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#Geneva good times
azure-clockwork · 9 days
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I love three houses discourse because I'm pretty sure everyone just picks their route based on which house leader they're the most gay for and then tries to defend their pick by pointing out the other sides's war crimes via twitter memes. Reader, all four of them do substantial quantities of war crimes. So many. We're just here because the woman with Issues and a big fuck-off axe said so, and then we gotta justify everything she did in the name of dismantling the class system. I mean, I'm here for that, but you could also try justifying Charm Man uses poison and perfidy to try to stop racism, A Sad Little Meow Meow gives no quarter instead of doing therapy, or the Thicc Pope tries to bring back her mom via human experimentation, depending on your tastes
#This is 100% swinging at a hell of a hornet's nest#Do I tag it?#Yeah fuck it we ball#fe3h#fe16#edelgard von hresvelg#claude von riegan#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#rhea fire emblem#I should probably clarify that I love all of these characters quite dearly#Well except Rhea#I think she's a good character but I'm not feral about her like Edelgard or charmed by her like Claude or desperate to save her like Dimitr#discourse#edelgard discourse#Edit: I actually don’t care about 3H discourse either way lol#there’s plenty of interesting shit to talk about in this game#also I get that the people who say “x did war crimes” actually don’t mean “this was bad because it violated the Geneva Convention”#but any time I see something about how many war crimes someone did (usually Edelgard or Dimitri) I just think:#“Hah it’s a war crime to deploy Cyril to rescue Flayn because he’s still 14 then”#also I got into this game because someone told me ‘so there’s a gal with an axe and trauma’ and I booted it up#and I have a friend who likes Rhea despite his moral reservations solely because ‘she’s hot tho’#and that’s also really funny#point is I don’t really wanna participate in most fe3h discourse cuz I have shit to do but this post isn’t meant to be a dunk on anyone#I’m not upset when I see it; it’s either funny or fine or sometimes right#I’m just gay for Edelgard and amused by the idea of applying the Geneva Convention to a world where it Clearly Isn’t A Thing
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you can’t knowingly fuck a criminal and then turn around and get mad at them for doing something unethical, dubiously moral or illegal that directly involves you. what about this man made you think he follows the laws, is ethical or even moral? you knew damn well that he killed people for a living. how are you going to date someone whose probably on the FBI’s most wanted list (top 10) and then turn around and be surprised that he invaded your privacy? make it make sense. you can be mad at him all you want but shawty the man has proven time and time again who he is as a person. if this mother fucker is out here willingly killing bitches and has probably broken the geneva convention on multiple occasions what makes you think you’ll be exempt 😭? don’t be shy share with the class?
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beachyserasims · 4 months
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♡ Episode 20 | FinalPool-Party | GENEVA ISLAND
♡ Autumn has decided that she doesn’t mind being single and she actually enjoys not being tied down to anyone or having to feel responsible for anyone else’s emotional well-being or commitment issues. Spending time with all her friends is her happy space and so she ended the evening after the pool-party feeling super happy. She was the last one dancing, enjoying the vibes.
♡ Judi woke up and realized that since Sean has left that she likes him more than she thought, and she wished that she could ask him to be her boyfriend. She has a habit of wanting what she can’t have and the timing of her revelation shows her level of commitment issues. She talked with Rowan about her issues as she doesn’t want to be that way anymore, but can’t help it.
♡ Jasmine spent the day chatting with Justin and Darion in the kitchen. She is feeling a lot more relaxed about her relationship with Justin since they cut things off with the other islanders and loves the time that they spend together, but she still gets jealousy pangs when he isn’t around because she is nervous he will be flirting behind her back more.
♡ Samora spent a lot of time chatting with Judi as they are both party animals. She was in a bad mood because she started her period and so she was spending time trying to feel better by running and generally taking it easy.
♡ Rowan spent his day relaxing around the villa and enjoying his morning rituals of drinks and working out. He spent a lot of the day chatting with Autumn and he asked her again if she thinks it would be ok if he moved in with her after the island. She agreed! Judi came clean to Rowan about her commitment issues, which he always knew about but it was nice to hear it in her own words.
♡ Justin spent his day chatting with Jasmine and enjoying her company. They are becoming very close in the villa and its making him feel a lot better about the direction that their relationship is going, becoming more serious about them.
♡ Darion spent his day battling his anxiety again as he is not used to being in such a relaxing environment all the time. He has always loved his career and is finding it hard to be away from his commitments at home. He enjoys chatting with the boys and making friendships with them the most.
