#''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

#writeblr #this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol #by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations #and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me #& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what???? #like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it #''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother #and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!'' #yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious #anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it #it's seen as the only important thing #even if ur gay #and it's a nuanced thing idk #and while rn i i.d. as lesbian #like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like . #sexuality is fluid... #don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label #they're like GET in the BOX #if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me. #(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)

[spooksgrove]

— wow, i haven’t seen MILO HOFFMAN in ages!  HE/HIM looks just like BRADLEY COOPER now.  did you hear the rumor:  HE HAS AN OUTSTANDING WARRANT THAT COULD LAND HIM IN JAIL. it’ll probably come to light at the reunion!  

           party boy ,,  class clown  ,,  jock  .  all of these labels were used to describe milo back in high school.  captain of the basketball team,  he was well known and well liked.  other than the occasional drunken fight at a party  ,,  milo didn’t keep many enemies.  he was the kind of guy who never knew a stranger ,,  making a friend out of any soul who crossed paths with him.  fast forward to 2022  ,,  he’s the guy everyone whispers  “what happened to him ? ”  as he walks silently by. 

         everyone was certain he was going to marry his high school sweetheart.  he and ( insert whoever i plot this with here )  were perfect together.  when they grew apart and broke up in college,  everyone in their circle thought love was dead.  it had been his fault:  a perennial flirt with his hs girlfriend in another state,  milo cheated.  stupid, stupid man.  milo took the breakup incredibly hard,  as he was an only child and had no relationship with his parents  ( his dad was a workaholic and his mother was an alcoholic who’d run away years ago )  so she’d basically been his family growing up.  milo never dealt with his issues he’d been bottling up his whole life.  that tipping point sent him into a spiral.  he began drinking heavily,  partying even harder,  dabbled in illegal activities for a while,  dropped out of school.  

         one evening,  he met a girl at a bar.  long story short,  9 months later he became a dad with a one night stand who wanted nothing to do with him.  all custody of his child was revoked and it broke him.  after a couple years of soul-searching,  he cleaned up his act but he was never the same as he used to be.  

            the thing was,  he never got his hs sweetheart out of his mind.  for him,  she was everything.  one day in total romantic fashion,  milo showed up at her doorstep with flowers professing his love and swore he was a better man,  ready for the real thing this time.  within months,  they were married.  it was happy for a few years— they even raised a child together.  milo was determined to treat this kid right,  unlike his first who he had no contact with.  unfortunately,  chasing a love long lost wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.  fights,  distrust,  & problems popped up the longer the relationship dragged on.  inevitably,  they divorced.  now they coparent,  but their personal relationship is strained. 

            milo is bitter  ,,  lonely  ,,  jaded  ,,  harsh  ,,  sarcastic  ,,  and a contrast to the boy his high school friends once knew.  he runs a sports bar and buries himself in work.  there are flickers of gentleness,  romance,  sweetness in him somewhere,  but few experience it now.  even still  ,,  he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to attend shady grove’s reunion.  milo hoffman will always be chasing ghosts  ,,  including his own. 

wanted connections !!   1000% open to other ideas too

obviously his ex-wife/high school sweetheart he coparents with  ( olivia )

former basketball teammates

a fellow jock he was hooking up w/in hs but one of them was closeted  ( henry )

people who frequent his sports bar,  etc  ( jasper ) 

brotps forever.  so many brotps.  bffs from high school  &  a couple besties he’s actually still close with and confides in 

someone he is currently hooking up with, any gender

someone he was hooking up with in high school, any gender

college age roommates ??

someone who was in love with him in hs and he never noticed

reconnected as college age adults and had a fling that went no where  ( juliet )

umm idk anything fun or angsty i love it all

#no bc im so sorry this is so long but im not sorry bc im obsessed w pain #shadyintro #☾ ✰ milo musings 、

[newmusicradionetwork]

PRETTY AWKWARD Deliver Friends With Benefits Song ‘Woozy’

Seattle Alt.Pop band PRETTY AWKWARD sings about Friends With Benefits in their new single “Woozy”, available now.  The groovy, funky track tells a story of the irresistible pull of reconnecting with an ex to fulfill a mutual need when under the influence – even though the relationship can be toxic. The band’s Austin Held says “Lyrically, ‘Woozy’ was inspired by poking fun at the kind of relationships that one can have when they’re a young, misguided adult. When you initially vibe with someone it can seem like innocent young love.  But over time it can evolve into an unhealthy and intoxicating “situationship”. It’s one that our main character can’t help but keep returning to over and over again – because it feels so good in the moment”. The video for ‘Woozy’ was directed by the band’s Nicholas Wiggins and was filmed in various locations around Seattle. Held says “The storyline revolves around the misadventures of a character named Mr. Woozy and is a perfect example of how the darkest nights can lead to the brightest of dawns. We put a lot of time and energy into this and we’re really proud of the way it turned out as it’s the first music video we’ve released that’s completely DIY. We’ve had this idea of following this character (Mr Woozy) through a crazy night out on the town for a while and it’s awesome to finally see the idea brought to life. We want to thank local Seattle residents for allowing us to blast our music through the streets and thanks for clapping, we’re so grateful for your support and stoked that you enjoyed what you saw”.  The band is set to release its first full length album “Get Weird” on September 1st. They are rolling out the releases with tour dates in the Northwest, with a full tour set to launch in early 2024. PRETTY AWKWARD – Tour Dates: Friday, September 1st (Album Release Show) – Madame Lou’s – Seattle, WA About PRETTY AWKWARD: The band’s Austin Held (Lead Vocals, Guitar, Keyboards) and Nicholas Wiggins (Bass, Piano) have been friends since they were young and grew up together in West Seattle.  That long-time chemistry resonates throughout their music and shows their diverse musical tastes. Their sound is a mosaic of cinematic keys, delicate guitars, and clever and catchy lyrics. Being fans of all genres of music, PRETTY AWKWARD have a wide spectrum of influences ranging from Pop to Rock and Hip Hop along with EDM, resulting in familiar sounds to such artists as Twenty One Pilots, OneRepublic and Bastille. The music proves as unpredictable as it does undeniable. “We just sort of make what naturally comes out of us,” says Nicholas. “We never try to sound a certain way or do a certain thing.” Austin agrees, saying “We go all over the spectrum. “There are parts that are Alternative Rock (“Misfits”; “Bored”), but there’s an Anthemic electronic influence, too (“Higher”). You might find some hip-hop vibes in there (“Bad Habit”) and we are definitely Pop at points (“Hang Out”). In the end, PRETTY AWKWARD makes a real connection with fans by simply being themselves. They’ve being playing sold-out shows in the Northwest and throughout the West Coast since their inception.  “I just hope you can relate when you listen to us,” Austin leaves off. “If somebody takes away anything, it’s this level of relatability. You can interpret these songs in so many different ways. That’s a beautiful thing. The message is breathe, relax, and chill. It might sound like a pipe dream, but what else really matters? Life should be fun. We’re here to enjoy ourselves and play music.” Nicholas adds, “We all feel a little awkward sometimes in our lives. There is beauty and growth in those moments. That’s why we are all PRETTY AWKWARD.” Read the full article

[quartings]

Why James Gunn owns my heart (Spoilers for The Suicide Squad)

A lot of people have already pointed out the significance of the bird symbolism in The Suicide Squad, but I wanted to analyze one of the bigger themes of his works that appears in both this and the Guardians of the Galaxy movies- that childhood is the most important thing in the world.

The Suicide Squad makes one thing very clear throughout the film- no matter how many horrible things someone does, the line between good and evil is how much you value the lives of kids, and that the most tragic protagonists are the ones who have had their childhoods taken from them.

Bloodsport, Peacemaker, and Polka Dot Man were all tortured by their parents to gain their powers and skills. Bloodsport, while a shitty dad, also cares enough about his daughter to risk his life to keep her out of prison. And despite having near-identical upbringings, the difference between Peacemaker and Bloodsport is how okay they were with all the children Starro assimilated.

Harley, Flag, and Waller's crew, despite being remorseless killers, all strongly emphasize that they draw the line at killing kids. And while some people have called Harley a hypocrite because she helped kill Robin, this could also tie into another of James Gunn's favorite themes- redemption and how everyone deserves a chance to try and be better (Also Dick Grayson seems to have been a full-grown adult at time of death in BvS)

Ratcatcher 2 is the one who brings everyone together because she's the only one with a parent who loved them, again, even if that parent wasn't a perfect person.

Meanwhile, Luna, Waller, Peacemaker, Thinker, and debatably Starro have absolutely no problem killing kids and are thus, portrayed as the villains regardless of their ideals.

And honestly, that really resonates with me. I could give a 100,000 word essay on all the reasons why, but in my eyes a person who has never done anything criminal but hates kids and treats them awfully is worse than the opposite by a long shot.

Also, while I'm in no place to fully psychoanalyze Gunn, he himself has said that there's nothing more important than having parents who love you, and he seems to love his parents a lot, giving them credit constantly and putting them in Gotg2 as a cameo. His stories about his childhood seem to match Star Lord's journey to a T- both of them had abusive dads who eventually wisened up and atoned for their sins by reconnecting with them. Both Gunn and Quill grew up to become bad people in their 30s because of this abuse until life gave them a chance to give a shit and become better.

BONUS: The Guardians of the Galaxy

Let's also break down the relation to childhood that the Gotg have!

Star Lord, Gamora, Nebula, and Mantis were all kidnapped and abused by killers. And while we don't know Rocket's age during his torture and will probably get in in Gotg3, he was still too young for it regardless.

Original Groot shares a very similar role to Ratcatcher 2 as the only one on their teams already willing to love, and he shows that in Knowhere when he offers a flower to an orphan. And Baby Groot always received love and care from the other guardians in any situation, because they all know how important it is for kids to be cared for.

Yondu was sold by his parents into Kree slavery, and while he became an abuser himself, he eventually learned to become better and "break the chain" of abuse.

Drax however, has always seemed to be a loving dad, and his origin story is all about avenging his dead daughter, and he himself is the only one who talks fondly about their father. Which is why despite being as crude and clueless as he is, he's always the first one to give comfort to Groot, Rocket, and Mantis.

I definitely suspect that we'll get more stuff like this in the Gotg holiday special and Gotg3- probably for Adam Warlock, who was born into a society of eugenicists with a pre-determined destiny.

And to paraphrase what Ratcatcher 1 said- if the lowliest of all creatures deserves love and purpose, everyone does. While race, sex, gender, sexuality, nationality, culture, religion, and class may separate people, everyone in this world has been a child. Everyone knows what it's like to be a kid powerless in the face of parents, keepers, siblings, bullies, teachers, bosses, governments, etc. And I love James Gunn for understanding that pathos more than any other director.

#the suicide squad #suicide squad #james gunn #gotg #the suicide squad spoilers #gotg2 #guardians of the galaxy #q speaks #positivity #bloodsport #ratcatcher 2 #polka dot man #star lord #gamora #harley quinn #drax the destroyer #groot #rocket racoon #nebula #mantis #analysis #yondu

[rosezure]

Todoroki Family - My Opinion

MANGA SPOILERS FOR BNHA/MHA ahead!

CW: parental neglect and abuse, anxiety, therapy, Touya Todoroki/Dabi, Enji Todoroki/Endeavor, spoilers, swearing (please remind me if I forgot anything).

Disclaimer: All of the information on the Todoroki family dynamics is based on my interpretation of what’s been (so far) revealed through the anime and manga. These are all just opinions, you are free to agree or disagree respectfully. I do not wish to invalidate anyone’s opinion. Family dynamics have always been a very sensitive and triggering subject to me, so I hope that you respect that if you wish to discuss this with me.I would like to give my own two cents on the Todoroki family situation. As someone that has dealt with abuse and neglect in a (slightly) similar way my whole life, this story hits very close to home. I will try to be as thorough and objective as possible. But, feel free to call me out (respectfully) if there is anything ambiguous or if problematic. Thank you.

I am going to focus on Touya/Dabi and Enji’s story. I do not know enough to talk about Rei’s role in all of this, so I will not mention her. But, I might update this as new chapters come out.

I will talk about Dabi’s early years by referring to him as Touya since that was his identity at the time. Any comments about him as an adult will be referring to him as Dabi.

I was a psychology student for about two years, and when we learned about child development, here is what I gathered:

When you are a child, all you want is to be loved, to be safe. This is essential to a child, as it is what develops them into a healthy and independent adult. And, this is especially important concerning parents or guardians. Effective parenting practices ensure that the child will have a better chance at developing according to their age and needs. This will grant the kids skills that they will use and perfect as they grow up. In other words, children that are well-taken care of have a higher chance of being strong, healthy, and emotionally developed adults.

When a parent or guardian is ignorant of how they can impact their child’s growth, it has many negative effects. In Touya’s case, Enji Todoroki was clueless. This does not mean Enji should not be held responsible just because he was ignorant. Enji knew he was not being the best parent, but he did not know how exactly. And, at the time he was blinded by his greed and ambition, so he would not have been paying attention to that. Even so, (personally) I do not think parents are afforded the luxury of ignoring their bad parenting if they are made aware of it. They are responsible for another human’s life and growth. They should be held accountable if the child develops issues and hurts themselves or even others.

With that being said, Enji Todoroki was a horrible but clueless parent. From what I have understood from the manga and the anime, at first, he had no idea why Shoto was so "rebellious" (in his opinion). He also seemed to not understand Natsuo and Fuyumi. So I am led to believe that he was, at the time, oblivious to how much he negatively impacted Touya. 

Touya just wanted his father’s affection. If that meant grueling training and preparing to become a hero to defeat All Might, then so be it. It was the attention and affection he knew. He was not led to believe otherwise. Touya's sole positive interactions came from him showing he could fulfill his father’s sick dream. In a child’s mind, that was the only way to secure parental love and approval: To train as hard as possible and become what his father so desperately wished for.

Then his hair started turning white. He started getting injured because of his quirk. His only source of positive attention, his only hope for affection, was killing him. And it had to be stopped. I am sure in Touya’s mind, this meant he would not be loved anymore. 

And then Enji stopped training him. Natsuo was born. Shoto was born. And Touya felt that his source of love was directed to that baby. The baby that Enji saw as a success. Enji made Touya feel like a failure, a broken toy. And he was being replaced by a newer, shinier one: His brother.

When he tries to attack Shoto, he is trying to take back his place. Touya was trying to gain back his father’s love and attention.

Enji wanted to prevent Touya from hurting himself more. But he failed to communicate that. Instead, his words made it seem like his plan was foiled. Touya wasn’t enough, so Enji’s chance of using him to end All Might vanished. Touya wasn’t what Enji needed anymore.

Touya’s world didn’t collapse all at once. It didn’t even crack all at once. From what I understood, it was a collection of hairline fractures that never healed. It was a dislocated shoulder that was never put back in its place and was left to hang. It was a pounding headache that only grew more and more painful over time. 

When Dabi was born, Touya had been buried in bruises, paper cuts, minor broken bones, chronic illnesses. Touya was killed by exhaustion and pain. He didn’t die at one point, he was dying all along. 

As someone who suffers from chronic issues, I know that the somatization of symptoms and other sources of pain can turn a simple illness into something much more serious. Think of it as a butterfly effect, but all inside one person: Every single negative experience, from both outer and inner sources, all summed and turned into one massive festering wound. 

Touya’s mind was a living open wound, it seems.

So Dabi was born. To seal the wound shut. Clean it? No. Protect it? Maybe.

But this particular type of wound (the psychological, emotional one) if left untreated can become infected. And infected wounds are harder and more painful to clean and treat. 

Dabi’s mind is a bandaid over an infected wound. It seems objectively okay, maybe even sane. But he’s clearly in pain. He’s not in his right mind. His decisions all stem from the pure rage and anger of a child that was abandoned. 

What chapter 300 brought was the perspective of a child that just wanted to be loved. That's all he wanted. And the only love he knew was when Enji Todoroki trained with him, no matter how gruesome and painful it must've been.

I'm gonna briefly and superficially compare his situation to mine. Of course, I didn’t suffer half of the pain he did, and I won't go into any detail as to not trigger myself. But, I only got attention when I was either extremely sick or I was needed as a trophy child of some sort. Even then, if I was ill, the attention I got was so I could get well soon and go back to being "useful". I was an extension of them, at best. But I still craved their attention. I still do in a way to this very day. It's not something that just goes away once you realize how toxic and abusive it is.

No matter how much pain I’m in, no matter how love-starved I am, I still want their approval. Inside me, there’s still a scared child, crying out for her parents to love her. That child is now my responsibility. I have to give her love, nurture her so she can grow with me.

Does that make sense?

I have no idea how Dabi is feeling. And I don’t think we’ll ever truly know. He is fictional, after all, and there’s no telling if Horikoshi will be delving into that.

But maybe Touya is still inside Dabi, crying, screaming to be loved. And Dabi is trying his best to tend to that child, but he never truly grew up to know how to take care of another being. Dabi doesn’t know how to take care of himself emotionally. 

I’m learning because I, thankfully, have access to therapy. But it hurts. It hurts to realize the ones that were meant to take care of you, didn’t. It hurts to look into yourself and see a shaking, teary-eyed child begging for crumbs of love.

