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mattscoquette · 2 days

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“ 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝜗𝜚 “

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: matt sturniolo x fem!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: matt loving his girl through a depressive episode

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: mention of depression, anxiety, not eating, use of pet names, slight animal neglecting (not intentional!) no use of y/n, not proofread

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.7k

𝐚/𝐧: i wrote this in like an hour lol all of y'all in my inbox rlly got me in my feels about matt helping his girl thru a rough patch :( i've struggled a lot with my mental health over the years so i rlly liked writing this one. if anyone ever needs someone to talk to i am always here!!!! even if we don't know each other u can always reach out to me. i love u all :)

xoxo ₊˚⊹ ୨ৎ

⋆｡˚ ౨ৎ

the white walls of your bedroom began to get all contorted and fuzzy in your vision, you remembering to blink. you shut your eyes tight, sighing, praying the heavy feeling in your chest would just go away. your eyes re-opened, the plain wall staring back at you. you weren’t sure how long you were in this position, you being in and out of sleep for the past few days, or weeks even, you weren’t sure. your memory was hazy, you unable to recall anything other than you laying in bed, staring at the wall opposite you. you had only gotten out of bed a couple times from what you can recall, but only to use the bathroom and feed your cat when she kept meowing beside your bed. you can’t remember the last time you checked your phone, it probably dead somewhere trapped in between your dirty sheets.

you been this bad in a while. every now and then you would have days where you would just lay in bed all day, the thought of even sitting up draining you. but it hasn’t been like this in a long time. you were always the type to keep your feelings in, no matter how many times people offered to talk with you. you just couldn’t burden someone like that, you thinking your problems were small and insignificant. you couldn’t help it, you’ve been that way forever. the only way you ever opened up was when someone would pry, practically spreading you apart just to get something out of you. most of the people in your life didn’t bother with that, until you met matt. you’d been dating for nearly two years now, and he knew you like he knew the back of his hand. you both instantly clicked with one another, the two of you just pairing so well together. you both had a spidey-sense for each others emotions, often times one of you sensing the other was off before they even knew it themselves.

so with that being said, when matt or his brother’s hadn’t heard from you for the last five days, he knew something was wrong. he’d last seen you when he dropped you back off at your apartment last weekend, not speaking with you since then. he knew you were feeling a little under the weather, so he thought it best to just leave you alone and get some rest. after a few days, he began to worry, all of his texts still being on delivered and his calls going straight to voicemail. so he took it upon himself to drive over to your place to check up on his girl, hoping you were okay and just a little sick.

he let himself in with the key you had given him after a few months of dating, immediately being met with the mess that was your apartment. the dishes were piled in the sink, the garbage overflowing, the plants scattered on shelves and dressers beginning to welt.

“baby?” he called out, stepping inside the apartment, your cat instantly padding over to him, nudging herself against his calf.

“in here,” you tried to yell, your vocal chords only allowing you to speak at a whisper.

he made his way back into your bedroom, his heart dropping at the sight of you. your room was a disaster, clothes scattered along the carpeted floor, your shades drawn shut. matt climbed into your bed under the covers with you, pulling you into his chest and pressing a kiss to your head.

“i’m sorry matty,” you spoke, your voice emotionless. you hated when he saw you like this. most of the time, you swallowed your pride, asking him to come over to try and cheer you up. this time it was bad, and you could barely allow yourself to be this vulnerable, so letting your boyfriend be exposed to you in this state made you so anxious. he had enough issues to deal with, you couldn’t possibly dump all this on him. he deserved someone so much better than you, someone who could hold their own and didn’t need to be cared for like this.

“don’t be sorry, please. it’s okay, it happens,” he reassured you, pressing kisses to your hair, “how long have you been in bed for?”

you shrugged, it being too much to even talk right now.

“okay, do you remember what you did the last time you got up?”

your eyebrows furrowed, trying to recall. everything was so hazy in your mind, you unsure what day it even was. “i think i went to the bathroom and fed luna.”

matt hummed, beginning to stroke your arm as you laid on him. you two stayed like this for a while, matt just caressing your arm and giving gentle kisses to your head. after a bit he sat up, pulling you up with him.