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hydrasaura · 4 months
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when i said that mha ripped off naruto (which i said only to piss off mha stans anyway) I didn't mean to sound like i was praising naruto. it was actually more like a sigh of disappointment, a reaction to seeing that all the problems that naruto had as a show transpired trough mha too and i was tired because watching naruto was enough for me but then i realized that my problem actually is that i can no longer stand watching shonen anime and i chose not to tire myself by cringing at the repetitive tropes and cliches anymore
#demon slayer falls under the same category sadly#actually it was more a combination of these 2 that made me realize that i had enough of this genre#me judging other shonen having as reference only naruto#but look! i watched both mha and demon slayer and my personal point was proven that i would get bored by them#(with the exception of some rare moments that were really good in mha but the bad and cringe moments made me forget abt them)#like i remember crying bcs this dude who trained deku died but then i remembered that a few episodes earlier he ''punished''#one of his female students by tying her up a ledge and tickling her with a feather :|#LIKE WHY DID YOU NEED TO PUT THAT IN THE STORY? HORIKOSHI OR WHATEVER THE MANGAKA'S NAME IS#WHY YOU FELT THE NEED TO ADD THAT IN???#and then you tried to make me feel sorry for the guy too?#that was such a jiraya death moment like they were playing it a sad but all i could think abt was ''rip bozo''#not saying that other anime don't have cringe moments. even moments that i had to skip because of how gruesome they were#but they sorta make sense in the big picture of the story? but other characters experience it too not just a category of people? idk#also it's funny how pissed mha stans get for having their show insulted like#when i tell ppl that my fave anime/manga are evangelion; black lagoon#and berserk they look at me like i deserve to be put in an electric chair#like they are right but at the same time i find it funny and i rly don't care#but these guys always go bananas if you insult their fav show as if you broke the geneva convention#i'd say that it's because the majority of the fans are children but i know for a fact that they are not 😭
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kxowledge · 7 months
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ssaalexblake · 1 year
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absolutely hilarious that the only characters i am dead set on surviving stp are Laris, Seven, Raffi, Shaw and Vadic. 
How did they manage to make me feel this way??? how?? How is Shaw on my list of survivors here????? How are some others Not???
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I’ve seen so many people comparing the PB x Marcelline ship dynamic from Adventure Time to the Enid x Wednesday ship and I’m just like. Yeah yeah the goth/pink thing but are we equating Marcelline to Enid and PB to Wednesday or did we not watch the same shows?
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tyxaar · 3 months
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A compiled list of various severe crimes committed by one Mr Scar of the Good Times, exact counts pending. Cannibalism (Multiple counts) War profiteering Trading of Souls Grave robbing Fraud of multiple varieties Racketeering Arson (Like a lot of it) Unethical experimentation Acts of Terror Spiritual possession Contract killing Sale of human remains Ritual sacrifice Oathbreaking Violation of the real life Geneva Convention Deceptive marketing Kidnapping Desecration of a sacred place Whatever tf Area 77 had going on Insider trading Extortion Patricide Matricide Unsafe building practices Holy war Desecration of corpses Market manipulation Treason Tax evasion Murder (Lots and lots) Large-scale extreme vandalism Mass enviromental destruction Political corruption Identity fraud
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ty-bayonet-betteridge · 6 months
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two of the transfems youre friends with have been talking to you about the clinic they got their bottom surgery done at. apparently its dirt cheap, and the surgeon - despite some oddities and, your friends admit, poor hygiene - is incredibly talented. theyre more than happy to give you her phone number when you ask, and while it sounds simultaneously incredibly sketchy and way too good to be true, at this point youre just so broke, desperate, and tired of gatekeepers that you're willing to give it a shot.
you call on a thursday afternoon, and the call is picked up on the fourth ring, when youre just gearing up to hear an answering machine. the voice on the other end sounds like a middle-aged woman with a smoking habit trying to sound like a cheery, bubbly young girl, and mostly succeeding. hiiiii! what can i do for you? she asks. you say er im looking for a surgical clinic is this the right number? she says mhm! thats me. you say okay, i just have a few questions. she says shoot. you say do you take patients who arent referred to you? she says nobody refers patients to me so yes. then she giggles. youve never heard somebody pull off a giggle in real life. you ask okay, so ive been looking for a place to get my metoidoplasty done, can you do that here? she says i dont know what that is give me like five seconds. then the line goes silent. you can hear her typing on a mechanical keyboard and humming to herself as she reads. youre now convinced that this is not in any way a legitimate medical institution.
youre about to hang up when she comes back on the line. OH you need a dick she says. sure i can do that! does tuesday afternoon work for you? i have that morning free too but i HATE getting up in the mornings so id rather not schedule it if i have to. you say tuesday afternoon is fine, how long should i expect the visit to be? she says i dont know like seven hours? you say seven hours? she says yeah give or take a few, every person is different so i dont know what itll be like until ive got your cunt opened up. honestly probably best to take the whole day off just in case it turns out to be a tough operation. you dont respond to that immediately. she says oh shoot should i not use the word cunt, is that too gendered? sorry. you say no its fine. you say i thought i was just going in for a consult? she says i mean yeah if youd rather. i dont mind doing same-day but some people like having more time to think about their options. do you have somewhere to be tuesday night or something? you say no its just... no tuesday afternoon should be fine. she says okay great!
she gives you her address. she says knock three times so i know its you and not my parole officer. parole officer you ask? she says im being good i promise but i still hate talking to him hes boring. you say if you dont mind me asking what were you imprisoned for? she says the ones i plead guilty to at the trial were a hundred and ninety-two counts of first-degree murder with a parahuman ability, two hundred and fifty-six counts of physical and emotional torture with a parahuman ability, five hundred and six counts of intentional infliction of emotional distress with a parahuman ability, four hundred ninety-eight counts of aggravated assault and battery with a parahuman ability, four hundred twenty five counts of domestic terrorism with a parahuman ability and two hundred and twelve counts without, three counts of arson, two hundred forty two counts of burglary with a parahuman ability, three hundred eight four counts of robbery with a parahuman ability, four hundred twenty seven counts of abduction with a parahuman ability, a hundred eighty six counts of human trafficking with a parahuman ability, three hundred ninety counts of destruction of public property with a parahuman ability, eighty counts of possession of a controlled substance, more than three thousand conspiracy and complicity charges in various felonies, eighteen violations of the Geneva Conventions, and the unauthorized practice of medicine. i plead not guilty to the larceny, sexual assault, contempt of court, corporate espionage, and identity theft charges and the prosecutor didnt really try to fight it since i had already earned seventy life sentences from the other stuff so im technically innocent of those.
