#(also bad witch is my regional manager i fucking hate her)

[felizusnavidad]

haiku about the end of the year

it’s this time of the year

when you say goodbye

to moments of doubt and anger and tears

don’t let fuckers win

screw them

let’s focus on goodness and light

they will never know these feelings

goodbye bad bad people

✨✨✨✨

once upon a time, in a faraway land in a small and shitty mall there was this "luxury" store and guess what was it called? ****Trend

there was a girl, poppy was her name she used to work in this place and oh, it was once her safe space but not anymore, what a shame

the job was shitty, that's not a lie her workmates were amazing though they made her laugh, laughed at her jokes (she even befriended the new guy)

and then one day no fun, no more she got the worst news ever "we are transferring you", the bad bitch witch tells her "to a different mall, a different store"

the store was far away from poppy's and her new team couldn't accept her there was one guy who fucking hated her she couldn't take it, she wrote her notice

i guess you can say she wrote her way out but she still had to stay for quite some time tried to be nice to them, was that a crime? "i will survive this, without a doubt"

crying sessions in the bathroom that was poppy's way to cope but then one day she just said "nope" new idea, sick leave, BOOM!

who's laughing now? i guess not them she's gonna have long christmas break she knows for sure that wasn't a mistake that's why now she is writing this poem

she also got a new job offer her teerico merch is on the way good things are coming, also, hey! she's taking the job, it starts next year!

she saw in the heights live in koszalin she met jakub gierszał with her bestie, bel she wrote her way out of this hell (maybe one day she will also meet lin?)

here's to new year, here's to the new chapter here's to uk trip and the eras tour in poland! here's to my friends, my moots from foreign land may poppy's life be full of laughter!

#is this anything? #idk #my name is poppy i am a poet #also yes i rhymed koszalin with lin #i wrote this at work #tomorrow is my last day #please be happy with me #(the fact that the name of my store rhymes with “land” made me laugh too hard) #(also bad witch is my regional manager i fucking hate her) #ILY BEL #thank you and enjoy! #this is the ballad of depressed girl or whatever #i saved every letter you wrote me* #why do you write like you're running out of time* #(yes i'm gonna use this tag for this poem or whatever the hell that is)

[crystalelemental]

Rimedhal is down, thoughts ahead.

I didn’t expect to like this area but I have since come around.

My immediate issue was “Oh god, we’re really going with the religious zealotry and witch hunts, fuck me.”  It just seemed very on the nose.  And it was!  In some ways, I think that still ranks it as my least favorite of the the areas.  Barring Halcyonia, which is fine but also really not doing anything of note ever.  But it does manage to have a pretty impactful feel while playing, and Adelle being a fairy was a nice surprise.  Kinda rude of her not to save that priest’s daughter, when you think about it.  We also get the explanation that the fairies were the creators of the Asterisks that make the job classes, and that her sister took them and ran off, which is why she partnered with Elvis and is on this quest in the first place.  Which was pretty neat, and the revelation of her being a fairy puts the whole shoes thing into better context; I don’t think you wear shoes when you can just fly everywhere, no wonder she doesn’t get their importance.

Martha’s great.  I like her a lot.  She comes off as incredibly flirty right before it’s revealed that she’s just looking for a fight.  She continues to be a big focus, and I’m pretty sure she and Adelle are a thing now, so nice.  Her boss fight wasn’t too scary either, but I chalk that up to Shield Bearer being hilariously busted.  Defender of the People is nuts.

Gladys...I didn’t like Gladys, like, at all.  But I also have to say I came around.  I’m not thrilled with their ultimate decision to kill her off, but the way in which it happens is impactful.  Like, it all fits.  She very willingly went along with murdering hundreds in these judgments, and when the opportunity arose, she’s stabbed in the back by someone who lost a loved one to it.  Honestly, good.  Maybe I’m lacking in empathy, but that NPC that’s like “Yeah, she gleefully went along with this, so fuck her” was 100% right.  I’m all for redeeming a character and showing the trials of redemption rather than killing them and saying it was done, so I feel that’s a lazy out, but the method in which she gets hit is satisfying.  And she goes out taking a shot at Helio, so that’s nice.