Now, with the whole "redemption" thing being debated, here's my own personal opinion. You don't have to agree, and I'm not asking you to. Again, this is just how I view it. As a survivor, I'd be relieved to see my parents try. The damage is done, true. I'll never regain my childhood. I'll never have what people with different, better, parents have. The past can't be reversed. And I'm seeing it repeat itself with my little brother. But, if there's a minimal chance that my parents can own up to what they did, that they open themselves up to changing their behavior and learning, then maybe we can build something new.

Build. Not rebuild. The foundation of our past relationship was rotten from the beginning. A new one must be built. A new foundation must be developed if we ever hope to make something of our relationship.

If the Todorokis, really want to reconcile, reconnect, rebuild, then they must start from scratch. If Enji Todoroki wants that, he’s gonna have to start from zero, from nothing. And I'm not entirely sure if Endeavor is doing that, but he is trying, somehow. We don't know for sure if he even has the emotional skills to do so. We can't say for sure that he's got what it takes to man up, own up and learn. But, he seems to be trying.

And that's something I've accepted I'll never have.

So if there's at least a 1% chance that he is truly trying, that Enji wants to redeem himself, then let him. Let their family try and heal together if that's what they want.

I'm not sure about the Japanese culture when it comes to family. But where I come from, a family is an important base of our personal and social development, to the point that reconciliation more often than not is the best route.

Still, I know it's not for everyone. So I respect you if you believe he doesn't deserve a chance. I understand if you say Enji Todoroki should be kept far away from his family. You're right, and you're valid.

But, please, please, if the author decides that he redeems himself and does try his best to start a new relationship with his family, let him. Let them heal. Together. Let them try and make up for the lost time in the best way in the present. Let them rebuild.

I know I'd give anything to rebuild my family.

Let Touya be healed and put Dabi to rest. Touya needs to be loved, he needs to be taken care of like he never was as a child. Dabi needs to be told he tried. He needs to be told he did what he could. 

But Dabi is also an adult now. He’s got legal responsibilities. The pain and devastation he’s caused and helped cause can’t be overlooked. He needs help, but he also had to be held accountable. 

Touya/Dabi needs to face himself and start over. He needs to face the man he’s become and at the same time take care of the child he wasn’t able to be. 

If the Todoroki family is reconciled, I dearly hope he gets to be a part of this new book. Not a new chapter, they need to throw that whole book away and start a new one. And, if possible, I’d love to see someone like me get the ending I won’t be getting. 

I hope this made some sense at least. Again, if anything is unclear, ambiguous, or problematic, let me know and I’ll do my best to correct or remove the bad parts. If you’ve read this far, thank you. If you share a similar experience, I’m sorry, and I’m here for you. 

#bnha #mha #bnha 300 #bnha 301 #bnha spoilers #bnha discussion #touya todoroki #dabi #enji todoroki #shoto todoroki #todoroki family #fuyumi todoroki #natsuo todoroki #rei todoroki #touya #shoto #endeavor #endeavour

[lilacsandwhiskey]

*all pictures belong to owners

Pairing: Drake Walker x Riley Brooks

Author’s Note: Hello my friends! My first fanfic on tumblr, whoop whoop! This story takes place in a AU where Drake and Riley met a year ago, but reconnect in New York. Please submit in my ask box if you’d like to be added to a tag list 😘 This story will be 18+ for language, NSFW, etc. Will write in warnings when!

WARNINGS: Mention of drugs and cancer.

Pixelberry owns characters

——————

Riley’s POV*

I'll say it - I believe in fate.

I believe that things will come to be when they are supposed to be. Whether it's a job, a new home, a relationship, going to college, whatever it may be - it was fate that you were supposed to be in that sector of life, that you are supposed to experience things, that bring you to that moment.

I heard of it with my parents - the high school sweethearts, who broke up right before college, growing up and meeting each other right after. They fell in love, had two kids, and we lived the normal picture perfect life. Except we didn't.

From the outside looking in, life looked beautiful. But, deep down, everyone had their secrets, everyone had their burdens, and that was what life really was. My dad was struggling to pay the bills while my mom was in and out of the hospital, in which we had ended up finding out she had terminal cancer. Cancer took a toll on her body, leaving her almost lifeless and fighting with everything she had. My brother was into drugs, and well, I ended up dropping out of college because I couldn't handle it anymore. I moved back in with my dad for a couple of years, taking care of my mom, until she lost her battle to cancer. We all had our problems.

A year later, my brother made the decision to check into rehab, and moved back in with our dad. My dad encouraged me to continue where I left off, go back to school and finish in New York. I moved to New York but I never brought myself back into college. I moved in with my best friend, Daniel, who I met in college and also dropped out around the same time I did. We ended up working together, following each other in between jobs, and making the most of life as we knew it. That was until six months ago, I made the decision to finally be an adult and be on my own. At twenty-five, I was stuck in between knowing I had plenty of life left and longing for normalcy and steadiness.

I found myself in a small apartment in Brooklyn, not far from where I had just moved. Daniel and I continued to work at our hell-hole of restaurant, bartending and waitressing. But, I had my own responsibilities. I was proud of myself for once - making a move and doing this on my own.

Now I sit here, thinking about how every twist and turn and decision left me here. I often think back to a year ago, when I offered the most ridiculous adventure and opportunity of my life with four foreign men - but I was smart enough to say no. I was sure I was going to get murdered, because let's be honest, who just gets offered that after twenty-four hours of knowing them? I thought about the jobs I had interviewed for that would've changed my life that I never got. I thought about what would have happened if I would have went back to school, where I'd be at. What if I had never gathered myself together and moved out on my own? Would I ever have found independence?

I got up off of my couch, recognizing that it was almost dark and I hadn't eaten a single thing all day. I had woken up early to apply for jobs, thankful for the day off, but hadn't taken a true break all day. I hopped off the couch, tugging my cropped hoodie over my head, grabbed my bag, and walked out the door.

As I locked my door, I recognized that the once vacant apartment next to mine now had boxes outside the door. The door was wide open. I peeped my head right into the door, calling out a small "hello," and didn't receive a reply. Shrugging my shoulders, I headed down the stairs of my complex and walked towards my favorite take-out place.

Tran, the owner of the restaurant, winked as he gave me the discount he and his wife always gave me. "Thank you, Tran." I gave a smile before grabbing packs of soy sauce and walking out the door with enough food to feed a family.

The sky began getting darker as I quickened my pace to the complex. I walked through the door, recognizing someone was attempting to open the door with his foot. He had three boxes stacked up tall. "Here, let me help you with that." I said, grabbing the door and opening it for him. "Can I grab a box from you?" "That's okay, but thank you." I watched as the man struggled to find the first step of the stairwell, moving his foot backwards and frontwards. "Here." I pushed my bag of food up on my shoulder and urged the smaller box off the top of his stack.

I followed the man up the stairs to the third floor, the same floor as me, and recognized that he must be my new neighbor. Walking through the door, there were boxes piled up against the walls, and a single couch placed directly in front of the television. That was the only things that seemed to be unpacked yet. The man set the boxes in a separate pile as I stood behind waiting for him.

"Thank you for that. Those were my last boxes and I was attempting to make that my last trip." His accent was thick and familiar as he turned around to grab the box from me. When my eyes met his face, I instantly knew that I had seen him before. He must have recognized me because his eyes grew a little wider, but another word didn't come out of his mouth as he turned and placed the box on top of the others.

"Don't I know you?"

#trr fanfic #trr fandom #choices trr #the royal romance #drake walker #drake x mc #liam rhys #maxwell beaumont

[prorevenge]

Destroy me as a person, I'll destroy your entire existence.

I'm warning you in advance, this is going to be a long one. TL;DR at the end. Names of people and places have been changed for discretion. I don't expect you to believe it's true, everyone has the right of doubt. The revenge mainly goes towards my thankfully-no-longer-stepmom, but it comes with a side of fuck you to my Dad who at the time was an enabler.

This story is part of the reason I have borderline personality organization. For those who are not familiar with it, it's not a disorder. I can funtion on a much higher level than someone with a personality disorder, however not as highly as someone healthy. I'm putting this beforehand, because you need to understand that I wasn't always like this. The revenge is the result of my personality being slowly and painfully crushed, and getting a last kick out with it's last breath. That last breath of my dying personality wasn't in vain, I'm getting the much needed therapy and help, and I'm making amazing progress. Part of that progress is sharing this. I only shared this story with my therapist until now. Yeah also inb4 "why your real mom didn't help you", she left with another dude when I was just a baby and reconnected with me 2~ years after these events take place, but that's a story for another time.

Background:

You see, my dad is a little bit of a Narcissist (yeah, I know I'm saying at the start of the post that he was also enabling, which is true. He seemed to phase between them depending on situation), but at the same time he is a really intelligent and smart guy, and the combination of these traits was really conflicting. He raised me the "Dad is always right" way, while at the same time he always told me to stand up for myself and never give up. You see, he raised me to be an adult since I was a little child. He taught me everything I know, even the things I needed and used for this revenge.

When I was around 9, we moved to a set of islands in a hispanic country, let's call them Palm Islands. We moved here because my Dad hated our country and wanted to flee. This is important to the story, because he didn't want to move back at all costs. So the island we were staying on at the time is island A. Island A was nice, I quickly learned Spanish and fit in pretty well with the other kids. There were at least 50~ nationalities in our school, so being a foreigner wasn't an issue. My Dad was single, so he was pretty active on dating sites. On these dating sites, he met Lilith (I found this name fitting, look up it's history if you are interested in a demon from the Hebrew mytholgy that kills babies). Lilith was a true Narcissists, in all the aspects you can imagine. She was a teacher, but never had kids of her own even though she wanted. She was from island B. The funny thing is that she catfished my Dad. It was a nice surprise when he went to pick her up to the airport, and was greeted by around 110kg more than he was expecting. Anyways, they got together, and everything seemed fine at the beginning. That's when the big 2008 crisis hit, and it hit really hard in hispanic countries. My Dad was let go at his job and was unemployed. Lilith offered for us to move in with her on island B. My Dad accepted without hesitation, because he didn't want to go back to our country. So this is where the issues start. The first problem was, when we moved to island B, we moved to a really rural and small, xenophobic little shithole of a town. They absolutely hated ANYONE that was not form a latin origin. Well, guess who was the ONLY non-latin foreigner (apart from my dad who didn't move out of the house, as he was unemployed for 2 more years). If you guessed me, you guessed right. It was hell. I didn't even get the chance to fit in. I was bullied all the time. Not just by students, teachers did it and even fucking encouraged it. I was beaten on my way home every week or so by 3 or 4 students, and I remember a time when I was lying on the floor, getting kicked by fuck knows how many kids, when I noticed one of the teachers passing, shrugging, and moving on. There was "go back to your country fucking nationality" graffitied in the town's playground. In the 3 years I lived there, there were several graffity removals, however, this one never got off... As this wasn't bad enough, here comes the fun part. Lilith. Now you are wondering why I named her after a demon that kills babies. Let me answer that for you. If the bullying from school wasn't enough on it's own, Lilith made sure I hated my life. She couldn't stand that my Dad loved me more than her, so she made really fucking sure of it. And why my Dad didn't intervene? Remember I said he didn't want to move back to our country at all costs? The cost of seeing my life destroyed was one he was willing to pay. So he just sat and watched as I suffered. You see, Lilith would always ground me for anything. Lilith would give me really specific instructions for really specific tasks, that were impossible to follow. When I obviously failed, I got grounded. Grounding me meant locking me up in my room with all forms of enjoyment taken a away. All forms of enjoyment for me, meant books. I got my books taken away. All I could do was look on an empty wall and swell in my suffering. Lilith would hold me in constant psychological terror. I was always berated, insluted and talked down on. I heard daily, that my worth is the equivalent to piece of turd, that I am even worth less than that. That nobody loves me and no one ever will. That all that I'm getting is because I deserve it. That I am a waste of space, a piece of human garbage. All the things you can possibly imagine that you don't want a kid to be told. And one last thing to add to the list, starvation. You see, she starved me, even though it wasn't starving in that little piece of garbage that she calls brain. I can't eat crude tomatoes. Not I don't like it and I don't want to eat it, I literally can't. As soon as I feel crude tomato flavor in my mouth, I start to puke. I can't control it. She decided that she will cure this by only feeding me tomatoes for 3 days. Guess how that worked out.. And my Dad? Just looked the other way. I was 14 at the time, and I tried to kill myself 3 times. If any would have been successful, I wouldn't be here telling the story, so hold on to your seats.

This seemingly endless nightmare got a bit better when my Dad got a job at island A and we could move back on our own. But I wasn't the same anymore. I was having serious depression, anxiety, panic attacks. I started smoking and drinking. I couldn't fit in again. I knew that if I wanted to get my life together, I would need to move back to my home country. But you see, being underage, I couldn't do it and my Dad didn't want to move back. Even though we moved back to island A, we still was relying pretty heavily on Lilith financially, so I knew if they broke up, we wouldn't have other choice than to move back.

Just a quick recap about Lilith: a sour lady in her late 40's who is morbidly obese while being really short, around 150~cm, is a teacher but never had kids of her own even though she wanted, was unhappy with her life in general, and being the true Narcissists she is, she blamed everything on the world. She hadn't dumped my dad because she is well aware of her physical traits and knew that if they broke up, she would most likely end up alone. This is where I wanted to hit.

So as I knew some psychology, knowing her personality traits, I somehow suspected that she will try to compensate for the above mentioned with cheating. But cheating is hard when you are a fat and ugly motherfucker, so my next guess were sex-chats. Boy, was I right. I simply installed a keylogger on her computer, and after 2 weeks I had a plethora of sex-chat logs to show my Dad. However, this didn't go as I expected. Instead of breaking up, my Dad got in a position of power after confronting Lilith about it. This was a serious miscalculation on my part, as I should have expected that my Dad won't break up because he doesn't want to move back, but rather use this in his 'games'.

I knew I had to go all out on this one if I wanted to break them up. So I hatched my master plan.

But I wasn't just going to make them brake up. Even after all the things that the place and her have done to me, I had a little fight in me yet, which at the start I referred to as the last breath of my dying personality.

I was out for destroying Lilith's entire life in the process and make my Dad do what he didn't want to while seeing me suffer.

The setup:

Remember when I said my Dad was active on dating sites? Well, he was really active again once we got back to island A. He was relentlessly cheating on Lilith.

First things first, I bought an extra SIM card for my phone. I needed a new phone number for a new WhatsApp account. You see, I knew that if my Dad deemed a lady from a dating site worthy of a fuck, he would ask for a phone number so they don't lose contact. As I couldn't imitate a woman's voice, I opted for leading him on over WhatsApp. Next I set up a dating profile on one of the sites I knew my dad was actively searching on, and I made his idea of a perfect woman, in every aspect, come to life. I spent days fabricating every aspect of her personality and life. This character was named Paula. Paula was a tall, blonde, thin, beautiful, intelligent and nice lady, who worked on island B as a make-up artist for the local news. She grew up in a family with 4 brothers (which I added because I wanted to have a quick and easy excuse if my Dad noticed any male-ish mannerism while speaking to him as her), loved sports, philosophy, and psychology (remember when I said my Dad taught me everything I needed for this revenge?) The pics I used for Paula were from a mostly unknown 30-ish South American actress from a really bad and unknown latin soap-opera (I don't know if it's the correct term in English as well). So I had really nice make-up photos worthy of a local news make-up artist, while having more normal and everyday pics as well. The little twist is Paula is the EXACT OPPOSITE of Lilith in every possible way. It was perfect. One more important thing to note is that my Dad was hooked on a sport that we'll call Squannis. It's a mixture between Squash and Tennis, hence the name, really popular in latin countries at the time. There were familiar Squannis tournaments with Lilith's family, who were really involved in Squannis as well. Also I hope I don't have to explain how extensive a hispanic family is. Important to note that we were the only foreigners in the family. With this information at hand and my WhatsApp and dating profile setup as well, I was more than ready to unleash hell upon those who wronged me.

The execution:

I started surfing the dating site. As with dating sites in general, you can't search for a person in specific, so I had to go over 200~ish profiles to finally find my Dad and mark that I'm interested in him. That same night, we get matched, and we start chatting. He is loving Paula. Every single bit of her. While chatting, I steer the conversation to make him say things like "even if I had someone I would break up with her in an instant to be with a Goddess like you", "you are my perfect ideal in every way", "where have you been all my life", these sorts of things. The sorts of things I know would get through Lilith's narcissistic wall of protection, and hit her in the very core. My dad was making comments on how she just met the perfect woman in a dating site. He spent basically an hour worshipping why she is perfect for him in every way. Guys, it was the hardest thing to not grin like I just hit the fucking jackpot. He was hooked, like a heroin addict. Next day, all day speaking about Paula. Then comes the third day. He asks for a mobile number, he wants to hear Paula's surely angelic voice. I was prepared. The conversation went something like this:

Dad: I'm having a really nice time talking with you, and I'm really afraid that you might just dissapear - as happened with others - so what if we exchange numbers?

Paula: I'm having a really nice time as well with you, but sadly I've been catfished a lot, and I'm really cautious when it comes to strangers on the internet...:( But anyways, as I'm really liking you, I'll make a kind of exception. Give me your phone number, we'll communicate on WhatsApp, so we don't lose contact, but promise me that you will not call me until I say that I'm feeling ready!

