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#His pov is painful
add1ctedt0you · 10 months
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Jiang cheng, after Lotus pier's fall
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ecoterrorist-katara · 2 months
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I love fics where the Gaang finds out about the story behind Zuko’s scar. That said, I still think Zuko and Katara’s interaction in Crossroads of Destiny is the most powerful scar scene possible, precisely because Katara does not get his backstory, yet treats him with compassion anyway.
From The Storm onwards, Zuko’s scar becomes a symbol to the audience. Zuko’s scar is inextricable from his inherent goodness, which is constantly warring with his desire to please his cruel father. I think that’s why fans are so eager to see the Gaang find out the story behind his scar — so that the Gaang can see Zuko the way we’ve seen Zuko since season 1, so that they can understand the full tragedy of his story, and so that Zuko can get the comfort he really, really needs and deserves.
But Katara doesn’t offer to heal his scar because he’s good, or because she’s appalled that his father was abusive and awful. She offers to heal his scar because she sees that he’s hurting, and she wants to make that hurt go away. Knowing his backstory would not have made her act any differently, because she had already offered the full extent of her compassion. Katara knows firsthand what he’s capable of. She’s seen him at his very lowest. Yet she chooses to comfort him anyway.
And Zuko — Zuko, for whom pain is about as natural as breathing, who doesn’t care if he lives or dies, whose list of “people who have seen the worst of him and care about him anyway” starts and ends with his uncle, who knows full well that Katara travels with both the literal hope of the world and her own brother…no wonder he lets her touch his scar. No wonder he wants her forgiveness so badly. No wonder he jumps in front of lightning for her and reaches for her while he’s literally dying. Because Katara didn’t see the good in him: she saw the human in him. Because to a girl defined by her compassion, they were the same thing. And to a boy who had been desperately trying to bury his own humanity, it was everything.
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rainydaygt · 5 months
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g/t and hrt?? anyone?
(none of the below is intended to be romantic unless you want it to be! interpret this how you wish)
from the giant’s pov;
the tiny sitting on their shoulder, patting their cheek and telling them how brave they are, etc. while administering their shot
the tiny being the one to put the band aid on and giving it a little healing kiss
them scooting around the giant’s leg afterwards, carefully massaging the area so it isn’t so sore later
the giant scooping the tiny into their hands and holding onto them like a lifeline (because needles scary), but being careful not to squeeze too tight
the tiny wrapping their arms tightly around the giant’s finger to keep them grounded and present, chirping sweetly about how it’s all over and they did great and how proud they are
when the giant is having mood swings and really bad pms, the tiny is always acting as their anchor, telling them to look at them and having this magical ability to almost instantly calm/reassure them
the little guy not minding being used as a fidget toy when their big buddy is feeling particularly anxious
“soon enough you might even be almost as big and strong as me!”
(e alternative)
“you might even be as cute as me someday”
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cleromancy · 5 months
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to me i dont think that nonserious physical injuries are real to jason at all like they barely register whether they're on him or on someone else, but to tim things like little cuts and scrapes are 1. concrete problems 2. that he can do something about, so they light up the center of his brain that goes "TIMMY FIX"
and it sincerely doesnt matter who it is who has the scrapes like tim by default is going to try to fix anything he perceives as within his power to fix. thats who he is thats what he does. like yeah he probably wouldnt go out of his way to do it for someone super evil like sionis or someone he, personally, really hates like digger harkness or if he happens to be really mad at that person right that minute but otherwise. at minimum hes making sure *somebody* sees to their minor injuries.
and i just :chinhands: i like to think about jason realizing that tim cares by default about it when something happens like jason cuts himself while chopping vegetables. like jason blows him off and tells him to calm down and tims like a dog with a bone when he feels the need so like no actually you're going to sit down and accept your bandaid and neosporin. and jasons so baffled like tim im a grown ass 20 or 30 year old man i can get my own band aid. but just having someone consistently notice and care about small hurts that not even jason notices or cares about
and its once again literally not bc jason is special. its just that tim by default cares about people and jason is, technically, people. bc tim is not at all a subscriber to jasons school of thought that people ever stop being people, therefore tim is not going to ever think jason should stop being treated like a person. but theres jason understanding that cerebrally and then there's being regularly confronted with the fact that if jason is careless and burns his hand by accident tims going to make him put his hand under cold water because that matters to him. that regular, automatic care about little things not even jason cares about. and jason going from bewilderment to mild irritation to understanding to 🥺🥺 to. inevitably kind of wanting to get hurt on purpose just to get more of that and also just to test to make sure its not a fluke. They
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faeriekit · 3 months
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Health and Hybrids (XX)👽👻💚
[I can't remember the original prompt posters  for the life of me but here's a mashup between a cryptid!Danny, presumed-alien!Danny, dp x dc, and the prompt made the one body horror meat grinder fic.]
🖤Chapter navigation can be found here🖤 Click to browse previous updates.
💚 Ao3 Is here for all parts (now featuring mediocre mouseover translations, only available on a computer)
Where we last left off... A LOT of readers google what an "ostomy bag" is! Danny reestablishes his comfort with the Arabic numeral system!