Speaking of whom, he’s fine.  He’s mostly just obvious evil man, so I have no real attachment to him.  Oooh, surprise!  He killed Gladys’ parents for figuring out the judgments were fake, and he’s been lying to everyone, and manipulating things the whole time, because he was actually part of the villain kingdom whose name I can’t remember.  You know, the one Adam’s from.  It’s fine.  He’s boring.

I do like that Gladys and Helio are a double boss fight.  It wasn’t very hard.  She has counters to everything, including attacking Helio, but Counter-Savvy off of Ranger makes all her counters miss, so you’re free to just lay the smackdown on the man.  Gladys is a bit tougher, but she’s not too bad.

Then there’s the Archbishop.  Dominic?  I legit can’t even remember his name.  If Helio is boring, he’s even worse, for being exclusively in the background.  He’s super transparent, to the player at least, that he’s just after complete control.  The only interesting bit is that he covets the Fire Crystal as bringing warmth to the region, but it passes him up twice for another, and that implication that he wanted to be chosen 50 years ago but wasn’t is neat.  As is the idea that he was passed up for the Fairy Queen.  It’s not clear if the Fairy Queen was the last person to be blessed, but I think that’s meant to be the implication, and that the selection of fairies specifically was part of a vendetta for being passed over by the Crystal.  His boss fight was the easiest one yet.  “I have Stop!”  I have Unshakable Will, good game.

After wrapping that up, now it’s on to the major invasion of everywhere at once.  I’ve decided to just drop pretenses and cap out all my classes and push forward with whatever I want.  So that’s fun.  Though speaking of classes...

Dragoon is fine, but I really hate the female outfit, and I don’t find anything it does all that exciting.  Not a fan.

Swordsmaster has one, and only one, combo that I really like.  Take up that stance that lets you double attack, then basic attack as many times as you can, with White Mage passive Drain Attack and Vanguard passive Defensive Offense.  You heal a ton, reduce damage you take, and have some solid offense, especially comboed with Oracle.

Spiritmaster is the best class in the game.  It is not close.  Reraise is hilarious, and the ability to apply consistent regeneration of HP or MP, or even clearing status effects, is stupid good.  The big oddity to me is that I think the Basuna effect also clears your Reraise, which is...funny.  I have no idea why it does that.  It may have just been the boss fight I was in, but yeah.  Weird.  Even more than that, though?  They have an equip skill that activates the primary passive of your sub-job.  This is bonkers good.  Melee offense with Berserker now cannot be stopped by Default.  White Mage as a sub-class can result in damage reduction.  Sub-Oracle can now deal a metric ton of elemental damage.  There are some nice combos.

Oracle is your time mage.  Haste is okay, Slow is fine, but the real fun is Quick and Elemental shenanigans.  With three actions, here’s the play.  If an enemy is not weak to an element, but has one that deals neutral damage, reduce their resistance to -1 so they’re vulnerable.  Apply that element to the Swordsmaster, and give them Quick to deal 50% more hits.  Big damage, especially if you have a mage to follow up.

I feel like the combos are coming into play.  My current setup going forward is:

Seth as Shield Bearer/White Mage.  The main passive is Revenge, to improve BP as he takes his.  Defender of the People is huge, and combos with Revenge to keep BP topped off.  Getting to take multiple actions is huge, allowing him to revive anyone that wasn’t protected, heal himself, activate Reprisal so foes take damage when hurting him, and put up Defender again.  It’s hilarious, especially with...

Gloria as Spiritmaster/Oracle.  Pure support, but a win button.  Spiritmaster’s passive healing and Re-Raise keeps everyone topped off, and prevents Seth from staying dead, even against foes who can knock him out.  She’s absolutely tremendous.  Sub-Oracle was chosen to combo well with...

