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ackerfics · 1 year

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rory, since you write the sweetest, most fluffy and down to earth renditions of college levi... how would levi react to the first time you ever waited outside of his class for him and greeted him (much to his surprise) after his lecture finished? (ig in this, they give off more friend energy, perhaps nearly at the point of becoming best friends?)

omg thank you so much, love <3 here's a drabble for you to enjoy mwa

levi is tired, point-blank exhausted with anything related to his university. and it has only been the second semester of his freshman year.

all of this monotonous schedule of waking up, studying, attending lectures, passing reports, answering exams, and just being inside paradis university sucks the living hell out of levi's soul. he's not someone who's that stressed often but now that he's feeling it, he's starting to understand the overly-friendly seniors who told him and his classmates about the intense requirements of their major. at first, he thought he could carry all the load but he's starting to think that he's just human like everyone else. not to mention that he has to do good every single semester for the sake of giving his mother a comfortable life after he graduates. maybe as he progresses through the remaining years in uni, all of this will alleviate and will make room for him to say fuck it. but seeing as he's still a freshman, levi has no choice but to suck it all up and make sure he passes the second semester as an honors student.

while getting out of a four-hour lecture on how compounds react with each other, levi sluggishly walks with his head never looking down despite how tired he is, the sky now a myriad of purples and red. he ignores some of the passing people taking a second glance at him. usually, he glares them off but now he has no energy to. again, he's not in the right headspace to interpret how some of the students in his year level find him attractive. he'll mind that on another day. now, all he wants is to get that tall cup of his usual tea order from his frequented cafe, possibly buy some take-out because he has no urge to cook his food tonight, and just sleep in.

he opens his phone for his schedule tomorrow, checking if there's going to be any vacant period in the morning. levi huffs when he finds there's none, pocketing his phone before looking up.

there you are, waving at him with that radiant smile on your face.

levi's eyes slightly widen at the surprising development.

you're a part of the same friend group he sometimes hangs out with. being best friends with the insane biology major (in his words), you're also a face he mostly sees at random times of the day, courtesy of the said insane biology major who drags you to wherever place they want. because of that mutual friend, you two start talking with each other in passing. these talks evolve into getting to know each other until the both of you can say that you're friends. the times levi meets up with the group and you're there, he seems to gravitate toward you. you don't boisterously ask people questions or sniff people at the first meeting or even interrogate them with wide eyes and a snake-like grin. levi surmises that you're the only normal one in this crazy band of misfits.

levi's heart skips a beat, finding you in a different light while you're standing there so effortlessly pretty.

maybe it's the fact that this is the first time you waited for him when he has classes or maybe it's because he's always wishing you'd do this to him (on nights when he has nothing to finish, you're the last thought he has before he falls asleep). it's embarrassing -- something that he keeps to himself for fear that hange or mike might tease the hell out of him and he has no choice but to throttle them to the ground.

the rapid beating inside his chest turns into something so fluttering, rushing to his face when he notices that you have a tall cup of drink in your hand, the logo of the cafe he prefers acting like a beacon.

"levi!" you call for him once he's a couple of feet from you. "how was class?" you naturally ask him, as if this has been going on for a while now.

levi blinks, schooling his face to cool down. "fine. it's fucking tiring." the moment he reaches you, his shoulders relax and the exhaustion from everything melts away. you have that effect on him. he likes that only he knows about it.

you hum, pursing your lips. you then perk up, lifting the tall cup of something warm in your hand. "here's something to cheer you up. your usual order from the brew."

he takes the cup from you. "thanks," he murmurs under his breath. he can't help but let out a contented sigh at the familiar flavor on his palate. levi furrows his eyebrows, looking at you with a slight sheen of concern in his eyes. "i thought your lectures finished about two hours ago?"

"don't worry about it," you wave off. "i stayed in the library closest to your building to finish some of my work and revisions. trust me when i say that staying here is more productive for me rather than going back home to my dorm room. you also know that i'm willing to wait for you no matter what time of the day it is."

levi hides his burning cheeks by taking a sip of his drink. he doesn't say anything. but that's the thing, he wants to say all these unexplained emotions he's feeling for you but instead, he softly flicks your forehead with his free hand's forefinger and thumb, afraid that he might scare you away. you two have been friends for only six months anyway.

"hey!"

he scoffs, almost a laugh. he wordlessly slides the straps of your tote bag from your shoulder and wears them on his. "let's go?" he says while walking away.

"levi, i waited for you and you're just going to walk away first?"

"walk faster then." he hears you huff and lighter footsteps follow him until you're right next to him. one corner of his lips lift in a half-smile while side-eyeing you pouting at the fact that he's being rude again. all those musings of being tired and suddenly levi feel invigorated to tell you with an unreadable face, "hey, how about we eat dinner in that resto you like? the one with thai food."

you curiously peer at him from underneath your eyelashes. "aren't you tired? we can have dinner on a different night, levi. you deserve the rest with all your workload, you know."

levi hums. "and i'm not tired now."

"are you sure?"

he glances at you from the corner of his eyes. lifting a hand, he pokes your forehead, earning him a whine from you. "i already told you i'm not tired. hurry up and stop gawking at me. i might leave you behind for good this time."

with your flustered stuttering in the background, levi naturally smiles for the first time this week. maybe rest can be a person after all.

#— rory's passages 🌼#— lovely anons 🌸#— here's a flower for you 🌼#— messages that i keep in a jar 🌻#this is something i came up with in a rush so pls forgive me <33 #all my unfulfilled wishes in uni keep popping up in my writing TT #i want someone to pick me up after class too :< or someone i can wait for :<#levi x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman x reader #aot x reader

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duck-in-a-thrift-store · 29 days

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Personal rant bc we haven't gotten my official results yet but we did get a very stressful phone call about it, and because adhd has been kicking my ass lately. This is going to be long and rambly and all over the place, and if you're anti self-dx, I wouldn't suggest reading further (or interacting with me in general). It also sort of becomes just me psychoanalyzing my own behavior and infodumping about it

-------------------------------------------------------

For context, I'm autistic and adhd, and I went and talked to a psychologist a couple weeks ago and had some testing done

Personally, I don't really feel the need to have an official diagnosis for autism. I'm confident in my informed self-diagnosis (technically it was actually my parents who first suggested I might be autistic but I've learned a lot about it since then and now I'm pretty sure I'm more convinced than they are) and I just don't think a doctor's note will do much for me (totally understand and support anyone who does want to get diagnosed tho). Adhd however is another story. If I want meds that will actually work and accommodations with my school, they need proof, and as things are I am desperate for some help.

