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iamamythologicalcreature · 9 months

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Can I be real for a second?

I’ve gone back and forth in my head about whether or not to post about this very real side of me online or not. There’s nothing shameful about being disabled, but I don’t want to be known as my disability, either. I don’t want that to be my identity.

But I’m hoping to post some of my writing tomorrow for Six Sentence Sunday. Post something I’ve written, albeit just a small bit, online where anyone can see it. It will be the first time I’ve done so since the car accident three years ago. And the truth is, the terrible truth is, my writing is what hurts the most.

Stories have always been a part of my life. They have always been my motivation, why I slogged through everything else - my reason for existing. I wrote novels and hoped to publish, and I fell in love with the writing community and made it my home. I volunteered and organized events. I created an extremely successful and fulfilling teen writing club where I taught creative writing. I was in love with stories, and writing them. I have never not been in love with stories.

(Before I was a writer I was an artist. I’m not going to go into that part of my life in detail, but it was just as heavily affected.)

At the beginning of 2020 I was in a car accident. The driver at fault was pulling out of a bar parking lot in the middle of the day. Make of that what you will. The accident he caused left me with more than a few issues, but for this post I’m focusing on the vision impairment.

Because of COVID, I wasn’t able to seek any diagnosis or treatment until June. I didn’t even begin physical therapy until August. Due to a myriad of issues and unfortunate reasons, I couldn’t complete my treatment. That meant a year and a half of work and struggle went down the drain.

This continues to affect me in many ways. Sometimes it’s things that you might expect - I can’t read Tumblr, or books, most days. Some limitations are less obvious, like how I’m afraid to ask questions (e.g. “what kind of car did Fiona drive?”) because the resources to find the answers myself are out there. Why don’t I just google it? Or reference that amazing spreadsheet someone did? Why am I asking other people to do the work for me? Am I just lazy?

People don’t mean to judge (and I’m sure there are plenty who don’t). But my issues aren’t apparent, so they won’t know unless I take the time to explain it. Able-eyed people should be able to find these simple answers. Just look in the book.

So I don’t ask. Or I apologize a lot for asking. Because it’s just too hard to explain why I need such basic help. (And sadly, some people still don’t believe me and treat me as thought I’m making excuses.)

I lost most of my friends simply for being unable to chat online, particularly during lockdown. I kept three people in my life - the three people willing to break with their comfort zones and talk to me on the phone instead of via text or chat. Those people probably saved my life. I know everyone went through isolation issues in 2020. But I went through them unable to even use a computer or read a book.

Since I’m typing this, you can guess that I’ve recovered somewhat, or made some accommodations that help. Yes. I have. Both of those. But I still have more bad days than good. Typing too long, or playing a phone game, surfing Tumblr - anything done for too long can break my eyes and send me back into total isolation for days.

I was a really good writer. I would regularly write 10-20k every weekend, and I wrote well. I wrote great stuff. (Rough drafts are always rough drafts, but I felt good about what I wrote.) I would sink into a character and go for hours.

Here’s the part that’s relevant to me now: I can’t do that anymore. I can’t write for hours, I can’t take the time to slip into character. I’m doing really well if I can pound out a speedy 1k in 30 minutes and have it not break my eyes. (It usually breaks my eyes.)

If you’re a writer, though - or any kind of creative - you know that the need doesn’t just go away.

(I have tried to record notes on my phone, but I just cannot dictate writing fiction. Only my fingers know how to speak well, and in character. And no, I’m not going to learn braille. It would not be helpful.)

So I’m going to try to write. It’s going to suck, because the things I did to write well before are things I can’t do anymore. I will cry. And then I will wait a week or however long it takes for my eyes to chill the fuck out, and I’ll try again.

(I’ve also started treatment again, just this month. I have to start at square one again, which means it will get worse before it gets better. It will take time, and money - lots of both. Like years. But I can’t give up.)

Anyway. This is why I chose the Simon Snow fandom to try again, for the first time in forever. Because that’s the story, and those are the characters, and these are the people. I know it. So. Hi.

#this is real #some real me stuff in between the fun fandom fluff #reality of disability #actually disabled #vision impairment #keep on #carry on #simon snow series #fandom community #open for voice chat cause really...#questions accepted here #gulp here I go posting now

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3cremepie3 · 2 years

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𝑬𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚

Smut 18+

Kobeni x fem reader

Filming, humiliation, degradation, use of sex toys, sub/ dom dynamics

“Isn’t that place for lovers?” Kobenai was puzzled as to why you asked her to go to HeartLand with her. “I seen friends go in here together plenty of times not just couples.” So what do you say?”

“Yes of course,” she exclaimed. Kobenai didn’t even know you saw her as a friend because she was too afraid to ask you even though you’ve been roommates for months. She was also too afraid to ask you out. Preferably to the very same amusement park.

But fate must have touched your mind somehow. She had always been a coward her whole life. Letting people degrade her and boss her around. She hated it wanting to free herself from those very things. That’s why she moved with you once she saw the available space.

She didn’t know moving with you would stir up feelings. One day after she went into your room to ask you a question she stumbled on something she wasn’t supposed to see. Strapped to your chair was a 10-inch dildo recently used. And open on your computer tab was a Tumblr post.

What she read had her dumbfounded. It was a post written about how you would love to degrade a willing sub into submission until they break. She exited your room before you came out of the bathroom ready to clean up your mess.

Ever since then after she came home from her late shift she would creep towards your room. Just to see your creaming pussy riding on the girthy dildo. She would fall to her knees and touch herself to you writing all of your filthy thoughts as you came undone. She always disappeared before you noticed her or so she thought.

Flash forward since you guys got to HeartLand late in the day you decided to stay in your motel. Hearts motel would have to do instead of the luxury hotels the amusement park carried since you two had a limited budget.

The motel room was amazing chocolate flavored condoms in every corner and the actual candy. A big heart bed there was nothing more y’all could ask for. Except for people your age to not have the same idea.

Since they all came to motels instead you would hear all their groans and moans through the walls. “Um, I’m gonna go in the hot tub for a little while I’ll see you.” Kobenai slipped out leaving you shocked.

Your plan to spend a romantic night at HeartLand had failed. See after she snuck into your room you snuck in hers reading through some notes tabs she had opened. They were surprisingly innocent compared to Kobeni who you thought was just a raging hormone in a young woman's body. They talked about plans for you two to get married and go to HeartLand for your honeymoon.

So you tried to make the plan come true bringing her here and hoping she’ll get so flustered to the point where she would have confessed her feelings for you. But she had just left out hearing all the lovemaking through the walls and seeing Kobeni’s flustered face had you horny.

She would be in the tub for while you figured so you had time for a quick play session.

Kobenai walked to the pool and hot tub area and saw that the gate was locked at 10:00. It was 10:05. She was upset that she just missed the pool but went upstairs anyway. Maybe this was a sign to spend time with you. While In the middle of kicking off her flip-flops and turning the door handle she stopped. She was hearing strange noises.

She listened closer hearing moans and groans coming from you. She knew these very well since she was such a pervert always spying on you. Your strained voice brought her out of her thoughts. “Kobeni!” She swears she heard you moan. She froze staying at the door. “I know your out there baby come on help me I know you’d love to.”

She would love to go in there and ravish your body until your brain was mush but she couldn’t. Or so she thought her body moved on her own opening the door to reveal you all sloppy looking your clothes half off.

“Um,” you began to say. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner Y/n.” She was shocked if only had she acted on her feelings and she was less of a coward you wouldn’t have had to wait for so long.

“It’s not okay,” you pouted. “Get over here,” you demanded. “I happen to know a way you could make playing with my feelings up to me.”

“I’ll do anything,” she confessed. “I take you up on that.”

“Now come one bend over and show the camera how wet you are.” She bent over face down ass up exposing her drooling pussy. “Take the rest of your swimsuit off,” you commanded. She peeled the rest of her swimsuit on revealing the rest of her petite figure.

“Now do what I asked as I sit back and relax or else you’ll get punished.” Yes, mom-my.” She stuttered on the last part not wanting to call you such a dirty name. Or you should be the one calling her that. She sat in the cowgirl position grinding on a dildo you brought just to use on her.

“Good girl,” you hummed. She rubbed up and down on the plastic her eyes rolling as it hit her clit. You sat in an armchair with a vibrator rubbing against your folds.

“Start speaking now,” you dictated. “Yes.” She sunk down on the dildo her eyes rolling to the back of her head. “Come on take it all or do you need some help.”

“I can do it.” She insisted coming all the way off just to impale the thick shaft into her body. She screamed not being used to such a thick size. “Mmm that’s a good girl,” you hummed.

“Now why don’t you start the confession.” O-okay I will.” You looked delectable your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you turned up your setting. She wanted so badly to finish you off but she wasn’t allowed to touch you. Or herself the only thing that was allowed was her grinding on the dildo.

“Y/n!” I’ve been in love with you for mon-ths Ahh!” You turned the vibrations in her dildo on. “I write in my journal about how much I love you every night.” I just can’t help it your sooo- mmm shit.” Amazing!” Kobeni’s legs began to shake her slight pain turning all the way to pleasure.

“I want to cum to you.” No, I didn’t mean it like that.” I want to say I love you so much!” Her tongue fell out of her mouth as she creamed all over the dildo. It still vibrated in her as she fell over.

You turned your vibe off you got up off the chair your legs still wobbly. “What a sweet confession right you guys.” You laughed at the camera. “If only you were completely honest you could have gotten off the hook,” you hissed.

“Wait what,” she questioned. Before she could do much of anything you crawled to her sucking hickeys all over her neck and then to her sweet spot.

“Aww your so sensitive,” you snickered. “Stop all this teasing please!” Just let me touch you L/n.” Hmm let me think about that,” you pondered.

“No.” She whined as you began to rub her hardened nipples. You took one of them into your mouth swirling your tongue around it as your other hand pinched her other bud.

She couldn’t take the torture anymore she needed to touch you at least.

You grabbed her hand bringing it away from your body. You looked back to the camera. “Look she can’t even go a couple of minutes without touching me what a whore.”

She whined at your harsh words feeling turned on by them. “We’ll you failed already.” Let’s begin with the punishment.”

You pulled some handcuffs from the red nightstand. They were cute bedazzled in red diamonds. But they looked even cuter when they locked Kobeni's hands to the bed frame.

A/n: I’ll make a part 2 I enjoyed this!! I support a secret dom Kobeni!!

#chainsaw man #chainsaw man smut #chainsaw smut #cw edging #cw filmed sex #tw degradation #kobeni #kobeni smut #3creampie3 #heartland #anime smut #anime #wlw smut #lesbian smut #csm smut #csm part 2 #csm x reader

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7serendipities · 1 year

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Dryads and Wood-Wives: A Question of Categorization

I got an interesting question on tumblr last week, and while I’m not going to copy the entire thing over here, nor my entire rambling response, I thought it brought up two important worldview questions that might illuminate my practice a bit for ya’ll, and may help out others who are new to walking the path of a fairy witch.

The first question was, basically: is a Germanic wood-wife the same thing as a Greek dryad? Are these just two names for the same exact thing? On the surface, it does sort of seem that way; they’re described in very similar terms. But one of the trickiest things about the realms of Fairy (and one that I think is the hardest for people to wrap their heads around) is that we can’t cleanly separate fairies into specific species. There’s a lot of evidence in the Scottish Witch Trial manuscripts that the difference between a devil and an imp and a fairy and an elf was pretty much a difference of attitude, and that the same being might be called two or more of these terms even by the same person.(1) And there’s plenty of folkloric evidence that these beings can change their appearance, or at least deceive our senses. So we just can’t quantify and identify them as we do with animals and plants, and just because they seem similar doesn’t necessarily mean they are the same.