Trigger warnings for this story:  body horror | gore | post-dissection fic | dehumanization (probably) |  my nonexistent attempts at following DC canon. On with the show.
💚👻👽👻💚
The next time Diana comes to visit her charge, her gloves are blue. Her scrubs are a pale pink. She is given a new face mask, and a new hair net, and walks through the double doors without needing to be buzzed in.
Alright. Perhaps the boy is not genuinely “her charge”. Still, he is hers to protect and to keep; although her position is, officially, as security to the medical team working with their young patient, the medical team knows as well as she does that the boy does not genuinely intend harm.
Is he prone to outbursts? Perhaps, but very few of them are powered. It is entirely understandable too, according to the mental health professionals on board the Watchtower: trauma affects how well one comports oneself and how one interprets their environment. They may see things, hear things, or misunderstand things, and believe they are under threat. The circumstance makes for a great deal of residual fear and mistrust.
Diana was once raised amongst communities of women with few untouched by battle fatigue. She recognizes the signs of lost time and of reawoken fear. She understands what battle-weary warriors are truly fighting against.
A doctor and a nurse mumble a greeting as Diana passes by them. “Morning, Wonder Woman.”
“Good evening,” Diana returns, eyes crinkling. One nurse visibly glances out the window—and then smiles, sheepishly, having forgotten their location in space. Time zones on the Watchtower are often…flexible; Diana, however, has only just returned from her day job. “How is the patient?”
A doctor jerks their head towards the monitor. It is only ever left on if no one else is in the room; privacy is key to recovery. The active monitor means that the medical team has left him alone for now. “Take a look. You might have to go kid wrangling again, Ma’am.”
Alright. Diana obliges them.
On the monitor, in little stick-figure form, are three figures, all sitting or crowded around the room’s singular bed. Her patient sits in his little white gown, legs still as ever, as Impulse drapes himself across the bedspread, and Robin (ex-Robin? Third Robin? Doesn’t he have a new name now?) stands at the bedside.
The Speedster wiggles, mouthing out words she can’t hear without a microphone. Robin is focused on something in his hand—a tablet, perhaps? If Impulse is chattering into the air, then Robin is short on answers; her charge, in comparison, looks back and forth between them, likely unable to understand what the two are up to.
Diana’s mask catches her sigh. “Busy, are they?”
“Do you think you can hold the red one down long enough for a refresher on proper PPE usage?” the doctor begs. The question appears to be genuine. “They just zoomed in a little bit ago. We’ve been trying not to disturb them, but without masks and gloves…”
…Her charge was still at risk for possible contamination or infection, as they couldn’t get consistently accurate test results on his immune system. Diana hummed. She could see the problem.
“I shall. Buzz me in, if you will.”
“Yes, ma’am!”
The door clicks open. Diana strides through, unafraid of teenagers or similar ilk, and content with her position as designated scolder.
And, to his credit, the Robin at her charge’s bedside recognizes Diana’s lack of enthusiasm with the situation, and winces with artful precision. Silly boy— as if Diana would believe that any Bat would be ashamed of breaking a rule if they had already chosen to break it. She cannot help but be fond of each Bird’s eccentricities in their own ways. Robin hides the contraband food in his hand behind his back.
Impulse, however, hardly notices her approach, draped over her charge’s casts as he is—a whiteboard in his hand, furiously scribbling away at whatever attempt at communication he has decided to test today. Having met several male teenagers in her recent years, there is a decent chance he has been drawing genitalia as well.
Diana politely coughs into her mask. The gesture is entirely performative. Robin responds by hiding a separate can of energy drink—opened—on the side table behind him, in the hopes of hiding it from view.
Impulse, who failed to notice her arrival, continues to scribble. Occasionally there will be a burst of superspeed, but it will be in contained little bursts. He likely either wants to preserve the marker, or he is taking more care with his attempted art than usual.
Her charge looks up.
His eyes are still a concern—glazed with a green film, they jitter back and forth ever so slightly when he tries to focus on any one object in particular. He hasn’t indicated any discomfort with his eyesight, however, so it hasn’t been addressed beyond documentation.
The crack in his face—from two inches above his white, nebulous hairline and trailing down to his chin—is visible evidence of an injury or gouge of some sort, with new pink skin all around the edges as the only visible sign of inhuman levels of healing. Diana has seen a number of scars, and a number of healed, gaping wounds, but it is occasionally unsettling to set eyes on her charge and see the still-healing brain matter, skull, and inner sinus cavity through a viscous, green, not-quite-organic wound filling material.
There seems to be a consistent rate of healing, though. Diana can only hope that recovery is possible.
“Good afternoon,” Diana greets softly. Her charge’s discolored fingers flex as his face turns to look at her. “Are you well?”
His green-tinged lips part and then come together again. He’s not not paying attention—he listens very well, and has begun to use certain words in English to compensate for his need for communication. That being said, Diana has little idea what he is and is not capable of understanding.
Impulse, however, finally recognizes the newest occupant in the room. “Wonder Woman! Uh—we totally had permission to be here this time! Promise!!” he offers, immediately switching from someone gleeful to see her from someone remembering their misdeeds.
Diana is very lucky that her mask covers her fond smile. If it is her job to be stern today, she ought to live up to the task. “Did you, now?”
