#BULLSHIT I FEED MYSELF

[mauznsotheraccount]

Me, Myself and I <3

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #ashton irwin #calum hood #luke hemmings #michael clifford #BULLSHIT I FEED MYSELF #Yall this song was just UGHHH #SO SO GOOD #art #drawing #traditional drawing #draw #Spotify

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

job applications: this is entry level! anyone can apply!

job applications: ...as long as you've done at least six months of highly specific work, or have this exact degree, or if you kissed a chicken during the last moon of 2012-

#im back in the trenches bois its Not Looking Great #gonna apply to this stupid thing anyway but #it looks like stockin grocery store shelves is the way im gonna go #unless i get Very lucky or manage to bullshit my way into this job #college isn't necessary but Man a lot of places want you to attend. no <3 #but noooo instead i have to like. work. till i die. and never make enough money to live comfortably. sigh #sometimes i think to myself 'i should make video essays on youtube and see if that goes anywhere' #and sometimes i think 'i should scribble up things that people would buy and make a shop' #and sometimes i think 'what if i killed someone with a stick. would that be fucked up or what' #absolutely unprompted #AGHHHHHHHH THE BOXES WE AS HUMANITY HAVE LOCKED OURSELVES INTO IM GONNA LOSE IT #i was born to be a handsome decoration / weird little artist for eccentric wealthy people #i was meant to drape myself across a beautiful philanthropist woman's lap and doodle lil animals for her #while she rambles and feeds me grapes #yk. if i did make a shop i could have an extra section for small crochet things #coasters. small hand warmers. tiny shapes. simple cat toys. that sorta thing. quick and easy stuff #i could make them w/ specific colors so that they're subtle fandom themed #i literally have a coaster in damian's robin colors... a black/red SB square... #hm. thinking #oh shit i gotta work on that new commission sheet #OH NO. I FORGOR SOMETHING I SHOULD NOT HAVE FORGOR. I HAVE MADE A LITTLE FUCKY WUCKY #excuse me everyone i have something to finish

[fushigurro]

getting satoru to the point where he's begging real nicely for "mommy's pretty pussy" 😵‍💫 doesn't matter if you sit on his cock or his face, he just needs it as soon as possible or he might start crying (if he isn't already)

#rambles. #I'M ON MY BULLSHIT TODAY!! #in my selfship i usually see us as switches #but i simply have to feed myself more of the mommy content i (and anyone else who might crave it) need #and at this point i'm contemplating like..... actual mdlb dynamics for us LOLLLL i'm living in my own little crazy snow globe #somebody come shake me around #cw mommy kink

[delicatepointofview]

it’s funny to me that larries [the ones that seem to care about this, if you don’t this is not for you keep scrolling] keep giving the time of the day to solo harries content creators when they outright want you gone so bad and treat you like the plague and yet content creators out here have to beg you all to give an ounce of support sometimes because you would rather reblog the big blogs content instead <3

#is it some humiliation kink or what? #i know some dont actually realize #but i feel like some are so blatantly obvious #without even checking #dont mind me #i just find infuriating because they act like that #but feed off all of your support on their shit #and pretend they dont see it #while still cursing you off #i'm too petty for this shit #i don't like this type of mistreatment #or mocking #i don't even do the solos dni interact bullshit myself #as long as you don't act like a goddamn weirdo for no reason you're good #i'm sorry i'm in a foul mood im blaming my late ass period #its all coming down to me along with shitty days over and over #so you get me complaining about silly things #[rant over]

[schizoaffectivejacksparrow]

idk if anyone else is talking about this but we just fought for abortion rights in Ohio and they're already fighting to repeal the peoples ability to fight abortion bans here i fucking hate this place

if anyone else knows anything about this or what to do please add to this. ive never made a post like this before but im just so tired and frustrated

#abortion #ohio news #reproductive rights #misogyny #important #im not the most researched in advocacy. lately ive barely been able to shower or feed myself tbh but i wanna get word out about this #i dont want people to just assume Things Are Fine Now and move on when theyre already pulling bullshit

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

youre 15 again and sucked into a multiverse portal that gives you the option to travel to different time periods in the jjk-verse as a budding sorcerer. Do you choose to join the yuuta-maki-panda-toge cohort, or the yuji-megumi-nobara cohort?

or (dramatic gasp) class hakari-kirara?

