#BUT I /JUST/ UNLOCKED THE DOUBLE JUMP ABILITY AND IMMEDIATELY I ACCIDENTALLY FIND OUT YOU CAN FUCKING FLY

[menaceborn]

This game isn't real... there's no way this game is real

#I'M TRYING TO HARD NOT TO LAUGH OUT LOUD RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IT'S LIKE 6AM #BUT I /JUST/ UNLOCKED THE DOUBLE JUMP ABILITY AND IMMEDIATELY I ACCIDENTALLY FIND OUT YOU CAN FUCKING FLY #this game is so silly #so so incredibly silly

[wilfordndarkdidntdeservethis]

@what-the-flug The idea of mad! Flug came from that beauty! Try checking out their blog before reading! :D ——————————————– “Flug!!” Snarled the annoyed voice. The anxious scientist made his way towards his boss, tripping on his feet along the way. “S-sorry sir! W-what is-” Dr. Flug pauses midsentence to gasp. There in Black Hat’s arms was a knocked out super hero. A wide grin stretches across the scientist’s hidden face. “We’ve brought in another one. 5.0.5 managed to grab him after destroying half the city. The hero knocked right out after he was used as a chew toy.” Sneered Black Hat. The demon dropped the hero to Dr. Flug’s feet. “Do… Whatever you do with those heroes. I’m surprised you manage to keep them quiet wherever you put them.” Muttered Black Hat, walking off. As soon as he laid his eyes on the unconscious hero, a million thoughts ran through his head on what he’d do. Flug immediately began dragging the body away. Dragging the body was easy for him, picking it or lifting it up long distances was another. He could only pick them up short distances. Enough to make it from the lab to a trash can out back that later burned trash periodically. I mean, what else was he gonna do with corpses? Leave them to rot and stink? He was evil, but he was not trashy, no. Flug dragged the body into the lab, and behind his desk. He glanced around, making sure he wasn’t followed. As soon as he saw the coast was clear he opened a small patch on the floor, tossing the body down, before climbing down himself. The room was dark, dimly lit by a light in the middle of the room, which shined above a glass dome over a large pit. Where Flug kept heroes to rot. He tossed the hero he had been given into the pit from a small opening in the dome before sealing it shut as he always did. He studied the hero, mumbling noted out loud. “Hero appears to be.. Cumulus. Abilities include controlling the amount of water in the air along with weather to a small extent.” He searches around the table he had beside the pit, finding a needle beside a multitude of blood samples from different heroes from the past. He tied a small cord around his body before hopping down into the pit holding a remote and a small needle. He gets on his knees beside the sleeping hero, poking her skin with the small sharp object. As he did this, the hero squirmed with discomfort. “Hey! Hey. Hey, sshh. It’s all fine. Doc just needs a bit of blood is all. Then we can poke you and cut you and potentially zap you until you make your way to the little gates down below!” Dr. Flug giggled softly. His voice wad smooth as silk and clear as day a polar opposite to him outside the room. He pulls the needle away, with a considerable amount of blood in the needle, the blood a grayish hue. He sighs, getting up. “Too bad too. You were such a cool hero.” Dr. Flug sighs. As he begins walking back, the hero shoots up with loud gasp, snapping her neck towards the villain. “you.” She spat. “Where am I!?” She raises her hand, shards of ice forming in the air at rapid speed as Flug presses a button on the remote. As the shards fly towards him, the rope around his waist pulls him swiftly out of the pit, missing the shards just barely! He slams the pit’s opening shut and giggled frantically. “Hahaha! You almost got me there you little hero, you!!” Dr. Flug cackles. The hero stands up. “where am I!? Let me go you bastard!!” She snarls. Dr. Flug ignored her, setting the blood sample inside a vial labeled the hero’s name, setting it right along side others. “interesting note to add! Not only can you affect the water levels in the air, you can also change temperature as well! You’re blood could make a great freeze ray!! Ohh, how exciting!” He grins. “Let. Me. OUT!!” Roared Cumulus, shooting a multitude of ice shards at the ice. The loud thud of the ice’s impact against the seal made Flug jump with surprise. “it’s no use doll!! Impenetrable!” Sang Dr. Flug. Cumulus snarls. “So- so what!? You gonna test me? You gonna torture me? Brain wash me? Control me!?” The hero growls out. Flug taps his chin. “you know. Giving the villain, the person with the upper hand, options is not a good move. However! I will happily accept torture!!” Cheered Flug. He presses a button on the table and arms flung out the side of the pit, grabbing the hero’s arms and legs. Flug hops down yet again with the remote, walking up to the hero who’s now unable to move. She squirms and tugs at the arms trying to break free, alas it was no use. Dr. Flug walks up to her, reaching his hand out. The girl immediately flinched making Flug laugh. He lightly grabs her chin, looking closely at her face. The girl shakes her head, snapping forward to bite his fingers. “You won’t get shit out of me.” She spat. Dr. Flug chuckles slowly, his laugh chilling and dark, unlike his normal self. “Oh sweetie. What do you think I’m torturing you for? Go on. Guess.” He eggs her on. “Info? Weaknesses? Any villain would be stupid not