#Executive hire

[glenrecruiters]

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[numbuh424]

people have pointed this out before but I love how the death note jdrama highlights how needlessly cruel L is capable of being..... calling Light (and the other Kira suspects) early in the investigation to falsely accuse him of being Kira just to see how he'd react, taunting Light relentlessly while he was imprisoned and interrogated, and of course the mock execution. all while knowing no one can really stop him. the jdrama really said "btw don't forget this guy's an ASSHOLE"

#light had to solo that mock execution in the drama too no misa no kira just a boy staring down the barrel of a gun held by his father #drama light isn't exactly a saint but he certainly isn't as adept at handling such brutal psychological warfare like animanga light was lol #L is an asshole and we love him for it but he's still an asshole #death note #death note jdrama #death note drama #death note tv drama #l lawliet #light yagami #there were the little funny taunts like him going to the misa concert and hiring lookalikes to swarm the place #so misa couldn't figure out which one he was and discover his name #or that time during the yotsuba infiltration where he tricks light into running full force into a closed door #but by god when you think about it for too long some of the earlier stuff is brutal for someone they only knew to be a suspect at that poin #there is an element of horror in imagining the level of power L actually holds as the world's greatest detective #even in the animanga it's like..... if this is the shit he gets away with when there are cops present...... #I know that the kira case was unprecedented and it forced him to do things he normally wouldn't do (like going out in public for example) #but surely this can't be the first time he's staged a mock execution right...

[tediousdelusion]

the absolutely most chaotic modern steddy hands au i can imagine is established couple ed and izzy with recently out divorce attorney stede.

like, izzy and ed got married young. maybe because they were drunk in vegas. maybe for the spousal immunity since they are and always have been involved in some less than reputable dealings. but they aren't exactly a "real" married couple in their own minds even tho they live together and their lives are needlessly intermingled.

ed is going through his midlife crisis. he's unhappy, wants to find out that there's more to life. and izzy is done with his shit after the most recent flight of fancy. because i love irony, i think that he buys a boat and comes up with some flimsy justification for why he needs it for "business purposes."

and so izzy threatens divorce, like he has a million times. and ed doesn't buy it because izzy is all talk. but izzy is serious this time - or at least he wants ed to think he's serious - and so he goes and hires a lawyer. not some bus stop lawyer either, no. he wants the real deal and his name is on the joint account, dammit, so ed's money can pay for it too.

enter stede bonnet, divorce attorney at law.

stede is from one of those old legal families. his father was a lawyer and his grandfather was a lawyer and his great-grandfather was... well, you get it. and stede doesn't really want to be a lawyer, but he doesn't have much choice in the matter. his biggest rebellion is practicing family law instead of becoming in house counsel for an investment bank.

for forty-odd years he plays the part of the good son, well after his father is dead. marries the girl he is supposed to, has two kids, a nice house, a steady job. and sure, he's never really happy happy, but he's a divorce attorney! every day he sees marriages so much worse than his own that he figures what he and mary have must be the best a person could hope for.

until woops! actually, no! his marriage is just as bad as half his clients' and now he's going through this whole process himself and oh, yes, on top of it all, he just realized that he's gay!

so between chauffeuring the kids, reading about all the gay culture he's missed in the past four decades, and catching up on his other cases, he ends up meeting one izzy hands. sad case, stede hates to see the end of a long marriage, but it seems easy enough.

except things aren't easy at all because 1) izzy and ed don't actually want to get divorced and 2) stede is starting to fall for ed, izzy's enigmatic and charming husband.

ed is falling for stede, too. of course he is! stede is interesting and new - he comes from this old family tradition that ed's never seen before, but he's also creative and witty and fascinated by ed. and so ed takes it upon himself to help introduce stede to gay culture, preferably by a hands on demonstration.

izzy knows what's going on. of course he does. he's seen ed take interest in someone before, knows what it looks like. but what he doesn't like is that stede is starting to return his interest. stede is izzy's fucking lawyer. if anyone should get to fuck him, it should be izzy.

cue a series of rom-com style hijinks where ed and izzy are both trying to seduce stede, stede is trying to save izzy and ed's marriage, and all three of them think they know what the others want. for more angst and more comedy, you can throw in some actual ethical rules, like how lawyers aren't supposed to start fucking their clients. (there's also a lot of conflict of interest here but shhhhhhhh)

of course, this ends in a throuple. exactly how could go a few ways. maybe izzy walks in on ed and stede and stede is waiting to be fired, but izzy just loosens his tie and joins them in bed. maybe they make it all the way to the first court appearance and when the judge asks if they really want the divorce they're like, nah. he's shagging the lawyer but i guess i want to be fucking him too. maybe stede forces them all to go to lucius sponsored couples counseling and they get perma-banned when they start making out on the couch.

