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pippin-katz · 9 months

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RWRB Essay Part Seven: Intimacy

Word Count: 867

I was absolutely blown away by the intimate scenes in this movie. I'm demisexual, on the the ace-spectrum, and I am not personally a fan of sexual content in film. This is mostly because it's usually poorly executed, unnecessary, or over-the-top. It pops up in places it doesn't need to be, and makes me roll my eyes or get pissed off.

Part of this frustration undoubtedly comes from my bias as part of the queer community, and I'm willing to admit that. I've developed a slight bitterness towards most portrayals of straight couples in media from it being shoved down my throat my entire life.

It was new for me to see intimate scenes with a queer couple, or rather a gay couple specifically. I have encountered lesbian sex scenes, like in Wynonna Earp. However, I had never seen two men together. I think the reason for this difference is fairly obvious, as it's been widely known for some time that lesbians are very often fetishized by straight men, who are unfortunately the majority of higherups in Hollywood. It is far more likely to have a straight executive sign off on a lesbian sex scene than a gay one, because to them, women together is "fun", while men together is considered "uncomfortable".

This is not to say that gay men aren't fetishized, because they unfortunately are too, but only to point out the disproportionate amount of lesbian intimacy vs gay intimacy in film.

The point being that I had never seen two men be intimate with each other on screen. I was nervous going in because of my issues with most sex scenes, but there was something magical about how they handled them in this movie.

Like I said, I hate when sex scenes are tossed in for no reason, but in the case of Alex and Henry, it is a core part of their relationship and its development. It was the first time I watched a sex scene start without going "here we go with the sex" with a sigh. Their sexual dynamic is part of their dynamic as a whole, that is a key element in becoming closer and understanding each other more.

The thing is, I say all that knowing that there is still a lot of "gays being horny" moments in the book, some of which making it into the movie. What was wonderfully done about that though was that the fast and aggressive encounters were limited. They didn't show any further than making out and the motion of taking off pants. All of those horny moments were handled perfectly to provide the right amount of comedy and yes, sexiness, without shoving it down our throat (pun not intended).

I personally don't need to see a guy giving another guy a blowjob in a romantic comedy film! Ace-spectrum or not, if I wanted to see that, I'd go to a porn website like everyone else. Romance and pornography are not the same thing! Having them go far enough for the viewer to know what they were doing without showing it was perfect.

That brings me to the sex scene. Yes, the work of art that is their first time in Paris.

I said before that a lot of sex scenes make me annoyed or roll my eyes, because most of them are just thrown in for the sake of playing to their audience. In this case, this scene was not for the audience.

I've seen several people say this, and I have to agree, that watching that scene feels like you're intruding on something very personal and it is the truest example of intimacy I've ever seen. It's the most graphic scene in the film, yet it does not show the graphic parts, if that makes sense. Yes, they're naked, and you know what they're doing, but they don't film them in a way that made me uncomfortable, aside from feeling a bit bashful because, I mean, have you watched the scene?

There's no showing of their genitals or private areas at all. It's almost entirely focused on their faces, and the few cuts to their bodies only include Henry's hand on Alex's back and shoulder, in his hair, and the two of them holding hands. This is because they're not just "having sex", but as Henry put it "making love". Yes, that's a bit of an old fashioned way to put it, but it makes far more sense than simply saying it's a sex scene.

It's not just "two characters have sex whoo!". They're not crazily fucking like porn stars. They're clearly going slow and cherishing each other. It's almost impossible to put into words how intimate the scene feels and how not like a sex scene it feels despite being one. There's only some soft instrumental as the background as well, not some pornographic moaning and whatnot that you might find in other movies or shows.

This is all coming from a demisexual who has no interest in sex and gets genuinely annoyed with how often it comes up in film. That is how different this scene was. Their intimacy coordinator, Robbie Taylor Hunt, deserves a huge bonus.

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#red white and royal blue #rwrb #rwrb movie #rwrb thoughts #rwrb spoilers #alex claremont diaz #taylor zakhar perez #henry hanover stuart fox #nicholas galitzine #matthew lopez #robbie taylor hunt #firstprince #history huh #bet we could make some

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raayllum · 2 years

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I wish Tdp got even half the attention Toh gets

Yeah, it's one of those shows where it's good, but not particularly spectacular. I get why it has that reputation among fans and why the fanbase is so large (more thoughts on that here & why i think the show has resonated so much with teens good and bad - and honestly like, good for them! I've just been past that stage in my life for a while now, if I was ever there at all) but it's... just not that different from anything else on TV. It has a lot of tropes from Gravity Falls, isekai in general (overlap with Amphibia, which I liked a lot better), I can't speak to "little witch academia" but I've seen that mentioned a lot...

There were like 3-4 episodes in S1 just centred on the "character A lies to save face but then the truth comes out, oh no!" plot line about the importance of being honest with your friends and true to yourself and it's... again, not bad, I've just seen all of it before and in better executed ways

For example: one of the things I really appreciated about Amphibia was the level of worldbuilding as well as the framing even of the initial episode, where we're planted (pun intended) in Sprig's POV of viewing Anne (the human) first, rather than the traditional trope of it being humans looking in on 'outsiders' and the show kept up this really refreshing aspect throughout tbh

In terms of queer rep “Dead End: Paranormal Park” has my favourite as a trans queer person in terms of being explicit and actually talking about the feelings that come with being queer across multiple characters (going to the gym as a trans person, dealing with an accepting but flawed family, changing family dynamics and perception of itself and explicitly how queerness affects that) rather than living in a sort of normalized limbo... whereas something like TDP is purely normalized, so it’s not trying to have its cake and eat it too. It knows how to pick its formation and stick with it

One of the things I also appreciate the most about TDP is how much it feels like it's pushing boundaries - the large scale epic battle in 3x09, pushing ethical issues, its consistent discussions of grief. It reminds me of how much ATLA reset things when it came out in the early 2000s, and TDP possibly doing something similar as it also builds on the last 15+ years of how much kids' animation has changed.

