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#HE LOOKS MESSED TF UP !!!!!!!
sneakyboymerlin · 1 year
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It’s the fact that when enchanted!Merlin calls Gwaine filthy, instead of a hands-out, “What the hell, man?” he just turns into a kicked puppy.
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…Or perhaps, more accurately, a pangolin.
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Bayverse Optimus helping Sam with various bits of science homework and everyone can tell the mech is downright Ecstatic
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blerghie · 1 year
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sp actually isn't the second male lead, because in the end he does, in fact, get to be with the mc for all of eternity, in a weird timey wimey jeremy bearimy sort of way
thus, the real second male lead of orv is actually sun wukong. in this essay i will
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gracebethartacc · 3 months
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man,, sometimes I forget canon so I make this wish’s lyrics kinda suck bc I’m so used to my rewrite lyrics (not shared them before tho just bc no instrumental or anything for it yet but MAN)
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Skylynx out here looking like a fucking candy cane. Water faucet looking ass. Mr umbrella handle over here
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star-realities · 9 months
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POV: you’re me in my Batman DR whenever the Joker even breathes in my direction
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katierosefun · 1 year
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girl help the emotionally constipated leader is leaving the team to find his wife and is fine with leaving his team but still looks actually fucking remorseful for 2 seconds when his right hand man asks about hughie, the resident gangly awkward addition to the team whom said right hand man called emotionally constipated leader his CANARY
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theinfinitedivides · 1 year
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Priya after hearing me begging for her to stay on the f*cking plane and head back to Greece for the time being while Raj gets therapy or something to deal with his anger management/self-esteem issues and likely past trauma that was not fully explored for the audience:
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relto · 1 year
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running task manager while waiting on my laptop to load something makes it very obvious where the bottleneck is: its consistently at about 6% cpu, 40% ram, 100% disk
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dethbug · 2 years
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does your mood ever just get completely ruined remembering every embarrassing thing youve ever said
#the amount of times ive made shit attempts at fitting in at work through the mutual teasing everyone does but like#going in way too hard and making everyone uncomfortable#i love when i do that#or when i say something really fucking stupid that makes me laugh but everyone just kinda looks around in silence#also another favorite of mine 💔 FUCK MAN#i know people joke abt being awkward and stuff but THIS AINT QUIRKY#THIS IS EMBARRASSING . AND JUST PLAIN AWFUL#like one time i was messing around and my boss was making jokes abt how hes my favorite or something#and said something abt getting a hug from me (not as creepy as im describing#i really just dont remember specifics)#and i deadass said 'i have never wanted to hug you a day in my life' AND EVERYONE WENT 😶 and i walked away BFJFJG#MF LITERALLY FOLLOWED ME INTO THE BREAK ROOM TO BE LIKE 'hey we're cool right'#LIKE BRO I DIDNT EVEN PICK UP ON HOW AWKWARD IT MADE EVERYONE FEEL UNTIL AFTER I WAS LIKE...YEAH DUDE I WAS TOTALLY JUST KIDDING....#*painful realization of how unfunny it was to say that*#WHICH HONESTLY. unfair bc i can name a coworker specifically thats mean as shit on purpose as a joke and has made fun of me multiple times#LIKE HE SAYS HARSHER SHIT AND ITS LANDED IDK HOW THE FUCKER DOES IT 💔#maybe i should just not try and joke like that#its just so bad idk how to relate to people or. be natural and just hang out#how tf do people just DO THAT.#anyway sorry for the huge rant i just needed to get it out of my system bc holy fuck man 😭 ITS SO BADDD#bug.txt
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deus-ex-mona · 2 years
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thinking about the next hiyoko anime ep be like
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#hiyoko anime really went on a retcon field trip huh… throwing out novel content left and right..#my poor katsusando fight at the school store!! that was the scene that i was most excited for ಥ‿ಥ…#though speaking of retconning… do you think they change up the texts of the short stories after they uploaded it?#like that festival short story. i read the og japanese text and it seems that yujiro was the one who said the ‘you’re ugly’ line instead?#or he said something like ‘that’s my line. get out of my way you eyesore!!!!!!’ or sth idk i’m too lazy to refer to it#and hiyoko never screamed at them to stop messing around. that was aiyuu screaming at each other lol#but in either case… ✨retconning✨ in honeyworks do be real#just look at the harumiou anime for instance. they threw out the novel’s plot (or lack thereof) in favour of chiaki drama#iirc chiaki didn’t even exist in the harumiou novel lol. neither did a plot tbh. nothing happened until chapter 6 ಠ‿ಠ#and the aiyuu movie isn’t innocent either. if they debut live-d the summer they debuted… when tf did they record romeo????#they do one(1) pocky ad and they suddenly get popular enough to perform live??? even though they have literally no songs???#it would make more sense if they debuted in their 2nd year of middle school tbh#they could’ve had their romeo shenanigans in that winter、as well as have their debut live in the next summer (their 3rd year of mid school)#but noooooooo they haaaaaaad to show ken lounging around on the couch in his high school uniform ಠ‿ಠ#omg does this mean that ken axed the anime timeline lmfaooooooooo#wait… what was i even talking about again? (ʘ‿ʘ)??#inedible blubbering
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childishillustrator · 2 years
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i AM right.