you dont say anything to that.
after three seconds of silence she says sooooooooo i'll see you tuesday? you say tuesday, yeah. what was your name again? Riley, she says. Riley Grace Davis. you say thanks again and then hang up.
you debate constantly during the intervening days whether you should go on tuesday. youre grateful your friend group is so slutty; it means youve already seen with your own eyes that this surgery is real and not just a lure to murder you. still, you have some reservations, which you think is perfectly understandable.
you call one of your friends whos been there already. she picks up and you say if this is a joke its only sort of funny. she says if whats a joke? you say the clinic. you say you DID give me the actual number to the place where you actually had your bottom surgery done right? she says yeah, dont worry the surgeons so sweet. you say she admitted to doing two hundred murders when she was on the phone. she says i dont know anything about that but i trust her. you say if i end up dead, kidnapped, or mutilated, its your fault. she says dont worry about it.
tuesday comes. you never agreed to an exact time so you show up as early as you can and still have it be "afternoon" in your mind - 12:30. you climb the rusted fire escape to the third floor door and knock three times. the door is answered by a woman six feet tall in casual but very nice clothes with frizzy brown hair and an expression you cant read. you say er, riley? she says nope. another girl pushes past her, exasperated. she's maybe five foot two and her wavy blonde hair is worn down, with a red bow in it. she's wearing torn jeans - naturally torn, not the sort that you buy with holes in them that youve always hated but the kind that were once normal jeans and now have worn through much of the fabric on the knees. her tshirt is faded and has stains that you cant quite place on it, but youre pretty sure it was once Eidolon merchandise.
she says damnit amy let me answer the door next time. the taller woman, amy apparently, shrugs and steps aside to let you in riley claps her hands together once youre inside and the door is shut. introductions! she shouts. amy, this is, er... I never actually got your name? you tell them your name. she says right! hes one of my clients. and this is Amy, my sister. dont worry about her, shes just a little awkward. amy says can you PLEASE not introduce me as your sister. riley says make me. then she grabs amys shirt and pulls her down, standing on her tiptoes at the same time. they kiss in a very un-sisterly way. you clear your throat politely.
riley breaks away and says right, yeah, sorry! i get distracted easy. youre here to get a dick right. you splutter a bit, both at the bluntness of the question and the fact that amy is still standing right there. riley follows your gaze. she says oh dont worry about her! sorry, i wouldve run her off earlier, i thought you wouldnt come by for another few hours. you say sorry. she says dont worry, its her fault. amy says you didnt tell me you had a client. riley says you didnt ASK. you clear your throat politely again. you say er yes, i did come in for metoidoplasty. she bites her lip and furrows her brow. she says metoido... oh right. well i dont really do that here but i can give you a dick. you say uh im not really interested in phalloplasty. she says whats phalloplasty? amy says its the construction of a penis, usually via tissue flap taken from another part of the body, often followed by the insertion of prosthetics to allow the constructed penis to achieve erection. riley says oh, huh. yeah i dont do that either. i can give you a dick though. she takes a second then puts on an exaggerated scowl. who would want that she asks? amy says lots of people prefer it to metoido for aesthetic reasons or because they dont think theyll be large enough for penetrative sex with metoido. riley says but it wouldnt feel like a dick! man, some surgeons are talentless hacks.
you clear your throat again. you say so if youre- riley says youre clearing your throat a lot, are you okay? you say im fine, its just- she says oh duh were being so rude! why are we all standing around here. come sit down in the living room, do you want anything to drink? she leads you into the living room. it has the unmistakable air of a room thats been cleaned recently, with vacuuming marks present in the carpet and the unmistakable scent of air freshener. the sofa that you're gestured to sit on is, by contrast, unbelievably filthy. stains of every sort are visible on it - some of them are obvious, like the patches of blood and vomit or the ring of a coffee mug. others take you a second to place, like the crusty streak along one cushion that you realize all at once is semen, or the sticky yellow parts that you hope to god are honey. some of them, like the muddy green handprint along one arm of the sofa or the deep black smudge along a seat, are completely foreign to you. you can smell it from several feet away.
amy notices your hesitancy. she says i keep telling her to throw that thing out. riley says and i keep telling HER that its a relic from earth bet! its an antique and itll be worth millions soon. it just needs a good deep cleaning. amy says what that sofa needs is a bullet, not a deep clean. you sit down. drink? riley asks. you say er what do you have? she says water, diet coke, vodka, coffee. no more beer though, SOMEBODY drank the last one. amy says you never said they were off limits! riley says they arent, im just teasing. you say waters fine. riley says aaaaaaaaaamyyyyyyy, could you pleeeeeeaaaaaaaase go get our guest a glass of water and me a diet coke? oh and can you grab the pill bottle on the second shelf of the spice cabinet. amy says sure, i'll be right back.