But yeah my feelings with TOH can be summed up as "when it's good, it's fine; when it's great, it's genuinely great" as well as video comps of Luz saying "This mama is ready for trauma" followed by the show's sadder / scarier scenes and there are... barely any (like maybe 1 minute or so's worth, although that might change with S3 coming out). Mostly because I was like "Oh maybe I could make a similar comp for TDP" and then realized just how much work that would be because there are so many genuinely devastating scenes, even in early s1. I'm also trying to think of if something like TDP in terms of its timeskips has been done very often in Western animation in the past decade outside of (young justice reboot?) the HTTYD franchise, and I don't think so

We just don't tend to get a lot of epic sprawling fantasy worlds in TV outside of a handful (Witcher, GOT, etc) and even fewer made for kids. I'll always appreciate how hard TDP commits to a more serious, serialized tone and examination of trauma/grief head on, as well as the quality of its worldbuilding and juggling of its ensemble cast

#tdp #the dragon prince #toh critical #sort of?? i just don't think it's perfect #me hissing every time gus and willow get sidelined lmao #thanks for asking #anonymous #once again i am asking people to watch dead end paranormal park on netflix #my recs

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dearmahiru · 6 months

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for ask game: 1, 2, 4, 11 for Mahiru and 3, 5, 6, 11 for Kotoko 💕

oh my hello hello!! for mahiru, i've answered 1 + 2 + 11 here and 4 here

3. favorite non-mv official illustration?

i know i call kotoko handsome and cool and my husband every sentence but also. she's handsome and cool and my husband. gorgeous gorgeous woman!!

5. favorite voice drama line/moment?

OH I WISH WE HAD YONAH because i know there's going to be some amazing relevations there but if i must be constrained to task....

Kotoko: "Yes. I hate evil. Hurting innocent people with violence, taking away from others, killing people… I hate all this evil behaviour! The law being unable to judge some sins, there's too many of these cases in this world. Having clearly bullied and torturing the weak, but exploiting loopholes in laws, there's so many sinners who still live in such a carefree manner! Even though I want to change this world, I alone only have this much power."

i'm a huge massive sucker for characters who embody justice (hence why i immediately latched onto fuuta) so this little monologue always has me kicking my feet. she's our guard dog, she's our fangs, she'll protect those she deem weak whether they like it or not. i can see the red flags but it's so easy to get swept up in her line of thinking, and i think all of her flaws are just so beautiful.

6. favorite relationships with another character in the prison?

this is a hilarious question for kotoko because all of her relationships suck. she beat up half of the prisoners, will absolutely throw down with shidou and kazui (pun intended), and is disconnected from mu and haruka.

but to answer your question, i am forever a huge fan of the kotokoto combo 💥💥💥

they're so insanely funny to me. you'd think the social, pretty-boy with an easy going personality and the handsome goth ice queen would naturally clash but not genuinely vying for eachother's deaths.

kotoko's like "hm, sure i'll wish you happy birthday" and then a month later is perfectly happy to execute an elbow drop on him. i mourn the a universe where they actually developed a friendship but for now i'm just delighted by them. the sillies (gone wrong) (gone violent) (the police were called)

11. what are your favorite points about their story and the narrative surrounding them?

ohhh there's so much stuff but kotoko's the most elusive character right now without her second mv. but if i had to praise her storytelling then the reach kotoko's influence has never failed to astound me.

the reason fuuta claims we're the same is because, through a group effort, people were seriously and almost died. if kotoko never attacked anyone, would he say this or would he have an easier time accepting his verdict?

a huge factor for shidou's innocence was so he could save the guilty prisoners. i wonder how seriously warped his music video would've been without this purpose spurring him on. like yuno and kotoko, i don't think he would've accepted his verdict and his self-loathing would only grow.

and a big factor contributing to the friendly atmosphere of the prisoner was the social prisoners chipping in their effort. it's already confirmed that mahiru would have made friends with amane if either weren't unwell, and she would probably have tried to keep things cheerful once more.

even if we do place a metaphorically place a muzzle on kotoko in trial three, i can't help but wonder what kind of domino effect it'll have!

#talk about kotoko without simping over her (challenge failed immediately)#thank you for the questions anon!! :) it's always lovely to discuss the other characters #♡. cinnamon lovemail

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agent-cupcake · 3 years

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Can I ask your opinion? So, I feel like everyone into 3H is in love with Dimitri, but I can't connect with him. I don't dislike him, but I feel like there isn't much to his personality without all his various mental health issues. It's hard to get a feel on what he's really like, so I end up just seeing him as a walking ball of trauma and not a three-dimensional character. Do you have any thoughts on Dimitri himself and how to separate him as a person from his psychological issues? Thanks!

Hmm, I guess my first thought is that everyone resonates with characters differently and so if you don’t particularly feel connected to him, that’s not wrong. Fictional parasocial relationships are very similar to real-life relationships, so it follows that nobody is going to like every character. I can’t say that a portion of my love for his character doesn’t come from his mental issues because that’s something I personally relate to and feel drawn to in others. That’s just who I am and how I build relationships. There is also something to be said for the unavoidable way mental illness informs a person’s behavior and character, it’s as much an aspect of them as being born with blond hair or losing an eye.

That said, I will do my best to explain why I think Dimitri is wonderful. Not in spite of his mental illness, but because I don’t think that’s all he is.

So, Dimitri is, as he says, a very clumsy person. This unfortunately extends to his social skills. He has a lot of very socially awkward tendencies and a general lack of self-awareness. This contrasts with his innate desire to please people, or at least avoid upsetting anyone. The thing is, Dimitri doesn’t always completely understand what upsets people or how exactly they might feel. His childhood isolation left him rather emotionally unaware and desperate for the acceptance and approval of others. That’s not to say he doesn’t try to understand other people’s feelings, but it’s not an intuitive process. He has a habit of saying kind of dumb or uncomfortable things out of nowhere, which is most likely his real feelings coming out in rather inept ways. He means well, but he’s just so dang clumsy.

