#FUUUUUUUUUCK i fucking love reading

[cementfactory]

RIP george orwell u would've went absolutely apeshit if u got to know about america doin MKultra 💔

#geogre orwell #1984 #im a slow-ish reader but jesus fucking christ 1984 is blowing my dick off repeatedly #like i KNOWWWWWW i know #'duhduhduhduhhh orwellian etc literally 1984 etc it was a warning etc etc' #trusf me i hate how long it took me to finally read tbis aswell #ALSO IT WAS NEVER ASSIGNED READING TO ME my whole middle/highschool life #i KNOW if it was i wouldve been estatic abt it and probably loved it even as a teen #like i loved to kill a mocking bird in freshman year #or secret of NIHM in gradeschool #FUUUUUUUUUCK i fucking love reading #everyone go pick up a fucking book today im dead srs idc #its good for ur brain ur brain crave book #becc.txt

[monstersinthecosmos]

okay so i just finished IWTV....... oh my god!!! oh my god. it's embarrassing how insane this book made me. for the last 50 pages or so i was regularly taking breaks to run laps around my apartment like a lunatic because i physically could not handle all the pain and angst and despair coursing through my body LOL. i got so immersed in the story i forgot pretty much all of the background for armand you'd given me (and i can't remember most of it even now!!! my mind is in shambles) and still, very organically...... he became my favorite. even despite all of the. you know. and maybe even more so BECAUSE of it. i've just never witnessed an evil so heartbreaking!!!!!!!!!!? THE ABSOLUTE DEVOTION?????? DERANGED AND UGLY AND UTTERLY BEYOND REASON????!!!! FUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!! i'm sorry for vomiting all over your inbox i genuinely cannot conjure up any resemblance of coherence atm!!! THANK YOU FOR POINTING ME TOWARDS SUCH LUXURIOUS PAIN i LOVE it i want MORE! <3 <3 <3

oh my god OH MY GOd ,... omg... 🥹🥹

WELCOME WELCOME YES THIS HOW I FEEL EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE I WISH I KNEW WHERE TO EVEN START 

(I really feel like just answering with this meme and not subjecting you to a wall of text but I'LL TRY !!!)

GOD LIKE WHAT THIS BOOK DOES SO SO WELL AS LIKE IMMEDIATELY GROUND FLOOR OF THE SERIES LETS US ALL KNOW THAT ALL CHARACTERS COMMIT EVILS AND ARE NOT GREAT PEOPLE BUT THEY ALL WANT TO BE LOVED AND ARE TRYING LOL. 

LIKE LOUIS MOVES FROM ABUSIVE PARTNER TO ABUSIVE PARTNER UNTIL HE’S FINALLY SO DEAD INSIDE THAT HE CAN BE BY HIMSELF AND WALK AWAY.

AND LIKE IT’S SO HARD BECAUSE YOU SEE HOW CLAUDIA FREED HIM FROM LESTAT, AND THEN ARMAND FREES HIM FROM CLAUDIA. AND SOMETHING THAT ALWAYS FUCKS ME UP SO BAD IS THAT ARMAND HAS SUCH A SKEWED MAP OF APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR BUT HE’S NOT EVIL. HE’S TRYING HIS BEST, IN THE BEST WAY HE KNOWS HOW.

Wait hang on I’ll take caps off I’m so sorry lmfao I’m just really worked up. 

I think there’s a sort of meme-ier version of this like Armand going “hi 🙂 I killed your daughter 🙂 you can kill all my friends if you want 🙂 I won’t stop you 🙂 do you like me? 🙂"

But it’s actually SO TRAGIC god. Like I read IWTV as a story about domestic abuse and the family cycle, personally, and I see Claudia as an Oedipal figure. Louis is unable to get away from Lestat until Claudia makes it happen, and Claudia winds up being so cold and cruel and he’s stuck with her until Armand frees him. And there’s a lot of conversation about like, Armand being manipulative or what he did to CREATE this, how did he push them both where he wanted them, etc, but the thing that gets me is that when Louis wants to break up, Armand lets him leave.

And like SKIP WHAT I’M ABOUT TO SAY IF YOU DONT WANT A SPOILER BUT LIKE I DID MENTION THIS IN MY OTHER POST  —— but if you read Lestat’s book and get the background on how he and Armand met, it’s sort of the opposite where Lestat destroys Armand’s coven and Armand is so devastated about it, vs 100 years later he ALLOWS Louis to destroy a coven. AND HE GETS THE GUY!!!! In TVL he like BEGS Lestat to be with him and Lestat isn’t interested lol but he gets to keep Louis this time.

IDK IDK IM JUST REAL EMOTIONAL. 

And like !!!!!!!! God idk. If you read more of the books you get so many indications about how people in Armand’s life don’t respect him, and a lot of times people write him off because he looks like a teenager. They don’t take the danger of him seriously, which makes him even more dangerous. But it’s so heartbreaking reading IWTV and seeing how Louis respects him so much, and sees him as wise and calm, and needs him! 

And like maybe Louis is uniquely qualified to not judge people for looking like children because he has spent the last 90 years with a vampire child and respects her as an adult, you know?

If you keep reading you’ll see how much Anne Rice like retcons or how much the continuity flops around so like EVERY book will have a Doylist vs Watsonian conversation like, she never comes out and says that Armand looks like he’s 17 in IWTV and in the later books it’s a huge point every time he’s on the page just HE’S SHORT HE’S 17 HE LOOKS LIKE A CHERUB etc and maybe that’s because she hadn’t decided that yet but also maybe Louis is the only person who fucking respects him. :) 

#im DEVASTATED HELLO #i'm sad about armand again good morning! #armand's trauma hole #trauma hole theory #vampire chronicles #interview with the vampire #armand/louis #deep ass thoughts about vampires

[stovepiperat]

terror camp ‘22 day 1: an informal reclist

HOW A-FUCKING-BOUT that CAMP huh guys!! Good shit!! Anyway, here’s two (variably) related recs (that weren’t previously mentioned in the server, to the best of my knowledge!) for every TC22 panel. Just because. 

Please click through to AO3 to see full individual taglists, warnings etc. Other half of this post is in progress. Also, you may have noticed that the descriptions get a little bare-bones as the post goes on. This is because I am slapdash and sleepy. Sorry. But please let me know if I need to fix anything, as always!

(Get in contact with the mods at terror.camp to get access to recordings and Discord!!) 

‘There Will Be Poems’: Franklin, The Terror and the Noble Failure Narrative

Principles of Magnetism (a Comedy of Manners) by acaramelmacchiato (Fitzier, 21k)

Less horrific consequences than in canon, but this IS a noble failure narrative, one which, fittingly enough, pivots nimbly around a pastiche of Britishness and features the futility of attempting to reason with Sir John Franklin.

the waiting room by Ias (Fitzier, 10k) 

Maybe the real noble failure narrative was the delirious, calcifying regrets that haunted us along the way. I think there are deeper reasons this fic relates to the theme, but it would be a disservice to its understated angst for me to try and drag it all out and dissect it here.

Imperial Apparitions: Victorian Periodicals and the Search for Franklin (1848-1860)

My Name Is John Franklin And I Like To Fuuuuuuuuuck by Charlotte_Stant (Lady Jane, 1k)

I know the title is... but it’s a Lady Jane character study! I promise! Gosh, speaking of things I love about Terror fandom, EXEfest is so neat.

Three Winters, Four Springs by halotolerant (Fitzier, 50k)

“Han,” I hear you say, “I love psychic wolf sex, but what does it have to do with contemporary British imperialist propaganda takes on the lost Franklin expedition?” Well, that’s a fair question, but there’s some really fascinating worldbuilding specifically relating to the gaps between the filthy, miserable, selfish-surviving reality of expedition life and the memoirs that make mint on it.