Elvis as Swordmaster/Berserker.  As stated above, you get that Oracle combo going to give him elemental damage on basic attacks that he doubles up on, and he’s restore HP and reduce damage afterward.  It’s such a good combo, especially because it bypasses Default.  Which leaves...

Adelle as Red Mage/Black Mage.  Initially, I had these reversed.  Black Mage’s second special ability ignores immunity and absorption effects, which was really good when we got to Wiswald, but has since been...useless.  I haven’t seen a really threatening immunity or absorption in ages.  Everything shifted to resistance, the one thing Black Mage can’t bypass.  Almost like the game knew or expected you to have figured this one out by now, and is making you think on your feet.  So, Red Mage it is.  They can double cast at level 12!  So once you spot the enemy weakness, the kill setup is Oracle and Swordmaster combo for that damage, then pure Brave Adelle into her double strike spellcasting to that same element.  It’s great.

We now have the antagonist brigade, which is at least another four classes, so we’ll see how any of those go.  But for now, I’m really happy with the current spread.

#bravely default 2

[plaidbooks]

Cabin Life - The Beginning

A/N: You all need to blame both @storiesofsvu and @berniesilvas for this! I want woodsman!Sonny to be real so fucking bad, so that he can sweep me off my feet. Anyways, this covers the Cabin in the Woods square in @storiesofsvu fall bingo!

I don’t mention it in the story, but in my mind, this takes place before he’s in SVU, even before Homicide. I have him mid-late 20s.

Tags: none, just fluff

Words: 1330

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart  @beccabarba  @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @permanentlydizzy @ben-c-group-therapy  @infiniteoddball @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @alwaysachorusgirl  @glimmerglittergirl @joanofarkansass @caracalwithchips @berniesilvas​  @reading--mermaid  @averyhotchner  @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles​ @crowleysqueenofhell @dreamlover31

(gif by @dailypeterscanavino)

When Sonny was a kid, his parents would take him and his sisters to their vacation home; a homey cabin nestled in the New Hampshire woods. There were multiple cabins there, spread out over the land, close enough to be considered neighbors, but far enough for privacy. They had basic appliances—a fridge/freezer, a stove/oven, a sink, a bathtub, a shower, a toilet—but everything else was wooden. Dom Sr. eventually put a tv there, just in the master bedroom, so he could keep up with news and sports while they vacationed.

Sonny always loved the little community up there. Everyone was always so nice to him and his family. Which is why, after dealing with atrocities while on the force, he decided to retreat from city life. He hated being surrounded by monsters every day; sure not everyone in New York City was a creep or predator or murderer, but after seeing so much of the city’s underbelly, he was fed up.

He asked his parents if he could move to the New Hampshire house permanently. They would still be able to vacation there, of course—it was a massive, four-bedroom cabin—but he just needed to get away. He agreed to pay for everything, and he still had his cell phone so they could contact him if needed. It didn’t take much convincing for his parents to agree.

It was definitely an adjustment going from the heart of NYC to becoming a woodsman. Sonny grew his hair and beard out and bought plaid jackets—the things he saw woodsman do on tv when he was younger. The cabin needed work, especially clearing up the outside foliage, giving him some sense of purpose. And if he needed food, there were the local markets close by and a grocery store about an hour away.

The locals all remembered the scrawny little boy who spent his summers running around the woods with his sisters, and they all gladly took him under their wings. After Sonny hacked back the overgrowth, Mr. Piper taught him how to do controlled burn piles. Mr. and Mrs. Willis came over soon after, helping him measure out, then build an elevated garden. Mrs. Willis taught him how to make nutrient soil, while Mr. Willis gave him seeds, and taught him how to care for each and every vegetable.