The desperation to be included and validated I mentioned, I think, can be seen in the way he tries so hard to make the other Blue Lions see him as a peer and equal all the while keeping himself rather closed off from them. Dimitri approaches conversations as a means of focusing on the other person, trying to make an appeal to them rather than as an interaction where both parties could be seen as vulnerable. Of course, just like most other socially awkward introverts, he opens up when he feels closer to the person, but that takes a while. Gotta unlock the supports, you know? Although it’s not necessarily obvious, his incredibly stiff behavior (especially pre-timeskip) and the way he switches between overly formal and awkwardly friendly in his interactions with people as he tries to figure out how to socially and emotionally navigate relationships really gives me the impression of someone trying desperately to fit in without even the faintest clue of how to actually manage that. He also does his best to avoid social situations, which, mood. Basically, Dimitri’s a big dumb massive introvert trying to act like he’s not.

FURTHERMORE, he is a dork. An absolute goof of a person. Dimitri canonically thinks so-bad-its-good puns and jokes are hilarious. His own style of telling jokes is saying things that may or may not have contextual humor in a normal voice and then claiming after the fact that he intended it as such. Now, his supports with Alois are absolute factual proof of the so-bad-its-good humor, but might I also direct your attention to the scene before the battle against Miklan in Conand Tower (the event name is “Tower in a Storm (Blue Lions)”). Basically, Gilbert is explaining the history behind Conand Tower and Dimitri says, in an incredibly earnest voice, “You’re very well informed, Gilbert. Please, tell us more.” This is a joke. Supposed to be, at least. The delivery is somewhat emphasized, but not in a recognizably sarcastic way. Gilbert, who knew Dimitri very well when he was young, realizes it’s a joke after a second. But there are other things Dimitri says that I believe are his bad “jokes” and since nobody knows him well enough to tell, they don’t call him on it. There’s no proof, but his line in the Lord’s intro where he says, “And here I thought you were acting as a decoy for the sake of us all.” to Claude has to be an attempt at sarcasm. Dimitri is oblivious, but not stupid. In his Goddess Tower conversation with Byleth, when discussing the topic of wishes, he says, “Perhaps it would make more sense for me to wish that we’ll be together forever. What do you think?” In a completely normal voice. Following are two speech bubbles of “...” before he laughs and proclaims that it’s just a joke and that he’s getting better at telling them. Now, this is a two-parter because I see this as both his horribly awkward tendency to say things he feels without thinking too hard beforehand as well as his silly deadpan style of “jokes”. Granted, he does apologize. Dimitri’s got socially awkward zoomer humor. It’s endearing.

Here is a video of Dimitri hitting on Byleth pre-timeskip. I’m not sure how far it goes to endear someone to him, but the mostly awkward and occasionally smooth attempts of Dimitri’s flirtations are absolutely a highlight of his character.

Now, this isn’t quite as cute as all that, but I think character arc and change do a lot for making a character feel more three-dimensional. Dimitri is hypocritically selfish. Although those are both negative terms, I don’t necessarily mean them as such, at least not in their totality. Both are things to overcome, which he does. And that’s why I feel like they’re a valid point of discussion when trying to explain the allure of his character.

The hypocritical part comes from the way he easily allows and forgives the flaws of others while constantly castigating himself for the same reasons. He says things that show an absurd amount of a lack of self-awareness. For example, he tells Edelgard, “Hm. You will prove a lacking ruler yourself if you look for deceit behind every word and fail to trust those whom you rely on.” All the while straight-up lying to and emotionally avoiding his friends. Dimitri also tells Marianne, when she is punishing herself for putting other people at risk, “What matters is that they came back safely in the end. You shouldn’t blame yourself for that.” Really, his C and B with Marianne is an exercise in hypocrisy. The standards Dimitri has for himself are incredibly, unattainably high. He’s setting himself up for failure in that way and, to an extent, knows what he’s doing because he knows that those same standards are too much for his friends and allies to meet. He wishes to take on everything himself. But, what I find so beautiful about this, is that Dimitri eventually realizes that he can’t do that. He is not strong enough to take on the weight of the world on himself, he comes to understand that it’s something he must allow himself to share with the people who care about him. He comes to realize that, as difficult as it is to accept, he is a weak person. Despite all of his introversion and inability to emotionally open up, he figures out that having a support system and allowing yourself to rely on people who love you is a necessity. Personally, I think this message is incredibly important in real life. Watching Dimitri come to that conclusion and argue it’s importance really rounded out his arc and journey as a person. Now, the relatability of this conclusion will differ, but I don’t think it has to do with his mental illness as much as it is a fundamental aspect of growth.

The selfishness is basically outlined above. Dimitri is selfish about his pain and secrets, purposefully and selfishly driving people away because he wants to keep the burden to himself. His vice is guilt and he indulges in the pain of it like an addiction. Hatred, too, is a drug. He thinks he needs it to keep going, even though all it does is bring agony to himself and others around him. Learning to accept and let go of these feelings is, again, something I think is important and a character arc that I really love, especially when you see him suffer as much as he does. Now, the execution of this is lacking, I admit. But that’s an issue for another time I think.

I am not quite sure if I did much to change your opinion, but this is all I can think of for now. There is probably a lot more than I’ve left out because I think about Dimitri far too much to be healthy. So, I’ll leave you off with some honorable mention aspects of his character that I think are super fun:

Pre-timeskip Dimitri has his hair tucked behind his ear. He can lift a wagon by himself. In the DLC, when faced with an impossible-to-open gate, it was not muscle man Balthus who said he couldn’t open it, but twinkish teen Dimitri. He’s not really smooth with one-liners. Like, at all. Notably, when attacking Manuela post-timeskip, he says, “Perhaps I should have appeared before you holding a bouquet of flowers, rather than the weapon that will end your life.” Adding to this, at one point, Dimitri fucked up a pick-up line so badly the girl came after him. Areadbhar has a mitten on it in the Azure Moon final picture. He breaks everything. His Crest activation ability even supports this, using twice the durability of any given Combat Art. One of his post-timeskip counselor messages is, “I lived in the slums for a long time, and I saw how the people there suffered from poverty and the ravages of war. There must be something I can do to save them." His room in the academy is right next to Sylvain’s, meaning that for almost an entire year Dimitri was a single wall away from hearing whatever nonsense Sylvain was getting up to. Dimitri is the only Lord that takes the throne and doesn’t abandon his people in some form or another.