Dad: I can totally understand that, and I respect it. So let's do it your way. :)

When I pressed enter on the catfish message to send, I felt like I was pressing the button that dropped the nuke on Hiroshima. I was feeling the justice enter my pleasure receptors slowly, bit by bit. It was the best thing I had felt every since Lilith entered my life.

This goes on in WhatsApp, I'm taking a screenshot of everything that I think will hurt Lilith. After a week of talking I have everything that I want to send her. But I needed to make it believable, otherwise it will be an obvious catfishing, and I'm sure my Dad eventually would have traced it back to me. However, I had a plan for this as well. Remember when I said my Dad plays Squannis and Paula loves sports but lives in island B, where Lilith and faimily are located? You better do, because this is where it becomes important. Naturally, as any girl who is interested in a guy, will try out his interests. In this case Squannis. So Paula, after my Dad told him about Squannis, decided to get a lesson from a friend of hers, so when she meets with my Dad, they'll be able to play together. But would you know, on a little fucking hispanic island with extended family all over it, this friend happened to be related to Lilith's family. And would you know, Paula was telling him about this new guy she met on a dating site, who is from XX country and that's why she's taking lessons. After more chit-chat, the friend realizes that this guys is indeed my Dad, and proceeds to tell Paula that he has been in a relationship with Lilith for a few years now. So Paula confronts my Dad about this, who is in complete shock and panic mode. My absolute favourite thing was telling him the lines "I KNEW I COULDN'T TRUST PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET, YOU ARE THE SAME CHEATING PIG AS ALL OTHER MEN". After getting the last kicks in I blocked my Dad from every possible way of communication on all of Paula's accounts.

But here comes the sweet part. Lilith. My dear, dear Lilith. I tell her the same story about Squannis that I told my dad, then proceed to send her every screenshot, every piece of conversation that I knew would hurt her. Every sentence where my Dad describes the perfect ideal of a woman, and it's exactly the opposite of her. Every message where my Dad says things to Paula that Lilith always wanted to hear but never got. Sweet fucking Jesus, it felt good.

The aftermath:

After being in a position of power, and being the saint that never cheated in the relationship, my Dad got confronted by Lilith. By confronted I mean traveling to us on island A, knocking hysterically on the door at 2am, while I can't make out anything of what she says because of the fucking tsunami machine that her face has become. Oh, and the screeching. It was like a group of younglings racing on who could scratch the blackboard harder to make to most unpleasant sound. I'm loving every tear, and every moment of it. She is truly suffering. I destroyed the very pillars that held up her personality. I went into a porcelain shop with a fucking sledgehammer. They break up. Lilith is throwing punches. Police is called. In a fit of rage Lilith makes the mistake of hitting one of the officers. I've never seen 180~kg slammed into the ground with such grace. It was truly glorious. As police is escorting her out, I'm looking her dead in the eye. I can see into her soul, and I can see that the person she was is destroyed. As I'm looking her dead in the eye, I'm having the most shit eating grin a human can possibly enforce on it's face. Ultimately, we moved back to our home country.

Oh, and guess who has lost her teaching licence? If you guessed, Lilith, you guessed right. Turns out after this incident she had to go under a really strict psychological examination, which was a long time coming imo, where they determined she is unfit for teaching. Big fucking surprise.

TL;DR: Dad moves away from country and dates maniac, lets maniac viciously abuse son so Dad doesn't have to move back. Son reveals Dad is cheating, crushing Maniacs soul and indirectly causes Maniac to lose job and livelihood, and forces Dad to move back.

(source) (story by shiny-poopstorm)

#prorevenge #by shiny-poopstorm #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #revenge story #last10

[obfuscobble]

SO I got my hands on the Japan Animator Expo 2015 collection and I thought it a good time to rate each short because I have some very concise opinions.

1. Dragon Dentist 4/5 Girl volunteers to be a dragon's dentist in the midst of a war. Inventive, compelling, beautiful.  Works incredibly well as a short, managing to tell a story far longer than its timeframe without leaving us wondering what happened or what will happen.  A very strong start to the collection.

2. Hill Climb Girl 3/5 Girl wants to be a great bicyclist, and the first step is beating her friend up the hill to school. Pretty good for cel-shaded computer modelling.  If you like Yowamushi Pedal, you'll like this.  Not stand-out but it's an endearing.

3. ME!ME!ME! 4/5 Boy gets dunked on by his own objectification of women. A truly stand out music video not just for this collection but within the genre.  That said, you do have to rewatch it closely to glean its themes and true place as a condemnation of misogyny as seen through the self empowerment male fantasies used by the boy to combat his own misogynistic fear of female desire and deep shame over his otaku life.  And there is quite a lot of female objectification in his life.

4. Carnage 3/5 Gunslinging girl seeks revenge for her family and her arm. Great attention paid to the one armed gunslinging.  The conclusion openly and somberly lays out what will happen next as this old town must pay for its sins, even if it perpetuates the cycle of girls losing those they love.

5. Gundam key animation 1/5 Literally the key animation drawings from Gundam shown side to side with the classic footage. Pretty cool for animation nerds and gundam fans but otherwise not really compelling as a storytelling vehicle.  I have to take off points on that account, but it is really worth a watch to see the keys.

6. 20 min from Nishi Ogikubo Station 0/5 not actually 20 min long. Just kidding! 4/5 woman turns into a cockroach, much to man's dismay. The sketchy art style, soft colouring, and jittery movement add perfectly to the piece's theme, making them obviously intentional choices.  The piece is still fluidly put together, with inventive plays on human/cockroach interaction and the how's of being so small.  The woman as cockroach is envisioned naked, but I feel that this is presented in a naturalistic (ie she just shrunk out of her clothes) and not at all prurient way.  Didn't think I was going to like it as much as I did!

7. until You come to me 1/5 Oh Shinji boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling. Shinji silently misses Kaworu or five minutes. I mean I don't blame him but... Nothing happens, and if one has no inkling about Evangelion, this short has absolutely NO meaning.

8. Tomorrow from There 3/5 Woman avoids responsibilities, calls from her mom, and the creeping sense of adult dread, until she reconnects with her inner sense of joy. A wonderful counterpoint to ME!ME!ME! that focuses on universal human fears and dilemmas, without objectifying women.  Uplifting with a powerul backing song.  But I have to be honest and say that its visuals aren't going to stick with me as powerfully.

9. Electronic Superhuman Gridman 3/5 You are a human with the capacity for joy and wonder, so you will appreciate this heartfelt ode to super sentai live action and robot anime. Comes complete with character design details to reflect the rubber suits and even the tiny screw to hold on the back of a model's head.  Has nice internal logic about the Gridman.exe who fights monsters with the power of the electrical grid, such as circuit power ups and smashing a tv screen to get at the enemy.  Even for those unfamiliar with the tropes, it's just a fun 6 minutes.

10. Yamadeloid 3/5 An ode to historical fighter anime with neat brush-line visuals and fitting soundtrack. But it just didn't grab me by my heart's cockles like Gridman did, probably coming entirely down to what shows I grew up on.  It was also a lot more fourth wall breaking, which is entirely subjective for one's enjoyment, even from one short to another as you'll see.  So I'd like to give it a 2, but I know that nostalgia was the only thing inflating Gridman to a 3, so I'll be fair.

11. Power Plant No 33 2/5 What if we just... turned off our millenial facebook phones... and really lived.... yanno? The instantly gripping visuals of a society powered by a beast that creates electricity, which must then go on to fight a space robot, are immediately undermined by the totes not subtle digs against modern technology.  I get it, technology is literally a destructive beast.  I get it, we should unplug and learn to live freely.  The animation was great but the moral was giving me the feeling that I should get off a luddite's lawn.

12. Evangelion Another Impact Confidential 2/5 Tall woman looks for her daughter, finds hostile wasteland. But what a woman!

13. Kanón 3/5 A Japanese take on a Slavic philosophic parody of Jewish folk mythology, or, "On Solipsism." Actually fascinating as a piece.  It moves very very quickly though, leaving little time for the jokes and philosophy to set in, but I feel the frantic pace was meant to reinforce the confused, overworked, utterly helpless feelings that the main character was experiencing.  The fourth wall break right at the end completely charmed me and even elevated the piece.  Loses points for the inherent misogyny of the novel it was based on, but otherwise worth a watch for the curious, and one of the most interesting Japanese takes on Judaeo-Christian tradition I've seen.

14. Sex & Violence with Machspeed 0/5 Just because you admit that you're being gross for gross' sake doesn't mean you're not gross. Look I could get into it, but I just hated this one.  If you liked Panty and Stocking, maybe give it a try.

15. Obake-chan 3/5 A series of charming shorts about a girl who wants to be a spoopy ghost.

16. Tokio of the Moon's Shadow 4/5 Boy who has, I goddamn assure you, THE. SHINIEST. eyes in the universe saves earth and his radio penpal from a space creature. Come for the innovative mix of animation styles, stay for the dance sequence.  Just watch it.

17. Three Fallen Witnesses 2/5 Ambition: the Anime. Like seriously, this is the 3d animation equivalent of the Ambition games.  It's also a very ambitious premise, based on prosecuting attorneys using "DNA time travel" to gain evidence on a murder case.  Alas, I really feel it should have had longer to play in its world and the case itself.

18. The Diary of Ochibi 3/5 Edible stop motion is here!

19. I Can Friday by Day! 5/5 Tiny space squirrels fight tiny space rabbits, each piloting robot teenagers. Highly creative, wondrously fun, and yet with a good plot and even characterisation to hold it together past the visuals.  I'd love to see this as a short series, as I feel the premise, world, and character sketches could easily be filled out into a humourous and yet compelling larger narrative.

20a. ME!ME!ME! Chronic 1/5 Basically a remix.  Lacking the narrative of the original hurts it because then its just boobs and yonic symbolism and the guns that shoot them.  Still good music.

20b. The Making of Evangelion Another Impact Confidential 1/5 Interesting if you want to see how the short was designed and technically compiled.

21. Iconic Field 2/5 Never try to fit 13 episodes into 6 minutes. This is obviously angling to become a longer syndicated series but not only did they rush too many of their ideas and subplots into it, but they obviously ran out of money and production time.  Some shots are replaced with concept sketches, and there was no voice acting when clearly it was intended to be present.  It's creative in its character and mecha design, but the plot is another riff on the seeded earth hypothesis whose unanimated conclusion you can still see a mile away.

22. On a Gloomy Night Nippon Banzai! Nippon Banzai! Nippon Banzai! Nippon Banzai! Nippon Banzai! Nippon Banzai! Nippon Banzai! Nippon Banzai! Nippon Banzai! 1/5 Never try to fit 13 episodes into 6 minutes using Auld Lang Syne as your backing track.

23. Memoirs of Amorous Gentlemen 1/5 Honestly not sure how to classify this one.  It's about a sex worker, it's presented with a quite effective animation style, but in the end it's all about the sex worker accepting abuse from another as her tragic role in the world. Ehn.

24. Rapid Rouge 4/5 In the world of the techno-daimyo, there is only loss. BRILLIANT use of a limited colour palette.  Loses one point due to not fully delivering on the emotional character-sacrifice punch it wanted and for being unartfully open ended.  If it delivers on a second episode like it promises, I might amend my opinion.  It was so close to being perfect, yet didn't manage to get me to care enough about its characters in its short run time, unlike...

25. Hammerhead 5/5 Highly violent, yes, but emotionally impactful to the extreme; I cried both times I've watched it. Update: three times. Wonderful traditional animation, powerful emotional centre, and perhaps the best animation I've ever seen to portray a human's physical demeanour in deep emotional distress.  I absolutely recommend watching this.

26. Conte Hitman 3/5 Manzai routine with clever twists and turns.  Porque no los dos, the sketch.

[southboundhqarchive]

MEET ADELINE,

FULL NAME › Adeline Ziyi Mercier AGE › twenty nine GENDER › Cis woman (She/Her/Hers) FROM › Guangzhou, China RESIDENCE › Desert Willow Apartment Complex (Downtown) OCCUPATION › Owner of the Olive Branch Bar NOW PLAYING › The Show by Lenka

BIOGRAPHY,

trigger warnings: implied racism, internalized racism, bullying, death

i. the first thing anyone will tell you about ethan and therese mercier is that they are good christians. church every sunday, bible study, scriptures framed on their wall christians. they can’t conceive a child of their own, but their sorrow gives way to purpose: this is all part of god’s plan. they are meant to give an unfortunate child a better life. a few trips to china and some paperwork filed later, the merciers bring a beautiful baby girl out of the orphanage and christen her adeline. it’s the american dream!

on their search for the perfect place to raise a child, they settle on the picturesque town of boot hill, arizona. it’s safe, secluded, and the desert has some charm, and when adeline turns two, they move into a one-story house with a garden. adeline is given dresses and books and toys; she is showered in love; she wants for nothing, and should want for nothing. they raise her as an all-american girl without much thought to her chinese heritage—well, there’s a chinese restaurant just a short drive away—but they do not know that will cause her to lose pieces of herself.

it is in elementary school when someone first asks her why don’t you look like your mom? it’s easy to stick out in town when you’re one of the only asian kids, and her crueler classmates mock the shape of her eyes and call her names. they never let her forget she’s different, that she doesn’t belong, and when she comes home crying, her mother soothes her and tells her to ignore them. be stronger than them. be the bigger person. it’s easy to say that when you’re used to being the majority, but every time adeline looks in the mirror, she is reminded she is not. if she wishes hard enough, will her eyes turn blue and her hair turn blonde?

but there are no fairy godmothers in boot hill. there is only a lonely girl, the fractures of her identity, and the desire for acceptance.

ii. if she will fit in with no one, then she will fit in with everyone. in high school, she flits between groups with ease, earning trust with a guileless smile and a warm demeanor. she’s a cheerleader, a pianist, student council vice president, and everyone loves her—or if they don’t, they pretend to. elementary school taunts become snide remarks in the bathroom. she acts like she’s better than us, who does she think she is? teenagers ( and adults! ) are particularly venomous when fed with the prejudices of their small world. you’re so exotic. how much do you cost? go back home. you don’t belong here. but adeline holds her head high because that is she what she’s been taught, plays the role everyone from her parents to her friends to her teachers want her to. she is so honest, so compassionate, you can’t help but tell her everything. soon, she is carrying not only the secrets of heart but the secrets of her peers too, and it is more than she ever wanted to hold. ( this is what she has learned about people: they want to be listened to. they want to be heard. but who is listening to her? )

the dissonance of the two halves of her identity, american and chinese, never quite goes away, but she shoves it down in favor of hanging out with friends at cheri’s dairy and going on dates at the drive-in. still, try as she might, she can’t ignore her curiosity. the older she gets, the more questions she has, and the desire to reconnect with the country she only knows as her birthplace grows with each year. they’ve already been to the jade flower, which adeline chooses every year for her birthday, though surely there’s more to being chinese than chow mein and general tso’s chicken. but there are no chinese schools in boot hill, no chinese new year celebrations like in san francisco, and her parents are terribly vague about answering questions about where she came from. they think she shouldn’t wonder too much, that she should be happy with what she has in the united states, with them. you’re much better off here, adeline.

iii. boot hill girls don’t go to college and they certainly don’t go to ivy leagues, but adeline mercier has always something of an anomaly. being valedictorian of her high school class, on the student council, and an avid volunteer with a sympathetic story of searching for herself in a sea of faces that don’t look like her gets her a spot at columbia. her parents couldn’t be prouder; this is what they brought her to this country for.

college is the first time in her life she’s seen so many other asians, and it feels like a piece has finally clicked into place but just not quite. the edge slips with the truth: she can’t relate. she doesn’t have them same upbringing as those who grew up in asian families and communities, doesn’t share the same inside jokes or the same struggles. this disconnect leads her to seek out other adoptees in new york, and with them, she finally can name the isolation deep in her bones, that feeling of being in two worlds yet feeling at home in neither. she can finally admit that while her parents tried, they didn’t try hard enough. during her time at columbia, she tries to look for her biological mother the merciers gave her no clues for, but her search turns up next to nothing. she tries not to be too disappointed; it’s just another gaping hole in her heart she can’t fill, just another series of unanswered questions. what’s new?

unused to the academic rigor of her classes, she nearly fails her first year. though she’s always been an intelligent girl—all a’s, model student, overachiever—, high school in boot hill was nothing compared to columbia. with the help of tutors and too many late nights, she manages to bring her grades back up, but it’s a constant uphill battle. frankly, boot hill didn’t prepare her for anything in new york—not the traffic, the subway, not the people. it’s a cliche, a small town girl moving to a big city and feeling completely lost, but god, it’s true. in boot hill, she was a shining star. at columbia, she’s simply another glimmer in a galaxy.

it’s comforting to be lost in the crowd, though, to no longer stick out because she’s different. here, in new york, she can be anyone. in new york, she blends right in. new york is terrifying but exhilarating, and she never wants to leave.

iv. life has a way of forcing your hand to play the cards you don’t want to be dealt. she’d been planning to stay in new york after graduation, but a whirlwind of events sends her back to boot hill, beginning with a positive pregnancy test and ends with death knocking at her door. when her boyfriend of two years learns she’s pregnant, he says everything will be okay, we’ll make it work, we can do anything as long as we’re together.

it’s a touching sentiment, but wishes don’t come true no matter how many stars you wish on and lovers can’t come home when they’re left bleeding in an alley. she finds out later that there was nothing that could be done and she’s left with too many questions and too little answers. rather than stay alone in city that’s growing far too cold for a young woman who grew up under the arizona sun, she returns to that small town off route 66. there, she will be safe. there, she will not worry. there, the jaws of the world will not snap her or her baby in two.

