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borrovvedyoongi · 6 years

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Another Side

Word count: 3,988

yoongi x reader

Disclaimer: mentions of depression, and suicide

Min Yoongi. Min Yoongi wasn't really an outside person, meaning- he just didn't go outside. Except for photography or the occasional outing with his friends or to play basketball, but that's it. So when it was summertime he didn't party almost everyday and get hangovers, he hunched over his computer screen and dwelt on what to write. Fresh out of college, majoring in English and literature, basic writing stuff, and minoring in music.There wasn't a lot of stability in finding jobs. Jobs that can be careers anyway. He just wanted to write stories, do his hobbies, and enjoy life. “Be the better you than you were yesterday” he likes to say. Which is fucking tricky, when he has depression.

College stressed him out so much. He always had blue rings under his eyes, a slight slouch from bending over his desk late at night to finish those damn essays, falling asleep on his desk, wondered if he should drop out, wondered if this was worth it.

Now a man with a degree, he doesn't know if he's the one that is worth it. He has those pesky thoughts linger in his mind. And tonight, they wouldn't leave. It's pissing him off, with each thought clouding his mind as he's lying on his couch. "Your stories aren't going to fucking sell. They're filled with shit." He tells himself. The music he plays and writes himself just feel like sounds with no meaning behind them. These thoughts are driving him mad, so he gets up, says "fuck it" and is on his merry way to drink his sorrows away.

1:13 am, June 12th

You're driving around aimlessly on a summer night, and it's drizzling. You got into those moods again where you're bored, alone, hella fucking sad, and need to get out of the your place because you've become a hermit. Summer is your absolute, favorite time of the year. No school, no deadlines, no stress. Shorts, tank tops, off the shoulder blouses are totally appropriate to wear. Sun's out, buns out, right? Fucking wrong.

It's been raining for a week straight. Your mood changes when the season changes. (Drastically, too.) You love summer so damn much, but it's probably the worst you've ever felt each time in the year, for the past two years. It's because you don't have a routine to stick to. You get out of bed whenever, eat whenever, get off the internet, whenever and however you want. This unfortunately leads to awful sleep schedules and a lethargic body. Unhealthy, tired, lonesome even. Plus, you hate the rain. You got out of your apartment, showered, ate, and even got dressed up a little for no reason, because pampering yourself is self-care. That small inkling of happiness builds, which brings you closer to a better routine.

Blasting music and driving in solitude was so exhilarating, and liberating to you. You're more of a walker than a driver, but people shouldn't really be listening to music with headphones in at night, walking alone at 1 am. So the car, it shall be. No direction to really go to, but you pay close to mind on where you're going, because you get lost easily. You never really venture out unless it's work, home, the store, or a friend's house. You're not all good at reading maps either. Driving at night at this hour isn't practical, but who said you led a practical life?

You don't venture far, just drive around in circles, take a turn here and there, and suddenly you're driving past a bar and realize you drove a little too far from home and never heard of these street names before. You turn around, and try to retrace your steps, because you can't be that far off from home. You drive slowly and see a man with his thumb up pointing in the air. He doesn't look menacing looking, just..a tad tipsy by the way you look at his stance. He's actually kinda cute when you look closer, with the way the little drops of rain start to gather and roll against his nose, his sleepy eyes making him more innocent, the way he's doing the sweater paw thing while his thumb is in the air and holy shit your car is parked right in front of him now.

He looks more wide awake now, with the loud noises of your windshield wipers swishing around. He blinks once or twice. You blink twice or three times. He's walking, you have your eyes on every move he makes, and he gets in. He just casually clips his seat belt and looks at you.

You've picked up a hitchhiker before. You saw a grown man holding his little son's hand. The little boy was wearing a backpack, and the father had his thumb in the air. Of course, you were scared it was some sort of sick scam and that you might get your car jacked because it was the slightly less nice part of town, but you figured you would give this a chance. You parked by them and immediately got your pepper spray out as a warning because you really can't afford to be naive. You drove the boy to school, and his father insisted on walking himself home. This is a different situation, because you left your pepper spray at home. Also, this is even more shady, because it's night time and why the hell did this guy just not get an Uber? God, you're really stupid for letting this guy in.

