#... anyways ice cream then paper then fuckin sleep

[partywithponies]

I think the next hot fanfic trope should be British seaside holiday fic.

Consider:

The squad staying in a caravan park together

Alternatively, the squad staying in a shitty crumbling B&B together

One half of your ship on the beach practically fully clothed, shoes still on, lying in a deckchair, pretending to read/sleep, and pretending they're definitely not watching the other half of your ship lounging on the sand in front of them wearing hardly anything at all and seductively eating a stick of rock

Your ship getting steamy together in a beach hut

A third character obviously overhearing your ship get steamy in the beach hut, because the walls of those things are paper thin

One character on the pier trying to eat fish and chips while getting absolutely mobbed by seagulls

One character on the seafront in the pouring rain with their coat on, still valiantly trying to eat an ice cream, because they're on holiday, dammit

One character paddling in the sea with their trousers rolled up to their knees but their jumper still on because it's fuckin freezing, but they're going to have a paddle anyway, because they're on holiday, dammit

Two characters wasting loads of time and money in the arcades even though all they end up winning is 4p, a packet of haribo, and a hilariously off-model knockoff Sonic the Hedgehog keyring

The squad all playing crazy golf together. One half of your ship bravely rescuing the other half's ball after it inevitably gets launched into the inexplicably neon blue water feature

Two characters arguing over whether they're going to send the one character who didn't come a tasteful postcard featuring a photo of a place they've actually been, or a cheesy rude smutty comedy postcard because "it's tradition!"

And so much more!

[just-aro]

either i will finish my finals or they will end me but either way what the fuck is sleep. can i have some.

#not aro #text #college #finals #i just went on a. hour and a half long walk? #its midnight now and time for me to finish this stupid project #and then when im done with that i will sleep #and when i wake i will desperately and miserably attempt to recram an entire semester worth of my hardest class into my head #and honestly if i pass thats great ill take it #because my other hardest class is the next day #and also cumulative #please understand me when i say that cumulative exams should not be allowef #that i mean exams are bullshit the psychology and science overall of them is bullshit #and i am ready to sleep eat ice cream cry and sleep in some order for sure #usually at least one class does not have finals #so of course the semester i take 5 that does not happen #... anyways ice cream then paper then fuckin sleep

[wherearemyglassesbro]

I have a question for the lawyer AU, if that's okay? For each of the defense attorneys and prosecutors, do they have an MO when they're in court? And/or, do any of them get really nervous before cases/in the courtroom and have ways to calm themselves down?

AYYYYY A LAWYER AU ASK!!!! ITS BEEN 84 YEARS!!!! SINCE IVE GOTTEN TO TALK ABOUT THIS AU LETS FUCKIN GOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Defense attorney Kirkland: Arthur is always a wreck before trials. He’s jittery and nervous, he rarely gets any sleep before trials so he’s up around 3am, pacing around his apartment and rereading every paper he can get his hands on. He practices talking in the mirror and washes his face multiple times to keep himself wide awake. Copious amounts of tea are consumed as well as an everything bagel....mmm...yum. He’s at the courthouse hours beforehand, sitting in his car reviewing paperwork. Again. In the courtroom, Arthur is very persistent. He’s always pressing for more information and wording things juuuuuust right in order to get the answers he needs from the witnesses. He often refers back to paperwork since that stuff is written out and is just...easy to go back to. He also just asks a lot of questions in general and once he gets answers, he’s ready to talk. This guy can talk for hours and hours, he’s great at it. He scores extra points with the jury just because he’s easy to listen to and trustworthy

Defense attorney Jones: Alfred isn’t a full fledged attorney yet, he’s shadowing Arthur so whatever Art does, he has to do. He has to get up at the butt crack of dawn to meet Art in the courthouse parking lot. Al gets himself a muffin and a Pink Drink and he’s ready to do. He’ll sit on the hood of Art’s car and just listen to him ramble lmao. Alfred is a very friendly guy, he’s open and looks trustworthy. He makes an effort to never look angry in court! He thinks getting upset or angry looks bad for the defense and he isn’t entirely wrong. He’s nice while asking questions, he asks things that are worded in a certain way so he’ll get an answer he’s looking for! He doesn’t get to talk too much since again, he’s still shadowing Art, but when he does everything is calculated. Cause Al is young....but...smart :)

Defense attorney Herdarvey: I did not spell her name right but anyway, Eliza is a feminist icon in her workspace. She is super organized and has very case she’s ever worked with/on in color coded binders. She is super intelligent and hard working!! In court, you’ll see her taking notes or flipping through her binder or twirling her pen between her fingers while she listens to the prosecution or the witness testimonies. She isn’t harsh while conducting cross examinations but she is very cunning when she wants to be. She’ll ask questions to purposely make the witness admit the truth which is very impressive, especially if the Braginskys are the prosecutors cause they...uh...’coach’ witnesses on what to say sometimes. Before going to court she drinks tea in her car by herself while listening to Led Zepplin to get fuckin HYPED UP!!! Then she’ll meet with her client again to hype them up ‘it’ll be okay! We’re gonna win this one, we have it in the bag no worries’. Then she cracks her neck, knuckles and knees. Now she’s ready to go.

Prosecutor Edelstein: Roderich has a SET routine for court days and he will get very cranky if he cannot fufil his routine. He goes to bed at 10pm and wakes up at 4am. He eats a croissant with some tea and then goes over the case file, autopsy report, evidence, anything he can. At 6, he gets ready for the day. At 6:45, he’s in the car debating with himself throughout the entire drive to the courthouse. He meets with his team and witnesses, who he makes get there early too, to talk and reassure. He’ll pace around the parking lot, or inside if it’s too hot, until his knees hurt lmao. He always takes three ibuprofen before any trial because he anticipates getting a headache. Now its showtime. Roderich is a man of mystery, he always has a trick up his sleeve. Vaugely worded questions to trip up the defense, additional evidence to present, hes done it all. He’s is a very fantastic talker, he can talk for hours and hours and to be honest??? He always sounds like he knows what he’s talking about. The jury loves that, especially if he’s going up against Kirkland or Jones, the jury usually ends up favoring Rod solely because he explains his points better or something like that.

Prosecutor Braginskya: Nat is a very strict lady, she has a VERY specific way of doing things. Like Roderich, she’s high strung and bossy. She sends emails out first thing in the morning to make sure that her team is ready to go. Usually they’re not at 5am. Cue instant frustration. She gives herself a temple massage and has an eclair before heading in. Early of course. She walks slow laps around the court building, muttering to herself, she’s walking in tennis shoes and switches back to heels once she goes inside. She doesn’t get nervous really but she feels a lot of pressure before a trial. She is very persistent when working against the defense, she always hurries to aid the witnesses so they don’t slip up and she often accuses the defense of badgering her witnesses. She is a very smart woman but she isn’t the most fantastic talker in the world. Lawyers talk for a living and Nat is just fine at it! She isn’t the best but she makes up for it with her professional, serious aura

Prosecutor Braginsky: Ivan...oh Ivan. Ivan wakes up at 6:30 on the dot, irons his suit and styled his hair. He doesn’t eat before trials because his stomach hurts when he’s nervous and that wouldn’t help him very much. He does drink a lot of water though! And crunches the ice. He’s at the courthouse 30 minutes before the trial, which is later than any other prosecutor, but he’s still early enough to consult his team! He talks to the witnesses again and reminds them not to talk TOO much or give TOO much information because ‘the defense will start to get to them’. In the courtroom, Ivan is always happy to listen to the defense. He always lets them talk and talk because when they do that, they sometimes talk themselves into a corner. Now thats when he strikes “oh? You’re sure it happened that way? Well I was under the impression....” he rarely objects or yells but he is intimidating without having to be loud. He smiles through most trials, not a super wide one but a soft, confident smile.

Prosecutor Bonnefoy: Francis is not very organized at all but he makes it work. He has his briefcase full of papers...and they’re out of order. Before every court day he gets up super early to pace around his apartment while yelling about why he thinks this person he’s prosecuting is guilty. An advantage he has is that he memorizes things very quick so even though he most likley lost his copy of the accident report, he remembers the whole thing. After pacing around for an hour he’ll leave, taking the freeway into work. He sings along with an opera CD in his fancy sports car while going fuckin 95mph. By the time he gets to the courtroom he’s no longer nervous. He consults his team, goes over the papers he can find, makes fun of the defense and then it’s time to fuckin go. He does a lot of talking which usually makes the defense nervous. He’s confident in everything he says and everything his witnesses say. He doesn’t coach them the Braginsky way but he does assure them ‘you don’t tell them anything they don’t need to know cher, really. If you give too many details they’ll rip you apart! That’s the way the defense works. So be vague when you can but not too vague. Got it?’. He makes a show of his prosecution really but it’s a strategy that works. He’s won a lot of cases that way

Judge Beilschmidt: I’m including Lud cause I didn’t want him to feel left out :) Before every case he hears, he always likes to sit in silence for a few minutes to clear his mind. He has deep breathing exercises on his phone so he’ll just listen for about 10 minutes, giving himself time to relax before the chaos begins. He then collects his papers, straightens them out and lint rolls his judge robes. Then he’s all ready to go. When in court, he is totally unbiased. He was trained to be unbiased and he is always willing to hear both sides so he tries to be quiet while others talk but if things get too rowdy he doesn’t hesitate to slam that gavel down “NO YELLING IN MY COURTROOM!!!!” Oop- so much for quiet. After hearing a case and the guilty or not guilty verdict is delivered, he almost always feels his stomach drop all funny cause he always worries if he did the right thing. His brain says yes, that was the right call. But deep down he’s always afraid that he’s a bad judge. When he goes home he lets his dogs and after a tough case, he makes himself a bowl of chocolate ice cream with whipped cream on top.

#lawyer au :) #aph #hetalia #ask away! #headcanons #hetalia headcanons #asks #aph france #aph england #aph america #aph russia #aph Belarus #aph austria #aph germany #aph hungary #hetalia writing #always up for hc requests!

[signed-yours-truly-the-whale]

Babes in Chuckletown

OHO BOY, am I angry.

I was in the middle of a very long chapter in my fanfic when my computer randomly decided to restart, costing me NOT ONLY a very long chapter, but the ENTIRE THIRTEEN-CHAPTER DOCUMENT. I thank god that I uploaded it all to AO3 up until the thirteenth chapter (which is going to be a pain the ass to rewrite), but now I have to go in and copy-paste, re-bold and re-italicize everything.

So that’s how my Halloween is going. Excuse me while I cry.

Anyway. Please enjoy this one-shot I’m making up on the fly about Arthur having no choice but bringing his small child to Ha-Ha’s because he has nobody to watch her. Me being in an angry mood helps me to channel Hoyt’s ... Hoytish-ness. Hoyt was definitely an asshole in the movie, but I feel like the lines “I like you, Arthur” and “I’m trying to help you” flew under the radar in light of his dickishness.

I’ve been wanting to write this for a while, I just have no conceivable idea where this would logically fit into my fanfiction, so I gift it here. I’ll let this be a birthday present for the incredible @funsizedshrimp, since they seem to love my Carrie Fleck as much as I do and I absolutely should return the favor for all the lovely art they gift to me. I love you lots, you wonderful person you.

__________________                ______________               __________________

“Hey Peanut, can you do me a favor?”

Arthur’s voice was soft, nearly indecipherable. The pudgy hand that had been grasping at his shirt collar suddenly pushed against him, exerting the energy to be able to lift her head up.

One bleary eye opened to look at him. Her cheek was rosy from her uneasy resting spot on his collarbone. Neither the time nor the place allowed for such coddling, but he continued to rock her on his hip uneasily.

“Mm?” she questioned.

“Can you put a hand over your ear?” he asked, softer still. “Daddy has to talk to someone and it might be a little loud. Not suitable for a baby’s ears.”

Although Carrie grumbled something that only he could decipher as “Not a baby,” she conceded. The sharp bone in her ear pressing against his collarbone hurt, but in the magical age where she began repeating every colorful phrase she heard from the television, he couldn’t risk anything.

Taking in a wavering breath, clutching the bag in his hand tighter, Arthur opened his boss’ door.

“Oh, how fucking nice of you to ... what the fuck is this?”

Hoyt looked up from his stack of documents -- chiefly the words complaint, absence, and Carnival bore into his head from a yellow slip on his desk -- to see Ha Ha’s resident hooky flinch in protest. What he first thought was an overgrown ragdoll, he realized with some incredulity was a toddler, pressing its head into Arthur’s neck.

“You brought a fucking kid into my shop?” he asked, voice rising.

“Hoyt ... please --”

“Please what? This should be good.”

It gave him no pleasure to watch Arthur be so hopelessly awkward, dropping the paper bag in a vain attempt to hike the kid further up on his person. He knew the guy was going through a rough patch with the wife. That it happened on Hoyt’s dime, though, made him hard to sympathize with.

Fumbling for something to do besides stand uncomfortably and rock his daughter into a sleep that she couldn’t attain, Arthur sat in the green chair across from Hoyt’s desk. He positioned Carrie to be able to rest easier in his lap. At a groggy whimper, his hand instinctively pressed against her arm, hoping it would keep her semi-warm. He didn’t know why Hoyt kept the AC on at all hours of the day.

“Well aren’t you a real mother hen,” Hoyt observed, devoid of anything Arthur could recognize as a positive emotion. “What’s it doing here?”

“I ... I had no other options,” he blurted out. “I can’t afford another day off work, but I have nobody to watch her.”

“Do I look like I’m runnin’ a charity ward, Arthur?” Upon further thought, “You didn’t bring her through the locker room, did you?”

“Nobody else is here,” he said quickly, realizing how bad that might’ve sounded once it reached his own ears. “And I made her close her eyes.”

Two scraggly grey eyebrows rose in vague surprise.

“Your mistake, not mine.”

Arthur felt the tips of his ears burn, unsure if he guessed correctly what Hoyt was referring to. Carrie may have been a surprise, but she was no mistake.

“How are you supposed to keep track of the kid on assignment?” Hoyt questioned, flitting through the ever-expanding pile of papers on his desk. “You’re booked for Amusement Mile today. That’s fuckin’ dangerous.”

Awkwardly, Arthur cleared his throat, feeling unable to meet Hoyt’s disbelieving eyes. His fingers rubbed Carrie’s arm up and down. She burrowed further into the crook of his neck, keeping her hand dutifully over her ear as promised. Her face was hidden from view by a crop of blonde hair -- the little veil he had left that kept work and home as two separate realities.

“I - I, um ...” A giggle got caught in his throat, as thick as a billiard ball. He forced it down. “I was wondering if I could keep her here. Just ... just for --”

“What?”

“Just for today, a -- and tomorrow, I’ll be sure --”

“Are you stupid?” Hoyt cuts in, and Arthur’s hand moves from his daughter’s arm to the small hand over her ear like a reflex. “You’re not serious, are you?”

“W -- well, Randall brought in his kid a few w -- weeks ago ... I thought maybe ...”

“Randall’s kid is twelve already, not three.” Hoyt heard a soft mutter of “she’ll be five soon,” as if it would sway the argument in Arthur’s court at all. “What the hell are you thinking in that fucked-up head? No relatives, no friends?”

“Nobody,” he said, and it surprised Hoyt that he hadn’t seen Arthur ... quite so sad before. He’d been sad, sure, but not pitiful. He couldn’t be more pitiful if he was dressed as Carnival doing this begging. “My -- my wife just left, I don’t know where she is. My in-laws are on vacation in Burbank and my mom is in the hospital. The neighbors won’t take her and -- and the preschool is closed ‘cause of a rat infestation. Hoyt, I’m ... I’m begging you.”

Something about the sight was so pitiful, so unfunny in his desperation, that Hoyt narrowly refrained from cutting back with My mistake for thinking you’d have friends.

“Mmf, Daddy,” the source of the frustration croaked. “My arm hurts. Can I put it down?”

“Yeah, Peanut,” he said quietly. The hand slid out from underneath his warm palm and found its way around his neck once again. A thumb brushed away a few strands of hair from her face, unveiling a curtain for her to view this strange new room.

Hoyt almost let slip a surprised “holy shit” as the kid’s head rose to look around the office, wide-eyed in her wonderment, but he thought better of it. But holy shit, did she look like Arthur, in eyes and face shape at least. Slap on a greasy brown wig and she could’ve been a pint-sized clone.

“A jack in the box,” she said quietly, pointing at the dumb clown statue out of his sight in front of his desk. “Daddy, jack in the box.”

“Yeah, Carrie, I see.”

Hoyt bit his lip, at a loss. It was always harder to turn a kid away when he had a name and a face to set to them. Until then the kid could’ve been a delusion for all he knew, the way Arthur talked about her like there was no god damn tomorrow. Who on this green earth would ever think to --?

Ugh. Fuck.

“You owe me, Arthur. Big time.”

____________________

Nine in the morning rolled around to a relative calm. The kid was, to his relief, quiet and weedy for the most part, like her quiet, weedy father. A long stretch of silence ensued -- half-hour? Two hours? He didn’t fucking know -- where the rhythmic punching of the time cards from the locker room and pen (or crayon) on paper substituted for awkward and mindless conversation he didn’t want to indulge in.

His only indication that she was there at all was the knowledge that his door hadn’t opened since Arthur hurried out to get ready and dropped her in Hoyt’s proverbial lap (had it been a literal instance, he might’ve tossed the kid through the window on reflex), and the occasional kicking of leather sandals and bell bottom pant legs barely visible from his vantage point.

“Hey, don’t get any crayon on my floor,” he warned, wondering internally if she made up for in mischief what she lacked in outward annoyance.

“I won’t,” she replied, too high and cheery for nine in the morning. “I draw pictures to stop Daddy being sad.”

Well isn’t that just fucking lovely. But he had a schedule to amend.

He could send Arthur to the kids’ hospital in Randall’s place -- the kids seemed to really respond to Arthur better ... god, why did Randall have to be such an obnoxious prick of a clown with the kids? It was getting harder and harder to place him--

The rustling of paper and a soft grunt made him look up. Hiding her face from his view, the kid was holding up a drawing of ... colored dots? Big whoop.

She pointed to a bright green one, taking up the center of the page.

“That’s -- that’s my daddy at work,” she explained. He raised a brow. Quite a likeness. “And that’s me, with an ice cream.”

Her little pointer finger trailed to the scribble next to the green -- a flurry of yellow and brown and pink. Was that what she’d spent the last hour on?

“What’s that then?” he asked before he could stop himself, not realizing any words had left his mouth at all until the cap of a chewed blue Bic pen tapped against a blue scribble, neatly tucked away in a folded corner.

“That’s my mommy,” she explained, as casual as though he’d asked for the time. Oh. “She’s taking a break.”

He nodded, not trusting himself to say something he might regret in the hours to come. Before coming to the realization that it was not his business nor his time to care, a question flitted through his mind if Arthur had told the kid about her mom at all.

“I got work to do,” he settled. “Read a book or something.”

____________________

Hoyt never thought he’d ever be disappointed to have a knock on the door that wasn’t Arthur.

“C’min,” he said distractedly.

“Hoyt,” Gary said. “Barney needs the key to the storage closet. Forgot his shoes at home.”

“Second time this week,” Hoyt tutted. Standing up, he allowed himself a stretch that popped his back in several satisfying places, and reached for the key under the strip of tape marked STORAGE. “Tell him this had better be the last damn time.”

“I’ll try.”

Their eyes, as though having just materialized in the room, landed on the girl, still lying on the floor but looking up at Gary, saying nothing. Gary’s face softened.

“Oh, hello,” he said amiably. “Is this your daughter, Hoyt?”

Don’t ever say something like that again --

“Nah.” He shook his head and sat back down. “Arthur’s kid.”

A moment of recognition passed where Gary’s eyes lit up like a damn Christmas tree. His smile grew wider.

“So this is the Carrie we’ve heard all about,” he exclaimed, sticking his hand out. “Pleased to meet you, Miss Fleck.”

At the lack of response, Hoyt looked over the desk. A blonde crop of hair was unmoved, and even quieter than she’d been before.

“Didn’t your daddy teach you not to stare?” Hoyt probed.

“She’s alright, Hoyt,” Gary countered, keeping his eyes on the girl. “She’s still very young.”

No time like now to teach ‘em not to stare

“Thanks, Hoyt,” Gary continued. At the door frame again, he smiled once more at the kid. “It was very nice to meet you, Carrie.”

The door closed. As if cued by the click of the lock, she turned quickly to Hoyt.

“He was small!” she whispered.

“Yeah, and you’re rude.”

“How rude?”

“It’s fuckin’ rude to stare at him ‘cause he’s short,” Hoyt snapped, pulling yet another litany of papers in a barely-together manila folder from an overstuffed desk drawer. “He doesn’t stare at you ‘cause you’re a girl.”

“But that was scary.”

“There’s a lot scarier guys to be on the lookout for, kid.”

“Who?”

Your daddy, for one.

“I don’t wanna be rude,” she said quietly, beginning to stand. She swiped a bit of dust from the knee of her bell bottoms, putting a nagging word in the back of his mind to sweep the office soon. “I wanna be like my daddy. He’s nice.”

He looked at her briefly before returning to his papers again. Crudely and off-tune, he made out that she was attempting to whistle the Andy Griffith theme.

Andy Griffith. Sheriff Barney Fife. God damn you, Gary.

The back of a blonde head was cast in varying shades as she stood in front of the window slats, drawing a little pointer finger over the sharpie-marked letters. MIME. WHITE FACE PAINT

I have no doubt you’ll be exactly like your daddy. Good luck with that.

____________________

Two o’clock gave Hoyt his first opportunity to get a real look at the Fleck girl. That still felt weird to say.

“Here,” he said stiffly, digging into his back pocket to produce two dimes. “Go down the hall ‘til you reach the Pepsi machine and get us two sodas. It’s lunch time.”

She swiped the dimes from his hand. The contact of nails against his palm made him shiver more than he expected. She felt startlingly real.

A few hesitant steps later -- and he really had to question how poor Arthur was that she looked at the dimes like she’d never seen them before -- she turned to look at him. The pink clip holding her bangs back suddenly bobbed on her head.

“Daddy not let me have soda,” she said.

“Your daddy’s out working. Skedaddle.”

“But what if he come and sees?”

She was lucky her little girl charm made up for the annoying inconsistency of her grammar. If there was one thing Hoyt hated, it was inconsistency.

“We got two hours ‘til you gotta worry about that.”

He looked down again, swiping a red mark through Randall’s name. Another complaint from a kid’s parent from the latest birthday party. God damn --

A clanking made him look up, and sigh. She couldn’t reach the door handle.

“Every paper I can’t sign ‘cause of lookin’ after you is coming out of your daddy’s paycheck,” he threatened, standing to open the door.

The kid was made all the more startlingly real, assaulting his senses as he had to grab her arms and push her forward to get her to stop gawking at the animal statues and props in the storage closet that swallowed the hallway. At least the locker room was empty.

What the fuck are you thinking bringing her here, Fleck?

Leaning against the opposite wall, he watched with waning curiosity as she rushed over to the machine, concluded she was too short to reach the buttons, and pulled over a yellow chair (the uneven wobbly one that grated on his nerves to hear scraping against the ground in uneven increments) to stand on. Licks of curls rested on her shoulders, reminding Hoyt of her mop-headed father.

Rushing back to him, she triumphantly handed him a blue Pepsi can, keeping the Mountain Dew for herself. Eh, he’s had worse.

“Stay,” he said gruffly, unsure of what else to say. He was more accustomed to dogs than kids, but felt satisfied by her listening skills when she climbed into the yellow chair next to the black trunk-table.

Two minutes later and he found himself in the impossibly weird scenario of not only having lunch outside of the comfort of his office, but tossing a banana to a kid who, by all the laws of nature, should not really be allowed to exist. Cute as she may be, to see physical proof of Arthur Fleck’s sex life made it hard to look at her for more than a few seconds.

Hoyt looked anyway, a little annoyed at her inability to open the soda can with her frail little finger. Weak like her damn dad. He swiped it, opened it with a secretly satisfying hiss, and watched her take a great sip. Scrunching her nose -- thank god for her, it wasn’t like Arthur’s -- she stuck her tongue out in derision before reaching over to set it on the table.

Hoyt switched the cans. He hated Pepsi anyway.

He also hated bananas, and the leftover couscous his wife made the previous evening. Mentally he made a note to pack his own damn lunches from then on.

So the banana went to the kid, less out of concern for her eating and more as a means to stop any bellyaching from either her or his wife later.

“So your dad doesn’t let you have soda,” he found himself asking. Why his brain was unable to catch up with his mouth, he wasn’t really sure.

Through a mouthful, she shook her head at him. Swallowing down a sizeable bite, she said, “The sugar bad for my heart.”

“Hmm.”

“My mommy let me have soda, though,” she said, perkier now in a way that made him feel a little rigid. “She likes Coke.”

Hoyt held back a snort of derision and surprise. There were funnier things to mock Arthur about than his wife hitting it big and leaving. Coke was for the rich, he knew. Poor people ... drank Pepsi, he supposed, looking at the kid and the soda can again.

She seemed much more content with the Pepsi can. Metaphorical? Maybe. He was never one to think of analogies -- nor did he really care.

At the sound of the entrance banging open, her eyes widened and she went red. Her hands stayed firmly around the soda can as her proverbial cookie jar.

Whatever jaunty tune Randall was whistling as though he wasn’t twenty minutes late was cut short upon making eye contact with the kid. Hoyt saw something that looked friendly, but not in the same fashion that maybe Gary had in mind.

“Didn’t realize you paid for ‘em so young, Hoyt.”

An inexplicable burning sensation flared in the tips of Hoyt’s ears.

“It’s Arthur’s kid, now fuck off,” he said quickly. “And you’re late.”

“Car broke down again.”

“Well get it fixed, or don’t let it break down on my time.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Randall sighed, breezing past them with his nicotine-smelling clown suit in hand, chief of the parents’ complaints.

The girl’s eyes trailed after the huge man, staying on the hallway long after he’d left. She leaned in just after he took in a mouthful of cold, crunchy couscous.

“What did he mean?” she asked quietly.

“Don’t ask questions.”

____________________

Hoyt’s leg bounced, eyeing the clock out of his peripheral. If Arthur believed Hoyt was letting himself be saddled with the kid for one minute past four o’clock, he was really out of it.

The kid was getting restless, and relentlessly annoying. She surprised him with her expert knowledge on blowing up and tying balloons -- of course Arthur would teach her that, what a valuable life skill -- but the inefficient scraping of two ends of a tightly-woven balloon into a barely-decipherable balloon animal made him wanna pop the thing right in her face. God damn, why did he keep a pile of them within her reach?

She made a snake, she declared. Or a worm.

Upon reaching for another one, it came with an unnecessary avalanche of wormy friends as the corner of a plastic bag scattered a cluster of colored balloons on the carpeted floor.

“Shit,” he grumbled, rounding the desk to collect them. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her put back the one she’d originally grabbed. “You’d better hope your dad has money to pay for new balloons, kid.”

“Shhh ...” His eyes narrowed at her, watching her lean down with him to collect handfuls -- albeit smaller handfuls -- of long balloons. “Shit. Shit, shit, shit.”

____________________

Two minutes to four, Arthur came into the office, looking like a man on a mission. It was to his visible relief, Hoyt noticed, that the kid was happy and very much alive.

“Daddy!” she exclaimed, hopping from the chair to take aim around his pant leg, leaving her picture book on the ground. A hand stroked some hair behind her ear and she smiled sappily up at him. “I drew you pictures and -- and I made you a balloon snake, but it popped.”

Groaning, he pried her arms away and bent down to her level.

“Were you good for Hoyt?” he asked, the faintest smile threatening to split on his face. Eight hours of work would not stop him from enjoying how soft her hair was, or how she smelled like cherries when she hugged his hulking, sweaty form.

“Just aces,” Hoyt smiled cloyingly, twisting a pen cap between his fingers. “Get a sitter for her tomorrow or don’t bother coming in.”

“That good, huh?” Arthur questioned, groaning again in achy protest as he stood up. “I’ll find a sitter for her, I promise.”

____________________

Three hours and two much-needed baths later, Arthur was finding a familiar rhythm in twirling his best girl around their little living room, not minding that he got lost in the mask he wore in front of her. Their old turntable warbled and scratched, but he scarcely noticed.

Carrie didn’t smile at anybody the way she smiled at him. He hoped she knew the flip side to that was true as well.

Que sera sera

Whatever will be, will be

The future’s not ours to see

Que sera sera

“I talked with Mom on the phone today,” he mentioned, watching her face brighten into a widening grin. “She said she wants to meet up with us to take you to lunch on Saturday.”

“Is she come back?” she asked. With her left hand enveloped in her father’s, she shifted her right arm so it rested against his chest and she could lean back to look at him. His face fell slightly.

“No, Peanut, I don’t think so. But you’ve been doing so well with school ‘til it closed, I thought you could tell her all the new rhyming words you learned. You learned what rhymes with bit, didn’t you?”

Her eyes traveled up to the ceiling, scrunching her nose to remember.

“Split,” she concluded, aglow in his proud smile. “Now you.”

“Befit. You?”

“Uh ... grit.”

At a very inelegant dip, which sent her into shrieking giggles as she felt her ponytail brush the floor, he said, “Banana split.”

“That doesn’t count!” she laughed.

“Oh, really? How does it not count?” he humored.

“Cause I said split! No cheating!”

“Then tool kit,” he smiled. “But now you have to think of two words.”

“Quit, and ...” She stopped to consider. “Oh, I learned one today! Shit.”

____________________

“Hoyt?”

“What do you want?”

Arthur looked from the paper in his hands, to the area of space between his person and the paper, filled in by the sight of his feet doing an awkward little soft shoe. Should he even question Hoyt about this? He was as honest as he could be, but something about this didn’t seem to add up.

“It’s just, uh ... my paycheck seems higher than it should be?”

“Is that a problem?”

“Well, no, but --”

“Then what is it?”

A nervous sweat started to form at Arthur’s hairline.

“It’s just that ... I did the math, and -- and it looks like you paid me for one of the days I didn’t work.”

“Are you tellin’ me you don’t think I did my math right? Go get a fuckin’ bank job if you think you know better.”

“So ... I’m -- I’m fine if I deposit the two hundred from the check?”

“Your money,” Hoyt grumbled, signing away another mindless paper. For being a clown business, he sure did have a shitload of paperwork. “Pay your rent, buy a hooker, some booze ... a snazzy divorce lawyer.”

Turning, Arthur felt something air-light in his chest, still disbelieving of the good fortune.

I can pay the rent, he registered. I can pay the rent and I can buy Carrie some new toys.

“Hey, how’s the little ankle-biter, by the way?”

He turned again, slower.

“What?”

“Kelly, the -- the kid you brought in on Monday. Raised hell in my office.”

“Oh ... Carrie?”

Arthur looked down at his shoes again, smiling. Staying with his mom and her newly-broken arm, bellyaching about wanting Hoyt at her babysitter again because “Nana can only make TV dinners.”

“She’s just aces.”

#arthur fleck #dad!arthur fleck #hoyt vaughn #joker #joker 2019

[regular-nessian-trash]

It’s Vegas, Baby - Chapter II

Summary: Nesta goes out to the store and so does Cassian. Classic Nesta, she thinks he’s stalking her. Trust me it’s more interesting than it sounds lol(I hope)

Word Count: 2k

A/N: I'm back on my grind yall *sunglasses emoji*

Nicknames:

Feyby- Feyre(its supposed to be like feyre and baby put together cause shes the baby of the family)

Nestella- Nesta(its supposed to be nesta and nutella. u will learn more later;)

Tiny Ancient One- Amren(kinda self explanatory)

Mor Boobiez Plz- Mor(idk i just thought it was funny lol)

"I'm home!" Nesta calls out to Feyre. She can smell pizza and instantly strides towards the kitchen, where she finds Feyre with a large cheese pizza still in the box, half-eaten.

"Finally! I was beginning to wonder if you and Cassian finally acknowledged the sexual tension between yourselves and fucked."

"Feyre! That is not appropriate to say at all! Cassian and I are barely colleagues, we will never be anything so stop with your meddling!" Nesta replied, trying to will down a bright red blush. Feyre and her boyfriend, Rhys, had this insane idea that she and Cassian were made for each other, it didn't help that Cassian was constantly flirting with her either.

"We're back!" Mor and Amren had just gotten home from some party, with Mor holding Duchess, their shared Chinese Crested Dog. When the four of them bought a penthouse together Feyre and Mor wanted a dog, and Nesta and Amren didn't. After begging and pleading with her sister and friend to please give him away after they adopted him they finally decided to just lock her, Amren, and Duchess in a room together. They all became friends, and they found out that Duchess was, in fact, a boy. They had been calling him Duchess for too long, though, so when they called him Duke he wouldn't reply so the name just stuck. When the rest of their inner circle found out-"the rest" being Cassian, Azriel, and Rhys- they didn't stop teasing them for days. In their defense, he had a very small you-know-what and he was a very ladylike boy.

"Bring my baby boy to me! Oh I wove you so much you wittle cutie pie!" Feyre was letting Duchess lick her face, making Nesta gag. Sure she loved the dog, but seriously, he licks his butt.

"Ugh, Mor, your cousin is working me to the bone! And he won't stop trying to push me and Cassian together! He thinks he can push us together just cause we “have hella sexual tension”! Also, I was thinking about this last night, Rhys is dating Feyre and if I'm Feyres sister and he's Cassians brother, that's literally incest!"

"You know they aren't actually brothers, right? They're just best friends." Mor replied, trying not to laugh at Nesta's flustered expression. She put down Duchess and reached for a slice of pizza. Everyone knew that it was just a matter of time before Nesta and Cassian got together. Nesta and Mor were the only single people in the house, not including Duchess. And Mor was just recently dumped so she was in a big love life meddling mood. Amren was dating some guy named Varian, and Feyre... Well, let's just say that it's a miracle that she's here right now and not out getting nailed by Rhys.

"I know that, but still. They refer to themselves as brothers."  

"So you're saying that if they didn't call themselves brothers you would have sex with Cassian! I knew it!"

"No, Feyre, I am not saying that! Besides, he flirts with everyone so even if I was into him- which I am not - we probably wouldn't become a thing."

"Keyword being probably." Mor says with a smirk.

"Enough of all this bickering, I'm hungry and bored so someone turn on the T.V. while I make some popcorn." Amren quickly breaks them up before Nesta tears off someone's head.

~~~~~

Cassian pulled up at the townhouse he shared with his brothers. All the lights were turned off which meant that Az was sleeping, or not home. The former was more likely because Az usually got pizza on his rest nights and there were three cold slices of meat lovers pizza left. Cassian was so hungry, he ended up eating them cold. He fought back a moan at how delicious the pizza was. He would never understand how Nesta was able to be a vegetarian. Shit. He had been such a dick to Nesta earlier. She was genuinely concerned about him and he had just pushed her away.

Cassian pulled out his phone and checked instagram. Mor had posted a photo of her and Amren with their dog, Duchess, at a party. He didn’t know if he should laugh or cry at the fact that a misgendered dog had a better social life than he did.

~~~~~

“Ugh, Feyre, Tomas and his little gang showed up at work last night.” Nesta and Feyre were chilling in the kitchen, the latter making a breakfast spread that would put Disney Channel moms to shame. Amren and Mor were nursing killer hangovers, so Feyre made sure to bang around a ton in the kitchen.

“Again? A-fucking-gain? Nuthin new, nuthin changed? Same old shit. Same old fuckin shit.” Feyre replied, forgetting that Nesta had no idea what that reference meant.

“I told them to leave and that I almost had the money to pay them back, but Tomas just slapped my ass and said ‘sEe YoU oN yOuR nExT sHiFt’ then he got up and left.”

“You do realize that we could end all of this by just telling Rhys? I know you have this whole thing about your pride and shit, but we could tell Rhys and he could pay off all your debts to him.”

“Feyre, I appreciate it, but I need to fight my own battles. I got myself into this mess, so I sure as hell can get myself out of it. Plus, I don’t like the idea of feeling like I owe my current employer money.”

“Nesta, sweetie, I love you… BUT YOU NEED TO PUT YOUR DAMN PRIDE TO THE SIDE FOR LIKE, TWO SECONDS AND ACCEPT HELP!”

“FEYRE-”

“Okay, can we yell about Nesta's issues at some time other than 6am? Also, is that bacon I smell?” Mor walked in holding her head and wearing one of Nesta's sweatshirts with some leggings.