On top of that, we have to add the complexities of culture - both ours and theirs. I think it’s reasonable to say that some of the Fair Folk seem to have a sort of symbiotic relationship with nearby humans, to the point that there’s some cultural bleed between the two groups.(2) So it would make sense to me that the dryads would have more Greek sensibilities and prefer offerings of common Greek foodstuffs, whereas wood-wives would have more Germanic sensibilities and prefer more common Germanic foodstuffs - and that seems to be born out in the folklore about what to offer and how to give it. So it doesn’t make sense to me to try and force a pattern on that - there’s no way to reduce them all, to the point where you can say “all feminine forest spirits should be offered [some kind of food]”. I think it’s better to just not worry about whether wood-wives and dryads are the same “species” and instead of highlighting the similarities, learn about the differences, so that you don’t accidentally offend anyone.(3) When I encounter new beings in the landscape, either Over Here, or Over There, as I’m going about my business, one of the things I ask is what they call themselves - not their Name or even name, but what type of a being they want me to know them as. They are usually willing to either show or tell me enough that I can at least figure out what paradigm will work best in my interactions with them, and I then move forward treating them as the folklore surrounding that being suggests that I should.(4)

That brings me to the second question: do fairy beings travel to places other than where their original folklore is from? I think they do. I think it would be strange to think that only humans travel across our world, when plants and animals have done their best to migrate (with and without our help) as well. I also think that the symbiosis I spoke about in the last section plays a roll, but this time on a more macro scale. I’ve heard stories of brownies and nisser traveling with their families on boats to the Americas, and there are stories of fairy beings being “chased out” of certain areas (often by Christian priests). I don’t think it’s a stretch to think that some of them might’ve come that way to the Americas or Australia or wherever. Personally, I’ve met a lot of fairy beings who, when I ask them what type of being they are, identify themselves as something from European folklore. Near where I live, it’s been mainly beings known from Celtic or British or Germanic cultural folklore, and I think that makes sense given the colonial history of this area. (I’ve met some indigenous otherworldly beings as well, but they’re usually fairly shy, and so far none of them are specifically symbiotic to the indigenous cultures of that side of my family, but I’m nowhere near the traditional homelands, either.) I wouldn’t be super surprised, either, to find beings from Central American or Islamic or Korean folklore nearby, either, considering the current demographics of the area, but I also can’t say that I would necessarily recognize them if I did, as I’m not as well versed in those. Generally though, I think it’s not impossible to find beings from any culture that is currently represented in your area or has ever lived there, because these beings are usually believed to be both powerful and long-lived, and it’s therefore a good idea to just learn as much as you can about anyone you might encounter.

When I ask fairy-like otherworldly beings(5) what kind of a being they are, I’m not looking to categorize them, to check them off in a field guide, or to decide what “species” they belong to - I’m trying to gain context. How they present themselves tells me a little about their expectations, their likes and dislikes, and their sensibilities. And then I’ll use that information, and offer Dryads clean water, diluted wine, and olive oil, and offer wood-wives bread or other things made of grain, and perhaps a bit of milk. I’m a witch looking to create relationships, not a scientist trying to answer questions that might just be unanswerable.

See Emma Wilby’s Cunningfolk and Familiar Spirits (Sussex Academic Press, 2005), and Seo Helrune (www.seohelrune.com) has talked about the same in the Nordic sphere, with alfe vs jotnar, in some of their classes.

“Symbiotic” here not necessarily meaning “mutualistic” (benefitting both parties) on a micro scale. I think it’s likely that it’s mutualistic on a macro scale of our two populations, but on a micro scale yeah some humans definitely get fucked over, more along the lines of commensalism or straight-up predation.

Really, learning as much as you can in order to avoid giving accidental offence is probably my #1 Fairy Witchcraft rule.

To an extent: there’s plenty of folklore that says “don’t ever fucking talk to these omg just leave quickly and pretend you didn’t see them”. That’s fairly wise for those wishing not to end up in deep water with the Fair Folk but as I’m already fully submerged, I don’t always look away - I trust that my bargains and roles and allies will keep me safe in most normal situations, and I don’t try to mess around with things above my pay grade. A lot of my discernment has been just figuring out what is and is not within my pay grade, and while I might not rush inside and barricade the door if I see a kelpie, I’m not likely to touch it or try to banish it, either. To quote Morgan Daimler, “I like my liver on the inside.”

There’s some disagreement about whether “fairy” includes non-European folkloric otherworldly beings, and more about whether it should, so just to be clear, when I use “fairy” I do mean it in the more general “folkloric otherworldly being” sense. But I try to use “fairy-like” when I’m explicitly talking about non-European folkloric otherworldly beings, out of respect for people in their source cultures who might not feel like the word “fairy” is appropriate. Some of that, I find, is because of a misunderstanding of what a “fairy” is, based on popculture, though - I had a long discussion with a Persian friend about fairies and djinn where at the end we basically decided both terms covered the same basic category, but she originally had thought all fairies were small Tinkerbell types which did not seem at all like her understanding of djinn!

#fairy witchcraft #witchcraft #fair folk #fae #spiritwork

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indecentpause · 6 months

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Hi! I decided to check your stories on ao3 and see that you have 20?? original stories!

I am gonna start reading some but if you don't mind I have a question.

how you were able to write so much? and they seem to have similar themes but how can you write a whole different story 20 times?? that's pretty cool. I have not even written 1 yet but you inspired me now

Hello Anon!

So, the first answer didn’t come out right, and the second I accidentally deleted. Third time’s a charm? Heads up, I'm autistic and I overexplain things, so this is going to be kind of long.

Most of the stories labeled with Sheraton Academy, with the exception of two (one which is not finished yet), they were results of my wife @ohsugarfoot and I bouncing ideas back and forth on long drives. Most of those characters are from an old pbp rpg from decades ago, where we met through her character Josselin and my character Meara. We are two huge nerds who are not afraid to write self-indulgent self-fanfic! Something would remind us of a character, and we’d laugh about it, and sometimes that was it, but sometimes it would spark a conversation of ‘What if this happened? Then ‘what if this happened?’ And soon enough we have a bare bones plot, or at least some beats.

I highly recommend getting yourself a person like this! Whether you meet irl or just talk online, having a person willing to be a sounding board is SO helpful. Writing takes a long time, and it can get lonely! Having someone to cheer you on helps so much.

Some of others were often based on alternate scenarios with some of my characters (Stars in Our Hands was a genderbent ‘what if Darcey and Jordan were women, how would their lives be different in a similar setting and what would their relationship be like?) SOME were things I’d been mulling over since I was a teenager, and now I’m in my late thirties, so they’ve had plenty of time to marinate. (I wrote three chapters of the first Feeling Is First in high school, and then dropped it for fifteen years until I found an idea where the characters really worked). Most of the non-Sheraton stories were based on those initial characters and ideas, just bouncing around in my head for a decade or so! Most of them I kept to myself until they were finished, occasionally asking Sugar to look at things if I was stuck. Those were a little more lonely, but I loved the characters and telling there stories was really important to me.

In the meantime, I was sharing prompt-inspired short stories here on writeblr. I slammed them out three times a week. The first dozen or so got a lot of likes, but don’t let that fool you —most of them were people just saving the prompts I was using. I even had people reblog and delete my story so they had reblogged just the prompt (this was back when you could edit other people’s posts). It sucked! But I wrote them because I loved to write them, and I shared them here because I have a handful of friends who liked to read them. Again, look for the cheer-readers! Those are the people who will get you through the rough times.

Short stories and longform stories are totally different monsters, though, and writing something longform can take years. It’s a totally different skillset. It’s not like some other kind of art that take a few days or weeks to finish before you have something to share. That’s where things like writeblr come in! If you feel comfortable sharing works in progress, and you have a Tumblr, I’d highly suggest starting one of your own and sharing ideas! You can share excerpts, make playlists, if graphics are your thing you can make those! Involve yourself in tag games (there’s always someone making a list, and it’s a good way to meet people and make friends and acquaintances). Jump on the trends going around on Tumblr like the Comic Sans Powerpoint or the Netflix show template, off you’re able.

The internet is a big place. Eventually you will find your people. Knowing there are friends and followers and mutuals online who want to read your work is inspiring! Even if you’re a slow writer, knowing people are interested in your ideas helps so much. I know plenty of incredibly talented people who often just ramble about characters and worldbuilding ideas, too, and even that can be helpful. And it’s fun for you and for people who like your ideas to read! You can also maybe find a local writing group or discord group, although with those ymmv. There are a lot of crap ones. There are some great ones too, though! You just have to be patient and dig.

Also, keep in mind that despite the dates I posted them, I finished my first full length novel (Two Heartbeats on One Page) back in 2012. (Then of course there was beta-ing and editing and stuff, but that was when I finished the first draft.) And before that I wrote all the time in high school, even though I only finished one novel, and it wasn’t very good, haha. I had been storing these up for years (I didn’t post my first novel until 2016) and was hoarding them like dragon because I was plagiarized in high school, and I was so scared of it happening again. But then I realized that the community was worth the risk, so I jumped in.

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING HERE, I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH: I am unable to work a normal job due to physical and mental disability, and my wife is the breadwinner. While I am not always able to write, often because of those things, I still have more chances to pop out a paragraph here and there. If I can’t get out of bed that day I can jot down notes on my phone. When I was writing and working before all that, I wrote much much less. If you have to work, or go to school, or take care of someone, or take care of a property, it is much, MUCH harder. It’s totally doable! But it’s a difficult balancing act so it might very well take you longer than it would if you weren’t.

As for ideas, it sounds trite, but they can literally come from anywhere. Something you overhear on the train, the taste of a certain cookie from a coffee shop you visited for the first time, a song someone is playing too loud on the radio in the car next to yours, seeing something pretty at a park. Inspiration can come from not so happy places, too, bad events that happened to or around you or loved ones, things or people you’ve lost, ways your community is failing you. Not every story is happy or has to have a happy ending.

And most of all!!! Just WRITE. Write great stuff and good stuff and bad stuff and even worse stuff. Just write, and don’t delete anything. You might hate that one scene you wrote BUT perhaps it can serve some other person in a project later. I have so many bits and bats and scraps of writing saved up. Many I will probably never use! But every word you write is a good one, because you are practicing and getting better.

I’m so glad to have inspired you!! I know this was long, I hope you got to the end. ;-; And thank you for being interested in my stories. Good luck in your future endeavors, Anon!

#ask pause things #writeblr #writing is hard #writing advice #i don't know if it's good advice or not but i hope it helps #anonymous

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dweebsfilingcabinet · 2 years

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DOLL ORDERS // TERMS AND CONDITIONS

These are the terms and conditions information regarding purchasing my dolls! If you have any questions, feel free to ask, I don't bite!!

Always check my bio for commission status. You're more than welcome to post photos of your dolls on socials as long as you credit me/link to my tumblr!!

- Starts below the cut because it's lengthy!