So the appointment I had a couple weeks ago was supposed to be for adhd testing, but apparently he also lowkey tested me for autism while we were there. Which like, fine, whatever, it would be sort of nice to have that validated I guess, but when we checked back in with him on the phone earlier this week he started using outdated and problematic terms like high-functioning and aspergers and I'll just say that it did not exactly inspire confidence

But that can of worms aside, let me get back to (mostly) adhd related ranting

I feel like there could be an essay about how the diagnostic process for adhd is flawed and doesn't work all that well for people who have an internalized notion that their worth as a person is dependent on their academic success and task performance and therefore spent their childhood and adolescence funneling all their efforts time and attention into school and generally being seen as a good well-behaved bright kid out of desperation to have value (and it worked- I've always made good grades, but what people don't see is the days, weeks, months of paralyzed procrastination, the anxiety-fueled mad rush in the end to get things done late, and the grace I'm inexplicably shown every time, without which my grades would be much worse)

I'm scared, that I'm going to be determined "too high functioning" to be diagnosed even though I'm currently doing basically nothing with my life outside of college and yet I'm technically failing like half of my classes right now, that they're going to say "well the signs weren't there when you were younger" even though there's a variety of explanations for why that might be, not the least of which being the fact that for some folks with both autism and adhd the traits of the two have a tendency to "hide" one another

Apparently he also ran an iq test on me, and he broke down the 5 scores to us; I scored in the upper average/above average bracket in all but the 4th, processing speed, in which I'm below average. And like yeah, I'm well aware that I'm slow, but I guess it's official now-

Anyway, my main point with the iq thing was that while he was telling us about my high scores in the first 3 areas, I'm sitting here getting more and more uneasy, bc I'm like yeah sure I'm intelligent or whatever but it isn't worth shit if I can't motivate myself to actually do anything with that potential, and the conditions under which I was tested just don't reflect my day to day life closely enough to give an accurate reading, in my opinion.

Basically I'm afraid this guy is going to look at the results of some tests- tests which I was really focused on bc of the intrinsic fear of failure that plagues my existence (even though rationally I know you can't fail a psychological evaluation) and bc I know it's a bitch of a process to even get tested in the first place and I wasn't going to waste the opportunity goddammit-

That he's going to look at them and decide that I'm "too smart" to have a learning disability, when, again, all the brains in the world wouldn't do me any good if I

1) don't have the ability to self-motivate and direct them at what I need to be working on, even if I've been beating myself up about that pile of homework or my disaster of a room for weeks or even months, and

2) have such a loose grasp on the concept of time and priorities that I have on multiple occasions found myself pulling all-nighters on personal projects or reading for pleasure or scrolling on my phone only to realize oh shit I have to get up for school in like two hours, oh fuck, I'm going to be exhausted all day, what happened to "let's go to sleep early this time, I'll just do this for like 5 more minutes and then call it a night"

or realize after one of those all-nighters that what was actually a period of about 10 hours feels more like 10 minutes to me ("man wasn't I literally just here to get dinner" the next morning, passing the caf on my way to class on exactly 0 hours of sleep and still having managed not to get any of my actual class work done in all that time)

And also just that tendency in itself is significant, to get so deeply hooked on something once it does manage to get my attention, that I often feel like I can't stop until outside forces demand it- staying up until 4am on a school night painting my phone case and texting my crush (14 or 15), making bracelet after bracelet at the kitchen table at ungodly hours of the night because I couldn't sleep and now that I'm on a roll I don't want to break the momentum (18, a few months ago), throwing horrific amounts of time at reading fanfiction of whatever series currently has my interest when I have so much work that needs to get done if I want to have a chance at passing my courses this semester (18, basically present), making a last minute birthday present for my aunt and being so caught up in the rush and the craft of what I was working on that I ignored my body's needs until I ended up pissing myself (12), etc

The fact that I've been meaning to catch up with my high school friends for weeks or months, literally something as simple as a "how have yall been" in the group chat, yet for some reason I still haven't gotten around to it

The fact that for all my alleged intelligence I still haven't learned to ride a bike or drive a car or apply for a job or develop a work-life balance or play any of the instruments I want to or have a thriving social life or feel like a person (I think these are more autism-related but I'm throwing them in anyway)

The fact that minor (or even just mistakenly perceived) disapproval or judgment or teasing or having a text left on read can send me spiraling into anxiety and convinced that everyone hates me and that I'm worthless or obnoxious or stupid (rejection sensitivity is a bitch)

The fact that when I try to read I have to make a constant conscious effort not to jump ahead and all over the place and I often have to reread the same passage multiple times to understand it because I realize that I wasn't actually paying attention the first couple of times, my mind elsewhere and my eyes wandering

I know even if I do get diagnosed they'll say it's inattentive, not hyperactive or combined, because the majority of my hyperactivity is either fairly subtle movements (because I'm socially anxious and clumsy and don't want to draw attention to myself or run the risk of breaking or disturbing something) or just straight up in my head. Like sure I'm not a nine year old boy who can't sit still in class and is constantly bouncing around all over the place and getting into trouble and driving his parents and teachers crazy (bc being seen as annoying and unruly by authority figures would have broken me), but there's always so much noise in my brain, it's always talking or playing music in the background or thinking about the 47 different projects I need to be working on and the media it wants to be engaging with instead and the 1000s of things there are to worry about in a day; sometimes I'll get stuck in a loop where I'm mentally repeating a word or phrase over and over and over again until I feel like I'm going crazy

All of this is stuff that this guy doesn't see, and that worries me when it comes to the validity of his assessment

But basically, what I'm trying to say is, I swear to god if the people around me don't believe that there's clearly something not neurotypical going on here I'm going to fucking riot

And, ranting aside, I want to end this post with a note to all my fellow neurodiverse folks who are waiting for answers or treatment or validation or support or whatever.

I feel you. Hang in there. You have my well wishes in your endeavors. And remember, it's ok to be happy with or proud of who you are and what makes you different, it's ok to embrace your neurodiversity while also acknowledging how difficult it can be to live with and the fact that you might need extra time or support with things that seem to come easily to other people. It's ok to admit that it's fucking hard sometimes, and it's ok to ask for help. Take care, mates

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hermitcraftheadcanons · 4 years

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Apartment AU Masterpost:

-Everyone lives in an apartment complex.

-Xisuma as landlord? Or just a really well looked up to person in the complex. Whichever works for you!

-Pranks all the time. Everyone's constantly pranking each other.

-Everyone has 'normal people jobs.' Perhaps Joe is an English teacher? (Cleo's also a teacher. (Irl.) Omg, what if they teach at the same school?) Maybe Bdubs is a professional interior designer? Maybe Cub builds computers? Go nuts, get creative.

-Actually, screw it. Bdubs works at IKEA.

-Everyone meets up every Friday night to go to the pub or go bowling or just do something together.

-They have a discord server because of course they do.

-European Hermits are early-birds, American hermits are night-owls. (This is the only way I can think to portray timezones and waking hours when everyone's living in the same building.)

-They all still love minecraft, don't worry.

-Keralis has so many books his flat is basically a library. He lets people come in and borrow books for a small fee.

-Tinfoilchef is a bit of a shut in but everyone makes an effort to include him.

-Etho would also be a cryptid like Xisuma. Like, we've seen Xisuma's whole body other than his face but the best we know about Etho is that: 1. He exists and 2. From the, like, one single real life photo he's shared, he broke a headset. Also, 3. Allegedly, he's buff. Otherwise; Beef and Etho invite Pause (who lives elsewhere,) over at random intervals to [play ctm maps] and do god knows what. Bdoubs works at IKEA but is the person to make the room displays, y'know.