“let’s get you in the shower, mkay love?” he told you, the thought making you anxious. you barely had enough energy to talk, the idea of showering making you panic. matt sensed your worry, scooping you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he carried you to the bathroom, sitting you down on the closed toilet lid as he ran the hot water. “you just get in, i’ll be back in a few.”

you nodded, stripping yourself of your week old pajama shirt and shorts, stepping underneath the hot water as matt left. your legs felt like they had anchors tied to them, you leaning against the wall and sliding down on the floor, curling your legs up into your chest as you hugged them. after god knows how long, matt came back like he promised, joining you in the hot steam. he pulled you up gently, grabbing you fruity scented shampoo as he squirted it into his hand, massaging your scalp gently. you sighed contently under your breath, trying your best to relax as you let matt wash you.

you felt like such a burden to him, embarrassed you couldn’t perform a task as simple as washing your own hair and body. when matt was done, he wrapped you in a fuzzy towel, drying you off before helping you slip into a fresh pair of sweatpants and your favorite hoodie of his. without even asking, matt reached into the drawer to grab your hair brush, him starting to gently untangle your hair with the bristles. “i changed your bedsheets for you,” matt spoke as he combed his way through your knots, “and i put all your dirty clothes into the washing machine too.”

“you didn’t have to do that.” you said quietly.

“i wanted to.” matt smiled, smiling at you from his reflection in the mirror. “i tidied up the kitchen as well, and i watered your plants and changed luna’s water and food bowl.”

this is what set you off, you breaking away from matt’s brushing, turning around and hugging his bare chest tightly, sobs escaping your throat as you broke down.

“i’m sorry i’m like this,” you told him as your voice quivered, “i don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“nothing is wrong with you, my sweet girl, nothing at all.” matt told you while he held you. “just let it all out for me baby.”

and so you did. you cried, holding on to matt with a grip so strong you’d think he’d slip away if you let up at all. he allowed you to cry, not caring about anything else in those moments other than just being there for you. he whispered soft encouragements into your wet hair, kissing your head every now and then, reminding you that he loved you. after some time, your broke away, your eyes bloodshot and puffy. without a word, you turned around, letting matt finish brushing your hair and braiding it.

“i love you so much, matt.” you said almost to yourself, looking up in the mirror to meet matt’s gaze.

“i love you so much more.” he smiled, wrapping his arms around your waist while he placed a delicate kiss behind your ear. “i ordered us some lunch, it should be here any minute.”

you nodded, following matt into your now clean living room. he stepped outside for a moment, retrieving the brown paper back that contained takeout from your favorite sushi place. the two of you sat on the couch, eating together in content silence. when you were done, matt cleaned up for you, coming back to where you resided on the couch. “let’s go for a drive, beautiful, okay? you need some fresh air.”

you sighed, looking up at him with sad eyes. “i can’t matt.”

“you can, my love.” matt said, sitting beside you and wrapping his arm around your shoulder, you leaning into his touch. “you did so much for me today, i’m so proud of you. when we get back home we can go to sleep, i just need you to get out of the house for a bit.”

you nodded softly, allowing matt to stand up with you as he guided you out to the car. he held the door open for you and buckled you in, pressing a kiss to your cheek. he walked around to the trunk, getting the blanket he kept in the van and tossing it across your lap.

the both of you drove around until matt’s gas light turned on, the windows down the whole time as your favorite songs played from his speakers. he had stopped to get you guys coffee and a sweet treat, this causing you to smile for the first time in days. he’d finally gotten you to talk more, the both of you conversing about anything and everything. when you returned back to your apartment, matt carried you back inside bridal style, settling you down on your bed.

he crawled underneath the newly clean sheets with you, holding you close to his chest while your legs intertwined with his. matt pulled away from the embrace for a moment, holding your face before kissing your lips lovingly.

“i love you so much, okay? you’re my girl, i’m always gonna be here for you.” he smiled, stroking your cheek with his thumb. you grinned back at him, giving him another kiss before snuggling back into his chest.

“i love you too.” you mumbled in his t-shirt, slowly and softly drifting off into the most peaceful sleep you’ve had in days, your stomach full, your clothes clean, your boyfriend’s arms around you.

you still had a long way to go. you weren’t sure if you would ever be one hundred percent better one day. but all you knew was that matt loved you and would be by your side every step of the way.

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬:

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