( and for all her parents’ faults, they will always be there to welcome her home. )

v. there are rumors, as there always are, whispers flying around about who the father is, what she’s running from. pretty, polished, tarnished. her mother’s friends sigh about her wasted potential ( what a poor girl! ) like being a single mother has cracked her porcelain facade. not so perfect anymore, quip snide high school acquaintances, the ones who thought she acted as if she was too good for them. how satisfying is it to see not even adeline mercier can escape boot hill? she should’ve known those who try to leave never really can.

but a month passes, and another month, and the rumor mill moves on. with the influx of newcomers coming into boot hill, there’s enough to gossip enough to keep the town sustained that it becomes like she never left ( which is to say, she still feels slightly out of place, like a puzzle piece that doesn’t quite fit ). she easily falls into a routine: she gets a job as a waitress at the schoolhouse cafe, her parents take care of raphael while she’s at work, and she saves up all her money so she can, at least, make something out of herself here.

with the knowledge gained from university and an investment from her parents, she opens the olive branch bar as a homage to her favorite haunts in nyc the summer she turns 26. it pales in comparison to the low-lit lounges of the city she could have called home, but boot hill locals don’t know that. all they see is something new, a change of pace from the bucking horse or coyote’s howl. she’s not looking to replace them—everyone knows you can’t—but simply filling a niche that hasn’t been realized until now. business is slow at first, then suddenly, it skyrockets, both newcomers and locals looking for a taste of sophistication pulled in by the wine list, handcrafted cocktails, and jazzy ambiance.

yet it is a difficult thing to be a bird whose wings have soared only to have them clipped again. when once she might have thought she would’ve worked in skyscrapers and changed even a fraction of the world, her ambitions have been cut in half by circumstance. she’s as successful as one can be in this town with a thriving bar and a wonderful, growing boy, but oh, how she yearns for the world she had a glimpse of.

it’s a shame she’ll never see it again.

❝ if she spoke, she would tell him the truth: she was not okay at all, but horribly empty, now that she knew what it was like to be filled. ❞

CENSUS,

FACECLAIM › Gemma Chan AUTHOR › Izzie

#gemma chan #rp #rpg #oc rp #town rp #{ all. } #{ local. } #{ over twenty. } #{ izzie. } #{ f. } #racism implied tw #internalized racism tw #death tw #bullying tw

[we-pay-for-everything]

Five favorite HP characters? Five least favorite? Yur top five HP Otps, five HP notps, and five favorite HP brotps? And five unpopular opinions about the series? Have fun!

Things sounds fun! And hard :P

Favorite HP characters:

1. Sirius Black: I love this dude for many reasons. I think the major one is his love for Harry. He was just Harry’s godfather, knew him for a year, yet his sense of loyalty and responsibility (yes, he is capable of that) made him escape Azkaban for Harry’s safety. Sirius loved Harry with all his heart. I also love how wildly dysfunctional, or bitter, or angry he can be. He’s still a good person, who grew up and realized his mistakes, but he’s one of the most realistic characters. Plus, he’s fun too, and charismatic and compelling.

2. Remus Lupin: Remus is just a patient, kind, intelligent person that faces life’s challenges with grace and dignity. He’s forgiving and capable of smiling and being decent even in the darkest of times. The backslash from that is that he’s often too forgiving (for example, of Snape) and doesn’t stand up for himself. But his self-loathing make him relatable. He also walked away from Harry and his previous life (Sirius, for example) without once glancing back, apparently, which is perhaps his worst, and very human, flaw. 

3. Nymphadora Tonks: this girl is my newest addition to my fictional girl squad. (Don’t ask me how that happened.) Tonks is bright, young, energetic, fun, badass. She’s Moody’s favorite and that guy doesn’t like people easily. She’s a young Auror and McGonagall said they hadn’t recruited a new Auror in years! Tonks’s favorite hair color is bubblegum pink! Who doesn’t love a girl who likes her hair pink? And who’s clumsy and adorably excited to be married and to have a baby? Tonks would’ve been a great wife and mother had she lived and her death is the worst one, because she was so young and had Teddy. 

4. Dobby: he’s just the sweetest okay? He loves Harry, proves that elves can be independent and make their own choices even if limited by their magic. He was a hero who was kind to wizards and fellows elves. Ps: Have a Harry Christmas!

5. Harry Potter: he’s my fictional son. I love Harry so much. In terms of characters, I’d rate him higher than Dobby, except that Dobby never annoys me. Harry is brave, smart, loyal, strong, kind, witty, a tad angry and ruthless. I relate a lot to him sometimes, especially in the Order of the Phoenix. I can’t understand his blinding loyalty to Dumbledore (which can be said of all the characters), nor can I understand him in the Half-Blood Prince. And let’s not discuss how he named his children… Still, Harry’s a wonderful person, a great main character. 

Least Favorite HP characters:

1. Albus Dumbledore: I know he’s not as evil or manipulative as people might think. And it’s easy to blame him for most things considering his many responsibilities in the wizarding world. Dumbledore often had the best intentions, was forgiving and compassionate, but it doesn’t mean he wasn’t a terrible headmaster who endangered his students, often for no good reason. He put his interest in defeating Voldemort (a worthy cause) above his duties as headmaster. He abused the power he had many times. He should’ve many a decision between dedicating his life to defeating Voldemort or to being a responsible headmaster. I find it hard to forgive people that fail children and teenagers like that. Also, the blind loyalty people bestowed him is perhaps the worst thing about HP to me.

2. Severus Snape: while his arc from late OotP to DH is compelling, his character is severely overrated. Snape is the classic children’s “villain” throughout most of the books. His attitude is tiring and monotonous. I fail to see the good writing of his character for the most part. We’re told over and over again, via Harry, that hating Snape is wrong, because he’s “good”. I find this immensely disturbing and upsetting. Harry should’ve been allowed to hate Snape, always. None of his sob story erases the fact that he was abusive to children and unfit to be in a position of power. I will never respect a person who hates and hurts children. Period.

3. Voldemort: I think he’s a boring and ineffective villain. Rowling’s strengths as a writer never rested on the bad guys.The writing for Voldemort was always weak, and the message “power is wrong” is unoriginal and overly simplistic. While some of this backstory may have been interesting (his family’s history was compelling), Voldemort’s evilness resides in him having never been loved, which is the story of every villain ever, and not something to base half a book on. 

4. Bellatrix Lestrange: for someone who kills most of my favorite characters, she isn’t anything to write home about. Bellatrix isn’t a rich villain character and she is very hard to root for. She’s pure evil, unlike her sister Narcisa whose love for her son make her interesting and sympathetic. Bellatrix seems to care a bit about her sister, and Voldemort, but she kills two family members, and doesn’t seem to care at all about her husband. What are her motivations? How did she come to worship Voldemort? She’s also not the wittiest character. 

5. Molly Weasley: could’ve chosen other characters, but Molly is an important one that I don’t love. She’s amazing in the beginning. Until book 4, she’s warm, loving and kind, particularly to her son’s best friend. However, it becomes clear with time that she favors some her children, like Percy or Ginny, over others, like Ron or the twins. She also sometimes cares more about Harry than her own family. She listens to Daily Prophet rubbish and snubs Hermione even if she knew (from a previous article about Arthur) how much Rita Skeeter lies. She didn’t even write to Harry at all, despite her apparent concern. This would’ve been fine (she’s only Ron’s mom after all) if she didn’t like to consider herself Harry’s mom (she even attacks Sirius over this). If she’s Harry’s “mom”, she isn’t a good one. She doesn’t treat him like her other children and she doesn’t ever talk to Harry and show that she’s there for him, emotionally. Feeding someone isn’t enough. Molly also yells all the time, and is very unsupportive and impatient with her less than “perfect” children. She shows them no respect too, like in the DH when she’s trying to keep the Trio from communicating… 

OTPs:

1. Sirius/James: I’ve fallen in love with these two. I don’t necessarily ship them within the books, but Sirius and James were perfect together. They knew the other best and respected and loved each other until their very last breath. If Sirius was ever in love with anyone, it was obviously James. 

2. Remus/Tonks: Tonks is fiery, young and more carefree. Remus is the opposite. They balance each other. And have a cute baby together… 

3. Fleur/Bill: No one took Fleur seriously, but she loved Bill wholeheartedly. She tried to befriend his family, had the wedding in their house, and didn’t even think twice after Bill was mauled by Greyback.

4. James/Lily: Not an OTP but I’ve run out of HP OTPs. James adorably doodled Lily’s name in his exames, and was in love with her for a long time. They seemed to be the definition of domestic bliss, which is nice. 

5. Arthur/Molly: their dynamic was unbalanced, but their love was genuine. 

NOTPs:

1. Minor character/Adult character: Be it Sirius/Harry (gag) or Snape/Harry (gag) or any other pairing like that, I’m disgusted. I honestly don’t even care if it’s one of those time travel fics, whenever I see any HP student (in the 7 books) paired with an adult, I throw up a little. 

2. Harry/Tom Riddle Jr: like, what??? I can’t even… 

3. Draco/Hermione: honestly, what’s with the Draco obsession? He really isn’t that interesting. Draco and Hermione dislike each other, and that’s it. 

4. Draco/Harry: I guess this pairing makes a tad more sense but I still don’t get it. Sometimes, I dislike you means just that. 

5. Sirius/Remus: I’ve read a lot of fanfiction on them, but, in reality, they’re not that great. We’re talking about two characters that turned on each other, and barely seemed to reconnect post-Azkaban. It’s not like Remus was of any help to Sirius in OotP. His input was exclusively to tell Sirius to shut up or stay put. And who lets a loved one go to jail without a trial or some kind of confrontation? 

BROTPs:

1. Sirius/James: duh. They had the best friendship. They finished each other’s sentences, pretty much, were best friends until they died, were almost always together, and trusted each other absolutely. Even if you combine Harry/Ron with Harry/Hermione’s friendships, James and Sirius were better friends. 

2. The Weasley Twins: the strictly platonic version of James and Sirius. They had an amazing dynamic. Still makes me sad to think of George without Fred. People couldn’t even tell them apart!

3. Hermione/Harry/Ron: the trio was pretty flawless when it came to unconditional support and love. 

4. Harry/Luna: there was something really sweet and reassuring about their friendship, especially after Sirius died. 

5. Padfoot/Crookshanks: when you nearly burn yourself trying to get your face up close to someone’s face who is in a fireplace, that’s real love. 

Unpopular Opinions:

1. Order of the Phoenix is the best HP book. It has great, realistic characterization, a great villain (Umbridge), badass activist organizations (Order and D.A), great new characters, suspense, action and drama. 

2. Half-Blood Prince is very overrated. The whole book is mostly a set up for the next book, while ignoring the previous book and containing terrible teen romance.

3. Hermione’s a hypocrite. Frequently breaks the rules when it suits her (like when she unleashed a flock of birds on Ron), tries to force house-elves to be free, despite their loud objections, while claiming to respect them, etc. 

4. Molly Weasley is not a great mother. As I said before, she plays favorites, overcoddles her children, neglects their emotional well-being, etc. 

5. The books are often political and preachy and best be read by people who are capable of critical thinking (and often not children). I would personally not let my children read past the first 3 books. I find myself disagreeing with a lot of HP’s morality lessons and think children lack the ability to see J.K. Rowling’s flaws and the flaws in some of her characters, like Dumbledore or Snape who are romanticized in the end. 

Thanks for the ask! This took a long time. If anyone has any followup questions, feel free to ask!

#ask #hp #thanks #Anonymous

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Hey guys, i was wondering if you could update the stackson tag? I also wanted to say that you guys are doing a really great job!! Thank you for being such amazing people and working so hard for this blog :)

AND

Anonymous said:do you have any fics where Stiles is dating a guy in the pack and it’s fine? no one gets mad or thinks its a joke? for like stackson or steter or something, you know?

AND

Anonymous said:Hey guys, I was wondering if you knew any good stackson fics? no angst please!!

AND

Anonymous said:do you have any loving or affection stackson fics?

OMG. So much stackson! - Anastasia

First Christmas by hazelNuts

(1/1 I 366 I Teen)

inell asked: “Stiles/Jackson. First Christmas together”

http://wheredidhiseyebrowsgo.tumblr.com/tagged/stiles%2Fjackson

(1/1 I 472 I Teen)

“A complete and total moron,” Stiles continued. “A – a -.”

“Lovesick fool?” Kira offered.

Stiles pointed at her with his free hand. “See, she gets it. Yeah, I’m a lovesick fool.”

I don’t think you’re ready by Fic_Zorro

(1/1 I 891 I General)

It’s a fluffy piece.

But You Are Married to an Asshole by OnTheGround2012

(1/1 I 1,089 I General)

When Stiles wakes up after surgery, he has to face his husband.

Bubbly by LauraElizaStilinskiHale 

(1/1 I 1,459 I Not Rated)

Everything was perfect, everything was great. Heart swelled with affection and they were happy.

He ruined it. He was broken. A camping trip. A sad epilogue.

Touch Me Cruelly by thepistolgirl

(1/1 I 1,643 I Explicit)

what they once were, they can never be again

but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing

aka: library hate-fucking ft. accidental feelings

a little deal by foxerica (ericaismeg)

(1/1 I 1,672 I General)

Jackson keeps coming back to Scott’s vet clinic, and Stiles kind of loves that he’s an over-involved pet owner.

But we get along when I’m inside you by dragon_temeraire

(1/1 I 1,172 I Explicit)

He and Jackson have a lot of casual sex, but what happens when Stiles discovers that he wants more? 

Chocolate Muffins, Nightmares and Some Xbox by OnTheGround2012

(1/1 I 2,147 I General)

Once Stiles is released from the hospital, Jackson visits him at his house during his recovery. Aka every love story has a beginning.

At Least One “I” In This Team by clotpolesonly

(1/1 I 2,483 I Explicit)

Jackson looked down at the sheet of paper that had suddenly appeared in his lap—bubble letters spelling out “TEAM” with the negative space of the “A” colored in to form the letter “I”, the caption proclaiming “there it is, the ‘i’ in team, hidden in the a-hole."—then over to the person who had put it there.

“Really, Stilinski?” he asked flatly. “Really?”

“What?” Stiles said, oblivious tone completely at odds with how fucking smug he looked. “I thought you’d appreciate it. You love self-portraits.”

Forest For Trees by eastofoktober

(1/? I 2,540 I Mature)

In which neither Jackson or Stiles grew up in Beacon Hills but they are like 100% sure there’s something strange about this town. 

Move My World by LauraRoseMalfoy

(3/? I 2,267 I Explicit)

Set after the kanima incident, what would have happened if the pack had convinced Jackson to stay?

Also, Scott is already the Alpha.

According to Plan by lydiamartin (dwinchester)

(1/? I 3,767 I Teen)

How I Met Your Mother Father.

Second Chance at First Pack by TVTime

(1/? I 6,946 I Teen)

The last two years have been difficult for Jackson Whittemore. He never found a pack in London and grapples with constant loneliness and psychological trauma from his time as the kanima, but when he reconnects with Stiles Stilinski over Instagram, he finds himself being offered a second chance at a first pack.

Can I Phone A Friend? by damnfancyscotch

(3/? I 9,473 I Teen)

The worst part is that, this time, Jackson actually didn’t do a damn thing to cause trouble.

At twenty one, he’s enough of an adult to admit that he’s been the source of the majority of his problems over the years.

It’s called personal growth and he’s pretty damn proud of himself for getting where he is now.

But, seriously, this time, he really didn’t do anything.

why were we fighting the whole time? by Thatbookishgirl

(5/5 I 17,832 I Explicit)

Jackson comes back to Beacon Hills after things fall apart in London. Derek welcomes him back into the pack, but no one was expecting him to have a daughter in tow. Their presence throws some people off, Stiles being one of them. How will they learn how to navigate their tricky friendship after so much has changed?

Opposites Attract by Pigeonpost

(6/6 I 23,666 I Mature)

"Stiles,!” Lydia tapped her Jimmy Choo clad foot impatiently and tossed her long, strawberry blonde hair over her shoulder, “ do you want to get laid or not?” The determined glint in her eyes was matched by the sharp edge to her voice.

“Yeah,” Stiles whined, he was thinking more of a deep, long-lasting , loving relationship that led to kids and anniversaries. “but……….”

“But nothing,” Lydia balled her hands and rested them on her hips, “Brett has got to go.”

“But,” Stiles protested, “I spent ages finding,” Lydia’s eyebrow rose disapprovingly, “ok, technically stealing, ” Stiles corrected with a blush, “that guy’s photo from the Internet and hours and hours making up that profile, couldn’t we just keep some of it?”

Lydia glanced at the laptop. “Stiles sweetie,” she said more patiently, “he’s not you, he’s a fantasy you made up and you deserve to be loved for who you are.”

#teen wolf #stackson #stiles/jackson #stiles stilinski #Jackson Whittemore #Anon #Rating: M #rating: e #10kto

[weekendwarriorblog]

WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND August 2, 2019  - LUCE, THE NIGHTINGALE, TEL AVIV ON FIRE, THE RED SEA DIVING RESORT

There are some really good movies out this week, and I want to shine a bit of focus on some of the limited releases before getting to the bigger releases.