-Scar sells dice and other tabletop rpg supplies that he designs. His shop is magiccrystals. com

-Cub and Scar made business with the guy who runs the fight club. They get half of the profits and everyone’s always wondering how those two can always afford the most expensive Christmas gifts for everyone.

-Mumbo could be an engineer or work on a STEM field, and he works on some really important and impressive projects and that would explain his polish person, Exept, when it comes to helping another hermit to change a lightbulb or fix a microwave he is an absolute disaster.

-Grian owns a parrot that knows everyones' names and faces and greets them when they come in.

-Scar's apartment has a balcony filled with plants and he has to bring them inside for the winter. (I'm assuming that all 4 seasons happen) Even without the balcony plants, his place is still full of indoor plants including his favorite venus flytrap. There is always a plant knocked over from Jellie's shenanigans. Jellie is supposed to stay in his apartment, however she keeps on getting out somehow, even getting to Xisuma's apartment occasionally.

-There's a grassy patch out back that acts as a backyard, but Stress has effectively taken it over. Perfect for flowers of all colors in the spring and summer, and during the winter you KNOW she’s building an ice castle from which to throw snowball at all her friends.

-Beef and, when he’s visiting, Pause get a lot of questions about Etho (since unlike X who gets one tightlipped visitor in shape of his brother Etho gets two that are willing to be vague) however they charge a fee for people to guess. They’d never actually sell him out but the guesses are always something technical related so there’s not much of a risk, he actually works as a botanist/gardener.

-Iskall is extremely good at ice hockey and, as resident Canadians, Etho and Beef have played with him. However Iskall only knows that he’s played with Beef because both beef and etho refuse to tell him who in the rink was Etho when they played.

-The only person who’s seen Xisuma's face is Keralis.

-Nobody knows what Grian does for a job. Like, when they think they've figured it out what he does, they're thrown through a loop again because he does a lot of odd jobs. Need help with a pet? Grian can help! Rip on your clothes? Don't worry, Grian knows how to fix it! Ect.

-Grian's an assassin. Iskall will make assassin jokes and Grian, without looking up from his coffee will go: "that's not how that works!" And then go back to being quiet. Everyone's like ????

-I love the idea of Grian knowing all these cool facts and when anyone acts he says 'it's because of his job,' and they still can't figure out what he does. He keeps correcting Iskall on assassin facts but they're all just like 'oh Grian sure must love those types of movies, huh.'

-Cleo teaches Joe's kid. (That means she teaches either year 2 or year 3? // 1st grade or 2nd grade?)

-Grian's family is in the mafia but he mostly just vibes. Sure, he works with the mafia, but he keeps his regular life away from work and none of the hermits (besides False because she saved the Mafia boss) know. Imagine boss looking at False and going, 'oh hey, you're already protected.' False is confused and says 'what?' But the Mafia Boss has already left.

-Etho is always in full kakashi cosplay.

-Honorary hermits apartment au: zloy and pixl have a radio show but also act as private investigators. Falsie hires them to investigate how she got the protection of the mafia. On their investigation they start asking Elybeat (that lives on a building right next to the hermits) about weird behaviors that he might have seen. Ely just goes ‘all of what they do is weird. I’ve recorded weird stuff they say and remixed it. They though it was funny and put the remixes as their elevator music.'

-Everyone thinks Etho is an assassin, but really, he's a horticulturist/botanist. He doesn't bother to correct them cause it means he doesn't get pranked, (or, as often.) Maybe someone finds out eventually? I don't know who. Maybe Doc and they keep it hush hush cause they think it's funny or something. || Maybe Bdubs finds out, (because I think he's seen Naruto?? Swear I saw a Twitter post where he recognized a Naruto joke) and he's the only one that recognizes that Etho's dressed like Kakashi and NOT an assassin. (That's lowkey a joke though.)

-Someone warns Grian against parking euro because they think Etho's an assassin and Grian just kinda goes: "alright then." Knowing that there's no way Etho is an assassin, but also realising how the hermits view that profession, he most likely starts feeling kinda bad.

-Beef used to be a car photographer and Mumbo takes photographs as a sideline when he was in college. They would occasionally chat about their past experience in the photography field and sometimes gush about cars.

-Hermit Challenges was actually a truth or dare game among the hermits. Mumbo was basically delirious from lack of sleep to explain his absolute gremlin energy. Mumbo dares Grian to steal front doors before passing out and everyone decided that was the end of that game. No one thought Grian would do the dare. A week later, everyone but Etho and Xisuma were missing their front doors (including Grian.) He stuck them in his bathroom so no one immediately saw the doors.

-As already established, Joe constantly hangs at Keralis's library. Let's say he also has a hobby for writing, and one time he was asking to himself how *insert really specific murder scene* would work in real life. Grian or Doc then overheard him and answers him in a also very specific way, he thanks them with 0 concerns and continues with his writing.

-Etho has been an assassin but it was many years ago, and retired to care for plants. (As you do.) He got hired by The Goatfather but intentionally botched the killings because, 'hey now those two are friends >:(' He and Bdubs still have the endrod game but it involves the whole apartment building and several discord messages going "located" or "flashlight on the move.'

-Stress paints all the hermit's door and puts their names on them. (-🌿)

-The organisization Grian works for is called "The Watchers!" They text him in riddles of what his missions are. This is so that if anyone peaks at his phone, they don't understand immediately!

-What if in YHS happen because of grian family and Sam is from an other family who does not support the grain family. So grian will not bring up high school and school and when joe and Cleo talk about there student grian sometimes cringes remember what happened in high school. (-🌿)

-Grian and Mumbo's hobbits holes were two cupboards they found on their respective apartments and decided to make a room out of them and named them their hobbit holes after they found out they both had them (-🐿️)

-What if it's a really old apartment and the 'hobbit holes' actually connect to each others apartment. (-🐺)

-Mumbo has these periods when he overworks like crazy and when they're over - he sleeps for like 24-36 hours straight. Everybody knows about this and help him if he falls asleep in random plaxes around the apartment. Mumbo once fell asleep right before his door and Grian tried to help him get inside while mumbling. Guess which remix were aded to the elevator music next week.

-Whenever anyone is annoyed or upset, grian sometimes pops his head up from his book and goes "who do I need to kill?" No one takes him seriously though he *would* kill for any of his friends.

-People who have left the server work nearby but have moved to new apartments. (For example, Welsknight works at a nearby food truck) (-☘️)

-With the Grian being a spy you get several oints where he thinks he's been found out but no one puts the and two together. They're all like: "Grian just likes action movies I guess."

-Scar's "wizard robe" is a bathrobe he owns. One day he forgets to change and just walks out in a bathrobe and no pants.

-Since Cleo teaches Joe's kid, maybe that extends to all the hermits' kids? Like the ones that have them, like not at the same time but at some point you know?

