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#Hurt her fucking brother he's in the bad books she mad at him
yovrnewromantic · 3 months
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THE LINE—
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pairings: steve harrington x henderson!reader
1 — part 2 coming soon…
words: 3.6k
Summary: You realize the line between love and hate is very thin as you babysit and monster hunt alongside Steve Harrington.
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Leaning pathetically against your locker, you banged your head against the metal, tugging on the end of your cheerleading skirt that got caught in the door when you slammed it shut. It’s your fault really, you were so happy to get it open for once. Of course, it had to be too good to be true.
“Need some help with that?”
Your lips swerved into a smile at the familiar voice, leaning away from your locker to look at one of your favorite girls.
“Yes, Nancy. Please!” you pleaded, laughing as the girl stepped forward, easily opening your locker door, not even needing to ask the combination from the amount of times she’s had to open it.
Nancy Wheeler smiled smugly when your locker opened, releasing you and your skirt.
Nancy had been one of your best friends since you moved to Hawkins along with Chrissy Cunningham and Heather Holloway. At twelve years old, you were anxious, but to your surprise, extremely charismatic. You found friends like wildflowers, something you loved, but Nancy was one of the best. She was like a rose, beautiful and smart, something that drew you to her in the first place.
“My savior! How could I ever repay you?” you joked, mocking a princess before laughing at your own joke, tugging your books tighter to your hip.
Nancy grimaced. “Well,” she started, and your brows furrowed, making you feel uneasy, “Firstly, by not being too mad…”
Nancy shoved a note in your face. You squinted reading the words that alert you that King fucking Steve was waiting for your best friend in the bathroom, wanting to make out. Gross.
“Ew,” you stated, playful smile turning into a pout. Your shoulders slumped, concern kicking in rather than disgust. “Harrington? Really, Nance? You could do so, so much better.”
To you, Steve Harrington was the worst person at Hawkins high. A real player who had absolutely no consideration for anyone’s feeling but his own and his stupid little posse. Generally a piece of shit.
“You owe me,” she mutters, shrugging her shoulder to try to rid her mind of what you were implying, what she had already been anxious about.
“I just think it’s a bad idea,” you say softly, trying not to hurt the poor girls feelings, but really you were just trying to help.
“And why’s that?” she asks, on the defensive.
You shake your head, holding yourself back from rolling your eyes. “He’s a bad idea,” you state simply. “He treats girls like shit and you know better to accept that.”
“You don’t know him.”
“I know that he dumped Charlotte after he had sex with her,” you offered, looking at her with a raised brow. Nancy rolls her eyes.
“Well, that’s Charlotte. And I’m going to see him,” she announces, a little like she’s singing.
Sighing disappointedly, the bell rings in your ears. Great, you’re late.
You give Nancy a look already walking backwards towards your first period. “Make good decisions. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”
“You wouldn’t go out with him the first place!” she calls back, looking at you with a playful expression.
“Exactly.” You smile, finally turning around and heading to your class. When you fully turn, your smile disappears.
Something about Steve makes you anxious, fills your body with unease whenever you two make eye contact when your both at your lockers. You hate the way he smiles smugly at you. And you hate that he’s going after another one of your friends, the fear of her getting hurt makes your stomach ache.
This time, if he hurts her, you hurt him.
And that’s exactly what happened.
You were on your evening walk, frowning at the missing poster you see of Will Byers, your little brother’s best friend and Johnathan Byers, one of your best friends, brother. It’s a saddening sight, especially since the young boy’s funeral. Absolutely heartbreaking.
Frustration is throbbing through your body. You feel helpless, unable to find the boy despite having helped put up posters and searched through the woods countlessly.
You were also angry with yourself for allowing your brother out of the house when you heard the news, letting him and his friends set out in search for him themselves because your heart ached looking into your brother’s teary eyes as he begged you not to tell mom that you caught him sneaking out.
It was stupid, that you told him to keep his walking on him, stay with his friends, and to stay safe or you’d fucking kill him. You’re a shitty sister.
You were an idiot. An idiot people pleaser who never knew when to say no to her friends and family. It was stupid that when your empathetic heart feels their pain you resort to the worse stress reliever, and contradictory to your guilty conscience, violence.
“Harrington, you better get your ass down from that ladder right now!”
You saw him from a mile away, the words spray painted on the movie theatre that you would always take your brother and his friends. The only thing you could make out of it was that Steve fucking Harrington was caught defaminating one of your best friend’s names while vandalizing the cinema.
Steve’s eyes went wide at the sight of you, the beautiful girl who ignored and criticized his every move. His ex-girlfriends best friend. His heart raced at your angry expression. His cheeks probably got a little red too.
“Henderson, what the hell are you doing here?” he asked, sponge pausing its movement to look down at you. Steve had completely forgotten what it looked like had happened, oblivious to everything else around him, his entire focus on you. His fake innocence only made you angrier.
Ignoring his question, you fumed, “Get your ass down or I’m pushing you off this damn ladder!”
Steve’s eyes widened as he muttered curses under his breath, quickly climbing down from the ladder. You pretended that seeing his face bloody and bruised didn’t make your stomach ache.
“Jesus, what your pro—,” You shoved him, and he stumbled back, arms stretched out as his back hits the ladder, “blem!”
“You wrote this? You called Nancy a slut?!”
You pushed him again, and he stumbled again, still looking at you like you’re crazy. He caught your wrists when you went to push him again.
Your hands were held at his chest, pulling you into his chest despite how you try to plant your feet, to stay away from him. Steve still has an bizzare look on his face as he looks down at you, cheeks pink and he’s slightly out of breathe from how he scrambled to grab your wrists.  Steve rapidly shakes his head, blurting, “What? No! No, I didn’t!”
You let out a scoff, nodding sarcastically as if you believed him. “So… you just cleaning it up? Bullshit,” you spit, and Steve looks almost hurt by your insinuation.
“Yes! “ He announced, running a hand through his hair when you tugged your wrists free. “I didn’t write this!”
Crossing your arms over your chest, you looked at him accusingly, like he was stupid. “Then who did, Harrington?”
“Tommy.”
“Oh, you’re best friend!” you exclaimed, “That totally makes so much of a difference.”
“No, Henderson, — I.” He groaned. He glanced around, breathing out of his mouth before he pinched his nose. “I should’ve stopped him, I know, but I’m cleaning this up now. I’m trying to fix it.”
“Because you got caught?”
“No! I just—,” he shook his head. “I’m not… friends with those assholes anymore. I just wanna help.”
Really? you thought to yourself. Your nose scrunched as you scanned him up and down for a second with repulsion. He’s not friends with Tommy and Carol anymore? That’s hard to believe.
Your interrogation seemed never ended, and you still had the urge to punch him in the face despite the cuts and bruises that stand prominent on his handsome face. You wet your lips, ignoring your natural concern and continuing. “Help? Help what?”
“I wanna apologize,” he said. “To Nance.”
“Really?” you deadpanned.  Steve arms waved wildly before he poked to fingers into his forehead, closing his eyes.
“Yes, I’m sorry. Is it that hard to believe?”
“Yeah, it is, King Steve,” you scoffed, before you let your thoughts slip into your words. You switch your footing, voice quieting ever so slightly when you ask, “What happened to your face?”
He paused.
“Byers,” Steve replied embarrassed, not even looking at you as your eyes widen.
“Really?” You sound surprised, and you are. The boy who’s been the nicest to you, one of your best friends ever since you’d gotten to town. Your babysitting buddy. The boy who’s brother was missing.
“Johnathan did that?” You ask. When he nods, you hum. “You deserved it.”
“I know.”
Humming, you look at Steve for a second, checking out his bloodied face and red knuckles. Next to his foot is the sponge he was using, it’s turning red and it looks like it’s decomposing from overuse. It makes you clear your throat when you catch his eyes again.
Quietly, almost whispering, you ask, “Do you love her?” You gulp, specifying, “Nancy?”
He sighed, and he looked at you for a good minute, clearly contemplating. Truth be told, he didn’t know. She was… different from his other girlfriend.
Steve would be lying to himself if he said that he didn’t like you. He knew he did, since last year and you walked in wearing a pretty little sundress and gave him attitude when he offered to be your prince charming and open your locker. Maybe he liked Nancy a lot, but he didn’t know if you could love someone and stare at their best friend when their back was turned.
He swallowed, shrugging. “I don’t know.”
You don’t like him. You don’t like him. You don’t like him.
Steve’s word make you nod to yourself, ignoring the relief you feel that he’s not in love with her for Nancy’s sake. Clearly, Steve was a shitty teenage boy, and even worse boyfriend, but you believed in change.
“You really want to make things right?” you question, still trying to keep your guard up despite how you feel them crashing down around you. Goddammit, you hate Steve Harrington.
“Yes,” he groaned, meaningfully.
In your head, you were screaming. Blood curdling, a homicide victim type of screaming, and it’s so loud, so so freaking loud that you couldn’t hear your own thoughts. Maybe, that’s why you make a dumb decision.
You shrug, already turning around to start walking. “Okay, then. Let’s go.”
“Wait, what? Where?”
“To go see Nancy,” you scoffed, as if it was common knowledge. Impatiently, you said, “Come on, I don’t want to be seen with you.”
You trudged forward, once white sneakers thumping against the sidewalk. Behind you, you can hear Steve jog forward, eager to catch up with you.
It doesn’t take long, but the moment he’s beside you, words spill from his lips, quickly. “I— I have my car.”
Pausing in your step, you begrudgingly looked at Steve, quite relieved that you don’t have to walk all the way to Jonathan’s house. “Okay. Where?”
“Over here,” Steve says, almost out of breath as he points to his car. You head towards it without a second thought, harshly pulling on his passenger car door and glaring at him when it doesn’t open.
Steve looks at you strangely, kinda of afraid of you, and he puts his key in before opening the door for you. You don’t look at him, not even when he gets inside the driver seat and starts the car, too busy staring out the window.
“Do you, um, want any music?” Steve stutters, looking at you hesitantly. You roll your eyes.
“You not talking is enough for me,” you smile, sarcastically.
“Oh,” Steve deadpans, biting his lips at he turns away from you, ready to drive.
Great, now you feel bad. You offer, “What do you have?”
“Yeah— yeah, I have Beat It, some AC/DC, Uptown Girl—
“Uptown Girl, please,” you cut him off.  Your casual manners make Steve blush. You don’t even notice that you said it, and it reminds Steve how good you are. You were solid good.
A good girl.
A nice girl.
And one who wants nothing to do with him.
Go figure.
Steve realizes how fucked up his mind is as his knuckles turn white on the stirring wheel. He starts to drive, listening to you hum while starring out the window, sometimes cutting yourself off to tell him directions to Jonathan’s house.
When he asked why there, you said that he had to apologize to Jonathan first. He listens to you for reasons he could not comprehend, because he found himself trusting you despite how much you must hate because he knows you.
In the hallways, he’d watched you tell freshmen directions, laugh on your way to class, help kids who would drop things. You’d barely notice the boys that trailed after you that you thought were only friends, and he’d watch you scold them whenever they were mean to some freak, or nerd, or geek, in the halls.
You were nice. The nicest girl at that damn school, and unbeknownst to you, The Queen Of Hawkins High.
He can’t keep his eyes off you, and he’s never felt guiltier. He let his friend call his girlfriend a slut while he was yearning to kiss her best friend on the way to apologize to her. There was something wrong with him. Steve shook his head, letting his eyes part from you and focus on the road.
The drive was slow, but the moment the car parked in the Byers’ driveway, you were quick to usher Steve out.
“Go,” you wave.
“What?” Steve’s heart races. “Right— right now?”
“When else?” you blink.
“Shouldn’t we rehearse something?”
You sigh, holding back a much needed eye roll. A fake smile props on your lips. “‘Jonathan, I’m sorry for fighting you in the middle of the street. That one’s on me,’” you say. “‘Oh, and I feel bad for smashing your camera to little bits. How about I buy you a new one with my daddy’s money?’” You drop your smile. “That good?”
“The camera wasn’t my fault,” he justified.
 “I know, I was there. Still, that doesn’t make what you did right, so get out of the car and apologize,” you punctuated.
Steve mouth gaped. Then, he begrudgingly unbuckles his seat belt and grumbles under his breath, stepping out the vehicle. He slams the car door shut.
You snorted a laugh, sinking into Steve’s comfy car seats.
From where your sat, you have a clear viewing of the show. You’re not sure whether or not Jonathan will forgive him. Apart of you hopes he doesn’t. You wouldn’t be surprised if he did.
What did surprise you was watching Steve, under the warm yellow glow from the Byers house lights, pound on the door and then eventually force his way in.
Hastily, you trailed after him, leaves crunching under your quick feet.
“Steve!” you called once in the door way. “This wasn’t what we talked about…”
The words died in your throat as your eyes scattered across the room, the sight of Jonathan, a shit ton of weapons his living room table and Nancy with a gun pointed at Steve’s face had you had you bewildered.
“You two need to leave now!” Jonathan said, but you were more focused on Nancy’s count down, gun still pointed at Steve.
Before you could think, you were shoving yourself in between Steve, Jonathan, and the gun, hand raised in defense. The mass of Christmas lights around you flickered briskly with your final shout, “What is going on?”
Few words between Nancy and Jonathan end with Steve Harrington, grabbing your wrist and dragging you down the hall into a bedroom as a venus-flytrap looking bear rips apart the ceiling.
“What the hell was that,” Steve yelled along with a variety of curses.
“Shut up!” Nancy and Jonathan shouted, synchronized.
You and Steve shared a feared look.
Pounds and gurgles erupt from the other side of the door until they suddenly stopped. In the silence, Nancy and Jonathan exit the room, Steve and you right behind them.
“Are you going to tell us what that was?” you rasped desperately.
Nancy’s reply was short. “A demogorgon.”
You recognized that name. “Like—,” you brows pinched together. “From DnD?”
“That’s what the boys said.”
“The boys,” you repeated. “Like Dustin, Lucas, and Mike? They know about this?”
“Look, Y/N, I’m sorry but we don’t have time for the questions. It’s going to come back, and you two,” she gestures to you and Steve, “need to leave. Right now.”
Breathing heavy, and with the shake of your head, you said, “No.”
“Yes, go,” Nancy said, stepping closer. You were the same height, she couldn’t intimidate you, not even with a gun in her hand. You weren’t going to leave, especially because of the newfound fear of that thing going after your brother.
“Y/N,” Steve tried, eager for the door.
“No, you go,” you said to Steve then turned to Nancy, “I’m staying so either let me help kill it or I’ll stand here and be bait.”
“Fine,” Nancy said.
Jonathan threw you a lighter. “Throw this into the carpet when it’s here.”
Steve felt pathetic watching the three of you. He didn’t want to leave and be a coward, but he didn’t want to die either. One thought over powered the other and he sprinted to his car, but seeing rapid flickering lights, he forced himself back inside.
After swinging a crowbar at the demogorgon and watching it swallow it whole, you were sure you were going to die. You fell back, squeaking in despair as you did so. The demogorgon’s mouth widen, and you may have gotten a little teary eyed at the sight of Jonathan and Nancy on the floor, looking helpless as well.
But to your shock, Steve Harrington jumped in front of you, swinging a bat like he hadn’t quit baseball in seventh grade.
What happened next was blur, but you remember Steve Harrington forcing you to your feet and the sight of a demogorgon enveloped in flames.
With shallow breaths, you sat on the wooden porch in front of the Byers’ house, illuminated by a singular warm lantern, recollecting the previous events. Mind racing, you hardly notice the body next to yours.
Well, until, and hand landed on your shoulder. It’s large, much bigger than your own. Your eyes traced the arm up to its owner, seeing a bloody, concerned face staring back at you.
“You okay?” Steve asked, and your heart swelled the slightest bit at his worry. He had just almost killed himself and he was worried about you.
Your eyebrows twitched, the undying desire to hate him still present. “Yeah,” you choked, “I’m fine.”
Steve nodded. He retracted the hand off your shoulder slowly, which you were grateful for. Nancy and Johnathan’s dull chatter filled the void, the four of you too nerved to fully close the front door.
Clearing your throat, you said, not looking at him. “Thank you for — um — saving my life.”
When Steve spoke, you turned to him. “Anybody would’ve done the same.”
“No they wouldn’t have,” you said, entire body angling towards him. You kept your hands in your lap, tediously explaining, “They would’ve ran for the hills, like you should’ve, but you didn’t. So thanks. I owe you one.”
“Don’t mention it,” he griped, but you shook your head with a scoff, readjusting yourself to look straight forward. You went silent again. Not far from you, you can hear the engine of a car, smell the toxic carbon monoxide polluting the air.
Steve Harrington saved your life. King Steve Harrington saved your life.
Laughing to yourself, you eyed Steve carefully. “I never would’ve taken you for a hero, Harrington.”