riley sits down next to you. she says sooooooo what do you want for your dick? you say sorry, if youre not doing phallo or metoido then what exactly are you offering? she says no offense but it would take like literally eight years to give you enough background info for you to understand my explanation, and i dont have that kind of time. im not getting any younger. except for when i am. she laughs louder than you thought a human could. you have no idea how to describe the sound of her laughter. she says just tell me about your dream dick and ill give it to you. trust me, im a doctor.
except that youre not, amy says, returning with glasses and pills in hand. she sets the water down in front of you and you immediately take large gulps, feeling very much lost right now. riley says am TOO, accepting the pill bottle and diet coke from amy. she frowns. why is it can diet coke, she asks? she says glass bottle is so much better. she says why did i even BUY can. amy says they are literally the same liquid, what do you mean its better. riley says theyre not the same, stop deluding yourself. amy says which of us is the REAL doctor? riley says both of us! the PRT finally issued me an equivalency. youre talking to doctor riley davis, MED. amy says oh really? congrats she says. riley beams. then she unscrews the lid of the unlabeled, dark brown glass bottle, grabs three pills, and pops them into her mouth.
what is that you ask. ectasy she says. you want some? you say no thanks. she says you sure? you say i probably shouldnt take drugs before an operation, what if it interacts with the anesthetic? riley says dont worry, i made my own anesthetic that has zero drug-drug interactions. amy says except with sudafed. riley says ok YEAH except with sudafed, how was i supposed to know? she glances at you. you dont take sudafed do you she asks. you say no. she says good. it was such a bitch cleaning the pus off the ceiling she says. you say huh? she says dont worry about it, you dont take sudafed. she says are you sure you dont want any ecstasy? i promise its pure. you say i dont want to get addicted. she says i can surgically remove the addiction pathway from your brain if that would help. amy says riley, no means no. riley says fine. do you want any ecstasy babe? she says no thanks. riley frowns. she says you guys are a bunch of squares. she pops a fourth one and starts chugging diet coke.
she slams the can down after drinking what must be half of it, wipes her mouth with her arm and grins. sorry, we keep getting distracted! she says. she says im getting into the start of a manic episode and that always makes me roll right over people in conversation. what do you want for your dick? you say um. i hadnt really thought about it. its not normally a choice beyond the type of surgery, you sort of just end up with whatever the doctors are able to make work? thats lame she says. why are normal doctors all so lame she says. ok, rude amy says. OBVIOUSLY im not talking about you babe riley says. and stop distracting me from my client! amy holds up her hands in mock surrender, an easy smile on her face.
you didnt bring a toy with you did you, riley asks. you say huh. she says sometimes people bring a toy that they want me to model it after and that makes everything a lot easier. you say no you didn't. you say i hadn't really thought about my preferences, can we go dealer's choice on this? amy pipes up. she says you REALLY dont want riley to go dealers choice. riley says shut up and get me another diet coke, i just finished this one. amy says yes princess. you honestly cant read whether it was meant to be mocking or endearing. riley turns back to you. ok, she says, lets start with basics. primate? canid? equine? suine? dolphin? i could give you a hyena pseudopenis but i dont know if that would be offensive. you say human is fine. she says please dont tell me you're gonna just be boring this whole time. you say define boring. she sighs deeply and starts massaging her temples. amy, having stepped into the room in time to hear the last bit of conversation, tousles rileys hair. she says sorry babe, customer's always right.
you work out the appearance of your soon-to-exist cock this way. riley asks questions about length, girth, hair, amount of semen generated, percentage growth when erect, and you try to give what you think are average answers every time. amy watches, bemused, the whole time. halfway through she leaves to get the bottle of vodka. she drinks five shots in fifteen minutes. you say i didnt think the human body had that much capacity for alcohol resistance. she says it doesnt. riley swats playfully at her arm.
eventually, riley grabs a set of crayons and a cocktail napkin. she says ok, i think we got it, scribbling furiously. she shows you a crayon drawing of a dick. this look good she asks? you squint at it. there are no measurements given and the medium does not allow you to make out any fine detail. you say yeah thats fine. amy tries and fails to hide a smile. riley chucks the napkin aside and rubs her hands together. boring parts done! she says. time to get messy she says. amy pours a sixth shot of vodka. she says dont forget the anesthetic first. riley rolls her eyes. she says OBVIOUSLY i didnt forget the anesthetic. she says ill be right back. as soon as she leaves the room, amy knocks back her shot. she turns to you. she says you mind if i stay and watch? she says i dont want to make you uncomfortable, but i like watching her work. shes cute when shes working. you say at this point youre not sure you would mind anything at all. you say at this point you dont think you would be fazed if she came back with a fully-formed dick wriggling around in her hand like a fish and sewed it onto me. she says dont tempt fate.
riley comes back with a black bag the size of her head, which she sets on the coffee table with a thunk. she points at you and says okay, clothes off. or pants off i guess. you can leave the shirt on. or take it off. i dont care. you take it off. she tells you to lie down and starts pulling things out of the bag. amy stands up from the sofa to give you the space to stretch out and sits on the coffee table instead, one leg pulled up to her chest with her chin resting on her knee.