-I don't think I saw any regarding headgames, but I could've missed it. Anyways, what if Cleo wanted to make a big Scrapbook in her free time of all her friends, so she asks everybody to try and get pictures. So the PVP heads are candid photos, and the tradeable one are like selfies or group pictures. The other heads could just be a requirement for the picture like have a sheep in the picture. And maybe she gives the winners dinner payed by her or something.

-On the head cannon that hermits that aren’t on the server work nearby, Biffa is the actual mayor.

-Are mobs (and half mobs by extension) still a thing in apartment au? Cause if not I propose that Jevin just has cloob blue dyed hair and a bunch of blue tattoos.

-XB bakes a lot and always shares the food he makes with the others. They adore his cookies. Scar really wants to make some cookies in the shapes of disney characters with him, but he's too shy to ask. (-nameless anon)

-Perhaps Mumbo and Iskall are also protected by the mafia because of grian (perhaps scar is too) They and False have a 'we are protected and have no idea why' group (-Frost Anon)

-Imagine the hermits want to throw a nice party but X and Etho were kinda like “yeah no i’ll pass” so they make it a masquerade so that they can come- and then the whole night no one knows who anyone really is, but still has a really good time.

-Grian wanted a pet parrot, but felt like he would be terrible at taking care of one so he has toy parrots instead, those that have pre made phrases and such, and he is proud of his toy parrot pets. (-🐿️)

-Xisuma hosts a podcast! That's where all of his Xisuma speaks content ends up coming from. (-🇵🇭)

-Etho has a secret food blog called "Cooking With Etho" (based on the actual cooking with Etho segment in usually his modded stuff.) He also knows that there's hermits that either: have no idea how to cook properly or can't cook real meals due to their work. To help with this, sometimes he leaves finished meals or recipes with them (outside their doors or somehow in their fridge) and no one knows who does it prompting the theory of a self care ghost haunting the building.

(All of those in red were from Anons!)

-Joe works as a LAMP Developer.

-False has an assortment of swords, knives, etc. She even had a bow! She also has a dummy to practice fighting on.

(-@unpredictable-pancake.)

-Stress is a wedding designer. (-@the-angry-numel.)

-Iskall also works at IKEA with Bdubs. (-@mandatedempathy.)

-There's a local club that's basically fight club a few people are in. False, Iskall and a couple others are in.

-Hypno is kind of a bit of a loner. Everyone on the floor considers him a friend but he doesn't really have a best friend. He just does his own thing and people usually let him do that. He's fine with it.

-XB and Joe spend a lot of time at Keralis' library house just reading the books. Keralis usually charges every except those two because 1. They're there so often and 2. They're basically his room mates at this point. (-@tomcatacaphe.)

-Ren works at a bar as a bartender or musician. (-@friendlyneighbourhoodpieceoftrash.)

-Building on the last thing with Ren as a musician or working at a bar, he works at a bar as a server but does live music on weekends. It's the bar/pub/restaurant that the hermits sometimes hang out at together.

-I can see Grian working at a pet shop but also on the side of the mafia because of YHS. Or at least he used to be involved with the mafia.

-Beef once had to cart Etho off to the hospital for a chemical burn and explain to the other tenants that the explosion heard suspiciously close by wasn’t mafia activity. Etho is just an idiot with a hobby of making homemade fireworks.

-(-@limelocked.)

-False is the chief of police for the town they live in. Iskall is a hired assassin who normally gets employed by the mysterious figure GOATfather. Doc is the GOATfather, head of the mafia. Falsie is trying to hunt down these two as well as any others associated with them. The nHo is part of the mafia. Falsie has no idea any of them are in the mafia and they refuse to kill her because she has become such a close friend to them.

-Maybe Grian is a spy instead of an assassin? The group the Watchers is a government policing organization bent on trying to crack down on mob activity in the area.

(-@creator0fchaos.)

-The elevator music is hermitgang and remixes. -(@lookitsspacekween.)

-Zedaph is a game show host. Tango makes cartoons. (-@aphion-and-on.)

-Come on, let Iskall play ice hockey! Maybe not professionally if it doesn't work for the AU but he's v good at least. (-@automnalsaffron.)

-Grian maybe works at an animal shelter or an animal rehabilitation center. So everyone who has a pet usually comes to him for help if their pet is sick or injured. (-@vahco.)

-Grian has a safe full of guns, all the Hermits know about it but think they're fake. (-@xxpzmistxx)

-X never comes out of his room so no one’s seen his face. The only way he communicates is via text, Discord, and an intercom right by his door. He almost always gets groceries whenever the hermits are busy and therefore have no time to go out- but the hermits know he’s a real person because sometimes they hear guitar solos coming from his room.

-Hypno is a voice actor!

-Joe and Cleo often go home at the same time, and all the way it's almost always Cleo complaining about her students being bratty and the likes (Bonus points if Joe carpools with Cleo, who owns a car.)

-False unknowingly helps the boss of the mafia after seeing him wounded on a street one day, earning her their protection.

-As a callback to Season 6, Stress became a cat lady for a bit while False became a dog lady. As an added bonus: Cleo became nuts when Cub decided to gift her with spiders for her birthday or some other event.

-Mumbo still sidelines as a cameraman/film director for short documentaries and comedy sketches where he often invites Zed and his buddy Jack to act maybe?

-The first time X was proven to be an actual person was when the girls temporarily kicked the boys out to have the apartment all to themselves for a girls’ night which prompted the boys to have their own boys’ night. X was wearing his grey helmet that night so his face was still obscured tho, and from that day forward they always had a weekly girls’ night and boys’ night alternating on which group gets to have the apartment to themselves.

-False may seem like she can take a shot or two, but in reality she’s very lightweight and easily drunk, and is always the first one wasted. She becomes a flirty drunk who flirts with everyone and everything when she’s tipsy, an angry drunk the more she drinks and eventually a sad drunk before passing out. Cleo and Stress, her drinking buddies, always find amusement in this.

-As a callback to Xb living a thousand blocks away from society in s7, maybe he lives at the highest floor where not many (if not no one) occupies?

(-@heyitsroby.)

-Civil War started because they used to get groceries delivered to their doors and Grian started stealing them when they were left in the doorstep. Everyone stole each others groceries until one day they went into teamss of one side vs the other side of the corridor to the other until Grian stole so many groceries Dic was like 'Dammit!' He started going to the store to get groceries instead of getting them delivered to his door after that. (-@sayeshaa1108.)

-Regarding apartment au: Zedaph is similar to miu iruma from danganronpa: making the weirdest inventions and coaxing the other hermits into doing weird things for science. (-@oh-hecc-im-stupid.)

-Idk if Doc has a profession yet in the apartment au, but it just struck me- what if he owned a private casino?? Cause of s7? Just a thought! (-@853dragons.)

-Cleo really enjoys doing miniature diorama scenes. Like the tiny dudes from "Night at The Museum". She's like crazy good at it, and Joe will sometimes base his poems and stories off of her dioramas. Also maybe Joe has published a book of poems and short stories? (-@lynxes15.)

-Doc works as a social engineer and part time mafia boss. He rarely shows up for game nights. However, when he does, nobody else stands a chance.

-Tango, Impulse and Zedaph go over to each other's rooms so often they practically live together in an apartment room 3X bigger than everyone else.

