#BEFORE ANYONE YELLS AT ME

[rider-on-a-white-horse]

Lucifer was going to kill him.

There's no question about it; he's definitely screwed.

What exactly was Death going to do that would anger his brother so much? That's easy.

He had to reap his niece. Death feared for his life.

His brother's mob of adopted children had far too many close calls with him for anyone's comfort, but this was not that. No, this was the natural end of a rather unnaturally long life. (Not that anyone had done this on purpose, of course. But Reality bent to the Morningstar family quite willingly.)

“Hello, Uncle. I wondered how long it would be until you came for me.”

“YOU COULD HAVE MUCH LONGER IF YOU WISHED.”

“I've already had long enough, Uncle. I'm ready.”

“IS YOUR FATHER? HAVE YOU TOLD HIM?”

“Pah, Lucifer tends to panic about this sort of thing. I didn't want to worry him.”

“AND SO YOU WOULD RATHER WORRY ME. HE WILL HAVE MY SKULL FOR THIS, YOU KNOW.”

“He won't do anything of the sort. Not if he doesn't want me to haunt him for ages.”

“I STRONGLY BELIEVE HE WOULD NOT MIND THAT.”

“I'd help Jay with their glitter.”

“HE WOULD MIND THAT.”

A laugh turns into a cough and a bony hand comes up to pat a withered back. 

“Uncle?”

“YES?”

“How much time is left?”

An hourglass is pulled out of long dark robes. The carvings on the wood are elaborate, filled with imagery of Heaven, Hell, and Earth. It is also, inexplicably, covered in glitter.

Only a few grains of sand remain in the top. As the last remaining grains fall, Death hesitates. She can see this, of course. She's seen the same expression on her siblings countless times when they don't want to do something they have to.

“Did you bring the sword or the scythe?”

“THE SCYTHE. IT FELT APPROPRIATE.”

“Damn. The sword is way cooler. Could I see it?”

Death pulls his scythe out and is met with the same oohs and aahs that one would expect from a child seeing a dinosaur for the first time.

“I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING, CHILD.”

“Is it helping?”

“A LITTLE.”

The last grain of sand falls from the hourglass, and a blade sharper than anything is swung with perfect aim.

“I still think the sword would have been cooler.”

“HOW DO YOU FEEL?”

“I'm dead, Uncle.”

“YOUR FATHER IS GOING TO KILL ME.”

“No he won't. He knew full well that I was mortal. And it's not like it's your fault. You're just doing your job. You didn't kill me anymore than he did.”

“THIS IS WHY YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVORITE.”

“Ha! I'm gonna tell Jay you said that.”

“PLEASE DO NOT. THAT ONE SCARES ME.”

“Jay scares everyone, calm down. And you’re their uncle too. Everyone knew this would happen at some point, I don’t know why you’re so worried.”

“CHILD, ARE YOU AWARE OF HOW MANY SUPERNATURAL BEINGS ARE GOING TO HUNT ME DOWN FOR THIS? THERE’S YOUR FATHER, THE LEGION -”

“You mean Eric.”

“YES, THE LEGION. JAY, EDREK, MINNIE -”

“I’m sorry, you think Minnie is going to hunt you down? Uncle, come on now, be serious.”

“I DO NOT LIKE TO UPSET THEM. IT MAKES ME FEEL BAD.”

“You and me both.”

“NOT TO MENTION THAT ARCHANGEL THAT IS SO FOND OF YOU.”

“Uncle, I know full well that you know Uriel’s name.”

“I HAVE NO DESIRE TO INVOKE THEIR NAME AND SUMMON THEM.”

“Fine. So, how does this work? I love you, but I don’t think that the afterlife is an endless gabfest with Death.”

“IT IS NOT. I AM SUPPOSED TO ESCORT YOU TO YOUR PLACE OF ETERNAL REST, EITHER HEAVEN OR HELL.”

“Okay, so which am I going to?”

“WELL -”

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“YOU HAVE SPENT YOUR LIFE IN A CONTRACT WITH LUCIFER.”

“He adopted me, I didn’t sell my soul to him. And I thought the rules were changed after all the shit with Enoch.”

“THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT HEAVEN LOOKS UPON IT WITH MUCH MORE FAVOR.”

“Okay, well, I can deal with Hell. I haven’t kept up with all the updates Jesus has made in the past few decades, but I’m sure it can’t be too bad. It’s not like I’d be sent to one of the worse Hell Loops.”