riley pulls out a syringe from the bag, filled with pitch-black fluid. she says okay this will hurt for a second but only for a second. you say huh? she flips you over onto your belly and jabs the needle against your lower back, into your spinal column. it hurts like a bitch for all of two seconds and then you stop feeling anything at all in your lower body. you also cant move your legs, you realize. what just happened you ask, as she flips you onto your back again. she says i just killed all the cells in the nerves in your lower spine. she says its the easiest way to make sure none of the pain signals slip through, and she'll just replace them with living ones when she's done. you don't know how to respond to that.
she pulls more things out of the bag. a cartoonish array of different cutting implements come out. most of them are various sizes of medical scalpel, ring cutter, or saw, but you also see a pair of chunky pink safety scissors, a pizza cutter, a serrated bread knife, an x-acto, a drill with a comically long bit, a pair of wire cutters, gardening shears, and an awl. she says okay im gonna start operating so look away if you dont wanna see how your crotch looks while its being rearranged. especially if you think you might puke, i hate having to stop to clean up puke in the middle of surgery. you look away. you notice amy is watching transfixed.
for a couple of hours things go on like that. amy and riley make light conversation, with riley filling any silence by humming a wordless tune you dont know. the sounds and smells youre getting are enough to make you slightly sick; you continue not looking.
in the middle of hour two, riley stops. oh goddamnit, she says. what amy asks? riley says she forgot that shed need extra meat. amy says you started a surgery to give somebody a whole new organ and forgot youd need more tissue to do it? riley says shut up, im dumb. amy says no youre not babe. riley says ughhhhh now what. amy says just get his stem cells to grow the tissue you need. riley says nooooooo thatll take forever, and i have places to BE tomorrow, and if i stop putting pressure on him here hes going to bleed out through his cunt. you say wait, what? amy says well i dont know what you want me to do about this situation, i gave you my solution. riley says baaaaaaaaaaabe. amy says whaaaaaaaaaaaat. riley says i think we have some bacon in the fridge, will you pretty please with sprinkles on top go get it? amy says and what do i get in return? riley says a kiss. amy says id get that anyway. riley says my undying love and affection. amy says i have that already. riley says not making me angry at you so you can sleep under my roof without having to worry that ill turn your sweat glands into acid glands in the middle of the night. amy says that, plus i get to top tonight. riley says fiiiiiiiiine, just go get the bacon. amy gets up.
you say look uh i know you said not to question what youre doing but i kind of dont want a dick made of bacon, not to sound ungrateful. also did you say something about me bleeding out? riley says dont worry, if you bleed out ill put the blood back in, im a professional. you say thats not as reassuring as she thinks it is. riley says whos the doctor, mister? you say technically both of us. i have a phd in social sciences you say. she says wow, theyre just giving out doctorates for anything these days, huh? you say hey, rude. she says only teasing. you say anyway, uh, you didnt address the bacon dick thing? she says oh dont worry about it, my amys amazing, youll see.
amy comes back in with the package of bacon. do you need this in any particular shape she asks. riley says nah just give me a good amount of it. and make sure its spongy, so when he gets hard the blood can- amy cuts her off. she says dont worry, ive given you enough penises at this point that i think i know what penile tissue is like at this point. you say given her enough penises? what the hell does that mean? riley says hey, dont kinkshame! she sounds legitimately offended. you say sorry. amy pulls the bacon out of the package, holding it aloft in her left hand. you watch as the familiar look of a half-pound of bacon shifts and warps into a strange lump of fatty, spongy tissue of a waxy color. she hands it to riley. riley says thanks sis youre the best, love you! amy says no problem. riley says id kiss you if i wasnt elbow deep in this guys cunt right now. amy says kiss me after the surgerys done.
another two hours go by. the sounds of flesh being chopped, sawed, and stitched underscore riley and amys meaningless conversation about whether they HAVE to attend their acquaintance lisa's birthday party. riley says lisa probably wouldn't throw a birthday party if there wasn't some sort of scheme going on. amy agrees but says that doesnt indicate whether they should get involved with the scheme or not. you wonder dimly if you will ever feel your lower body again. you wonder if this is purgatory, an endless afternoon of lesbians bickering affectionately while one of them does surgery on you. you turn your head enough to look at the clock. its 5:26pm. where the fuck did the time go?
another hour passes. riley stands up. she is soaked up to her elbow in various bodily fluids - mostly blood, but youre not looking too closely. she says finally! she says just need to regrow your nerve cells now. you say is that going to take long? she says like twenty minutes maybe as she flips you over. you say ok. she jams a different needle into the same spot, injecting a strange yellow paste into your spine. she then flips you onto your back again. you feel brave enough to finally look at your crotch.
there is a completely normal human penis of average size there. you reach a hand down and touch it. you dont have any sensation in it yet since your nerves are all still dead, but it feels warm and soft under your hands. you smile, feeling tears come to your eyes. its over.
rileys talking. she says i followed your specifications except i had to cheat a bit on the nerves, you actually didnt have very many in your clit for whatever reason so your glans has maybe eight thousand fewer nerves than you wanted, sorry about that. she says i gave you balls in your scrotum for shape but since you said you didnt want kids they dont produce sperm. let me know if you want that changed she says. she says it should be fully functional in every respect, but if you notice any erectile dysfunction, incontinence, discoloration in urine or semen, priapism, or any other issue come back and we'll sort it out. if you notice it bleeding in ANY capacity, call me immediately. if im not answering call Amy, ill give you her number. if SHES not answering either then you can start seeing normal doctors, not that those idiots will know how to help you probably. if you want any changes to it call me and ill pencil you in to get it adjusted. get all that she asks. you nod. she says cool. she says itll be like $200, no rush if youre not able to pay right now. you say it might be a bit since youre still trying to pay interest on your student loan debt. wait, she says, they have student loans again? you nod. she says the world ended like thirty years ago, when did they set up student loans again? fuck, how much do you owe? you say a little under eighty thousand. she says jesus fuck, nevermind, its free. goddamn. you say thank you so much. she says yeah of course. do you want us to dress you or do you want to wait until you can move and do it yourself?