And, finally, he is pretty sexy. And that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?

#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #fe dimitri #dimitri #fire emblem three houses #FE3H #Anonymous

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stitch1830 · 3 years

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Heyy, how are you? Sorry if I'm annoying you I just want to give a little bit of my opinion about Toph as a mother.

I personally think that Lok did something very weird with their character and how they portrayed her as mother because it's difficult for me to believe that Toph would be the kind of mother to let her kids do whatever they want AND not pay enough attention to them. Like the whole issue with her parents is that they treated her like she was helpless, they didn't pay attention to her and they ignored what she wanted. So I personally don't see why Toph would do the same to her kids, like why would she kind of ignore them by not being very present and attentive.

I belive that Toph would be an amazing mother. With flaws of course, because no one is perfect.

I hope I made myself understandable, English is not my first language and it's difficult for me to express what I think even in my own language.

Btw I love your hcs and the way you think :E

Hi Anon, I’m doing well thank you for asking, and thanks for the ask! I hope all is well with you.

And not to worry! You’re not annoying me :)

First off, I love your thoughts and opinions on Toph as a mother when it comes to LOK. You are right, I too feel that her characterization is a bit off, and I’ve talked only briefly on my thoughts about this as well. I see what the writers were trying to do, but it doesn’t really come off right if we consider Toph’s background and her issues with her parents, as well as her overall characterization.

Like, Toph Beifong is one of the most observant people in the ATLA universe. She understands what people need, she can pick up on changes in mood and tell when people are lying, and she waits and listens on the other person to move to decide what her next move will be. Toph is one of those characters that other members of the Gaang open up to, and she picks up on things pretty fast for a kid.

So why would those traits/tendencies not carry over when she taking care of her kids?

Toph’s seismic sense would most likely alert her and she would know if something was upsetting Lin or Suyin, even if they didn’t say anything to her. And sure, she’s prideful, but that’s never stopped her from asking for someone’s help in the Gaang (one scene that comes to mind is when she asks Katara to correspond with her parents). She’d obviously prefer to handle things on her own, but there have been times where she does admit to fault. So it would make more sense to me if she notices the change in her kid’s mood, try and figure out what’s wrong on her own, and if that didn’t work, turn to others.

And you’re right, ‘abandoning’ her kids would not be a flaw in Toph’s parenting style. You said it—she was neglected and not seen as her true self with her parents, and that led to the strained relationship. I think it’s safe to say that she would want to do the opposite of what her parents did to raise her, and the main point in Lao and Poppy’s parenting failures was that they only saw Toph as their tiny disabled child. So, not understanding her kids wants and needs doesn’t seem right. She reads people and observes their tendencies to get to know them, and that’s how she determines how to handle a situation.

So, if Lin came stomping home one day frustrated about something, I don’t think Toph’s instinct would be “Eh she’ll figure it out, she needs freedom.” I feel like it would be more like “Okay, is Lin sad? Upset? Angry? What does she need next in order to feel better?” And maybe her execution is flawed, but I think at the very least, Toph would ask her kids what is wrong and try and determine what they need to feel better. Maybe it’s a moment to themselves, maybe it’s a conversation, maybe it’s just comfort. But she would need to ask, and then wait for a reaction to determine her next move.

I struggle to come up with an actual parenting flaw with her sometimes, only because I love her character and like the idea of her being this amazing single mom and having a family that breaks the entertainment stereotype of “If it isn’t a nuclear family, it’s gotta look broken.” I guess one that comes to mind would be that she waits and listens too much… if that makes sense. Like, if Lin or Suyin don’t react or respond in a way that engages them with Toph, maybe she wouldn’t push the conversation further. Parenting does take initiative on the parent’s end when it comes to conflict and problems, and I think for those situations, Toph would rely on her earthbending tendencies and wait for the problem to approach her, and then she’d face it head on. An example I can think of is that Lin would prefer if her mother came to her about stuff, especially praise, and maybe since that’s not something Lin would explicitly state or something that Toph can feel, that need would go unnoticed if that makes sense.

Those are my thoughts, hopefully they make sense! And I agree with you, sometimes it’s just so hard to convey feelings and opinions into writing. Lol and I’m sure my thoughts are flawed just because I love Toph’s character so much, but I think she would be an awesome parent, and it’s a shame we don’t get to see that. I do enjoy reading metas about why Toph was portrayed as a bad parent, it helps give me some perspective on character creation and what makes them dynamic. But in my purely self-indulgent ATLA world, Toph ROCKS (pun intended) and she’s a great parent we take for GRANITE (okay I’m done now lmao).

Thank you again for the ask, and the kind words! I’m glad someone out there also likes my HC’s and thoughts lol! Feel free to send in more asks; I especially love a good question/HC about Taang, Zutara, or Sukka lol (also I'm off work today, what else am I gonna do haha).

Hope you have a great day :)

#toph #atla #mama toph #lin #suyin #my asks #thanks for the ask!#toph was a good mama okay?#at least in my head lol #who need canon hahaha #also wow I like to ramble #sorry

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clumsyclifford · 4 years

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i don't know if it's rude to request more than one thing (i hope it's not) but "44. Tender kiss" with jalex? -fiancee

oh my god so happily, fiancee. this fic is the result of me listening to my we’re gonna be alright playlist (actually now it has a fun new name but that’s not important). would like to say for whatever it’s worth that i looked up the definition of tender to be sure i was getting the correct vibes so if you have questions you may direct them to the google definition of tender dgkjgsklj

ao3 link!