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shittybjtch · 2 years
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im so desperate to read stories of character i love...but in which they arent perfectly good people with good intentions in mind
like CMOOOOON gimme narc hamster im BEGGINGGGGG i will maybe make my own content but the likelyhood of that happening is very slim AUGHHHHH i dont think my impression of him is 100% accurate, and its been a few years since ive read the novel but i really think i know a good general gist of his character
im just TIRED of the fanon characterization that got so popular aughhh
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bravo4iscool · 6 months
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simon riley is a chubby chaser. prove me tf wrong. man loves to feel plushy hips and big thighs and he gets so fucking full of himself when he carries his s/o around because he’s able to do it with fucking ease.
he would love to beat the shit outta anybody looking at them the wrong way. a single glare intimidating the person looking or whispering. no one, and i repeat, NO ONE messes with his s/o.
in public he gives them the prince(ss) treatment but at home he’s worshipping the shit outta that body. these thighs haunt him in his dreams and he loves teasing and planting kisses all over them. also the stomach of his s/o. this man is fucking obsessed with it, gently placing his head on it, showering it with affection and little kisses…
and i 100% believe he’s a goner for hugs with his s/o. he can‘t get enough of them, feeling the softness of his partners body against his rough chest and skin. he could hug for hours. matter of fact, he doesn’t want to let his s/o go.
he was falling for his s/o the second he saw them but bro was in fucking denial… thats why he treats them with such crazy affection now. he‘s tryna make up for the time he lost by trying to convince himself he wasn‘t in love with them like a stupid teenager.
(little side note: his favourite praise for them is „atta girl/boy“…)
brain rotting over this😗✌🏼anything i missed lmao?
i‘m thinking bout making a taglist, would you guys want/like that???
REQUESTS/ASKS OPEN!!!
(masterlist)
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rae-writes · 4 months
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OnlyFantoms???
om brothers x reader
wc : 2.k
warnings : nsfw, gn!reader with skirt wearing (mammon, satan), panties/lingere wearing (satan, asmo), online sharing
synopsis : let's see what the latest trending porn videos are
a/n : for some reason, tumblr desktop is making the symbols bold and way bigger than they're supposed to be, so if you're on desktop just ignore how that looks :/
being asked about it in a livestream
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Your legs are spread open for the camera, hooked over your boyfriend’s with no chance of closing them, while his hand is shoved down the front of your bottoms. The other roams your body— sliding up your shirt and wrapping around your throat. Your arms are clearly straining themselves as they hold your body up, all so you could rock your hips against Lucifer’s fingers; though the view is covered by your clothes, the slick sounds are all too clear, giving away how aroused you really were. When your arms finally give out and you fall back against his chest, there’s a shift in the air that you can practically feel as his bicep flexes under the fabric of his shirt, free arm yanking you up higher on his lap so he can finger you harder. Over the sound of your moans and cries for him to ‘please let me cum, been s’good for you, please please please’, you can hear Lucifer’s signature low chuckle and the faint sound of his shaky breathing before he’s giving you permission, outright laughing when you squeal and jerk in his grasp. His hand slips from your bottoms, and though his face isn’t in frame, it’s clear he’s licking your cum off his fingers right before the video cuts off. 
Good grades get rewarded | 0:45 seconds | 108.k views | 100.k likes | 97.k comments 
Lucifer?!
Hand cam hand cam hand cam 
Dude, isn’t Mc a straight A student? THIS IS WHAT THEY GET FOR EVERY A??
