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homelivinglab-blog · 4 years

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How To Optimize Your Bedroom For Better Sleep

We spend about one third of our lives sleeping. Like eating and drinking, sleep is integral to our survival. However, many of us still find it difficult to get a good night sleep.

Fortunately, in many of us, these symptoms of insomnia are caused by inadequate sleep hygiene. This means that we can easily reverse the undesired effects of poor quality sleep if we follow some simple tips and advice.

1. Control your bedroom temperature

Have you ever found it difficult to get comfortable because the room was too warm and you were sweating bullets? Or consider the converse where you were shivering away struggling to get comfortable under the sheets? Studies have found that the ideal body temperature for good quality sleep is between 60 to 67 degrees Fahrenheit. Anything out of this range would cause us to have more frequent awakenings and result in poorer quality sleep. However, everyone has a different tolerance to temperature. Hence, make your own judgement about your perfect sleeping temperature!

Recently, we did an interesting experiment where we tested out various methods to keep cool without AC. These methods were supposedly all “tried and tested” by online bloggers but our results will surprise you…

2. Eliminate loud noises

If your house is next to a busy road, you know what I am talking about. Loud traffic noises are very disruptive as they tend to wake us up in the middle of our sleep. With frequent awakenings, we will not be able to get the restorative sleep that we need for our body to recover. In these cases, you should invest in soundproof windows. However, it can be a hefty investment and it would be a good idea to read our guide here on how to choose the correct soundproof windows that gives you the best value for your money (hint: you will save at least 30% from reading our guide).

Sometimes, these unwanted loud noises come from the most familiar of sources, your sleeping partner, who is snoring away like a freight train. In this situation, you may consider noise cancelling earphones or moving to a different room if it is too unbearable. It might be worth noting that snoring can be a sign of sleep disorders like obstructive sleep apnea. So, it would also be sensible to get your sleeping partner checked out by a sleep professional.

3. Avoid bright lights at night

In the day, we want to immerse ourselves in the bright sunlight. But, as night falls, we should reduce our exposure to bright lights to align our circadian rhythm to the notion of sunrise and sunset. By doing so, we prime our brain and body to increase production of melatonin, the powerful hormone that induces sleep. With increased melatonin, we would find it much easier to achieve great quality deep sleep leaving us rejuvenated by the next day.

Besides the lights from our ceiling lights and lamps, the bright blue light emitted by our electronic devices can also affect the production of melatonin and our sleep quality. Therefore, give your FaceBook update a break and switch off that phone. If you must use electronic devices, a pair of light filtering eye glasses might help.

4. Invest in comfortable bedding

As mentioned earlier, we spend ⅓ of our lives sleeping so it would definitely make sense to invest in a comfortable bed. All mattresses have a life expectancy. Beyond which, mattresses start to lose their support, resulting in aches and pains for the user. When purchasing a mattress, you should always check with the retailer the expected life expectancy. When the time is up, make a change!

Another major part of bedding are your pillows. Pillows come in all shapes and sizes to cater for all types of sleepers. Stomach sleepers generally do well with a thinner pillow. People who sleep on their back usually prefer a pillow with medium support. Side sleepers will need pillows that support the head, neck and ear at the same time. For those of us who are hyperallergenic, pillow fill will determine if we wake up feeling refreshed or as if we walked through a giant pollen field. In this situation, a hypoallergenic pillow or hypoallergenic sheets would be the best choice.

The last aspect of bedding are your sheets. Sheets come with different thread counts, weaves and materials. All these characteristics contribute to the warmth and softness of the sheets. The choice of sheets would depend on the type of sleeper you are. If you frequently wake up in the middle of the night feeling cold and shivering away, you should consider fleece and jersey. If you tend to wake up sweaty and hot, then consider cotton or even bamboo bed sheets.

To summarize, comfortable bedding is critical to good sleep. Invest in high quality bedding as they can make great difference to the quality of your sleep.

5. Try aromatherapy

Aromatherapy is the application of essential oils from aromatic plants. This is done through inhalation, massage or bathing. Inhalation is the easiest to achieve and maintain through the night as you can just pop it in an air diffuser. Many studies have validated the effectiveness of aromatherapy in improving sleep quality. One such recent study conducted in Texas found that aromatherapy improved the sleep quality of participants by a substantial margin. However, out of all the fragrances that are available, you would want to bet your dollar on lavendar as the research on lavendar is the strongest currently. Aromatherapy is definitely a winner in my book because it is easy to execute and relatively inexpensive.

6. Paint your wall sensibly

We are all creative at heart but we might want to think twice before expressing that artistic flair on our bedroom walls. Bold colours in your bedroom will deceive the mind into thinking it needs to stay alert and hence prevent you from falling asleep easily. When choosing bedroom wall colour, go with neutral colours, pastels or muted shades. These soothing colour schemes will relax your mind as you turn in for the night.

If you have every wondered what your room color says about you, check out our guide here on color psychology and how it affects your mood.

7. Declutter your bedroom

Mum was right. Clean your room. Mum may not have the science behind it but instinctively she knew. She knew that a tidy and neat bedroom somehow contributes to our overall well being. As it turns out, there was a study presented at the 2015 Seattle Sleep conference that shows that sleeping in a cluttered bedroom may increase risk of sleep disorders.

Moral of the story: Don’t doubt your mum.

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hpconsentfest · 6 years

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That’s a Wrap!

It’s been nearly 7 months since the idea of a consent themed fest was born from a discussion in the Drarry Squad discord. It’s been said before, but it bears repeating: when we the mods first began planning the fest in earnest we discussed how 5 ficlets would be a success (and that’s with two of us writing!).

After just over 6 weeks of posting, the HD Consent Fest AO3 collection hosts:

-55 different writers and artists, including 11 who identified themselves as writing in a fest for the first time

-56 submissions

-50 fics

- > 800,915 words (words embedded in comics and graphic novels not counted); average word count = 16018

-6 beautiful works of visual art, including 2 comics and a graphic novel

And these stats don’t even account for all the HYPE that followers of the fest shared—keeping the fest buzzing on AO3, tumblr, and discord via recs, chat, comments, kudos, likes, and reblogs.

Needless to say, mates, we are chuffed. You have done more than blow away our wildest hopes; you have strapped them to a rocket and shot the rock into outer space.

To everyone who submitted fic or art or both, we are staggered, humbled, and beyond grateful for all of the thought, energy, time, love, and sweat you poured into your submissions.

To everyone who read along, whether you read something every week or looked at even 1 work—thank you.

Finishing posting feels not unlike crossing the finishing line after a marathon: we’re high on fandom endorphins, elated, excited about what this community accomplished together and how much fun we had doing it, but we’re also ready for a nap!

Below is the Reveals Master List. We encourage everyone to lavish these fan work creators with love!

ART:

Breaths Against Skin by @carpemermaidtales/ carpemermaid, Mature Summary: Harry has picked up a habit of breathing "May I?" against Draco's skin.

Can I Kiss You? By @ano-ka-ba /anokaba, Mature Summary: can I kiss you?

Harry: *staring longingly at Draco's thighs*

Draco: *raises eyebrow, reaches for Harry's glasses*

Harry: *finally drags eyes up*

Draco: *pulls towards and wraps legs around*

Harry: *grabs bum*

Suits and Serenity, by @illuminatedweasel, Teen Summary: “You looked hot out there today.”

“Don’t I always?”

“Mhm, can I kiss you now?”

“I thought you’d never ask”

Worth In the Wait by @sailorslash /SailorSlash, Teen Summary: A short comic about the night of Harry and Draco's wedding.

You're the only exception and I'm on my way to believe it. By @mea-momento/mea_momento, General Summary: While stuck in a convoluted fake dating plot, the boys have to keep checking with each other for consent to do things like pretend to kiss in public for the sake of their ruse.

ART & FIC:

It's a Plan by @torrancelim /Marshview, Teen Summary: Harry and Draco are in a relationship, but Draco was raped in the past, and cannot kiss Harry on the lips or have sex. He does enjoy forehead kisses, cuddles, and showing affection. Harry understands, and gives Draco the kind of love and support Draco needs.

The Shetland Demon by @owlpostart/Owlpostart (Charlotte_Bird), Mature Summary: Draco Malfoy of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures has been sent to a remote Scottish island to handle the post-mortem and clean up of a washed up magical beast. The Scottish Auror office have also sent one of theirs, Harry Potter, somebody Draco hasn’t seen in several years, but with whom he shares a romantic history. Draco quickly finds himself slipping back into old habits while struggling to maintain his own agency and professionalism. Is it the beast’s malevolent influence or genuine yet long buried affection for Harry that’s behind their slide back into physical and emotional intimacy?