to want that.” She scoffs. “Not necessarily now! A smart villain tortures for info because he lacks it without others to give him the info. A GOOD villain tortures for fun because he already has all the info he needs.” Dr. Flug grins. “What? So you’re torturing me without reason? How stupid!” Cumulus cackles. “See now you’re learning! Evading me from my true goals! Good! Good! But you know, the thing is. When you have a reason, once that reason is reached, you no longer have a reason to hurt! Its a stopping point for pain. A way out for heroes,” He grips her chin rougher than before, making her unable to shake him off, “See, I don’t want that way out for you. You’re trapped here. No matter. What. You. Do!” Dr. Flug spins himself, harshly kicking her dead in the face making Cumulus let out a choked roar in pain. Flug spins back around to face her, punching her on the opposite side of her face, knocking out a tooth. She spits blood onto the doctor. “Fuck. You.” She pants. “Aww! No thanks.” He hissed, running back and kicking her in the stomach. She yells scratchily, doubling over in pain, gasping for air as she hack up blood. Her body falls weak. She’d have fallen on all fours had if not been for the arms holding her in place. Flug punched her face upward, staring her dead in the eye. “Go on now. Do something about this. Drown me, freeze me, stab me with a weak little shard!” Dr. Flug teased. She growls and Dr. Flug bounced out of the way and as he looks away the hero lets out a scream as he hears the sound of sharpness puncturing flesh. He spins around on his heel seeing she had accidentally stabbed her self in the stomach with her own ice shard. “Ohh! That works EVERY time! You heroes are SO gullible!” Dr. Flug smiles. She feels blood dripping from the ice. “S-so you gonna k-kill me huh?” Cumulus coughed. “Damn. Here I though I’d die by a successful villain.” She chuckles weakly. “Oh but honey. I am a successful villain. The disappearance of Unit, Mr Frost, Jubilee, oh what’s his name uhh, Storm clock? Yeah that’s it.” Dr. Flug lists. “Pfft. Idiot. Everyone knows it was Black Hat who killed them.” Cumulus scoffs. Dr. Flug stiffens, before walking closer. He put his hand on the ice shard, pushing it inward making her scream. “He. Did. NOT. A good villain does not boast. A good villain. Does not get caught. A good villain. Is not. That fucking. DEMON!!” Dr. Flug roars. He clicks another button on his remote, tossing it in the air. The metal shifts and reforms and by the time it hits Dr. Flug’s palm, it’s already a destabilizer ray. “Black Hat. Is no. Villain. He is just a cocky. Arrogant. Self absorbed. Fuck.” Flug growls past gritted teeth. Cumulus grins. “Damn. You must really hate him.” She sighs. “Yeah well he pays the money and brings in the heroes like you I get to play with.” Flug sighs, twiddling with the ray in his hand. “So. What are you gonna-” “God damn it. All this Black Hat talk has ruined the mood. You’re not fun anymore.” He pouts. He repositions his body, shooting the hero straight in the head, blood splattering across Dr. Flug’s bag and the ground. He sighs, as the arms around the girl let go and retract into the walls letting the hero’s body fall limp on the floor with a loud thud. Flug shakes his head. “These new toys get worse and worse.” Flug sighs. He digs out a key from his pockets, unlocking a hatch on the wall before dumping the hero’s dead body into the chute to slide out into the garbage. He switched his ray back into the remote, pulling himself out the pit without a care. He showed no pity, no remorse. Like a good villain. He switched out his clothes and bag for a cleaner pair before turning to head back up. As he turns, he stops dead in his tracks, staring at a wide-eyed, trembling, whimpering Dementia. Flug sighs. “How much did you see you little cretin?” He snarls. Dementia’s voice was barely above a whisper. “a-all..” She whispers. Dr. Flug shakes his head, walking up to Dementia. He switches his remote to the ray, the device making an intimidating hum as he slowly held it up under Dementia’s chin, raising her head up making her whimper with fear. “You do not speak. Of what you saw in this room. Black Hat does not know and he never will. Understood.” Dr. Flug growls. “Y-yes.” She whispers. Dr. Flug puts away the ray, patting her head. “Good pet.” He says calmly. As he walks to leave Dementia halts him. “W-wait! I-I just have one question.” She stutters out. Dr. Flug turns around, tilting his head. “why don’t you ever act like this in front of the rest? Wouldn’t black hat.. Y'know. Like it?” She asks. Flug shakes his head. “If a person has a double life, it is to protect the people in the primary life. People have faces. Different ways to act under different situations. No one is sane when no one is looking, Dementia. Besides. Don’t you think if I acted this way for you all, I would have shot that demon in the head by now?” Dr. Flug replies. “Come now. You have your jobs and I have mine.” He smiles. They get out of the room, and Flug shuts the door against the floor. As soon they get out, they hear black hat aggressively calling out for Flug. “FLUG!! WHERE THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU!??” he screeches. Flug sighs, looking over at the scarred girl beside him. “remember. No telling~.” He winks. He takes a deep breathe before running for the door. “C-coming boss! O-oh gosh!!” He calls out, flustered.

