#(I also have... a lot of complex and interesting thoughts about idols and capitalism and the commodification of the self in general | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

Note

I.t.a (Identity thief anon)

I thought I had replied (if I did and you just hadn't post it it's 1000% fine ahshs)

I love Elliott so much!! And his crush is so cute (but also looking at the bigger picture is hilarious that I killed his would be father in law lmao) also awfullest thing pixelberry did was making me choose if I wanted to be his legal guardian or if I wanted him to be emancipated only to not have to do any of them since, you know, our grandpa was still alive...

Also I thought about it way too much for a choice (with no actual impact) in a game ahshshshhs, emotionally wise I'd have wanted to be his legal guardian but I think it'd make more sense (legally) emancipation because he would still get government help but there wouldn't be a risk of someone taking him away of in case I wasn't a successful guardian, and he could apply for scholarships more easily while I worked or something lmao I was just excited in that part.

I know there are some books in which you can be poly but the only I remember was moty (mother of the year) which was a better than expected book (to be fair I didn't goof have expectations) and in that one I started to date the three love interests <3

How far along are you in endless summer, who are you romancing, what do you think of the classmates + lila and what do you think about the story in general 👀

u hadnt replied!!!! hi i missed you!!

i didnt know u could be polyam in moty! i might try it out then, i never gave it a shot cuz i hate the idea of having kids 😬 but anything for rep i guess

and YEAH I KNOW DIDNDIDNDO i love elliot so much and him and robbie are SO cute together but damn his in law straight up tried to kill us huh. like robbie deserves better than bobert or whatever his name is and im glad to have killed him but

also okay im in the middle of the second book idnfidndidndo around the part where the arachnids show up for jake. my opinions so far are kind of messy but uhhh

grace and raj are my faves, hands down. craig is a close second

i like almost everyone except for jake because hes just military propaganda in a trenchcoat with that annoying wahh im too conflicted to care about anyone white boy complex, and aleister because he was a dick to grace. idc how much he simps for her now she deserves better than him. and Quinn is kind of whatever. like her whole personality is uwu and its kind of annoying but i dont hate her or anything

the story is such a fucking mess?? udndidn i have NO CLUE whats going on 😩 if they manage to make everything make sense by the end ill be REALLY impressed cuz damn wtf is going on

im romancing sean!!!!!! what can i say, i have a type and that type is self sacrificial idiot. he has a heart of gold and he deserves better and aaaa 😭😭 u idiot man stop putting ur life in danger as the instinctual reaction BLEASE. i just want to wrap him in a blanket and make him take care of himself for once

i also like estela a lot but im not really that interested in romancing her ig? i enjoy our moments together but my feelings for her are more casual ig

i rlly want to like lila but i cannot stand her simping for discount tony stark my god. please lord just make it end

i rlly like everyone's dynamics???? its so nice to see how the group has been growing together more and more. i love them ❤️

i LOVE the vaanti. every last one of them. my beloveds. if they tried to kill us it's cuz theyre valid

varyyn and diego are the greatest couple this game has ever given me i am SO grateful for them. i just got to their first kiss and aaaaaa it was so sweet. upset at choices for not giving me art of their kiss when i had to watch aleister and grace's but 😩 its fine im fine. holding onto hope that ill get art of them eventually but i dont want to look it up and risk spoiling myself

i actually like craig and zahra as a couple a lot too which i didnt expect. i still dont fully understand what happened between them but i really hope they work it out :(

on that note i love zahra. anticapitalist queen. cant believe she fucking hacked wall street. id die for this woman even tho she wasted tiramisu

tbh i dont wanna get off the island. like what for? to go to college? when i could stay with the cool vaanti culture and be happy and not have to worry about capitalism and have sick ass tattoos? lets just kill tony stark and stay there besties

really like how they made the MC's past a mystery? like yeah we have absolutely zero past and backstory as per usual but this time it actually is an integral part of the story that we dont know that we were born in la huerta or basically anything about ourselves truly (even tong stinky didn't so like?). and it was nice to see that being a part of the story rather than just this weird feeling of detachment from the MC

the MC is so stupid and i love him

sean and craig are gay for each other. michelle and quinn are gay for each other. i diagnose everyone with gay

i literally dont have a single theory as to what the hell is going on like not one. and i have gotten almost every clue/idol/file but like i literally have no idea how to tie all of this together. this is such a mess didndkdndkdndidn im kind of excited to see what happens because ES seems to be so popular in the fandom i can only imagine the plot is gonna blow my mind, but im kind of afraid of being disappointed

and thats all ive got so far i think? udndidjd god

#playchoices #endless summer #anti jake mckenzie #anti aleister rourke #ask #identity thief anon

5 notes · View notes

write-it-good-imagines · 4 years

Text

85% - Lim Jaebum (M)

@iwanttobejaebeomsslut asked and I provided! Hello everyone! This came as a request from our lovely aforementioned blog and I’m telling you, this was one helluva ride tho. Enough rambling, enjoy~

Synopsis: You have to give a full percentage of yourself in a relationship to make it work. Jaebum learns the hard way that any number below that is a certain cause of destruction.

Warnings: angst, smut, unprotected sex

~4.5k words

“Breaking up with someone is…yeah.”

You had just closed the door of the apartment, only to be welcomed by a small commotion coming from the kitchen. The lively sound of vegetables being diced and some indistinctive ingredients being boiled served for a false distraction from the fatigue starting to kick in. Although you had a refreshing night with your girl-friends, you had long forgotten how taxing it was to spend a full night out in the middle of the week. You kicked off your shoes and threw your backpack on the floor. An ominous feeling started nurturing in your chest.

“I don’t know. She’s probably out late with the girls… Yeah, no, I didn’t know.”

You distinguished Jaebum’s voice among the variety of little sounds mixing together. It seemed like he was talking on the phone with someone, his back turned to the kitchen door as he divided his attention between cooking and carrying the conversation. You paused your movements and leaned against the outer wall, listening in. It looked like he was talking about you.

“Distant? Yeah…no, I didn’t get the chance to tell her.”

Tell you? Tell you what? You pursed your lips. What was Jaebum hiding from you?

“Jinyoung-ah, how can you find a nice way to tell your girlfriend something like that? It’s…It’s never that easy.”

You let out a hollow chuckle and folded your arms over your chest. You felt anger swirling up in your veins. You were getting a pretty clear idea of how that scenario would eventually play out.

“Of course I will. The longer it drags, the harder it will be. Catch you later, Jinyoung-ah. I don’t want to burn the recipe…yeah, thanks.”

You peeled yourself off the wall and dug a hand in the pocket of your jeans. You threw the keys of the apartment on the kitchen table with a loud noise and it successfully captured Jaebum’s attention. The little smile he had on his lips irked you. “Is this what you have been doing lately, Jaebum?”

His eyebrows knitted together. He looked like he had no idea you overheard his previous conversation. “Doing what, exactly? I want to test out those cooking classes—“

“Let me rephrase.” You clicked your tongue. “Is this what you were busy doing while actively ignoring and neglecting me? Planning a nice and easy way to throw the break-up text in my face?”

Jaebum hissed and returned to chopping the vegetables. “It’s not like you bother paying too much attention to me either, Y/n.”

You could not believe your ears.

“Go fuck yourself.”

Jaebum slammed his knife down and shifted his body to face you. “What did you say?”

“Oh, so now you are interested in what I have to say” you laughed bleakly and shrugged your shoulders. “Should I say it again?”

“What’s with this attitude? Huh? Lately, there’s always something you don’t like, something you complain about. What the hell is it that you want?”

Every ounce of patience you had left was wearing thin. You analyzed Jaebum’s face and found nothing but outright irritation and displeasure. It satisfied you beyond measure. It was only natural he should get a taste of his own medicine. You took a step closer to him, holding your ground. “You don’t get to blame this on me. You have no right.”

Jaebum scoffed at your words and raked his hair with his fingers in an evident annoyed manner. “Of course, it’s my fault only. I am the only one in this world who doesn’t understand you.”

“You are a hypocrite.”

You stormed out of the kitchen, your breathing ragged from all the failed attempts to compose yourself. The unidentified feeling that invaded your chest as soon as you entered your shared apartment bloomed into a hurricane, sweeping all your entire being. Rather than feeling sadness, you felt a sinister rage boiling in your lungs that you knew you wouldn’t be able to tame.

You couldn’t remember the last time you enjoyed some time in Jaebum’s company without constantly feeling pressured about something. Nothing you did for him seemed to be enough anymore. You tried visiting him at his company or call him randomly when you missed him but it didn’t appear to have much of an effect on him as it did in the early stage of your relationship. You two did not talk much about yourselves, either; Jaebum was always closed off. Your last resort was giving him the space he needed to put everything in order. You should have given up altogether had you known everything was just a cheap show of pretense.

Jaebum’s heavy steps trailed after you and you had to jerk forward to avoid his touch. “Why are you always leaving in the middle of an argument?”

That was the last straw. “You want me to tell you why I am always leaving, Jaebum?” your voice was raised, probably in a desperate attempt to get everything off your chest without any hesitation.

“I am done with this cat and mouse game! I am done with you always retreating in your little perfect bubble, I am done with you always denying my calls, I am done trying to make you communicate with me, Jaebum. Even when you actually come home, it feels like there’s a ghost in my bed. I am done wondering why I am not enough for you.”

Jaebum unconsciously took two steps back, his frame shaking slightly. You shook your head softly and let your hands fall to your sides helplessly. “You’re putting your fucking guard up again.”

All he could do was look away. Jaebum couldn’t bear to listen, much less look you in the eyes. It was stupefying to hear about all of his insecurities shoved in his face. He should have figured out they would come haunting him.

“Y/n…” he began as you threw your coat over your shoulders and dug your feet into your boots. He remained silent, repeatedly trying to find something to say. And you waited, a sliver of hope still hanging on against all odds.

“You see, Jaebum,” you broke the oppressive silence instead, your tone trembling. “You cannot give someone only 85% of yourself and expect it to be enough.”

“It was hard for me, too.” He blurted out, his fist clenching. You turned away too, fearing that seeing him struggle would make you go back to square one.

After you had left what was your shared apartment in a frenzied rush, you drove mindlessly into the night, winter streets of Seoul, the fingers gripping the wheel in a futile attempt to suppress the amalgam of emotion in your ribcage. A couple of hours passed until you finally parked the car in a lot on the outskirts of the capital and crawled out of your seat. You rose your head to the sky when big snowflakes started waltzing in the air. You felt your phone buzz in the pocket of your coat and you lazily took it out. The text glowing on your screen made you break down in tears.

‘Let’s break up.’

The months that followed were undeniably hard on you. You sent your closest friend the following week to pick up your things from your old home because you didn’t have it in you to face Jaebum. The lack of messages and calls was impressive, even for the two of you. There were numerous times when your fingers ghosted over the ‘send’ button to forward a paragraph to him but you knew better than that. There was no need to tear yourself apart anymore.

It became hard to adapt to your new routine. Waking up in an unfamiliar bed and spending your time in a different house was strange. Even after winter ended and the warmth of the sun began enveloping the world, there still was an overwhelming coldness residing. It took you some time to grow accustomed to it. You loved Jaebum and you knew there were a lot of things left unsaid between the two of you but you missed feeling whole more than anything. Feeling unhappy was the last thing you wanted to remember about him and ending it, alas abruptly, was your way of keeping your fond memories intact.

Jaebum was a good lover to you. And having back the life you had was an impossible matter.

It hurt to let go because you tried your hardest to hold on and it only seemed like it wanted to get further away from you. Blaming yourself for having felt, for having wanted, it was gnawing at you. It confused you because you thought your feelings were the wrong ones all along, that you let them go and they were not reciprocated. You felt like a deplorable criminal and it was mirrored all over your existence.

Distractions were everything keeping you from succumbing to your suffering. Keeping yourself busy was the only way you’d stop your mind from wondering about Jaebum and about your own mistakes. Gradually, it grew a little easier to breathe and wake up in the morning. You started pushing the curtains apart to let the sun come through and you were slowly and steadily eating more and more. Dealing with a broken heart was a complex and tough process. You knew it was also not an unbeatable one. Once you convinced yourself of it, you managed to gather the shattered pieces of your heart from the floor. You were not ready to move on just yet but you were not wailing either.