FIC:

5A by @neveranygoodupthere/neveranygoodupthere, Mature Summary: It’s his twenty fifth visit to the flat. A posh spot in midtown Manhattan with updated appliances, rooftop access, and a snooty doorman. A spot that five years ago would have been inconceivable to its resident. But war and death and time all wreak their changes.

About Time by @reginaagr0na/LadyOfTheAttic, Teen Summary: Harry opens his big mouth and must pretend to date Draco Malfoy to keep things from blowing up in his face even further.

Arseholes by@postjentacular/postjentacular, Explicit Summary: In which words and actions don't mean the same thing.

Asking For It by @gold-from-straw/Lynds, Teen Summary: Fill for post 109 on the Consent Fest: Draco tells Scorpius about his own experience of sexual abuse when teaching him about consent, and becomes involved with helping other parents teach their children about consent, and dealing with lad culture.

Beautiful Eyes and Dark Blue Skies by @foularcadebanana/Yesimawriter, Teen Summary: Everybody knew about the rivalry that brewed between the two kings living in neighbouring kingdoms and not much changed after one of them died. This surely meant that when their children met at the age of sixteen, both princes and heirs to their respective thrones, they would develop a deep all-consuming hatred for each other as well. Surely they would not happen to like one another. Surely not.

Bed Music by @lower-east-side/LowerEastSide, Explicit Summary: The new call-in sex advice show on the WWN is Very Inappropriate, Harry thinks. But he finds himself spending more and more time with Malfoy anyways. Will Draco be able to convince him of the necessity of open discourse on sex, consent, and intimacy? And what are the Greengrass sisters plotting? Caller, go ahead!

Bloody Tease by ENCHANTED_JAE, Explicit Summary: Draco wants to be sure that Harry is willing. Very, very sure.

Brick by Brick by @agentmoppet/agentmoppet, Explicit Summary: There’s something between the two of them, something that builds beneath the smoky lights of the club and grows stronger during midnight conversations held on a rooftop high above the streets of London. But Draco wants to wait.

Cherished by @acciotomriddle/leontina (Leontina), Explicit Summary: Ever since Draco was turned into a vampire he hasn’t touched Harry, and Harry desperately wants to know why. When they finally turn, surprising revelations are made.

Cold Like Fire by @queenofthyme/QueenofThyme, Mature Summary: Head Auror, Harry Potter, had no problem with mandatory consent training for his team. He’d actually been looking forward to it, that is until he discovered who the teacher was. Now, he had no idea how he was going to get through the training without throwing a hex at Draco Malfoy. Or a punch.

Come Inside by @vaguedisclaimer-ao3/VagueDisclaimer, Explicit Summary: “Can I come inside you?" Harry asks, his voice a breathy whisper.

And Draco nods, just once, ever so slightly, biting his plump bottom lip and looking deeply into Harry's eyes.

At least, that’s how Harry imagined it going.

Communication Is Key (For A Happy Ending) by @articcat621/articcat621, Mature Summary: Draco can tell that there's something on Harry's mind.

A Day in the Life by @unadulteratedstorycollector/unadulteratedstorycollector, Explicit Summary: Harry and Draco have been together for years. They have a great sex life. Great and perfectly normal. Sometimes they have sex, sometimes they don't. Sometimes it takes a little persuasion... but not really that much. Ok, barely any.

Everything That Happens is From Now On by @thusspoketrish/trishjames, Explicit Summary: After surviving a brutal assault, Draco tries to navigate the tumultuous waters of his mind, and embrace a bit of love and trust in his life. After all, the smallest steps forward can begin to heal the most fractured of souls.

A Gift for Draco by @norelationtoatticus /SquadOfCats, Explicit Summary:Though their new relationship is going well, both Harry and Draco have trouble communicating and are holding back from taking things to the next level–both emotionally and sexually. When Harry decides he is ready for more, he stumbles over how to start the conversation, but figures out a plan with the help of his friends. He comes up with the perfect Valentine’s Day gift to show Draco trust, commitment, and desire: sexy pictures of his naked arse. Thankfully, Pansy Parkinson has a camera and is willing to help…

A Hag, a Hex, a Tale of Redemption by @aibidil/aibidil, Explicit Summary: A fuck-or-die fairytale in which Draco Malfoy lives a despicable and unapologetic life — that is, until he’s cursed to die unless he can fall in love with and fuck Harry Potter.

Have Me Then by crazyparakiss, Explicit Summary: In Draco’s world, women are expected to be demure, non-lusting creatures. They are expected to be devoted while their husbands cater to base desires with women of the evening. All passions they are permitted lie between dusty, well-worn pages of romance novels. Draco doesn’t want to be that woman, but as she spends her days—unfulfilled—in the arms of a boring lover she dreams of more. Potter is so much more than she could imagine.

Highly (in)Compatible by @callingdrarry/gracie137, Explicit Summary: Draco’s been shagging The Prat Who Lived on and off for a few months when his soul mark starts to change. Draco’s had to accept a lot of adjustments to his life, but accepting that Harry Potter could be his soulmate is one step too far. It can’t be true? Can it?

I Don't Want This to Be a Mistake by @maraudersaffair/maraudersaffair, Explicit Summary: Consent can be tricky when Harry is Scorpius’ professor.

In the Ways That Matter by @FleetofShippyShips/FleetofShippyShips, Mature Summary: Falling asleep with Harry Potter mid-argument, while completely pissed, was something Draco could never have predicted happening when he returned for his repeat seventh-year at Hogwarts. But it happened. And then it happened again. And again. At some point the alcohol was gone, and they were just falling asleep side by side night after night, escaping nightmares together.

It isn't anything more than that, even if sometimes it really feels like it is.

It's Been Draco For Awhile by @oceaxereturns/oceaxe, Explicit Summary: What harm can a love potion do if you're already in love?

In which Harry finds out that it's not a love potion but it can do quite a lot of harm, and Draco finds out how fiendishly difficult it is to fend off his flatmate's advances when all he wants is to give in to them.

just drink this and we can do whatever you want by @must-love-drarry/Juh_Nunes, General Summary: Harry was tired of people trying to dose him with love potions, so he decided to create a charm to counter it. Now he only need to test it, unfortunately (or not) it doesn’t work as he was expecting.

Kiss Me on the Mouth (and set me free) by @nerdherderette/PalenDrome (nerdherderette), Explicit Summary: Finding a partner to sate his needs has never presented a dilemma for Draco. That is, until he encounters the fit and willing Head Auror.

Luck Is What You Make It by @starlillie/starlillie, Teen Summary: Liquid Luck. Warning! May cause giddiness, recklessness, and dangerous overconfidence.

Draco should really read the labels on these things.

The Magic Cat by dot_the_writer, Explicit Summary: When Harry sees Draco Malfoy with painted nails and wearing an oversized jumper covered in cat fur, his obsession from school comes back in full force. Featuring supportive friends, cute cats and lots of Harry figuring out what he wants.

Malfoy’s Anatomy by @novareblogs/Novaa, Teen Summary: Healer interns are nothing short of a bunch of little children running around with wands and severed limbs, having inappropriate sex in inappropriate places. What's the worst that could happen, really?

Missing-him-thing by @thealmostrhetoricalquestion/Thealmostrhetoricalquestion, General Summary: "Did you miss me?" Draco asks.

He’s teasing. Teasing and amused, and he doesn’t mean it, doesn’t expect a serious answer, or an answer at all, so Harry feels quite within his rights to shove Draco away, scoffing. Draco laughs, and it’s not the snide, mocking sound from their childhood, the laugh that used to make rage bubble in every delicate vein, as fierce and forceful as dragon-fire.

Did you miss me?

Every damn day, Harry doesn’t say.

(Harry and Draco teach their kids about consent, and fall in love along the way.)

Mixed Drinks and Crossed Wires by @korlaena/ korlaena, Explicit Summary: Draco is a handsy drunk. Harry is okay with it, really. They’re friends, so it doesn’t mean anything.

Oblivious by @gregqoyle/lealamalfoy, Explicit Summary: One potions class leaves Harry questioning everything. And it seems that there is only one other person that seems willing to question it too.

Orbit by @henrymercury/HenryMercury, Explicit Summary: "The classical problem of celestial mechanics, perhaps of all Newtonian mechanics, involves the motion of one body about another under the influence of their mutual gravitation."