Impulse beams sheepishly, and rolls off of the casts of a bemused half-alien boy. “Yes! Remember last time when the nurses all said I could ‘come whenever’ and ‘bring a friend’ and—“
“You were asked to buzz in ahead of time and put on your protective gear?” Diana finishes, wry. Before she is able to scruff him appropriately, however, the superpowered boy is already gone and back—now with an askew hairnet, an upside-down surgical mask, and gloves a size too large for his hands.
“So I did that!” Impulse protests, the mask moving unnaturally over his face. “Look! All dressed up!”
It is a well-intended last minute effort. Alas, it would all be for naught. Diana scoops up a squawking speedster by the nape, and a now-blinded-by-a-misplaced-surgical-mask Robin, and trots them both back to larger medical.
“One moment!” Diana tosses back to her charge, who is, understandably, concerned.
Still. It takes Wonder Woman, two nurses, and a paraprofessional to successfully sanitize and gear up an uncooperative speedster. Robin sulks through the entire process, but capitulates to it with more grace.
Her charge’s green eyes shine and his fingers curl around his few personal possessions as Diana returns to him his companions; she wishes, so dearly, that she could ruffle his pale hair. “All done!”
The teenaged heroes sprawl across his bed just as casually as they had before—if better prepared for their environment. Robin largely gives her charge his space, careful not to impede where he isn’t wanted, but Impulse freely shares affection that her charge, at least, does not visibly deny.
Diana has her own routine to complete. She heads for the intravenous injection bags, pulls out a fresh one, and cracks the seal. After that, it’s shaking to mix the concoction and a fresh replacement.
Impulse grabs one of the toys off of her charge’s side table and brings it into his lap. The board is tilted, and all the slotted-in pieces fall out. He spends some time sorting them by shape, and then by color, until her charge lifts trembling fingers to pick them up, very carefully, one by one.
She’s impressed. His pincer grasp recovery has not been consistently smooth sailing. “Excellent work,” she praises.
Robin looks up from his tablet. Impulse looks back at her and beams. Her charge gives her a brief look, observes that she doesn’t need anything from him at the moment, and gets back to sorting the little pieces back into their allotted slot.
Impulse rests his chin on the steel arm bar of her charge’s cot. The pose seems…uncomfortable. “Hey, Tim. He got them all right.”
Timothy Robin taps away at his tablet—no doubt taking down documentation of his own. Diana can’t help but feel affection; every Bat and every Bird is so nosy, but if she wants to actually see those notes on her charge, she will have to press Batman for them with a reasonably-sized threat.
“Really?” Robin asks, eyes on the screen. “Do you think the pieces were matched based on color, or actual understanding of the numerical system?”
Diana looks down, line in her hand as she reconnects the intravenous bag. The toy in her charge’s lap is a mock clock face. Each of the numbers is printed onto the removable piece, in different cut-out shapes, and painted different colors.
The atmosphere changes. The air itself tastes different—something like electricity sparks on her tongue. And then it’s gone.
“No, he’s looking to put the clock face back in order, specifically,” Impulse confirms. Ah. Speedforce. Diana should have been able to recognize the feeling by now. “He’s kind of annoyed, actually. It’s like a baby toy.”
“Well, it is a baby toy.” Robin taps away.
“Yeah, that’s why it’s annoying. He knows he should be able to do it.”
Impulse buzzes again, and her charge hums, stuffing his flat hand between the board and the sheet until he can tip it over without grabbing at it. He repeats the same process, the only difficulty stemming from his shaking grip and his shaking eyes.
The urge to pull him close and pet his hair is understandable, Diana reminds herself, but not conducive to his long-term comfort. She smiles at him, as best as she can behind a surgical mask, and discreetly checks his drainage bags to see if they need replacing while she’s already close.
“All’s well,” she declares at last, finished with anything that isn’t social. Thankfully, having two teenagers in the room takes care of her charge’s most frequent issue—boredom. She claps her hands together, and her charge looks up at her, eyes vibrating. “Do you require anything?”
Her charge looks at her. Her charge looks at his friend. “Ouatair?” he tries to enunciate, tongue thick against the green-filled split in his hard palate. “Pleese?”
“Ithinkhewantssomewater,” Impulse rushes to translate, but Diana already knows this request. The water provided is chilled in a refrigerator, and it takes no time for her to find sanitized cup and straw—steel, so as to be safe when dropped, and relatively uncrushable, with a handle for simple gripping.
She presents it to him grip-first. His expression is grateful, and frustrated. No warrior wishes to be in the position of needing constant. Diana can understand the wish to do things on his own.
“Soon,” Diana offers, voice a whisper. “You’re already better off than before.”
Her charge grumbles into his cup. His tongue, half-green, finds the straw for him; he chomps down on the straw, slurps as loudly as he can, and sulks.
Teenagers. Diana finds herself unable to understand how Bruce has so many of them, and understands perfectly well how easy it is to take on a child in need and make them your own.
The cup goes back onto the side-table, half-empty.
“Hey,” Robin starts again. He puts his tablet to the side. The white board is pulled out of Impulse's hands and goes onto her charge's lap, and with only a little whining. “How’s this?”