When Sonny got the cabin, he inherited the small apple orchard, too. His pa taught him how to care for the trees while his ma taught him recipes for apple pie, cider, tarts, jams. He noticed how much he relied on bees to pollinate, and Ms. Walters, the local honey provider, taught him which wildflowers were 1) regional to them and 2) attracted bees. Sonny built another elevated garden, this time on his own, and filled it with wildflower seeds Ms. Walters gifted him with.

There was a creek nearby, and one day, Sonny found Mr. Adams fishing in it. Sonny proposed a deal; Mr. Adams gives Sonny an old rod that he wouldn’t miss, and Sonny would teach Mr. Adams the best way to clean and cook the fish. Mr. Adams agreed and gave him a sturdy rod. As Sonny went about cleaning and deboning the fish they had caught, he complimented Mr. Adams on his herb garden.

“Herb gardens aren’t the hardest thing to manage,” he said with a smile, and gifted Sonny with starters for every herb he could think of— “as payment for this phenomenal fish recipe!”

Third elevated garden up and running, Sonny fell into woodsman life easily. His muscles grew, though he was still thin; he was lean, though, not lanky anymore. Any questions he had, the locals had answers for. He grew his own food, fished his own fish, and bought (or traded) meat from the local hunters. Soon enough, the locals were calling him, asking for help with something or other. And Sonny loved all of it.

 *********************

During the weekly Autumn Farmer’s Market, Sonny rented a little booth. He had brought multiple apple pies, tarts, bottles of cider, apple chips, packages of herbs, tomatoes, cucumbers, squash, lettuce, and everything else he had in abundance…that would also fit on only two tables. When he first started harvesting, he would give most away, or trade for other goods, but he also needed to make money some way. So, the extras ended up here.

He was in the middle of chatting with Mr. and Mrs. Willis about how his gardens were coming along when he saw you. He froze halfway through a sentence, his jaw hanging open, prompting the Willis’s to turn. Mrs. Willis looked back at Sonny, a knowing smile on her face.

“She just moved back in with her parents; she had been living in New York City for a little bit, trying to make a life there, but, well, as she said herself, she’s not a city girl,” Mrs. Willis explained.

Before Sonny could respond—or tear his eyes from you—you glanced over at him. You smiled warmly, and his heart beat faster. When you started coming towards his little booth, he scrambled to clean himself up, brushing his hair back off his face, smoothing down his shirt, trying to wipe some dirt off the front. Mrs. Willis gave him a smile before looping her arm with her husband and pulling him away.

“Hello! I’m new here, but I must say, your booth is probably my favorite,” you said, still smiling at him.

It took him a moment for his brain to process your words. “O-oh yeah? Why’s that?”

“All of your food looks delicious. I mean, look at this squash! It’s bigger than my head!” you announced, giggling.

He had never heard anything more magical in his life. “Do you like pie? I can give you a slice,” he replied nervously.

“How much?” you asked. You loved both apples and pie, and his looked amazing.

He gave you a soft smile. “It’s on the house; a sweet treat for a pretty woman.”

You felt your face heat and you smiled shyly as he unwrapped a pie and cut into it. He cut off a generous piece, and you opened your mouth to complain about taking it for free, but he brushed you off, placing the piece on a plate and handing it to you. You took a bite, and you swear your taste buds were dancing; it was the most delicious thing you ever tasted before, the sweetness and the tartness balanced perfectly.

You chewed thoughtfully before swallowing it. “That is the best damn pie I’ve ever had. Ever. But please, share with me, Mr.…?”

“Call me Sonny, please. Sonny Carisi,” he replied, a goofy smile pulling across his lips.

You gave him your name, then offered him a bite. You both stood and chatted while exchanging bites of apple pie. He told you about his decision to leave the city and live a simpler life, surrounded by good people. And you told him about how you had always heard of the big city and decided to live there. But after a few months, you missed the woods too much, and you came back home.

“I feel a little silly living back at home in my adult life. I’m hoping to get my own cabin one day…maybe build it from the ground up,” you finished.

