything to do with her. It lines up, too, with how she feels that he wouldn't react well if he saw her (although I think she credited that to looking like their mother). In the same way that Shinae has felt abandoned and cast aside by their mother, Shinhye probably thinks their father never tried reach out, to find them, to maintain a relationship with her. Or perhaps it's that her mother fed her lies about him, made her believe him a different type of man, made her believe there would never be anything of their relationship to salvage. And given that she's the one who Kousuke opened to, it makes me think that there must be some kind of parallel there; the way she mentioned her own mother feels like maybe her mother, too, was a manipulative - or at the very least, dishonest - person.

I don't speculate a lot on Shinhye because frankly I don't think I know enough about her to really try to talk about her, but I do think that it's very likely there's some kind of connection between Shinhye and the Hirahras or Gun. To be clear, I don't believe she's working with Yui at all. I think it's more like... Alyssa isn't the only girl who has been trafficked by Gun. What's the likelihood that Shinae and Shinhye's mother was? Given her history, the gambling addiction that was so egregious her reputation haunted Shinae and chased her to a new neighborhood and school, was she seeking money somewhere else, somewhere more dangerous? Is that part of why they had to change their name? There's so many questions left about them, and I look forward to learning more about her, but, much like with Alyssa, I think it will take time and be dropped in little tidbits like this - things to read into and try to glean something from.

And maybe we'll see more of this duo in the future? It would feel a little weird to give them this one single run in, but I'm not entirely sure. Quimchee likes to keep us on our toes. After all, Minhyuk and Shinhye have also had only the one run in. Still, I think it would be interesting to watch, if Shinhye ever felt.... I want to say maybe compelled? to dig in more to Kousuke, ever feel a kind of kinship. I don't think she'll open up to him at all, but rather, maybe she'd keep going back because a. he's wealthy and there's more she can nick from him (assuming he doesn't realize she stole anything while in his apartment, if he even remembers any of this) and b. wanting to gather more intel.

Like I said though, she's hard to read so I don't want to cling too hard to any ideas and, instead, sit back and enjoy the show.

#ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #I Love Yoo #Kousuke Hirahara #Shinhye #idk what to tag her as because we know she isn't known as Shinhye anymore #and because Simhan and their mother never married AND she was from a previous relationship Yoo isn't even her family name #so I can't really use Shinhye Yoo lol #alas #anyway this episode was DEVASTATING and quimchee said it's the beginning of the sad episodes meant to happen in March #literally said 'It's all downhill from here' #which I take to mean til the timeskip #BUCKLE UP BABIES WE'RE GOING FOR A BIG CRY SESH ;______; #i gotta say tho this episode didn't even make me cry - i guess because none of this is new and I've been bracing myself for it #Kousuke is so fucking wet cat it agonizes me ;_____; #I could write a whole essay on how Yui destroyed him and Nol in one fell swoop #i think a lot about precocious little Kousuke who tried so hard to be a good little boy and rushed through school because he wanted so badl #to hurry up and catch up to his father and join him in the workplace #all the opportunities he lost #the way he tried to fit himself into a personality a person he never picked out but just believed would get him what he wanted #he lost himself in the process #or maybe he never even got to know himself #i think too a lot about Kousuke who played piano and gave it up when he came to believe it wasn't important to his dad #that it didn't garner the attention and praise he seeked #so he dropped it to better mold himself into someone he thought Rand WOULD be proud of #FUCKING DEVASTATED #I'M GOING TO JUMP OFF THE ROOF SOBS

[zkretchy]

Fun Fact: I named this file "if i had a wiggly for every time joey played a villain consumed by magic powers beyond their comprehension expressed through green light i'd have way more wigglys than anyone can handle but its weird that it happened twice" because I couldn't get it out of my head so welcome back to art that's specifically funny to only me and combine it with "I'll just do a quick simple drawing" that goes a bit out of hand anyway....eh it happens

#zkretchy #art #hatchetverse #black friday #nightmare time 2 #ezekiel #i still can't believe that is a canon episode #to be fair-it's hatchetfield-anything can happen #wilbur cross #also hi this came to me at fucking 1am last night so i got 4 hours of sleep #not even bc my brain stayed awake #so i basically only fiddled with some details now (8pm the other day AFTER a nap after work...sorry to myself) #anyhow for someone who doesn't love green i sure like these bright green lighting scenarios while the rest is pitch black darkness #starkid

[brother-emperors]

fuck pompey and sulla. i'm shipping you with crassus. space and time are no barriers for the "king of my heart".

OH LMAO I FORGOT I LEFT THAT TAG IN A POST

thank you, but for crassus' general well being, it's probably best if time and space was a barrier because it would end in a 'someone has died under suspicious circumstances' situation. he'd start planning on rigging an election and I'd immediately try and stab him. it's for the best that 'king of my heart' mostly means that I spend more time than I want to peeling him like an orange and sticking him into situations.

#inside me there are two dueling banjos. one wants to fuck him so bad it makes me look stupid. the other sort of wants to strangle him #he is my favorite narrative vehicle somehow beating out cassius for this role. wild. can't believe that happened #i almost thought about getting the 'what does gold taste like?' line from dante's purgatorio tattooed and then immediately sprayed #cold water at myself #ask tag

[thecraftyninjacat]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME remember when they accidentally made clover qrow's exact type

#crafty speaks #rwby #fair game #so foul of them. FOUL #as a gift to myself i shall indulge in the doomed old man yaoi once more amen 🥳 #anyway i still can't fucking believe this happened