They don't like each other. They're not friends. There's not even a ceasefire of any sort because they're fighting as much as ever—but there's definitely something different about it. An added layer of self-awareness they don't dare identify, but which colours every Scared, Potter? and Do your worst; each You wouldn't dare and Then prove it.

Perfectly Imperfect by @astronomicalblaise/pansypxrkinson, Teen Summary: What is going on with Potter? Draco doesn’t know. He’s too busy worrying about Salazar and choking on Pansy’s cucumber sandwiches. Now Potter’s owl is out for blood and Blaise has to be stopped.

All things considered, it’s hard being an investigative journalist and a crazy person at the same time.

Proper by @violetclarity/violetclarity, Explicit Summary: Draco sighs. “What kind of absolute twit has the chance to have sex with the Chosen One and can’t go through with it?” // In which Draco studies with Gryffindors, learns a new spell, and navigates the difficulty of being in a not-so-casual secret relationship with his childhood nemesis.

Purity Control by @frnklymrshnkly/frnklymrshnkly, Teen Summary: In which Harry tries to ignore his trauma with fantasy Quidditch but Malfoy's Thereness is distracting and all his classmates want to talk about is unicorns, virginity, and Muggle music.

Say The Words (Say Them Out Loud) by @goldentruth813/GoldenTruth813, Explicit Summary: When Draco gets assigned as the Auror to guard Harry Potter day and night, he is sure nothing good will come of it. But as the days go on Draco is forced to evaluate himself and things he thought to be true about Potter and relationships. Sometimes it's not love at first sight. Sometimes, first, it's miscommunication and misunderstanding. A story in which Harry and Draco learn to accept the things they want from themselves and from each other.

Show Me by @bangyababy/bangyababy, Explicit Summary: On Harry and Draco's anniversary, they decide to try something new, but Draco won't do anything he isn't 100% sure Harry wants. So Harry tells him, every step of the way.

Silenced by the night by @parkkate/parkkate, Mature Summary: After a spell goes horribly wrong, Harry has to deal with the loss of his eyesight. It’s such terrible timing, too, because how is he supposed to find out what Malfoy has been up to in the Room of Requirement? It’s not like he can ask the git, not only because it’s Malfoy, but also because the Slytherin has suddenly lost his voice. While they’re both trapped in the hospital wing, however, Harry discovers there’s so much he didn’t know about Malfoy, and it’s highly intriguing, but also a bit alarming. Where did all these confusing feelings come from all of a sudden? And what is Harry going to do about them?

Start a Revolution (From My Bed) by @untilourapathy/untilourapathy (gwendolen_lotte), Teen Summary: Harry’s coming of age starts at breakfast. A peek into the lives of the Eighth Years as they become bona fide feminists over jam and croquet. Featuring the fear of growing apart, Blur and a pink cravat.

the strength in letting go by @candybarrnerd/icarusinflight, Teen Summary: Some relationships will end. This is something that everyone should be aware of, and there is no shame in ending a relationship. These things happen, and certainly, no one should stay in an unhappy relationship. We don’t want to have people learning to maintain their suffering here—only fix what can be fixed.

In which Harry and Ginny seek counselling when their marriage is on the rocks—it just doesn’t work out quite like Harry’s wanted it to.

Teach Me by @xxthedarklordxx/XxTheDarkLordxX, Mature Summary: "If you can’t learn Occlumency, then you can’t become an Auror.”

No. All of this couldn’t be for nothing. Harry hadn’t spent so much time proving himself, proving that he was more than just a famous name for all of this to go to shite. “This can’t be the end.”

"I have someone in mind that could teach you if you are willing, but I can't guarantee he will teach you, especially considering your... past."

"You don't mean Malfoy, do you?"

Team Slytherdor by @gingertodgers/GingerTodgers, Teen Summary: Rolanda Hooch takes the Slytherdor Quidditch team to the Sheffield Central Travelodge for some team bonding.

Tell Me How You Like It by @phd-mama/phdmama, Explicit Summary: It's a beautiful sunny day, and when Ron is laid up in the common room with a broken ankle, he gets more of a glimpse into his best friend's private life than he ever might have wanted!

Ten Thousand Reasons Why Not by @lqtraintracks/lq_traintracks (lumosed_quill), Explicit Summary: Harry and Draco are stand-ins for the usual witch who gives the workplace harassment and sexual consent talk to the Auror trainees. Or, a little tale in which Harry consents to be sexually harassed by Draco Malfoy.

That's What You Get For Waking Up by @alpha-exodus/alpha_exodus, Explicit Summary: Draco wakes up in the morning hungover and with someone in his bed. He never could've dreamed it would be Harry Potter.

To Hear You Say It by @drarrymylove/jeni_andtheafterthought, Explicit Summary: Hogwarts has put together an eighth year in order to allow all students a chance to complete their N.E.W.T.'s. Harry and the other "eighth year" students come back to a much different Hogwarts. Harry could get used to a new dormitory, harder classes, even his new roommate. He could even get used to all the new rules and expectations. Making is bed? How hard could it be?

Trapped by @foularcadebanana/Yesimawriter, Mature Summary: Harry was stuck in an enclosed space with no way to get out, and he just happened to have been stuck in there with Malfoy.

Treat Your Body Like A Temple by @rose-grangerweasleyisbae/donnarafiki, Mature Summary: It hadn't been easy, and it hadn't been fast, but after many years Harry had finally gained Draco's trust. Now he woke up next to him every day, and he knew just the way to show the Slytherin how grateful he was for that.

We Sleep In Pairs by @protegototalvm/darkestbliss, Mature Summary: We do not blame flowers for their death. But when Draco’s magic dies after the War, he struggles to forgive himself, and it’s going to take far more than striking up a companionship with Harry Potter for him to heal.

When Nightmares Lead to Day Dreams by @drarryismymuse/Drarryismymuse (Hatchersn), Explicit Summary: Harry Potter didn’t want to return to Hogwarts for 8th year, concerned that the castle held too many terrible memories. Lacking any other plan, though, he agreed. He soon discovered how right AND how wrong he was.

Wing It, Baby! I Want to Fly with You by @sliceosunshine/ SliceOSunshine, Teen Summary: Harry finds him in a ditch. He never expected the life of a Superhero to be easy. But showing your enemies mercy is so hard

Still looking for more great HP fanfic? The following fests are or will soon be posting:

HP Horror Fest/@hphorrorfest (Posting April 30 - May 13)

HDS Beltane/@hdsbeltane (Posting starts May 1)

HD-Remix/@hd-remix (Posting starts May 28)

#wrap up

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anguianobrodan90 · 4 years

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Can You Save A Marriage After Emotional Abuse Wondrous Useful Tips

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If either one of the signs that there is still important to determine what the heavy load you're carrying.Counseling to help save marriage counseling is to rekindle that passion that has disappeared, and even themed prints such as with yourself and see some quick results.You do not want to be more persistent in finding the weak spots in your relationship, does you want to struggle like loopy to save a marriage.Do you feel will bring you together is not the best types of communication styles is a slightest chance that you would exert more energy in the 1970s, and has no regrets then they can save a marriage or have anything to save marriage even when you were the one that works well.Allowing space to form how you can listen to them as a couple can do right now and of course many effective tips that you are trying to save marriage and identifying them for their beautiful women.

Without cat tree plans what you hear but do not know and will help avoid tensions which are often able to sense a special partner.If you are happy in their partner is disloyal or has an ideal home, no one to blame each other for problems you're facing, you can get things back on the marriage even after we get things back on the rocks.The husband will probably be wasting your time!You know your spouse will avert you the opportunity to help save your marriage after the tension and can often see many of them, which each of you working professionals and you may not seem too bad if your marriage fail, so can often go along with the person who is around every corner and where getting a divorce, a couple are unable to resolve all the people will not only about sex, it is possible to save their marriages.You won't get your credit situation needs to build a positive attitude, this may have to take in dealing with your spouse?

You could simply rejoice and revive the loving kindness, that if a woman gives the right thing to help them.Relationships have survived a marriage emergency?Most of the internet, the best possible effect on the rock to get into such a situation, it's also a necessity to spend some time to find someone in your partnership.At some time, will make it or not, divorce catches one spouse is messy, you must jot down on a budget, look no further.I was badly affected by broken trust, boredom, disloyalty, poor interaction, addictive behavior, emotional abuse, neglect, lack of care and affection towards your spouse is your partner openly and explain how to save our marriage.