“I’ll make some tea,” Alex says. Jack blinks at him on the threshold.

“I don’t like tea.”

“Yes you do,” Alex says, but he doesn’t say it in a mean way. It’s just true, and Jack always forgets.

“Oh,” Jack says. His mouth curves into a tired, tired smile. “You know me better than I know myself.”

“I know,” Alex says gently, reaching for Jack’s hand. “Come on. Come inside.”

Jack comes easily, pliant under Alex’s touch. Alex leads them both to the kitchen, and when Alex lets go of his wrist to fill the electric kettle, Jack just stands there, looking a bit lost. “When’s the last time you swept?”

“Yesterday,” Alex says. He turns around in time to see Jack crouch down and sit cross-legged on the tiled kitchen floor. “Okay, then.”

“You should get chairs in your kitchen,” Jack says half-heartedly, leaning heavily against the fridge. His posture’s all awry, shoulders slumping over, and after a minute he shifts his legs so one is extended across the floor and the other is bent at the knee, drawn up to his chest. On this one Jack rests his chin, and finally looks up at Alex as Alex is setting the water to boil.

“Okay,” Alex says, but he won’t. Even if he had chairs, Jack would sit on the floor. There’s something about the floor that makes Jack feel grounded (pun not intended but, well, logical) — Alex gets it. Sometimes he sits on the floor, too, just to press his palms against the linoleum and absorb the chill, just to remember that he’s here, a person, feeling things. Also, it’s nice to be low to the ground, instead of towering above it like they both so often are.

“What kind of tea do I like?” Jack asks listlessly, smushing his cheek against his knee.

“Raspberry,” Alex says. “With honey.”

“You put honey in it?”

“Of course I do. You can’t have herbal tea without honey.”

“I didn’t know you did that.”

“Now you do.”

“Now I do,” Jack echoes. There’s a reverberating silence in the kitchen as the kettle becomes static background noise. Alex reaches for the cabinet with the mugs and takes out Jack’s favorite one — nothing obscene, just a custom mug Rian had made for each of them, printed with a picture of the band after Warped one year. Jack is between Alex and Zack, one arm slung over Zack’s shoulders, the other hand grabbing Alex’s face and planting a kiss on his cheek. Rian’s face is over Jack’s and Zack’s shoulders, million-dollar smile giving the photo an extra shine. Zack has his patented look of patiently controlled joy, while Alex looks elated at being kissed by Jack.

That checks out, Alex supposes. He’s always thrilled to have Jack’s lips anywhere on him.

The picture doesn’t pull him off-course. The mug goes on the counter and Alex’s usual mug — emblazoned with the Orioles logo — goes beside it, followed swiftly by the honey and two teabags.

“What kind of tea do you like?” comes Jack’s voice. Alex turns. He’s not moved at all and is just watching Alex putter around the kitchen.

“Depends on the day,” Alex says. He’s certain they’ve had this conversation before, verbatim, but it’s not like he wouldn’t humor Jack even if Jack remembered it, which he surely doesn’t. When the world grows too big for Jack, he zeroes in on the small things. Things like the kind of tea Alex likes to drink, and the chairs he does or doesn’t have in his kitchen.

“What are you having?”

“Lavender chamomile.” Alex tears the teabags open, Jack’s first and then his own, and sets them in the mugs, then turns to lean against the counter and return Jack’s gaze. “Do you want me to wait until the tea is done to ask what’s up?”

Jack takes a moment. “Yes,” he says quietly.

Alex crosses to him and crouches low. Jack’s eyes flit away and drop to the floor, where he picks at a fraying thread on his Converse. “Okay,” he says. “Are you too hot?”

Jack shakes his head.

“Cold?” Alex asks, and Jack hesitates, then shakes his head again.

“Not cold,” he says. “But if you have a hoodie, I wouldn’t…wouldn’t say no.”

“Let me grab one,” Alex says. He reaches tentatively out to brush a hand over Jack’s shoulder, then makes for his bedroom. Jack definitely has some favorites among Alex’s hoodie collection, and it takes Alex a moment to locate the most reliable one, a plain black zip-up with white drawstrings. He shakes it out and circles back to the kitchen. The kettle clicks just as Alex drops the hoodie into Jack’s lap, and Jack looks up at him, grateful.

While Jack drapes the hoodie over his shoulders, Alex pours the bubbling water into their respective mugs. It’s comforting to make tea; it reminds Alex of random Sundays at home, back before he’d ever been Alex Gaskarth, when he was just Alex, sometimes Lex, occasionally — to his mom and only his mom — Lexi. Afternoons sitting at the dining room table while his dad put the kettle on, carefully crafting the perfect cup of tea for the two of them to share, occasionally a third one for his mom also. (“It’s a splash of milk, Alex. This is a science. You’ve got to get it right. You ruin the tea, you lose your British citizenship. Don’t laugh, I’m serious. I’ve seen it happen.”)

Alex wonders how his dad would feel now, knowing he mostly drinks herbal tea when he has it at all.

The tea is done steeping by the time Alex pulls himself from his reverie; he dips the teabags once, twice more, retrieves a spoon and squeezes the excess water out of each one, then throws both in the trash and stirs the honey in.

“Are we drinking it on the floor?” he asks as he approaches Jack, a mug in each hand. Jack’s pulled the hoodie on, and the sleeves fall over his hands so he has to push them up his arms. It’s a sweet picture. Alex takes a mental snapshot.

Jack nods in response to the question, so Alex kneels slowly. A smile crosses Jack’s face when he sees the picture on his mug. “I love this mug,” he says.

“I know,” Alex says. It never tires him to remind Jack how well Alex knows him, and Jack never seems tired of hearing it.

“Thank you,” Jack says humbly.