Yuuta Maki Panda Toge. This has nothing to do with who I want to be friends with, it’s because you do NOT have a very high life expectancy as a jujutsu sorcerer by default and people won’t stop trying to Actually Murder the yuuji megumi nobara cohort. I’m hiding behind the anxious twink with the power of god who flies into a violent murderous rage if you touch his friends. This gives me my best odds.

I’m aware gojo Geto Shoko is not an option you gave me but I couldn’t have done it even if that did give me the ultimate nukes to hide behind. I would have punted Gojo and Geto like a football. One of them would have died. I don’t care if they have the power of god I would have found a way.

#how powerful am I in this scenario it affects my answer #if I’m assuming i don’t have a lot of power backing me then I’m absolutely abusing best friend privileges with Yuuta #I’m going to make myself his emotional support friend and use it to prolong my own survival #this sounds so mercenary I would absolutely love being Yuuta’s friend I think we’d vibe so well #I think I’d get on best with Nanami and Haibara tho out of all the different cohorts #I’d drown teenage gojo #I would loveeee to be friends with nobara megumi and yuuji tho #they seem so fun #see I would hate Sukuna but I have inherent Bitch Instinct which would lead me to compulsively talk shit with him #I’d also do it ABOUT him but you know I’d be bitching out the principal and he’d feed the flames #he’d still kill me but I’d like to think there’d be marginally less gloating while he does it #you put me in the gojo geto cohort and Geto would have never become a cult leader because I would have bullied him too hard for his #philosophy major bullshit

[andromeda3116]

i know that the "adulting sucks" thing has been overdone to the point of obnoxious, but seriously

seriously

adulting fucking sucks

#running the numbers on my budget and calculating how much i can afford per month on things #bc i will likely need a new car soon and i need to figure out what kind of budget i have for it and what my options are #and i get a bill from a doctor's visit in fucking november for almost $150 after insurance payout and my copay and like. #hey i was told on my insurance shit that i would only have a $50 copay! and i had met my deductible! #it legitimately looks like they waited until it rolled over to charge my insurance specifically so i would no longer have met it #like the visit was in november. why did you wait until mid-april to payout? #my insurance rolled over at the beginning of april. huh. what a fucking coincidence. #idk who to call about this but this stinks of bullshit #i should not be owing that money. period. and there is absolutely no excuse for sending me the bill for it eight months later. #and i need to clean my apartment. and i need to feed myself at some point. #and i need to cancel att and set up the comcast internet that's recently been folded into rent as an amenity #i have already gone through and canceled all the subscriptions i don't use #so check that box off #and like. i don't want a roommate and i really am not looking for a relationship with anyone. #but doing all this shit on my own and having to pay every bill on my own and having to do all the cooking and cleaning on my own is just. #exhausting #i am so so tired #and i'm looking at things and i intend to go through online school for a communications degree which will be reimbursed through my job #and there may be a lead position opening up soon which everyone seems to be pushing me towards which would be a title change #and significant raise at the cost of added stress #and i feel like butter spread over too much bread #i need to work anti-burnout measures into my schedule and budget now to get the structure i'll need #but i am already so tired #but i need the raise and i need the degree to gtfo of this career

[netscapenavigaytor]

the stage in a hyperfixation wehre every day you go talk to a friend on the same wavelength of insanity about it as you, and every day emerge from the dms shaking and covered in blood .