PAYMENTS and SHIPPING:

- Payments are done Via PayPal, or Cash App! If these don't work for you, we'll talk and see what we can work out!! <3

- I prefer people to send me the payments on PayPal through the "send money to friends/family" option, because PayPal doesn't take out a fee that way. If you need to send it through a business invoice, please send 5$-10$ USD extra to cover the fee PayPal docks me so I don't have to pay out of pocket for your shipping.

- If there are orders ahead of yours, you do not need to pay to get on my queue. I'll do your order regardless. Your place in my queue will depend on when you messaged me. I line my queue up in order of who contacted me first to last. So if you message me first, you get the first slot. Message me second you get the second slot, if you're the third person to message me you get the third and so on.

- I take the whole payment WHEN I START on your doll. I will always message you with a heads up as to when I am going to start, and you can send me the payment (doll+shipping) then!

- Speaking of payment; I will not turn away a customer who is under 18, because I know plenty of people younger than that who have income and can cover their own payment. However, if you ARE NOT the one who will be paying for your doll, and someone else is paying for it FOR you, PLEASE ASK PERMISSION BEFORE PAYING ME WITH THEIR MONEY. Even better, discuss getting me in contact with them somehow before paying, so I know its okay. I feel like it should go without saying, but I really don't want to be contacted by a parent/friend/guardian saying "X paid you with my money and I need that money back right now because I didn't give them permission!!", after I've already started on your doll--because at that point, I can't give the money back. Better safe than sorry.

- As well as the price of the doll, you pay shipping. I buy labels via pirate ship and will offer both USPS and UPS options, and you are allowed to pick your own shipping according for what works best for you!

- When you give me your shipping address, it does NOT leave our chat except to go to pirate ship, just so I can get your label printed. I'm not out here collecting peoples addresses and I'm absolutely not sharing them.

- I do ship out of the USA!

- I will always send you your tracking number, as well.

- Tips are always appreciated and welcomed :) absolutely not required!

*** Paying In Two-Halves:

- This isn't something I have done often, but this is something I'm willing to do. It is an option. If you are on a financial schedule that only allows you to pay half of your payment when I start, I'll allow you to pay half then, half later.

My only few conditions for this:

- I WILL NOT SEND YOUR DOLL UNLESS I HAVE FULL PAYMENT. This ensures that I still get paid, and you still get your doll. Even if it takes a little longer, no one's getting scammed.

- I will wait no longer than 2 weeks for the other half of the payment. The sooner you get it to me, the sooner you get your doll. It's an inconvenience to me to hold a doll for too long.

- If you are unable to make the 2nd payment, I cannot refund the first payment, as I have likely already started work on your doll. This means I have used my time and resources already, and I cannot send the money back to you FOR that reason.

DETAILS:

- Sewing isn't my whole life: as well as working on your orders, I have other things to do, and life sometimes throws us for loops. One doll order of a single doll can take a week or two! As all my dolls are 100% handmade (no sewing machine at all), they are very time consuming to complete. Please be patient!

- I can keep you updated on the progress of your doll as I work, or I can keep it a total surprise until it reaches you! I have done both!

- If you need your order by a certain date plan accordingly and tell me up front; I can't promise I will be able to manage that, though. I usually do not rush orders, as I don't want to rush my work.

- Extra clothing items cost extra. They take time to make, and I also have to buy more materials. They sometimes cost even more depending on material/complexity of the item because it takes longer to do, I have to take an extra trip to the craft store. If the clothing item is something I wouldn't be able to complete, I will tell you up front, but this hasn't happened yet. You can order as many extra clothing items as you prefer, but know it costs extra.

- You can order more than one doll, just please know it will take longer to complete your order. The biggest order I've done so far is three at once but I can definitely do more! It will just take longer. (Also, depending on where you are in the queue, you may be waiting a while if there's people in front of you.)

- I can make a number of accessories, including jackets, scarves, hats, bandoliers, felt pistols and felt knives, and I've even made fishing rods and mangoes. Have an accessory in mind? Raise the idea to me, and if I think I can do it, I'll tell you! If not, I will tell you upfront that I can't :) Accessories also cost extra.

- I have the right to refuse to make a doll/certain clothing and details if I do not feel comfortable doing so, or if I do not feel confident in my ability to do so.

REFUNDS:

- I can offer up to 25% of a refund of the total price only if your package has gotten lost. I will ALWAYS take your package to the post office and send you tracking, but once it is in the post offices hands, I am unfortunately not responsible for happens to it. I have still taken the time to make the dolls. I have never had a package get lost so far!

- I will try to help you find your package, though! I can always call the post office and see if I can get their help!

- I do not accept returns. Once you get your doll, it's yours.

- These are more along the lines of art dolls, and they are 100% hand made. They are delicate. They are NOT toys and are not meant to be handled by children or handled recklessly. If you damage your doll, or it is damaged under your care, I am not responsible for it. Care tips are provided for you in your box.

- If your doll sustains minor wear and tear, and you think its something fixable, GET IN CONTACT WITH ME. Send me photos and I'll make a diagnosis! If I can fix it, and you pay shipping round trip, you're more than welcome to send the doll back to me for repair and I'll do it for a small fee and send it back to you!

#handsewn dolls #handmade plush #handmade dolls #handsewn plush #commissions #plush commissions #doll commissions #dweeb speaks #terms and conditions #commission info

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brightgnosis · 1 year

Note

"Do not worship HaShem in a manner not prescribed by The Law" Can you elaborate on this and why it's considered idolatrous? Thanks :)

The way it's been explained to me thus far, as someone who hasn't been a Noahide very long and is still learning the intricacies of the basic Laws, is thus:

In Judaism "Idolatry" does not just refer to the worship of images, concepts, or items as if they were HaShem- as it mostly does within Christianity ... But to a complex system of action and belief surrounding the complete interaction with foreign (or non-Jewish) groups and cultures as well as their Gods and Spirits- or Avodah Zarah; Foreign Worship. Assuming a stance of active Polytheism, here ... We're not supposed to worship other Gods once we choose HaShem. That is a part of the agreement of choosing HaShem in the first place. Another part of that agreement is acknowledging / recognizing, and abiding by the rules HaShem set down for its worship itself.

Though there are some things that are confusing, and some things that can no longer be done, and so on ... HaShem did set out very clear particulars for its worship when it gave us the Torah (both Oral and Written). And it very clearly commanded those who chose to worship it to do so using these outlined methods specifically, and not to do so using methods used to worship other Gods of "foreign" groups.

Worshiping other Gods, and participating in their rites of worship (etc), once you've chosen HaShem, then, is Idolatry. To worship HaShem in a manner not prescribed by The Law (referring to the instructions of the Written and Oral Torah), is also a form of Idolatry- especially because you are treating HaShem as if they were a different God by using these other methods of worship (as opposed to treating them how they've told you to treat them).

That being said: This is the opinion I've been specifically taught thus far, and my overly-simplistic understanding of it. But I am not a Jew. I'm a Noahide- and I haven't been one for very long. My own understandings may be limited, incomplete, or incorrect as of currently, given my newness to the movement.

I would highly recommend reading the books suggested about Noahidism (if that's the topic that specifically interests you), and speaking with an actual Rabbi who is far more qualified to actually answer this question from the Jewish perspective (the correct perspective) than I am as a lay Noahide and non-Jew; or even just someone who is Jewish in general, as they'd have a much better grasp on this concept and its intricacies.

There are plenty- both Rabbi and Lay, from across several movements- whom I follow on Tik Tok in particular (since that's the app people appreciate most these days) that I'm happy to recommend, who are active in Jewish outreach and education, and who may be more than willing to answer questions like this:

rabbi_360 (Rabbi Seth Goldstein; Progressive Rabbi)

rabbisandra (Rabbi Sandra; Reconstruction, I think? -- also has Youtube, Twitter, Instagram, etc)

rabbichana (The Rebel Rabbi; Sephardic Rabbi -- also has Youtube, Twitter, Instagram, etc)

alyssagoldwater (Alyssa Goldwater; Orthodox Lay that typically fields all sorts of educational questions about Orthodoxy)

jewitches (Jewitches; ? Lay active in Antisemitism + Jewish Magic & Foklore education, but also fields questions about other Jewish traditions on occasion -- Also has Tumblr & Instagram)

miriamezagui (Miriam Ezagui; Orthodox Lay, questions are usually relevant to her life, but she'll occasionally field other questions -- also has Instagram)

devotaj (Ketzirah haMa'agelet; Kohenet Priestess and Artist, but I don't know if they actually do education. I would ask politely first -- also has Instagram)

#HaShem / Divine Androgyne / Divine Hermaphrodite #Anonymous #Answered Asks #2023 Asks #2023 #Noahidism #Jewish Studies #Religion & Magic #A Direct Look At My Practice #Witchcraft Asks

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fandomfloozy · 1 month

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sis they are cooking you for your torture porn reply to that horror poll

Hey, anon! Thanks for letting me know, honestly was not needed, but I appreciate it anyway <3

Honestly, I was just gonna keep this in my inbox bc I didn't have anything in my notifs to indicate that anyone had replied to me anywhere and I don't tend to actively seek out people bashing me BUT the post you're talking about just came across my dash so let's talk about it!

First off, I'd like to point out that OP's original poll literally posed the question of "What is your LEAST favorite horror genre?" and the person spreading around my reply is making it seem as if I posted that reply unprompted? As if I stepped into a body horror space and tried to make people feel bad for liking that genre? Which was never the intention. I wasn't the only person in the replies of that post saying that "torture porn" was my least favorite subgenre and that it personally made my stomach turn and I don't want to watch it, and I think poll-maker OP even made an edit to the poll saying that plenty of people replied with that

But I still stand by my opinion (God forbid you have one of those on Tumblr dot com) that I don't see a point to the kind of morbid display you see in Human Centipede or in Tusk. I can't sit through those kinds of movies, even reading the synopsis leaves me messed up for days just thinking about it. I don't personally get it, and I was sharing that sentiment in the replies of a poll asking what your least favorite genre is.

Granted, OP also said they don't agree with that being a subgenre and I gotta say that after thinking on it a bit, I definitely agree! What I was referring to and describing is definitely more along the lines of body horror, and that's what I should have labeled it as, I'm willing to concede that much.

[Edit: Just to be clear THIS is the definition I'm used to. I didn't use the term "torture porn" to make anyone feel like a horrid person for enjoying those kinds of films, this is just the way I was taught to use the very informal term for a subgenre, which is what the poll was about. To me, The Human Centipede and Tusk's plots center heavily on someone or multiple someones being tortured. This isn't a reflection of how I think these are "bad people films"]

Which brings me to people in the notes of the post spreading around my reply that are trying to make it seem like I'm spreading respectability politics? That I lack proper media literacy?There's even someone in the replies of the post saying I'm spreading white supremacy??

Bro, if you could see the other kinds of media I enjoy and watch and read. I have no issue with fiction having uncomfortable and even taboo displays existing! My reply was about my personal preferences on a poll about personal preferences in horror, and it's not any deeper than that. I understand the importance of having "bad" topics (heavy on the quotation marks here) in literature and film and TV, but that doesn't mean I'm going to subject myself to something that makes me physically queasy and I find unenjoyable. And that doesn't mean that I think people who do enjoy and find it interesting are "bad people," it's just something I can't agree is a good genre. The same way other people voted "zombie" and "ghost horror" on that poll and hit the replies, so did I! I LOVE a good zombie film. I like a good ghost story, and I am not going to feel personally attacked by the person in the replies saying that ghost horror is bland and boring. I can disagree with them and not make them out to be a horrid person spreading a hateful rhetoric

So if the person posting my reply without context and the people in their notes could stop painting me in that light (yes I realize my blog is blurred out and it can't be traced back to me and it's not technically a call out, but those are still my words you're twisting) I would really appreciate it.