anyway, no matter how it happens, i think stede quits divorce work to become izzy and ed's criminal defense attorney and they all have a long and morally bankrupt good time together

#steddy hands #steddyhands #is it one word or two??? #izzy hands #i just think it would be funny your honor #ofmd #our flag means death #trying out just posting ideas that i wont actually execute #bonus points if izzy and stede actually meet before izzy hires him #like stede fucks up his car or smth and izzy meets him at the side of the road and is a real dick about it #and then shows up at the office like 45 min later to hire stede #the revenge crew all works for the firm in this #in varying roles #like i think that jim would be the pi #oluwande is the paralegal #roach runs the cafe in the building #frenchie would be better at the front desk but buttons would be so much funnier #ed this whole time is just making stede's job harder but more fun #stede: i am representing your husband in the divorce and i need to go over some papers with you #ed: okay i will meet with you but only at 8pm at a queer bar

[severefartoholic]

No no officer he wasn't resisting arrest he was just being a tsundere

#pafl #parties are for losers #yura pafl #i should have been his public defendant #lilya please hire me to defend your son im so reliable #and definitely dont have any horrible intentions like turning his community service hours into capital punishment #for all you dumbasses capital punishment is execution btw #haha ferry referwnce

[idkwhatimdoingbutslay]

ADAPTATIONS DO NOT HAVE TO BE BAD ADAPTATIONS DO NOT HAVE TO BE BAD ADAPTATIONS DO NOT HAVE TO BE BAD ADAPTATIONS DO NOT HAVE TO BE BAD ADAPTATIONS DO NOT HAVE TO BE-

ADAPTATIONS ARE NOT INHERENTLY BAD ADAPTATIONS ARE NOT INHERENTLY BAD ADAPTATIONS ARE NOT INHERENTLY BAD ADAPTATIONS ARE NOT INHERENTLY BAD ADAPTATIONS ARE NOT INHERENTLY BAD ADAPTATIONS ARE NOT INHERENTLY-

#i can’t help but get a little defensive at people who hate the entire idea of adaptions as someone who is sooo biased towards visual media #I recognize that but ALSO- #THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD ADAPTATIONS #the reason there’s an over abundance of bad ones is completely on purpose #who’s making these bad adaptations? MASSIVE CORPS #who don’t make adaptations out of love for a source material but obviously for money. they also don’t hire directors and writers who care #theyre also not given enough time or paid enough to have the chance to care. no executive is going into the adaptation with passion theyre #obviously going in with greed #adaptations and the idea of them is just so beautiful to me it’s like lowkey making fanfiction for your fav show 😭 #you can love and adore something on paper so much that you would love to be able to craft it with your own hands for others to see with #their own eyes #it’s just SO- I’m so passionate about this #friendly space ninja just posted a video about good adaptations that even exceeded the source material and it brought up this fire in me 🏃🏾 #some of my all time fav pieces of visual media are lovingly crafted adaptations #all movies can be bad but it’s especially painful when it was already something so well loved #adaptations without care RUIN the industry as well as any hope for people who genuinely want adaptations #adaptation #movie adaptation #show adaptation #arcane #to all the boys I’ve loved before #you Netflix #so many that I haven’t even touched yet UGH #I would love to make adaptations of my favourite books you don’t get it it would HEAL ME #slay on the run

[martyrbat]

im so considerate.... (<- guy not ranting about a thing it hates before its friend is done with the media)

#can officially say i finished the arkhamverse. didnt watch anything about that suicide squad one but i read all comics #a d watched the complete story & side mission gameplay for origins asylum city and midway through my refresher for knight #the biggest takeaway i have is wow these people are weird about convicts and addicts and love their toxic masculinity #but the gameplay and nostalgia impacts peoples opinions on it. maybe an enjoyable experience but for the story or universe itself #its a complete failure in every regard i can think of—only having glimpses moments of quality that makes the rest of it #be frustrating because the potential can be there. theres interesting premises occasionally but the execution and payoff doesn't make it #even worthwhile to get to those premises because of what you must wade through to reach them #<- thats me being my nicest and most spoiler freeabout it btw. #my other big takeaway is that tim is canonically older than jason and i think a grown ass man saying fuck that kid is really funny #[SPOILERS LOOK AWAY CJ] #<- tim currently works as a highschool science teacher while jason was shown to be adopted and made robin at 15 #where he was then promptly captured and kidnapped by joker. he escaped half? a year later during asylum and AK takes place 2 years afterward #i think. the entire timeline for this shitty universe is awful and confusing. dick was robin for like 2 years its ridiculous. #and i think primarily so they can go noooo see bruce is a hot late 30 year old instead because you become dust at any older!! #but. back to the age thing. hes about 17 maybe early 18 during AK but because tim is a private school teacher he needs a bachelor's degree #and most people get it at 22/23ish and then theres the actual teacher application and being hired (or not because hes a nepo baby) #so hes early mid twenties or so. compared to a (presumably dead) teenager who he called a loser more or less.