All this time you were staring at him and letting your thoughts run wild, when you hear him say "You're not a serial killer, are you?"

You've always had a smart mouth, to which you answered, "The chances of two serial killers in the same car is astronomical." He's unfazed by this response, and he just smirks. He really can't be a murderer when he's sporting sweater paws in his lap, can he?

"So uh..where are you heading?" You ask sheepishly.

"Home. I can type in the address into your phone if you want." He's a soft talker. You turn down your music.

"Yeah, you can do that. Here." You hand him your phone, and he's staring at it blankly.

"Hey, is there something wrong?" You ask.

"...this is an android." Jesus. Christ.

"Is that a problem sir?" You deadpan.

"No, simple observation. First time I actually hitch a ride, and my driver is an android user. This is a lot to take in." This time he's smiling, and it's noticeable.

"Are you sure you're not a serial killer? This much boldness and conversation on your end is freaking me out." You say as you start driving. The destination is approximately 16 minutes, not bad.

"I swear. Whenever I get drunk I'm just this outgoing." He chuckles.

"Because I have a complete stranger next to me now, I gotta interrogate you. Why didn't you just call an Uber? Or a friend?" You say.

"My phone died. I don't like the music that plays at the bars so I brought my ear buds, and I didn't charge my phone before I left my place. I was at the bar drinking for a couple hours. I'm one of the oldest out of all my friends, so they're still living on campus at the opposite end of town, any other friends aren't close around here, nor family. So no one can take me anywhere, and I'm not dumb enough to drink and drive regardless of how clear the roads are." He says that relatively fast for someone who's not sober and articulates it in a way that throws you off a bit.

"You just answered all my questions and I haven't even asked the rest of them yet. Are you sure you're not drunk? Or is this just a creatively weird way to pick up girls?" You inquire.

"I've figured I owed you a good explanation because you're practically my savior at this point. Plus, I'm not into chicks who picks up guys on the side of the road. I like cautious, sensible girls. No offense." This guy sure has the balls to be this mouthy at you.

"How are you going to call me your savior when you also just insulted me in one go, man? Gimme a break. I wasn't even planning on stopping for you, I was making a u-turn while slowing down and I stopped without thinking." He turns his whole body to face you.

"So you're telling me you didn't even think about letting a stranger in? You just..let it happen? This really is a fortunate day for me." He leans back in the seat, closing his eyes with yet another dumb smirk. It's not that you weren't thinking at all, you were just checking him out. No way in hell does he have to know that though.

"Hey, don't fall asleep on me now. You gotta make sure I'm going the right way." You nudge him with your right elbow lightly. He opens his eyes and now you feel them on you. You grip the steering wheel a little tighter because his gaze is making you tense, you can just feel it piercing you.

"Well, what about you? Why are you driving into the night like this? Getting home from a party?" Part of you is contemplating whether to overshare or tell him to mind his own business. Seeing as you are on some sort of high after picking up a hot stranger and most likely never seeing him again, and you can't possibly push him away or turn him off by your upcoming venting session because it's not like you guys are gonna screw, and he's in your car, so he's forced to listen. Plus, spilling it to someone you'll never cross paths again is better than venting to a friend that will just end up worrying about you and just saying the same thing again: it will get better.

"I needed to get out of my place. Depression has been kicking my ass so I'm just trying to piece myself together again by going out for a drive and fixing myself up. I've been in bed all day on my phone swiping and typing away, barely eating. My apartment is barely recognizable. There was so much shit going on in my head, I needed to get out. I'm not going anywhere, just driving in circles really. Then my dumb ass got lost and I found you." For a moment he doesn't say anything, but just sighs and says,

"That's a decent way of coping with it. On rare occasions I drink to forget about my depression." A soft "oh" escapes your lips.

"I was about to say sometimes but then I figured it would make me sound like an alcoholic. I swear I'm not." He says. "It's just been a really bad couple of weeks. So bad, I kinda don't care what happens to me at this point. That's why I decided to hitchhike tonight. Things like this happened before, if I walk to my place it will take about an hour and a half. I sober up, think more clearly, and go back to bed."