Always Simple & Sincere: Protestant Doctrine & Difference In The Franklin Expedition

Like Unto a Man by disenchanted (Hickey/Crozier, 6k)

Crozier has weird psychic powers like in the book, but good. This fic is basically just him lying there and unwillingly astral projecting into Hickey’s sex memories but he is very Protestant about it, somehow.

old habits die hard by MOUSE9000 (Terror lieutenants, 5k) I don’t really want to explain how EXACTLY the modern AU vampire roommates and their ambiguous relationships are kinda Protestant with it, but they are.

The C, the C, the open C: Classics and The Terror

A More Appropriate Hole by chatterleysghostwriter (Hodgson/Dundy, 6k)

Hodglove, Catullus, having an ever-so-slightly anachronistic depressionwank. What more could you need?

Ex Illustri Vagantium Ordine by annecoulmanross (Fitzier, 3k)

Meta-classicism with a touch of everyone’s favorite (Latin footnotes.)

(I’m going to level with you guys 100%: I feel like probably most heavily classics-referencing fics in the fandom are Bridglar, which I don’t really read (just not my thing) and as such that’s just, like. A gap in my knowledge. Sorry, Bridglar, I don’t want to erase you from this narrative! If you want to add your own rec in reblogs, feel free.)

and sang no more: The Fictional and Historical Impact of Traditional Music in The Terror

all seasons, at all hours, and in all places by Gwerfel (3k, Hickey/Tozer) “Rat Catcher’s Daughter” song played for horror. Spooky and crawling.

A delightful God-fearing man by Lilliburlero (3k, Gibson/Irving)

Irving seeks out a songbook, in a delightful romp which also happens to be very well-cited.

Poetic afterlives of the Franklin Expedition

Something different for this one—let’s have a little fanpoetry!

Northwest Passages by kitsuneartemis

Spoon River Anthology, but make it The Terror.

An Arctic Sonnet by hangingfire

Sonnet 130, but make it Fitzier.

#mine #reclist #fic recs #the terror amc #the terror 2018 #amcs the terror #fic reclist #short fics #angst #smut #fanpoetry #pwp #let me be your fic sommelier #mostly fitzier ngl #it is the juggernaut #terror camp 2022 #terrorcamp2022 #tc22 #terrorcamp22 #terror camp #tasting flight #the terror

[thewholedamnboulangerie]

oooooooooh im watching ep 4 now and. well.

ALANNA CAN'T KEEP GETTING HOTTER EVERY SINGLE EPISODE WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS AN ATTACK ON ME PERSONALLY

"i don't know if she's ever been happy" I'M NOT SURE IF THAT LINE WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT ALANNA IS OSTENSIBLY MOIRAINE'S CLOSEST FRIEND (Lan excluded) AND YET SHE STILL DOESN'T KNOW. ABOUT. SIUAIRAINE. BUT IT SURE DID MAKE ME THINK ABOUT IT!!!! I AM BITING!!!

THE GHEALDANIAN RED OOOOOOOOH I AM NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED TODAY. BITING!!!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!

i am not willing to discuss what sort of area of my favourite character ranking liandrin is currently inhabiting god bless 🙏

WOLFBROTHER ARC LET'S! FUCKING! GOOOOOOOOOOO

HOPPER 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

alksfjsdlkgjldfg WHAT are non book-readers making of the Lanfear plot. I literally need to know. The dynamics are so fucking crunchy insane but like only if you KNOWWWWW. If you don't Know this must seem like the most outrageously nonsensical tropey writing on the planet asklfjskdgjdfklgjdfklg

THIS LIANDRIN & NYNAEVE SCENE IM CLAWING AT THE. FUMKIN WALLS

i amb. going fucking INSANE

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO ASK ME VERY NICELY OVER TEA OHHHHHHHHH IM GOING TO COMMIT WAR CRIMES

EGWENE AND ELAYNE SHOULD KISS!! THEY SHOULD KISS!!! I WANT THEM TO KISS AND IT NEEDS TO HAPPEN!! SHUT UP ABOUT RAND AL'THOR LET THE GIRLS KISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FALME! FALME! FALME! LITERALLY LET'S FUUUUUUUUUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"you are a complication" MMMMMMMSKLDFJDLKGJDFLKGJLFKGHJDLKFGJDLKFJGKLDFJGLKSDAKLFJSLDKFJLDGDFG IM EATING GLASS IM EATING GLASS. GLASS GLASS GLASS

ISHAMAEL BITCH TF U DOING HERE

somehow this is the first time i've actually grasped how cairhien is supposed to be pronounced

MMMDSKFJDSGKLSDFJGDLFKJG OKAY AS A BOOK-READER (...ignore that i've only read like 20% of the series IGNORE IT) I HAVE GOT TO ADMIT THIS IS THE FUNNIEST POSSIBLE WAY THEY COULD HAVE PLAYED OUT THE LANFEAR PLOT FUCKING HELL. LIKE I HAVE TO CONCEDE IT DOES FUCKING SLAP. SDKLFJDSLKF LITERALLY ACTRESS OF THE CENTURY MY GOD. she's like if a femme fatale was. well. idek what but oh my god askldjslkf im in HYSTERICS

"did you just CHANNEL" gIRL

sorry no i can't get over this i literally hated rand's book 2 arc sooooooo much but holy fuck it had to be adapted SOME way or another and this is really truly genuinely THE funniest way. i love it here fr fr

GOD SHE IS LITERALLY JUST A POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW WHO IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN ON THE PLANET AND ALSO SOOOOOOO EVIL IM OBSESSED WITH HER FR

HOLY FUCK THAT ENDING IM ASKLFJALKDJFLKASDGJLKDFJGLDKFGJ MOTHERFUCKER

#wheel of time

[deathbxnny]

Dude

Duuuuuuuude

FUuuuuuuuuck

Quit chopping the onions, I can barely read through all the tearsss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh my god, man, you did such an incredible job with my request. That hurt so fucking good, I was legit this close to crying at the ending there.

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-----♡

Oh man, I'm so glad you loved it, Anon!! I was really worried that it sucked but this confirms that it was good after all lmao-

But with that said, thank you again for your great request. I enjoyed writing it hehe<33

-----♡

#bxnny-talks

[pose100]

Today I finished Echo after an intense week of gameplay. Fuuuuuuuuuck, I don't remember the last time something made me feel so many emotions in so few days. I really can't explain in words how it left me, so I won't. Also it's the first time I've read something in like, two years, so that was nice. I will read The Smoke Room and Arches only when they are done. I want to read Arches sooooooo fucking bad after I saw the character designs, I love them, Cameron is already my favorite.

#furry visual novel #echo project #echo visual novel #echo vn #arches #the smoke room

[mermaidsirennikita]

top 5 werewolves you would fuuuuuuuuuck?

LOLLLLLL I HATE. This is actually difficult, because there are not many onscreen werewolves that I think really... work? And the casting can negatively impact some. Like, I love the Huntsman from The Company of Wolves, but... I cannot fuck that man.... I'm not gonna fuck anyone from Teen Wolf, because they're all Teen Wolves and I'm not a monster.......

--(The Unfortunately Named) Jack Russell, Werewolf by Night. 1) As we've covered, I've long harbored a Gael Thing and 2) I really love Jack!!! I love how he's quiet but is also capable of great violence, and so good at having the moment where he quivers as the heroine touches his face and he remembers "oh yes, it's her". I'm... weak for that.

--Laurie, Trick 'r Treat. You know, I'm not usually one for Anna Paquin, but the Little Red Riding Hood thing in the end and the delivery of "my, my... what BIG eyes you have" really does work here.