Her charge mumbles something neutral. His eyebrows scrunch together, but he takes the offered blue marker from Impulse and lets the boy uncap it for him.
“Yeah, it’s more adult or whatever,” Impulse encourages. Her charge sticks out a green-mottled tongue, but takes the marker to the white board and writes. Robin peers over his shoulder to watch. “It’s just the alphabet. A, B, C, D~!”
Her charge hums the tune back to him, continuing seamlessly where Impulse left off. The teen hero beams.
Diana stills.
“Yeah, you got it!” Impulse encourages, and peeks over the edge of the board to see her charge hard at work. His letters are wobbly, certainly, and there are some that he misses, but the alphabet song is a longstanding English-language tradition. He know it. He knows it by rote.
“You missed the ampersand,” Impulse points out. Her charge scowls through the fissure in his face.
…There is no reason for Diana to get excited. Yet. Robin-the-former is already jotting down his own notes, pleased with his observations. There are many reasons and many ways this teenager might have picked up the song. J’onn famously picked up on Earth’s radiowaves before being transported to Earth; this could be further evidence that her charge has some connection to Earth, or it could be a connection to something more bizarre and unusual.
There is no shortage of unusual events these days.
And, of course, Diana runs out of things to do. She smooths down her charge’s blanket, which he hardly notices in his frustration. She refills his water. She is tempted to go grab her copy of The Art of War from her bag in the other room, which she has read before, but which she is rereading at behest of Bruce’s newest initiative: Tactical Book Club. She is optimistic about the opportunities for further education this will provide her comrades-in-arms, if not underwhelmed by the reading material. As long as the teenage heroes are in the room, Diana is obligated to remain with them, in the event that the danger level might…fluctuate. A book would give at least the semblance of privacy to the three.
Her charge makes a noise. “Hay!”
Diana looks up. In shaky hands, resting on his lap, he holds up a largely complete alphabet. There are one or two shaky letters—thorn, which is fairly common, and eth, perhaps less so—but otherwise carefully drawn, very neatly done.
“Excellently done,” Diana praises. The alphabet is a triumph of the physical work it takes to heal.
Her charge beams through his craggy face, buzzing with delight.
"I dunno," Impulse teases, upside down on her charge's legs. "They're kinda wonky."
The boy's face scrunches, smears the color away with a swipe of his arm, and draws something else.
The board shakes with his exertion as he lifts it back into place on his lap, and Diana allows herself to sigh, audibly; sure enough, as she had expected, there is a misshapen, blue, cartoon representation of a penis.
Robin full-on cackles with surprise, but Impulse falls of the bed with laughter.
Unfortunately, it is now Diana's job to figure out how to scold a teenager, and one who speaks no known language besides. Based on the resulting expressions she earns, Diana is unsure if the scolding works, but. Well.
...She tried.
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zelkams-art · 2 years
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camera, cut!
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loveoaths · 1 year
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it fucking kills me that i have seen NO ONE talking about the reaction jess jordan, kendall roy’s assistant, has. because it is jess, and rava and sophie roy, who have the reactions that twitter and reddit and all the succession lovers are looking for in shiv, for some goddamn reason. it’s jess who not so subtly pleads with greg to delay calling the election, who is blown off dismissively and ignorantly by greg who cannot understand or even SEE how strong of a panic reaction she is havjng. to him, and every other roy and tom and everyone else at their level, this is just another crazy day with literally zero consequences. a fascist dictator president will literally not change the quality of their lives as rich white people. but it will change jess’ life, as a biracial woman. it will change rava and sophie roy’s lives, in spite of kendall’s money and protection. and the show purposefully cuts off their reactions — jess blinking fast and breathing hard and about to have a panic attack meltdown in the hallway, rava and sophie scared in the back of an SUV — because the show isn’t about them. the show is about the roys, who do not care about the consequences of their actions, partially because they never have to SEE the consequences of their actions. greg does not see jess freaking out; even when she is clearly panicked in front of her he cannot see her pain and if he could, he wouldn’t care. it’s only when he turns his back on her that she starts to break down, which is a great if painful blocking choice. not only is it realistic — she can’t lose face in her workplace, she can’t react negatively when she works for the guy who owns the Devil Right Wing Fascist TV Network, and she most certainly can’t react any way people don’t like because she is one of the few, if not the only, black women in the building and working for the roys. while greg sighs and laughs about this day being crazy, she is having a meltdown as she fears what this election result means to her. if rava, a wealthy woman of color with a powerful ex husband, is scared, how much more scared is jess? is everyone else under jess?
but the show cuts off her reaction and takes us back to shiv because this show is from the roy’s pov, and this episode is largely from shiv’s pov. shiv “cares about democracy” and the country to an extent, because democracy only effects her to an extent. she knows on paper this election is bad news. she also knows it’s not going to change her life directly because she’s rich. like her brothers, who do not care at all who is President, who only care about which candidate will give them what they want, shiv is more upset because this election means she isn’t getting what she wants. she’s going to lose her power in the potential matsson deal. because that is how the roys chose who would be president: they chose the candidate they could buy and who could sell them control over their interests for the lowest number, and meincken outbid jimenez by a landslide. tldr the reaction people are looking for in shiv and in the roys were there, but in jess and rava. and even rava and jess aren’t progressives, aren’t “feminist icons”, they’re also complicit and victimized all at once, like shiv is, but with far less say and power. it’s almost like… the show about face eating leopards… is making a point that if you get in a cage with a hungry leopard, at some point you will run out of steaks to throw at it and it, too, will eat your face off. huh.