First up, there’s Julius Onah’s LUCE (NEON), starring Kelvin Harrison Jr. from last year’s excellent Monsters and Men as the title character, a well-liked African-American high school student who seems to have it all together. His adopted parents, played by Naomi Watts and Tim Roth, love their son and are willing to give him the benefit of a doubt when one of Luce’s teachers, played indelibly by Octavia Spencer, finds something in Luce’s locker and tries convincing his parents that maybe he’s not the perfect son.

This film deals with the difficulties of being an African-American student in modern times and the expectations put on you. In Luce’s case, he was adopted after being rescued from an African war zone by his adopted parents, and they think he can do no wrong. When Luce’s teacher finds something in his locker, she thinks he’s putting on a front and fooling everyone but her.

Luce reminds me quite a bit of HBO’s Big Little Lies, a series I absolutely loved, because it’s about the interactions of these characters and their differing viewpoint on what’s happening. It also reminded me of the remarkable work done by Todd Field in his two movies, particularly In the Bedroom.

The performances all around are fantastic, making me think that this could work just as well as a play*, but there are some nice surprises in there like Andrea Bang as Stephanie Kim, a fellow student who might have been involved in an assault. I would not be remotely shocked if Spencer gets another Oscar nomination for her role in this (which ends up being far more complex a role than the one she played in the thriller Ma), but the entire cast and the way Onah tells this story is equally riveting.

What’s especially good about Luce is that it’s likely to start a lot of conversations, hopefully between white and black viewers, but it’s just one of the better adult dramas this year, and I’m sure Onah* has a strong future ahead if he keeps making movies like this. (Note: I feel a little silly because when I wrote this I didn’t realize that the movie was indeed based on a play and that Onah had directed The Cloverfield Paradox which went straight to Netflix.)

Rating: 8/10

Jennifer Kent’s THE NIGHTINGALE (IFC Films) is the follow-up to her 2014 horror film The Babadook, which is thought to be one of the best horror films of the past decade – and I’m not going to disagree with that sentiment.

The Nightingale is a very different movie, a period revenge thriller set during the days when Australia was caught in a war between its indigenous people and the British army. In this environment is Aisling Francisoci’s Clare, a young Irish ex-convict who has been bought into service by an Army officer (Sam Claflin), who will not release her after she fulfills her duties.  One night, her husband and baby daughter are killed, sending Clare on a path of vengeance. Along for that journey is Baykali Ganambarr’s Billy, an indigenous tracker who knows that being black means he’s just as at risk of getting murdered as Clare.

This is not the groundbreaking follow-up some might be expecting, but it’s still very good, and it proves what a talented filmmaker Kent is, both with the screenplay that’s authentic to the times and the way she directs

I think what surprised me most about The Nightingale was how pretty boy actor Sam Claflin is able to play a complete slimeball, which is very much against the characters we’ve seen him play before. This is as much a testament to Claflin as it is to Kent for realizing he had it in him.

Some people might try to sway you off seeing Kent’s film due to the violence, which includes brutal rape, but honestly, I’ve seen far worse from male filmmakers like Lars von Trier and Gasper Noé, and in this case, it’s keeping with the way women would have been treated during these times.

I don’t think The Nightingale will be for everyone, especially those who first became fans of Kent’s from her earlier venture into horror. This is a tough and serious drama that still has genre elements, but it leaves a lasting imprint on you, not always in a good way.

Rating: 7.5/10

Lastly, I want to draw special attention to Sameh Zoabi’s TEL AVIV ON FIRE (Cohen Media), a witty comedy set in modern-day Israel where a Palestinian soap opera filled with dysfunctional characters becomes the center of a conflict more bizarre than the one in the Middle East. It stars Kais Nashif as Salam, a consultant on his uncle’s show who gets stopped at a checkpoint by a soldier Assi (Yaniv Biton) who doesn’t like the way that the Israeli soldier is portrayed on the show. He offers Salam a few tips, and Salam’s uncle and the show’s primadonna star like them enough to promote Salam to writer… except he relies on Assi to help him with that duty.

The movie definitely veers into the world of the absurd as Assi has to contend with his wife (an avid fan of the series) and Salam is trying to reconnect with an old flame, all the while dealing with the tense situation between the Israelis and Palestinians in the region.

This movie mainly surprised me because I didn’t go into it expecting a comedy, so when it proved to be particularly witty and entertaining, I was glad I made the effort to see it.

In fact, I had a chance to speak with Zoabi last week, an interview I’ll be running soon, but I wanted to share a few tidbits from it now.

“The comedy decision was more of a natural progression as my voice as a filmmaker,” he told me. “My first feature was a comedy, and I went to school here at Columbia University and did my masters here and did my BA in Tel Aviv, which is interesting because in Tel Aviv, I studied mostly European cinema more than American cinema, so the arthouse world is more prominent in the studies there. Then you come to the U.S., and it’s a totally different business, which is entertainment. I always felt like it was interesting if you could find your voice in the middle where you can be talking about something important, but still entertain at the same time. I think gradually I realized while watching the news and the media all the time, it’s always the fighters and the victims, and there’s nothing in between, which is a daily reality that I grew up with, which is that people are funny. People don’t wake up in the morning and think, ‘Oh, my God, today I’m going to go kill five, six people.’ They wake up in the morning and they still have to do [everyday] things. These are the characters that never make it to the big media. I grew up with comedies. People in my village, my town, my family, they never talk about serious things. It’s almost like every third line has to be a joke. I always said that if I want to talk about these issues and I want to present the reality closer to what it is, I think humor is an essential part of it. It comes really natural. Once I look at a situation, it’s almost like back home when I tell my friends a serious story, everyone is waiting for the punchline. It’s not an effort. It’s something you grow up with.”

“As a writer, you evolve of course, and hopefully you get better from one film to the next, but the voice of it has always been there, and I love the creation of comedy, because it brings people together in different ways.”

“For this film in particular, it cannot be done without a comedy, because it’s all about stereotypes,” he continued. “It’s about how Palestinians see the Israelis and how Israelis see the Palestinians. The best way to deal with it is a comedy, and the seriousness comes from the soap opera.”

“I actually grew up watching more soaps than films. I grew up two TV channels, and my Mom controls the remote, so we always had to watch soap operas. Years after, with all these satellites and millions of stations, there’s more soaps in the Middle East – from Turkey, from Syria, from Lebanon, Egypt. When I grew up, we only watched Egyptian soap operas, and this soap opera in my film is almost an homage to one that was very popular about an Egyptian spy who comes to Tel Aviv. I changed the narrative and made it a woman, but what’s interesting is that when I was writing the film, I was home with my Mom watching one of her soap operas, and she was crying at a moment when I was laughing, because of the overacting. I asked, ‘Mom, do you really believe this?’ and she goes, ‘What? The movies you make are better?’”

I’ll have more from this interview soon, but if you have a chance, do check out Tel Aviv on Fire, which opens at the Quad Cinemaand the Landmark 57in New York on Friday.

Of course, the big movie of the weekend is gonna be Universal Pictures’ FAST AND FURIOUS PRESENTS: HOBBS AND SHAW, and I’ve written quite a bit about that over at The Beat, including my interview with writer/producer Chris Morgan and a box office preview. My review will be live later on Wednesday. Not sure what more I can say about the movie… I enjoyed it!

I’m also excited that A24 is expanding Lulu Wang’s THE FAREWELL nationwide this weekend after it broke into the top 10 last week. I’ve been meaning to see it again myself and probably will this weekend, but it gets my highest recommendation, especially if you want to learn more about Chinese culture and traditions than you may have been able to get out of Crazy Rich Asians. Even though this one also stars Awkwafina, it’s a very different movie and it’s a very different, more dramatic role for the actor, and I wouldn’t be shocked if she’s in the Oscar (and Indie Spirit) conversation at year’s end.

LIMITED RELEASES

Opening in L.A. this Friday at the Landmark Nuart and in New York at the Quad on August 9 is Garret Price’s Love, Antosha, co-produced by Like Crazy director Drake Doremus, which is about actor Anton Yelchin, who was at the peak of his career when his life was cut down suddenly in a bizarre accident. This is a really sold documentary that’s quite heartbreaking, and I want to write more about it and hope to soon…

Opening at New York’s Film Forum on Wednesday is Stephen Wilkes’ doc Jay Myself (Oscilloscope), a film about photographer Jay Maisel, whose six-floor building The Bank on Bowery and Spring Street has been wrapped in mystery until the filmmaker is given access just before Maisel’s planned move after selling the building.  It will open in L.A. on August 18.

One movie I had heard about out of Sundance but didn’t have a chance to see was Britt Poulton and Dan Madison’s Them That Follow (1091), which has an amazing cast that includes Oscar winner Olivia Colman, Walton Goggins, Alice Englert, Kaitlyn Dever from Book Smart, Jim Gaffigan, Thomas Mann and more. It takes place in the Appalachias in a community of snake handlers run by the Pastor Lemuel Childs (Goggins) as his daughter Mara (Englert) is getting ready for her wedding day when a secret is revealed about the church.

Lots of odds and ends after that, mostly low-profile stuff really …

Claudio Giovannesi’s Piranhas (Music Box Films) based on the novel by Gomorrah writer Roberto Saviano stars Francesco Di Napoli as a 15-year-old who lives with his mother in Naples in a neighborhood ruled by the Camorra mafia, although he has dreams of leaving, something that gets him involved with selling drugs.

Latin American filmmaker Mariano Llinás’ 14-hour epic La Flor (Grasshopper Films), which premiered at last year’s New York Film Festival, will open at Film at Lincoln Center in New York on Friday. It’se a “love letter to the history of cinema” filmed on three continents in six languages with the director making appearances to explain the structure. I just don’t have 14 hours to see this so I probably never will.

Adam Dick’s Teacher (Cinedigm) stars David Dasmatlhcian  (Ant-Man) and veteran comic Kevin Pollak that follows the downward spiral of DastMalchian’s high school English teacher who is trying to protect his students from bullies while challenging a wealthy patron in the community.

The other movies opening this weekend are Fred Grivois’ 15 Minutes of War (Blue Fox Entertainment), starring Alban Lenoir and Olga Kurylenko, based on the 1976 hostage crisis when Somali rebels kidnapped 21 French children; Sara Seligman’s crime-thriller Coyote Lake (Cranked Up),  Zach Gayne’s States (Indiecan Entertainment) starring Alex Essoe; and Diane Krueger’s psychological spy thriller The Operative (Vertical), directed by Yuval Adler.

I don’t know much about The Grateful Dead: Meet-Up at the Movies 2019, which is taking place on Thursday, August 1, although apparently, the entire Giants Stadium concert from June 17, 1991 will be screened.

STREAMING AND CABLE

Netflix’s big release of the week is RED SEA DIVING RESORT, a dramatic thriller based on true events starring Chris Evans, Haley Bennett, Michael Kenneth Williams, Alesandro Nivola and more. It deals with the true story of a group of Ethiopian Jews who are seeking refuge from the warlords in Jerusalem, so it’s up to Evans’ Israeli special agent Ari Levinson to find a way to get them out of the country. He does so by having the Israeli government lease a rundown tourist spot in Sudan, to where the Ethiopian refugees can be brought by Michael K. Williams, as the man dedicated to saving them all.

Levinson has to deal with a lot of pushback from the government, including his handler played by Sir Ben Kingsley, but he puts together a crack team of Mossad agents (including Bennett and Nivola) to make this operation happen.

I wanted to like this movie more, due to it being based on an inspirational story, but it’s tone is all over the place, sometimes to the point of ridiculousness, and bouncing back and forth from the serious to the frivolous is not something that works in this case. I just don’t think Gideon Raff, who both wrote and directed this, is a very good filmmaker, and he’s made a fairly bland movie that’s so inconsistent, it’s hard to get

It’s a shame, because this seems like an important story to tell, but when you compare it to something like the recent Hotel Mumbai… or even Terry George’s Hotel Rwanda … it’s obvious why this isn’t getting theatrical distribution.

Rating: 6/10

Also, Cindy Chupack’s Otherwood, starring Angela Bassett, Patricia Arquette and Felicity Huffman will stream starting Friday. They play three friends who are feeling forgotten on Mother’s Day, so they drive to New York to reconnect with their adult sons. (How come MY mother never has done this??!)

Also, it looks like Dear White People is back for its third season, and though I haven’t seen it, creator Justin Simien is a good dude, who I used to work with in his film publicity days, so check it out! (In other words, do as I say, not as I do.)

REPERTORY

METROGRAPH (NYC):

Opening Friday is the Metrograph’s retrospective on Czech New Wave filmmaker Luraj Herz called “In and Out of the Czechoslovak New Wave.” This continues in the tradition in the past year of rep theaters getting into the Czech New Wave, and the series includes the filmmaker’s 1978 take on Beauty and the Beast, his 1981 film Ferat Vampire, and then next week, it will screen a restoration of the filmmaker’s 1969 film The Cremator. Also Friday, Metrograph will begin screening a new 35mm print of Joan Tewkesbury’s Old Boyfriends (1979), starring Talia Shire, John Belushia, Keith Carradine and Richard Jordan. In preparation for the release of Nanfu Wang’s excellent new doc One Child Nation, the Metrograph is also showing her previous two films, Hooligan Sparrow on Saturday (with the filmmaker doing a QnA) and 2017′s I Am Another You  on Sunday.

This week’s Late Nites at Metrograph is John Carpenter’s Prince of Darkness from 1987, while Playtime: Family Matinees  will screen the 1953 monster film The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, which was a huge influence on the making of the original Godzilla.  “Pier Paolo Pasolini: A Future Life Part II” concludes this weekend with screenings of 1970’s Notes Towards an African Orestes and Pasolini’s collaboration with Godard, 1963’s La Ricotta, which will screen with three Godard shorts, all in 35mm. Rob Nilsson’s 1996 film Chalk will play a couple more times before the weekend, as well.

FILM FORUM (NYC):

The Forum continues its amazing Burt Lancaster series with Atlantic City and Luchino Visconti’s 1963 film The Leopard on Wednesday, plus John Cassevetes’ 1963 film A Child is Waiting on Weds. and Thurs. 1983’s Local Hero screens on Friday and Saturday and more, as the series continues through August 6.

THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):

Tarantino’s movie is still mostly showing Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood for the next few weeks, and it’s also mostly sold out, but the Wednesday matinee James Bond movie continue today with On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969), George Lazenby’s only movie as Bond, but a good one nonetheless. The weekend KIDDEE MATINE is Disney’s amazing Mary Poppins (1964), and then Monday’s matinee is John Waters’ original 1988 musical comedy Hairspray.

AERO  (LA):

It now looks like the EGYPTIAN THEATRE will shut down for renovations but the Aero is back, taking up the “Highballs and Screwballs” double feature series with My Man Godfrey  (1936 )and Danger (1946)on Thursday, followed Friday with a double feature of Billy Wilder’s 1950 classic Sunset Boulevard and Preston Sturges Sullivan’s Travels (1941)… the latter two are in 35mm, the first two as DCP. Friday’s midnight movie is the original Child’s Play, and then Saturday, it’s back to “Highballs and Screwballs” with the Oscar-winning It Happened One Night  (1934) and Ida Lupino’s The Hitchhiker  (1953). On Sunday, the Art Directors Guild brings Woody Allen’s The Purple Rose of Cairo  (1985) with production designer Stuart Wurzel in person.

IFC CENTER (NYC)

Apparently, the IFC’s usual series are back… or maybe the theater finally decided to add them to its website because it looks like this began back in early July, and I didn’t see any of this on the site before this week. Anyway, I’ll try to get over the fact that I missed most of July with the August offerings. Weekend Classics: Staff Picks Summer 2019 will screen James Gray’s Two Loversthis weekend, while Waverly Midnights: Staff Picks Summer 2019 will show Stephen Chow’s Kung Fu Hustle and Late Night Favorites: Summer 2019 will show… for the 5,000th time… Ridley Scott’s Alien. (There must be a lot of demand since this seems to show at the IFC Center every month.) Also, “Abbas Kiarostami: A Retrospective” continues over the next few weeks with two more panels by film critic Godfrey Chesire and Jamsheed Akrami this Saturday and Sunday.

FILM OF LINCOLN CENTER (NYC):

“This is Cinema Now: 21stCentury Debuts” concludes on Wednesday with double features of Neighboring Sounds (a fantastic Brazil-set doc) and João Pedro Rodrigues’s 2000 film O Fantasma, as well as a double feature of Eduardo Williams’ The Human Surge and Helena Wittman’s Drift.  This week’s free double feature on Thursday is Todd Haynes’ Velvet Goldmine (1998) as well as Alex Ross Perry’s fantastic recent film Her Smell with a reception in between! And did we mention... it’s FREE?!

BAM CINEMATEK(NYC):

BAM’s series “We Can’t Even: Millennials on Film”  continues this week with Beach Rats, The Bling Ring, Tangerine, Greta Gerwig’s Oscar-nominated Lady Bird, David Fincher’s The Social Networkand the Edward Snowden doc Citizenfour, basically movies from the last ten to fifteen years that appeal to Millennials. On Saturday, the “Beyond the Canon” series will screen Haifaa Al-Mansour’s Wadja, along with Wim Wenders’ 1974 film Wind in the Cities.