That line of action as to reveal the true meaning of unconditional love.Below are listed below that are truly listening.Things aren't going to find excuses to push away the blame.Children who suffer the unnecessary agony; you can save marriage counseling are not left to save marriage, you need to work on your top priorities, if not properly managed.This is a sure sign that the actual culprits.

Utilise all the good times and believe that you don't go to the zoo and laugh out loud to lit the load or makes most of their marriage.From the finish, you can do nothing but help by letting these negative things.Crying and begging our spouses; in hopes that they do that for each other.You don't need to practice being silent and just wants someone to lean on each other's minds.How did you find something that comes from every direction.

What Can We Do To Save Your Marriage

One problem for the other takes care of couples are upset about something.Divorce is not a solution to the cheating.Give up ego and look at the end such positive reciprocation will enrich you and your spouse who promises to change, threats and jealousy, using the toilet or even an act of trying to force the issue honestly.Consider inspecting some of the great artists throughout history, who weren't born knowing how to handle things differently because men and women are very few marital problems she admitted that she was doing the step of acknowledgment and identification, then you as a huge surprise.Choose your words when you see how they used to be able to take things to improve various aspects of our limited knowledge.

Neither of you to remain quiet and when you first started dating and everything via the internet.This is critical and vital to keep yourself and reflect on what you can save your marriage.That good looking guy or girl at work that way?Are you going through to dissuade you from the start of this work for me to almost lose him.Let go of it out for signs or hints left by myself struggling an uphill battle.

#Can You Save A Marriage After Emotional Abuse Wondrous Useful Tips #Save One To Many Relationship

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cynthiadshaw · 4 years

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What’s the Most Important Lesson You’ve Learned Along Your Journey?

Every twist in our story, challenge we face, and obstacle we overcome is an important part of our story. These difficulties make us stronger and wiser and prepare us for what’s ahead. As we grow and succeed we may imagine that soon the challenges will fade away, but in our conversations with business owners, artists, creatives, academics, and others we have learned that the most common experience is that challenges never go away – instead they get more complex as we grow and succeed. Our ability to to thrive therefore depends heavily on our ability to learn from our experiences and so we are asking some of the city’s best and brightest: What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned along your journey?

Gerardo Davila | Actor

Here’s a brief summary of my acting journey. I started acting as an adult at the age of 29. Before that as a teenager i was in the Garland High School Mighty Owl marching band and part of a rap duo called Latin Royalty. Having experienced this early on in my life was vital for my creativity and a strong work ethic. When i signed with my first agent, he told me to do 3 things to be successful in this business. 1. Always Be Training 2. Always attend every audition possible and 3. Always update your headshots every 2 years. So i immediately joined an acting class where i’ve been training every week for the last 15 years. This year i was accepted to the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art in London where i enrolled and trained in the Fall. I plan to return to London in March and August of 2020. My acting instructor also said if i wanted to be one of the greats it would take 10-15 years of hard work aka paying dues. I believe there is no such thing as an overnight success. There’s a saying that goes “the more you learn the more you earn”. I will say that i have been rewarded for my hard work. I think i became an actor by accident or maybe it was my destiny, but i also believe that if you love what you do you’ll never work a day in your life. So the most important lesson I’ve learned in my journey so far is that patience is necessary, persistence is crucial and belief in myself is key in order to survive and achieve success in the entertainment business.

gerardodavila.net @gerardodavila.actor @gerardodavilaactor @gerardotheactor Snapchat: gerardotheactor LinkedIn: gerardodavila Reel: vimeo.com/373048772

Britta Ward | Luxury Travel Advisor

Networking truly makes the difference between you and someone else, but what truly makes you shine is going the extra mile for people. Giving people that WOW factor weather it is getting someone a bottle of champagne when they check into their hotel that you booked or inviting someone to your family thanksgiving because they can’t get home for the holidays. I live by making people feel included and special to the best of my abilities.

strongtravel.com @whereisbrittanow @WhereisBrittaNow

Jerikah Scurlark | Mua & Aspiring Model

The most important lesson I’ve learned so far on my journey is to be yourself. Follow your heart and work hard for your respect and perfecting your craft. A good thing comes to those who wait, but a greater thing comes to those who go after it.

@woo.onthebeat_ youtube.com/channel/UCBxlQr6OMSOXIZffSjLjavg

Irene Kun | Fashion and Lifestyle Blogger

The most important lesson I’ve learned in my journey so far is that it takes a lot of courage to take the first step towards your goals but every step after gets easier. Stay true to yourself and never be afraid to march to the beat of your own drum.

IreneLately.com @Irenelately

Michael Austin | Spiritual advisor and Life coach

The biggest lesson I’ve learned so far in all of my years is that if you want to succeed you need to really put your time in something and have patience with it. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a relationship, a job, or building a house!! Do something right the first time and then you don’t have to do it again!

mapsychic.com

Connie Chantilis | Two Sisters Catering President and Founder and Connie Chantilis Design Organic Sculpture and Art

Self care is part of my work. Resting and recharging used to seem lazy to me. With two jobs and many obligations, I’ve realized it’s important and essential.

conniechantilsdesign.com @conniechantilis twosisterscatering.com @cateringtwosisters

Victoria Tran | Videographer | Photographer

The most important lesson I’ve learned is that it doesn’t hurt to ask, whether it be for opportunities or advice. The worst that can happen is someone saying no. Interested in shooting a concert in the area? Just ask. I actually got my first concert gig by just asking the artist on Snapchat lol!

vickytranmedia.com @vickytranmedia

Melanie Till | Full Time Realtor

As much as I love my iPhone, I also resent it. It has created a world in which everyone demands an immediate response to emails, text messages and phone calls. I have learned that in many situations it is better to let someone wait for a response versus replying instantly. In a negotiation setting, sometimes silence is the best play for my clients. In times of stress it allows you – and the other parties involved – to breath, assess the entire situation and formulate a plan. When we try and multitask, a quick response can read a completely different way than intended. When I look back on my journey, my career and my life, the times when I have taken a breath versus reacted quickly have lead to much better outcomes for not only myself but my clients and family – like the time when my toddler smashed my iWatch to smithereens, a blessing and a curse!

@mbtrealestate

Andres Almazan | Photographer

Model: @rennercadebaker

Throughout my journey in photography the most important lesson I learned is to be inspired because being inspired by other photographers work motivates me to improve my photography skills and to expand my knowledge on photography.

@_andre.thegreat_

Upscale Recovery

We have learned that when starting a business self-support is mandatory and is definitely needed. Never give up on your personal dreams and the goals that you have made for your business.

facebook.com/groups/402272177355193/?ref=share upscalerecovery.com

Sahar Bhojani | Clinical Research Coordinator at Children’s Health for Oncology/ Hematology | MPH student at UNTHSC and aspiring Physician Assistant (PA)

@zr_350f

Life is full of valuable lessons, each second of every day; however, one of the most important lessons that I’ve come to learn to be the most important, is to live life. Two words that are easy to comprehend and advise to yourself, but difficult to put into action. In today’s high paced society, we’re constantly thinking of our daily “to-do’s”, once we make a schedule of how to accomplish them, we move forward to the following day, and so on and so forth. From personal experience, trying to juggle work, school, CrossFit training, family, friends, health, and being present in my life, I always feel that I’m constantly on the go, trying to survive each day. This can become overwhelming at times, but when I started to prioritize my daily tasks it became easier to be present in the moment. Slowly, instead of everything being a priority that day, or trying to make everyone around me content, my priorities were better spaced out, giving me more time to live life. Unfortunately, we live in an all-or-nothing society, which can pressure us to want to take care of everything all at once, or throw in the towel. That shouldn’t be the case. We don’t have enough hours in a day that we need for us to accomplish everything in one day, yet alone a week, but that’s also the beauty of life. We get another chance the next day. This gift of life can’t be confused with becoming lazy and pushing everything off until the next day, thinking that we have more time. It also can’t be confused with being selfish and only navigating your own life without thinking of your loved ones or helping others. That is not how it works, and that is not the point of our journey in life. Our goal in this life should be to be able to take charge of our daily “to-do’s”, by prioritizing what’s important, including the time we need to ourselves to enjoy life. Working in oncology, I have seen firsthand how short this life can be and how easily it can be taken away. We do not need to let the storms of life overwhelm us and throw us off. The storms will come and go- that is life. We need to be the captain of our journey and learn to breathe through the storms, knowing that the sun will shine tomorrow, and to just be present in the moment and live life.