“Yes, fattie. And it’s like, 10:30.” Feyre slapped Mor's hand away from a stack of pancakes cooling on the countertop.

“And I do not have any issues, Mor. I’m not the one that went partying with a dog last night.”

“Nesta, that is exactly the reason why you have issues. If you went partying with Duchess, maybe you would loosen up a bit. God knows you need it.”

“Brat.” Nesta threw a piece of toast at Mor's head.

“Thanks! Hey, Feyre, pass the butter.” Feyre slid the butter across the counter and cursed loudly when it just slid on the floor at Mor's feet. Facedown.

“Really, Feyre?” Nesta said in an exasperated tone.

“I’m sorry! I thought she would catch it!”

“That was our last stick of butter, you absolute dingbat!” Nesta sighed and picked up the keys to her car.

“Where are you going?” Mor asked, ever the worried friend thinking she had caused a family feud.

“To the store. We need more milk and eggs anyways. Tell me if you guys are gonna go out while I’m gone.” Nesta walked out the door of their spacious apartment and made her way over to the elevator, pressing the ground level button. She stormed over to her car, got in, and slammed the door shut. On her way to the store, she noticed that one of the local book stores was having a sale. She tried to ignore the voice in her head telling her that she had piles of unread books in her room, and all over the other communal areas of the apartment. She would just pop in after picking up the groceries. No big deal. She could restrain herself. Maybe.

~~~~    

Cassian woke up and made his way down the stairs towards the kitchen at 10am.

Hey sorry don’t be mad but here’s the shopping list. I had to go out.

~Azriel

“Unbelievable.” Cassian sighed and picked up the piece of paper attached to Azriel's little note and crumpled it up. Then he uncrumpled it because he remembered he needed to see what it said. Cassian walked up to his room and threw on a sweatshirt, some slip-on vans, and grabbed his keys. He couldn’t remember why they decided to share groceries. He wanted to in the beginning, but now that he woke up without any food in the house because his brothers had eaten all of it he was thinking or re-evaluating that decision. Cassian slid into his car and made his way to the store.

~~~~

When Nesta pulled up at the store she checked her phone and saw that Feyre had sent her a text while she was driving.

Feyby*: heyyyyyyyyy nes can you pleeeeeeeeeease get me some chocolate while you’re out :)?

Nestella*: k. anything else? im walking in now by the way

Feyby: nope! thank you love you! :)

Nestella: love you too

Nesta made her way towards the dairy aisle and picked up some 2% milk, a pack of four sticks of butter, and eggs. She quickly walked over to the candy aisle and began studying all her options, she took candy selecting very seriously.

“Nes?”

~~~~

Cassian walked into the store and quickly picked up all the stuff on the list. Once he got to the last few items written he realized he wanted ice-cream for a movie night with the boys. He walked over to the dairy aisle and picked up a tub of cookies n’ cream right when Nesta Archeron stormed past him towards the candy aisle. He followed her because, well, he wanted to talk to her. But he needed to act like he wasn't stalking her cause she might yell at him.

“Nes?”

“Mother Above, Cassian! You scared the shit out of me don’t you dare do that ever again!”

Oh well.

“How did you not hear me coming? Are you really that focused on chocolate?”

“I’m selecting some chocolate for Feyre, and she is very picky so I was focused on reading what the ingredients were in each bar.” She seemed to have recovered from the scare because she just grabbed a random chocolate bar and stormed past him.

“Obviously you don’t care that much if you’re willing to just grab a random bar and walk away!” Cassian yelled at Nesta. Some other shoppers began to stare at him so he quickly said “Don’t worry, we work together. I know her, I’m not some random creep haha.” That just got him more strange looks though so he just made his way towards self-checkout and paid for the items and skirted outta there.

~~~~

Nesta was so embarrassed while walking away from Cassian. People were staring at her! Ugh, Cassian needs to learn to not yell in public places. She walked over to her car after checking out and loaded her groceries into the boot. She needed a black iced coffee stat. Nesta began the quick drive to one of the local coffee shops and once she arrived she quickly sent the girls a text letting them know where she was.

Nestella: hey bitches im getting coffee you hoes want anything

Feyby: i want a mocha frappe pleeease              

Tiny Ancient One*: just get me a black americano girl

Mor Boobiez Plz*: i wanna iced coffee with whipped cream and caramel

Nestella: okay for everyone except Mor cause wtf that's not even an item on the menu

Mor Boobiez Plz: it is i swear! just ask them for it they did it when i asked!

Nestella: fine

“What can I get for you?” The guy working the register asked in a very monotone voice.

“One black iced coffee, one black americano, one mocha frappe, and one iced coffee with whipped cream and caramel sauce.”

“We don’t do that last one-” Nesta gave him a withering glare and he immediately changed his mind on what he was about to say.

“Those will be ready soon ma’am. Can I get a name for the order?”

“Nesta. Thank you.” Nesta walked over to the opposite side of the counter to wait while their coffee was being prepared.

“That was quite impressive the way you scared him into doing what you wanted him to, Sweetheart.”

“Cassian! Are you stalking me? Go away.”

“I’m not stalking you, I’m just here to get some coffee.” He smirked at her and picked up a latte that was set down beside him. He took a sip and looked Nesta up and down before smirking and saying “Hot.” he winked at her and left before she could yell at him. If he was being honest the coffee was actually the perfect temperature, but he just loved getting under Nesta Archerons skin.    

#nessian #acotar #Feysand #puppy #coffee #groceries #penthouse #townhouse #azriel #nesta archeron #archeron sisters #sister love #mor #amren #varian #feyre archeron #rhysand #cassian #duchess #just best friend things #random tag #ok im done now

[bnhareads]

Hello welcome! How about prompt number 53 with Bakugou, Todoroki and Shindou? Thank you very much :) 🍦

Your welcome!!! Love the ice cream!

~

Bakugou:

A silly, silly drinking game paired with silly, silly drinks and silly, silly kids lead to… Kirishima coming up with a brand new game.

“Okay!” He called excitedly, clapping his hands together. “Here’s the game! Two people will sit in these chairs, facing each other. The goal is to get the other person to blush bright red! But the catch? Only with words!”

There were some groans and some giggles, but nonetheless, everyone ended up throwing their names into the cup to be picked. With your luck, you got picked first. And with your good luck, Bakugou got picked as well. 

Sitting straight up and confident in your seat, you smiled across at the grumpy blonde. The moment his eyes connected with yours, he snatched them away, looking to the other side of the room with his arms crossed.

“Looks like it’ll be an easy round for, _______! Bakugou’s already blushing!” Kaminari laughed, nugging your shoulder with his red solo cup.

“I am fucking not!” He barked, facing you with new vengeance in his eyes.

“And begin!” Kirishima stated.

Complete silence.

“Well, are you gonna start, dumbass? Or should I fucking just end this already.”

“Wow, Bakugou.” You laughed. “You really know how to seduce me!”

Was he blushing already? “S-shut up, you fucking idiot!”

“Nooooo, Baki!” You cooed, reveling in the fact his blush was growing. “You know…. I never realized how big your arms are! No wonder your suit doesn’t have sleeves! Your biceps would just break right through~!” You winked, earning you a confused face and even redder cheeks. The nickname itself had him flustered, the compliment was just sending him over the edge. “Do you realize what’s going on, Baki? I’m flirting with you. It doesn’t involve insults! Come on. Give it a try and I may just give you a try~!”

Like a kettle at it’s hottest point, it was almost as if Bakugou was steaming. He was sputtering and looking at you all over, ready to combust at any moment. 

“Okay, enough, enough! We don’t want to kill the damn guy!” Kaminari. 

“Think you’re fuckin’ funny, huh? I’ll show you funny.” Was all you heard him growl before he grabbed your arm and lead you to the other room.

Todoroki:

Having Todoroki agree to tutor was step 1 in your immaculate plan. Step 2? Well… you hadn’t gotten that far yet.  Currently wracking your brain for the next move to make, you waited for the best opportunity.

While Todoroki was lecturing about a topic you didn’t focus to catch the name of, the only word you caught was “ion”.

“H-heh, Ion know about you, but I feel some chemistry between us!” You tried, almost cringing at your own voice.

Todoroki paused for a moment, before looking up at you. 

“…Yes, the chemistry text book is between us… but we’re learning about ions in biology right now.”

Almost deflating at your failed attempt, you shook it off and focused on what he was actually trying to teach you. Some time went by again, and while browsing through your notes for the answer to the question he had asked you, inspiration struck again. 

“Hey… So, according to the laws of thermodynamics, you’re supposed to share your hotness with me, Todo!” You giggled, putting your notebook up to your mouth to hide part of your blush.

“… I… don’t think I’ll be able to since it’s part of my quirk.” He confusingly scanned his hands. “But anyways, how does thermodynamics relate to the enzyme function I quizzed you about?”

You slapped the notebook fully on your forehead to prevent him from seeing you roll your eyes. 

Some time goes by again, and you decide to try one last time. It’s been just shy of 4 hours since you and Todoroki had sat down to study, and your patience was waning. Like, why was he talking about Pi now? Had he moved on to math before you even noticed? 

Your head popped up with new inspiration. 

“You’re much sweeter than Pi, Todo~.” You laid your head down on your folded arms, eyes searching for some recognition in his heterochromed eyes.

“…No, Pi as in 3.14, not the dessert.” 

“Todo!!!” You whined, leaning back on your chair, head thrown back. “I’m flirting with you! Can’t you see?” You let gravity take your chair back down as you stared at him, realizing what you had said.

Your cheeks burned up as he shyly looked down.

“I guess if I’m sweet as Pi, you’re sweeter than fructose.” He smiled, looking up at you.

“Todo, that was so cheesy!”

Shindou:

Training camps were hard, especially when you had to go to the night classes after a full day of trials because of how poorly you did on the written exams. It was hard enough to focus with your quirk being over used, muscles screaming at each movement and eyes so tired they felt 20 pounds heavy, but what made it even harder, was the guy sitting behind you. 

He was swinging his feet under his desk, making consistent creaking noises, and tapping his pencil along with it to make a beat. 

You rolled your head back. 

“Shindouuu~.” You whined.

“Yes, _____~?” he replied in the same tone. 

“Can you please stop making that noise? It’s sooo distracting!” 

“No one else seems to think so.” He taunted, referring to how the only other students in the classroom were sleeping or had headphones in. It was an educational video playing, and the teacher seemed to go by the rule of ‘I wont force participation. Your in charge of your self and getting the mark you need’. 

“But I do.” You pouted, turning partially in your seat, looking at him with puppy eyes.

“Fiiiine.” He chides, crossing his feet together, one eyebrow raising as you turn around. 

A few quiet minutes later sadly ended with a piece of paper bouncing off your head. It didn’t hurt at all, and honestly you wouldn’t have thought any thing of it if you didn’t see it fall in front of your vision. Turning around, you saw the culprit staring up at the ceiling.

“Hey. The movie’s this way.” You scolded, pointing to the front of the room.

“So’s the view.” 

“What was that?”

“Oh, nothing~.” He smiled, before your turned around once again. 

You thought peace had finally settled until you felt a piece of something go down the back of your shirt. 

“H-Hey!” You exclaimed, awkwardly fiddling with your arms behind your back to retrieve the eraser. “What is all this for?! Can’t you just play on your phone or something, Shindou!?”

“I’m flirting with you!” He chuckled, holding the last bit of the eraser. “Or at least trying to!”

“You have a funny way of flirting…” You blushed, throwing the bit back at him.

“But now that we know I am. Do you wanna get ice cream after this?”

#Bakugou Katsuki #Todoroki Shouto #Shindou Yo #bnha #bnha imagine #bnha scenarios #boku no hero academy #Mod Blue

[pvcked]

s u r v e y :       d a r b y    b e l l e    m o n t p e l l i e r

written in purple gel pen. it be like that.

basic information

FULL NAME: darby belle montpellier PRONUNCIATION: DARH-bee bell mAHnt-pell-yer MEANING: without envy REASONING: darby belle was named after a beloved family dog who was tragically killed by an automobile the night before she was born. how… quaint. her mother insisted on adding “belle” to match her older sister, elody mae’s, “name flow”. her father never really approved, but he his second army deployment began just before her birth, so her mother went ahead and did it anyway. NICKNAME(S): darby, darbs, darby belle, belle, fruit loop, the singer from pelagia, dee, db. puck ( only by her late father ) PREFERRED NAME(S): darby, darby belle BIRTH DATE: march 3, 2001 AGE: 18 ZODIAC: pisces GENDER: cisfemale PRONOUNS:  she/her ROMANTIC ORIENTATION:  biromantic SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual NATIONALITY:  american. ETHNICITY: american. there are some french roots, way back, but they’re bastardized: her family pronounces their surname the southern way, not the french.

background

BIRTH PLACE: jonesborough, tennessee HOMETOWN: jonesborough, tennessee SOCIAL CLASS:  upper-middle. FATHER: eric montpellier. deceased march 2, 2014. suicide. gunshot wound to the head. ptsd resulting from military duty. MOTHER: kenna mae montpellier. deceased february 22, 2007. housefire. SIBLING(S): elody mae, legal guardian. 25. artist and interior designer. faceclaim. BIRTH ORDER: youngest of two. elody mae is 7 years older. PET(S): none. she gets the sniffles! OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES:  n/a. PREVIOUS/CURRENT RELATIONSHIPS: she’s been in a long-term relationship with clark beecher since the fall of sophomore year. ARRESTS?: nope! PRISON TIME?: nope!

occupation & income

SOURCE OF INCOME: darby’s band, pelagia., has paid gigs around town and in neighboring towns. they sold copies of their first ep, too. CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: yes!! between her and elody mae, they make things work. darby loves music; she practially lives and breathes in song. PAST JOB(S): she delivered papers for a lil’ while in tennessee. tagged along while elody mae biked. SPENDING HABITS: darby knows how to find herself a bargain! MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: her dad’s dog tags, which she keeps hidden under her pillow. some of his old navy blue sweaters. she throws ‘em on days when she misses him a little extra.

skills & abilities

TALENTS: musicianship. performing. songwriting. agile skating. playmaking. interpretive dancing. making her friends laugh. going cross-eyed for long periods of time. rolling her tongue. SHORTCOMINGS: she can’t say no to anyone she loves. quick to blame herself for things she can’t control ( like her parents’ passings ). elody mae rubs her wrong a lot and it’s not her sister’s fault, but they’ll go several days at a time without talkin’ when things get tense. swallowing her pride: she’s stubborn. LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: english, enough spanish to get by ( acquired from high school classes, but her southern accent kinda bleeds through? so kids in class always kinda smirk when she tries out the speaking exercises  ). DRIVE?: no. never learned. JUMP-STAR A CAR?: no. CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: no. RIDE A BICYCLE?: nope. her dad never got ‘round to teachin’ her. SWIM?: no. they never had a pool. PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: countless. she sings, plays guitar, piano, drums, banjo. PLAY CHESS?: she prefers checkers. BRAID HAIR?: is the sky blue? yes. TIE A TIE?: mhm. PICK A LOCK?: nope, but that’d be cool!

physical appearance & characteristics

FACE CLAIM: natalia dyer. EYE COLOR: bright baby blue. HAIR COLOR: light brown. HAIR TYPE/STYLE: down to her shoulders, curly. typically up in a ponytail or some kind of quick style. GLASSES/CONTACTS?: nope. DOMINANT HAND: right. she plays right wing. but she likes to cut food with her left. HEIGHT: 5′0 even. WEIGHT: 108 lbs. BUILD: very, very thin. surprisingly muscular, though. not built like a typical hockey player but boy, does she command the ice. her strength, like… bewilders everyone. recruiters came to see her play this spring and fuckin’ lost their shit. this girl ?!  captain ?!  right wing ?!  does she disintegrate when she’s checked ?!?! EXERCISE HABITS: always movin’ and groovin’. darby loves going for runs. weight-lifting. playing pickup games with her boys. SKIN TONE: very fair. freckled. TATTOOS: none.  PEIRCINGS: she has her ears pierced but almost never wears earrings, due to rink rules. MARKS/SCARS: some burn scars from the housefire that killed her mom in 2007, on the back of her left forearm/wrist and across her stomach. she’s really insecure about them and almost always wears long sleeves because of it. she also has a birthmark shaped like canada on the arch of her left foot. when they were alive and darby was very young, her parents used to joke that god put that mark there because he knew their daughter was going to be a hockey star.

NOTABLE FEATURES: her eyes. her tiny size. her laugh. USUAL EXPRESSION: smiley, vibrant. CLOTHING STYLE: long sleeve sweaters, jeans, vans. graphic long-sleeve tees –– she really likes the nature designs on patagonia ones, or cool/eclectic designs. converse. timberlands, leggings, and oversized sweatshirts. denim jackets. in the winter, she’s always bundled up because she runs cold. honestly? she’d sooner wear a hoodie and shorts in the summer than throw on a t-shirt. she does wear short sleeves, but mainly for team workouts and runs. JEWELRY: she wears her father’s wedding band around her neck on a thin gold chain, always tucked under whatever top she’s wearing. her sister does the same with her mother’s. ALLERGIES: strawberries. peanuts. bees.  BODY TEMPERATURE: she runs real cold. are you using that sweatshirt? DIET: when elody mae cooks, darby eats well –– lots of pinterest recipes and plant-based meals.  left to her own devices, she reverts to ease: poptarts, protein bars, almonds. sunflower butter and jam sandwiches. she typically skips lunch at school to write, or free skate, or sneak into the weight room with whatever team’s rented it out that period. she always snackin’ on pretzels. PHYSICAL AILMENTS: insomnia, since her mother’s death. worsened with her father’s passing. i imagine it’ll get worse with her sister disappearing, too. her mild dependency on painkillers.

psychology

MORAL ALIGNMENT: chaotic good. TEMPERAMENT: sanguine. ELEMENT: air. MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: insomnia. SOCIABILITY: she’ll talk to anyone and anything! she flits around west ham’s social sphere like it’s nothing. EMOTIONAL STABILITY: sensitive. doesn’t hide things well. PHOBIA(S):  snakes.  being stung by a bee.  never being loved  /  never having the wherewithal to find it.  not getting a hockey scholarship.  emptying the medicine cabinet.  not being able to call her dad’s cell to hear his voice.  losing elody mae.  losing everyone. ADDICTION(S): painkillers. but she’s in denial. DRUG USE: a little here ‘n there. if others are doin’ it. ALCOHOL USE:  about as standard as you’d expect, from a varsity athlete dating another varsity athlete. PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: if provoked. she’s got a hockey stick and she’ll use it, if you threaten anybody she cares for.

mannerisms

QUIRKS: bites her bottom lip and rolls it between her teeth when she’s thinking.  squints directly at the sun despite being scolded for it for years.  latches on to friends’ arms as if the universe might tug them apart at any moment, and navigating the school parking lot is exhaustively complex –– like she might get lost; like she might lose them.  calling instead of texting.  sniffing peanut butter: she can’t eat it, but she loves how it smells.  sleeping all curled up in a ball, on her left side, with the blankets tugged up tight against her chin.  wearing beanies and baseball caps indoors.  waking up early enough for church each sunday: getting dressed, beginning the walk across town, only to turn back halfway.  running drills at the rink instead of attending lunch hour.  jotting down lyrics on standardized tests.  humming in school stairwells, when she thinks she’s alone.  tapping her locker dial three times with her index finger before putting in her combo. wriggles her nose when she’s trying not to laugh. gaze always, always drifting to the nearest window.  funky patterned socks.  she has a pair with picasso. HOBBIES: hockey. guitar, banjo, piano, drums. singing. songwriting. running, weightlifting. elody mae tried to get her into yoga, but her headspace is far too cluttered.  making late-night ice cream runs to the local parlor, because she knows the owner and he’s always ready to give her a free scoop.   HABITS: tapping her fingers on flat surfaces.  skipping meals when she’s stressed.  texting thumbs-up emojis to avoid having to give an actual answer to “ how are you? ” .  masking darker thoughts with game suggestions and silly jokes.  deflection.  wearing her father’s old army tees to bed, and sniffing them each time as if the laundered clothing might still hold onto even just a whiff of his cologne.  falling for the wrong people.  believing.  letting her nail polish chip and chip and chip until all that’s left is a silhouette of pigment.  biting her nails.  midnight runs.  pressing leaves into notebooks to capture moments for which she lacks the words.  over-gifting outside her means, arguing with her sister about it later. NERVOUS TICKS: biting her lip. not making eye contact. rubbing together her left index finger and thumb. DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: honoring her parents’ memories. standing by elody mae. getting that hockey scholarship locked down, so her sister won’t have to give up more for her. making clark smile. oh, that boy’s smile. FEARS: the dark. heights. being stung by a bee. losing everyone.  elody mae might find out she kept their dad’s dogtags. POSITIVE TRAITS: saccharine, musical, virtuosic. NEGATIVE TRAITS: diaphanous, dewey-eyed, naive. SENSE OF HUMOR:  bubbly, giggly. she can find most things funny. DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: no! her parents used to wash her mouth out with soap. CATCHPHRASE(S): “ well, golly ! ”  &  “ i’ll be darned ! ”  &  “ who’d have thunk ? ”

 favorites

ACTIVITY: making music, playing hockey. ANIMAL: she loves bees. even though she’s terrified of ‘em! BEVERAGE: water. BOOK: twenty-thousand leagues under the sea by jules verne. her father used to read it to her at night, chapter by chapter. it inspired her band name: pelagia .  it means the open sea. CELEBRITY: david beckham. adam mcquaid. COLOR: army green. DESIGNER: she likes thrifting. FOOD: pretzel sticks. FLOWER: daisies. GEM: amethyst. HOLIDAY: new year’s eve. she loves getting to blow party kazoos in everyone’s faces. MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: walking or running. MOVIE: he wedding date. she’s a sucker for those stupid rom-coms. the mighty ducks. slap shot. MUSICAL ARTIST: cigarettes after sex, stevie nix, amy winehouse, the band camino, daniel caesar, etc. QUOTE/SAYING: “ honey, you got a big storm comin’ ! ”  SCENERY: big open fields with bright green grass, wildflowers. SCENT: she doesn’t like candles, open flame. but she likes those lil’ air fresheners. eucalyptus, lavender, and peppermint calm her down. SPORT: hockey ! SPORTS TEAM: the west ham centurions, varsity girls hockey. she’s biased. she also likes the bruins. TELEVISION SHOW: bob ross specials. she used to watch ‘em all the time with her sister. WEATHER: warm ‘n breezy.  VACATION DESTINATION: ontario, it looks so calm.

attitudes

GREATEST DREAM: make it big in the music industry. have that be her career. GREATEST FEAR: she’ll lose more people she loves. MOST AT EASE WHEN: she’s with clark. or making tunes. LEAST AT EASE WHEN: she’s alone in the dark. BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT: selling out toad’s place for pelagia’s biggest show. BIGGEST REGRET: the last she said to her dad wasn’t i love you. MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: she punched a boy in second grade for calling her a wussy. and then his crying made her cry. BIGGEST SECRET: she prayed to make a deal with the devil to bring her parents back and bartered anything he wanted. she feels like her father’s death is her fault. TOP PRIORITIES: spending all the time she can with clark. lookin’ after tess, making sure grizz knows he’s being watched. taking care of elody mae, at least, as much as she can. securing that hockey scholarship for college. winning states. being a good captain. making music, and using that to help... mend.

#newhamhq: task #🥀 –– i don't like myself when i'm awake ! isms. #death tw #suicide tw #gun mentions tw

[gdialex]

Hello, Mr. LOGAN WAGNER. My name is Detective Booth and I’m handling this case. I don’t need to go into details; you know why you’re here, and we already have you down as a suspect in her death. We’ve got witnesses to corroborate and a budding timeline, but we need more information from you directly. Make my day easier and cooperate with me on this, will ya’? I just need you to answer these questions for me. Do me a favor and don’t lie – you’re talking to a trained professional right now, I’ll be able to pick up on certain things whether you realize it or not. Lying will only come back to bite your ass later on. Just some food for thought. Let’s begin.

logan, quite frankly, was already bored of this conversation. he had plans with a girl (( and she was a french exchange student, so it’d a real fucking tragedy if he couldn’t make it )), and he was anxiously glancing at his watch every two minutes. she didn’t seem like the type of girl to reschedule.   

Q: I’m gonna’ start light. I hate interrogators who go straight into the hard stuff, ya’ know? I find it impolite. So, tell me a little about yourself. Give me your full name.

“logan wagner.” he glanced down at his watch and then looked back up at the detective, grinning, “but my friends call me the notorious a.s.s.” booth didn’t look amused, but logan just snorted. that made two of them, buddy.  

Q: Alright. Tell me your date of birth and age.

“october 8th. twenty-one.” he leaned back in the chair and placed his hands behind his head, “but what you should really write down is that i’m a libra. i’ve been told that makes me very happy, and happy people don’t kill people. that’s like legally blonde 101.”  

detective booth squinted at him, “is this a joke to you? you’re being interrogated for murder.”

logan leaned forward onto his forearms and shook his head, face somber, “sir, i never joke when it comes to reese witherspoon.” 

Q: Where did you grow up? What was your home life like? Tell me about your family and your upbringing. Give me your story.

he didn’t really see how his childhood was relevant to morgan’s death, but there were few things he loved more than talking about himself. “i’m what you call...a scientific marvel. my mom was inseminated by some guy i don’t know––make sure you write that part down––and then i was raised by a string of nannies and my grandma. mom popped in from time to time to express her disappointment in all of my life choices, so don’t worry. you know, come to think of it, i think she’d like you. i could give you her number, but be forewarned, she’s kind of a ballbuster.” 

Q: Tell me about the most impactful people in your life. I’m not picky – they can be good or bad impacts.

“kanye west changed my life.” he glanced down at his watch again and tapped his foot against the ground to the beat of the ticking clock in the background. 

“do you have somewhere to be, mr. wagner?”

sighing, logan nodded his head and drummed his fingers on top of the cool metal table, “yes, actually, i was supposed to meet this girl at my place, and she was going to bring chocolate sauce and whipped cream––and we weren’t having ice cream if you catch my drift, so i’m sure you understand why i’d appreciate it if we could hurry this up.”  

detective booth stared at him for a long time before sighing and turning the page in his notebook, and logan couldn’t help but grin. 

Q: What are your goals in life? What would be your ideal final ending? What would help you reach these goals?

booth already looked sorry he asked, and logan supposed that was fair. he didn’t really seem like the kind of guy who had goals, but that was just objectively not true. “don’t laugh ‘cause it’s kind of a sensitive issue for me, but i’ve always wanted to get my name to the top of the scoreboard on the galaga machine at the movie theater. i’m this close, but this little fucker comes in with his babysitter on sundays and steals my spot every time. now, i know what you’re wondering, and the answer is yes, i did sleep with the sitter, but i’m not proud of it. i don’t want to win like that.”    

Q: How would you describe yourself?

“i think scientific marvel just about covered it.” 

Q: What do you do in your free time? What’s your idea of fun? What sports or extracurriculars are you in at Hyland University?

“i’m on the hockey team, but my main passion in life is puppetry.” he paused and tapped the table, “write down that i said that ‘with impish mirth in my eyes’. i don’t want people thinking i’m a serial killer.” 

Q: Do you drink? Smoke? Take drugs of any kind? Answer carefully on this one, kid.

“i dabble in the art of tequila and weed.” he cleared his throat and leaned closer to the camera, “allegedly.” 

Q: Tell me about the relationships in your life. Friendships, romantic, everything in between.

he cracked his knuckles and hummed thoughtfully in the back of his throat, “where to begin, where to begin. i like to refer to myself as a serial short-term monogamist because that sounds better than being a hoe.” tapping his fingers on the table, he shrugged his shoulders slightly, “i have one best friend. eden rose. you’ve probably already interrogated her, and i agree with your assessment: she’s way too good to be hanging around me.”    

Q: What’s the best thing that has ever happened to you? What’s the worst?

he hummed and leaned back in his chair, wishing that he had something to comfortably rest his feet on to completely sell his pose. “best thing? rachel monroe. worst thing?” he paused and pulled a face, “rachel monroe.” 

Q: Let me throw in a fun one, lighten up the mood. Would you rather only be able to tell the truth or only be able to lie?

“i’m a firm believer that lying always solves all your problems.” he cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck, “except for, you know, in a murder investigation.” 

Q: Did you kill Morgan Parrish?

“uh,” logan blinked and stared at the detective, “are you actually serious?” booth didn’t say anything. “no, man, of course not. i didn’t have any reason to kill her.”

Q: Let’s get some background information on this. How do you know Morgan Parrish?

“she’s my cousin. don’t you have a file on her family, my dude? it seems like you guys don’t really know shit about her life––which is weird ‘cause morgan made sure everyone knew everything about her life.”   

Q: Explain the extent of your relationship with her. Was it platonic? Civil? Rocky? Romantic?

“we talked at christmas and easter. that was about it. she kind of cramped my style with her ‘no fucking my friends’ rule––and before you ask, no, i didn’t kill her over it. i just fucked her friends anyway.”

Q: In your own words, describe Morgan Parrish to me.

“a real pain in the ass, but she was my first pick for flag football at thanksgiving. she was ruthless.” 

Q: Would you say your life got better or worse upon meeting Morgan Parrish?

“i mean, i pretty much met her from the day that she was born, so...i guess better because i wasn’t potty-trained yet.”   

Q: What was your favorite thing about her?

“she had really hot friends. have you interrogated bridget flores yet? total smokeshow.”  

Q: What was your least favorite thing about her?

“she told my mom that i was the one that broke her lalique vase just because i spilled hot sauce on her dress. what an asshole, right? i had to miss homecoming because of that stupid vase, and my date was stephanie madsen. stephanie motherfucking madsen. she won homecoming queen, you know, with jason poyfair.” he pulled a face and shook his head, “total bullshit.”  

Q: Where were you the night of her murder?

logan squinted as he tried to recall his whereabouts, but he honestly couldn’t remember what he did yesterday, so it was a bit of a lost cause. “i was probably with a girl. maybe eden. if there was a party that night, then i was definitely there. i’ll check with my receptionist and get back to you.” 

Q: Where were you the day before?

 “i would say class, but that would be a fuckin’ lie. i was probably asleep until three in the afternoon, and then i probably hit up eden for some cookies.” 

Q: Where were you after?

he clenched his jaw and swallowed hard, “i was at a meeting. for hockey. i, uh, i had to leave early.” 

Q: How did you feel about her passing?

 he sighed, finally feeling the agitation of going over his cousin’s death again and again creep into his tone. “i don’t know. what do you think? it fucking sucked. my grandma couldn’t stop crying.” 

Q: What do you think about the way she died? Just as a refresher, Morgan Parrish was drugged, strangled, beaten, and then shot.

logan looked down at his hands and swallowed the bile rising in his throat. he wasn’t sure why, but every time he imagined her corpse, she always looked like she was five years old again. “it was fucked up. what else do you want me to say?”  

Q: Did you make any sort of tribute to her death and put it on social m-

Another interrogator walks into the room. She’s holding a folder with your picture clipped to the front. She opens it in front of Detective Booth and whispers something into his ear. He shoots you a look and then excuses himself from the room. He returns twenty minutes later, features stony. He quickly writes something down on his notepad and then caps the pen.

Q: Change of plans. I’m going to scrap the questions I had prepared and ask you what I see fit. Where were you exactly the night Morgan Parrish died?

logan quickly placed his carefully crafted smirk back onto his face and held out his hand,  “enchanté, mademoiselle. logan, logan wagner, but you can call me james bond––and what might i call a fine lady such as yourself?” 

her stern face didn’t move. “detective. answer the question.” 

he sighed and retracted his hand, “you know what, i’m just going to call you karen. you look like a karen; you have a very karen-esque face. it’s a good thing; karens are hot.”

she tapped her pen against her pad of paper, and logan held up his hands. “jeez, relax, karen. i just wanted to get to know you a little better before we got down to business. i just told detective sunshine that i’m pretty sure i was at a party.”    

Q: Tell me all the details you can remember from that night.

“i don’t really remember anything from any party i’ve been to. i’m a big fan of patron.” 

Q: Were you intoxicated at any point?

“uh ,,, just the entire night.” 

Q: Are there any witnesses able to corroborate your story?

“probably the entire hockey team. greek row, too, if they can manage to remember anything past breakfast.” 

Q: I feel like you’re leaving things out. Tell me all the details you can remember from that night.

logan smirked slightly, “are you asking for the explicit version ‘cause i could come up with something if you’re interested, or we could just create our own version of events.” 

detective karen something held up her hand, “that’s enough, thank you.” 

Q: … are you telling me the truth, kid? We got six other students we’re talking to today – sure would suck for you if one of ‘em was able to prove that something you’re saying is false.

“i’m not really sure, but i believe what i’m saying, and nietzsche says that means it’s the truth, and we all know that philosophers never lie.”  

Q: What was the last thing you said to Morgan?

logan frowned and scratched his cheek, “i...i don’t actually know. probably something stupid.” he kind of wished that he had known at the time. not that he had any idea what he’d say to her if he knew that he’d never see her again, but it probably would’ve been better than whatever bullshit he said at the time. 

Q: Have you ever gotten into a physical altercation with Morgan before?

“past the age of five? no. and i want it on the record that no matter what my grandma says, i won that fight.” 

Q: Have you ever fought verbally with Morgan?

“yeah, ask booth about laliquegate. it’s a real page-turner.” 

Q: Would you say you felt safe around Morgan?

“emotionally? no. physically?” he paused and shrugged his shoulder, “probably not.” 

Q: Do you wish you had never met Morgan?

“i like to focus on the future, karen. for example, what are you doing tonight because i’m a big fan of donuts and being handcuffed.” 

Q: Do you own a gun?

“yes, but it shoots strictly nerf foam, and i only use it in case of emergencies.” 

Q: Have you handled a gun before?

“i just explained that i’m very well-equipped to handle any nerf gun model made after 1997.” 

Q: Do you know someone who owns a gun?

“me, but i got my license to carry from toys r us before they went bankrupt.”  

Q: Have you gotten into physical fights before?

“i’m a lover not a fighter, karen. i thought you knew that about me already.” 

Q: Is there anyone who can prove where you say you were on the night of her death?

“probably eden, but don’t hold me to that. i might’ve been with a girl i don’t remember.” 

Q: Do you think Morgan deserved to die?

“what the fuck? no. people don’t just deserve to die.” he titled his head and paused,  “except maybe chris martin. fuck that guy and his dead fish eyes.”  

Q: Do you wish she was still alive?

“obviously, but despite popular belief, i’m not god.”

Q: Do you miss her?

he shoved away thoughts of a little girl with pigtails and pink dresses that skipped rocks with him in their grandma’s backyard. it was...easier not to have substance, far less painful. “i mean, she was an asshole, but she was family. it’s weird not seeing her at reunions anymore. i guess that’s kind of missing her, right?”

Q: Has your life gotten better or worse since her death?

“honestly, the same. i didn’t really talk to her that much. she was kind of a downer most of the time.” 

Q: If you could bring her back to life, would you?

“again, i’m not actually god.” he grinned and winked at the detective, “but i think i could make an exception for you.”

Q: Are you hiding something from the people of Hyland? From your family? From me?

“i’ll be honest, i haven’t exactly been forthcoming on exactly how much i like one tree hill––but i’m going to come clean now. i think that one tree hill is a gift to mankind, and i cried when nathan told haley that he loved her for the first time.” he paused and shrugged his shoulders,  “twice.” 

Q: Have you been telling the truth this entire time?

“i’m more than a little hurt you don’t trust me after all we’ve been through, karen. deeply hurt, and that’s on you. i hope you think about that for the rest of today and consider how your actions affect other people.” 

Q: Did you kill Morgan Parrish?

“i would not last one day in prison, so no.” 

#tw: stupidity #hylandtask

[glowstickia]

Rules: Answer 21 questions then tag 21 people who you want to get to know better.