#read more #Villainous #i am so sorry #this is long and i cant do the thing on my phone ;-; #villainous fanfic #fanfiction #mad! flug #Dr. Flug #Black Hat #Dementia

[unleashthebeees]

Let me be your Sunshine

Okay so this is a new fic that is mainly fluff at the moment, I mean if you guys like it I can turn it into a series! I hope you enjoy lovelies :) 

Massive thanks to @princess-of-erebor1992​ for proof reading even though you don’t like superheroey stuff, but you’re awesome anyway <3

Overview: reader is best friends with a classmate who both live in the same apartment complex together, but will they stay “just friends” forever? Will Peter ever know the real reason behind their crazy, hyperactive lifestyle?

Warnings: a couple of swear words!

Italics recall the past

You were known in the halls of Queens high school as "the colourful one with ADHD", despite constantly being consumed by how dull the corridors were. Your outfit of the day was simply characterised by what kind of weather it was outside: Rainy day? Fluorescent orange and navy spotted umbrella that terribly matched the crimson dress and purple docs. Cloudy day? The infamous rainbow pompom scarf that you had knitted yourself, terribly in fact, according to a YouTube video. You didn't care that it looked shabby, you just enjoyed making people smile knowing there is a rainbow somewhere in the clouds. On a rare sunshiney day in Queens? That would call for the stripey magenta tank top with grey skinny jeans and worn out, paint splattered combat boots completeing the look. You enjoyed having people involuntarily looking your way, not for attention at all, just so that you could see the glimmer of sunshine that appeared in the dark stormclouds shadowing their lives, knowing that you were that sunshine they so desperately longed for. Sometimes you didn't even know the kid, but it didn't matter in the slightest. But the one person you absolutely loved seeing happy was your neighbour, and classmate, Peter Parker. The dorky nerd who lived a couple floors above you in the apartment building you didn't know you shared.