#error 0 #literally nothing but evil shit goes on in the interest channels i have with my sibling i stg #for the past week not a single day has gone by without one of us making the other so fucking sad about our jsr hcs. #to say fucking nothing of the darkness that was going on back at the peak of the kirby hypfix. #true ----- veterans remember us talking abt our oc finite as Haha Wacky Cabbit and then like 70% of the art we put out #was alarming eyestrain unreality bullshit that no one had the ----- and pseud context for #i think. most people never even found out all the Finite Deeplore #...hm side note this is maybe the third time ive found myself talking about me and pseud's jsr headcanons and the finiteverse #in the same breath. i hope thats not an omen #kirby is one thing bc kirby has a Lot going on #but a 1-2 year jet set radio hypfix where i get consumed in an ouroboros of my own nonsense? that's scary. #i think it's not super likely though - as stated it's an ouroboros #jsr is so starved of official media and i have a chronic aversion to fancontent #so the moment me and pseud stop feeding into each other's brainrot the fixation is dead in the water #...That Being Said. you never know. bc the finiteverse kept chugging along #even when me and pseud could go months at a time without touching any official kirby content #and honestly the kirby hypfix might have been the START of my fancontent aversion #and things got so scary in the finiteverse. writing a fucking worldbuilding wiki and shit #(never got to a presentable state though) #why am i speculating on the trajectory of my hyperfixations like its a goddamn weather forecast. that wasnt the point of this post #welcome to netscapenavigaytor dot tumblr dot com where i say anything #remember kids. be shameless in talking about your interests or else you will be like me #and just talk AROUND your interests instead of about them

[killbaned]

sorry i'm gonna continue to sound like a broken record for a while but i cannot fucking believe i'm finally fucking free of her. there's still a matter of time of moving and leaving and finally having a true amount of distance but she's no longer my fucking problem i don't have to be on call 24/fucking 7 for her stupid bullshit i GET TO SIMPLY EXIST AS MY OWN PERSON.

#im about to feed/walk the dogs and feed myself and i can just lounge. relax. actually relax. #not sitting around trying to squeeze a modicum of enjoyment out of something on the TV #while waiting for the next time i'm fucking summoned #'i need some more water' #'can you put a movie on' #'can you put a different movie on' #'i muted the TV and can't get it fixed' #'i forgot why i called you' #i can sleep without getting jerked awake for stupid bullshit every few hours #i can sleep on my days off now without multiple people coming and going or dealing with phone calls #coordinating all her goddamn doctors and specialists and everything else #bc she can't be bothered to make her own phone calls

[blackmoldmp3]

i keep being confronted w my old art school work whenever i look at my own blog. dude i couldnt draw

#clown school for real bc i got a degree w that #ok thats being mean to myself i was going thru a truly incredible amount of bullshit on every level #improved by leaps and bounds in a matter of months post graduation bc i was no longer solely responsible for like #feeding myself and doing laundry etc and doing homework

[logarithmicpanda]

.

#ive been having a tough time lately #tonight is particularly bad cause the minute i stop feeding distractions to my brain i start feeling anxious and sad #which means I'm fucking up my sleep schedule and thats not gonna help #but i dont want to sleep because thwt mrans work in the morning and lately work has been a special shade of shit #no crunch or harassment but a special third thing #called im so bored out of my mind I want to scream and every minute lasts an jour #plus the guilt i feel because im not being productive in the way i want to be #its like reverse gaslighting where my coworkers tell me im doing good and being helpful #and my brain is like #okay but these tasks are stupid bullshit i had to drag myself to do in three times what i could have taken if i gave a fucj #and you being happy about my performance makes me lose any respect i have for you or this place hahahahahahahaha #tbd