Sonny nodded in understanding. “Well, if you ever need anything, anything at all, you can always ask me. I’m not the most knowledgeable about cabin life quite yet, but I have the knowledge of who to call for advice.”

“Well, thank you, Sonny. Maybe I’ll take you up on that,” you replied, and he smiled. Then you leaned over the table of his goods and kissed his scruffy cheek before winking and walking back to your parent’s booth, giving him a little wave. The smile and look of absolute adoration in his eyes would be a fixed image in your mind for a while.

#sonny carisi x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #fanfic #my writing #storiesofsvufallbingo

[shreyamistry]

Requests are for hcs? Am I right? How about a conversation between Maria and Lucas when they meet for the first time?

Lucas and Maria Meeting At School Nation Wide Event

(i messaged you to clarify my rules, and we decided on scenario)

Lucas walks into the venue with MC at his side, their fingers intertwined as they looked around for somewhere in the party to go. “MC, I have to meet with a few other student presidents, catch up with you later?”

MC kisses his cheek walking off with a quick bye to find a game to play. Lucas sighed looking around, before running his hand through his hair, he hated these obligated parties to meet with other people during the weekend retreat. Lucas is so deep in thought he doesn’t realize that’s bumped into someone.

“Watch where you’re going.” She huffs, shaking some of her drink off her hand, looking at Lucas. “Well, if it isn’t the Lucas Thomas.”

“The one and only.” Lucas smiled. “Sorry, for bumping into you.”

“Whatever.” She takes a long sip of her drink. “You don’t know who I am, do you?”

“No… should I?” 

“Maria Flores.” She reaches her hand out to Lucas who accepts it with a confident smile.

“A pleasure to meet you, Ms. Flores,” Lucas replies.

“You can stop with the formal shit.” Maria says, “let’s talk like normal people at a normal school on a normal night out.”

“I’ll take you up on that offer, half the presidents here are a little much.” Lucas sighs, as he and Maria walk over to a makeshift, sitting down facing each other. “I’m surprised they let them have alcohol.” Maria rolls her eyes, shrugging.

She orders another soda and Lucas gets a water. “I wish these things weren’t so obligational. No one here wants to be friends with anyone here.” She chews on the inside of her cheek. “I wish I had a good enough reason to not show up.”

“Berry High, right?” Lucas asked, finally remembering where he knew her.

“It seems like you remember when I kicked your ass at regional debates, Westchester,” Maria smirks.

“Call it a fluke.” Lucas smiled, internally rolling his eyes. “I was caught off guard.”

“Excuses won’t get you far, Westchester.” Maria laughs, it should sound more pitying to Lucas, but it sounds playful to Lucas’ ear. “How are your parents?”

“I don’t like how much you know about me.”

“They’re geniuses in their field, everyone knows who your parents are.”

“Tell me about your parents.” Lucas states, he watches her as she considers it for a second, she rubs the back of her neck.

“My dads aren’t all that interesting. One is a detective though.” Maria starts, “but it’s nothing as prestigious as your parents. My dads don’t even care that much if I do or don’t do class president, they just want me to be happy.”

“I wish I had your parents.” Lucas snorts, leaning his elbow against the bar placing his hand on his hand. “Mom and dad don’t know any feeling other than disappointment, everything I do is never good enough.”

“Sounds like me,” Maria says casually. “I’m a constant disappointment to myself.”

“Why are you so hard on yourself?” Lucas asks. He takes a sip of his soda as Maria’s face scrunches up trying to formulate an answer to his question, she shrugs not wanting to respond to him, so he takes it as a hint to keep talking. “I mean, you’re class president and top of your class, is it even worth it? We bend over backward for our schools and it feels like they don’t care about how we’re doing just prom and homecoming.”

“Why am I trying so hard to prove myself to someone who won’t care,” Maria adds, chewing on her lip.

“Sounds like you know how I feel. I mean we take on some many responsibilities, and what do we get in return? A shit ton of work that seems too hard to manage sometimes.”

“I mean there’s always focus pills.”