“Guess you were wrong,” Steve chuckled. His eyes shone particularly bright in the moonlight.
“Mhm,” you hummed, looking to your lap, “maybe about a lot of things too.”
You hadn’t known why you said that. Steve’s lips parted at your words, a dumbfounded look forming on his face.
“Y/N!”
Immediately, your head whipped to the noise. Your eyes widened with recognition to the voice. “Dustin!” you shouted, voice echoing off the trees in question.
A car pulled up, and in the back windows you could see three smiling faces in the window.
Smiling. They’re okay, you told yourself. And free to yell.
“You boys are so lucky.” The words came out forced, a quiver in your voice at the pure relief you feel, rushing to the boys off the porch and watching the three of them exit the car safely. “You could’ve gotten yourselves killed,” you snapped. “Why didn’t you told me?”
Only after you spoke did you notice their red rimmed eyes.
Your lips twitched into a frown. Swallowing back your own tears, you pulled Dustin, Lucas, and Mike into a hug. “I’m so glad you all are okay.”
Vaguely, blue and red flashing lights pull up onto the driveway of the Byers’ house. Police step out their car with questioning looks. It’s not long before one offers to take you and your brother home.
Glancing behind you, Steve Harrington’s eyes found yours swiftly, as if they had been trained to you this entire time. Hesitantly, you raised your hand, not very high, but just visibly for him to see. You gave Steve a small wave.
He smiled at you, and you were sure that it hurt.
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been meaning to write a steve fic for a while. he’s so boyfriend and i’m a huge hopelessly pining/enemies to lovers girly
not my best, probably will rewrite in the future
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ashwhowrites · 1 year
Note
eddie x cheerleader (strangers 2 lovers)
she had an awful fight with her deadbeat dad when she got out of work at the diner he told her he would try to take dustin away from her and her mom and when she refuses he slashes her face with a beer bottle 3 times ,
shes not close with the other cheerleaders so shes having a bad day
she chooses to sit with hellfire cuz dustin is her brother
eddie gets mad cuz he thinks its a joke to humiliate them so he tells her to go away
she listens but shes crying even more
she apologizes to everyone including dustin when she leaves & leaves him half her sandwich
dustin mike and lucas all say something mean to eddie and they follow u
they find u sitting in ur car and they join u
u and the boys avoid eddie for the rest of the day and he ultimately feels horrible when he overhears u crying to dustin , lucas and mike about why ur upset & then he hears u say he made it worse
he tries to talk to dustin but dustins crying too cuz we’re his best friend and he hates his dad he would never wanna leave Y/N and mike and lucas tell eddie he needs to figure it out how to apologize on his own so he does and u guys get close and both fall in love eventually
⚠️mentions of abuse- no detailed descriptions of the action.
⚠️Eddie is an asshole but he slowly figures it out
Thank you sm for your patience as I worked to get this out💕
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Y/N woke up sore with puffy eyes. Her reflection wasn't ever a pretty girl anymore. It was a girl who was abused, hurt, and drained. She gently cleaned the three new marks on her face. Her skin slashed open from her dad. She felt tears falling down her face as she was reminded of last night. Him waiting for her to finish work, threatening to take away Dustin from her. She'd never let that happen. She refused to let her dad ever see Dustin. She'd take the abuse, but she will never let Dustin be the target.
"are you sure you're okay?" Dustin asked from behind her. Sadness in his eyes as he watched his sister place band aid patches on her cheek.
"yes, don't worry about me dusty" she said, she gave the best smile she could. The bandage stopped her from making a real one.
Dustin knew not to try to fight with her. Nodding as he kissed her hurt cheek, heading to get ready for school.
She felt everyone staring at her cheek and she hated it. Luckily everyone in this school was an asshole. None caring to ask if she was okay or what happened. That included her cheerleading team. A group of girls she was with constantly but didn't have a real single friend on it.
She didn't want to deal with them so she headed to where she knows Dustin's table is. Seeing only Mike was seated, she took the spot across from him.
"hey Y/N, you okay?" Mike asked gently. Being closest to Dustin, he knew all about Y/N's relationship with her father.
"not today Mike" she said as gently as she could. Opening her lunch box, dividing her sandwich in half and digging out Dustin's half of the brownie.
She ate silently as the table filled up. Dustin still wasn't arriving yet, so she left his parts of lunch near her lunchbox.
"and who the fuck are you?"
She looked up to see a taller and much older boy, compared to the rest of the table. He had long hair and deep brown eyes. She's definitely seen him with Dustin, but couldn't recall his name
Before she could even answer, he spoke again.
"I don't know what game your little cheerleader ass is playing. But we don't allow stuck up assholes to sit at our table" he barked out, very harshly.
So harsh that she felt like her dad was standing across from her.
"Eddie stop" Mike said harshly as he could see Y/N's eyes watering.
"Mike shut up. I'm handling this" Eddie, apparently, said.
His brown eyes, glaring daggers at her softening slightly when he noticed her bandaged cheek but moved on. Figuring it was some cheerleading accident. She sat quietly letting him continue his rant.
Letting him call her every name in the book. A bitch, a princess, stuck up, rich, and shit she's never heard of.
She sat there and silently cried. Head down as she tried to take deep breaths. Reminding herself this was a random boy, it wasn't her dad and he wasn't going to hurt her.
She panicked when she felt a hand grab her shoulder. Flinching as she flew out of her seat.
Eddie quickly withdrew his hand as she practically sprung out of the seat. His eyes softened once again when he saw tears working down her face.
"Y/N, what's wrong?" Dustin quickly dropped his tray on the table and walked closer to her.
She shook her head and wiped her tears.
"nothing dusty. See you at home" she said quickly, handing him the sandwich and brownie. Racing as fast as she could out of that cafeteria.
~~
"dusty?home? Who is that?" Eddie asked
"that's my sister. What the fuck did you do?" Dustin snapped, Lucas walked up confused at all the tension.
"what's going on?" He asked
"Eddie just totally freaks out on Y/N for no goddamn reason" Mike scoffed. Standing up as he grabbed his backpack.
"really Eddie. What did she do to you?" Lucas added in
"what you say to her?" Dustin said filled with anger. He didn't take that Eddie could easily kick his ass. He can't protect his sister from their dad, but he can protect her from Eddie.
"I didn't know she was your sister! I saw a cheerleader sitting here and I just got pissed" Eddie tried to explain. But seeing all three boys staring at him with the most pissed off look he's ever seen, he had a good feeling he fucked up.
"so you lashed out on her totally unprovoked? I mean did she even say anything to you?" Dustin argue.
"well no...she just kinda sat there and before I knew it she was crying. I didn't think she'd be so upset. Usually the jocks are cold-hearted assholes." Eddie tried to defend his stance
"SHE'S NOT LIKE THEM!" Dustin screamed.
"she only joined that stupid team to get a scholarship so she can leave this hellhole of what she's forced to call home. Fuck you Eddie" Dustin snapped as he grabbed his backpack. Marching straight to the parking lot.
"dude you know nothing about her. If you did, you'd feel like the biggest ass right now" Mike sighed, following behind Dustin.
"well I already feel like an ass" Eddie sighed
"that's a shame. She was excited that Dustin found a new friend. After this, I don't think he's going to ever want to see you again" Lucas added, following behind Mike.
Eddie decided to follow the group. At least he could apologize for being an asshole. He found all of them standing in a circle against her car.
Eddie gave them their space but waited to talk to her. With being so close he could easily hear their conversation.
~~
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt your guys' lunch. Go eat, I'm fine" Y/N said as she wiped her face. Carefully not to touch her bandage.
"you didn't. Let's take deep breaths and talk a little bit. I know you don't want to talk about last night but may-"
"Dustin! I told you last night never happened and we don't speak about it." She snapped
"you can't let dad abuse you like this" Dustin said softly as he touched his sister's cheek.
Mike held her hand softly and Lucas rubbed her back.
~~
Eddie felt a very bad feeling in his gut.
He's been abused, he knows what it felt like. He didn't ever think twice about a girl being on the cheerleading team would struggle with the same shit he has. Eddie wanted to be better than the jocks but he proved he was just like them. Judging someone based on how others perceived them.
"I don't know what happened. But the way he was calling me names made me think of dad. And I shut down. But then he touched me and my brain was screaming at me to prepare for another blow."
Eddie could feel his own tears in the back of his eyes.
Eddie can't believe he allowed himself to be something he hated.
He was abused, he should have noticed the signs. He should have stopped talking the second she got quiet and didn't say a word.
If it was a joke, like he thought. She wouldn't have sat there and taken every word.
He was an idiot.
He took a deep breath and wiped his eyes. Putting his hands in his jeans as he walked towards the group. All seated in the car, except for Dustin.
"hey Dustin can I talk to her?" Eddie asked softly.
He watched as her eyes snapped to him through the windshield. He wanted to offer her a small smile but his heart shattered at the fear that rested as she quickly looked away
"hell to the fucking no. Leave her and us alone. We won't be at hellfire tonight" Dustin snapped as he slammed the car door.
Eddie watched as she drove out of the parking lot.
~~
Dustin stook to his word. Not a single one of them showed up to hellfire. And Eddie wasn't even upset he had to cancel the campaign. He was more upset with the fact he put himself in a position that he wasn't sure he could get out of.
~~
A few days past and the three little sheep, and Dustin's sister hasn't looked in his direction. They all sat at a table in the back corner, smiling and laughing.
Eddie noticed her cheek was no longer banged. Small marks left in her cheek but she smiled like she wasn't bothered.
Eddie thought she was gorgeous. He thought she was gorgeous when he first saw her at the table but watching as she laughed so hard, she had to clench her stomach. He realized how beautiful she really was.
She didn't deserve what he said to her and she deserved a real apology.
~~
Y/N was searching through her car when she heard someone knock on her window. She jumped and quickly looked to see Eddie standing there.
She rolled down her window
"can I talk to you?" Eddie asked as he peaked his head in
"um I guess" she said quietly.
Eddie hated how closed off her body was. She didn't feel safe near him and he gave a good reason for that.
"I wanted to say I'm really fucking sorry. I was completely wrong. I should have never spoken to you like that. I should have never put a hand on you. You didn't deserve any of that"
She nodded with a small smile. Showing that she appreciated his words.
"I also overheard you talking to Dustin about your dad"
Her body stiffened quickly and Eddie noticed
"it's okay. I actually have been there before" he said softly, pulling out a piece of paper.
"I used to call this number every time my dad got done hitting me. No matter the time, they will pick up. And I added my number at the bottom. In case you need someone who can slightly understand." Eddie smiled as soft as he could.
"thanks Eddie" she said tearfully. Putting the piece of paper in her backpack
~~
She calls Eddie every night, and he always picks up. He listens and listens. He never hangs up first or says he has to go. He devoted all his time into her calls. Speaking of things he buried down to forget. But allowing himself to open it back up for her.
The more she called, the less it was about her dad. She just loved hearing his voice. It made her feel giddy and excited. She was terrified the first time she called without wanting to talk about her dad. Afraid he'd hang up because that wasn't the reason he gave his number out.
"hey Eddie. I'm actually doing good tonight but I still wanted to talk to you. Maybe about happy things? I know it's stupid and that's not why you gave me your number but i-"
"shh it's okay. I gave you my number because I wanted to. And I'll gladly sit here and listen to you talk about anything you want gorgeous. Hit me with it"
After that call, she screamed into her pillow and kicked her feet. Dustin teased her for it for weeks. Making kissy faces at the lunch table when Eddie looked away.
"OW!" Dustin screamed as she kicked his leg under the table.
Eddie turned to the noise, "you good Henderson?" He asked as he looked at Dustin concerned
"totally" Dustin huffed out as he rubbed his leg.
Then she wanted more. She wanted more than phone calls
"random question but would you maybe want to go eat sometime? Talk in person instead?" Her body was shaking with anxiety. Preparing for a no
"only agreeing if this means I get to finally take you on a date"
And after that, there were many more dates planned.
Tags!
@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @slightlyvicked @micheledawn1975@ago-godance@magnificantmermaid @tlclick73@hargrovesswifee
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crushedsweets · 8 months
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what is jack and toby's relationship like?
oohh ive covered this a few times. i love them.
this post i did on their relationship basically sums it up !! ill do more under the cut
jack helps the proxies so that slenderman lets him stay in the forest as refuge. he doesn't like toby at first, seeing him as too violent, too aggressive, viewing himself even in his monstrous form as more human than toby - which is true, in a sense . toby kills for slenderman. he wouldn't be killing people if not for that, BUT he absolutely finds release in it - he makes a game out of it, he detaches himself from the victims and reflects all he wanted to do to his dad onto them. sometimes he catches himself saying exact phrases his dad screamed back onto them. bro probably called his victims 'npcs' at some point LOLLLL
and jack RARELY EVER does his own killing. he gets a lot of his bodies as a dark web human remains disposer(cuz he gets paid for it too), or from jeff. and it took a while for him to be able to stomach the shit he has to do to survive, so it's rough for him.
jack hates it, jack hates what toby does, but he can see so much in toby that goes beyond that and it fucking sucks and it hurts and jacks prob cried FOR toby before. not in front of him, but anytime jacks confronting his own mortality and humanity, toby is one of the first people that comes to mind each time, and he wants to throw up thinking about it. only nina can rival how emotional jack is LOL
it's kinda weird for toby the way jack treats him - sometimes he gets mad and accuses him of treating toby like some research paper in a book, because he knew jack had a decently privileged upbringing in comparison to himself, and hates the supiroirty complex. jack asks too many questions and is always just trying to grasp whats going on in tobys brain and its fucking infuritating for toby.
but jacks just always fucking there. jack is easily the most present person, always easy to find, usually calm. tim/brian are rarely around, kate is unsettling and hiding away half the time, jeffs a dick, bens unreliable, ninas in love with jeff and has a life seperate from the creeps. even natalie has long periods of time where she just cannot get herself to confront toby because she has her own issues and is struggling to even maintain her job as a waitress. she can't be there half the time.
but jacks never gone. jack rarely tells him to get the fuck out. jacks so welcoming, even if he's an annoying uptight prick who thinks he's better than everyone - and half the time, toby knows jack is. he knows jacks better than everyone else around him and it sucks fucking ASSSSSS being around someone like him, but its also something toby needs really bad
after a year or so of knowing toby jack would be able to comfortably say he loves him, whether its as a friend or a brother or whatever the fuck sort of fucked up shit is going on in these freaks heads . again, jack is INCREDIBLY FUCKING HUMAN hes emotional he loves so hard he hates himself he wants people he wants connection he feels so alone he wants everyone to be there he wants his mom he wants his siblings he wants to read he wants to walk around he wants to cook he wants to breath in fresh air. and toby really does put in some work for that. maybe not correctly, honestly he might fuck it up more often than he gets it right, but who the fuck else is gonna invite jack to go swimming on a random summer night ? how badly he wish he could see tobys face when toby asks to hang out
also this one shot from necroromantics if ur looking for good jack toby content . sorry for stealing tomb. u just get them so much . also sort of in the same vein of this drawing i did ... jack was full of life and empathy and love and joy for so long....... doesn't understand how toby never had any to begin with.
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multi-fandom-friend · 5 months
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🌑Creepypastas Personalities and things they do in my eyes🌑
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🫀 Eyeless Jack is very stoic, not showing much emotion ever. If he has to, for example if he helps to calm down Sally he’ll show concern. But outside of the mansion he never shows emotion. He’s kind when he wants to be, and isn’t completely heartless. If a pasta that he particularly likes is sick than he’ll go out of his way to check on them and grabbing something they need and once his sees that they’re okay he’s gone. If one of the proxies gets hurt in the field? He’s actually throwing a fit that they should be more careful. He’s one of those types of people where he gets mad when someone’s hurt because he couldn’t stop them from it, but he’ll never admit it.
🌲 Slenderman I see as a father figure for everyone. He’s is like a single dad. With the help of two out of his 3 brothers (offenderman is seen as a disgrace to his family’s name and unfit to be around children, especially Sally) He lets the kids (the grown adults that most of them are) rant if they want and tries to have fun with them. He understands that almost all of them didn’t have good childhoods and he feels bad. That’s why he keeps taking them in, having them promise to work for him. Once they say yes, he takes them in and the mansion grows another room (or tombs as I like to call them) 🎮 Ben is pretty nice. Sure, he’s snarky sometimes but he’s a kid. What do you expect? Plus he stays in his room most of the time or he’s hanging out with Jeff. He sees some of the other proxies as his siblings, but he’ll never admit it. Never in a billion years. He’d rather go swimming. Slender does have to trick him into showering because of how scared of water he is. Don’t ask me how bc I dunno. Personally, I would just spray him with a hose. But I digress
🧸 Sally is the average little girl, but she gets angry easily. I’m not sure where people got the notion that she wouldn’t be an angry restless spirit but that’s their opinion and it’s valid too. I feel like she’s usually nice and kind like everyone says but if she sees offenderman or anyone she deems a threat she can and will throw one of her “fits” where she makes the house rumble and she throws things towards the threat. She’s done it because she saw a spider. 🔪 Jeff is an ass. Period. But he does see the creepypastas as some sort of family. He’ll never admit it either. He makes fun of everyone because that’s how he shows affection. The only person who recognizes that is liu, his brother, who says nothing. Slender tries his best to just leave the kid alone, if he’s behind honest he’s kinda worried about him, but he says nothing. Jeff also is really smart he just never uses his brain so no one knows that.