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

The “See It Big! 70mm” series is a bit of a knock-off of what Lincoln Center did a few years back, but some of the same movies will be shown including Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey, as well as Alfonso Cuaron’s Roma, plus more in the coming weeks. Jim Henson’s Labyrinth, starring Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie, will screen every afternoon from Thursday to Sunday as part of its “Summer Matinees: Fantastic Worlds” series. (While there, also check out the Jim Henson Exhibition!)

ROXY CINEMA (NYC)

New York’s downtown (and downstairs) arthouse will show the 1966 political thriller Torn Curtain in 35mm on Thursday, Saturday and Sunday.

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART  (LA):

This week’s Friday night midnight movie is Tommy Wiseau’s The Roomfrom 2003.

Next week, we have a bunch of wide releases including Paramount’s Dora and the Lost City of Gold, the horror anthology Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, the female-driven crime thriller The Kitchenand more.

#WhatToWatchThisWeekend Movies Reviews TheNightingale Luce RedSeaDivingResort TelAvivOnFire

[quelieo]

If you’re looking for my suicide note, here it is

I was depressed my entire life. It only took my parents getting divorced and me having a few breakdowns for my family to finally get that. The signs were always there.

I was miserable with fleeting moments of happiness. The rare occasions my family would get along when we were just having fun. Like movie nights on Fridays, swimming at night, lake days, teaching Maceon to play baseball even though my parents were separated, going to the splash park as a family even though my parents were separated, holidays...birthdays... and campfires as a family even though my parents were divorced. I lived for those moments, literally.

I lived because I thought Maceon needed me, but he grew up, got reclusive, angry, and was battling his own demons. He didn’t need nor want me anymore. I didn’t kill myself because of you, I lived because of you. Because a few of the times I attempted suicide you were in the other room and it hit me what that would do to you. So I sat the knife down, I puked up all of the pills, I threw the razor away. Because my love for you was more than death. You were my baby and I want you to be kind, and happy, and successful, and get everything you want out of life. I want you to be close with your entire family, fix things with mom. Or you’ll regret it. I want you to care about how inanimate objects feel, again. Rediscover that kindness and empathy. It’ll save you. I want you to be happy and stop letting life harden you. I love you more than anything. Keep my t-shirts, give my toys your daughter and have take extra special care of my barbies and stuffed animals. Tell her stories about us playing with them and tell her I dreamed of having a little girl like her one day. That dream kept me going in school. Remember to slow down and appreciate each good moment in life, find the light in a bad situation. Be the positive. Change lives, but your own life first. Find your happy. Quit trying to please everyone and be perfect. It ok not to be. Travel lots, and take in the world. Take lots of pictures! I love you, little big head

Bubby, you didn’t play a part in it either. But I spent a lot of my time trying to be the adult for you too. And once you started battling your own demons, I lost you too, same as Maceon. It felt like you both only wanted me when you were bored, needed someone to gossip to, when it was convenient for you. I looked up to you, I trusted you more than anyone, I loved my big brother. I’m so proud of how far you’ve come and how you keep fighting back against life’s struggles. Don’t give up on that. Fight like hell. Reconnect with your family, stop making excuses about the distance and the time lost or trying to please everyone. And stop hiding who you are, trying to please them. They need to learn to get over themselves. It shouldn’t have taken you almost dying for them to start treating you like a human being again. Maybe my death will finally wake them all up. I want you to find someone you love. Have a family, design your own house, finish school, find a career you love, travel. I love you, bunny

Memaw, I told you you’d out live me. You’ve lived and amazing life and you helped through so much. You’re the only person I had that truly listened and tried to understand the things I said. You never argued, half listened, or chastised me. You didn’t get upset or try to prove your point, put yourself above me. And you always loved me anyway. I’ll miss your gross white t-shirts, you’re untamable hair, and your hodge-podge little house. They made me smile and gave me a lot of comfort when I needed it most. Thank you for everything you did, even the things you didn’t realize you did. I promise I’ll give Papaw lots of hugs when I see him. He and I have a lot of catching up to do.

Kyle, it wasn’t because of you. I’ve never connected with a person so well. I adored you. I saw my future in you and all of your potential. You frustrated me to death, you didn’t think, you’re too angry at the world and you use your political views and religion to project that, because you’re trying to rebel and prove yourself and establish independence. It’s actually hurting you and holding you back. You’re not sure who you are so you’re trying to be completely different from anyone else. I understand, just know there’s nothing wrong with being normal. Violence and anger is what’s with the wrong, quit adding to it. No one deserves it regardless of what they’ve done. Punishments for mortal actions is not up to us to decide. I really did want to marry you and build a life and career. I had everything planned. Everything is still logged in on my phone so once you get in my phone, you’ll see. I was happier when I was with you. I could actually breath. I want you to live a long life, to do good things and find happiness. I have that you will. Do something good to remember me. And don’t let my parents get rid of my animals. They need the company and my animals don’t deserve to be given up over selfish reasons. They’re lives too. You were the love of a lifetime, Grimes. I’ll love you forever

Granny and Gramps, you weren’t the cause but you played a big part in a lot my frustration, sadness, and anger. I loved you all so much because you’re my grandparents, but you need a huge reality check. You made me feel like less of person for being depressed and seeking help. You acted like I should be able to overcome it on my own and it wasn’t that big of a deal. You belittled my beliefs and made me feel stupid for them, then acted like it was a joke. You acted like a lot of things were a joke. You gave me a hard time for being myself, for being kind to everyone and everything, for being even the slightest bit like my mom. You’re racist, but like to think that you’re not just because you’ve had friends who were black or aisian or what have you. Being fascist is using the disgusting names that you do, and seeing yourself above them. You’re a bad Christian. You dove deep into Christianity to cope with your own life struggles and find purpose. That’s a good thing, but you don’t love everyone, you can be very vindictive, you gossip a lot and talk terribly about people you think have wronged you, you’re unforgiving, and don’t like when people don’t fit your standards. I understand why you all are that way, but I’m telling you that you don’t need to be. Family is still family regardless of their mistakes, if they’re gay, or if they’ve wronged you. Jamie, Angie, and Penny are still the mothers of your grandchildren. Don’t talk so I’ll of them. Especially in front of their kids. People think you’re rich because you act it. You’re not very humble, you can be quite pretentious. You can fix those things, just stop get angry and making selfish excuses. You still have time. That’s my advice to you. I trust you, you taught me a lot and did give me love, but a spent a lot of time having to bite my younger or hide who I was to please my dad when it came to you. I shouldn’t have had to do that. I want you all to do better, for me. I love you so much, that’s why I’m telling you this. Don’t let me down.

Lee, a lot of the things I’ve already said to others could also be said to you. I’ll just say this, don’t let life continue to harden you, forgive. I know it’s hard but you need to get that anger out of you. Stay out of trouble and on this path. You’re doing an amazing job at life and I can’t wait to see what you do! Thank you for always being my friend and drying my tears during situations I was too embarrassed for anyone else to see. I know you didn’t understand what was wrong with me, but thank you for sticking with me anyway. You were the best friend I ever had and I love you, Turtle.

Court, Lindz, and Kaels, what can I say to you that I already haven’t told you? Especially Kaelin and Lindsay because I gave them this huge letter of advice for graduation. Court, you were literally my soulmate. The perfect friend and I would have loved living with you! I want you to strive for the best in life. Don’t settle for boys, finish school and make a great career, move to a nicer area, an raise a family. Don’t let people make you angry.

Kaelin, I already poured my heart out to you but let me repeat it: I’m proud of your growth. You’re better than that nonsense. Don’t settle for people, be kind, speak your mind and stand up for yourself, be fearless. You’re headed in the right direction and I’m so proud of you!! Keep going. I can’t wait to see the things you do. Just do everything you do with love. Forgive. Be kind.

Lindsay, I meant what I said in that letter, but I few other things to say. You’re not doing well. You haven’t been a good friend at all, you abondoned us and really hurt all of us. You’re better than that. It’s good to be close with your boyfriends family, but that shouldn’t be the only people you hand out with. Your friends don’t see, hear from, or know you. Neither does your family. Lily is a terrible friend, you’re a little too attached to her just because she’s your boyfriends sister. No one likes Ben. He’s controlling, fascist, sexist, and incredibly naive. You’ve invested yourself way to much in that relationship and your entire personality changed because of it. Did you ever find it odd that your depression and everything suddenly got out of hand after you got serious with him? It’s not a coincidence. You’re better than that. You’re worth more than that. Quit letting people walk all over you and let your confidence shine. You have so many great things in store for you in your lifetime but none of that is possible if you continue on this path. Change it. Fix things with the people you’ve hurt. Grow as a person. I love all of you girls, you were like my sisters and we’re the friends people dream of having. Thank you for that.

Mom and Dad, The Penelope and Compadre,

I’m grouping you all together for obvious reasons. I’ll be blunt, you both have a twisted world view and some serious mental problems and emotional drama. You’re lives before you met us the root of that, you all not facing it is why your marriage sucked. You love eachother, and you need eachother, but you need help. You’re good people and I love you so much... but I spent my entire life being the adult and picking up your all’s messes, and you never even saw it. You put yourselves on pedestals even though you hate yourselves. So you like to think everyone else has done you wrong. That’s the case. You both like to act positive but you’re really negative. You like to act like you know everything. You treat everyone else so much better than eachother and your kids. The drinking and the misuse of medications, it’s obvious and disgusting. I spent my whole life taking care of you all when you’d be too out of it to realize what you were doing. The things you said to me secretly diminished my mental well being, ruined my confidence, and sky rocketed my depression and anxiety. You hit me, threw things, fought me, and either never remembered or were so embarrassed that you just acted like it didn’t happen. My sleep schedule was shit because of how many times I had to stay of all night to makes sure you didn’t get hurt, to clean up your messes, and get you to bed. I mommied everybody because I had to be the mommy. Even to Maceon. You all weren’t the ones shielding him, I was. Making sure he was in the shower so he didn’t see or hear the fight that I did as stood in the doorway. Sleeping with him and telling him stories to tune out the late night arguments and make-up sex. There’s a reason he didn’t want to talk during your divorce and why he begged me to get custody of him when I turned 18. Begged me. We had a lot of good times, and I love you so much. But you both have serious issues and hurt me so much. Quit blaming eachother, quit blaming everyone else. Only you have the power to fix it. Quit claiming you like to be alone and pushing everyone away. Quit drinking to cope. Dad, you spent the first fifeteen years of my life using me as a personal therepist, complaining about mom and the rest of the world. That hurt me. But it hurt me worse that after the divorce we weren’t close anymore and you distance yourself and didn’t try to fix it. It hurt me again when you still didn’t try but took the opportunity of Maceon being mad at mom, to do to him what you did to me the first fifeteen years of my life. And now he’s you. Miserable, in denial, angry at the world, reclusive, and has unhealthy coping mechanisms. Fix it. Mom, you’re really sick, I know. I watched it. And I spent my whole life looking after you, hiding it from other people, taking up for you, and you only really understood that twice. You spent so much time taking your anger out on me. Same as Dad. You all were so mean to me and you either would never remember or you would honestly try to justify it it your own mind with self pity and selfish excuses. You spent my whole life blaming me for your problems, and you spent so long doing it that you actually wound up believing it. You’d brag about me to everyone else and brag about me to me when you were sad, but you spent a lot of time angry from dad, mecications, work. And during those times you were awful to me. I love you, but you need to do better and quit being so angry. Get help. Dad, you get help too. Quit being so embarrassed and angry. Just fix it. You all ruined your family and pushed everyone away from you, yet you’re still trying to impress the rest of the world, to impress your parents. It’s unhealthy. I love you all so much, and for most of my life you two were also a big reason I didn’t kill my self. But not in the end, you were a huge part of why I finally gave up. On top of everything else.

Full disclosure, I did know a lot more than you thought I did. I experienced a lot more than you thought and I dealt with it myself to shield you all and protect you. I liked girls. But I could never come out. I wrote about it a lot so if you look back in my journals and my Tumblr, you’ll see it. I was sexually assaulted several times in my life. Twice in elementary, they’re very vague now because I spent so long trying to convince myself that it was a bad dream. Once again in high school, junior year. He was a year younger than me and I was dating Aaron at the time so I was embarrassed. I got stalked in college. He’s still on campus, he sexually and verbally assaulted 13 other girls, was kicked out of his last college, is on academic probation, and I’m pretty sure he has mental issues. I reported it. Campus didn’t do anything. I drank a lot more than on senior trip, props to dad for always keeping a hefty liquor supply. Fueled a bad habit from a young age. I smoked in my teen years, cigarettes and marijuana. Surprise.

Requests: donate my money to Maceon’s college fund. Help him through college. Take everything I said into account and fix things. Tell my professors thank you for everything they did and for faith in me. Don’t lie in my obituary. Donate my clothes, but keep the sentimental ones. Let the girls take what they want of my things, you all keep what you want, then sell everything else that no one wants. Use the money make to fix up the house, add to Maceon’s college fund, and help you all get back on your feet. Don’t spend a lot on my funeral, and use my social media selfies where my makeup and hair looked extra good to show the funeral home how to make me up for the viewing. Have everyone close to me share their favorite memories and how they really felt about me. Have me cremated and spread my ashes everywhere you travel to. Get my writings published, make a book or something. Use the money to help yourselves. Don’t give away my animals. Let them live long, happy, healthy, safe lives with you all or I will come back to haunt you until you die. Be a real family, just fix things, get help. That’s all I want. Make sure you listen to all this. Know that I love all of you, I just better for you and for you to do better. Don’t do it for me, don’t do it to prove anything. Do it for you and for the people you want to be. Do it to make the future brighter and better. I love you all, I’m sorry.

[brian-lozano91]

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 stars Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, Michael Rooker, Karen Gillan, Pom Klementieff, Elizabeth Debicki, Sean Gunn, Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell. It’s directed by James Gunn (Guardians of the Galaxy, Slither and Super) It’s the sequel to Guardians of the Galaxy and the fifteenth film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Guardians Vol. 2 is about, Peter Quill and his fellow Guardians are hired by a powerful alien race, the Sovereign, to protect their precious batteries from invaders. When it is discovered that Rocket has stolen the items they were sent to guard, the Sovereign dispatch their armada to search for vengeance. As the Guardians try to escape, the mystery of Peter's parentage is revealed.

 Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.2 was a really good film, not as good as the first one. What works in this film are the characters, you can tell that James Gunn really loves these characters because each character is unique and carry their own baggage. What also works is the tone of the film, James Gunn knows what type of movie he is making. The film is at times over the top and extremely fun. Which I repeat fun. This is what makes Marvel so successful is that no matter what type of character they make into a movie at least you know by now that the movie is going to be good. Now let get back to the characters, the main one in the film, the main focus is Star Lord or Peter Quill. This movie is basically all about him. If you haven't seen the film I won’t spoil anything but it has to deal with family problems. The way they approached it was very good and really makes you care for Star Lord and relatable. Actually out of all the Marvel movies he is the most relatable, I feel everyone has been in his situation and know what he going through. But not just Star Lord, but the rest of the characters have their own problems as well. Gamora has to deal with her sister and how they grew up together with a horrible father and how one sister resents the other. Then we have Rocket, who is mentally suffering from being loved and having friends because the experiments that he endured. He doesn't feel he deserves their friendship so he acts like jerk all the time. Then we have Drax who still thinks of his dead wife and daughter. There's a beautiful scene where the character Mantis, who is an empath, which means that with a touch she feels people’s emotions. Drax is just sitting down and with one touch she starts crying, all Drax was doing was thinking about them.

 That’s great moment showing this strong character has such strong emotions. Now the new character’s like Mantis. Mantis is just happy all of the time and naive, but she is really cute and has fun with the Guardian's. Then we also have Ego, which is Peter’s father. The dynamic between him and Peter was really good and you can see he is really trying to reconnect with him and explain things. We also have Yondu who the whole movie we see that he is thinking about his glory days of actually being part of a group of ravagers. Which is where Stallones character plays in who is the leader of the original ravagers. Yondu was kicked out of the group, and the movie as it goes along explains what happened. When you do you would feel bad for him. Yondu was written really well and Michael Rooker did a great job in this movie. You care about his character and I feel that he is going to bring the most emotions from the film.

 Then the film has a lot more comedy it then the first one and when the comedy hits it’s great, and most of the comedy comes from Drax he is basically the comedic relief and I felt that he hit all the beats. Also baby Groot was good to when he worked. I feel people are going to love Groot in this, he is really cute. Also the Sovereign I thought were really cool looking and fit in this universe of the Guardians, it felt very old school sci fi films, hopefully we see more of them. Also the special effects are really good, the color of the film is great. Cinematography was beautiful, make-up is good to. All the technical stuff is great.

 Now for the negatives which brings the movie down a bit compared to the first film. The big one is the comedy, when the comedy misses oh man it misses. It becomes eye-rolling and you know James Gunn knows better because of the last Guardians film. The comedy in that film was on point, every joke was funny and every situation that was set up for a joke. This one was bad, luckily not all the jokes but it was 50/50. Then Drax is great comic relief and despite having one emotional scene, he is just comic relief. He has no arc or emotional scenes and only has one action scene. Drax was short changed in this. Also Nebula, I like her story and the scenes with her and Gamora and the other Guardians but the way that she is played is so over the top which I guess is what James Gunn wanted and she is played that way in the first one but she has a bigger role in this one so her acting was more noticeable in this and it was kinda cringe. Then we get baby Groot, like the comedy in this film Groot is hit and miss, and he’s more miss than hit. I didn’t think it was necessary to have him as a baby in this, I would’ve preferred him as an adult that he has more to do but whatever. Also finding out who the villain is, it’s really obvious. Also I felt Stallone felt misplaced in this movie and the after credit scenes only two were good the other’s pointless, just like in the last Guardians of the Galaxy movie.