Of course, meeting and dating Jaebum exposed you to his other idol friends with whom you grew closer. One thing you appreciated about his circle was that they were totally impartial when it came to your former relationship. Just like that, knowing someone resulted in introducing you to someone new. You liked to think people did not despise you.

In a late august morning, the ringing of your phone awoke you from your sweet slumber. You brought it to your ear, trying your best to make sense of the words spoken to you. You were asked to help organize a private pool party for one of your closest friends.

The idea in itself made you beam with excitement. Your summer was sprinkled with events here and there, mostly dedicated to you. Your circle put in a lot of effort to drag you out of the pit and you couldn’t love them more for it. It felt good to help do something nice in exchange and a pool party was the one thing you didn’t know you needed. So you were in charge of reserving the location and the mobile bar. And because you loved being a tad extra, you reserved one of the largest skybar areas which had all the requirements.

“You really invited a lot of people!” you giggled as you finished dressing with the one-shoulder bikini top. Your friend nudged you with her elbow, wiggling her eyebrows at you.

“He has a lot of friends, all right! We all needed this to celebrate the end of the summer before we go back to work. But you really went extra with this red two-piece.”

“You said it yourself, didn’t you?” you smirked and exited the changing rooms, grabbing a cocktail on your way out. “We’re celebrating!”

“That’s my girl.”

There were a lot of guests coming in, most of the people you had already met before. The crowd was thickening by the second but it was one of the few times you actually enjoyed it. You wanted to lose yourself among them so you could finally wash off the regret lingering in your heart. It didn’t take long for your group to gather and it took but a glance to agree on opening the party. All of you jumped in the pool, accompanied by roaring cheers. Others followed in after you, filling the water rapidly. The DJ didn’t hesitate to switch the music up, fueling the otherwise great atmosphere. You gathered quickly to the pool bar to down a shot and joined your girl-friends in a game of water volleyball.

“Hey, girls! I am going out to dry myself a little, I think I might turn into a siren if I stay any longer!” You announced cheerfully and got out of the pool to grab a towel. You wrapped the soft linen around your body and a group of people gathering to the entrance captured your attention. You felt as if the weight of the whole world came crashing down on you.

Jaebum and his members were coming in.

You quickly turned your back to the entrance, your features wilting. You had to grab onto the metal railing to sustain your balance. Why were they there? Why was he there?

That was an unforeseeable situation. Leaving the party would be inconsiderately rude to your friend and avoiding all of them was beyond impossible. You were at a loss for words. All the months spent moving on from the murderous pain went down the drain in mere moments. You knew you couldn’t afford to reopen such a fresh wound.

You rushed to the barman to mix you another drink. Your index trailed along the rim before you gulped it down. Alcohol wouldn’t serve as a savior but it would at least keep your adrenaline contained. People were getting out too to enjoy the snacks, the drinks or to dance to the endearing music. You put the towel on a nearby surface and meddled with them in an attempt to restrain your thoughts. The alcohol in your veins made it easier for you to lose yourself to the rhythm, along with your friends who hyped you up.

However, the stares Jaebum kept sending your way were excruciating. As soon as he laid his eyes on you, subtlety flew out the window. He was at a considerable distance from you, surrounded by countless other girls who tried catching his group’s attention, yet you caught him glancing at you so many times you lost count. It vexed you. You wondered if he had always been that shameless. It was only getting worse as one of your girls attached herself to your back to start grinding against you. The glances turned to intent stares, burning through your skin. Your eyes connected once and you recognized that singular vulgar glint in his eyes. You could only guess how many scenarios ran through his mind. Unfortunately, you weren’t one to back out from a challenge.

You hated his guts and you absolutely despised his presence there when it was meant to be a perfect summer’s end for you and your friends. You recalled the way you felt that night you left his house and all the pent-up frustration burst forth. If he was staring at you, might as well offer him something worth staring at.

For the rest of the night, you welcomed any inappropriate or daring moves initiated by your friends. At a certain point, you even started enjoying it; you forgot how much you adored having fun. It served for good distraction as Jaebum managed to slip off your mind for a while. You didn’t realize when time passed so fast and guests started retreating to their respective homes. You lost sight of Jaebum and the rest of his members, too. There were hardly any people left and you needed to cool down your body of all the intensity, so you dived into the pool to execute a lap or two.

You pulled yourself to the surface and ran your hands over your face to wipe off the water. An indistinctive sound of water splashing echoed in the distance but you paid it no mind as you swam to the edge of the pool, leaning your back against the cold surface.

“Nice party, huh?”

You felt your body tensing up at the painfully familiar voice. You opened your eyes to see Jaebum in front of you, momentarily keeping his distance. Were you wrong earlier?

“Thanks, I reserved the place.”

Jaebum laughed and it tore open a piece of your heart. The sound was so beautiful. “Figures you did.”

You nodded your head and looked away. You wanted to escape that situation.

“We weren’t supposed to come, our schedule was packed.” Jaebum started as he ran a hand through his damp hair. “I am glad we did, though.”

You chuckled. “You would have missed a great party otherwise.”

Jaebum took a step closer to you, prompting his hands on either side of your body. You tilted your head to him, your eyes lifting up to his. You clicked your tongue at his gesture.

“You know I am not talking about that.”

“God knows what you are talking about, Jaebum.” You dared. “Don’t push this. We began as friends, let’s end as friends.”

“Friends are not supposed to look at each other the way I look at you.”

You pursed your lips, your breathing coming to a halt. So you were not wrong about your deductions. You inched your face closer to his, maintaining eye contact. “You look at me like any other male would look at a female he wants to fuck. That’s not something special.”

Jaebum’s reaction was entirely different from what you were expecting. Instead of scoffing and walking away as he used to, his eyes softened, unlocking the gate to his soul you never managed to pass through. “That’s not true, Y/n. I never took you for a stress reliever. Even though having sex with you pushed me over the edge every time.”

You felt his hands lowering to your hips to pull you toward him. The tips of his fingers sent scorching sensations through your body. You kept your distance, fighting a savage battle to keep yourself contained. “Sex is the only thing we did well, Jaebum.”

Jaebum leaned over, attaching his lips flawlessly to a sweet spot in your neck that always set you off. Your fingers clenched around the edge of the pool. Giving in started to feel like a plausible solution to your problem.

“It wasn’t the only thing we did well, Y/n. Waking up to you was the most joyous part of the morning.” Jaebum placed a chaste kiss behind your ear. “Writing songs with you was when I’d get the most inspiration.” Another kiss to your jaw. “Having you by my side was the only thing I could boast about shamelessly.”

Jaebum pulled away from you altogether, saving you from eliciting a moan. He looked both sincere and sad. “Loving you was the only thing I couldn’t do right.”

“I suffered, Jaebum.” You cleared your throat. “I suffered terribly even while being with you. Do you have any idea how it is to feel alone in a relationship? I’ve loved you all alone, Jaebum. It destroyed me.”

“You didn’t love alone, Y/n.” He pleaded. “I was a coward and I was so wrong. I knew I had to work on myself first and that was one thing I had to do alone.”

“I don’t understand you.”

“Then let me explain myself properly.”

Jaebum crashed his lips against yours and his hands took a steady grip of your hips again. He pushed his body atop of yours and you could feel his hardening bulge rubbing against your lower abdomen. A sultry moan evaded your lungs against your wish. Jaebum took the opportunity to slide his tongue in your mouth, engaging yours in a carnal dance. An unexpected amount of adrenaline was surging up inside you as his tongue worked on yours ardently.

“If this is the only way to make you listen to me, so be it.” Jaebum pulled back and did not give you any time to catch your breath. He pushed his knee in between your legs, the sudden friction making you bite back another moan. “Firstly, I need you and I love you, that’s unquestionable.”

Jaebum lowered a hand to grab your ass harshly, his fingers sliding inside your bikini for a better grip. You threw your head back in ecstasy. “Secondly, I am terribly sorry for breaking up with you through text but I knew that if I saw you again, I’d break and I wouldn’t work on my issues if I had you running by my side to pamper me.”

Jaebum pulled out his other hand from the water to pull your chin tenderly to him. The vicious glint in his eyes turned you on. “And thirdly, I swear to explain everything to you so you can decide if you give me another chance or not. What do you want me to do?”

You brought a hand to his hair, running your nails on his scalp then down to his nape. You smirked at the low growl escaping his lips. “I swear to God Lim Jaebum, if you don’t fuck my brains out right now, I won’t even consider listening to you.”

You saw a dangerous smirk growing on Jaebum’s lips. His knee pushed your legs further apart and his hand traveled to your core, two fingers pushing inside of you without any prior warning. A resonant moan vibrated in the air at the desired feeling of his fingers stretching you out and Jaebum leaned over to whisper in your ear. “You never told me you were into public sex.”

“I thought you weren’t.”

Jaebum circled his tongue around one of the prominent veins in your neck, a predator steadying himself to mark its prey. “I prefer shielding you from curious eyes but I have to obey my princess’s wish of fucking her outright.”

Instead of attacking the skin of your neck, Jaebum lowered his head to your breasts, pulling the fabric of your top for access. Your nails dug into the blade of his shoulder when his lips started sucking on your breast ever so passionate. You had to steady yourself as his fingers began curling in and out of your core, the avalanche of moans coming out of your mouth filling the air.

“Jaebum…oh, right there”

Jaebum glanced up at you before admiring the beautiful colored spot on your breast. He licked his lips and attached them to yours in a fiery kiss. Your eagerness hinted at your first orgasm much faster than you anticipated. Jaebum allowed you to take the lead of the kiss so he could focus on the movements of his fingers getting faster.

You moaned into his mouth and threw your head back, holding onto Jaebum’s shoulder to grind against his magical digits. Jaebum let out a groan of his own; watching you surrender to the pleasure he was granting you, the way your lips parted with every airy sigh echoing in the air and the way your body reacted to every little gesture arose him greatly. He placed his other hand on your inner thigh to keep them parted as your warm walls clenched around his fingers. “Come on, Y/n. Cum on my fingers, beautiful.”

It didn’t take long to satisfy Jaebum’s wish; a high-pitched moan signaled your orgasm washing over you and Jaebum helped you ride it off eagerly. You barely had any time to inhale that Jaebum flipped your body so that your back was facing him. “I believe we’re not done just yet.”

Jaebum lowered his head to press a trail of butterfly kisses along the upper part of your spine that made you arch your back. He traced a finger over the scarce piece of material and you detected disapproval in his tone.

“This is very much in my way, gorgeous.”

“You’ll leave me naked if I take it off.”

Jaebum chuckled and prompted you to raise your arms so he could remove it. He draped an arm over your breasts, grabbing one of them in his hand to play with. A yelp emerged out of your chest. “Problem solved.”

He resumed his previous actions, peppering kisses over your spine that caused goosebumps to appear. He truly knew your body inside out.

“You like that?”

You hummed in approval, throwing your arm around his neck as he pressed his chest to your back. “Very much.”

“It means you will just love this.”

You bit your bottom lip in anticipation. Jaebum pulled down his shorts and guided his erection inside your wet cavern. He moaned into your shoulder, grazing his teeth over the sensitive skin at the contact he longed for. His length filled up every inch of you and you leaned forward to adjust to his size. He had always stretched you out to your limits and you could never get enough of the euphoric sensation.

Jaebum’s thrusts started at a fast and rough tempo that found an excellent angle every single time. Before you knew it, you began chanting his name like a mantra. His hand cupping your breast was only adding to the infinite bliss whirling uncontrollably through your veins. Your body reminded you how dependent you were of his touch and how he was the only one who could make you reach absolute nirvana. There was no use denying yourself anymore.

“Fuck it, Y/n, I missed you so much. I could never live without you.”

Through the rapid pacing of your breathing and the mixture of moans coming from both of you, you heard his words loud and clear. You brought his face to you to pull him into a desirous kiss in response. Jaebum added his middle finger to your clit, rubbing against it masterfully, and you had to take a grip of the edge of the pool. Your vision was getting blurry and you could no longer form coherent words because of the ecstasy exploding inside you.