"You already sound like you're sobering up. I think you're halfway there to feeling better. Even if you feel better temporarily, it's still good." You say.

"Oh babe, I'm most definitely not sober right now." Even in the darkness you're worried he saw you blush after saying that. The conversation is flowing nice even though you literally met less than twenty minutes ago. You don't want it to stop yet, and try to talk as much as you can.

"What are your coping skills for when you feel like this? Do you like music? Maybe you could play it and drive like how I'm doing." You said.

"That's a nice idea, and I love music. It's one of my hobbies. Although I don't like the idea of wasting gas, I'm not really made out of money to do that. I write in a journal about how I'm feeling. Maybe play basketball. I try to surround myself by people who love me, but it gets overwhelming when they see you like that, like this." He points at himself. You notice how he has earrings. Pretty silver hoops. Always had a soft spot for piercings.

"I get it, I usually pace around my room with earbuds in to listen to music. Or outside and do that..but seeing as it's late I can't really do that. Also, your happiness matters. Nothing is ever a waste if it will make you feel better." You say, eyes still straight ahead.

"I like your way of thinking, I wish I was more positive. I'm actually way better compared to how I was a few years ago but sometimes you have a shit day. Or month. I'll keep that in mind, though." He says, sounding a little defeated.

In your car you were playing a pretty mellow playlist. It's all songs that you liked recently. A lot of them were sad though. Some old favorites here and there for added nostalgia too. What you forgot what you usually did though, was adding one song that was incredibly energetic and random from the rest of your playlist, so you wouldn't be sad the whole time it was playing. One minute you're listening to a symphonic ballad, and then you hear Super Bass blasting from your speakers. You're about to change it when you hear him laugh, pretty hard too.

"Oh god. This song reminded me of a really funny story. In high school I had a bad episode where I came pretty close to offing myself but then fucking SUPER BASS came on shuffle after my sad music ended, and I just remember laying on my bathroom floor thinking 'I can't kill myself to this song, it's Super Bass' so I just went to sleep." He finished saying while holding his stomach, not trying at all to contain his laughter.

You were about to ask what "offing yourself" meant and then replayed the story he told you in your head, and almost swerved the damn car from laughing so hard. After the laughter simmers down, you ask,

"So you said music was your hobby, what did you mean by that?" You ask.

"Well, I write songs. I make music, I produce. Just a bunch of underground stuff. That doesn't really pay the bills so I work a side job too." He says.

Not much is said after that. Words exchanged here and there like, "this is a good song." There was one moment where both of you said it at the same time and laughed some more. You want to pat yourself on the back in your choice of clothes and doing your makeup on a whim, because you're almost sure he was checking you out too.

You don't know why you haven't realized this before, but this person lives in the same apartment building as you, as you start parking in your spot. You were so caught up in the conversation that you didn't realize you ended up driving here on your own without really looking at the map on your phone. The stranger unbuckles his seat belt and turns to you.

"Hey uh, thanks for the ride. I hope you don't live too far away or anything." You turn off the car and unbuckle your seat belt, which makes him a little apprehensive.

"Calm down, I live here too." You start getting out of the car and walking towards him. You can see how flushed his cheeks are under the streetlamp.

"I've never seen you around though." You said.

"Well, I've never seen you around either. Maybe we are both serial killers." He has a very lovely smile.

"Thanks." Well, shit.

"Oh god you weren't supposed to hear that." You start playing with the hair tie on your wrist and looking down on the ground, seeing yourself in a little puddle separating between the two of you. He just starts smiling wider, and changes the subject. Thank God.

"We should get inside, before it starts pouring." It's almost 2 am, and you can feel yourself get worn out. Both of you walk inside the building and go into the elevator.

"What floor are you?" He asks.

"Third."

"Maybe that's why I never see you, I'm on the second." He says. You lean back on the wall and evaluate how your day went. You did the dishes at least. The whole place is still a mess. You took a shower, that's good, right? And you brought someone back to their home safely. Good karma is always needed. Your attention is on him now. He's about to step off on his floor.