Bad faith reading isn't a good habit for those who claim to abhorr lack of media literacy.

#anyway just thought id say my piece on this #it breaks my heart to see my repy spread to the point of gaining 2k notes and being on my own dash #which is composed of blogs i heavily enjoy #hurts bad to see someone i admire spread an idea of me that just isn't me #i appreciate OP blurring out my blog but clearly that doesn't stop people from finding me if anon was able to #but yea #thanks if you read this far you really didnt have to #appreciate it anyway

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somerandomhuman080 · 9 months

Note

self diagnosing is a-ok btw. it can take years of research to fully understand and know for sure but self diagnosing is fine do not worry! Take some time to research each concern you have and do not get attached to a diagnoses until you hit the "nothing else explains me/ these are symptoms are separate and I just need a second diagnosis"

One thing I can say for sure is that things like ADHD, Autism, OCD, etc. can have very similar symptoms but you gotta research HOW these symptoms arrive and HOW they effect you. I highly highly recommend following many tumblr users who are diagnosed or long time self-diagnosed who talk about their struggles and explain symptoms. You don't have to follow everyone, follow the tags, look through them, see what people have to say. Biggest thing you need to do: read articles! Google questions you have and see what shows up. Read multiple articles on each thing to check for accuracy etc etc.

if you are specifically researching ADHD right now, I recommend learning about executive dysfunction and see how much you relate to it from there. Also read the criteria of an ADHD diagnosis here: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK519712/table/ch3.t3/ (pay extra attention to things you relate to and try to find/ ask questions on these things specifically. Like what causes this in you? how does it present? Does it affect your other symptoms? Does this specific symptom show up in separate ways? etc.)

and to start, if you want to ask questions to people here on tumblr I recommend the account autistic-af (she is both autistic and has adhd, she takes in asks regularly but right now they are closed...follow and check in every day or so! Highly recommend) another blog you might want to try is my-autism-adhd-blog (they take in asks and give a lot of direct links and excerpts of articles if you do not know where to start. and I believe they will also help you find articles on OCD and anything else neurodivergent as well!) Remember to scroll down and look through tags! You might have some questions answered already. (but its okay to ask them again if they have, don't worry!)

self-diagnosing is a long road, but it helps to know yourself more and is very helpful for if you are able to get formally diagnosed in the future. also very very very important to remember... even if you are incorrect, if any accommodations you may ask of people around you helps you, please do not be afraid to continue those accommodations. If you are afraid of being wrong when mentioning these things just say that you suspect *diagnosis* and you think this would help you or you want to see if it helps you. Since you know you experience anxiety/depression then you damn well deserve accommodations already! Look for some tips for those conditions to help for now.

just to add some points i may have missed: many of symptoms you posted in your post are traits you may find in someone who has ADHD but they can also be found in someone who is autistic, who has ocd, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression etc etc. You will have a lot to research do and a lot of deep diving in yourself to come to a conclusion. (or conclusions) Start with learning more about ADHD then go to the next that you relate to. Learn about comorbidity and see how conditions look combined. Give yourself plenty of time and ask questions to people who have known you for years. You don't have to tell them why if you are uncomfortable with them knowing and if they think you don't have these problems and refuse to help, move on to the next person who is willing to help and take you seriously.

lastly, i wish you good luck in all this!!!! Genuinely!!!! For me, I grew up in a toxic environment and wasn't allowed to even see a doctor growing up. I had to learn everything on my own and it was difficult and sometimes scary until I learned about the communities here on tumblr who talk about their experiences day by day. It helped. A lot. And now i'm working towards finally and officially getting diagnosed with (quite a few) conditions! Self diagnosing saved my life, kept me going, kept me safe. don't be afraid to ask questions and give yourself any help you need. don't be afraid to self-diagnose. in time you will learn which diagnoses you can confidently say "i have this!" and which ones you will need to say "I need professional advice to confirm this but I want to let you know I heavily relate to this condition" just don't be afraid of getting to either! <3

Oh! and remember to take breaks if it gets overwhelming or frustrating! its definitely a lot to learn. and sometimes discourse can be hard to read.

( sorry for the very long ask! just wanted to help out on a day I am able :3 )

thank you so much for your advice! this is really helpful, i’ll definitely be doing more research :) i really appreciate it. also i literally got tumblr the other day and i have no idea if i responded to this right, please let me know.

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tossawary · 2 years

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Bidding has opened for the FTH 2022 auction! I have two 10-20k fanfics up for auction, under the SVSSS, MDZS, and TGCF fandoms. You can find the event’s FAQ here. If you win one of these two auctions, I write you a fanfic!

You can see my contributor page with all of the information on the offerings and how to bid on them here:

https://fth2022offerings.dreamwidth.org/195080.html

Offering #1 Bidding Spreadsheet.

Offering #1 Bidding Form.

Offering #2 Bidding Spreadsheet.

Offering #2 Bidding Form.

Basically, you bid on offered fanworks. If you win, you donate the amount pledged directly to the org, show the FTH mods the receipt, and then I write you whatever fanfic you request as a “thank you” gift. If you don’t win the auction, you don’t have to donate anything. Neither I nor the FTH mods ever touch your money. Even if your creator can’t complete their offered fanwork for whatever reason (they get banned from future auctions for this), you’re still donating to charity, which is pretty cool.

More information on my offerings below! (Just some brief elaboration on the information on the contributor page, really.)

Cut.

Especially interested in: I'm open to most subjects, themes, and pairings! I particularly enjoy Mòběi-jūn/Shàng Qīnghuá as a pairing, Canon Divergence as a subject, and Families of Choice as a theme. I also like worldbuilding and Fusion AUs.

This is just a rundown of what I’m used to writing and generally enjoy for people who may be unfamiliar with my work, but bidders are certainly not limited to these subjects, themes, or pairings!

I like Canon Divergence best, probably, but if you’re following me here on Tumblr, you’ve probably seen me throw out plenty of Modern AU concepts and Fusion AU concepts from Cinderella AUs to Dragon Ball Z AUs. I’ll write both romance-centric and friendship-centric stuff. I’ll write pretty much any pairing! If you’re not sure if I’m up for it, you can always ask.

Unwilling to address: I am not willing to write rape/non-con, incest, alpha/beta/omega dynamics, slavery, extremely graphic violence, unhappy endings, harems as a main pairing, cheating in relationships, underage/adult pairings, and character bashing. If you have any questions about subjects that fall along similar lines, please don't hesitate to ask.

You do you, but I’m not really a porn / kink writer (I do read it, though), nor do I particularly enjoy bashing characters or making them utterly miserable without comfort at the end. I’m not really a darkfic writer or reader. The limit for both of my offerings is a Mature rating, so I will unfortunately not be writing you the explicitly kinky PWP of your dreams.

Notes: I am happy to collaborate with you on story premise through email or Discord and to give you inside looks into my process and progress, or to surprise you with a completed fic after the premise is given. I would like to post this fic to AO3 upon completion and I can gift it to your AO3 account and/or the AO3 account of a friend. If this work is a gift needed by a certain date, please let me know and I will try to accommodate that need.

I am aiming for a minimum of 10,000 words, with allowance to go over, and I have a flexible maximum wordcount. This being said, please do not intentionally request a fic you know will be a minimum 25,000+ words.

I am happy to accept original prompts, or to allow you to pick from my "fic ideas" tag on my Tumblr, or to write a sequel, prequel, alternate POV, or AU of one of my existing fics on AO3. Please note, however, that if the request conflicts with my own plans for an existing fic or fic idea, I may ask for a different prompt.

I mean, if you want me to write something that I already have plans for, I’ll probably still write it for you. If you want the story a certain way, you just have to be cool with me potentially doing a different take on it down the line.

I’m a pretty wordy writer and when bursts of inspiration hit, I can get even wordier, so I’m cool with potentially going a little over the 20k limit. If you want me to pare it down, though, and stick to a 10-20k fic, I can actually do that. I’m just usually writing for myself and inclined to be self-indulgent, but I can edit a story down into something nice and streamlined.

Special Interest Tags

f/f pairings Poly ships Genderswap/genderbending Canonically trans or nonbinary characters Trans or nonbinary readings of canon characters Racial or cultural experiences of nonwhite characters Racebending Unhappy endings Ambiguous endings.

So, this year, the FTH mods allowed creators to opt into these special interest tags, so that they could advertise to people looking for a certain thing. I did not opt into any of them, because I didn’t want to give anyone the idea that I was only looking to write any of these, even if the mods have made plenty of announcements to remind people special interest tags aren’t limits.

If you’re looking for it, I’m good to write F/F pairings, poly ships, genderbending, trans / nonbinary / genderqueer characters, and ambiguous endings. Racial or cultural experiences depends. And I’m not really down for unhappy endings.

#tossawary svsss #tossawary mdzs #tossawary tgcf #fan events #tossawary updates

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black-emporium-exchange · 3 years

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How to sign up for Black Emporium!

Yes sweet nuglets, it's that time of year again: Time to sign up for Black Emporium!

CLICK HERE TO SIGN-UP!

Helpful Links:

How to Guide || Requests on Ao3 || Tagset || Nominations Spreadsheet || Request Database || Parent Collection (All Past Years)

Main hubs:

@black-emporium-exchange || black_emporium @ Dreamwidth || blackemporiumex on Twitter || AO3 Subcollection || Discord

Signups end: July 17, 2021 @ 8:00PM EDT || Countdown

CHANGES THIS YEAR

- We now have a brand new Request Database this year! Unlike previous years where mods had to hand copy requests into a separate Google Doc, the Database will automatically populate who and what people are requesting. (Should come in handy when writing treats or looking for inspiration.)

A STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE TO SIGN-UPS BELOW THE CUT:

1. Sign in to Ao3

If you don’t have an Ao3 account, contact the mods for help!

2. Go to the Black Emporium signup field (link)

3. Scroll to the “Requests” field

There are several different components of this field:

Relationship:

Additional Tags: You can request fanfic, fanart, or both. Selecting "any" is treated the same as selecting both.

Letter: If you have written a letter on an external website (such as Tumblr/Wordpress/Dreamwidth/Google Docs), you may link it here.

Description: Here is where you can provide additional detail about what you would like to see in a fanwork, both in general and for specific pairings. Good things to include (in this box, a letter, or both) are general likes and dislikes, preferred content rating, and Do Not Wants. Please remember to put your DNW's (do not wants) in the Ao3 sign up form - we can only take action if you put your DNW in your Ao3 sign-up form because it is the only thing we can absolutely guarantee that your creator will be able to access.

Remember that anyone who creates fanwork for you must respect your Do Not Wants. If you do not enter anything into this box, and you do not have a link to a letter, we will assume that means you are okay with anything for the specified pairing(s). If you have any preferences or things you do not want, we would encourage you to add them. It makes the process smoother for all involved.

Here are some things commonly put in the description box:

Likes/Wants:

- Frequently it can be considered helpful to your author or artist if they have some idea of what you like to see, and what you don't. For example:

I love F!Adaar/Sera because I think the idea of them merrily pranking their way around Skyhold is so much fun. Please don't write me something sad about them.