Tagged by @kineticallyanywhere

1. Nickname: Glow

2. Zodiac: ARIES

3. Height: 5′6′’

4. Last movie I watched: Thor: Ragnarok w/ a couple of buds :3 WAIT SHIT IT WAS SKY-HIGH FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT THAT I was just chilling on my couch the other night and it was fuckin on tv shit I can’t believe I forgot 

5. Last thing I googled: something about Hogwarts Mystery because I’ve been obsessed with that game app yea

6. Favorite musician: Aviators, Poets of the Fall, Imagine Dragons, Amarante, Rise Against, uuuuh....I just fuckin love music? There is deffo more but like...I usually just like a single song ahha

7. Song stuck in my head: Well yesterday it was Square Hammer by Ghost; today its fuckin My Hallelujah by Autoheart

8. Other blogs: I HAVE MANY @tazglow (my taz blog); @eightfoldslibrary (paranatural fic archiving blog) @magicandmetal (my world build blog) @writingthyhandoff (just a blog about writing and junk) and then a few others

9. Do I get asks: Rarely. Very rarely

10. Blogs following: 136

11. Amount of sleep: .....6?

12. Lucky number: 4 & 9 ....birthdaaaay

13. What I’m wearing: pjs its like a t-shirt with ben & jerry’s ice cream and then plaid purple/white/blue pants

14. Dream job: I...uh don’t really know? I mean I love my job (even tho ho boy it drains me) but like....I wanna be a writer? like write a cool novel a lot of people talk about? yeah...that’d be nice

15. Dream trip: Well...I really fuckin wanna go to Ireland, Scotland, and Iceland. Just like....super bad. Those places are so pretty man (also Iceland...I just...wanna stand on two continental plates at the same time and say that I’ve done that lol bucket list) HOWEVER I just...would love to go on a road trip to like...idk that cool park in Utah with a couple buds. I REALLY need to like work on how I am during car trips but ye

16. Favorite food: 

SOUP

17. Play any instruments: I used to play the piano. Learned how to read music through it. I also sing because your voice is technically an instrument HAHA

18. Languages: English....also VEEEEERY little French. Took it in high school and redid it in College. Duo Lingo can fight me

19. Favorite songs: I have like a playlist where I just have 1 song on repeat and if I wanna switch that song with another one...i go to the next one on the list lol

Repeat Time <- songs I regularly listen to on repeat

20. Random fact: My mom used me to cheat the reading system for my sisters growing up haha. My sisters both HATE reading. I’d constantly have my nose in a book...hell I remember reading some Charles Dickens books when I was like...8 or 9? (I wanted to be like Matilda and there was a summer read-a-thon at the library for like free pizza from pizza hut...ya girl got some pizza man) ANYWAYS, in school there were these like reading tests kids had to take and only certain books were like in the system...I can’t remember how many books you had to like do in order to pass or whatever but like I DO remember not wanting “to take the easy route” and just fuckin...do a whole bunch of tests about A Series of Unfortunate Events. Cause I had already read like 8 of them and like “no mom I wanna test on different books!” wait im getting sidetracked

SO LIKE...back to my sisters. One of them doesn't comprehend written words all that well and middle sis just...doesnt find books interesting (I still think she might be a little dyslexic). Cue my mom going to me at like 7pm the night before a paper for my sister is due and asking me “So, tell me the plot of [title of book]. Your sister needs to write a paper on it.” Which boiled down to my mom and I writing said paper so my sister can keep her grades up. I was also asked like...what the answers for those reading tests were and YEAH that’s the story of how my mom used me to cheat the reading system.

21. Describe yourself as aesthetic things: wrapped in the softest blanket of all existence surrounded by open half used and empty journals. Two cats are laying next to each other curling together for warmth as they purr quietly. A microwave beeps at you. Its soup time.

I tag: @saintdeanthomas, @luke-fone-fabre, @thestarjar, @gentlydetecting, @allislaughter, and um...fuck 21 is a lot so IF YOU SEE THIS AND YOU WANNA DO IT @ ME WHEN YOU DO KAY? I TAG YA!

#its not soup night but....im essentially a gremlin who hides in a blanket and eats soup #:V hey what up im glow and im a soup gremlin #as told by glow

[yllucsanad]

14 and 15 from the x files asks 😊

14. Favorite episode(s)? Why?

ok you didnt ask for nearly this much but ive always wanted to make this list anyways so here ya go!!

1x01 Pilot: I mean,,,, does this even need an explanation? 

1x03 Squeeze: amazing MOTW, “do you think i’m spooky?”, “it seems you were acting very territorial” “of course i was” this is episode thREE PEOPLE, the gray/green alien conversation lmaoooo

1x24 The Erlenmeyer Flask: rip deep throat, iconic “trust no one”, the alien plot seriously begins the thicken here

2x01 Little Green Men: they have a secret meeting how cute, Mulder recording everything for Scully um hello someone is in love

2x08 One Breath: Mulder TEARING apart the hospital and screaming at people for Scully, coma hand holding and crying in his apartment, the return of her necklace, “mulder? i had the strengths of your beliefs” 

2x13 Irresistible: like obviously donnie pfaster makes me uncomf but the way mulder tips up scully’s chin and makes her look at him and then she breaks down and FINALLY lets mulder see her as something besides hard as a rock

2x17 End Game: Scully taking charge and saving Mulder’s life, Mulder trading “Samantha” for Scully

3x04 Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose: this episode is very funny and i appreciate that in this dark x files universe, QUEEQUEG, “how do i die?” “you don’t”, “autoerotic asphyxiation” 

3x13 Syzygy: “sure fine whatever”, jealous scully, cigarette smoking scully, “shut up mulder”

3x17 Pusher: this ep is simply amazing in every way and we all know it

3x22 Quagmire: mulder hating the dog for no reason, RIP queequeg, the conversation on the rock

4x03 Home: this episode is gory and cool, the conversation on the bench, scully making noises to try to get the sheep to move lmao, mulder playing with the baseball and the tv and being sad that elvis died, and im a sucker for kevlar 

4x13 Never Again: Iconic is all i need to say

4x14 Memento Mori: yeah the cancer arc sucks and all but the msr is soo good in this like i can never get over it, the flowers

4x20 Small Potatoes: a great light hearted episode in which scully and “mulder” almost KISS

4x22 Elegy: this episode makes my list because it is so raw and emotional, because mulder gives scully no personal space ever, the bowling scene. scully’s session with the therapist

5x01/02 Redux & Redux II: “keep going fbi woman”, mulder never ceasing to cry about scully, “one sorry son of a bitch speaking”, all the kisses, the hand holding, mulder coming back “from the dead” because he had to see scully, the smile when he tells skinner her cancer is in remission

5x04 Detour: “kill me now”, the wine and cheese (poor scully she really tried), “i dont wanna wrestle”, “maybe if i rains sleeping bags you’ll get lucky”

5x05 The Post-Modern Prometheus: a happy motw ep is always great, b&w, the humor in this one is just golden, the dancing scene of course

5x10 Chinga: mulder without scully lmaooo, “marry me”, the pencils lmao

5x12 Bad Blood: do i even need to explain my love for this one?

5x19 Folie a Deux: a lot of people dont like this ep for some reason but i do, mulders split lip is Hawt, “one in five billion”, “folie a deux. a madness shared by two”

5x20 The End: fuck diana BUT uh, pic of mulder and scully hanging in the office, gibson impressing the fuck outta everyone, gibson exposing mulder about diana and scully, mulder fuckin up spender, the way scully holds mulder after the office fire

6x03 Triangle: the filming is so beautifully done, i love a good irl AU, the KISS i could write ESSAYS about this kiss, “i love you”

6x06 How the Ghosts Stole Christmas: mulder literally steals scully’s keys so she cant leave, they LITERALLY kill each other and then go exchange gifts after they said they wouldnt get each other anything i mean CMON

6x08 The Rain King: everyone assuming mulder and scully are a couple, “i do not gaze at scully”, scully’s speech to sheils

6x14 Monday: i just really really like this episode for some odd reason i cant put my finger on

6x15 Arcadia: again, another episode that i don’t feel the need to explain why i love it lol

6x18 Milagro: scully being fascinated by this guy, mulder being possessive jealous and worrisome, the hug when scully doesnt die, scully grabbing mulders arm, “in my book I’ve written that agent scully falls in love. but that’s obviously impossible. agent scully is already in love.”

6x19 The Unnatural: the ice cream thing, the ripping of the document, i do enjoy the story, fuckin mulder and his baseball obsession, the Scene (you know the one) hips before hands OO baby

6x21 Field Trip: a very cool episode, mulder telling scully that he ends up being right like 98.9% of the time and shes like o fuck, she thinks mulder is dead :’(, they literally trip together, the hand hold at the end

7x06 The Goldberg Variation: lots of good ol flirting, i enjoy the case, the sink lmaoooo, “i like baseball too”

7x14 Theef: “i’ll always keep you guessing”, mulder saving scully by pulling the pins out of the eyes, 

7x16 Chimera: “do you have a significant other?” “not in the widely understand definition of that term”, “mulder when you find me dead, my desiccated corpse propped up, staring lifelessly through the telescope at drunken frat boys peeing and vomiting in the gutter, just know that my last thoughts were of you, and how i’d like to kill you” “i’m sorry who is this”, and also mulder just being really great at his job seriously turns me on

7x17 all things: must i explain?

7x19 Hollywood A.D.: a Classic, scully showing tea leoni how to run i heels, mulder packs it to the left, skinman, bubble baths, the laughing and the hand holding at the end i am DECEASED

7x21 Je Souhaite: i def like the case in this one, scully’s entrance to the office in the beginning (hmm someones suspiciously happy), scully and her invisible body lol, mulders wish was fantastic, the whole last scene as well as “well i’m fairly happy. that’s something” atths ya know

7x22 Requiem: ok like even though its depressing as fuck in end i love this ep, scully visibly turned on by the fact that mulder assaulted someone, “let’s go waste some money”, “we could start sharing rooms”, mulder holding scully when she faints in the woods, mulder watching scully with the baby, the whole bed scene, the HUG cause mulder couldnt live without her if something happened, PERGNANt

and as far as season 8 goes….. every episode besides the ones with mulder are meh and lets pretend 9 didnt happen except i guess The Truth was good considering the circumstances

and i aint gon get into the revival ho boy

15. Favorite MSR moments?

most of them are listed above but other than those:

in firewalker when mulder holds scully’s face

when scully puts herself in contempt of court for mulder and then the HUG

BBQ SAUCE

in die hand when mulder rolls himself over scully when shots are firing

all the comfort and care in end game

they way scully cares for mulder when his father and mother die

haha mulders reaction when scully identifies the plane at the bottom of the water

the lace thing, the china pattern thing

scullys concern for mulder in paper hearts and the hug

mulders memoization of scully’s senior thesis

mulder showing off athletically for scully, scully enjoying it

in pine bluff variant when scully recognizes mulder by his bandaged fingers

in dreamland when scully says she would kiss mulder if he wasnt so ugly and the exchange of the sunflower seeds, also mulder knows her breakfast

jealous scully in alpha

the touchstone conversation

the millennium kiss

everytime mulder calls scully dana (beyond the sea, lazarus, the field where i died, trust no 1)

in tooms the first and only time scully calls mulder fox (i know he doesnt really like it but i still wish they did it again because it carries a big weight)

the decontamination shower

when scully cares for mulder when he is in shock

when scully shoots mulder and tends to his wound later

and we musnt forget fight the future and i want to believe

#asks #the-fbimostunwanted

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 2565

today i stayed in bed for a while, contemplating death because it was 91 degrees outside and felt like 99. so i stayed inside and texted lisa and freeda that i wasn't going to be at stained glass tonight, because besides the godawful temperatures and my propensity to overheat and sweat to the point where i can't fuckin use my hands, my transmission still hasn't been fixed. james is ordering the part it needs so he can fix it for me.

but also, a listing i found last night (for a potential place to move for me and the eggs) was having an open house today, and james asked if i wanted to go, so i said sure. i was maybe twenty minutes out and james said he wouldn't be able to make it because he was still working at the garage on stuff (probably my car tbh) and i said no worries, i will. so i went and toured the house and looked at stuff and on the way back i called the eggs and gave them my honest opinion of the place. an iffy 6/10. past water damage, the oil tank and furnace and water heater are in weird places. small bathrooms. the kitchen was nice, and the deck was cool and the downstairs would've been a perfect game room, but the rest of it, the little details, the things that matter? no. so we decided to pass. but they still offered to get me ice cream, so i headed over to their apartment to see them.

chelsea and i went and got ice cream. at this point, all i had eaten was two chocolate frosted donuts with rainbow sprinkles. and then i had four scoops of ice cream, also with sprinkles, but they were jimmies this time. joel texted and asked me what was happening and i told him i was hanging out with the eggs. i hope to see him at some point this week. i miss my joel when i don't get to see him. so hopefully, when my transmission gets fixed, i'll be able to go over and stay over for a while. actually get to hang out with joel since my paper is now finished. i do have those few matlab assignments to do, but in comparison it's like going to the dentist instead of performing a frontal lobotomy on yourself. i would much rather go to the dentist.

-> flashback/ADHD brain,

also, before the open house, i got to talk to FF today again! today was their birthday, and they had the day off from work. they were able to do fun things and have a relaxing day and hang out with the dogs, and it makes me happy that they had a good day.

we also talked about chocolate again, so i have more things to try, but i need to try the ones i already have first. i may do that this weekend. but yeah. i like getting to talk to them. ☺️

-> and then, back at the egg's,

i ended up wanting bad burgers so i said "hey i'm gonna go get myself some shitty burgers" and they said "where" and i said "mcnaldos" and they said "get me some" and "i'll pay if you get us some" so i said "ok" because i'm not gonna say no to free food, yknow?? it took a few minutes to determine what i was gonna get for us all and then i grabbed the card and left. made it back with food that wound up being pretty good, actually - the chickie nuggies were hot and fresh and delicious. unfortunately i only got one sweet and sour sauce, and that only goes so far, and chelsea had been chickennapping nuggies from james, so i gave him the last two i had to replenish his nuggie supplies. the burgies were mcnaldos burgies, so i can't really complain. the fries were really good too, they had the right salt content, and as those were passed to me first, i crouched in a goblin position and consumed the fries like the absolute gremlin i am and james got a kick out of it.

shitty burgies and good nuggies later, i came home and watched the last touchdown of the first football game of the season, and then we finished the episode or whatever was on hallmark movies and mysteries, and then it was murder she wrote. i've been on a major kick of it, because there's four episodes back to back of it on HM&M every night, and me being awake to work on my paper late at night has allowed me to watch many episodes of it. sometimes i'll watch the first episode of magnum PI that comes on after, but i usually watch the first five minutes to see the mustache and the bad attitude before heading up to bed.

but not tonight.

tonight is the peak of the perseids, and i was tired anyway, so after the second episode of murder she wrote i turned off the tv and went outside. i saw four meteors! i think, actually, that three were meteors from the perseids, and the other was low-orbit space junk, because it (1) fell from a different direction, (2) was much dimmer, and (3) lasted longer than the others i saw.

it was the first time i'd seen any of the perseids.

also? i was standing in the back yard, and because of the extension between the house and what used to be the garage, the streetlight out front is blocked. i can actually see the sky. you can see the milky way. so many stars. i checked the weather before going outside. it said it was partly cloudy, but i didn't want to risk it, so i checked myself. i was very surprised to see a crystal clear sky. so i was out there for a bit.

it was truly beautiful.

yknow, sometimes i think about what i do and what i'm studying and i feel like it's not what i should be doing, yknow? because i don't feel like i'm smart enough or good enough or that anyone will take me seriously, and other things like that that wear you down and exhaust you with the "what if"s that make your head spin.

but looking up at the sky tonight reminded me why i'm studying to be an astrophysicist. it's because i love the stars. the night sky. the cosmos. all of it. it was my first love, and i don't know if i'll ever love anything as much as i love the stars. it's kind of romantic, honestly; looking at the stars with wonder and awe, seeing things you normally can't, feeling how small you truly are in the scale of the universe. it's amazing. it's terrifying. but i find it's a lot like falling in love.

-> adhd brain strikes again

while i was in line at mcnaldos i got a snapchat from andrew and he said that his wife came up with an idea for a book that we could write. like. and internal monologue for the day. adhd brain: the book. and i'm so on board with that. narrating what pops in my head all day?? fuck yeah.

-> anyway.

looking at the stars tonight and finding myself thinking about the stars like i have reminds me of that one quote:

"i have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."

(that's sarah williams, but i don't know who she is but attribution is important)

and it reminds me of me. because it's true. behind my house is a lot of woods. it's dark and there's animals that live there. when i was outside, i wasn't afraid of the dark or of the animals. i just wanted to see the stars. and that was all i needed.

anyway it's almost 2am and i am going to bed so i can get up earlier. and then go to bed earlier. so i can get up earlier. i'm trying to adjust my schedule so i sleep for ten hours and wake up for 7. so i'll need to be asleep by 9. so i'll need to be in bed by 8. shit. i don't like that. but that's so i can get to class on time, because not only does it take 80 minutes to get there, i have traffic to deal with, and then i gotta park and walk to my class. so i'm tryina adjust it. sad i'll miss when FF wakes up their time, but i'll be awake earlier so i can talk to them more during the day.

it's a trade-off. but i need that sleep.

i have a few weeks to get there. it's fine.

#molly rambles #operation srr #osrr #2000s #2500s #sunshine boy #ffs ff love me pls

[bad-draft-stuff]