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edelbleu · 8 months
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I can’t stop thinking about the guilt Reo feels towards his own despair and sadness.
It’s not just that he’s a sheltered kid who’s always had everything he wanted at his reach; he’s also incredibly self-aware and holds himself to impossibly high standards.
He’s so ashamed of everything that can be perceived as “ugly” about him: his selfishness, his misplaced pride. These are things that he’s never really had to face before, but being abandoned by Nagi has served as a wake-up call of sorts and suddenly he can’t see anything BUT that.
The way he keeps blaming himself for wanting to hold Nagi back, keep him in a cage the same way his parents wanted for him… AND YET. and yet he’s still unable to wave Nagi off with a smile, he’s unable to let go because Nagi has become so inherently intertwined with his dream that he can no longer conceive one without the other
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ainhoa-herram · 1 year
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the worst part about cot is not having a real pov from Thomas after what happened in the chapter we will from now on pretend never happened
I need to know what he felt. I was scared about the intermission:grief mostly after what happened but I ended up kind of disappointed it was only Cordelia's pov
I get that she's the main character and everything but have you considered how much pain was Thomas through at that point
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one-half-guy · 3 months
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Dadow got the gift and curse of knowing more or less how many romantic relationships his son will have and more or less how long will they last...
Imagine how awkward it'll be for him when Silver comes to introduce his partner to him and he just knows this dating will last just a few months...
Or when Silver brings somebody who will indeed be his lover for a few years... But they'll eventually break up anyway and Shadow knows it...
Or how much happy he'll be when Silver brings the one partner that will stay until the death... And now he have to hold back to not show too much how happy he's for his son...
Imagine a case of a relationship that did end, but Shadow does know they'll go back together eventually, it could just be awkward, or could be a lovely paradox that he was one of those who worked to make Silver go back to that partner, but just because he's Dadow now, his past self observed from afar being totally disinterested on the subject and totally unaware his future self influenced in that.
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Canon-adjacent (implied no respawns, or at least heavily impaired respawns, but otherwise canon-ish setting) platonic husbands philza and missa with philza getting himself into a good deal of bother.
TW: needles, blood, major character injury, implied temporary major character death, panic attacks
The mob was new. Of all the things that could do such harm to Philza... there's a lot of them, if he's insufficiently careful, but this one was new. New, and unpredictable, and now very dead.
Very dead, but having left a giant gash from Philza's ribs on one side, to his opposing hip. It's bleeding - heavily - but nothing a potion can't fix.
Philza puts pressure on the wound with one hand, and searches his bag with the other. He grabs a couple of potions - it's a nasty looking wound, and he's already feeling weak - drinking them or pouring them on it as the bottles dictate.
He gives them a second, then another, and the wound doesn't close.
Before he's even had the chance to think /shit/, or /poison/, or /what the fuck was on that mob's stupid scythe/, he has both hands on the injury. His first hand - the hand with his communicator on - is looking pretty gorey already. He puts pressure, realises it's barely helping, then slips his hands around.
He grabs the edges of his skin, pinches them together, and he thinks /okay, fuck, what do I do now?/
For once, Philza does not have an answer. He's a good distance from spawn, his communicator is soaked in blood to the point he isn't sure it'll work and he's very sure he can't see the screen, and if he moves he'll bleed faster. There's also the niggling knowledge in the back of his mind that his thinking is impaired, that he's poisoned and it's likely to have more effects than just preventing his wound closing, that right now if he acts on anything he comes up with then he'll do something extremely dumb.
There's no winning, not when he's having thoughts like that.
Staying put is a shit plan, it's a completely shit plan, and he's pretty sure all versions of him would agree. No matter how he holds the wound he's still bleeding, blood bubbling out between his fingers. If he stays here, in a random glade, a couple of hundred blocks north of the closest build, he's going to die.
If he gets up, if he tries to walk those few hundred blocks... With where the wound is, every single step is going to shift it. He won't be able to pinch the wound closed as he is now, and with every step any healing that's miraculously happened will be undone. He might even tear the damn thing more. He's a couple of hundred blocks north of the Hide and Seek Arena, and nobody's even going to be there at this time of day; if he tries to walk, he's going to die.
What else? What else? He tries to bash his communicator to life, just in case. He keeps the HOLD switch on when he doesn't need it, usually. With his ring finger he manages to reach said switch, and try to flick it. The blood has gotten into the mechanism, disabling it. And with HOLD on... Even if the other buttons escaped the worst, they'll be disabled to. If he gets out of this, he's begging Tubbo or Aypierre or Pac or /someone/ to redesign the damn things, make them blood proof. He's not going to get out of this, though.
He's going to die, and it's going to fucking suck.
Those are, as far as he can tell, his options. None of them are survivable, but at least if he's walking he's /trying/ to live. It'll kill him faster than waiting for help, sure, but Philza's never been much good at standing still.