“Maria!” Lucas scoffs, pushing up his glasses refusing to look at her. “No.”

“I don’t use them, but they’re there.” Maria looks into the crowd. “His price is $30 a pill, hers is $20. That girl..” Maria points out a redheaded short girl whispering with a guy who looks a little pale, “steals the pills so she sells them $5 a piece and makes a fortune, which she slips into her school budget. Some of these people are so ruthless.”

“How do you know all of this?”

“Loose lips with vodka breath.” Maria shrugs. “Someone tried to ruin my homecoming. This asshole who knows how to do nothing, but stir up trouble crashed, Frank the Tank come to our rescue.”

Lucas laughs, “If you think that’s bad. Try on for taste, skeleton moss dog creatures and a homicidal ghost of a best friend from childhood trying to murder you and your friends, pretty sure without MC we’d be dead.”

“What?” Maria blurts out, shocked. She turns her full attention to what he was saying. “How stupid do you think I am?”

Lucas smiles. “I mean if you want proof do some research.” Maria grabs a napkin scribbling down her number before thrusting it into his hands. 

“Fine. Text me so I can tell you how stupid you are when I prove your lying.” Lucas laughs at Maria’s claim. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Lucas laughs. “I mean, what you said earlier. No one here wants to be friends with anyone else here.”

“I don’t want to be your friend. I don’t have time. Also, I’m not single.”

“Neither am I. I’m not hitting on you Maria, maybe if I let my parents rule my love life I would, but I don’t know you’re nice to talk to.”

“Is your date here?” Maria asks looking to the crowd to find hers. “Mine’s right there.” She points to MC, who smiles talking to Lucas’ MC. 

“Seems our dates are friends.” Lucas laughs turning back to the bar.

“Seems like it.” Maria smiles. “Maybe we could be friends…”

“Gee, thanks.” Lucas rolls his eyes playfully, Maria punches his shoulder playfully. She runs a hand through her hair with a deep sigh.”What’s bothering you?”

“I promised MC a dance,” Maria admits. “They love having fun and being so carefree and having the time of their life and all I do is spend my time being busy.”

“It feels like you don’t have time for them..”

“But they wormed their hot ass into my fucking life.” Maria and Lucas said in unison, busting out laughing. As they settle down from laughing, they smile at each other. Maria takes a sip of her drink. 

“About those moss dog things, are they cute?” Maria asks with a soft laugh.

Lucas pursues his lips, “MC kept one as a pet.”

“You’re joking.” She smiles. “Is it friendly?”

“Oh yeah, it loves their kitten and crow and dog.” Lucas rolls his eyes, smiling. Maria scoffs with a laugh. 

“And I thought Kibble was a lot to handle. So, how do you survive a homicidal ghost?”

Lucas lets out a long huff, “Get comfortable, this story could be a novel or even a Netflix original.”

“Anything is better than 13 Reasons Why,” Maria says with a laugh, watching Lucas as he begins to describe the entire ordeal. Explaining how everyone plays together, how Jane took over for Mr. Red, how Noah sacrificed himself to the new Mr. Red after putting them in a situation to be murder. 

Finally, they begin to part ways after a few hours of talking, “Well, see you around Mr. Thomas.”

“See you around Ms. Flores,” Lucas says playfully, Maria laughs disappearing into the crowd. He pulls out his phone entering her number sending her a quick text.

Lucas: everyone plays together

“Who are you texting?” MC asks with a bright smile, placing a quick kiss on Lucas’ lips. “Replace me with a cute president already?”

“Yeah, Maria Flores is the new love of my life. MC who?”

“Shut up, jerk.” MC laughs pushing his shoulder. “Come on, you did your presidential duties lets get out of here.” Lucas checks his phone after it vibrates.

Maria: I still think Brian is the worst homecoming intruder, sorry Pritch the Witch and skeletal moss dogs.

Lucas smiles linking arms with MC leaving the party. “I’m glad we came MC.”