So yeah, after that I think I'm left with book werewolves, to which I say:

--Lachlain, King of the Lykae (we'll call that a surname), Immortals After Dark. I really just love him. He's the worst. Like, honestly? Should be in prison, probably. But he already was in prison! Burning alive! For 150 years! I just find the fact that he gnawed his own leg off to find a woman, found her, realized she was a one of his mortal enemies the vampire horde who had imprisoned him, went "welp this dick ain't gonna suck itself" and took her back to a hotel room that she had to pay for because he didn't have any money..... hot. I'm fine.

--Grayson Hemming, Cambric Creek After Dark (nobody does shit during daylight). Truly one of the worst men I've read about. A militant werewolf rights activist. Rich. Throws Lupercalia parties and then gets mad when his fuckbuddy doesn't show up to them. Calls her babydoll during sex, a thing I went "ew" at, lying to myself.

--Vanessa Blevin, Cambric Creek After Dark. Vanessa is also really hot tho! Would be their third. There's a part of the book where she's sitting on his face and is coming down from an orgasm and is really pissed that he hasn't passed out, and I personally find that very charming. There's also a part from a different book that's about his brother where Grayson is like "she bit my balls during a blow job, should I have this looked at by a doctor" and everyone is like "yes" so I assume that she bites deeply.

#but for real onscreen werewolf content is severely lacking in terms of sexiness

[furrbbyx]

Monster March d.7: rut-struck

A 24 yr old werewolf is suddenly stuck by their first breeding urge but it's in the middle of the library on campus late at night. POV of the werewolf. The werewolf sweats and frets over what to do to relieve the strongest of their feelings until they can get back to the pack. Their parents are going to be so proud. Thinking no one is in the graduate study section this late at night he rushes up to the secluded level and begins to relieve themselves in the weak moonlight behind the stacks. The moonlight is weak but still helps them shift slightly because they aren't in a lot of control since they're being controlled by base biological functions. A curious monster friendly human catches them with their pants down. Sex scene in a library.

She offers to to help with their rut cycle, by inviting them to their home for the next week until they calm down.

MC: Bayani "Ray" POV

Love interest: Pam, or Jackie, or Shay idk

Initially I tried to keep it gender neutral but I guess I succumbed. This was fun but it was kind of regular, that's how I feel about all werewolf stories. So I got bored writing and this remains unfinished. Anyway suspend your disbelief and enjoy this pov.

approx 1100 words

reader has a peen, maybe they/he pronouns

Fuck no, not now! Suddenly tremors are shaking through you when just moments ago you had control of yourself. Your thoughts are foggy, your skin is hot and feels too tight, you compulsively swallow the extra saliva pooling in your mouth.

Studying your psychology research at the campus library is usually pretty mundane. You've been focusing on the arguments laid out by the really boring author of the article you're reading without a problem. Out of nowhere now your body is betraying you.

Since your first change you've been pretty much in control of the transformation that turns you from a normal human Filipino-american into a sleek sable colored predator from mythical legend. Yet there's one more milestone in a young were-pup's life that signals the true beginning of their maturity. Their rut.

A werewolf's first rut is just as overwhelming as their first change under the full moon. Most of the time there are signals that let the shifter know when this might be an issue so they can get back to their pack and experience the new, powerful, sexual urges in a controlled safe, and supportive environment.

In the past week you admit your body has been a little unpredictable, but nothing really has alerted you to this...Well, your lips twist in a wry self depreciating smirk.

Lately there have been times you've been overwhelmed by fantasies of stalking prey. When you went out to the bar with friends this weekend you couldn't help being more aggressive and flirtatious with them even though you'd never felt any urge like that before. You've been sleeping more, and having a hard time waking up to your alarms which is making you late for class and your teaching duties. And if you're being honest you've been having the strange urge to howl and pant when you pass by a particularly attractive person. Very unexpected.

Maybe you shouldn't have dismissed those red flag so quickly because there were very obviously signs of your changing body.

It's hard going through two puberties.

You swipe a hand over your face and look around the library wondering what to do. Maybe you have a little time before this gets bad. You look at your phone and think about calling your dad or one of your older brothers. Even if Marcellus or Pop could get here it would take hours for them to make the drive. Not a good option.

A cramp hits your lower belly and you exhale with a groan feeling a mixture of pain and pleasure.

Maybe I'm not really rutting, you think, trying to rationalize your way out of this.

You know, from obsessives tracking the phases of the moon, that it's not time for your shift. The moon only has a weak power over you right now in it's waning phase

Fuuuuuuuuuck. You groan again. You watch your skin breakout in goosebumps. You are definitely sweating. Thankfully this section of the library is pretty deserted at 1am. Graduate students can usually be found here slumped over dissertations or capstones and combing the stacks for arcane academic knowledge, but since it's far from the end of the semester so it's empty. You look around making sure you don't sense anyone.

There's a light switch near the door though.

Better hide my shame you think, giddily.

Your idea to cut the lights it stalled when you stand. Your head is swimming, and your vision is so blurred you have to grab the table for a few moments while you adjust. Bent over the table, hot and panting like this you're still thinking you might have the flu or...

Another cramp rolls over you, this time with an overbearing wave of arousal that you have never experienced. Your hot skin tingles with sensations. The movement of your shirt and you breath heavily is causing it to brush against your chest, your hard nipples and stomach. The athletic shorts you're wearing had already been tight around your muscled thighs but now the pressure of the fabric makes your mind go blank. And worst of all your cock, which had basically been functional to this point is raging between your legs. Thick and insistent, threatening to mushroom out the waistband of your shorts like a lurid fleshy fruit.

Throwing your head back you let out a growl with the next cramp that wracks your body. And without meaning to that growl turns into a keening howl.

That briefly shakes you into control of your brain. With unnatural speed you get the lights off casting the study room into darkness, then slip deeper into the rows of bookshelves, before another wave of mind melting horniness grips your body.

Panting so hard you can hear it you lean against the hard spines of the books and suffer the sensations being forced on your body.

So he's going to pull down his shorts around his thighs and notice weeping werewolf meat. Then get the idea to try and take the edge off, bc that might give him time to get home or call a pack member. He take off his shirt planning to use it to catch the inevitable spunk when the clouds part and the weak moonlight shafts directly on him like a precisely shot arrow.

This causes a slight transform which is ecstatic. Now he's mindless.

As he begins to stroke the turgid pulsing length he notices a scent int he air. A girl, and his instincts take over even more. his feral brain has mostly taken over and he can't stop stroking with that scent in his nose.

is someone there? So maybe I can do this from a narrator pov. Like blah blah blah the life of a young wolf. And here we have...who's in for a long night. Kind of wonder years? Or like those old school sex ed films.

[thissithhappens]

And it worked out brilliantly for you, didn’t it? Your kitto is safe, happy, and healthy. Maybe that was part of it. Fuck fuck fuck. You ask me to my face what’s bothering me in context, I want to tell you, I’ve always secretly and deeply yearned for this. Someone to ask why and what. You always do. Always always always. 30 days, 6 months, doesn’t fucking matter. You remember, you think, you ask, you make me feel like the most important standardized test of your academic career. I want to do molly with you— I want to open up and I want to fuck and I want to be closer to you. I want to pull you as close as possible. Granted, the second you say let go I will. And I don’t plan on suffocating you in the meantime. But fuuuuuuuuuck. Bestie? Best friend? Lover? YOU???? The safety in your arms is STUPID. Seriously, who are you?? How’d you do this to me? You were nobody until I heard you wanted to hookup, then you exploded into someone of top priority. How?? What did you do to make feel so safe. It has to be how alike we are. It has to be how emotional we’ve both been. You said a minute ago that you were comfortable with me. It meant a lot, even then. That was a fun night. You’re always fun. I liked our Tupac conspiracies earlier, especially since I have no idea where it came from.

