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#I REFUSE TO BE ALONE IN MY PAIN
okkennymay · 1 year
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You've cursed me
I've been cursed
HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME FERAL OF THE WET SOCK OF A MAN NAMED VLAD MASTERS
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I shall never be sorry
IF I HAVE TO LUST FOR HIM SO DO YOU
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beautifel · 8 months
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i. hate that i cant ignore any longer how fucked up i am
#ask 2 tag idk what to tag this but its negative. idk if i’m hormonal or whatever. it’s just that i’m so extremely emotional lately#like i always havebeen but it’s insane lately and i know some of the reasons but i have no idea what to do abt it. which is bad#i wish i knew how to confront …it all. im so avoidant it is genuinely pathetic#and even if i wanted to confront anything iwouldnt know how… n how to tell ppl around me#the pains ive taken to ignore my issues over the yrs n by that i mean suppress the knowledge that they even exist Lmao it is so pathetic#let alone the pains ive taken to hide from other ppl that which im suppressing. and to hide how badly i cope with anything#like any problem at all not just things that have anything to do with The Thing#i finally told my girlfriend about something i never thought id ever say out loud to anyone n it was so hard#the whole convo was so hard bc shes dealing with so much too and shes been getting help for 3 yrs n i know#with her baggage of trauma a relationship is one of the hardest things#n ive never ever regretted our relationship but with the things we are both dealing wtih. or rather not dealing with in my case#it is so . hard.. and i feel like ive been so unfair bc i havent been getting help even tho i need it. and she has.#the sheer irony of me refusing to get help or even admit 2 myself i need it even tho im literally about to be the person who helps others#this cannot go on lmao. the only thing im sure about is that i wanna spend my life with her but with everything tht we have on our plate#its so.. unsure i feel so powerless . i cannot change the past i cant change either of our previous experiences#its so unfair how we risk losing the best thing that ever happened bc of things out of our control#ive genuinely never been more scared of anything than i am of the idea of losing this relationship#we had such a deep conversation today and it was necessary and good but god we’re fucked up people#so i .contacted the uni psych today finally but im so fucking scared and idk what to even say when i get there#ive never until today said it out loud ive never even written it down anywhere
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boltgunkiller-archive · 5 months
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i do NOT mess around about the s2 brittana storyline. i have watched sexy 3 times this week and 4 times last week and 3.5 (i didn’t finish it) the week before. and that’s outside of my s2 rewatch
#sexy is my favorite instance of it what can i say ❤️#similar to when i memorized all of sam and deena’s arguments in fs94 i am starting to memorize brittana moments#and well. where else better to start than sexy?#also been rewatching rumors & born this way a lot#i need to rewatch prom queen more tbh it’s got good moments#but like i really really love sexy. like i just enjoy thinking about brittana’s s2 storyline and their growth throughout#if i weren’t literally vibrating like a ps4 controller over brittana and how much they love each other rn#i’d go into a fulllll essay about it#but for now. i just Need it to be known. s2 brittana is always. In my head#ugh it’s just like santana was so defensive at the start of s2#and she hurt brittany. they apologized but then brittany began to realize that after santana turned her down so harshly in 2x4#that she really does wanna have a relationship. so she started dating artie#and now santana has significantly less brittany. they were basically in a relationship (in private) just no title#but now they can’t even have that. and they can’t really hangout much at SCHOOL because brittany’s with artie all the time now#and all of that alone time and really having to sit in her longing and feelings for brittany#(especially considering santana turning britt down so harshly in 2x4 like i mentioned)#santanas beginning to realize she wants more. she feels more. she’s all of these things she refused to ever think about. and that’s scary#and she can’t lean on brittany. brittany’s leaning on someone else for everything. and brittany herself is the reason behind santana having#to face her pain and fears#and all of these things she didn’t want to admit#so it’s scary and she freaks out and even lashes out and brittany’s frustrated#because now they can’t connect or even be friends because everything’s out there now after 2x15(sexy) happens#they can’t be best friends knowing how santana feels (and brittany too). but then not talking is hurting them BOTH#brittany’s more upfront but santana genuinely can’t take it either#and it’s just. UUUUGH#idgaf about them. ☺️❤️ totally#gleeposting#also admittedly that may not be a lot#but my attention span is a whole other demon. it’s a miracle i managed that ontop of watching other glee eps 💀
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damianosismyking · 7 months
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truth is SOME BITCHES OUT THERE are boring as fuck.
I miss the old days when we were all fucked in the head and down for whatever novelty take/approach we had to these characters in this DARK FANTASY trilogy we adore.
not..... you know. who is the nicest character doing the nicest things in the nicest way.