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art · 6 months
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Creator Spotlight: GDBee Art (@prinnay)
Geneva Bowers is inspired by the wonders of the natural world around us, and enjoys manipulating colors to create art full of mood and feelings.
Check out our interview with Geneva below!
How did you get started with art? Did you originally have a background in art?
I’m going to say yes because that’s all I’ve known how to do. It started because I wanted to draw better horses than my sister, and it just spiraled from there. People started asking me to draw things because they saw me drawing horses. I was like, well, I can draw things that aren’t horses, and then it was just kind of all I did. 
Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?
I have one right now! Honestly, with time, and I also collect art books; I think I have a couple hundred. If I really want to draw something, then I just flip through those and try to steal some ideas.
Which three famous artists (dead or alive) would you invite to your dinner party?
I mean, of course Van Gogh…I’m really inspired by Impressionism and Post-Impressionism, so I would invite Van Gogh, Monet, and Julie Dillon to a dinner party.
Have you ever wanted to dive into another medium before?
Yeah, actually, I currently am! I’m trying to do more traditional painting. I used to do a lot of acrylics, but I haven’t done it in years, and now I’m kind of bad at it. I’m trying to get into actual impressionistic art with oils and oil pastels. I’m like failing, but you know, you get there. Just fail until it looks presentable. 
If there is one thing you want your audience to remember about your work, what would it be?
I guess it’s more of a feeling. I create art because I’m inspired by things around me, like certain video games. For example, I have been inspired by a Japanese RPG called Chrono Cross on PlayStation 1. They make me feel a certain type of inspiration to create something, so that’s kind of like what I’m hoping to leave behind. 
Have any of your projects surprised you with their outcome?
Yeah! I did this Weapon Faerie series where I took three prompts: a weapon, a winged insect, and an herb, which I combined to make different characters. So, a faerie with a spiked club or a butterfly faerie with a katana. I made 13 of those, and they kind of took off! I wasn’t expecting that at all.
What is the hardest part of your process?
My whole art style is coloring, like the way it’s colored… but I hate the coloring process, haha. I like doing the color combos, but I don’t like the blending and shading. That takes like one-trillion years. It’s the part where I’m most likely to give up. You know how art kind of looks ugly before it looks good? I’m trying to trust that process. 
What do you wish you knew when you started creating art that you know now?
I guess one big thing would be knowing how to use lights and darks. When I do color, it is definitely colorful, but when you switch it to black and white, you see that everything’s the same tone of gray. I’ve learned that if you just use some brighter colors and some darker shades, you create a bigger impact in the end. So, now, when I paint something digital, I make it black and white for a moment to see where all the hues are, and if something is weirdly dark or not dark enough, I can change it.
Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?
Oh, @feefal definitely inspires me. She does a lot of spooky art.
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phantomrose96 · 1 month
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My dodgeball friends which are my tennis friends which are my biking friends which are my skiing friends took me skiing again yesterday.
It was only my third time skiing after 10+ years of not doing it, and surreptitiously ("surreptitiously") yesterday was a pure powder day, which we couldn't have predicted when we booked the tickets. Given the absolute zoo of the parking lot, I figured "powder" would be like skiing on a dream.
I was wrong. By god I was wrong. Powder makes you work 10x as hard to turn and control. Powder turns the ski slopes into checkboard patterns of mounds and valleys which, if taken at high enough speed, must generate some kind of musical note. Like a marimba of bad decisions.
I was making noises I wasn't proud of. I was watching my life flash before my eyes. I was voluntarily faceplanting in the snow one time, because my options were voluntary faceplant now or involuntary faceplant later at a speed I could only reach against my own will.
My one validation was reconvening with my friends at lunch and seeing that half of them also looked like they lost a long argument against God at the peak of that mountain, shoveling fries into their mouths and buying $5 powerade because it's that or death.
I got better like I got a feel for it as the day went on. But the fatigue stays with you. More than once I tried to tell my leg muscles to do something and they informed me the sodium-potassium channels were out to lunch. Informed me they were on their union-mandated break, but Good Luck to me and my own. I stopped on the slopes more than once to catch my breath. I flopped right over in the snow at the end of a run. And in the middle of it. And in the middle of the part before the middle.
I escaped the previous two ski sessions without being sore the next day but I knew this time I was done in. Did things to my legs that go against the Geneva convention. Would reap my consequences when the sun returned.
Woke up this morning. Legs were fine. Not just "not bad" but completely, 100% fine. As fine as if I'd done absolutely nothing the previous day.