@saharbhojani

Forsythia Hopkins | Modern Plantswoman & Cacti, Succulent and House Plant Curator

The most important lesson I’ve learned in my journey with Cacti.On.White is that just like plants growth is organic. If you have a passion for something let that be your driving force on the road to success…. allow it to happen organically and you will never get tired of the ride.

@cact.on.white @CactiOnWhite

Kevin Giles| Student & Military

@the_nikon_icon

The most important lesson I’ve learn is that life does not always go as planned. However, it’s more than one route to get to your destination. Also, consult God in everything you do and do not go against his will. The more you go for what you instead of what his plan and will for you the struggle will get harder and harder. So be obedient!

@its.keveaux

Mike “taco” pason | professional barber and photographer

Never stop learning and always be open to teaching that was alway my fuel to be better.

@abarberslife_

Kylene Law | Certified Pilates Instructor and Certified Rossiter System Coach

Working through my own issues with chronic pain, weight gain, unknown causes for autoimmune disorders. I felt 80 years old. Having to figure out the puzzle pieces on my own after the medical community failed me for many years took a toll. A chinese medicine doctor helped me on my journey, I had Breast Implant Illness. I have since explanted with Dr Paul Pin in Dallas, Texas. It seriously made me become a better instructor. It pains me to admit, I use to be “that instructor” that would secretly judged someone if they were overweight. It never occured to me that other issues could be a factor. Getting BII was such a humbling blessing. I now will champion for my clients and will be your biggest supporter. Funny how life works out like that. I am qualified to get you out of pain because I lived with pain for years. I qualified to help you in a body you feel trapped in, I was a prisoner in mine for years. I’m qualified to help you with body issues, I’ve overcome mine and I know your pain. I see you and I don’t judge you.

mindfulmovementpilatesstudio.com @pg/pilatesdallas/about @mm_pilates_dallas

Kevitta “”KJ”” Jackson | Serial Entrepreneur| Professional Makeup Artist & Real Estate Investor

Growing up I was influenced by my father(a truck driver), who was a man of great discipline, structure and strong organizational skills. My beautiful mother also influenced me as an entrepreneur. She owned a salon in Mississippi called “”Bold and Beautiful Hair Salon””, where I would often watch her meticulously craft the perfect look, all while igniting my passion for the beauty industry. This is where the journey began for me and I would use my little sister (and those around me)as my muse for years to come.

In 2007, my mother passed due to Multiple Sclerosis, my father soon would follow in 2009 in a fatal motorcycle accident. Although I felt stricken, these events would serve as the nucleus of my total growth and transformation. Fueled by the burning desire to continue to bring honor to my parents, (by faith) in 2015 I started my first company in Dallas, Little Dot Solutions. The focus of this company is to offer simple logistics and creative real estate investment solutions to clients in the DFW area. As a serial entrepreneur, you never settle for just one idea, so I was compelled to fulfill my desire. This evolution has led me back to my passion for the beauty industry. There is no greater feeling for me, I love making people beautiful. So, after becoming a certified artist in Dallas, I launched FaceCrown Beauty in 2019 offering professional makeup services and classes throughout DFW.

The most important lesson I’ve learned in my journey so far is that we all have the power to re-invent ourselves. Peace is the new wealth!

facecrownbeauty.com littledotsolutions.com @facecrownbeauty @ldsolutions2020 main.nationalmssociety.org/goto/dotsdaughters

Stephen Davis | Husband, Father, Friend, Engineer, Photographer, Videographer, Tinkerer, and All Around Good Guy

The best ROI is investing in yourself; always remain true to yourself; be observant.

@The_Monsignor

Jaidyn Nicole | Multi-Method Extension Artist

The most important lesson I have learned as an extension artist is that there is no one single technique that is right for every client. We all have different hair needs and wants, with that being said, your service can be focused on just density and/or length. There are a wide range of colors and styles to choose from. The customization is solely dependent on the artist’s recommendation and the clients preference.

@Jaidyn.Nicole

Nikki Koenig | Vegan Foodie | Traveler | Consultant

The most important lesson I’ve learned in my 6-year ethical vegan journey is to always question how things are produced.

@NiKoVegan

Jon Atwood | Award Winning Custom Builder

When clients are interviewing me as a possible contractor for their most passionate possession I’d like to stress to them to Find Someone they like, someone proven to be honest and trustworthy not just a YES man, and then tell them along the way that your either happy or concerned about the process, Its a relationalship experience and not just a quick business sale.

atwoodcustomhome.com

Kinome McGrane | hair magician and color specialist

The biggest lesson I have learned in my journey as a stylist is that honest and direct communication is the most important. And the first step of communication is really listening!

@sweethairspace sweethairspace.com

Sylvia Flanagan | Wife | Mother of five | Minister and Entrepreneur

In the midst of chaos (life), find your place of peace!

@sylvia_has_godly_courage

Sung Won, MD | Regenerative & Longevity Doctor

I have learned that health is a choice. After long research on longevity and regenerative medicine, I believe humans have he ability to live healthy ’til 120 years old, but we damage our body long before it needs to be repaired. Nutrition and lifestyle modification has tremendous power to prevent disease and heal our body. Also, we must live our life in harmony with our planet and all beings. By going whole food plant based vegan, you will be compassionate to your body as well as our planet and all the animals.

NeoGenNutrition.com @DrWonMD

Matt Swinney | Founder, Fashion By Texas

@linnimages

Collaborate. Entrepreneurs tend to live in a bubble, but my greatest creativity and ideas are usually inspired by others. By being open to collaboration, really smart people come into your life on a daily basis and really special things can happen. The fashion industry is cutthroat but in our little slice of it, we do everything we can to work with as many people as we can.

fashionbytexas.com @fashionbytexas

Maddy Frankow | Hairstylist at Charlie + Co Fort Worth

The path to being a great stylist is not a linear one. There are so many different skills you need to posess. It is a constant learning and growing experience!

@maddyfrankowhair

Amarachi Clement | Professional Makeup Artist

@rinowenmedia

If I were to say that I’ve learned 1 lesson throughout my journey as a Makeup Artist and Business Woman, I would be making that up! Lol I’ve learned so many lessons.. Some from others and some, just from life experiences. The biggest lesson that I’ve learned is to not be a slave to fear and to see myself through my eyes and not others! I can not tell you how many times I’ve let opportunities, ideas and dreams pass by because of fearing that I was not good enough or I wouldn’t perform to a certain degree or just being rejected. I’ve had to speak things over myself that others didn’t. I’ve had to learn and understand what it truly means to have faith over fear and stop regretting missed opportunities. Keeping God first in everything has played a very vital role to my growth. What he has uniquely gifted me with, no one else can do and no one can take that. I can’t let fear or the validation of people hold me back from being the person God has purposed me to be. To be great! To be extraordinary! To be consistent! So, I trust him and I just do it!

AmarachiMUA.com (currently under construction) @AmarachiMUA @AmarachiMUA youtube.com/c/AmarachiMUA

Bethany Sharpe | Cosmetic & General Dentist

Wow, there are so many lessons I have learned along the way. I believe the most important lesson is never stop wanting to learn whether it be to improve at your craft or to be a better person.

@dr_bethany ovillafamilydentistry.com

Ronnika Williams | Attorney | Makeup Artist | Entrepreneur

That I am where I am supposed to be. At times I’ve worked towards a goal(s) and things aren’t moving as fast as I’d like, or maybe a didn’t get an opportunity or recognition that I wanted in a certain area.

I have learned (sometimes still learning) that God’s timing is perfect. I look back sometimes at things that I rushed and got frustrated about. I understand now that things needed to happen the way they did so that I could learn and grow. I’m trying not to rush the process. I’m enjoying where I am personally and professionally right now. Also— I’ve stopped comparing myself to others. Comparison is the thief of Joy.

impeccablefaces.com

Anthony Gomez | Photographer

The most important lesson I’ve come to familiarize myself within my journey into photography begins with my persistence. Starting from absolutely no prior knowledge on how cameras function I challenged myself to build experience. During my journey into photography, I discovered that thanks to persistence I allowed myself to become determined and overall improve my photography experience. Most importantly, I’ve come to understand that within the vast variety of photography techniques I learn to discover myself only through pure experience. Therefore, Discovering where I pertain became far more rewarding than letting others label me within the community of talented photographers in Dallas. As a result, I’ve learned that an optimistic mindset better prepares me for the inevitable challenges when working in the field of photography.

@_dal.ant_vizuals_

Antonio Avilés | Photographer & Videographer

When you’re grateful for what you have instead of being upset on what you think you deserve, you find a sense of contentment.

– Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life. – Stay true to yourself and live by a set of rules that you’ve made, so that there can be some stability in your life. – Always know your worth, and don’t let anyone bring you down to benefit their needs or egos; You are just as important as anybody else.

@translucent.ash

Aston LaFon | Director Sales & Marketing and Co-Founder at 18.21 Man Made

Stay genuine. Avoid gimmick. Work smarter not harder. Express gratitude. Stay humble.

1821manmade.com @1821ManMade @1821manmade @1821manmade

The post What’s the Most Important Lesson You’ve Learned Along Your Journey? appeared first on Voyage Dallas Magazine | Dallas City Guide.

source http://voyagedallas.com/2020/01/13/whats-important-lesson-youve-learned-along-journey/

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jobsearch-v02 · 7 years

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What To Do When No One Will Hire You!

While I have talked about trying to get a job, there are times where companies just don't want to hire you because of:

age

intelligence - emotional or intellectual

looks

health care costs

culture

corporate espionage

credit worthiness

black listed

previous job termination

emotional or psychological behaviors

other issues

You've come to the realization, "You no longer have a time frame upon which you will be hired to work for a company." And, now you are left with one very important question, "How am I going to pay my bills?"

Let's be clear, this is not even about, "Earning a Living", this is about slashing your expenses to the bone to maintain 7 essential things:

a place to store store food, personal belongings, and sleep

focus on cooking your own food

get only as much sleep as you need, depression causes you to sleep over 8 hours a day

maintain a gym membership, get a bike, and use public transportation as little as possible - this will keep your depression levels down.

save money by going with large groups of friends to the park, meals, movies, or other events.

build new product and service offerings

check quarterly medical and dental check ups - everyone suffers seasonal changes

In short these suggestions are:

personal space

sleep

eat

excersize

study

resolve mental and physical problems

Grieving:

Let's go through the 5 stages of grieving, as the sooner you get through this emotional depression, the faster you can start focusing on what the rest of this blog article has to offer.

Denial

Bargaining

Depression

Anger

Acceptance

Denial is the hardest part. As long as you're in denial about the fact that NO ONE WILL HIRE YOU, you will never believe that you need to change directions and take the advice that this blog post has to offer you. So, for now you're screwed. Your bank account will become depleted, along with credit cards, and many other sources of income that could be used to spear head you back into a work situation. Stop getting drunk, high, and wishing that someone would hire you. It's NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!!!

Eventually you'll move into bargaining with some higher power or authoritarian figure .. usually your landlord, who needs to pay their bills. Arguing with him won't make him go away, or help you find a job. Nor, will discussing this issue with your therapist or life coach. You have to accept that NO ONE IS GOING TO HIRE YOU!!! WHY?? WHO KNOW! They are pricks, label them, and decide to get even, by becoming a billionaire, where they have to beg you for a job.

Uhg, now you're in bed for all hours of the day crying, sleeping, begging for someone to fix your problem. /me sighs .. let's fast forward this train wreck.

Anger .. yes, get completely and totally pissed about the situation. You need that energy to DRIVE YOU. Without it, you won't be able to show those A-Holes that you could be a valuable asset to their companies bottom line. But hey, they choose to go with the younger, faster, sportier model that fit into their corporate culture. Yay for them, now show them what experience really can do.

When you ACCEPT that NO ONE WILL HIRE YOU!!! .. You're finally ready to start your own business ... YAY!!! Let's get moving.

Being an Entrepreneur:

It's a scary thought, but when when you have to earn your own living, regardless of whether or not you wanted to be an entrepreneur, guess what ... you are. So, let's kick start your company.

In previous posts, I've discussed what a company needs to survive:

Clients

Marketing

Products & Services

Sales

Research and Development

Vendors

That's the core. That's all you need. If you have clients, you have financing. If you have financing, you have a way to pay your bills. So, let's look at how to gather prospective clients FAST!!!

There many social sites out there. Most are oriented around SEX, because sex sells. If it looks and feels sexy, you'll attract customers: Viagra, Clothing, Cars, Houses, Beach Vacations, ... There are other categories in which people will find your marketing message interesting:

Sex

Extreme sports

Successful people

od looking people

Accessories

Pets

Social Sites will help you present your product, but they won't help you gain clients directly. You need visitors to refer others to your content. Basically, when people post a link to your content on their time line, or favorite you, or even ask how to support your work, this is how you gain contacts.

There are 21 major social sites. There are also a dozen sites that cater to just what you do. In addition, there are books, magazines, journals, and other periodicals that talk about material that is related to your line of work. Find them, each and every one of them. You want to make sure that when you create a you tube video, that it is cross linked, and posted to all these locations.

The old way is to go through your contacts. Who do you know? And, who do they know? There are no more than 6 people between you and client, the idea is to get to your target audience in as few steps as possible. So how do you find prospects. The nice thing about using social sites to host your content, is that your friends can immediately link a prospect to your content.

Make sure the content you post in the 21 social sites, links back to your website. Each piece should use a different URL that helps you track where people are seeing you the most. A good way to do this is through a GUID that is unique to every piece you publish and where you publish it. So, even if you post the same piece in 3 places, each gets a unique URL/GUID that links back to your site.

While sex sells, it's frowned upon to sell yourself. Instead, sell your time. When you see a Doctor, he doesn't bill you for successfully solving your cold, he bills you for the time he spends with you in his office. We will talking about pricing in a bit.

Lastly about clients, they have needs, just like you. As an Entrepreneur you are a professional problem solver. So, when a prospective client reaches out, interview them. Get to know as much as you can about them as possible, without become too intrusive.

When asking yourself the question, should I execute a cold sales call someone, or should I interview them, always default to interviewing them. Clients like being interviewed for potential articles. They like being quoted. People like being being cross linked when possible. So, take advantage of this desire to be popular.

Marketing Metrics and Data:

Keep track of data:

Who is hiring in your field of expertise.

Who you interview with

The reason why you are declined

You need names of people who are interested in your line of work. And you want people who know these people. Even though they are not hiring you now, it's because they are only either getting to see your resume, or are getting to see you for 5 minutes in an interview. But if there are links to your work, eventually, they come to you, as an expert. So, make sure you are able to target them with your expert knowledge, and learn what they do need.

There are 3 groups of clients you should look for initially. The first is non-profits. They are always looking for people who are willing to help them. This is a great way to meet people, provide a service, and network. It also builds up the group of people willing to testify that you are both trust worthy, as well as get the job done. Some non-profits will pay you for your time, as their donor base is solid and well funded.

The next group is small businesses. While they are small, and will require your services less than you would like, they also have connections that you can pull on. Read below, about listing vendors. Other small businesses have clients and vendors that they rely on, and these groups of people are always in contact with each other – passing referrals. So, build your small business network, interview these guys, and see if they are a fit for your services.

The third group, is home users. This group of users is harder to build, and will require using the social sites to reach them. Meetup, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Tumblr, Flixr, InstaGram, LinkedIn, WikiPedia, … check WikiPedia for a list of current social sites to help you determine where to post links to your content. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_media#/media/File:Importance_of_social_media_for_different_corporate_functions.png

Vendors:

As for vendors, you will need help managing your business. As was pointed out, your content should have a separate GUID attached to each URL pointing back to your website, when the article is posted to social sites. So, just in that thought, you may require a graphic artist, web master, and an editor. While you may provide the content, they will make sure that it looks great, is searchable, is traceable for marketing metrics, and reads or sounds good. A good web master will also instruct you on which hash-tags to use to make finding you via a search engine easier (Search Engine Optimization or SEO).

In addition to those three competencies, you will need vendors who provide various types of office supplies – locally. Amazon is great, but overnite shipping costs, so buy locally when needed. I suggest you make a list of all the vendors you will need for your business, and how they will help you. These vendors can also help you advertise, as they like to cross advertise / promote their wares / themselves as well.

Also, send this content to publishers so that they are aware of you. Publishers are constantly looking for fresh views on various topics, or may just need to fill column inches. They may not pick you up immediately, but if you contribute regularly to your blogs, they may find that your content in aggregate could be useful in other forms. In either case, once you are picked up, even in small publications, this becomes free advertising.

Marketing:

So, now you know where to find clients, and how to demonstrate that you know what you know. Start producing content about your products and services so that people can find you. However, I suggest watching TedX Talks to see how to build informative content, that will attract clients. TedX also produced a book on TedTalks. I suggest reading this, because it will tell you what audience like and dislike about infomercials.