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#last night i dreamed that i was trapped in my same patterns as i am while awake but the building i work in was bigger #and i was so dizzy and disoriented that i kept stumbling from room to room. up and down stairs. running into people who would stare at me #in confusion until one grabbed me in the way u do when someone is being concerning and incoherent and he made me sit in an auditorium #with a doctor who already knew my name. but then i was back in my messy apartment staring down at a lizard id let die because id forgotten #to feed it. part of my brain was in contact with my mum and she said i should come home so i did. i appeared there but i seemed somewhat #transparent. liked id been there a long time so no one noticed my being there was out of place. they were there but doing other things #i wandered into a room where some ppl i knew from hs were performing surgery. i went to wash my hands and the soap came out as blood #my sister tolerated my presence. which is out of character. she seemed to sense something was wrong. then i walked back into my current #apartment halfway across the country. caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror and became transcendently angry #uneasy dreams. but at least i didnt have to get up at 6. i mean i still only got like 7hrs sleep at most but better than 6 i guess #its probably bc i spent so much time hysterically crying and staring off into space yesterday. by the end of the day i felt so awful i #wondered if i might b getting sick. dizzy in that way thats not quite dizzy #but today should b pretty laid back. still doing things but probably ill hace time to get some non work bullshit #done. hopefully. then its back to 11hr days until Monday #then the experiment is over and i havr to deal with the consequences. and finish my other destructive project #which has at least 11 days left #well see what happens 🫠 #unrelated

[fencesandfrogs]

Oh sbit wait my brain is doing bullshit

#mine #disorderposting #it’s time for Matthew’s fucking weekly actually I have ocd and should repeatedly expose myself to my fears thing #is it weekly? #i don’t keep track #but it feels like I’m going down this bullshit line again #and I don’t feel like it #i don’t feel like feeding into my least favorite cycle #am I gonna? we’ll see

[hippienaturedruiddad]

god I've had a real weird week. I finished my BA in April and haven't managed to muster up the courage and energy to go job hunting since then, and have just fallen deeper and deeper into a depressive episode with each passing day. and then on wednesday evening my dentist (also a neighbour and friend of my family) suddenly called me because her receptionist quit out of the blue so she urgently needs a replacement and asked me if I'd like the job. so I went back to my parents' town today, met up with her after dinner to talk and then we went to her practice and she showed me the general gist of what I'd need to do. and now I'm gonna move back in with my parents and start working for her full-time in just over a week.

#gotta love working a barely over minimum wage job as a receptionist when I have a BA in computer science #and a mild-moderate phobia of strangers and phone calls #but my mental health won't let me do any job hunting so I had to say yes when i got offered a job on a silver platter #even if it's just temporary it'll probably help me get back on my feet and sort out my brain until i feel good enough to find a CS job #and living with my parents for a while is probably gonna be very beneficial too #when my roommate is gone and I'm home alone I just get so down that I can't do any housework and barely eat anything for days on end #so at least when I'm with my parents they'll make sure I eat somewhat properly and won't let me get away without doing any chores #but yeah it's been a weird few days and it's probably gonna be a few weird months while I work there #irl bullshit #cw ed mention #kinda? #it's not really an ed i think i just don't have the energy to feed myself properly most days

[puppysynonym]

parents: you should stand up for yourself more!

me: *stands up for myself*

parents:

parents: not like that

#i dont actually fucking care if the stuff my brother says is meant to get a reaction out of me or if its his real beliefs #i dont fucking care i dont #because when he calls me a queer in a derogatory way and my parents dont do anything it doesnt actually matter if he believes in what hes #saying or not #its still fucking homophobic/transphobic and youre LETTING HIM SAY THAT NASTY SHIT TO ME #YOU ARE FAILING ME AS MY PARENTS WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME #AND YOU TELL ME TO STAND UP FOR MYSELF BUT WHEN I DO IM THE ONE WHO GETS IN TROUBLE FOR LETTING HIM 'get under my skin' OR FOR BEING #'too sensitive' #FUCK YES IM BEING SENSITIVE #my own flesh and blood is acting like im the scum of the earth and telling me to kill myself #but nooooooo im just 'feeding into his bullshit' when i get angry #not fair #moth.txt #vent in tags #vent #also literally remembering that after having someone say something nasty to me about my appearance he told me he would never stand up for #me if he heard someone being homophobic or transphobic towards me #which was great #like thats man that brings me soooo much faith that the stuff you say to me is DEFINITELY all a joke and not at all serious

[orcelito]

#speculation nation #ya boi did not do any of their assignment last night. lol #so i have to do that AND worry about my manager meeting... #AND i have to feed myself????? bullshit #why must life be so hard & my dishes so not done