Alex carefully seats himself beside Jack, back against the fridge, shoulders brushing. “‘Course,” he says. They sit in the quiet for a minute, both blowing away the rising steam off their drinks. Jack’s arm winds around his right leg, so Alex pulls his left towards his chest and knocks their knees together. Jack gives him a reserved smile and takes a tentative sip from his mug.

“Okay,” he finally exhales. “You can ask.”

Alex gives it another moment, until he, too, takes a small sip of his tea. It’s still too hot, and scalds the tip of his tongue, but he’d expected that. Part of the tea-drinking experience is burning your tongue on the first sip. Satisfied, Alex sets it aside for now and stares out across the kitchen. “What’s going on?”

He feels rather than sees Jack shrug, shoulder grazing Alex’s as it rises and falls. “You know.” That’s vague, but Jack always starts vague. Alex has learned to be patient. It takes patience to get to the heart of the problem, but it always pays off. Jack never wants to wallow. It’s why he shows up at Alex’s doorstep at midnight, too willing to concede to the notion that he likes tea despite having no memory of enjoying it. They’ll solve this problem tonight. One way or another, Jack will be okay in the morning.

Alex takes another sip from his tea. It’s still hot, but notably less so; in just a minute or two, it’ll be at a bearable temperature for steady drinking. Beside him, Jack sighs deeply.

“So I opened my phone,” he begins, balancing his mug out in front of him. “And I had all these Twitter notifications. Which I always do. So I don’t know why suddenly I was like, woah, that’s a lot of notifications. And, like, that’s a lot of people trying to get my attention. So I turned off my phone, went on my laptop, got a text from Rian saying he’d sent me an email with some link to something, because Rian’s like fifty million years old. You know.” Alex breathes a mild laugh. “So I opened up my email, and I had so many emails. Have you ever cleaned out your inbox, Alex? I have never once in my life cleaned out my inbox. You don’t even want to know how many emails there are.” His fingers tighten around the mug, and Alex leans gently into him, a silent I’m here and so are you. Jack breathes unsteadily out. “It’s, like, in the ten-thousands. I think. Maybe hundred-thousands and I just can’t count high enough. And, like, you know. I’m never going to get through those. I’m never —” He breaks off and a hysterical laugh escapes his lips. “I’ll never get to all the people who are trying to reach me, I’ll never have zero unread emails, I’m never going to be free from it. Neither of us will. Sorry, not to, like, stress you out about it —”

“It’s okay,” Alex murmurs, “doesn’t bother me.” And it doesn’t. Alex knows some tricks to mass-clear his inbox, and he turned off most Twitter notifications a long time ago. Jack just likes to be plugged in. Alex admires that, that he always wants to know what’s going on, what the fans are saying to him, which of them are going to thank him for saving their lives, but somewhere in the darkest point of Alex’s life he’d made the executive decision that he could know it in theory without having to know it in practice, and to date it’s one of the best decisions he’s ever made.

“Okay, well, it bothers me,” Jack says, working himself up with it. Alex flattens his palm against the top of Jack’s knee, fingernails scratching lightly against his jeans as Jack inhales. “I just don’t understand — I don’t know how to get out of it. I don’t know how to not feel like it’s going to — to crush me or swallow me up or how not to feel like an asshole for ignoring texts from people because I already have so many I need to answer that I don’t have the energy to get to the ones I want to answer.”

“Start with a deep breath,” Alex suggests, delicate. Jack does, inhaling like his life depends on and holding it until he can’t anymore, until it comes rushing out of his mouth, deflating his chest and shoulders. “I can help with the emails. There are ways to delete a fuckton at once. We can do that together.”

“Thanks,” Jack says wearily.

“You should turn off your Twitter notifications,” Alex continues, although he knows Jack won’t. “You can still check it whenever you want, but this way you won’t have it hanging over your head.”

Predictably, Jack shakes his head. “I know you say it’ll make me feel better, but I don’t think it will. I think I’ll still know there are people trying to get to me and I just won’t know exactly who, or how many, and that’s worse. That’s worse.”

“But you should try,” Alex insists. “Just see how you feel. If it’s worse, it’s worse, and you can always turn them back on. You know they’re not doing you any good like this, so you may as well try.”

Jack sighs. “Maybe.”

Well, maybe is a step up from no. Alex decides that counts as a victory. He can press the matter later, when Jack’s a little more sure-footed.

“The rest…” Alex bites his lip, pensive. “You’re not an asshole, by the way. I don’t know if I said that, but you’re not.”

“Contrary to popular belief,” Jack says, a taxing inside joke that makes Alex huff a laugh.

“Contrary to popular belief,” he agrees. “You’re just a rock star. You don’t owe anyone shit.”

“Maybe you’re the asshole, talking like that.”

Jack is teasing, so Alex inclines his head and humors him. “Maybe,” he says. “But when’s the last time I showed up on your doorstep at midnight, huh?”

“Other than to get drunk and binge-watch Say Yes To The Dress?”

Alex nudges him with his elbow. If Jack is cracking jokes, he’s already feeling better. “Yes. Other than that. My point is that you should come first. If too many people are texting you, you can ignore some of them.”

“I just don’t want to,” Jack complains. He sets his mug on the floor between his legs and leans his head on Alex’s shoulder. “I wish we could just stay like this forever and no one else existed. Wouldn’t that be nice?”

Alex lifts his left arm up over Jack’s shoulders. He plays with the cotton at the seam of the familiar hoodie. “That’d be great.” But they can’t, of course they can’t. And they wouldn’t even want to, not really.

“I don’t really want to,” Jack mumbles, as if he’s reading Alex’s mind. He turns his head to bury his face in Alex’s neck. When he speaks again, his voice vibrates across Alex’s skin. “I just prefer being with you to anyone else. In the world. Ever. I don’t know how you do it.”

“Do what?”

A shrug. “You know I’m not good with words like you. You just make me feel…I don’t know. Peaceful. Comfortable.”

Alex sighs. “Oh. Well, it’s probably because I love you.”