"Later, stranger." You say. He's out of the elevator now, and says,

"Yoongi. Min Yoongi is my name." The doors start closing but before it does, you see him getting into his apartment. It feels good opening up your feelings and leaving your home for once. You finally get on your floor, and get inside your place. You head straight for your bed and stare at the ceiling. You remember all the dumb stuff you did tonight (and said) and remember the words exchanged between that guy, Yoongi. Now, you could just let this guy be and remain as acquaintances, or scheme ways to run into him more. It doesn't take long to try to find ways to run into him though. You have no choice because it's him, that runs into you.

Part two, coming whenever the hell that is

#yoongi scenarios #bts scenarios #jesus this is literally my first time writing in two years #suga scenarios

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skeletxnqueen · 7 years

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flower crown fairy lights daisies 1975 matte black nail polish pantone moodboard stars plants converse lace handwriting cactus sunrise oil paints overalls combat boots winged eyeliner pastel tattoos piercings bands messy bun cry baby grunge space white bed sheets old books beaches eyes 11:11 painting lightning thunder storms love clouds coffee marble

T H E N E V E R E N D I N G A S K (I wasn’t ignoring you, I’m gonna be honest, I forgot this was sitting in my drafts waiting to be completed aaaaa)

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself? - A few minutes ago. I left my iPod in my co-worker’s car so I kinda have nothing better to do. All my favorite apps are on there.

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? - Are alternate universes real and is there one where I am content and happy? (sorry to get depressing there bud but life just ain’t what I want it to be rn)

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? - I haven’t experienced enough things to really say I’ve accomplished anything. I guess getting a job and keeping it for as long as I have? Six months and counting.

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise? - Seeing a gif of a kitten walking over to a camera man and then proceeding to nap on him and walk all over his shoulders and sit on his head while he had to hold almost completely still.

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? - This question as me depressed and low key anxious I don’t think I can answer it without crying sorry

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things? - Not really. I try to avoid really confronting my own mortality. Thinking about dying both scares and tempts me and it’s really weird and terrifying and no bueno. Gosh my answers seem so depressing I’m sorry bab aaAAAA

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail. - I’m too lazy to describe anyone again but um my brother c’: Again. Heckie

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood? - I suppose. I mean it definitely could have been better, but it’s not really on “tragic backstory” level so I guess yeah. I dunno how to answer this, in all honesty.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person? - Earlier tonight

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them. - My friend Antonio. He’s weird but he loves space and it’s nice to hear how excited he gets talking about the stars and planets because he’s super passionate about it. I just like when my friends are happy ya know? So I know stargazing with my space buddy would be fun.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them? - Honestly I have before. I don’t mean for it to, but sometimes the conversations just take that direction. I’m a big oversharer.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you? - fam I’m always up at 3am wym I stay talkin to ppl at 3am (for the record it’s usually my mom and/or brother)

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom? - Again, I can’t answer this without crying I’m sorry.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes? - I have them and I love them why is this up for discussion why is this a question is there brown eye discourse???

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally. - “I don’t care what you think, as long as it’s about me.” …….. I really like attention. More seriously though, I like knowing that I’m real to other people. I know it sounds weird but sometimes I just like being reminded that I actually exist in other people’s lives and that I’m a real person???? Idk how to describe it but yeah. That line makes me think about that aspect of myself a lot.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far? - “Still Figuring It Out”

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars? - cry because I can finally get my family out of our rough situation, spoil my mom and brother rotten, buy lots of pretty makeup, travel the world, and still have enough left over to live comfortably for the rest of my life without ever having to work again unless I want to to have something to do.