God you’re special to me. I don’t know if it’s even a twin flame situation….. but we are certainly one in many ways. “Whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same”? I swear by it. It doesn’t feel “past life” familiar, although it does give “purposeful Universe” vibes. Maybe this is the first life we’ve met, but holy fuck was it meant to happen. I’ve always felt that way about you. I almost don’t feel like I would’ve been able to get over my last ex if it weren’t for the way you treated/treat me. You prove to me regularly now that you’re thinking of me. I really only have to say it once, too. And you usually don’t really make me feel bad. I forgive you every time. It’s fixable. If it’s fixable to you, it’s fixable to me. Fuck it. Fuck em. Fuck the world. You and me, kid. I fuckin love you. Thank you for all the joy, comfort, intimacy, relaxation, confidence, and assurance you bring into my life. Thank you for showing me that maybe not everyone is my mom. Thank you for being the one to make it click. I’ve been slowly coming back to myself again, I have more room to read news articles and look up questions about recent legislation or prevalent court cases. It’s not all you, most of it is me. But I’ve been able to do things in our relationship now that I never could before. Maybe it’s just my frontal lobe. Maybe it’s the fact that when I think of you without interruption from intrusive thoughts, it’s all calm. No guilt, no doubt, no anxiety. Just, “yeah that’s my baby, and i can’t wait to keep watching him grow”. We grow together. We both get scared, there’s a lot of new stuff going on. But we’re safe for each other. I hope. I hope you’d tell me if you felt like you were falling to a depression spell. I hope you’re not this tired because of me and it is indeed mainly work. Even if it hurts me, I’ll leave if it helps you.

All I’ve wanted is to keep you from getting hurt by my hand. Let this not be the start of it.

[mrsandok]

Life After Teaching

I do a private post every December recapping the year in a sentence or two for each month. I call it my “Life Twitter.” 

Here are excerpts from 2021:

There’s other relics I leave behind in forms of IG stories, posts, photography, and the very rare blog post.

Reading last year’s Life Twitter and going through my IG posts/stories to narrow down what type of person I was reminded me how much I was suffering as a teacher–especially this time last year (Dec. ‘21).

Things are so different now. For the first time in my life, I’m not defined by my job. I’m not bound to the institution and politics of education. I’m not privy to workplace gossip and drama that I was never interested in the first place. 

I’m free.

Working as a teacher was soul-draining. I’m an idealist. I chose that profession because I enjoyed the idea of being myself and helping others learn to be themselves by fostering their critical thinking.

I wrote about all this in Meet EJ - The Idealist.

This post is about the reflection of experiencing the first semester that I’m no longer a part of. The last time I was free from a high school schedule was the year I worked as a bank teller when I was 19.

This is the most mental-growth I’ve experienced in my life. 

I don’t say that lightly because I’m comfortable admitting that I was living an imposter’s life my entire pursuit of education as a career.

I was an incredibly cynical teacher knowing that living in a perfect world will never be within reach. That led to some pretty fucking dark lectures.

Some of my favorite cynical themes to teach:

The American Dream is a fantasy and only attainable by luck or generational privilege. 

Fictional depictions of love being amazing are problematic in the reality of relationships.

Defining, pursuing, and living a life you want is the ultimate test of free will. Parents, institutions, anything other than yourself will only take you so far.

Pursuing wealth to acquire material things or status is one of the emptiest things you can do in life.

Rules are necessary to make sense of the chaos; however, these rules are often followed blindly to the point where you lose yourself.

Values/principles only matter when they’re tested. Anyone can say how they feel about something. It takes a special someone to act on it when it's tested.

I named those six because I’m happy I never compromised who the fuck I was when I was a teacher. I’m trying my best to put these lessons into practice now.

The American Dream is a fantasy and only attainable by luck or generational privilege. 

I’m finally comfortable being uncomfortable with not having a definable career at the moment. I was able to attain this comfort once I put things in perspective. I realized a lot of my cynicism in my lectures were manifestations of my frustrations with myself.

I settled into education. I allowed the institution to define my values to “fit in” rather than foster my passions into something productive and creative.

I was productive in my career as an English and Art teacher because my lesson plans were engaging and fun for me to execute. I wasn’t really doing this with my students’ lives in mind. It was really all about how I work in a career that I’m naturally good at and finding ways to continue to not compromise who I am.

But, to put it bluntly and plainly, I was blindly following the lie the American education system continues to tell its students to this day:

“Study in School → Job Related to School = Happiness”

FuuuUuUUUucK THAT.

I’m a shining example of a person too scared, too lazy, too whatever to make moves in my teens/early 20s to question what career, job, trade, etc. will make me truly happy.

I didn’t grow up wanting to be an educator. I simply settled into it because I was working as an Instructional Aide and got accustomed to how high school works as a faculty member. I was lost and found solace in the familiar.

I think every generation has a version of scared young people.

The “Lost Generation” focused on the listlessness young men had after returning from WWI. We have technology...this is what we fucking do with it?

The Great Depression + WWII fucked up more young people to the point where we began to normalize chaos and pain.

The Vietnam War forced lost teenagers to fight a war through the draft while showcasing the ineffectiveness of counterculture.

Gen X continued to wallow in the misery but started to create pieces of contemporary art, film, and music that showcased their version of being “Lost.” 

Gen Z, as far as I’m concerned, has a few outliers that show the potential of shifting through the bullshit. The majority; however, are more concerned with being stunted from the pandemic, internet addiction, and/or chasing meaningless clout.

I left out Millennials because this entire post is dedicated to us, motha fuckaaaaas!!!

I followed the American Dream blindly thinking all my efforts in my English + Philosophy foci in college would lead me to a fulfilling career.

As I write this, I’m realizing that I’m very jaded at the education system and I have been for quite some time. It was Kafkaesque that I had to wake up at 6AM to show up to a place where my values don’t align.

With the understanding how important Art is in my life, I’m not sure if more school with an Art focus would have put me in a better place.

But that’s the easiest answer people have been following blindly for decades: more school.

Myself included.

Fictional depictions of love are problematic in the reality of relationships.

I never pandered to the Hollywood depictions of love. I’d revel in the ugly parts of love in the books we read because that’s what’s real to me.

The “realest” lesson I’d give is having students discuss the importance of loving yourself first before expecting someone else to love you the way you’d like them, too.

Frankenstein’s monster had a negative view of himself. There’s no way a mate would automatically love him in the way he expects.

Jake Barnes defines his life by his injury and expects Brett to love his flaw. Who the fuck would love someone that hates himself?

Jay Gatsby LITERALLY changed his name and past to be accepted by rich assholes. What a waste of time, meaning, and effort.

All those miserable fucks were miserable because they never took the time to love themself. 

I randomly listen to Bieber’s Love Yourself and think about the profound realizations he had at 21.

The speaker of the song realizes his love interest is just using him for meaning. Not just money, fame, or status. But, her general meaning to life. 

Without the speaker, she’s boring. She’s selfish in the sense that the speaker is all she needs in life and doesn’t want to compromise.

The speaker realizes he’s happier without that negative energy. I interpret “You should go and love yourself” as a euphemism of “Go F yourself” mixed in with “figure out your own life before you continue fucking up mine”

I think that’s why the people I dated while I was a teacher never had any sustainable future. I was more concerned with the selfish feeling of being wanted rather than knowingly going into a relationship where I’m willing to compromise.

I was stubborn in my personal life because I wanted a sense of control at all times. I had control with who I was as a teacher since I was the one with power. But, like alluded to in Meet EJ - the Idealist, and the opener of this post, I was never content or happy with the person I settled into being. Unfortunately, it manifested in my personal life.

It was a complete fluke meeting the girl I’m dating now. It’s working because I’m no longer lying to myself by saying I’m content in life with a job I don’t like. 

It’s the first time where I’m honest with who I am, what my values are, and where I want to be in the near and far future. I have no intention of ever living an imposter’s life ever again knowing I had 16 years of that. She’s in the same boat with building a career based on her values and we’re embracing the creative life together. She’s the baddest bitch I know.

