#* i * know what i want to be. the problem is no one will fucking treat me as such

[taeyongdoyoung]

good for you

summary: your boyfriend is literally perfect and treats you like a princess but you want him to completely lose control 😇 pairing: mingyu x reader genre: smut, tooth-rotting fluff warnings: established relationship, home intruder roleplay, consensual somnophilia, safeword exists but isn't used, rough sex, no lube, no protection, neck biting, size kink (no one is surprised), titty slapping, sir kink, spanking, praise+degradation, slight dumbification, subspace, pet names, shy dom gyu, crying, mentions of pee (non-sexual context), aftercare!!! word count: 1.7k

You and Mingyu have not been together for long but from what you know so far he’s the sweetest guy you’ve ever dated. He treats you like a princess, brings you flowers or chocolates with or without occasion, drives you around everywhere, gets stuff from the top shelf for you and is basically the kindest soul to ever step on this Earth. You are, of course, beyond grateful for that, and do your best to show him how much you appreciate him every chance you get.

However, a little demon inside your brain kind of wants him to not treat you as if you are made of glass all the time. While the sex is great and Mingyu makes sure that you reach an orgasm, you can’t help but fantasize about him going rough on you. Even when his friends tease (bully) him, he almost never uses his height and strength to his advantage, instead accepting everything with a good-natured smile.

But you would be lying if you said that the idea of him just snapping doesn’t excite you. Nevertheless, you are not sure how to bring this up to him. You don’t want to sound ungrateful or for him to feel insecure about his abilities because he’s perfect the way he is. It’s your filthy brain that needs fixing. Still, you decide that honesty is the key to a healthy relationship and you gather all your courage to approach him about this.

“Hey, Mingyu, can we talk about something?” you ask one evening after you two have finished having dinner.

His eyes are immediately filled with worry. Judging by the tone of your voice, this is something serious. So far, your relationship has been lighthearted and devoid of any problems. Mingyu thinks that it’s going great but apparently he’s been fooling himself.

“What’s wrong?” he wants to know. “You’re not breaking up with me, right?”

“What?! Of course not! Do you want to break up with me?” you panic.

“No, no, please,” Mingyu shakes his head fervently.

“Good, good,” you exhale in relief.

“So, what did you wanna talk about?”

“Um, it’s kinda embarrassing but I don’t want to keep any secrets from you.”

“Secrets?” Mingyu blinks in curiosity.

“Yeah…You know how you’re always super gentle with me, both outside and inside the bedroom?”

“Uh, sure? What about it?”

“Can you consider…not doing that all the time?”

“In what sense?” Mingyu raises his eyebrows in confusion.

“In the sense that…can you fuck me harder without holding yourself back? You’re not gonna break me, I promise.”

“Oh…” he finally realizes what you’re getting at. Because he doesn’t say anything rightaway, you hurry to explain.

“Not that I don’t like how sweet and patient you are with me! It’s more than amazing, I just thought that…maybe it’d be fun to try something new. If it’s not your thing, forget I mentioned it, I’m so-“

“It’s not that it doesn’t sound appealing. But I’m afraid that if I’m not holding myself back, I’ll end up hurting you,” Mingyu confesses, surprising you.

You reach your hand out across the table to hold his comfortingly.

“You won’t. I know how caring you are, Mingyu. Which is why I would trust you with something like this. Okay?”

“Okay,” he nods. “Did you have a particular scenario in mind or do you want me to surprise you?”

“Surprise me.”

Mingyu smirks sinisterly. Oh God. What kind of demon have you unleashed?

🎀🎀🎀

A few days later, you receive a text from Mingyu while you’re walking home.

Mingyu: Busy tonight?

You: All yours

Mingyu: Unlock your door at exactly 10pm and wait for me in your bed. If I’m not there by 10:30, lock it again, alright?

You: Yes, sir 🛐

Mingyu: That’s my good girl.

Fucking hell. Your heart flutters upon reading these words. He’s called you that before but in this context, it thrills you even more than usual.

Mingyu: Safeword is butterfly. Use it if something is too much, if you’re in pain or for any other reason that brings you discomfort, okay?

You: I’m gonna need a safeword?!?!

Mingyu: I hope it doesn’t come to that but just in case. See you in a couple of hours, baby.

You’re too excited for tonight. You take a long shower. You wear your prettiest lingerie and make your room as cozy as possible. Not that it matters. You spray perfume over your neck and wrists. You put on some lipbalm and mascara. You want to look good for him. But the truth is, you had an exhausting week and already feel sleepy. You unlock the door at 10pm, climb into your bed and…

Somehow you fall asleep. You feel disoriented as your consciousness is slowly returning to you. You feel too hot, too weak and too full. Fuck. What’s going on? You don’t dare to open your eyes for fear of ruining the sweeter than sleep reality.

“Dumb baby couldn’t wait for me and fell asleep all by herself?” Mingyu’s deep voice coos in your ear.

In your half-awake state you feel your boyfriend’s cock thrusting deep inside of you, taking you rougher than ever before. Well, you asked for it.

“So cute and helpless, leaving the door unlocked for anyone to enter and use you like a whore,” Mingyu murmurs.

He rubs your clit vigorously while still fucking into you, making you wetter than ever before.

“Nnghh,” you whimper drowsily.

“Shhh, baby, go back to sleep,” Mingyu whispers. “I’ll take care of you. You don’t have to think about anything.”

He squeezes your boobs, leaning down to bite your neck like a hungry wolf. And here, you thought your boyfriend was just a cute puppy.

“S-so big,” you cry out pitifully.

“You can take it, slut,” Mingyu says confidently.

You don’t offer a verbal response but your body speaks for itself. Mingyu is almost splitting you in two but your pussy is swallowing him up greedily.

“H-harder, p-please,” your mouth seems to have a mind of its own because it speaks against any common sense.

Mingyu slaps your tits, a little hesitant at first.

It stings but it’s such a sweet hurt you’re already addicted to it.

“Like this?” he asks, making sure it’s okay.

“M-more,” you beg, forgetting all inhibitions. “Use me.”

He does it a couple of more times, while still fucking you roughly. His dick is so enormous that you’re certain you’ll be sore tomorrow but it will be more than worth it. You lose count of how many times you’ve come around his cock. Sliding out and flipping you on your belly, he takes you from behind, too, spanking your ass and gripping your hair.

“Such a good girl, just for me, right? No one else gets to see you like this, yeah?” Mingyu’s words come out rushed, almost in trance.

“All yours, sir,” you promise.

Mingyu seems satisfied with your answer because he spills his seed inside of you seconds after. You follow his lead and eventually, your knees give out, your mind goes blank and you collapse on the bed.

“Baby?” Mingyu checks up on you worriedly.

You are not capable of responding, brain barely functioning anymore. He moves you gently to see your face. Your eyes are open but unblinking, which scares the shit out of him.

“Come back to me, my sweetheart, please,” Mingyu cries out, hugging you tightly.

A couple of moments later, you still don’t remember your own name but something more important to you leaves your lips:

“Mingyu?” you whisper cautiously.

“Oh, angel,” Mingyu sighs. “I’m right here.”

Then, you suddenly burst into tears. Overwhelmed by how good he made you feel and how much he cares about you, your fully emotions take over.

“What’s wrong, baby? Did I hurt you?” Mingyu positions you so that you are sitting on his knee and rocks you gently back and forth.

“N-no,” you shake your head. “I’m s-so happy.”

“You poor thing,” Mingyu chuckles softly. “Can’t believe you worked so hard to doll yourself up and make the room smell nice. You knew I was gonna ruin your lingerie anyway, didn’t you?”

“I just wanted to look good for you,” you admit with a pout.

“You always do. My best girl,” Mingyu kisses you sweetly and wraps you in his warm embrace, lulling you back to sleep.

🎀🎀🎀

The next morning, you wake up to the feeling of wanting to pee so badly. You manage to climb out of bed but barely make one step and trip on the ground. Uh oh. You got fucked so good you literally can’t walk.

Awakened by the loud thud, Mingyu is by your side in no time.

“What happened?”

“You happened,” you reply truthfully, but you don’t blame him because you brought this upon yourself.

“Oh…” Mingyu understands what you mean. “Did you want to use the toilet?”

“Uh, yeah. Gosh, this is so mortifying.”

You cover your face with your hands.

“I was literally deep inside of you a few hours ago, get over yourself,” Mingyu laughs and lifts you up effortlessly, carrying you to the bathroom.

“Are you gonna stare at me?!” you ask in embarrassment.

“Might as well,” he laughs but gives you some privacy, even though there is no need to be shy after all the things you’ve done together.

After that, he insists on doing everything for you. You tell him you are perfectly capable of brushing your own teeth but nope, Mingyu wants to do that, as well. And honestly? It feels too good to reject.

He even makes breakfast and brings it to bed so you can share it together. As you take the first bite and drink the first sip of coffee for the morning, the feelings come crashing once again. And you start crying even harder than last night.

“Oh, baby, what is it?” Mingyu wants to know, as he brushes your hair behind your ear and wipes your tears.