[daz4i]

why does mori keep making teenagers in charge of things

#like dazai as the youngest executive #kouyou was in charge of taking chuuya under her wing at the age of 19????? #mori my guy please. hire some adults. who aren't hirotsu

[rad-roche]

chit-chattin about voiced protagonist and pre-war stuff

i'm not big on the whole voiced fallout protagonist thing, don't get me wrong, it was an attempt to ape mass effect and that format had its problems anyway, but i think the actors are charismatic enough that i don't hate it on principle. the biggest problem arises in the 'four buttons for all options' speech system. to account for your psuedo-shep, npc and companion dialogue has to be scaled way, way back and be more expository and functional. there are a reason companions are far and away the most popular aspect of the game, and i'm saying that as somebody big in on a particular one because they conjured an interesting guy by what may be total accident. they get to be characters and have a distinct voice. everybody else either has to tell you, upfront, what their deal is or hide it behind a speech check so obvious that you can infer it yourself. the game isn't devoid of them, cricket for example, but there aren't too many

but i think the biggest missed opportunity, more than the valentine kellogg brain thing, is that the game picks up a person mired in a regressive, stagnant system, somebody who would know it intimately (lawyer) or enforce it through violence (soldier), dumps them in a future where these fixed points of their reality no longer exist, everybody dead, and forgets that this may in fact be an interesting vein to dig out. you're a soldier and the war you fought in killed BILLIONS of people and warped the face of the earth forever and, unlike the ghouls, it's totally fresh for you! and it sort of doesn't come up? you get a couple of offhand reactions but that's about it. your character isn't a fish out of water, they're somebody who got off at the wrong bus stop and has to stop a passing stranger for directions. oh wow, only center for learning left in the city is a ten foot cube in the baseball stadium teaching basic literacy, huh? I saw MIT at its peak two days ago! bye! you could blindfold anybody, tape them to a chair, spin them at centrifuge speed and make them throw darts with their mouth and i bet you nine out of ten times they'd hit something fascinating with that basic premise. let's try it with this guy. let's see here. 'find missing baby'. oh god oh shit it's john bethesda oh f

#fallout #fallout 4 #fo4 #i think part of why i'm so compelled by fo4 specifically over a game that's better in its execution #is that some of the things it presents are really interesting #but then you open the box and go oh... i wish somebody else wrapped this #fascinating to me. you know when you salt a fish and its nerves fire and you see what does what and moves whatever #that's what poking at that game does for me. endlessly fun. affectionate as well if you can believe it #far harbor fixed almost all of this. yet again i must go to bat for far harbor #she truly has it all #bethesda if you hire me for fallout 5 the protagonist will be pre-war but one dialogue option will always be 'screaming and puking' #sometimes 'puking and screaming'. i have the range. it will be a hard 3/10 and everyone else will hate it

[bloodpen-to-paper]

I'm calling it; Super Mario Bros movie sequel has Wario and Waluigi as the antagonists, something about their relationship will highlight an issue Mario and Luigi have with theirs causing a wedge between the latter two. The whole movie is about this issue (something to do with Luigi being in Mario's shadow and needing to find independence and learning to be braver or something). Daisy comes in and she helps Luigi with his journey to find his sense of self confidence separate from Mario (Daisy is very assertive and bold, this will foil with Luigi's cowardly and fearful nature in a way that gets him character development). He falls in love with her bold and brash nature, though this needs time to develop so nothing will come of Luigi's feelings yet and it'll just be him simping, however because of the setup in the first movie the romance that will happen will be with Mario and Peach. Peach gets a backstory and an identity crisis when she learns where she's from (people have been speculating she's from space or something), and Mario helps her get through that by reminding her about all the wonderful things she has done and how she's a girboss and these things are being said in a way that very much suggests that Mario catches feelings for her and it'll happen at least 3 times where he says shit like this and they both blush and look away before the end of the movie. On Mario's end, Peach helps him realize that Luigi needs to learn to take care of himself and that Mario needs to learn to live his life not being Luigi's protector 24/7, which he will do by prioritizing a romance with Peach and there's gonna be some really cheesy line about it somehow that reveals his feelings to her that you'll see coming from a mile away because its fucking Illumination they literally invented the word predictable oh my fucking god.

Also Yoshi.