“DO YOU WANT YOUR FATHER TO KILL ME? NO, I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE YOU TO HELL. I VALUE MY EXISTENCE FAR TOO MUCH FOR THAT.”

“Uncle, you’re not making any sense. I’m not welcome in Heaven, you’re not taking me to Hell, what else is there? Being a ghost? I don’t want that.”

“I COULD TAKE YOU TO HEAVEN. I DO NOT KNOW THAT THEY WOULD ACCEPT YOU. BUT WE CAN TRY.”

“Alright, we can try. Could I say goodbye to everyone first? If Heaven does accept me, I’d like to talk to Dad again first.”

“OF COURSE.”

A spectral hand holds a skeletal one, and the two of them vanish, off to say one last round of goodbyes. 

#BEFORE ANYONE YELLS AT ME #this is not meant to be part of the rp #i just had an idea and wanted to write it #i'm not killing off abby #no one start worrying #the fourth horsemen #abby morningstar #morningstar family #good omens rp #my writing

[hunter-the-sad-skeleton]

*Twirls hair in finger* So there’s this autobot~(Reblogs appreciated!)

#Tfa oc #my art #tfa au #my au #my oc #Broadcast #I'm. Down bad for this guy- #Definitely gonna selfship with this guy later- #BEFORE ANYONE YELLS AT ME #YES #HE LOOKS LIKE STANLEY IN THE FACE #BUT THAT'S BECAUSE I THINK IT LOOKS NEAT AND I WANTED TO IMPLIMENT IT INTO MY ART. #DON'T YELL AT ME ABOUT IT PLEASE. #THANKS #Anyways uh #this guy won me over immediately-

[thesillygoosetapes]

Maybe if we bully Jeff Davis hard enough we can get Arden and Dylan back. Not sure if it’ll work

#teen wolf movie #before anyone yells at me #let me explain #they’re using stiles’ and Kira’s plot line from the show as the main plot line for the movie #without…the two in it…. #again make it make sense Jeff

[elliesgaymachete]

All the articles talking about how the marvels had the lowest box office opening of any marvel movie conveniently forget to mention that it’s the ONLY marvel movie to come out in the midst of an actors strike and didn’t get any of the press that all the other movies would have gotten 🙃

#before anyone yells at me i know the strike ended like the day it came out but press typically happens in the weeks BEFORE the release #anyway #sometimes i care about marvel when they make stuff that isn’t just about white dudes #kamala may honestly be my favorite mcu character #bc mcu ruined america chavez 😔 #the marvels

[hotpotghosts]

#chilaios #succubus!chilchuck #dungeon meshi spoilers #only bc I’m about to yell in my own tags about the succubus chapter #idk something about laios’ choking succubus marcille and immediately panicking and without hesitation thinking that he has to kill her #before anyone sees is just yeah I can blend that up into chilaios yeah #like yeah what if the succubus’ choice of person was dead on #they DO say they read the minds of the person to create their max desire and marcilles elf prince one talking + laios’ having monster #knowledge means that i can make succubus!chil a lil mean as a treat bc he knows laios is into chil #also i think it’s unclear here but I think it’d be neat if the succubus have insect eye reflection givin them that lil non human touch #maybe I’ll draw something making that more clear later #ALSO idk what to tag this yall do people use tumblr tags to filter content or would putting warning tags on this just make it breach #containment? if anyone wants anything tagged specifically in the future just drop me an ask i guess #also I’m going to write this as fic I swear but drawing is so much faster #ghostmakestuff

[convolutedblasphemy]

Allos in fandoms will say two men who used to drink tea under the moonlight together in a past life, wear matching accessories and were shown to deeply care about each other once upon a time are canonically gay because "friends don't do these things" but if a confirmed asexual character is repeatedly shown as uninterested in sex or romance in the source material AND the promotional material it's "ambiguous" and "unclear whether this character is aromantic or on which part of the spectrum he lies".

#yes this is about honkai star rail and hazbin hotel respectively #two sides of the fandom amatonormativity coin #before anyone yells at me this isn't me saying all ships with alastor should be banned #but we should very much examine why this double standard exists and y'all aren't going to like the answer #hazbin hotel #hazbin #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #the radio demon #aroace alastor #media literacy is dead

[dragon-spaghetti]

The headcanons got to me 🥲

(Please click for better quality!!)