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hella1975 · 2 years
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okay so im staying the night at my friend's in my Uni City on sunday bc my maths exam is monday morning and i dont have any accommodation there anymore (which is really stupid on the uni i feel? like they expect kids to be paying the train and accommodation fares AND navigate the current rail strikes AND revise during heatwaves when they could just very easily in this post-covid world put the exams online? baffling) and this is my one coursemate that's super super good for me in that she's VERY disciplined and WILL yell at me if im not working like i should be. she's also the econ student who asked me in the corruption lecture if tax evasion is legal but that's neither here nor there. anyway my point is she lives locally hence why im staying with her and i cannot stress enough how much she singlehandedly holds my academic life together. like i am going to show up on her doorstep with all my notes and just burst into tears im sure of it
#guarantee she'll teach me more for my resit the night before than i managed to do in 4 weeks alone#the only thing is her parents are SUPER fucking nice and keep offering me shit#and im so so miserable during exam season like i need to just stay in a room all day revising and not talking to people#otherwise the stress will just eat me alive#so even though it's a pain im then gonna come HOME on monday after the exam just to stay at hers again#on the 3rd for my macro exam next thursday#nightmare#BUT her parents keep insisting i stay the entire time like keep in mind they've met me ONCE#and tbf parents always love me like it's just one of my charms <3 but inviting someone for FOUR DAYS when i wont even be leaving#the house the entire time is mad#like mad in a good way bc they genuinely are just being stupidly generous#BUT STILL#and they always offer me a shit ton of food and im a nightmare for refusing free food#like one time the uni converted part of the SU into a langar and i went with this exact friend actually#when i tell you it was the worst combination in the best way my god i have never eaten so much in my life#she was like 'just say no when they offer' i was like bestie i CANT you dont understand#and it's like that with her parents too im in heaven and hell simultaneously every time#so im just gonna be teary and stressed out my mind on the floor surrounded by notes as far as the eye can see#and my poor friend and her parents are gonna be TOO NICE and it's going to break me like i have been holding on by a thread all month#watch me on the verge of a breakdown and the thing that tips me being the absolute angel that is my friend mum#once again asking if i want anything#her: are you okay in here can i get you anyth-#me: *immediately starts sobbing*#AND IM ON MY PERIOD ARE YOU INSANEEE#hella goes to uni#anyway im feeling normal about this resit how are you
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smoreal · 10 months
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They know not of what is to come. I alone must carry the burden of this knowledge. I alone amthehonored—
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mako-island-moon-pool · 10 months
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You want to know how bad my memory is?
I was writing last night and I just straight up forgot that Sanji exists. I have been watching this show since 2012, he was my fave Strawhat outside of Luffy pre-TS, and I FORGOT HE EXISTED.
I was like 'hm yes well the ones who would understand are Nami and Robin... W- wasn't there one more I was thinking of a moment ago? Wasn't there another one who'd Get It?????'
'it's not Chopper. Definitely not Usopp. And it's not Zoro. That's all the remaining Strawhats at this point in the story. So... Why am I convinced I'm forgetting someone? Let's go through the arcs in my head agai- OH MY GOD, I FORGOT SANJI'
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#When I tell you my memory is shit... 😭 I used to own a Sanji shirt. What the fuck??#When that post about the memory issues finally leaves my queue#Like I joke about it but this shit can be genuinely terrifying. Like knowing my brain is getting worse. Knowing I'm probably forgetting#Seriously important things and just 'oops I can't remember haha'#It's scary.#I'll never get better because I'll just relive the pain over and over because my brain refuses to remember the help and progress I make#Every day I wake up back at step 1 it's so depressing and scary and horrifying and I hate it#I can never process anything bc I just forget and if I do remember it's like a punch to the chest for the first time every time#And people get SO sick of you after a while. Constantly asking for help. Never remembering anything. They get so annoyed with you.#Anyway. On a lighter note (not actually) I'm trying out a new one-shot :)#Not to speak ill of the 'soon-to-be' dead but Garp was a shit grandfather#So I was like What If Me And Luffy Had The Same Reaction#Because self love starts in recognizing your self through the other god damn it#Even if I finish this idk if I'll post it bc of how personal it is but it has been very cathartic to write#Then again I could just publish it anonymously so my irl friends won't see it. No harm no foul.#I (kid) once pushed my mom (grown adult) out of my room when she caused me to have a meltdown so I could 100% see Luffy doing the same thin#In my defense she had a habit of taunting me and destroying my stuff to punish me after inciting meltdowns and I just wanted to be alone#I was like 7 years old at the time (hell year hell year) so I doubt I actually hurt her. She just looked surprised. I remember that.#Sometimes I wonder why I identify so much with werewolves and then I remember ah yes. The childhood of being treated like a monster.#Like a freak because when people kept pushing your boundaries you'd rather bite than let them do whatever they want to you#Oh boo hoo such a terrible thing for a child to be... Protective of themselves...#ANYWAY. like I said this wasn't going to be much lighter.#I want Luffy to punch the lights out of Garp to protect his friends. Not even in-canon just in this fic#Ik in-canon Garp is a complex guy and loads of fans love him but... Smash eggs make sandwiches know what I'm saying?#Yeah GROOVY
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citronaut69 · 11 months
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Work shit in the tags cause it's A Lot
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faerociousbeast · 2 years
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who are your naruto irls? :o
ok look man i've already said multiple times i wont talk about this with just anyone/dont have any. stop assuming i have any at all in the first place, if if i had any and wanted to list them they would already be listed. im not going to Be from ALL of my interests ok? my list is relatively short bc its already STRESSFUL being the few that i am and just. i do not want to talk about this anymore alright? thanks
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loptrcoptr · 2 years
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Goddamn pet insurance company has refused to cover my cat’s 3700 dollar full mouth extraction of teeth because apparently oral surgery doesn’t count as surgery, it counts as “non emergency dental care”??? That’s some serious bullshit, if you have to go under general anesthesia it’s a fucking major surgery, we are not talking a teeth cleaning, she’s one year old and had to have all her teeth removed.