“Me too. I met a really cool person. They’re dating a girl named Maria. I wonder if there’s any connection between her and your Maria.”

“Guess we’ll never know.” 

(I hope you liked this)

#ilitw #choices ilitw #choices it lives in the woods #it lives in the woods #hss #choices high school story #high school story #choices hss #maria flores #maria x mc #lucas thomas #lucas x mc #Lucas/Maria #crossover choices #answered #ask #choicesaholic #scenario #brotp maria x Lucas

[ohsalome]

Romance? In my historical drama? It’s more likely than you think

Fresh out of cinema, saw Bitter Harvest today and ready to share my totally unbiased opinion. The good, the bad, the dirty

No spoilers below!

Great things:

First thing first - it is a picture about a horrible genocide made to ukrainian people, which is still denied today. Having a movie about the tragedy validates our shared pain and solidifies in history that fact that it won’t be forgotten. Thank you, George Mendeluk.

The haunting death scenes. Really not comfortable with listing this as something “good”, but that would be missing the point of the movie. It is a disturbing topic, and it can’t be told without disturbing imagery. Unfortunately, that is also historically accurate

Seriously beautiful cinematography. Fantastic locations, costume and setting accuracy.

The beginning/ending parallels. You’ll know what I’m talking about when you see it

Ukrainian habits, ukrainian superstitions, ukrainian symbolism! Ivana Kupala!  

It wasn’t a genius scenario, but it wasn’t boring, which is already more than some celebrated movies manage

The beginning/ending paralelsim. You’ll know what I’m talking about when you see it

Natalka is a witch and noone convinces me otherwise

The way women were written in general. Thank you for not writing them as support cast for male protagonists, because this - this is also culturally accurate

Just...gorgeously filmed scenes of commies burning... beautiful

You see, there totally was point in filming it with foreign cast! Because all actresses already look half-starved, they don’t even need to do any special preparations!

For anyone complaining that “actors have british accents” - we also don’t speak english, genious. If you think you get kudos for making a fake slavic accent, you really don’t. It always sounds horrible, so thank you for not ruining it with cringey “ukrainian”.

The not-so-great things:

Even though I said the cultural aspects were accurate, they don’t actually correspond with proclaimed location of the events, and looked much more western regions. Сіріуслі, де мої мазанки? (I think they filmed in Pyrogovo, which is near Kyiv, but still... мазанки...)

The cliche gods must be well satisfied with the movie, because there was a FUCKING LOAD of them. If every time the cliche occured a ukrainian was fed, there would have been no holodomor in the first place

The colouring in Stalin scenes looked unsettling. These cyan/yellow overtones were probably supposed to mimic the old-time footage, but it looked fake af

Women had to look attractive for modern viewers - with plucked eyebrows, mascara and neat manicure. FYI, we didn’t do it at that time period

Everybody can afford to have shoes smh

The usual american bazillion cuts per minute style. Idk why directors keep on doing that, literally everybody hates it

Missed opportunety for cannibalism mention. Because that also happened and they could have pulled it of with the movie rating

Since it’s an american movie, of course somebody had to vomit

Random trivia fact: Russian title for the movie is “Урожай дьявола” (Devil’s harvest) and for once I can forgive them bizzare title translation

The quirky-spoilery:

А наші, як дибіли, з шаблюками проти рушниць. I’m not even mad, it is historically accurate

I can’t believe they managed to pull “CAN YOU DRAW ME” meme into this and make it relevant to plot

You don’t!!!! Have to make!!! Your female characters!!! Pregnant!!!! To make audience care!!!!! There is genocide going on!!!!! It is already dramatic!!!!! It is practically impossible for her to have concieved anyway!!!!

It isn’t a ukrainian thing if Shevchenko isn’t mentioned

#bitter harvest #гіркий врожай #movie reviews #ukraine #ukrainian #україна #as always when posting anything in ukraine tag - i am ready for hate!! just hit me up anytime!