I’d good grades too if I had the morning star behind me like this 
^I’d get good grades if I could have Mc in my lap like this tf 
Panting and moaning fill the dim atmosphere, mixing in with the faint sound of slapping skin as large hands push and pull at your hips. The camera is positioned only to catch your lower bodies, but through the dark you can still catch the bobbing of Mammon’s adams apple and the curve of your mouth as you place kisses along his jaw. His grip on your hips makes your skirt ride up higher and higher, showing more and more slivers of skin until your entire ass is on display. There’s a shine- the mix of your cum and his- everytime he pulls you up, only to disappear with a filthy ‘shlick’ as he yanks you back down onto his cock. There’s a natural haze to the lens and the windows are entirely fogged up— sweat is beading and rolling down his exposed chest, showing you’ve been at this much longer before the recording ever started. By now, the second born has started emitting whiny growls as he switches to grinding you and the audio picks up a nearly inaudible choked out version of your name before his arms are circling around you and he’s lifting you up slightly with his last thrust. It’s quiet as you pet his hair while he’s busy massaging your waist- and then you're reaching over to grab the camera with a giggle, angling it to see the mess you’ve both made over your clothes. There’s a hushed ‘Lucifer’s gonna kill us-!’ before the screen goes black. 
Greed is the name of the game | 2:45 minutes | 95.k views | 91.k likes | 86.k comments 
A Y O???
PLS mammon sounded so hot 
I don’t know who I’m jealous of or who I’d rather be rn 
I wanna be the car 
Come get y’all’s dinner, we’re eating good toDAY
The pretty lighting of the fish tank washes over you, highlighting the red scratch lines trailing down Levi’s abdomen to where you’re placing kisses along his hips and pelvis. The sounds are a bit exaggerated- both to make the demon squirm in embarrassment- and because you’ve got the hood of his jacket thrown up to cover your face. Levi’s got his arms pressed close to his chest, hands gripping the controller so hard the plastic creaks every so often; you can hear the shooting from his game and the frantic mashing of buttons. When you finally take his cock in your mouth, seen by your head bobbing at a fast pace, a loud moan rips from his throat and his hips begin thrusting against your ministrations. The room is filled with whines and whimpers, begs to ‘please go faster’, and your amused laughing. There’s a distinct pop when you pull off his cock and replace your mouth with your hand, all so you could lean up and slam your lips against his. Levi throws the controller to the side, hands scrambling to grab the back of your head and the wrist of the hand that’s jerking him off. He’s practically brainless now as he cries and begs for you to make him cum, switching between that and making those lewd, slick, noises whenever your tongue plays with his. When you command him to cum, he shrieks at the intensity, pulling you closer and closer until you're on top of him and his cum is streaking your clothes. There’s a meek ‘I’m sorry’ and the sound of your giggling before your hands go to the waistband of your pants and the video cuts off. 
Motivation for true gamers | 1:30 minutes | 87.k views | 85.k likes | 74.k comments
Making these sounds my alarm as we speak
WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN
Suddenly I’ve become a master gamer 
Never picked up a controller in my life but I’m otw to buy one rn 
Reverse the roles please I beg!! 
There’s a fairly large spellbook in your hands as you sit on your boyfriend’s lap at one of the library tables; he has his head buried in the crook of your neck, fingers digging at your hips as he subtly rocks you back and forth over his cock. The side profile shows only your skirt bunched up to your upper thighs and lace green panties tugged down to your knees— everything is completely covered, even when Satan gets bold and begins bouncing you up and down. No sounds are made except for a faint creaking of the chair and the spellbook thudding against the table when your back arches. All movements halt when someone’s shadow passes by, but as soon as they’re gone, your arms reach back to wrap around Satan’s neck, fingers burying in his blonde locks and tugging desperately. You can’t help the way you begin fucking Satan without his guidance or the way short whimpers begin falling from your lips. He lets out a low hiss, wrapping a hand around your mouth harshly to keep things quiet, all while he pushes you forward to bend over the table as he stands. He pounds at you roughly, using the fabric of your skirt to keep your skin from slapping together. The frantic pace doesn’t stop until he’s got you shaking from your orgasm and he’s following along with a muffled growl. Only then does he let go of your mouth and kiss at where his fingers dug in a little too roughly, massaging over your hips as he whispers about a ‘another study session well done’ before the video cuts. 