Do Not Wants:

- Stuff that makes you uncomfortable, or just plain stuff that is Not Your Thing. While the Black Emporium does not believe in kink shaming or otherwise insulting people for their own personal taste, we do want people to let their artists or authors know what their limits are. You don't have to give any reasons for this; "no x/y/z" gives your creator plenty of info to discern where your limits are.

We can only take action if someone writes you something against your DNWs if it is in your sign-up.

Prompts:

Prompts can be just about anything, but they're meant to be ideas that you'd like to see that can help give your artist or author something to work off of. Sometimes this can be a prompt or a question you'd like explored (for example: What if Solas found himself falling for M!Trevelyan? How would he feel about potentially falling for a human?) or an idea you'd love to see (Josie and M!Cadash snuggled up in front of a fire, please!) or just a few words of inspiration (Leliana/Josephine - secrets, lies, ravens).

Details about your character(s):

It is fairly common for people to give basic descriptions of their characters if it is a character where their appearance or personality may vary (ex: Wardens/Hawkes/Inquisitors), particularly if fanart is requested. These descriptions can be very basic indeed (ex: purple hawke), or extremely detailed (ex: This is Celeste Trevelyan, she loves her squad more than life itself, pink hair, dusky-rose skin, built like she could bench press you six ways from sunday).

Bucket Requests:

You may also use the description field to note additional pairings that you would be willing to receive. You may find this option helpful if you are willing to consider different Warden or Inquisitor backgrounds for your specified pairing that have been nominated. You are limited to an additional ten pairings specified in this manner. Please fill out the form entirely before filling in pairings manually in the description; those that you fill in in the relationship field (the first 30) will take priority.

Things you should not put in the description field:

“I would like anything but nasty [kink]. I think people who write that are gross and nasty.”

Please do not insult people who like something you dislike. It’s Not For You, and That’s Okay. “No [kink]” expresses this much better than a long explanation of why you don’t like [kink].

“I’m only choosing this to get to three nominations. Please don’t write it.”

While we know someone who signs up for a, b and z may want a and/or b more than z, but please don’t scream to your author or artist that what you may well match on is something you don’t want as much as other pairings. Writing something like this also reduces your chance at treats as well.

“Even though I said I wanted M!Solavellan, I’m fine with F!Solavellan too if you like that better.”

Please don’t tell people that you’d be alright with non-nominated pairings, as fics with only non-nominated pairings cannot be added to the collection.

Minimums and Maximums in Requests:

You are required to fill out a minimum of three request fields (Required: Relationship, Additional Tags; Optional: Letter, Description). Remember that you may put in one OR two relationships per request field, so the maximum number of pairings that you can list in this manner is thirty. Remember also that you must fill out at least 3 request fields, so if you fill 2 out with 3 requests in each "request box", Ao3 will still want you to add one more -- it's a good rule of thumb to fill at least three out with one request, then double up as you wish.

4. Continue to the “Offers” field

There are several different components of this field:

Relationship:

Enter one, two, or three approved relationships that you would like to see in a fanwork created for you. This field will autosuggest approved pairings. If your pairing does not show up, it may be that you have fallen victim to a known bug of Ao3's that we cannot fix, wherein pairings in a tagset do not autofill. If this happens, simply type it in as it appears in the tagset. If it continues to give an error, please drop us a comment with the pairing so we can figure out what's going on. You also have the option to select any relationship.

By selecting “Any Relationship,” that means that you are willing to write or draw fanwork for, literally, ANY of the approved pairings.

The only limitation we will accept will be be a limitation of what category of relationship you want to create for: eg, Any F/F, Any M/M, Any F/M, Any Multi, Any Other, or Any Nonbinary. Anything else WILL BE REJECTED. You may NOT use this option to say, for example, “Any Cullen pairing”. This option is for any and all of the approved pairings in your designated category/categories. Do not use this option unless you are sure that any is truly what you want.

Additional Tags:

You can offer to create fanfic, fanart, or both. Selecting "any" is treated the same as selecting both.

Comments for mods:

Here is where you can provide additional detail about what you will and won’t create. As with your requests, you can provide general likes and dislikes as well as things that you absolutely will not do. If there is someone signed up you absolutely cannot stand, please write "don't match me to x" here; we won't ask details, we just won't match and this will be a fully confidential field. If you hate nugs, put it here, and we'll make sure you get at least one nug-free prompt and, ideally, a nug-free sign-up. We want you to have an assignment you'll be happy about, so if you've got something that would be triggering for you to create for, let us know. We can only take action based on our own knowledge, so the more information we have the better we can try to match you with what you really want. If you do not enter anything into this box, we will assume that means you are okay with anything for the specified pairing(s) selected. If you have any preferences or do not wants, we would encourage you to add them. It makes the process smoother for all involved. None of the mods will blab over whatever you write; we just want you to have the best time possible with your assignment.

Minimums and Maximums in Offers:

You are required to fill out a minimum of three offer fields (Required: Fandom, Relationship, Additional Tags; Optional: Comments to mods). Remember that you may put in one or two relationships per request field, so the maximum number of pairings that you can list in this manner is twenty. Remember also that you must fill out at least 3 offer fields, so if you fill 2 offer fields out with 2 offers in each "box", Ao3 will still want you to add one more offer field even though you have one over the minimum required amount of offers -- it's a good rule of thumb to fill at least three offer fields, each with one offer, then go back and double up or not, as you wish.

Bucket Offers:

You may also use the comments to mod field to note additional pairings that you would be willing to write if you have already filled thirty slots. You may find this option helpful if you are willing to consider different Warden or Inquisitor backgrounds for your specified pairing. You are limited to an additional ten pairings specified in this manner. Once again, those filled in the actual relationship: tags will take priority over those written in, so choose which pairing goes where carefully!

A Note on Matching

Black Emporium runs on OR matching, which means that you will match on one relationship out of the ones that you offer and request. You are guaranteed to match on ONE relationship; you may match on more, you may not. For your assignment, you can write what you matched on OR you can write any other couple on their sign-up form. You will only have to write or draw for ONE request, not all of them. The minimums will be one piece of artwork or one 1,000 word fic.

#be_2021 #be_signups #be_announcements #be_rules

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helena-thessaloniki · 3 years

Note

Hi Helena! Big fan of your writing here🥺♥️ Your rivamika fics are my safe space 😭 (if you have time to answer) i’d love to know when you first started shipping them, why, and what made you continue to love this ship (or anything else to do with your journey as an RM shipper)? i love your characterisation of both levi and mikasa individually, but even more so, your portrayal of their dynamic as a couple, which is why i wanted to ask so badly ☺️ x

Hey anon! Oh woah, first of all, thank you so much. Second of all, oh god, you probably shouldn't have handed me the mic. heh 😅

I’m afraid to look at the word count of this response, I’m sure it’s much more than you bargained for, but I appreciate the question and enjoyed thinking through my response (: Most importantly, I’m so glad you find my stories as a safe space. It’s really an honor. Thank you for sharing with me 🖤🖤

TL; DR As a longtime reader, writer and lover of stories and story-telling, by being someone who pays attention to how stories are crafted and deliberately developed from beginning to end, I sincerely thought Isayama was setting up rivamika as an endgame relationship. So, I read into and interpreted meaning out of ALL their interactions and became deeply invested.

I don’t necessarily ship them cause of the parallels, age gap, enemies to lover trope, height difference, or some of those common reasons and/or kinks. I’m more basic and boring than that. I love the concept of them coming together as though it’s inevitable.

They both are unbelievably strong, selfless, and have suffered so much loss— so, no one else could truly understand them as well as they can understand each other. They both probably would have always settled for a stable, simple life, and been alone and lonely even without realizing it— instead, they find each other, and realize what it means to actually no longer be alone, to do more than just survive. It’s this understated bond, as opposed to a dramatic and passionate romance, that I envision in them and that I love so much.

Then, the passion, heat, the romantic "spark"— I think that’s an added bonus, the cherry on top, the perfect final puzzle piece. They’re both so physically capable, can speak through their actions, and don’t show much need or capacity for emotional/ verbal communication, so the ability to connect with each other through physical intimacy and mind-blowing sex seems like another given.

Still, at the end of the day, for me it comes back to their ability to fully depend on each other, to the inevitability. Not like some soulmate trope where they 'have no choice' in it, but like the stars aligned to prove it's right. How each of them have only one other person on the whole planet who could see and understand them, to be on par with them, to make them realize there’s more to life than settling and surviving, and they happen to find it in each other.

You asked, I rambled 😅 Here’s a breakdown of my thought process in my rivamika journey. For those who make it to the end or want to skip to the end, I'll finish with the excerpt of the very first rivamika scene I felt compelled to to write.

I've tried before to re-watch and remember the exact scenes, exact moments, that initially captured my full attention, but I guess it was all of them, the gradual and cumulative compilation of their earliest interactions.

Mikasa always appearing cool and indifferent, and paying no attention whatsoever to others fawning over, like Jean initially falling for her, but then her strongly reacting over Levi in the courtroom showed how uniquely capable he was at getting under her skin.

Of course, the scene in the forest chasing the Female Titan was a critical one. I think of that as the first time both Levi and Mikasa were truly able to see the other's strength, mental and physical. And for them, orphans and trauma survivors who have suffered extensive loss, I think that seeing strength in another person made them feel less alone. Less alone in a deep, quiet but cataclysm, life-altering sort of way, even if not a romantic one. Like they didn't know it was something they didn't have, something they didn't expect to get from life, but then found it with each other.

(Even when we found out Levi was an Ackerman, I was disappointed if it meant they were immediate relatives, but willing to accept it wouldn't be a romantic end to loneliness, it would be a familial end to loneliness. But... the author never explored that. Not once.)

In that forest scene, manga and anime, the way that Levi pauses to really look and see Mikasa and think about who she is, what she’s gone through, and how strong and dedicated she is now— that was a defining moment. It was also a visual demonstration of Levi breaking character, from aloof and ruthless, to considering and curious. I thought Yams was showing both of them do that on purpose.

Then, Levi getting hurt because of Mikasa in that scene felt like another clue. Sure, it was while saving Eren, and sure, it could have been meant to humanize super-soldier Levi, or sure, it could have been another aspect of how Mikasa rushing into things over Eren ends up hurting other people that later changes in her character development, but it felt like a very pointed statement about Mikasa being a vulnerability for Levi. And that's swoon-worthy, right? Most of us have been exposed to and conditioned by stories about how special and romantic it is to be the one and only girl who can make an otherwise disinterested or unattainable guy actually pay attention to her, and so admittedly I fall right for it.

I’m sure I’m forgetting plenty, but the opening of season 3 felt like confirmation. When Levi figures out Kenny's behind things and entrusts Mikasa with instructions to share with the others, instructions about fighting people instead of titans that ultimately everyone else besides her struggles with, and when Mikasa lets Levi hold her back from chasing after Eren, her most important way of trusting and having faith in Levi, I honestly took that as cues from the author that rivamika was endgame. I let myself get truly invested from then on. That’s that understated bond I was referring to. To me, that unspoken but undeniable trust is the most important dynamic.

Seeing them fight together or fight similarly has always been fun and powerful and fulfilling.