Folks who have fought medical bills before, is sending them a new claim highlighting all the shit that doesn’t involve dental care on that same bill (X-rays, cat scan, etcetera) the next step? Or do I just call and rant?
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tiercel · 2 years
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On one hand i do think its sad that many trans peoples first thought upon realizing they were trans is “oh shit” but it is funny that it gets to be a shared experience of dawning identity 
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*head in hands* oh God my parental issues affect my view of Kiryu
#it feels so DUMB and CLICHE like is it not enough for me to fully understand this man and why he does what he does and the fact that it#always comes from a good place and yet his actions nearly ALWAYS hurt those around him so it makes me irratated with him. Is it not enough#for him to be a mirror that reflects back at me and reminds me of everything I hate about myself? Is that not enough?#Noooo I have to go and care about Haruka more than the writers do so what I see is a girl who wants stability and who loves her father#who tries to be like 'im always here for you you can always count on me' but in practice is distant and leaves her to struggle alone#the one man she always knows will be there is the same man she can count in to never be there. his actions being fuelled by love and his ow#untreated issues somehow don't dull the pain but they do make you think you should be grateful for what you have and don't be harsh#It is at this point I May Be Projecting but always I'm correct. Anyway their relationship isn't 100% me n my dad ofc#I wouldn't even say we're both LIKE the characters but I'm seeing the threads. I'm seeing the reflection. I dont like it dnbmhfgndgdn#smol speaks#once again life would be easier if I JUST hated Kiryu but he makes it very difficult to do so but he also makes it difficult to like him#He's so fuckin stupid. But also his upbringing sucked. His views of the world and how he's 'supposed' to act clash with his inherent desire#and nature to be selfless and help others. Trying to prove to himself and others a 'true yakuza' is some beacon of honour#the people's champion. imo he is proven wrong time and time again but he refuses to hear it. At what point does it stop being a case of#standing your ground an act worthy of respect but then becomes bullheaded stupidity#selflessness into selfishness. courage into idiocy. love into hurt. fuck off Kiryu. get some help. you have it#smol plays yakuza
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hipipi · 2 months
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.
#personal#i'm so miserable#Broke my 7 year sh streak#I want to die so bad#I wish I could want to live#Everyday for months ive felt physically choked#I'll delete later maybe I just need to vent a little bit#Refusing to believe I'm at rock bottom because I just can't fathom returning to the same place I was at when I was 18#I had nothing to live for at that point and I was so fucked up#But I'm better now! Everything I wanted to do I've done!#I don't feel as useless and alone anymore#So why am I still here being violent with myself#I write rants to put on my Instagram and delete them#Bc I realized they were serving as suicide notes and final remarks to the people I've met#So extremely bitter#The answer to the earlier question is probably just to end the constant pain#I can't do it anymore#How many times have I said that#And then I do it anyways#And then I end up here all relapsed and fucked up#Negative#I kind of just feel like 90% of the time things have gotten “better” I've actually just been manic#Making and saying irrational stuff#It's funny though because I don't think I've ever set out deliberately hurt someone#I definitely have hurt people by accident and I try so hard to be on guard to avoid that#And I think that's part of the reason I turn to hurting myself instead#But I just find it funny how other people set out to deliberately hurt me for small petty reasons#And then feel terrible after so they come saying sorry but blaming it on their mental health that they've never even researched or looked at#Before they used it as an excuse#I'm out of tags but yeah like I'm suffering and constantly declawing myself for everyone around me but I have to grin and bear it
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gay-dorito-dust · 1 month
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I have been binging your work!
I don't know if this breaks your trauma rule or not, but (with the guys of your choosing as long as Ratio is there) how would the guys react to losing reader (they haven't confessed feelings yet) during a mission and thinking they died. Then, the reader reappears a week later bandaged up, but alive. Maybe spouts their confession first? ˘͈ᵕ˘͈
I adore your writing. Thank you!
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This is way too fucking long, so be warned. It’s like I rammed 4 mini stories in one but got lost at some point cuz I left this ask to collect dust. Also thanks for enjoying my writing it’s much appreciated. :) 🦦🐿️
Sunday:
The moment he got news that you’ve been assumed dead in the aftermath of a dangerous mission, he looses composure really quickly.
Loosing Robin was one thing but loosing you on top of that was the straw that broke the camels back.
He originally doesn’t believe that you were gone, he refuses to as he practically tears his office to shreds in a fit of anger and grief before forcing himself to regain composure and clean up after his outburst. He needed to in order to keep up the illusion that he was the levelheaded leader The Family needed in these moments of chaos and mistrust.
Even if he himself was breaking down internally alongside everyone else, hellbent on finding the culprit for your death and punishing them so severely that they’d beg for death. He’d avenge you in anyway he could, even if it meant sending out the bloodhound family on a wild goose chase that only ends in dead ends, he would get you justice no matter how it may come.
His heart had died alongside you that day.
So when a week passes and he finally has you back in his arms, all the while being carful with your wounds as his eyes searched you over in a way you weren’t use to.
‘You’re alive.’ He breathes out in relief as he then begins to laugh and rest his head against yours, breathing you in deeply as he relishes in this long awaited moment. ‘Of course you’re alive.’ He mutters.