“Oh, Jaebum…”

“I know, love.”

Jaebum was panting but that didn’t stop him from picking up the pace and hitting your sweet spot with every sharp movement. A well-known sensation built up rapidly in your stomach, igniting your core almost devilishly. You couldn’t hold out any longer. Your walls clenched around his thick length and Jaebum sensed it, pulling himself completely out of you before coming back in to offer you deeper thrusts. You placed your hand over his, guiding his fingers to rub your clit just the way you desperately needed.

Your second orgasm hit you violently and Jaebum had to sustain your body as you came. You screamed out his name in euphoric pleasure and the overwhelming warmth of your juices ensured Jaebum would follow closely behind. It took a couple more angled thrusts for him to release himself inside of you and an airy sigh approved of the nice feeling.

“I am sorry for that, I couldn’t hold back.” Jaebum whispered as he gently turned you to him and placed his forehead against yours.

“If there’s anything you should apologize for is me not being able to walk tomorrow morning.”

He chuckled and you circled your arms around his neck, holding on to his broad back. Your breasts were pressed against his chest, trying to cover yourself. Jaebum pulled up his shorts and guided your legs around his waist before wrapping his own arms around you. You were so comfortable with the familiar warmth his body provided. It was an abrupt turn your life took and there would be much to do to make it work but you could feel it wouldn’t be a scarce 85% again.

“Let’s get out of here.”

#got7 #got7 imagine #got7 imagines #got7 jaebum #got7 im jaebum #got7 smut #got7 angst #lim jaebum #im jaebum #kpop au #idol au #request #got7 request #so yeah get me a fan #that was painful even for me #jaebum x reader #im jaebum x reader

333 notes · View notes

passionate-reply · 3 years

Video

youtube

This week on Great Albums, I finally explain the deal with that record you’ve seen in the background of these videos, with those dudes working in the office. These dudes used to be in the Human League! Oh, and they really hate fascism. Full transcript of the video after the break.

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! Today, I’ll be looking at the debut album of Heaven 17: 1981’s Penthouse & Pavement. While you may not be familiar with Heaven 17, chances are pretty good that if you know your Western pop, you’ve heard of the Human League! Before forming Heaven 17, Ian Craig Marsh and Martyn Ware were members of the Human League--and they were also the band’s creative core. But they had a very different artistic vision, and one that doesn’t exactly prefigure the success of hits like “Don’t You Want Me.”

Music: “Being Boiled”

Between its plodding electronics and inscrutable lyricism, “Being Boiled” is pretty far from a pop hit. When Marsh and Ware left the Human League, they were keen to continue pursuing this sort of underground, experimental, quasi-industrial direction. Initially, the two of them formed the British Electronic Foundation, or “B.E.F.” It was chiefly a production company that worked with other artists, though they also released some instrumental music under this name. With the recruitment of vocalist Glenn Gregory, who Marsh and Ware had initially intended to front the Human League in the first place, they were set to get right back into the groove of what they had been up to before.

Music: “Fascist Groove Thang”

“Fascist Groove Thang” is the opening track of Penthouse & Pavement, and was one of its chief singles. While it’s much less ambiguous than “Being Boiled,” and much easier to dance to, it’s still got a lot of that subversive, underground charm--enough to get banned by the BBC, anyway. I know they always say that history rhymes, but it’s one of those songs from this era that really feels like it belongs more in our time than the one it came from. I like to think that its unforgettable chorus sounds more like a chant you might hear at a protest march, as opposed to something that belongs in a proper song. “Fascist Groove Thang” is actually based on an instrumental track by BEF, which was simply called “Groove Thang” before being reworked into this political anthem. Both versions are indeed pretty groovy, thanks in large part to the bass guitar work of session musician John Wilson. Compared to their work with the Human League, Penthouse & Pavement has an overall richer sonic palate, with more of those traditional instruments, as well as backing vocals. You’ll hear a lot of those on the album’s title track:

Music: “Penthouse & Pavement”

Penthouse & Pavement’s title track is the longest track on the album, clocking in at over six minutes. Between that, the lush instrumentation, and the honour of being the title track, it certainly feels like an anti-capitalist epic, dramatizing and dignifying the inner thoughts of a common wage-slave. The first side of the album, dubbed the “Pavement Side,” is where you’ll find both of these tracks, and it seems to deal chiefly with working-class struggles, as well as having a bigger emphasis on that bass-heavy groove, musically. Naturally, then, the flip is the “Penthouse Side,” it’s more melodic, and it seems to focus more on the lives of the rich and famous...though it isn’t quite that straightforward.

Music: “We’re Going To Live For a Very Long Time”

“We’re Going To Live For a Very Long Time” is perhaps the clearest expression of the idea of the upper classes living in their own protected bubble, shielded from plebeian woes. There’s a religious dimension to it, in that the narrator manages to live without worries because of their assuredness that Heaven awaits them when they die...but, as the title reminds us, they’re also confident that Earth will be good to them, as well. In case you were worried this message might not be ironic, the song actually stops abruptly in the middle of its final refrain, providing a sudden end for that narrator--as well as closing out the entire LP with a bang, since this is the final track! The idea of the wealthy actively taunting those beneath them is also central to the most rhythmic track of the Penthouse Side, “The Height of the Fighting.”

Music: “The Height of the Fighting”

In “The Height of the Fighting,” that march-like chanting takes center stage again, but it feels very different here. Rather than embodying a sort of grassroots resistance to the consolidation of power, “The Height of the Fighting” seems to be the voice of authority and power coming downwards, fitting the theme of the Penthouse Side. The song’s assertions, like “if you can’t take it, fake it” and “they sent you to it, do it” could be interpreted as pithy, meaningless sayings--perhaps throwaway lyrics, taking up space on a single aimed squarely at the dance floor. However, if you know the context of the Penthouse Side, it’s hard not to see them as representations of the worthless advice the rich often give the poor. Get a job. Get a side hustle. Work harder. Eat out less. And so on. Much like the implicit messages about class in popular culture, “The Height of the Fighting” might seem disposable, but the thrust of what it’s saying is actually deeply warped. Another complex, and perhaps conflicted, track on the Penthouse Side is “Let’s All Make a Bomb”:

Music: “Let’s All Make a Bomb”

Songs against nuclear war were commonplace in Cold War-era music, but “Let’s All Make a Bomb” isn’t quite a typical example. At first, its slow pace and despondent melody make us think we’re getting the usual fare. But the return of that swelling, chant-like refrain style, as well as a closer inspection of the lyrics, reveal otherwise. As the title might imply, “Let’s All Make a Bomb” asks us what kind of character is actually crazy enough to *want* nuclear war, and the character Heaven 17 have chosen is a hedonistic libertine, who sees the end of the world as one big party. The atomic bomb is not a thing to be feared, but “a brand new toy, to idolize.” As dark as that is, the fact that it’s also part of the Penthouse Side, and ostensibly a representation of what those who hold influence and power believe, adds a whole new level of horror to it.

While I love album art, and my interest in it is the main reason I started collecting vintage vinyl, I think [the cover of Penthouse & Pavement just might be my favourite of all time. Penthouse & Pavement’s cover portrays the three members of Heaven 17 as though they were businessmen, co-opting motives like glass-paneled skyscrapers and the deal-making handshake straight from the 1980s corporate visual lexicon. They've even got cities they're allegedly based out of, one of which is their native Sheffield, England. If you look closely, there are a few hints that they’re actually a music band and not a firm, such as the reel-to-reel tape player in the upper right-hand corner, and the fact that in the lower left-hand corner, Martyn Ware is writing music in front of a keyboard. At the bottom, we also find the logo of B.E.F., which brings this grand “joke” full circle. As the “British Electronic Foundation,” they had also billed themselves as a faceless organisation, adopting a name that sounds more at home on a utility bill than an album cover. Here, the trio have done it again, in a bit of ruthless satire towards the rising “yuppie” culture of the 80s. Incidentally, the cover art is a traditional painting, credited to one Ray Smith. It wasn't unusual to commission paintings for album art at the time, but it does tickle me knowing a human being physically painted Heaven 17 as office workers. If the original ever came up for auction, I'd probably shell out for it. It would look great in my office!

Anyway, it’s also worth mentioning how the title “Penthouse & Pavement” adds to that corporate theme. The X-and-Y format recalls the names of many real-life firms and companies, such as Ernst & Young. A “penthouse” is an apartment located very high up in a tall, urban building. Such apartments are usually expensive, and are hence occupied by well-off tenants. “Pavement,” in this context, probably refers to what Americans call the “sidewalk,” the paved pathways where the less fortunate among us might walk past those penthouses, without ever getting too close. Each side functions as an ideal symbol of the kind of people it represents, and the physical gap between them is a visceral representation of economic inequality. The title is also quite pleasingly alliterative!

While Penthouse & Pavement maintains a certain underground integrity, which is consistent with Marsh and Ware’s track record as part of the Human League, it’s still much more of a pop record than anything they had done before. Heaven 17 never went quite as pop as the Human League did without them, and they certainly never saw the same level of mainstream success, but they did pursue an increasingly pop direction with their next several releases. Their 1983 followup, The Luxury Gap, delivers less of that hard-hitting critique of capital, but did produce some of their best-known singles, namely, “Temptation” and “Let Me Go.”

Music: “Let Me Go”

My favourite track on Penthouse & Pavement is “Geisha Boys & Temple Girls.” I like this track’s overall mysterious, otherworldly vibe--it’s not terribly easy to pin down what it’s really about, or what sort of mood it’s meant to convey. The intro to this song sounds more like Karlheinz Stockhausen than something you would hear in pop, and I love how strident and abrasive it is. Given its place as the opening track of the Penthouse Side, and its opening line, “look ahead, on the screen,” I’m tempted to interpret it as a representation of a fictional romance in television or film. It’s dramatic, unpredictable, exotic, and also completely fake and divorced from how people behave in the real world. The idea that entertainments and diversions are part of what shelters the rich from the consequences of their actions is another one of those things that makes this album continue to feel relevant. That’s all I have for today--thanks for listening!

Music: “Geisha Boys & Temple Girls”

#music #album review #album reviews #great albums #heaven 17

12 notes · View notes

idolizerp · 5 years

Photo

LOADING INFORMATION ON 1NFERNO’S LEAD VOCAL, LEAD DANCE JANG WOOSUNG...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: N/A CURRENT AGE: 21 DEBUT AGE: 18 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 14 COMPANY: MSG SECONDARY SKILL: N/A

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): Meongddaenam (멍때남) - short for 멍 때리는 남자 (zone out man), a slang coined by his fans to mean a guy who’s so good looking you zone out and stare at him; also used to tease Woosung for his habit of zoning out. Golden Boy - as he gets a lot of screentime, fans claim that he’s being favoured by the company. His fans call him it to mean that he’s skilled and talented at everything, while his antis use it to mock him, attributing his success to MSG giving him more screen time. INSPIRATION: Woosung has always loved dance. There is nothing he would rather do other than dance— it’s been his dream for as long as he could remember. Originally, Woosung wanted to be a contemporary dancer, the emotional and technical movements catching his interest. However, as a teenager, he decided to branch out and discovered a love for hip hop. He got scouted by chance, and decided to try branching out some more. When he discovered his love for singing, his goal switched from contemporary dance to being an idol, pouring all of his efforts into training until he was able to debut. SPECIAL TALENTS:

Speaks fluent English

Studied ballet, modern and contemporary dance until he became a trainee

Knows how to do makeup from his time as a competitive dancer

NOTABLE FACTS:

His mother was born and raised in the US and works as a Korean-English translator, so he speaks English fluently with her side of the family despite living in Korea his whole life

Has two younger half sisters from his dad

Studied at SOPA, but did not continue on to university

Joined a hip hop dance academy and was scouted out of pure luck only two months after joining

Has an interest in choreographing, but is only comfortable with contemporary routines at this point

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

Woosung really wants to improve his skills, focusing on honing and refining them. As the lead dancer in a performance heavy group, he feels a lot of pressure to look good onstage. While he is a skilled dancer, the majority of his training is in a completely different area, and he still feels that his movement quality doesn’t quite fit 1nferno’s concept, that he lacks the power and strength in his movements necessary for their choreography. He also wants to take his vocals to a higher level, as he feels like the difference between himself and their main vocal is a really significant one. He knows he has the charisma and presence to warrant a large amount of screen time, but he wants his skills to match.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

Woosung loves performing, but the reason why he’s in the idol industry is for the money. His mother did absolutely everything for him growing up, broke the bank trying to provide the best of the best for her son. He wants to be able to pay her back, buy her a nice house and let her live comfortably. Once he hits that point, he plans on stepping back from the idol industry quietly, simply by not renewing his contract at the next renewal opportunity. After that, he plans to devote himself to dance entirely, perhaps as a choreographer with MSG or a teacher at his own studio.