He pushes up from the tree, and gets eight steps before his knees buckle beneath him.
His hands fly from the wound to catch himself, then back to it to close it back up.
Philza might not be thinking straight, and he might not be good at sitting still, but he's nothing if not stubborn. He grits his teeth, and pinches the wound closed, and drags himself to his feet.
He makes it ten steps, then fifteen, then a whole thirty before he can only make it four. With every attempt his vision grows a little darker, his heart a little faster, his teeth set a little harder into their grimace.
He still gets back up, and gets back up, and gets back up until -
Until he can't any more.
In a hazy blur Philza tries his comms again - still not working - before letting go with one hand. He bleeds even faster without it, yes, but like this? He's too exposed, too exposed, and he can hear the wolves coming. Wolves who might be fine, but might also be looking for an easy meal.
Even dying his instincts kick in; Philza drags himself into a more defensible position, and clamps his fingers around the wound once more.
His body already sprawled on the floor, it's impossible to fall further when his eyes slip shut. Vaguely, vaguely, he's aware of his fingers falling limp, away from the wound and /ah/ he thinks /well, we had a good run, didn't we universe?/.
The universe doesn't answer, or if it does Philza's too far gone to hear it. Maybe the acceptance should scare him, but as he lays beneath a tree, it feels warm, it feels gentle - it feels like coming home.
There's something on the tip of his tongue, some memory just out of reach, some deep-set knowledge he really must know.
He doesn't chase it, he simply leans into the warmth and tries to let go.
"Phil!"
... Missa?
He might be too weak to hear the universe, but not the terrified scream of his husband.
It drives Philza, that flicker of a scream. He manages to get one arm under himself, push up, and-
And he doesn't even get to see the terrified man sprinting towards him, as his vision stays black and his body collapses back to the floor.
---
Philza doesn't expect to wake, not to silence and certainly not to soft Spanish sung by a hoarse voice. Whatever pillows his head is oddly shaped but warm, though everywhere else is freezing despite the weight of blankets. An arm is draped over him, and fingers brush through his hair.
He's also in a fucktonne of pain.
The singing hitches like a sob and - yeah no, that's not an angel, Philza's somehow fucking alive.
He'll take it, but it fucking sucks.
Memories are difficult, fragmented. He's...
He's supposed to be holding shut the wound in his side and /fuck/!
Limbs like lead, Philza tries to move, tries to pinch his bleeding flesh shut once again. It's hard, it should be impossible, but he's Philza Fucking Minecraft and he refuses to die!
He refuses, but one of those arms shifts, tries to stop him. Someone kisses the top of his head, shifts to hold his hands, whispers "you're alright, you're okay" in a gentle tone.
The singer, the singer whose name sits beneath his tongue and Philza can't quite grasp it, but he knows they are /wonderful/, /amazing/, his entire fucking /world/.
Well, maybe not all of it, but a massive fuck-off chunk of it at least.
And it is alright, he is okay, until something catches against his wound.
White hot agony, trailing up and down his entire spine.
Philza... Philza doesn't tense, doesn't scream, doesn't fight - his instincts are strong and his instincts have saved him before and he's just an injured, mutilated bird in the hands of a predator and for a moment all he knows is fucking pain and PLAY DEAD.
He doesn't tense at the pain, he goes limp. He can't even choose how his breathing catches - stopped in his throat, wings slack, body slack, unmoving and unresponsive as can be.
Someone calls his name, but blind pain and blind terror are winning, as in the certainty that he must survive. His name comes again, more frantic, then as a scream-
A scream.
A familiar scream that isn't his own and-
Oh, /fuck/, humans don't play dead in the same way, do they?
Through the pain and the fear and the hands on him it's hard, it's so hard - harder still when he hears running feet from else where and everything he is screams /predator, predator, predator/ - but he does it.
Philza takes a deep, loud, gasping, purposeful breath, forces his body to lock again, forces himself to stop playing, to breathe.
The wonderful voice above him stops screaming and starts sobbing, fingers tracing his jawline as he sobs over and over again.
The running feet stop, and there's a discussion in quick, panicked Spanish - too quick for any Philza, but especially for an injured one - before other hands are touching him, pressing him, assessing him.
His instincts are desperate but Philza remembers the screams before. The fight is exhausting, harder than it should be, but he forces himself to keep breathing, keep breathing, keep breathing. Just for the voice, just for the wonderful person who owns the voice and he knows means the world to him.
He tries to stay awake, he really does, but there's only so much he can do. He's tired, and breathing is /exhausting/, and the lovely voice belonging to a stupid but brilliant man isn't singing to him any more, and the longer he's here the more he realises he must actually, legitimately, be safe.
Safe, what a funny idea. But a nice one.
Philza gives in to temptation, and lets himself fade.
If he's safe, he can let consciousness be someone else's problem.
---
Philza wakes next to a warm pillow, and frozen blankets, and the distinct smell of honey tea. There's no singing this time, but familiar fingers trace his cheek and Philza feels them and thinks /Missa/.
There's a steady bip bip, and a sting, and his existence is cloudy with painkillers.
All of those sensations - every single one - adds up to /probably/ a good thing.
This time, awake, Philza manages to open his eyes. His vision is blurry, but the light is dim, and he's able to drink in the image of his husband above him sipping on a steaming mug.