The friendship started accidentally when you had left your apartment a whirl of citrus themed colours sending the guy you didn't know was behind you into a heap of paper and various sized screwdrivers. "I'm so sorry! I'm just too excited to try the new lemon and orange donut from Holey Moely's donut shop that I must've looked like a donut jumping out my front door! Wait that didn't make sense, hi!" You aimed a small goofy grin towards the gorgeous brown eyes behind glasses and realised it was a guy you had recognised from mechanics class at school. He chuckled as you helped him up, gathering the papers together and handing them to him. "Don't worry about it, I was heading there too actually! Wait, don't I know you from school? You're the colourful one with ADHD right?" He asked as he dusted himself down. You did a little happy dance on the spot as you realised you vaguely knew each other from school, but the label he gave you didn't surprise you in the slightest. "I guess I am, although I don't have ADHD, I'm just hyper! I'm Y/N, I recognise you from mechanics class, you built a tiny LED spanner torch." He nodded in agreement. "Yeah I guess I am that guy," he offered his hand out for you, you held out a fist, "Peter Parker. And you're going for a fistbump. That's totally awesome." Once you had exchanged names and engaged in small conversation that ended abruptly, you suddenly remebered why you had left your apartment in a hurry, "DONUTS! Come on Parker let's go before they run out!" You grabbed his hand and raced towards the shabby elevator of your apartment complex.

Peter made his way over to your post-it note covered locker in the corridor, having watched your entire entrance into school turn eyes at the the new addition of crimson red hair to your outfit choice for the day. "Damn Y/N this is a new look! It's a good look though, very, hmm what's the word, 'out there'" You threw your head back and laughed at the compliment. "That's a good one Parker, never heard that one before! Not at all! You're sooooo original with your comebacks" you replied sarcastically, while getting your boooks out for first period. You caught him staring at the curly locks bouncing along as you talked, wondering why he adored them so much. Naturally, you aren't one to shy away from telling the truth; you said you were naturally honest and couldn't hold a lie for more than three seconds; Peter called you blunt with no filter. Shutting your locker, you confronted him. "Whatcha staring at Parker? Is it my awesome ability to be so completely witty that it amazes you?" His cheeks flushed a deep shade of pink. "Nah, I'm used to that ability, it's your superpower if I'm being 'blunt'," you rolled your eyes with a smile, "I just like what you've done with your hair, it looks nice." You caught a small glimpse of a grin forming on his squishable face. "Well thank you Parker, I thought it's time for a change, in the middle of the semester. Of which we are late for first period! You know you absolutely love Mr Rutherford's retelling of Romeo and Juliet." You nudged his whiny ass along to the English class along the corridor, awaiting imminent death from boredom. ~ It was finally the end of the school day, which meant that it was time for your second favourite part of the day- walking home with Peter after a routine stop off at Willy's cafe just around the corner from home. Your first favourite part of the day was the walk to school where you surprised your best friend with a new combination of colour coordination. A smile, a twirl, and a fistbump was your daily greeting, and since you've been best friends you think some of your fashion sense has inevitably made it's way into Peter's wardrobe, since he seemed to be sporting a bright blue tshirt instead of the regular grey or black printed tee. You both ordered your usual after school snack, yours being a berry smoothie and a rainbow cookie, Peter ordering the blueberry muffin with chocolate chips. After finding out that the elevator in your building had been signposted 'out of use', you reluctantly opted to take the stairs, but by flight 2 you were out of breath. "Wait.. Pete.. 5 minutes.." you huffed out, watching him make fun of your unfit self. "Come on Y/N, that was the second staircase! We have another 3 to go until we ge to your place!" You closed your eyes with a dramtic sigh at the thought of how many flights left to drag yourself up once you had caught your breath. Man, those rainbow cookies weren't one bit good for you but damn they tasted amazing. You flopped onto your stomach after the last flight of stairs that led to your floor and Peter, the cheeky shit, decides to leave you there as he makes his way to your room as though it was his second home, which it had basically become. "Where.. on this earth.. do you get your effort from.. to get up all those stairs.. and not get tired one bit?" You dramatically feigned injury as you crawled your way to the front door of your flat, "WHAT'S YOUR SECRET PARKER??" He rolled his eyes and unlocked the door to your flat, greeting your mom while you followed closely behind, shutting the door. You gently called across the room to your mom, who reclined in an armchair with the curtains drawn, "We're just going to work on a project mom, we won't be too loud." A small nod was sent your way.