Defining, pursuing, and living a life is the ultimate test of free will. Parents, institutions, anything other than yourself will only take you so far.

Leaving teaching behind meant I’m leaving 16 years of preparing for a career in education. The biggest reason why I decided to do it is I still have some fucking heart in me to be put in an uncomfortable place.

There are a lot of people that don’t have the gumption to be put in an uncomfortable place. They’re miserable at their job and it’s the life they’re choosing to do. They have the free will to quit, but they consciously don’t.

It’s neither a good or bad thing. Maybe the feeling of providing for a family is reason enough to be miserable at your job. Maybe they literally put all their eggs in this one basket for that career and simply counting the years until retirement. Maybe it’s the only thing they can do.

I view a lot of teachers and administrators in that light. There are so many of them that hate their job. There are so many of them that choose to stay there because it’s all they know. The take Teacher-On-Special-Assignment (TOSA) positions, or follow the Peter Principle and fail upwards and take on administrative jobs to stay within the system they’ve learned so well.

But I’m able to see through their misery. It manifests in personality changes or petty shit said in public.

I’m the first to admit that I’m jaded with the education system; nevertheless, I’ve had these observations my entire career observing miserable adults.

There was a principal that died by suicide earlier this week.  He was 51 years old and worked at multiple schools. 

I don’t know him nor do I want to speculate what his values when it comes to education. However, his final facebook post struck me as surreal because…well…I get it. The most devastating thought is he may have attached the meaning of his life to his title of being an educator and being placed on administrative leave and having his fate unknown was devastating. 

The only genuine attachment I have to his death is, “Oh. I can definitely see someone who works in education to be that miserable to do something like that.”

As cold as that may sound, it was one of the biggest reasons I did not want to open up edjoin.org to settle in something that’s familiar. 

I was slowly becoming a shell of that idealistic person I worked my entire life to be if I surrounded myself with miserable people–teachers, administrators, and emotionally-stunted students. 

In short, fuck all that.

I’m not closing the door on teaching entirely. Maybe it’s something I want to go back to if advertising isn’t for me either. But I just know I’m done with the toxicity that post-pandemic teaching comes with.

I still have some fucking fight in me to see where Art can take me. I’ll be damned if I don’t at least try.

Pursuing wealth to acquire material things or status is one of the emptiest things you can do in life.

I haven’t really bought something unnecessarily or had an expensive meal because…I don’t really need them?

I finally have a good balance of buying essentials and not being wasteful.

I know what it was like to have money. And I can assure you, it didn’t make me happy.

The biggest thing I miss is being able to care for my parents. However, this shift in lifestyle has been a gift knowing my parents now understand boundaries and my pursuit of happiness.

The time will come when I’ll have the amount of money I was used to in my teaching career. I’m making the most of it now knowing I have so much freedom to do what makes me happy.

What makes me happy is art and people.

I essentially willingly regressed to who I was in my teens and my 20s. 

It’s awesome.

Rules are necessary to make sense of the chaos; however, these rules are often followed blindly to the point where you lose yourself.

Teaching the concept of free will to seniors was always intense knowing I was trying to warn them not to follow the expectations of the American Dream. Little did I know this was a projection of how miserable I was throughout my career.

One of the curses of free will is the overthinking portion of it. With the ability to do anything, what do we settle on and actively pursue?

Within this framework, I’d talk about the importance of rules because it organizes the chaos we live in.

For example, In The Stranger, Mersault deserve to be separated from society if he has no remorse for killing someone because “the sun was hot.”

A nonfiction example of the importance of following rules is acknowledging that school is necessary to have qualified doctors, lawyers, etc. to contribute to society.

I always emphasized to pursue those careers because you truly want it. Not the salary, not appeasing your parents. Don’t fucking try. 

I’ve always admired people that change their careers because of their careful introspection. 

Introspection is uncomfortable as fuck but life isn’t worth living if you rather be miserable and faking contentment.

Ken Jeong left a career as a doctor to become an actor. I know another doctor doing the same thing with real estate.

My friend Jen left major companies knowing they no longer have anything spiritually substantial to offer her.

My sister asked my friend Taro why he left trading. He aptly explained, “I was working really hard for nothing.”

I repeated that same line to my students knowing the only thing they know–I repeat–the only fucking thing–many of them are working for is a grade.

There’s no fucking grades in life. You fail. You succeed. You learn. You repeat.

It’s OK to work hard toward something–as long as you know why you’re doing it. It was so disheartening and scary knowing those students may never ask themselves scary introspective questions.

Ironic to the tone of this post, Taro’s path involved pursuing a PhD program. However, he’s doing this because it aligns with his values not the “dangerous” lost path of falling back on more school hoping you’d ~magically~ find the answer.

--

One of the beautiful things about teaching was recognizing the potential in all my students. I was 10000% living vicariously through their lack of responsibility and freedom they possessed.

I was too scared/lazy/whatever to realize that I need to take my lectures into practice and define and work toward a goal I create for myself–not some bullshit career path that I blindly swallowed with becoming a teacher.

Values/principles only matter when they’re tested. Anyone can say how they feel about something. It takes a special someone to act on it when it's tested.

I remember a lecture I gave when Trump bluntly said he wanted to ban Muslims entering the country when he was running as a candidate. 

I told my students something to the effect of, “This will anger a lot of people. A lot of people will voice their anger. But a lot of those voices will remain just voices because many of them won’t sacrifice their privilege when it's tested. Would I have it in me to stop the police rounding up my students if it puts my livelihood in danger? I’d like to say yes. But I have the comfort of saying this in a hypothetical scenario. I won’t know until it’s tested.”

I’m feeling some version of this now. 

“Art is all you need to be happy.”

At what cost? Did I peak when I was earning well over six-figures? Will I envy that time if I become unhappy with art?

Right now my values are being tested.

Sure, it’s uncomfortable. Nevertheless, I can’t think of a time where I’ve been happier knowing who I am, where I am, and where I’m going. 

Most importantly, I’m ecstatic with who I get to spend this time with.

Fuck that toxic energy at work.

---

I wanted to write this post knowing I’m bitter at a lot things. It was one of the reasons I was avoiding this post. I was scared at facing my introspection into written words.

But at the end of that tunnel is taking that bitterness and focusing it on the “right” things.

I’m bitter that education only prepared me for more education. Moreover, studying liberal arts only prepared me to teach liberal arts. 

I’m thankful that liberal arts and humanities made me well-rounded and resourceful

I’m bitter that my “good” lectures were manifestations of the frustrations I had with myself blindly following the American Dream.

I’m thankful that I’m prepared for this moment knowing I tried my heartfelt best to prepare my students.

I’m bitter that I spent my 20s and early 30s masking my unhappiness with my career.

I’m thankful that I did something about it. This could have easily been the rest of my life

I’m bitter that I was living life vicariously through teenagers that had their entire life ahead of them.

I’m thankful that I have that same type of freedom now and have a clear sense of direction with what I want to do based on how I treated them.

I’m bitter that I had to deal with other people’s unhappy projections in the workplace all those years.

I’m thankful that I recognize their actions as projections and even more thankful that I don’t have to deal with it anymore.

I’m bitter that it took 16 years for me to fully embrace being an artistic creative.

I’m thankful that it came in the first place rather than a lifetime of continuing to deny it.

I’m bitter that the education system is flawed and there are some terrible leaders in place to perpetuate its flaws.

I’m thankful I’m no longer suffering by directly being a part of it.

Meet EJ - The Idealist was written to remind myself that I have to define and chase an ideal in order to remain an idealist.

This post was written to give myself assurance that teaching may have been for me in my 20s/early 30s. But it’s not for me at this point in my life. 