“N-nothing, you’re just so amazing and kind I feel extremely touched.”

“You do realize this is literally the bare minimum, right?” Mingyu seems shocked. He just made pancakes. It’s not some heroic act, in his humble opinion.

“It’s so rare to find a lovely guy like you, though,” you admit.

“Well, my good girl deserves only the best,” he smiles shyly and kisses your cheek.

You wrap your arms around his neck, grinning wider than ever before.

“Keep talking like that and I’ll want to be good for you forever.”

“I’m counting on it.”

The End

#seventeen #mingyu #svt scenarios #seventeen smut #mingyu smut #seventeen scenarios #mingyu x reader #svt imagines #seventeen imagines #kim mingyu #mingyu imagines #mingyu scenarios #svt hard hours #seventeen hard hours #seventeen x reader #writing

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

say you can't sleep, m | myg

... baby, I know that's that me – espresso by sabrina carpenter

pairing(s): yoongi x reader

summary: Snapshots of a love story centered around coffee and soft skin, heh, isn't that just so suga sweet? Mmmm, I guess so.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; fluff they're cute as fuck; smut (fem reader, fingering + f-receiving oral at work, gasp, doggy, m-receiving oral in a bedroom, whew, penetrative sex); non-idol!BTS – Yoongi's POV except final scene in your POV

--

“You don’t like coffee.”

She handed him the iced Americano with an enigmatic expression.

“But I like you.”

Then she walked away.

-

“Oh? I didn’t expect to see you here.”

He looked up from his lonesome table, fully intending to tell the person to fuck off. It was too late and too dark and too restless for him to even think about socializing. He lifted his head and found himself speechless for several seconds. An enigmatic expression paired with a tight black dress. He took another sip of his whiskey to avoid making the pause awkward.

He caught a whiff of a heavy, rich, coffee-scented perfume.

Then he shrugged.

“Can’t sleep.”

She smiled.

-

“You know her?”

She sat a few tables away, wrapped in a tight black dress. A soft white knitted cardigan draped over her shoulders. Demure with a hint of sex. He recognized those black high heels with gunmetal buckles. They had been tossed carelessly by his door last night. He watched her hands dance in the air with her conversation. The man sitting in front of her seemed mildly interested. Black t-shirt, silver bracelets, faded blue jeans. She rolled her eyes and her lunch companion looked similarly annoyed, shaking his head of straight, long black hair. The waiter went by their table, carrying the handheld kiosk.

She tapped her credit card, already prepared.

The young man whipped his hands out in a what-the-fuck motion.

She shrugged.

Her black velvet purse was tucked in her lap, right above her plush thighs that had been wrapped around his neck last night.

“Better than you do,” he replied, and didn’t elaborate.

-

“I didn’t know you knew him.”

She gave him a confused look.

“Why wouldn’t I know my younger brother?”

Oh.

She handed him the iced Americano with a sly smile.

“But I’ll let him know that you were jealous.”

Fuck.

-

“You don’t have to.”

She took his hand and wrapped it around the cold drink, leaving him with a handful of condensation and consideration.

“I want to.”

She was about to let go but his other hand shot up, enclosing the back of hers. He watched her almost hide the way her breath caught. Her eyes shifted. Those parted lips were picture perfect softness that inspired wet dreams. Her skin was even more perfect up close and in the light. A tick of her eyebrow. He didn’t back down.

“Meet me in front of the café at seven tonight.”

She didn’t hesitate.

“Okay.”

-

Date after date, she wore the same perfume and the same enigmatic smile. Night after night, he stared up at the ceiling, wondering what the fuck he was doing. Day after day, he looked forward to her occasional treat in the form of ice coffee. He admired her audacity to let everyone talk. Both of them deflected the topic when anyone asked. No sense in entertaining unsolicited opinions.

In bed, he closed his eyes and breathed in, remembering the way her soft skin smelled against him.

He was addicted to her perfume.

Then again, he already had a coffee problem so maybe it was all in his head.

-

From across the room, she smiled at him.

He acknowledged her with a nod, sticking his hands in his pockets so they wouldn’t shake.

The eye contact lingered for a moment linger before she turned and walked out the door.

After about ten minutes, he made up some excuse and left too.

-

He kissed the inside of her thigh and looked up.

Her knuckle was against her teeth, biting down lightly, calmly giving him an expression of apprehension and boldness. He cocked his head. She shrugged with one shoulder. He bunched her skirt around her waist.

And stared into her eyes as he licked upwards.

Hot, heavy, and with possessiveness.

She melted against the wall. Lashes fluttering, shivering under him, no sound. Probably because of where they were. The mischief in her eyes glimmered. Her perfect lips formed words both silent and damning.

Keep going.

To be perfectly clear he did not give a fuck about rules, but also he liked his job and didn’t want to get himself fired. Yet. He skimmed his lips over her soft skin and figured that at least it would be a cool story, letting his fingers sink into her shapely hips, toying with the hem of her panties with his thumbs. Her free hand wandered down to hold up her skirt. Helpful. He closed his eyes. Tongue, lips, teeth travelling up in a zig-zag from thigh to thigh. Her coffee-scented perfume faded as the scent of sweet sex prevailed, his index finger skimming over the heat, following the forbidden line.

Absolute silence.

But beneath his lips, her body was singing. Vibrating with pleasure. Pressing her shoulder blades against the wall, rolling her hips towards him. He opened his eyes to see hers under lidded lashes. Slid his finger under, down, the back of his nail drenched, and he pulled it aside, watching her sensual mouth form his name.

He closed his lips around the top and sank two fingers into her pussy.

Fuck, she tasted so good.

The shudder took over him before he could stop it. Delightful shivers as he watched her watch him when he cupped his tongue around her clit. Circling it gently. Coaxing. Slow and steady, admiring the way her slick walls closed in around his fingers. Thrusting deeper. He spread his knees more, wincing as he felt his hardening erection strain against even his loose jeans. She kept her hips still, melting into his momentum, looking hot as hell fully dressed with his mouth as her new accessory. He spied the curl of her pink tongue against the side of her lips. His fingers involuntarily twitched, digging his blunt nails into her thigh. Tongue against nerves. The steady climb to the heavenly high. Quiet breathing becoming labored, his cock aching at the image and taste of sweet evidence.

Her arousal dripping down his throat.

She came to his tongue, pressing the crown of her head against the wall and silently gasping to the ceiling.

No one found out.

At least, Human Resources didn’t let him know they did.

-

He spent a little more time checking out his outfit before leaving his apartment. Bomber jacket, loose shirt, slightly less torn jeans, and his nicest bag, a black leather messenger. Debated on a beanie. Decided against it and took a moment to tie his hair back into a low ponytail. The front pieces were too short to be tied back. He adjusted them in the mirror and out the door he went. Subway and then a short walk. He visited the usual spot, a café by the office, and she was already in line. The cashier seemed to have taken a liking to her, trying to keep her for a few lines of conversation. She either didn’t notice or didn’t care, courteously stepping out of line after she paid and waiting to the side for her order.

He contemplated walking up to her.

This was the first time he had been this early. He was not and never would be a morning person. A lot of the time he had to settle for the shitty coffee from the machine in the break room. He preferred an expert’s hand though, so he did his best to drag himself out of bed to get in line. Big chains had apps to order-and-go, but this was a mom-and-pop store that didn’t have the money for such technology. Honestly, now he was glad about that. A rare occurrence of the universe being on his side.

His gaze must have remained for too long because she looked up from her phone and her head turned, spotting him immediately.

He let his eyes linger when hers did.

A glimmer in her eye. Must be the morning sun. She raised her hand and beckoned him to her.

He stepped out of line and walked up to her.

“I can buy my own coffee, you know.”

The café smelled like stale morning coffee and yet somehow she smelled even better.

“Just let me do this one thing for you, hm?” she smiled.

He didn’t trust himself to respond. Instead, he stood next to her and stuck his hands in his pockets. He noticed several people looking her way but they all quickly reoriented their wandering eyes. It had to have something to do with the way her long black skirt clung to her hips or her courage of wearing a maroon faux fur cropped jacket out in public. Or maybe it was the way her tight black turtleneck clung to her chest.

“You can go on ahead. I’ll drop off the drink for you.”

He half-considered it. Maybe even take a moment to make it obvious for everyone.

Still, he didn’t want to leave.

“I’m still waking up,” he offered as his reply.

They weren’t looking at each other but he was highly aware of her presence next to him. He didn’t sense any discomfort. The café was getting packed. She scooted closer to him as a couple more people moved into the waiting section.

The barista called out her name.

She glided up to the counter. He watched her go, pit-a-pat beating in his chest. Admired every line, the way her hips swayed, the way stray rays of the sunrise made her hair glow. Watched her turn around in slow-motion mental cinema, raising her head, their eyes connecting, the corner of her lips rising when she saw him waiting for her.

She held out the iced Americano.

“Careful, someone might think we’re an item.”

He reached out and let his fingers graze her wrist.