IDOL IMAGE

On stage, Woosung is a captivating performer. Explosive energy and charisma, a coordinated dancer and stable vocalist, with a cute yet handsome visual to boot. He’s magnet on stage, someone who fans’ eyes are drawn to despite not being the best dancer or vocal in the group. He can handle the experimental concepts that MSG throws at 1nferno and is able to take most of the intense concepts in stride, finding it not terribly difficult to get into a character and convey the appropriate image onstage.

Offstage, however, Woosung is incredibly different. Having a naturally meek, introverted, and insecure personality, he tends on the quieter side during interviews, lives, and other social situations, finding it hard to talk and share his opinions. MSG pushes him as a chic, artistic personality, capitalizing on his contemporary dance training as a testament to his artistry and emotionality. It’s an easy role for Woosung to play, as someone who is much more comfortable staying quiet regardless of his image. During public appearances, he tends to let the stronger personalities in the group take over, chiming in rarely and even then, it’s usually only when he’s directly referred to or asked a question. Some fans complain about this behaviour, calling him cold and distant from the other members of the group, but his dedicated fans claim it’s because of his emotive side, reasoning that he’s one to read the situation and observe in order to match the others involved, rather than take charge of things.

When Woosung does speak, he’s surprisingly insightful despite his shyness, a delight to both fans and the company. He’s the type to consider unusual perspectives, without being strange enough to be labelled as a 4D personality. He’s thoughtful and considerate, easily able to gauge the needs of others around him. He does have his spacey moments, though, tending to get lost in thought. Thankfully, it’s more endearing than frustrating, and is marketed as simply another aspect of his emotionally-tuned personality.

IDOL HISTORY

1998.

Jang Woosung has always been a boy caught between two worlds, even from birth. He is born on January 26, 1998 to a Korean father and a Korean-American mother, and given two names— Woosung, a Korean name given by his father, and William, an English name given by his mother. Neither quite fit, each one missing a component of the other, and as Woosung grows up, he comes to resent them both. His English name as a target of ridicule, the label of gyopo, his mother’s roots in America. His Korean name as a cover up, trying to conceal the other half of him; but also, as a constant reminder of a father who left him, who gives him that name before leaving when Woosung is less than six months old. His mother has already established herself in Korea, has already planned a life here for her son, so despite being alone, she stays, intent on raising her son like she had planned, just without Woosung’s father. And so she does, the two of them in a tiny apartment in Ilsan, an infant Woosung crying for a father he wouldn’t even remember.

2001.

There’s no reason for Woosung to attend nursery school. His mother’s job as a freelance translator means she can work from home, balancing her responsibilities for work and responsibilities as a mom. They don’t go out much, simply stay safe in their own little world. Woosung’s mom is all he needs, and his mother is happy to provide. That is, until Woosung turns three, and his mother takes him to America to meet his grandparents. Look at him, Mia, they tell Woosung’s mother. He never leaves your side. He doesn’t talk to his cousins. He hardly plays at all. He keeps to himself too much. He doesn’t know how to socialize. What kind of adult will William be if he doesn’t learn how to act as a child?

And they’re right. Woosung is withdrawn, looks at others with fear in his eyes, holds onto his mother’s skirt wherever they go. So, as soon as she gets back to Korea, she enrols him in the first activity she can find that will take three year olds— a ballet class at a studio just a fifteen minute bus ride away. Woosung cries during the first class. He cries during the second. He clings to his mother and begs her not to go. She hushes him, gives him a kiss on the cheek, tells him that if he goes to the class, tries his best, acts like a good boy, they’ll get ice cream later. Isn’t that nice, Will? Wouldn’t you like that?

This is where everything begins.

2003.

Woosung excels in his ballet class. He takes it very seriously, practices at home, hums the complex classical melodies even when class has long ended. He doesn’t become the most talkative kid in the class, not by a long shot, still insecure and devastatingly shy, but he comes out of his shell a bit, shares short sentences with a few of the other kids in his class before and after their lessons. I want to be a dancer, he tells his mom, and he’s good enough, loves it so much that she kisses his head and says of course, Will, whatever you love to do is something worth doing.

But then, Woosung starts school, and the bullying begins. In his dance classes, the other children were too young to understand what it meant when Woosung spoke another language with his mother, and they spent too little time with him to be bothered by it. The children at school, however, understand the difference. They realize that Woosung is different because he speaks a language that isn’t Korean with his mother, because the food he eats for lunch is a bit different from theirs, because he has two different names on his report. So they tease him, pick on him, call him a foreigner, a gyopo, a fake Korean. Woosung’s personality doesn’t help him either, his shyness and lack of interest in anything other than dance making him an easy target. It never progresses beyond name-calling, but it hurts just the same, presses down on Woosung until he withdraws entirely, speaks to hardly anyone. It’s then that he vows to never use his English name again.

2007.

It’s not until Woosung is nearly ten years old that he meets his father again. They never talks about him much, Woosung and his mother, and he would never visit— he lives far from us, Will, it’s hard to get here from Busan. Woosung was never able to forget him, though, reminded of his father’s existence by the cards and small pockets of money that double as birthday gifts and seollal presents. But one November day, when Woosung gets home from school, his mother tells him (in a voice so quiet, nearly sad, your father wants to visit you, William) and Woosung stops.

His father is tall, intimidating, dressed in a suit when he drives up to meet Woosung. (Even that detail is strange to Woosung— his mother has never had a car.) He takes Woosung for dinner, to a restaurant with food that Woosung doesn’t like but chokes down anyways because he’s scared of seeming impolite. He finds out he has sisters— two of them, aged five and two— that he’s never met or heard of before. Woosung, talking for the first time since his father picked him up, asks how they can be his sisters if they don’t have the same mom. His father doesn’t answer, takes him home twenty minutes later.

Back inside his house, the small apartment he shares with his mother, he feels like he’s back in the safe zone. But there is no safe zone anymore, the influence of another world with his father weighing on Woosung even when he’s alone with his mother. And so he withdraws into himself even further, stumbling along the line between two contrasting worlds that he must exist in at the same time.

2011.

Woosung dances every day, now. He’s moved on from ballet, branching out into contemporary, modern, other styles of dance that make use of his lithe frame and flexibility. He finishes school each day and goes straight to practice, logging long hours at the studio, coming home well past sundown and still slaving over his homework. He doesn’t do great in school, but his mother keeps on him, tells him it’s good to have a backup, Will, what if you get injured and you have to stop dancing? It’s a thought that scares him immensely, but he trusts his mother, so he tries his best, forces himself to keep going, stays up well into the night just to keep his head above the water.

But the lessons are getting expensive now, the older Woosung gets and the harder he pushes himself. He starts competing— starts winning, bits of money here and there, small scholarships to workshops— but the costs rack up. His mother is alone, just her and Woosung, and while his dad visits sometimes, he never provides. So it gets harder to put food on the table, harder to pay the bills, and the night that he notices his mother not eating simply because there isn’t enough food, Woosung breaks.

For the first time in his life, Woosung reaches out to his father. It’s not like Woosung has never contacted him before— since Woosung met him four years ago, he makes sure to message him on important days to wish him well, like his father’s birthday, or Parent’s Day. He’s a good son, polite, and he never asks for anything, never asked until that day, when he meets up with his father and asks him for money.

His father doesn’t agree. His father denies him vehemently, once he finds out what the money is for. He’s fuming, yells at Woosung, I already have two other kids to provide for, and you have the audacity to ask me for money for a hobby? For ballet? I won’t support something gay like that.

It’s the first time Woosung hears the word gay like that— used to describe something he loves so dearly, curled up into the seat of his father’s car, his head down and tears in his eyes. He’s heard it snickered behind his back in school, as he got older and the bullying had turned from shouts and jeers to things more subtle. I heard he dances ballet. And he’s never had a crush on anyone, he’s never even talked to any of the girls in our grade. Do you think he’s gay? It still hurt, a lot, his heart aching at each comment, but it was easy enough to tune out, used to it after eight years of snide comments and insults— but this is the first time he hears it so directly. He doesn’t realize why it would be a bad thing, his mother always telling him gently it’s fine to like what you like, as long as you aren’t hurting anyone. But from his father, it sounds bad. It sounds wrong. Woosung doesn’t even know what he likes yet, doesn’t know if he’s gay or not, but it plants the seed then— he can’t be gay, not if he wants to be loved.

Woosung goes home and cries, locks himself in his room, presses his face into his pillow and tries not to make himself as small as possible in hopes that he might disappear. He deliberates it for days, stays up all night thinking. The thought of quitting is unbearable, but there’s no way he can let his mom keep doing this to pay for his dance. After a few days, an idea comes to him, risky yet seductive.

If I get accepted into a good company for my dance, will you help mom pay for it? He texts his dad, too scared to ask him to his face after last time.

His dad agrees.

2012.

Woosung gets scouted less than three months later.

He’d cut out his ballet classes, cut out modern and contemporary, switched to something that people would be interested in him for. Something that people wouldn’t call him gay for. He joins a hip hop academy, fills his time outside of school with that. He learns the basics voraciously, dedicating every second of his time to be able to improve as fast as possible. He doesn’t have the power and swagger that the other dancers have, but he’s toned, coordinated, and expresses feelings well onstage, uses all of it to his advantage to put on a good performance. He tries his best to fit in, to not draw any criticisms, feigns confidence like it’s his job. Two months after he joins his academy, they put on a public performance, and someone in a suit approaches him as he leaves the venue. I work for an entertainment company, they tell him, but Woosung doesn’t hear anything, only sees the MSG on the business card they hand him. We’re looking for new trainees right now for an idol group. You should audition.

Woosung does. He goes to the first audition he can make it to, forks out the little bit of money he has saved to travel to Seoul for it. A week later, his name is on the contract.

2015.

Trainee life is exhausting. As much as Woosung wanted to leave school, dedicate every minute of his life to dance and performance, his mother and the company wouldn’t let it happen. He enrols in SOPA with the companies help, in the Department of Practical Dance, goes to school and study only to train into the wee hours of the morning. He moves into the dorms, away from his mom— as much as it breaks his heart, going between Ilsan and Seoul every day on top of his already intense schedule just wasn’t feasible. Woosung never takes it easy on himself, always pushing himself as much as he can, working as hard as he can. He’s self-critical, incredibly so, uses every second he can in the studios and practices until his body is screaming at him. It seems to pay off, getting him noticed by the company. He doesn’t rank too high in his evaluations, maybe a bit above average, but he gets compliments from his coaches, trainers, teachers. He doesn’t dare take any of it for granted, though; he’s seen it happen, talented trainees letting the praise go to their head, getting cocky, getting comfortable, and in the end, getting dropped from the company. He makes sure he’s always consistent, always hungry, searching to be better. Woosung doesn’t pay much attention to the other trainees, never really makes friends— it’s not like that’s something he’s ever been in the habit of anyways, after how his school life turned out. The cutthroat nature of the trainee industry makes it harder on him too, because the comments turn from general meanness to picking on the parts of himself he has confidence in. They pick on his dancing, about how he lacks power, how he’s too soft in his movements, how he stands out too much that he’ll never fit into a group. The comments break him down even more, tear his confidence to pieces. He doesn’t let it destroy him though, and he doesn’t back out— he’s come too far to quit now, and besides, what would his mother and father think? So woosung just does what he’s always done— keeps his head down, his mouth shut, and works until he can’t anymore.