‘Sunday,’ you began but Sunday was quite to cut you off.
‘Do you know how I felt thinking you were dead? Driving myself insane to prove that you were still alive anyway I could as not to bear the idea of walking through this life without the one person I love so dearly.’ Sunday takes a brief pauses in his monologue, feeling out of breath after having put everything out into the open before continuing. ‘I thought my heart had stopped beating that day and now I have you bad in my arms.’ Sunday then chuckles darkly as he gripped you tighter. ‘I’ll ensure that I’d never have to revisit that part of my life ever again.’
‘Sunday-‘
‘Shhh.’ Sunday cuts you off once more, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he holds you close to his chest, rubbing your back soothingly. ‘Just know that what I do after this, I do out of my love for you.’ He says against your forehead before pressing another kiss there for good measure.
Jing yuan:
Loss wasn’t new to Jing Yuan.
He has experienced it in multiple forms throughout his life, but that didn’t made the news of your death any less painful for the General.
While his mind might’ve made peace with the fact that you were gone, his heart however did not as he would find himself in the places that you often vacated to in moments of stress, or to just be left alone for a while with your thoughts. So to no longer see you in any of those hidden spots -waiting for him to find you like you usually did- only worsened the grief he felt in his heart as he sat himself down and allowed the memories to pass over him in waves.
You were both so happy together and felt a sense of fulfilment that could only be achieved when you were within the other’s presence; A feeling that was uniquely yours and yours alone that could never be replicated, ever. For no one could ever come close to replacing you, nor the companionship you and he had for each other that many assumed would blossom into something more; Jing Yuan also shared the same sentiments as they did, but just as he built the courage to push that boundary between the two of you, you were taken from him before he could utter a single word.
So when a week passes and Jing Yuan found your battered and beaten form in one of your secret spots, back resting against a tree with your eyes closed.
‘Y/n?’ He called out and your eyes opened upon hearing his voice and looking at him with a weak smile. ‘Hey General, miss me?’ You said as you struggled to get up to your feet, only to stumble forward and into Jing Yuan’s chest as his strong yet gentle hands hold you in place.
‘More than you could ever hope to know.’ Jing yuan said as he focused on how you felt beneath his hands, warm and alive.
‘I’m sorry I kept you waiting.’ You muttered against his chest as his warmth made you realised just how tired you were from everything you’ve experienced this last week alone. ‘I never meant to keep you waiting in fear that you’d forget about me if I don’t stay in your life long enough.’ You admit and Jing Yuan instinctively presses a soft kiss to the top of your head, holding you protectively.
‘I could never forget about you my beloved.’ Jing Yuan reassured you as he looked you deep into your eyes. ‘You’ve managed to carve your place within my heart and soul, so much that there isn’t a day where you aren’t all I think about, regardless of whether or not your by my side or far away.’ He finished by pressing a gentle kiss to the gauze on your cheek, chuckling upon seeing your cute attempts of burrowing your face into his chest.
‘How long have you’ve been waiting to say this.’ You asked, thankful that he was the one to admit his feelings first, as you would’ve had a hard time articulating your words as fluidly as he could.
‘For a very long time.’ Jing Yuan replied with a small smile as he then proceeded to lift you into his arms, cuasing you to squeal in surprise, as he made sure to be carful of your wounds and began walking to the nearest medics to make sure your wounds weren’t going to be trouble later on.
Aventurine:
He didn’t know what to think when you were pronounced dead, all Aventurine could feel in that moment was an overwhelming numbness that encased him entirely.
The only light left in his life had been snuffed out, plummeting him into utter and total darkness he had once been well acquainted with until you came along, giving him a reason to keep looking forward despite everything.
You were no longer here to hold onto his left hand before he could even think of hiding it behind his back out of habit, you were no longer here to be his reason, his comfort, his safe place. You were taken away from him unfairly and once again Aventurine found himself asking the same question he has been asking himself for a long time; why everyone was born into this life just to die.
So when a week passes and Aventurine finds himself sat on a bench somewhere, still not dealing well then than he was the week of your assumed passing, lost in his own thoughts when someone took a seat next to him. Aventurine was just about ready to tell them to go away, when he saw just who was sitting next to him; you.
‘I know, I look like shit but you don’t have to look at me like that.’ You spoke upon feeling his eyes gaze upon the gauze on your cheek, then towards the array of bandages that littered the rest of your body.
‘I thought you died.’ He hissed, emotion was heavy in his voice as his eyes became bleary with unshed tears as he felt his breathing become heavy with the reality that you were alive. He didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t in that moment as his mind raced. And it wasn’t until you reached out to grasp his left hand and intertwine your fingers together, squeezing, did everything finally became clear to him.
‘I thought I was too at one point but there was something that kept me from journeying over to the afterlife.’ You admit, looking over at him and smiling sweetly, wanting nothing then to calm his thoughts and reassure him that this wasn’t a dream.
‘And what was that?’ He laughs humourlessly as he stares back at you, wanting to hear what excuses you could come up with for faking being dead for a week. ‘Willpower? Determination?’