🐍 liu is shy and quiet. Doesn’t really like talking to many of the proxies so he just keeps to himself. He only ever talks to slenderman and masky really. Sometimes he’ll have a chat with his brother, but he and his brother don’t have a very good relationship. He’s very cuddly when he wants to be and only when he wants to be. He loves a good book. Usually true crime books or something with a good plot. He doesn’t like romance novels because it reminds him too much of who he lost. He tries to be as optimistic as possible, but sometimes it’s hard for him.
🍬 LJ is giddy and goofy, always cracking weird jokes. He has learned over time what everyone’s sense of humor is so he’ll make jokes based off of that. Have dark humor? Dark jokes. Have dad humor? He’ll crack a good dad joke. Deep down he likes making people laugh still, he just doesn’t wanna be laughed at. He’s the one who hangs out with Sally the most when slenderman isn’t around because 1. He has the same childlike wonder and 2. Slenderman thinks he’s funny enough to keep that little ball of energy occupied long enough to not run off into the woods and find some poor hiker and scare the soul outta them.
🪓 Toby is kinda a mix of quiet and a fuck. He likes being nice to some people when he wants and then he’ll be a dick to others. I have a headcanon that he has BPD so that’s why he constantly switches between being nice and acting like you murdered his cat in cold blood. Usually he’s pretty nice and knows how to control it most of the time but it gets the better of him. He is also very good friends with Ben and Jeff, being nicer to Ben and meaner to Jeff. I don’t think he’d hang out with Masky and hoodie too often, but that’s just my opinion.
🚬 Masky’s just plain “I don’t want to talk to you leave me alone.” Never has liked talking never will like it. He has exceptions for certain people like Hoodie and Slenderman. Sometimes he’ll talk to liu because he’s actually one of the more chill proxies and leaves people alone unless they want to talk to him. You could also probably find him smoking outside or sitting outside Slenderman’s office because he feels important when he’s near him. 🍁 Hoodie is the opposite of Masky. Wanna talk? He’s so down. Loves talking about everything and anything. If there’s a mission, though? He stays quiet. Doesn’t talk. He’s laser focused. it’s like he has 2 different personalities.
⚕️ nurse Ann seems like the type that likes taking care of people. She is a nurse after all. She just doesn’t like men very much, considering what happened to her. She trusts most of the proxy boys not to do anything, but if they do then she doesn’t let them near her again. She gives off lesbian vibes and I kinda headcanon that she is dating or best friends with Jane. After missions she’ll patch up the people that need it and I think she’d have her own little infirmary tucked in the corner of the mansion with everything she could possibly need.
🖤 Nina is the perfect example of an extrovert. She’s so hyped up and excited that she gives Sally a run for her money. Contrary to popular belief I think she’d be pretty good friends with Jane. They both got their heart broken by Jeff but Nina continues to try and get him to love her. She likes baking and playing games with all the proxies. Sure she’s seen as annoying but she’s really one of the only extroverted people in the manor.
🕷️ Jane is quiet and kind. She likes to help where she can. I see her as religious to some extent? Not a woman of god per say but a different religion. I feel like she would be pagan and have an altar of some sort to some kind of deity. She is usually in the library reading some sort of book or bringing a book from there to the infirmary to read to Ann.
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A/N: this took me a few hours to write because I had to think and plan the ones I wanted to do. Likes and reposts are highly appreciated!
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shi-daisy · 1 year
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Tamlins character assassination genuinely bothered me, to have his character turn abusive isnt inherently bad but having him get constantly shat on while ryhsand continues to be genuinely vile and horrid to feryre, tamlin just seems more sympathetic the more i pick apart why feyre and rhys suck ASS. sjm does not get to sit there and act like Nesta was evil and awful as she got constantly belittled and shat on for her COPING Mechanisms and that Nesta is the one who has to apologize to the inner circle despite the way ALL of them treated her and expect me not to think she just failed with tamlin as well, she keeps writing characters she wants me to think are bad while not acknowledging that the characters she loves ARE VERY BAD IF NOT MUCH WORSE.
Anon are we lost twins by any chance? Lol kidding, but you've just voiced the exact reason why Feysand (and by extension sjm who wrote them) piss me the fuck off!
Tamlin's story reads like a damn tragedy. Abusive father and brothers, a mom who loved him but couldn't do anything to protect him, he's resigned to not get the court and tried to go unoticed to stay safe then once he finally makes a new friend his family ruin that friend's life, he loses his mother due to the family fued, is forced to be the ruler of a nation when he has no idea how and still pulls through. Then gets hounded by Amrantha and cursed. Has to lose another friend to break the curse. Finally finds true love and even after attempting to protect her she nearly dies. He had to rebuild the court and support his fiance while still suffering from ptsd himself and so he fucks up royally, said fuck up costs him his relationship, his bestie and his court and now he has nothing.
And I'm supposed to cheer for this? I'm supposed to accept this as a fitting end to my favorite character? Nope, not gonna happen. Not when Rhysand can commit multiple war crimes and treat people like shit and Feyre can ruin a court and half of another cuz she mad at Tamlin and wanted to girlboss. (Girl stop acting like an edgy 13 year old, people are dead and you have the intelligence of cabbage head.)
Oh and yes the way they treated Nesta was worse than anything Tamlin ever did yet we're supposed to think they healed her? Tamlin locked Feyre up cuz he was irrationally afraid of her getting hurt. They looked Nesta up cuz she spent 0.000001% of their wealth and calls Rhysand an ass to his face. Guess who I'm gonna side with?!
Sarah is too into Rhysand and so anyhting he and Feyre do is justified but anyone else can go choke. It's the reason I dropped the books after ACOFAS (Tamlin's scene there had me crying and I had to yeet the book away)
Tamlin needs a redemption, but written by anyone other than SJM. She will ruin him like she did Nesta.
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thrawns-babygirl · 11 months
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Finally, my thoughts on Lesser Evil
The memories chapters in this book? Chefs kiss.
Exactly what I want out of the memories chapters in these books. Small insights into Thrawn's life outside being in command of a ship. If Zahn gave me a full novel that was just slice of life I would eat that shit UP.
Thurfian and Zistalmu getting divorced was hilarious, I love those two so much. They are so in love I love them. Little political gremlins.
Some spoilers under the cut
Oh my God, I knew it was coming, but Thrass' death chapter literally killed me. Like, Zahn you can't rip my heart out like that. Thrawn needs his brother man, come on.
The scene at the very end with Thrawn getting exiled hurt until the conversation between Ba'kif and Ar'alani. Like, I knew that it the plan to get him in touch with the Empire, but watching my man get his honour chains removed at the trial hurt so bad after all he's done for the Ascendancy. Like, my man has given EVERYTHING for his people and Thurfian is there rubbing his grubby little hands together thinking he finally bested our Senior Captain Blueberry.
Speaking of shit that hurt. The scene with Borika. Man. "I dont remember him" bruh. And the fact that Thrawn never got to meet her before he was exiled killed me.
Speaking of shit that killed me.
Thrawn sitting at the bistro, alone, thinking of Thrass during his last night on Csilla. Tim you monster. That shit hurt me so bad.
The final fight between the Chiss and the Grysk above sunrise was amazing, watching Thrawn command the entire Chiss fleet so effectively was sexy as fuck. Go off king, do your thing.
Roscu pissed me off the entire book, except for the very end, which I know was Zahn's intention with her character so props for good writing. She pissed me off.
Wutroow remains my favourite. I love her so much. The way she finesses Roscu into giving away information by saying Ar'alani was sulking, absolute queen shit. I love her so much.
Oh and the Stybla ceremony where thrawn gets the "odo" suffix on his name was lovely. Its little insights into chiss culture that I live for.
And the reveal that Ba'kif was Stybla before he became supreme general was also a nice touch.
Samakro realising he's actually come to respect Thrawn 🥺🥺 yes, thank you king.
The whole ending was so bitter-sweet. It was by far my favourite of the three. I loved it so much.
I've already read Thrawn (2017) and Thrawn: Alliances and a friend told me to read the Ascendancy trilogy before reading Treason and TBH I think that was amazing advice because now I have such a good background for the Chiss and Ar'alani's character that I didn't have before. So stay tuned for my mad ramblings about Treason in the coming days.
Tl:dr
Best book in the series, Thrass was pure husband material and was taken from us too soon. I now have so many chiss ships and nothing to do with them.
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heyyyitsmegia · 8 months
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Why I Don't Like Belly in "We'll Always Have Summer" Please read. Very informative.
Okay. So. Why do I not like Belly in the third book?
Easy. Because of the way she treated Jeremiah. And. Because of the way she acted toward Conrad while she was with Jere.
Okay. So. We all know about Jeremiah "cheating" (this word is in quotations bc he didn't really cheat). But do we not remember all the dishonest and straight up just not okay things Belly did.
To understand why Belly is a jerk. We need to take it back to when Jere "cheated".
(I will be using quotes from the book).
Quote one: He got down on the floor next to me, his head hanging between his knees. “Belly, it was when we were on that break. When we were broken up.”
Her: Our so-called breakup had lasted all of a week. It wasn’t even a real breakup, not for me. I always assumed we would get back together.
Now let's fast forward to chapter five: (The first six words)... as follows: "When we broke up in April" and let's not forget about this: Before I could answer, before I could say, You’re not stupid or selfish or wasteful, before I could end the fight, Jeremiah said, “Fuck it. I won’t waste your time anymore. Let’s end it now.”
And I said, “Fine.” (hmm. sounds like your broken up to me).
And then there's this: I cried the whole way home. I couldn’t believe that we had broken up. And this: Steven said, “Chill out. The only reason he hasn’t called you is that it’s too expensive to make a call from Mexico. You guys will be back together by next week, guaranteed.” (this means that you would have to be broken up in order to get back together). Belly: Steven was right. We did get back together a week later. (like i said to get back together you would have to be broken up).
Okay. Now let's talk on Belly. And why she's dishonest and a jerk.
Example one. Comes straight from the book. This is Belly on Conrad: Because I really did believe he was coming. If I didn’t, would I have taken extra care with my hair that morning? In the shower, would I have shaved my legs not once but twice, just to be safe? Would I have put on that new dress and worn those heels that made my feet hurt if I truly didn’t believe he was coming? No. Deep down I more than believed it. I knew it.
I'M SORRY BUT WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS ABOUT YOUR FIANCEE'S BROTHER?!? YOUR FREAKING ENGAGED FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!
And then who can forget this?: There was this moment between us then, of us just looking at each other, holding each other’s gaze. My breath quickened. If I leaned forward just a little, we would be kissing. I knew I should move away, but I couldn’t.
Or this: Conrad reached out and wiped my chin with his shirt. It was maybe the most intimate thing anyone had ever done to me. I felt light-headed, unsteady on my feet. I was shaking as I piled peaches into a plastic bag. Just one look, one touch from him, and I was shaking. It was madness. I was marrying his brother.
BUT JEREMIAH IS THE BAD PERSON? I'M SHOOK. I'M IN DISBELIEF!!!
LET ME STOP BEFORE I GET WORKED UP!
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shine-of-aldhani · 2 years
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WARNING, spoilers Ep10 ahead
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I thought something horrendous happened, and then watched the episode and? It? Was? Sad, yes. Uncomfortable to watch? Yup. Realistic and messy and unpleasant depiction of varying degrees of animalistic rage from people suddenly put through the grinder? Absolutely.
Rhaenys: they are coming for you and your children. You should maybe abandon Dragonstone at once.
Rhaenyra: goes into labor right there.
Daemon: checks garrison, organises outlook posts, mentions that they are undermanned and how they should at least attempt to appear strong, sends a dragon skywards in fear enemy dragons might come, thinks to check the loyalty of the Kingsguard. Listens to her cries, all the while doing his stuff. When all is done, comes to Rhaenyra (it's too late). Grieves. Is with her at the funeral. Crowns her.
People panicking left and right: He didn't SuPporT hEr.
No. He didn't. He secured their castle on the very real assumption that they could be attacked any moment. That's a realistic depiction of what would normally happen in such a situation and a realistic depiction of Daemon in particular. He would see securing the castle as way more useful than being emotionally supportive of his wife. Come on.
The council: gathers
Rhaenyra: talks.
Daemon: is literally vibrating in his skin... yet still waiting for her to ask every pertinent question before giving her the answer.
Panicked viewers: He Was UnDerMinIng Her.
No? He was doing his damned best? His best isn't very good, but that is a known fact? I truly loved the first meeting? He was acting like a teacher's pet dying to be questioned and to show how ready he is? Like a hound tearing at the leash? Like she asked about the state of their garrison and he started answering before the question ended, talking at a speed we've never seen from him before? But he waited for her command each time? Like, what did you realistically expect, Daemon being calm and reasonable?
Otto: exists.
Daemon: is mouthy and Dark Sister happy.
Rhaenyra: tell him to stand down.
Daemon: stands down.
People: He WaS UndErmInIng Her.
My sisters in Seven, this man has no self control at the best of times. Here, he's convinced these people killed Viserys. He has hated Otto his entire life. He has just cremated his daughter. His brother's throne has been usurped and he's fully expecting to be attacked at any moment. And Rhaenyra looks at a fucking book page and starts to forget what she'd spent 20 years pursuing and preparing for. It's a fucking miracle Otto is still alive.
Second council: gathers.
Rhaenyra: wants to maybe accept terms.
Daemon: unravels.
OK, I'm with y'all here, this is absolutely bad and the entire scene just was bad per se. Now, the entire episode was leading to him screwing up under pressure, it was a given because it was always going to be too much of an offence from people he hated too much, and not being allowed to act the way he wanted because he's suddenly answerable to the Queen was never going to be without consequence. Rhaenyra said right in the beginning that he'd go mad, and she knew him best. She actually sent Jace after him because she expected Daemon to start the war without her (didn't happen). It's hardly a commentary on their relationship, more of a "multiple brave attempts at bottling the rage were made, but ultimately, in the face of escalating stakes and piling up tragedies, were unsuccessful". That said, the entire scene was kind of badly thought out. I'd sooner believe Daemon would openly defy Rhaenyra's orders than him kinda sorta threaten her but not really and then leave?
Anyway...
Show: makes a point to have Rhaenys scold Corlys for abandoning her, remind him that they're both hurting. Hmmm... Something something parallels something.
Rhaenyra: actually goes on to plan a war? Thank you 14 flames of Valyria, because just accepting the terms and sending her sons to be "wards" (read: prisoners) of her enemies would be a wildly stupid decision. Is shown to be too naive, sadly. Reminding the Baratheons of their oath wasn't the power move she expected it to be.
Daemon: makes himself useful? In the only way he knows how? In the middle of the mess? With everything collapsing and war unfolding? 2/10 you screwed up and aren't out of the doghouse by a long shot but a small attempt was made to shield Rhaenyra from the rest of the council and to just be at her side? OK maybe 2/10 is generous, 1.5/10 is more like it.
TLDR: my expectations of this man were realistic (read: low where violence and high emotional pressure are concerned) and there was always going to be a fuckup from him somewhere. It's the thing about burning - Sometimes It Actually Burns. Daemon and Rhaenyra aren't a lovey dovey couple, they are two fucking dragons that are being caged and threatened with spikes. There will be blood.
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dontcallmeeds · 2 years
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Since i have that one post still getting notes about my queer Nancy Wheeler takes lets breakdown the library scene!!! I know its been done but by a previously identified lesbian (now queer transman as I’ve always been) who grew up in a small town with adhd/asd who is a full blown Robin kinnie (but also understands Nancy pretty gd well)??? HEHEHEHE LETS GO!!!!
And when I say break it DOWN I mean BREAK IT THE FUCK DOWN!!!
When Robin goes with Nancy, Nancy seems to agree with her about the whole “oh you think we NEED you” man shit. But then she’s annoyed with her when they get to the library, we can take that as her also being annoying in the car and being into Steve still. But for the sake of this argument, what if Nancy realized she has a bit of a crush on her in the car. She’s passionate like Nancy, doesn’t matter if it’s in a different way, she’s fucking passionate and strongly opinionated. Like Nancy.
“Did I come off mean or condescending or something?” Robin and me are the same here, I’m horribly honest and I apologize constantly because its not that blunt honesty allistics say that they have, its genuine honesty. But when has Nance HAD THAT?! EVER?! Oh wait……..BARB. Yeah it’s always gonna go back to Barb. Barbara had GENUINE honesty and everyone else has lied to Nancy in some way and she’s also lied to people, so she doesn’t think Robin is seriously being truthful!!! She thinks she is being mean and condescending and its goddamn crushing her.