I’m tired of feeling angry, frustrated, and empty at a job that gives me money and health insurance. 

I’m hungry for creating art and making meaningful connections with anyone I come across.

Thank you for fuckin’ with me.

sandōk

[billdenbrough]

Richie was down on his hands and knees, staring at him desperately Richie was down on his hands and knees, staring at him desperately Richie was down on his hands and knees, staring at him desperately Richie was down on his hands and knees, staring at him desperately Richie was down on his hands and knees, staring at him desperately Richie was down on his hands and knees, staring at him desperately Richie was down on his hands and knees, staring at him desperately RICHIE WAS DOWN ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES STARING AT HIM DESPERATELY i am simply losing my mind

#beep beep jane #richie tozier #reddie #me reading any of the deddie scene: fuuuuuuuuuck #this makes me especially unhinged i can’t explain it it’s the fucking desperation of it all the sheer helplessness and hopelessness #hey fellas is it gay to be desperately on your hands and knees staring at him desperately #im so upset all i can think abt is everything contained in that desperation #like richie dancing around his feelings for years looking at them sidelong only trying to find eddie in everyone else everywhere else #richie wrapping it all up in a laugh in a joke real feelings in amusement dancing away bc he can’t bear to have eddie Know he’s the monster #richie telling eddie over and over how much he loves him but wrapped in a laugh and richie thinking he’ll have all the time in the world to #keep doing it...... richie staring at him desperately realising that time has run out #I’M NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME LADS!!!!!

[keichanz]

don’t you hate it when you go into a fic that only tagged InuKag and yet it starts off and stays for the majority of the fic as Inu/NotKag and Kag/NotInu 😖 totally ruined my reading night

what the fuuuuuuuuuck bro that would annoy the fuck outta me!! i mean what's the point in tagging it inukag if its not inukag? just so people would read it or to get more hits? goddamn. yeah it'd ruin it for me too. i'm sorry love :(

[ecoamerica]

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[mosesins]

me: oh this fic looks nice

fic: #unrequited love

me: just kidding

#i can’t read unrequited fics at alllll #i know it usually ends in them together or some shit but #unrequited love fucking sucks #like im not talking about like ‘oh i have a crush on this person but they dont like me’ #i mean years and YEARS of pining with someone youre hella close too #that shit fucking hurts #soooooo bad #especially if ya didnt know you fuckin loved that person for years until it was too late #just the concept of it brings back some not so fun times #fuck now i wanna cry #fuuuuuuuuuck

[fandomtrxsh19]

So, when I read ACOSF, I made kind of play by play notes as a listened to it( I read the audiobook) so.........here’s the chaos

HEAVY SPOILERS FOR ACOSF!!

CASSIAN SAID FUCK

WHOA there’s a LOT of swearing in this

“It’s SEVEN in the morning gods damn it” -nesta archeron

OVERSIZED SHIRTS FOR THE WIN

Feyre and Rhys have 5 houses? Not surprised...

full, inviting breasts......BIG BOOBS OMG CASSIAN YOU HORNY SON OF A BITCH

7 siphons to keep his magic under control? Dayum

So, she rode this unnamed male like a fucking roller coaster?

Depression sex? Depression sex

“Her father was ashes in the wind” DAMN THATS EDGY

“A moment of release among the darkness inside her” NESTA BBY THIS ISNT HEATHY

“She avoided both of them” not surprised

OOOOH RHYS HATES HER TEA IS BEING SPILT

So, depression sex and depression alcohol? Yup

*checks chapter count* 80 CHAPTERS??!?! Oh shit this is gonna be a triiiip

OOOOOOOOO RHYS AND NESTA BEEF

Feyre trying to apologize to nesta........she’s trying

“You’re done, Nesta” The fuuuuuck.....

So, nesta’s moving and training with cassian...........Feyre, this isn’t a good idea omg

Feyre holy shit what the fuck are you doing, you TOTAL HELICOPTER SISTER?

“I never want to speak to you again!” damn

ELAIN TRAUMA!!! Yay???

MOR FOCUSED CHAPTER!!!?

she has brown eyes? Ok

FUCK SHES WEARING A BLUE DRESS FUCK

nesta knows about mor NESTA KNOWS ABOUT MOR!!!

“I am worthless and I am nothing. I hate what I am.” DAYUM I’ve been in that exact mindset numerous times. I can relate, Nesta

Briallen? Who the fuck is that?

Scars being trapped in magic? Good fuck that’s dark

“Ooh a dark skin character? Lit

OH SHIT SHE CANT FLY HER WINGS ARE CLIPPED

Is her name Emery?

“I am the monster your fear” BBY OMG GET THERAPY

Gwyn? Seems a bit aloof

“Two gentle conversations” GOOD JOB

Fairy lights omg lol

Nesta reading smutty books.....I’m imagining this omg

THE HOUSE IS ALIVE? Sweet

OMG ELAIN SHIT!!!! BBY

“All she wanted to do was touch him” OOOOOHHHHH NESSIAN

“All I need is a hot meal and a good book.” Mood

Nesta’s worried about Mor??? REEEEEEE

“Nesta needed Feyre more than she realized.“ OOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOO FAE BARGANS

They’re bound by magic on the body?? Ooh

IT’S TRAINING TIME BITCHES

“I don’t hate you too,Cassian” OMGGGGGG REEEEE

Nesta SMILED

THEY MENTIONED VALKYRIES!!!!!

“You might be my only friend.” HMMMMMMM

*hears how cassian was born * OMG HOLY SHIT CASSIAN

*hears cassians backstory* DAMN THESE CHARACTERS NEED THERAPY

OOP SLIGHT DEPRESSION SEX

OOP CLOTHING REMOVAL

“I’ve loved you since the first moment I held you in my arms.” HMMMMMMMM

I’m loving this Nessian sparring training.

ELAIN! SHES IN THE STORY KIND OF

Elain has small boobs........same

“I thought I would drop by to see how you were doing.” AWWWWWWWWW

Yayy.....awkward sister talks........

“She was the monster.” Nesta.............I can relate.

Nesta’s angry at Elain.............

Elain’s trying to reach out and Nesta’s denying it.

MY HEART

AGAIN...THE👏RA👏PY👏

“No more seeing her sisters without her permisson.” That’s smart.

Soooooooooo......Rhys is now a German Shepard.........?

OMG CASSIAN KILLED EVERYONE THAT HELPED KILL HIS MOM........good for him

“Use that training and make me.” OOOOOOOMGGGGGG

Rhys is overprotective of Feyre and shields her......daaaaaaaaaaaaamn

“What exactly happened in the cauldron?” FEYRE BAD IDEA BAD IDEA BAD IDEA

Again, Nesta, ✨THERAPY✨

Put a stop to what, D-does the IC know of the ✨depression smut?✨

“There was touching, but with her permission” WE 👏STAN 👏A KING👏

THAT ASKS👏FOR👏CON👏SENT👏

“Who do you think I am?” “A drunk fool who’s wasting my time?” OOOOOOOHHHHH SHOOTS FIRED!!!

Emery and Nesta to Emery’s cousin: GO HOME YOUR DRUNK ASSHOLE

*hears Nesta’s grand✨mama✨* me: grandmama, it’s me....ANASTASIA

Bruh...NESTA BIT CASS’S EAR

ugh the tool

“Baby making” hehe lol

“Nesta like gwyn”...............could she also be biiiiiiiii??????????!!!!!! YAY FIRST FRIEND IM PROUD OF YOUUUUU

NESTA SMILES AGAIN YAY!!

Alright, Meryl is BITCH

GWYN’S A QUARTER NYMPH?? Cool

“She’s failed everything.” BBY

HER POWERS? HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT SILVER FLAMES

ICY FIRE??? FUUUUUUUUUCK

Nesta must’ve been petrified being surrounded by fire

It’s a dream? THE FUCK

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT SHE WAS DREAMING????