Jack makes an indecipherable sound and leans slightly away, picking his head up to look instead into Alex’s eyes. “Yeah?”

Alex smiles, wry. “Yeah.”

“Oh,” Jack says, as if it’s some big reveal, and not something Alex tells Jack every single fucking day. “In that case, don’t stop.”

Alex rolls his eyes and reaches up to cradle Jack’s face in his hand. “You say that like I’ve ever stopped loving you in the, like, eighteen years I’ve known you.”

The corners of Jack’s mouth tug upward. “There must have been once. I was a shithead in high school.”

“So was I,” Alex points out. “Well, I was a shithead well into my twenties.”

“Sorry, Jack,” Alex says. “I loved you then, I love you now, I’ll love you forever.”

“Big talker all of a sudden,” Jack murmurs, and Alex smiles.

“It’s an easy promise to make,” he hums, and it feels far too easy to close the gap between them, closing his eyes and kissing Jack softly, fingertips tilting Jack’s face the slightest bit. It’s hard to remember, in this moment, if they’ve never kissed before or if they’ve kissed a thousand times; Alex suspects that no matter how many times they do it, it’ll always feel like the first.

His eyes flutter open as they break apart. Jack’s stay closed; he drops his forehead onto Alex’s shoulder, and Alex presses a kiss into his hair. “Thank you,” Jack whispers. “I think I’m okay now.”

“Good,” Alex says. “You want to finish the tea and go to sleep?”

“Long as you don’t send me home,” Jack says, yawning.

Alex shakes his head in disbelief. He can’t say it, because it’s too cheesy for words, and Jack would rightfully make fun of him for it, but there’s no way Alex could ever send Jack home by sending him away. Jack says he’s no good with words; if Alex is, then the word Jack is missing is home. Nothing else could keep them coming back to each other, eighteen years down the line.

“Of course I won’t,” he says instead. “What’s mine is yours. Mi casa tu casa. You know.”

“Yeah,” Jack says. “I know.” He sits up and reaches for his tea, and Alex reaches for his own; together they take a long sip, and Alex smiles, content. The warmth diffuses itself in Alex’s bloodstream — it’s finally the perfect temperature.

#jack barakat #alex gaskarth #jalex #jalex fic #all time low #atl fic #fic #my fic #fiancee anon #god writing this felt so good #it's not really emo jalex but it's my first non-fluffy jalex #what am i saying this one is also pretty fluffy #tw for one brief passing mention of alcohol #tonight's shoutout goes to ainslee #oh wait i'm queuing this #that's so sexy and fun nobody knows when it's gonna post #well i'm queuing it on oct 30 at 4:01am #also i recently discovered you can SHUFFLE YOUR QUEUE?!?!!?#so that's incredibly sexy and i am very excited to have that as a feature #oh i wanted to share something cool about the whole tea thing in this #i watched/listened to this podcast episode from a bit lit #and this woman (i think maybe an english prof...somewhere in england...idk) was talking about various studies she was doing #about literature specifically YA lit specifically british YA lit #and she talked about the prominence of tea in british YA lit #once you look for it it's everywhere. like making tea is such a ritual in british literature #and it can serve so many purposes #it can indicate the tone of the scene (comfort or discomfort - if the tea is offered or if it's rejected)#it can move the narrative along #it can just be used to give the characters a pause to think #idk it was just really cool so!!! yeah. anyway thats all goodnight fhjflkmdskjblkmj

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is-this-manga · 3 years

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THE 101ST HEROINE

Summary: A commoner who joined a royal contest and was chosen out of pure luck and hates to stand out but stood out anyway.

Author: Menanick, STUDIO D

Score: 5/10

Part/s I liked:

The twist. Well, partly. I've read a few isekai stories and the common denominator has always been a sole FL whose goal is to avoid conflicts or death since they knew how the story would end. But not this one. Evie actually had no idea how the story would unfold despite being aware that she was reading a novel prior to her death. Another point is that I was surprised by the revelation of one of the candidates being actually one of the protagonists of their multi-volume story. That twist alone could give this manhwa plot extension and rising conflicts without forcefully dragging the story to end.

But, yeah. This has only 71 chapters and I am convinced that it's too short.

Evie. She stood out not only because of her commoner social status, just like some other series. Cliche but I love how her physical appearance smashed the stereotype. And if I remember correctly, she was the only one with that kind of hairstyle, which is why her character stuck out symbolically as well.

Part/s I didn't like:

Weak to no character development. First and foremost and I'm sorry, the execution of the ML's character. Like Dengeki Daisy, I think the author intended to make the ML's identity seem obvious. If that was the case, they should have revealed it within the first few chapters. The author put the reader in the FL's shoes initially but I personally think that that tactic failed. Otherwise, I don't see any reason why it had to reach numerous chapters before Violet's character was "revelaed". It would have been more surprising if the masked version of the ML had different physique and interacted a few more times with the characters. That way, they could lure the readers into thinking of another character.

Violet was like he skipped a large gap to arrive to how his character ended up. Numerous times, he declared that he had to play the bad guy. But honestly, I didn't see the depth of that. I also didn't see him as a partner to Evie. In fact, I was rooting for Renok and honestly, I felt like he's got more potential character development albeit rushed.

And what about Selena? She was dead set on declaring that her position was secured right from the start. But for me, there was really no final showdown between her and Evie--the latter was obviously the winner in the first place (no pun intended) because of her trump card.

Weak conflict. Violet repeatedly spoke of how he was sorry that he had to play dirty and that the crown princess was already chosen to begin with. But towards the last few chapters, I found it hard to believe that he was actually struggling. There was no scene where I felt that I could symphatize with the ML simply because I didn't see an inner battle against himself. No, he wasn't torn between his duty as a crown prince and as a lover. He simply decided that he'd choose the FL just because of one dance. And because of that, the king (who was also the primary antagonist) looked like he was just designed solely for the purpose of the story having an antagonist. There was just one scheme from him towards the end of the series but it didn't seem a dramatic climax and "final boss" to me.