Okay the basement scene is most telling. Nancy is embarrassed she dragged Robin down there. Yes “nothing new” is fucking annoyed, she’s annoyed at herself. Imagine if Steve had gone with her and been in that scene. Now I love Steve, he’s my favorite character, but that would’ve been such a bad scene. She would’ve internalized her shit because Steve isn’t very book smart (i hate the whole Steve is dumb agenda as his number one fan, but he is smart and useful in OTHER ways). Robin fucking is. She’s goddamn brilliant like Nancy and I will die on that hill.
“I don’t know okay? It’s starting to seem like a big waste of time” dude she’s so pissed off at herself. That’s internal, not Robin annoyance. She’s mad she followed her journalistic instinct from the Wayne conversation and dragged someone else, specially Robin, into her hunch. Even though she ends up being the one who is most important in this path!!!
My FAVORITE piece of this scene is “you’re obviously bored, why don’t you call Steve?” The venom in her voice is not heterosexual. It feels like “why don’t you go call your fucking man” internalized shit because (more Barb shit) SHE LEFT BARB DOWNSTAIRS FOR STEVE!!! Broooooo pls your lesbian is showing, that jealousy is only jealousy I’ve seen in myself and other queer people who like women and are jealous of their fucking boyfriends. That level of jealousy was NOT “thats my ex and you’re dating him”. Her facial expressions are sooo fucking reminiscent of her brother’s here in the Rink-O-Mania scene :)))). Queer sibling shit its fine!!
Robin’s goddamn adhd is what fucks this whole thing up much like me being audhd fucks up many of my flirtationships (I’m not saying Robin isn’t audhd but this fandom is…a lot, mostly on twitter and tiktok but still). She mistakes Nancy’s upset with still having feelings for Steve. And I JUST saw a parallel between Nancy and Mike Wheeler that BLEW MY MIND. Someone said “the facial expressions between the six nuggets fantasy is with you convo and the surfer boy pizza convo look like they were going to hurt the other person’s feelings and then got interrupted”. Yup. Yeah YUP!!! I do not believe for a second Nancy still has Steve feelings. I think her fucking comphet was trying to play her for a fool when he took off his shirt in the lake. And Robin wants to be supportive so she gives Nancy that one look. ROBIN YOU GD IDIOT SHE WANTS YOU BRO!!!!
“You do know me and Steve are totally not a thing right?” “WHAT?!” Oh that speaks for its self Miss Wheeler LMAOOOO. It feels like for a moment Nancy realizes how dumb she’s being, that reaction wasn’t her guarding herself anymore. I think in the back of her mind she knows Robin is a lesbian. You can catch her absolutely feral and entertained smile when they pan to Robin coming down the stairs. Like BRO SHE THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY. Like “of course Steve isn’t with you, dummy, you’re too hot and gay”.
“You’re like one of those unstoppable power couples” NANCY’S EXPRESSION TO THIS SAYS EVERYTHING I NEED TO FUCKING KNOW!!!!!!! I DON’T EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF HERE!!!! SHE WAS SO ANNOYED WITH THAT, SHE DOESN’T THINK SHE BELONGS WITH HIM AND ITS NOT BC OF STEVE LMAO.
But then the first “platonic with a capital P” we get from Robin…it started to feel like Robin realizes maybe subconsciously what is going on. Its softer. Its not very wingman of her at that point. It feels like “hey the door is wide open”. And how Nancy looks up from her searching but then flashes her that weird smile. Like “yeah okay I guess”.
“In case thats adding any tension between us” yall…..I’ve said this to girls I thought were straight and got that same weird crunched face look Nancy does because it was like a “you goddamn idiot the tension is because i wanna kiss you”. “It wasn’t” further proves my point, like Robin, the tension is because she wanna hit.
I want to tattoo the last look Nancy gives Robin on my body before they cut to them reeling The Weekly Watcher onto the machines, she thinks Robin is a goddamn genius and wants to kiss her on the mouth.
Nancy literally has to walk away when they make eye contact, same bestie.
Okay then the journalist possesses Nancy’s body when she realizes Robin isn’t mocking her so thats it for me reading into this. But Jesus Christ dude. If you watch Natalia’s interviews often like I do, dude that woman is OBSESSED with the queer ships of the show. Other actors have played their characters queer when its not scripted and we KNOW Natalia is gunning for a Ronance kiss. She’s Ronance’s biggest fan. She’s also a vocal Stonathan supporter which may not mean she doesn’t support Jancy, but she got so bored the last time someone asked her about the love triangle. And while I love Megan Thee Stallion and her love of ST…I was like girl do you watch the interviews??? LMAO.
I am becoming a bigger Ronance supporter than I am of my other ships which is BAFFLING. But I DO NOT THINK NANCY WHEELER IS STRAIGHT. I’m starting to fully FULLY believe she’s a lesbian not even gd bi dude.
49 notes · View notes
moonybadger · 1 year
Text
Trying to make a compilation of “good” vermin characters in Redwall, since I feel like the books get a little generalized in the idea that they’re always “all vermin are bad, all woodlanders are good” all the time. It is MOST of the time, but not as often as people say! Let me know if I forgot any, there’s a few of the later books that my memory is a little foggy on and I haven’t read Doomwyte or The Rouge Crew yet so I might have missed some characters from there.
Redwall - Squire Julian and Captain Snow (Captain Snow needs to be convinced, but still that’s better then most antagonists)
Mossflower - Gingivere and Sandingomm, old unnamed rat living alone on the beach (he was killed by seagulls and found by Martin and co), arguably Ashleg too, since he scarpered before the final fight and dreamed of living someplace peaceful. I think there’s also an argument for Verdauga, since even though he’s a conqueror he’s shown in a more positive light then Tsarmania, and Argular who seems like a neutral party at best but not actively malicious.
Martin the Warrior - maybe Wulpp? He gets spared by Brome
The Bellmaker - the LEGENDARY and beloved Blaggut
Outcast of Redwall - Bluefen obviously, but I guess we can include Veil in this (even though I really hate how his character was handled) Arguably the flock of crows attacking Swartt’s army as well, since they were doing it in revenge for their leader’s mother being killed.
Pearls of Lutra - Romsca, another legendary example. Graylunk as well; when he fled to Redwall he became good friends with Fermald the squirrel and trusted the pearls to her when he realized he was dying. I would also put forth an argument for Barranca (Romsca’s captain), since he seemed more interested in overthrowing Ublaz Mad Eyes to avenge his brother and because Ublaz was a dangerous, untrustworthy ruler rather then for a selfish desire for power.
The Long Patrol - I would say the two doofy foot soldiers Lousewort and Sneezewort, since they spend the whole book in over their head, don’t really hurt anyone, and then skedaddle before the final fight. 
Marlfox - the water rat soldiers of the Marlfoxes seem eager to throw their weapons into the lake and give up their lives as soldiers. It’s implied that though some of them relished the power they had in the army, most of them were there against their will.
Lord Brocktree - Groddil is a little ambiguous, but the book absolutely supports his vengeance for his family and bodily injuries when he pushes Ungatt Trunn out to sea.
 Taggerung - Sawney Rath is a REALLY fascinating character, who is a good if ruthless leader who genuinely cares for Tagg as a baby. He’s definitely a villain, with him ordering the death of Rillflag and Tagg’s kidnapping, but he has enough moments of genuine love for the kid that he becomes very engaging. The biggest injustice this book did was killing him off so soon, when they could have REALLY explored the depths of his and Tagg’s weird fucked up relationship.
Triss - Plugg Firetail and the crew of the Seascab. Again, not really GOOD per say, but Plugg was unusual in that he and his crew actively cared about each other and his crewmates were devastated when he was killed.
Loamhedge - Flinky and Crinktail are vermin mates who actually love each other! Flinky also ends up leading his group to a good location where they settle down permanently are implied to never resort to their previous bad ways again.
Rakkety Tam - We don’t know much about Askor, but he definitely is a far cry from the monster that is his brother. He comes off more as proud in the one scene we have of him, but not actively cruel. Same with their father, Dramz.
High Rhulian - while it’s definitely a stretch to call Lady Kaltag sympathetic (since she’s the queen of an island of slaves and all) her grief over the death of her son feels very real and visceral, as does her fall into madness over it; Especially when contrasted to the hare Cuthburt’s similar reaction to the death of his own daughter. And Jeefra is just so pathetic and his death is so brutal that it’s hard not to feel a little sorry for him.
The Sable Quean - Gliv and Lugg also aren’t really good people, but they fall into a similar category as Flinky and Crinktail, in that they’re mated vermin who actually love each other.
And just for fun, here’s some “bad” (or morally ambiguous) woodlander characters:
Mattimeo - Skan the shrew and his friends (abandoned the Guoism shrews to try and help Slagar, but he just made them slaves)
Mariel of Redwall - Pakatugg is pretty self interested for most of the book and pretty mean to Mariel, until his final stand with the Salamandastron hares at the end.
Salamandastron - Arguably Wild King MacPhearsome, just because it’s presented as a possibility that he’d kill Thugg and Dumble when they first hear about him
Martin the Warrior - FULL OF ‘EM TBH; we got the Pygmy Shrews (they keep slaves of their own and only free Martin and his friends because they saved the leader’s annoying son), the pack of murderous squirrels that make a game out of attacking people, the family of stuffy rabbits who try to scare travelers because they’re snobs, and the hedgehog who poisons people eating his cherries. And of course Druwp the bankvole slave who sells out the other slaves in exchange for food and luxuries. 
The Long Patrol - interestingly I would argue that The Long Patrol itself is shown in a pretty morally ambiguous light in this book; Cregga’s battlelust is feared even by her hares and her mad charge after the Rabscallions is disapproved of by many of her officers. The price they all pay for the battle is very high, with the death of several major characters and Cregga being blinded. Russa even tells Tammo on her deathbed that it’s alright if he doesn’t join the Long Patrol, because he isn’t battle hardened and harsh like them. Tammo is an interesting contrast to the Long Patrol hares, because he’s easily one of the most sensitive warrior main characters in the series and there’s an indication that both he and Russano change Salamandastron to be less warlike and more peaceful when they return there. 
Marlfox - Fenno the shrew, who kills Log-a-log, and the Gray One, a sly water vole who takes over Burble’s tribe and plans to steal the green stick from Song.
The Legend of Luke - Folgrim ate people
Lord Brocktree - while they are ultimately a force for good, I like how morally ambiguous Jukka was and how she and Fleetscut clashed over their ideals so often. Also Bucko is practically an antagonist until Dotti wins their competition.
Taggerung - Even though we never see him in person (alive), Nimbalo’s father is actively abusive, to the point where he’s driven both his wife and son away. Nimbalo does end up avenging him anyway though
Rakkety Tam - The Squirrel King and Queen are really not shown in a good light at alllll
Eulalia! - Orkwil Prink is a little shit hedgehog who gets banished from the Abbey for a season for stealing constantly. I remember finding him pretty unlikable, but in hindsight he does feel like a redo of Veil’s character if Veil actually learned any lessons (like Veil who was the son of a warlord, Orkwil was the son of thieves who abandoned him as a child)
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Text
Nyx reads Six of Crows (pt.1)
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I didn't want to annoy anyone with too much spamming so this is just my general thoughts while reading! (PLEASE DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO READ THIS HALF OF IT IS GOING TO BE ME BEING DUMB AS HELL SO)
(updating every day, so you guys can keep up with my thoughts in real-time without TOO much spam :))
LIKE I SAID THERE'S NO PRESSURE TO READ IT AND HONESTLY IF IT GETS ANNOYING JUST BLOCK THE TAG #★nyx reads soc! AND YOU WON'T SEE IT ANYMORE I GET IT'LL PROBABLY BE TOO MUCH CONSIDERING THERE ARE 40 SOME CHAPTERS NO HARD FEELINGS 😭
part 2
SPOILERS BELOW!!!!
Started reading: 1/18/23
Finished reading: 2/4/23
Alright, since I didn't start this at the beginning of the book, I'm gonna summarize my thoughts from Chapters 1-4 in a few sentences:
AWWW JOOST AND ANYA SO CUTE, omgggg I'm in love with Inej AND Kaz, is this new? Nope. Uh oh, the girlfriend is gonna get killed. DAMN KAZ THE THREATS 💀 Jesper is so me. NOOOO JOOST. AND ANYA??? Who the hell is that. WHO TF IS JORDIE???? SLAY INEJ!!! Aww, new ship you guys!!!
Ok, that's all hope people understand it and if you don't, too bad. JOKING LOVE YOU GUYS!!!
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Starting at chapter 5 guys
Kaz is actually so smart
Oh Jordie is older-
I mean I assumed he was his brother but I thought he was younger
MEETING NINA!!!! (Ives said I'd like her)
omg. I'm in love with her. She has said one thing.
HIM BUYING STOCKS FROM THAT OLD MAN BECAUSE OF NINA💀
I can't believe they're only 17
I'm trying to be like Kaz
interested in Matthias like a lot
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chapter 6 now
I wonder what Matthias did
omg another new ship
I'm still confused about the costumes
this prison feels like hell
so many gangs
WTF IS THAT THING
ROARS LIKE A LION
LOOKS LIKE A SNAKE THING
WHAT
AHH WTF I'M GONNA CRY
NOT PEKKA AGAIN
who would actually think of something like this 😦
It's sick
not sick in a cool way
sick in a WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL way
YOU'RE RIGHT NINA IT IS DISGUSTING
HOW ARE PEOPLE WATCHING THIS IN GOOD CONSCIENCE
ok maybe for the sick fucks
THEY CHOOSE TO DO IT
FUCK THE BENEFITS NO WAY I'M DOING THAT
omg they bet on it.
crying, screaming
"I'm mad at you, too" "I don't know yet. I just am." -me coded
oh Nina...this won't end well
ENEMIES TO LOVERS!!!
my two sides fighting ^^
NOT HIS HAIR
oh she down bad
Don't tell me killing wolves is against his morals- or his country's morals-
Omg. IT'S AGAINST HIS FUCKING MORALS- SOBBING SCREAMING PULLING MY HAIR OUT WTF
WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH
HE'S WISHING THEM FAREWELL 😭
IT'S TRYING TO KILL HIM AND HE'S PRAYING FOR THEM
AHHHHHH-
HE'S CRYING.
HE. IS. CRYING.
😭😭😭😭
I'm hurt, you guys. Very hurt. Might cry. Probably will.
Do you guys see how sensitive I am yet?
WHAT DID YOU DO NINA???
HIS MOTHER 😭 KAZ I CANNOT RN
Kaz is a slay per usual
I love the word barbaric
such a funny word
Kaz is literally a genius
No I won't stop saying that because he is
I just rolled my eyes so much I could see my fucking brain
Am I the only one who hates when guys act tough?
"I can take it" STFU AND LET HER DO HER WORK 😡
WHY TF IS HE CALLED GOOD BOY I WANNA BE CALLED GOOD GIRL BY KAZ WTF 😡
y'all I don't know who said that cause it wasn't me.
anyways
...oh such a lovely reunion!!! how romantic!!!!!
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Chapter 7 ALONG WITH Part 2!!!!
first pov from Matthias!
we left off where he was choking her and now he's dreaming of her???
trying to be like them fr JOKING JOKING
Matthias would like Taylor Swift
I mean he used one of her song titles in one of his first sentences!!!
He's so me
just realized that said hunted instead of haunted
crying actually
I thought we had something Matthias.
now with me those instances would be switched, kissing Nina sounds very pleasant actually
oh Matthias is down bad too
SLAYYYY
MATTHIAS YOU HORNY BASTARD
Sorry that's rude BUT TRUE APPARENTLY???
OMG MATTHIAS GET OVER YOURSELF AND JUST KISS HER HOLY SHIT
Me thinks this is a enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers again arc
JESPER'S HERE TOO? WOOHOO, THAT'S MY FAV FR!!!
I say that about everyone idek which one is actually my fav
"Boys like you weren't meant to get ideas, Helver," YOU TELL HIM KAZ!!!
"that Jesper character" HE IS CERTAINLY A CHARACTER INDEED BUT I LOVE HIM FOR IT
My girl killed something that no one had survived before her
Love her sm ❤
Kaz is a lot of things but at least he's honest about it 💀
LEARN HER NAME MATTHIAS 😭
I LOVE JESPER SM
my lord I think he wants to kill Nina, just a thought though
bro Nina fucked him up
GRISHA CORRUPTION??? HOLY SHIT THEY DO HATE THE GRISHA NINA WASN'T EVEN EXAGGERATING
Matthias drop the witch thing, it's getting annoying
A STORK- HE JUST CALLED JESPER A STORK 💀
THE DEMON. MY GOD HE LOVES NAME CALLING
SO SET ON THE KILLING THING MY GOD
oh he's so salty I love it
me thinks she will think about you, often (it's disgusting and I can't stop)
my lord Matthias, never getting on your bad side
does he genuinely think Kaz is a demon? like a demon demon?