Peter jumped on your bright pink double bed, easily taking up all the space while you dropped your bag at the door and made your way to your desk, with the lime green casing illumiating the built-from-scratch desktop computer sitting on it like a million trophies. You were good with electronics, in fact, sometimes better than Peter which he never liked to admit. On stormy days where Aunt May's satelite dish was blown ajar and the cable went out, Peter never seemed to be around. It always seemed to be you lending a helping hand, which you didn't mind. You stayed at his place until he came back late, looking completely windswept and cold. He never told you why he was out so late on days with significantly bad weather, surely he would want to stay inside and watch reruns of The Big Bang Theory, his secret guilty pleasure that you once caught him watching off-guard. You switched your computer on, and waited for it to boot up. You turned to face Peter, who currently had his face buried in your fluffy ragged pompom scarf. "If you want to smell like me I use a mango shower gel that you can get at the dollar store next to Willy's." You stared at the little dork dressed in blue, giggling at his random-ness, knowing that it was completely normal to you. Who were you to say what was random anymore? You were literally the queen of being random and 'out there' as Parker puts it. "If I wanted to smell like you I'd live here constantly, oh wait, I do!" You threw a stray screwdriver in his direction, which he immediately blocked like it was second nature, but you took no notice of it.

This was the kind of friendship you enjoyed having. You had other friends, people who you spoke to on the corridors and in classes where you didn't have a Peter Parker to sit next to and cause trouble with, but the friendship you guys had was more than the odd 'hello' here and there. It might be hard to believe for the people who just took you as "the girl with ADHD" but no one, not even Peter knew why you went out of your way to provide some ray of sunshine to the people who needed it most.

Taglist so far!:

@iwillbeinmynest 

#spiderman #spiderman imagines #spiderman x reader #peter parker #peter parker imagines #peter parker x reader #fic #fluff #iwillbeinmynest #marvel imagines #marvel

[recentanimenews]

River City Girls Brings the Fight, but Also Takes a Beatdown

  If, like myself, you ended up playing River City Ransom as a kid, you were probably mystified by the somewhat odd and obtuse type of game it was: a side-scrolling beat-em up with weird dialogue (the ubiquitous BARF comes to mind), levels, stats, and menus, with a nearly incomprehensible world that surrounded it. Much of that was due to the localization changes in the game, and frankly the Kunio-kun franchise has never really gotten the best localizations in the West, usually undergoing massive changes, being released out of order, and other drastic changes. However, beat 'em up games are one of gaming’s most beloved and underserved co-op genres, with recent generations of games having ditched the couch co-op for larger online player bases or single-player experiences.

  While there are some occasionally brilliant brawlers that find their way onto systems these days, a new leader in the pack hasn’t really emerged since 2010’s Scott Pilgrim vs The World: The Game, a now sadly lost to the intricacies of licensing problems brawler masterclass. WayForward seems intent on trying to change this, as their Double Dragon Neon attempted to take Scott Pilgrim’s throne in 2014, and in 2019 WayForward have released their newest co-op beat em up: River City Girls. After receiving both a Switch and PS4 code of the game, I decided to take a look at the game and see what conclusions I would come to. And… well, it’s probably best to just say it up front: I was really let down by this game.