Then at the end of 2015, right before Woosung is about to go home for the holidays, he’s called for a meeting with five other boys and told they’ll debut. Management explains the concept to them— experimental, powerful, conceptual. It doesn’t seem like it’s anything Woosung will fit into at all, especially when he’s given the label of lead dancer and lead vocal. He doesn’t have the strength behind his voice, the power in his movements to carry such a title. But the company assures him, all smiles, hands on his shoulders, you don’t need to worry, Woosung, you’re handsome onstage. It clicks then, why he’s gotten as far as he has, why the company always seemed to be a bit softer on him. It wasn’t because of his talent, because of his hard work— even though he’s a good dancer and a decent singer, what the company wanted him for was his looks. Everything feels fake now, the compliments, the encouragements, all the work he put in discounted. It feels like a weight on his shoulders, another thing crushing down on him. He resents himself for it, resents not being able to get by on his talent alone, resents the company having to lean into his looks to justify putting him into the group. And yet, months later, despite everything, he debuts.

2019.

Woosung has never had a crush. Never had a true friend, someone his age that he could talk to. Never had a goal other than dance. Never had an urge to open his mouth and speak his mind. But now, things are changing. Woosung has a couple people that he’s comfortable with being around, people who he trusts not to tear him down at the first chance they get. They’re few and far between, his friends, but at least they exist. People still intimidate him, strong, aggressive personalities easily overpowering him, and he’s still devastatingly shy, but he wants to work on it, wants to be able to open up more, be able to show himself in the hopes that people will like him. He has a crush now, maybe. He doesn’t know what it feels like to have a crush, but he thinks this might be it— the heart fluttering, cheek reddening feeling whenever that certain someone is around. He doesn’t think anything will come of it— who would want to date someone like him, twenty-one years old with absolutely no experience— but it’s there. (He’s not gay though. Or, he doesn’t think he’s gay. He can’t be gay, not after what his dad said to him.) He has fans, people who like him, hears good things about himself. They like his English, find him relatable, coo over him, find out his English name, call him Will without it twisting his stomach in the same way. There’s not as much direct bullying anymore, but Woosung is so used to it now, feeling like he’s being criticized for everything he does, that he finds himself being hard on himself. Late nights spent crying in the practice rooms, his body aching so much that it’s hard to get off the ground. He wants to snap out of it, but it’s hard— especially when he sees comments online, fans pitting the members against each other, pointing out how he lacks compared to the main vocal and main dancer. But he’s trying— really, he is— and maybe, one day, he’ll feel good enough.

#id.bio #id.1nferno #id.msg #id.no yoonho #id.honeypot

1 note · View note

fantroll-purgatory · 6 years

Text

Lalnah Dearth - Hopeless Romantic

@chaoticevilfantrolls

(Breaking the streak of Teals I had going, here’s my Main Boy)

I gotta say, you’ve hit another one out of the park. I really love this boy from the get-go.

Planet: Alternia. Same AU as Lycosa and Vapula (age of conscription is 10 sweeps, minor social changes, etc.)

Name:Lalnah Dearth

Lalnah: Comes from Lana or Svetlana, a name which typically means Light, or Gift to the World, depending on the source. Also, in a more blunt and lowbrow manner, it’s a pun on ‘lol, no’.

Dearth: Meaning ‘a lack of’. A lack of light, of prospects, and of hope. It primarily ties into his dreary nature, and the fact that he is meant to be a void player at his core.

I’m tempted not to use Dearth if only because it Is straight up a highly recognizable word. I like it a lot thematically, though. Hrm… Maybe if we just translate it? Duurte, meaning dearth, scarcity… Lalnah Duurte.

I do have to point out here that void isn’t about a lack of prospects or hope so much as an empty space… which I do really like for him. It’s the unexplored, the unknown, the blank canvas, the vastness, the beginning, that which isn’t but can become… Which can be really overwhelming and oppressing and lonely. But it’s not hopeless, even if it can feel that way in the beginning. Which I think ties beautifully into the title ideas you discussed, but we’ll get to that at the appropriate time.

Age:Typically 9-12 sweeps. He’s a little older than the rest of his friend group.

Strife Specibus: shotgunKind. It’s a reference to the original instance of Chekhov’s Gun, in which a shotgun over the mantle piece, mentioned off-hand in one of the earlier chapters of a story, was used as a murder weapon in the climax. It’s an important literary concept (not adding superfluous details unless they become relevant later), which ties into his writing theme as well as his plotline in the session he’s from.

I Love That Thanks. I was going to make a pen/sword joke here but I can’t when the Chekhov’s Gun reference is already perfect.

Fetch Modus:Hangman Modus. Lalnah needs to play hangman to retrieve the item from his sylladex. The phrase or word is always based on the item itself, becoming more complex the more powerful or important the item is. If he loses, the item is locked for a five hour period.

Blood color:Burgundy. His particular brand of down-trodden resignation fits really well in the lower castes, I believe. Plus, burgundy is the name of a kind of wine, which fits extra well with his alcoholic author theme.

I definitely think so. It puts him in a really vulnerable social position that amplifies that ease of manipulation you mention later. I think it’s also an interesting assignation for an author because of the rust leaning towards adventure. I like the idea of him exploring more internally, through his art.

Symbol and meaning:The Dele. It’s a symbol used to mark something for deletion in editing manuscripts. Primarily ties into his status as a void player, as well as his extensive writing theme. Also, when drawn a certain way, it resembles a bat.

Oh I just love this… I might have to adjust it a little to account for rust language, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Trolltag: transientTechnicality

Transient: Something or someone who is temporary. Can be used to describe someone who is homeless or nomadic.

Technicality: A small detail in a set of rules. In Lalnah’s mind, a technicality is something that is easily overlooked, but can be used to win major battles in both law and war.

Quirk:He starts all of his statements with an arrow pointing to his words, as if drawing attention he can to what he’s saying. (->)

He capitalizes his Os, and his v’s become >’s, but otherwise types entirely in lowercase. This is primarily to show his manner of speaking (very empty and almost monotonous, with a bit of a lisp around the sound of V). He uses punctuation within statements, but does not use apostrophes or periods as ending punctuation.

He has a tendency towards long, elaborate statements, spliced with commas and filled with florid and bloated prose. Expect a lot of ‘woe is me’ shit.

When he does use emoticons, he typically uses -w- for just about every emotion possible, using it to represent a bat’s face. Sometimes he’ll add carats before and after to represent perked ears (and curiosity), sometimes he’ll add an apostrophe as a sweat drop of exhaustion or weariness. (^-w-^ or -w-’)

“TT: -> cwm fjOrd bank glyphs >ext quiz” “TT: -> if yOu need a better translatiOn, the wOrds amOunt tO sOmething meaning, cOllOquially, symbOls car>ed On the mOuntain hOllOw irritate an eccentric” “TT: -> yOu, ah, wanted tO see every letter, thOugh… -w-”

I Adore All Of This. It’s interesting that you’ve given him the arrows drawing attention to his text when he’s themed around void/light. Maybe when he’s feeling particularly small and lacking in confidence and when he’s especially afraid of bringing attention to himself, he drops the arrows.

Special Abilities: Lalnah used to have a decent, if not exceptional, talent for photokinesis and photogenesis, which he could use to control and create light. Primarily he would use this for non-combat things like making reading lights and faerie lights or changing the intensity of light around him, although when pushed to it he would use the light to disorient foes so that he could escape. His drinking has severely dulled these powers, though, to the point he almost can’t use them at all.

Additionally, Lalnah hears the horrorterrors of the furthest ring, primarily manifesting as a dull mental static which he cannot pick out the meaning to. He hears them through his dreamself, which is sleepwalking in perpetuity, except while he himself sleeps. Because of this, he doesn’t necessarily have nightmares while he sleeps outside of sopor, and he’s more resistant to mind-control and telepathic psionics, if only for the barrier that makes it painful to dig too far into his pan. It doesn’t help much, because his timid nature makes it easy enough to control him in other, more mundane means.

Although not psychically based at all, Lalnah is also capable of using echolocation, thanks to his big ol’ sensitive batty ears.

I love all of this, too! I keep saying that but god I really do adore all the little clever details about him. He’s so well-crafted. His photogenesis would be so handy. He could cast light however he wanted while writing a scene to better figure out how to describe it… I wonder why he started hearing the horrorterrors, though? Do they just have a particular fondness for him? Something about his aspect bleeding before the bounds of sburb and into his consciousness?

Or did he dig a little too deep while doing some research for a book? Dip a little too much into the unknown and unlock something in himself he maybe shouldn’t have? The blankness of a page can be dangerous in that way.

Lusus: A fruit bat approximately the size of a house cat. Lalnah’s lusus is rather sickly and frail, and has been most of his life. In fact, by the time of the session, his lusus is typically dead of some illness. His lusus is a fruit bat primarily for the fact of Lalnah’s nearly vampiric appearance, the concept of being ‘blind as a bat’ (which Lalnah most certainly is), and an artifact reference to cannibalism (not nearly as relevant anymore, but Lalnah as a character is about 4 years old and I still haven’t weeded out all of the lingering teenage angst).

I do like the cannibalism reference objectively because he is, still, in some ways, self-cannibalizing. On a more emotional and identity level but still.

Personality: By all means, Lalnah is about as timid and self-pitying as a troll can get without it bordering on the obscenely pale-pornographic. He lets others speak over him, letting them form their opinions on him without so much as a whimper of protest. He has a(n earned) reputation as drunkard and a hopeless fool of a romantic, which he no longer attempts to protest. He’s been caught using his horns as a bottle opener. There’s no recovering your reputation after that.

In reality, Lalnah is incredibly talented, with strong skill in games of strategy and forethought, as well as proficiency with playing violin and piano. He avoids bringing attention to these things in fear that they will be used as a reason to manipulate him and take what little agency he has. This fear isn’t unfounded, but rather borne of his relationship with his ex-moirail, a blueblood who used his talents to make herself look more favorable, using recordings of him playing instruments as her own and forcing him to fit some visual ideal that she thought was fitting.

He has the tendency to fall in deep, profound love with trolls who show him the smallest scrap of kindness despite his failings, opening up to them and showing only them his real talent and potential, no matter how much he comes to regret it later.

He tends to wrestle with perfectionism in addition to his need for passive mediocrity. His drinking, unfortunately, is the only way he knows to bridge between the two. Using his drinking as an excuse for his failures soothes the savage beast of perfectionism without forcing him to give up his sense of safety in being unremarkable.

I like the idea of him kind of idolizing the people he’s in love with. And then true to Aries-aligned form experiencing these cycles of disappointment when they don’t meet these expectations. But he keeps on loving anyways, clinging because of his self-pity. Maybe having a fear that if he loses This person he’ll never find love again. Wants to have a perfect love but he can’t stand up for himself in relationships or dedicate himself to even trying to change people.

The drinking is also very fitting. We have seen pretty often that addiction is a very light/void phenomenon. Roxy’s and Rose’s own alcoholism, and Equius and Vriska’s addiction to breaking specific objects… An unfortunately realistic way that people attempt to cope with these internal conflicts.

Interests: Lalnah’s primary interest lies in writing. Be it prose or poetry, political essays or pining exposes, he writes whatever he happens to be in the mood for, and with great proficiency. Even in his trademark stupor (which he no-doubt exaggerates), he writes.

He has an interest in cooking as well, treating it as an art-form as high as any other. It’s one of the only things he’s willingly held on to since his moirailegence with the blueblood, besides perhaps his fashion sense. He absolutely has made a romantic dinner for his moirail out of instant noodles, and his habit of making the most of nothing really shines through in that.

Otherwise? He’s shoved aside most of his other interests. He doesn’t enjoy playing the piano or violin anymore, and his smaller hobbies that were discouraged or ignored fell to the wayside when he started hitting the bottle with some regularity.

)^: I want to save him.