(-@trashedeggnog.)

LINK TO NEXT POST: https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/617640752709861376/apartmentau-masterpost-2-link-to-previous-the

Posts with TW:

Guns, Gangs, Getting Shot. Don't read if you can't handle this topics.

-Everyone finds out Grian is an assassin/mafia boss because someone from a different gang (*cough cough* sam gladiator *cough cough*) found out where he lives and tried to murder him. Queue epic gun fight scene. If you want some angst, Grian gets shot a couple of times in the fight but didn’t realize it because of the adrenaline and passes out. (-Anon.)

-Imagine someone like, finding Grian's guns and weapons and just being :0 and Grian is a little nervous. But then the other hermit just think the guns are cool (it's probably either etho or doc) and they're just gushing over how cool the guns are. Grian is relieved. (-Anon.)

-iJevin owns at least one gun. He's not in the mafia or a cop or anything, it's just cool and legal so he as one. He's the constant counter for the other gun owning hermits who have them for more mafia related purposes (context: jevin owns at least one gun irl) (-Anon.)

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allsassnoclass · 2 years

Note

hello hazel!! it's your hoops boy. it is 12:32am and ive spent the last couple of hours (re)watching the good place. an update on my life: i am at my grandparents' house with my older sister and my cousins & aunt & uncle (mom's sister's family). tomorrow afternoon we will drive upstate to my grandma's cousin's upstate house where we always have thanksgiving, and the rest of my family is gonna meet us there. at this current exact moment however i am not actually in my grandparents' house because they don't have the space to put up our whole extended family, so my older sister and my same-age cousin and i are staying across the street in the neighbors' house which has been generously offered to us. this is nice of them to offer but there are no snacks here nor any way for me to make tea, so it's not ideal. however there IS a super cute cat named dublin. she is very friendly but also i hate being covered in cat fur so it's a trade off every time. i wish cats didn't shed.

ANYWAY, that aside i'm doing okay. i do desperately need to finish my research project design though, so i can start, yknow, collecting data, and also i have a homework assignment related to the project design that i equally desperately need to complete and turn in. i hate my stupid pushover methods prof. who wants this stress on break? not me !!! ummm what else. i listened to finneas's new album on the train today and i LOVED it. also listened to greatest hits and it was mostly good, some of it good weird, some it just plain weird and not for me. numb remains my favorite song. i don't even know how familiar you are with parx. for some reason in my head you're a parx person. if so then nice job well done bella's memory. if not then may i recommend the song numb.

i hope the 1.3k writing is going/went well !!!! i am sending you ALLLLL the writing vibes. it sucks to set a goal and then feel like you're not going to manage to meet it. i hope you do manage it though!! but if you don't i'm still proud of you for all of the writing you got done this month. imagine if you hadn't had nano motivating you at all!!! you might have written even less. consider it a victory for yourself. and your future readers. okay ! i love you!!! i'm exhausted i might try and sleep now since i have no reason (read: snacks) to stay up for. goodnight !!! xoxo bella

yo doggy troy my hoops boy! nice to have you here

wowza that's a lot of family! we used to do thanksgiving up at my aunt's house (she lives in the same town as my grandma so it was the central hub) but we haven't been for a few years for various reasons. i wish we were able to go this year, but it's difficult with my siblings' work and coordinating college for the past few years and such. anyway, that neighbor is super nice to let y'all stay and i'm so glad that you get to hang out with a cat, although i understand the gripe about cat fur. i hope the drive upstate and thanksgiving itself is good for you!!!

homework over break absolutely sucks. no students should have to do work over break, that's why it's called BREAK. i am not actually a parx person. the only song of theirs that i'm familiar enough to name upon hearing is lucky people, which is on my january playlist. i will put numb on my new music playlist though!

i actually!!!!!! managed to meet and SURPASS my goal today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! which is very very exciting. (i wrote over 2k today!!!!) there is still hope to meet my nano word goal yet, although the fic will still not be completed because it is going to be longer than i anticipated and therefore longer than the word count i set. i am not yet halfway done i don't think. it is a very good thing that i tried to write it for nano because otherwise december would be very extremely stressful trying to get this guy done. i think last year i was writing meet me under the mistletoe right up until christmas, which was not great and very stressful, whereas i do think i'll have time to let this sit so i can properly edit it rather than rushing to finish writing and not allowing the proper time for it to set.

i love you too! i hope you figure out all of your gift things and sleep very soon

#ask #bella #do you remember that thing we talked about a few days ago #about me not being allowed to set fic due dates for a few months after ficmas ends?#i think i need you to hold me to that #no valentine's fic this year. i can start it but if i try to finish it i'll get stressed and have no time for other fic #so i can write it for next year maybe. but not this one #after the 12th day of ficmas no more self-imposed fic deadlines until at least march #anywho. love you bunches

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ponyregrets · 7 years

Note

Hey Chash! I know you're super busy both fic-wise and in rl, but if you have time and are interested, I was wondering if you might be interested in writing Bellamy's POV in "for what it's worth it was worth all the while" for my birthday next Tuesday? Seriously, though, no pressure.

A few days late, but happy birthday!! Original fic here, alt-POV on AO3 here.

“So, what’s the end-game here?” Miller asks.

“It’s Ascension,” Bellamy shoots back. “You know how to play Ascension.”

Miller snorts, and Bellamy has to admit, he basically deserves it. “I know you don’t really like your actual classmates, but you can’t tell me you actually want to spend the whole weekend hanging out with a girl who has another boyfriend.” He pauses. “Even if Monty thinks it’s bullshit.”

It’s objectively a bizarre statement. “What exactly does he think is bullshit?”

“He and Jasper were betting on what weird thing Clarke was going to do here before she showed up. I don’t really remember her from school,” he adds. “But apparently they weren’t sure she was going to come and when she got here with a boyfriend, Monty decided they were fake dating.”

“That’s not a thing,” he says.

“Yeah, that was my take on it. So I wouldn’t get your hopes up.”

“Talking to a pretty girl doesn’t count as getting my hopes up.” He pauses. “Also I wasn’t even thinking they weren’t a real couple before you said it, so you’re the one getting my hopes up. Dick.”

“Talking to a pretty girl who lives in your city,” Miller says. “Who apparently might have a boyfriend.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen movies,” he says, overly casual. “Even if they’re not dating now, they will be by the end of the weekend. That’s how it works. You bring someone as a fake date and then feelings turn real.”

“Yeah, that checks out. You’ve just been single for a while,” he adds, in his we are functioning adults who can discuss feelings voice. It’s always a terrifying voice, coming from Miller.

“And I’m still single. This doesn’t change that. Seriously, I’m not sure what you’re worried about. I’m making new friends. Do you think I’m going to like her better than you? Don’t worry, you’re still my number-one person I’d date if they were single, you know that. No one can take that away from you.”

Miller snorts. “Yeah, I’m breaking your heart every day. Also, she’s on her way over, so act normal.”

“You act normal,” he shoots back, and resists the urge to look around for her.