‘You Kakavasha.’ You replied straightforwardly and his breath hitched in his throat. You rarely used his actual name unless it was absolutely serious. ‘You were all I thought about as I pushed through my injuries.’ You told him as you continued. ‘Kakavasha is waiting for me was just about all I could think about for a week straight.’ You finished as though you didn’t just confess that he was your soul motivator in staying alive.
‘Really?’ Aventurine said softly, finding it impossible that he could possibly be your reason for anything. ‘Why?’
‘Yes really.’ You chuckled, pressing a kiss to his cheek as you rested your head against his shoulder. ‘As for why, it’s because I like you more then did let myself admit, but i just wanted you to know incase anything truly bad were to ever happen to me-‘
‘No.’ Aventurine cut you off suddenly, squeezing your hand as though he were afraid. ‘Nothing is going to happen to you, not now. not ever. I just got you back.’ He adds resting his head against your own in a desperate attempt of feeling more of your against him. ‘Just stay with me…please.’ He begs you in a whisper as he nuzzled further into you. ‘and don’t go anywhere I can’t follow. I don’t think I can bear the thought of loosing you again.’
You smiled softly as you just whispered back against the skin of his neck. ‘As long as you don’t go anywhere I can’t follow. I like my crush to be alive and close by even if he can be a pain in my ass sometimes.’
Aventurine chuckles, his heart becoming whole again as he made you cuddle into his side, kissing your head once more as you took this moment to familiarise yourselves with each other. ‘At least I’m a pleasurable pain in the ass.’ He teased and you pinch his side, causing him to flinch, but his smile remained and this time his smile was genuine.
His light has came home.
Ratio:
Fully believed that he’d see you when the mission ended, knowing just how talented and dedicated to the craft you were, and having faith that this would be a measly walk in a park for you.
Only to receive word that you were one of the many who were assumed dead when you weren’t found amongst the living nor the dead.
Veritas tries to remain as levelheaded and logical as possible during this time and continue life as normal. However found himself retracting from everyone else and going none contact, more so specifically with the people you were once associated with, and instead focused heavily on his studies and academics to an unhealthy extent.
A week passes and Veritas feels as though he’s seen a ghost the moment he saw you in his peripheral vision, bandaged and dressed in ripped clothing but still somehow finding it in you to smile.
‘You idiotic Buffon!’ He exclaims as he walks towards you.
‘Well that’s a nice way to greet someone you care about.’ You replied as you readied yourself for a massive rant about how stupid you were and so on, but instead you were held against his chest as he burrows his head into your neck.
‘I thought you died.’ He says in a whisper as he breathed you in. This went against all logic but in that rare moment Veritas didn’t care, you were alive but he still couldn’t let go of the fact that you didn’t tell anyone you were still alive. ‘Why didn’t you tell anyone that you were alive, send a signal, anything.’
You shrugged as you made yourself comfortable in his strong arms. ‘All communications were badly damaged or completely cut off.’ You told him. ‘I was on my own for a long while before finding my way back to you.’
‘Me?’ Veritas asked, pulling away from you. ‘Why not a medial facility for a proper treatment of your wounds? Have you hit your head so hard that common sense had been left on the back burner when making that decision?’
‘I wanted to see you first you dickhead!’ You exclaimed, shutting Veritas up rather quickly with your confession but you didn’t care. ‘is it so wrong of me to let the man I love know that I’m okay? So go ahead and call me an idiot all you like but that won’t change the fact that I felt more fear about not telling you how I truly feel then dying on some stupid mission.’ You finished your rant.
‘You’re insufferable.’ Veritas said after a moment of silence and you couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed at this that you didn’t notice that Veritas has began to close in the distance between the two of you.
You scoffed. ‘Oh sure call me insufferable as if you-‘ Veritas cuts you off by cupping your cheeks and planting a sweet short lived kiss against your lips before pulling away with a smirk.
‘Glad to know that the feelings are reciprocated.’ He says, taking enjoyment of rendering you speechless as he gently guided you to medical, and remaining by your side for the remainder of the day.
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soarrenbluejay · 2 months
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Since I’ve been encouraged to actually share my funny little blorbo ideas here’s another one gang;
Danny moves to Gotham on scholarship for engineering, because the Fentons may be infamous but they’re also insanely brilliant and besides both he and Jazz are showing every sign of embarrassed child of a super genius syndrome, so while the bats are keeping a close eye on him Just In Case, duke is also thinking of introducing him to the Our Parents Are Maniacs But Anyway club maybe after the first month or so.
Gotham does not go for standard dorm living bc of his ‘condition’ and lack of wanting to constantly spook/gaslight a roommate. Besides, living with two small children is a dorm sounds like a disaster in action.