Cassian saw HER TRAUMA?????? FUUUUUUCK

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HER POWER IS DEAAAAATHH FUUUUUUCK

THE BABY HAS WIIIIINGS!!!!!!

Why is Rhys angry about the wing thing?

Ohhhhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiit the tool

*hearing the possibilities of half Illyrian baby* OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH FUUUUUCK OMG

“I loved it when you fucked my mouth cassian?” GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH NEEESTAAAAA THIS ISNT HEALTHY

“What could go wrong?” DONT JINX IT

fairy monsters? OHOHOHOOOO

NONONONOOOOOO NOT AN ASH ARROW

BLACK EYES???? Fuck fuck are they in the cauldron?

OMG THE KELPIE IS DOING SHIT TO NESTA!!! Are they on the cauldron?

the MAAAAAAASK

ohOOOOOOOMGOMGOMGOMG SHE SUMMONED THE FUCKING DEAD REEEEEEEEEEE

Omg NESTAS POWERS ARE SO FUCKING COOL

She LITERALLY HAS AN UNDEAD ARMYYYYY

death HERself........badass

“Because you and cassian has been giving each other sultry looks all morning” SHE KNOWS

“For the first time in her life, she finally felt good in her own skin.” GROWTH

Omg Nesta created a swooooord!!!!! Cool

ITS INFUSED WITH MAGIC??? HELL YEAH

“I can’t lie to her!” SIIIIIIIMP

“I’d be careful when fucking her.” Oh amren

FUUUUUUCK FUCK BOOOOOOOOO TAMLIN

“You will not touch us.” YES TELL HIM

“I can’t believe Feyre ever loved tamlin.” ME TOO

“Elain saw everything Nesta did.” Daaaaaaaaamn

OOOOOOOO NESTAS PIIIIIIIISSED

OOOOOOOOOOO SECRETS FEYRE’S PIIIIIIISED

Nesta messed up and I think she realizes that

Rhys is pissed now and wants to kill Nesta....SHIIIIIIIT

Nesta: heads for a tavern me: NONONONONO GODS DAMN IT YOU’VE COME SO FAR

“I will fight for him. For us. Until I can’t anymore.” FEYRE IS GONNA BE A GREAT MOM

“Wishing to disappear into nothing.” I’ve been there.

“Cassian knew Nesta hated herself, but didn’t know how sometimes she wanted to unexist.” I RELATE TO THAT SHIT

“She had been born wrong.” AWWWWW BBY SHIIIIIT

“Was she worth being counted?” I CAN RELATE

*hearing Nesta blaming herself for her fathers death and for the horrible things she’s done, saying she can’t fix it* SHIT IM CRYING (I’m not joking)

“ I deserve nothing.” I CAN RELATE BITCH IM ACTUALLY CRYING

*hears Cassian calmly reassuring and comforting her* AWWWWW I NEED THIS QUOTE

CASSIAN CARES SO MUCH FOR HER I LOVE THIS

(I really needed that cassian talk. I literally wrote most of the quote down just in case. Thank you SJM)

EMERY CAN SENSE THE SEX HOLY SHIT

“After he’d fucked her with her fingers...” O NONONONOOO

*skips to chapter 52*

Lanthis??? Who the fuck is that?

“Gwyn and Emery are my friends” SHES GROWN SO MUCH!!!

26 dimensions? OH THIS IS SOME DOCTOR STRANGE SHIT

IT CANT BE KILLED

cassian and Nesta really went *yeet* .......... I’m sorry

THE SWORDS NAME IS ADORAXIA!!!!!!!!!!!sounds like a dnd character IDEAS

OHOHOHOOOOO BLACK THRONE AND A CROWN DEATH QUEEN NESTA WITH HER HAIR DOOOOOOWN

Rhys vs Cassian standoff *western duel music starts*

NESTA APOLOGIZED FOR EARLIER IM SO PROUD

Did Elain have a vision? DID SHE???

“I want you to seduce him.” NESTA THE HIDDEN BARD ROLL FOR PERSUASION

Mor teaching Nesta the waltz? NESTA AND MOR CAN NOT HATE EACH OTHER

Are they back at their childhood home? Because oooooooooooof ✨ childhood trauma✨

MOR AND NESTA HAVING A CONVERSATION YAY!!!!! (This’ll make rping them so maybe easier)

“We’re in a book!” Holy shit they know. HIDE THE FANFICTION

The relationship between Nesta, Emery, and Gwyn is so wholesome

“Oh FUCK you” .... NESTA

“I was just checking on dessert” MOOD

MOR AND NESTA ARE HAVING A FRIENDLY CONVERSATION

I sense tension between amren and Nesta

ERIS WANTS NESTA????

“I’m not with you.” Lier

A SNOWBALL FIGHT WITH THE BATBOIS??? Holy shit they do have one(1) brain cell

A sleepover with Emery, Nesta, and Gwyn? SIGN ME UP

“Do it for the miniature Pegasus!” INSIDE JOKES

OOOOHHH i see the gwynriel ship

Wait....HER POWERS MADE THE HOUSE BE ALIVE??? Sweet

Alright 2 months til FEYSAND baby

The mating bond between cassian and Nesta?????.............

“Say it, SAY IT” GODS DAMN IT NESTA SAY THE FUCKING THING

So, Nesta’s afraid she’s gonna loose her humanity?

EMERIE NESTA AND GWYN ARE IN THE BLOODRITE? Fuuuuuuuuuck

OH NO EMERIE!!!!!!

“High Fae bitch” PUT THAT ON A SHIRT

OMG OMG OMG HELL YES VALKRIES

oh Cassian you restless bastard you

*hears Emerie’s backstory and their heart to heart* AWWWWWW I LOVE THEM

“The morrigan.” The fuck Eris?

“She’d hit the archway of stone” OOOOOOOOOOF

“For being my friends when I didn’t deserve it.” AWWWWWWWWWW

What about Feyre’s pregnancy???? Hewwo?

“Lord of bastards” heh true that’s cassian alright

Wait, OTHER set of wings

CASSIAN!!!!!!!!!!

“Now, I’m going to slit your little throat.” FUUUUUUUUCK NONONONOOOOO THIS ISNT CASS FUUUUCK

What’s the trove?

NONONONONOOOO WHYD HE GET STABBED SHIT HE GOT STABBED

Nesta’s pissed.....MAGIC TIME

wait wait wait wait wait HES NOT STABBED HELL YEAH!!!!

“You are my mate, Cassian.” ITS ABOUT FUCKING TIME

Nessian: kissing when the world is in ruin

“She started bleeding hours ago. “ BABY TIME???

*hears the blood and feyre’s appearance*!FUUUUUUUUUCK

So, no C section? OOOOOOH SHIT THEYRE DOING IT

IM SCARED IM SCARED IM SCARED

“Silent babe?” Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Nesta Nesta Nesta What the fuck are you doing???????? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

SHE HAS ALL 3! ONONONOOOOOFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOOOSHE PLUCKED IT FUCK

SHE STOPPED TIME?????????

WHOS the female voice?

“ I love you, Feyre” SHE DID IT IM SO PROUD!!!!!

What is she doing what is she doing what is she doiiiiingggg?

GIVE WHAT BACK?????

WHAAAAAT? A BARGAIN WITH THE FUCKING CAULDRON???

feyres alive? FEYRE’S ALIVE!!!!!!!

NESTA THE MVP!!!!

*the sister hug* AWWWWWWWWWWW

AWWWWWW I LOVE THE NAME NYX!!!!

How much did the Cauldron take from Nesta, tho?

FEYSAND IS BEST PARENTS

Alright, I want to see LOADS OF WHOLESOME FANFICS AND FANART ABOUT DOMESTIC IC AND ELAIN AND NESTA GOT IT?