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way? - I am. Sometimes too much for my own good. Sometimes I like it just cause it can help settle conflicts quicker and sometimes I don’t because not only do I let toxic people back into my life but it causes me to miss them and desperately want them back because I convince myself “it’s in the past, it wasn’t that bad, and they’ve probably changed so I should let it go”.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self. - Dear Mikii,

First of all what a weird nick-name you dork. I’m Gabby. I’m still just as much of a dork so don’t feel bad. You’re going through a weird phase in your life right now. You’re confused and probably questioning who you are. That’s not really going to stop, but it gets better. It gets easier to deal with. Eventually you’ll work for your favorite pizza place and, while it’s stressful, you’ll make cool friends and you’ll make money, and nobody will be able to tell you what you can and can’t buy. It’ll be awesome. You got this

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel? - I guess I lean closer to the punk side. It’s kind of funny because I have the soft cute personality that you’d think would fit on a pastel type person and honestly that’s my aesthetic but style wise, I usually go for darker colors and stuff. My brother is the polar opposite. Punk personality and pastel style.

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain. - Yes. Body art is yes. I love it and I want it. If you have tattoos and/or piercings I am 75% more likely to get some kind of crush on you.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not? - yes, because I like it and it’s pretty.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. - I dunno if this counts much, I had to think long and hard on this one, but Crossfire by Stephen makes me think a lot about current events and police brutality and the bombings in other countries and just a bunch of sad stuff that’s going on now which I know is the point but it makes me really think about the privilege I do have compared to those who face discrimination and oppression far more harshly than I ever will and I just heckin

heck

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them. - “Prince didn’t die for this.”

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. - I’ve only ever been to one and it was a local band so

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? - Idk man probably my dad. Not gonna go in depth but I’ll say this. I’d want a large sum of money included and a 5 page long apology letter.

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised? - nope nothing is organized and I dont have a workspace

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine? - stay up til I physically cannot hold my eyes open anymore then fall asleep

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? - that I’m not Christian and that I have a um…. device. Of some sort.

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? - Keep it red / make it redder, probably some kind of undercut or side shave

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do? - 1. Alin2. Mikey3. Kaylee4. Dom5. Rose

I’d take these nerds with me as I travel the globe and try new experiences, shop cool unique things, and just live my dream life with. I’d go to the ends of the earth with these precious babies.

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them. - (1) Wealth. I want to pay off my mother’s college debt, buy her a nice place to stay as well as somewhere for myself, buy my brother anything his little heart desires, donate to fundraisers and charities, live my dream life, etc. (2) Clear skin. I’m pretty confident in my body shape and all, but I can’t stand my skin. Especially everywhere that isn’t my face. My shoulders have it the worst. (3) Someone willing to date me who doesn’t live thousands of miles away would be lovely. I mean I can do long distance but I just crave physical affection ya know? I dunno man I’m just lonely.

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up. - Well, last year I was a dead cowgirl. I used my day of the dead makeup and wore a flannel, jeans, boots, and a cowboy hat that I got from party city. Relatively simple, but it was still fun to see little kids’ reactions and everything at work.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? - this implies I’ve gotten drunk or high before (I’ve been kind of tipsy before but otherwise I’m fucking lame and I don’t do that stuff)

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? - kill somebody (there are a few exceptions but in general ya know?)

storms: you can only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why? - both of these would drive me literally insane let’s not and say we did

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realize you’re in love. - I think I have. I don't know. To me it's realizing the things I'd be willing to do for that person. Just wanting to make them happy. Wanting to spoil them, see them smile, hear their stupid jokes even if they aren't funny, see all the ugly or silly faces they make, and just loving everything about them. Overcoming my biggest insecurities and discomforts for them. Realizing that there are certain things I can only see myself doing with them. When I read those couple posts I think of them, even though it's been over a year since we've been together. Hearing a certain song or artist is tainted by thoughts of them, when nothing would come to mind before I got to know them. Filling spots in my mind and heart that for years had been left vacant. Realizing that despite how much they've hurt me, I'd gladly take them back if they asked. Feeling like it was the right love at the wrong time, even though it probably wasn't the right love at all. Falling in love to me is having them lurking around every corner of my mind, the darkest shadows, the deepest trenches, even when I'm not thinking of them, they're always there. Even when I'm not thinking about them, I somehow am. I don't know if this is love or obsession, admittedly. Maybe I just need help lol

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair? - I’d rock both and look sexy while doing it

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone? - I don’t go to starbucks enough to really say

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now? - my family and getting us out of the tough situation we’re in right now

#dxrk-sxxls #long post #answers #about me #dxrk sxxls

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