Title: I’ve been struggling with this a little bit, but for a very specific reason.

Part of me is drawn to making Lalnah a Mage or Seer of Void, for his deep understanding of nothingness and mediocrity, his greater-than-average knowledge of the horrorterrors and the way they work (if marginal), as well as smaller things like his use of echolocation and the fact that he’s nearly blind thanks to his shitty eye sight.

Part of me is drawn to making him an Heir of Light, who spends most of the session in an unhealthy state of inversion, who then reverts to his proper classpect at a key moment, forcing himself to take on and handle the talent and relevance he’s been denying.

I do like the idea of him being an Heir of Light a lot. A Lot. He can easily start and spend a large part of the session inverted to Mage of Void. He hears the voices of the horror terrors and understands the unknown and the blank, or at least Believes he does. As he starts to come into himself and his role, he gets to learn to understand himself and information and the nature of infinity far better than he ever believed he did.

He takes on the relevance he’s been denying and that he has earned and would passively be able to manipulate and change information, the known, the present, as well as luck. And he would learn to actively comprehend the boundlessness of the void. He’d take all this passive change and this light inside himself and use it to understand that emptiness is not a dead end but instead a chance to fill it up with beautiful things.

Land: Land of Echoes and Haze

His land is a sprawling port town, worn down and rusting, the air thick with salt and haze. Think Innsmouth from the H.P. Lovecraft Mythos. His consorts are salamanders, dull grey in color, and are surprisingly hostile to him, although not aggressive. They speak endlessly about the things that hide in the mists, urging him to leave the land and never come back.

Consorts begin disappearing as he continues on his quest, and it’s eventually revealed that the things in the mists are actually mutated consorts, ruined by the whims of his denizen, Dagon. Lalnah must complete some tasks to drive back the mist before bargaining with Dagon to turn the consorts back into the form they are meant to be in.

I love that because it really does imply him needing to take on the spot light, pick up the hero role, make a change passively, by convincing the Dagon. He’d probably have to do something with a fun loophole to bring in your Technicality trolltag. Make a contract and screw that denizen over, Lalnah. Overcome your base acquiescent nature. I believe in you.

Dream Planet:Derse. He’s a voidy boy, and has a lot of horrorterror influence to him. It’d be a waste of a good plot point.

Oh Yep it’s definitely the most thematically fitting And he has So much internal conflict it’s impossible not to consider him a derse player.

Design stuff!:

Yeah I had pretty much almost nothing to add here. Like quite literally almost nothing.

Teeth: We’ve only seen one rust with visible teeth and even then they were nubby teeth, so I took the points off his fangs. I think it also works better for his submissive and dulled behavior.

Symbol: It needed to be symmetrical to meet the rust sign language, so I worked with the idea of it looking a bit like a bat and added two equally lengthed wing edges. I also wanted to use a lot of negative space because Themes.

Shoes: I changed the outline to a lighter one because the dark outline looked a bit awkward.

This is a really amazing and well-thought-out character! I hope I was able to provide even a little bit of useful help haha. Thank you for sharing!

-CD

#chaoticevilfantrolls #lalnah dearth #lalnah duurte #lalnah #dearth #duurte #rustblood #maroonblood #burgundyblood #review #redesign #?#not really. it's really not a redesign #cd review #submission

7 notes · View notes

thevalkyriesonline · 6 years

Text

Nine Worlds; One Valkyries Trip To London’s Inclusive Fan Convention

Conventions appeal to different fans for different reasons, whether it be comic con, a game expo, YouTube/Blogger convention or whatever the medium but one common factor in all of these conventions is the possibility to meet other like-minded fans! As well as hopefully getting the chance to meet your idols!

There is a Con though that really thrives on fans, it is called Nine Worlds (London’s Inclusive Fan Culture Convention). A Con with a difference – the difference being it is made by fans for fans to meet other fans and just enjoy and celebrate their fandom in all it’s crazy geekiness.

It has been going since 2013 when it was first set up but I only heard about it last summer (2017) when I discovered that one talk held there was titled “It’s research! Or Why it is ok to play over 100 hours of Dragon Age when you really should be writing.” This, as a huge Dragon Age fan since discovering Inquisition, spoke to me on a level that none of my immediate friends understood or appreciated. Unfortunately I was unable to attend Nine Worlds in 2017, but the fact that there was a time and place to have such a discussion on such a unique fan-based topic inspired me to endeavor to attend in 2018. So as soon as the Early Bird Tickets became available I put my money where my heart wanted me to and I began to plan and save for a big solo adventure to London for Nine Worlds 2018.

I also made another bold and brave and foolish decision to sign up as a Content Provider for Nine Worlds 2018!

Why? – because why not? I have been a mega reader, hoarder and fan of all fiction featuring, adapting or retelling Norse Mythology for years and Nine Worlds provided me with the ideal and probably only platform where I could take the chance to share my enthusiasm and passion for the genre of Norse Fantasy. The Nine Worlds Team accepted my proposal, so, on top of saving for the hotel room on-site and booking train travel I also had to plan a lecture/talk – I was both really nervous and really excited! The months, weeks and days soon dwindled down to departure day and then I was off down to London for what I hoped would be a fun and busy weekend.

Now on to the fun bit – the various sessions and events and panel discussions! These were the ones I attended but over 50 were held each day of the convention so this is just a small sample of what fandom and genres were covered.

Session One – LARP (Live Action Role Play). Speakers; Penny Jackson, Adam Dinwoodie, Mx RA Madgwick and Haplocke Spence

As I am attending my first ever LARP event, set in the world of Dragon Age in November this was a must for me! The panel was made up of experienced and new-ish LARP players and they gave a great insight into how LARP’ing works, the various types and systems involved, clothing and equipment, rules for both play and player protection and more.

Session Two – The Only Toilet in Thedas. Speakers; Sarah Gordon, Phil Dyson, Angela Cleland

Now who couldn’t resist that title? Especially when you are a Dragon age fan. This panel discussion was the most interesting because it covered not just the world of games but also of books, TV and Film. It made me realize how much in Fantasy the practical matters of hygiene from toilets to sewers to bathing are just not address yet in Sci-Fi it’s more visible. The panel discussed whether it was a taboo or simply a matter of too much detail on a very personal and private matter – for instance do you want to know how long the hero, heroine, villain or indeed any character takes on the toilet? If they wash their hands or not? – but then again social, religious and cultural practices exist even within the bathroom and so perhaps it should be represented more?

Session Three – Know Thy Enemy. Speakers; Adrian Tchaikovsky, Jeanette Ng, Ms Anna Stephens

This was a panel debate all about the nature and representation of Villains. I found it fascinating to discuss Villains and their nature, one panel member made the very good point on how it is wrong to see the Villain as the champion of Chaos and the Hero of Order for it is in fact the other way around. In many scenarios across all mediums it is the Villain that has established some type of order whether through politics, society, culturally or religious or just geographically or financially but it is the Hero who emerges to disrupt that form of order and thus bring about chaos. This made me instantly think of Katniss in the Hunger Games, she is rebelling against the ruling society and its cultural practice of the Games and thus brings war to the capital city and thus chaos. Another issue discussed was whether the viewer/reader must be sympathetic towards Villains. The panel debated hard on this topic and in the end agreed that sympathy isn’t necessary for a Villain to be a true villain or a good villain but what is necessary is that the viewer/reader gets a sense of the Villain’s journey to their villainy – they must see where, how and why the character has become the Villain, whether for good or bad, and so enjoy the Villain’s redemption or come-uppance by the hero.

Session Four – D&D (Dungeons and Dragons) for Young People. Speaker; Elizabeth Prais

In my day job as a college Librarian I had recently learned of a lunch-time Dungeons and Dragons group being set up by a teacher after some students expressed an interest. So, I was eager to learn more tips and tricks to either host such a group in the Library or pass on to my colleague. The lady who hosted this session hailed from America and was very open about how she ran her local residential D&D group for her daughter and some local children. She gave some great recommendations and advice on timing, kit, planning, preparation and how to adjust and adapt the large and complex set of rules for a younger more impatient audience.

Session Five – Philosophy and Mass Effect. Speaker; Michael Duxbury, Emily Marlow

Now this was the first session I wasn’t entirely clued up on as I myself am still stuck half way through playing Mass Effect 2 by Bioware so a lot of the moral/ethical dilemmas they talked about I hadn’t actually experienced yet, or I couldn’t remember what I chose in the ones I was familiar with. Yet it was interesting and food for thought on how the scenarios were portrayed, and the fixed set of options provided resulted in the moral and ethics becoming such a personal dilemma for players. It wasn’t always a case of choosing the lesser of two evils but how the player and indeed the character depending on their Renegade to Hero balance would pick. Some panel members and indeed people in the audience felt that more choices would improve and increase the dilemma levels instead of just A or B. The panel also discussed how often, at least amongst themselves, they would pick based on the benefit or not long term, not the short term and play with a view of working towards achieving success or a goal.

Session Six – Beyond Marvel and DC – What comics you should be reading. Speakers; Angie Wenham, Stephen Lacey, Kate Barton, Ram V

The panel mentioned a great many titles, artists, apps and webcomics that they recommended as alternatives to Marvel/DC and then invited the audience to contribute. I recommended Nimona* by Noelle Stevenson and I Hate Fairy Land by Skottie Young.

* Interested in Nimona? Check out our review!

I Hate FairyLand

Nimona

Session Seven – Disney Sing-A-Long

This was the true highlight for me as an eternal child thanks to the magic of Disney. I wasn’t the only adult in the room, it was a very popular event and there were children of all ages and their parents and even a few Disney cosplayers too. We were all able to sing-a-long via screen projecting the words, or handouts or follow a link online. A whole range of songs was sung and Frozen ‘Let It Go’ proved to be a major popular one with a member of Con Staff leading a friendly stage invasion and then everyone proudly showed off all the right moves to the lyrics. I honestly was in tears with joy as some of the most powerful songs were sung by young and old alike.

The final event I will review was the FABULOUS MMORPG SHOW. Speaker; Misha Anker, Paul Flannery

Which was a blend of audience power and D&D – we basically had the Game Master who set up a story, invited some members of the audience to join him on stage and fill in character sheets but they had to be as unconventional as possible and then he would invite the audience to provide character names, objects, powers etc. to the story narrative and the players would roll a giant D20 (20-sided dice) to determine the outcome. This was a whole lot of fun and silliness and the story involved a Bee with a Human Leg, a Swarm of Wasps and a Wizard whose greatest spell was making Jam, they had to find the Cheese Board for the Duck of Doom! You had to be there to believe the story and it was amazingly resolved within the 1 hour and a half session.

Norse Fantasy, My own presentation!

Was scheduled bright and early on a Saturday morning the night after the first big disco (alas Becky did not go dancing due to a very painful wisdom tooth spoiling things) and yet the room quickly filled up much to my delight. Despite not having the colorful presentation I spent hours on, due to not having my own laptop to plug into the screen, I was still able to explain, explore and introduce so many of my favourite authors and titles to a new audience. Some of the audience also proved to be fellow fans of many of them and a good number took photographs of my favourite title list to go away with to look at later and thanked me for the session, which was an awesome feeling. I was even complimented on my choice of t-shirt for the session – my own Valkyrie t-shirt from Redbubble. It says, “Valkyrie of Odin – Midgard Original – Since 793”. If you are interested in my presentation, I am planning on doing a written version of it for the Valkyries Blog so stay tuned!

Last but not least was the fab mini Geek Market that was on all weekend and as it was also my birthday, I indulged myself in another t-shirt from Genki Gear, some D&D themed tea, tea strainer and mug, two new bookmarks, some funky acrylic necklaces featuring a book and a fox in a bin, some super cute little clay keyrings of Flynn Rider, Thor and Pizza and of course BOOKS! Each attendee got a surprise free book in their bag, but I got two based on libraries and books, The Invisible Library by Genevieve Cogman and Bookworm by Christopher Nuttall – expect a review on here once I have got around to enjoying them.