#acotar #acowar #acofas #acomaf #acosf #acosf spoilers #feyre archeron #elain archeron #nesta archeron #rhysand acotar #cassian acotar #azriel acotar #morrigan acotar #mor acotar #amren acotar #gwyneth berdara #emerie acotar

[ofmermaidsandmarauders]

hey ex-girlfriend

just a fun little drabble i did, inspired by the @the-castle-crew​; thanks to all of y’all for the motivation!!

read on AO3 or FF

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tweeted at 9:53 PM: @jimjamesjimothypotter wow @taylorswift really put out a great album with folklore. makes me miss my ex girlfriend :(

Jily Support Group

Created by Sirius Black

Sirius : um are you guys seeing this? Sirius : *one image sent* Sirius: did james and lily break up and tell nobody?

Peter: what r u tlking about?

Marlene: wait wtf

Mary: I mean Lily hasn’t answered me in a few hours. I know she’s away right now. You don’t think James means a different ex?

Remus : like who? Violet? No, even if he did miss someone other than Lily, he wouldn’t be dumb enough to tweet about it if they were still together. Remus : Which means they broke up Remus: fuck

Sirius: fuck

Peter: fuck

Mary: fuck

Marlene: fucking fuck

Broz 4 Lyfe

Sirius: ay mate, u alright?

James: yeah, wht do you mean?

Sirius: ur tweet. u sound depressed. Everyone knows folklore is the depressing album

James: yeah mate, just missing lily. I’m okay tho, i’ll be okay tho, thx for asking

Lily Come Hoooooome

Marlene: hey lil, we haven’t heard from you in a few hours, you alright?

Mary: yeah, we miss and love you soooo much

Lily: yeah, thanks for checking in. it’s been a long few days. I’m ready for this conference to be over, i just want to go home

Marlene: everything okay?

Lily: yeah? Just emotionally exhausted. You know how it is…

Jily Support Group

Sirius: SOS SOS SOS

Marlene: yeah same!!!!!

Mary: what the heck.

Peter: are we going to have to pick sides? We’re never going to be able to all hang out again :(

Remus : i mean, James is your cousin, Mary. Remus: Lily will have to understand that you’re bound to see him sometimes! I hope

Sirius: this sucks

Marlene: i think the world is ending

Remus: I honestly think you’re right. I never thought we’d see this day.

Peter: guys lily makes the best brownies do u think james will get mad if sometimes i ask her to bake me some still

Sirius: fuuuuuuuuuck i didn’t think about the brownies

Saturdays are for the BOYZ

James : hey so do u guys wanna come over maybe tomorrow or something? I feel like we haven’t hung out just the four of us James : maybe order a pizza, watch a movie or something James: u know, a true marauders mess around

Sirius : sure mate Sirius: love to

Peter: heck yeah!

Remus: You know we’re there

Tweeted at 12:45 PM @jimjamesjimothypotter: can’t wait for boys night tonight, it’s been very much needed this week

Tweeted at 1:25 PM @LilyDoe: girls night this weekend!!! I’ve missed my ladies

Jily Support Group

Marlene : oh my god Marlene : now she’s subtweeting him Marlene: so we know it wasn’t even a civil breakup

Remus : yeah he invited us for a boys night Remus : this can’t be good Remus: he always wants to have a mess around when he needs cheering up

Peter: and this time we won’t even have lily’s brownies to cheer him up

Mary: peter, would you move on from the brownies pls

Sirius: james and lily are broken up!!! We’ve got bigger problems than brownies

Peter: sorry

James & Lily 4ever

James: i can’t wait until you’re home

Lily : me either Lily : i’m so tired, james Lily : i miss you so much :( Lily: i want to snuggle with you on the couch

James : i miss you too, lil James: you’ll be home soon. James: i’m sorry your boss is being such a prat James: do you want me to beat him up for you?

Lily : honestly? Kind of disappointed you’re only offering now Lily: if you really loved me you would’ve offered 2 days ago ;)

James: my apologies, ma’am

Lily: dork xoxoxo

James: love you more :)

Tweeted at 4:37 PM: @jimjamesjimothypotter counting down the hours until @LilyDoe is home

Jily Support Group

Sirius : WTF IS HAPPENING Sirius: fuck this h/o

Marauders & the Ladies ™

Sirius: did you guys break up?

Lily: What?

James: What? No??

Marlene: wait…. What? You didn’t?

Peter: yes!!!! Brownies!!!!!

Lily : brownies? What? Lily : wtf is going on Lily: i’m not making brownies until after i get home from this conference

Sirius : *one image sent* Sirius: then why did James tweet this?

Lily: james? Wtf???

James : what! James: you are my ex-girlfriend

Lily: um this ring on my finger begs to differ?

James : yeah. you’re my fiancee now James : which means you’re not my girlfriend anymore James : so now you’re my ex-girlfriend James: if we broke up i’d have called you my ex-fiancee, duh

*Marlene has left the chat*

*Remus has left the chat*

*Mary has left the chat*

Sirius: i really hate you

*Sirius has left the chat*

Peter: if i leave the chat can i still get brownies?

Lily: what? Sure???

*Peter has left the chat*

Lily: I’m not sure who is more dramatic, you or our friends

James: um, rude

*James has left the chat*

#jily fic #jily #hp fic #harry potter fic #texting fic

[thottyimagines]

you have made a Grave Error asking for weird shit. i request a list. a list of what the konoha 12 are pretentious about. who is an art snob? who's a coffee purist? who believes the only Right Way to listen to music is live, and who is fighting with them saying vinyls are better? (but fr im glad your back thank you for taking my stupid ideas lol)

Oh fuck yes

Naruto

nart isn’t too pretentious tbh

he’s like that tiktok noise of “fuck yeah, concrete!”

Sakura

lmaooo sakura is so pretentious about everything

it’s because she hates poor people lowkey and also orphans

anyway she’s pretentious about parenting methods 

and packed lunches

and education

and brand names

Sasuke

coffee purist, tea purist, art purist, weapons snob

but for everything else, it’s straight elevator music in his head

he doesn’t fucking care, man

Choji

he isn’t stuck up about much, but he demands a certain brand of chips

it’s the only one he’ll accept, and he’s very particular about it!!!

Ino

lmao ino is soooo stuck up when it comes to clothing brands

she isn’t even stuck on certain designers, just certain brands as a whole she either loathes or loves

ino is a being of extremes; she is not neutral on things, especially with this

also, she’s an elitist with haircare

Shikamaru

he doesn’t give a fuuuuuuuuuck

Kiba

lmaooo do i need to say it? he’s so picky with dog food

like choji and his potato chips, but he’ll only buy one brand of food, treats, toys, anything

Hinata

hinata is absolutely an elitist with just about everything

food, clothing, movies, music, books, everything

it is what it is

Shino

mans only judges if you kill bugs, bro

Neji

book snob!!!

he’s not picky about most things, but he’s totally the type to let you know the book is better than the movie

and he’s always read the book

Tenten

just really pretentious about her workout routine and staying fit, tbh 

and the weapons she uses

and her workout clothes

but she looks hot at least

Rock Lee

literally the least pretentious person e v e r 

sweet baby boy doesn’t care!!! do you!!!

#naruto #naruto headcanons #konoha 12 #rock lee #tenten #neji #shino #hinata #choji #ino #shikamaru #sasuke #sakura #naruto uzumaki

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

#ACLA24 #ACLA24HighSchoolStudents #youtube #youtube video #climate leaders #climate solutions #climate action #climate and environment #climate #climate change #climate and health #climate blog #climate justice #climate news #weather and climate #environmental news #environment #environmental awareness #environment and health #environmental #environmental issues #environmental education #environmental justice #environmental protection #environmental health #high school students #high school #youth #youth of america #school