So Danny signs up as a mechanic in Crime Alley, buys himself a teeny weensy lil apartment and Makes It Work. He has been all year after showing up with a de aged Dani and Dan in Amnity after all, and that had gone,,, fine? (The entire town, observing how Danny had been getting increasingly more uncomfortable around his godfather prior to the cloning incident, then just dropped off the face of the earth for several months, the first two weeks stuck in Vlad’s basement enduring horrors and the next Too Many desperately fapping around in the Ghost Zone to get everything handled. All the clones live, all 13 of them. Bunch of them are stuck in the Ghost Zone due to constant need for ectoplasm, but eh, plenty of Zone born never leave, so. One, in the future, apprentices under a green warrior lady on Pandora’s suggestion, another is working in the Eternal Library with Ghost Writer, etc etc. so Danny eventually came back to Amnity with one small child under each arm very obviously traumatized by Somethingn with vlad and doesn’t like being alone with him,,, or touched without warning,, and immediately and passionately proclaims the kids his but struggles to explain how or why,, look some very reasonable assumptions are drawn okay. So the town does the very reasonable thing and does the midwestern equivilant of excommunicating Vlad, except it’s a lot more run him out with pitchforks vibes since he’s the Mayor. Anyway)
He is immediately loved, because while non Gothamites are usually more of a pain than they’re worth, everyone in a while someone even from out of town will just fit in so nicely it’s uncanny for everyone involved. Addams family vibes, it’s referred to as ‘making it home’, just personal hc. He is protective of all the kids playing in the parks and street girls that can totally take care of themselves on their corners but find it HILARIOUS when he just tackles a dick like a wild animal full force no warning. He can fix anything it seems, but refuses to work with weapons. Reasonable enough, people get twitchy about gangs sometimes. Danny mentions being not against Hood or anything, but he’s not going to work for him, littles to take care of and all, but had past experience with ‘Dora and that inheritance mess with her brother he was being a real prick about’ so everyone assumes it’s the equivilant of him having Done His Time and being plenty good for a life time and respects it as long as none of that petty midwestern small town hotshots bring any of that shit over here. And they don’t, because said individuals are on the other side of the mortal veil, so happy day.
See I really love deaged!Dan because he’s just a grumpy lil guy. But he’s also killed millions. He’s so protective of his loved ones, but held back by blending in and also being Smol that it comes off more bitey kitten than anything else. Dani, of course, is a terror, so she fits right in with the crowd.
And sorry gang, but a bunch of kids on their own in Gotham in a poor side of the city just isn’t going to get any attention: that’s just business as usual really. What first gets attention on Danny is not his ‘condition’ or being mistaken for a meta (which he legally probs has an argument for even without the gene bc like these bitches don’t know how metaism works anyway so) or alien (I’m 90% sure he’d be covered by the alien protection act by virtue of being half ‘not from earth’), but because Danny despite best efforts is a Weird Guy.
He grew up in what could only be described as a low level villain level and spent most of high school dealing with smack downs and spiritual invasion. He’s never really processed that any of that is not in fact Normal. Also, he’s capable of making Anything if given the insides of a toaster, blender and alarm clock, and could probably rewrite the circuits of the apartment blindfolded and improve them 1000% even if it ABSOLUTELY would not be up to code.
And sure, things slip every once in a while, bits of spectral ice here, small floating incident there, but everyone just Minds Their Buisness ya know? You really gunna mess with the guy that personally ensured that when your car got flattened by a fight with Killer Croc, you were still able to get in to work the next day by some wizardry? Really?
But Gotham is a city so cursed it’s probably in the exponents countwise, so of course there is a) a flourishing community of magic users and assorted supernatural weirdos and b) a whole lot of shit for Mega Overpowered Ghost King Danny to idly pick at day to day in order to help with his protecting other Obsession. Gotham has plenty of heroes, but by god do they need the spiritual equivilant of an electrician/priest.
Still, Danny, as a baby ancient under a facet of Kronos and KING OF THE DEAD is like, way, way out of their scope to be able to grok, so it mostly just comes off as you know, a family of banshees or something. When asked, Danny very haltingly says he was briefly dead but then revived, which neatly explains his Weird Ass aura and makes it SPECTACULARLY AWKWARD to ask further about. So everyone nods politely, and goes back to their lives after double checking no nefarious bullshit was being pulled.
Then, of course, Vlad finally tracks them down. The whole neighborhood is altered in short order because he doesn’t bother trying to hide being a Rich Bitch or how he’s sneering down his nose at people on the sidewalk. Every connects the dots when Danny paniks. Dani and Dan’s daycare are staffed with some extra, very buff set of hands within the hour. Jerry, Hood’s third in command, personally shows up to the garage Danny is working at to talk things out with him bc he knows he does t like the deal with this stuff due to past unspecified circumstances but well, they guys had already started fucking with him, you see. Stole his tires, spray painted the windows, pickpocketed him blind, and when he retreated tipped off the police to the drugs they’d planted in the glove box.
Danny might not have been born in Gotham, but he was one of them. And the Alley takes care of it own.
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sytoran · 7 months
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𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟎𝟎𝟔 — 𝐒𝐈𝐙𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊
kinktober day 006 | roommate!natasha x werewolf!reader
despite your countless pleads for natasha to stay away during the full moon, she decides to brave the beast and be right by your side during your transformation. she gets a lot more than what she bargained for.
cont. reader has a cock, (very) rough sex, breeding, creampie
word count. 2063
kinktober masterlist || main masterlist
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“Natasha, you can’t stay here during my transformation,” you plead, grasping your roommate’s hand in yours.
The brunette is adamant, looking up at you with a stubbornly steely gaze. “I’m staying, Y/N. You don’t have to do this alone anymore. You don’t have to suffer alone.”
You wring your hands in exasperation, somewhere near tearing your hair out in frustration or crying in anger. “You’re not listening to me, Nat. It’s not just the pain. I become a different being altogether, and you just can’t see me like that.”