#drag's art #the amazing digital circus #tadc #tadc jax #tadc queenie #i want to know more about her 😭 #when did she abstractttt #so anyways have doodle #(I have drawn kinger already before anyone yells @ me I just didn't post him 💀)

[deep-space-lines]

look, I love Garrus but his ME1 characterization makes me wanna do this to him

#mass effect #my art #mass effect art #mass effect fanart #artists on tumblr #garrus vakarian #commander shepard #any time i see anyone saying they wished they could romance him in 1 or that shepard liked him already in 1 i’m like #i respect your opinion but i cannot relate #ME1 garrus is the dumbest fucker in the world #my shepard is too busy yelling at him #don’t get me wrong i still romance him every time. #but he needs to go into the blender and get a few stern lectures before he’s boyfriend material #men will literally become vigilantes instead of going to therapy #straka's shitposts

[nicollekidman]

can we return to the joe alwyn enforced era of obfuscation and metaphor bc i’m dying to know less about the details of her life i’m trying to hear impactful imagery.

#literally the people are asking for the noseless man and the plucky girl.. #before anyone yells at me all her original work was also like this i’m just being silly #taylor swift

[disgustinggf]

he's so wholesome i might as well give him some holes

#just a shitpost this isn't abt anyone before someone yells at me lmao #txt #anyway i'm sorry for this #♡

[liyazaki]

make me choose: porsche AND kinn

APO NATTAWIN as Porsche Pachara

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #mileapo #kinn x porsche #kp edit #he's beauty- he's (dis)grace- he's never not serving face #before anyone yells at me- y'all didn't have to send identical asks but you DID & that's on you 😌 #THANK YOU ama for the adjective brainstorming! #apo nattawin #mile phakphum #tonanons #userjap #usernuria #uservik #tosnimeat #vishingwell #kinnporschesource #asiandramanet #asianlgbtqdramas #kinnporsche*

[ganondoodle]

i have grown kinda tired of all the studio ghibli and totk comparisons bc i love most of miyazakis movies and its so annoyingly obvious that if totk actually took inspiration from them its all just the surface level aesthetic and none of the good story telling

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #like yeah i see how ashitakas arm and how he got it hurt looks similar to how link “”“”“loses”“”“” his arm in totk #but ashitakas wound is a curse of hatred from a deity that protected their forest from humans destroying it to get to the iron in the earth #and the deity - whos a BOAR- got wounded so badly the pain and fear of death turned him into a demon of hatred #while the poeple wanting the iron are also just doing it for their own survival #like man i fukcing WISH totk had any of the storytelling that princess mononoke had #them seemingly jsut taking the aesthetic from it but none of the story is even more infuriating to me tbh #princess mononoke is one of my all time favorite movies #maybe thats another reason why im so disgruntled about totk #bc it reminds me of things i love -zelda and mononoke- and turning it both bad #before the game was out the comparisons from link to ashitaka was pretty much in every second theory video #abd even then i was skeptical bc i doubted they could make in any way a story as good as that #welp :)))) #anyway #old man yells at cloud lol #(this is not directed at anyone directly btw- i just keep running into even now and been feeling this way for a long time- )

[carlyraejepsans]

something something undertale establishing laughter/humor as a way to disguise helplessness. something something sans' character being built up as a prankster and a comedian. something something the moment where we see him laugh the most (both in dialogue and in sprite) is the genocide fight....

something something

#he grimaces and yells too don't get me wrong but especially when things start to get dire there. his laughing headsprite pops up #or he's winking #or he's straight up chuckling #like right before the fight after he asks if anyone can be a good person. and to say it all #i say chuckling because that's likely what toby intended. and that's how i read it too at first! undertale isn't an audio medium #not where character voices are concerned most of the time #but then i listened to this dub of the scene by timber puppers on youtube and he starts off pretty regularly. more sombre but still his #slightly goofy voice. and then he pauses. and he LAUGHS. frome wheezing to full throated down to a quiet chuckle #and it's... literally reshaped the way i conceptualized that scene. the rest of the dub is fine it's obviously quality #but that LAUGH. #is just. on another level. man #undertale #sans #metanalysis

[brucewaynehater101]

I hate Bruce and I hate Joker.

However, their relationship is so fucking compelling that it's maddening. I want them both to die.

This is a semi-rant, semi-analysis and most definitely not 100% correct. It's more speculation than concrete fact/characterization on Bruce's part.

Joker has a one-sided toxic obsession with Batman. He wants Bruce to beat the shit out of him before returning him to Arkham. He wants to watch as Bruce decends further and further into madness as he grips onto his moral code of "no killing" as if it's the last lifeline he has. Joker is kicking his feet giddy as he watches Batman make excuses after excuses of why every action of his BUT murder is justified. Bruce falls further and further into being an abusive asshole, and Joker is so fucking happy about it. How far can Joker push and torment the Dark Knight until he finally just snaps? It's such a delectable mystery and experiment that Joker is testing on Batman, the "hero" to save Gotham. How far will he fall? How far will he go?