I'm newer to the snk club. I was originally an anime-only fan and started watching in fall 2019, I think. I wasn't on tumblr, twitter, or anything else to see fandom discourse. So, I didn't know that the rooftop scene of Mikasa fighting Levi over the serum was such a staple for our ship until much later. I love the scene just like many do for all the reasons we do, but I don't think the actual scene was pivotal for me, so much as it's aftermath. I thought it represented two things.

One, it was an important marker in Levi's characterization. Hands-down one of the most striking scenes to me is the one where Levi is in the alley, somber and alone, listening in on Eren, Armin, and Mikasa talking together. It artfully shows his longing for hope and connection. So, when Levi chose Armin for the serum, that represented Levi choosing hope. And when Mikasa ultimately gave up fighting Levi and didn't choose Armin, which Armin finds out about later on, I see that as an important marker in Mikasa's development. It puts a wedge between her and Armin/Eren [Armin, because he knows she would have let him die, and Eren, because Armin is too special to him and he couldn't look at her the same way after realizing she would have let him die]. That distance between her and her childhood friends is one I don't think could ever be healed completely, one of those painful lessons in growing up. By doing that, it then also puts a distance in Mikasa's own childhood self to her current self. I thought that matured her and separated her out in a way that was another clue toward eventual rivamika developments.

That's a whole other conversation on Mikasa, but I’ll stay on track. Her love for Armin was absolutely authentic and fierce, but at the end of the day, at the core of her being, she chose survival over hope. Meanwhile, Levi chose hope over survival. To me, that was soft, fertile ground for the reasons why eventually, if/when Mikasa found hope and chose hope, that could directly tie together with her inevitably in coming together with Levi. Again, less butterflies and fireworks, but more natural and in a way that was just a given.

I wrote Beyond the Walls before reading the manga from the Marley Arc and on, so that's why most of that story is her journey into embracing that hope. *manga spoilers* There's a lot of meta, criticism and talk about Mikasa's silent, off-screen and subtle style of character development in the Marley Arc and afterward. I won't go down that road, I'm still processing the end of the manga to be honest, but I think it's fair to say she does eventually end up choosing hope over survival when she lets go of Eren and saves humanity instead. I love the “Stay with Me” line and think it’s perfect; a simple but profound display of trust and their deep-rooted bond in a really understated way. *end manga spoilers*

Here's something I always wanted to talk about in full but haven't. It honestly reads to me like Yams was building toward rivamika, and didn’t do anything to stop that until too late. There are tools authors can use to ensure we stop shipping a pair or start shipping a new one; love triangles are commonly used in every artistic medium and we’ve all been persuaded by these tools. But Yams didn’t use these tools to make sure readers didn’t feel convinced by rivamika. For all the reasons I listed above, more I'm forgetting, and for the following:

If he wanted us to think they were family and it would be incest, he should have added in a conversation between them realizing they were (close) family and that they weren't the only ones left in their biological family like they thought. But he didn't.

If he wanted us to think it was completely inappropriate between a child-and-adult and student-and-teacher, then he could have done something to ensure Mikasa looked childish or Levi looked older, but no. They barely look ten years apart. I do think it's unacceptable and that there's a power imbalance between a child-and-adult relationship regardless of that, and that there can't be true consent when one is a superior and another a subordinate, so I personally age-up Mikasa in my head and try to handle his position of power responsibly in my writings... but the point being, by the end of canon, there's no inappropriate or non-consensual romance between them, yet there's a lot of history and chemistry that could naturally lead to an age-appropriate and consensual relationship. If Yams didn't want us to think so, he could have made it more clear that there were reasons it wouldn't happen.

The only thing that makes sense to me is the author planned on rivamika endgame but was shamed/pressured out of it (either internally or due to others) OR that the author somehow accidentally created such vibrant chemistry and an incredible dynamic between them. Like, he didn't put enough convincing substance of eremika in, didn't make Levi look old enough, didn’t have one of them do something unforgivable in the other’s eyes, etc. Those are some of those tools he could have used. Romance was never a key component in snk. And since we now know Yams planned or needed eremika endgame for sake of plot and the conclusion of the manga, I personally think he didn't know what to do with the riveting rivamika substance and chemistry being much more convincing to readers. Once he had them so well built-up, maybe the only option he felt he had was to just stop putting the characters together. We get little-to-no rivamika interaction, platonic or practical, after season 3 all the way up until the very end. But there was so much of it beforehand ?? So, it simply doesn't make sense. I think the author just straight-up cut any and all interactions out between them because it was too convincing and moving, more convincing and substantial than eremika. But, as the end of canon shows, we needed to have some eremika buy-in. It's messy writing and unskilled in the romance department, but considering for how long and how complicated snk has been in a creative process and how lackluster the eremika romance (the main and apparently pivotal romance) is developed, I think it’s plausible to say the author effed up.

As far as writing fanfiction goes, there's just so much room to explore them. In canon, we aren't given enough insight into their individual perspectives, let alone their dynamic together, so it feels like a blank canvas to work from. I think that's part of why I love to write them, and also why I don't necessarily read much of them. When I first started shipping them while watching the anime, I read a few of the classics that were canon-verse, but I haven’t really read much since. For me, exploring and discovering them as a writer is the most fun. (It's one of the reasons Naruto and Harry Potter have such large fanfiction collections. There's so much world-building and so many characters, but there's also so much left to the imagination.)

In general, I'm drawn to strong characters, especially women, who are multidimensional enough to be real, vulnerable and soft. Mikasa is the pinnacle of that. I don’t necessarily like to write about her love or infatuation with Eren, but I do respect and admire and consider it integral to her character and her amazing capacity to love. We can have strong, kickass women who falter when it comes to love but are still considered strong for it. The two don’t have to be mutually exclusive and Mikasa is a beautiful example of that.

And Levi is strong, but real and vulnerable too; he’s honestly a fantastically developed character, from Petra explaining to Eren in the beginning how he’s not the amazing hero he’s painted to be to the public, to how Levi genuinely cares for Erwin and others and chooses hope despite all he’s suffered.

The end of the manga wrecked me a bit. Kind of like Games of Thrones. You have something that was so epic and well-done for so long, a rushed ending that isn't immediately sensical and isn't fulfilling is hard to stomach. Eventually, I'll move on from the denial of that and process what I think and feel about it. The whole reason we have fanfiction is to expand on canon, but it's made me put rivamika on the back burner until I figure it out. So I'm a little less hyper-fixated on the pairing right now even though interacting with you all and asks like this remind me what brought me here in the first place. 😊

To conclude, I’ll share that the very first rivamika content I wrote was a compilation of moments I thought could be inserted into season 3. These are still moments I plan to edit and publish one day. For anyone that actually read this far, I’ll put a rough and unedited excerpt of the first scene I ever wrote about them.

Thank you again anon 🖤😊

BEGIN EXCERPT [after the rooftop fight for the serum, immediately following the ceremony where Eren touched Historia by kissing her hand]:

Part of her was embarrassed at such a flagrant act of disobedience to a superior, especially to one who saved her and countless others' lives in the past. But mostly, she was anguished by the situation Captain Levi put her in once he revoked the serum meant to save Armin and planned to use it on Commander Erwin instead. Her current ostracization and self-loathing was not entirely her own fault. Anger she felt toward herself was just as easy to wield against him.

It must have shown in the grit of her teeth or defiant tone, because he turned to look at her, more aloof than curious.

Like a flint struck to steel, it ignited the fury she felt toward him.

“I shouldn’t have hesitated. I should have just killed you,” she answered him at last, piercing him with eyes darker than the night.

He wasn’t concerned. “You’re good, but not that good.”

Her hands fell to her side, fists clenched as she stood with a single, fluid movement. Before she could let loose a threat, he sighed.

“What’s the problem, Ackerman?” He was dismissive, his shoulders relaxed and posture loose.

The fire too furious to contain, she went sailing for him with the same speed from the battlefield. Her fingers already curled, she tightened her grasp as she swung her fist into his gods-damned apathetic face.

Levi wasn’t unprepared. He easily side-stepped her, then snatched her wrist to steal her momentum. Though he tried to toss her aside, she was no less fast; Mikasa dug her heel in and spun, her other arm shoving hard into his chest.

Too graceful to stumble, Levi used the chance to hook her second arm too. He caged both her wrists in a grip so strong, she was sure it bruised her bones. Still, he only looked at her warily, almost bored.

“Shouldn’t you be grateful? I chose Armin.” If his reminder was meant to ease her anger, it had the opposite effect.

Fury and desperation gifted her additional strength. She shoved into his chest hard. Levi shifted backward, nearly forced into loosening his grip; within that split second of an opening, Mikasa slammed her elbow into his chin, rocking his head backward.

“You did,” she seethed, but as fast as the fire inside her exploded, it was doused. Her next words came out broken and damp. “But I didn’t.”

Levi remained stern and otherwise unmoving as he attempted to flex his jaw through the spasm of pain. As the momentum of the fight died down, he loosened his hold on her wrists and evaluated her distraught frame.

Mikasa immediately released her own hands and turned away from him, eyes stinging from tears she refused to shed as she focused on the stars ahead. Admitting the harsh words aloud hurt her far more than any injury she could inflict onto him.

Not only was Armin one of the only friends she had, but he’d been a steadfast one throughout almost all she could remember of her life. After the trauma of her childhood, it was Eren and Armin who embraced her, whom she learned to love. Now, though, there was a wedge between her and Armin she was not sure could ever be removed. What was worse, as deplorable and selfish as she knew it proved her to be, was the painful wedge it now put between her and Eren too.

Once again, she found Levi standing at the peripheral of her sight, close enough to see but far enough to be a blur at the edge of her watery vision.

“You almost killed me.” Levi repeated his earlier words, but he said them with an odd bite, torn between frustration and patience. “You would have killed me to save him.”

Too late, Mikasa realized he hadn’t meant these words as an accusation, but an odd form of validation. She bit her bottom lip, teeth puncturing too hard; the tang of metal was sharp on her tongue when she swallowed blood.

“You thought about letting your closest friend die,” Levi said quietly, tiredly. “But I did let mine die. I left him for dead, when I could have saved him.”

Mikasa was startled from her selfish reverie, for the first time acknowledging the sacrifice he made on that fateful afternoon. She’d been too absorbed in her own relief, and then, her own regrets to consider what the decision had done to him.

For a brief moment, she considered turning to face him, but the stark reality of the matter made her refrain. How could she feel pity for his loss, when his loss enabled her gain? An uncomfortable knot tightened in her stomach.

“Tch,” Levi sighed. He was only one notch less taciturn, but for him, that was soft. “You’ll live with your guilt, and I’ll live with mine.”

His words granted Mikasa’s tears the permission to spill. She buried her face further into her scarf, both hands trembling at the worn threads. As quietly as he arrived onto the roof, Levi disappeared from it.

It was rare for him to indulge in alcohol or celebrations, but Erwin’s absence felt more tangible than his presence ever did. Levi distracted himself with the chaos of the few remaining Scouts that Erwin had died entrusting his legacy to, and attempted to drown the pain with whatever drink Connie Springer shoved into his hands.

He found Hanji with their ale long-forgotten about on the table as they half-stood from their seat, frantic while explaining some morbid experiment in great, vivid detail to an unsuspecting and slightly horrified MP officer.

Though Levi wordlessly took the seat beside them, Hanji paused their rant to slap him hard on the back, an enthusiastic greeting flying from their drunken lips. The MP took this chance to excuse himself, a pathetic attempt at politeness, but Hanji either didn’t care or didn’t notice.