The thing is, Miller isn’t exactly wrong. Bellamy has been single for a while, and he did feel a sharp, sudden spike of interest at the first sight of Clarke, all big eyes and soft-looking hair, with a slightly husky voice and perfectly curved smile. She was really cute, on top of being vaguely familiar, and he’d been pretty pumped to learn she was friends with Octavia, because that meant he’d absolutely be seeing more of her.

But then she said she had a boyfriend, and introduced him to said boyfriend, and Bellamy tried to stop thinking of her as a girl he’d like to make out with and start thinking of her as a girl he’d like to get to know.

Unfortunately, he still kind of wants to make out with her, and Miller noticed, so now he’s going to be all self-conscious about it. Even though he’s not doing anything wrong. He’s not going to make out with her.

So when she sits down next to him, he just offers a smile and says, “Morning. Sleep well?”

Her face scrunches up, and he really wishes Miller wasn’t here. Mostly because now he’s paranoid about noticing how cute she is. “Until Lincoln woke up at the crack of dawn for hiking, yeah. Don’t tell me Monty went too,” she adds, to Miller.

“Yeah, no. He and Raven and Jasper are on a conference call for work. You know them, they can’t just leave the company alone.”

Her smile indicates that she thinks her friends’ workaholic tendencies are endearing. “So we won’t see them for the rest of the weekend?”

“Most likely.”

“But O and your boyfriend are going to be eaten by cougars. So they’re probably the worst off.” He considers for a minute, and then adds, “Until your ex shows up, anyway.”

He still feels a little weird talking about the ex; he remembers how much O disliked her, and the fact that it went wrong and Clarke’s not thrilled about seeing her again doesn’t make it feel an easier to navigate. Mostly it feels like he’s tuning in in the middle of a soap opera and trying to figure out how all the characters relate and which ones he’s supposed to be rooting for.

“Do I have to go hiking to get eaten by cougars?” Clarke asks, sounding thoughtful. “Or can I just get eaten here? If I don’t have to hike, the cougars sound better than my ex.”

He has to smile. “Glad we figured that out. Eaten alive is fine, as long as you can do it inside.”

“Basically.” She turns her attention back to Miller. “What are you guys doing today?”

Miller rolls his eyes. “Dragging Monty off the phone. For his own good. He’s using vacation days for this. I assume you’ve got stuff to do with your actual classmates,” he adds, to Bellamy, like he’s just setting him up to admit he’s avoiding everyone he knows. Which he is. Bellamy doesn’t even know why they’re friends.

“Fuck no, all the official activities are bullshit.” He opens his mouth to say what he was planning to do, and then realizes Miller is going to make fun of him. And Clarke might make fun of him. And both of them might think he’s trying to do something she’ll like to impress her or something, which he isn’t. It’s not his fault he likes museums. “I was actually going to hit up the college museum,” he says anyway, because it’s not like lying is going to improve the situation.

Clarke perks up; he doesn’t check Miller for a reaction. “Yeah? Do they have anything special going on?”

“Comic-book art exhibit.”

She’s beaming. It’s possible he’ll never be able to look at Miller again. This isn’t his fault. He and Clarke have similar interests, apparently. He’s not doing anything special. “That sounds awesome, can I come?”

“I will also want to check out other stuff.”

“You got the part where I’m an artist who works part-time at a museum, right?” she asks, with a roll of her eyes. “Do you think I don’t want to look at at everything?”

It’s not surprising, but it is awesome.

Again, never looking at Miller again. They don’t live in the same place. He can avoid eye contact for the foreseeable future. It won’t even be that hard.

“Yeah, okay, that was stupid of me. Of course you’re welcome.”

“Awesome, that sounds so much better than sitting around my room all day. When were you going? After breakfast?”

“Yeah. I figure once O is back, she’ll have plans, because she always does, so I have to do my own thing while she’s occupied.” He doesn’t look at Miller, but he does make his move in Ascension. “What about you? You want to come?”

“I gotta drag Monty out of whatever hole he’s in. But you guys have fun.”

Bellamy can hear him smirking. He’s the worst.

“Tell them whatever they’re doing will be there after the reunion,” Clarke says. “Also that the sun is nice and their friend.”

“I’m never going to sell them on that one.”

“Yeah, I don’t even buy it.” She stretches, bumps her shoulder against Bellamy’s. “So, just you and me?”

He manages a smile. “Just you and me.”

Clarke’s quiet as they walk over to the museum, and Bellamy’s struggling for a conversation starter when she asks, “When did Octavia tell you about my ex?”

The question is so unexpected it takes him a second to process it. “Huh?”

Clarke ducks her head, a faint flush on her cheeks. “Just–I was kind of worried she was going to still be mad at me. I was kind of a dick senior year with the whole thing, and we haven’t done that well keeping up with each other.”

It does make some sense. “Oh, that. I did get some god, Clarke’s girlfriend is an asshole calls your senior year, yeah. Honestly, I think she was just stressed, though. She was freaking out about graduation and all you guys going your separate ways.”

She lets out a small, self-deprecating snort. “Which we did.”

“Yeah, but–she’s not holding a grudge,” he assures her. “Don’t worry. She mentioned you were in Boston when she took her job and she was hoping to reconnect, but that’s about all I’ve heard about you in the last few years. It’s not like she still calls me up to say your girlfriend was an asshole five years ago.”

She grins. “I tell Lincoln how my girlfriend was an asshole five years ago all the time.”

“Yeah, it’s probably more relevant to your life.” She brought it up, so he feels safe adding, “I didn’t get that much detail about how she was an asshole, aside from O not liking her. Which, uh–O doesn’t always have the most unbiased opinions.”

“Neither do I, she’s my ex,” she says with a smile. But she pauses, thinking it over. “Do you have–some people just make you see all the worst stuff about yourself, you know?”

Part of him does get it, but more of him doesn’t, not really. It never feels like news, when people do that. Just like confirmation. “I like to think I kind of do that myself.”

Her reaction is instant, and that’s enough to make him laugh. “I hope not, it sucks.” She considers again. “It’s not quite that, just–whenever I see her or my mom, I think about what my life was supposed to be at this point. And I don’t want that life, but I feel like I should.” Another pause, and then she adds, deliberate, “Also, she’s just really good at making people feel shitty about themselves. Or she was.”

It seems like a lousy quality for a significant other, but she is Clarke’s ex. And Lincoln seems to be a big improvement. “You seem like you’re doing fine to me. But I grew up poor, so just having balance in my savings account is awesome as far as I’m concerned.”

“I grew up stupid rich. So my idea of success is based a lot on that. Status and shit.”

“Yeah, I remember that too. Octavia might have called you a spoiled princess a lot your freshman year.”

Clarke seems pleased by the statement, and it is a little strange, connecting this living, breathing girl to the person from his sister’s stories, the one she never seemed fully aware how she felt about. “I really was. I was so sheltered and spoiled when I got here.”

“You seem like a pretty normal person now,” he offers.

“I’m trying.”

He holds the museum door open, and she nods her thanks as they go inside. “Did she tell you about me? I’m starting to feel like a creep, remembering this much about you.”