My UPPER ARMS are killing me though. From, as best I can gather, the gargantuan, mammoth effort of... like pushing myself up from the snow like 5 times.
I should stop skipping arm day.
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sluggishslugcrimes · 11 months
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Jason, in therapy: Dick is the golden child, I could never come close to his level of perfection nor be a good son my second time around... Not that I hate him for it, kinda hard now since he's there to support me, made me come to therapy.
Damian, asked who's the good child: well it's Richard of course, he's what I inspired to be.
Tim, talking about the greatest Robin: he started and set what every Robin should be, it's insane how he adapted to this lifestyle!
Cass, asked who's her favorite sibling: I don't have a favorite but Dick is one I can count on for anything, he's a good brother.
Steph: oh I know goodie two shoes won't do anything that would be anywhere near stealing, come on Wally, stop lying.
Duke: I don't think Dick can do anything wrong, I might be signal but he's the light of Gotham so I can't believe he's done anything wrong, I mean he ran away but that was mostly Bec Bruce hurt his feelings. No, I think the only thing he ever did anything wrong in his life was maybe stepping on an ant, he's a good guy and an amazing big brother, dramatic as hell but still a good guy.
Dick's good child times
Bruce, at his last straw: the Geneva Convention was not a checklist for your war crimes! You're 8yo, you shouldn't be a wanted man by the government!
Dick, sassy pants: correction, one I'm a wanted child, okay. Two, I didn't use it as a checklist, I added onto that list. I improve that list.
Bruce: your a wanted criminal, you set a man on fire!
Dick: whatever geezer, can you leave now I'm doing my homework or now it's an issue for you
Bruce: it is now, you are grounded, no, your beyond grounded your... Your forever grounded!
Dick: wow, you went to a the best college out there and the best you come up with is "forever grounded", why I'm even studying at this point if you're supposed to be smarter than anyone in the world.
Bruce: you're a nightmare.
Dick: and you're losing to an 8yo, now tell the government to shove it where the sun doesn't shine and leave me alone.
Bruce: I'll... I'll forbid you to see your friends then, ha whatcha going to do about that one.
Dick: leave to see them like always, just like I do to do my "crimes". This game getting boring, take the lost.
Bruce: this isn't over young man!
Dick: uh huh, yeah.
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beachyserasims · 3 months
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♡ Intimate Moments | Judi & Rowan | GENEVA ISLAND
Part 1 of 2
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*Judi and Rowan arrive at the Belomisia Trailhead at 6:00 pm. They are surrounded by beautiful wildflowers, ancient rainforests, and incredible views of the river below with a nearby waterfall. They stand in awe and excitement.*
R: [pure joy] Now this is what I’ve been waiting for! Do you think they’ll have us explore the jungle??
J: I have a feeling we are supposed to be over here with all these candles…[gasp] I’ve never seen so many lit in one spot before! It’s so beautiful… Oh, and we can grill here! Mmmmm… - Oh and here!! We can fish from this small pond. But this view, I mean, c’mon, have you ever seen anything like it Row??
R: I’m tingling in… Places…
*They laugh with each other before heading over to the fishing pond. There, they enjoy fishing amongst the dragonflies and wildflowers while enjoying each other’s company and the amazing sunset. *
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The Start || Beginning of Episodes || Previous || Next
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egypt-museum · 2 months
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Statuette of pantheistic god Bes
Bronze inlaid with gold. Late Period or the Ptolemaic Period, 664-30 BC. Now in the the Fondation Gandur pour l'Art, Geneva.
"Despite his appearance, which changed in many details over time, Bes was deemed beneficent to humans and he was accepted by all classes of Egyptians as a powerful apotropaic deity. He was especially associated with the protection of children and of pregnant women and those giving birth..." Bes was believed to provide protection from snakes among other noxious forces; this statuette shows him in motion stepping on serpents. But Bes was also associated with many of the good things in life: sex, music, and merriment.
"... [In] his later composite form Bes is depicted as the head and sometimes body of a four-armed, winged and many-headed god with the tail of a falcon and the attributes of many of the deities with whom he was combined..."
― Complete Gods and Goddesses of Ancient Egypt, by Richard H. Wilkinson
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evilminji · 7 months
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Actually? WOULD Earth be the ones to petition Oa?
They are interstellar Space Interpol. You don't usually call them on different parts of your OWN settlements or systems. You call them in when someone is breaking THE Laws. Not necessarily YOUR laws, though obviously by breaking THE laws they clearly ARE. But THE Big Laws(tm).
Like Geneva Convention for Space type laws.
You have discovered Planet or King X is committing WAR CRIMES. Call Oa. Tax fraud? That's an inter-personal planet side issue they can't help you with. Pointing Nukes at your nursery settlement and threatening to blow up the infants there unless you give them sex-slaves?
Knock-knock! Taste HARD Light Constructs!
But if so? Then how would the situation get so out of hand on Earth? With the G.I.W.? Simple. Tell me, Mr. President, what do you know of the current day to day life of villagers in rural Siberia?
That they exist? Could you even NAME their village, if I referenced specific individuals? Likely not. And no one would realistically expect you too.
There are countless planets out there! With Leaders busy with local industrial conferences and infrastructure bills. Farming regulations. Talks with that planet a few stars over. Very busy. What do THEY know of Earth? Why would they NEED too?