#illumination hire me so i can fix your shitty studio #first thing im doing is purging any and all evidence regarding the existence of the minions #there will be one final minions movie where the minions are tried for violating the Geneva Convention and get shipped to guantanamo #where they are given a public execution by way of an Aztec ritual sacrifice #where was i going with this #right illumination is predictable #but if they make bowuigi canon then all is forgiven #illumination #super mario bros #super mario bros movie #mario #mario movie #luigi #princess peach #daisy #honestly i would actually froth at the mouth of we got rosalina #i want her so bad #in both senses of the phrase #rosalina my beloved #illumination would never be so based yet i yearn no less

[frasier-crane-style]

One fun part of the modern world is that women with two years of college will look at J.R.R. Tolkien, who created multiple timeless classics through his extensive knowledge of myth, linguistics, history, and his own wartime trauma, and then declare “well, HE didn’t know about they/them pronouns, so it’s gonna be easy for me to do him one better!”

and then they write the worst fucking YA novel known to man.

#replace with #and then they get hired to film an lotr adaptation #if they're related to a studio executive #lord of the rings #jrr tolkien

[ssaalexblake]

honestly ppl being surprised that people outright and proudly proclaiming the a hiring of a female doctor is a disgrace Might Have An Agenda for widely spreading that her episodes are bad (from like. before they started even airing. let that be clear.) is like your parents watching fox news and them being shocked that the people running it stoking hatred towards certain groups might have An Agenda for doing so when you tell them about it.

This is like. Honestly funny up to a point. Gee Golly, the people open about their vicious hatred of women aren’t to be trusted as a quality guide or as a place of unbiased opinion on something to do with a woman??? I am Shocked. 

They poisoned the well. 

#dw shit #i teeter between intense judgement and just laughing at people tbh #the fact that the anti woman bs was tolerated as a valid opinion from the get go is where it went downhill fast #it was not and never will be a valid opinion #it's an acting job to play a species that can canonically change body in any configuration #also colin baker is a king among men and he's the only person i respect anymore. #i have never seen one of his episodes in my life but hell if i give a damn #love that guy #would like to shake his hand (except not for plague reasons) #the only correct response to all this was his shut the fuck up and get over it (paraphrased) #to all the whiny baby misogynists #you don't Cater to people like those #you tell them to get over themselves #tho i do also respect that chibbs just went and hired another woman to Also be doctor like i laughed over that for weeks #Also the correct response to crying man babies #oh you hate it??? have more! #i'll shut up eventually but today i am a dog with a bone #(mostly cuz my executive dysfunction is Bad rn and can't do anything better) #and also it's true

[abc-mulan]

Everyone clap I applied for a job

#staples is hiring again maybe this time I'll get it #personal #the executive function has returned from the war and I've been able to get a few things done

[lion-hearted-girl-]

I am so frustrated with my brain and my executive dysfunction. I have so many things that I need to be doing for uni and life, but my brain is digging it’s heels in and refusing to do any of it.

I also think it’s partially because I have to contact people and ask for things and I hate doing that because I feel like I’m being a burden or annoying so I put it off and put it off and unsurprisingly those things I had to contact people for are now A Problem for me and I still can’t make myself do it 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

#actually adhd #executive dysfunction #honestly contemplating hiring a personal assistant to do all the things my brain says ‘nope’ about #putting this here bc my bestie is busy and I don’t want to bother her rn

[axolotluv]

What's with art communities and forgetting people can just do things for fun and not be professional about it??

#ax speaks #advice is ALWAYS catered to “how to survive as a professional artist” #like yeah cool this is all great but I just wanted to know how to make my art cool not the rules I need to follow to get hired #good anatomy does not equal good art #good dialogue does not equal good art #encourage creativity divergence and experimentation #shade with black. make big thick messy lines. make your lighting completely nonsensical #make weird uncomfortable dialogue. narrate casually. space out your words strangely for effect. write in the second person #of course all of it can be executed badly that's why professionals tell you to stay away from it #but if you execute it in your own way and make it work you can really push the bounds of being an artist #the question should always be “goes it feel good” rather than “is it correct” when creating something #the next time someone asks you for drawing advice don't tell them to make the lines less shaky or to use more muted colors #tell them exactly what you would do to make their art look sick as hell #or if someone asks for writing advice don't tell them the structure of a story or what words to use #tell them exactly what your favorite parts are to focus on like dialogue or how you came up with the part you had the most fun writing

[trainingdummyrabbit]

WAIT STRUGGLEPOSTING CANCELLED FUCKING LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

'having trouble making a resume for getting hired w no experience fresh out of highed school ? Hire Someone To Do It For You. hope this helps :)'

#this is killing my entire soul but at least theres some shit thats kinda funny about it #piktalk #the 'hire someone. im an executive now :)' speaks VOLUMESSSSS...

[alittleorcish]

i have a job interview at 4pm so naturally i’ve been incapable of getting anything else done until that time 🙃

#meghann talks #executive dysfunction #adhd paralysis #its so annoyinghhhh #i can’t concentrate on anything #and when i try i immediately start stressing that i’m going to lose track of time #and be late for my interview!!! #haha hire me I’m Normal :^)