“Ah, Levi,” they smiled at his drink, though it didn’t entirely reach their one eye. “Where you been?”

Levi didn’t answer. “You know, shitty-glasses, you’re even more unbearable about your experiments when you’re drunk.”

Hanji waved dismissively and reached for their ale. Years spent in battle and command together had gifted both of them with an eased familiarity, and sometimes, genuine friendship. In the same manner he ignored their question, Hanji ignored his lack of response and went on with their original inquiry.

“Careful, Captain,” Hanji warned lightly. “Now that there’s far fewer Scouts, you having a favorite might cause some division.”

Even though Hanji meant the words, there was a glint of mischief that twinkled in their remaining eye.

“It’s not favoritism,” Levi countered bluntly, turning his vision toward the young man on the far side of the room. “Eren is simply the best chance that we have in this war.”

Hanji laughed as if he’d made a joke and Levi looked back to stare at them, unable to be surprised at their quirks or oddities any longer, but still a touch curious about what spurned this current demonstration.

“I wasn’t talking about Eren,” Hanji said at last, a pointed nod toward his injured chin.

Levi blinked. He didn’t realize he was nursing his injury with the hand not on his drink. As though it were too hot to touch, Levi dropped his hand.

Hanji was not judgmental, nor inquisitive. In a war-torn life of losing too many cadets entrusted to him, the fact that Levi found a soldier with the strength and skill to remain safe was not only rare, but worth special attention. Still, it made him too lenient.

“Sometimes I think you’d let her get away with murder,” Hanji chided halfheartedly.

When he thought of Erwin dead in his grasp, sometimes he wasn’t sure if he already had.

#my asks #my thoughts #rivamika #rivamika fanfic #lena writes

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sinical-boar · 3 years

Text

Through The Steam[FE3H]

“ Dimitri notices something peculiar about Byleth's behavior after joining him in the sauna. Byleth is worried Dimitri knows and won't see him the same again.”

Contains: Trans Male Byleth, Implied Dimileth and Pining

CW: Mentions of unhealthy binding.

AO3 Version: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32554615

Tumblr Version Under the cut!

Dimitri entered the sauna, hopeful that the heat treatment might help his aching shoulders. If that didn't work, he'd have to resort to a hot bath rather than a cool one. The mere idea of taking a hot bath right after going in a sauna made him feel dehydrated. It was mostly empty at the time but that didn't bother Dimitri. It gave him time to be alone with his thoughts. He leaned back and stretched his arms above his head carefully then entered a more relaxed position.

'Professor Byleth has at least been coming out of his room every now and then. The shock must still be plaguing him. I hope it does not consume him, I have to admit that I miss his lectures and-'

Dimitri stopped that thought in it's tracks once he heard the sauna door open. Standing in the doorway was Byleth, who looked a little worse for wear. The shadows under his eyes eased up since the last time Dimitri spoke to him but he looked like he struggled to upkeep his appearance.

"Oh. Sorry I didn't know this was in use." Byleth turned to leave.

"Ah wait Professor! It's okay I don't mind. I was just lost in my thoughts is all. You are free to join me if you wish. If not that's understandable." Dimitri truly did want the Professor there but he didn't want to force him to stay.

Byleth looked at Dimitri's reassuring smile and quietly shut the door behind him.

"Thank you." Byleth slowly walked over and sat relatively close to Dimitri.

Dimitri couldn't help but smile and tried not to stare at Byleth too much. All the room in the sauna and Byleth decided to sit next to him.. Did Byleth trust him this much? He hoped so. His other guess would be that his presence was comforting to Byleth during this time of his life. Dimitri wouldn't say it out loud but if that were true, he'd probably blush. He snuck a few glances at Byleth and decided to break the ice a little.

"Have you been sleeping better?"

Byleth stared into the steam rising to the ceiling, "A bit. Manuela gave me some tea to drink that helps put me to sleep. It feels a little silly to need such a thing."

"Professor there is no shame in needing something like that to help you. Even I need those teas every now and then."

"Oh right. You have nightmares too. Sorry I didn't mean to bring those up."

Dimitri shook his head, "It's quite alright. I entrusted that information to you so it's okay for you to talk about it. Besides, we aren't out in public."

To Dimitri's surprise, Byleth's expression changed and he gave Dimitri a small smile. Despite it looking tired, any smile from Byleth was mesmerizing to him. Just then, Dimitri noticed something protruding from the side of Byleth's shirt. From what Dimitri could see, it looked like bandages were wrapped around Byleth's chest.

"Professor, pardon my intrusion but..were you injured?"

Byleth's eyes got wide and he quickly fixed his shirt to hide his bandages.

"No. It's complicated."

Dimitri looked at the heated stones in the center of the room and thought hard before opening his mouth again.

"You don't need to go into it if you do not want to. I just want you to know that you can confide in me if and when you want to. There are plenty of people here too that would be willing to lend an ear to you. Though sometimes keeping it to yourself feels safer at times. No one can judge you if they never know."

Byleth looked over at Dimitri in mild surprise. Despite Dimitri not knowing a thing, he sounded as if he truly understood the weight of his secret. Only 2 other people knew of it and their view of him had not changed in the slightest. Manuela had some choice words for him but that was all he could really complain about. He could only guess what words Sothis would have for him.

'Obviously he's safe to confess in. What are you waiting for? Tell him!'

Yeah that sounded right to him. Byleth folded his hands in his lap and averted his gaze from Dimitri before he spoke.

"I'm not hurt. The bandages are there for another purpose," Byleth hesitated for a moment, "To bind."

'To bind..?' Dimitri thought, 'But what could they-'

The placement of the bandages reappeared in Dimitri's mind and the pieces slowly fell together. While he did not know the professor so closely, it did make some sense given his demeanor at times with certain activities. He had figured Byleth just really liked privacy, which still held true, but it seemed like a necessity with such a secret.

"Does anyone else know?"

Byleth sighed, "Manuela. She eventually found out after tending to my wounds. My father knew of course and quickly accepted the fact. I think Rhea knows too.."

"That's right, she was there for your birth. I remember hearing about that during our mission in Abyss. I can't imagine how awkward that must feel, her knowing without even having to tell her."

"Honestly." Byleth leaned his head in his hand.

Byleth looked over at Dimitri once again. This was the first time he'd casually spoken about his status with someone. With Manuela it was more medical than anything and with his father...His father had just accepted that he was his son. Here was Dimitri, accepting it just as quickly as Jeralt once did. It was a little jarring but comforting in a sense. Instead of a tired smile, Byleth smiled genuinely in Dimitri's direction.

"Thank you."

Surely it was the sauna that made his face turn so red, at least that's what Dimitri would say. He returned the smile and the wheels in his head turned as they sat in silence.

"Professor, if I may," Dimitri sat up a little, "I know someone who could make you a safer binding garment as a replacement for those bandages. I've heard its a much safer and less painful alternative."

"If it's a stranger I don't think I could do it."

Dimitri shook his head, "No it isn't. It's Mercedes. She's already made such a garment for someone in the academy already. I won't out them because its up to them if they want to say it or not, but I digress. She'd quite fond of you and I believe she will have a similar reaction as I did. It's up to you but I highly suggest you at least consider it. For your safety. You should be allowed to do what you must to feel comfortable in your body, but you should also be allowed to have access to safer measures to achieve such comfort."

Dimitri was right in every sense. If such a thing existed, Byleth badly wanted it over the bandages and the chest pain they caused him. He couldn't just approach her by himself on such a matter. Would it be too much to ask Dimitri to accompany him for some of it? The last thing he wanted was Dimitri to see him without any bindings on. The question had a really hard leaving Byleth's lips the more he thought about it. He internally counted to 3 and let it leave him on 3.

"Dimitri would you mind coming with me to ask her?" Byleth said rather quickly, thankfully Dimitri appeared to understand him.

"Of course! I'd be honored." He smiled from ear to ear.

They left the sauna and separately went to go clean up. Dimitri couldn't stop smiling at how quickly Byleth's mood changed. He felt safe enough to tell him such an intimate secret and he even accepted his offer to help. If it wasn't such a secret, he would have gushed to Dedue. He quickly tried to come to his senses and finish rinsing his hair in case he made Byleth wait. Just as he was about to leave he could see a faint figure standing a few feet away from him.

"Do you deserve to be so happy? To feel such a way about your Professor.." He heard Glenn almost spit out.

Dimitri scowled and turned away from him.

"I'm making The Professor happy in his time of need," Dimitri muttered to himself, "I don't need any other reason to continue doing that."

He quickly got dressed and left the bathhouse without listening to another word of the dead. There sat Byleth in his usual attire with a book in his hand. He looked like he barely had time to really get into it. Byleth looked up at Dimitri, put his book away and got up from the bench.

"Sorry I made you wait."

Byleth shook his head, "No need."

Dimitri couldn't help but smile at his Professor's blunt tone. Anyone else might have seen it as a little rude, but Dimitri could tell at this point how Byleth was trying to come across. He simply joined Byleth on their walk to the Cathedral. They passed by a few other students but made it a point to not get side tracked. Mercedes sat in a pew with her head bowed in what seemed like a prayer. Marianne was not far away from her but Dimitri and Byleth made sure to not disturb her. Mercedes raised her head once she saw Dimitri and Byleth nearby.

"Oh! Professor, Dimitri, hello. Have you come to join the afternoon prayer?"

"Not today Mercedes. If it is not too much trouble, we'd like to ask for your assistance with something."

"Oh?" Mercedes slowly rose out of the pew, "With what?"

Byleth glanced around to see all who was in the Cathedral and shook his head.

"Could you meet us outside? It isn't something I want to say in front of other people.."

Mercedes smiled warmly and nodded, "Of course. I'll finish my prayer and meet you outside. I won't be long."

Dimitri bowed a little as thanks and departed with Byleth as they sat outside near the bridge. Just like Mercedes said, it didn't take her long to wrap up her prayer, and she quickly found the pair tucked away in a more private spot.

"Alrighty, I'm all ears. I don't know how much help I'll be, depending on what you want."

"Oh it's nothing outside your skills." Dimitri looked over at Byleth.

Byleth took a quick glance at Dimitri then at Mercedes. She was trust worthy, everything about her said so. Dimitri even told him that she's done this for someone before. Byleth got the assumption that Dimitri was not going to ask on his behalf. With a heavy sigh, Byleth tried to find his words.

"Would it be possible if you could make me a binding garment?" Byleth said quietly but loud enough for her to hear.

Mercedes' eyes widened for a moment then they almost seem to light up as she radiated a warm energy.

"Of course. I'm happy you came to ask me, Professor. I know it hasn't been easy for you this month, so you can count on me to make this as painless as possible. If you're free after dinner, I can take your measurements. I just need a few of them so it won't take me long and we can do it in my dorm so nobody sees."

Byleth smiled lightly in relief and nodded, "Thank you Mercedes."

"It's no trouble at all. I'll wait for you after we eat. I'm on greenhouse duty for today so I have to get going, I'll see you then!" Mercedes waved as she walked off to complete her chore for the day.

Dimitri grunted, "That's right, I completely forgot about weeding the courtyard with Sylvain today. I must apologize Professor, I have to get going right away or Sylvain will never let me hear the end of it."

"It's alright Dimitri. I won't take points off for this. You were a big help to me today so..Thank you. For everything," Byleth's brows raised in mild concern, "Dimitri are you still dizzy from the sauna? Your face is red."