“I can, and I will,” she stubbornly says, folding her arms over her chest and mistakably pushing her cleavage up, too.
The tips of your ears burn at seeing Natasha so utterly bratty.
You bite your tongue, refusing to argue with Natasha even more. Keeping you safe was one thing, but the real reason to steer Natasha away from you during the full moon was to keep her safe.
Because when you’re in your werewolf form, your true desires get heightened by a thousandfold, and from the way you already feel about Natasha, you’re worried it might implode when it comes to your inner beast.
As the Gods of Fate have it out for you, the full moon comes earlier than expected.
Your first agonized cry comes when Natasha’s still in the shower.
“Y/N!” Natasha calls out your name, once, haphazardly scrambling to wrap a towel around herself and sprint to the room where your cries are coming from.
The sight that greets her is absolutely horrific.
You’re bent over, on the floor of your room, on all fours and spitting out blood. Your back is bent at an inhuman angle, your spine broken.
“......Y/N?” Natasha’s voice shook, rooted to the spot in sheer terror.
You don’t respond. You’re in a state of little awareness, or so it seems, a low grunt of pain and fury escaping from you as your transformation continues. 
Natasha takes in a deep breath and steps into the room.
She wants to reach out, hold your hand, tell you that it’s going to be fine but she knows it’s not. The sounds of excruciating pain, broken bones, and surpassed limits make Natasha weep for you on the inside, knowing that you have to go through this painstaking process every month.
The transformation seems to be slowing down, now. Your human blood is splattered across the walls of your room, but your werewolf form seems to be perfectly healthy. You’re still more human than wolf, though: your muscles had thickened and were iron-hard, and you were taller than before. 
However, your wolfish eyes that survey the room are bloodshot red and absolutely inhuman.
That gaze is a chilling scene, narrowed eyes and steady puffs of air surveying the room. Your slow yet calculated mannerisms are reminiscent of your human form.
Natasha hasn’t quite yet caught your eye,  but when she does, it’s like a predator has found its prey.
Your red eyes are like lit coals and smoking silver, surveying Natasha with every ounce of authority and a near possesiveness.
“Natasha.”
Time stills, and the sound of your haunting voice reverberates around the four walls of your room.
Natasha truly can’t help but let out the tiniest whimper of fear. And perhaps a little something more.
“Y/N,” Natasha says your name again, because it seems to be the only thing capable of falling from her lips, and she swallows harshly at your predatory behaviour. She presses into the wall, one hand clutching the top of her towel, the other finding purchase in the edge of your cupboard. 
When you begin to move closer, Natasha screws her eyes shut, anticipating what was to come. Your presence looms over her, metaphorically and physically, and Natasha waits for her inevitable demise.
The ‘inevitable demise’ never happens.
Instead, Natasha’s eyes flutter open slowly to your huge hands gently wrapping around her torso, a sharp nose burying itself into the crook of her neck.
The whine she lets slip is involuntary. Your close proximity undermines her calm composure, regardless of your way, shape, or form. If that was telling of her feelings towards you, Natasha would choose to play oblivious.
You’re supposed to be scary, and Natasha’s supposed to be terrified, but with the way you’re dragging your nose up and down the column of Natasha’s slender neck, inhaling her sweet scent, she hardly considers her heart to be beating steadily.
She’s intoxicated by you, even more so with your unabashed exploration of Natasha’s neck. The redhead might be grasping at straws, but it’s almost like you’re seeking something. Something from Natasha. Comfort, perhaps?
“You’re okay,” the redhead whispers, fingers combing through your fur in comforting motions. She hears something that sounds suspiciously like a purr of satisfaction, so she repeats that motion.
Your head moves from her pale neck to her pretty collarbones and down her cleavage until your nose hits the obstruction of Natasha's towel.
A low rumble of disgruntlement sounds from somewhere deep in your chest. Natasha lets a full-body shudder take its hold of her body, under the vibrations of your low decibels.
Not comfort, then. What was it?
Almost like you could read Natasha’s inner thoughts, your werewolf form decides to say capre diem and let a huge hand slither up the inside of your roommate’s bare thigh.
Natasha squeals and swats your hand away, instinctively, then she catches herself and her eyes go wide. 
Oh. 
The fire that dances in your eyes is nothing short of a human-like mischief, playful and oh so dangerous. The incarnadine flush that adorns Natasha’s cheeks like a flower blossoming in the spring is one that your werewolf greedily soaks up, pulling her body flush against yours.
You can see the moment realization hits Natasha, the moment she realizes your desires are nothing short of sinful. 
“Want,” you enunciate slowly, stately and unyielding. Your eyes are locked onto hers, gleaming. 
Expectant. Possessive. Knowing.
The grasp of your hand on her inner thigh once again has Natasha letting out a breathy moan, one of pleasure and a startling realisation.
It wasn’t comfort. It was sex.
-----
If Natasha knew that werewolves were this fucking astronomical at sex, she would’ve introduced supernatural creatures into her bed a long time ago.
The position she’s in is nothing short of embarrassing, on all fours, grasping at the headboard like it was her lifeline. 
Perhaps it was, truthfully, because with the ferocity of the thrusts of your Herculean-sized werewolf cock into her pussy from behind was worthy of being sent to the afterlife. Not like Natasha would complain, though.