Shh— quiet in the library | 5:00 minutes | 91.k views | 87.k likes | 82.k comments
regretting never getting into reading after this 
what days do you two go to the library, asking for a friend 
my face was pressed up against the screen the entire video 
can I be the bookmark
putting in my librarian application asap
It was a sight that would be found in the best of porn magazines: your body on display with a pretty- expensive- champagne lingerie set that matched the fifth born’s hair color to a tee, while Asmo himself was completely bare, smiling face all dolled up and in frame. What made it even more delicious was his manicured fingers wrapped around his own cock, sliding along the slick area as he gave breathy moans and laughs, all while resting his head on your thigh to watch you pleasure yourself as well. Each bite and lick he delivered to your skin was slow and drawn out, matching the pace each of you were going— but one sharp tug to Azzy’s locks made his back arch with a sharp cry, eyes flashing pink. It’s a blur as he yanks you on top of him, lace-covered ass now on full display for the camera as it bounces along with his movements. The noises are so beautifully vile as you both grind against one another, moans reflecting back that get louder and louder the harder he pulls you down. A few whiny ‘I’m gonna cum!’ exclamations escape him before he forces his cock in you at the last second and practically screams with how intense it made everything feel. There’s thirty seconds of sweet talk and giggling before he’s lifting you up bridal style and you both wag your fingers at the camera before the video ends. 
Dress up, dress down | 8:15 minutes | 123.k views | 117.k likes | 103.k comments 
I can die happy now 
FOR FREE?!?! 
I can’t decide who sounds better or looks better 
^the answer is both 
thank you for the fIVE COURSE FUCKING M E A L 
The sound of running water does nothing to hide the sharp sounds of slapping skin or the rumbly growls Beel is letting out. His wings are sparkling under the shower spray, fluttering rapidly as he fucks into you; his muscles flex with each movement, practically showing off to the camera since he has his backside facing it. Your legs, lifted up to his shoulders with your knees to your ears, and your hands gripping tightly at his horns are the only part of you that can be seen. Your voice echoes, though, loud and whiny moans that hitch each time he delivers a harsher thrust. You can see his hands wandering, unable to pick a place to grip or knead underneath his fingertips, just like his head keeps tilting or ducking down to scatter kisses and bites and hickeys over your skin. When his pace finally falters, it’s due to his stuttering hips and an unrestrained moan tears from his throat, followed by ‘c-cumming! G’na cum inside, fuck, fuck—!’ You can see his knees buckle a bit and your hands white-knuckling his horns. He gives a few frantic thrusts before he crushes your body against him and stills, letting the water cascade down your bodies with content sighs. The sound of a door opening echoes, followed by laughter from multiple people, before you’re whispering ‘now how are you gonna sneak me out?’ and the video cuts black. 
A filthy cleaning | 6:26 minutes | 89.k views | 78.k likes | 72.k comments 
Can we talk about his sheer strength?? The muscles?? The effortless pace??
THAT ASS THO 
ain’t never seen a more lucky human 
Is that…the Fangol’s locker room showers-
I— please??
For a moment, there’s only giggling and the rustling of blankets to be heard as you crawl onto Belphie’s lap— whose face is completely hidden by the plush pillows surrounding him. There’s a faint huff from the demon as you begin grinding on his lap, which quickly devolves into groans the harder you press against his bulge. It’s not long before he’s full on moaning, though not yet awake, and you’re lifting yourself up to take his cock out. His oversized shirt you’re wearing hides you well- only showing enough skin to tell you weren’t wearing underwear- and shields the way you fist his cock before lining it at your entrance. Belphie stirs then, voice coming out hoarse as he calls your name groggily. You drop down, not bothering to go slow, and the seventh born lets out a high pitched whine, hips raising in surprise before he’s flush against the bed again, letting you fuck him till your hearts content. You do exactly that, with your hands pressed to his chest for support, and his own clawing desperately at your thighs. His voice remains in a higher pitch, moaning and whining and whimpering, getting louder and louder until you let out a sharp demand for him to cum, and then he’s cumming with a broken gasp— all Belphie can do is give choked cries when you keep rocking your hips and the video ends after hearing your ‘nu-uh, baby, not done yet. Still want more.’ 
Wake up call | 7:30 minutes | 84.k views |  80.k likes | 75.k comments 
holy fuck I wanna be belphie so bad 
why don’t I get woken up this way wtf
This! Is! How! You! Do! It! People! 
Can— can we just. Talk about that WHINE THOUGH?! 
The grip on their thighs and hoarse moans are sending me 
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secretlovezz · 8 months
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Simon with an s/o who has a cat
Prt.2 here! <-
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He hates your cat 😭
Their literally mortal enemies it's ridiculous
The cat glares at Simon 24/7 and he stares right back
You finally make it home after a stressful day at work ready to shower and relax. You open the front door and call out, "I'm home!" You get no response. It makes your brows furrow in confusion, having been used to a little furry friend lying on your unused shoes waiting for you to get home or hearing the heavy steps of your boyfriend making his way toward you. But today there was no welcome wagon for you.