    In River City Girls, players take on the role of Misako and Kyoko, who receive a mysterious text that implies that their boyfriends, series lead Kunio and co-star Riki, have been kidnapped. Vowing to get back their boyfriends, the two girls go on a rampage across WayForward’s colorful envisioning of River City, meeting countless recolored enemies, Kunio-kun series character callbacks and revamps, and even Double Dragon cameos. For those not in the know, the two series have always been somewhat joined at the hip, although the Neon redesigns in this game stick out a bit more than you’d expect when compared to the overall aesthetics. Along the way, Misako and Kyoko can level up, buy new moves, eat food, and shop for new gear with their hard earned cash as they complete various quests and missions to progress the game or pursue bonuses.

  The game can be played solo or co-op, and for the sake of this review, I played the entire game through to New Game+ co-op (more on that later). Players have the ability to turn on or off friendly fire, change difficulty, and swap characters before starting, and can even drop in and out of games on the fly (all offline, though). Overall, the game will last about 12 hours if you’re trying to do absolutely everything and occasionally grinding for items and levels, and this includes the hidden boss, but not a full NG+ run-through (we estimate you might hit about 20 hours overall if you’re looking to do that, and maybe more if you were trying to get every trophy).

    As Misako and Kyoko search for their boyfriends, the story unfolds in occasional and fun comic-strip style cutscenes, and the game is fully voiced throughout, making the colorful world really come to life. Much like Double Dragon Neon, WayForward really nailed the aesthetic they were going with, and the character designs and general world of River City Girls is a huge success, especially when the very cool soundtrack is tossed into the mix (the vocal songs in particular are quite catchy)!

  World building seems to be something that, at least aesthetically, WayForward know how to do exceptionally well; some of the best moments in this game come from the interesting assortment of shopkeepers that players encounter, and characters fill uniquely designed and visually appealing. The writing is generally solid and funny, with Misako and Kyoko’s one-liners being some of the best parts of the entire game’s dialogue. The voice acting in the game is generally very solid, although some character voices are fairly questionable; one character, Godai, has what seems to be an Irish accent that inexplicably appears more and more prominently as the game progresses, and other character voices are similarly confusing at times. Misako, Kyoko, Hasebe, and Mami are perhaps the best voiced characters in the game, though, which really does a lot of work for the overall attitude of the game.

    As far as the gameplay itself is concerned, however, things start to fall apart faster than we really expected. Fans of beat 'em up games are generally used to somewhat “unfair” games, as many beat-em ups have their roots in arcades, munching your quarters as you try to land that final hit on a boss. While this gives a somewhat false sense of difficulty and skill required to best those older arcade games, it occasionally leads modern game designs that hew too close to this mentality to become frustrating and “cheap”, as enemies tend to batter your characters around in ways that you can’t seem to replicate despite a growing list of special moves and skills. Controlwise, River City Girls is mostly fluid, but feels jerky and unresponsive at odd times. Certain areas that require platforming skills can go great on the first try, then poorly on the second, and characters feel very slippery when they land, making it fairly easy to over-correct or under-estimate running jump stopping time. Dashing is also occasionally unresponsive, with characters just seemingly not doing so at times for random reasons.

  The biggest problem with controls, though, is the button mapping for the “all-purpose” button. Like most games, River City Girls has a button that does most of the basic things in the game, like leaving areas, opening fast travel menus, speaking to characters, and entering doors that also happens to be your light-attack button, i.e. the button you are going to press through 95% of the game. The problem with this is that, if your character ends up too close (and we found that “too close” could get ridiculously abstract in some areas) to a door to a shop or another area, your character would simply just duck into that shop or out of the screen entirely as you tried to punch an enemy. This happened so frequently that we started to wonder how this sort of oversight even happened in the first place. While fights can of course take place on any area of the screen, enemies tend to horde around the characters so much and fights get pushed around that it will inevitably happen regardless of how careful you or your partner were to stay away from doors.

    And when I say you will hit that light attack button a lot, I'm not kidding. While you unlock more abilities that can be purchased from the Dojo throughout the game, there’s really not much to combat except repeatedly smashing through your light attack combo strings, occasionally mixing in a harder attack to attempt a juggle or harder knockdown, or even a special ability. But no matter what, enemies are going to fall down anyway, leaving you with few options, as only one attack will hit enemies on the ground, and your only other option is an unlockable grab that turns said enemy into a weapon, but doesn’t actually do any damage to the enemy itself, meaning you still need to wait for them to get back up to keep hitting them.