“I think someone already does.”

He was talking about himself but he didn’t miss the pleasure in her eyes when the exchange happened.

-

She was a menace every time.

“I’m going to make sure you’ll need caffeine tomorrow,” she mused out loud.

He raised an eyebrow.

“And how are you going to do that?”

He somewhat regretted asking that.

-

The room was pitch black.

“You still up?”

The presence beside him shifted, facing him, but he wouldn’t be able to see even if he opened his eyes. He didn’t need to though. He knew the way the blanket draped over her arm, exposing the corner of her shoulder, her hair cascading over her neck covered in his invisible kisses and light bites. Her arm over her breasts as she adjusted her hand just under the pillow. The blanket dipped a bit further down the bed, then rose up sharply at her hips.

“Sorry if I seem restless,” she whispered. “I have insomnia sometimes.”

He had offered before, but she hadn’t accepted until tonight. He wasn’t sure what had made her change her mind.

“Me too,” he confessed. “I take a long time to fall asleep.”

Her voice was feathery and soft. Not pitched to act younger or be more appealing. True to who she was and where she was in her life. Her coffee-scented perfume reflected that as well. Dark and smokey and acidic. Full-bodied in every sense of the word. He heard amusement in her soothing voice as she spoke.

“That’s a very polite way of admitting that you’re nervous of the pretty girl in your bed being a closeted psychopath and smothering you in your sleep before taking all of your valuables and skipping town.”

He smiled.

“Don’t worry, I know all pretty girls are psychopaths.”

She laughed. “Won’t fall for my tricks then, hm?”

“I might if you actually tried some of yours on me.”

There was a pause in her breathing. A single flutter of butterfly wings, so slight he almost thought he imagined it.

“You think so?”

He kept telling himself he wouldn’t, but deep down he knew he would.

“Yeah,” he murmured, noncommittal.

There was a pungent silence.

Then he felt her warmth closer. Closer. Warm exhale tickling his shoulder. Her hand settled on his arm. A whirlwind of thoughts. He had always thought, oh, it would be annoying. It would be heedlessly complicated. It would die out quick. And, ultimately, it would be fleeting and unfulfilling.

Like a shooting star during a meteor shower.

“You’re something else, Min Yoongi.”

Meaningless was it was, he found himself making a wish as the weight of sleep swept him away.

-

Of course, he was scared.

Of course, he wasn’t going to acknowledge it or show it. People were fickle, complicated creatures that spent lifetimes trying to explain themselves to no avail. He was one of them. He had long ago accepted that he was part of the problem. Likewise, he accepted that he would never understand. He wasn’t about to encroach on the millennia of human philosophy and twist his brain trying to make sense of it all.

“I should leave.”

Best he could do was write some songs about it.

“Sit,” he commanded in his most inviting tone.

Better not to think about it too much.

He looked away from the stove for a moment to see the unsure shift of her eyes and the hesitation of her parted lips. “I wouldn’t want to intrude.” She lifted her gaze.

He held it, but only for a second.

Any longer would have been too telling.

He turned back to the pan and replied with, “You cannot possibly think I’m that rude to kick you out before breakfast. Sit.”

Thinking about it too much would ruin it, anyway. It would make it less true. Convoluted. Muddled by past experiences and endless doubts. He refused to let that happen. He lifted the frying pan, tipping the fried egg onto the freshly made white rice. Set the pan down. Turned around with the bowl in hand, setting it on the counter in front of the barstool next to a small plate of his mother’s kimchi. He saw her hesitate once more. Maybe it was his imagination, or was that a flush of pink at the tops of her cheeks? He pulled out a drawer and added a pair of chopsticks by the bowl. Didn’t take his eyes off her movements.

She reached out and pulled out the barstool, sliding onto the brown leather.

Bowed her head to hide her smile.

“Thanks for the food.”

Yoongi silently let out the breath he had been holding.

-

Just before she walked out his door, she leaned in and kissed him.

She drew back.

“See you.”

He stepped forward and pulled her into a longer kiss.

“See you,” he breathed, missing her already.

-

He couldn’t look at he when she smiled.

Even as the corner of his mouth lifted and his teeth sank into the side of his lower lip.

Dark, smokey, acidic.

Her perfume was so familiar now. It settled into his palette, embellishing the dreamlike image. His hands rested on her waist, fingertips drumming against soft skin. Her fingers danced up his sternum and her lips hovered by his. Breath to breath. Her other palm on his chest. Hips to hips. The moment lingered. Almost to the point of discomfort, and then she leaned in and pressed her lips to his.

He wondered if he tasted like coffee.

The kiss melted into him. Warmth rushed all over his body. He should be used to it and yet he fell back under her spell. Under her kisses over his face and neck, under her insistent touch. He dug his nails into her back. She matched him, but harder, rougher, her tongue slipping into his moaning mouth as she scratched him up. Perhaps it was a perverted satisfaction but he rather enjoyed knowing that his pale skin would be marred in pink lines of passion. He didn’t want to be precious about it.

She straddled him and pressed her panties into his erection.

He griped her waist and kissed her harder.

-

He enjoyed it when she slipped her arm in his as they walked side by side. He enjoyed watching passerby glance at them with envy, especially when her head leaned against his shoulder. He enjoyed it when she tugged him to her and caught his lips possessively. He didn’t know when he stopped hiding the smile he had when around her. He didn’t know when he stopped wanting to be alone in his free time and instead wanted to fill it with her coffee-scented perfume. He used to work late all the time because there was nothing better to do, but lately there was a better reason to ditch his responsibilities.

It was careless but such was life.

Heh.

He loved to watch her face, and yet there was something about watching her back arch and her fingers curl into the sheets. Something about his hands gripping her hips and driving himself deeper. Something about the image of her ass and thighs bouncing with each forceful smack of body-to-body contact. Just something about it. Tight, wet, hot, closing his eyes and tipping his head back, dragging his nails down her spine, feeling her match his pace. He enjoyed fucking as much as the next guy. This was simply different.

Something about her, maybe.

She threw her head back, her visceral sounds music to his ears, pleasure incarnate, and he could feel each wave threaten to drag him under, into the permanent honeymoon haze. He let it take him, gasping, surrendering, wanting it again already. She moaned with him, clutching his pillows into a jumbled mess.

Fuck, so good.

One shared look.

To be honest, he was proud of the number of used condoms that piled up.

-

“A candle?”

She lifted the heavy glass lid and inhaled. Her eyes widened, sparkling with recognition and delight.

He stated the obvious. “It’s coffee-scented.”

“I love the scent of coffee,” she murmured. He already knew that. “You remember.”

He half-smiled. “Isn’t that your excuse for always getting me one? You like the scent but you don’t drink it?” He couldn’t help but tease.

She gave him a mischievous smirk. “Trying to throw me off your scent? It won’t work.”

He sure as fuck hoped it didn’t. “I’m trying to convince you to stop buying those expensive iced Americanos for me. I’m trying to cut down for my health.”

She frowned. But he shook his head, trying to dissipate any misunderstanding.

“Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t come up with the idea. My doctor did.”

Her gaze narrowed, unconvinced.

He shoved his hands back into his pockets so they would stop shaking. There was no bag or awkward gift wrapping for him to hold on to. It wasn’t his style, but he somewhat regretted it now. He tiled his head, relaxing his face despite the thunder within his ribcage.

“What?”

She replaced the lid of the candle. Her thumb ran across the embossed characters on the paper label. Capitalism had burned a hole in his wallet. He didn’t mind though. She held it close to her chest.

“This is an expensive brand. I’ve seen it at higher end stores.”

He was delighted that she knew. The cheaper brands had smelled far too fake and far too sweet. He wanted that rich bitterness. Dark and smokey and acidic. A scent that reminded him of them. She watched him carefully. He shrugged.

“You get what you pay for.” Chuckled, raising an eyebrow slightly. “Fair, once I considered the culmination of the price of all those coffees. And, anyway, I only wanted you to know that you don’t have to pay a price for my attention. You’ve had it all this time.”

Her eyes widened a bit.

He shifted his weight, about to walk past.

At the last second, he turned his head, pausing to whisper in her ear.

“But don’t think about buying anyone else a coffee, alright?”

Before he could make his escape, her eyes were already locked onto his, her lips centimeters from his.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Min Yoongi.”

-

“What?”

She grinned. Their hands interlocked. Holding tight, even though his back was flat against her bed. Her body hovered over his. She lowered, slowly. He sucked in a breath as he felt her hard nipples brush against his chest.

“You like that?” she teased.

He stared into her eyes, melting into her mischief. “Yeah.”

She pressed her soft breasts flush against him, rubbing back and forth. He closed his eyes, shuddering, her name in his throat. His other hand migrated to her waist and he squeezed her, wanting her to know his desire. Her coffee-scented perfume stuck to his skin, bitter and sweet and addictive, a guilty pleasure he didn’t feel guilty about.

His doctor had advised him to cut back on coffee and alcohol, his other guilty pleasures, so naturally he found himself tangled up in another.

Heh.