"Ah! Ahaha I guess so. I better finish my task and perhaps rest for an hour or two," Dimitri turned back to Byleth, "Before I forget, thank you for confiding in me Professor. I hope it takes some weight off your heart to know you have people you can trust this secret with. I'll see you at dinner I hope. Good day, until then."

Dimitri smiled before walking off, leaving Byleth in the glow of the conversations he just had. Byleth held his hands to his chest and sighed in disappointment. If his heart had a beat, would it have been beating loudly right then? If only. He smiled to himself and leaned against the church's walls. His father would have been happy to see him like this, Byleth thought. He was getting closer to being happy in his own skin. Perhaps, he felt more alive in the presence of people who supported him. His lions had made him feel a variety of new emotions, perhaps one in particular made him experience a new one just then. Perhaps.

#fire emblem three houses #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #dimitri fire emblem #byleth eisner #male byleth #byleth fire emblem #dimileth #m dimileth #trans byleth eisner #trans byleth fire emblem #fanfic #kris got wordy again #binding

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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Hey there! Admittedly I'm a little bit nervous since this is my first ask, but I'll try to not be too rambly.

So, recently the main subreddit, r/RWBY, made a ban on active users of the r/RWBYcritics subreddit. As a result there's been discussion around bad-faith criticism in the latter subreddit. What are your takes on bad-faith criticism?

For me personally, I think a bunch of people are misusing the term "bad-faith" and using it as a way to shut down criticism, but I'm curious to hear your thoughts on it.

Hey there, everyone! We woke up to some drama this morning, huh? And hello to you too, Tortoise! I'm so glad you decided to send in an ask, even if it's following some pretty tumultuous events...

Right, I'd like to start with a story. The story of how I personally don't spend time on Reddit, but I have plenty of friends who will occasionally cross-post something for me to see. Yesterday (or the day before? Idk time is meaningless) a friend told me about a post — which, significantly, I'm now having trouble finding — that covers RWBY's inconsistent writing and the fandom's tendency to try and explain away those missteps. They'd thought I'd be interested because I'd just had a conversation here on tumblr where I made that exact point to someone who, also significantly, vehemently disagreed with me, but in a very civil fashion. Given everything going on, I feel like this side point needs emphasis: we debated, we did so in a sometimes heated, but nevertheless respectful manner, it was clear neither of us was going to sway the other, and the conversation ended. The two "sides" of the community interacted without Armageddon coming about.

But back to the purpose of this tale. I went to take a look at this point and found that it no longer exists. There's just some vague message about it not obeying the subreddit's rules. "What happened?" I asked. "Why'd they take the post down?" "People were getting too heated in the comments," my friend replies. So, given that the comments were still visible, I proceeded to read through them, expecting personal attacks, slurs, harassment, etc. Any number of things that would justify deleting the post itself to put an end to such behavior. Instead, I found a thread of people having a conversation. Was the conversation heated at times? Sure. Did one or two individual posters edge into the realm of petulant, "No. You're wrong and stupid" responses? Yes. Was any of this remotely what I was expecting given the post's removal? NOPE.

"This isn't allowed?" I said. "Well then what is? People were being civil! Or at least as civil as hundreds of strangers ever get when discussing a series they're passionate about online."

Then, this morning, I hear that the entire critic subreddit has been banned.

So to answer your question, Tortoise, I don't actually think that "good faith" criticism exists. Meaning, it's not just that fans are misusing the term "bad faith criticism," but rather that there is no unified, agreed up method of writing criticism that will meet their standards. It's not possible and we know it's not possible because fans have been trying to meet those elusive standards for years:

A fan posts nothing but praise for RWBY until changes make them criticize the show as it is now. Their entire body of work is dismissed as the product of a "hater," despite the overwhelming gap between positive and negative reviews.

A fan posts a review that's a pretty balanced mix between praise and criticism. They're dismissed because it's still too much criticism.

A fan posts a review that's 99% praise with 1% criticism. That's still too much, with fans focusing on the single problem they had with the work and using it as an excuse to dismiss the entire review out of hand.

(As an aside, the argument that critics are "obsessed" with only saying negative things and that the only problem here is that they're "too" negative ignores the argument that... RWBY has a lot of flaws nowadays. Few are willing to acknowledge the possibility that it's not fans insisting on making things up to be mad about/ignoring the good parts of the show, it's the that show is, as of now, legitimately more of a mess than it is a praise-worthy product. If I'd been writing recaps in the Volumes 1-4 days, my work would have been skewed far more towards the positive. The critics' stance is that RWBY has gotten worse, which yes, results a higher volume of critical posts. To say nothing of how criticism takes far longer to explain, likewise resulting in posts focused primarily on that side of the divide. I really enjoyed the image of a crying Jaune reflected in his sword. I did not enjoy that moment's context. Saying that you liked an animation choice is a one sentence thing. Explaining the complexities of Jaune securing emotional moments, the problems with Penny's second death, the hurt many fans experienced watching an assisted suicide, etc. takes a whooole lot longer. Hence, you get massive, multiple posts about these nuanced topics and fewer, smaller posts about the details that are working well.)

A fan talks about a topic that has been metaphorically banned by the fandom as a whole. They have something good to say about Ironwood. They dislike something about Blake/Yang. They enjoyed Adam as a character. They have a problem with Ruby's leadership, etc. There's a whole list of topics nowadays that will result in an automatic dismissal, regardless of the point the fan is trying to make or how well they make it.

A fan talks about the minority representation of RWBY — its black characters, its queer characters, its disabled characters, etc. — and as a result has something to say about the biases and missteps of those writing these characters. This is considered an attack on the writers and, therefore, automatically bad.

A fan talks about how they enjoyed RWBY as it was years ago and is having trouble reconciling the dark, complicated story with the simple, hopeful one we started out with. This is seen as an attack on Monty's vision and an unwillingness to accept that "everything is planned."

A fan does as asked and ensures that their post is meeting all the requirements of "real" criticism. They have an argument to make. They have a point. They provide evidence. They recommend a solution. They keep their tone respectful. They don't attack the creators. They provide disclaimers in every single paragraph about how they do not hate RWBY. It doesn't matter. They're considered too negative.

I have, quite literally, seen every one of the above examples on multiple occasions. I have had many of the above accusations leveled at my own work. When fans say that they're fine with criticism provided it's not "bad faith" criticism, they don't actually have a specific post-type in mind; a checklist of behaviors another fan can emulate and, provided they do that, no hate will come their way. Or, if an individual fan does actually go, "Yeah. That criticism I'm fine with" that response is in no way universal. One person's "They make a good, civil point" is another person's, "Omg stop bashing the show!" Because "bashing" has come to mean everything from curse-laden insults towards everything RWBY has ever done, to posts that just happen to say something other fans don't agree with.

It's a rigged game. There is no way to post criticism about RWBY in an agreed-upon, appropriate manner. This recent ban is proof of that. I think it's incredibly telling that almost immediately after I was going, "Wow. A pretty calm debate about the flaws of RWBY in the main sub. That's great to see," all posters from the criticism subreddit were banned. The main sub literally just had the sort of criticism that they claim to accept — people respectfully posting analysis-based arguments resulting in calm debate — and yet they implemented the ban anyway. I'm not going to pretend that I've never gotten too heated on my own posts, never made snarky comments when I'm frustrated, never used exaggerated reaction GIFs that can come across as insulting... but I'd say on the whole my RWBY work is precisely the sort of "good faith" criticism that other fans are supposedly looking for. I never make an argument I don't think I can back up with evidence. I try to allow for the nuance and differing opinions of complicated topics. I try — even if I don't always succeed — to write in a clear, respectful manner. Yet none of that work has stopped people from telling me I'm a "bitter... raging asshole," a "deranged, delusional psychopath," telling me to set myself on fire, threatening to smash my head in, or just messages to straight up kill myself. If someone like me who legitimately works hard to create fair, defendable criticism and who only ever posts on a personal blog that people can easily block, who never engages in debate until someone else starts it first, never seeks out other fans I disagree with to harass them about what they like... if someone like me is still a "bad faith" critic who "deserves" that kind of hate mail... then what kind of criticism do people want?

Nothing. That's the answer. No criticism whatsoever, of any kind, no matter if it's delivered respectfully, is making a good point, whatever. That's why "RWDE" was created. That's why the critic subreddit was created. The community at large has demanded a complete separation between Praise and Anything That's Not 100% Praise, which has now resulted in this ban. Any other explanations we see are excuses, which becomes glaringly obvious when you look at the mods' supposed reasons for implementing the ban:

"Constant arguments with r/RWBY users" - As opposed to the arguments surrounding things like shipping that never, ever happen?

"Vote manipulation and comment brigades" - The subreddit with 3,000 participants, with around 200 on at a time, is manipulating the votes of a subreddit with 155,000 participants, with over 1,000 on at a time? Those numbers just do not check out. If a positive post is downvoted, or a critical post upvoted, maybe that's because large swaths of the community actually agree/disagree with that assessment, not because the incredibly smaller group is somehow manipulating things.

"Attacking and harassing those they disagree with" — Again, as opposed to those non-critics that never, ever harass people? This is an individual problem, not a community problem. Both critics and non-critics have their sub-groups acting in ways they shouldn't. If anything, the main sub will have more individuals harassing other fans, simply by virtue of being so much larger. As the above examples attest, it's not other critics who have told me to light myself on fire and, just to be clear, the asks I've responded to are a miniscule number compared to the amount I've received. I delete the lion's share for my own sanity and to save my followers from reading the really graphic threats.

"Months-long NSFL spam brigades" — I am, admittedly, not sure what this is referring to. Spamming of NSFW content? If so, that's also an individual problem.

"Homophobic, transphobic, and racist attacks towards our users" — See the above points. Again. If someone is being homophobic, transphobic, or racist, then yes please, ban them. Don't ban an entire community for the actions of a few. It's like walking into a store and banning a customer for causing a scene... but then also banning everyone else who happened to be shopping at the same time. It's guilt by association.

The silver lining to all this? The community as a whole isn't pleased. At least according to the main subreddit comments and a few individual voices like MurderofBirds. Despite the increase (from my perspective anyway) of critical voices post-Volume 8, criticism of RWBY is still very much seen as taboo. As this ban showcases. But it's really reassuring to see so many fans, critics and non-critics alike, going, "This was a mistake." A community is meant to include all aspects of engagement: praise, criticism, and the gray area between. If anything, fans like the mods of the main subreddit should be creating a separate subreddit that is specifically for praise. In the same way that there should have been a tag for RWBY praise, rather than trying to eliminate any and all criticism from the main "RWBY" tag. The majority of fans, even those who claim to hate critics and all they (presumably) stand for, recognize that a blanket ban of all criticism is not the way to go, especially when "criticism" has come to have such a staggeringly broad definition. If you want your RWBY experience to be nothing but sunshine and roses (ha), then cultivate your own internet experience to reflect that. Create your own pockets with rules about how this is the space for praise and if you're not up for praising RWBY right now, don't interact with us in this particular space. Don't try to make the entire community — the main tools used to discuss the show online — conform to your preferences. As established, there is no "good" criticism that everyone in the fandom will accept, which just leaves a fandom with no criticism at all. I'm glad to see I'm far from the only one who, when presented with that extreme, is going, "Nope. No thank you."

#rwby #mymetas #suicide tw #rwde

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