c.AU 2

witty joke

Sheepy: *You know what the rudest thing to do when someone is sleeping is? Talking! But unfortunately, Kay, you have a roommate that doesn't comprehend that all hours are sleeping hours here!* Arsé-kun: *Sometimes people get phone calls from other people. It is a fact of life and also it is probably a good time to get the fuck up. Whatever time it might actually be. Kay doesn't know or care.* Sheepy: *It definitely sounds like Grif is on the phone!... in the kitchen!* Arsé-kun: *Kay checks his pockets and finds his phone. Okay, so Grif isn't on HIS phone at least* Sheepy: *Good sign. So he's probably using his own.* Arsé-kun: *It's probably some brick nokia that can only make calls bc this bitch can't read* Arsé-kun: *Either way, Kay isn't worried about it. College kid on his phone, what's he gonna do* Sheepy: *Good question! What will you do to start the day? Arsé-kun: *bathroom.* Sheepy: *good (?) start* Arsé-kun: *Brief montage of Fou chasing a moth while we wait for that to be over with* Sheepy: *Elyan will even help him!* Sheepy: *What will you do next, Kay?* Arsé-kun: *Get food. Interrupt Grif if he's feeling bitchy. Consider punting Fou into space.* Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: *on speaker, apparently* ---No, Griflet. You cannot blend potato juice and tomato juice and expect it to taste good. It simply does not work that way. Sheepy: Grif: Have you tried french fries with ketchup? Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: Many times. However, the components vary greatly outside of the base two plants. It is like... It's like how dipping fries into ice cream is acceptable, but dipping them into plain milk absolutely is not. Sheepy: Grif: Why would you dip fries into ice cream? Sheepy: Grif: Ice cream is perfect. It shouldn't be soiled. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: .... I cannot argue with this statement. Even if I disagree. Sheepy: Grif: It can go with certain warm things. Brownies and cookies... but it melts too fast. Arsé-kun: Kay: *is somehow disappointed by how mundane this is. he fully expected some weird shit* Sheepy: Grif: But what if my cooking level becomes high enough I can make slower melting ice cream? A goal to achieve. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: Please consider what you put the ice cream into. It may melt slower in a container that retains cold. No guarantees. Sheepy: Grif: Amazing. Containers are important... Arsé-kun: *Kay wonders why his microwave is open* Sheepy: Grif: I didn't think so. I just put it in whatever I found. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: That was your mistake. Sheepy: Grif: Ah... Sheepy: Grif: They never melt in the carton so clearly the carton is the ideal place... But how awkward, opening up an ice cream carton and clearly seeing someone has eaten from it. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: Incorrect. It is the storage place that prevents melting. The carton should be able to do that, though. It'd be nice. Sheepy: Grif: Really? Sheepy: Grif: What is the ideal container? Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: In general, or that humans have? Sheepy: Grif: Humans. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: Insulated bowls do exist. Sheepy: Grif: I wonder if Kay has them. It might be difficult for me to buy. Sheepy: Grif: Although, maybe if I started fighting stronger foes I'd get better drops... Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: A carton containing a trace amount of power from Aphoom-Zhah would work in theory, but holding it would be impossible for anyone humanoid.... And stay within your range. You've already had one bad experience this week. Sheepy: Grif: So maybe I might have difficulties touching it? Sheepy: Grif: I'll train harder so I can start fighting for better drops. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: I recommend it. Sheepy: Grif: Although, knowing where to focus improvement is difficult. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe I need to be tankier. But if I can defeat my foes before they hit me, I'll have the same effect. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: Knowing when someone is within sneak attacking range is also important, but apparently difficult. Sheepy: Grif: Sneaking... Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif: I should get better at that. My level in stealth is very low. Arsé-kun: Kay: Not my fault you're deaf as hell. *as he bumps the fridge closed* Sheepy: Grif:...?! Sheepy: *Grif reaches for his right side before pausing, staring at Kay* Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey, don't you fuckin' dare or you'll be outta here faster than you can goddamn blink! Sheepy: Grif: You startled me. Sheepy: Grif: Don't sneak up on me like that. Arsé-kun: Kay: Ain't no sneaking when I walked into my own kitchen for lunch, moron. Sheepy: Grif: Eh... Sheepy: Grif: I have to get better at stealth and better at detection. Arsé-kun: Kay: And why's my fuckin' microwave open? Sheepy: Grif: Well, I was talking to my dad. Arsé-kun: Kay: I hear this, but don't you have a phone? Sheepy: Grif: Phone? Sheepy: Grif: I've seen these before. Sheepy: Grif: But they look fragile. How scary. Imagine breaking it, how much that would cost you to repair it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Didn't you use mine already..? Sheepy: Grif: I didn't enjoy it. The anxiety of potentially breaking it in some way... It's too much. Arsé-kun: Kay: So you're using.... My microwave. Somehow. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I was talking to my dad. Sheepy: Grif: I could use the fridge instead if you'd like. Arsé-kun: Kay: Please don't. The food in there needs to stay cold. Sheepy: Grif: I see.. Then what? Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: There are several human-made cellular devices that are more sturdy. Perhaps look into that? Sheepy: Grif: With what money? Sheepy: Grif: I have to grind to be able to farm more efficiently. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: You're farming at a college. No one there has money. Sheepy: Grif: Really? Sheepy: Grif: But why aren't they paid for doing their work? Because it's at home? Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: the economy is in shambles and only so many people have money. Most do not. So anything off path that goes looting is not getting money either. Sheepy: Grif:.....? Sheepy: Grif: So if I got a shambler limb drop and tried to sell it, I couldn't? Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: Many places do not take things like that. However, you must find the ones that do. Sheepy: Grif: Where? Are there any on this campus? heepy: Grif: If so, I suspect that it would be someone in the medical field. Specifically someone who experiments with inhuman things. Sheepy: Grif: If I can get someone to buy my stock of shambler limbs, I will buy a phone. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: I cannot answer that. Sheepy: Grif: I see... I know what I must do. Sheepy: Grif: Today my day will be busy. Sheepy: Grif: I will ask everyone on the campus to buy my shambler limbs, starting with who is most likely to buy them. Sheepy: Grif: If none of the professors are willing to buy them, I'll ask the students. Perfect. Sheepy: Grif: If nobody is willing to buy them... I'll ask Dad? But I don't know that he has money... Are gold coins a current currency? How many gold coins is a phone? Sheepy: Grif: Maybe it's better to convert gold coins before buying a product with them. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: In some places, yes. This is not one of them. Sheepy: Grif: I see... Sheepy: Grif: Too bad. Sheepy: Grif: I'll try asking the professors then. Sheepy: Grif: Kay, do you want to come with me? Arsé-kun: Kay: Uh, I might... Actually, hold on. *he stops and goes digging through unsorted backpack papers (the rare few) for a schedule. It is in the folder on the table. he's an idiot* Arsé-kun: Kay: *finding it eventually* i do have a class today, so I can't. It's in..... Shit, twenty minutes, fuck me right up! Sheepy: Grif: If you insist. Arsé-kun: Kay: NOT LIKE THAT Sheepy: Grif: Go to class then. Arsé-kun: Kay: So bye Grif, bye Grif's cooler dad, I have to go to a horrible class I don't want, fuck meeeeeee Arsé-kun: *Kay powerwalking out to get ready real fast* Sheepy: Grif: Ah... He's comparing you two. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: If I were to be prideful, I'd say he's right. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: Well, maybe he'll be able to meet Dad soon. If he wakes up soon. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, I should find the professor who will buy my loot. Arsé-kun: Kay: I have biology, maybe he likes weird biology too. Sheepy: Grif: Then I'll go with you. Arsé-kun: Kay: uhhh. Sheepy: Grif: Yes? Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: I do know of the man you speak. Allow me to handle that end. Arsé-kun: *visible kay confusion* Sheepy: Grif: I see. Thank you. Arsé-kun: Grif's Gamer Dad: If the professor asks why you are there, tell him Yog sent you. Sheepy: Grif: Ah. He's an enemy of yours. "Yog sends his regards". Arsé-kun: Yog: Not at all. Sheepy: Grif: I see... A friend. A friendly threat instead. Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. My threats will be positive and uplifting. Arsé-kun: *Kay gets ready by changing his pants offscreen and that's about it* Sheepy: Grif: I will follow Kay to find his professor. Sheepy: Grif: Right. One important thing. [QUEST ADDED: I Herb U Liek Shamblers] Arsé-kun: *very muffled Yog laughter* Sheepy: Grif: Now I'm ready. Sheepy: *Grif eventually heads out with Kay!* Arsé-kun: *Kay is not happy about Biology. Kay is not happy about body science* Sheepy: Grif: What do you do in biology? Learn the best ways to say farewell to birds? Arsé-kun: Kay: It's anatomy. Body stuff. Shoot, is that what this is? I just wrote it as "Biology" but... Sheepy: Grif: I think it's best said as it is in the name. "Bye, owl...gee". Short, yet showing you feel sad about them leaving. Sheepy: Grif: Anatomy? I know a lot about that. For example, did you know you have five fingers on each hand? Arsé-kun: Kay: Gee. No shit. Sheepy: Grif: If you didn't, why didn't you look at your hands before? Arsé-kun: Kay: Sarcasm. Nobody says "No shit" in all seriousness except rarely. Sheepy: Grif: Some people do. Like people explaining their symptoms to gastroenterologists. Arsé-kun: Kay: Why the FUCK do you know what that is?! Sheepy: Grif: Do you not? Sheepy: Grif: It's where you go when your tummy hurts a little too much for a little too long. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Okay, fair enough. Sheepy: Grif: It's where you go when you eat a shiny rock. Sheepy: Grif: Many animals eat things becauze they're shiny. Fish. Sharks. Lizards. Me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Moron. Sheepy: Grif: If it's good enough for fish, it's good enough for me. Sheepy: Grif: But my stomach hurt for a long time... Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't eat rocks. *kay consults his college map again to locate his class* Sheepy: Grif: Instead it just made me sad. Sheepy: Grif: And in pain. Sheepy: Grif: But you don't eat rocks, so maybe he's just unique? Arsé-kun: Kay: That sounds like a personal thing. Sheepy: Grif: How confusing... we can ask the anatomy guy. Sheepy: Grif: Are we close? Arsé-kun: Kay: Getting there. Sheepy: Grif: Yes, every step we walk gets us closer to the completion of my quest. Arsé-kun: Kay: At least one of us will have fun... Sheepy: Grif: You're having fun? That brings me joy. I'll have fun, too, then. Arsé-kun: Kay: Look, moron, I already don't like the blood thing, do you think I'm gonna enjoy human organs in great detail?? Sheepy: Grif:? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm going to hate this so much. It's, uh, 147, this is 134... 136... 152??? I hate college buildings. Sheepy: Grif: *he begins clapping* Sheepy: Grif: You can count higher than 10. Amazing. I knew you could do it. I'm proud of you. Sheepy: Grif:........ Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yes??? I'm a math student?? I sure fuckin' hope I can! Now help me find my classroom, you know numbers! Sheepy: Grif: I will do my best. Sheepy rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 2 Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 20 Arsé-kun: *grif does not do his best* Arsé-kun: *eventually Kay finds the little shitty side hallway. It was on his blind side. Grif did not help him at all. Not big surprise* Sheepy: Grif: Where are we? Sheepy: Grif: Are you ready to starve to death in this labyrinthian limbo we have been cast into? Arsé-kun: Kay: The hall is right here. We went right past it. Sheepy: Grif: I didn't see it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Me neither. Okay, now shut up and move, lets go, I'm already goddamn late. Sheepy: Grif: Right. Arsé-kun: *some of the lecture can be heard from down the hall. the man might be using a megaphone.* Sheepy: Grif:...? Arsé-kun: Dr. Herbert: *with a megaphone* --And as I stated, we will not be using textbooks, guidebooks, strategy guides, or sparknotes! Everything will be based on your retention of what you observe and take note of yourself! If you miss something? Too bad, unless you want to observe your own organs! I am not allowed to actually recommend that, of course, but it doesn't mean I can't say it! Arsé-kun: Kay: *quietly* oh no... Arsé-kun: Herb: *he spots Kay and Grif entering* And there are our stragglers! We can finally get started! Sheepy: Grif: Amazing. His voice projects through the use of a cone. I see now how he was capable of speaking to my dad. Arsé-kun: Kay: Shush! Sheepy: Grif: Ah. Right. *his expression turns more serious (somehow)* Yog Sothoth sends his regards. Arsé-kun: Herb: As I told the earliest students previously, I have more than just this teaching job, and most certainly will be doing it before and after class. There is a reason for the glass barrier between us, after all, and I am not stopping my real job for this-- *he finally registers what Grif said and finally pauses for a breath* Tell him his soggy regards have been considered. Arsé-kun: Herb: Now then! As I was saying, I am the chief medical examiner for the area. Coroner, forensics guy, corpse jockey, I don't care what you call it. Just expect it when you come into my office at some ungodly hour looking for an extension for a paper you should have done months beforehand. Sheepy: Grif: *he opens the closest thing capable of being opened* Dad, he said your regards are soggy. Arsé-kun: *Kay can swear he heard a faint laugh, but he's way more worried now about what the professor has under a sheet up front.* Arsé-kun: Herb: All of our lessons will be firsthand! Which means! I can finally!... Right, right, I've been informed that I am required to advise those with weak stomachs to brace themselves. But where's the fun in that?! So here! Sheepy: Grif: Firsthand? Do you need someone to do an autopsy on? Arsé-kun: Herb: I appreciate the offer, but I most certainly do not! Observe! *he then rips a sheet off the table next to him. That is a dead body. That is not a new corpse. This is why there is a glass screen between his side of the room and the students.* Arsé-kun: *Kay, and several other students, proceed to scream. This is a normal, instinctual reaction. No judging.* Sheepy: Grif: Ah. It's not fresh. Arsé-kun: *and kay also ducks under his desk and covers his face. oh no oh no oh no* Arsé-kun: Herb: Not at all. This one came into my office about a week after their unfortunate demise. Sheepy: Grif: Based on some reactions, though, you may have a new one or two. Sheepy: Grif:.... Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: *Another student interrupts this exchange by raising their hand* Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Are we going to watch you open it, Professor? Arsé-kun: Herb: Eventually yes, but not today! Apparently it is frowned upon to "traumatize" the students on day one. You all came in here knowing there were going to be human body parts! Sheepy: Grif: Zippers usually make things easier to open. Did you remember to install one for future use? Arsé-kun: *Wilbur whips around and throws an eraser at Grif. Shut up.* Sheepy: *Grif catches it* Arsé-kun: Herb: ... But I was specifically told, by the dean: "Do not open the body on day one". I can still do THIS! *he easily pulls off and casually throws aside the poor corpse's scalp. The entire thing.* Those of you interested in passing or just plain interested, you may come up to the barrier to see! Sheepy: Grif: *he isn't bothered by this.* Arsé-kun: Red: Wow! Lil C-sto, that brain's almost as big as Red's! *big mans elbows his much smaller friend* Sheepy: Christo: Oh, yes, just about. Arsé-kun: *Some students approach the barrier. Some do not. One stays firmly under his desk* Sheepy: Grif: Oh, this is the premium learning spot? *he joins Kay under his desk* Arsé-kun: *it is not. this is the underdesk of misery and suffering* Sheepy: Grif: Did you know that rhe brain is covered in wrinkles to improve processing power? So what if a doctor did brain surgery to wrinkle your brain? Arsé-kun: Herb: Then there would be more space for information to be stored in theory. I'm not a brain surgeon, so I can't offer knowledge on this. Sheepy: Grif: Amazing. Modern technology truly is useful. You could iron out your enemy's brains to remove their wrinkles. Arsé-kun: Herb: You're better off hitting them with the iron directly as blunt force trauma. Which, coincidentally, was what happened to this poor sod. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I could tell. Sheepy: Grif: But what's concerning is that I don't think it was something from off of the path that did it. Their damage is different. Therefore, it was most likely a human, or something imitating one. heepy: Grif: And it wasn't my uncle because he wouldn't dirty his hands like that... But he could drive someone else to do it... Arsé-kun: *thankfully most people aren't listening to Grif. stop infodumping* Sheepy: Christo: So if they died from blunt force trauma, this brain wouldn't be representative of how brains usually look his many days after death, right? Arsé-kun: Herb: Correct! However, as it has been some time, there is atrophying. That is normal. Sheepy: Grif: Atrophy? So it wins prizes for making good times on the decaythlon? ...Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Grif, please do shut up. Sheepy: Grif: Ah... Arsé-kun: Wilbur: At least wait until after class... Sheepy: Grif: ...! Yes. I can wait. *Grif quickly cheered back up!* Arsé-kun: *at least someone is happy* Sheepy: *Grif goes back to keeping an eye on Kay.* Arsé-kun: *Kay is still having a very bad time* Sheepy: *Now Kay can have a very bad time as Grif tries to comfort him! Not very well* Arsé-kun: *reality check! pat pat pat pat pat* Sheepy: Grif: Hello? Sheepy: Grif: He did this when I came back injured, too. Should we be doing something about this? Arsé-kun: Yog: I cannot make decisions for you. There are several options open. Sheepy: Grif: How to deal with trauma. #1: Remove the trauma. #2: Repeat #1 until it works. Sheepy: Grif: However, if you knock someone out, they can't have a panic attack. Sheepy: Grif: However, if I do it, I will surely injure him. *he raises his voice* Wilbur, my roommate is suffering. Put him out of his misery temporarily. He can suffer more later. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: What on this Earth would you like me to do?? *he turns around to shoot Grif a dirty look. it is not as dirty as he intended it to be* Sheepy: Grif: A quick chop should do the trick. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: That is called "possible brain or spinal damage" and the answer is no. Sheepy: Grif: I'll do it myself then. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: That is even worse. Sheepy: Grif: But he's crying. Sheepy: Grif: He's scared of blood because it reminds him of past events. Sheepy: Grif: It's also known as p'tsd. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Does "tact" have a meaning to you? Or "being subtle?" *he sighs* Sheepy: Grif: Tact is very important. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Despite this, you have none. Sheepy: Grif: No! I do! Strike the foe from behind! Sheepy: Grif: Go for the weak point. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: That's a tactic. Fine, I'll deal with it. Take notes for me. Sheepy: Grif: I will do my best. Sheepy: Grif: I will pick on the strongest first, because those who go for the weak are weak themselves. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Not like that you buffoon. Sheepy: Grif:? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: *he just sighs again* Never mind. Don't bother. I'll deal with it on my own time. Sheepy: Grif: I will do my best. Sheepy: Grif: *he gets out from under the desk and approaches the body* Arsé-kun: *there is a glass barrier. that is as far as you may go* Sheepy: Grif: [Information added: Dead body - "It's the body of someone who's dead".] Arsé-kun: *Yog has no right to judge because he's the one making these entries* Sheepy: Grif: Where was this body found? Arsé-kun: Herb: On the side of the road. Sheepy: Grif:....... Arsé-kun: Herb: Boring, isn't it? But at least it narrows it down to a human homicide and not something else. Sheepy: Grif: My job is to protect everyone from danger, but now the danger is inside in a form I could never distinguish from an innocent... Arsé-kun: Herb: A lot of people are like that. Like your trash uncle. Anyway, getting back on track-- Sheepy: *Grif listens intently to Herb rambling about anatomy.* Arsé-kun: *Grif learns more than he ever wanted abour human anatomy. He now knows several more places to injure to commit kill.* Sheepy: Grif: *INT UP!* Sheepy: Grif: I can now target weak points while sneaking. Sheepy: Grif: *he decides to go check on Kay and Wilbur. hewwo* Arsé-kun: *Kay looks miserable and embarrassed. At least he isn't crying anymore* Sheepy: Grif: You stopped crying. Good. Your face looks better without tears, but it still needs work. Arsé-kun: *Confusion has been added to the conglomerate of emotions on Kay's face* Sheepy: Grif: Self care is important for making yourself shine. That's where you can improve. A smile, too, but that's hard to do with nothing to smile about. Arsé-kun: *Wilbur stopped paying attention the second Griflet intended to re-enter the scene and is doing his homework. He is not enjoying the cramped underdesk but what can you do* Sheepy: Grif: Also, I listened to him, so I have grown stronger. Dad helped me write notes for you. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: If it consists of nothing but "Brain: the thing in your head" and several puns, I'm leaving you in charge of Duncan daycare for the next week. Sheepy: Grif:?! Sheepy: Grif: But... he is hard to take care of when I can't see him. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: That sounds like a personal problem. Sheepy: Grif: I must learn how. Sheepy: Grif: However, my notes should be more accurate considering I listened to him. Sheepy: Grif: "The victim and the culprit had a bash, but the culprit got ahead of themself and hit the victim, causing damage to the brain along with death. Witnesses admit, 'the strike was on par with a golf player smacking a golf ball with a golf club', noting that the tools used in both situations are one and the same." Sheepy: Grif:..... Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: ..... How am I related to you? Do not answer that. Sheepy: Grif: Through Dad. I learned this from him. Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. I have real notes. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Thank you. Sheepy: *Grif reads his notes off to Wilbur* Arsé-kun: *Wilbur gets his notes. Sure, it might not be English, but only Kay loses out on this one* Arsé-kun: *Kay gets no chances to relax in this goddamn class.png* Sheepy: Grif: Does that help? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Greatly. You will not deal with Duncan babysitting duty. Yet. Sheepy: *Grif appears pleased! He successfully helped Wilbur!!* Arsé-kun: *Wilbur is pleased! He got his notes and Griflet didn't make a fool of himself! Arsé-kun: *Kay might be pleased, but anything is nice after that whole situation! Why??? Hell if I know!* Sheepy: Grif: [QUEST COMPLETED: A Noteworthy Achievement] Sheepy: Grif: Kay, I will explain them to you later. Don't worry. Sheepy: Grif: Unless you plan to drop out of the class. Arsé-kun: Kay: I want to. I really want to. Sheepy: Grif: Then do it. Sheepy: Grif: Or fish. Arsé-kun: Kay: I can't. I need the science class. This was the only one open. *he just ignores that last part* Sheepy: Grif: Why? Arsé-kun: Kay: Hell if I know. Sheepy: Grif: You aren't a science major. Sheepy: Grif: You're, eh.... Sheepy: Grif: *he brings up his menu and quickly starts skimming the relationship tab for Kay's major* Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Stop doing that in public. Someone might notice. Sheepy: Grif: But I don't remember. Arsé-kun: Kay: Just say Math. Sheepy: Grif: Your major... is Just same-ath... just same as what? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... .... Mathematics. Accounting. Don't ever ask me to shorten words for you ever again. That was a joke. Sheepy: Grif: Paimon, define accounting. Arsé-kun: Paimon (but actually Yog): Noun: the action or process of keeping financial accounts. Sheepy: Grif: Amazing. Accounting is the action of keeping accounts. Arsé-kun: Yog: Financial accounts. In other words, money. Sheepy: Grif: So moderators on computers don't do accounting. Arsé-kun: Yog: That is a different definition of the word "Account". Would you like this definition as well? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Yog: Noun. A user account is an identity created for a person in a computer or computing system. Sheepy: Grif: I put a password on mine because it told me to, but I can't tell you it because it told me not to. Arsé-kun: Yog: Correct. Sheepy: Grif: But if I forget it, I'll ask you what it is. Arsé-kun: Yog: There is a logistical flaw in this logic. I would point it out if I did not have a way around it. Sheepy: Grif: There's a high chance you saw me make it. Arsé-kun: Yog: And a higher chance you will inform me of it in the future. Sheepy: Grif: What? But it said not to tell anyone. Sheepy: Grif: It's a rule. I can't break rules. Sheepy: Grif: However, if it were a law instead of a rule, I could break it. Arsé-kun: Yog: A rule is a law that isn't political. Sheepy: Grif: It's different. Sheepy: Grif: One I can break. The other I can't. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: I'm almost sorry your roommate has to deal with this. It's almost Duncan Daycare in here. Sheepy: Grif: If you're sorry, you can take me instead. Sheepy: Grif: But I'm happy with Kay. Sheepy: Grif: However, for you, I will not break the law. Sheepy: Grif: But if a law and a rule contradict... Which do I follow? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: A law is just a rule deemed good enough to be official. Usually. Sheepy: Grif:....! Sheepy: Grif: Laws are rules, too... So I can't break them. Sheepy: Grif: If I break laws I will go to jail. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: I don't break laws. Duncan is Duncan. I can't really stop you, but who can? Sheepy: Grif: Duncan is above the law because you can't see him. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Duncan also got shot at for committing several crimes. Sheepy: Grif: Who did it? I'll tear them to shreds!! ... Uh, but if they're human, I guess I can only rough them up a bit. Dismembering people is against the law. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: They were all human. It was too long ago anyway. He's not mad about it. Sheepy: Grif: So there's nothing I could do anyway. Sheepy: Grif:...Right, I remember now. I was here for a reason. Sheepy: Grif: I need to pawn off my loot so I can buy things with money. Arsé-kun: Kay: Money can be exchanged for goods and services. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: I have heard there is a special way to get a discount on things. By showing them your hand, you can get a "five finger discount". Arsé-kun: Kay: .... I don't think that's what that means. But you do what you're here for, I'm gonna, y'know, get the hell out of here. Sheepy: Grif: I will help you. Arsé-kun: Kay: You got shit to do! Do your shit! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: *rolling his eyes* Five finger discount means stealing. Crime. Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200. Sheepy: Grif: If it's time for an exorcism, it's time for an exorcism! Arsé-kun: Kay: Where did you get THAT from? Moron. Go talk to the professor before I throw you into glass. Sheepy: Grif: Eh... But I thought... fine, I'll do it! Arsé-kun: *Herb is, like he said earlier, doing his actual job and working on the corpse. Several glowing syringes are involved. I do not think coroners use glowing stuff but I have also never watched a coroner do their job. Who knows? Not me.* Sheepy: *Grif approaches Herb* Sheepy: Grif: Hello. Sheepy: Grif: That's a nice corpse you've got there. It'd be a shame if someone offered to sell you more you may be interested in. Arsé-kun: Herb: ...? *he carefully places a syringe down and turns to Grif* Go on. Sheepy: Grif: I have loot like this. *he pulls out a shambler limb from his Inventory* Sheepy: Grif: I want to sell it. Sheepy: Grif: I am also good at fulfilling requests. Arsé-kun: *Herb immediately inspects the shambler limb. Forget having a real job to do! Alien limb!* Sheepy: Grif: Does that sound good? Requests would be more expensive because I have to go out and find it but I don't actually know what this is worth. I trust your judgement. Arsé-kun: Herb: It is a fantastic proposal. The only immediate downside is that I'm not quite sure how much this would be worth either. Sheepy: Grif: I have an idea. Sheepy: Grif: Dad, how much is this worth? Arsé-kun: Yog: *on a menu popup, not aloud* I will handle the transaction. This will not be the first time I make a deal with him, nor will it be the last. *a pause* Also he never told me not to save his credit card number. Sheepy: Grif: I see. You have his credit card number. I don't know how to use this, so I will leave it in your hands. Arsé-kun: Herb: .... ..... That does explain a lot. Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Herb: Tell your father for me to please stop buying video game content with my credit card. It is not unlimited. I will run out of money eventually. Sheepy: Grif: Dad, Herb said to stop stealing his money. Sheepy: Grif: You can steal other people's money instead. Arsé-kun: Yog: *mac loading icon* nah Sheepy: Grif: He said he won't. Arsé-kun: Herb: Well, it was worth a try. Sheepy: Grif: He must like you to choose specifically you. Sheepy: Grif: Amazing. Good job. I cannot clap now, but I will give you a round of applause when my hands are empty. Arsé-kun: Herb: I cannot tell my accountant that an eldritch orb is using my cash to fund his video game addiction. Sheepy: Grif: Dad wouldn't need video games if he was allowed to visit more often. Sheepy: Grif: But when you're trapped all alone, you have a lot of free time on your hands. Arsé-kun: Herb: That isn't something I can do anything about, unfortunately. Sheepy: Grif: I want to help but I can't. Arsé-kun: *Herb goes back to inspecting the shambler limb that is now legally his. He's not entirely showing it, but he's very excited about it- So excited he pays no attention to the rising corpse behind him.* Sheepy: Grif:....! Arsé-kun: Herb: .... It's standing up behind me, isn't it. Sheepy: Grif: Move, I'll deal with it! Arsé-kun: *Herb moves aside. Combat begins* Sheepy: *Grif attacks the corpse!* >Hit 8 vs Armor 3 Sheepy: *Grif strikes it!* >14 dmg rsé-kun: *Griflet annihilates it in one shot! Congratulations! Coagulated blood is everywhere. Rotted organs are everywhere. It's very dead (again) (hopefully)* Sheepy: Grif: I won. Arsé-kun: Herb: You sure did. *he just looks at the mess and sighs* I'm going to have to call ol' Carl down for help, aren't I? Sheepy: Grif: Carl... Oh. My uncle? Hm... Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: I beat him up yesterday. Sheepy: Grif: But he probably has healed since then. Arsé-kun: Herb: .... I hope so. Sheepy: Grif: I was gentler than usual. Sheepy: Grif: He should at least be healthy enough to clean. Arsé-kun: Yog: His response is "Why do I have to clean this mess up? I make the messes, not clean. That's Randy's job!" I will now remind him he is a janitor. Sheepy: Grif: Janitors clean things for money. Sheepy: Grif: If I didn't make messes, he wouldn't make money. Arsé-kun: Kay: *from the other end of the room, barely audible because of the glass barrier* Are you done yet?! Sheepy: Grif: ? *he raises his voice* I won. Arsé-kun: Kay: Cool, but are you done talking? Can we go yet?? Sheepy: Grif: *he rejoins Kay* Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Great! Any longer and you might make more explode. No thanks! Nope fuck that! Sheepy: Grif: Do you want me to? I am just getting started. Arsé-kun: Kay: No thank you! I've seen enough for one day!! Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Let’s go home then. Sheepy: Grif: I’ll show you more another day. Arsé-kun: *Score total: One win for Grif, one win for Herb, and a questionable score for Kay. Win-win-?* Sheepy: Grif: I have no quests after this. Arsé-kun: Kay: Great! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Do you have plans today? Arsé-kun: Kay: No, but I do have an idea. Sheepy: Grif: Is it fun? Arsé-kun: Kay: I dunno. How do you feel about getting an order in for that Halloween week costume? Sheepy: Grif: I don't know how to. Sheepy: Grif: Who would I talk to? What would I ask for? Arsé-kun: Kay: I know... Most of that. I'm not sure what you'd want though. Or if you wanna stick with Bedi's genius theme. Sheepy: Grif: I don't remember it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, duh! No one told you yet! Sheepy: Grif: You can be the change you want to see. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's all based on one story, so Merlin gets to be an asshole cat, Lot stole my idea, Bedi gets to be a rabbit-eared man, Sheepy: Grif: Where are we going? Sheepy: Grif: You can choose my costume. I trust your judgement. Arsé-kun: Kay: You think I have the time to read the entirety of Alice in Wonderland and it's sequel?? Sheepy: Grif: I have heard of this book. Sheepy: Grif: It's got a character named Alice in it. Sheepy: Grif: It also has no dragons in it. Sheepy: Grif: I prefer stories about dragons, but... Sheepy: Grif: I don't like it when the knight kills the dragon. The dragon believes the princess should have her own free will and the knight blindly follows orders under the belief that they will bring him fame and glory. It's frustrating. Arsé-kun: Kay: Can't relate. Sounds shitty. Sheepy: Grif: You don't read about dragons? Dad said that everyone knows about dragons. Maybe they aren't as popular as he thought... Sheepy: Grif: He'll be disappointed to find that out. Arsé-kun: Kay: *he just gives Grif this flat look* I. Don't. Have. the Time. Sheepy: Grif: If you have the time to get drunk, you have time to learn about dragons. Sheepy: Grif: I know many things about dragons. Arsé-kun: Kay: You probably know accurate things about dragons. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. For example, some dragons can take on the appearance of humans. They blend in almost perfectly. You could meet a dragon without ever knowing it. Sheepy: Grif: Exciting, right? Arsé-kun: Kay: I mean, it kinda is. But on the other side, your uncle... But there's only one of him, right? Sheepy: Grif: He's unique. Sheepy: Grif: But he's intimidating. Sheepy: Grif: He's not trying right now, but if he bothered, he could cause people to hurt themselves or those they're close to. Sheepy: Grif: The fact he could be anyone you meet makes matters worse. Sheepy: Grif: But if he tries anything, I'll stop him. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, we can ask someone who knows something about Alice in Wonderland. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe Dio can help. Arsé-kun: Kay: You can do off-road offpathing yourself. I'm not helping with that. Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fine. Sheepy: Grif: You could also just be Alice. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... I'm not wearing a DRESS! Sheepy: Grif: You don't have to. Arsé-kun: Kay: Eh? Sheepy: Grif: You can wear whatever you want, can't you? Arsé-kun: Kay: I mean, yeah, but Alice wore a dress. Sheepy: Grif: Your Halloween costume can be creative. Alice without the dress. Arsé-kun: Kay: How... Sheepy: Grif: Do you wear the same outfit every day? Sheepy: Grif: I wear different outfits. Sheepy: Grif: Presumably Alice did too. Arsé-kun: Kay: Y-yeah, that's fair... Arsé-kun: Kay: My brain is still fried from that whole class.. I feel like I was hit by a truck but only mentally. Sheepy: Grif: We can even it out. Sheepy: Grif: However, I've never driven a truck before so I may miss you a few times. Arsé-kun: Kay: Uhhhh... Please don't! Sheepy: Grif: I'll try not to. Sheepy: Grif: Some of my shirts have writing on them I can't read but people often give me strange looks. Arsé-kun: Kay: I mean don't hit me with a truck, moron! Sheepy: Grif: Maybe they're trying to read it but struggling just like me. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe you can tell me if I've been embarrassing myself later. My dad gave me one with a black dragon, too. I like it, but people ask me the same question every time. Arsé-kun: Kay: Does it look kinda square and boxy? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Lemme guess. "Do you like Minecraft"? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's a game. I don't care for it, but Lance likes it. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Dad must like it. Sheepy: Grif: He likes games. Arsé-kun: Kay: Orb father likes a cubist's dream come true the game. There's some irony here. Sheepy: Grif: Sometimes he's not an orb. Sometimes he appears human. I've heard his human appearance is very popular. Sheepy: Grif: You may recognize him from his popular catchphrase. Sheepy: Grif: "Hohoho". Sheepy: Grif: However, when I told Lucan, he responded with, "Don't tell Bedi, he still thinks he's real". Arsé-kun: Kay: .... But if he's who I think you mean, then he's real. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: But Lucan claims that everyone's parents fake being him and I must've misunderstood. Arsé-kun: Kay: No, it's true. He's right. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Oh, I get it. Lucan thought you were saying your Dad dresses up AS Santa, not that he IS. Which I hate, by the way. Sheepy: Grif: He is Santa because only he could be Santa. Sheepy: Grif: But if parents act lile their gifts are from someone else, their kids won't know who to thank. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's a weird situation. Sheepy: Grif: One day I want to celebrate Christmas with others. Arsé-kun: Kay: Christmas is in two months. Sheepy: Grif: That is a day. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sure is. Sheepy: Grif: I haven't been able to experience many holidays from a human perspective. I want to experience them all. Sheepy: *They head to the costume maker's place.* Sheepy: Grif: Is this where they are? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah. They're usually somewhere in here if they're not in class. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: *Grif looks around.* Arsé-kun: *it's very empty around here. The hallway is very dusty in some places. Only some* Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, it's apparently been like this since the theater kids summoned something on accident. Only some people live here. Sheepy: Grif: Summoned? Theater? Sheepy: Grif: Oh, I get it now. Sheepy: Grif: Terrible idea on their part. Arsé-kun: Kay: The place was yellow for a month afterwards. It was ugly as hell. Sheepy: Grif: They should eventually clean up the dust. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, yeah. Sheepy: Grif: Hellooo? Sheepy: Grif: Is anyone alive? Sheepy: *Someone near by responds with a sarcastic "No!"* Arsé-kun: Kay: Thanks a fuckin' lot, bud, means so much to me. Sheepy: Grif:! Sheepy: Grif: Keep talking so I can track you down and put you to rest one last time! Arsé-kun: Kay: IT'S SARCASTIC! Sheepy: Grif: Hah! Don't you know, Kay? Sometimes, the dead refuse to pass. Sheepy: Grif: This is what is referred to as "resisting a rest". Arsé-kun: Kay: There's nobody that's faking it! Sheepy: Grif: So he was kidding? Sheepy: Grif:........ Sheepy: Grif:.......... Sheepy: Grif: Ha. Ha. Ha...? Sheepy: Grif:..... Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Anyway. Hey, Morty, pardon the moron, we're here to harass Garry. He's still busy, yeah? Sheepy: Morty: *he pokes his head out* When isn't he at this time of year? Sheepy: Grif: You look surprisingly not skeleton like. Sheepy: Grif: Although, sometimes when people pass away it's revealed there was a skeleton within them all along. Sheepy: Grif: Having one must be a lot of skelefun. Arsé-kun: *Kay bonks Grif over the head, slapstick style* Sheepy: Grif: Ah... Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, good point, but we're gonna add to his workflow. Isn't that nice of us? Sheepy: Morty: Do you want a real answer to that? Arsé-kun: Kay: The real answer is you kicking my ass, isn't it? Sheepy: Morty: Yes. You're lucky he's so patient. If you don't pay him well, I'll take you down - I mean, in for your crimes. Sheepy: Grif: What an odd request, but I will do it. Let me find the best place to put it first. Preferably some place with water so it's functional. Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... Like I said. Pardon the literal-minded moron. Sheepy: Morty: Ignore him. Got it. Sheepy: Morty: I can't actually stop you, so go ahead. Sheepy: Grif: Why make threats if you won't go through with them? Arsé-kun: Kay: Intimidation. Sheepy: Grif: Really... Sheepy: Grif: Is he intimidating? Sheepy: Grif: Should I feign fear so he doesn't feel bad? Sheepy: Grif: Knives mean nothing to me. Sheepy: Morty: What? Most people are frightened by the concept of being stabbed... Sheepy: Grif: If you stab me I will take your knife as a finder's fee. Sheepy: Morty:...Just go ahead and get it over with. Arsé-kun: Kay: Knew you'd understand! We shouldn't be long unless this moron gets distracted or stabbed. Sheepy: Grif: I believe in you not to get distracted, and if someone tries to stab you I will simply snap their spine. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... You, moron, not me! Sheepy: Grif: You've given me a nickname... Sheepy: Grif: I've never been given a nickname before. Arsé-kun: *Kay just gives a "Look what I'm dealing with" look to Morty.* Sheepy: Grif: Fine, I'll accept Moron as my new nickname. Good! I like how it sounds! Sheepy: Morty:...I'm sorry for you. Arsé-kun: Kay: This is what I'm living with. But it's still better than what you have! Sheepy: *Grif heads to talk to Garry. Morty seems anxious and doesn't let Grif out of his sight.* Arsé-kun: *This is fair, and Kay doesn't either* Sheepy: Grif: Hello. Sheepy: Grif: My quest has brought me to you. Sheepy: *Grif looks away from Garry and starts scrolling through his quest log* Arsé-kun: *Garry barely glances at him, being mid-sewing. Sewing machine sounds do not help at all here.* Sheepy: Grif: [QUEST: The Cost(ume) of Being Popular - "Locate the Costume Maker."] Sheepy: Grif:...There's no name, so you must just be a faceless NPC. Arsé-kun: Garry: *he finishes the sleeve he was working on, and turns off the sewing machine* Pardon? I wasn't able to hear you clearly. If you're here for the costumes, I've got a sign in sheet somewhere around here. ^^ *and then he resumes sewing* Sheepy: *Grif goes looking for the sign in sheet.* Sheepy: *There's a doll on the sign in sheet, holding the pen. It looks friendly, as if it's greeting those who look upon it. Yet, something about its design choices put off bad vibes. Its gaze almost feels as though it's attached to a living creature.* Arsé-kun: *Kay perceives none of this, plucks the pen from the doll and signs in* Sheepy: Grif:....! Arsé-kun: Kay: He said to sign in. What, did I hurt the doll's feelings now too? *but he DOES put the pen back in the dolls arms. plop.* Sheepy: Grif: Kay, get away from that! *Grif jumps to Kay's side and throws the doll before getting into a combat position* Arsé-kun: *Garry notices something whizzing past and stops to figure out what just happened* Sheepy: Morty: You don't throw other people's property!! Arsé-kun: Garry: What... What WAS that? Sheepy: Morty: He threw one of those dolls. Arsé-kun: Garry: O-oh, never mind, throw it as much as you want! *VISIBLE DISCOMFORT* Sheepy: Grif: "One of"...?! You have more? Arsé-kun: Garry: My older brother makes them. They're harmless, b-but... Sheepy: Grif: It's alive, don't you know that? Arsé-kun: Garry: I was really hoping people wouldn't know that...!!! I don't like knowing that! Sheepy: Morty: I didn't tell him, so maybe rumors-- Sheepy: Grif: I didn't need to be told. Arsé-kun: Kay: Can we move on? We didn't come to discuss things we don't like. Sheepy: Grif: But my job is to protect people, and those things feel dangerous. Arsé-kun: Kay: Then deal with it somewhere else. I'll do the business half, you do what you do. Sheepy: Grif: I see... A side quest... Sheepy: Grif: Do you want them off your hands? Arsé-kun: Garry: Absolutely, yes please! Just don't, uh, don't throw them like that... It upsets them a-a lot.. Sheepy: Grif: So I was right about it not being harmless. Arsé-kun: Garry: It makes them upset and then I get upset... B-but anyway! Sheepy: Grif: [QUEST ADDED: All Dolled Up] Sheepy: *Grif collects the doll he tossed. +1 doll obtained!* Sheepy: Grif: I'll use it to track down what's giving them life. Sheepy: Grif: But I'll probably need a few. Arsé-kun: Garry: They're everywhere... Ssooooooo that shouldn't be hard! Okay, have fun, bye! Sheepy: Grif: Thank you. *he goes hunting for the dolls. goodbye grif* Arsé-kun: *and with Grif out of scene, the business major can work with the fashion designer in peace. Feat. Morty* Sheepy: *Morty seems unsure about what just happened...* Arsé-kun: Kay: He's like that. His job is getting rid of harmful stuff or whatever, so no shit he's gonna be tough as nails and dumb as them too. Sheepy: Morty: He scares me. Arsé-kun: Kay: I could tell you what I got to watch him do earlier. I hated every second of it. Sheepy: Morty: Oh boy. What did he do? Sheepy: Morty: For them to hire someone like that to protect us... They're getting desperate, aren't they. Arsé-kun: Kay: Obliterated an undead. In one shot, even! Sheepy: Morty:...?! Arsé-kun: Kay: ... I mean, it was an old one and fragile, so like? Maybe that's normal? Arsé-kun: *Kay thinks about it. Kay proceeds to fuckin regret that decision* Arsé-kun: Kay: BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT Sheepy: Morty:...But even so, I threatened him without a second thought. Arsé-kun: Kay: He doesn't go after people. Not in the job description. Sheepy: Morty: If he did... well, I doubt it'd be pretty. Arsé-kun: Kay: If he did, I'd have already thrown beer bottles at his dumb face. Sheepy: Morty: I know someone else who's good at that. Arsé-kun: Kay: Kick his ass. Sheepy: Morty: I want to but apparently that's mean. Arsé-kun: Kay: So is throwing bottles! Sheepy: Morty: But I thought you did it? Arsé-kun: Kay: Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it is to clean glass out of things? Sheepy: Morty: Yes. Sheepy: Morty: It's awful. Actually, next time Har breaks something, I'll make him clean it up. Sheepy: Morty: He might come crying and complaining to me. I'll just do it myself. Arsé-kun: Kay: Tell him if he doesn't, I'll do it but I'll also take his wallet. The entire thing. Sheepy: Morty: Maybe I'll bribe him to go to the AA. Is that where alcoholics go to become sober? Arsé-kun: Kay: Only if they want to. Sheepy: Morty: It's not exactly fun going out to drink with co-workers and having to listen to someone ramble for over an hour about how much they adore their husband before they pass out and being the one to have to drag them home to said husband, only to have to speak to him after that. Sheepy: Morty: That's how the last outing went. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sounds like a drag. Have you tried drinking alone and putting movies on loud enough to drown out the idiots? Sheepy: Morty: No. Arsé-kun: Kay: Great, it gets depressing. Sheepy: Morty: I can't comprehend how people could find it fun. Arsé-kun: Garry: Me neither! Sheepy: Morty: Well, at least we can go out and do more fun things. Sheepy: Morty: Like... Eh... Arsé-kun: *no one has any input. no one goes out if they can help it. introverts.* Sheepy: Morty: Well, you know what people do when they go out. Arsé-kun: Garry: We all understood what you meant! Sheepy: Morty: If it weren't for the path, there'd be more we could do. Sheepy: Morty: Becoming a detective was a bad choice. People commit crimes but they're dull ones, like littering and selling shoes illegally. Arsé-kun: Kay: What, do you wanna look at dead bodies? Sheepy: Morty: I was hoping to have something of interest to do on my job. Arsé-kun: Kay: One of my professors is a Coroner, probably wouldn't mind help figuring out what happened to people? It'd be better than whatever shit the fuckin' idiot drags you into. Sheepy: Morty: I'm interested. Arsé-kun: *Garry expresses his discomfort by turning the sewing machine back on* Sheepy: Morty: Who is it? Arsé-kun: *Kay gives him the required information! yaaaay* Sheepy: Grif: Hello, everyone. Arsé-kun: Kay: Welcome back. We talked business and about the undead you obliterated. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. That. Herb makes them too weak. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Eh?? Sheepy: Grif: They should be stronger with what I've given him, if he uses it properly. Sheepy: Morty:...What're you going on about? Arsé-kun: Kay: Beats me. Sheepy: Grif: What, you think the dead body on his table getting up is a coincidence? Arsé-kun: Kay: Weird shit happens all the time, how should I know and why should I give a shit? Sheepy: Grif: He made it. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... But spooooky things happen in the middle of Nowhere, and it's up to Courage to save his new home! *he's goofing off. ignore him* Sheepy: Morty:...A coroner... revives dead bodies. ...Is that where the bodies in the morgue have been disappearing to...?! Arsé-kun: Garry: That sounds like it'll get out of hand! Sheepy: Grif: Speaking of that, I found one to donate to the morgue. Do you usually have dead bodies in your dorm? That's not sanitary. Arsé-kun: Garry: .... Does he look like me at all? Because if so, he's not dead. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Garry: ... *he sighs* I'll deal with him. Pardon me! *he excuses himself* Sheepy: Grif: I see. When humans sleep their pulse stops. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... No, I think that's just him. Sheepy: Grif: When my dad sleeps his pulse stops. Arsé-kun: Kay: Which. Sheepy: Grif: The flirty one. Arsé-kun: Kay: That sounds like a personal problem. Sheepy: Grif: Does my pulse stop when I sleep? Arsé-kun: Kay: How the fuck should I know? Do you think I check?? Sheepy: Grif: Maybe it does. Arsé-kun: *one of the dolls pops its head over Grif's shoulder. what is happening in this thread?* Sheepy: Morty: ! Sheepy: Grif: Behold. My new friend. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're keeping it??? Sheepy: Grif: It's my friend. Sheepy: Grif: We've come to an agreement. Sheepy: Grif: It'll be my friend if I'm its friend. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Well, better that then Fou. Sheepy: Grif: You're very mean to Fou. Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't like him. Sheepy: Grif: In the long run it'd best benefit you to treat him with respect. Arsé-kun: Kay: I do. If I wasn't I'd kick his tiny little shitty ass. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Well, if you kick him, I'll kick you. I don't like to see animals get hurt. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm obviously not going to. Bedi would hate me if I did. Sheepy: Grif: That's a worse punishment than me kicking you. Arsé-kun: Kay: You understand. Sheepy: Grif: So emotional responses are more effective than simple "eye for an eye"... Sheepy: Grif: My ability to dish out punishment has leveled up to 2. Arsé-kun: Kay: Why is that even a stat??? Sheepy: Grif: It's a joke. Sheepy: Grif: I tried very hard to make you laugh. Sheepy: Grif:.... Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Hah. Sheepy: Grif: Only one... Sheepy: Grif: I'm only supposed to laugh once at a joke. Fine, I'll force only one laugh from now on instead of three. Sheepy: Grif: Tell a joke, you'll see. Arsé-kun: Kay: Are you sure? I'm not the guy people usually ask to tell jokes. Sheepy: Grif: It's fine. You'll be unfunny to me either way. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fine, fine. What's green, has four legs, and would kill you if it fell from a tree? Sheepy: Grif: My dad. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... See, that's just true. Arsé-kun: Kay: But no. It's a pool table. Sheepy: Grif: Pool tables are usually white with umbrellas. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... A billiards table. Sheepy: Grif: But I never go to the pool. I can't swim very well. Arsé-kun: *Kay's joke fell flat...* Sheepy: Grif: I've heard humans wear outfits at the pool to improve swimming capability. Sheepy: Grif: They're called swim suits. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, that's not wrong. Sheepy: Grif: Last time I wore a suit, though, the jacket was too tight for swimming. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'd laugh if I knew you weren't being serious. Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Never mind. We did our business here. Sheepy: Grif: Where do we go next? Arsé-kun: Kay: Home I guess. Sheepy: Grif: Great. Arsé-kun: *in the far background, outside this room, Garry being helped by several dolls to move someone else. Garry is not happy about any part of this situation what-so-ever* Sheepy: Grif: I know a big quest is coming soon so I should bond and relax when I can. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... And whatever that means. Let's just go already. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: *Meanwhile, there's a dead body on the ground.* Arsé-kun: *As you can see, Garry didn't make much progress, even with the dolls. They got bored anyway and fucked off. Helpful. Anyway being garry is suffering* Sheepy: *The body slightly shifts and starts to move slowly, beginning to breathe more noticably. Maybe it wasn't dead after all?* Arsé-kun: *Garry heaves a relieved sigh and plops down next to it. Stress.jpeg* Sheepy: *The body's eyes open. Hello! Look who's awake!* Sheepy: Toa: ...I-I think I landed wrong on the way down. Arsé-kun: Garry: It looked like it hurt.. Sheepy: Toa: It did. Uh...but good thing I didn't hit my face. Arsé-kun: Garry: We can't afford new glasses again.. Sheepy: Toa: More importantly, if I hurt my face, I'll raise questions at my next live. Arsé-kun: Garry: Why is that the priority...?? Sheepy: Toa: I don't want my manager to yell at me... Arsé-kun: Garry: That's fair.... She's scary. Sheepy: Toa: Maybe she can frighten the curse away. Arsé-kun: Garry: If only it was that easy... Sheepy: Toa: At this point, I don't know who to go to about it... *he starts getting up* Owowow... Arsé-kun: Garry: Don't strain yourself! *he helps Toa up* Sheepy: Toa: Unfortunately, even if we could ask the source... I have a feeling he wouldn't help. Arsé-kun: Garry: He'll just say "I found the secret to eternal life!" and then send me four more dolls and a box of rotten chocolate. Sheepy: Grif: Tell me of the source. I can't let someone who curses people remain unpunished, and I can't let dangerous curses last. Sheepy: Toa:?! Eavesdropping i-is, well...rude! Ah... but you've heard all this, and I can't really let it get out... Y-you could cause bad rumors, and then she'd yell at me... Sheepy: Grif: I don't know nor care who you are, nor do I partake in rumormongering. Arsé-kun: Kay: And if anyone tells rumors, it's going to be me. But he's interested now, so it's your problem! Sheepy: Toa: P-please don't...! Sheepy: Toa: What do I need to do for you not to spread rumors...? Sheepy: Grif: My Threat level has gone up. I can now inflict fear in people with the Cowardly trait as a Passive. Sheepy: Toa: eh? Sheepy: Grif:.......... It's a joke. Sheepy: Toa: Wh- Sheepy: Grif: My Threat level was already high enough to frighten people just by being near them. Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... Anyway, I already overhear people calling you Danny Phantom so I don't need to do anything. Sheepy: Toa: Yes... I know. Sheepy: Toa: I thought you heard more... Sheepy: Grif: I'm about to. Arsé-kun: Garry: W-wait, that's extremely threatening! Sheepy: Grif: What? It's the truth. I asked a question so you have to answer it. Sheepy: Toa: Th-that's not how it works!! Sheepy: Grif: It's my job. If you don't tell me the source of the curse, the source could end up hurting others. Your behavior implies you're close to the source, making it all the more important I find them, because if they're willing to hurt someone they're close to, everyone could be in danger. Arsé-kun: Garry: Well.... I don't think he was trying to hurt anyone, but.... Sheepy: Grif: It doesn't matter. Arsé-kun: *Garry looks to Toa for his approval* Sheepy: Toa:...I don't think we have much choice but to tell him. Arsé-kun: Garry: Yeah. I thought as much... Arsé-kun: Garry: It's our older brother. He sends the dolls too. He's trapped in his museum off the path. One of the times we tried to get him out, he'd started declaring he'd *airquotes* "Found the secret to eternal life". Along with, uh, a wh-whole m-mummy chasing us around, he did... Whatever caused this? We call it a curse but we don't know what it is... Sheepy: Grif: Oh. You got lucky. Sheepy: Grif: You could have died in a terrible way thanks to that mummy. Arsé-kun: Kay: Eh... You know about it? Sheepy: Grif: It's the power of being so ugly that everyone who looks upon you partakes in rigor mortis but simultaneously becomes immortal. Sheepy: Grif: Like Medusa but you aren't put out of your misery. Sheepy: Grif: But if he's with the mummy, I'm shocked he's still... Eh... Sheepy: Grif: I won't question your decision to go off the path, but rather than doing it yourself, you should just find someone to help you next time. Fine, you want to drag him out? I'll go grab him Sheepy: Grif: Quest accepted. ... Quest accepted. Sheepy: Grif:....... Arsé-kun: *no quest pop-up* Sheepy: *Grif shoves his hand into Kay's pocket and takes out his phone* Arsé-kun: Kay: Do you MIND?! Sheepy: Grif: No, not at all, thank you. Sheepy: Grif: Dad, where's the quest pop up? Arsé-kun: Yog: ... What? I'm playing Doom Eternal right now. What quest? You weren't due for one until tomorrow I thought. Sheepy: Grif: I unlocked a quest. Arsé-kun: Yog: Whhh... Where are you? Sheepy: Grif: Zann Building. The fine arts one. Sheepy: Grif: I unlocked a quest to find an older brother in a museum Arsé-kun: Yog: Huh?! Are you?? I can't... Something isn't... ... Do me a favor. Sheepy: Grif: Yes? Arsé-kun: Yog: Stay where you are and that is an order! Sheepy: Grif:...?! Arsé-kun: Yog: If I can't see you, then only one of three things is happening. All three are exceedingly dangerous. I'll put the quest in for you, however! Stay put until I get back to you! heepy: Grif: Ah... I'm in danger. *Grif has stiffened up some...* Fine, I'll stay put. But what if something attacks? Arsé-kun: Yog: Retreat. Do not engage. Arsé-kun: Garry: ... Something up? Arsé-kun: Kay: Y... Yes? This doesn't look normal.. Sheepy: Grif: There's people here. In that case, who do I prioritize? Myself or them? Arsé-kun: Yog: I can revive you. I can't revive them. Sheepy: Grif: Fine, I'll keep them safe in that case. Sheepy: Grif: Something is wrong. We're staying here for now. Sheepy: Grif: If you attempt leaving, everyone will be endangered. Arsé-kun: Garry: I... I don't very much like the sound of that..! Sheepy: Grif: That's your problem. Arsé-kun: Garry: .... *he shudders, and then takes Toa's glasses and puts them on* Sheepy: Grif: I'll keep everyone as safe as I can. Arsé-kun: *Quest Added: "A Knight at the Museum"!* Sheepy: Grif: Quest accepted. Sheepy: Grif: If you die anyway, well, so sorry. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's not very helpful! Sheepy: Toa: B-but we're on the path... Why would anything happen...? Sheepy: Grif: They just simply said no to the rules and went onto the path anyway. Arsé-kun: Garry: Th-that's not comforting..! Sheepy: Grif: It's fine. Someone as powerful as that won't give you the time to know you're dead. Sheepy: Toa: That.. that isn't reassuring at all...! Sheepy: Grif: I understand. My view of mercy is that the cruelest thing you can do is steal someone's life. That's why to be merciful I don't deal instantly fatal blows. Arsé-kun: *Garry has started clinging to Toa. He's shaking.* Sheepy: *Toa wants to reassure Garry, but he's too scared to...* Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Y'all wanna get drinks after this? Sheepy: Grif: Did you know? Sheepy: Grif: When I drink, I get unpredictable. Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, so not you. Sheepy: Toa: ...I-I'm almost considering it. Arsé-kun: Garry: I-I can't, I've got so much work to do... Sheepy: Grif: My drunk type is "emotional". Do you usually know my feelings? Can you see them on my face? Arsé-kun: Kay: That's a hard sometimes. Now is not one of those times. Sheepy: Grif: If I got drunk, you'd know. Sheepy: Grif: Also, alcohol reduces one's ability to react to pain, so I might end up tanking too much and then Dad would have to revive me. Sheepy: Grif: Ah, but I guess I just accepted a new quest. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe next time. Sheepy: *Meanwhile, outside...* Arsé-kun: *Outside is nothing that strange, honestly. Just some dude trying to enjoy sweets on his downtime. If he could open the wrapper. A relatable struggle.* Sheepy: Morty:...Do you need help with that? Arsé-kun: Aza: That would be... Greatly appreciated, yes. Sheepy: Morty: *he comes over and opens up the wrapper, passing it back upon opening it* Sheepy: Morty: There you go. Arsé-kun: Aza: Thank you. Sheepy: Morty: No problem. Arsé-kun: Kay: *peering out a window and watching this* ... Grif, do you see anything dangerous? I'm not seeing anything. Sheepy: Grif: *he's also staring out the window* Oh. I only see the angry man interacting with Grandpa. Very nice of him. Grandpa gets lonely sometimes. Sheepy: Grif: Of course, I suppose that he has to be nice. Sheepy: Grif: He wouldn't like the results otherwise. Arsé-kun: Kay: Why is your family so fucked up? Sheepy: Grif: Define. Sheepy: Grif: Too many potential definitions. Please be clearer. Sheepy: Grif: If it's the one I'm assuming, they don't have any concern for humans generally past seeing them as either strange creatures or playthings. Arsé-kun: Kay: Except your dad, maybe, apparently. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: And my other dad. He likes princesses the most but most humans are fine in his eyes. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Hey, speaking of them-- Since one's immortal and the other maybe is, are you? Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Sheepy: Grif: My job is to protect humans. If I die, I can't do that. Sheepy: Grif: I always do my job, so if Death came to me I would simply tell him no. Sheepy: Grif: But Dad knows better than I do. You can ask him for a better answer. Sheepy: Grif: But the answer I think is yes...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay. Cool. Sheepy: Grif: You find me... cool? *Grif appears a little flustered.* I'm not a cool enough knight yet for this... Arsé-kun: Kay: You punched a zombie. It was extremely cool. Arsé-kun: *Kay has changed the subject...* Sheepy: Grif: I can punch you, too, to show you how it feels. Arsé-kun: Kay: I like staying alive. Sheepy: Grif: I've heard it's a good song. I haven't heard it. Arsé-kun: Kay: That too. But if you punched me like you did that zombie, I would simply die. Sheepy: Grif: Oh. Don't do that. It's bad for your health. Sheepy: Grif: Do you eat enough nutrients? If you eat specific nutrients, your HP stat will go up. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... ... Sheepy: Grif: I focus on SPD and ATK, but HP and DEF are important too. Arsé-kun: Kay: You do know most people aren't like you, right? We can't actively raise "stats" or anything. Sheepy: Grif: Eh? Sheepy: Grif: Why not? Arsé-kun: Kay: Sure, I can say "I want to be able to lift more weight" but I can't just... It doesn't work like that. You're the only one with the stats screen. Sheepy: Grif: What? You have stats, too. Sheepy: Grif: I can see the stats of anyone in my party. Arsé-kun: Kay: But I can't just... Look at them and decide "Hm I should do this thing to raise a stat"-- What? Sheepy: Grif: I can see the stats of party members. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Can I see? Sheepy: [Kay joined the party! Dahdahdahdaaaaah! Grow a stronger bond to unlock better stat boosts and combo attacks!] Sheepy: Grif: *he brings up his menu to show Kay his stats* Sheepy: Grif: Behold. Stats. They have a class on stats as well. Sheepy: Grif: It's called statistics. Arsé-kun: *Kay ignores that comment in favor of looking over his stats.* Sheepy: Grif: By taking action, you can improve your stats. Everything can increase your stats, even if the change isn't noticable at first. Sheepy: Grif: However, I've heard that if humans don't use a certain stat for a while, it goes down. Sheepy: Grif: Humans should be more careful not to misplace their stat points. Sheepy: Grif:...I need help learning how to swim, but... Sheepy: Grif: I feel anxious going into the water knowing I could drown, completely out of my control. Arsé-kun: Kay: Didn't I tell you start small with that? Sheepy: Grif: I find the concept of swimming scary. Arsé-kun: Kay: But you can sit in a bathtub. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's your start. Sheepy: Grif: If it's warm, I may fall asleep. Arsé-kun: Kay: Theeeen don't do that. Sheepy: Grif: Being nice and warm and then falling asleep is nice. Arsé-kun: Kay: I gotta agree with that one. Sheepy: Grif: But apparently if you do that in the bath you'll drown. Arsé-kun: Kay: Then don't make it warm. It's not like we'll have hot water for showers often now that Bedi's living with us. Bastard uses it all. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... *he looks back at his stats and sighs a little* But my intelligence isn't as good as I thought it was. I thought I was doing good... Sheepy: Grif: Ah. Your Int... Sheepy: Grif: It's one point higher than mine. Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. We're two pods in a pea, you and me. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Right, you can read, just not English. Yeah, that makes sense I suppose. Sheepy: Grif: My intelligence is mostly oriented towards picking up skills quickly and retaining them rather than learning knowledge and applying it. Sheepy: Grif: We can work on growing smarter together. Okay? Sheepy: Grif: You may gain more INT by studying more, although I've heard that certain things can lower it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, okay... Has your dad said anything about whatever's going on yet? Sheepy: Grif: Dad? Can you see anything? I think it's Grandpa blocking your vision again. Arsé-kun: Yog: *from Kay's phone* It is him. He seems to be in a decent mood... But I never enjoy risking it. Sheepy: Grif: He has candy, but he's not eating the good part. Arsé-kun: Kay: You don't eat the paper wrapper, you dolt, that's the container. Sheepy: Grif: I like the paper wrapper. Arsé-kun: Kay: ...... Well, okay. Sheepy: Grif: You haven't had it? Arsé-kun: Kay: No, because I don't eat paper or plastic. Sheepy: Grif: You should experiment more. Arsé-kun: Kay: I like not destroying my organs, thanks. Arsé-kun: Kay: I. .... Okay, touché, but that isn't the reason for that. Sheepy: Grif: If you destroy your organs, I probably won't donate mine to you. Sheepy: Grif: I'll see how I feel right then and there. It depends. Although, maybe you'd die. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'd probably die. Sheepy: Grif: Then perish. Sheepy: Grif: Ah, but you can't just grow them back, right? Arsé-kun: Kay: No, Grif, I can't. Sheepy: Grif: Why are you so fragile? Arsé-kun: Kay: Because most humans are. Sheepy: Grif:.....Hmm. Sheepy: Grif: That's too bad. I guess we can't stay party members if you'll get hurt when you take damage. Arsé-kun: Kay: Last I checked, taking damage usually means getting hurt, dimwit. Sheepy: Grif: I just heal. Arsé-kun: Kay: Cool story bro. *he's finally getting annoyed.* Sheepy: Grif: You're too easily impressed. Arsé-kun: Kay: ....... Can we leave yet?? SSheepy: Grif: You're too easily impressed. Arsé-kun: Kay: ....... Can we leave yet?? Arsé-kun: Kay: Uugggghhhhhh! Sheepy: Grif: If you leave and there's a danger out there, you'll face it alone. I have orders. I won't ignore them. Arsé-kun: Kay: What, we can't just go out the back or side and go around this?? Sheepy: Grif: Dad said to stay put. Sheepy: Grif: I won't ignore his orders. Arsé-kun: Kay: If your dad told you to end yourself, would you?? Jeez! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Have you NO self-preservation?? Are you stupid???? Sheepy: Grif:...? Sheepy: Grif: If he thinks I should, I should. He cares about people, so it'd be with the interest of humans in mind. Sheepy: Grif: Didn't you hear? He basically already told me to do that in the situation of it being you or me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Gimme my phone back. Sheepy: Grif: *he gives Kay his phone back* Are you angry? Arsé-kun: Kay: Almost. Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] I need to scream into the void can I borrow you for like ten minutes Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] Yes, go ahead!! Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] JESUS FUCKING CHRIST your cousin has the self preservation of a lifeboat on a bed of sharpened nails, good fucking god, put some thought into what ur doing for five goddamn minutes you stupid bitch motherfucker but wait im not d- [message cuts off] Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] Kay? Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] -one yet! If this bastard is unaging bc of his dumb parents then either I'd die on him and thad fuckin suck big ass or he'll die bc hes a stupid bitch and thats a load of horse fucking shit id rather fuck a bowling ball Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] Shit feels pointless, I'm impatient, he's dumb as hell, and I'm stuck in Zann bc his orb dads like OOOO THERES A BAD I CANT SEE ONE GODDAMN THING OH NO and im dying i do not want to be here i need a fucking adult Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] If you enjoyed the time spent, it wasn't pointless! But do you want me to head over? I'm sorry. He can be a handful sometimes. Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] I want you to, but don't. You're not allowed in dangerous situations, remember? Fuck you. Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] You're in danger?! Hold on, I'm coming. Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] NO! DON'T YOU DARE YOU FUCK Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] Fine, fine. Then what should I do? Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] Ask the pisswizard to come pick us up or something. Just bypass the entire whatever's happening outside. I still don't see anything bad but APPARENTLY there is Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] but jeez ur almost as bad as Grif on this front, no wonder you're related Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] He's Merlin with an M, but you got two letters right. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, I can't judge you for being stupid on one front anymore. I told Bedi it was dangerous and the first fucking thing he said was "I'M COMING". He's not, but fuck you guys are bad at this. Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: No. Self. Preservation. Sheepy: Grif: So if you're to die, you want me to watch? Sheepy: Grif:.... Arsé-kun: Kay: That is not what I said. Arsé-kun: Kay: But don't charge in if you don't need to. Idiot. Sheepy: Grif: If someone's life is on the line, I will always charge in. Arsé-kun: Kay: Like I said, no wonder you two are related. Sheepy: Grif: No. He and I are different. Arsé-kun: Kay: He did it for an animal. You probably would too. The only difference is you'd win. Sheepy: Grif: And if I didn't, I'd just get up again. Sheepy: Grif: Dad will revive me until I'm not needed anymore. If I die permanently, it's because nobody needs me. Arsé-kun: Kay: So never, ok, gotcha. Sheepy: Grif: Hm? Sheepy: Grif: I'd hope one day they don't... Arsé-kun: Kay: Maybe not for this, but who knows? Sheepy: Grif: I'll always be happy ro help, but to become a crutch... Arsé-kun: Kay: Idiot. Moron. Do I have to spell it out for you? You can't have friends if you are dead. Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Sheepy: Grif: I have to protect my friends. Arsé-kun: Kay: How do you do that if you're dead? Sheepy: Grif: I can't. But I won't die for real until I'm no longer needed. If my friends need me, I'll stay alive. Sheepy: Grif: What, do you know someone who needs me? Arsé-kun: Kay: That's not what I was.... I was being figurative... Arsé-kun: *kay gets Shifty* Sheepy: Grif: My empathy stat is low. Arsé-kun: Kay: no shit. Sheepy: Grif: I have difficulty knowing wheb people need help or not. So I always try to help. Arsé-kun: *As Grif says this, Kay can watch out the window as Aza seems to notice something, rears up a MASSIVE semi-corporeal tentacle from who knows where, and swats Merlin back into this realm. No gnats allowed.* Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Hey, I just saw someone get tentacled into the ground, they might need that help. Sheepy: Grif:...! Sheepy: Grif: *he appears conflicted...* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... But yeah, I see why we don't go out now. Sheesh. Sheepy: *Grif finally decides that saving lives is a priority and opens the window, jumping through!* Arsé-kun: Kay: WAIT NOW YOU TAKE ACTION Sheepy: Grif: *he rushes over to Merlin and tries to help him up* Sheepy: Grif: You're unhurt, aren't you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Seems I've been acquainted with the ground against my will but otherwise? I think I'm ok. Sheepy: Grif: Good. But you could've been... Sheepy: Grif: Grandpa, you could've hurt him! He's fragile! Arsé-kun: Aza: ... Hm? Isn't everything? Sheepy: Grif: Yes, but them even moreso. They can't grow things back. Their damage can be permanent. Sheepy: Grif: You need to be more gentle with them. Okay? Arsé-kun: Aza: What did I even hit? A shoggoth? *he shifts his bangs (finally) for a quick peek* Arsé-kun: *something, somewhere, explodes. but thats probably not here* Sheepy: Grif: You hit this human. Arsé-kun: Aza: unfortunate. Sheepy: Grif: He might look similar to me but you can't be rough with him like you can with me. He's weak. Arsé-kun: *Merlin is slightly offended but does not comment* Sheepy: Grif: He was worried about you potentially accidentally hurting the humans inside so he came to bring them home with him. Arsé-kun: Aza: Perhaps do not try to whizz past me as the Shan already do. Sheepy: Grif: He was just concerned. Uncle's been tormenting people recently so they feel unsafe. You're very powerful so you ended up scaring them more. Arsé-kun: Aza: I am just here. I already encountered one humanoid. I did well, perhaps. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I watched you. You did a great job. Sheepy: Grif: Unfortunately, humans are cowardly. Sheepy: Grif: So you have to approach them carefully and be gentle. Sheepy: Grif: *clapping* Good job, Grandpa. Sheepy: Grif: I have a tip for you, too, Grandpa. I know how you can deal with bugs better than just swatting at them. Do you want to know how? Arsé-kun: Aza: Oh? I may not remember for long, but do share. Arsé-kun: *Merlin has exited scene. Goodbye.* Sheepy: Grif: Bug spray is great for dealing with bugs. Sheepy: Grif: I can write it down for you. Sheepy: Grif: You can also make Uncle remind you later. He likes helping you. Arsé-kun: Aza: Spray the Shan... Arsé-kun: Aza: ... What is "bug spray" made out of? Arsé-kun: Aza: Earth bugs? Sheepy: Grif: Poison. Sheepy: Grif: You can buy it at the store. Sheepy: Grif: It's poison that only hurts bugs. Arsé-kun: Aza: How specific. Humans do think of many things. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Much more than me. Sheepy: Grif: For example, they made a box that cooks things inside of it by spinning them. Arsé-kun: Aza: I have heard of this one! They refer to it as a MicroWave, but the only waves it uses are miniature radioactivity? There are no waves... Sheepy: Grif: Amazing. So that's how it works... But I didn't see any waves... Sheepy: Grif: Maybe they're so microscopic we can't see them. Arsé-kun: Aza: That would make sense. Sheepy: Grif: I can get you bug spray later. Arsé-kun: Aza: I would appreciate it before I attempt it myself. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I'll do it. Quest accepted. Sheepy: Grif:..... Quest accepted. Sheepy: Grif: ...Hold on. Sheepy: *Grif moves away from Aza* Arsé-kun: *Quest Added: "They Shan't"* Sheepy: Grif: Quest accepted. Sheepy: Grif: Dad, it wasn't anyone malicious. It was just Grandpa getting a snack. Arsé-kun: Yog: .... Malicious and dangerous are not the same, Griflet. Sheepy: Grif: He's nice. I like him. Arsé-kun: Yog: As do I. But he is very dangerous nonetheless. He is completely unpredictable and I cannot see anything within a distance of him. Sheepy: Grif: I promised to buy him bug spray. Arsé-kun: Yog: .... For the Shan? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: I think he's just lonely. People should act nicer towards him. Arsé-kun: Yog: It is hard to when he can kill you on accident. Sheepy: Grif: That's fine. It's only on accident. Arsé-kun: Yog: If he kills you, I cannot revive you at all. Sheepy: Grif: That's troublesome... Sheepy: Grif: But might end up being useful information for an enemy, so it's useful information for me. Arsé-kun: Yog: I suppose that is fair. Now-- Fast Travel to the base is permitted within the campus. Would you like to beat your roommates back to their own dorm? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: *skyrim loading screen* Sheepy: Grif: I've returned. Sheepy: Grif: Now I wait for the others to. Arsé-kun: *Grif is promptly hit with the door* Sheepy: Grif:?! Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't stand in the goddamn doorw--- Eh? How the fuck did you get here first? Sheepy: Grif: Ah... it scared me... Arsé-kun: Merlin: *piping up from somewhere behind Kay* by all accounts, it doesn't make any sense! Sheepy: Grif: I fast travelled here. Arsé-kun: Kay: So bullshit. Aight. Sheepy: Grif: Fast travel. Sheepy: Grif: You're funny. You hear words and then use different words to describe the exact same thing. Sheepy: Grif: Wouldn't it just be simpler to use the original word? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm calling it bullshit because I don't know or care how it works. Just don't stand in the doorway. Move. Sheepy: Grif: Hm... hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: So if I stand anywhere in the room other than the doorway, you'll like me more. Sheepy: *Grif backs up some before just standing there, staring at Kay* Sheepy: Grif: *staaaaaare* Arsé-kun: *Kay goes past him and beelines to the booze because of course he does. He's been through a lot today* Sheepy: Grif: *staaaaaaaaaaare* Arsé-kun: Merlin: *going past all this* Bedi, I got smacked out of a teleport by a giant tentacle today! ... No, I'm not hurt! Sheepy: Bedi: Did it apologize to you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nah. I startled the guy. That's on me I guess! Sheepy: Bedi: Sometimes you startle me, too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oops! Sheepy: Bedi: It's fine. When I realize it's you, it makes me happy. Sheepy: Bedi: So it's okay if it's you who's startling me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: <3 Sheepy: Grif: I see. This is how you bond. Arsé-kun: *it is not.* Sheepy: Grif: Kay, try to scare me. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm gonna drink to drown out the memories of anatomy class and also y'all flirting so, like, whatever, have fun, don't do anything so loudly that I can hear it in my room-- Arsé-kun: Kay: I can't scare you if you goddamn expect it, moron. Sheepy: Grif: Then we'll never bond, it seems. Sheepy: Grif: Okay, I'll act scared. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's not... Merlin, you're teaching him stupid crap. Fuck you. Sheepy: Grif: You teach me how to bond then. I want to be better friends with you. Arsé-kun: Kay: Did we not already have several experiences? Did they not count because you're an idiot? Sheepy: Grif: So we've bonded... Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif: So you like me better. Sheepy: Grif: Good. Good! Sheepy: Grif: That makes me happy! Arsé-kun: Kay: Good to know. Please shut up. I'm going to drink this entire bottle and then go to bed early because I can't do any more today. It's not happening. I refuse. Sheepy: Grif: You know what drink helps me go to sleep? Sheepy: Grif: Milk. I like ice cream, too. Arsé-kun: Kay: That gives me a better idea, actually. *Kay turns back to the kitchen. huh* Sheepy: Grif: ? I gave someone an idea... Sheepy: Grif: He must be desperate. Arsé-kun: *Kay returns some time later, passing through with what APPEARS to be a glass of milk. Do not be fooled- There is booze in there. He already stated his intention to drink booze.* Sheepy: Grif: It's milk. Good. Milk is nice. Arsé-kun: *Kay opts to not correct him. Good bye. Good night. fuck this.* Sheepy: Grif: Good night. Sleep tight. Don't look at the man in your doorway. Arsé-kun: Kay: Wh. What?? Sheepy: Grif: It's a joke. Arsé-kun: Kay: If you're in my doorway when I get up, I'm hitting you with the door. Sheepy: Grif: No, it wouldn't be me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey! I hate that. Sheepy: Grif: Don't worry. If he does anything I'll beat him up. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I'll protect you so you can sleep well. Arsé-kun: *Kay finally exits scene after finger gunning towards Grif. Ayy. He is exhausted after today and rightfully so.* Sheepy: *you know who isn't? Bedi, who's still flirting with Merlin in the background* Arsé-kun: *Fou is staring towards the fourth wall like the camera in the office.* Sheepy: *help him* Arsé-kun: *this is the life he lives. tragic* Sheepy: *Grif goes to bed.* Arsé-kun: *YOU CANNOT SLEEP WHEN ENEMIES ARE NEARBY! ... Nah, just kidding.* Sheepy: *in the morning, Grif appears to be getting ready for an outing with little concern about how much noise he's making when people are trying to sleep.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Oi, keep it down..! Sheepy: Grif: Perfect timing. You, come here. Arsé-kun: Kay: Right now...? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I need you. Arsé-kun: Kay: I just got up, Grif... *but he does go over* Sheepy: Grif: And not a minute too late. Sheepy: Grif: Or is it soon? Sheepy: Grif: Here, you take this. *he shoves a heavy bag into Kay's hands* Equip this. It's good for beginners. Arsé-kun: *Kay was not expecting it to be heavy and very nearly drops it* Sheepy: Grif: Don't drop it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Figuratively, you're the worst. Making me deal with this stuff minutes after getting up... *he's teasing. He does plop it down on a sofa so he doesn't have to hold it* Sheepy: Grif: Well, it's a gift. Sheepy: Grif: You're my party member. There's your equipment. I have a simple quest today. You're coming. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... *he sighs* Where are we headed, boss? Sheepy: Grif: The art museum that artist is trapped in. Sheepy: Grif: Its difficulty is very low, so it should be good for your first quest. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... ... You're lucky I already committed to following you to this. Let me do my business and I'll look into this. Sheepy: Grif: You might also have a better chance of getting him to willingly join us. Sheepy: Grif: I'll keep getting ready as you do. Go, go. Arsé-kun: *Kay goes to deal with his businesses. Aka anything required to get ready for the day* Sheepy: *Grif continues preparing in the meantime.* Arsé-kun: *Kay comes back about twenty minutes later, having put on sturdier clothes. ... This meaning a leather jacket and jeans, because most people don't own ARMOR.* Sheepy: *Grif has finished getting ready, donning his usual green armor. His face brightens up some upon seeing Kay!* Sheepy: Grif:...Good. You look nice. One day if you want to stay in my party you might need to have something safer to wear, and I'll get it for you. But for now, settle on that. Okay? Arsé-kun: Kay: I do? ... I mean, yeah, whatever, should I put on some elbow pads too while I'm at it? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: It's important to be well protected. Arsé-kun: *Kay gets elbow guards and comes back* Sheepy: Grif: Let's go. Arsé-kun: Kay: I guess! Not happy about any of this! Sheepy: Grif: Why? Arsé-kun: Kay: I haven't even TRIED to go offpath since.. A long time ago! I'm not looking forward to it! Sheepy: Grif: Then why come? Arsé-kun: Kay: Because SOMEONE has to make sure you don't die for some stupid idiot reason! Sheepy: Grif:...? Alright. Sheepy: Grif: Don't worry. I'll protect you. Sheepy: *Grif heads out to the museum!* Arsé-kun: *Kay follows him closely, hesitant and not happy abut this... But he already committed.* Sheepy: *Grif is keeping his guard up.* Arsé-kun: *Kay is still wary of this dark world of off the path, understandably.* Sheepy: Grif: The real danger is soon. Sheepy: Grif: I can heal any physical damage, so feel free to use me as a meat shield. Arsé-kun: Kay: Nnnnnoted.. Sheepy: Grif: But if it's attacking my mind, that may be more dangerous. My control is what keeps you safe. Sheepy: Grif: Squishy... Sheepy: Grif: You know what else is squishy? Arsé-kun: Kay: What? Sheepy: Grif: Slugs. Sheepy: Grif: So are the things that fascinate them. Sheepy: Grif: Soft, damp areas. Dead bodies. Moldy things. Sheepy: Grif: It grows on trees and sloths, too. You can get a pet one. Mold balls. Arsé-kun: Kay: Gross. Arsé-kun: *unsure if that is in reply to what Grif said, or a passing monstrosity* Sheepy: Grif: We're close by, too. Sheepy: Grif: Do you like art? Arsé-kun: Kay: Eh. Sheepy: Grif: It's very crunchy but usually too oily for my tastes. Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... *he just sighs. He doesn't care to reply to this when everything is dangerous and scary* Sheepy: Grif: I like the green ones. I'd like to eat a green art one day. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... What is wrong with you... Sheepy: Grif: I've heard you can buy them at the store but they're prickly. Sheepy: Grif: The last time I ate a prickly thing I got sick. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe you don't go out of your comfort zone enough. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... An artichoke..?? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: makes a lot more sense. Sheepy: Grif: It doesn't make me choke, so it's just art. Sheepy: Grif: But it makes my stomach hurt... Arsé-kun: Kay: .... You do cook it, right. Sheepy: Grif: Cook it? Sheepy: Grif: I'm supposed to cook it? Arsé-kun: Kay: .... I'll show you if we both survive this without lasting trauma. Sheepy: Grif: Trauma... Sheepy: Grif: Oh, we're here, the art museum. Arsé-kun: *The building is, of course, big. Bigger than the Zann building, and in much worse condition. Many parts are made of a pale, crumbling material that falls apart on touch. There are vines and less describable things almost entirely covering it, but the entryway is completely clear of hazards* Sheepy: Grif: How kind of them to make the entrance so easy to access. They must have known we were going to come. Arsé-kun: Kay: That, or it's used a lot... Hey, will it be less dark inside..? Sheepy: Grif: Are you scared of the dark? If you have a lighter, it might help with the darkness. Arsé-kun: Kay: Not the dark. Whatever is here I can't see... I really don't wanna be here.. Sheepy: Grif: We can go back. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... We're already here. I may as well trudge through the rest. Sheepy: Grif: If you say so. There may be a point of no return. Arsé-kun: Kay: There better be a return..! I have a test on Friday I have to take! Sheepy: Grif: I see. Even in there. Sheepy: Grif: As in, I will. Arsé-kun: Kay: Good for you! Sheepy: Grif: I'll protect you. Sheepy: Grif: Let's go in. Sheepy: Grif: I'll protect you. Sheepy: Grif: It's dark. Arsé-kun: Kay: No shit! Sheepy: Grif: We're looking for a human, right? Sheepy: Grif: All I see is paintings. No art. I was hungry, too. Arsé-kun: Kay: Art. Artwork. Artwork and Artichokes are completely different, you meandering doltazoid. Sheepy: Grif: Artwork... Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif: This stuff is beyond me. Sheepy: Grif: I'd prefer pictures of dragons. It's mostly pictures of women. Sheepy: Grif: I think it's creative that the walls start writing on themselves. It reminds me of the story with that king. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, sucks for the writer! I can't see it, you can't read, and we're coming in there, jackhole! Arsé-kun: Kay: *he raises his voice a little more* My bud got a strict request from YOUR brothers to get your shit ass out of this dump! They have a whole fucking building to themselves, make that a museum people can actually go to instead of this dark bitch-ass motherfucker! Sheepy: *There's the sound of someone shifting towards them in the darkness...* Arsé-kun: Kay: You better fuckin' be human, or Grif's putting a hole through you..! Sheepy: ?: N-no...! I, I... D-don't hurt me! *they sound closeby!* Arsé-kun: Kay: If you're human, there's no intent to harm! Come out so I can maybe see you! *he points his equipped weapon in that vague direction. it is, unfortunately, a golf club.* Sheepy: *They approach.* Arsé-kun: *Kay squinte realle harde* Arsé-kun: *... He can't see shit still. He knows someone is there but it does not help his eyesight.* Sheepy: ?: I-I'm here...but...outside, it's... Arsé-kun: Kay: Better than this. Seriously, isn't this place full of eldritch fuckamacallits? *classy.* How's that any good? Go lock yourself in a public bathroom instead, that's still better than the chance of being offed for shits. Sheepy: ?: ....I-it's my domain...! *he raises his voice some* Here, d-death can't get me! This is a world without death! S-so...! Arsé-kun: Kay: bitch please Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey, speaking of that, your immortal brother keeps going ghost and it's very upsetting to him, can you deal with that? Sheepy: ?: I've given him the g-gift of immortality and he av...averted his eyes, so...so... Arsé-kun: Kay: Turning into a fucking ghost every five minutes is not immortality, you stain of cream cheese. Sheepy: ?: It isn't my problem! Arsé-kun: Kay: IT'S ABOUT TO BE! Sheepy: ?: No! No! L-leave me alone! If you try to hurt me, I-I'll...! Arsé-kun: Kay: I already said I'm not going to, idiot! Sheepy: Grif: Power going up. Health going down. Arsé-kun: Kay: I can't even fucking see this man. Grif, can you stop being useless in the sidelines for five goddamn minutes? Sheepy: Grif: If I hit him, he will certainly die. Arsé-kun: Kay: Do you have any useful tips and tricks to see in this shit realm of bullshit?? Sheepy: ?: No! No! I-I can't die! You can't make me! Sheepy: Grif: Use a lighter. Arsé-kun: Kay: That won't be jack shit. Sheepy: ?: ...! No fire! No fire! No fire! *They continue saying this, more panicked each time...* Arsé-kun: Kay: Hear that? No fire, Grif. Get a better tip. Sheepy: Grif: Use a flashlight. Arsé-kun: Kay: Do you HAVE one? Sheepy: Grif: No. Sheepy: ?: I'll.... I'll...! Arsé-kun: Kay: That's it. Let's get stupid. *he takes out his phone and turns on the light* Where are you, bitch boy? Sheepy: ?: Ah...ah...! *he cowers, covering his eyes. It's a messy, weak looking man who appears to not have eaten properly in a while...* Sheepy: Grif: Ah. That kinda hurts... Arsé-kun: Kay: Get wrecked, Grif, that sounds like a personal problem. Arsé-kun: Kay: Ey, art boy. You look like shit. What have you been eating, paint? Sheepy: ?: The rays of Heaven! Its gaze burns my soul! It will consume me whole! I don't want to die! *whimper* I-I don't... *sob* don't...don't...! Arsé-kun: Kay: You sound like you've been eating paint, too, goddamn. Arsé-kun: *But Kay does turn the light off and put his phone away. He knows where the man is now.* Sheepy: ?: Those wh-who break the rules of the museum will be punished! Reapers of Death will be slain! Death cannot grasp me here! This is a world that needs no death... This is a world that doesn't need YOU! Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey Grif? I don't think we're wanted here. Sheepy: *Something is quickly approaching, making scratching noises across the floor.* Sheepy: Grif: Boss is here. Arsé-kun: Kay: U-uh! That's your problem..! Sheepy: Grif: [TRASH is approaching!] Sheepy: *Something lunges at Kay!* Arsé-kun: *Whatever it is, it sure does hit him and HARD, easily slamming him to the floor. Kay was not remotely prepared for this!* Sheepy: *It claws at his face!* Arsé-kun: *Kay loses all of his built-up Bravado bonuses! Kay gains the Trauma status! Kay freezes up and can no longer take actions this turn!.... Kay was fine up until his face got hit. Too familiar of a feeling, I guess.* Sheepy: Grif: ...! Arsé-kun: Yog: *from Paimon* ... He is fine, Griflet. It was only five hit points of damage. Take on the boss and continue as intended. Sheepy: *An angry howl rings out near Kay before something tears the monster off of him! They pull back their claws, and-* Sheepy: *An angry howl rings out near Kay before something tears the monster off of him! They pull back their claws, and-* Arsé-kun: Yog: *from Paimon, with a rather urgent tone* Unnecessary action, Kay has not sustained any heavy damage! Over 3/4ths of his health remains! It is only a status condition, settle down now..! Sheepy: Grif: *He slowly puts his hand down before dropping it* Sheepy: *The creature skitters away...* Arsé-kun: Yog: Boss retreated. Sheepy: Grif: ...Good. Sheepy: ?: *he's fearfully trembling...* I-I'll... I'll go anywhere...just don't hurt me...! A demon...! A demon...! Here to drag me to the pits of...Ghhhk! *he collapses...* Arsé-kun: Yog: ... Target down. Urgency level reduced. Take your time. Sheepy: Grif: Right. *he approaches Kay and bends down* Are you okay? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yy-yeah, yeah, every, everything's fine! My eye stings a bit... *it's either a tear or a drop of blood rolling down his face. Maybe both!* My patch was ruined.. Sheepy: Grif: It stings... I'm sorry. I failed to protect you. Arsé-kun: Kay: Didn't do me much good with you standing over there..! Sheepy: Grif: I know. Arsé-kun: Kay: Moron. Bastard. Hold this ruined thing so I can wipe my face off. Sheepy: Grif: *he takes it* I won't make the same mistake again. Arsé-kun: Kay: Please don't..! I nearly relived my bad experience out there..! Sheepy: Grif: The next time something targets you, I'll...! Arsé-kun: Kay: Make sure I don't get hit after running my mouth? heepy: Grif: I'll tear them to shreds! Arsé-kun: *Kay flinches a little from volume* Arsé-kun: Kay: Could you not.... ... *Kay trails off and blinks. Blinks again. Looks around, seemingly confused* ... Hey Grif? Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: How.. How clear is this place to you..? Like, vision wise? Sheepy: Grif: Fairly clear. And yet, I just let it happen. Arsé-kun: Kay: Because my good eye couldn't see at all, but... Sheepy: Grif: It felt weak to me, and I thought you could gain useful experience... Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, I can goddamn see you with my bad eye. Sheepy: Grif:...What? Sheepy: Grif: But, you're... Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't know! *he covers his good eye with his hand* And I can still see you! This would've been SO much better coming here..! Sheepy: Grif: I didn't know... Arsé-kun: Kay: Neither did I!!! Arsé-kun: Kay: Getting completely fucked up by a monster has it's perks??? Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: Didn't Merlin tell you already? I got fucked up by an offpath thing a long time ago. Could that be why...? Or is that too anime shojo hero nonsense? Sheepy: Grif: He did tell me. I don't get it... Sheepy: Grif: It's useful information. Arsé-kun: Kay: Whatever, I'll fuckin' take it! Beats being blind any day! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: *Logs updated!* Sheepy: Grif: Logs updated. Arsé-kun: Yog: Cut-time's up. Normal time resumed. Please return to your quest. Sheepy: Grif: Right. Sheepy: *Grif leaves Kay's side and lifts up the man like a sack of potatoes.* Arsé-kun: Kay: That... That also works. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Is that all we needed to do? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Let's head back. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Right, we gotta walk all the way back. Yech. Sheepy: Grif: Right. Sheepy: Grif: I'll keep you safe for real this time. Arsé-kun: Kay: Why don't you, um... *he sounds nervous* Start by telling me what to do ab-about THAT! Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: *he points to a distant entryway, where a humanoid(?) thing stands. The Mummy.* Sheepy: Grif:....! Sheepy: Grif: *he grabs Kay and starts running in the opposite direction* Arsé-kun: Kay: I dunno about you, b-bu---Oh okay! We're running! Okay, all right! Sheepy: Grif: I can't face it in my current state! Arsé-kun: Yog: That is correct! It is far too strong to be dealt with at this time! Retreat! Sheepy: Grif: Right! Arsé-kun: *they get the FUCK out of dodge.* Sheepy: Grif: Successfully escaped! Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck that! Fuck that shit! Sheepy: Grif: Our quest is complete, let's just rush home! Arsé-kun: Kay: I'd like that! Sheepy: Grif: Drop this guy off on the way. Arsé-kun: Kay: Where??? Sheepy: Grif: The theater. Arsé-kun: *Fast travel enabled. However, a cutscene will play at the border. Do you wish to continue?* Arsé-kun: *"Yes" is automatically selected* Arsé-kun: *Fast Travel brings them Right to the edge of the off-path, letting them slam through and back onto the normal path. Griflet, being used to this, is fine. Kay proceeds to slam straight into something- or someONE- immediately after stumbling. It'll take him a moment to register vision, as one eye is more or less shutting down while the other adjusts to the natural daylight* Sheepy: Bedi: —Ah...! Sheepy: Grif: It’s you. Sheepy: Grif: Kay? Are you alright? Arsé-kun: Kay: You have GOT to warn me for that shit! Sorry, Bedi! .... Why the fuck are you here?! Sheepy: Bedi: Because I heard you were going off the path! What were you thinking...?! You could've died! I wasn't going to sit around and let that happen! *For once, Bedi isn't just grinning and bearing his feelings! Scary.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Someone had to go with this fucking idiot! You think I wanted to either?! You see anyone else willing to do it? Sheepy: Grif: Hmm, but usually I work alone... Sheepy: Grif:...Not that I disliked having a companion. Arsé-kun: Kay: If I come with you again for some insane fucking reason, I want a face covering. Sheepy: Bedi: You aren't some kind of babysitter! It's not your job to go out and watch over people! Why do you insist on being a helicopter mom only when it puts your life at risk?! You could die! And your presence there doesn't make a difference anyway! It just means more bodies in the end! Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, like you haven't?! And excuse you, my being there helped the idiot get a man OUT so *ahem* *flips off Bedi* I did do something, thank you very much! At least I didn't lose a whole limb doing it! OH WAIT Sheepy: Bedi:...! Arsé-kun: Kay: And yeah, no shit. It sucked! It sucked ass! Arsé-kun: Kay: But after some of the dumb bitch shit this man's said? Yeah, no, he's not allowed to be alone anymore. Stupid bastard thinks dying is ok. Fucking bitch asshole. Sheepy: Bedi: *he clutches Airgetlam tightly with his other hand* I... If you weren't there, it would've ended the same way. Now you're just chasing after someone else to prove that isn't true. Arsé-kun: Kay: So I can't make up for being useless by helping to save someone? Aight! Lets go get drunk! Sheepy: Bedi: You're going to die if you keep running unnecessary risks! Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, like that'll be a problem. Sheepy: Bedi:....! Sheepy: *Bedi, without warning, punches Kay!* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... I deserved that. But I already GOT beat up for my hubris! Can I go home now? Sheepy: Bedi: Do what you want. According to you, I don't care, and it doesn't really matter either way. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck, Bedi, obviously you do or you wouldn't be here. Sheepy: Bedi: Well, you say your death wouldn't be a problem. You know better than I do. Arsé-kun: Kay: Let me just add another instance of "reckless dumbass" on my list of sins and shut up. Arsé-kun: Kay: Because HE'S about as charismatic as a wet paper towel *he gestures to Grif* It was my job to lure th' fuckin' twig of a man out of hiding. I did it. I really did, but I'm kind of an asshole. Y'know! The kind that keeps going until I get bitchsmacked? Y'know!! Sheepy: Bedi:...But... Sheepy: Grif: I would've just put him out of commission so I could've grabbed him. You didn't need to do that. Sheepy: Grif: Although, I suppose this is more pacifistic. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... *he shoots Grif a glare* .... Not helping me here, stupid. Sheepy: Grif: Hmm. How to help... Sheepy: Grif: Ah. Sheepy: Grif: The enemy was weak so I let it fight you for valuable experience. Sheepy: Grif: But after I realized you were weaker, I dealt with it. Arsé-kun: *>Kay will remember this* Sheepy: Grif: It's okay. You can gain experience by just being with me. I was rushing too quickly into things. Sheepy: Grif: Don't get hurt in the future. Arsé-kun: Kay: gee whiz. Sheepy: Grif: I nearly did regrettable things there. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sucks. Sheepy: Grif: Ah... No, tearing. Arsé-kun: *Kay doesn't bother correcting him* Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey, how about you deal with your mission? Go. Finish that. Sheepy: Grif: You should go home. Go, go. Your face needs cleaning. Deflection. Sheepy: Grif: It kind of stings though. Too bad it doesn't work for internal wounds. Sheepy: Grif: You can't drink it or you'll die. Sheepy: Grif: Me, I tried it once to deal with internal injuries. It's listed as a consumable, after all. Sheepy: Grif: I... Sheepy: *Bedi's already begun walking away wordlessly. Shut up Grif* Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... Ugh. Look, Bedi, you're right and I appreciate it, but could you at least let me have the one try at helping other people? For once? Sheepy: Bedi: And putting your life at risk? If you died, I'd...! Just do what you want! Arsé-kun: Kay: Why not?? I've already done it enough goddamn times! It'll work eventually! Sheepy: Bedi: It's only a matter of time before you lose something truly precious to you because of your actions. Arsé-kun: Kay: I have two friends and no goddamn life. What the hell else is there to lose? My current record for all time low? Sheepy: Bedi: I... Sheepy: Bedi: I can tell you aren't going to budge from your viewpoint. You're already damaging your health. This isn't much different. I can't stop you either way. So... I'll stop trying. That's what you'd like, right? Arsé-kun: Kay: That's not what I said. You deaf? Or just ignorant like Lucan? I gave TRYING to help someone the ol' college try, and I get it! I'm not built for it! Sheepy: Bedi: You aren't going to risk your life anymore? Sheepy: Grif: ? Sheepy: Bedi: That's not what I... Sheepy: Grif: I see... Arsé-kun: Kay: Then what can I do that won't somehow end in being lectured?? Sheepy: Grif: Humans give up after one or two failures. I see. Arsé-kun: Kay: This one does! We're not all juggernauts of willpower like you, moron! Sheepy: Grif: But you helped me. Sheepy: Grif: I'm bad with people. So you coaxed him out. I appreciate that. Thank you. Arsé-kun: *... Despite feeling every variation of the word "bitter", Kay appreciates this. He isn't replying to it, though.* Sheepy: Grif: I just threw you into the deep end and you drowned. That's okay. Maybe at a smaller depth you can start learning to swim. Sheepy: Grif: Although, the last time I went into water... Let's not go in water. Sheepy: Grif: Hey, I know. All you need is to be able to begin by practicing on a foe who won't hit you. Sheepy: Grif: You can practice on me. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's retarded. Sheepy: Grif: I'm a dummy. Sheepy: Grif: You punch me and I don't fight back. Like the wooden dummies. Sheepy: Grif: But I'm a flesh dummy Sheepy: Grif: Because I'm made of flesh. Arsé-kun: Kay: Go finish what you started before I deck you and shove my boot so far up your ass that you can taste it. Sheepy: Grif: Amazing... How capable you are. Show me your moves when I'm done. Sheepy: Grif: I'll be back soon without this man. You can then deck me and boot me. Arsé-kun: Kay: If I'm still here. Still debating it. Sheepy: Grif: You won't be home? Arsé-kun: Kay: Haven't decided. Sheepy: Grif: But I have "bonding with Kay" on my schedule for today. Arsé-kun: Kay: Didn't we do that already? Was all this not enough? Was me appreciating your sentiments not enough either? Fuck. Sheepy: Grif: ? Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't worry about it. Sheepy: Grif: Okay, I won't. Sheepy: Grif: Make sure you treat your face. If you don't know how, I can do it. Sheepy: Grif: I've done it many times for myself. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll get it dealt with. Sheepy: Grif: Okay. Be safe. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, uh. You too. Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. I'm the most dangerous being on the path usually. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... I was being polite, moron. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Polite... Sheepy: Grif: Kay can be polite... Hmm... Arsé-kun: Kay: Goddamn GO already, dipshit! Sheepy: Grif: Okay. Bye. *he heads off* Arsé-kun: *Kay drags himself off. He has no idea where he's going, but he sure is.* Sheepy: *Later on...* Sheepy: Holmes: --Are you Kay? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, what's it to ya? *he leans over to see from his perch in a tree. his mood has not improved.* Sheepy: Holmes: Your friend was looking for you. He told me you went missing and asked me to find you. Sheepy: Holmes: Or he claimed to be your friend, anyway. I suppose I have no evidence backing that up. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Yeah, sounds right. Lemme guess: "Go home"? Sheepy: Holmes: You got it. Sheepy: Holmes: I can walk you back if you'd like. Sheepy: Holmes: I have jobs to do but I don't mind. Sheepy: Holmes: If not, make sure you head back soon. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, yeah, I'll get going. Hold on. Sheepy: Holmes: Good. Arsé-kun: *Kay gets down. Holmes would recognize the thing in his mouth as a wood carving knife. and the thing in his hand as a work-in-progress carving.* Sheepy: Holmes: Hmm, maybe that's why he was concerned. Arsé-kun: Kay: ? *he takes the knife out* What? Sheepy: Holmes: Nothing. Arsé-kun: Kay: Look, if you're gonna call me a dumbass, just get it over with. Sheepy: Holmes: Oh, then it's over with? Sheepy: Holmes: Well, let's head back then. Sheepy: Holmes: Unless you're going alone. Sheepy: Holmes: It's up to you, but student escort services are always open. Arsé-kun: Kay: I can manage. Thanks anyway. Sheepy: Holmes: You're welcome. Sheepy: *Holmes heads off.* Arsé-kun: *Kay does start going home, gradually, but he's taking his time.* Sheepy: *Understandable, Kay!* Arsé-kun: *Do we have the time to hit another plot pont? WE DOOOO* Sheepy: Holmes: --Good afternoon. Arsé-kun: Herb: Good afternoon, Detective. Are you here for an autopsy report? Sheepy: Holmes: You could call it that. Sheepy: Holmes: I've heard murmurings that you have something to do with the disappearances of bodies at the morgue. Sheepy: Holmes: Do you have updates that you wanted to submit? Arsé-kun: Herb: How ridiculous. I'm a medical examiner. I'm going to take them to do my job. If you'd like documents for the last dozen that I've done, I'll need to print them. No current updates. Sheepy: Holmes: Is that so. Sheepy: Holmes: I'd like the documents, yes. Arsé-kun: Herb: That's a shame. As you can see, both of my hands are currently occupied. Sheepy: Holmes: Then as you do that, I'd like to ask you a few more questions. Arsé-kun: Herb: Certainly, but no touching anything. Sheepy: Holmes: Worry not. I won't need to. What happens to the bodies after you work with them? Arsé-kun: Herb: After they leave my possession? Hell if I know. I'm not a graveyard worker. Sheepy: Holmes: Oh, now that doesn't seem quite right. Sheepy: Holmes: You're sure about that? Arsé-kun: Herb: You know what I mean. I don't decide where they're buried and whatnot. Sheepy: Holmes: But you do decide if they are buried or not, don't you? Even if you aren't supposed to. Arsé-kun: Herb: Detective, I hate when you do this. What do you want? Did something happen that warrants my concern again? Sheepy: Holmes: Ah, I think it should warrant your concern. Sheepy: Holmes: I was informed you're reviving bodies. Sheepy: Holmes: If you're going to do science experiments deserving their place in horror movies, please do it outside of class where one of your little experiments doesn't try to get up in front of students. Arsé-kun: Herb: ... It was after class had already ended, first of all. Second, it was put down by my patron's child, and third? The movies already exist. Sheepy: Holmes: Exactly. You need not recreate them. Arsé-kun: Herb: Look, if some medical dropout can achieve it, then I absolutely deserve a second try at making it work! Sheepy: Holmes: Please do it in a better controlled environment. Arsé-kun: Herb: Let me just pay for that! Oh wait. I can't. My patron is a money hog. Sheepy: Holmes: However, it could have gotten up before class ended. Arsé-kun: Herb: Class! Was! Over! It did not get up until well afterwards! Sheepy: Holmes: That was coincident timing. It could have risen before class was over. Sheepy: Holmes: Do not endanger people with your experiments. Arsé-kun: Herb: It isn't getting up if it isn't injected. Sheepy: Holmes: How did another student see it, then? Arsé-kun: Herb: A student stayed behind with my patron's child as he discussed an irrelevant matter with me. Sheepy: Holmes: I see. Wait untik they all leave next time. Sheepy: holmes; I can't stop you but I can try to create some boundaries Arsé-kun: Herb: What do you think the barriers are for? Fun? Sheepy: Holmes: No. Sheepy: Holmes: Wait until the students leave next time. All students. Don't give them unnecessary fears about undead. Arsé-kun: Herb: Does it help if the student in question was more upset by the corpse than it being undead? Because that is very strange even in my opinion. Sheepy: Holmes: No. Sheepy: Holmes: Be more careful in the future. I would not like for rumors to spread and students to be concerned. Thank you. Sheepy: Holmes: Will you be more careful? Arsé-kun: Herb: Yes, yes. Now get out of my office. Sheepy: Holmes: I'll take your word for it. Goodbye, and good luck. *he exits* Arsé-kun: *Herb grumbles something about kicking students out after class and then goes back to work. His legit job. the glowing green stuff is not present* Sheepy: *Good, it's good to do your legit job sometimes!* Arsé-kun: *ok back to Kay and his tiring trek up the stairs. He's not feeling it. He's really not feeling it. Time to quit and use the elevator* Sheepy: *you do that, Kay!* Arsé-kun: *whys this bitch smell like flowers? did merlin practice magic in here?* Sheepy: *at least he can return to his place and rest!* Arsé-kun: *Kay pushes his dorm door open after kicking it in the right spot. who needs a doorknob when u have knowledge* Sheepy: *It doesn't take long for someone to hug Kay without warning!* Arsé-kun: Kay: ?! Sheepy: ?: Welcome back! I've been waiting for you! Sheepy: *It's a young girl with reddish blonde hair. Wrong dorm?* Arsé-kun: Kay: Wh-wh-why are YOU here?!? Sheepy: ?: *she tilts her head* I guess you wouldn't know, would you? Arsé-kun: Kay: No, I wouldn't! I've been out all day! Sheepy: ?: We're roommates now, 'roomie'!... I don't really like calling you that, so you'll still be Kay. Arsé-kun: Kay: Aru, that's not funny, why are you here? This is a guy's dorm for four people max, anyway. Sheepy: Aru: Just as I said, I'm your new roommate. Sheepy: Aru: Teacher got a hold of someone who worked here, so it's all legitimate. Don't worry about that! Sheepy: Aru:...Although, let's be honest, he probably bribed them. Sheepy: Aru: If it helps any, it wasn't because of you. You're a pleasant coincidence! Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, but I told some of the guys I don't have siblings. Awkward. Sheepy: Aru: But you have me. You also have Arthur and Arturia. Arsé-kun: Kay: Gosh, you really had to... Arsé-kun: Kay: Because it's easier to keep families together? Wait, no. Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't know. Sheepy: Aru: It's okay, you can have a "you tried" prize! *she gives him a flower* Arsé-kun: Kay: Thanks? Sheepy: Aru: I'm here for Merlin. Arsé-kun: Kay: That is actually extremely worrying. What do you want with that shithead? Sheepy: Aru: He's my new teacher. Now I have two. Sheepy: Aru: Teacher said to learn from him for a while. Arsé-kun: Kay: Him? Responsibility? He's like a 70's wizard hippie. He doesn't do work. Sheepy: Aru: Yes, I met him and immediately realized that I'm just a plot device to teach it to him as he teaches me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Good fucking luck, but it doesn't mean I'm happy that you're here. I mean, sure, but this is a guy's dorm! Sheepy: Aru: So far, the three I've met have been, uh... Arsé-kun: Kay: Shit wizard, dumbass and Bedi? Sheepy: Aru: Yes. Sheepy: Aru: The second one, I gave him a gift, and he... Arsé-kun: Kay: Great, now I don't have to do it. The moron's, uh. A bit special. Sheepy: Aru: Who eats people's gifts?! Arsé-kun: Kay: *mocking grif* it restores my hit points Sheepy: Aru: Just, right then and there? Nobody eats flowers! Sheepy: Grif: It was tasty. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't eat my sister's gifts you mon-- You bastard. Sheepy: Grif: But it's tasty. Sheepy: Aru: I worked hard to find these. You can only find them, well... Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Well? Did you do the same dumb shit I did earlier? Sheepy: Aru: If I've grasped the situation, yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: By "Earlier" i mean several hours ago. Now please move. I need to pour the non-drinking alcohol on my face and burn it. Sheepy: Aru: *she shifts* Arsé-kun: Kay: .... wait hold the fuck on why were YOU going off?! Sheepy: Aru: The best materials are found off the path. Sheepy: Aru: There's flowers if you look for them, so I pick those, too. Sheepy: Grif: They're tasty. Arsé-kun: Kay: Can you at LEAST bring someone with you??? Sheepy: Aru: Who would I bring? Arsé-kun: Kay: Who cares? Just don't do it alone. That's how you get fucked up. Sheepy: Aru: The creatures out there aren't so bad once you get to know them. Arsé-kun: Kay: One took Bedi's arm off! Sheepy: Aru: Well, that's true. Arsé-kun: Kay: All it takes is one in a bad mood and whoops! You're dead! Sheepy: Aru: I'm not so sure. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're the worst. One fucked up my vision permanently and you "Aren't sure"?? Sheepy: Aru: I just don't think they're all bad. Arsé-kun: Kay: I wanna see Bedi's face when you say that shit. Also, where is he? Sheepy: Aru: He was moping and worrying about you in his room earlier. Sheepy: Aru: I think I cheered him up a bit. Arsé-kun: Kay: Pain in my ass. *he pats Aru's shoulder on the way past. bye, annoying sister!* Sheepy: Grif: That's what my uncle calls me. Arsé-kun: Kay: wonder why. *he ducks into the pantry briefly and then knocks on Bedi's door* Sheepy: Bedi: *he doesn't sound happy* Come in. Arsé-kun: *Kay opens the door, takes a few steps in, and then lightly tosses a capri sun at Bedi. take the juice u stupid overworrying bitch* Sheepy: Bedi: ? Arsé-kun: Kay: Got somethin' else but I ain't throwing it. Sheepy: Bedi: ??? Arsé-kun: *Kay puts the wood carving he'd made down on the nearest surface. It's... It's Fou! He did a good job on this one!* Sheepy: Bedi:...! It's cute...! Arsé-kun: Kay: For you, because I'm an asshole. Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you. I appreciate it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Thought you would. The guy you sent to complain at me caught me while I was finishing it. Sheepy: Bedi: I was just worried. I didn't know if you were coming back. Arsé-kun: Kay: Obviously. This is MY dorm after all! Sheepy: Bedi: I know, it’s just... Sheepy: Bedi: I’m sorry about what I said. Everything I said. Sheepy: Bedi: I just can’t stand the idea of you getting hurt. I think seeing you off the path after everything and seeing the injuries on your face made me blow up. I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry. Sheepy: Bedi: ... Especially since the only thing holding me back from pursuing you was Merlin. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, me too. But I don't want you doing the stupid shit! That's always my gig, and if you got hurt again I might honesty commit arson. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... But huh, Merlin vanished real quick once we showed up. Sheepy: Bedi: Um, arson...where?? Arsé-kun: Kay: Hell if I know. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Real talk, though. Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif kinda just recruited me to help rescue one guy and I thought "Hey, I've seen this man punch through bone. It'll be fine probably!" Arsé-kun: Kay: It was mostly okay? Shockingly? I think he's a repellant. I still absolutely hated it and don't wanna repeat it though! Sheepy: Bedi: So you won't do it again? Arsé-kun: Kay: Not willingly! Sheepy: Bedi: Have you treated your face yet? Arsé-kun: Kay: Nope. Sheepy: Bedi: I'll do it myself if you won't. Arsé-kun: Kay: I just didn't get to it yet! Sheepy: Bedi: It might get infected. You don't know what was on those claws. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fair enough. Sheepy: Bedi: I'll do it if you won't. Arsé-kun: Kay: Look, if you wanna do it so bad, just say so! Sheepy: Bedi: Give it to me. Arsé-kun: Kay: I didn't bring it with me! Sheepy: Bedi: Then I'll get it. Sheepy: *Bedi leaves briefly before returning with the necessary tools.* Arsé-kun: *Medical supplies! Surprise tools that will help us later!* Sheepy: Bedi: *he goes to treat Kay's face!* Arsé-kun: *kay has a bad time. but less bad than anything else. it is tolerated* Sheepy: Bedi: I'm sorry about the stinging, but it's better than an infection. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, absolutely. Sheepy: Bedi: Should we bandage it? Arsé-kun: Kay: Without getting my everything else? I don't think so. Sheepy: Bedi: I see... I suppose injuries heal faster when exposed to the air, right? Arsé-kun: Kay: I know they heal faster when exposed to Merlin doing his job. Sheepy: Bedi: Right, let's talk to him then. Arsé-kun: *Merlin's sweater is slightly on fire while he stares at Aru. He's not angry. Just sort of disappointed* Sheepy: Aru: That's less flammable than I would have guessed... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I liked this sweater... Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck your sweater! Heal me, bitch! *classy* Sheepy: Aru: I'll try again without burning your sweater!... No promises I won't burn something else! Sheepy: Bedi:?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I asked her to show me what she already knew. It went about as well as when I ask you for a progress update! Sheepy: Bedi: Ah... So not well. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe you should invest in clothes that aren't flammable. Sheepy: Aru: I'm sure they exist. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, they exist, made of what used to be called salamander furs! It's a very bad idea! Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's known today as Asbestos! Sheepy: Aru: Well, this is a problem. Sheepy: Bedi: I try very hard, but I always slip up. Arsé-kun: Merlin: mistakes happen. Arsé-kun: Kay: My ass done get learned. Can somebody heal my goddamn face?? Sheepy: Aru: I could try, but there's a chance I could mess up. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes, yes, let me put myself out first. Arsé-kun: *Merlin deals with this by taking his sweater off and stomping on it. Whatever works!* Sheepy: Grif: Another way to put out a fire is to not be set on fire to begin with. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You get it. But I save that for me, not my shirt. Arsé-kun: Merlin: right, right, heals. Coming up! Arsé-kun: *Merlin heals Kay. hp fully restored. the floor is flowers again* Sheepy: Grif: How? Sheepy: Grif: The floor is covered in plants... Sheepy: Grif:...*he bends down, plucks one of the flowers, and eats it* Arsé-kun: Merlin: It just kinda happens! Better to use the excess for something rather than just exploding things! Sheepy: *Aru is awestruck!* Sheepy: Aru: I want to learn how to do that! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I get the impression it's better suited for you, anyway. Kay would probably prefer that too. Arsé-kun: *KAY WILL REMEMBER THIS* Sheepy: Aru: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: He's being a bitch Sheepy: Aru: I got that impression about him from Teacher... Sheepy: Bedi: Ah, he's become infamous. Arsé-kun: Merlin: How?? From who? Sheepy: Aru: From my teacher, of course. He told me to go learn from you. I feel like he'd be better suited, but maybe he's a little worried about you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: But who the hell is that? Who knows about me?? Sheepy: Aru: Primo. Arsé-kun: *Merlin blankly stares at her. The Merlin is processing complex abstractions* Sheepy: Aru: I've been learning from him for a while now. Sheepy: Aru: You know him, don't you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I... No? Sheepy: Aru: He'd be disappointed to learn that. Sheepy: Aru: I'm surprised to learn that, too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: If you mean someone I'm supposed to know, I absolutely don't! What kinda name is "Primo" anyway?? Isn't that an Adventure Time character? Sheepy: Aru: I wouldn't know that, but it seems like something he'd like. Sheepy: Aru: Should I tell you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Obviously!!! Sheepy: Aru: Well, I'll give you some hints, then. As you learn more about me, you'll learn about him, too. That's both a promise and a threat. Sheepy: Aru: He's an old man with an awful sense of humor. He's taught famous people in the past. Now he's teaching my siblings and me. ...Kay not included, of course. Arsé-kun: Kay: Wait, am I the only one excluded here?! Why??? Sheepy: Aru: Do you want to be included? Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't like being EXcluded! Sheepy: Aru: Well, I can talk to him about it, but he may just say, "it's the fate of a Kay to always be left out!" Arsé-kun: Kay: What the absolute fuck does THAT mean?! Sheepy: Aru: Well, think of one Kay who gets to be included. Arsé-kun: *Kay just frowns* Sheepy: Aru: Sir Kay of the Round Table got ordered around by his little brother. Sheepy: Aru: And Cain smashed a rock into his brother's head. Sheepy: Aru: Both because they didn't get to be included in importance! Arsé-kun: *Kay proceeds to throw a cushion at Aru* Sheepy: Aru: Ouch! Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, so sorry! Cain instinct! Sheepy: Aru: You strive to be included by executing me...?! Arsé-kun: Kay: French revolution! Sheepy: Aru: But I'm not French! Arsé-kun: Kay: Neither was the queen, but here we are! Sheepy: Bedi: Cain instinct... Sheepy: Bedi: I can't really say I've ever had the urge to smash Lucan's head in with a rock. ...Does that make me Abel? How chilling... Arsé-kun: Kay: Sounds right to me. Lucan's an ass. Sheepy: Bedi: I won't disagree with you. Sheepy: Grif: Hah. If someone hit me with a rock I would simply crush it in my hand. Sheepy: Bedi: I don't think a blow to your head would cause any damage. Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't think there's anything to damage. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes... Sheepy: Grif: The head is usually the weak point on an enemy. Sheepy: Grif: I will not tell you my weak point. Sheepy: Grif: Achilles was foolish for letting everyone know his name. Of course his Achilles' heel would be his weak point. It's in the name. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah... There's so many things wrong in that one sentence.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: The. That didn't get the name until after Achilles died. Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Merlin: That tendon was named after him, not the other way around. Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: Humans evolved to have tendons thanks to Achilles, hm. Humans must've been weak before that. Arsé-kun: Merlin: NAMED after, not CREATED after! Sheepy: Grif:....... Sheepy: Grif:....Can I just call it Achilles' heel? Sheepy: Grif: That name... it's too long. By the time I finish saying it, Achilles will be dead. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It IS called Achilles' heel! And what is THAT supposed to mean?! Sheepy: Grif: You said it was named "after, not created after"... Sheepy: Grif: That's a mouthful. If I told Achilles that an arrow was going for that, he'd die before I could finish. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ....... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I quit. Sheepy: Grif: No. Never quit. Never give up. Not until you've achieved your goals. Arsé-kun: Merlin: The spot Achilles was shot was, after his death, renamed to be called "Achilles' Heel". It was not called that before his death. Thank you. Sheepy: Grif: .......... Sheepy: Grif; Then what was it called? Arsé-kun: *Merlin pauses to look this up* Arsé-kun: Merlin: The calcaneal tendon. Sheepy: Grif: Hm.....but it's what goes into your bones........ Sheepy: Grif: You drink milk for it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah. But whatever. I'm not a science major or anything! Sheepy: Grif: What is your major, then? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Art! ... Not artichokes! Sheepy: Grif: Really? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yep! Sheepy: Grif: My Painting skill is Lv. 1. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Do you need that for combat, though? Sheepy: Grif: No, but I'm not only about combat. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's fair. Painting is hard. Sheepy: Grif: You have hobbies too, don't you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, you got me. Sheepy: Grif: I have hobbies, too. Arsé-kun: Kay: Pretty sure we all do. Sheepy: Grif: You have hobbies other than drinking? Arsé-kun: Kay: Ha ha, very funny. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yes. Sheepy: Aru: People drink to survive, though. That's not really a hobby. Sheepy: Grif: I don't. Sheepy: Aru: Doesn't that kill you? Arsé-kun: Kay: It's Grif. He's special. Sheepy: Aru: Oh, maybe he gets his liquid from flowers instead. Sheepy: Grif: Tell me your other hobbies. Sheepy: Grif: Actually, I guess I will learn them as we bond. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, I learned something fascinating from knife guy. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah? Sheepy: Grif: It seems that the man we rescued today is named Weiss and he's a painter. It also seems he's in a bad enough state that he had to be brought to Lucan's dorm. Sheepy: Grif: The hospital. Arsé-kun: Kay: That makes sense... He looked horrible. Sheepy: Grif: So if I'd solo'd the mission, I probably would've knocked his HP to 0. Sheepy: Grif: I am bad at words, but I am good at defeating my enemies. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, good thing I helped you, huh?? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Good job. Sheepy: Grif: Next time, you should show up to get your own Fame points. Arsé-kun: Kay: ...? Did you not mention me helping you? Sheepy: Grif: I mentioned I did nothing. I got the response of, "don't be bashful". Arsé-kun: Kay: *he frowns* Sheepy: Grif: I am inherently bashful. I bash everything. Sheepy: Grif: I tried to explain this and that I had help. They were more focused on the target. Sheepy: Grif: This is the worst. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, I agree. Sheepy: Grif: If information on this rescue spreads, I may be believed to be capable of missions like this I am not. I cause damage. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll have to swing by and explain my half, then. I'm pretty sure I'd be allowed to do that much. Sheepy: Grif: Do it. Sheepy: Grif: When you want to. Sheepy: Aru: You saved someone? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah. Grif dragged me along. It sucked. Sheepy: Aru: I'm impressed! Arthur and Arturia might be, too. You could flex on them eventually. Arsé-kun: Kay: I really hope so! Sheepy: Aru: In the meantime, you can brag to me! Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm allowed to brag? Sheepy: Aru: Sometimes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Right now? Sheepy: Aru: Sure. Arsé-kun: Kay: I survived off the path! I only got hit once! I managed to talk the guy down and I only cried once! Arsé-kun: *Kay seems excited* Sheepy: Aru: !!! Amazing...! Arsé-kun: *Kay starts retelling what happened. He skips a bunch of dialogue bc it isn't important (aka grif being fucking stupid), focusing mostly on the part where he did something* Sheepy: Aru: Someone was alive there all that time...? Also, how do you eat your artichokes...? They shouldn't be prickly in your stomach! Sheepy: Grif: With my mouth. Arsé-kun: Kay: Raw and whole like a fuckin' imbecile. Sheepy: Aru: N-no!!! Arsé-kun: Kay: Right! I said I'd show you how to deal with that. Sheepy: Aru: Who does that?! Arsé-kun: Kay: Sir Moron. Sheepy: Grif: I'm a 'Sir' now... *he appears flustered.* Ah... I've always wanted to be a 'Sir'... Arsé-kun: Kay: One of these days you'll realize "moron" isn't a compliment. Sheepy: Grif: It is a compliment. Arsé-kun: Kay: A moron is an idiot. Sheepy: Grif: To think you gave me a nickname... Sheepy: Grif: It makes me very happy. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sir Moron, you're a dumbass. Sheepy: Grif: The biggest compliment is to be given a nickname. Sheepy: Grif: By the way, thanks to watching you, my Bartering level has increased to 1. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm gonna raise somethin' else, too. C'mon, I'm showin' you how to deal with an artichoke without being goddamn stupid. Arsé-kun: *stifled merlin laughter* Sheepy: Grif: Eh? Show me. Arsé-kun: *kay shows him. how? fuck if i know im not googling it* Sheepy: Grif: Amazing. So that's how you cook it. Sheepy: Grif: My cooking level has increased and I've learned a new recipe. Arsé-kun: Kay: So you better not eat it whole again, you fuckin' idiot. Sheepy: Grif: I see.. Sheepy: Grif: But what if I'm hungry? Sheepy: Grif: I can't cook sometimes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Eat something else?? Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: Like an avocado. Sheepy: Grif: That requires no preparation. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Sheepy: Grif: You just take a bite. Arsé-kun: Kay: I hate this. So much. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Arsé-kun: Kay: You don't do that either. Sheepy: Grif:...?! Sheepy: Grif: Could it be... I've been eating many foods wrong...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck, probably. Sheepy: Grif: For example... bananas. Sheepy: Grif: People say they're good, but I... Sheepy: Grif:....They're too rubbery. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't eat the peel you stupid bitch Sheepy: Grif:....Peel? Arsé-kun: Kay: Uuuggggghhhhh! You're an idiot! Didn't your parents teach you anything?! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Survival and combat. Sheepy: Grif: My Dad went to great lengths to teach me flight. Sheepy: Grif: I was never any good at it. Arsé-kun: Kay: About living like a normal person! Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: No. Arsé-kun: Kay: No shit. He should get on that. Sheepy: Grif: I am learning it from observation. Sheepy: Grif: I am mostly around you, so I am mostly learning about normal life from you. Arsé-kun: Kay: Unfortunate. Sheepy: Grif: I learned from Lucan that normal people generally use spoons for foods like soup. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm not asking what you did to learn that. Sheepy: Grif: I ate it without the spoon. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's still not as bad. Sheepy: Grif: I could construct a comfy cave. Sheepy: Grif: That's what Dad taught me Sheepy: Grif: That's how I made my room comfortable so quickly, too. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, and then stole all my cushions and called them soft rocks. Sheepy: Aru: Poor you... Arsé-kun: Kay: But whatever. Lesson over. Fuck off so I can clean the dishes. Sheepy: Grif: I will do so. Sheepy: *Grif exits* Arsé-kun: Kay: Aru, the drying towel's on a fridge magnet. Come make yourself useful for once. Sheepy: Aru: I'm useful usually...! *she grabs the towel and goes over to help* Arsé-kun: *hoooorrray, teamwork* Sheepy: *yes!* Arsé-kun: *we proceed to skip to the next day* Sheepy: *There's bickering in the kitchen...* Arsé-kun: *Kay just sighs. He already misses his quiet mornings* Sheepy: *What will you do, Kay?* Arsé-kun: *check it out, obviously.* Arsé-kun: Yog: --It is a required questline. You do require the given debuff resistance for the future seasons. That is to say, you're going to get sick if you don't! Sheepy: Grif: Hah! Sickness can't stop me! Sheepy: Grif: Abandon quest! Abandon quest! Arsé-kun: Yog: I cannot. This quest is required. Sheepy: Grif: No...! Sheepy: Grif: If I just focus on side quests, the main quest line can never stop me!! Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, just get it over with. It ain't shit. *he yawns* Morning, Aru, welcome to hell. Sheepy: Aru: Do you really need a talking microwave...? *she's tired and hungry. let her eat in peace, grif* Sheepy: Grif: No!! Sheepy: Grif: I refuse! Arsé-kun: Kay: That's his dad calling. He can't be assed to use a phone. You get used to it. Sheepy: Aru: I see... Teacher could do this, too. Arsé-kun: *Fou is investigating the microwave* Sheepy: Grif: Doctors are evil. All of them. Sheepy: Grif: They stick me with pointy objects and hit me with things, all while babbling about things. They poke at me and shine lights into me. Sheepy: Grif: And then... they expect you to pay them....! Sheepy: Grif: I'm already doing that by not biting their hand!! Arsé-kun: Kay: *he sighs* Do you want to watch me get mine done? It literally takes a minute. Sheepy: Grif: No...! That's how they get you! Sheepy: Grif: And then they run all sorts of tests on you to make sure you're "healthy"...! Arsé-kun: Kay: That's their job. That is literally in the job description. Sheepy: Grif: I do not like people touching me and getting in my space...! Arsé-kun: Kay: That's rough, buddy. *he just pats Grif's shoulder and passes him to obtain food* Sheepy: Grif: I'll bite any doctor who gets near me! Sheepy: Aru: Grif, would you bite Kay? Sheepy: Grif: ...? No, I like Kay. Sheepy: Aru: Then you wouldn't you cause problems for Kay? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Aru: Okay, if you went with Kay and bit someone, you'd be causing him problems. Sheepy: Grif:....! Arsé-kun: Kay: She's goddamn right. That'd be a massive pain in my ass. Arsé-kun: Kay: And that isn't literal! Sheepy: Grif: I see... Sheepy: Grif: So don't go with you. Sheepy: Grif: But if you go, they might attack you with that hammer thing, so I have to be there to protect you from such a thing. Arsé-kun: Kay: It doesn't even hurt, you idiot. Sheepy: Grif: And yet...! They poke you and prod you. Clearly, they're plotting something! Arsé-kun: Kay: So are animal doctors plotting, too? The people who take care of pets when they're sick? They must be evil too by that logic. Sheepy: Grif: No, those are fine. They take care of animals. Arsé-kun: Kay: Human doctors are vets for people. Sheepy: Grif: ............ Sheepy: Grif: Name one time a doctor has helped you when you were sick. Arsé-kun: Kay: I got sick and they sent me home with a medicine prescription and a lollipop. I got to stay home that week. Arsé-kun: Kay: Also the time I NEARLY LOST MY EYE YOU MORON Arsé-kun: Kay: Who do you think dealt with the aftermath of that? Satan?? A dentist??? Cthulhu???? Sheepy: Grif: ? Sheepy: Grif: Merlin, of course. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck no. Sheepy: Grif: What? Sheepy: Grif: He helped me. Arsé-kun: Kay: He couldn't stop blowing himself up until he was like twelve. Fuckin' moron. Sheepy: Grif: Oh, well that's not too bad. Arsé-kun: Kay: Point is, no! No he did not! Sheepy: Grif: Well, that's too bad for you. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, good luck on your flu shot. Arsé-kun: Kay: What the fuck do you mean "Good luck"?! That's needlessly ominous! Sheepy: Grif: Just as I said. Good luck. Arsé-kun: Yog: By skipping this event, you may be unable to use a required facility in the future. Are you sure about this? Sheepy: Grif: Required facility? Arsé-kun: Kay: Oop, looks like you gotta come! Too bad! Sheepy: Grif: N-no...!! Arsé-kun: *muffled minecraft music from the microwave* Arsé-kun: Kay: You just gotta watch me get it done. I didn't say get it done yourself. Arsé-kun: Kay: Anyway? I got hurt on your mission. Karma's a bitch, pussy boy. Sheepy: Grif:...Fine. When? Arsé-kun: Merlin: How about right now? Sheepy: Grif:...Fine! Sheepy: Bedi: Don't worry. We'll be there to support you. Arsé-kun: *later!* Sheepy: *Grif is shaking all over* Arsé-kun: *Merlin offers him a flower* Sheepy: Grif: What? What is this for...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I dunno. I kinda expected you to just take it and eat it. I didn't think we'd get here. Sheepy: Grif: ...?! Sheepy: Grif: Uh... I'm not hungry. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Then hold onto it for later. Sheepy: Grif:...Thanks. Arsé-kun: *1x flower obtained* Sheepy: Bedi: I feel bad for the people who work here. They need more staff. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, same. They're doing their best but there's an underlayer of misery. Sheepy: Grif: I have to work harder to make everyone's lives easier... Arsé-kun: Kay: Stupid. You can't do everything. Sheepy: Grif: No. Not yet. Arsé-kun: Kay: You can't hire people to work. Sheepy: Grif: My bartering skill isn't high enough yet, yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're not the boss of the school. Sheepy: Grif: Why would I need to be a boss? Sheepy: Grif: Isn't it my job to fight bosses? Sheepy: Grif:...Do I die a hero or live to become what I detest the most...? Sheepy: Bedi: What... what do you detest the most? Sheepy: Grif: Doctors. Arsé-kun: Dr. Raphael: Now, now, that's just a bit cruel, isn't it? *here he comes. the bundle of sunshine himself. the man the myth the leg, it ends* Are we all a group, or separate? Sheepy: Grif: No. It's not cruel if it's true. Doctors run tests and ask you all sorts of confusing questions... Sheepy: Bedi: We're a group. Sheepy: Bedi: Partially because, ah... If you haven't met him before, it's important you get prewarning: he may try to bite you. Arsé-kun: Raph: That warning is greatly appreciated! Which of you would like to go first... *and then he spots Kay* Arsé-kun: Raph: ... Oh. Hello, Kay. I've been waiting for you! You have more than the shot to do today!~ Arsé-kun: *Now KAY is the one shaking* Arsé-kun: Raph: I'll spare you for now! You may go last this time, but if you run, you'll most certainly be caught! :D *this said without any trace of irony. cheerful with an undertone* Arsé-kun: Raph: Lets go in alphabetical order! Bedivere, would you like to go first? Sheepy: Bedi: I don't mind. Sheepy: Grif: Worry not, Kay. It's not about running faster than the bear. It's about running faster than your friend. Sheepy: Grif: If you use Bedi as bait, you can certainly flee. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah, I'm not running... Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, go, uh, go watch Bedi get it done. Sheepy: Grif: You're... You're sacrificing me to save yourself. Sheepy: Grif: I see... This is truly what it means to be a hero. Arsé-kun: Kay: N-no! I'm just not gonna be a good example..!! Sheepy: Grif: Fine! I'll let you take me away! You better put up a fight if you want to survive! Arsé-kun: Raph: I was going to leave you alone, but if you really insist, we can take that outside afterwards. Sheepy: Grif: Hah? You aren't going to shoot me, then? Arsé-kun: Raph: I feel like you have a serious misunderstanding of what "a shot" means in this case. But okay! Come along, both of you! Sheepy: *Bedi follows, relaxed. Grif is, for once, a bundle of anxiety.* Sheepy: Grif: Sometimes, people like you put me back in a chair and open my mouth for an hour. Arsé-kun: Raph: That's a dentist. Sheepy: Grif: If you put your hand in, I will bite it. Sheepy: Grif: What's a dentist? Arsé-kun: Raph: A doctor for your teeth. Sheepy: Grif: I don't need that. Sheepy: Grif: If I damage a tooth, I grow in a new one. Arsé-kun: Raph: Do you want them to get infected and rot in your mouth? Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: Infected? Arsé-kun: Raph: Just continue as you already are. It isn't like you need to go constantly. Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif:....Dad told me a ritual to prevent dentists from appearing... Sheepy: Grif: ...Perhaps this ritual prevents infection, too. Arsé-kun: Raph: Taking a wild guess? I'm gonna say yes. Sheepy: Grif: Then what is the doctor who snips-snips? Arsé-kun: Raph: .... The hairdressers? Sheepy: Grif: I see... Sheepy: Grif: Perhaps... my vendetta isn't just with doctors. Arsé-kun: Raph: Maybe it's with bad professionals! Anyway, Bedi, take a seat n' roll up your sleeve. You know the drill. Sheepy: *Bedi sits down and rolls up his left sleeve* Sheepy: Grif: Bad professionals are called villains. Arsé-kun: *Raph cleans off a spot with an alcohol wipe and then picks up the lil flu syringe. Idk why it is being described as "little", but it isn't HUGE either, so like, shut* Sheepy: Grif: Why did Kay seem afraid of you? He told me he didn't fear being shot. Arsé-kun: Raph: Am I legally allowed to answer that...? Sheepy: Grif: Law means nothing to doctors. Sheepy: Grif: They are chaotic, lawless beings. Arsé-kun: Raph: It means an extremely lot. We can lose our medical license if we're bad! Sheepy: Grif: So you don't have a medical license... Arsé-kun: Raph: If I didn't have one, I wouldn't be here NOW! Anyway, Bedi, good job and you're done. *he puts the bandaid on Bedi's arm. yaaay* Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you. I'll rejoin the others. *he leaves before Grif can register he's been ditched* Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: Well, I don't have a medical license, so I suppose I should not be here... Arsé-kun: Raph: No, you just can't work here. It isn't the same. Sheepy: Grif:......So a medical license is a bribe... Sheepy: Grif: I thought it was a scented thing you lit for medical purposes... Arsé-kun: Raph: ... Look, I'm going to be honest with you. I had four hours of sleep and most of what you're saying is not being processed. Sheepy: Grif: You speak of things I know not about. Sheepy: Grif: For example: "Medical license". Arsé-kun: Raph: Have someone else explain. I need to finish up flu shots and then Kay's bloodwork for the first time ever because he keeps avoiding it. Arsé-kun: Raph: *pause* Arsé-kun: Raph: shit wait Sheepy: Grif:...?! Arsé-kun: Raph: And no, it does not require grievous injury. Sheepy: Grif: Kay... works to receive blood? Sheepy: Grif: Amazing, I didn't think Kay worked at all! Arsé-kun: Raph: Bloodwork is testing the blood to make sure there's nothing wrong. Sheepy: Grif: I see. I haven't done this. Arsé-kun: Raph: I recommend it, but not now. Not today. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm an impatient patient~~~ *and he just comes in. rude. at least he pre-rolled his sleeve* Oh, Grif's still here? Sheepy: Grif: Your sleeve is high. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sure is! Sheepy: Grif: Why? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Did you not watch Bedi at all? Sheepy: Grif: Of course not. That would be rude. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Permission granted to watch! Sheepy: Grif: I didn't ask. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'll buy you an apple pie if you do~ Sheepy: Grif:....Fine! Arsé-kun: *Raph just repeats the process with new supplies. Flu shot! It takes about 15 seconds and then it's over! Yay! Merlin looks bored.* Sheepy: Grif: You poked him with the stick... Arsé-kun: Raph: That's the entire process. The worst it does is make your arm slightly sore for a day or so. Arsé-kun: Raph: I said slightly, not unusable. Sheepy: Grif: Let's say I don't like the feeling. How long does it take for the antivirus to go to the rest of my body? Arsé-kun: Raph: It'll spread in an hour, but takes up to 2 weeks to develop the anti.. Did you call it antivirus? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. That's what it is, isn't it? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Why would I call it the wrong name? Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, fine! I'll accept it. Arsé-kun: Raph: I'm glad you understand. This'll only take a minute. Arsé-kun: *It really does only take a minute. Grif takes 1 hp of damage. Griflet is given a lollipop* Sheepy: Grif:....? Sheepy: Grif: Weapon obtained: Mini Mace. Arsé-kun: *Raph can't be bothered to correct this. He's got one more flu shot to deliver and then his shift is over* Sheepy: Il: Blood is actually a common feature in otome games. There's a lot of games where vampires and werewolves drink the heroine's blood, and others where the heroine treats one of the ikemen's wounds... But seeing this doesn't really inspire feelings of love... This implies that it's not about the blood, but rather about the act of the protagonist helping the ikemen out in whatever ways she can... Arsé-kun: Kay: But... Grooooss..! Sheepy: Il: And yet, the romantic CGs get my heart racing...! Arsé-kun: *Kay is Very Clearly looking Il straight in the face, and away from the nurse practitioner doing bloodwork. He is not happy about any of this* Sheepy: *Il is enjoying himself!* Arsé-kun: Kay: *he sighs* Look, am I allowed to look back yet or is it still going? Sheepy: Fran: You can look back now. I just finished. Let me just bandage the area. Sheepy: Il: Oh, bandages... Arsé-kun: Kay: dont Arsé-kun: *But Kay does sigh again, this time with relief* Sheepy: Il: They're popular, too. It's the brief appearance of skin, combined with the usually strong ikemen dropping their strong persona and embracing their gentler side... Sheepy: Fran: There, I've finished. Arsé-kun: Kay: Thank G- Arsé-kun: Raph: But you're not done yet. One more minute. Arsé-kun: Kay: D: Sheepy: Il: Ah, it's you. Arsé-kun: Raph: I was wondering where you were, Il-ness. *he thinks he's funny* Hate to stab you again, but give me your other arm. Sheepy: Il: I'm here with a new friend. Arsé-kun: *Kay hesitantly rolls up his other sleeve before seeing that it's the flu shot. This he can tolerate. Maybe* Sheepy: Il: He's Cai. Arsé-kun: Kay: Close enough. Sheepy: Il: He's like the man in the game Ignis was playing... Sheepy: Il: You were doing flu shots, weren't you? Sheepy: Il: Why do you not stop it before it has flown? It would make your life easier. Arsé-kun: Raph: .... *he just gives Il this flat look before giving Kay his flu shot.* Sheepy: Il: You can stop the flu by not letting it fly. Sheepy: Il: Wear a mask. Wash your hands. Get a flu shot. Sheepy: Il: Cover your face when you cough or sneeze. So on. Arsé-kun: Raph: What he said. Do you kids need anything else, or was that it? Sheepy: Grif: Do I need something... Sheepy: Grif: Are you a vet? Arsé-kun: Raph: ... I mean, that's not far off. A vet but for people. Sheepy: Grif: I'll ask my brother how people he is next time. Arsé-kun: *Raph wisely decides not to ask* Sheepy: Grif: Kay? Do you have anything? Arsé-kun: Kay: Kay wants to go home. Sheepy: Il: Homesickness... When the heroine feels homesick, the ikemen embraces her and says that he will be her home until she can finally return Arsé-kun: Merlin: We're done. That was all we needed! Sheepy: Grif: Let's go, then. Sheepy: Il: Have a safe walk home. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You stay safe too. Sheepy: Il: I am safe always. Arsé-kun: *They leave, I guess. Raph puts his stuff away, locks the necessary cabinets, pulls out a pillow from under his desk and takes a nap right there in his office. help this man* Sheepy: *Il prays for good dreams for him by humming a lullaby. Hopefully, this doesn't give everyone else good dreams right on the spot.* Sheepy: Grif: --Do doctors usually steal your blood? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, that's normal. But why would you mention it??? Sheepy: Grif: Why do they want it? Sheepy: Grif: They've taken mine before. I didn't let them get away with it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Are you sure you're not the menace to doctors everywhere? Sheepy: Grif: They deserve it. Arsé-kun: Kay: No, not really. Sheepy: Grif: I don't like being poked and prodded at. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, that sucks. Sheepy: Grif: Like vampires? Arsé-kun: Kay: No, Grif. Sheepy: Grif: Do you do this every year? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yes, Grif. Sheepy: Grif: To truly mesh within human society, I have to do this every year... Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif: Perhaps... Humans aren't so great. Sheepy: Grif: No, even if I wanted to leave them, I couldn't. However, this... Hm. Arsé-kun: Kay: You fight horrible things and let them beat you up but that's the problem? Sheepy: Grif: Humans are fragile. Sheepy: Grif: I can't dismember the doctor. Sheepy: Grif: And anyway, doctors never know anything. Arsé-kun: Kay: But the anatomy professor is a "Dr." too, wasn't he? Sheepy: Grif: Yes, but I like him because Dad likes him. Arsé-kun: Yog: I have a great deal of respect for the humans that use their own time to help and heal others, thank you very much. Sheepy: Grif: I like Merlin, too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But would you hate me if I ended up a doctor too? These are the real questions! Sheepy: Grif: No. I trust you. You helped me when I was hurt. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, I get it. You need to be shown that they're honest and do good work. Sheepy: Grif: Doctors throw around diagnoses without knowing enough details. For example, they say there's something wrong with me for eating rocks but don't bother asking Dad why I'd do such a thing... Sheepy: Grif: I don't trust them. Sheepy: Bedi: No, I don't think details would change the fact you shouldn't eat rocks. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But dragons eat rocks, yeah? So it'd be normal maybe? Sheepy: Bedi: True... Sheepy: Grif: I won't trust doctors until they're trustworthy. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Fair enough! Sheepy: Grif: But if you become a doctor, I'll trust you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I've considered it! Too much work. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Your major is disappointment. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's actually art, but that's good too! Sheepy: Grif: Can I try it? Sheepy: Bedi: Art isn't a food. Sheepy: Grif: I want to try it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Uh, sure, maybe later. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. We'll bond. Sheepy: Grif: I haven't figured out how to properly choose my dialogue during bonding experiences. I am still working at this. My Charisma is low, but maybe if I interact with you more, yours will rub onto me. Sheepy: Bedi: Make sure to continue working your arm so it doesn't get very sore. Sheepy: Grif: ........ Paimon, define working. Arsé-kun: Yog: noun. the action of doing work. Arsé-kun: Yog: He is suggesting you keep active as always as to prevent the shot from making your arm sore. This is a temporary debuff, but will reward you with an increased flu resistance. Sheepy: Grif: Why can’t I just drink something? Or equip something? Sheepy: Bedi: You can equip a mask to help prevent the spread. Sheepy: Bedi: Vitamin D can also help. Sheepy: Grif: Vitamin D... Sheepy: Grif: I don't know what that is. Arsé-kun: Merlin: vitamin d-eez nuts. *he's not even impressed with his own joke* Sheepy: Grif: So that's what it stands for. Sheepy: Grif: Why do they shorten it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It doesn't. I just like saying it. Sheepy: Grif: Ah... I've heard of this before. Sheepy: Grif: It's a trick. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's like updog. Sheepy: Grif: Updog? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Updog. Sheepy: Grif: Paimon, define updog. Arsé-kun: Yog: .... ...... It's updog. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Arsé-kun: Yog: It is a bit of wordplay based on "What's up, dog" in which another person is being referred to as "dog". The reply is usually "Not much, dog, what's up with you?". Arsé-kun: Yog: "Dog" is not literal. Sheepy: Grif: I am no dog. Arsé-kun: Yog: I repeat my previous statement. Sheepy: Grif: Why would he call me one? Arsé-kun: Yog: It is not an insult here. It is along the lines of "dude" in this case. Sheepy: Grif: Dude... Sheepy: Grif: I'm dude... Sheepy: Grif: That's really an awful nickname, isn't it. Arsé-kun: Kay: But you're okay with "moron"? Sheepy: Grif: Of course. You gave me this nickname. Sheepy: Grif: You wouldn't give me an ill fitting nickname. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah I would. Haven't you heard half the shit I call Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: he used my name for once. a momentous day in history. *he's being sarcastic* Arsé-kun: Kay: bitch Sheepy: Grif: It's accurate, isn't it? Arsé-kun: Kay: I mean, yeah, you are a moron. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Bedi: Out of curiosity, Grif... do you know what a moron is? Sheepy: Grif: Me. Arsé-kun: Yog: *helpfully* Informal noun: A stupid person. Similar words include fool, oaf, idiot, dumbass, clown, dunce, and dullard. Sheepy: Grif:...?! Arsé-kun: Kay: I was very clear in calling you an idiot on the first day. Sheepy: Grif: Kay... thinks I'm a clown? Arsé-kun: Kay: No, fuck clowns. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Then you don't think I'm a moron either. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sometimes you are. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sometimes you are. Sheepy: Grif: Are you? Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck, probably. Sheepy: Grif: Then we can be morons together. Sheepy: Bedi: Is that really something to be pleased by...? Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Sheepy: Bedi: Brute force only gets you so far. After a while, you'll need to use your head. Sheepy: Bedi: Otherwise, you'll hit a brick wall. Sheepy: Grif: And I'll smash it. Arsé-kun: Kay: With his head, probably. Sheepy: Grif: Use my head... to break the wall. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm.... Sheepy: Grif: Wouldn't that hurt? Arsé-kun: Yog: I do not recommend using your head to break a wall. Sheepy: Grif: Dad could use his head to break a wall. Sheepy: Grif: Ah, Kay could do it though. Arsé-kun: Kay: I would really prefer not to! Sheepy: Grif: Why? I was told you're hard headed. Arsé-kun: Kay: That means stubborn! Sheepy: Grif: Stubborn... Sheepy: Grif: I'm hard headed, too. Arsé-kun: Kay: yeah you are. Sheepy: Grif: Amazing. We're actually very similar. Sheepy: Grif: The main difference is that you're better integrated into society. I'll learn how to do this too from observing you, along with Bedi and Merlin. Arsé-kun: Kay: Good fuckin' luck. I'm still an asshole. Sheepy: Grif: But I like you. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, uh, ok. Arsé-kun: *Great reply!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm back! And I promised, Griflet! *he hands griflet a box. it's warm. it smells like apple* Sheepy: Grif:.....It's warm. It smells nice. Sheepy: Grif:... *he slowly starts moving the box towards his mouth* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I bought you that pie like I said I would. Please do not eat the box. Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Merlin: The box isn't the edible part. Sheepy: Grif: Where is the edible part? Sheepy: Grif: Inside the box? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: It's in a box for safety. What a great idea. But it isn't safe from me. Sheepy: Grif: By the way, Kay. I found this gift and thought of you. Are you ready to see it? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Uh? I guess? *he is worried considering Grif's... everything* Sheepy: Grif: Hold out your hands, then. Arsé-kun: *Kay puts a hand out* Sheepy: *Grif takes something out of his pocket and drops it into Kay's hands. It's a shiny pebble.* Sheepy: Grif: I found this. Arsé-kun: Kay: Um. Thanks. Sheepy: Grif: Do you like it? Arsé-kun: *Kay blankly looks at him for a moment. The gesture is appreciated, but...* Arsé-kun: Kay: I guess it's nice. Sheepy: Grif: Good. I found it when I was bringing that man to the hospital. Arsé-kun: Kay: You stopped bringing a man to the hospital for a rock? Sheepy: Grif: He was in the museum all that time so he could wait. Arsé-kun: *Kay just sighs* Sheepy: *They finally return to the dorm.* Arsé-kun: *Garry has set himself up in the hallway for a long bout of Waiting. He's got a little orange wagon and several neatly stacked costume bags with him...* Sheepy: Grif: Hello. Are you moving in? Arsé-kun: Garry: No. I'm starting deliveries, you see, and I figured I'd start with your dorm as thanks! Sheepy: Grif: Do you need help? Arsé-kun: Garry: While that would be nice, I think it's better if I keep at it. Thank you anyway! Arsé-kun: *Garry pulls a bag out of the stack and hands it to Grif. x1 Jabberwocky Costume Obtained.* Sheepy: Grif: Costume unlocked. Arsé-kun: *Garry gives out the other costumes as well. Something pink to Merlin, something white to Bedi, and something blue to Kay. Hooray.* Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you! Sheepy: Bedi: Grif, make sure to thank him as well. Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Thanks. Arsé-kun: Garry: You're welcome. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Of course. This is my home. Sheepy: Grif: And you're sure you don't need help? Sheepy: Grif: If not, good luck. Arsé-kun: Garry: I'm fairly certain. I've done this the last two times, but again, thanks anyway! Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: Have fun. Sheepy: Grif: By the way, Merlin. Sheepy: Grif: That pink is, eh... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hm? Sheepy: Grif: You. Sheepy: Grif: Very you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm glad you understand so well! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Bedi: The character fits as well, I think. Sheepy: Grif: Character? Sheepy: Bedi: The Cheshire Cat. Sheepy: Grif: I've never heard of him. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Y'know, like... *he puts the pink cat ears on his head* Nyaa~! Sheepy: Grif:....? Sheepy: Grif:...Nyaa. Arsé-kun: Kay: stop Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't do that. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Arsé-kun: Kay: It sounded wrong. Sheepy: Grif: I said it wrong? Arsé-kun: Merlin: The only way to say it wrong is to not make a cat noise! Myah! Mrrrrow! Cat! Sheepy: Grif: Cats say... "cat"? Arsé-kun: Fou: Mrrraow! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, no, they usually don't, but I thought you'd get the idea! Sheepy: *An unfamiliar cat joins Fou. Something feels very off about it, like it's something imitating a cat without knowing what cat is, but being close enough that at first glance it looks like a normal cat* Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Sheepy: Cat: Cat! Cat! Arsé-kun: *Fou smacks the other cat* Sheepy: Cat: ......... Arsé-kun: Fou: Mrrrrrw! Sheepy: Bedi: Where did this cat come from...? Sheepy: Cat:..... Sheepy: Cat: *honk* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Y'know, I think this is a bird. Sheepy: Cat:?! Sheepy: Grif: He's not a bird. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Griflet? I thought your pet was a bird. Sheepy: Grif: I have no pet. Sheepy: Grif: Elyan is my friend. Sheepy: Grif: He's a water. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Rrrrright. Sheepy: Grif: What? Try pouring water on him. Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't feel like cleaning right now. *he decides he's had enough of this situation and retreats to his room* Sheepy: Grif:....? Sheepy: Grif: I see. He must be tired from today. Sheepy: Grif: I'm not. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Good for you! Sheepy: Grif: Are you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nope. We have so much more time before the sun goes down, and that's not even a limiter! So what are we doing?? Sheepy: Bedi: Personally, I'm doing homework. Do you have anything due, Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, but I'll do it later. Sheepy: Bedi: By doing your homework when you get it, you can spend more time having fun without worry. Arsé-kun: Merlin: By doing it later, you get to have more fun NOW! Sheepy: Bedi: But I'd spend less time worrying about your deadlines before asking you out if I knew you had finished your homework. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Ugghhh! Sheepy: Bedi: Aren't dates more fun when neither of us are worried? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, you have a point... But there's so much! Sheepy: Bedi: On what topics? If you're having trouble understanding the concepts, depending on the topic, perhaps I could help. Or... well, he may be busy. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I have over fifty questions due. Tomorrow. It was assigned yesterday. They all have multi-parts. My professor is satan incarnate. Arsé-kun: Merlin: There needs to be homework quality control! Sheepy: Bedi: Um... Which professor? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Kashihara! It's always him! Sheepy: Bedi: I see... Sheepy: Bedi: And it's too late to drop, isn't it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I need this class. I literally can't. Sheepy: Grif:........Satan incarnate... Sheepy: Grif: I see. So as my duty, I must... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Don't hurt the guy unless he's actually a bad guy! Sheepy: Grif: Hm? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Y-you don't wanna hurt a normal human if he is, right? Sheepy: Grif: Normal human? Sheepy: Grif:......... Sheepy: Grif: You... Your insight is so low. Arsé-kun: Kay: *from his room, which notably has the door open* Kick his ass! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I said "if", not "he IS"! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I will. Sheepy: Grif: And you know who he is, don't you? Sheepy: Grif: Unless... you really don't...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: If he's bad, can I not do the homework? Sheepy: Grif: He's worse than bad. He's my uncle. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, jeez, seriously?! Sheepy: Grif: Of course. Sheepy: Grif: He probably doesn't read your assignments. No time. He has three jobs and he needs to also toy with people. Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. I will get revenge for you.