Missa's eyes gaze vacantly into the distance. Philza does not chase them down. Instead he reaches up a shaking hand, just about managing to make it high enough to stroke Missa's cheek.
He sees Missa blink, and look down, and whisper "Phil?"
Philza can only gather so much strength, but he smiles his soft smile and mouths back "Missa".
---
A few hours and a nap later, Philza is sat against Missa's chest, and curled in his arms. They're both in an exhausted daze, Philza never having really quite left one, and Missa having been running on fear for too long. It strains the stitches a little, but not so much it bleeds, and Philza will live.
He's had the summary of what happened - Missa found him in the woods, bought him back, called for help healing him even as he cleaned and stitched the wound himself. There's talk of the poison, about it being new, and the struggle to synthesise an antidote before they ran out of blood they could give him.
From the haunted look in everyone's eyes, it was a fucking close run thing.
He'll have to thank Pac and Mike later, for that. He's already asked Fit to pass the message on, along with dropping his communicator off for cleaning, upgrade, and repairs, but, fuck, he knows the sort of toll the two are willing to put themselves through for people, and he knows he owes them.
He hopes Mike stopped Pac poisoning himself this time - Jesus Fucking Christ that man will be the death of Fit one of these days - and given the turn around might even be correct about it.
Silver lining - there's now an antidote for the next time someone runs into one of those fucks, and Aypierre is already working on a way to mass produce it.
And then there's Roier to thank, who might still give Missa side eye at times - and what even happened there - but who knows his way around the hospital /and/ seems to have kept his husband something approximating calm, and then Tubbo let slip they'd had to round up blood donations from everyone compatible to keep him alive and make up for the blood loss and, fuck, at this point he should probably get Chayanne to help him batch cook a /lot/ of shortbread to box up and hand around.
And then there's Missa, his Missa...
He's not sure /why/ Missa sang until his throat could barely function, especially when Philza was too unconscious to appreciate it, but...
But it was also Missa who found him, who saved him.
Philza presses a kiss to his fingers, then presses those fingers against Missa's throat.
"Hm?" Missa asks. "Phil?"
"Thank you," Philza shifts his hand, keeping the backs of his fingers against Missa's throat as he strokes along his chin with his thumb.
"I didn't do much," Missa whispers, his voice still suffering.
"You found me," Philza says. "You saved me."
"The... wolves?" his voice lilts slightly on the word - with Philza's communicator gone and head missing a significant proportion of blood assigned to it, they're stuck in English. "They found you."
"They would have eaten me, not saved me."
"No!" Missa's eyes widen, and arms tighten around him. "No, they are good- good boys!"
"I'm teasing," Philza promises, and maybe he is now but it had been a very genuine fear at the time. "I'm teasing, it's okay, I'm okay..."
He's not, he feels like death, and the painkillers he's been given will wear off soon. But, he's breathing, he's alive, and it doesn't look like that's changing any time soon.
Missa curls around him, hugging him close, protecting him from all sides. It's a position Philza is intimately familiar with, having done it so many times for his children.
"I was scared," Missa's voice breaks. "I was scared - you scared me."
"I'm sorry," and Philza /is/, he never - he's never wanted to be the cause of such worry, such fear. "Missa, I- I'm so sorry."
"You were dead," Missa says, the sobs free and almost drowning his struggling voice. "You were dead, in my arms. I held you dead in my arms."
A mistranslation? Philza wouldn't be here, if he were dead, he knows that much for sure.
"I'm right here," Philza promises, rather than call out his confusion; English is hard, and it's no time for a grammar lesson. "You got my dumb ass out of there, and got help. We're okay, I'm okay."
"Don't leave me," Missa answers. "You're- you're- banned! No leaving me, never leaving me."
Philza doesn't think his words are reaching through the tears; he pools his strength, and reaches up, and holds his husband close. Missa's arms wrap around his chest - not tight, moving as he breathes and clinging to that pace.
"We're okay," Philza whispers - despite the exhaustion, despite the pain, despite the catheter still in his arm just in case the bleeding restarts and he needs another transfusion, despite how controlling his body is like piloting sludge. "We're okay."
And maybe, this time, they will be.