New character y'all
OMG ANOTHER REMINDER THEY'RE ALL HELLA YOUNG
THEY SEEM SO MUCH OLDER
VAN ECK???
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Chapter 8 IN JESPER'S POV!!!
I love Jesper he's so me
WTF HIS CHAPTER IS SO SHORT (I say as I've been complaining to myself about how long the chapters are)
Jealous? I know what you are Jesper.
It's ok me too
JOKING JOKING
or am I?
Y'ALL LEAVE THIS POOR KID ALONE
THEY'RE ALL GOING IN ON HIM
don't have a repeat of Joost. Istfg I will sob. don't try me.
hey, hey. flute is cool too. (ok not as cool as piano but don't tell him I said that)
JESPER 😭
Wylan give me all your belongings rn.
Ofc Kaz is unfazed, it's Kaz tf do you expect?
JESPER I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH
Nina provoking him won't do any good 😭
God the dynamic between Jesper and Wylan
I want what they have
"You're all horrible" YOU WOKE UP AND IMMEDIATELY STARTED TRYING TO STRANGLE SOMEONE YOU HAVE NO RIGHT. 💀
KAZ IS SO. SMART.
OMGGGG WYLAN 😭
"No" "it looks like a target" NOW THAT'S A SLAY
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Chapter 9 ANOTHER SHORT ONE!!!
HA KAZ PAIRED JESPER WITH HIM
I feel a new ship brewing
Kaz ships Jesper and Wylan confirmed
KAZ IS SO FUNNY
Can you guys tell I like Kaz yet?
MATTHIAS IS ADORABLE
He'd probably try to kill me if I said that to him
But I only speak the truth!!!
I take that back
how stupid do you have to be to attack Kaz?
Kaz being the best per usual
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Chapter 10, INEJ!!!
MY GIRL HAS RETURNED!!!
Can't believe I've already read like 5 chapters today
But some of these have been short, this chapter is too
And it has still taken me like 4 hours I think, I'm a really slow reader 😭
anyways
Inej and Kaz's dynamic never fails to make me laugh 💀
oh...guys now why would you say that
oh no the silent treatment 💀
KAZ WHY WOULD YOU SAY THATTTT
Inej's parents were the blueprint
THE FLOWERSSSSS
omg that place sounds horrible.
AHHH NO INEJ
oml my heart is racing
LYNX IS NOT HER NAME 😡
omg she names her knives I love her
I want to know more about her Saints
her knives mean as much to her as Jesper's guns mean to him
WTF DO YOU MEAN IT EXPLODED
NO. NO WAY.
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Chapter 11, JESPER AGAIN ❤❤❤
y'all gonna explain the explosion???
WHO ARE YOU SHOOTING AT JESPER
OMG.
"Not a kid" me too Wylan but I also call everyone kid so 🤷
omg Kaz you're a lifesaver, literally
ok it's official, yeah there's def 3 ships here
I know what you guys are.
Matt DIDN'T use his first opportunity to kill Nina? DEVELOPMENT!!!
I am calling him Matt from now on
IT'S TOO FUNNY
AHHH JESPER-
IS HE INSANE?
BETTER THAN WINNING AT GAMBLING?
I'LL TAKE THE CARDS PLEASE WHAT-
"you can't kiss me from down there" SO YOU WANT HIM TO KISS YOU?????? CAUGHT YOU BITCH/j
OH YEAH WYLAN!!! PROVE THOSE BITCHES WRONG!!! YOU ARE USEFUL!!! SLAYYYY
Lawd this chapter brought my heart rate up
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Chapter 12, MY BELOVED AGAIN!!!
WHY ARE THESE CHAPTERS SO SHORT
the ones in the beginning were so long
wtf happened
Who cares PARTAY
I hate long chapters
aw not the fucking black tips again
MULTIPLE GANGS?
WITH HIS BARE HANDS 😦
AHHH SO MUCH STRESS- INEJ ISTFG
OMG INEJ SLAY I LOVE THAT FOR YOU I CANNOT
INEJJJ
Omg you worried me.
Kaz to the rescue again
omg.
crying.
she's not gonna die but lord-
ISTFG.
AHHHHHHHHH
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this book has a habit of ending the chapters on very worrying notes.
anyways.
Chapter 13, Kaz
scared fr ngl
another short chapter as well
omg he loves her so much
but I love her more so he can fuck off.
JOKING LOVE YA KAZ
trying to steal my girl though 🙄
HIS WRAITH
SOBBING, SCREAMING, PASSING OUT, RIPPING MY HAIR OUT.
STOMPED 💀 HE'S SUCH A CHILD I LOVE HIM
Awww they're so cute together... (Wylan and Jesper)
oh...now Kaz....his eye socket?
OH HIS EYE.
KAZ.
OH HE JUST- THREW IT OVERBOARD- NO CARE IN THE WORLD-
OH AND THE HANDKERCHIEF.
OK I LIKE IT PICASSO.
KAZ. ISTG. I CANNOT.
FUCKING ROLLINS? I SWEAR THIS MF JUST NEEDS TO GET THE FUCK OUT OMG-
well bye ig
Don't mess with Inej guys you get your eye taken out and get thrown overboard
deserved
KAZ IS SCARY THOUGH HOLY SHIT
AND THE MY WRAITH THING AGAIN
I CAN'T.
JESPERRRR
I need to know what tf happened with Jordie.
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Chapter 14!!! Nina is backkkk
This one is VERY long and by long I mean 15 pages so honestly I'm being dramatic.
Honestly the gang tattoo sounds like it'd look really good
YES NINA SEES IT TOO
Inej and Nina together>>>>
Best friends I say
I wonder if people ship them
I mean I guess I can see it idk yet though
Jesper and Inej 🤝 finding comfort in deathly weapons
Oh Jesper please don't start crying cause I will too
they're all so smart
how tf she know all those languages
y'all I don't think I like Zoya all that much
ONCE AGAIN SHE'S SO SMART
MATTTTT
omg she said he looks like a painting
crying, screaming
oh Nina..
um...everyone makes mistakes! you'll be ok!
ew. um. I would rather die, actually.
Me thinks Jarl Brum is a little bitch
I wish I understood all the words they're saying
NO. FUCKING. WAY. I'M GONNA LOSE MY MIND IF THEY DO WHAT I THINK THEY'RE IMPLYING.
oh some boy to the rescue
oh nvm.
NINA YESSSS SLAY
WHAT DID SHE JUST SAYYYY UGHHHHH
omg she's going to kill him!!!
I support women's rights but I also support their wrongs
joking I know she won't kill him
ooh she called out the name calling too
glad I'm not the only one
OMG NINA YOU DID WHAT
YOU'RE RIGHT HE DOES HAVE A RIGHT TO DISLIKE YOU 😦
I don't though, still love you SUPPORT WOMEN'S WRONGS!!! (/j)
OMG THIS HURTS.
I'M GONNA CRY-
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Last chapter of this part, Chapter 15, Matty boy's perspective
Back to the short chapters
oh...violent per usual
WYLAN BITING THE DISK 💀
oooh Brum died? YIPEE!!!
omg Kaz 😭
HE'S SO IN LOVE
Kaz scary sometimes
AWWW HE'S WARMING UP TO WYLAN
"my ghost won't associate with your ghost)" MATTYYY 💀
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CHAPTER 16, along with part 3, AND AN INEJ POV!!!
oh she's crying-
BEST FRIENDS!!!!!
3 DAYS?????
HELPPP THIS FRIENDSHIP IS EVERYTHING
I feel like Kaz has a death wish
OMG I NEED THEM TOGETHER. SHE CARES SO MUCH FOR HIM.
I LOVE INEJ AND NINAAAAA
not her bullying her singing 💀
THEY LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HER
THESE POOR CHILDREN
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Chapter 17, AND JESPERRRRRRRR
I'd probably jump too, seems boring
HELP BOTHER WYLAN
they love each other
ok Wylan, come on now
JESPER IS JUST LIKE ME BRO
oh the lovers are quarreling
HELP "You're not dead!" JESPER 💀
Y'all...it's a good thing I'm a multi-shipper.../hj
"YOU'RE NOT INVITED" 💀
am I though?? I love waffles
Jesper is a people watcher
LIKE I SAID JUST LIKE ME FR
"Would it kill him to smile every once in a while" "very possibly" YALL 😭
Inej and Jesper friendship supremacy
omg Jesper loves Kaz
me too
AND HE ASKS ABOUT WYLAN
THEY'RE IN LOVE
WHAT
WITH HIS TUTOR???
SLAY WYLAN
SHE READ THE LETTERS I CAN'T
HE DOESN'T LIKE THE OCEAN EITHER????
JESPER WE'RE JUST SO CONNECTED
I told you Jesper has a crush on Kaz. "feeling his cheeks heat" I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE
idek if I'm joking at this point not
THEY'RE THE BEST CHARACTERS OUT OF THE WHOLE BOOK
I LOVE THEM YOU GUYS I LOVE THEM
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alright day 2 (or 3, can't remember) of you guys putting up with my total BULLSHIT
Chapter 18, KAZZZZ
my husband fr
and Inej's
TRYING TO FIND AN EXCUSE TO TALK TO HER 😭
Kaz always has something over someone 💀
"tell me you know that. He needed her to say it." "He needed to know she believed him." HE WANTS HER TO TRUST HIMMMM
NO.
JORDIE.
OH THAT BITCH
BRO ISTFG
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
CRYING SCREAMING PASSING OUT OMG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I WANNA-
BE RID OF THIS DISTRACTION? KAZ BREKKER. ISTFG IF YOU LOSE HER BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID TRAIN OF THOUGHT I'LL CRY.
KAZ BREKKER. 😡😡😡
BRO "He didn't want Inej." YOU JUST FUCKING SAID-
OH. THAT'S A HORRIBLE WAY TO DIE- POOR KAZ'S DAD-
HE GREW UP ON A FARM.
KAZ IS A FARMER BOY.
THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY.
this is gonna be sad.
oh he liked the omelets :(
OMG HES SO INNOCENT
FUCK NOT WCS
OMG I CAN'T DO THIS RN
HE BLAMES HIMSELFFFFF
I'M GONNA SOB
JORDIEEEE
NOOO YOU JINXED IT
actually about to start crying
knowing Jordie dies hurt
WHERE IS SASKIA NOW
"That seems like cheating" and he does it now :(
omg Filip not a good idea
AHHH
he didn't.
he didn't just trick some helpless CHILDREN right?
OMFG HE DID.
OH THE RIBBON
OH THE METAPHOR
OMG OUCH HOLY SHIT
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Chapter 19, Matty boy is back
Feel like it hasn't been his pov in forever
It's only been 4 chapters.
Embarrassing on my part 💀
anyways this chapter is so long
20 pages this time
still not that long but longer than the last time I complained about it
anyways
I love Nina
HE CAN SMILE???
He's such a child
it's so funny
Finally they're having contact without them trying to kill each other
OMG HE'S SO IN LOVE
AHHHH in a good way this time
uh oh running out of romance tabs
you ruined it Matty boy
I love that they say that
"Strange people" PLEASE
So real Jesper
Kaz has his priorities straight
money>>>>everyhing/hj
HE LEFT HIS CANE????
omg they just keep going 😭
sometimes I forget they're technically speaking another language
do none of them have mothers
If Matty betrays them istg
Don't pull a Peter Matty boy
Ah fuck I'm out of post-its for my in-book annotations
ugh I should've been better prepared 😭
omg I'm ALSO always in charge of making sure people don't start fighting
ONCE AGAIN, KAZ IS A FUCKING GENIUS.
omg Matty, I love you, but you're getting on my fucking nerves
KAZ PAIRING WYLAN AND JESPER TOGETHER AGAIN
PLEASE TELL ME I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO SHIPS HIM
THERE'S NO WAY I'M THE ONLY ONE
AT LEAST YOU FOUND SOMETHING TO AGREE ON 💀
Matty, they ARE crows
HIM IMITATING THE BELLS
Because you're in love Matty boy, that's why
HOW LONG WAS NINA PULLING HIS HEAVY ASS BODY WITH HER? AND USING POWERS?? DAMN
awww they're so cute
if we look past the fact they are very close to death
um...
HE TURNED AROUND FOR HER
Nah I don't think it's intentional I think you just have a dirty mind Matty boy
"Then you're as stupid as you look" SLAY NINA!!!!
OMG MATT GET OVER YOURSELF AND TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES.
IT'S NOT NATURAL FOR SOMEONE TO BE AS STUPID AS HE IS TALL 💀💀💀
A BURLY SQUID????? NINAAA
AHHHH
"He lied. He did like the way she talked."
MATTY
oh god
GO OFF NINA!!!!
HOW IS ONE OF THEM ALIVE?
oh poor Nina
YES NINA STAND YOUR GROUND
Matthias. Yes I just said your real name. That is such a fucked up thing to say.
SLAY NINA
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Chapter 20, NINAAA
the ending of the last chapter made me really angry at Matty boy so
also I'm officially halfway through the book!!!
oh Nina loves him so much :/
so down bad
I LOVE THEM
well I get why he hates Grisha if his family was killed by them
WE DON'T EAT BABIES 💀
Matt you do not have fun you seem like the most boring person ever
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD LAUGH I'M CRYING
Nina is so relatable
"Do you ever doubt yourself?"
"All the time." "I just don't show it."
OMG NINA JUST CALLED HIM OUT
fuck out of romance tabs
so cute though
OMG THEY NAME SHARED
AHHHHH
oh he angry
honestly has the right to
Nina now wtf come on
INEJ TO THE RESCUE!!!!
I might actually cry I found more tabs and I don't wanna go back
At least I have them for the future?
I DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF CHECKING MY BAG OMFG
IT'S A NEW FUCKING PACK TOO I'M GONNA START SOBBING
Switching general note post-its too BECAUSE THERE WAS A WHOLE FUCKING THING OF THOSE TOO
MY GOD 😭
how do you view Grisha as less than you WHEN THEY ARE LITERALLY BETTER THAN YOU IN SO MANY WAYS
ARE YOU CONTROLLING THE ELEMENTS? I DIDN'T THINK SO
CAN YOU KILL SOMEONE WITHOUT TOUCHING THEM? NOPE.
STAY IN YOUR FUCKING LANE
oh that's fucked up Kaz
ok well Nina is justified in all that
HE DOESN'T WANT IT???
WOOHOO
YIPPEE
HOPEFULLY THEY WON'T TRY TO KILL EACH OTHER NOW
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Summing up what I read in school! (so ten pages)
That food was probably disgusting, CANNONS? "WHO KNEW I HAD A TASTE FOR LITERATURE" JESPER 💀. Good plan, but also so incredibly stupid wtf. NINA. Inej's discussion with Matty is so true.
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alright continuing chapter 21, INEJ!!!
my wife fr
Bro Jesper is just so me
Bro, I'd give this man the most amazing, mind-blowing, leg-shaking, eye-rolling, breath-taking, sheet-grabbing, sloppiest head he's ever gotten in his entire life
Who said that cause it wasn't me
Def not
anyways
OH NO HE FLINCHED
oh shit they're pressed together
his touch thing
oh fuck
don't cry, don't cry, don't cry
Matty boy scary
"IT LOOKS LIKE LEAVING THEM IN A DITCH" 💀
Nina and Matty boy are so cute 😍
IDEAL FOR FAKING SUICIDES????
This book gives me stress
OMG KAZ I'M GONNA CRY
FAINTED??? SOBBING SCREAMING RIPPING MY HAIR OUT
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Chapter 22, KAZZLE DAZZLE
SCARED FR
oh their story is so sad :/
NOOOOOO JORDIE
OH MY GOD.
HE'S SO YOUNG
THIS ISN'T FAIR
I'M ACTUALLY CRYING
HE HAD TO USE HIS BODY
OH HONEY YOU'RE NO MONSTER DON'T SAY THAT
OMG HIM AND INEJ I'M GONNA SOB
OH NO HE'S PANICKING CAUSE INEJ ISN'T THERE
TANKS?
Kaz slays with the quotes per usual
JESPER 💀
OH LORD KAZ I'M GONNA CRY AGAIN
THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR JOKES JESPER
oh Kaz :/ I FEEL SO BAD
"Kaz knew the word for cripple in plenty of languages" KAZZZZZZ 😭
SLAY KAZ YOU DO THAT!!!
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Chapter 23, JESPER!!!!!
He just like me but my father doesn't understand so 🤷🏻‍♀
THE LEG WAS ASKING FOR IT????? WHAT????