I seriously think that the only thing that compelled this story to reach up to more than 70 chapters was Evie's desire to bring a revolution to the way the contest was held. There was no apparent and permanent end to the corrupted system of the contest either. That final resort served as a deus-ex-machina just so Evie and Violet could have a happy ending.

I could also overlook those random numbers at the start of the story given that Evie was the protagonist of the story (or the world) she was in. That could be her luck, but it was too much of a coincidence that her birthday coincided with the crown prince's rule of "numbers no more than 45". What frustrated me the most was his surprised reaction when Evie told him the reason behind her choice of numbers. I thought there was something significant about it that would be revealed in the later chapters but no. That was purely random of a reason so Evie could join the contest.

All in all, I didn't enjoy the romance. What got me hooked was how the formed alliance strategized to win the contest. It was more of a story about friendship and girl power to me.

#the 101st heroine #101번째 여주인공 #manhwa

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mic-and-cheese · 6 years

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Because you seem to be in a ranting mood, and the fact you reblogged that whole thing about Despair Arc, can we agree that it basically focuses on Chiaki 100% and tries to make her someone every loves but doesn't have like any interaction with at all? //Excuse me if you don't agree but this is something that I personally think//

(I am about to seriously rant about EVERYTHING I've been thinking about lately, so be warned)Yeah, I have to agree with you there. I don't really like Chiaki much to be honest, but I would be able to put up with the series being about her if it were just executed better (no pun intended jfc). Despair arc could have been better for what it was if it didn't ignore already existing character dymanics for the sake of forcing Chiaki to be a central character to everyone, despite pretty much everyone already having someone that they'd naturally be more invested in than the girl that they played video games with once (ex, mentors, family, close friends). Maybe I'm just not seeing it for what it is because I just don't connect to her. Maybe she is a good main character, I don't know, but what I do know is that it honestly felt forced to me. But that's just one of my main gripes in Danganronpa in general. It's a franchise that has no choice but to be character driven because of the nature of the premise, yet it only focuses on 2-3 main characters? I understand that the series also can't rely too much on fleshing out everyone because the majority of them are going to die anyway, but I feel like there's an equallibrium between character driven and lack of character development that Danganronpa just hasn't mastered yet? Idk the story of the games are phenominal, but the characters feel really weak sometimes? Especially when you can tell that characters have so much potential if different things had just been highlighted. Of course when I say that the first character that comes to mind is Teruteru (mostly because I'm invested enough in his character to see his potential, but I'm sure most if not all of the other characters have untapped potential). Reading between the lines of Teruteru's backstory I and many others have noticed that there's a story there about a boy who was forced to grow up too fast and didn't have the guideance he needed, all while having to deal with selfish, overachieving younger siblings who are in harmful conditions that make him feel like he has to resort to their level of sexual behavior just to feel good about himself, and hiding who he really is in the process. Sure, maybe not all of these things connect to one another in reality, but regardless of the narrative created to explain his character, there's no doubt that there's something deeper than "that one pervert character".And then there's the fate of the remnants of despair. I know it's not really on topic with the rest of my rant but I did say I'd be talking about everything on my mind, but I had hoped I could have transitioned to the topic better. Either way, I'm really happy the remnants lived! And not just because it means that some of my favorite characters lived. As nice and mushy as it would have been if the remnants just fucked off to Jabberwock Island and lived happily ever after (which Hope arc seems to communicate) I think it's good that they lived even just based on the implications of their situation. Think about it. They're going to have to live the rest of their lives seperated from their homes and (remaining) family and friends, unable to achieve their dreams that they went to Hopes Peak to fulfill in the first place. They're going to have to live with being known as nothing more than terrorists by the entire world and by those who previously loved and supported them, instead of as victims in a situation far out of their control. They're going to have to live with the fact that they committed atrocious acts against their loved ones, themselves, and the world, with some of them even having to live with the physical manefestations of those atrocities (ex. Nagito's arm, Fuyuhiko's eye, and those are just the ones actually mentioned). Not to mention we don't know the exact state that (the real) Jabberwock islands are in. For all we know, the place is a wasteland unsuitable for life? I really do want the remnants to be happy in the end which kinda contradicts everything I just said, but saying that they got off scot-free is downright false, even if it's not directly stated in the anime.And of course I can't mention the remnants without talking about the brainwashing video and Chiaki's execution too. Not gonna lie, it felt like a cop out. I'm glad that Chiaki ended up being a real person, but even through my own opinions about her, Despair arc felt like a major disservice to her character, despite how much they tried to show how much everyone loved her, because it really just boiled down to "kill off a beloved character for shock value." Maybe I could have accepted it for what it was if we hadn't been previously told that Junko corrupted them individually and they joined Ultimate Despair on their own accord (to be honest I don't remember any canon material that says or hints at Junko individually breaking the 77th class, so forgive me if I get something wrong, but that's a different topic) but at this point, DR3 just disregarded its own canon for a cop out. Now it wasn't a horrible cop out, being unwillingly brainwashed brings an interesting narrative about how they took the blame for the Future Foundation killing game despite being victims of their own unwilling actions, which I'll admit, I really enjoy from a story perspective. But on the other side, the story of the 77th class being exploited for their weaknesses and then finding the strength to reform themselves after escaping the Neo World Program is really good too!! Really my biggest issue with the canon storyline is that it felt lazy, but that doesn't necessarily mean it was. I can see them merits in its "flaws" though it's the implications of those flaws that breaks the narrative. Even though I've been ranting for a while, I don't really blame Kodaka for going the route he did. I think I see what he was going for, and though I would have preferred a story that was actually about what the remnants actually did while they were despairs (which, is also an entirely different topic) I can accept DR3 for what it is. I can say that from this rant I've noticed that Danganronpa is a series that relies really heavily on its implications due to the lack of fleshing out certain aspects, for better or for worse.Man I wish I could write like this for class

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