She shoots him a grin. “She hated some girl you dated when we were juniors.”

It takes him a second to dredge up the memory. “Roma, yeah. She really hated Roma.”

“And she said you pretty much raised her,” she adds, her voice a little soft, like she’s really impressed or something.

And she has a boyfriend. A very hot boyfriend.

But he can make a good impression as a friend, right?

“Pretty much. Our grandma died when O was five, and after that, yeah–it was just me and her, honestly.” He shrugs. “I don’t think Mom really wanted kids, so she just let us fend for ourselves.”

“When did she die?” she asks, curious. “She did, right?”

“Yeah, four years ago. Don’t say you’re sorry,” he tells her, before she can do more than open her mouth. “It’s awkward if I have to pretend it made a difference in my life. Also, it’s been four years.”

She smiles with half her mouth. “I was going to say that’s when my dad died.”

For a second, he hesitates, but she seems fairly cool about it, so he says, “I assume I should actually be sorry about that?”

“Up to you. But I miss him, yeah.”

“Then I’m sorry. What happened?”

“Car crash. It was the last straw for me and my mom too, so–it’s basically just been me and Lincoln since then.”

He’s going to hell, like, immediately. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Monty is so full of shit. “He seems like a really cool guy,” he says, and it’s true. He really does seem great. He’s looking forward to spending more time with both of them.

Really, he is. Just can’t wait.

But a part of him is still hoping Lincoln doesn’t much like museums.

“Why are all the hot people dating each other?” Octavia asks. She finished with her hike, showered, and told him to come over to her room so she could bother him, which sounded like an improvement over being anti-social in his own room. He can not talk to anyone alone in his own room any time. That’s his plan most weekends. He’s going to take advantage of the chance to be social while he has it.

“Because they’re hot,” he says. “Why wouldn’t they be dating each other?”

“I’m hot. Why can’t they be dating me?”

“Your shitty personality,” he teases.

“Shut up, Bell.”

“Is this about Clarke’s boyfriend?”

“He’s really hot, right?”

“Not my type,” he says, with a shrug. “But sorry about your life. Does everyone come to reunions planning to hook up? I just wanted to see you and show my classmates I’m still hotter than they are. I wasn’t cruising for a love connection. I’m starting to feel like I was the only one.”

“I’m not either. I’m just saying.”

“Uh huh.” He sighs, puts his arm over his eyes. “I should go to my class dinner, right? Otherwise I have to pay for food.”

“And if you don’t see them, how are they gonna know you’re hotter than they are?”

He snorts. “Yeah, that’s true too.” After another second of indulging his own petulance, he pushes himself up. “Okay. I’ll probably see if any of the people I sorta liked want to hang out tonight. Text me if you’re doing anything better, though.”

“You know me, I’ll go anywhere with alcohol. I’ll come to you.”

“Man, whoever raised you did such a shitty job.”

“Right? I should ask for a refund.” She gives him a big smile. “Have fun. Keep me posted on where to drink.”

“I think you’ll figure it out. See you later, O.”

It’s not like Bellamy hated his classmates or anything. But most of his close friends ended up being either older or younger than he was, and he didn’t end up bonding that much with anyone. But there were people he sort of liked.

That being said, he’s still not entirely sure how he ends up in the kings game.

He understands all the individual steps, obviously. First he meets up with Murphy, who was his roommate freshman year, and seems like as good a person as any to tag along with, despite his overwhelming Murphy-ness. He’s at least as generally unimpressed with school spirit and class unity as Bellamy is, and they pick up a few other people as they go, and by the time someone suggests kings, he’s tipsy and on good terms with the world, so he goes along with it.

When he invites his sister, he tells her to bring whoever she wants, and he’s antsy until she arrives. As he expected, she’s got a horde with her, which has only grown since he last saw her.

“This is my little sister,” he announces, to his own smaller group. “And all her friends. I don’t even know you guys, sorry,” he adds, to the two girls he hasn’t seen before. “O’s like a person katamari.”

“No one gets your dorky references, Bell. This is Clarke’s ex, Lexa, and her girlfriend, Costia. It was Costia, right?”

“Yes,” says the girl. “Nice to meet you.”

His eyes flick to Clarke automatically, and she gives him a small smile. “Cool,” he says. “Nice to meet you guys too. I’d introduce everyone, but it seems like a pain, so I figure we should just start drinking and let it sort itself out.”

“Alcohol is the great equalizer,” Clarke agrees, and takes a seat next to him. She’s still pretty, and she’ll probably get prettier the drunker he gets.

Monty elbows Jasper, and Bellamy tries to ignore that. On top of not making eye contact with Miller. He’s going to end this weekend unable to talk to anyone he has ever met in his life.

That’s cool. He can probably make new friends. It can’t be that hard.

“Everyone know kings?” Echo asks. “Usual rules. Two is for you, pick someone to drink. Three is for me, you drink. Four is for floor, last person to touch the floor wins. Five is for guys, anyone who IDs as male drink. Six is for chicks, ditto for IDing as female. Seven is heaven, reach up. Eight, pick a mate to drink with you. Nine is rhymes, ten is truth or dare, jacks are Never Have I Ever. Queen is Questions, King you make your own rule, and Ace is waterfall. Cool?” She gets a round of vague agreement and nods. “Cool. Ready?”

Bellamy feels way too old to be playing kings, but it is kind of fun, in a sort of nostalgic way. And it’s oddly more fun to be doing it with Octavia; the two of them have always been close, but never peers, and it’s kind of nice feeling like he’s equal to her, like they’re peers for the first time ever.

And then Murphy says, “Bellamy, I dare you to kiss someone.”

The dare response was traditional; he and Murphy always dare each other, and asking for a truth would have been a sign of weakness. But it’s really not the dare he was expecting.

“Seriously?”

“What?”

“That’s really tame for you,” he says, and regrets it instantly.

Murphy smirks. “Would you rather streak? You can streak.”

“No takebacks,” he says, and then realizes he has to kiss someone.

It’s not like he doesn’t have options. The circle is fairly large, and he knows about half the people in it. He’s kissed some number of them. But he’d have to crawl across the cards to get to most of the people he knew before this weekend, and it’s not like he wants to kiss Murphy, even if it would serve him right. He could kiss Miller, but–

But Clarke’s been kind of leaning in to talk to him a lot, and smiling, and he’s just drunk enough to feel kind of stupid and reckless with it.

“You mind?” he asks her, with half a smile.

She and Lincoln exchange a look and they both shrug, and she turns back to him, a smile playing on her own lips, and cocks her head in invitation.

Bellamy hasn’t kissed someone on a dare since college, and not even recent college. That was, like, sophomore year shit. But it doesn’t actually feel as intimidating as it did back then, when he was hormonal and angsty basically all the time. Now he’s just–kissing a pretty girl with a boyfriend. It’s nothing. He doesn’t know what Murphy was thinking.

It occurs to him as he’s leaning in that he drank on being into her earlier, and this might be weird, but–she knows that too, and her eyes are fluttering shut, so she can’t be too opposed to the whole thing.

It’s just a kiss.