Now the managing team have recently stepped down to consult with attendees and invite new members, as they are reviewing their constitution to try and make it more inclusive and representative of those who attend. Although from what I witnessed their inclusive and equality practices were out of this world compared to other cons I’ve been too. I do hope the new organizers can continue what has already been established and continue to make improvements where they feel it is needed. I for one enjoyed it all – despite my wisdom tooth being a very literal pain throughout – for I definitely would attend again.

Did you attend Nine Worlds? What did you think? What was your favourite presentation?

Purchasing through our amazon affiliate links earns us a small commission at no extra cost to yourself! Any commission earned goes to keeping the Valks in coffee!

A Valkyrie at Nineworlds! @london_geekfest #nineworlds Nine Worlds; One Valkyries Trip To London's Inclusive Fan Convention Conventions appeal to different fans for different reasons, whether it be comic con, a game expo, YouTube/Blogger convention or whatever the medium but one common factor in all of these conventions is the possibility to meet other like-minded fans!

1 note · View note

bitchterra · 7 years

Text

The cartoon cycle

Desclaimer: I’m embarrassing and bad at spelling

The TV show Rick and Morty has been getting a lot of backlash lately. Mostly, I think it’s due to its popularity, being overly capitalized on. It’s become annoying. Personally I like the show; Even though it only scored a 7 in the algorithm that I use for rating Cartoons, called the iccs system. ( I’m sorry that I’m literally the worst breed of nerd.)

But the iccs system couldn’t properly judge or explain why the show seems to be attracting aggressive fans. (Another reason people seem to be loosing patience with the series.) This is my first theory…

I’ve noticed in tv there seems to be two types of depressed characters. Type one is a character like Meg in family guy. The rest of the family treats her horribly, and the audience is supposed to find it funny, and feel indifferent towards the character. Another example I can think of is Jerry from Parks and Rec.

Type two is extremely different. Instead; the other characters are meant to look up too the depressed character. He’s cold, and cool, and we are meant to sympathize with his depression. Rick is a perfect example of this. Another good example is is Bojack Horseman. However there is a slight difference between the two characters. Bojack is rarely depicted as cool and is often the butt of the joke. By season three the audience is meant to grow tired of Bojacks excuses and self pity. Then in season four we see the start of a redemption ark, as the focus switches from Bojack and his depression, to Bojack and the relationship with his “daughter” Hollyhock.

Even though Ricks toxic attitude is often glorified, he does show selflessness in rare instances. Like sacrificing himself to save his family and saying a cool one-liner like “what are in for?” “Everything.” Then cool indie music plays in the background. But the difference is the focus stays completely on Rick and he’s Always the cool guy. Always idolized. The problem is fanboys seem to mirror this behavior. But I’ll get to that.

Even though I do like R&m, I think it’s safe to say it was written for men. I think it’s absurd that TV shows are categorized by gender, via marketing purposes, but I think you know what I mean. Going back to Family guy, is it really that different than R&M? In truth, they are both dude bro shows. The bit in R&M, where there’s a combination between Lincoln and Hitler, is funny, but similar to the episode of Family Guy, where Hitler rides a unicycle and Juggles Fish. R&M even has a Meg. Jerry. ( no not the one from Parks and Recs.) ((confusing!))

So my theory is that R&M is the evolution of shows like Family Guy. Unfortunately because R&M is clever, it attracts the worst kind of person. The smug douche, or smouche. They believe they can act however they want , like Rick, because they’re “smart” and “fucked up” and no one else “gets it.” Even though recently the show has tried to articulate, that Ricks toxic behavior, was his downfall; the smouches don’t want to give up that excuse. However I still find R&M to be a compelling show, and a step in the right direction. But, as some shows evolve others devolve. Which is where it gets interesting.

I’m sure most people are aware of the horrid display of TV reboots, that keep spouting up from CN. The problem is the network seems to assume that old fans, due to nostalgia, will automatically watch the new versions of shows like: The Power Puff girls, Teen Titans, and Ben 10; without really doing anything. They also seem to assume that the younger target audience, couldn’t give two shits about interesting artwork, or creative story telling. All they need is loud fart jokes and bright colors. However, the children don’t get the occasional joke or reference made for the older audience, and the older audience is much too horrified to even watch. Therefor we have an unevenly blended, monstrosity, that fails to satisfy either age group.

The only exception too this rule is of course Samurai Jack (2017), which was released on Adult Swim. The dark aspects of the original were expanded upon, and a robot says “penis.” It was entirely made for us. These other modern “interpretations,” are only versions of the original shows by name, as a way to leach off of credibility.

As I thought about the devolution of the artsier cartoon, I had a light bulb moment. As the dude bro cartoon becomes more fluid and complex, the expressionist cartoons, like Adventure Time are dying out. The era of artistic, surreal, cartoons, is over. And the era of the dude bro cartoon has come back, even stronger than before.

That’s when I had my second light bulb moment. I was watching the older episodes of Adventure Time, and I remembered something; AT used to be a dude bro show. I think it’s safe to say that it was originally targeted to kids, and teenage boys. BUT as the plot became more intricate and complex, it became more relative and individualistic. With that in mind I feel more hopeful about the next wave of cartoons, as the cycle begins once again.

My prediction is that R&M has already reached its popularity peak. I think that soon, like Adventure Time, the obnoxious part of the fandom will dissolve, and R&M will finally have the room to live up to its actual potential.

#cartoon science #rick and morty #family guy #bojack horseman #samurai jack #adveture time #cartoon analysis #really dorky crap #cartoons #catoon theorys #this is soo cringy #why am i like this

53 notes · View notes

theconservativebrief · 5 years

Link

Mention Elon Musk’s name on the internet, and prepare to face the wrath of the Musketeers. That’s just the way it works now that they — or the Musk Bros, or whatever you want to call the Tesla and SpaceX founder’s horde of devoted fans — are on constant high alert in defense of their chosen leader. For CEOs, it seems that being the object of affection for an increasing number of strangers is now part of the job description.

You don’t exactly have to possess Musk’s gifted, frenetic brain to figure out how we got here: Society has always had heroes, be those of war or art or politics. But entrepreneurs are particularly suited for our current moment, in which success in business is our primary marker of achievement. Business acumen doesn’t just get you money anymore; it can make you the most powerful man in the world.

The signs of CEO worship are everywhere: unprecedented venture capital funding for founders, media overemphasis on company leaders, and to use the most extreme and obvious example, the election of Donald Trump.

Carl Rhodes, co-author of the book CEO Society, notes that CEO worship has even spread to us as individuals. “If you hop onto Amazon and type in ‘CEO’, there’s many self-help books where you can ‘become CEO of your own love life’ or ‘date like a CEO,’ he says. “I can’t imagine what kind of awful date that would be, but nevertheless.”

It’s not a good thing: not for businesses, not for society, and not even for CEOs themselves. To explain why, I asked five scholars, whose reasoning ranges from leadership psychology to moral philosophy. Below, their lightly edited responses.

Jeffrey Moriarty, philosophy department chair at Bentley University

People don’t like complexity or ambiguity. They want to simplify. Pointing to a person as the cause of this or that good or bad event is simple: “Ronald Reagan won the Cold War;” “FDR ended the great depression.” Telling a story about resources, systems, institutions, policies, and practices is a lot messier and more complicated, though likely to be more accurate.

The same goes for business. People want to be able to account for some business success or failure and it is easy to say, “Oh, it was because Jones was at the helm, or because Jones made this decision.”

This is not to say that leadership never matters, or that good decision-making is unimportant. Surely it is. But it’s probably a lot less important in general than people think. Leaders have an interest in perpetuating the belief that leadership is vital to organizational (of whatever kind) performance — it is a source of power for leaders.

Slavish devotion to a leader is incompatible with the kind of critical engagement that is necessary to prevent organizations from going down the wrong path, financially or morally.

Ben Zeller, associate professor of religion at Lake Forest College

CEOs symbolize what we value as a culture. They fit the American self-image of the lone individual who succeeds based on their wits and raw determination. The CEO is the cowboy writ large.

Most people want something to believe in, and in an increasingly secularized age, CEOs offer a new target for devotion. We live in an era of unbridled capitalism, where consuming is what we do as a people.

We create and foster our identities by the clothing we wear, the phones we own, the music we download. Some people invest so much of themselves into the people and companies behind the technology that we consume, that they become effectively secular fundamentalists. If people invest so much of themselves in the ideals of a company or CEO, they will be let down when and if they discover that the company and CEO are driven ultimately by different goals than the consumer.

Carl Rhodes, co-author of CEO Society: The Corporate Takeover of Everyday Life

CEO worship, I think, is a feature of the latter stages of neoliberalism. A lot of it can be traced back to the changes in the global, political, economic situation from the 1980s where you had a shift toward a revival of traditional laissez-faire market-based economics. Business people in general have never been really heroic — in the 1960s, the so-called “organization man” was a fairly bland person wearing a gray suit who was thought of as a conformist, so it’s really a contemporary phenomenon to some extent.

If you look at at the phenomenon of Uber, rather than being seen as an employee, [an Uber driver is] positioned as an individual entrepreneur, a kind of mini-CEO of their own life.

The idea is that we see this kind of CEO mentality bleeding out into many other dimensions of life. We see this as quite a dangerous phenomenon because it’s all driven by values around success and individualism and competition and rivalry rather than about more traditional values around democracy, participation, collegiality, community and so forth. So increasingly our whole lives operate as if there’s some kind of competitive market where all we’re supposed to do is beat other people. If you look at Trump’s rhetoric, it’s always about winning. And it’s not just about winning — to prove that you’re winning, you have to have someone else losing.

Dennis Tourish, author of The Dark Side of Transformational Leadership

When people acquire extraordinary power, the effects tend to be rather negative. One business writer has said that being the CEO of the company today is the closest thing to being king of your own country. Well, history suggests that absolute monarchs become absolute tyrants, and that their sense of themselves becomes grotesquely inflated.

And for all sorts of psychological reasons, the more power an individual has, the less sensitive they become to the needs of other people and the less inclined they are to seek out advice in making crucial decisions, and the less likely to take any advice when they actually get it. My own research also suggests that people in that position are reluctant to facilitate critical communication from other people who have less power in making those decisions, so eventually people give up trying to offer it.

If they believe their own hype, they can become like a rock star surrounded by a sycophantic entourage, and the quality of their decisions will inevitably begin to decline. So the more a leader is lionized in the press or more popular they appear to be at one moment, the more wary we should be and the more we should expect a fall from grace to happen at any moment.

[By] encouraging the fallacious view that we need geniuses to run our companies, we’re doing all of ourselves a disservice. There are very few geniuses out there, and there aren’t enough to keep the economy or our organizations healthy. We have to find ways to engage the intelligence, the activism, the enthusiasm, the passion of people at more levels in the organizations that we rely upon.

Arun Sundararajan, professor at NYU Stern School of Business

Part of the American dream is that anyone can succeed like the most successful among us, so there’s an aspirational dimension to looking up to founders and CEOs. I think in particular in the tech space, there’s been a number of founder-CEOs who have not just been fabulously successful, but have also been successful rapidly, and in a context that is familiar to people. If I become a billionaire founder in meatpacking, that’s less a part of everyday life than if I build an app.

I think the key risk for employees and investors — and it’s tied up with the ownership structures that these CEO-founders are creating for their companies where a significant amount of control is retained by the founder — is that [when] the interests of the company or employees start to diverge from the founder, it becomes all the more difficult to make good decisions about what’s the best path forward for the company.

We saw this struggle at Uber recently that led to the founder leaving and a new CEO coming in. That was fraught with tension and difficulty because you had a wildly visible founder-CEO who was revered in certain circles.

From a societal point of view, this has led to certain expectations of entrepreneurship that can be harmful in the long run. We’re entering a phase of modern work where more people are going to have to be individual entrepreneurs.

Entrepreneurship is at the foundation of what the future of work will be like. The visibility and adulation for the founder-CEO can often allocate the resources of society towards that kind of entrepreneurship, rather than the more common kind, which is opening a nail salon or a law practice.

What I see with students: When I say “entrepreneurship,” they think of Mark Zuckerberg or Steve Jobs. In some ways, I want every undergrad these days to learn about entrepreneurship not so they can go off and create the next billion-dollar company but because I feel like they have to think like entrepreneurs to succeed in tomorrow’s world of business.