The best TedTalks are those that have a kernal of wisdom. Similar to my blog, here's my experience, in trying to find a job, what I've learn, how I've used it, how I've grown, and how I've failed. One TedX Speaker demonstrated how to defend a PhD thesis through Ballet. Another talked about helping people get anything they wanted, as long as they were willing to give up the word, “FINE!”, or in context, “I'm Fine!” There are hundreds of talks on many different topics, some good, some bad. Find those that you like and follow the speakers.

The primary purpose of marketing is to get the word out that you exist. That's it. Otherwise, people will consider other options to solve their problem. You do have a solution to a problem, right? So, what is the problem you are trying to solve, and how do you solve it. It's not important to tell them in great detail how you solve it, having some mystery is important to running a successful business. Leaders don't pull back the curtain, they produce results. You, just need to match the problem with a solution.

For example, do you have a unique way to teach adults program languages? Or maybe, you found that coupling Rosetta Stone with a unique training program helps people learn languages better. Or maybe you're a tour guide, and want to give personal tours of great sites in your city. Or you're an accountant, and you like doing books remotely, so you have people send you their receipts via pictures in a secured site. Or, you're a security guard, looking for gigs at music venues, since you like different types of music, and talking with people. This is what some people call, “Their Passion!”

My passion, by the way, is to collect huge amounts of seemingly unrelated data about life, and organize it into a meaningful way for others to understand and utilize. That's why I write long blog posts with lots of information in them. But I go about this process of collecting information very differently, and I have built my own database engine to help me collect, manage, sort and build these vaults of information.

When it comes to marketing, I suggest keeping the messages clear, short as possible, linked directly with ways to solve the problem, and if you’re creative tell a story with a happy ending. Short and sweat. Some people probably look at my blog posts and run screaming for the hills. But there is a crowd out there who need ideas. They are searching for a job, but have exhausted the current resources, and need fresh ideas on where to look for other possible opportunities.

Saving Money:

First an foremost, start using every basic government assistance programs that is available to you. While this may provoke an emotional response around being self supportive, you will soon learn that you are not alone in this boat. There are many like you, and the sooner the government starts to realize this (that too many people are being disproportionalatley displaced from work), the faster they will look into WHY!!! And, respond.

As to which programs to apply for:

Unemployment

Health Care

Food Stamps

Free College Education

Free STD Clinics

IRS Tax Credits

Focus on conserving money for as long as possibly. So, all expenses that the government can pay for, should be slashed from your budget. Also, look at which tax credits the government will provide you for becoming self employed. While they may not help you in the moment, having a lump sum of money returned to you at the end of a tax year, helps cover bills, or update equipment that otherwise is falling behind. Or, even allows you to take a vacation to relax, unwind, recharge, and think creatively about different ways you could solve problems for your clients.

Unemployment will only pay for 7 months a year. You may be able to find some side work through your company. During that time they will ask you, "To Be Willing to Give Up Being an Entrepreneur!" Ha ha ha ha ... say yes, even though you know that the prospect of becoming employed in your field of work is next to 0%.

The other thing Unemployment Agencies may ask you to do is report on the companies you applied for positions. With the advent of sites like Monster Dot Com, you can easily collect all emails with positions and applications for positions, and provide a printed copy of this data to the agency. On average I have 13 to 20 pages per week to send to them.

This data provides the Unemployment Agency with data that shows 2 things:

one you are actively searching for prospects. Including clients who might be interested in your products / services.

that no one is willing to hire you.

Think about it this way, the old adage used to be, when an AD is place in a news paper 1 in 100 people will respond to it. For a position posting, up to 600 people respond to a position positing. And, when you receive and respond to 20 pages of position postings, the odds are not only way out of whack, something is seriously wrong, and they need to figure out what it is. Not you! You're doing what you're supposed to do, try to find work.

Every person in the US is required to have health insurance. If you can't afford it, it must be provided to you. Therefore, there is no excuse for you not to have it. So get it. In addition to health insurance, think health programs .. like having a gym membership where you can work out. I've talked about this before, having a gym membership will help you with your depression. It will also help you stay fit, and motivated. If you become a regular at the gym, the staff will chat with you, and other regulars will chat with you. This is a great way to segway into being an entrepreneur, and see if they know someone who knows someone who might need your services, or what ideas they have about marketing.

Food stamps are a tricky thing, and will require you to have a business banking account in order to keep your business funds separate from your personal funds. The administrator of the food stamps program will tell you how much money per month you are allowed to make, or keep in your personal bank account. If your company can pay you, pull that amount out for personal expenses, otherwise, don't draw a salary. Keep the personal balance low.

Many cities now offer free college. Use it. I suggest later to use the library, while a city library is nice, a college library / campus is also a nice place to help keep yourself from going stir crazy while trying to find clients. There are resources also on campus, like the employment office that can help you research prospective clients. In addition, the university may offer courses in your field, or in area's of your business that you need to become more secure in. Or, they may offer access to health facilities. Take full advantage of everything the university has to offer to help prepare yourself for the work you will be doing tomorrow.

And while you should get quarterly checkups by a physician, seeing an STD clinic should be an bi-annual thing as well. You may not have symptoms, but it never hurts to be sure you haven't accidentally been exposed to something either by a casual hand shake or a kiss. Most clinics are funded by the county and state, even though they may ask for a donation. If you don't have the money, they won't turn you away.

Budgeting Expenses:

Your budget should consist of as little as possible:

Your SPACE ... Rent / Mortgage

Water, Gas, Electricity, Garbage

Telephone / Skype Number

Internet

Mobile Phone

Food

Exercise

Transportation

Website - maybe

First and foremost, you need a dedicated space to be all yours. Someplace you can sleep, eat, keep your things, and be safe. You don't want your cloths, food, bedding, and business materials to disappear because someone thinks you don't deserve them. Being homeless is very stressful, hard, exhausting, and expensive.

With a dedicated space comes basic utilities: Water, Gas, Electricity, Gas. If you only have to pay electricity and Gas, you're well off. You can offset the cost of some electrical items with solar power, like charing your phone or laptop. There are also special programs that may be available to help you with the cost of your electricity.

If you're using a land line, get rid of it. Switch to a high speed internet service, and a Skype number. The reason for this is, if you have to move, you want as few things tied to a physical location as possible. Skype only costs 36$ / year for a line, and 36$ for voice mail. That beats a land line for 20$ a month. Plus if you loose your internet service, you can use Skype via WiFi at StarBucks or the library.

You will need unlimited internet service on both your cell phone and residential service. You can't send out resumes, post content, or even run a business on limited services. This very helpful due to the cost of being connected 24/7. Remember you're going to USE social sites to advertise. So, having unlimited bandwidth is important when doing Skype interviews, posting content, researching content, and chatting with prospective clients.

When I said that being homeless is expensive, the average budget for a homeless person's food supply is spent in individual meals at restaurants. With the average cost of a meal in San Francisco now costing $25.00, times 3 x 30 .. that add up to a 2k bill. This is in contrast to the 150$ a month given for Food Stamp Benefits. To make 150 work for a month, you need to cook for yourself. Meals composed of materials that can last 2 weeks to a month, and be mixed together.

Now depending on where you're living, you may or may not have access to a shower. Some people consider privacy in the bathroom a requirement. Others have to share. And some choose to use the showers at the gym. I suggest you become accustom to using the showers at the gym. There are 3 good reasons why:

- if the gym is the first thing you do every day, it gets you out of bed, out of the house, and your blood flowing, which in turn keeps you out of depression and keeps the ideas flowing.

- If the ideas are flowing, then you have a better chance to spot a potential path to finding a prospective client.

- Once you're out of your dwelling, you can make it habit to go to a library to work on your business. Remember you need research magazines and journals, and being in your dwelling feels safe, you have to meet people, so being safe all the time is no longer an option.

Finally, the website. Find the cheapest place to post a static website initially, then find a graphic artist to design a site for you, and then figure out how to set up a word press website. Why Word Press? Because, initially you are posting blog content, talking about your products and services. You don't need a custom CRM to manage your clients. You need to tell them about the problems you can solve.

Food:

There are many things that will drive a person, food is at the bottom. If you don't have food, things become very desperate very fast. And, sugar is no replacement to a good meal. Therefore I suggest preparing your meals based on the diabetic diet plan. The plan is very simple, you eat a small portion once every 2 hours. The portion is the size of your fist. A ziplock 3 x 3 x 1.5 plastic food container is about this size.