I WANT MORE WYLAN 😡
Love Jesper and Wylan so much
SINCE WHEN IS HE A FABRIKATOR
I LOVE THEM
THEY'RE BOTH FARM BOYS
Y'ALL THAT'S TOO FUNNY TO ME
THE FLIRTINGGGG
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Chapter 24, NINA!!!
my other wife
so pretty much all of the Fjerdan are hella tall? scary
THOSE CELLS ARE HORRIBLE
poor Nina
UH OH UH OH UH OH
NOT AN ALARM OMG
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Chapter 25, Inej!!!
even his gloves are genius
AH ISTG IF SHE FALLS
THE SHOES???
omg Kaz and Inej 😍
I hate this place.
EW HELEEN IS DISGUSTING
Flexing like a goddamn acrobat
"Better terrible truths than kind lies"
so real for that one
please Inej, keep going 😭
THANK YOU RAIN OMG
THE STRESS
YES INEJ, YES IT IS!!!
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Chapter 26, my husband
the only thing keeping him alive rn is revenge
KAZ YOU BIT HIM??? 😭
Genius at 9
A ROCK??? BRO KAZ WAS AS RUTHLESS AT 9 AS HE IS NOW
Rietveld
Kaz Rietveld
Idk doesn't have the same ring to it but that might just be because I'm used to Brekker
Kaz should teach me cards imagine how much money I'd get
OMG HE'S HERE?
KAZ
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ok y'all I'm gonna start struggling I've used too many images so I have like 3 more chapters I can go between and then I'm gonna have to start a new post
I'm gonna cry
anyways
chapter 27 JESPER!!!
OH I FORGOT ABOUT THE ALARM
ok they're all good
for now
HELP JESPER IS TOO FUNNY THIS IS A SERIOUS SITUATION
NOT THE MENAGERIE 😡
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chapter 28, INEJ!!!!
my wife fr
DEMON AGAIN 💀
bro how are they all geniuses
so we have a new plan!!!!!
WDYM MISS THAT LOOK YOU'LL BE SEEING IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
RIGHT? RIGHT??????
I like shiny things
omg I hate this
DON'T SAY THAT
omg Matty said it
JESPER 💀
Omg she's gonna leave.
OMG HE TOUCHED HER.
AHHHH
HE DIDN'T PULL AWAYYYY
omg she'd be such a good captain
they all have horrific backgrounds
I love Nina sm
HELP
"all I can see is your ass" 💀
THEY CALLED HIM A TULIP
BRO THAT'S BETTER THAN THE STORK THING
I CAN'T RN
DON'T FLIRT WITH HIM FLIRT WITH ME
OMG INEJ ISTG IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU
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this is the last chapter I'm doing on this post
BUT CHAPTER 29!! MATTY BOY
I love Jesper
Bro loves her so much
we just moving past that??
HE DIDN'T SHOOT!!! WOOHOO!!!
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21 notes · View notes
luccettis · 3 months
Text
all roads lead back to you
chapter five - too much labor
Del stands in front of the nonfiction shelf of the school library, concentrating on reshelving books about the civil war. Music blared in her earbuds as she looked from down to up, pushing the books in by their spines. Her arms were hurting from carrying loads of laundry up and down the stairs the days before, and having a heavy enough driving force to cut snakes in half in the backyard. Her hands were calloused, but the thick skin was already coming off and had already bled when she was in geoscience earlier this week. 
Being the library’s student aide was one of the few times she had time to herself - the other times she had were when she was sleeping, taking a piss or if her dad and brothers went to work. But soon, the year would be over and that peace would be gone. School was a break from home, kind of. When she wasn’t at school, her dad would be up her ass to call every hour or every other hour while they were at work, and she was home alone - or even when she was at work. As she leaned up to place another book about how the North kicked the South’s ass - through an empty space, Orlando was looking at her and whisper-yelled. 
“Cookies!” 
Del jumped, yanking the earbuds out of her ear. 
“Jesus fuck!” 
“Damn! Keep your vocie down.” He whispered back, coming around the shelf to talk to her face-to-face. A few people stared at them, including the librarian that shushed them. 
“What the fuck? Can’t just fuckin’ tap on my shoulder like a normal person?” 
“No, hey-” Orlando leans on the cart casually. “How you doin’?” 
Del’s eyebrow quirked, and looked at him skeptically. 
“How am I doin’?”
“Yeah, like how you holdin’ up? School year’s almost over. You been a damn good student body president. Don’t get to see you much though.” 
“Fine, thanks.” Her response was short, and going back to doing what she did before. She doesn’t ask him how he was doing in return. 
“Yeah? Well, I’m good. Thanks for asking. Do you uh, wanna hang out?” 
Del stops what she’s doing, and rests a hand on her hip and looks at him. 
“I told you, my fuckin’ dad says no. He’ll skin me and you.” 
“Well, it’s the end of the year. You don’t think he’ll let up?”
She rolls her eyes. “You don’t check on me all fuckin’ year, and you just go ‘hey, wanna hang out?’” 
“You haven’t said shit to me either, Del.” Orlando shakes his head, and crosses his arms. “Cole told me he talked to you too.” 
She groaned, pushing her cart toward the science fiction section. “Yeah, and I told him to fuck off.” 
“Yeah! So you can’t really be mad at me, because you told me to fuck off too.” He walks alongside her, and she stops and resumes her duties. 
“I’m not mad. I told you, I can’t fuckin’ go anywhere.” 
“You haven’t even tried to ask!” 
“How would you know?” 
“You don’t hang out with nobody. I hear that announcement for your ass to go to the office like three times a week, and you won’t ask someone to hang out with you. Ain’t nobody hanging out with you and your old man. No offense.”
“None taken.” She mumbles. “I don’t bother. I’m gonna be fuckin’ stuck here until college or die, probably.” 
“You should try.” 
“To say I’m hanging with you?”
“He don’t know me, I think. I don’t think he knew I knew - know - Wayne.” Del glances over her shoulder and feels her heart tug. 
“I don’t know. He’ll probably make you come over, or babysit us the entire time at your house. I’d rather be babysat. I fuckin’ hate my house.”
“Del.” Orlando stands beside her at the shelf, looking at her face. “You gotta start chipping away at him. He gotta think you loyal enough not to leave by now. You bust your ass here in school and always be answering him when he calls.” 
“In school? In school?” She hisses, resting a hand on the shelf. “Orlando, I fuckin’ replaced my ma. Cookin’, cleanin’, laundry- I’m a fuckin’ live-in maid. I do more than bust my ass.” She scoffed. “I need to get the fuck away from here.” 
Orlando felt bad. Wayne, right now was at his house reading Conan the Barbarian comics and helping his grandma put up shelves and clean out the attic. He couldn’t tell her that, it would send her over the edge. He fought to calm Wayne down to not storm the school. He explained that they needed to be methodical so he wouldn’t get beaten black and blue by Bobby Luccetti. But it felt wrong, knowing the distance between Del and Wayne was 6 or 7 miles max- instead of the distance from Ocala to Brockton. 
“Your old man can come check out my house and vet me and my grandma. It’s white boy free.” He holds his hands up. 
“Great.” She sighed, rolling on to the romance section. “I dunno. I can ask him today after school.” 
“Great!” The last bell of the day rang, and he snapped his fingers and pointed at her, walking away. “See you later, Cookies!” 
“Bye.” 
She watched him depart, and rolled the cart back from which it came, and walked outside to wait at her usual spot to wait for her dad. Orlando scrambled to get on his bike and put on his helmet, and sped away from the school. The loud pop and rumble of the pick-up truck that belonged to Bobby became closer, and closer, and closer. He pulled up to the curb, and Del swung open the door and climbed into the truck, plopping down into the seat. She was grateful Teddy and Carl weren’t with him. 
“How was school?” He asked, turning away from the lot and driving off. 
“It was school.” 
“What did you do? You got stuff to do school events and shit? I saw it on the calendar.” 
“Posters for prom. End of school ideas.” She rests her arm on the truck door, looking out the window at all the students walking in groups to go home - chatting and smiling. 
“You makin’ posters?” 
“Yeah.” Silence. She thinks about Orlando. “Daddy?” 
“Yeah Delilah?” 
“Can I visit a school friend’s house this weekend? After work? He said you can come over and meet his grandma, and stay while we hang out-” The words flow as fast as she can talk, nervous. Bobby cuts her off and points a finger at her. 
“I said no fuckin’ boyfriends until you got your own home.” 
“He’s not a boyfriend!” She snapped, and crossed her arms. “He wants to hang out and study for the SATs.” 
“Don’t you take those next year?” 
“Yeah, but he wants to start studyin’, and so do I.” 
Bobby scoffed. “Fine. But I’ll be meetin’ his fuckin’ parents and him. If I don’t like what I see and hear, we’re fuckin’ leaving. You understand me?” 
“Yes, Daddy.” 
They made small talk about his day, but after that, Del was counting down the hours, minutes and seconds to school tomorrow and to tell Orlando she could come over with Bobby’s permission. 
⛓𓌹*♰*𓌺⛓
Del woke up with a newfound excitement and joy she hadn’t known in a while. She got ready for school, and the minute Bobby dropped her off, she dashed to Orlando’s locker. It was open, with him digging for some textbooks inside. Del hit the locker next to him with her hand. 
“My dad said yes. But he said if he don’t like you, I’m goin’ home.” 
Orlando jumped, and closed his locker - trying to catch his breath. “Jesus - Sweet. I’m pullin’ the grandma Alzheimer's and dementia card. You think he’ll feel bad?”
“Maybe. Depends. Don’t lay it on too thick.” She scrunched her nose. “But uh…thanks. For pushin’ me. I’m actually excited to hang out, and not be stuck hangin’ out with fuckin’ morons.” She smiled - and it was genuine. She was excited. Even if they weren’t really studying, they could watch Encino Man and it was nice to know that he missed Wayne too. 
“I am too.” Orlando gives her a kind smile, and closes his locker - throwing an arm around her. She doesn’t even try to pull away. “I know it’s hard without our boy, Cookies.” He was sympathetic to her, and pulled her into a half hug. “We’ll be alright, okay? I just know it.” He pulls his address out of his pocket, and hands the slip to her and waves her off, walking to class. She watched him go - and shoved his address into her pocket of her jeans.
The rest of Thursday, and Friday, she couldn’t wait until Saturday to go to Orlando’s. When Saturday came she packed her backpack with books to simulate them studying. She got ready for work, and Bobby drove her there and dropped her off. Her shift was from 10-4 today - she told Orlando she would be over around 5. It was busy as hell, and it made her day go by fast. She was so excited, she didn’t even feel when her feet started to hurt because her shoes were so worn out in the sole. 
When her shift was over, Bobby picked her up and Del sat on pins and needles the whole way there. She talked about work, even the shitty parts of it. Her dad was surprised, for her to be so open and bubbly. She hated talking to him, she hated sharing stuff about her day. But she was so anxious, the words were falling out of her mouth like word vomit. He drove to Orlando’s provided address, and parked out front. She didn’t bother changing out of her uniform - in a white shirt covered in pizza sauce, a green apron - and she smelled a little like garlic. She nervously followed Bobby to the front door, holding her backpack over her shoulder. He firmly knocked at the door. 
Shortly after the knock, Orlando opened the door. He was wearing a collared shirt, jeans and greeted them with a smile. 
“Good afternoon, Mr. Luccetti, Del.” 
“You Orlando?” Bobby asked. 
“Yes sir. Come in,” He stepped to the side, gesturing for the two of them to come into the house. His grandma was sitting on the couch, knitting a magenta blanket, and watching what looked like to be the Hallmark Channel. Bobby looked around the room, inspecting every inch - from the walls, the floor, anything on the shelves. Del sheepishly moved behind him. Orlando stood next to where his grandma sat, and gestured to her. 
“This is my grandmother.” She looked up, and did a wave and flashed a smile, then went back to knitting. 
“So, you both studyin’?” Bobby clarified. His voice was projected. He sounded like an asshole.
“Yes, sir. Prepping for the SATs next year. May I offer you some water?” Del wanted to crack up to the performance Orlando was putting on.
“Yeah…That’d be nice. Thanks, kid.” Orlando promptly went to the fridge, and pulled out two bottles of water - one for Bobby, and then one for Del. “It just you and your grandma? Where are your folks at?” He looked around for any evidence of anyone else other than an old woman and her grandson, looking at the pictures on the walls. Orlando tracked his eyes. 
“No, just my grandma and I. My parents passed away. She got dementia.” He looks at his grandma, nodding to her. Bobby’s stony face softened. 
“Sorry to hear that kid.” 
“No worries. We’re doing really well. She thinks I’m grown though, and go to work.” Bobby chuckles in response and smiles. 
“You’re alright. Okay, go on, go study. We’re only stayin’ an hour. Delilah’s gotta make dinner.” He pats Del’s back and her face falters, avoiding Bobby’s gaze. Orlando looks at her. She wasn’t kidding about being miserable and parentified to take care of the Luccetti household. 
“Thank you sir.” Orlando nods - almost bowing to him. He does a little jog up his stairs, and Del follows behind in a walk. 
“And keep that fuckin’ door open!”
Once her dad was out of earshot, Del elbowed Orlando. 
“Yes sir? Thank you sir? Ain’t that layin’ it on thick?” 
“He bought it, didn’t he?” 
They walk into Orlando’s room. Del had never visited before. Snack wrappers, dirty clothes in a pile on the floor. “Jesus, Orlando. It’s like you fuckin’ hibernate in here.” 
Orlando’s eyes darted to the trash and scooped it up promptly, stuffing it into a trash can and picked up the clothes, tossing them into the laundry basket. He was grateful that he had amazing improve skills. Wayne was hanging out in here before she got here - and shoved him into the attic in case Bobby asked for a house tour. He didn’t really explain to his best friend what ‘a girl was coming over’ meant, he just made up an excuse about the girl in the neck brace he had a crush on. Wayne asked no further questions because he didn’t care. Guilt was rising in Orlando’s throat like stomach acid. 6 or 7 miles was now 60 or 70 feet tops, depending on where in the attic he was - if he was above them, it was like 10. 
⛓𓌹*♰*𓌺⛓
For the next hour, Del and Orlando actually did study - but it was more so her tutoring him than it was studying. They worked on statistics homework - which he was taking as now a senior, and she was taking as a junior. It was actually really productive to have someone hold you accountable for your work. While they were wrapping up, noises came from the ceiling, almost sounding like footsteps. It couldn’t be heard really from downstairs, moreso above Orlando’s room. Del looks up, face scrunched in concern. 
“What the fuck was that?” 
Orlando tilts his head up at the ceiling, and in his head, he wants to kick Wayne’s ass. He looks down at her, matching her look of concern - before softening it into understanding, as if he had an epiphany. 
“That? Oh - it’s raccoons. The exterminator couldn’t come today, but they gonna be here sometime this week when I’m home from school.” 
“Must be some fatass raccoons. What’s goin’ in your garbage?” She snorts, raising her eyebrows while shoving textbooks back into her backpack. “Thanks for lettin’ me hang out.” She throws her backpack over her shoulder. A genuine but nervous smile crosses her face. “It was nice to talk to someone I don’t fuckin’ live with.”
“No problem, Cookies. Mi casa is tu casa, or whatever the fuck the saying is.” 
“Delilah! Let’s fuckin’ go!” Bobby shouted from the base of the stairs. 
“Well, gotta go.” She half frowned.
 They both came downstairs, and Orlando opened the front door for them and stepped out of the way so they could walk over the threshold to his porch. 
“Thanks for helpin’ my girl out. Appreciate you.” Bobby remarked, gently bumping his fist against Orlando’s shoulder. Del walked out of the house first and down the steps to the truck door, looking back at the house. Bobby lingered in the doorway, exchanging words with the boy. After another minute, Bobby walks down the driveway as well and to the driver’s side door - opening it with a look of contentment on his face. Del yanked open her door, and waved goodbye to Orlando standing in the doorway. He glances behind him, and goes to close the door. Her gaze lingers. A strange feeling washed over her, like she was being watched or stared at. 
“Del! Get in the fuckin’ truck. I don’t got all afternoon.” 
She climbs inside the truck, and pulls her seatbelt over her lap and clicks it in. She watches the house disappear as they begin their drive home. She felt betterish, now. Like she could have some kind of hope that she’d be okay. It was an hour where her mind wasn’t occupied by Wayne’s absence. 
⛓𓌹*♰*𓌺⛓
Thursday afternoon to that Saturday morning Del visited, Orlando had gone grocery shopping for the three of them - himself, Wayne and his grandma. He and Wayne went shopping for stuff for him - clothes, soap, shoes. Teenage boy essentials. They dropped off stuff to donation centers that they cleaned out of the attic (mostly because it was driving Orlando insane). His grandma’s old clothes, and her weirdly large collection of black Santas. Wayne was getting adjusted to the guest room, despite its smell of mothballs and the floral patterns. The closet was cleaned out for his new clothes, and they found a couple of posters to hang up on the walls to make him feel more at home. 