But! As we know, Ectoplasm is EVERYWHERE. Not just earth. And? Thin spots are not just an Earth-centric phenomenon. Other planets most CERTAINLY would have them too. And depending on the species? The culture? To quote the wise sage Bill Wurtz "you can make a religion out of this!"
After all, chosen few, returned from death... glowing and more powerful then before? Immortal? It's a pretty reasonable conclusion to come too. They are clearly Gods Touched. Some sacred task they must complete.
It would likely even shape the ghosts of the region themselves. After all, they TOO, would believe they were chosen for some Important Religious Task. Be it study or collecting rocks. To what end? Unknown. Who are they to question The Gods?
But! Oh happy day! The old tyrant is no more! A chosen Hero! They go to greet him! Honor him, as you do. Traditional gifts and ballads. Maybe some sacred rocks. A fancy hat. But? Oh? The Champion is wounded! Gasp! Still? But the fight with Pariah happened-
And then they are given Grave Warning(tm). Don't go to Earth. Heretics attacking people. KILLING souls! Trying to KILL the king of all the Infinite! He is somber because his living parents were hurt. Preventing the END OF ALL THINGS!!!??
WHAT!?
These "People In White" tried to EXPLODE the very FABRIC of all realities!? Several of them faint. Truely, these Fentons MUST be chosen by the Gods! Heros. Legends. Such bravery in the face of such HORRORS. Please, let them be brought to their Living counterparts! The hospitals are quite good!
And you know what? Fuck it. Danny will take that. Because his Mom n Dad got hurt. BAD.
They learned he was Phantom at probably the SINGLE worst time imaginable and still chose HIM. Chose THEM. The GIW were coming for him. Gonna hurt Jazz. And his parents told them, with fire and blood, it'd be a cold day in hell before they let them so much as TRY it.
They BLEW UP their own life's work. Went literally scorched earth. And now? They're not doing so good.
Because the Zone isn't made for the living. No food, no water, and no real human-safe medical supplies. They've run out. Danny will take what he can get. He'd even go to Vlad but... his Portal's gone too. And the Buzzards said he looked... spirally. Very... "suicide runs until everything BURNS".
So, yeah. No one's doing so great.
Alien planet it is.
They are greeted with fanfare and respect. The best medical teams on the PLANET. The King and his family is there, to welcome him. It's... it's beautiful. Hardly some perfect utopia, but the air is lite. Art everywhere. The stars vivid and so easy to see, at night.
The King kinda reminds him of Mr. Lancer to be honest. Balding and a bit round around the middle, stern but endlessly fair about it, wants people to do their best and succeed in life. Maybe that's why Danny finds himself opening up. Because... because here is a real, honest to God, KING king.
Somebody who was actually TRAINED to do all this King stuff.
Unlike Danny.
And Danny? He's scared. People expect him to Lead now. To know what he's doing. To somehow just... suddenly KNOW how to do all these things he's never even heard about. He only barely just died. Has BARELY been keeping everybody safe.
BARELY stopped Pariah.
He doesn't know what to do. But he pours his guts out. All the things that have bottled up. And King Not-Lancer listens. Somber and thoughtful. There is little, if anything he can TRUELY do to help. But... there ARE things he can do. Lessons on statescraft, while he's here, for one.
As for the other? Well, as King, he does have the local Lantern's Call Sign. Not to be used lightly, mind you. But what Danny describes? And from what the Sacred Ones have reported? THAT must be reported to Oa. He can show Danny how to do that.
(He does)
[The Lanterns of Earth get a VERY exciting call from Oa. Are every different shade of pissed. But? Whoops! Looks like they ACCIDENTALLY put the Watchtower into a complete Quarantine! Well, dang. Guess we're all stuck here for two weeks!
Reset it? *sound of smashing computer terminal* Yeah, don't think that's gonna work! :)
WHO WANTS TO PLAY 20 QUESTIONS?? We'll start! :) Who here has heard of an organization called, and I quote, The Ghost Investigation Ward? :) ]
@hdgnj @ailithnight @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter
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fuckyeahisawthat · 9 months
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Heaven in Good Omens is fascinating because it works on a lot of different scales of metaphor. It’s an abusive family it’s a cult it’s a toxic workplace it’s an authoritarian state. All of those metaphors fit.
When Crowley talks about his fall he tends to talk in individual terms, in terms of his personal relationship to God. He’s the kid getting kicked out of the house for not conforming. He talks to God like a family member. Why did you do this to me? I only ever asked questions.
But whether Crowley, individually, deserved to fall or not is not really the point. (Although he didn’t.) It’s that the Fall as a whole was a disproportionate response to the whole situation, intended to scare the remaining angels into never doing that again.
This becomes immediately apparent when you zoom out to the scale of looking at Heaven as a society or a state. Yes I am aware that the war in Heaven predates the Geneva Conventions by some time, but expelling the entire losing side of a civil war from their home territory is generally frowned upon in human conflicts. On this scale, it’s blindingly obvious that this whole response is fucked.
It’s not about whether Crowley is Good, Actually, and therefore his individual fall was a mistake (which is how I think Aziraphale sees the situation) or whether Crowley did something “worse” than asking questions that we might not know about yet. It’s not about Crowley at all! It’s that no one deserves eternal permanent exile for dissent!
It’s an institutional problem.
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