#c.au #2

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #107

“i love everything you do, when you call me fuckin’ dumb for the stupid shit i do.”

The beach or the pool?  The pool.  Cleaner, less risk, no sand. Do you have many internet friends?  Most of my friends are online. Do you think those friendships are on level with your real life ones?  Shit, I'm closer to some online friends more than I am "real" ones. Did you name all of your dolls and stuffed animals?  I think I might've...  I know I named the ones I really loved. Is your middle name plain?  Pretty sure it's one of the most common middle names. Do you like Resident Evil games?  RE4 is in my top 10 fave games.  I've played some of the original RE, but I didn't like it.  Controls were awful and I didn't find the story all that interesting.  I played like the first 30 minutes of RE6 with Jason, but for some reason we never finished it?  I'd love to play more, even though I've heard it was terrible.  Def wanna play the 7th too bc Leon is love.  Eeeeven though I heard that one was awful, too. What would you say is your WORST phobia?  I actually recently found out what pisanthrophobia (fear of trusting people due to negative, past relationships) is, and it is 100% that. Do you wish your last name was more interesting? Sure, I don't like my last name. If you wrote a novel, would you give the characters ordinary names?  Some would be, some wouldn't be. What’s your favorite leaf color?  Orange. Have you ever had a close friend get knocked up early?  I don't know why the term "knocked up" is annoying to me, but whatever.  Anyway, no. Have you yourself ever gotten close to getting pregnant? No. If you were to get pregnant as a teen, what would happen? Have the baby and give it up for adoption. Do you have any pictures of you kissing someone? A few exist, but I no longer have any. Are you afraid of needles?  No.  I mean the idea of getting a deep shot is unpleasant, but I'm not afraid of them. Do you find piercing attractive or unattractive? It really depends on the piercing and the person, but usually attractive. What's your most popular post? I actually made a gif of Chica and Mark almost two months ago (this isn't my main blog obvs.) that took way too long and Mark actually reblogged it (he controls his own social media) and????  A whale-like sob escaped from the very core of my soul?????  And I couldn't sleep for two days?????? Manga or anime?  Anime, I don't read.  I've never read manga, actually. A card game that you're good at? None. Favorite flavors of ice cream?  My favorite is vanilla with chocolate syrup, but I also like plain chocolate or moose tracks. Have you ever overcome a disease that was life-threatening and, if so, which one?  No. Have you ever sent a text to the wrong person? Yes, but thankfully nothing embarrassing.  I've come close, though. Do you like Subway?  Yes, but I always get the same thing there. Would you rather lose your best friend or your boyfriend? *girlfriend, but I'd rather lose my other best friend. Have you ever dated someone in secret?  My relationship now is secret to most people in my face-to-face life.  I mean I wouldn't lie if I was asked, but I'm not going to tell most people otherwise for a few reasons. Do you ever send people good morning texts?  Sara, sometimes. Do you kiss your pets? I kiss Teddy.  I would happily kiss Venus is it wasn't for salmonella. Would your parents approve of you dating someone of a different race? Yes. How old is the oldest person you know? Hm... I'm not sure.  Maybe this woman my mom used to watch; I met her once, and she was such a sweetie.  I think she was almost 90. Have you ever had to put your hand over someone’s mouth to keep them quiet?  Yes. Do you have an accent?  People tell me I don't really have one, even people from outside the state, but with some words, people can tell I'm from the south. Do you own any figurines? Of what? I have one of a small dragon. How long does it usually take you to get to sleep?  Now that I take Melatonin, like, 15-20 minutes I'd guess. What was the last picture you took with your phone?  My dog because he was being precious. Do you have trouble waking up in the morning? What gets you up and awake? I tend to lie there for a while, so kinda?  And I just get up once I'm not incredibly drowsy. What is one thing you and your best friend have in common physically? With Colleen, we both have blue eyes, with Sara, we both have brown hair. Now based on your interests, what is one thing you both have in common?  Sara, we both love reptiles, with Colleen... Jesus, like nothing. Where do your grandparents live? Florida (but she stays in New York a lot) and Michigan. When is the last time you went out to dinner with a friend? Where did you go? Who paid?  Earlier this month with Dad.  We went to a Mexican restaurant whose name I can't remember.  Aaaand I hate Mexican food. Do you get excited when you learn you have to dress up?  Not really.  Too much work. What’s your ideal first date?  Don't have one.  Plenty of things can be fun with different people with different interests. If you type for awhile, do your fingers start to hurt?  Boi step yo game up that's some amateur shit *doesn't mention how I have carpal tunnel so my wrist disagrees* Chinese or Mexican food?  Hate Mexican food and don't like much Chinese, but Chinese. Are you the type of person who would study for a test for hours?  No.  I'm not willing to invest THAT much time into studying. Do you hate when you’re in a good mood and one person ruins your mood?  Ha, yeah.  People can do that easily for me. What’s worse: Rude people, two faced people or fake people?  Rude or two-faced. Does your house have a doorbell?  Shit, does it? o_o  I don't think so... Do you know someone who has dropped out of high school?  A few. Has your Facebook ever been hacked?  I don't think so. Twitter, Tumblr or Facebook?  I love Tumblr so much help I didn't want this. Do you have any quotes on your bedroom walls?  The serenity prayer, yes. Do you wear earrings?  Ugh no because all of mine are silver, which I'm allergic to.  I want to get gold or surgical steel ones so I can actually wear them, I like earrings. Is your WiFi protected?  Yes. Does your phone have a cover on it?  No, but I'd like one. Would you ever lie about your past?  Already am about some things to people in my "real" life. Some say that high school is the best time of your life. Was that true for you? It was in some ways, others not. Is it good to have pride in your own race or does that separate people from each other because it makes them think of everyone else as ‘outsiders’?  It's perfectly fine to feel proud of your race as long as you don't look down on others. What’s the bravest or most daring thing you have ever done? Shit, probably speak my mind to my mom since she's scary as fuck when I disagree with her. Who owes you an apology? A number of people. Who deserves an apology from you? My dad deserves another, for one. Is a prenuptial agreement necessary or does it take the romance and trust out of marriage? Fucking destroys trust, imo. Know of any conspiracy theories you think might be credible?  Not off the top of my head.  I do find the theory of the moon landing being fake very interesting and there is some compelling evidence, but I still believe it was real.  It's my fave theory, though. How do you go about losing weight?  I don't eat nearly enough most days. What is the worst mistake you’ve ever made? Overdosing.  I mean it led to my recovery, but I could've achieved that in a different way. Are you patriotic?  Not especially, but I don't hate America either. When you ask people how they are doing you actually care about their answer or is it just polite?  Yes, I care. Would you consider yourself to be very polite?  In most ways, yes. Which group generally annoys you more, people older than you, or people younger than you?  Younger. What do you think of crop circles?  They're interesting, but I don't blame them on aliens. Have you ever written graffiti on anything?  Nope. Should birth control be taught in high school? How about in jr. high or elementary school?  Around 4th/5th grade. Some kids start having sex early, and it's about this time where a girl can get pregnant. Do you use bad grammar or hate bad grammar?  I only ever use it sarcastically or comedically. Last time you fed your pets? My mom always feeds all the dogs simultaneously, and Venus hasn't wanted to eat since I got her.  If she doesn't eat by mid-November, then I'll be concerned (already kinda am). Do you know/ have you met your significant other’s ex?  I know Sara's online but obviously never "met" him. What do you think about censorship in music?  I honestly think both versions should exist.  Some people don't like profanity and I don't believe children should hear it. Do you have any of your teachers on MySpace/Facebook?  I have a few. Have you seen your family tree? Someone made one, but I've never seen it. What are you most likely to do first in the morning; grab a cup of coffee, have a cigarette, or use the bathroom?  Use the bathroom.  I don't smoke and I hate coffee. What are you most likely to do when you are upset; talk to somebody you’re close to, cry yourself to sleep, or bottle it up inside?  I've finally learned how to talk to someone. What are you most likely to do if you get drunk; pick fights, hook up with people, or socialize with anybody & everybody? Never been drunk, but apparently I'm seriously giggly and social when I'm tipsy. What are you most likely to pick if you got to choose your topic on a research paper; drug abuse, mental illness, or the death penalty? Oh, I can write a damn novel on mental illness. What are you most likely to do if there are no good surveys floating around at the time; make some new surveys for yourself & everyone else to take, bitch & complain about how there are no good surveys then take a survey you don’t even feel like taking, or go find something else to do besides taking surveys?  Oh hun.  I get surveys from about a billion sources so I will never run out. *cackles* Do you hold grudges or forgive easily? If someone is truly sorry, I forgive easily. In a relationship, how important are looks? I don't care.  I care about your personality.  Sure, it's nice to be attracted physically to your s/o, but it's not a determining factor on whether I date you or not. Do you have to know someone for a while before you will date them?  I mean I won't date someone too quickly, no, but we don't have to have known each other for months or anything.  Jason and I started dating I don't even think two weeks after meeting, and we had a great relationship for almost four years 'til the end. What do you consider the greatest threat to mankind?  Hm, deep question... probably lack of compassion. Describe your music taste in one word:  Consistent. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, where would you go to hide?  Ideally a brick building or something likewise. Who’s your favorite character on That '70s Show? AHHHHH I LOVE THAT SHOW!!  Probably Hyde.  Maybe Kitty.  But I love them all omg <3  All the characters are SO memorable. Do you fangirl/fanboy over anyone?  hahahahahahahhHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Have you ever said 'I love you’ and didn’t mean it?  I've said it back to Mom when I feel that I didn't, though I know I did. Use one word to describe your last kiss. Awkward. How much is gas where you live? Two-something.  Mid twos. What has caused you to reinvent yourself or reevaluate who you are? Absolutely Holly Hill.  It saved my life.  I looked at my situation in a totally different light. Short, knee, or ankle skirts?  I tend to aesthetically like those that are a little above the knee. What couldn’t you live your life without? My mom.  I don't think I'd survive.  She's the one who makes sure I keep myself on the right path. Would you be on that who wants to marry a millionaire show as a contestant?  1.) Why the fuck would I marry someone just for money and 2.) why the fuck would I want to go into a relationship with someone I just met. Is it easier to live when you’re evil? Sure, no remorse. <<< Yeah. Have you ever given blood?  Once. Are you a miracle? I consider every single life a miracle; it's the source of one tattoo I have.  This world being created and adapted as it has is miraculous enough, and then the odds of you exactly being conceived is SO fucking rare. Can musicians be held responsible for influencing people to behave badly?  No.  People make their own choices, lyrics don't change that. What annoys you the most about yourself?  I immediately assume the worst end result of any situation. Is it better for people to change and evolve their ideas or always be consistent?  It depends on the belief. Do you want a girl or a boy as your first born?  I don't want kids, but if I did, definitely a girl. Do you have any embarrassing usernames?  Eh, don't like some anymore, but no. Have you ever scratched yourself until your skin was raw?  I have six long scars on my left shin (one being the worst scar on my body) and four more mild ones on my right front scratching the fuck out of them after I shave and then shower.  I don't know why the fuck it happens, but it's awful.  Even lotion doesn't really help. What is the longest essay or research paper you have written?  Ten or so pages. Do you worry about being judged by other people?  I shouldn't be but I'm heavily concerned with it. If someone doesn’t like you, do you usually want to know the reason?  Duh.  I want to know if it's petty or something I can improve on. Can you do a flip on a trampoline?  I used to do front flips, but I was too scared to do back flips because I had this intense fear of breaking my neck or something.  Stopped entirely because of that fear. Does your doctor freak you out?  She doesn't freak me out, she's just unfriendly. Does it annoy you when people’s eyebrows are a different color than hair?  Don't care. Has your grandma ever cussed in front of you before?  More like at me.  But in front of me, too, once or twice. What primary color is your Christmas tree?  Green.  I want a black one, man, but since it's a family thing, it's obviously not just up to me. What’s the best camera brand?  I think it's technically Canon. Where do you go fishing at?  Dad and I haven't gone in forever, but it was pretty much always somewhere on the Tar River or Sapony Creek. How old were your parents when you were born?  Uhhh I don't have my parents' ages memorized, but Mom was around 35 and Dad's one year younger than her. Is there one song that you know all the lyrics to? A decent number, yeah. Has a cat/dog ever thrown up on your bed?  Omg no I'd never sleep on that bed again pretty much. Have you ever had a concussion? Ugh, yes.  Can't even explain how bad it was. Have you seen the movie "The Dark Knight?"  You can't date the world's biggest Joker fan and not at some point. Do you know anyone who has a pet gecko? Summer has a leopard gecko and he's super-duper cute. Is there an animal that you’re afraid of? Maggots and slugs are the worst, whale sharks, some spiders and bugs. Kissed someone who was a really bad kisser?  Tbh. Gotten in trouble for public displays of affection? OKAY SO.  Jason and I used to ride the bus home together and one day I was falling asleep in his lap, and he was too.  Our friends were joking around and yelled something along the lines of us being too affectionate, so the bus driver came back to see what was up, and she looked so confused when she saw we were just trying to sleep lmao.  But she still told us to just sit next to each other.  Looking back on it, it was funny. Do you get bad hangovers?  Never had one. Have you ever sent a friend request to someone who you thought was someone different? No but true shit the only reason I accepted Jason's friend request was because I thought he was a different Jason lmao. Have you ever chatted with someone on webcam?  No because it's awkward as fuck.  Wait.  I did once with Jason.  Never again.  Jeez, three questions I've mentioned him in the last four ones.  Ew. Have you ever solved a Rubik’s cube? I ain't got the patience for that shit. Are you embarrassed/uncomfortable dancing in front of other people? YUP.  One reason why I don't. Do you ever drink directly from beverage containers because you don’t want to dirty a cup? No, because I don't want other people drinking my backwash??  This is such a backwards question. If you carry a purse, roughly how big is it? What do you carry in it? It's small.  Phone, iPod, wallet, keys, hand sanitizer, a few other miscellaneous things I may need. Of all the pets you have had throughout your life, which one has meant the most to you? Is there a reason why?  My current dog Teddy.  He's an absolute angel that adores me probably even more than I adore him.  He's been an important part of my life for 11 years, and I could never love a literal child more. Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you? My mom 'cuz she'd kill a bitch. Is love a commitment to one person, or can you love more than one person at the same time?  I believe it's totally possible to be interested in more than one people, but love?  Only one.  I believe loving someone is about putting him/her above all others. What is your favorite kind of incense?  Omg I had this one, red incense that smelled fucking AMAZING, but I don't remember what it was called! D: Who is the most immature person you know?  *winks @ Sara* Do you read your friend’s surveys? Yes, because it's a cool way to learn usually miscellaneous things about them you wouldn't have known. If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you pick?  I wouldn't want to get one tomorrow, actually.  I want to get a Markiplier tattoo I designed for Christmas, and I'm going to estimate it'll be around $150-$200 (I'm not good at estimating tat prices, so take that with a grain of salt), so I want to be sure we have money for that first.  Literally the only thing I'm asking for for Christmas, I just don't ask for much anymore. How do you feel about band tattoos?  I'm not against them or anything, but I'm not sure I'll ever get one. What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? Opposite or same, lip piercings. What brand of hair dye do you prefer to use? Splat is the only kind that's ever actually made the color stick for months.  Won't use anything but that anymore. Would you ever get your hips pierced?  No, seems painful as fuck and dangerous with pants and all, and I'm not skinny enough to look good with them. Have you ever gone to court? Not for a "real" trial, but I did have to give my reasoning as to why I felt I should be discharged from the hospital earlier (I think they wanted me there a month) to a judge, and it was one of the most nerve-wracking things ever.  I did win the case, though. Would you ever want to swim with the sharks?  No.  I'm not necessarily scared of sharks and even believe they're immensely misunderstood, but I don't trust a shark enough to swim with it. Do you like sushi? I can pretty much guarantee I'd absolutely loathe it.  Never trying. What is the worst thing that could possibly happen to you? Relapsing.  I will fucking not go through that again. Who is your favorite visual artist?  NukeRooster and Culpeo-Fox of dA.  Their styles are super recognizable and just wonderful.  I actually want a tattoo of one of NukeRooster's pieces ("Denialism") and actually got her permission, but it would be INCREDIBLY expensive with how intricate it is, so it's gonna be a looooong time 'til that happens. How old were you when you figured out what you wanted to do for a career?  Lmao last month, so 21. Is there anyone with whom you would like to be better friends? A LOT of people.  Mostly online friends, but some irl too. Who was the last person you cried in front of?  Mom. Do you like pretzels?  I have a massive preference for soft ones, but I'll eat either. Do any of your friends have children?  My best friend's pregnant and I have some friends I used to be closer to who have young kids. Would you rather cry in public or make someone else cry in public?  I'd rather cry, but either would suck. Would you rather re-live today forever or not live?  I have absolutely zero desire for immortality. Have you ever truly thought you knew who you were going to marry?  Yeah. Who was the last person of the opposite sex to be in your bedroom?  I actually don't think a guy has ever been in this bedroom...  Well, maybe save for when people were helping us move in, but I don't remember. Do you like kissing in public?  Only if it's just a simple peck. Is the male or female body closest to perfection?  I don't think either is "better" than the other. Four guys/girls whom you find attractive:  1.) Mark Fischfuck, 2.) Link Neal, 3.) Hannah Hart is like my biggest female celeb crush, 4.) uhhh... I'm not really sure.  Maybe Johnny Depp? What is your definition of cheating? As soon as you're flirting with someone else in an obviously non-playful way, you're cheating. Do you tend to go for older or younger when looking for someone to date? Older guys for maturity, no preference with girls. When do you want to get married?  I don't have a specific time in mind.  I don't want kids, so it's not like I'm racing the biological clock. Describe your personality in 3 words or less:  Really Fucking Awkward™ What size bed do you have?  Queen How many friends do you have?  Very few that I consider "friends," really.  Around like 10, and most I include are more like... a bit higher than acquaintances, but not really "friends?" What's the worst thing you have ever done?  It's something I don't talk about because it's humiliating to think I've done it. What is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)  Dry as actual fuck. Are you going to change your last name when you get married?  If I marry a man, yes.  If I maybe a girl, depends on whose name sounds better with whose last name lol. What is your phone background?  Lock screen, Mark Fischbach, home screen, the magic sigil from "Shadow of the Colossus." Have you taken self-defense classes?  No, but I should.  Particularly with how much I distrust people. What are you known for among your friends? Being very quiet. The person you would never want to meet? A rapist.  For someone who's never even been harassed, I am fucking terrified of them and rape in general to the point my mother and therapist have asked multiple times if I've ever been molested. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? The divorce.  I would say the breakup, but that, in the end, had an amazing effect on me. Have you ever built a snowman?  Yeah. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?  Vanilla, but sometimes I'm in the mood for chocolate. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?  The picture I did of one of my RP OC's scars to demonstrate how it looked since it was hard to describe. What do you think about babies?  I'm very uncomfortable around them and feel like I can just touch them and they'll break.  And unlike, like, everyone, I don't find newborn/very young babies cute. What is the effect on you of having people physically nearby, if they’re not interacting with you? AWKWARD AS FUCK I GET SO UNCOMFORTABLE.  Like whenever my mom sits on the couch (it's directly outside my door), I have to close it because her being able to see me and me being able to see her is awkward to me.  If I'm sitting in the front seat of a car with someone, I need music on. Have you ever been extremely tired but refused to go to sleep?  I do that a LOT. Have you ever experienced something paranormal? I feel I have at least twice. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve been stuck in traffic?  I don't know.  You don't get AWFUL traffic jams in this part of NC, but we've definitely waited a while. Best field trip experience? The zoo in 5th grade!!  Saw meerkats for the first time and I was fucking ecstatic. How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one?  Sometimes I don't go on for days, and if I do, I go through my news feed once and am done. What is the worst thunderstorm you’ve experienced? Maybe this one time when we still lived in Sharpsburg...  Mom came to get us from our friend's house, which was maybe like 15 minutes away, and I was having an absolute panic attack. Favorite episode of Spongebob?  Hm.  Maybe the Slasher one.  Or the pizza one. What bug frightens you most?  Rhinoceros beetles and wasps. Do you hate your weight? Yup.  But it's getting better. What do you usually order on a pizza?  Jalapeno from Domino's, pepperoni from Little Caesar's because their jalapeno is too hot for even me. What is one thing that the Titanic has taught you?  Don't go on a ship in a fucking arctic ocean. What is one thing you dislike about sheep? Why? I'm going to assume they smell bad?  But otherwise, I love sheep, they're super cute. What do you think is an assumption that someone could make about you, just by looking at your Tumblr? Would this assumption be correct?  That I love Mark, Rhett, and Link more than I love myself & they're probably right lmao. Do you sleep with your door closed or open? It's usually open, but I sometimes close it because Bentley annoys the fuck out of me because he comes into my room just to scratch himself relentlessly and get more fur in my room than there already is.  Like he ALWAYS comes to my room just to do this shit.  It's most annoying just because he's obnoxiously loud when he does this and I'm trying to sleep. Do you sometimes need help opening water bottles, Gatorade bottles, etc.? YUP.  My hands are extremely soft, so it hurts easily. What would you say is your number one priority in life right now?  My mental health, 100%. Are you someone who has to hide the things you like around friends? I don't have to, no, but I ABSOLUTELY do.  I'm way too easily embarrassed about what I'm passionate about.  But for some reason I'm not online. Do you like word or picture tattoos better? It depends on the style, how well it is done, and the placement. <<< This. When will your driver’s license expire?  My permit expires in December. If you did, did you have to get a Tetanus shot?  I think?  Isn't that a required vaccination? What color lipstick do you think looks best on you?  Black.  I think me being so pale actually makes it look nice on me. Do you prefer pastel colors or dusty colors? Forests or beaches? Strawberries or bananas? Pastels, forests, strawberries. Do you prefer sunshine or moonlight? Gardening or baking? Flowers or succulents?  Moonlight, neither, uhhh flowers maybe.  Or maybe the latter.  Idk. Do you use emojis when you text or type online?  No, I use emoticons.  It's a fucking miracle if I ever use an emoji. Do you like playing games by yourself or with other people? If you're talking about video games, usually alone. Do you prefer honey or jam? Roses or sunflowers? Oatmeal or cereal?  Jame, roses, probably cereal. Give me a random word in another language. Tell me what it means.  "Erdmännchen" is German for "meerkat." A romantic meal, a trip to a theme park, or go to a concert? Concert, dude. When was the last time you had an alcoholic beverage?  Two months ago because Mom felt like getting Smirnoff's and apparently we have the same favorite (the Jamaican one) and she laughed "well you better drink it before me or Nicole do" so we shared two. Do you believe you'll find someone better than who you're with now?  Honest opinion, I think she's perfect for me.  So finding someone better would surprise me. Do you like pineapple?  YES Would you ever smoke?  No.  I don't fancy cancer, bad breath, and a likely addiction. What was the first thing you are/were excited to do upon turning 21?  Even when I got out of the hospital, I did nothing to celebrate.  There wasn't really anything I looked forward to besides just legally being an adult. You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?  I don't ever want to be drunk considering I don't like the idea of not having a full grip on myself but if that was to ever hypothetically happen, it'd be Colleen, I'm sure. Do you like hickeys?  If they're not obvious. Do you always answer your texts?  If I have nothing to say, no. Do people ever call you by your last name?  No, I'd hate that.  I don't like my last name, plus it's masculine. What do you most like about making out?  It's just a passionate experience. When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?  Huh.  Kinda split according to history. Are you too shy to ask someone out?  Apparently not. If an attractive person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it? 1.) Looks are whatever and 2.) I'm not an ass, and even if they broke up, I wouldn't date a disloyal person. Is it hard for you to imagine life away from your hometown?  I don't live in my hometown already. Do you expect to move out in the next year?  That'd be pretty much miraculous. Name something you have always wanted and never got.  An iguana, for one. Do you want a small or big wedding?  I'm sure it'll be pretty small.  I'm not close to enough people to want them to come, but it obviously also depends on who my s/o wants to come. Do you actually participate in gym class, or just stand there? Participated considering you couldn't graduate without it.  Which was fucking stupid. Have you ever found yourself worrying about commitment?  I've never had that fear. Are you dressing up for Halloween this year? I'd like to, but I doubt it. Do you have unlimited texting? Yes. Have you ever slept a whole day away?  Accidentally and I had a massive panic attack because it totally screwed me up. Do you like those ramen noodles?  I actually really dislike ramen.  There was this one spicy kind, though, that I essentially survived off of in the apartment, and it was good.  Don't remember the name, though. What’s your favorite song by Daughtry? "No Surprise" Do you make good first impressions?  I honestly doubt I do because I'll just make it fucking awkward because I'll be uncomfortable. Are you ashamed of your past?  Many parts of it. Name all the social networking sites you use: Just Tumblr and Facebook. Do you watch "The Walking Dead"?  No. Are raisins good?  Omg no.  Disgusting. Do you get cold easily?  I get hot easier. Have either of your parents gone to jail?  No. Do you think homosexuality (anything beside heterosexual) is a choice? I personally believe it's a mutation considering it defies the biological plan, BUT a mutation does not equate to being wrong.  I fully support it.  I don't believe it's a choice either because you can't force yourself to be sexually attracted to a certain gender. Do you wax, pluck, or leave your eyebrows?  Leave them.  Mom takes Nicole and me to get ours waxed for only special occasions.  There's really just no point. Do you like guns? NO.  I'm not into extreme gun control and overall do support the 2nd Amendment (but with some degree of improved control), but I'm personally horrified of them and never want to touch one.  They hold way too much power. Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? I keep Venus' light on. What do you think of mosh pits?  Seems pretty stupid, honestly.  I've never heard of someone not being in pain after a mosh pit. Do you wear hoop earrings or studs more?  Eh, kinda tied. Have you ever had stitches?  Twice. Does heat seem to drain you of your energy?  Completely. Who do you think has it harder in terms of expectations regarding physical appearance: men, or women?  Elaborate on your choice? Women, easily.  We have an absolute novel of societal expectations. Who is the most emotionally strong person that you know?  I have a number of people in mind, but I don't know about most. Do you feel comfortable staying over at other people's houses for the night? I have to know the person very well. Or would you rather they stayed over at yours?  No, my place is boring as fuck. Do you spend time online when your friends are over?  I'll twiddle on my phone if we're doing nothing, but I don't use my laptop. Do you spend [too much] time texting when you’re around others? No, I try to refrain from texting when I'm with friends. Who was the “bad guy” in the last book you read? That I finished, Ner'zhul was the "main" one if we're being technical, but Arthas was a villain as well. Are you an insomniac? I officially do have insomnia.  I now have to take Melatonin every night if I at all hope to sleep.

#survey #quiz #questions

[whyareyouyellingatme]

A post I deleted in the end

Here's one of the most personal/long things I've ever posted, and if you hate me you'll probably have a field day laughing at this one. I don't know how long it'll take before I maybe...delete it. I don't want anyone to respond with likes or comments. If you have something to say you can pm me, but I don't enjoy talking about it outside of one ong rant. I rant like this so I can jot it all down for records / evidence I'm not irrational, and then move on.

Here's the TL;DR: Rick Ranquist - 40+ years old, lives in Utah possibly Michael Aigner - mid 20's, probably lives in Bellingham by the pool Cooper Texeira - My age, lives in Seattle and goes to my school

All these men are white sexual offenders that did not get a punishment for their crimes.

When I was seven my 20+ year old babysitter did stuff with me that I did not understand, and I don't properly remember a lot of it. I thought it was a game, but it was actually doing sexual favors for a pedophile. I read a line in "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe" about a man trying so hard to forget something unpleasant that he eventually succeeds in forgetting it. I tried to do that with the memory, and it sort of worked until I heard his name, Ricky. My brother said, "Remember when Ricky----" and that's all I heard before I started dissociating and everything was like someone was smothering me with a pillow.

His sister called me a liar when I said "your brother does weird stuff with me and plays games I don't understand". I decided if she didn't believe me, nobody would, because she was my neighbor and my friend. She still doesn't know today I was telling the truth.

I got raped when I was 19 by a 23 year old that had been grooming me since I was 16. I tried reporting it to the police and they laughed at me, nearly hanging up on me. I went to the ER, got a cervical exam while a doctor ogled my vagina with awe (because my relatively young genitals excited him, how professional). The taxi driver saw me crying and said "you put him on a list! Get him on a list!" and nope, he didn't get put on any kind of list. That fucked me up for a long time. I was numb for a long time. I just watched non stop television and didn't think. I can remember the exact outfit I put in a brown paper evidence bag, and I can remember the exact outfit I wore for days afterwards. I really changed as a person after that. Being isolated from all your friends and spending 3 years dedicating all your time to a shitty abusive man that made you think everything was your fault. Not fun.

Weirdly enough, a man who's in my family pushed me not to report the rape or try pushing for anything else from the police, because he thought it would traumatize me further. I gave up. I didn't want to see Michael, he made me sick. I was partially relieved I got out of the cycle of abuse, but I held on to a rage for a while . I still feel it if I think too much about it. I get really angry but it helps nothing because what can I do ? I'd imagine scenarios where I got to kill him as revenge.

It looked really cute on the surface! It looked like I was having a good time. But I was having panic attacks every week trying to make him happy, despite the beatings, despite the yelling (bc that's normal in my household so I thought it was normal in relationships) until the day that he went way too far.

I really thought it was my fault and that I deserved it for being stupid or not good enough. I was too focused on a very heavy school schedule and an eating disorder/self harm problem to realize I could do better for myself. Of course all of his friends saw me as a "crazy bitch" as he was beating me, real nice. His family was really racist and he broadcasted all of our arguments to them. His sister threatened to hit me with a wrench, not knowing/caring that her brother was already beating me. All of them just kind of watched whenever I broke down crying in front of them. His dad said "women get like this", I'm not...a woman. Not for someone like you dude.

Michael showed up at my house a couple days after it happened too. He stalked me for a while. I still get freaked out being alone sometimes. I have a knife collection and pepper spray, and even guns, but none of them make me feel as safe as a genuine friend does. I'm easily startled and for a while I had really horrible nightmares and panic attacks in public. It got a little better with time, but I still have really bad days. It's still difficult going anywhere near medical centers or dealing with cervical exams.

(I tried speaking with a nurse about the possibility that I have PTSD from that event, and she brushed me off with a "Women used to get raped all the time and they would have to just deal with it. You should lose some weight." Which started up my eating disorder again...horribly enough, people have been so cruel to me but I still care so much what they think.)

I tried faking confidence and happiness in college. I don't have a supportive healthy family, I just have me and whoever decides to be my friend. I made a friend group and went to parties with them. That was fun until a person I trusted grabbed at me when I was incredibly drunk. He led me to his room where I passed out. I wasn't sober enough to understand what was going on or even walk properly, and he texted people things from my phone saying that I was okay. It was all just kind of stupid honestly.

I woke up the next day in my room, on the floor, feeling kind of gross and even more gross as I try to figure out what happened the night before. He shows up at my work wanting me to serve him ice cream. I go in to report him because he did end up grabbing me without consent.

I lost my friend group. And after describing him grabbing my chest and ass in a disgusting amount of detail to a man that said "I remember being a young man and partying in college" with a cheerful nostalgia, I lost the case too. He didn't get anything. At this point I was kind of used to being treated like a piece of meat, so I was just mad he didn't learn anything. In fact, he has been checking up on me online to find dirt on me and report ME to the school for talking shit. His girlfriend has been doing the same, angry because she thinks he was trying to cheat with me. Cheating is consensual.

People just don't learn sometimes. I'm not a thing. I'm an nb lesbian though, and the guy that tried stuff with me when I was drunk knew that. He thought he could convert me.

I've been going through all of this without therapy, trying to just go to school. I tried telling a counselor about my situation and he said "those are long term problems that the university cannot handle".

Maybe I seem quiet and aloof, maybe I'm annoying to you, maybe you think I'm a liar or something stupid like that. But god damn it, I am a human being. I've been through some gross shit. I'm tired of people touching me and trying to invade my space. I'm tired of creepy ass college professors comparing me to their girlfriends and saying shit like "things aren't going so well with her". It's never a compliment you're just fuckin weird dude.

I'm super disconnected from reality even now (sometimes) because I don't like thinking about any of this. I stayed silent about it for quite a while because of all the people who probably wouldn't believe me. But uhhhh fuck you guys I know who I am.

This is a really personal story, especially very personal to be posting on facebook. It makes me feel super vulnerable, but not as much as having the memories bouncing around in my head nonstop makes me feel. I have a girlfriend now and I'm living in a pretty safe place at the moment. There's a lot of other shit happening in my life, my PTSD dog (one of my only sources of comfort in a bad time) got hit by a car and died. :( You all probs know about that, I just miss her when I think about the past. So I've just been trying to figure out how to help myself, you know?

This post got really fucking long and I don't feel like editing it. If you ever think I'm quiet, it's because I'm tired of explaining myself. I want to be my usual joke-y self but sometimes that feel really fake. I don't like thinking about all of this, but I think someone should know.

I wanted to write this post when I was sure I could finish it without crying. It has been a while since something super bad has happened to me, and that distance between the event and reality really helps muffle the emotional response.

Cheers to the survivors that aren't "good" survivors that react a specific way. Cheers to those of you that aren't comfortable sharing your story because it's really not anybody's business unless you want to say something.

I don't know, I still try and have fun, pretending nothing happened. I hate this crap. I hate the emotional baggage. Wish I could chuck it, but my brain has a different plan.

Like, all of this shit happened on TOP of me living in an extremely abusive home so you can imagine I tried to kill myself.

I'm a human being. Stop treating me like shit. I'm tired of it. I'm also not as mean as I look, I don't bite. I'm here for you as a friend if you need it. I just couldn't sleep tonight because of all this crap.

Please don't react to this I'm just babbling. I don't want to deal with people that have no empathy for my long ass story just because it's long / badly written. I'm just tired. I'm soooooo fucking tired.

Edit: I'm trying to reread this just once, but I can't even do it. Like not because it's hard, I literally just look at the words and they mean nothing. My brain basically put up a firewall against upsetting shit so I lose touch with reality whenever I get near it for too long. It's hard describing dissociation but if you would like to know more u should google it. A weird time. Anyway gn I'm alright I just needed to fucking let it out.

[acenancy]

bending too far backwards to say i didn’t try

Fandom: American Gods Pairing: Mad Wife Rating: Idk, T?

AN: Anyway, I misunderstood the prompt physical hurt/comfort from an anon and wrote this for them. Like, i 100% misread the ask lmfao I’m sorry. Also, this is just kind of pointless banter? But whatever, I wrote this at work (shh) and it’s half-assed, anyway. I owe you a proper one, anon!

(ao3)

It's twenty below in Michigan and the ice cream truck's AC is blasting. Sweeney shivers in the passenger seat, body shaking, teeth chattering, glaring at Laura with enough heat it could melt the snow bank they've crashed into.

She doesn't pay him any mind. Her attention is glued to a point in the distance, to a beacon of something Sweeney has yet to see for himself. Laura calls it Shadow and love and her newfound reason for living. Sweeney calls it a pain in his ass, and that’s on the good days. On bad days, Laura pinches his lips between her fingers so hard he can't speak ill of anyone, much less her husband, for the next two weeks.

"We can walk there," says Laura, still fixated on the horizon. "It'll only take, what? 6 hours?"

"You're out of your skull if you think I'm leaving this ice cream truck to prance through a fucking blizzard."

"If we don't, we're stuck here. All night. Probably all of tomorrow. Until this snow clears. Do you get how much time we'll be wasting?"

"Oh, I get it.” Sweeney tugs the blankets swaddled around his body tighter. “I got it when you insisted your puppy needed us to go after him again,” he snarls. “I got it when you turned the air on in the dead of winter because you felt the meat sliding off your bones. I get that you have no regard for my life whatso-fucking-ever. But this, I refuse to get. Walk your six hours in this hell storm all you want, Dead Wife. I’m staying here.”

"You're such a fucking wimp," Laura sighs. She falls against the back of the driver’s seat, her fight on the backburner for now. "It's not even that cold."

"Tell that to my snowballs."

One of Laura's eyes gets stuck in its socket when she rolls them at him. Casually, she pulls it back into place with her pointer finger.

"Why are you in such a hurry this time, anyway?" asks Sweeney. "It’s not as though this is anything new. Your husband is always in trouble as long as he's Wednesday's man.”

Sweeney doesn't expect Laura to answer. Snow falls heavy against the windshield in the silence that follows, obscuring the gray winter light of day and Laura's Beacon of Bull until all they can see is a blanket of white. She does speak though, eventually, quietly. "Because I feel…a shiver."

Sweeney's eyes flicker to Laura's chest where she keeps his coin, the only thing animating her corpse.

Laura feels her bones grinding to dust; she feels her skin disintegrating like wet toilet paper and her hair whisping away; she feels the maggots and bile eating away at her organs; she feels formaldehyde sitting heavy in her veins. Not air swirling in her lungs or blood pumping from her heart or every other sensation humans take for granted.

Laura does not feel what a living person feels. Laura does not shiver.

"A shiver," Sweeney parrots, disbelieving.

"Or, like, I'm about to shiver and can't," Laura elaborates. "Like my skin is aching to shake one off."

"Are you saying you feel cold?" Sweeney slips his hand out from the pile of blankets he's buried himself beneath, pointing viciously at the AC. "Because I’ll fuckin’ tell ya why you’re cold-”

Laura turns the air off so hard she snaps the knob off the console. She throws it onto Sweeney’s lap where not even the blankets can cushion the blow to his groin.

“You bitch,” he wheezes.

“Take me seriously,” she demands. Sweeney doesn't make another peep, so Laura continues. "I know I'm feeling whatever the hell this is,” she gestures to her body as if there’s anything interesting to see other than a woman who should be six feet below the dirt, “because of Shadow. Anytime I feel anything it's because of him."

She says this simply, matter of fact; the same way you would say “alternate side parking is in effect for today.” Sweeney doesn’t think Laura realizes the weight of what she says most of the time. He does, because it sits heavy in his gut, dragging it to his knees without his permission. It feels a little like anger or disappoint or longing. Maybe it feels something like missing your chance.

Or being in love with a dead girl.

Same thing.

Sweeney clears his throat, schooling his features into some semblance of unbothered. “Okay,” he drawls, “and how do you know something bad is happening to your husband?”

“I dunno. Is shivering a good feeling or a bad feeling?”

“Uncomfortable, mostly. Are you sure your husband isn’t just a tad chilly? That he’s forgotten to close the refrigerator, perhaps?”

“It’s a bad feeling, asshole.”

“Debatable. But fine, I suppose it isn’t particularly pleasant.”

Laura’s nostrils flare. A centipede curiously pokes his head from one’s depths with the motion. Furiously, Laura yanks it out, throwing it on the floor at Sweeney’s feet. She pulls her bony legs up to her chest then, wrapping her arms around them and rolling her head to stare out the frost covered driver’s side window.

Sweeney conks his head against his headrest, cursing his immortal mortal flesh for not being able to withstand the cold for her. Then he curses Laura for making him curse himself in the first place. But as much as he loathes the notion, if he could, Sweeney would help Laura climb Mount Everest in a speedo and flip-flops if Shadow were at the top, only because she’d want to.

And it’s always about what Laura wants, isn’t it? She wants to feel again, so they go after Shadow; she wants to come back to life, so they track down the goddess of rebirth; she wants to set Salim free so they steal a fucking ice cream truck. This journey was never about helping her husband – it was about hunting him down across this American wasteland in the off-chance Shadow could make her heart beat again. Then, when Sweeney promised her resurrection, it was about finding the queen who could breathe life back into her veins. Now they’re back to square one, chasing the scraps Shadow leaves her, and it still is not about him. Laura never loved Shadow; she only loves what he does for her.

They’re both dumb fucking suckers, in Sweeney’s opinion, but he’s still the dick hanging on for the ride.

"You can go, if you gotta," Sweeney tells her. "I'll hold down the soft serve while you're gone."

"No. I'm not going to leave you," Laura tells him. Always, such heavy words thrown around light as rice at a wedding. Then, "I don't trust you won't steal my truck."

Sweeney shoots Laura a severely unimpressed side eye and catches her running hands up and down her biceps, trying and failing to rub heat into her arms. It’s not possible for her to actually be cold, he knows, but nonetheless, Sweeney finds himself staring, waiting for goose bumps to rise along her skin, for any indication she could possibly be regaining some likeness of life.

Nothing.

It’s pointless, the hoping and waiting and pretending he doesn’t long to touch her icy dead flesh, so Sweeney decides to fuck it all and hold open his blankets. “Get under if you’re so shivery,” he tells Laura, and doesn’t even bother sounding like he doesn’t want her to.

She barely spares him a glance before looking back out the window. “I’m married,” she reminds him.

“Never stopped you before.”

She snorts. “I’m dead.”

“Do I look like a fucking necrophiliac to you?”

Amusement flickering in her eyes, Laura returns her attention to him with a slick smirk.

“Don’t answer that,” snaps Sweeney. “Just get under the damn blankets.”

“I’ll only make you colder,” Laura warns him.

“You won’t,” he lies. Then, because she’s hesitating, he adds “as long as that godforsaken air conditioner stays off.”

Bored of his complaints, Laura only blinks in response. Then she climbs from her seat to his, jabbing him with her blade sharp elbows and pushing him halfway off the seat to make room for herself.

Annoyed, Sweeney huffs into her hair, ignoring the smell of death in his nose, and wraps his arms around her middle. Holding her is the equivalent of hugging a block of ice, but something in his chest heats and melts, and he’s never felt warmer in all the centuries he’s been alive.

Laura curls into him, short legs thrown across his lap, arms folded against his chest, and rest her head against his fast beating heart. She places her hand over it, staring at the spot with something like longing. “Let’s just go to sleep,” she whispers. “We have a long way to walk tomorrow.”

“Perun strike my down if I’m walking in this shit.”

Through the fabric of his shirt, Sweeney can feel Laura’s cracked lips break into a smile. He watches her veiny eyelids flutter shut against him.

“Don’t be a little bitch,” she murmurs to his heart.

#american gods #mad wife #mad wife fanfiction #american gods fanfiction #madwife #madwife fanfiction #mine

[johnnybby]

the gang on a cruise - hcs

requested by anon - these take place in a modern au!!

who comes up with this wild idea???? 

“so…….guys…. we got u all together here today because” (soda looks at two)

“how bout we go….”

“on A CRUISE”

two and soda said that and nearly everyone erupted in a collective “NOOOOOOOO”

steve and johnny were the only two to say “yEAH”

lil steve has never been more excited for anything in his damn LIFE 

“FUCK U DALLY ITS 4 VERSUS 3 GO GET UR FUCKN SWIMMING TRUNKS”

the curtis household is an actual MESS between booking it, packing and just the whole thing in general

there’s literally never a dull/quiet moment (as always) (but now it’s 10x worse)

they literally dont pack until last minute

like it’s 5 hours before they’re supposed to be leaving 

and nO ONE

NO ONE

EXCEPT DARRY & PONY 

HAS PACKED

bc we know darry probably drilled down on pony to make sure he was packed on time

darry is losing his fuckin mind when everyone is at the Curtis house asking for shit

they have to catch a flight to miami bc their cruise is to the bahamas

darry saw the groupon and he hasn’t looked back since

darry is def on the plane asking if someone has aspirin or excedrin

“sometHING I NEED SOMETHING” 

dar thought he was getting a vacation asap but this whole process of preparing and getting there has never made the times so stressful

steve keeps asking for food??

“DARRY IM HUNGRY”

yknow how they give out pretzels or peanuts?

HE HAD ONE OF EACH

HE EVEN ATE THE PAPER OF A NAPKIN BY ACCIDENT

johnny is softly sleepin

dally is kicking the chair of the lady in front of him

and two is snoring at mAX volume

before they board the ship

they have all their luggages and shit and their hair is all messy and fucked up w/out grease!! (but in a sloppy-cute way)

but darry turns around and he’s like

“when we’re here, i don’t know any of you. i don’t know your names, u don’t know mine. if you bother me or make trouble, i swear on our parents that i WILL RING YOUR DAMN NECKS”

steve ends up yelling

“AWWWW FUCK”

“WHAT STEVE WHAT HAPPENED”

“I FORGOT EXTRA UNDERWEAR”

“I LITERALLY ASKED YOU THAT BEFORE WE LEFT” (darry)

EVERYONE IS DUMBFOUNDED AT FIRST BY HOW BEAUTIFUL THE WATER IS

CAUSE EVEN DALLY’S NEVER SEEN CLEAR BLUE WATER BEFORE 

BUT THEN EVERYONE HAS THESE SECONDARY THOUGHTS THAT ARE HYSTERICAL

soda’s all

“can we drink it”

“it’s water isn’t it?” (steve)

“ITS BLUE WATER” (soda)

“I THINK ITS LIKE POOL WATER” (steve)

and then u can hear darry speedwalk w his squeaking flipflops 

“god, you guys r just embaras-”

*already drinking it*

“you guys it’s saLTWATer”

*already spitting it out*

dally’s reaction to the water is ike

guys it’s just water

it’s just saltwater

stevepop takes another swing at drinkin the water to see maybe if it tastes different a second time (spoiler alert….it doesn’t)

but pony and johnny r still so struck by it

“wow. it’s just so beautiful. you see how the sun glistens off the water johnny? it’s awfully gorgeous”

and johnny’s like

“i aint never seen somethin so big in my life. well, except for the sky of course. it just looks neverendin”

steve overhears and says passingly

“calm down u two, the water aint nothing special it just tastes like ass”

two foR once in his LIFE

isn’t putting his two-bit into somethin

he’s actually speechless about the water

on the cruise itself tho,

darry is deadass in the saunas

he’s gettin massages and facials and shit

steve and soda are chasing each other around one of the decks

pony is getting seasick as FUCK

johnny is eating icecream

dally is smoking his life away

and getting yelled at by staff for it

and then continuing to do so anyways

two is having margaritas and sangrias at 3 in the afternoon bc he promised not to drink heavy

even tho by like midnight

he drinks a six pack of beer and he’s havin a grand ol time

steve and soda are horseplaying

on the deck

in the saunas

in the pool

in the meditation room

all im picturing is that in each room darry is somewhere w a grump face

while steve and soda are messin around with the playfighting and chasing and backflips??

LMFaO just change the backdrop of the location and stevepop are still fuckin around while darry is just “omgfdsfkh”

im tellin u rn that the playfighting becomes real after some time

like someone’s startin a fight

steve gets his tooth knocked out again

“cmon soda really??? the doc just replaced it”

“don’t be stupid it’s the tooth doctor u fuckin airhead”

“it’s the deNTIST U DROPOUT”

dally & two are always checkin out girls w soda

but soda only comes along when steve sleeps in

bc he loves hangin w his bro :’))

SODA IS DEF THE TYPE TO SUNBATHE 

AND DARRY COMES OVER AND HE’S LIKE

“soda what are you doing”

“move, ya michelin man. ur blocking my sun”

“you’re sunbathing?”

“well darry whAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE”

“well u need sunscreen, that’s what it looks like”

“go and get a massage or somethin jeez”

pony is 1000% gonna yank johnny down where they can see the sky real well at 7:02pm exACTLY

in order to see the sunset and stargaze afterwards

johnny will probably appreciate it but knock the fuck out

dally is definitely burning holes in towels with his cigarettes on purpose after he gets yelled at for smoking

KAROKE NIGHT IS A MESS

they have to drag two away from the mic

buT before he leaves, he gives the microphone a drunk peck of a kiss??

(DONT ASK WHY - IT’S JUST AN IMAGE IN MY HEAD OKAY)

okay well johnny is just THE happiest lil boy

he’s just so happy to be there with everyone in a place so far away from home

he’s just chillin with that ice creams and makin sure pony isn’t dead

and fkjshfk he’s just a lil ball of sunshine on the cruise, this kid

#these were sooo long sorry u guys #i can't help myself sometimes?? #i hope u like them!!! #the outsiders headcanons #the outsiders #the gang