 But despite that Guardians vol. 2 is still a really good movie, you will a really good time watching it. You probably won’t have the same problems that I have and for most people this will probably be just as good as the first one. For me though the comedy kills it from being perfect, however the emotions and the characters are what makes these two films good and save this film. I heard that James Gunn is making another one and it’s going to finish the story arc of the Guardians. I can’t wait to see what Gunn has in store for them and looking forward to see these characters again in other films in the future. Recommend seeing this film you won’t waste you money.

  4 out of 5 stars.

#guardians of the galaxy #guardians of the galaxy vol. 2 #Marvel Comics #marvel cinematic universe #marvel studios #Chris Pratt #Dave Bautista #zoe saldana #bradley cooper #vin deisel #james gunn #sean gunn #Space Films #comic book movies #star lord #groot #baby groot #rocket raccoon #rocket racoon and groot #yondu udonta #nebula #kurt russell #ego the living planet #mantis

[prorevenge]

Destroy me as a person, I'll destroy your entire existence.

I'm warning you in advance, this is going to be a long one. TL;DR at the end. Names of people and places have been changed for discretion. I don't expect you to believe it's true, everyone has the right of doubt. The revenge mainly goes towards my thankfully-no-longer-stepmom, but it comes with a side of fuck you to my Dad who at the time was an enabler.

This story is part of the reason I have borderline personality organization. For those who are not familiar with it, it's not a disorder. I can funtion on a much higher level than someone with a personality disorder, however not as highly as someone healthy. I'm putting this beforehand, because you need to understand that I wasn't always like this. The revenge is the result of my personality being slowly and painfully crushed, and getting a last kick out with it's last breath. That last breath of my dying personality wasn't in vain, I'm getting the much needed therapy and help, and I'm making amazing progress. Part of that progress is sharing this. I only shared this story with my therapist until now. Yeah also inb4 "why your real mom didn't help you", she left with another dude when I was just a baby and reconnected with me 2~ years after these events take place, but that's a story for another time.

Background:

You see, my dad is a little bit of a Narcissist (yeah, I know I'm saying at the start of the post that he was also enabling, which is true. He seemed to phase between them depending on situation), but at the same time he is a really intelligent and smart guy, and the combination of these traits was really conflicting. He raised me the "Dad is always right" way, while at the same time he always told me to stand up for myself and never give up. You see, he raised me to be an adult since I was a little child. He taught me everything I know, even the things I needed and used for this revenge.

When I was around 9, we moved to a set of islands in a hispanic country, let's call them Palm Islands. We moved here because my Dad hated our country and wanted to flee. This is important to the story, because he didn't want to move back at all costs. So the island we were staying on at the time is island A. Island A was nice, I quickly learned Spanish and fit in pretty well with the other kids. There were at least 50~ nationalities in our school, so being a foreigner wasn't an issue. My Dad was single, so he was pretty active on dating sites. On these dating sites, he met Lilith (I found this name fitting, look up it's history if you are interested in a demon from the Hebrew mytholgy that kills babies). Lilith was a true Narcissists, in all the aspects you can imagine. She was a teacher, but never had kids of her own even though she wanted. She was from island B. The funny thing is that she catfished my Dad. It was a nice surprise when he went to pick her up to the airport, and was greeted by around 110kg more than he was expecting. Anyways, they got together, and everything seemed fine at the beginning. That's when the big 2008 crisis hit, and it hit really hard in hispanic countries. My Dad was let go at his job and was unemployed. Lilith offered for us to move in with her on island B. My Dad accepted without hesitation, because he didn't want to go back to our country. So this is where the issues start. The first problem was, when we moved to island B, we moved to a really rural and small, xenophobic little shithole of a town. They absolutely hated ANYONE that was not form a latin origin. Well, guess who was the ONLY non-latin foreigner (apart from my dad who didn't move out of the house, as he was unemployed for 2 more years). If you guessed me, you guessed right. It was hell. I didn't even get the chance to fit in. I was bullied all the time. Not just by students, teachers did it and even fucking encouraged it. I was beaten on my way home every week or so by 3 or 4 students, and I remember a time when I was lying on the floor, getting kicked by fuck knows how many kids, when I noticed one of the teachers passing, shrugging, and moving on. There was "go back to your country fucking nationality" graffitied in the town's playground. In the 3 years I lived there, there were several graffity removals, however, this one never got off... As this wasn't bad enough, here comes the fun part. Lilith. Now you are wondering why I named her after a demon that kills babies. Let me answer that for you. If the bullying from school wasn't enough on it's own, Lilith made sure I hated my life. She couldn't stand that my Dad loved me more than her, so she made really fucking sure of it. And why my Dad didn't intervene? Remember I said he didn't want to move back to our country at all costs? The cost of seeing my life destroyed was one he was willing to pay. So he just sat and watched as I suffered. You see, Lilith would always ground me for anything. Lilith would give me really specific instructions for really specific tasks, that were impossible to follow. When I obviously failed, I got grounded. Grounding me meant locking me up in my room with all forms of enjoyment taken a away. All forms of enjoyment for me, meant books. I got my books taken away. All I could do was look on an empty wall and swell in my suffering. Lilith would hold me in constant psychological terror. I was always berated, insluted and talked down on. I heard daily, that my worth is the equivalent to piece of turd, that I am even worth less than that. That nobody loves me and no one ever will. That all that I'm getting is because I deserve it. That I am a waste of space, a piece of human garbage. All the things you can possibly imagine that you don't want a kid to be told. And one last thing to add to the list, starvation. You see, she starved me, even though it wasn't starving in that little piece of garbage that she calls brain. I can't eat crude tomatoes. Not I don't like it and I don't want to eat it, I literally can't. As soon as I feel crude tomato flavor in my mouth, I start to puke. I can't control it. She decided that she will cure this by only feeding me tomatoes for 3 days. Guess how that worked out.. And my Dad? Just looked the other way. I was 14 at the time, and I tried to kill myself 3 times. If any would have been successful, I wouldn't be here telling the story, so hold on to your seats.

This seemingly endless nightmare got a bit better when my Dad got a job at island A and we could move back on our own. But I wasn't the same anymore. I was having serious depression, anxiety, panic attacks. I started smoking and drinking. I couldn't fit in again. I knew that if I wanted to get my life together, I would need to move back to my home country. But you see, being underage, I couldn't do it and my Dad didn't want to move back. Even though we moved back to island A, we still was relying pretty heavily on Lilith financially, so I knew if they broke up, we wouldn't have other choice than to move back.

Just a quick recap about Lilith: a sour lady in her late 40's who is morbidly obese while being really short, around 150~cm, is a teacher but never had kids of her own even though she wanted, was unhappy with her life in general, and being the true Narcissists she is, she blamed everything on the world. She hadn't dumped my dad because she is well aware of her physical traits and knew that if they broke up, she would most likely end up alone. This is where I wanted to hit.

So as I knew some psychology, knowing her personality traits, I somehow suspected that she will try to compensate for the above mentioned with cheating. But cheating is hard when you are a fat and ugly motherfucker, so my next guess were sex-chats. Boy, was I right. I simply installed a keylogger on her computer, and after 2 weeks I had a plethora of sex-chat logs to show my Dad. However, this didn't go as I expected. Instead of breaking up, my Dad got in a position of power after confronting Lilith about it. This was a serious miscalculation on my part, as I should have expected that my Dad won't break up because he doesn't want to move back, but rather use this in his 'games'.

I knew I had to go all out on this one if I wanted to break them up. So I hatched my master plan.

But I wasn't just going to make them brake up. Even after all the things that the place and her have done to me, I had a little fight in me yet, which at the start I referred to as the last breath of my dying personality.

I was out for destroying Lilith's entire life in the process and make my Dad do what he didn't want to while seeing me suffer.

The Setup:

Remember when I said my Dad was active on dating sites? Well, he was really active again once we got back to island A. He was relentlessly cheating on Lilith.

First things first, I bought an extra SIM card for my phone. I needed a new phone number for a new WhatsApp account. You see, I knew that if my Dad deemed a lady from a dating site worthy of a fuck, he would ask for a phone number so they don't lose contact. As I couldn't imitate a woman's voice, I opted for leading him on over WhatsApp. Next I set up a dating profile on one of the sites I knew my dad was actively searching on, and I made his idea of a perfect woman, in every aspect, come to life. I spent days fabricating every aspect of her personality and life. This character was named Paula. Paula was a tall, blonde, thin, beautiful, intelligent and nice lady, who worked on island B as a make-up artist for the local news. She grew up in a family with 4 brothers (which I added because I wanted to have a quick and easy excuse if my Dad noticed any male-ish mannerism while speaking to him as her), loved sports, philosophy, and psychology (remember when I said my Dad taught me everything I needed for this revenge?) The pics I used for Paula were from a mostly unknown 30-ish South American actress from a really bad and unknown latin soap-opera (I don't know if it's the correct term in English as well). So I had really nice make-up photos worthy of a local news make-up artist, while having more normal and everyday pics as well. The little twist is Paula is the EXACT OPPOSITE of Lilith in every possible way. It was perfect. One more important thing to note is that my Dad was hooked on a sport that we'll call Squannis. It's a mixture between Squash and Tennis, hence the name, really popular in latin countries at the time. There were familiar Squannis tournaments with Lilith's family, who were really involved in Squannis as well. Also I hope I don't have to explain how extensive a hispanic family is. Important to note that we were the only foreigners in the family. With this information at hand and my WhatsApp and dating profile setup as well, I was more than ready to unleash hell upon those who wronged me.

The Execution:

I started surfing the dating site. As with dating sites in general, you can't search for a person in specific, so I had to go over 200~ish profiles to finally find my Dad and mark that I'm interested in him. That same night, we get matched, and we start chatting. He is loving Paula. Every single bit of her. While chatting, I steer the conversation to make him say things like "even if I had someone I would break up with her in an instant to be with a Goddess like you", "you are my perfect ideal in every way", "where have you been all my life", these sorts of things. The sorts of things I know would get through Lilith's narcissistic wall of protection, and hit her in the very core. My dad was making comments on how she just met the perfect woman in a dating site. He spent basically an hour worshipping why she is perfect for him in every way. Guys, it was the hardest thing to not grin like I just hit the fucking jackpot. He was hooked, like a heroin addict. Next day, all day speaking about Paula. Then comes the third day. He asks for a mobile number, he wants to hear Paula's surely angelic voice. I was prepared. The conversation went something like this:

Dad: I'm having a really nice time talking with you, and I'm really afraid that you might just dissapear - as happened with others - so what if we exchange numbers?

Paula: I'm having a really nice time as well with you, but sadly I've been catfished a lot, and I'm really cautious when it comes to strangers on the internet...:( But anyways, as I'm really liking you, I'll make a kind of exception. Give me your phone number, we'll communicate on WhatsApp, so we don't lose contact, but promise me that you will not call me until I say that I'm feeling ready!

Dad: I can totally understand that, and I respect it. So let's do it your way. :)

When I pressed enter on the catfish message to send, I felt like I was pressing the button that dropped the nuke on Hiroshima. I was feeling the justice enter my pleasure receptors slowly, bit by bit. It was the best thing I had felt every since Lilith entered my life.

This goes on in WhatsApp, I'm taking a screenshot of everything that I think will hurt Lilith. After a week of talking I have everything that I want to send her. But I needed to make it believable, otherwise it will be an obvious catfishing, and I'm sure my Dad eventually would have traced it back to me. However, I had a plan for this as well. Remember when I said my Dad plays Squannis and Paula loves sports but lives in island B, where Lilith and faimily are located? You better do, because this is where it becomes important. Naturally, as any girl who is interested in a guy, will try out his interests. In this case Squannis. So Paula, after my Dad told him about Squannis, decided to get a lesson from a friend of hers, so when she meets with my Dad, they'll be able to play together. But would you know, on a little fucking hispanic island with extended family all over it, this friend happened to be related to Lilith's family. And would you know, Paula was telling him about this new guy she met on a dating site, who is from XX country and that's why she's taking lessons. After more chit-chat, the friend realizes that this guys is indeed my Dad, and proceeds to tell Paula that he has been in a relationship with Lilith for a few years now. So Paula confronts my Dad about this, who is in complete shock and panic mode. My absolute favourite thing was telling him the lines "I KNEW I COULDN'T TRUST PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET, YOU ARE THE SAME CHEATING PIG AS ALL OTHER MEN". After getting the last kicks in I blocked my Dad from every possible way of communication on all of Paula's accounts.

But here comes the sweet part. Lilith. My dear, dear Lilith. I tell her the same story about Squannis that I told my dad, then proceed to send her every screenshot, every piece of conversation that I knew would hurt her. Every sentence where my Dad describes the perfect ideal of a woman, and it's exactly the opposite of her. Every message where my Dad says things to Paula that Lilith always wanted to hear but never got. Sweet fucking Jesus, it felt good.

The Aftermath:

After being in a position of power, and being the saint that never cheated in the relationship, my Dad got confronted by Lilith. By confronted I mean traveling to us on island A, knocking hysterically on the door at 2am, while I can't make out anything of what she says because of the fucking tsunami machine that her face has become. Oh, and the screeching. It was like a group of younglings racing on who could scratch the blackboard harder to make to most unpleasant sound. I'm loving every tear, and every moment of it. She is truly suffering. I destroyed the very pillars that held up her personality. I went into a porcelain shop with a fucking sledgehammer. They break up. Lilith is throwing punches. Police is called. In a fit of rage Lilith makes the mistake of hitting one of the officers. I've never seen 180~kg slammed into the ground with such grace. It was truly glorious. As police is escorting her out, I'm looking her dead in the eye. I can see into her soul, and I can see that the person she was is destroyed. As I'm looking her dead in the eye, I'm having the most shit eating grin a human can possibly enforce on it's face. Ultimately, we moved back to our home country.

Oh, and guess who has lost her teaching license? If you guessed, Lilith, you guessed right. Turns out after this incident she had to go under a really strict psychological examination, which was a long time coming imo, where they determined she is unfit for teaching. Big fucking surprise.

TLDR; Dad moves away from country and dates maniac, lets maniac viciously abuse son so Dad doesn't have to move back. Son reveals Dad is cheating, crushing Maniacs soul and indirectly causes Maniac to lose job and livelihood, and forces Dad to move back. (source) (story by shiny-poopstorm)

#prorevenge #by shiny-poopstorm #pro revenge stories #revenge stories #pro #revenge #revenge story

[lifeofaliterarynerd]

YA & NA Contemporary Reads for Valentine’s Day

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before - Jenny Han //  Lara Jean  has never openly admitted her crushes, but instead wrote each boy a letter about how she felt, sealed it, and hid it in a box under her bed. But one day Lara Jean discovers that somehow her secret box of letters has been mailed, causing all her crushes from her past to confront her about the letters.

P.S. I Still Love You - Jenny Han //  Lara Jean didn’t expect to really fall for Peter. She and Peter were just pretending. Except suddenly they weren’t. Now Lara Jean is more confused than ever. When another boy from her past returns to her life, Lara Jean’s feelings for him return too. Can a girl be in love with two boys at once?

Anna and the French Kiss - Stephanie Perkins //  Anna is looking forward to her senior year in Atlanta, where she has a great job, a loyal best friend, and a crush on the verge of becoming more. Which is why she is less than thrilled about being shipped off to boarding school in Paris--until she meets Étienne St. Clair. Smart, charming, beautiful, Étienne has it all...including a serious girlfriend.

Lola and the Boy Next Door - Stephanie Perkins //  Lola Nolan is a budding costume designer, and for her, the more outrageous, sparkly, and fun the outfit, the better. And everything is pretty perfect in her life (right down to her hot rocker boyfriend) until the Bell twins, Calliope and Cricket, return to the neighborhood. When Cricket, a gifted inventor, steps out from his twin sister's shadow and back into Lola's life, she must finally reconcile a lifetime of feelings for the boy next door.

Isla and the Happily Ever After - Stephanie Perkins //  Hopeless romantic Isla has had a crush on introspective cartoonist Josh since their first year at the School of America in Paris. And after a chance encounter in Manhattan over the summer, romance might be closer than Isla imagined. But as they begin their senior year back in France, Isla and Josh are forced to confront the challenges every young couple must face, including family drama, uncertainty about their college futures, and the very real possibility of being apart.

My Life Next Door - Huntley Fitzpatrick //  The Garretts are everything the Reeds are not. Loud, messy, affectionate. And every day from her rooftop perch, Samantha Reed wishes she was one of them . . . until one summer evening, Jase Garrett climbs up next to her and changes everything.

Better Off Friends - Elizabeth Eulberg // For Macallan and Levi, it was friends at first sight. Everyone says guys and girls can’t be just friends, but these two are.  They are platonic and happy that way.They can’t help but wonder . . . are they more than friends or are they better off without making it even more complicated?