Her mouth is soft and tastes like alcohol and fruit juice. He’s not going to slip her tongue or anything, Murphy can’t possibly expect that, but even without, it’s nice. He likes kissing, and the warmth of her skin against his, the pliancy of her lips that makes him think, just for a second, that if he deepened the kiss, she’d let him. She’d kiss back.

So he pulls away before he can decide to try it.

Her eyes are still closed, her lips slightly parted, and–he can’t be reading these signals entirely wrong, right? He’s not good at this. The signals have to be pretty strong for him to even notice. So–

“I’m going to have you streak next time,” Murphy says, and for the first time he’s grateful for Murphy’s inability to keep his mouth shut.

“There are only two tens left,” he shoots back, and his voice comes out normal.

Clarke leans into Lincoln, and he tries not to think about it. “You should try that,” she says.

He can hear the smile in Lincoln’s voice, so that’s–something? Fucked if he knows. He’s either had too much or too little to drink. Either way, he’s not prepared for this situation. “If I get a ten,” he says, “I intend to.”

By the time kings is done, Bellamy’s leading theory is that Clarke and Lincoln are in an open, poly relationship, and one or both of them wants to fuck him, which is–flattering, and kind of fine, except that he hasn’t been good at casual sex in a while. And as much as he thinks sex with Clarke would be fun, he’s not really looking for a one-and-done thing.

Maybe it’s a sign of maturity.

He started taking smaller sips for his drinks after the kiss, to try to keep himself from doing anything stupid, but he doesn’t even know what stupid would involve, at this point. Either everything he’s thinking is stupid, or none of it is.

Mostly, he just wants to talk to Clarke. It feels like she might clear some things up, and that’s a staggering thought, when he’s only known her for a weekend. The whole situation is odd enough he should probably just cut his losses and ignore everyone in Octavia’s friend group. He could spend more time with Murphy. That’s a plausible life choice.

But when Clarke says, “I’ll go get drinks,” he can’t resist.

“I’ll help,” he says, at the same time Lincoln does, because of course he does. There’s no other way that could have played out, in retrospect.

“Great, three of us should be able to pick up enough booze, no problem,” says Clarke, with the kind of aggressive cheer that means she also thinks this is weird, but she’s going to power through. So he is too. Solidarity. “Come on.”

He’s not going to get a better opportunity to try to figure out what’s happening, and the June air is sobering, even if it’s not cool. It’s just always easier to think when you’re not surrounded by a circle of drunk people. Alcohol is absolutely contagious.

“I’m pretty sure they think we just wanted to have a threesome,” he finally settles on. It’s safe, neutral, and true, which means if they laugh it off, he can too.

There’s a pause long enough he’d say he starts to feel awkward, but he’s been feeling awkward for a while. He’s always awkward, honestly.

Finally, Clarke asks, “Were you thinking that?”

It’s a fair question he should have seen coming. He goes with, “Uh, Lincoln’s not really my type.” And then he can’t help adding, “No offense. You seem like a cool guy.” He’s flattered, but–threesome logistics are kind of beyond him, honestly.

Lincoln just smiles. “None taken. This is all you,” he tells Clarke, and then claps her on the shoulder, nods to Bellamy, and takes off in a different direction. Bellamy sort of assumes all roads lead to booze at this point in the night, but he can’t help being a little concerned. Lincoln didn’t even go to school here. Hopefully he doesn’t get lost in his attempt to avoid an awkward conversation

Clarke worries her lip, apparently searching for words. Which makes sense, because she finally blurts out, “We’re not dating. Me and Lincoln. We’re just–roommates. And BFFs.”

The amount of relief he feels is honestly a little pathetic, given, again, he barely knows her. But she seems so cool, and she’s gorgeous, and he hasn’t felt like that about anyone in a while. It wouldn’t have been bad, to have to give up on it, but–he’s so much happier if he doesn’t have to. If they could give this a shot.

“I was already nervous about coming this weekend,” Clarke goes on, the words just pouring out of her now. “And then Lexa got engaged and I honestly wasn’t sure your sister didn’t still hate me and it seemed like a good idea. And then we were going to tell you guys because it’s awkward, but Octavia decided to be nice to Lexa, so–you can tell me to shut up any time.”

His expression recovers, and he feels himself grinning. Monty was apparently right, and Clarke’s single, and he thinks she’s probably into him. His night is suddenly so good. “Oh, no, no way,” he tells her, and she smiles too. “Don’t stop on my account. This is awesome. Keep going.”

“That’s basically it,” she admits. Her expression turns wistful. “I just–I was expecting this to go really badly and that I’d need backup, but then it went really well, and I felt shitty lying to you guys, but–”

“But Lexa was here,” he says. He does get it, sort of. He’s not sure it’s anything he’d ever do, but it was also just a weekend. It makes a lot of sense. “Yeah, I can see that. Telling your friends you were nervous and made your friend pose as your boyfriend for your ex’s benefit is fine, but telling your ex that–”

“Yeah, exactly. Sorry.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m one of the least wronged parties here,” he teases. “You met me yesterday.”

She looks up at him, and the intensity in her gaze makes him swallow. “Yeah, but–you live pretty close to me. I’m hoping I’m going to see more of you.”

It’s the best thing he’s heard all weekend. “Me too.” He glances around; they’re almost alone. “You know your fake boyfriend wandered off, right?”

She blinks and looks around herself. “No, I didn’t notice.”

“And my sister was groaning about how unfair it was that all the hot people are dating each other instead of her.”

Clarke grins. “Lincoln remembered her as my hot college friend, so I think–”

It’s exactly the kind of news that Octavia is going to love, but he’s a lot more concerned with the fact that he and Clarke are alone, and she’s single, and she definitely wants to make out, so he leans in to kiss her again, letting his fingers slide into the hair at the base of her neck, and when she slides her own arms around him, he deepens the kiss like he wanted to earlier, licks into her mouth to find all the small noises of pleasure she’ll make.

She’s the first to pull back, breathless, and he smiles and slides his hands down to her waist. “They’re definitely going to think we’re having a threesome,” he murmurs.

She smiles. “I’m good with that.”

“Even Lexa?”

“She really mellowed out. I feel like she’d be happy for me and my many boyfriends.”

He can’t help laughing, giving her another quick kiss. “Seriously, you should tell O. She’ll think it’s hilarious.”

She looks away, worrying her lip. “I didn’t know she had a thing for me in college. I didn’t even know she was bi.”

“She’s pretty heavily skewed to guys, I think. And I noticed she had a thing for you before she did, with how much she was complaining about Lexa.”

“And when did you notice you had a thing for me?”

“The five minutes before you said you had a boyfriend,” he says. “And the ten minutes since you said you didn’t.” It’s not entirely true, but he figures it’s the kind of polite lie that’s okay. He was doing his best not to notice it in the mean time.

“That’s not much of a thing,” she teases, giving his hand a squeeze. He’s pretty confident she’s taking him somewhere to make out, and he’s so down for that. “Fifteen minutes? Come on.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he agrees. He can’t stop smiling. “But I think it’s got real growth potential.”

And he’s right about that.

#feminist14er

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