Saturday afternoon, Orlando told Wayne he had a girl coming over from school - the girl who broke her neck, or something like that. He vaguely remembers her presence before he beat the shit out of someone with a trumpet. He didn’t want her to recognize him and ring any alarms for school police to come and raid his house. Wayne reluctantly agreed, and Orlando pushed him up the steps of the ladder. And he waited. 
All he could think about was seeing Del. He was so close now, and it irritated him that Orlando told him he had to wait. All this time away, and now he is back, and he can’t even see her?
He boredly sifted through what boxes were left in the attic while he waited for this girl to leave. He crept around as quietly as he could, but the floor creaked and whined under his weight. He could hear talking, and then someone yelling. There was a small window that faced the street. Wayne crouched to crawl to it at the end of the ceiling and roofing. He used the sleeve of his sweatshirt to wipe the thick caked on dust off, and peered out the glass. His stomach dropped - feeling like a ton of bricks crushed his ribs. 
Bobby Luccetti’s truck. 
He keeps looking down, his eyes fixed on the truck and felt the heat of the fire igniting, rising to his head - so hot, he could swear steam was coming out of his ears. His hand balled into a fist, and dug his fingernails into his palm. A girl with brown hair tied back in a ponytail and pair of jeans with a white shirt and green apron looked up at the house. 
Del. 
He felt his breath was taken straight from his lungs. He restrained to keep his legs from moving - from dashing down the rungs of the ladder, and down the stairs and out that front door. An older man walked into view, and Wayne recognized him as Bobby. The adrenaline flooded his veins. He watches them get in the car and drive off. The minute the truck starts moving, Wayne throws himself down the ladder, stumbling as fast as he can to get down and looks for Orlando. Orlando was talking up the stairs, and barely made it to the top landing before Wayne grabbed the collar of his shirt in a seething rage. 
“You fuckin’ lied to me.” Orlando’s eyes glanced down at Wayne’s hand, which was white knuckled as he gripped his shirt. 
“Well, technically a girl did come over-” 
“You fuckin’ lied. Del was here.” Orlando was sweating. 
“Man, I couldn’t just have you come down like you a fuckin’ guest star on Family Feud!”
“I need to see her.” 
Orlando pulled on his shirt to try to get out of Wayne’s grasp, pulling the fabric from between his fist. 
“You can’t. Wayne, we ain’t doing shit until we plan, and that means you ain’t doing shit until you plan.” 
“I don’t want to plan. I want to be with Del.” 
Orlando grabbed Wayne’s shoulders, and stared at him square in the eye. 
“Man, you don’t think I want you to be with her too? I do, but we can’t just have you pull up on her and her dad.” Wayne burned holes into Orlando’s eyes and skull. “You don’t know how her old man be raking her over the coals.” 
The fire grew hotter. It felt like he was coming down with a fever. 
“What the fuck does that mean?” 
“She’s been hella workin’, and bustin’ her ass. Cookin’, cleanin’, actually workin’. You show up at her house, and her fuckin’ dad will kill you for real this time. And you’d never ever see her again. Is that what you want?” 
The brief description of how she was being treated made that fire white hot. 
“No. I want Del, though.” 
“So, we gotta plan man.” Orlando shakes Wayne. 
“How?” 
“We start learnin’ their routine. When they work, how long they work. I’m gon’ get into her house and see how that shit functions.” 
“What the fuck am I supposed to do? I’m not gonna fuckin’ sit here.” 
Orlando furrowed his brows in frustration. “Yeah, you kinda are.” 
“Fuck no.” 
“Wayne, you are a fuckin’ walking red flag. You need to lay low, or you’ll get us both in trouble, and your girlfriend’s dad is gonna lock her in a fuckin’ shed if you do somethin’ stupid.” 
“I don’t wanna.” His fixed gaze on his friend made Orlando uncomfortable. He looks away, then back at Wayne. 
“Look man. She misses you too. She don’t talk to nobody, and hasn’t talked to nobody since you been gone. This is the first time she been able to get out the house and her dad was here the whole time. We gotta work up to being able to have him leave her here and pick her up later. Yeah?” 
Wayne looked down at the plush, deep pink carpet. Orlando was right. He knew that to be true. The weight of thinking about the time until he could see her was soul crushing. 
“Yeah.” 
“So, this is what we’re gonna do. I’ll keep impressin’ her old man and get him to trust me enough to leave, and come back when we get that far - you come out that room and y’all can reunite. You gotta trust me on this. It’ll fuckin’ suck, but it needs time.” 
Wayne kept his eyes to the floor. 
“Okay.” 
“Okay. Now, let’s go make dinner. You ain’t livin on no beef jerky and shit anymore. We’re gonna make fettuccine alfredo.” 
2 notes · View notes
khaleesiofalicante · 3 months
Note
Me: Oh thank God exams are over, nothing is worse than that, let's read LBAF
LBAF: ✨️Pain✨️ aka: bitch you hope you still had exams (and I do)
Dani I love you but what on earth was that? And it kept getting worse? Like I had notes about one chapter and reading the next made everything worse? And after reading last night's chapter I want to talk about nothing but my sweet little sunshine snake boy?? Oh Arthur my Arthur you will be missed☀️🐍(until Dani brings you back because if he doesn't come back I will sue).
So, putting everything else on hold for my AJ, like he deserves: I read this book a few years ago, where the day two twins were born, a prophecy was created that the pure one would fall because of the other and because the one was more beautiful they assumed she was the doomed one. So they treated her perfectly and the other one like trash because they thought they knew who they would lose in the end. Of course it turns out they were wrong and all those years they were worried about losing the wrong kid. And I swear when I read it I was so shocked and I thought well next time I'll recognize that plot. Hat's off to you, I didn't recognise it!
I mean, it passed my mind a few times but not like this.Definately not. Caught between Kincaid and Lance perhaps and getting injured, but Lucifer stabbing Arthur to trigger the prophecy was not in my bingo card. Because the two big questions we had and kept getting asked is now answered. Lance can blame Kincaid for losing precious time with Arthur and Kincaid can blame Lance for not protecting Arthur or Arthur dying just for Lance to destroy. Point is, they have solid reasons to hurt one another. What the hell??
But also, so many questions: The different dimensions Arthur saw : first IALS( love that IALS Arthur saw nothing wrong with Jaden/David relationship but LBAF Arthur saw David not melting into Max and went yep that's not dad) then TLND, what was the third one? FMF? Also, the dreams of David and Max crying, was that after his death? He never once mentions what he does in those dreams is it because he is not in them? What about the boy crying? At first, I thought it was David with Albert but you said he can only see the future, is it someone from the future? OH! It could be Arthur himself because he doesn't die he goes somewhere else like David and Rafael (I'm wearing my pink glasses, denial is running through me)
Aslo were there just dreams about the future in the LBAF universe or from other univeries too? Are Arthur's abilities what helped Other Max crack time travel? Is Other Max walking in other dimensions like Arthur or just knows about them because of warlock math?
Honorable mentions
Let's not forget Azazel's looking for powerful blood from eldest curses while Max is selling his blood
To all Hermes supporters: Let's not forget how many times it's been hinted that the Clave trials don't hold a candle to the warlock ones and if Max/Other Max goes to trial Hermes will give out the sentence. I'm sorry but if I have to pick one morally gret warlock to thirst after support I'm picking Max.
Aby putting Madeleine in her place- making Izzy proud and Antoine horny I bet (we readers are a combination of the two I think- I know I was).
That's all I can think without crying. I declare this day the international Love Arthur Jackson Lightwood-Bane day. ☀️💛
PS: Not Lance's last memories of Arthur being him yelling at his brother, Max's being mad at his son and Kincaid's being letting Arthur down and breaking his promise. Bad, this is all BAD.
HELLOOOOOOO.
Congrats on finishing your exams! 💛 Proud of you for making it through and then bingeing all these chapters (how did you do that anyway omg)
That book you mentioned was so fucked up. LIKE THEY MADE THAT DECISION BASED ON HOW THE KIDS LOOKED? I-OKAY THEN.
Let me try to answer SOME questions.
The third dream/vision he saw was Lance and Arthur's room in the Other timeline. I think Other Max mentions somewhere that they lived in a small apartment (after they moved out of the institute) and Lance and Arthur shared a room.
If Arthur doesn't mean what he is doing in a dream, it's most definitely because he isn't there. Most of the time, his dreams are about other people, not himself.
The boy under the bed is not Arthur.
Other Max's abilities/knowledge is no way connected to Arthur's abilities.
Okay, that is all for now. Hope you get some rest because you deserve it after all the hard work!!!! LOVE YOU.
5 notes · View notes
monkey-network · 2 years
Text
Good Stuff: Wendell & Wild
or How to Stop Worrying and Flex with Spirit Again
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It's 2009. We're at our most innocent and optimistic, Bone's final volume came out, and while TV animation was kinda ass at the time, the films we got were like banger after banger. I'm talking Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, the Ed, Edd 'n Eddy movie, El Superbeasto, Redline, Killer Bean Forever, Princess and the Frog, Fantastic Mr. Fox, and Coraline. The latter was not only the start of Laika as a major studio but would be the last film the GOAT Henry Selick would frontline for a long while. Most of us wouldn't think of him while stop-motion was carrying on until the current year when Selick would return announcing a new film of his own. Wendell & Wild marks both the return of the mastermind behind Nightmare Before Christmas and James and the Giant Peach and the reunion of Key & Peele notably since that film starring a gangster cat. For what I can consider a very Blacktober film from the looks of it, it is newfound kino or diminishing returns?
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If we’ll get this out of the way, the story... might be hard to swallow. I’m not gonna sugarcoat, Kat as a protagonist is understandable but annoying. I can see where the incident involving her parents can snowball her into being an isolating punk type, but it was hard finding her likable because of how much she’s a... “buzzkill” is the best word I got. It hurts when I like almost every other character, Raul especially, over her. I dunno, it’s like when most you get from a character is them being frustrated and spiteful, it’s hard to connect, and for being the main focus then the story falters in the mind. 
This goes for my other problem where the third act gets pretty jumbled and honestly feels like the one time I’ll say where they didn’t need a big action sequence. This could’ve been a more grounded affair like I cared about Kat facing her trauma and the big demon literally surfacing from hell to get our titular demon brothers than I did some ugly ass couple trying to build a prison. I think it would’ve worked better if it was just about Kat working with Wendell & Wild to get her parents back only to realize that it was a mistake like it never once crosses her mind that bringing them back is... kinda fucked up? The impact of the story overall feels lighter than, say, Coraline or Paranorman where everything built up before made the revelation stuck. Just saying, Kat’s final line in the movie really sprained the ankle at the finish line if you think about it.
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The duo themselves never disappointed thankfully
But that’s all on the story, what about the visuals? Well... this feels like a definite return to form. Selick mentioned that stop-motion became too smooth over time and I can see where he was coming from with this. I love where it’s not just the puppetry, but the settings feel more of a blend between Rankin-Bass and Aardman. It knows when to make a moment smooth, but you can see they didn’t hide it being stop-motion. That’s not to say stop-motion between this and Coraline couldn’t recapture that older feeling (we just got Mad God this year) but it’s nice seeing Selick, and designer Pablo Lobato, among the many of the animation crew give us something familiar. I’m reminded of the movie Klaus where even if you understand, you can’t believe the lengths they went to trick you in a way. All this while being based on Selick’s original story, I feel like this was Henry looking to flex alongside Phil Tippett, the Daniels, and soon enough Guillermo Del Toro, in the creative flavors they cherished way back. The credits themselves tell me everyone had fun making this movie and I appreciates that the most.
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Scenes like this tickled my animation loving bones
Overall, my time didn’t feel wasted regardless of my issues with the story. If there’s any takeaway it’s that Wendell & Wild is pretty emblematic of this year: you take the bad with the good. Hell any film that can have Death, the black godfathers of Punk music, gets points in my book easily. I say it’s a worthy film to watch a least once for Halloween or Turkey Day, y’know if you can work above my gripes with it. Peele already made kino with Nope but he and Selick made something genuinely special here. Just saying in terms of films, we still eating good this year.
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7 Out of 10; Delightfully Devilish Feature
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2. Visitors
RE8 | Wintersberg | Romance | Action, Sci-Fi
This is the third book in the series. Book One | Book Two
Full Chapter List
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Ethan’s Journal
September 30
Donna’s doing better today.  She had trouble seeing and walking after whatever the hell Karl and Moreau did to her.  I wish they would have just let me handle it.  Still, she’s recovering, and Evie’s been doting on her so it’s okay I guess.  After the surgery Karl came up to smoke and his hands were shaking.  Never seen that before.  I’m not going to let them do that to Salvatore, there’s no point.  I’ll just sneak up from behind him and take it out…I’m just biding my time until I show them that I can actually do it.  I also plan to check on Donna myself soon, just to make sure there's no lasting damage.  (I don't know how to do that, but the thing in my head tells me not to worry about it-it can be done.)
Karl is still mad at me and hasn’t talked much this week since I brought up the fact that his brother gave his one chance at preserving his own life to MIRANDA.  I’m still mad about it, so he can stay quiet for all I care.  He’s been in his own room every night, probably obsessing over that stupid key, or some other mechanical thing.  I think he likes them because they don’t talk back.  So he has nobody to challenge his thoughts.  
We buried Colm’s crystallized body last night….well, our group minus Donna, because she wasn’t able to walk that day.  Godric said ‘somewhere beautiful’, and I figured he’d want to be far away from the castle, since he was imprisoned there.  We chose a spot by the waterfall.  Close to where we had Eva’s ceremony.  Water is supposed to make the Mold’s powers stronger. Plus….can’t see the castle from there.  It probably doesn’t matter since he’s hundreds of years dead, but you never know around here.  I thought maybe he would get absorbed and appear  or something “magic” would happen, but nothing did.  I really hope there’s some way for him to be reunited with the King.  
Guess what?  No fucking purifying crystal in his tomb.  Because OF COURSE nothing is ever that easy around here.  I was so mad.  The Black God was madder.  Now we have no other leads on where it might be.  I’m not sure it’s necessary to defeat Miranda, but things would be really bad if she found it before us.  And she’s really trying.  
Eva was really intrigued by the crystal on the tomb crest though.  It’s one of the original crystals in the ancient root (she was shocked I knew that) So we have that one now, but none of us can touch it.  Karl had to pry it out and it made his nose drip with black fluid. He put it in a magnetized box and carried that, but it still hurt him somehow. He said energy was moving through the magnetic field.   That thing is more dangerous than the explosives Chris brought.  It’s in a locked safe in our basement.   
Alcina came with us to the castle when we unearthed the underground chamber, but she didn’t stay after.  She more or less locked herself in the castle.  I told the others about her plan and they were really upset.  Well, Karl wasn’t upset…he was quiet.  I think Donna and Moreau have been brainwashed by Miranda into thinking their lives are only worthwhile if the Lords are all together.  
I don’t know if they think she’ll go through with it.  They weren’t there when she talked to Godric…I can feel it….she wants this.  I honestly don’t think Alcina cares about saving the mold or any of us, and that might not happen anyway–she just seems lonely.  I told her I would stop by tonight after the girls are in bed and see how she’s feeling.  I’ll invite Eva with me, she’s always better at talking than I am.  
Moreau moved back to his cabin, which is now finished.  There are several other buildings getting built down there too.  They even have electricity.  He and Karl have been working like crazy…he says it’s because government workers are supposed to start the sluice in a few weeks.  I just feel like everybody is still avoiding me, because they are.  I don’t care. 
If I squint when looking into the valley it almost looks like a shadow of a village.  Roofs, and smoke, and a road, and some fencing.  It should make me feel better-Chris said to blend in, after all- but it doesn’t….I hate looking at it.  I feel like Miranda is lurking just under the ground like some kind of Billy Goats gruff troll, waiting to pop up and ruin everything.  
—--------
Ethan’s pencil hovered over the sketch; his phone buzzed, and he turned it over.  A text from Chris.  
Convoy headed your way.  
The blond frowned, and he responded, Who ? 
Donno.  The picture I got just looked like wagons.  From the east mountains. 
Oh, that’s where the Roma village is.  Wait, you have eyes on me? 
Not on you, on anything suspicious with the mold.  
They’re not suspicious.  You’re suspicious. 
Fine, next time I’ll just let you be surprised.  
Ethan smirked and tucked the phone in his pocket.  He stared out at the stormy afternoon sky; even cloud-covered days were difficult for his eyes.  He wondered how Miranda dealt with this, if she’d gone through similar.  Or even Godric.  He left the journal sitting open on his desk as he left the office, and headed downstairs.  