His fingers slid up, up, tangling in her hair, pulling her face to his. There was a split second where their eye lines connected under their lashes, and he froze up. She stared back. Centimeters of trembling air between their lips. His entire body could barely contain the want and yet. It wasn’t the first time they had been this close. Far from it.

But this was the first time Yoongi realized he would move heaven and earth for those eyes.

He squeezed her hand.

She squeezed back and closed the distance between them, her eyelids falling. His too, and he realized there was sex and then there was this. This, the goosebumps that erupted over his skin when her fingertips glided down his arm. This, the chain of kisses leaving him in a daze. This, the delicate shock of her lips travelling down his chest. This, the pit-a-pat and pang of something so dirty being so pure. Her mouth enveloped him and coated his cock with a thin layer of velvety saliva. Back and forth, so soft, just right, building a lovely desperation that he savored. Tighter, and he gasped, marveling at the suffocating gentleness that made him painfully hard. Pace so steady it was nearly maddening, his fingers twisting in the sheets, and he sucked in another breath, the air saturated with her scent, hitting the apex and at the same time falling so fully that he couldn’t hide it anymore.

She kept him hard, knowing the precise amount of softness and insistence. He didn’t need to say anything. She thought about him the same way he thought about her. Her hands fanned over his hips, extending the pleasure of orgasm. His exhale a shudder. Their eyes connected again.

He beckoned her back up, breathlessly.

She obeyed. Skin to skin. His fingertips touched her chin, conducting her movement.

He could taste himself in their kiss.

“You like that?” he whispered to her lips.

She smiled against his. “Yeah.”

One torn-open condom wrapper later, and there was nothing better than her legs wrapping around his waist once he was completely inside. Shivering breath, his fingertips grazing over her collarbones, and he was well aware of his own black hair tangled over his eyes. She looked up at with admiration and satisfaction, tightening around him.

“You should come over to mine tomorrow night. Spend the weekend with me,” he found himself saying.

Her expression amused. “Wouldn’t want to get you in trouble with your landlord.”

He pushed his hair back, cleaning his vision.

“Let that be my problem.”

Her eyes sparkled.

“I’ll think about it.”

Seemed like she already had though.

Slow and tense, leaning down. Deeper. Her legs sliding up, tighter. Each breath drawn in hotter, keeping their electric eye contact, and he lifted one of his hands to wrap around her wrist. She watched him, intrigued. He thrust downwards and she squeezed him all around, meeting his pace, their eyes closing, succumbing to the honeymoon haze in harmony, their wanton sounds melding together like sugar into coffee. Harder. Rougher. Her name falling from his lips and his from hers. His grip on her wrist slipped.

Their fingers interlocked.

He kept the high coming, over and over.

-

The room was pitch black.

“Can’t sleep?”

He stretched his arm over his head. His body was still running hot.

“Don’t want to.”

She hummed. “Why’s that?”

He should sleep but that would tear him out of this dream. “Pretty girl giving me insomnia.”

“Damn. Wish I could help,” she chuckled, curling up against his side.

He hadn’t known it when she walked into his life, light glimmering off her hair and adorned with a sweet smile. Day by day, catching himself watching her walk past. He admired the confident way she held herself, the assuredness in her stride, the sharpness of her wit. Then one day, the morning after a particularly restless night, she had walked right up to him, an iced Americano in hand. She had known his preference. Could have been observation or asking around. Or both. Didn’t matter, as it was clear she took the time and noticed his lingering gaze.

“Why me?”

Her soft cheek against his shoulder.

“You know why.”

He did but he still wanted to make sure. “You weren’t scared?”

She took a moment to recall. “Worst thing you can say is no. You didn’t.”

He turned his head. She scooted up, and now they were looking at each other in the darkness. He couldn’t see shit, but he had already memorized her face in moments, in snapshots of closeness, into dreams he couldn’t help but believe in. She brought her face closer and their lips found each other with him meeting her halfway.

He pulled her closer.

Yoongi had always believed, oh, love would be annoying. Love would be heedlessly complicated. Love would die out quick and, ultimately, be fleeting and unfulfilling, like a shooting star during a meteor shower. And maybe it was all that.

But he could also be wrong.

Kiss after kiss, falling stars in the darkness, and he couldn’t help but believe in wishes.

Maybe he was just too far gone. Too under her spell to be logical anymore. Her leg slid over his hip, their bodies seamlessly against each other and her hand cradled his face, breathing in his air. Her perfume still lingered, dark and smokey and reminding him of how this love started, or perhaps it had rubbed off onto his skin in their passion. He didn’t mind. In fact, he preferred it.

“Don’t think about anyone else, alright?” she whispered.

His hand settled around her waist.

His lips touched her nose. Lightly, endearingly. Didn’t she know? She must. Maybe she wanted to hear it from his lips. He didn’t know the romantic thing to say. He was terrible at that. Always was, always would be. Then again, she had already given him the answer.

He smiled.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, darling.”

-

“Iced Americano. The largest size, please.”

The barista smiled sheepishly. “Busy day?”

You tilted your head, a stray strand of hair curling around your curved lips.

“My darling needs it.”

--

masterpost

#yoongi x reader #bts smut #yoongi x you #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi x you #min yoongi smut

[dontbesadsanaexist]

𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬

Danceteacher!momo x Trainee!fem!reader

Warnings: bad language, mouth fucking, cunnulingus, smut, mention of sex, choking, friends?withbenefits

Word count: 3.4k

Summary: Momo has always acted weird towards you. Treating you more harshly than the other trainees. But what can possibly happen in an empty building, at night, when you started to show your brat side?

Nda: sorry I suck at summarizing 🫡🫡 (I promise the story is better)

*★*―――*★**★*―――*★**★*―――*★*

"Start again."

The music coming from the speakers was loud. Your body sweaty, clothes almost drenched. A few lights illuminated the room as opposed to the dark corridors that you could only see thanks to the half-opened door. One of them was flashing.

It's okay, your agence never put in much efforts for their groups anyway, always buying the bare minimum.

Your body moved on his own, despite the obvious tiredness visible on your face. Your movements almost reached perfection but still,

There she was with her angry face.

You stopped yourself when the sounds stopped. The dance practice room went silent again. A glance at her let you know that she was the one who paused the music.

"Same mistake, start again."

Your throat almost burned by the desire to say something. It's been hours since it started. You felt like you would never see the end, because there was nothing to change. You came to thought that she had a wicked pleasure to make you stay, knowing you couldn't say anything.

She tapped on her phone's screen. You didn't have time to recover. Your ears are sick of hearing the same sounds again and again. Your eyes dared to close, but you promise your leader you would thew few mistakes you make, so you didn't let that happen. Instead, you restarted the same choreography.

A exasperated sigh left her lips as you almost trip on your own laces. It must have come undone during the training.

"Are you going to dance properly or should I already ask you manager to add hours for you at the end of every training day?"

"But I dance properly!"

Oups, came out on its own.

Your frustration and stress accumulated during the day heard in your replied. You didn't want to sound so disrespectful, but it was just too much. Watching all of your members leave just to stay here and make extra practice until you felt sweat slide down your body, no thanks you, if you could you would have gladly pass the offer.

"Excuse me?"

The next things coming out of your mouth were completely unexpected.

"Seriously, it's been like 4 hours since we started and you're still here saying there's something to fix when there obviously isn't."

At first she just seemed shocked by your sudden switch of behavior. But then, then, she aggressively slammed her phone on the table near her and tapped her right foot on the floor, corner of the lips trembling with angryness.

"Because you thought that i wanted to be here in the first place? Losing my time and sleep for a girl that can't reproduce a simple fucking dance?"

Okay, you had made her more angry that she already was.

"I never asked for extra help."

"See, that's your second problem. You need extra help. You suck at dancing. Everyone see it except you."

Ouch, it hurts. I mean, it would have hurt a lot more if it wasn't for your tiredness and growing angryness clouding your mind with thoughts you would never come across before. And you knew she was lying. She just saw you progress and had too much pride to admit that she was wrong. So now she put all the problem on your shoulders, and just expects you to go with it. That's what you thought, though.

You knew it wasn't true. But your fists clenched on their owns and your eyes watered. You weren't the sensible type but it was 10 p.m and you were just so done with it.

A thought crossed your mind, and your mouth was quicker to speak than you had time to comprehend what you were about to say.

"At least I've never been fired because I was too lazy to practice!"

She was shocked.

She definitely was.

Not by what you said, but by your sudden brattiness. You got some nerves to speak to her like that. She was at least 6 years older than you plus your dance teacher. She literally accepted to help you even though she was forced, but still. How dare you?

Something occurred. You heard an annoyed sound coming from her mouth then she walked towards you. A firm and straight walk. When she arrived at your level she didn't even dared to stop. She just grabbed your wrist, and dragged you with her.

She was walking way too fast. You were struggling to keep up the pace.

The entire building was empty. And since Momo had turned the lights of the room off you were both moving in the dark with, as only lighting, the flash coming from her phone. You soon arrived at a sliding door. You quickly read the inscription marked on it.