Wait For You - Jennifer L. Armentrout //  Traveling thousands of miles from home to enter college is the only way nineteen-year-old Avery Morgansten can escape what happened at the Halloween party five years ago—an event that forever changed her life. All she needs to do is make it to her classes on time, make sure the bracelet on her left wrist stays in place, not draw any attention to herself, and maybe—please God—make a few friends, because surely that would be a nice change of pace. The one thing she didn’t need and never planned on was capturing the attention of the one guy who could shatter the precarious future she’s building for herself.

A Little Something Different - Sandy Hall //  The creative writing teacher, the delivery guy, the local Starbucks baristas, his best friend, her roommate, and the squirrel in the park all have one thing in common—they believe that Gabe and Lea should get together. But somehow even when nothing is going on, something is happening between them, and everyone can see it

Royally Screwed - Emma Chase // Nicholas Arthur Frederick Edward Pembrook, Crowned Prince of Wessco , grew up with the whole world watching, and now Marriage Watch is in full force. Nicholas has to decide who he is and, more importantly, who he wants to be: a King... or the man who gets to love Olivia forever.

Summer Days and Summer Nights - Stephanie Perkins //  Maybe it's the long, lazy days, or maybe it's the heat making everyone a little bit crazy. Whatever the reason, summer is the perfect time for love to bloom. Summer Days & Summer Nights: Twelve Love Stories, written by twelve bestselling young adult writers and edited by the international bestselling author Stephanie Perkins, will have you dreaming of sunset strolls by the lake.

Just One Day - Gayle Forman //  Allyson Healey's life is exactly like her suitcase—packed, planned, ordered. Then on the last day of her three-week post-graduation European tour, she meets Willem. A free-spirited, roving actor, Willem is everything she’s not, and when he invites her to abandon her plans and come to Paris with him, Allyson says yes. This uncharacteristic decision leads to a day of risk and romance, liberation and intimacy: 24 hours that will transform Allyson’s life.

Just One Year - Gayle Forman // When he opens his eyes, Willem doesn’t know where in the world he is—Prague or Dubrovnik or back in Amsterdam. All he knows is that he is once again alone, and that he needs to find a girl named Lulu. They shared one magical day in Paris, and something about that day—that girl—makes Willem wonder if they aren’t fated to be together. He travels all over the world, from Mexico to India, hoping to reconnect with her. But as months go by and Lulu remains elusive, Willem starts to question if the hand of fate is as strong as he’d thought.

The Sun is Also a Star - Nicola Yoon //  Follow Natasha, a girl who believes in science and facts, as she meets Daniel, a dutiful son and dreamer, as they spend a single day together in New York - and try to stop Natasha’s family from being deported to Jamacia.

Everything Everything - Nicola Yoon // My disease is as rare as it is famous. Basically, I’m allergic to the world. I don’t leave my house, have not left my house in seventeen years. The only people I ever see are my mom and my nurse, Carla. But then one day, a moving truck arrives next door. I look out my window, and I see him. His name is Olly. Maybe we can’t predict the future, but we can predict some things. For example, I am certainly going to fall in love with Olly. It’s almost certainly going to be a disaster

Beneath Wandering Stars - Ashlee Cowles //  After her soldier brother is horribly wounded in Afghanistan, Gabriela must honor the vow she made: If anything ever happened to him, she would walk the Camino de Santiago through Spain, making a pilgrimage in his name. The worst part is that the promise stipulates that she must travel with her brother's best friend--a boy she has despised all her life.

Isn’t She Lovely - Lauren Layne //  Stephanie Kendrick gave up her whole summer to ace her NYU film school screenwriting course, so she's pissed to be stuck with a preppy, spoiled frat boy as her writing partner. Then again, with her piercings, black-rimmed eyes, and Goth wardrobe, Stephanie isn't exactly Ethan Price's type, either. He's probably got his eye on some leggy blonde with a trust fund... or does he?

Catch a Falling Star - Kim Culbertson //  Nothing ever happens in Little, CA. Which is just the way Carter Moon likes it. But when Hollywood arrives to film a movie starring former child star turned PR mess Adam Jakes, everything changes. Carter's town becomes a giant glittery set and, much to her annoyance, everyone is starry-eyed for Adam. Carter seems to be the only girl not falling all over herself to get a glimpse of him. Which apparently makes her perfect for the secret offer of a lifetime: playing the role of Adam's girlfriend while he's in town, to improve his public image, in exchange for a hefty paycheck.

The Hating Game - Sally Thorne //  Lucy Hutton and Joshua Templeman hate each other. Not dislike. Not begrudgingly tolerate. Hate. And they have no problem displaying their feelings through a series of ritualistic passive aggressive maneuvers as they sit across from each other, executive assistants to co-CEOs of a publishing company. Now up for the same promotion, their battle of wills has come to a head and Lucy refuses to back down when their latest game could cost her her dream job…But the tension between Lucy and Joshua has also reached its boiling point, and Lucy is discovering that maybe she doesn’t hate Joshua. And maybe, he doesn’t hate her either. Or maybe this is just another game.

Wanderlost - Jen Malone //  Aubree’s ready for a chilled-out summer at home in Ohio, until she finds herself taking over her sister’s job as a tour guide…in Europe. Things fall apart almost immediately, and when the tour company owner’s son comes along for the ride and steals Aubree’s heart, keeping up the ruse of being her own sister becomes the hardest challenge of all.

The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight - Jennifer E. Smith //  Today should be one of the worst days of seventeen-year-old Hadley Sullivan's life. Having missed her flight, she's stuck at JFK airport and late to her father's second wedding, which is taking place in London and involves a soon-to-be stepmother Hadley's never even met. Then she meets the perfect boy in the airport's cramped waiting area. His name is Oliver, he's British, and he's sitting in her row. A long night on the plane passes in the blink of an eye, and Hadley and Oliver lose track of each other in the airport chaos upon arrival. Can fate intervene to bring them together once more?

The Geography of You and Me - Jennifer E. Smith //  Lucy and Owen meet somewhere between the tenth and eleventh floors of a New York City apartment building, on an elevator rendered useless by a citywide blackout. After they’re rescued, they spend a single night together, wandering the darkened streets and marveling at the rare appearance of stars above Manhattan. Lucy and Owen’s relationship plays out across the globe as they stay in touch through postcards, occasional e-mails, and—finally—a reunion in the city where they first met.

P.S. I Like You - Kasie West //  While spacing out in chemistry class, Lily scribbles some of her favorite song lyrics onto her desk. The next day, she finds that someone has continued the lyrics on the desk and added a message to her. Soon, Lily and her anonymous pen pal are exchanging full-on letters—sharing secrets, recommending bands, and opening up to each other. Lily realizes she’s kind of falling for this letter writer. Only, who is he?

On the Fence - Kasie West //  For sixteen-year-old Charlotte Reynolds, aka Charlie, being raised by a single dad and three older brothers has its perks. She can outrun, outscore, and outwit every boy she knows—including her longtime neighbor and honorary fourth brother, Braden. But when it comes to being a girl, Charlie doesn't know the first thing about anything. To cope with the stress of faking her way through this new world of  makeup, lacy skirts, and BeDazzlers , Charlie seeks late-night refuge in her backyard, talking out her problems with Braden by the fence that separates them. But their Fence Chats can't solve Charlie's biggest problem: she's falling for Braden. Hard.

Since You’ve Been Gone - Morgan Matson //  It was Sloane who yanked Emily out of her shell and made life 100% interesting. But right before what should have been the most epic summer, Sloane just…disappears. All she leaves behind is a to-do list.  Emily now has this unexpected summer, and the help of Frank Porter (totally unexpected), to check things off Sloane's list. Who knows what she’ll find?

Georgia Peaches and Other Forbidden Fruit - Jaye Robin Brown //  Joanna Gordon has been out and proud for years, but when her popular radio evangelist father remarries and decides to move all three of them from Atlanta to the more conservative Rome, Georgia, he asks Jo to do the impossible: to lie low for the rest of her senior year. And Jo reluctantly agrees.  Things get complicated when she meets Mary Carlson, the oh-so-tempting sister of her new friend at school.

Far From You - Tess Sharpe //  After a painful car accident led to a dangerous OxyContin addiction, Sophie’s fought every day to get and remain clean. When someone plants drugs on Sophie after the death of her best friend Mina, everyone assumes that Sophie fell back into her destructive habits and took Mina down with her. Only she knows that Mina’s murder wasn’t a drug deal gone wrong, and only she can stop the killer.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe - Benjamin Alire  Sáenz //  Aristotle is an angry teen with a brother in prison. Dante is a know-it-all who has an unusual way of looking at the world. When the two meet at the swimming pool, they seem to have nothing in common. But as the loners start spending time together, they discover that they share a special friendship—the kind that changes lives and lasts a lifetime. And it is through this friendship that Ari and Dante will learn the most important truths about themselves and the kind of people they want to be.

History is All You Left Me - Adam Silvera //  When Griffin’s first love and ex-boyfriend, Theo, dies in a drowning accident, his universe implodes. Even though Theo had moved to California for college and started seeing Jackson, Griffin never doubted Theo would come back to him when the time was right. But now, the future he’s been imagining for himself has gone far off course. To make things worse, the only person who truly understands his heartache is Jackson. But no matter how much they open up to each other, Griffin’s downward spiral continues. 

I’ll Give You the Sun - Jandy Nelson //  Jude and her twin brother, Noah, are incredibly close. At thirteen, isolated Noah draws constantly and is falling in love with the charismatic boy next door, while daredevil Jude cliff-dives and wears red-red lipstick and does the talking for both of them. But three years later, Jude and Noah are barely speaking. Something has happened to wreck the twins in different and dramatic ways . . until Jude meets a cocky, broken, beautiful boy, as well as someone else—an even more unpredictable new force in her life.

Amy & Roger’s Epic Detour - Morgan Matson //  Amy Curry is not looking forward to her summer. Her mother decided to move across the country and now it's Amy's responsibility to get their car from California to Connecticut. The only problem is, since her father died in a car accident, she isn't ready to get behind the wheel. Enter Roger. An old family friend, he also has to make the cross-country trip - and has plenty of baggage of his own. The road home may be unfamiliar - especially with their friendship venturing into uncharted territory - but together, Amy and Roger will figure out how to map their way.

The Unexpected Everything - Morgan Matson // Andie’s got a plan for her summer, just as she does for everything in life. But when it falls apart thanks to a political scandal, and she ends up spending the summer living with the last person she ever wanted to—her own father—all her carefully laid plans take turns for the unexpected, including the one she had for her heart.

Fangirl - Rainbow Rowell //  Cath is a Simon Snow fan.  She and her twin sister, Wren, ensconced themselves in the Simon Snow series when they were just kids; it’s what got them through their mother leaving. Cath’s sister has mostly grown away from fandom, but Cath can’t let go. She doesn’t want to. Now that they’re going to college, Wren has told Cath she doesn’t want to be roommates. Cath is on her own, completely outside of her comfort zone. For Cath, the question is: Can she do this?

Eleanor & Park - Rainbow Rowell //  Set over the course of one school year, this is the story of two star-crossed sixteen-year-olds—smart enough to know that first love almost never lasts, but brave and desperate enough to try.

Everything Leads to You - Nina LaCour //  Emi, a girl who knows how to design a film set like no one else, but finds her love life far from cinematic. Stuck in a hot-and-cold pattern with the same girl, she begins to break the cycle when a mysterious letter from an acting legend leads her to the beautiful and unconventional Ava.

Gena/Finn - Kat Helegeson & Hannah Moskowitz //  Gena and Finn, two girls in different life stages, brought together by fandom for a TV show called Up Below. While their shared love is what initially bonds them, it doesn’t take long for them to click in every other way, baring their souls to each other about their lives and loves and worlds beyond the screen.  But the closer they get, the more complicated things become, especially for Finn and the boyfriend she lives with.

South of Sunshine - Dana Elmendorf //  In Sunshine, Tennessee, the main event in town is Friday night football, the biggest party of the year is held in a field filled with pickup trucks, and church attendance is mandatory. For Kaycee Jean McCoy, life in Sunshine means dating guys she has no interest in, saying only “yes, ma’am” when the local bigots gossip at her mom’s cosmetics salon, and avoiding certain girls at all costs. Girls like Bren Dawson.

If I Was Your Girl - Meredith Russo //  For Amanda, moving in with her father is an opportunity to start over where no one but her dad has ever known her as Andrew, and the move most certainly agrees with her: she makes new friends in no time, and it gives her and her father a chance to get to know each other again. But she also falls in love, which is something she never expected to happen, has no idea how to handle, and just may spell her downfall.

Run - Kody Keplinger //  Bo’s a wild girl who does her own thing and whose parents couldn’t care less what she’s up to. Agnes is legally blind, and has parents who practically keep her prisoner in an attempt to keep her “safe” from the outside world. Despite their differences, the two become best friends…which means when Bo comes to Agnes one night on the run from the cops and asks her to leave town at her side, Agnes agrees, and the two head off on a hell of an adventure, complete with a whole lot of law-breaking.

A List of Cages - Robin Roe //  When Adam Blake lands the best elective ever in his senior year, serving as an aide to the school psychologist, he thinks he’s got it made. Sure, it means a lot of sitting around, which isn’t easy for a guy with ADHD, but he can’t complain, since he gets to spend the period texting all his friends. Then the doctor asks him to track down the troubled freshman who keeps dodging her, and Adam discovers that the boy is Julian—the foster brother he hasn’t seen in five years.

You Know Me Well - Nina LaCour & David Levithan //  Mark and Kate have sat next to each other for an entire year, but have never spoken. For whatever reason, their paths outside of class have never crossed.  When Kate and Mark meet up, little do they know how important they will become to each other—and how, in a very short time, they will know each other better than any of the people who are supposed to know them more. When Kate and Mark meet up, little do they know how important they will become to each other—and how, in a very short time, they will know each other better than any of the people who are supposed to know them more.

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli //  Sixteen-year-old and not-so-openly gay Simon Spier prefers to save his drama for the school musical. But when an email falls into the wrong hands, his secret is at risk of being thrust into the spotlight. Now Simon is actually being blackmailed: if he doesn’t play wingman for class clown Martin, his sexual identity will become everyone’s business. Worse, the privacy of Blue, the pen name of the boy he’s been emailing, will be compromised.

Always the Last to Know - Crystal Bowling //  Wearing a Maid of Honor dress that very well may cause the South to want to rise again, Jess Reynolds is prepared to walk down the aisle at her best friend's wedding. It's just that things keep getting in the way, like a sex-crazed coworker, an annoying brother-of-the-bride, and a handsome and horribly charming friend posing as the Best Man. As it turns out, Jess might just be the last one to know everything, including the workings of her own heart.

Can You Keep a Secret - Sophie Kinsella //  Meet Emma Corrigan, a young woman with a huge heart, an irrepressible spirit, and a few little secrets: Secrets from her boyfriend: I've always thought Connor looks a bit like Ken. As in Barbie and Ken. Secrets from her mother: I lost my virginity in the spare bedroom with Danny Nussbaum while Mum and Dad were downstairs watching Ben-Hur. Secrets she wouldn't share with anyone in the world: I have no idea what NATO stands for. Or even what it is. Until she spills them all to a handsome stranger on a plane. At least, she thought he was a stranger.…

Famous in Love - Rebecca Serle //  The romantic story of a girl who gets plucked from obscurity to star in the next major feature film franchise based on a book and the ensuing love triangles she gets entangled in on—-and off screen. 

Love and First Sight - Josh Sundquist //  On his first day at a new school, blind sixteen-year-old Will Porter accidentally groped a girl on the stairs, sat on another student in the cafeteria, and somehow drove a classmate to tears. High school can only go up from here, right? As Will starts to find his footing, he develops a crush on a sweet but shy girl named Cecily. And despite his fear that having a girlfriend will make him inherently dependent on someone sighted, the two of them grow closer and closer.

Fan Art - Sarah Tregay //  With the hurdle of coming out to his family overcome, some might think that the worst of Jamie’s problems are over, but really, they’re just beginning. With prom around the corner and his best friend Mason already lined up to take a girl, Jamie is forced to confront overwhelming jealousy and the knowledge that his growing feelings for Mason aren’t going away anytime soon.

One Man Guy - Michael Barakiva //  Aleksander Khederian doesn’t need (or want) summer school, but his strict Armenian-American parents think it’s the best way for him to stay on the honor track. Just when he thinks his summer couldn’t get any worse, he meets Ethan. Cool, confident, and adventurous, Ethan is everything Alek wishes he could be. As he’s drawn closer to Ethan’s alluring persona, Alek realizes that he might want to be a bit more than “just friends” with the attractive skateboarder.

Look Both Ways - Alison Cherry //  A summer away from the city is the beginning of everything for Brooklyn Shepard. Her theater apprenticeship at Allerdale is a chance to prove that she can carve out a niche all her own, surrounded by people who don’t know anything about her or her family of superstar performers. Brooklyn immediately hits it off with her roommate, Zoe, and soon their friendship turns into something more.

The Art of Being Normal - Lisa Williamson // David Piper has always been an outsider. His parents think he’s gay. The school bully thinks he’s a freak. Only his two best friends know the real truth – David wants to be a girl. On the first day at his new school Leo Denton has one goal – to be invisible. Attracting the attention of the most beautiful girl in year eleven is definitely not part of that plan. When Leo stands up for David in a fight, an unlikely friendship forms.

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