Your heart immediately racks in worry the once steady beat of it moving to an unnaturally quick pace. Your hands move faster to remove your shoes and jacket wanting to look for the person and cat that once populated your apartment.
You call out again, "Simon? My Baby?"
"In here, dove." At the sound of your lover's voice, you're on the move heading to where his voice had been most prominent.
When you get to Simon- in the bathroom -he's clad in only a towel water still dripping from his hair and body and condensation on the mirror signifying he's just gotten out of the shower. Then your gaze goes to his face and his eyes aren't on you they're focused on something on the counter.
Your cat.
They're staring at each other both of them refusing to look away from one another. They were barely blinking. Then you realize why Simon's having a glaring contest with your pet, it's because the cat was on his clothes refusing to move out of pure stubbornness.
Suddenly you're glaring at the both of them too, "Are you guys being serious right now? This is getting ridiculous," you tell them and with Simon's response you roll your eyes and walk away.
"Oh, this is deadly serious, love"
Sometimes when Simon walks by your cat it latches onto Simon's leg kicking and biting the shit out of him (your poor boyfriend is just about ready to chuck the cat into outer space)
Your little fur baby definitely steals or tries to steal food from Simon's plates. Simon swears the cat gets stronger when determined to get into his stuff
Simon's cups have been knocked off of tables more often then not being left to clean up a mess that isn't his
Your looking up from your plate of food as soon as you hear grumbles and silverware clanking roughly against a porcelain plate. You smile a little at the sight in front of you. Simon's pushing your cats head back away from his food, while the cat uses all of his strength. Simon's scowl at the animal only gets deeper when he sees you smile at his unfortunate situation.
"You better not be smilin'," He says annoyance clear in his tone.
Now your laughing, a sound simon usually adores, one that makes his body relax, one that makes him feel safe, but now it has him clenching his jaw and has his eyebrows furrowed.
"Make 'im stop," He growls.
You pretent to think about it for a moment, pointer finger tapping your chin in faux thought, "I don't know si... this is thoroughly entertaining. What's in it for me if I help you?" The vein on his arm looked like it might burst at your question.
"If you don't get this dammed cat away from me it's gonna go missin'," you roll your eyes at his dramatics but called your cat to you regardless.
When you cuddle with one of them the other gets sooooo jealous
Simon will literally toss your little baby off the bed
The cat hits and claws for simon to get away from you
(Your constantly having to scold them its like having two children)
These two will argue with each other Simon's voice is stern its how you imagine he talks to new recruits and your cat is meowing loudly at him clearing cussing him tf out
Groggily peeling open your crused eyes open but quickly closing them as the bright morning sun peeked through your bedroom window you start to awaken. You rubbed into your eyes with the back of your fist before opening them again moving to look at the clock on the bedside table.
11:23
You slept in, or really someone let you sleep in because to your right your boyfriend seemed to have long since left the bed leaving the side he usually accompanied empty and cold.
You stretched and groaned the sheets and blankets moved with you weird groans and grunts leaving your yawning mouth as your joints crackled and popped. You sat up in bed still drowsy with sleep barley aware of your surroundings but still you gripped the enormous blanket and wrapped it around yourself as an act to shield the breezy-ness of the winter weather that leaked into your apartment.
Mreeeooow!
Your head whips to the door at the loud sound. Your cat was talkative but he was never very loud about him. This time the usual cute sound was replaced with an almost screech that made you cringe.
You take a deep breath before standing up and making your way to your room door. Once you open it the sounds of your cat get louder and now you can hear Simon too. His voice is booming but isn't loud it's stern and serious but filled with frustration and anger.
As you walk down the hall to the living area your duvet drag behind you on the floor. The floor creaks and groans under your feet alerting the two others in your home. Both their heads snap towards you. Your little baby's ears are pinned back in airplane mode and his pupils are dilated. Your big baby has his nose scrunched and lips downturned into a frown.
Your voice is laced with tiredness and a little deeper than it normally is, "What are you two arguing about this time?" The back of your hand is rubbing one of your eyes again as you speak.
"The little fucker is bein' disrespectful, he's not listenin' to me."
The cat meows loudly in response to Simon seeming trying to say he was lying.
You sigh and move to pick your cat up, he turns to putty in your arms and nuzzles his head against your chin. You walk towards Simon now. Leaning into him and humming contently when he wrapped his arms around you and the little one in your arms pretending to be annoyed but fully relaxing against your body.
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