Original Source -> CEOs have never been more idolized. 5 experts explain why that’s a problem.

via The Conservative Brief

#IFTTT #The Conservative Brief

0 notes

ronnykblair · 6 years

Text

“Bad Blood” Book Review: Fooling Most of the People for a Long, Long Time

While I read Bad Blood, John Carreyrou’s detailed account of the rise and fall of Theranos, two thoughts immediately came to mind.

First, if North Korea ever launched a startup, Theranos would be it.

The company operated the same way Kim Jong Un does: non-functional products, “launches” that backfire, massive fraud, dead employees, and a creepy old guy who monitored employee email and Internet usage.

Second, this story is amazing. They need to make it into a movie.

Then I realized that they are making it into a movie starring Jennifer Lawrence, with Adam McKay from The Big Short set to direct.

After extensive research, I’ve determined that North Korea did not officially back the company, but I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that the Kim family invested via Rupert Murdoch or Betsy DeVos.

Bad Blood is my favorite non-fiction book of the past decade.

It’s so good that it almost seems like fiction – a John Grisham thriller, maybe.

It takes the best parts of history’s most famous downfall stories and injects even more intrigue by adding the one element those stories lacked: human life.

This book isn’t directly related to recruiting or working in the finance industry.

But there are so many valuable takeaways that are indirectly related that I decided to write this review anyway:

What is This Book About, and Why Should You Care?

In case you’ve been living in a cave in Antarctica for the past ~3 years, Theranos was a massively hyped “unicorn” healthcare startup that aimed to perform hundreds of blood tests from a single drop of blood pricked from your finger.

No more needles! No more vials of blood!

Just one small problem: it is impossible to do this.

Blood from your finger is different from the blood in your veins because it is partially oxygenated, it’s contaminated by interstitial fluid, and the volume is very low.

In plain English, there’s not enough data, so you can’t solve the problem with a medical device.

You can do a few simple tests, such as the one for glucose levels, with finger-pricked blood, but not the hundreds of complex tests out there.

Despite that, Theranos still managed to raise $900 million over the years at a peak valuation of $9 billion.

But after more than a decade of lying to investors, threatening employees, and using non-functional devices to diagnose patients, Theranos finally began to implode in 2015.

That’s when WSJ investigative reporter John Carreyrou received a tip about the company, began his deep dive into it, and finally published the article that sparked a firestorm.

After that, the company’s trajectory resembled that of a spaceship being sucked into a black hole.

Regulatory agencies banned Theranos from running a lab, Walgreens ended its partnership, the COO was forced out, investors and partners started suing the company, and the SEC charged the CEO and COO (Elizabeth Holmes and Ramesh “Sunny” Balwani) with massive fraud.

A criminal investigation is underway, and indictments are likely. Most likely, Theranos will soon be liquidated, and both the top executives will be in jail.

This story is a textbook example of how to do everything wrong at a startup.

And it’s a cautionary tale of what to avoid and how to detect deception if you’re an investor.

So… How Did a North Korean Startup Survive for Over a Decade?

Even if you’ve followed all the WSJ’s reporting on Theranos, you probably have one big question: How could such a fraudulent company last for so long?

Didn’t anyone notice that the Empress had no clothes before a reporter came along?

Bad Blood makes it clear that plenty of people were skeptical from the start.

The company never published peer-reviewed literature, its Board of Directors consisted of fossilized former diplomats who knew nothing about medicine, and it never attracted serious life science VC investors.

The original Ph.D. student who founded the company with Elizabeth Holmes thought her first idea was “science fiction,” and dozens of disgruntled employees quit along the way, convinced that the entire operation was a Potemkin village.

I can’t explain the company’s survival in one sentence, but here’s my summary:

Business Partners: Walgreens was paranoid that CVS would get the technology first, so they entered the partnership without proper due diligence. One skeptical consultant kept warning them, but he was silenced. This one goes in the FOMO (“fear of missing out”) bucket.

Investors: The company raised money mostly from family offices and VCs with no healthcare experience. And they pointed to early investors, such as Tim Draper and Larry Ellison, as evidence that “the smart money” was on board.

VCs with a track record in life sciences, such as Google Ventures and MedVenture Associates, passed when they realized the company couldn’t answer basic technical questions.

Employees: Pretty much all the employees figured out that the company was a fraud, which is why turnover was extremely high.

However, Theranos was super-secretive and used expensive lawyers and private investigators to threaten ex-employees who could have become whistleblowers.

Regulators: Theranos operated in “regulatory no man’s land” by labeling its diagnostics “lab-developed tests,” which are not regulated by the FDA.

Eventually, the regulators caught up to them and started conducting surprise lab inspections because of tips from anonymous ex-employees.

Patients: The company used its broken device(s) to test patients in Arizona and California, which later resulted in ~1 million voided tests.

Amazingly, they threatened doctors and patients who left bad Yelp reviews, but nothing could hide fraud on this scale.

These live deployments finally pushed it over the edge and alerted the broader population to the scam.

What I Loved

I’ve followed the Theranos story closely, but Bad Blood was great because it put together all the pieces in a logical order and gave them more emotional resonance.

The book conveys superbly the human tragedy, ranging from patients who received the wrong diagnoses to employee Ian Gibbons, the chief scientist who “committed suicide” under suspicious circumstances.

But what I loved most were the vividly drawn characters.

In particular, “Sunny” Balwani, the #2 at Theranos, seems like an amalgamation of every single horrible VP in investment banking.

Not only did he micromanage employees while knowing nothing about the product, but he also had the social skills of an autistic monkey.

When an employee quit and refused to sign a confidentiality agreement, Sunny sent a security guard after him, called the police, and then told the police the employee stole property.

When they asked what property was stolen, Sunny replied that the employee “stole property in his mind.”

Oh, and the whole time Sunny was at the company, he was also in a romantic relationship with CEO Elizabeth Holmes, who was ~20 years younger.

Award-winning corporate governance!

Areas for Improvement

That said, the book isn’t perfect.

There are a lot of characters to remember, and sometimes I lost track of who was doing what at which time.

The book moves in rough chronological order, but chapters tend to be thematic or character-based rather than time-based.

So, similar to TV shows like Westworld, the exact timeline can be a bit confusing (though the lack of robots makes it far less convoluted than Westworld).

Finally, the transition where John Carreyrou enters the story toward the end is a bit jarring, since the preceding chapters are written in the third person from the perspective of others.

Takeaways for the Finance Industry

Here’s what you can learn from this story even if you have no interest in startups, venture capital, or medical devices:

1) Story, Story, Story

Your story is everything. That’s why we focus on it heavily in the Interview Guide and the articles on this site.

A great story can sell anything, whether it’s a product or yourself in a job interview.

Elizabeth Holmes was a great storyteller who idolized Steve Jobs, and like Jobs, she could also sell anything.

But if the claims in your story can be disproven easily, your story will fall apart.

It’s not unusual for an early-stage biotech startup to make aggressive claims about its future products.

But what was unusual – and fraudulent – was to claim that the product was ready for real-life usage, when it clearly was not, and then to use it on patients.

This is why it’s a terrible idea to lie or even “spin” facts that can be easily disproven in interviews, such as your abilities in other languages, graduation dates, grades, employment dates, and job titles.

So many readers have gone too far with spinning that I’m going to rewrite the article on the topic later this year.

2) Healthcare != Technology

Many technology companies that launch apps, software, and even hardware adopt a “fake it ‘til you make it” attitude.

That’s fine for technology because no one dies if a smartphone app crashes.

And many students have famously dropped out of university and then started world-class technology companies… because you don’t need that much experience to get started.

Healthcare, though, is a different ball game.

Your product can’t “kind of work” unless you want to kill people.

And it’s almost impossible for 19-year-old university dropouts with no medical experience to start important healthcare companies.

If you’re trying to move into finance, you can use these industry differences to your advantage.

For example, if you have significant medical/biotech experience, you’re much stronger as a career changer candidate if you target healthcare groups at banks and VC firms.

They want people like you because no university graduate could understand those sectors as well as a Ph.D. or industry executive.

But if you want to get into the industry at the last minute, or you don’t have real work experience, it’s better to target sectors such as technology or consumer/retail where you can get up to speed quickly.

3) The Fallacy of Expertise Transferability

Many students at top universities believe that since they got into a top school, they are experts at everything – or at least, they could quickly become experts at anything.

The Board members and early investors of Theranos embraced similar logic:

“I’m the former Secretary of State/Defense or the founder of a multi-billion-dollar tech company. Therefore, I can also be a successful healthcare investor!”

Except… they’re completely different fields.

Facing down the Soviets in the Cold War is impressive, but it doesn’t make a 90-something former diplomat qualified to judge the merits of medical devices.

I outlined in a previous article how you can outwit and out-hustle Ivy League students to win job offers, and this point goes along with the advice there.

Yes, other candidates might have better credentials or higher GPAs…

…but will they take the time to learn the in’s and out’s of stock pitches, find contact information for hundreds of industry professionals, and then contact them in a socially calibrated way?

I’m not sure, but most “experts” would say it’s beneath them.

4) Focus on the Right Things for Your Development Stage – Not the Trappings of Power

As Theranos raised $900 million, Elizabeth Holmes spent much of the money on lawyers, new offices, a contingent of bodyguards, and yes, even bulletproof glass for her office (!).

She also put a ton of time and effort into distribution partnerships and sales.

For an early-stage technology company, it’s not necessarily wrong to focus on sales before your product is fully functional.

But for an early-stage healthcare company, nothing matters except for developing a working solution, passing clinical trials, and winning approval from regulators.

If your new device or vaccination or surgical method doesn’t work, partnerships won’t save you.

Consistently, companies focus on the wrong things and ignore the stage they’re at.

I even did the same thing back when I made the mistake of creating a $5,000 product for a $500 market.

In a way, I made the opposite mistake of Theranos: I had products that worked, and I wanted to make them even better to the point where no one noticed or cared.

But it was motivated by the same mistake: not understanding the stage I was at.

5) If “The End Goal” is Your Focus, Rethink Your Life!

When Holmes was young, a family member asked what she wanted to be when she grew up.

“A billionaire!” she replied.

That answer demonstrates why the fraud reached this level before collapsing: rather than trying different skills, becoming good at one, and then pursuing it, Holmes started with the end goal in mind.

And she stopped at nothing to pursue it, even if it meant lying to investors, threatening employees, and putting patients’ lives at risk.

Most entrepreneurs start working in a specific industry, get to know people, learn the key problems, and then launch new products/services.

Otherwise, it’s impossible to know what people will pay for and which solutions are feasible vs. science fiction.

Idolizing Steve Jobs and aiming to become a billionaire aren’t real goals; they’re aspirations of teenagers who do not yet know themselves.

As far as applicability to the finance industry, well, take a look at the comments thread on this article about finance as a long-term career.

Final Thoughts and Reality Distortion Fields

Both Steve Jobs and Elizabeth Holmes possessed “reality distortion fields” that let them recruit subordinates and convince investors, Board members, and the public of almost anything.

But Jobs also had a firm grasp on his own reality, and despite some exaggerations and problems, delivered products that worked.

By contrast, Holmes forgot to apply self-shielding, which let her reality distortion field twist her own perception of reality.

Aside from the upcoming indictment and trial, I don’t think we’ll be hearing much from her.

But if you want to find out more, the rumor is that she might head to North Korea.

Apparently, she’s an excellent fit.

The post “Bad Blood” Book Review: Fooling Most of the People for a Long, Long Time appeared first on Mergers & Inquisitions.

from ronnykblair digest https://www.mergersandinquisitions.com/bad-blood-book-review/

#ronnykblair digest

0 notes

myparentingportal · 6 years

Text

My Father Used His Trauma

Love & Money / Staff

What I Learned From My Truth About Being A Great Dad

As my daughters become women, I sometimes reflect on how my daddy achieved what should be every father’s dream — to be respected and loved as A Great Dad.

By Peter Fritz

Jan 24 2018