  Special moves are mapped to one button and a slight combination of directional button presses, but honestly special attacks do so little damage and felt so situational or weak that they don’t feel very useful; by the end of the game, most bosses and enemies simply just blocked them the entire time, or worse immediately interrupted the attack with a simple attack of their own, making the special attacks feel even more useless as they’d likely run the risk of getting you hit instead of doing any damage to the enemy.

    And this, really, is the fatal flaw of River City Girls: the combat isn’t very fun after a while. The system has a lot of promise, and occasionally cool things like juggle combos can be achieved (especially with well timed inputs from your partner, and also if you don’t have a horde of enemies). But usually fights are just mashing light attack, knocking an enemy down, mashing the ground-pound attack, then either resuming your light attack string when enemies get up if stunned, or likely eating a seemingly invincible wake-up attack from the enemy if they aren’t stunned. This is interspersed with the chaos of usually dealing with multiple enemies at the same time; single player enemy counts seem the same as multiplayer, meaning that single players are likely to face even more brutal challenge in the sense that they can’t divide and conquer like co-op can.

  Blocking is slow and somewhat unusual; enemies seemingly have the ability to block whenever they want (for however long they want, too, as we found out in later enemy and boss encounters), but your own blocks are slow to raise and can’t interrupt an enemy combo. If you get hit, you’re getting hit for the entire duration of the combo. Enemies, of course, don’t have these restrictions, and will hit you out of combos or grabs all the time, which becomes even more annoying when grabs are automatic, making your character an accidental sitting duck at times.

    The leveling and stat system would seem to be the way to mitigate this challenge, but to be honest, we were left wondering what the point of the levels and stats even were. Enemies never felt any easier to defeat, and during grinding runs or supply shopping, we found enemies from earlier areas took just as many hits as enemies from later areas, despite our characters being nearly 25 levels higher than when they first encountered these foes. If the stat increases do matter, then they matter in keeping the game “level”, as it seems that enemies grow to match your own stats, but the growth is universal around the game’s entire length. Some enemies also seem to give the same amount of money and experience regardless of where you fight that variety of enemy, so an enemy from the beginning of the game will give the same amount of cash and exp as their variant from the very last area of the game. This makes grinding for money even more tiring than it already is, as there’s no real good place to do so that we could find our our playthroughs of the game, and enemies only drop extra money on occasion if you equip a specific accessory that isn’t found until 3/4ths of the way through the game… Which brings us to the most frustrating thing in the entire game: death.

  Dying in River City Girls steals 50% of the cash your character is carrying, meaning that if you happen to be unable to revive your partner, they’re going to lose 50% of their cash while you desperately try to revive them, and potentially then lose your own 50% in the process. Dying in River City Girls causes a ghost to leave your character’s body, which can only be returned if the other player performs enough ground-pound attacks to stomp the soul back into your corpse. This would be a cute idea if the controls weren’t constantly buffering inputs, leading to hilarious (but frustrating) moments where Kyoko dabs on Misako’s corpse because the player happened to tap a directional button a second before hitting the triangle button. In our playthrough, this happened numerous times, to the point that we started to save scum the game by just quitting out of the game before deaths were recorded, as the game saves when you enter rooms, but not during them.

    At this point, one might expect a mid-review turnaround, where we reveal that the story of the game is a saving grace and worth the time spent on it. Sadly, I have to report that isn’t really the case. In fact, after beating both the game and the secret boss, we found ourselves frustrated by what exactly the narrative WayForward were going for was supposed to mean. Part of the story relies on players knowing the intricate “problems” of Kunio-kun lore, which… isn’t really possible, as most of the games were never officially translated, and some are 30 years old. While the cutscenes in the game dealing with Kyoko and Misako’s friendship are fine, the story isn’t really about that, and the ending left us scratching our heads and somewhat angry and frustrated at the game. I won’t say any more about it, but I’ll just say that we were left feeling flat, and the secret boss ending is just a re-skinned version of the regular ending, meaning nothing changes anyway, making it feel even less fulfilling to have reached that ending after the extra work it required to unlock.