Bathroom, ladies only.

She forced you in it and harshly closed the door, creating a loud thump resonating inside.

"What are we doing here?" You dared to ask. She tilted her head to the side as if the respond was obvious.

"Do you think the way you talked to me back earlier was appropriate? Don't you think you need a little something to remind you that I am the idol here, that you're nothing but a trainee?"

She took you by the shoulders and made you enter an empty stall.

You were surely about to protest, if it wasn't for her to push you roughly on the wall. You let out a small whimper of pain and you hand came resting on you back where the impact has been made.

(You see, if anyone ever read that without context, they will surely be confused as to why she was so comfortable with touching you this way, if you were a trainee like the others. But the thing is, you weren't. To her eyes, you weren't just a simple trainee.

Let me explain:

The relationship that you and Momo shared was beyond weird. Everything started in the manager's office. You didn't even remember what you were doing here, nor how it happened. But one second, you were with momo waiting for him to arrive, and the next, your were against the desk, kissing her.

At first, it was simple make outs. In the bathroom or an empty closet, she was usually the one who initiated them. But then, it started to take a more serious turn. You would find yourself in her apartment when Nayeon was away. Or sometimes it was at your dorm (which was very risky but you both didn't care).

The first hook up was supposed to be the last one, in your head. That's what you told yourself at the end of every session. But she always finds a way to make you fall in her trap. I mean, who can resist the gorgeous and hot woman that Momo is?

The excuses that you would tell the girls from you dorm to go out were piling up, and the minutes spending with Momo were gradually transformed into hours. Hours of doing nothing but pure fucking.

But of course, you were coming after her career. That's why in Jyp's buildings, she was ignoring you. Like, completely ignoring you. She didn't even bother to throw a single glance at you. You understand how she remained clinging to her image, even though you were a bit disappointed that you were traited like any other trainee.

The only thing you didn't understand was the way she acted when you make a mistake. With the other girls from your group, she would just show them the correct movement. But with you, she would just look at you, and expect you to get the right move on your own. And when you didn't, it frustrated her. To a point where she would be so irritated she would just complains about you to your manager, as if it was your fault. And right now, it was one of those moment. But instead of calling the number she knows so well from you, she decided to take care of the problem on her own.)

You jaw ached when she grabbed it firmly to make you look at her. "So, what are you gonna do know hm? Are you gonna keep responding ? I can let you go if you politely apologize to me."

You looked at her dead in the eyes. You could apologize. But you're certainly not going to do that. She irritated you too much and you weren't going to let go of your pride.

"Go to hell." Your respond left even though she pressed your cheeks together making difficult for you to talk. Your hands tried to push her arm away, and that only made her grip on you stronger, to the point it started to hurt. Like really hurt.

She huffed as she expected an apoligize. She didn't think for you to put such an attitude towards her. Usually, you would obey her every command, like the good little trainee you were. This, this was none of that. And she didn't like it.

Your eyes landed on her other hand, which was going way too close to your face to your liking. Then, you felt two of her fingers pressing against your lips. You immediately sealed your mouth, without even knowing what she was going to do next. Of course, you could just submit to her, like always. But your pride was way too big for that.

"Open your mouth."

Her command felt harshful. You tried to shock your head as no, but she didn't take that as a respond. She forced past your entrance and the next thing you know, two of her fingers were deep in your mouth, almost reaching your throat.

Now your hands were desesperatly trying to get her grip off of you. You felt her fingers retired completely, just to push back in with full force.

And in continued like this.

Her digits reaching the far back of your throat.

Her breathing on your ear made you close your eyes tightly. "Isn't that a good idea? Fucking your mouth will make you learn how to shut it like how it's supposed to be."

Her deep chuckle when she heard you chocke send a shiver down your spine.

Each time her fingers would push in, spit would dripped down your mouth making a complete mess on your chin and neck.

It felt like hours before her mistrations stopped, which left you caughing with a hand rubbing your aching throat.

Momo smiled at your state. Her fingers were covered in your drool, almost reaching her wrist. She took you aback when she pushed your shoulders on the wall, her fingers replaced with her lips.

Your whines of rejection could be heard in the room which weren't really of rejection but you couldn't let her know she turned you on. Your nails digged them self on her shoulders to try and hurt her. But she didn't care really. A little girl like you isn't going to do much against her anyway.

She kissed you deeply, swallowing your whines and parting your lips. Just like before, you felt something slipping in your mouth. A wet, warm thing.

The feeling of her tongue against your own made you release a small whimper. The kiss left you breathless and panting, like every time you were alone with her.

"Enjoying it?" She teased you, but it wasn't funny for you. Your mouth opened to say something but she beat you to it.

"I didn't think you would be such a brat today. What happened to my good girl? That attitude you pulled me earlier has put you in so many troubles..."

She didn't let you respond. She never. Her hand wrapped around you neck and you felt a pressure on your throat, choking you a bit.

"How should I punish you? I've got so many ideas in mind..."

Okay, now your body was... betraying you.

A sudden wave of heat arose in your body at the thought of her touches. You didn't want to let her notice that the way she talked to you made your panties soaked, but at the same time the ache between your legs was starting to be bothering. You refused the thought of taking care of the problem yourself later in your bed. Her doing it for your was a better idea. And you know what, fuck it.

Your hands stopped trying to get her away from you, and instead, grab her waist and brought her closer. Momo looked at you with a confuse look. Your behavior was indeed weird.

"What it is n-"

"Kiss me"

Your request was followed by a small please that even you could barely hear. Her lips slowly turned into a smile, and she was quick to catch your mouth with her own. The previous painful pressure on your neck feels now deliciously pleasuring

The kiss felt even better than the one before now that you fully enjoy it. Her rosy lips that you would stare at so many times were now moving against yours, creating a delicious pressure.

"Didn't you want to punish me or something ?" You dared to ask her as your bratness was showing again.

"Just shut up please."

The wet sounds of lips touching each other echoed in the purple bathroom stall, such as small sighs of pleasure. You two would parted away from time to time, getting the minimum of oxygen in your lungs before diving into the other's warmth again.

Before everything started, a kiss from her would've been enough to make you melt in place. But now you had all freedom to do whatever you wanted, and your fingers tingled with the desire of more. Your hand slipped on the skin of her neck to her nape, before being stopped by a firm grip on your wrist.

Momo pushed her lips away from yours. A string of saliva connected your mouths for barely a second. She was glad to see her lipstick embellished the lower part of your face, the color suited you better, especially with those swollen lips of yours.

She observered you.

How your would bite your bottom lip, cheeks blushed by the lack of air. How your carbage would move up and down, breathlessly. The way you were shamlessly eye-fucking her, thigh clenching together. God, what a sigh.

The succeed in making you go from a brat to a mess had increased her ego. Her hand wandered around your face, thumb caressing your bottom lip and slightly playing with it. Her lips touched your cheeks, and traveled lower. The hand she wasn't holding immediately attached to her hair and pulled her locks as soon as you felt her warm breath on your neck. Of course everybody would be able to see all the marks she leaves on you, but she didn't care really. It's not like she's the one who is risking a futur career.

You sighed blissfully as she bit your neck, making your nails dig into her skull. Her hands were quick to undo your sweat pants, sliding it down and making you shiver from the cold air due to the lack of heating in the building. She tugged your T-shirt up and stuck it in your bra, not even bothering to remove it.

"Oh, look at this." Momo rapidly noticed the wet spot on your panties that you were desperately trying to hide, even though you couldn't.

She hummed in satisfaction and brushed her fingers softly against the frabric, before pulling it harshly towards her. The sudden movement made you yelp as you hands pushed her shoulders, but she was way stronger, and the grip she had on your thighs stopped you from whatever you were trying to do.

"Let's do this. I'm gonna eat you out. If you cum before I say you can it'll be the last time for 2 weeks, okay?" She asked, which basically wasn't even a question but more of an order.

Her being so bold had definitely done something to you. You nodded your head, wanting her to hurry up and ease the feeling you had that started to overwhelm you. She dropped a small peck on your lips, making your dizzy, and proceeded to kneel down. One swift movement and your panties were gone, letting her a full view of your dripping arousal. She placed your legs on her shoulders and her hands on your waist for support. That position could be quiet uncomfortable but not for Momo, thanks to the hours spending at the gym she found you rather light.

You whined as the only friction she gave you was marking you thighs.

"Momo don't do t-" Momo glaring at you was enough to shut you up and take whatever she wanted to give you. You're not in a position to protest anything, and she was already furious at you for thinking you could talk back.

She continued kissing your flesh for a minute, before her breath change place and she blew hot air on your wet crotch. You tried to squirm but couldn't move much because of the hard grip she had on your waist. Another whine almost came out of your throat, until you felt the tip of her tongue against your folds and instead you whimpered her name. Your hand gripped the toilet paper dispenser. The edges of it were rounded so you couldn't really hold on to it but it was still better than nothing.