“Oh- mhmmm, n’more, s’too much,” Natasha slurs, her breasts shaking rhythmically with each time your jerk that massive thing into her, velvet walls squeezing tight around your pulsing cock. Her eyes are threatening to roll back, drool already spilling from the sides of her lips, arousal already leaking from her thighs and on to the bed.
You don’t seem to give a damn about the messiness of it, though, and that could perhaps be linked to the scientific nature of more barbaric animals. But Natasha could ponder over animal studies at a later point in time, for now she was being treated like a fuckdoll, and it was midblowingly gratifying.
“All– the way,” you grunt, trying to shove the entirety of your huge cock into Natasha’s pussy, clearly displeased by the fact that you were struggling to be sealed inside the redhead completely and inescapably. 
It shouldn’t have been a problem because she was already so wet, so pliant, so perfect for the taking. You’d make do with what you had, though.
“It’s too big,” Natasha had whined earlier, gasping as your tip stretched her opening out, the biggest thing she’d ever taken in her life. Her grasp on the headboard tightened as you slid in with a cruel impatience, big hands digging into the soft flesh of her ass.
“I’ll… make it fit,” you reply, somewhat slowly, your speech clearly deterred by your transformation into part-animal. The results of it are undeniably effective, nonetheless, the cockiness of your brash words making arousal pool in Natasha’s hips.
You’ve reached a sweet spot of Natasha’s, and her walls clench around your big cock tightly, mewling as you push its head against her sponginess. 
“Right there, please, please, plea-” Natasha is cut off by one of her own moans when you jerk inside her, spurred on by the sheer tightness she’s providing you. 
When you lean down to entrap Natasha in a breeding press, your bigger body engulfing her smaller one, slick and sweat converging in an unholy sacrament, it’s all over for her.
Going weak in the knees, Natasha moans as her arms give out and her front flops into the bed. The results of this lie in the fact that her back becomes beautifully arched, her ass rising towards the ceiling; your wolfish eyes drink the sight in with a lick of your lips, cock twitching at the prospect of all the new angles you’d be able to reach.
An animalistic prowess takes mighty hold over your sentience, triggering a feral craze to wash over your werewolf form, and it takes mere seconds before you ram your cock back inside Natasha’s wrecked cunt with undying fervour.
The warbled sounds the girl lets out beneath goes unheard, muffled by the pillow, but the sheer slickness of her pretty pussy gives a certain confirmation that she was enjoying it as much as you did. 
Not that your werewolf would care much, anyways: What it was chasing was pleasure, seeking relief in the completely sexual sense, a carnal desire to take and to breed and to claim. 
You push yourself in hilt-deep inside Natasha, fully lodged in, skin against skin.
Instinctively, your hands fly to Natasha’s belly. You can feel your cock bulge there, spreading her out, filling her up.
The next series of your thrusts cause Natasha to make noises she’s never made before, her body moving like clay under your touch. 
You pull out and make her sob, then thrust all the way back in with an unbridled strength that leaves Natasha breathless. Then again, and again, until she cums helplessly around your cock, pulsing and throbbing and alight with nerves.
This is not the side of you Natasha’s grown to know and love. There are no gentle smiles, no soft hugs and whispered words of admiration. It’s completely animalistic, entirely pleasure-chasing, undeniably one-sided.
You’re thrusting into her like she’s your personal fuckdoll, bringing her to high after high, but you don’t even seem to register that fact. You’re using her for your pleasure, and it should be wrong, but…
“More! More, please, please, need another,” Natasha sobs into the pillow, every fibre of her body screaming at her to stop but her brain unable to put it into action. She hardly registers what she’s saying, only begging pathetically and dripping endlessly.
“Inside,” you growl, right next to her ear, sharp teeth grazing her earlobe. Natasha babbles her acknowledgement, even more turned on at the prospect of being filled, fuck it, and the orgasm that crashes over the both of you is heaven-like.
Natasha’s scream of your name reverberates for miles to come.
With that, you’re cumming, finally, and the seed that spills out from you is endless. Natasha drools into the pillow as you unload your cum inside her, gripping fistfuls of her ass pressed flush against your hips. 
“Mine,” you hear yourself say. The helplessly, pathetically aroused tone of your voice nearly makes Natasha weep again — she’s rendered a damn werewolf near speechless.
Streams of white fluid spray onto Natasha’s back once you’re done with her cunt. You manhandle her around to face the front, to find her pretty eyes rolled to the back of her head, drool coating her lips.
Your werewolf heaves as you watch as your seed overflows from her pretty pussy and on to her thick thighs. A perfect creampie.
Your werewolf, however, has different plans, feeling your cock stiffen again at the sight of her ruined pussy. 
-----
The next morning, you wake up with a throbbing feeling between your legs.
Shit. Was it my transformation?
You leap out of bed, yanking the covers off—
To reveal a very naked Natasha Romanoff, your best friend and your roommate.
She awakes with a start, blinking at the light, and then wincing as if her body was aching all over.
“.......Nat?” you ask hesitantly, eyes trailing over her marked thighs and tits. “What happened last night?”
“Okay. Don’t panic, but you’re fathering my children.”
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finally catching up on fics!! i did spend significantly longer on this fic, so it would be highly appreciated if you could reblog
kinktober masterlist || main masterlist
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