Will killing his son finally cause him to cross the line? Paralyzing his friend's daughter (Barbara [Joker didn't know she was Batgirl])? Killing hundreds of people? What will cause Batman to finally stop Joker for good?

On the flip side, Batman despises Joker with all of his being. He wants nothing more than to obliterate that monster until he is nothing but ash. He can't, though. Is getting rid of Joker truly worth letting go of that final moral line?

At least, that's what Bruce tells himself. He tells himself that he throws Joker in Arkham, not in the Watchtower prisons or the phantom zone or other more secure facilities, because that's the morally correct decision. The court of law, even incorrectly, deduced Joker was legally insane. This, legally, makes Joker not responsible for his actions. It doesn't matter that any hack with a law book could see that Joker doesn't qualify for the insanity plea. It doesn't matter that Gotham's legal system is known for being corrupt. It doesn't matter that Joker breaks out frequently. Joker was declared insane.

Bruce doesn't change the status quo, and he tells himself this is the way it must be. He makes sure to tell everyone around him as well. It's the way it always has been and Bruce is too far into his mistakes to correct it now (if Bruce changes Joker's situation now, does that make all of Joker's victims Bruce's as well? Is he responsible for their deaths due to his negligence and, at times, protection of Joker?).

After a while, one starts to wonder why Batman won't come up with permanent solutions for Joker. He has contingency plans for every hero and villain out there. Unlike some of the other villains, Joker is easily accessible. Batman could lock him in a more secure prison, destroy his ability to commit crime (as he did to Jason), or kill him. He has options.

He doesn't utilize them, though. In fact, he's even brought Joker back to life a few times.

It makes one wonder if he keeps Joker around for selfish reasons. Does he want to feel useful? Does he want an avenue to express the anger and hate burning inside him? Is he too deep in past mistakes to admit his wrongs?

Anyways, fuck Bruce and fuck Joker. I hope they both rot in hell as the worst couple to exist (not talking about Lego Batman, though. They are pretty cute in that).

#batman #dc joker #bruce wayne #bruce wayne bashing #i posted a warning at the top so hopefully no one yells at me for “incorrect characterizations” on bruce or whatever #idk if anyone would get mad but please read my username before yelling at me for hating on bruce #but also fuck bruce wayne #if he can rewire his son's brain he can fucking kill the joker #at what point is murder a mercy instead? the point in which you risk completely changing a person to “help” them for your agenda #if he is still clinging onto “murder is wrong but mentally torturing kids is fine” then he could at least secure joker up better

[clairenatural]

the thing about deancas is it IS all encompassing no other couple CAN come close. I'm a fan of plenty of other media with fan-favorite but not (yet) canon ships and I watch them like aw yeah I see it :) they would be cute. they should get married :) but it's not like???? when dean and cas look at it other I want to pause and rewind 500 times and analyze every angle and force anyone watching with me to listen to my analysis of how they've been in love for 10 years. every other couple feels very much like a standard fun ship, they'd be cute together, etc. dean and cas have been in love for a decade and I need everyone to understand that or I'm going to explode

#this sounds unwell from the outside and it IS but also. you know???? #the hellers who get it get it #im aware people react like this to their favorite ships in other media that's fine but these two weird little guys are the only ones for me #spirk comes close but that's bc they're the blueprint #also before anyone yells at me deancas IS canon but it usually gets compared to other mlm ships that are not #i had one in mind when i wrote this but i dont want to get cancelled

[darkgifted]

obsessed with the fact that in most rpgs, the "good" companion endings usually involve you helping them get what they want

whereas in bg3 the good ending for characters usually means steering them away from what they want, because it isn't actually good for them, even at the cost of them never feeling the warmth of the sun again

#before someone yells at me yes i know this isnt always the case #like me2 deals a lot with steering companions away from vengeance #but sorry yall i just dont think anyones doing it quite like larians doing it!! #like the WORST possible thing you could do to poor fucking gale is encourage him to grasp at godhood and sorry shadowheart but fuck shar #girl you dont want to be a dark justiciar you have so much more to offer the world than shars retribution #ascended astarion never escapes the horrific cycle hes been trapped in etc etc #sometimes loving someone (platonically or romantically) means telling them *no this isnt good for you*