Momo took your clit between her lips and slowly suck it. Your eyes closed instantly as you felt the pleasure starting to consume you. Her touch were so gentle it was almost torturing. Your body enveloped in a warmth that increased your desire for more. As if they had come to life, your thighs started to buck against Momo's mouth. It was miserable how you were practically rutting on her face.

Momo release your clit from her lips and let her tongue travel lower, until it was right in front of your entrance. Your hand grabbed her hair as soon as you felt her tongue slip inside of you. "S-shit Momo... Momo!" You chanted, too focused on the way she was moving, tasting you, to care about your volume.

Her hands withdrew from your waist to grab your thigh instead, guiding you on her tongue. Your hand runs through her dark hair. You attempted to push her even closer, even deeper inside you.

The flick of her tongue against that one particular spot made your hand involuntarily grasp her hair fiercely. She released a deep groan in your core at the death grip you had on her, creating vibrations that ascended up your mouth and turned into a loud sob.

Your walls clenched firmly around her tongue, your clit throbbing continually as the tip of her nose pressed against it.

You opened your eyes all of a sudden as you felt that your climax was near. Your stomach tighten, you knuckles turned white at the hold you had on the dispenser. When you looked down, you saw a version of Momo only you could (probably) ever see.

Her eyes were tight shut. Her mouth and chin covered with your arousal. Her rosy cheeks could suggest that she was the one having an orgasm. You bet she was enjoying it as much as you do.

She reopened her eyes, meeting your pleading gaze. "Please..." was the only thing understandable you could let out between broken cries and incoherent words. You were at the verge of crying. Your orgasm was just so closed.

Momo didn't seem to be affected by your desperate state. Because as soon as she felt your legs started trembling she pushed her head away, leaving you all confused and bothered. She wiped the mess you made on her face with her sleeve and stood up.

You have returned to an almost normal state when she turned the lock of the bathroom stall's door open.

"W-wait Momo y-you said-"

"I said I would allow you to cum if I felt like it. Which I don't really. So... Guess it's for next time?"

She stepped out of the stall and took a last look at your condition. You were on the floor, eyes watered, cheeks wet and red. She gave you a brief smirk before adding one last thing. "If you're not in the dance room in 10 minutes, I'll let your manager know about your very, very, bad behavior."

She was now completely gone. You were crying, sobbing and sniffing in your arms. She left you all alone, leaving you just enough time to put your clothes back on. This was so unfair. You did everything she told you to. She was ruthless! She took time to build up your pleasure just to leave at the end, making the denied orgasm even more painful.

You were too tired to keep crying, and also a bit afraid of Momo's threat. So you just stood up, cleaned yourself and get yourself dress again. Half an hour left before you could head back to your dorm. And it promised to be long...

*★*―――*★**★*―――*★**★*―――*★*

#Twice #Momo #Smut #Jyp #Nayeon #Sana #Tzuyu #Jihyo #Jeongyeon #Chaeyoung #Mina #Dahyun #momo smut #Top!Momo #😵‍💫😵‍💫

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU part 64

part 1 | part 63 | tumblr masterlist | ao3

cw: angst, big gooey feelings

—

When Steve gets back to the boathouse, Eddie’s shaking like a leaf; has to touch Steve like a blind man, pat his hands all over his face and down his arms and across his chest. “Know I’ve— got no right to a-ask this of you,” he says through chattering teeth, “but… would you—?”

…Goddammit.

“Get over here,” Steve says. He draws Eddie into him; squeezes as hard as he can, one arm around Eddie’s waist, the other cupping the back of his neck — skin to skin beneath a mess of matted hair.

He says nothing.

There are things he could say; probably should say right now — things like ‘you tried to kill me’ or ‘I almost let you,’ or ‘you just left without saying anything, Eddie, how could you do that?’ — but it feels like treating a wasp sting when someone else needs a tourniquet.

Eventually, the shivering stops.

Eddie pulls back with a bashful expression. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

They move to sit down on the floor — side by side, shoulders touching, toes over the edge of the hole in the floorboards. The water moves like ink beneath them, and Eddie looks so beautiful it makes Steve want to die. His hands twitch at his sides, the small, lovesick part of him begging to know why they stopped touching; wants so desperately to press his fingers to the dark circles under Eddie’s eyes. To sink them into his hair and never let go again.

Even though Eddie doesn’t want that.

Even though he left.

Pain zips behind Steve’s eyelids like lightning, leaves the taste of copper on the back of his scorched tongue. He reaches up and pulls his hair — sharp at the root; needs the distraction. Can’t let himself think about his stupid heart right now.

Whatever, or whoever, this Vecna thing is, Steve knows it feeds on grief. Feasts on it; scents sadness in the water like a shark chasing blood. He can’t just swim into the ocean and cut himself for sport. Not unless he wants to end up like Chrissy.

Eddie opens his mouth and offers Steve another knife. “You can say it, you know.”

His tone is gentle; probing — eyes earnest, chin tucked.

“Say what?”

“Ohh, y’know.” Eddie puts his chin in his hand; clucks his tongue. “Whatever’s got you all, uh…” He furrows his brow and pokes his tongue into his cheek, licking back and forth over the smooth skin inside. “I can take it.”

Steve schools his expression. “What if I don’t want to say anything to you?” It’s quiet. Level. Less heat than he intended.

Eddie’s hand comes up to his heart. Chin dipping lower, psychic damage sincerity in his ridiculous Bambi eyes, he locks Steve into his gaze.

Holds him there.

Holds him; nearly makes him squirm.

“Then I’d say I deserve that, too.”

The faintest flicker of a smile; a spark of flint in a pitch black room.

Steve can’t help but catch the flame.

His lips land on Eddie’s with all the delicacy he can manage, hummingbird wings beating away inside his chest. The kiss is soft. Almost timid. Fucking perfect when Eddie starts kissing him back; just feels right; memory slotting into place after weeks of amnesia. Fervent noises, pressing harder, every movement like an oath, Steve pours himself into Eddie — gets his hands back under his hair, tangles his fingers behind his neck and nestles his thumbs in the hollows behind Eddie’s ears. Lets himself come home.

Eddie pulls back enough to whisper, “Jesus Christ, I missed you.”

It’s the wrong thing to say.

They both feel it — the bubble bursting. The prolonged whine of a balloon deflating to the floor.

Steve slips from the embrace, hugging his arms around his legs, listening to their harsh breaths in the stale hush that follows.

Eddie mirrors his pose. Taps his fist against the top of his other hand, rings clacking. “Shit, Steve,” he sighs. “I’m sorry. I’m— I’m so fucking sorry. For all of it. For everything.”

“It’s fine,” Steve lies.

It isn’t.

Nothing ever is, these days.

—

tag list in separate reblogs under '#trailer park steve au taglist' if you'd like to filter that content. if you want to be added please comment and let me know (must be over 21; please either verify in the comment or have your age visible on your blog)

#trailer park steve au #steddie #steddie fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #my writing #my fic

[b4kuch1n]

1/ true to luner new year tradition I've caught a cold after finally getting home and being able to unclench my cheeks. minor one probably so its just gonna be very annoying for a while 2/also true to luner new year tradition I've jumped into something new with No preamble so. hopefully I get this one done fast and we have a 12pg scribbly comic on hand 3/ I'm on bluesky now. do not ask abt what Ive been posting on there u will see

#bakuspeech #one small thing I can tell u rn is. the comic is a fancomic. if ur on my bsky u will probably know of what #listen. every few years I'll return to my roots like this. idk why Im trying to excuse myself or something I can do what I want forever #probably first sign of me not feeling Perfect yesterday was me drawing on my current tablet with. the previous one's stylus #and complaining Out Loud that the pressure was. not fully fucked? but Really weird. a whole stylus of a different color in my hand #sketch comms will still be fulfilled inbetween and after drawing this! but ngl I wanna be on my full faculty for that. it requires a lot of #quick thinking and problem solving that I dont think I can manage with a cold #well. more like if I'm not on my best mind I get frozen up and do Very boring things bc it feels safer #and with sketch comms I feel like that betrays the sentiment of it #we were doing good work. we gotta do right by each others #anyways! anyways. I'll treat myself to this comic for a bit. not even gonna draw much bgs for it lol I wanna test a technique #learned it from my friend truc... always wanted to figure it out since I saw it #stay tuned!! have a good day!!! enjoy hot drink!!!!