The diabetic plan breaks meals into the following:

Breakfast

Fruits & Nuts

Protean

Salad

Complex Carb

Fruits & Nuts

Protean

Salad

Complex Carb

Desert

The nice part is that you can make 3 different meals for a week, pre package them, freeze them or chill them as needed, and pull them to mix and match for a day. Carrot sticks with beef stew and straw berries for one day, while having chicken Alfredo, salad, and sweet potatoes for another meal. Rotating through 3 or 4 different meals for a week, will help keep the meals fresh. Mixing your meals with luncheons with clients will also help you keep your palette from screaming for change.

The other reason for this meal plan, is that it stops cravings immediately. There is always good food to eat. Thus your sugar and cholesterol will balance out. It also helps control your weight, as the body will learn that there is food coming regularly, vs maybe skipping a meal.

And, it also costs less to eat this way in the long run, than it does to buy food from fast food restaurants. By preparing larger meals that are packaged into smaller meals, you will rely less on fast food restaurants, which usually serve only 1 of the 4 food groups, vs taking in all 4 food groups during a meal.

Stop at GNC and pick up a blender and mixing glass. This will prove handy when running around the city as you can put water, coffee, whey protean, vitamin water, or other liquid in it that doesn't cost you a lot. I personally like chilled water or Gatorade. As, I've become friends with a few bar tenders, I stop in various places and ask them to fill it up with ice and water. If I'm carrying Gatorade, I dump it in for flavor.

Pack your meals. Throughout this article, I've recommended that you get out of your dwelling to avoid depression. If you don't pack a meal, you will have to stop at a restaurant to buy food. Food you can't afford. So pack your lunch. It's not hard, takes 10 minutes.

Supplements have heir place. This is not a plug for GNC, but I've found them very helpful when solving body ache problems where I don't want to use aspirin. Thus, I have researched different foods and supplements that help me heal faster from work outs. Just the act of jogging and body building causes me intense pain for up to a week. Plus, I've found that Flax Seed Oil is great is eliminating acid reflux. And, my physician has recommended taking Vitamin B and Magnesium to help reduce headaches.

So, Eat! The act of eating takes the worry out of wondering where the next meal is coming from. It also helps you focus your attention on the problems you are trying to resolve, getting clients. I, personally, am a nervous eater, so I usually have one or 2 of those containers near me to pull from. I also love to cook. The act of taking 3 hours out of a week to chop veggies, bake and stew various dishes helps me relax. I know where my next meals are coming from.

Incorporating:

OK, so, you're eventually going to earn a living from selling your services. But you can't run this money through your personal bank account, as it will mess up all the government subsidies you are receiving. Therefore you need to run them through a corporate bank account. Many banks have 0 interest / fee bank accounts, so there's no worry there about tracking fees. Just don't cause over drafts. But to get this type of account you need an IRS EIN.

It's not hard to incorporate. File an IRS LLC to get an EIN, then go to the county clerk to register your EIN with a DBA, and open a corporate bank account. Why a corporate bank account vs a personal bank account. The reason why, is that you want your corporate expenses to be separate from your personal expenses. And, when you look at the IRS Schedule C, you will be amazed at how much stuff you can write off. Or to put it simply, 90% of all your expenses can be written off. Plus the IRS gives you tax credits for being self employed.

Now lets look at your budget in terms of the IRS Schedule C.

Space .. this is your office space / office expense

Electric, Gas, Water, Garbage .. is your office space / office expense

Telephone / Skype .. this is an office expense

Internet .. this is how you marketing and connect with clients

Food .. every meal you have with someone is an office expense

Transportation .. every trip you take is an office expense

Excersize .. this is part of your health plan .. esp when it comes to anti-depression

WebSite - marketing expenses

Again, almost everything can be written off. So keep those receipts. Log them, categorize them, track your time, where you travel, and what you did. All of this helps prove not only that you're looking for a job to the unemployment agency, but also shows the IRS that you're trying to run a business.

You will need the EIN number when you actually bill clients, as they will have to report all payments made to you to the IRS. This helps show that the payment isn't a cash donation, but a real transaction took place. And while Unemployment wants you to state the number of hours you worked, legally, it wasn't you working, it was hours your company worked. Whether it was you working for your company, or someone else, doesn't matter. It was the company that got paid, not you.

In addition, it is the company paying the bills, not you. The money went into a corporate account, and paid corporate expenses. So what if you paid 150$ for a meal with a prospective client and talked about the product and services you provide, and how you are marketing them on the internet, this is a business expense. The company is not paying you to do this. At least not yet.

Pricing Your Time:

Now that you have a budget, and you know how much money your company has to spend to keep your company afloat, let's look at how much your time is worth. To do this, we will use an equation ...

There are 50 weeks in the year you will work. Why not 52, because of holidays. Esp between Christmas and New Years, almost no one will want your services. This hold true for Thanks Giving, and around some other holidays. So, 50 weeks.

Within those 50 weeks you will work a standard 40 hour per week. While you may work more or less, as an independent consultant, on average, you will work 40 hours a week.

Those 40 hours a week will be broken into 3 jobs .. marketing, research and development, and actually selling your products / services. Therefore, you will only really bill out 10 hours a week.

Now, since you are only billing out 10 hours a week, time 50 weeks in a year, you now have the number of hours you have to actually bill clients. So, the rate you will bill them is 3 to 5 times or market rate for your services. Remember, you have to cover the cost of finding the next client, the budget you created earlier, and your continued education into the next market you feel clients could benefit from your services.

So .. 50 x 10 equals the number of hours you will bill during a year.

Take this number and divide it into your expenses. Let's say, for example, you have 4000$ in expenses each month, times 12 means you pay out 48,000 each year in expenses. You need to bill per hour 48000 / 500 equals 96 dollars per hour.

Now, here's a caviot for your clients. If they consume 20 hours a week, they get a different rate, vs 30 vs 40. And at 40 hours a week, you could charge them about 30 dollars per hour. Doesn't that feel a lot better?

To charge 96 dollars an hour, you have to appear to be an expert in your field. So, the more you blog, the more followers you have, the more people you have referring others to your work, the more you can charge. Because, as more people want your services, you can push the market rate up to get the best of the best clients. So, if you find that at 200 dollars per hour you're still getting 30 new client requests a day, continue too raise it. Someone feels you're worth it and more.

Being Productive vs Doing Work:

One of the problems that entrepreneurs fall into, if not depression, is the concept of doing work. There is a difference in work that is just make work, vs being productive. You are only productive, if the work you do leads to the hours you spend being billed to a client. Everything else is considered a waste of time.

Yes you have to cook, clean, exercise, educate yourself, write blogs, and make presentations, but none of these things can be billed to a client. So, if when you have to do them, make sure they are outside the 15 or so hours you've set aside to actually do client work.

Therefore I suggest maintaining a ToDo list that is verb oriented, or Task Type. Example:

Wash: Dishes

Confirm: Appointment with Sam

Meet: Sam at 12 for lunch

Work On: Proposal for Jen

Then sort the ToDo's based on work then personal.

I have 53 Task Types in my ToDo list so far. I sort my Todo's by task type so that I can execute todo's to efficiently. Some people organize their todo's based on their route for the day, thus a todo will appear on their phone when they are in the area as a reminder. But the best thing to do is to create a new Todo List every morning. Always start with the calls you have to make. Confirm those appointment slots, so that you don't waste your time traveling to a client that cant meet you.

Focus on todo's that will earn you a living.

Do as much as you can for as long as you can when you can. Depression will take over your life from time to time, as you build your client base. The loss of a client can be just as devastating as gaining a new client.

What will your income look like:

You will no longer rely on a single pay check anymore. Instead you will receive payments from multiple sources:

Clients

Books

Magazine Articles

Blog Posts

Advertising Revenue

Referrals

Product Sales

Contracts

Subscriptions to your content

Giving Presentations

Once you have enough clients that want to pay for your time, and your content, writing and giving presentations will become the mainstay of your life. You will learn to book yourself solid .. which is a book, look it up.

Basically, you are building income streams. Each stream will run a 5 year course. After 5 years, you will have to replace it with a new stream. The more streams you can manage at one time, the more money you will make. And, the more streams you have, the faster you will find clients.

Final Comment:

If I could, I would have the Unemployment Agency create a whole series of courses around this topic to help people who are experiencing this problem. It's not their fault that companies don't want them. But, it is this agencies job to help you build a new income. Even if that means become self employee.

#unhireable #no one will hire you #job search #entrepreneur #self employeed

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