  Beating the game unlocks a few new surprises, namely a Loiter Mode (free roam), New Game+, and two new characters to play through the game with, who do indeed play differently than the main girls, but didn’t change the game enough to make it feel worth it to do it all over again in different skins (the character sprites in shops don’t even change to reflect that you’re playing different characters, still showing Misako and Kyoko instead). If you’re playing on a system with achievements, then there are numerous ones to unlock, adding some extra reasons to take advantage of Loiter mode, but otherwise we didn’t feel any reason to keep playing the game after beating the secret boss.

    "Surely a good boss fight would turn the tide!," I thought. Beat 'em up games feature lots of combat against waves of goons that can be frustrating, but a good boss battle can make all of that struggle worth it. Sadly, I feel the boss fights in River City Girls don’t really live up to that promise, and we found the boss fights becoming worse as the game progressed; each one seems to add a new gameplay mechanic, from bullet hell to a Guitar Hero throwback, which are pretty neat, but pairing said mechanics with clunky and sometimes unresponsive controls left the whole experience go sour. The final bosses were perhaps even worse, because they felt unchallenging and simplistic (we were honestly shocked at how fast we beat both the final and “real” bosses).

  To make matters worse, the current builds of the game had numerous bugs, and we suffered 3 different game crashes while fighting different bosses, causing us to lose progress and the will to continue. This problem is not unique to bosses, sadly; we found that the game is fairly riddled with bugs and glitches: sometimes, we couldn't interact or grab items, characters would get stuck in geometry, and inputs wouldn’t respond as expected. This is even more noticeable on the Switch version of the game, where we noticed not only an increased amount of crashes, but also 5 frames of input delay and a stuttering framerate, which frankly made the game frustrating and somewhat unplayable. When we received the PS4 copy (infinite thanks to WayForward!), we found that these issues of delay and framerate were gone, but different types of glitches and crashes presented themselves instead. The big one being the Abobo boss fight; everytime we fought him, we had the same crash every time, and only actually beat him because the 3rd time it happened, the game didn’t hard crash and managed to continue playing.

    Did we have fun playing River City Girls? The answer is complicated... I’d say that I had fun because it gave me the chance to spend time with my partner and play a game together, and sharing the experience with someone next to me like that frankly is hard to come by in the current gaming market. We both grew up playing games like Golden Axe, Double Dragon, Final Fight and Streets of Rage, so this type of game is something we enjoy being able to play together whenever we can. But does that mean River City Girls gets a pass just because it gave us that opportunity? That’s a harder question to answer... We did enjoy the aesthetics, the music and some of the game's dialogue, but by the end of the game, we were left frustrated by how it all ended. Misako and Kyoko definitely deserve way better than this! At the end of it all, River City Girls managed to ignite our desire to play more beat 'em up games, but that's only to get this bitter experience out of our minds.

  REVIEW ROUNDUP

+ Aesthetics and visuals are colorful, vibrant, and fun.

+ The music is an absolute lifesaver for the game, with lots of great vocal tracks.

+ Kiyoko and Misako are fun characters, and they really deserve a better story. 

+/- Frustrating combat and fights, but does scratch some of that co-op beat-em up itch that is lacking in games today. 

- The story in the game is a dud by the ending, and actively makes the effort put into reaching it feel very worthless.

- Far too many bugs and quality of life issues in a final release of a game that actively impede being able to play the game.

- Switch version has noticeable input delay and framerate issues; one is understandable, the other unforgivable. We suggest avoiding the Switch version at all costs till fixed.  

  Will River City Girls be your first trip to River City? Do you disagree with our review? Let us know what you think of the game in the comments! 

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Nicole is a features writer and editor for Crunchyroll. Known for punching dudes in Yakuza games on her Twitch channel while professing her love for Majima. She also has a blog, Figuratively Speaking. Follow her on Twitter: @ellyberries

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