[bitegore]

god i really forgot that every business management professor specifically is the most unpleasant human being alive for no good reason. i have two business classes with like econ and accounting professors respectively and those look fine and then oh my god if i have to go back to this class with this professor i think i might actually kill myself

#red rambles #she's not. *mean*. she is. um. fucking. i think condescendiing is the word #she made us do a kahoot in class on questions we didn't know explicitly because she knew we didn't know them. i hate kahoots #she went through the syllabus like we were children which. fine whatever every professor does that it's why i hate the first class #but she also kept going off topic to give us life advice. never give me life advice ill fucking kill you #im really not sure what else was my fucking problem but i genuinely felt like i was being psychologically tortured #also i have done one of the several assignments for the class already and they're babyshit but its going to be one of my most #busywork heavy classes and she wants us doing discussion questions every fucking week #and i have to download yet another fucking app for her class #and i need it for my degree plan but oh my GOD. i need to get the fuck out of it #im gonna try and find a different session of the class taught by a different professor and switch in #do you know how much i have to hate a class if im willing to eat two entire finished homework assignments to get out of it #eta. i take it with this professor or i take it with a different professor i know and already know i cant stand #who is also going to work us like dogs unlike this prof who is going to apparently treat us like we are 14 years old #i guess its not college if i'm not being forced to experience psychological torment for an hour and a half every couple days lol #ill just have to like eat something before that class and do my best to fortify myself before i go in and turn evil

[dyketubbo]

oh also this is mostly so it can go down on record but clarification with the note abt shipping in my intro post abt not minding shipping unless its done with jaiden: i still consider qprs to be shipping as i always have because theyre still intimate relationships that you dont just like.. have with just anybodu. but if you see (ic) roier and jaiden as qprs i dont mind since they have iirc called themselves partners just not married/romantic. so while qprs are still shipping to me nonetheless since its pretty close to what theyve described themselves as in canon queerplatonic roier and jaiden enjoyers are fine by me

#also in part saying this because ill be honest im still like. affected by what the qpe techza drama did to me #i genuinely still get anxious and like. i dont know i start having a genuine trauma reaction when i think about #how people treated me because of that. all bc i said i saw qprs as shipping and wanted people to think more critically #about how they depicted and talked about qprs and how people would treat qprs as a way to get around shipping boundaries #and how all the people who shoved that stupid fucking clip in my face clearly didnt give a shit aboht listening to me #or even gave an actual shit about qprs. because not a single one of them pointed out how shit the explanation was for that dono #im forever grateful phil researched it on his own and came to his conclusion based off that research #and i forever fucking hate every single person who treated me like shit and genuinely saw no problem with acting like #'platonic soulmate headcanons' was the best way to describe qprs #fuck everyone who treated me like shit for saying qprs are shipping #fuck everyone who spread misinfo and claimed *i* was the one saying qprs are 'just friends' #fuck everyone who cared more about proving a point and having their little white mlm ship #than actually fucking listening to me and the others who were desperately trying to get qprs to be treated seriously #because i can fucking assure you the people i saw did not treat them seriously. not at fucking all. all it was to them was romance /p #and thats disgusting and i hope the qpr roier and jaiden people are better. please be better. and please respect me about this #thank you #mask mews #qsmp #roier #jaiden

[drev-the-procrastinator]

love waking up to my mom giving me an ultimatum and ordering that i have to give up my (admittedly expensive) apartment 1n 2 weeks and move back home for good. i had stuff to do today but i guess being gripped by dread and anxiety works too

#i had been thinking about moving to a smaller one too. but now she's ordering me to do that #and expects me to move back home #when my university and all of my two friends are in the city. #and i have TWO WEEKS to live here if she wants me to move before summer because i have to go back home anyway in early may #for my summer job. #like sure i wouldve understood like a hey. my child. your financial situation is oretty tough so i have some suggestions that could help #but she was like okay here's whay you do: option a) [something i couldnt do before fall] b) find a cheaper apartment and live in two weeks #c) move home for good and commute over an hour any day you have university stuff to do and also essentially lose access to your #friends and all and any independence you have managed to cobble together so i can treat you like a child and yeall at you #the last part wasnt included but it's what she does anyways so i assume it's part of the deal #then i would have to commute or drive an hour any time i wanted to see either of my friends. after every summer im already #tired and desperate to come back to my apartment to get to be on my own. and now she's saying i have to never do that again #and here's the fuckin thing. her husband is planning on fixing my car. my mom pays my phone bill. i know what a loser i am whatever. #she actually owns my dogs and my childhood home. i cannot. piss her ofd too much. because then i'll lose all of those #phone. whatever i can get a new one. car. slightly more heartbrwakin but like i still own it. but the house? #my dogs?? i think i would rather die atm if im being honest #so what the fuck am i supposed to do. huh. #maybe i should just walk into the sea foe good i feel like that would just so neatly solve all of my problems

[thebleedingeffect]

.

#okay I'm talking in the tags of this post cause shit is happening in my life and I gotta talk about it somewhere #one part of it is my step brother crashing and burning before my very eyes and there's nothing I can do to stop his own destructive actions #so it's just me watching this poor kid ruin his relationships and blame everything and everyone around him as he does so #despite the fact that he's undeniably been treated horribly at times- he's just turned that anger back onto others and himself #and I have no idea what to feel as I watch him get arrested. have drug problems. because I'm just waiting for the inevitable spiral #it doesn't help that my mom has been comparing us and saying that I'm the much better child and she wishes he was like me #not understanding that I could’ve been him if I was just more angry at the world at that age instead of being so sad and scared #and that leads me to my fucking mom cause like- I love her. we've been through alot of bad shit with her #I've almost done some really bad shit for her and I know that she loves me more than anything else #but it feels like its been getting more and more suffocating cause I'm not sure she's able to start seeing me as an adult #and start loosening her grip around me and let me breathe. to have my own experiences without her by my side #to be able to go places and imagine a future without her constantly by my side #she talks and it's like she doesn't even think to wonder that perhaps I want to form my own experiences #and experience the world on my own terms because I feel like I've spent my whole life having so little damn control #religious family. shit and neglectful father who turned into the exact opposite and nearly killed me. family who refuses to listen and talk #having to move and run immediately. put survival above all else. go to school. get out. and god I just wanna breathe #she loves me so much and I love her too. but I feel like I'll be sooner crushed if I stick here for long enough #I'm just mad that my life has been nothing but absolutely no love. sudden waves of intense love. absolutely nothing. sudden spike #and I feel like I'm just finally starting to form good. healthy relationships on my own terms and actually make friends #because I had no idea what I was doing when I was a kid cause I was so fucking lonely and hurting #now I just. gotta figure out how to tell my mom that I can't carry this expectation that I'll continue to stay forever by her side #it just feels like I'm her child first and a person second. and it sucks. it really sucks. #ough. spins and spins and spins and spins-

[toomuchdickfort]

Vent abt smth that gets on my Nerves

#tried bringing up to mom like. hey how could I bring up coming out to family. and she was like visibly uncomfortable so I was like dw I’m no #gonna like try to ruin Christmas with it or some shit I’m just. nervous u see. and I’m sat there anxiety rambling abt it because oh my god. #and she pulls out the fucking. ‘can’t you just be a person?’ mom I am a person already. the problem is. the PROBLEM IS. EVERYONE THINKS I AM #AND THUS TREATS ME AS A GIRL. like oh my god. #vent #it’s not a huge vent like if it comes up I’m not gonna Lie moms discomfort abt the matter be damned. #but like. ‘can’t you just be a person’ is what she says every fucking time it comes up. like mom. mother. mi madre. do you realize how much #of an insult that feels like when you say it EVERY TIME I bring up trans anxieties. or dysphoria. or any of the ways my transness affects my #life. like being trans doesn’t make me less of a person oh my god. but also frankly I don’t have the patience to be nice about getting into #things and I don’t have the heart to hurt her about it and even if I did have one of those I don’t have the patience to hold her hand #through all this shit. like I gave up having mom on this journey ages ago do you know how painful it is to un-give up on something that #immense. it’s hard and it hurts and it burns and it’s like. giving up to begin with didn’t hurt too bad- it’s cutting off the festering #wound. but. but then. you find out that. you can in fact work with that. and suddenly you have to try and clean the wound. care for it and #wrap it and do it all over again. and god it hurts. and. I’m not entirely sure I want to un-give up all the way on this? it’s. a lot #like I get and I appreciate that she’s trying to do. something. in theory at least. she avoids the subject when I bring it up and all but #cringed when I brought up coming out to her side of the family. she calls me my deadname and her daughter more than she did before she said #she would try. and I don’t have the energy to uncover that wound enough to start cleaning it. I’m just letting it sit there because frankly #it’ll be such a huge thing because it’s Always a huge thing when I don’t let the subject drop mega fast and I’m. I know she’s not gonna cut #me off for just being trans but GOD I want to keep ONE of my parents in my fucking life when I’m able to stand on my own two feet holy shit #and. man. it appears this is. still more of a thing than I thought it was. thats. annoying and inconvenient

[what-if-i-dee-eye-do]

I know I promised myself I wouldn't ever try to kill myself again but like. hee hoo

#who's fronting? #other #negative #dude it hasn't been this bad in years #these past two years might have broken me For Real #I literally just want to die All The Time #my body always hurts. there's nothing good in my life. what little good IS in my life is greatly offset by other shit #like my dog. love my dog love her HATE myself and how I treat her and how I don't give her the life she deserves #love my wife love her so much but I don't like the way she treats me and it feels like she doesn't want to spend time with me anymore #like im just a stuffed animal she wants to snuggle at night or while scrolling her phone #I love my family but I think we all know the problems there #literally what am I supposed to live for at this point? the hope that one day things might not be quite as bad? as fucking if. look at the #climate. look at geopolitical events like Palestine and the Congo. look at the economy #why the fuck would I want to live #why would I want to suffer in this hellscape of capitalism and genocide and climate change and and and and and and and #I wish I could go back to the doctor and try to get meds and therapy but I'm flat broke and don't have health insurance so i guess I'll just #feel like this until I die naturally or by my own hand lmfao