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swordmaid · 11 months
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trying to sleep but this concept has taken a hold of me … thinking about jb first kiss .. but brienne initiating ! jb doing something and their close to each other. in my head jaime is wrapping her arm with bandage like his gold hand is elevating her arm, his left hand is wrapping gauze while she’s holding the roll with her unoccupied hand so he doesn’t drop it (teamwork!!!) but that seems so complicated but I like the idea of them working together on stuff like that ?? and another scenario I’m thinking of is something similar but instead of bandages jaime is sewing something up his left hand is holding the needle and thread while she’s just holding the thing he’s working on bc between the two of them I like to think jaime would be better at sewing anyway unimportant kind of but I was thinking of jb first kiss where brienne initiates … except she tries to but backs out but like comic panel where their heads are close together and he’s busy with something and she’s just looking at him .. at his lips .. he looks up catches her staring and she looks away flustered wanting to leave bc now she’s embarrassed but she can’t and he’s like ? Ok 😳
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hey so do you think wtv keiko had to deal with growing up with yusuke could be considered a type of parentification
#god chapters where barely anything happens except a character's realization about things can be hard ...#im writing another keiko pov chapter and it's hard because well!!#keiko was never really a main focus in the series and as time goes on she gets even less of a focus so i have to fill in these spots#in her personality and views that aren't really explored. im taking a lot of liberties lets say#and idek if it's gonna read as in character cos of that#anyway im tryna say that like. pre series keiko was basically this presence in yusuke's life and he saw her as a pain but he cared#she was there to scold him and cajole him into going to his classes and she was his only friend#now we know atsuko was negligent and idk how involved the yukimuras were in his life but i feel like keiko#whether directly or indirectly was given this duty like you have to keep him outta trouble#you're smart you're mature he needs someone like you. this responsibility just kind of put on her before she can understand the weight of i#and she can't really comprehend that weight until it's abruptly taken from her. yusuke dies and there's no one to shepherd#i feel like keiko should get to be mad about this. this realization of the nature of their dynamic. keiko planning things around yusuke#who's never done that in his life. not because he's purposely being thoughtless but bc he was never the one to have to plan#to think about what their future looks like. he just kinda drifted along and keiko tried to do damage control. it wasn't fair#yusuke is keeping secrets from her she is scared of high school and that he'll die again without her knowing why and it's unfair#so she should get to be mad also because girls getting to be mad is one of my favorite things 👍🏼#the realization that yusuke won't be lost without her so she shouldn't hinge her life on the expectation that he will be#she worries about yusuke a lot i think. especially after he comes back from the dead. and i think kuwa's presence would help ease that#dread in her heart. it doesn't have to be just me. there's someone who can be there with him always and it doesn't have to be me#the guilty relief of not having to be the sacrifice. but kuwa doesn't mind so maybe it's okay this way#idk just rambles about my fic while i puzzle out how to word it#character analysis#yukimura keiko#yu yu hakusho
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distort-opia · 1 year
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I was just thinking about how funny it is that Joker is probably too kinky to be physically tortured into giving up information, but now the possibilities are turning the gears in my mind. They'd have to use psychological/mental torture to get anything out of him, and even then, it would probably take threatening Batman in some way (like in Deadly Duo). They'd also need to capture Bats first in order to actually have any leverage but that'd be pretty hard. This got me thinking about what it might take to have Batman willingly surrender himself since there are too many obstacles that might make capturing uncertain. He won't let anyone be killed because of him (using the "because of him" closely, because he tends to blame himself for anything) so I could imagine a situation where he has to give himself up in exchange for not killing a hostage. If a villain were to have Joker in their grasp and threaten to kill him unless Batman turns himself in (with no other option available), Bats surrenders. Anyways, now I have an angsty fic idea where Batman surrenders, thinking he's saving the Joker but then they turn the weapons on him to get Joker to spill some information. Cue drama
Oooh. That's an excellent premise for a lot of angst and character exploration, yeah. I entirely agree that the only realistic way someone could torture Joker would be through Batman. Other people have canonically tried to get at him by attacking Batman already (Hush, for example). But taking Joker hostage and knowing Batman would be unable to be the direct cause of anyone's death, not even Joker's, but once Batman shows up using him to get at Joker... delicious. It could be such a heartbreaking way of having Batman realize that 1) he doesn't enjoy seeing other people torture Joker actually, and 2) that Joker genuinely cares about his life and it's the only thing he'll break for.
If you're inclined to write this, I am in full support. It's a great idea.
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uniquezombiedestiny · 7 months
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I'd like to know why you are all alone while I'm lost at sea /
Maybe we'll be there when you want
#bella#fc!bella#lc ocs#art#this is from reinhardt's (branch-wdk53) pov! you cant escape him in my art. i cant escape him#link leads to stranded lullaby - the lyrics are also from there :3#this is around rein's fears about bella being like ryn but is also about the extraction interaction (still love that name)#honestly every piece of this has. so many meanings like. god#let me just redo all this and go through them one by one lmao#the sea: this one's about them being in the same situation. also their issues (the sea will slowly rise; obscuring and drowning them)#it's also about guilt - it can be a blood ocean! the blood of those they let die...#OOOH I JUST NOTICED THIS: bloodbath! since it's a blood sea :3#the halos: the inner one is halfway just for composition half bc rein sees bella as a good person. the outer (hard to see but) tear-shaped#halo is both a drop in the sea (me when the blood sea! when we've let so many die it no longer matters.) and a noose's opening -#like foos's but metaphorically(? lmao) bella's own suicide by distancing herself from her friends and therefore her help/support system#the black spots: represents rein losing her in a way. he knows what's happening but has no idea how to help. also tied in with his#amnesia/memory loss (totally covered; lost info; yknow). could even be from pain or drowning in the sea! who knows! :3c#...........yeah im normal about these two. you can trust me.#i need to make a bella/ritz piece istg... ive been sleeping on them!!!!!!!!#but. i love these two so much. total of 2 interactions and i made the MOST out of them <3#also since im naming all these now since i gotta save them to post em: this one is called lost
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mrdrhenwardhykle · 7 days
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Phone Guy version of yesterday's post!
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Ref to Clocktower
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