The girls were in the parlor, with Donna laying on the couch.  The children were on the floor playing with toys–was that a dollhouse? Ethan shuddered imperceptibly as he moved past it, hearing the familiar rumble of Karl’s voice in the front yard.  When he exited, he saw the engineer and his ‘sibling’ loading some of the recently shipped parts into Karl’s truck.  Ever since the bank moved funds for the construction effort, more and more supplies arrived, delivered to the property’s address.  
Karl’s eyes only flickered toward Ethan for a moment before he resumed his conversation with Moreau, and the tall blond put his hands in his jean pockets as he approached the pair.  Salvatore may have been a doofus, but even he recognized the strain between the two men, and his watery eyes jumped cautiously between them before he backed away.  He stuttered about forgetting something in one of the work sheds that sloped away from the tall home.  
Karl made an annoyed noise as if he were disappointed that the other gave up so easily.  But then he turned right back to his work, inspecting a large stack of PVC pipe.  Ethan was undaunted by Heisenberg’s clear lack of desire to talk.  
“Why are the Roma coming?”
“What?”  This was not the banter Karl expected.  His suddenly piercing stare was something Ethan didn’t even realize he missed; his heart picked up, and then he saw the hardness in Karl’s eyes soften.  Karl’s gaze changed from confrontational to something else….adoration?  Right, the bastard could sense heartbeats.  Ethan was utterly flustered and he turned bright pink, winning a lopsided smile from the engineer.  
Ethan tried to recover after the fumble.  “There’s a convoy of carriages, apparently, from the East.” 
“How d’you know?”
After a tense moment, in which Ethan kicked at the gravel, he mumbled, “Chris told me,” before he dared to look at Heisenberg again.  He saw the other’s fixated gaze, almost a hungry look, aimed at Ethan’s lips.  When Ethan caught this, Heisenberg squinted as if angry, and then turned toward the lumber pile instead.  “Uh huh.” 
“I didn’t ask him to spy,” Ethan hissed, instantly defensive, as Karl picked up an armful of lumber and began to move it into the bed of the truck.  “But if you didn’t know about it….has Eva said anything?”
“No,” Karl said in a clipped tone, returning to the pile, dusting his gloves as he moved.  “It’ll be fine, Ethan.” 
“I…” Ethan was bewildered.  “I know it’ll be fine.  I’m not worried about it.  I just wondered why they were coming.” 
At Karl’s aimless shrug, the blond’s temper threatened to break.  He pursed his lips.  “You’re being an asshole.” 
“Probably.” 
“Care to enlighten me as to why?”
“Just tryin’ to avoid a fuckin’ interrogation, that’s all,” Karl responded in twice as bitchy of a tone as the original question.  He moved back toward the truck, arms full of more two by fours.  “Apparently I’m not succeeding.” 
“Forgive me for having your best interests in mind, for wanting to make sure I understand a situation I know nothing about, since the guy supposed to be telling me about his life has fifty year gaps between stories, speaks two words every twelve hours, and would rather be alone and hang out with ghosts than….” 
There were a few problems with Ethan’s rant.  The first was that he realized, more or less, any of them could be considered ghosts, himself included.  The second was that Ethan had been referring to Karl’s brother, but he remembered the figure in the garden, and instantly felt regret at his words.  
The third problem was Karl’s expression; instead of the usual headstrong, stubborn anger, the engineer’s scarred face was painted with hurt-a new look, and not one Ethan had ever wanted to see.  He swore the yellow irises lost their luster for a moment as Karl panned his gaze away from Ethan, turning on a heel toward the same work shed that Salvatore was probably huddled in.  
Ethan let him go without further protest, and shook his head at his own temper after several moments.  
Way to keep it together, Ethan .  That was his own voice.  
As he re-entered the home, he heard the different, softer voice, whispering at the edges of the back of his mind.  It sounded confused, and perhaps affronted at the deep sorrow that Ethan transmitted to it unintentionally. 
Should we….eat him? 
Ethan responded aloud, drawing a strange look from Donna.  “Nah…too gamey.” 
—---
Eva hadn’t heard anything about a visit, but she was delighted.  Ethan felt so out of place after his outburst that he stood in the kitchen, doing whatever she asked him to.  Eva was undaunted at the idea of preparing food for an unplanned group.  He felt like more of a menace than a help, despite her patience, and was relieved when he heard a horse whinny from the road that wrapped around the east side of the manor, away from the village overlook and the factory remains. 
“Come on, girls,” Ethan said thankfully, “Let’s go say hello to our guests.”  
“Why are there guests?” Evie said, puzzled, and Ethan answered honestly, “I have no idea.” 
Rose hopped up, and immediately pulled Ethan’s hand in her own tiny one.  She was talking excitedly, though he couldn’t catch most of the words.  Together the trio exited the home and stood in the large front area, awaiting the caravan.  It wasn’t long before several carriages lined up in the wide stretch of dirt and gravel, and Ethan stared past them in confusion at –
“Horsies!”  Rose exclaimed.  “Dada, tell Papa.” 
“What?”  Ethan picked the toddler up, in case she decided on a kamikaze sprint toward the row of approaching wagons.  She bounced on his hip, babbling about horses again.  Evie tilted her dark head, her waves cascading across her oval face.  “Why are there extra horses? Nobody’s riding the ones in the back.” 
“No clue,” Ethan repeated, and he stepped aside as Karl sauntered out toward the convoy, waving amiably at the drivers, some of whom Ethan recognized from the night of Eva’s ceremony.  His heart sank a little when he remembered how well he and Karl were getting along then compared to now, but he was soon distracted by Rose again. 
“Papa!”
Not only was she reaching out toward Heisenberg, but the engineer turned abruptly at the word, looking slightly stunned at it.  Ethan’s eyes widened and Karl turned fully toward him, holding his hands out uncertainly toward Rose.  Ethan had no reason not to hand the girl to him, and as he did so, she informed Karl, “Papa, horses!” 
Both men were rendered speechless, but Eveline was not, as she said rather matter-of-factly, “Ohhhh, I get it!   You’re Dad and you’re Papa, that makes knowing which is which waaaay easier.”  She stared past Ethan at the engineer.  “Should I call you Papa too?  But you can’t be our Papa, you two are not married.  Are you going to get married?  Do you have rings?  Are you not going to get married since you’re mad at each other right now?” 
“Okaaaay, Evie, let’s maybe-talk-aboutall-thislater,” Ethan sputtered, his cheeks flaming, and put his hands on the girl’s shoulders.  She stared in confusion while Rose continued to excitedly shout about horses.  The wagons were parked along the end of the driveway, and some people were beginning to exit them.  Karl held Rose on his hip, engrossed in what she was telling him.  
Luckily Ethan didn’t have to wrestle with all of his emotions for long, as Maricara was approaching, a wide smile on her face.  She walked with assistance from one of her sons, and a cane.  When she got to Ethan, she embraced him in the warm way she’d formerly reserved for Karl.  After the greeting, she chuckled, “I suppose this is very unexpected–”
“More or less–”
A man approached.  Ethan recognized him-he’d been at the village mass funeral, as well as led the carriages for Eva’s ceremony.  Manfri.  His English was very broken, but he was friendly enough, and heartily shook Ethan’s hand–so hard the blond’s teeth chattered in his skull.  
“Mister Winters,” he said formally, and even more formally, “My Lord Heisenberg.”  
“Manfri has a surgery scheduled in a month,” Maricara explained.  “It’s his hip.  His son is out of the country for work, and he worries about these–”
“Horses better to overwinter here,” he said proudly, as if he’d rehearsed every word.  Eva approached the group from behind as Manfri continued to explain, “You have stables!  They come home.”
“O-over winter–here?” Karl’s eyes were wide.  “I…didn’t, I haven’t…”
Maricara was having none of it.  “Did you not spend the entire month of July repairing the main stables?  What were you planning to store there, more trucks?  Tanks?  Keeping your goat company with metal structures?”
Probably , Ethan thought with a satisfied smirk as he met Karl’s eyes.  Karl looked troubled, overwhelmed.  “But–I–there’s no hay–”
Donna had been walking slowly behind Eva, also utilizing a cane, and Maricara stepped forward to hug both women, tutting at Donna’s delicate state, before she withdrew and chuffed at Heisenberg’s hesitance. 
“Nonsense, it’s harvest time, and we have many strong young ones.”  Her careless arm waving made Ethan wonder if she was somehow related to Karl after all. “These youth have been begging to come, truly.”  She poked a finger at Ethan with a wink.  “Your talk of helping them with computers, for one.  For other, they wish to make a settlement down there.  By the river.  You know, they are not afraid, they have no regard for tradition.  Only want to be here.” 
“They do?”
She waved a hand as if this was the most obvious thing  in the world.  “They think it is strange and different, your world.  Ceremony made quite the impression.  All I hear about is fairytale this, magic that, they wish to stay…so I told them for permission, first they must help set up the horses.  Help with stabling and overwintering, what you need.” 
Manfri was nodding, and he gestured toward the row of horses behind them.  “They miss their Papa, you know?” 
Ethan was unsure how to accept the news of being given ownership of horses apparently descended from Heisenberg stock.  But when he turned his gaze from the horses to Heisenberg, who was quickly running out of excuses to say no, the expression on the engineer’s face said it all.  Ethan’s hardened heart melted as he saw the way that Heisenberg gazed toward the animals.  Without a word Heisenberg broke away from the group, still carrying Rose, and strode toward the horses, heading first toward the black draught horse that he’d ridden several times.  
In the dimming light, Ethan watched as Karl ran his palm down the animal’s neck, and actually put his forehead on its mane, a gesture that it returned by turning its head, pushing forward with its nose as if to embrace him.  Rose laid her curly head onto the wide, smooth neck as well, patting it with her hand in an imitation of Karl’s motion.  The other horses were restless, stomping and chuffing as if they too wanted recognition.  Ethan counted seven in total–SEVEN horses.  He’d been overwhelmed with just one goat.  
Then again, he’d also been overwhelmed with one daughter.  And he’d gained an entire family since then.  When Heisenberg turned back toward them, his questioning expression was clear.  He wanted them.  But he was deferring to Ethan.  
Ethan only had one question–the sight of bloody, decapitated, sometimes half-eaten horses was only one bad night’s sleep away, after all.  
“Will they be safe here?”
Donna’s voice was more steady than he’d heard in awhile.  “The stable is wonderfully sturdy, it was rebuilt well.” 
Manfri chipped in, “All our boys have guns.  Ready to shoot wolves….” his grin turned into a grimace, “...or ….other….  They will protect.” 
“The stables are on this property, where there doesn’t seem to be as much of a reach…,” Eva offered, her blond eyebrows raising.  “She cannot cause things to manifest closely to the edge of that border….you now know why.”  She was referring to the garden.  
Evie was bouncing on the balls of her feet, each word more loud than the last.  Maricara chuckled as she witnessed this.  “Can we can we can we oh please can we? HORSES, are you kidding me?  I would be just like a fairytale princess PLEASE CAN WE.” 
Rose agreed with this.  “HORSIES! PAPA, DADA–LOOK! LOOK! HORSIES!” 
The commotion quickly wore Ethan down; Eva was bouncing on her toes as well, Donna’s large brown eyes stared at him, full of hopefulness.  Karl was still stroking the neck of the draught horse.  
After laughing, Ethan shrugged.  “All right! How can I say no?”
Manfri beamed, and began to walk in his odd, stooped way past the group and toward the stable.  He called to the young handlers in Romany, motioning them all forward. He happily moved across the front area and toward the trail to the stables, as though he’d lived at the manor his entire life.  
Ethan watched him go with a continued smile; everyone else was happy, and Evie bolted to walk next to Manfri, pelting him with questions he didn’t know enough English to answer.  Ethan was pulled away by Maricara as she explained the dinner she’d brought, and as Eva began counter-explaining that they were also cooking, the tall blond caught one last look over his shoulder at Karl.  
This time, the new expression on his face was infatuation, a heady, overwhelmed look of gratitude and wonder.  It made him look decades younger.  
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speakingagain · 3 months
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So I got that Shadow Work journal that's all over tiktok, but I got it like 6 months ago and then lost it till last week. I'm good at doing that.
Anyways, i did a few of the first exercises in the book and it asked about things from my childhood that still upset or make me angry. And as I filled out a few pages worth, I realized that I'm mad over something I had no control of from when I was like 6 years old. If I do my math right at 2:30 in the morning, that's 16 years. No. Wait...18? Hold up. 24-6.....18 years. Yeah. Okay, I was close.
Eighteen freaking years of being pissed off. That's shit that you would hear from the grumpy old man dying from liver failure would say. Not a 24 year old. That's a lot of hate to hold onto. And I had several pages of shit I'm still upset about.
I would never have considered myself to be an angry person. Ever. But my examples of "angry people" has been pretty... extreme. My sperm donor (father) is a very angry person. He always has been. I remember we came home one time from getting groceries and he threw a frozen solid box of lasagna at the family dog because it pooped inside because we had been gone for hours and had no way to get outside.
That was one of his calmer episodes too.
My little brother (step that technically doesn't count) used to run around screaming and breaking things because he wouldn't get his way. He once got so mad over something when he got picked up from the bus stop that he burst a blood vessel in his nose and had a really bad bloody nose. I didn't think that was actually possible, I thought it only happened to horny teenage boys in anime.
My soon to be ex husband has the emotional regulation skills of a toddler. He used to boast about how he put another kid's head through a window because they made fun of his sister. Or when his mom's car (that we had been using while she was out of town) got repo-ed, I was on the non emergency line too figure out what happened to the car and he came in screaming and breaking things. The woman on the other line asked if I needed help. That was when I first realized I was experiencing domestic abuse but I thought it was just a moment of weakness and her could change and I loved him so much that I would stand by him through these trials. "But Daddy, I love him!" Right? Yeah I know.
Anyways, that kind of thing was always normal for me. That's what I used to think of when they said 'angry person'.
But that's me. I am the angry person.
Now granted, I never hit anyone, or broke someone's stuff or anything like that. But that's honestly just kind of the bare minimum for being able to regulate your emotions. And I don't want to be angry. I hate being angry. It's so much effort. So I made a plan to work on forgiving.
First, I wanted to learn more about what it actually means to forgive. My father always told me that "God wants us to forgive and forget." And that never made sense to me because of someone hurts you, why would you forget they did it and just let them do it again? Turns out he's actually just a manipulative asshole, who knew?
My ex, when I would call him on his bullshit used to ask me, "how long are you going to hold that against me?" (My favorite was when he asked if we could take turns sleeping on the couch after I found out he was cheating on me for the last 2 years and I laughed and told him 'fuck no'. He genuinely couldn't understand why I would disagree to that, so I told him, "because I wasn't the one who couldn't keep it in my pants". He left the house for an hour and came back pouting.) He also was a manipulative asshole but he was also really bad at it. But him always asking this made me question what the difference is between holding someone accountable and holding a grudge and learning from the pain they caused you.
So I've been doing some research. And there's a lot of differences of opinions on the topic of forgiveness. Mainly between the religious definitions and the basic definition I found in Webster's dictionary. And then there's the psychologic mumbo jumbo to understand too. I actually haven't come up with a solid answer on when it crosses the boundary between remembering and learning from the pain to holding a grudge.
And I imagine I will get probably the same confusing answers if I ask those around me. Everyone has different beliefs and experiences so no one will have the same opinion on it. I'm wondering if it is a subjective concept, and it will have to be something I can only judge in the moment.
Or maybe I'm just still feeling the effects of being manipulated over it. Who knows?
The next step for figuring out how to forgive and move on is to look at things I need to forgive, and figure out if I need to forgive them, or forgive myself. So, I made a shit list.
So far, I have a few people on it because I kept falling asleep while writing it (shh don't tell my boss). I plan on adding more once I have more of a decent brain process and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I had three columns:
Who?
Did what?
Why should I forgive?
And it was really kind of cathartic and eye opening to write down things like "I deserve to be happy." "I deserve to be safe." "I deserve to be seen and heard." " I deserve to be healthy. " My 'Ah-ha!' moment or my 'oh shit' moment I guess.
I now need to decide how I'm going to get myself closure. For example, I can talk to my mom and tell her that her making comments about how much I eat makes me feel like shit and that some things just don't need to be said. But I'm not going to reach out to my sperm donor and say "hey, remember when you called me a wh**e because I wouldn't let you hold my hand?....the fuck you mean no? I moved out that night????" I'd get no closure and I'd probably just end up more pissed off than I am now.
It would be a waste of my time and effort and quite frankly, it would be like talking to a really dumb brick wall. So what else could I do?
Kick him in the shin? That's called assault and I wouldn't make it in jail.
Make a voodoo doll of him and have someone else kick him in the shin? While that sounds hilarious, I don't know any voodoo and I ain't messing with the shadow man.
So maybe I'll just write out a long ass letter and light it on fire while screaming "suck my dick" into the abyss. Seems cathartic enough? I dunno, that one may also require years of therapy. But we will get there eventually. Hopefully.
Any suggestions?
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