[nellectronic]

i don’t want to do this i don’t want to do this i don’t w

#trying to figure out grad school applications. idk what im doing #i dont feel like im ready for grad school but at the same time im extremely done with undergrad #mostly just the way my institution specifically is always like ‘We Have Resources Available For You!’ #but then they never seem to have the resources you actually fucking need #yes this is about the time i got sick this past summer and i had to call campus safety to take me to urgent care bc health services were #closed and the whole ordeal made me want to die #and the fact that they dont provide meals on weekends to summer housing students and there isnt enough kitchen space for everyone #and its also about how most of the residential buildings on campus are super inaccessible and they dont seem eager to do anything about it #and its also about how there is one (1) first aid kit in my entire dorm as far as i know and i just took the last large bandaid and idk #where else to find them #which is going to be a problem bc i scraped my knee pretty badly yesterday and it still hasnt fully scabbed over #idk i might delete this later i am just. so so tired right now. and i need another large bandaid and maybe a little treat or something #screams into the void

[falinscloaca]

cat hacker reintroduces mspec lesbian discourse into my life my brain obliterates itself in ocd-fueled recursive self-argumentation

#‘noones identity lives in a bubble and the self-id of others DOES effect broader culture and cause potential ramifications’ #and #‘jfc i’m not the center of the god damn universe and REGARDLESS of whatever petty semantic preference i have towards ‘my’ definition that #doesn’t mean shit for other people + the idea that queer people can be ‘invalidated’ or ‘excluded’ is fucking STUPID that isn’t how queers #work we aren’t a fucking club we can kick people out of for not doing things ~correctly~’ #can seemingly coexist in my brain but they keep biting each other #oh and in addendum to the first one ‘my lesbianism is fundamentally disinterested in men as both ID and interest to the point that it has #can feel (<- FEEL) like active misgendering to imply its definitionally compatible with other conceptions of the word. #not to mention the whole ‘i can’t even fucking figure out how my sexuality treats bigender people at all. like i’m consciously fine with #them from a like… impersonal framework but LUST-WISE it feels like dividing by zero. i don’t know. fucking logic puzzle ass shit.’ #ON MY END I’M FUCKING MISGENDERING SOMEONE EITHER WAY ITS. GAH. HELP #IT MAKES ME FEEL BADLY PROGRAMMED. CAN’T EVEN HANDLE A LITTLE GENDER FUCKERY. INFANT BRAIN. #you can pry my ID from my cold dead hands and if you imply its bigoted or ~separatist~ in origin i’ll fucking gut you. but also teehee its #just MY id and you can ID however you want just don’t tell me how to identify sparkle sparkle~<3 #but also my id IS mutually exclusive of yours definitially and WILL cause problems going forward from a clerical & organizational standpoint #homonym ass queer theory relied on by a fucking spineless little shit who refuses to take a hard stance for what she believes is right OR c #correct. the spineless coward is me. by homonym i mean the same word and spelling meaning different things to different people to the point #it might as well not be same word at all #‘i think my definition of lesbian is objectively better and wish people using other definitions would please stop but ALSO if you think less #of other people for using other definitions i will beat your skull in with a rock you bitch’ is. what i boil down to. #‘i think inclus vs exclus language is stupid and not how the lgbt+ community works but going by the logic i don’t like the existence of the #ID but also literally almost all my bestest friends in the world are inclus on the subject and despite my semantic arguments i don’t disagre #disagree with them. i still pray every night that i might wake up to a world where my actual opinions are unnecessary and my consciousness k #knows pure unchallenged peace though’ #while also recognizing that dream of personal peace by way of ignorance of the identity of others is pretty fucking selfish lol #i keep writing addendums. this can go on forever.

[homosexualmorelikehomiesexual]

god im so fucking tired of gender

#i want to be feminine and boyish in the way trans women are #finnposting #im not upset bc i dont think im uwu valid or whatever the fuck #im upset bc im genuinely struggling to identify who and what i am and what i want to be #and it doesnt help that my fucking THERAPIST is a strictly binary closeted trans woman #who if i mention wanting to explore my femininity will be like 'GOD i WISH' like yes im well aware. you traumadumped abt it the other week #and like i feel for her i really do #but its simply. not. an environment for me to freely say #i want dyke masculinity without being a dyke because im not attracted to women #im not a cis girl becauae i feel like cis girls arent. attracted to men the way i am. dont feel thevdisconnect from femininity that i do #ugh #and i live w my transphobic mom but i genuinely feel LESS comofrtable presenting femm around her than masc #because i can FEEL her approval when i do and its so fucking cloying #i feel like ive been gay best friended by my mother #its. ew #i hate this i hate everything #and the problem isnt i have any shame in the idea of detransitioning #its that i dont have a clearcut thing to tell me people what im retransitioning TO #* i * know what i want to be. the problem is no one will fucking treat me as such

[strwbrymlkshake]

I don't think I've ever been in a relationship this healthy before I don't know what to do 💀

#mine #🎸 #DUDE my feelings are so weird like i cant even describe them cause theyre all over the place. im hoping someone sees this and sends me an #ask or something with advice if this is even gonna make sense. because i am so confused lmfao #First of all im always expecting something to go wrong so i feel like it might be the absence of Problems thats throwing me off #But he reassures me all the time and genuinely cares about me? in regards to my last post we talked about it and he comforted me #i feel like im kind of in an emotional limbo where im still processing everything. my yan moments make appearances more than my dere #i feel so cringe saying that as a native english speaker. well im here to express my feelings not to be judged <3 #but i definitely FEEL the jealousy more. like i exhibit both equally but im more emotional in a bad way than a good way #but its not cause of anything hes doing at all! hes perfect?! i dont know how to handle it!! i only know how to be jealous #at least if im mean im not as likely to get hurt and thats why im afraid to feel lovey things as much??? im making myself sound like #a bastard but ive just been feeling more anxiety and getting worried about Relationship Stuff and that kills the vibes #but he doesnt even mind he doesnt treat my problems like a burden. he isnt sick of them he doesnt abandon me. he loves me and i am still so #bewildered? like. hes the nicest guy ive ever dated. ill gush about new people i meet but they do have flaws. i just dont acknowledge them #because im so blinded by idolization. but for this one ive thought everything out i have PONDERED for so long and he really is just such a #good person. how? WHY?? he has not done anything wrong and its just my mental illness that causes ALL the problems. but he wants to #BE there and comfort me. what the fuck my brain is like short circuiting. people this nice exist? he doesnt want to use me?? #and ofc this is all in the romantic sense. i still have friends that i value very much but this post is focused on romance #watch me say all this then he does something horrible. <-SEE IM SO NEGATIVE i expect things to go wrong #my main problem is im confused about my feelings they feel very tangled and muddled. im happy of course but i feel like the part of me that #feels romantic happiness/genuine satisfaction is all fucked up and broken. but he doesnt mind that im this way 🥲 WHY #HE ASSURES ME EVERYTHINGS OKAY he is there for me he cares about me but i cant wrap my head around it! im. this is so weird #one of my goals is to be less focused on being insane and actually get things done. w all my relationships i have a time blur thing #where i feel like time passes differently even more than it does for me. im just thinking so much bruh #right i think i was gonna go about getting adderall because of the everything all the time. im feeling numb but also #literally every emotion all at once. and it consumes me and my waking thoughts. i guess it was easier to ignore before?

[blitzisms]

vent ahead, be warned. idk how to do read more on mobile, sorry.

You ever just want to go off on a petty rant because you used to be friends with people who are absolute hypocrites of themselves because they preach themselves as soft and good people for their friends but the moment that you need them they flake on you and assume terrible shit about you besides knowing you for months and maybe years? No? Nevermind then today was baller how's it going.

#vent #vague #listen. i rarely fuckin make these. #this probably wont stay up long but fucking #i don't understand people. #why do people side with others who accuse serious shit and then show no proof of it at all #it makes me not want to even try sometimes y'know #like. whats the point in making all these friendships if these friendships are going to be made on top of glass #one glance of even something POTENTIALLY being bad #even if you've known them forecer #and its instant cut off. no closure. no talking. no nothing. #I'm tired of fucking being treated this way man. so tired of it. #im sorry i havent been here. i really am. #this shit is just. fuckigh with me mentally so much and these people don't understand that. #maybe im just too trusting on this site iddk #but fuckng. im a person too. i deserve my own words. my own side. im not something discarded once problems come up #maybe i wasnt ever cared for. i don't know. #anyway. rant over. #it doesnt feel like christmas this year. #shoutout to the people who broke my heart on it. #hope karma bites you ten times harder.